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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:54,597 --> 00:00:57,391 FOUR FACING THE BANK 2 00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:06,734 Show me the money! 3 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:10,196 Come on, that's bullshit! 4 00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,533 Take five! What's wrong? 5 00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:17,203 The take was perfect. - "Show me the money"? 6 00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:20,998 You stole that from Jerry Maguire! - I was two when it came out. 7 00:01:21,457 --> 00:01:22,458 Okay. 8 00:01:22,792 --> 00:01:25,753 Then say, "Show me the... cash." Better? 9 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:28,339 That sucks even more! 10 00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:32,218 That sucks even more than this shitty movie, and this shitty set! 11 00:01:33,135 --> 00:01:37,056 I know... I know you had a role in some TV series... 12 00:01:37,223 --> 00:01:41,310 Wait a second, I starred in the biggest German TV series of all time! 13 00:01:41,477 --> 00:01:43,938 Got it? - And now you do student shorts 14 00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:46,023 for 100 euros a day. 15 00:01:46,357 --> 00:01:47,817 But you said 200! 16 00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:50,820 That was before I knew you were a little diva. 17 00:01:51,153 --> 00:01:53,155 You filthy little... 18 00:01:56,075 --> 00:01:58,077 PETER THE ACTOR 19 00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:10,631 Chris! Chris! Chris! 20 00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:23,060 CHRIS THE BOXER 21 00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:31,569 I'm responsible for this agency's top ten kick-ass ad campaigns! 22 00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:35,114 That's the way it is. Remember the Volkswagen campaign? 23 00:02:35,239 --> 00:02:39,118 That was me! The Bitburger World Cup spot? Me! 24 00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:42,705 But when it's time to choose a creative director, 25 00:02:42,872 --> 00:02:46,584 a job I've worked nine years for, what do you do? 26 00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:49,086 You give it to Gustav! 27 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:52,006 I'm so sick of this agency! None of you 28 00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:55,384 ever appreciated my creative vision. Not one of you. 29 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,053 That's why 30 00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:02,057 I'm going to say something to my bosses from the bottom of my heart: 31 00:03:04,310 --> 00:03:07,062 Fuck you. Fuck you all! 32 00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:11,358 While you wasted your money on whores and fast cars... 33 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:15,112 I'm talking to you, Alex. I was saving my money. 34 00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:19,950 Because I knew that someday you'd stab me in the back. 35 00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:23,120 And now I'll take my money and open my own agency. 36 00:03:23,454 --> 00:03:27,082 Then I'm going to crush you. I'm going to pound you into the ground! 37 00:03:27,416 --> 00:03:29,210 You're all dead! 38 00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:31,462 Okay, that's enough. 39 00:03:31,629 --> 00:03:32,838 Security! 40 00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:37,301 Seriously? 41 00:03:37,635 --> 00:03:39,929 I've had 12 years of Karate lessons. 42 00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:46,685 MAX THE AD MAN 43 00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:04,161 Would you like to open an investment account? 44 00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:05,746 No thanks. 45 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,581 Are you sure? 46 00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:11,752 Sometimes "no" can also mean "yes," or "yes, maybe." 47 00:04:12,086 --> 00:04:16,173 Even though, in most cases, "no" does mean "no." 48 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:21,762 Unless of course we were playing some sort of exciting role game, 49 00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:25,557 and we were tied to refrigerators, for instance. 50 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:29,687 We'd have safe words so we'd know that "no" means "yes." 51 00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:33,899 Or that "chocolate pudding" means "no," 52 00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:37,861 and "pickles" means "yes." Do you want an account now? 53 00:04:38,654 --> 00:04:39,947 No. 54 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:48,372 Pardon me, would you like to open an investment account? 