Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,395 --> 00:00:04,569
2
00:00:04,613 --> 00:00:06,223
- What's this meeting about?
3
00:00:06,267 --> 00:00:07,659
Did someone find
my meatball sub?
4
00:00:07,703 --> 00:00:09,139
- A, we would never have
a meeting about that.
5
00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:10,575
B, you are holding it.
- Oh.
6
00:00:10,619 --> 00:00:11,794
[chuckles]
Meeting adjourned.
7
00:00:11,837 --> 00:00:13,317
- Meeting's not over, dummy.
8
00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:14,623
Terry said he had some news
from the office
9
00:00:14,666 --> 00:00:16,103
of Commissioner Wuntch.
- [groans]
10
00:00:16,146 --> 00:00:17,843
What does that human blister
want now?
11
00:00:17,887 --> 00:00:19,976
Does she intend
to demote me even further?
12
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,326
Or perhaps she'll transfer me
to the swamps of New Jersey
13
00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:24,807
so I can patrol the sinkhole
where she was spawned.
14
00:00:24,850 --> 00:00:26,635
- Or it's possible
the announcement has nothing
15
00:00:26,678 --> 00:00:28,071
to do with you.
- Oh, good thinking, Peralta.
16
00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:29,203
You're right.
17
00:00:29,246 --> 00:00:30,378
Maybe Madeline wants to inform
18
00:00:30,421 --> 00:00:31,466
us all that she's a Cheuksin.
19
00:00:31,509 --> 00:00:33,163
- A what?
- A Cheuksin.
20
00:00:33,207 --> 00:00:35,078
A Korean toilet ghost,
lives in an outhouse,
21
00:00:35,122 --> 00:00:37,733
wraps her hair around your
throat and chokes you to death
22
00:00:37,776 --> 00:00:39,343
while you move your bowels.
- You know what?
23
00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:41,824
I will give you $6,000
if the announcement
24
00:00:41,867 --> 00:00:43,086
is she's a Cheuksin.
25
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:45,523
- Okay, everyone.
I have some news.
26
00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:47,917
- That Madeline Wuntch
is a Korean toilet ghost?
27
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,962
Boring.
We already knew that.
28
00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:51,921
- Madeline Wuntch is dead.
29
00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:53,053
- Say what now?
30
00:00:53,096 --> 00:00:56,056
[upbeat music]
31
00:00:56,099 --> 00:01:03,193
♪
32
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:15,379
- Wait, Wuntch is dead?
- Yeah.
33
00:01:15,423 --> 00:01:17,294
The Commissioner's office
just notified us.
34
00:01:17,338 --> 00:01:18,556
- No way that's true.
35
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,471
As Wuntch says
when she sees deodorant,
36
00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:22,125
"I'm not buying it."
- [laughs]
37
00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:24,258
- Sir, she's dead.
- Oh, Terry.
38
00:01:24,301 --> 00:01:26,912
Zombies can't die.
This is some sort of scam.
39
00:01:26,956 --> 00:01:28,436
If she were dead,
40
00:01:28,479 --> 00:01:29,915
we would be hearing
the sounds of children
41
00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:31,395
singing in the streets.
- I don't know, sir.
42
00:01:31,439 --> 00:01:33,049
You didn't believe it
when we told you
43
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,572
the Disco Strangler died,
either.
44
00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:35,878
- And I was right.
He was faking it.
45
00:01:35,921 --> 00:01:37,053
- Maybe she's alive.
46
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,402
- Why would Wuntch fake
her own death?
47
00:01:38,446 --> 00:01:40,317
- The same reason she visits
Mexico once a year
48
00:01:40,361 --> 00:01:41,927
and sucks the blood
from all the goats.
49
00:01:41,971 --> 00:01:43,277
For kicks.
50
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:44,539
- Look, I don't know
what to tell you,
51
00:01:44,582 --> 00:01:46,280
but she's dead.
What do you want?
52
00:01:46,323 --> 00:01:48,369
To open up her coffin
and check for yourself?
53
00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:50,806
- Oh, she's very dead.
54
00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:52,373
- Hello, gentlemen.
55
00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:54,288
Guess who's walking
the red carpet this Saturday?
56
00:01:54,331 --> 00:01:56,290
- Chord Overstreet.
- Who?
57
00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:57,943
- Sam Evans from "Glee."
- No, me.
58
00:01:57,987 --> 00:02:00,120
Why would you guess that? I was
clearly talking about me.
59
00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:01,425
- Okay, but for the record,
60
00:02:01,469 --> 00:02:02,687
I bet Chord Overstreet
will also be walking one.
61
00:02:02,731 --> 00:02:04,211
- Stop talking about
Chord Overstreet.
62
00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:05,342
No, I'm going
to the world premiere
63
00:02:05,386 --> 00:02:07,823
of "Kwazy Kupcakes: The Movie."
64
00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:09,564
- Whoa!
How'd you get the invite?
65
00:02:09,607 --> 00:02:11,261
- My buddy Mikey J.
hooked me up.
66
00:02:11,305 --> 00:02:12,610
- Oh, your ska friend?
Did he work on the movie?
67
00:02:12,654 --> 00:02:14,438
- No, he submitted
an unsolicited script
68
00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:16,136
that a producer
accidentally opened
69
00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:18,138
so legally they had to give him
a "story by" credit,
70
00:02:18,181 --> 00:02:19,922
and now I've got four tickets.
71
00:02:19,965 --> 00:02:21,924
- Wow.
So who you bringing?
72
00:02:21,967 --> 00:02:24,883
- You know, Cagney and Lacey
love "Kwazy Kupcakes."
73
00:02:24,927 --> 00:02:27,277
They are crazy Kwazy fans.
- Huh, cool.
74
00:02:27,321 --> 00:02:28,800
Well, if you guys
are free this Saturday--
75
00:02:28,844 --> 00:02:30,541
- Stop, before you say
anything you regret,
76
00:02:30,585 --> 00:02:32,456
you should know that
"Kwazy Kupcakes"
77
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,066
means a lot to Nikolaj.
78
00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:36,547
At the orphanage that game
was his only friend.
79
00:02:36,591 --> 00:02:38,027
- Touching,
but Cagney and Lacey
80
00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:39,333
don't have any friends at all.