55 00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:51,917 If you say "pickles" I'll staple your ears to your balls! 56 00:04:52,001 --> 00:04:53,627 Perverted asshole! 57 00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:58,632 TOBIAS INVESTMENT ADVISOR 58 00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:05,597 Chris! 59 00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:12,438 The kick has to come right from the hip. 60 00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:15,774 That's right, from the hip. - Hey, Chris. Over here. 61 00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:19,153 I'll be right there, ladies. I'll be right there. 62 00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:21,447 Great job, girls! 63 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:25,367 On Thursday, I'll be even harder on you. - The harder, the better. 64 00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:37,671 How long are you going to play this game? - Game? 65 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:42,092 Yeah, putting your hands on their hips, their butts, their breasts... 66 00:05:42,468 --> 00:05:45,846 Hey, I don't touch breasts. At least not at work. 67 00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:48,724 Come on, Chris. You can't go on like this. 68 00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:51,894 This is nothing. It's just a scratch. 69 00:05:52,061 --> 00:05:54,271 That's not what the doctor said. 70 00:05:54,605 --> 00:05:59,109 You can't renew your fighting license. And your retina is in terrible condition. 71 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:02,404 A boxer can knock me out, but not some stupid retina. 72 00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:05,574 I don't need a retina. I've still got eagle eyes. 73 00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:11,121 That's disinfectant. - I saw that. 74 00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:13,999 I've still got women's boxing. - Yeah, 75 00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:17,628 until your six-pack turns into a beer keg and your joints give out. 76 00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:22,424 Do you think women are still going to pay you to rook their hips? 77 00:06:23,801 --> 00:06:26,303 I may be a little blind, 78 00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:29,348 but I'm not dumb. Let me show you something. 79 00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:45,280 I hear you scared away another customer. - I didn't scare her away, 80 00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:49,451 I just don't like to con people out of their money. It's immoral. 81 00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:52,830 That's the business. - Yes, according to Schumacher. 82 00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:55,499 The guy's a slimebucket. - A slimebucket? 83 00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:58,836 He treats our customers like crap, cheats on his wife, 84 00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:02,840 and promotes his employees based on breast size, not qualifications. 85 00:07:07,845 --> 00:07:11,014 Thanks, Tobias. - Sorry. You deserved your breasts... 86 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:13,392 I mean, your promotion. 87 00:07:14,977 --> 00:07:17,229 Wanna grab a coffee sometime? 88 00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:21,733 Where you're standing will be the boxing ring. 89 00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,569 The heart of it all. 90 00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:27,322 The punching bags will go back there, and the speed bags, you know? 91 00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:31,660 And the lockers will go over there, like in Mickey's Gym. 92 00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:35,789 Mickey's Gym? - From Rocky, with Sylvester Stallone. 93 00:07:36,832 --> 00:07:40,502 The mats go over there, with weights and a place to jump rope. 94 00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:46,300 How can you afford all this? - I've saved money all my life. 95 00:07:46,508 --> 00:07:49,595 I invested my money really well, and tomorrow 96 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:53,390 it's finally going to pay off. I'll sign the contract, 97 00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:56,143 and live my dream. 98 00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:02,483 You dreamer. 99 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:06,695 What are you going to put down there? - Oh, that'll be a sauna. 100 00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:09,448 A sauna? - Yeah. I'll show you. 101 00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:14,369 I have to think of my female clients too, after all. 102 00:08:17,581 --> 00:08:20,792 Can't you think of me for a second? - Yes, of course. 