81
00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:40,943
Maybe they can make some
at this event.
82
00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:42,074
- So what do you say, Jake?
83
00:02:42,118 --> 00:02:43,467
Whose kids do you like more?
- What?
84
00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:44,816
Wait, wait, wait.
That's not what this is about.
85
00:02:44,860 --> 00:02:46,905
- No, Boyle's right.
Whose kids do you like more?
86
00:02:46,949 --> 00:02:48,211
Tell us now.
- Okay.
87
00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:49,604
You guys are being
really intense.
88
00:02:49,647 --> 00:02:51,258
I like all of your kids
an equal amount.
89
00:02:51,301 --> 00:02:52,868
Just give me some space
and I'll figure out
90
00:02:52,911 --> 00:02:54,652
who I'm gonna take.
- Okay, backing off.
91
00:02:54,696 --> 00:02:56,176
- Stepping away.
- Making room.
92
00:02:56,219 --> 00:02:57,742
- Letting you breathe.
- Thank you.
93
00:02:57,786 --> 00:03:00,832
[cell phone chimes]
94
00:03:00,876 --> 00:03:03,618
Did you both just send me
pictures of your kids crying?
95
00:03:03,661 --> 00:03:04,836
both: No.
96
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:07,883
- Ding, dong,
the Wuntch is dead.
97
00:03:07,926 --> 00:03:10,015
Bagels for everyone!
98
00:03:10,059 --> 00:03:11,495
- So I guess
you believe it now.
99
00:03:11,539 --> 00:03:12,888
- Yep.
Wanna see the selfies I took?
100
00:03:12,931 --> 00:03:14,368
- Actually, yes.
- I'll share the album with you.
101
00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:15,412
- Oh, my God!
102
00:03:15,456 --> 00:03:16,935
I just heard about Wuntch!
103
00:03:16,979 --> 00:03:18,328
She was so young!
104
00:03:18,372 --> 00:03:19,851
- For a redwood tree.
105
00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:21,505
Uh, I don't understand
what's going on.
106
00:03:21,549 --> 00:03:23,507
Why are you crying?
- A person is dead.
107
00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:25,901
I feel sad.
- That's insane.
108
00:03:25,944 --> 00:03:27,511
You don't feel sad
when a monster dies
109
00:03:27,555 --> 00:03:28,686
in a monster movie.
110
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:29,861
In "E.T.,"
111
00:03:29,905 --> 00:03:31,646
do you feel sad
when E.T. dies?
112
00:03:31,689 --> 00:03:33,169
- Yes.
- He wasn't a monster.
113
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,476
- He caused a real commotion.
- It isn't just Wuntch.
114
00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:37,217
I started seeing
a fertility doctor
115
00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:39,828
and she has me taking hormones
to help with ovulation
116
00:03:39,871 --> 00:03:42,352
and my emotions
are in overdrive.
117
00:03:42,396 --> 00:03:44,702
- Well, I know just the thing
to cheer you up.
118
00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:47,444
Wuntch is dead!
Bagel!
119
00:03:47,488 --> 00:03:49,533
Bagel!
Bagel!
120
00:03:49,577 --> 00:03:51,709
- Sir, I am loving
this color on you,
121
00:03:51,753 --> 00:03:53,233
but don't you think
you should tone it down?
122
00:03:53,276 --> 00:03:54,712
- Why, in case I run
into her family?
123
00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:56,018
I'm not planning any trips
to the Bronx Zoo.
124
00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:57,541
- Wait.
125
00:03:57,585 --> 00:03:58,760
Does this mean you're gonna
be captain again?
126
00:03:58,803 --> 00:03:59,717
- It does.
127
00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:00,892
The Chief of Personnel called
128
00:04:00,936 --> 00:04:02,633
to say the promotion
is in the works.
129
00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:04,374
Her death means I've won.
130
00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:05,941
It's finally over.
131
00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:06,898
[cell phone chimes]
132
00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:11,642
An email from Madeline Wuntch?
133
00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:14,993
Subject line,
"It's not over."
134
00:04:15,037 --> 00:04:16,473
- My friends,
135
00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:18,910
I have a proclamation
to bestow upon ye.
136
00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:20,303
- Why are you talking
like that?
137
00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:21,565
- And why'd you have us
come in here?
138
00:04:21,609 --> 00:04:22,871
Is this about the tickets?
139
00:04:22,914 --> 00:04:24,786
- It is indeed about
said tickets,
140
00:04:24,829 --> 00:04:27,136
and said proclamation about
said tickets is in fact--
141
00:04:27,179 --> 00:04:29,399
- Jake, just tell us.
No one is liking this.
142
00:04:29,443 --> 00:04:31,053
- I'm loving it.
You sound so smart.
143
00:04:31,096 --> 00:04:33,882
- Oh, thank you,
my loyal subject Charles.
144
00:04:33,925 --> 00:04:37,755
Now, as you know, this decision
has been quite hard upon me--
145
00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:41,455
title of mine sex tape--but
I have made it at long last,
146
00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:45,502
and it is my decree
that the recipient shall be...
147
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:47,678
Both of you.
- What?
148
00:04:47,722 --> 00:04:49,071
Did you talk to Mikey J.
and get more tickets?
149
00:04:49,114 --> 00:04:50,159
- Indeed I did not,
150
00:04:50,202 --> 00:04:51,203
but it is my decision
151
00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:52,422
that I will cut all
152
00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:54,816
of said tickets in twain.
- Twain?
153
00:04:54,859 --> 00:04:57,253
Terry doesn't want a twained
ticket to "Kwazy Kupcakes."
154
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,820
- That's not how tickets work.
155
00:04:58,863 --> 00:05:00,125
- You'd just be ruining them.
- None of us would get in.
156
00:05:00,169 --> 00:05:01,605
- Are you dumb?
- No!
157
00:05:01,649 --> 00:05:02,824
All right,
full disclosure.
158
00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:04,521
I was trying to do
that Bible thing
159
00:05:04,565 --> 00:05:06,044
and then one of you
was gonna take the high road
160
00:05:06,088 --> 00:05:07,394
and say that rather than see
the tickets destroyed,
161
00:05:07,437 --> 00:05:08,351
you would just bow out,
162
00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:09,439
and then that person
163
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:10,353
was gonna get the tickets.
164
00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:11,746
- Nope.
165
00:05:11,789 --> 00:05:12,703
If I don't get them,
no one does.
166
00:05:12,747 --> 00:05:14,270
- Agreed.
Boyles or bust.
167
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,141
Cut them up.
- I'm not gonna do that.
168
00:05:16,185 --> 00:05:17,839
I'm just gonna have to think of
another way to figure this out.
169
00:05:17,882 --> 00:05:20,320
Stupid Bible with stupid
lessons never solved crap!
170
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:21,930
- So you were right.
171
00:05:21,973 --> 00:05:23,714
Wuntch was not able to claw
through her coffin
172
00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:25,455
and write the email herself.
173
00:05:25,499 --> 00:05:27,239
It turns out, the lawyer
for her estate sent it.
174
00:05:27,283 --> 00:05:29,067
- I wish I had taken the LSATs.
175
00:05:29,111 --> 00:05:32,506
Not to be a lawyer.
just seems like a fun test.
176
00:05:32,549 --> 00:05:33,898
- Dude, you're bumming us out.
- All right.
177
00:05:33,942 --> 00:05:36,466
Uh, the email contains
a link to a video.
178
00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:38,163
I'm going to play it.
Brace yourselves.
179
00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:39,382
If it shows Madeline,
180
00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:41,079
be sure not to look directly
into her eyes.
181
00:05:41,123 --> 00:05:42,429
- Because we'll turn to stone?
- No.
182
00:05:42,472 --> 00:05:44,213
Because her eyes are ugly.
183
00:05:44,256 --> 00:05:46,563
- Hello, Raymond.
Surprised to see me?
184
00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:48,696
- Well, I didn't say
Bloody Mary three times,
185
00:05:48,739 --> 00:05:50,698
so yes.
- When did she record this?
186
00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:52,264
- Judging by the flames
around her,
187
00:05:52,308 --> 00:05:53,265
it could be a livestream.
- [laughs]
188
00:05:53,309 --> 00:05:55,398
Very good, Rosa.
[laughs]
189
00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:57,792
- I'm sure you consider
my untimely death a victory,
190
00:05:57,835 --> 00:05:59,533
but I'd never let you win.
191
00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:01,491
I told everyone that
in my final days,
192
00:06:01,535 --> 00:06:05,277
we reconciled and you insisted
on hosting and organizing
193
00:06:05,321 --> 00:06:07,279
my NYPD memorial service.
194
00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:09,891
I know you won't be able
to resist badmouthing me
195
00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:11,022
at the service.
196
00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:12,241
All the top brass
will be there,
197
00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:13,285
and when you speak ill of me,
198
00:06:13,329 --> 00:06:14,678
it will end your career.
199
00:06:14,722 --> 00:06:17,028
It's over.
I won.
200
00:06:17,072 --> 00:06:18,290
Bye, Raymond.
201
00:06:18,334 --> 00:06:20,292
- Oh, no.
I'm doomed.
202
00:06:20,336 --> 00:06:21,859
- Seriously?
203
00:06:21,903 --> 00:06:23,426
All you have to do
is not insult a dead woman
204
00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:26,037
at her own memorial service.
- Exactly.
205
00:06:26,081 --> 00:06:27,430
It's impossible.
206
00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:30,259
.
207
00:06:30,302 --> 00:06:32,435
- Oh, you must
be feeling better.
208
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:33,393
You're heating up
your favorite meal; beans.
209
00:06:33,436 --> 00:06:34,481
- They're refried.
210
00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:35,438
It's bad enough
they were cooked once,
211
00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:36,700
let alone twice,
212
00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:38,354
and now the toaster oven
makes it three times.
213
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,356
I couldn't be crying
for help any louder.
214
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,010
- So I take it
you couldn't get out
215
00:06:42,053 --> 00:06:43,577
of organizing
Wuntch's memorial.
216
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:44,969
- Oh, no.
It's impossible.
217
00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:46,536
She has bested me yet again.
218
00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:49,191
- Well then stop being such
a moron, you idiot.
219
00:06:49,234 --> 00:06:51,323
- Amy!
- Sorry, it's the hormones.
220
00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:52,673
They're making me
really irritable.
221
00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:53,978
- Angry Amy's right.
222
00:06:54,022 --> 00:06:55,458
All you have to do is say
a few nice comments
223
00:06:55,502 --> 00:06:57,199
during the memorial.
- As God said
224
00:06:57,242 --> 00:06:58,983
when Wuntch tried to sneak past
the gates into heaven,
225
00:06:59,027 --> 00:07:01,464
"It ain't happening, honey."
- [laughs]
226
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:04,162
- I tried to write a kind speech
about her last night,
227
00:07:04,206 --> 00:07:06,295
and this is what came out.
- Oh.
228
00:07:06,338 --> 00:07:08,210
It's, like, 20 pages long.
229
00:07:08,253 --> 00:07:11,082
- Why is it in all caps?
- So I remember to yell it.
230
00:07:11,126 --> 00:07:13,520
- Oh, well, you obviously
can't read any of this.
231
00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:16,131
- Look, since you
can't say anything nice,
232
00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:18,829
try saying the opposite
of whatever you're thinking.
233
00:07:18,873 --> 00:07:20,178
- Interesting.
234
00:07:20,222 --> 00:07:21,397
I'll give it a whirl.
235
00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:26,141
Madeline Wuntch was...
236
00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:28,360
A friend.
- See?
237
00:07:28,404 --> 00:07:29,536
It's not that hard
to say something ni--
238
00:07:29,579 --> 00:07:31,451
oh, you're vomiting.
- [gagging]
239
00:07:31,494 --> 00:07:33,931
- Hi, Jake.
It's me, Nikolaj.
240
00:07:33,975 --> 00:07:34,845
- Hey, bud.
What are you doing here?
241
00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:36,107
It's Thursday.
242
00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:37,152
Shouldn't you be
at tailoring class?
243
00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:38,588
- I want to say thank you.
244
00:07:38,632 --> 00:07:40,068
Dad said that you were
giving us tickets
245
00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:41,896
to the "Kwazy Kupcakes" movie.