103 00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:28,300 Can you spit that out, please? - Oh yeah. 104 00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:31,929 I'll chew it later. - Chris? 105 00:08:32,471 --> 00:08:34,765 Can we skip foreplay today? - Okay. 106 00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:37,809 I have to get home. It's my husband's birthday. 107 00:08:53,909 --> 00:08:56,995 Why is this door closed? - Because of... flies. 108 00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:59,164 Flies? - Yes. 109 00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:02,960 Tiny little flies flying in and out, the little rascals. 110 00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:06,797 Tobias? Do you know how many banks I supervise? 111 00:09:07,798 --> 00:09:09,716 Nine. Nine banks. 112 00:09:10,259 --> 00:09:15,472 I've got investment advisors shitting heaps of money in eight of those banks. 113 00:09:16,265 --> 00:09:19,977 But in the ninth bank, the investment advisor is a real loser. 114 00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:23,063 I mean an all-round loser. 115 00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,275 Yeah, the guy doesn't even have friends. 116 00:09:27,109 --> 00:09:30,362 And between us, I think he's still a virgin. 117 00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:33,740 Oh, God! He sounds like a real zero. 118 00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:36,410 Tobias? 119 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,495 I'm talking about you. 120 00:09:39,705 --> 00:09:41,873 I've had lots of sex. 121 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,667 Heaps of sex. 122 00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:47,963 Well, I mean not so much... 123 00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:51,133 but I've got this problem... 124 00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:54,219 with nudity. I don't like being naked. 125 00:09:54,386 --> 00:09:57,556 But I've set my sights on somebody, and... 126 00:09:57,973 --> 00:10:00,183 I just don't want to rush her... 127 00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:02,644 My father probably hired you 128 00:10:02,978 --> 00:10:05,981 because he thought you were a wiz with numbers, 129 00:10:06,148 --> 00:10:09,901 but you're only an expert in one number: zero. 130 00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:15,490 At least I always break even. I'm cautious with my client's accounts... 131 00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:19,911 I've got it! Why don't you become a math teacher? 132 00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,955 Tons of vacation, no stress. 133 00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:26,460 I'm not resigning, and you can't fire me for no reason. It's in my contract. 134 00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:32,466 Mr Schumacher, I didn't get the market report for today. 135 00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:36,094 If there are any big changes in the market, 136 00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:38,472 I need to know that for my clients. 137 00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:41,350 Call the head office. It's probably a glitch. 138 00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:44,853 I already called four times. They won't return my calls. 139 00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:50,359 They disrespected me. What do you expect? 140 00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:53,070 I expect you to apologize. 141 00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:56,948 Get on your knees and beg for your job! - Forget it. No way. 142 00:10:57,282 --> 00:11:00,077 Your temper gets the best of you. - Don't forget, 143 00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:03,830 I had to pull a lot of strings to get you a job in that agency. 144 00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:07,042 And I've worked my ass off for them for nine years! 145 00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:11,004 They're nothing without me! - No, you're nothing without them! 146 00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:15,509 I'm not helping you again. - I don't need your help. 147 00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:18,136 I've saved up some money:100,000 euros. 148 00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:20,806 I'm going to use it to open my own agency. 149 00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:27,437 "Chris's Boxing Joint." Man, that sounds fancy! 