246
00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:45,421
- Oh, he did, did he?
Excuse me one second.
247
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:48,250
Of all the twisted moves!
- Don't hate the player.
248
00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:49,773
Go ahead.
Tell Niko he's not going.
249
00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:50,861
I dare you.
- [snarls]
250
00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:52,080
[laughs]
Hey, listen.
251
00:07:52,123 --> 00:07:53,516
[clears throat]
252
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:54,822
Niko, there's something
I gotta tell you.
253
00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:56,432
both: Uncle Jake!
Uncle Jake!
254
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,043
- Slow down, girls.
No need to run.
255
00:07:59,087 --> 00:08:01,089
Uncle Jake is family.
256
00:08:01,132 --> 00:08:03,526
Now, what do you wanna say
to Uncle Jake?
257
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,876
both: Thank you
for the tickets.
258
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:07,617
- Oh, that's so cute
how you said that
259
00:08:07,661 --> 00:08:09,924
at the same time without
rehearsing it in the car.
260
00:08:09,967 --> 00:08:11,752
- It sure is.
Hey, Terry, Charles,
261
00:08:11,795 --> 00:08:13,405
can I speak with you
in the break room for a moment?
262
00:08:13,449 --> 00:08:16,060
Uh, hey, kids,
look at this.
263
00:08:16,104 --> 00:08:17,105
Pimping out your kids?
264
00:08:17,148 --> 00:08:18,541
I hate to say this,
but you two
265
00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:20,587
are acting like bad dads,
and I should know.
266
00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:22,327
One time my father forgot
to pick me up from school
267
00:08:22,371 --> 00:08:24,112
'cause he was having sex
with my best friend's mom.
268
00:08:24,155 --> 00:08:25,200
- Oh, my God.
That's terrible.
269
00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:26,331
- Yeah.
I was 15.
270
00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:27,811
I just walked to the mall
271
00:08:27,855 --> 00:08:29,204
and watched "Empire Records"
by myself,
272
00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:30,988
but the point is,
you're both acting ridiculous.
273
00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:32,686
- No, this is on you, Jake.
274
00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:34,731
You need to make a choice.
- That's not fair.
275
00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:37,865
You both want to go and I don't
want to hurt either of you.
276
00:08:37,908 --> 00:08:39,344
But maybe I don't have to.
277
00:08:39,388 --> 00:08:42,043
I can let fate hurt you.
We'll flip a coin.
278
00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:44,698
Terry, call it in the air.
Heads or tails.
279
00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:46,613
- [grunts]
Neither.
280
00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:47,918
- Oh, my God.
281
00:08:47,962 --> 00:08:49,572
Did you just fold my quarter
in half?
282
00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:50,921
- Fate's a bitch.
283
00:08:50,965 --> 00:08:52,836
You make the choice.
284
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,317
- Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
285
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:58,146
Just so you know,
I would never bend your money.
286
00:08:58,189 --> 00:08:59,539
- Yeah, 'cause you can't.
- Correct, I cannot.
287
00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:01,671
- No one can.
How did he do that?
288
00:09:01,715 --> 00:09:04,456
- Now these fertility drugs
are making me sweat.
289
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:05,632
Is it noticeable?
- No.
290
00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:06,937
- Yes.
- Oh.
291
00:09:06,981 --> 00:09:08,199
I thought we were gonna
lie to her
292
00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:09,636
because it's so upsetting
to look at.
293
00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:11,333
- Just tell me what room
the memorial is in.
294
00:09:11,376 --> 00:09:12,813
We don't have a lot
of time to set up.
295
00:09:12,856 --> 00:09:13,944
- About that.
296
00:09:13,988 --> 00:09:15,032
Yesterday before
you convinced me
297
00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:16,817
to hold a respectful service,
298
00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:20,211
I sent some instructions for
how I wanted the room to look.
299
00:09:20,255 --> 00:09:23,084
We may need to make
some tweaks.
300
00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:26,174
[shocking music]
301
00:09:26,217 --> 00:09:29,003
- So many balloon arches.
- I know.
302
00:09:29,046 --> 00:09:31,309
It all has to go.
Okay!
303
00:09:31,353 --> 00:09:33,616
Everyone, we have work to do.
304
00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:35,183
[organ music]
305
00:09:35,226 --> 00:09:36,184
Better?
- Much.
306
00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:37,272
- But to be clear,
307
00:09:37,315 --> 00:09:38,534
the first version was dope
308
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,796
and you have my respect
for life.
309
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,015
- Excuse me.
310
00:09:41,058 --> 00:09:43,626
Is this the memorial
for Madeline Wuntch?
311
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:47,195
- Yes, this is the memorial
for Madeline Wuntch.
312
00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:50,764
Just saying her name
brings tears to my eyes.
313
00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:53,157
- Why, because her heart
was made of onions?
314
00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:54,245
- Excuse me?
315
00:09:54,289 --> 00:09:55,551
- Madeline Wuntch
was what you get
316
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,684
when you cross a slug
with an anal fissure.
317
00:09:57,727 --> 00:10:01,165
We spent our entire lives
trying to destroy each other.
318
00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:03,777
I was her one true nemesis.
319
00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:07,607
♪
320
00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:09,347
- No.
321
00:10:09,391 --> 00:10:10,348
- Hey there, Jake.
322
00:10:10,392 --> 00:10:11,915
I felt bad about folding
323
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:12,916
your quarter in half,
324
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,397
so I got you a new one.
325
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:18,269
- Thank you.
But that's not a quarter.
326
00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:19,401
- Wow, you're right.
327
00:10:19,444 --> 00:10:21,359
That happens to be an 1883
328
00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:23,535
Carson City silver dollar
in near-mint condition
329
00:10:23,579 --> 00:10:24,885
complete with
commemorative case.
330
00:10:24,928 --> 00:10:26,060
[whistles]
331
00:10:26,103 --> 00:10:28,715
That's gotta be worth $138.
332
00:10:28,758 --> 00:10:29,759
You know what?
Keep it.
333
00:10:29,803 --> 00:10:30,978
- Shame.
334
00:10:31,021 --> 00:10:32,457
Shame, Terrence Jeffords,
shame!