150 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:45,330 Are you trying to get killed? - I can see the headline: 151 00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:48,250 "Wife Runs Down Jogging Movie Star 152 00:11:48,417 --> 00:11:53,171 and Still Manages... to Get the Girls to School on Time." 153 00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:55,132 Hi, cuties. - Hi, Papa. 154 00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:57,968 I left you some scrambled eggs. - Okay, bye! 155 00:11:58,135 --> 00:12:01,847 Remember to pay the heating bill. - Pay the heating bill, got it. 156 00:12:10,105 --> 00:12:11,815 BAERENBANK AG 157 00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:14,109 ACCOUNT NUMBER 158 00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:16,319 So... 159 00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:19,030 Time to put the cash 160 00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:21,283 in my pocket. 161 00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:24,202 Here's proof, if you don't believe me. 162 00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:27,497 Take a look. - 272 euros? 163 00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:32,502 Mom, that's 6,800 shares of... - Rotary Global? -Yup. 164 00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:35,172 Whatever it is, at four cents a share 165 00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:38,925 that makes 272 euros. - Are you fucking kidding me? 166 00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:57,903 Tobias Bluemel! - Bluemel! 167 00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:00,030 Calm down, gentlemen. 168 00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:04,910 I want to talk to my investment advisor! - We want to talk to Bluemel! 169 00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:09,122 He's a fraud! - Bluemel! Show yourself, coward! 170 00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:13,668 I don't know what... - Oh, these things happen. 171 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:17,464 Too bad the board doesn't like it 172 00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:21,927 when one of our employees gambles away the life savings of his clients. 173 00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:25,639 I didn't gamble anything, I just didn't get the emails. 174 00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:28,225 Oh right, the glitch. 175 00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:31,603 No, look at this. There's nothing there. 176 00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:33,647 See? Nothing. 177 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:38,276 The market reports! Suddenly they're all there! 178 00:13:38,777 --> 00:13:42,239 Oh man. It breaks my heart, Tobias, 179 00:13:42,531 --> 00:13:45,784 but I have to ask for your immediate resignation. 180 00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:50,664 You did this. You did this. 181 00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:54,000 That's despicable! You're scum! 182 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:58,463 You're a monster! Those men trusted me, they trusted us! 183 00:13:58,797 --> 00:14:01,925 They trusted us with their savings! And you just let... 184 00:14:02,259 --> 00:14:04,719 let, let, let them lose it! 185 00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:16,898 Wow, I'm impressed, Tobias! 186 00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:19,192 You've got talent! 187 00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:22,362 I don't mean to be fussy, 188 00:14:22,988 --> 00:14:24,948 but Heidi's nipples are oval, 189 00:14:25,282 --> 00:14:28,493 and she trims her bush into a landing strip. 190 00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,830 Like this. Yeah. 191 00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:36,042 She's an incredible girl. I think she'll look good in your office. 192 00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:41,423 I want you out of here in an hour, got it? 193 00:14:41,673 --> 00:14:43,216 And Tobias, 194 00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,594 leave us a few drawings. 195 00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:54,352 Assholes! - Get out of here! -Bastard! 196 00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:58,398 Or we'll call the cops! - You're bastards! Fucking bastards! 197 00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:00,483 Get lost! - Fuckers! 198 00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:02,485 Let's get a drink. 199 00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:15,123 The bank always wins. - I could've bought a kick-ass car, 200 00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:19,461 kick-ass clothes, a kick-ass new retina. - I'll never apologize. Never! 