335
00:10:32,501 --> 00:10:33,981
You probably didn't
realize this, Jake,
336
00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:36,070
but the lieutenant over here
is trying to bribe you.
337
00:10:36,113 --> 00:10:37,332
- Yeah, I don't think
he's hiding that.
338
00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:39,073
- I am not.
- Well, neither am I.
339
00:10:39,116 --> 00:10:41,162
Here's a check for $200.
340
00:10:41,205 --> 00:10:43,338
- Another silver dollar.
341
00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:45,296
Ooh, looks like I'm up to 276.
342
00:10:45,340 --> 00:10:48,604
- Well, here's a second check
for $77.
343
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,737
I am up one dollar.
- Four more.
344
00:10:50,780 --> 00:10:52,260
- How many silver dollars
do you have?
345
00:10:52,303 --> 00:10:53,696
- As many as it takes.
346
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:55,567
- Well, this checkbook
is only on 304,
347
00:10:55,611 --> 00:10:57,439
so I can write checks
all day long.
348
00:10:57,482 --> 00:10:58,614
- Well, you know what?
Here's my watch.
349
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,398
- Yeah, melt this down.
- Enough!
350
00:11:00,442 --> 00:11:01,965
I'm tired of being stuck
in the middle of this.
351
00:11:02,009 --> 00:11:04,141
You figure out who gets
the tickets and tell me.
352
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,275
That should keep them busy
for a little while.
353
00:11:07,318 --> 00:11:09,538
- Hey, Jake, we've decided
how to settle this.
354
00:11:09,581 --> 00:11:12,106
- We're gonna duke it out
in the ring.
355
00:11:12,149 --> 00:11:13,847
- What?
356
00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:16,371
- That man is lying.
357
00:11:16,414 --> 00:11:19,156
I don't believe Wuntch
had another rival.
358
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,288
I saw it in her eyes.
359
00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:22,333
She only had hate for me.
360
00:11:22,377 --> 00:11:24,466
- Are you jealous?
- Of course I am.
361
00:11:24,509 --> 00:11:27,469
I despised her
with my entire being
362
00:11:27,512 --> 00:11:29,645
while she was only despising me
with a fraction of hers?
363
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,995
- Sir, you were doing so well,
okay?
364
00:11:32,039 --> 00:11:33,388
Don't let this rattle you.
365
00:11:33,431 --> 00:11:34,781
- Are you wearing sponges
in your armpits?
366
00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:36,173
- If you have a better way
to soak up sweat,
367
00:11:36,217 --> 00:11:37,174
I would like to hear it.
368
00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:38,610
- Where are you going?
369
00:11:38,654 --> 00:11:41,875
- To find out
if there was another man.
370
00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:43,137
[organ music]
371
00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:45,313
So, um, Adam is it?
- Mm-hmm.
372
00:11:45,356 --> 00:11:47,489
- I only ask because
Madeline never mentioned you.
373
00:11:47,532 --> 00:11:49,404
- Interesting,
'cause she mentioned you to me,
374
00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:51,145
as a friend.
- Friend?
375
00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:52,755
- Mm.
- I think you added an "R"
376
00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:54,626
to the word "fiend."
- No, I'm sure it was friend.
377
00:11:54,670 --> 00:11:56,411
I mean, based on context alone,
378
00:11:56,454 --> 00:11:58,021
I wouldn't say somebody was one
of my closest fiends.
379
00:11:58,065 --> 00:11:59,544
- Oh, you might.
380
00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:00,807
We had a very
contentious relationship.
381
00:12:00,850 --> 00:12:02,852
She never forgave me
for embarrassing her
382
00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:04,288
in front of Derek Jeter.
383
00:12:04,332 --> 00:12:05,986
- Well, I embarrassed her
in front of A-Rod
384
00:12:06,029 --> 00:12:07,988
and J.Lo together.
385
00:12:08,031 --> 00:12:10,251
- For 15 years I replaced
her anti-wrinkle cream
386
00:12:10,294 --> 00:12:11,643
with sour cream.
387
00:12:11,687 --> 00:12:13,776
- I replaced her Lactaid pills
with Tic Tacs.
388
00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:15,517
Dead moron was crapping
her pants for months.
389
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:16,779
- She hacked into
my Netflix account
390
00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:18,389
and watched
the "Lizzie McGuire" movie
391
00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:19,956
on repeat to ruin my algorithm.
392
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,349
- She made me guard that doctor
393
00:12:21,392 --> 00:12:23,177
who came back
to New York with Ebola.
394
00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:24,526
- Sir, maybe you want
to keep it down.
395
00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:26,441
There's people--
- That witch ruined my life!
396
00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:28,791
She demoted me from captain
to uniformed officer.
397
00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:31,751
- Eight years ago she had me
kicked off the force entirely.
398
00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:33,448
You were not
her greatest rival,
399
00:12:33,491 --> 00:12:35,276
and the proof is right here.
400
00:12:35,319 --> 00:12:36,364
- Hello, Adam.
401
00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:38,061
I may be dying
402
00:12:38,105 --> 00:12:39,715
but I burned down
your cabin in Maine.
403
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:42,805
You were my one true rival.
404
00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:44,024
- There you have it.
405
00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:47,070
[dramatic music]
406
00:12:47,114 --> 00:12:48,811
- I meant nothing to her.
407
00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:52,467
That cockroach Madeline
was two-timing me!
408
00:12:55,035 --> 00:12:55,209
.
409
00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:56,688
- No sign of Holt anywhere.
410
00:12:56,732 --> 00:12:57,777
- I know that's important,
411
00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:58,690
but I don't think
I can just breeze past
412
00:12:58,734 --> 00:12:59,822
the outfit,
"Sister Act."
413
00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:01,171
- I sweat through my clothes
414
00:13:01,215 --> 00:13:02,825
and I found this in the back
of a closet, okay?
415
00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:04,174
Deal with it.
- You look great.
416
00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:05,697
- Oh, there he is.
Sir, over here.
417
00:13:05,741 --> 00:13:07,047
- Where are you?
418
00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:09,005
Why are you holding
the mean yelling speech?
419
00:13:09,049 --> 00:13:10,485
- Because I'm gonna yell it,
meanly.
420
00:13:10,528 --> 00:13:13,967
I wasted half my life hating
that duplicitous hag,
421
00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:15,359
and she didn't even have
the decency
422
00:13:15,403 --> 00:13:16,752
to truly hate me back.
423
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,188
Well, screw her.
424
00:13:18,232 --> 00:13:20,364
I'm gonna ruin her memorial.
- No, you can't do that.
425
00:13:20,408 --> 00:13:23,367
If you read that speech,
you'll be fired.
426
00:13:23,411 --> 00:13:24,716
- You're right.
427
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,849
And that would ruin my career.
428
00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:28,720
And it's worth it.
429
00:13:28,764 --> 00:13:29,852
I'm giving the speech.
430
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:32,463
- No,
that's what Wuntch wanted.
431
00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:34,770
You're letting her win.
- Sweaty Amy's right.
432
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:35,727
If you really wanna
get back at her,
433
00:13:35,771 --> 00:13:36,772
you'll team up with Adam
434
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,078
and give her a nice funeral.
435
00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:39,862
- It's like
" The Durrells of Corfu"
436
00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:42,038
when Prudence and Louisa
joined forces--
437
00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:44,171
- To sink the catamaran
of the bookseller Yorgos
438
00:13:44,214 --> 00:13:47,087
who wronged them both.
Yes!
439
00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:50,003
I will team up with Adam.
440
00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:51,482
Wow.
441
00:13:51,526 --> 00:13:53,397
[laughs]
For a moment there,
442
00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:56,009
I almost forgot who
the real villain was.
443
00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:59,273
The woman who recently died.
- Mm.
444
00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:01,188
- Charles, why did you
let Terry choose boxing?
445
00:14:01,231 --> 00:14:02,842
- He didn't.
I picked it.
446
00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:04,887
- But you'll die.
- Don't worry about it.
447
00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:06,149
Boxing's in my blood.
448
00:14:06,193 --> 00:14:07,847
My Nana Boyle boxed
in the Navy.
449
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:10,893
- I'm sure she did but--
and hear me out--
450
00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:12,634
what if you're not as strong
as your Nana Boyle?
451
00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:13,896
- I can handle myself.
452
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:15,550
She taught me
her signature punch;
453
00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:17,987
the Strawberry Basket.
- That does not reassure me.
454
00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:19,597
Hey there, big guy.
455
00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:22,905
You sure you're feeling okay
about ending Charles' life?
456
00:14:22,949 --> 00:14:24,907
- Yep, my girls
are gonna see this movie.
457
00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:26,953
- Right, well,
before you commit manslaughter,
458
00:14:26,996 --> 00:14:28,780
I do feel compelled
to tell you that the movie
459
00:14:28,824 --> 00:14:30,434
only has a 38
on Rotten Tomatoes.
460
00:14:30,478 --> 00:14:32,436
- Jake, stop yapping
and let them fight.
461
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,482
- I wanna see the big guy pop
the little guy's head off.
462
00:14:34,525 --> 00:14:35,744
- Yeah, let's start the fight!
463
00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:37,093
I wanna pop that
little guy's head off!
464
00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:38,529
- You're clearly
the little guy.
465
00:14:38,573 --> 00:14:39,704
- [laughs]
Good one, Jake.
466
00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:41,968
- All right.
I guess this is happening.
467
00:14:42,011 --> 00:14:43,621
Touch gloves.
468
00:14:43,665 --> 00:14:45,449
[exciting music]
469
00:14:45,493 --> 00:14:48,017
Charles, it's been very nice
being your friend.
470
00:14:48,061 --> 00:14:49,584
Terry, I'll visit you
in prison.
471
00:14:49,627 --> 00:14:51,716
And...
[bell ringing]
472
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,022
Fight.
- Strawberry basket!
473
00:14:53,066 --> 00:14:55,459
[blow lands]
- [groans]
474
00:14:55,503 --> 00:14:56,591
- Whoo, yeah!
475
00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:57,635
You mess with Grandma,
476
00:14:57,679 --> 00:14:58,941
you're gonna get the basket!
477
00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:00,160
- Charles, you punched him
in the nards.
478
00:15:00,203 --> 00:15:01,944
- Yeah, Nana fought nasty.
479
00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:03,641
Now if you don't mind,
I'd like those tickets.
480
00:15:03,685 --> 00:15:05,295
- I didn't hear no bell!
[shouts]
481
00:15:05,339 --> 00:15:06,470
- [grunts]
482
00:15:06,514 --> 00:15:08,429
- Jake, I think those
tickets are mine.
483
00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:11,606
- Strawberry basket!
- [groans]
484
00:15:11,649 --> 00:15:15,001
- Guys, stop!
It's a movie about cupcakes!
485
00:15:15,044 --> 00:15:17,481
- You don't understand!
- You don't have kids!
486
00:15:17,525 --> 00:15:18,918
- [crying]
487
00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:21,355
- Wow, that speech
would have been amazing.
488
00:15:21,398 --> 00:15:23,444
I had to look up what
a toilet ghost was.
489
00:15:23,487 --> 00:15:24,924
- Uh, yes,
I took a trip to Korea
490
00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:26,838
just to research
a new Wuntch insult.
491
00:15:26,882 --> 00:15:28,144
In fact it's been a motivation
492
00:15:28,188 --> 00:15:29,580
for most
of my international travel.
493
00:15:29,624 --> 00:15:31,495
- Mm.
- So you guys are friends now?
494
00:15:31,539 --> 00:15:33,497
- Uh, yes, it seems we have
a great deal in common.
495
00:15:33,541 --> 00:15:34,977
- Well, one thing.
496
00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:36,326
both: Hating Wuntch.
[both laughing]
497
00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:38,285
I read him the obituary
I wrote for her,
498
00:15:38,328 --> 00:15:39,547
but the "Times" wouldn't
publish it.
499
00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:40,635
It had too many obscenities.
500
00:15:40,678 --> 00:15:43,159
- And I read him
my all caps speech.
501
00:15:43,203 --> 00:15:45,335
- And I loved it.
It was like poetry.
502
00:15:45,379 --> 00:15:47,511
- Madeline smelled
like dog crap.
503
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:50,166
- Raymond convinced me the best
way to get back at Wuntch
504
00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:51,907
is to make sure
he doesn't get fired.