201 00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:22,422 Freddie always believed in me. No matter what. 202 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,674 She always believed in me. 203 00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:28,762 And now she believes we've got savings. - I won't crawl back to them! 204 00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:33,600 That account has been empty for a year. I couldn't land a single job! 205 00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:37,103 I could've been a pimp, but no! I had to save up! 206 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:41,274 I'm not even a boxer anymore. I'm blind, burned out and drunk. 207 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:44,611 She'll leave me. She'll take the kids, and... 208 00:15:45,362 --> 00:15:48,281 The bank always wins. - My dad never trusted them. 209 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:51,326 You know where he hid his money? In the litter box. 210 00:15:51,493 --> 00:15:53,745 But the cats shit in there. - Yup. 211 00:15:53,912 --> 00:15:57,165 The bank always wins. - Are you a broken record or what? 212 00:15:57,332 --> 00:15:59,376 The bank always wins. 213 00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:03,797 If I ever see that advisor again... - Tobias Bluemel. 214 00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:07,550 Bluemel, Tobias. Fuckface Bluemel. 215 00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:10,637 There he is. - Fuckface! 216 00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:15,642 I'll beat the shit out of you! 217 00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:19,229 If I ever... - Hey, don't break my cellphone, too! 218 00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:23,316 I'd do it real clean, with no evidence or suspects. 219 00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:27,070 How? - First... 220 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:30,657 I'd stick little tacks in his eyeballs, 221 00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:35,161 And then I'd rip the hair off his balls with packing tape. 222 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,080 That hurts like hell. 223 00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:41,376 And when he's lying there, naked and blind like a little baby bird, 224 00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:45,588 I'd drive a steam-roller over him, again and again. Back and forth. 225 00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:52,721 And when his entrails are flat and his intestines are bulging out, 226 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:56,850 I'd dissolve him with acid. I saw that on CSI once. 227 00:16:57,308 --> 00:17:00,729 Caustic, high-quality acid, till there's nothing left of him. 228 00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:04,065 Not even a little pile of shit! 229 00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:07,736 Holy crap! Pinch me! 230 00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:17,912 I said "pinch," you freak! - Oh, man! 231 00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:21,916 That's fuckface! 232 00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:24,586 I'm gonna beat him up! - He's mine! 233 00:17:25,086 --> 00:17:28,298 We'll go straight to jail if we whack him here. 234 00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:35,221 See you soon, Bluemel. 235 00:18:17,222 --> 00:18:19,724 The door's reinforced. - I'll do it, fool. 236 00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,769 That's how I do it too. - Sure. 237 00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:26,147 We're Jehovah's Witnesses. 238 00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:29,192 Hey, not so fast! 239 00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:37,909 Shut the hell up or I'll bite off your tongue, got it? 240 00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:43,414 Good, then we can begin. 241 00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:48,711 Do you know who we are? - He asked if you know who we are! 242 00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:55,301 What'? Take that thing out of his mouth. 243 00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:59,430 One wrong word and your Wiener is toxic waste! 244 00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:03,893 Podolski! Juergen Podolski! 245 00:19:04,394 --> 00:19:07,188 The fastest colt in West Germany! - Colt? 246 00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:09,399 How did you... 247 00:19:09,732 --> 00:19:13,278 I got every episode of Bullet & Podolski on DVD. Look! 248 00:19:13,945 --> 00:19:16,406 He's right! You're that actor! 249 00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:18,658 You're that actor! 250 00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:21,286 Okay. Yes, I am. 251 00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:23,204 What actor? 252 00:19:23,538 --> 00:19:26,958 Lukas Podolski! - The soccer player? -No! 253 00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:31,546 Commissar Juergen Podolski! How did I not realize it was you? 254 00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:34,966 We only talked on the phone. - I never watched it. 255 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:39,846 You were really famous. What happened? - I'm still an actor, yeah? 256 00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:43,725 I've got class. I turn down shitty jobs. - I have to say, 257 00:19:44,058 --> 00:19:47,812 you were much better than Bullet. - Bullet was a total phony. 258 00:19:48,271 --> 00:19:51,232 He went on to Hollywood. He was totally overrated! 259 00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:54,652 Season 3, episode 12: The Stripper, Drug Ring Crash. 260 00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:59,532 That was world class acting. - Yes, it was an intense period for me. 261 00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:02,327 I went undercover for four days to prepare. 262 00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:05,663 Yes, it was so authentic! Your talent is... 263 00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:10,251 Can we get back to the task at hand? - Let the man finish! 264 00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:13,338 "My talent is..." - Your talent is... 265 00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:16,549 "My talent..." Over here. "My talent is..." 266 00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:19,719 Oscar-worthy! Oscar-worthy! 267 00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:24,807 Tobias, I want you to know 268 00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:27,393 that this is your last day 269 00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:31,064 on planet Earth. I'm going to dissect you. 270 00:20:31,356 --> 00:20:33,107 Piece by piece. 271 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:36,611 And the last thing I'll do is cut off your balls, 272 00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:41,074 stick them in a jar and put them on the shelf with your collection. 273 00:20:41,241 --> 00:20:43,493 He's bluffing, right? - I think so. 274 00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:46,037 I'm innocent, really! I, I... 275 00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:50,792 I only wanted the best for my clients! I mean, I'm not perfect. 276 00:20:51,209 --> 00:20:55,213 Once I took a soda from the machine because it was lying there, 277 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:59,550 and I make nude drawings of my colleague, but that's it! 278 00:21:00,134 --> 00:21:02,053 What'? Yuck! 279 00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:04,138 Do you jerk off to them? 280 00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,599 At your desk? - No! That's sick! 281 00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:08,810 He winked! - I didn't wink. 282 00:21:08,977 --> 00:21:10,979 I saw it too. You must be lying. 283 00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:14,899 Oh, he did it again! - No, I didn't do anything! 284 00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:17,610 I really am a good guy! 285 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:19,988 I'm Tinkerbell, and that's Lady Di. 286 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:24,826 So, I've heard enough! Time to kiss your balls goodbye! 287 00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:41,217 You killed him! - What? I didn't touch him! 288 00:21:41,551 --> 00:21:44,637 You're my witnesses! The chair jumped with him on it! 289 00:21:58,026 --> 00:22:00,403 Does anybody know CPR? - Yeah. 290 00:22:01,154 --> 00:22:03,948 He can't breathe. Unbutton his shirt. 291 00:22:05,491 --> 00:22:07,327 Stop! Stop! Not naked! 292 00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:09,912 Don't undress me! 293 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:15,209 Do me a favor and just kill me quickly. I've lost everything as it is. 294 00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:17,712 What about us? - It wasn't me! 295 00:22:17,879 --> 00:22:20,715 The bank director sabotaged your accounts. 296 00:22:21,049 --> 00:22:25,470 Now it's your boss's fault? - Yes, he did it so he could fire me! 297 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:28,431 He didn't care if a few clients went bankrupt. 298 00:22:28,765 --> 00:22:31,142 I'll knock him out! - Not with us! 299 00:22:31,601 --> 00:22:35,521 If that's true, why don't you go to the police and tell them your version? 300 00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:37,857 Who will they believe? 