505
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,475
Also I'm just gonna chisel
a penis onto her headstone.
506
00:15:54,518 --> 00:15:55,780
- And I'm gonna watch.
507
00:15:55,824 --> 00:15:57,173
[both laughing]
- Please take your seats.
508
00:15:57,217 --> 00:15:58,653
- Well, uh, time for me to go
509
00:15:58,696 --> 00:15:59,871
make a tear-jerker of a speech.
510
00:15:59,915 --> 00:16:01,482
- Hey, I thought
of the best hashtag
511
00:16:01,525 --> 00:16:03,136
to post with my photo
of the grave penis.
512
00:16:03,179 --> 00:16:04,746
- I'm not on board
with that friendship.
513
00:16:04,789 --> 00:16:06,226
- Yeah, there's something
weird about that guy.
514
00:16:06,269 --> 00:16:08,010
Hey, when did he say
he got kicked off the force?
515
00:16:08,054 --> 00:16:09,707
- Eight years ago.
- That doesn't add up.
516
00:16:09,751 --> 00:16:11,927
He said Wuntch sent him
to guard the Ebola doctor.
517
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,581
Wasn't that six years ago?
- Yeah.
518
00:16:13,624 --> 00:16:14,799
- Oh, my God.
519
00:16:14,843 --> 00:16:16,018
Wuntch sent him
to destroy Holt.
520
00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:17,019
- Good afternoon.
521
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:18,803
On this sad day,
522
00:16:18,847 --> 00:16:21,371
I'd like to say a few words
about Commissioner Wuntch.
523
00:16:21,415 --> 00:16:23,634
Madeline smelled
like dog crap.
524
00:16:23,678 --> 00:16:25,636
I'm sorry.
525
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:26,768
I--I don't know what--
526
00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:28,770
From a sick dog.
[laughs]
527
00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:30,511
Adam, what are you doing?
528
00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:33,862
- I'm showing everyone your
true colors, Raymond Holt.
529
00:16:33,905 --> 00:16:35,516
Enjoy the show, people!
530
00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:38,649
.
531
00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:41,522
- Madeline Wuntch
will not soon be forgotten.
532
00:16:41,565 --> 00:16:42,958
Trick or Treaters will dress
like her for generations.
533
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,482
- Hey!
- Diaz, delete all the videos.
534
00:16:45,526 --> 00:16:46,918
[glass cracking]
- Deleted.
535
00:16:46,962 --> 00:16:48,790
- It's over.
- Yeah, for you.
536
00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:50,661
Everyone who's anyone in NYPD
537
00:16:50,705 --> 00:16:52,533
just saw you
for your true self.
538
00:16:52,576 --> 00:16:55,710
Your career is ruined, Ray-Ray.
- Who are you?
539
00:16:55,753 --> 00:16:58,408
Why are you doing this?
- I'm Madeline Wuntch's nephew.
540
00:16:58,452 --> 00:16:59,714
She sent me here to carry out
541
00:16:59,757 --> 00:17:01,411
the final phase
of her master plan,
542
00:17:01,455 --> 00:17:03,935
and now it's all over.
Wait, why are you smiling?
543
00:17:03,979 --> 00:17:08,418
- Because, Adam, this isn't
the real memorial.
544
00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:11,073
It's all a ruse.
- What?
545
00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:12,205
- Yeah, what?
546
00:17:12,248 --> 00:17:13,249
- I knew Wuntch had one
547
00:17:13,293 --> 00:17:14,294
final trick up her sleeve.
548
00:17:14,337 --> 00:17:15,730
I didn't know what it was,
549
00:17:15,773 --> 00:17:17,297
so I had to be prepared
for anything.
550
00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:19,560
This whole thing was staged.
551
00:17:19,603 --> 00:17:20,909
None of these people
are real mourners.
552
00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:22,737
They're not even in the NYPD.
553
00:17:22,780 --> 00:17:24,869
- You hired actors?
- Worse.
554
00:17:24,913 --> 00:17:27,481
They're members
of local improv troupes,
555
00:17:27,524 --> 00:17:30,571
and they did it for
"the exposure."
556
00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:32,225
- This has been a blast,
557
00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:33,922
but we have to go start a flash
mob at the Freedom Tower.
558
00:17:33,965 --> 00:17:35,184
Oh, check out
our YouTube channel.
559
00:17:35,228 --> 00:17:36,577
- No.
Sit down.
560
00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:37,534
- I have to hand it to you,
Adam.
561
00:17:37,578 --> 00:17:38,622
You almost fooled me,
562
00:17:38,666 --> 00:17:40,450
but no other man could possibly
563
00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:41,712
have what Wuntch and I had.
564
00:17:41,756 --> 00:17:44,846
We were star-crossed haters.
565
00:17:44,889 --> 00:17:45,760
- Whatever.
566
00:17:45,803 --> 00:17:47,066
I still inherit half her estate
567
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:48,763
just for trying this.
- Cool.
568
00:17:48,806 --> 00:17:51,200
Who gets the other half
of every child's nightmares?
569
00:17:51,244 --> 00:17:54,029
- I love it, Rosa.
Great work all day.
570
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:57,685
- So how are you two feeling
after your little boxing match?
571
00:17:57,728 --> 00:18:00,079
- My head hurts.
- I can't feel my strawberries.
572
00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:02,951
- I meant more emotionally
and less groinally,
573
00:18:02,994 --> 00:18:04,866
but listen, ever since I brought
these tickets up,
574
00:18:04,909 --> 00:18:07,086
you guys have made my life
absolutely miserable,
575
00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:09,175
but that ends now,
because I've made a choice.
576
00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:10,915
- Cagney is sick.
We don't know how long she has.
577
00:18:10,959 --> 00:18:12,830
- We do know for Nikolaj.
It's 36 hours.
578
00:18:12,874 --> 00:18:14,832
- Just stop, all right?
Stop lying.
579
00:18:14,876 --> 00:18:16,486
This is exactly the type
of behavior
580
00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:20,403
that has led me to decide that
I'm not taking either of you.
581
00:18:20,447 --> 00:18:22,101
- Seriously?
Oh, man.
582
00:18:22,144 --> 00:18:23,798
The kids are gonna be
so disappointed.