301 00:22:38,024 --> 00:22:41,361 Schumacher, the director of 9 profitable German banks, 302 00:22:41,694 --> 00:22:44,113 or me? - The guy who spanks his monkey at work. 303 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:47,367 I didn't spank anything! - Of course you didn't. 304 00:22:47,533 --> 00:22:49,786 Come here, sit up. Nice and slow. 305 00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:53,581 You just said "profitable banks." How profitable are they? 306 00:22:53,956 --> 00:22:57,752 Baerenbank AG is worth about six billion. - What about in the bank? 307 00:22:57,919 --> 00:23:00,838 Is there a few million in the building every day? 308 00:23:01,172 --> 00:23:03,758 No, only on Fridays. Friday is "moving day." 309 00:23:03,925 --> 00:23:07,220 The money is moved to headquarters. - "Moving day!" 310 00:23:07,512 --> 00:23:10,848 "Moving day?" - They move the money, lazy eye! 311 00:23:11,182 --> 00:23:13,851 Can the three of us talk'? - It's hypothetical. 312 00:23:14,018 --> 00:23:16,646 Hypothetical? - So, what would happen 313 00:23:16,979 --> 00:23:19,148 if a few million went missing? 314 00:23:20,024 --> 00:23:24,821 The bank is insured for things like that. There would be an investigation. 315 00:23:25,029 --> 00:23:27,365 The police would come and ask questions. 316 00:23:27,698 --> 00:23:31,953 So no customers would lose any money? - No, it's not the Wild West. 317 00:23:32,286 --> 00:23:34,705 It'd be a crime with no victims. 318 00:23:35,790 --> 00:23:37,417 Boys, come with me. 319 00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:39,168 Now. 320 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:53,182 Are you actually considering this? - The means justifies the end. 321 00:23:53,516 --> 00:23:57,937 The end justifies the means, idiot! If it's robbing a bank, then it sucks! 322 00:23:58,104 --> 00:24:01,482 We lost our money to a corporation we invested in 323 00:24:01,858 --> 00:24:05,361 because we're losers! We're all losers! I sound like my dad! 324 00:24:05,528 --> 00:24:10,450 So get lost. A few million divided by two is way more than divided by three! 325 00:24:11,117 --> 00:24:13,369 Or is that wrong? - No, that's right. 326 00:24:13,536 --> 00:24:16,289 We have to give Tobias a cut. - The wanker? 327 00:24:16,456 --> 00:24:19,667 We need him. He knows the bank. He's our insider. 328 00:24:20,126 --> 00:24:23,004 If we really want to rob a bank we need to be a team 329 00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:26,174 where everyone has a role. The insider is the key! 330 00:24:26,716 --> 00:24:29,886 How would you know? - I've caught plenty of bank robbers! 331 00:24:30,094 --> 00:24:32,722 On TV, Mr Bullet & Podemski! On TV! 332 00:24:32,889 --> 00:24:36,350 His name is Commissioner Lukas Podolski! 333 00:24:36,767 --> 00:24:39,061 It's Juergen. - Whatever! 334 00:24:39,228 --> 00:24:42,064 Show him some respect, you little snot! 335 00:24:42,231 --> 00:24:44,525 This is bullshit. Total bullshit! 336 00:24:44,692 --> 00:24:47,862 You know what's bullshit? My family will have to scrape by. 337 00:24:48,196 --> 00:24:50,865 We'll eat canned ravioli every day 338 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,202 because some banker decided to fire that jerk-off! 339 00:24:54,368 --> 00:24:57,747 It's bullshit because I can't pay the fucking heating bill! 340 00:24:58,831 --> 00:25:02,919 I want what's mine. - I want my hard-earned money back. 341 00:25:03,085 --> 00:25:06,506 That's right, Chris. - Plus a little extra. 342 00:25:06,672 --> 00:25:11,052 For all the psychological stress. - Sure, we can take as much as we want. 343 00:25:11,385 --> 00:25:14,055 What's the deal? Are you in, or not? 344 00:25:14,972 --> 00:25:18,476 For the record, this whole thing makes me very, very nervous. 345 00:25:19,393 --> 00:25:21,729 Duly noted, Goldilocks. 346 00:25:27,902 --> 00:25:29,237 Hey, Tobi! - Hey! 347 00:25:29,570 --> 00:25:31,781 Time to wake up. - Come on out. 348 00:25:32,114 --> 00:25:34,992 Careful. - It's cozy in there, huh? 349 00:25:38,663 --> 00:25:40,665 Careful. 350 00:25:43,751 --> 00:25:46,254 Leave it on. - Nobody wants to undress you. 351 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,383 I just want to straighten your tie. - Tobi. 352 00:25:50,841 --> 00:25:53,135 Do you mind if I call you Tobi? 353 00:25:53,719 --> 00:25:57,890 You know, that bank really screwed you over. 354 00:25:58,140 --> 00:26:01,686 How'd you like to even the score? - And while you're at it, 355 00:26:01,894 --> 00:26:04,230 get yourself a sack full of money? 356 00:26:12,196 --> 00:26:14,365 When do we start? 357 00:26:14,991 --> 00:26:16,701 That's our Tobi. 358 00:26:20,371 --> 00:26:23,457 And you play poker? - Till our finger tips bleed. 359 00:26:24,375 --> 00:26:26,335 I've never seen them. 360 00:26:26,627 --> 00:26:29,213 You married a talented and well-loved man. 361 00:26:32,091 --> 00:26:34,552 Is my little honey bee jealous? - No way. 362 00:26:35,970 --> 00:26:37,805 It's just weird. 363 00:26:38,931 --> 00:26:43,728 We've been married 11 years, and I've never seen you play poker. 364 00:26:44,061 --> 00:26:46,105 Is it 11 years already? 365 00:26:46,397 --> 00:26:50,067 And you've been acting strange lately. - How so? 366 00:26:51,068 --> 00:26:54,071 Why did you ask the heating company for an extension? 