583
00:18:23,841 --> 00:18:26,105
- No, they won't,
because they're going.
584
00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:28,150
That's right,
I'm bringing all three of them
585
00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:30,805
by myself
and you two don't get to go.
586
00:18:30,848 --> 00:18:33,590
Your childish behavior
has led you to miss out
587
00:18:33,634 --> 00:18:35,897
on the most exciting movie
premiere event
588
00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:37,942
in the state of New York
this Saturday.
589
00:18:39,596 --> 00:18:41,990
I hope you've learned
your lesson.
590
00:18:42,033 --> 00:18:43,905
Good day.
591
00:18:43,948 --> 00:18:46,125
- [sighs]
592
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:48,170
Wait.
He's taking the kids for us?
593
00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:49,563
- It's just like getting
a free babysitter.
594
00:18:49,606 --> 00:18:50,999
- This is incredible.
595
00:18:51,042 --> 00:18:52,827
People without kids
are so stupid.
596
00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:54,742
- They're gonna destroy him.
- Yeah.
597
00:18:55,699 --> 00:18:56,874
- So just to be clear,
598
00:18:56,918 --> 00:18:58,615
this service is actually real,
right?
599
00:18:58,659 --> 00:19:00,182
- Oh, yes.
600
00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:01,314
I figured if I needed
two fake memorials
601
00:19:01,357 --> 00:19:02,532
to smoke out Wuntch's plan,
602
00:19:02,576 --> 00:19:03,620
she deserved to win,
603
00:19:03,664 --> 00:19:04,795
but she didn't win.
I did.
604
00:19:04,839 --> 00:19:06,188
Finally beat the old fishwife.
605
00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:07,537
- It's crazy.
606
00:19:07,581 --> 00:19:08,756
After today you never
have to think
607
00:19:08,799 --> 00:19:10,671
about Madeline Wuntch again.
608
00:19:10,714 --> 00:19:11,889
- Yes, I suppose you're right.
609
00:19:11,933 --> 00:19:13,674
- Sir, does that make you sad?
610
00:19:13,717 --> 00:19:15,545
- I don't know.
611
00:19:15,589 --> 00:19:17,591
I think maybe...
612
00:19:18,983 --> 00:19:20,333
Yes?
613
00:19:20,376 --> 00:19:22,073
- Well, I think it's natural
614
00:19:22,117 --> 00:19:24,119
to feel a little down
about her death.
615
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:27,688
For the last 20 years,
your lives have been entangled.
616
00:19:27,731 --> 00:19:29,255
- Because of her ratty hair.
617
00:19:29,298 --> 00:19:30,865
No, it's not the same.
618
00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:32,214
Now it just feels like
I'm insulting
619
00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:34,216
a helpless dead person.
- You are.
620
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:36,262
It's what you've been doing
all week.
621
00:19:36,305 --> 00:19:37,611
- Yeah, it's been tight.
622
00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:39,526
[organ music]
623
00:19:39,569 --> 00:19:41,049
- Well, it's time
for my speech.
624
00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:43,182
- Sir, what are
you gonna say?
625
00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:45,445
- I don't know.
626
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:46,533
Maybe I'll just be honest.
627
00:19:46,576 --> 00:19:49,100
♪
628
00:19:49,144 --> 00:19:50,537
- Did he say he
was gonna be honest?
629
00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:51,625
- Yeah, this is gonna be bad.
630
00:19:51,668 --> 00:19:53,017
- As many of you know,
631
00:19:53,061 --> 00:19:55,324
Madeline and I
were bitter rivals,
632
00:19:55,368 --> 00:19:56,847
but I've come to realize
633
00:19:56,891 --> 00:19:58,153
she held a special place
in my life.
634
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:01,765
No one challenged me
like she did
635
00:20:01,809 --> 00:20:04,725
or made me feel as alive.
636
00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:07,945
Our relationship was like
an epic chess match.
637
00:20:09,904 --> 00:20:11,601
And it's hard
to believe that...
638
00:20:13,473 --> 00:20:15,823
She'll never make another move.
[phone chimes]
639
00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:19,130
Unless...
640
00:20:20,523 --> 00:20:22,656
No, it's just a notification.
641
00:20:22,699 --> 00:20:24,571
Cheddar's doggy toothpaste
has shipped.
642
00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:27,791
So she is gone,
643
00:20:27,835 --> 00:20:29,663
and I wish she were not.
644
00:20:31,142 --> 00:20:34,363
I will miss you,
Madeline Wuntch.
645
00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:37,279
- [groans]
Wario, why are you like this?
646
00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:40,413
- Hey, so I don't know
if you noticed,
647
00:20:40,456 --> 00:20:42,893
but ever since I started
those hormone treatments--
648
00:20:42,937 --> 00:20:44,373
- I didn't notice anything.
649
00:20:44,417 --> 00:20:45,722
- You said that way too quick.
650
00:20:45,766 --> 00:20:47,637
- I mean, you did cry
at that one car commercial
651
00:20:47,681 --> 00:20:49,117
and it wasn't even
an emotional one.
652
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,075
It was about towing capacity.
- Yeah.
653
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:52,860
Well, I called the doctor
654
00:20:52,903 --> 00:20:55,297
to see if that was
a common side effect
655
00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:57,212
and apparently, it isn't.
656
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,518
- Oh, no.
657
00:20:58,561 --> 00:21:00,433
Is everything okay?
- Yeah.
658
00:21:00,476 --> 00:21:03,436
She did have one guess
as to what might be causing it.
659
00:21:03,479 --> 00:21:05,742
And, um, she was right.
660
00:21:08,092 --> 00:21:10,181
- [exhales]
661
00:21:10,225 --> 00:21:12,793
Ames.
662
00:21:12,836 --> 00:21:16,057
Are we having a baby?
- We're having a baby.
663
00:21:16,100 --> 00:21:17,624
[laughs]
- [exhales]
664
00:21:17,667 --> 00:21:20,453
[dramatic music]
665
00:21:20,496 --> 00:21:21,802
- It happened!
666
00:21:21,845 --> 00:21:23,760
- Not a doctor.
- Shh.
667
00:21:23,804 --> 00:21:25,936
- Fremulon.
48884
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.