367 00:26:56,157 --> 00:26:59,285 Okay, you got me. It was supposed to be a surprise. 368 00:26:59,619 --> 00:27:02,330 Our investment advisor... 369 00:27:02,747 --> 00:27:05,916 He's just incredible! He calls me two days ago and says 370 00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:08,961 the market is... going through the roof. 371 00:27:09,295 --> 00:27:11,922 We wait a few days, then: jackpot! It's great, right? 372 00:27:12,256 --> 00:27:13,299 Yeah, great. 373 00:27:17,094 --> 00:27:19,221 Are you hot? 374 00:27:22,058 --> 00:27:23,434 No. 375 00:27:26,646 --> 00:27:30,274 Okay, it's time for a nice round of Texas shuffle. 376 00:27:31,692 --> 00:27:34,278 You do know it's called Texas hold 'em, right? 377 00:27:34,487 --> 00:27:37,198 You do know smart asses get beat up, right? 378 00:27:37,365 --> 00:27:39,241 So, concentrate. 379 00:27:39,950 --> 00:27:42,036 Our bank. - Where'd you get that? 380 00:27:42,620 --> 00:27:45,081 City hall. - They just gave it to you? 381 00:27:45,456 --> 00:27:48,334 If the hot secretary is in your boxing course, 382 00:27:48,668 --> 00:27:51,295 and you really give it to her, she'll get it for you. 383 00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,216 Does it check out? - It looks right. 384 00:27:55,675 --> 00:27:57,760 Here's the plan: We storm in, 385 00:27:58,928 --> 00:28:02,014 kick the shit out of anybody who gets in our way, 386 00:28:02,348 --> 00:28:05,226 then we grab the cash. - That's brilliant! 387 00:28:05,559 --> 00:28:08,896 You make Einstein look like a retard! - Hey! 388 00:28:10,064 --> 00:28:13,484 Another wisecrack and Einstein will tack those locks to your ass! 389 00:28:13,859 --> 00:28:16,654 Your dentures are slipping. Look! -What? 390 00:28:17,196 --> 00:28:20,574 We'll need the code for the safe room. It changes daily. 391 00:28:22,034 --> 00:28:24,286 Excuse me? - Who's got the code? 392 00:28:24,620 --> 00:28:26,956 Ralf, he's the vice manager. 393 00:28:27,331 --> 00:28:29,333 That's his office. 394 00:28:30,459 --> 00:28:32,586 What does he look like? - You deaf? 395 00:28:32,962 --> 00:28:36,257 He's about 5 foot 8 inches, with a button nose, gray hair. 396 00:28:36,424 --> 00:28:38,300 About like this. 397 00:28:38,884 --> 00:28:40,720 He looks like a girl. 398 00:28:40,970 --> 00:28:43,180 Whatever. Here's the new plan: 399 00:28:43,472 --> 00:28:46,934 We storm in, kick the shit out of Ralf, get the code, 400 00:28:47,309 --> 00:28:49,353 and then we grab the cash. 401 00:28:50,104 --> 00:28:54,066 Every employee has am alarm button. If we storm in and crack heads, 402 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:57,737 they'll call the police. Maybe we should be more discreet. 403 00:28:58,070 --> 00:29:00,823 Fuck discreet! - Wait, first thing's first. 404 00:29:00,990 --> 00:29:03,868 We need our roles. - Keep that up and you'll get fat. 405 00:29:05,703 --> 00:29:07,538 Chris, you're the muscle. 406 00:29:08,497 --> 00:29:10,958 Tobias, you're the insider. 407 00:29:11,250 --> 00:29:14,211 As for me, I'm more of a strategist, 408 00:29:14,378 --> 00:29:16,380 so I should be your leader. 409 00:29:17,047 --> 00:29:20,092 Why? Because you're an actor? - Do you object'? 410 00:29:20,468 --> 00:29:23,763 I think some of us have real experience, but that's okay. 411 00:29:23,929 --> 00:29:28,517 My talents are always underestimated by men old enough to be my dad! 412 00:29:29,185 --> 00:29:33,272 I would've had to start pretty early... - No problem. Let's take a vote. 413 00:29:33,939 --> 00:29:36,525 Who wants me to be the leader? 414 00:29:40,529 --> 00:29:43,949 So, what's my role, great leader? - You drive the getaway car. 415 00:29:44,867 --> 00:29:47,787 No, forget it. Rocky can drive the getaway car. 416 00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:51,707 Why me? - You're belligerent and half blind. 417 00:29:52,082 --> 00:29:56,629 If you mess up and kill somebody, I'll get arrested for murder too. 418 00:29:56,962 --> 00:30:00,132 And unlike you guys, I've got my whole life ahead of me. 419 00:30:00,466 --> 00:30:03,093 Don't count on it. - Do you need glasses to drive? 420 00:30:03,469 --> 00:30:06,013 I don't have glasses. - I've got glasses. 421 00:30:06,222 --> 00:30:10,059 Okay, fine. But it's gotta go fast. I needed that money yesterday. 422 00:30:10,392 --> 00:30:14,605 We need to do our homework. First, we spy on the bank. 423 00:30:15,147 --> 00:30:17,983 I'll get the keys to the bathroom and the side entrance. 424 00:30:18,317 --> 00:30:21,654 Then we'll do a test run, and get tools: 425 00:30:21,821 --> 00:30:24,990 The getaway car, masks and guns. 426 00:30:26,325 --> 00:30:29,036 What'? I just binged on the first season 427 00:30:29,370 --> 00:30:31,705 of Bullet & Podolski again. Crazy! 428 00:30:32,039 --> 00:30:35,167 I never thought I'd be Podolski's partner. 429 00:30:35,918 --> 00:30:38,504 But we're not using real guns, right? 430 00:30:38,838 --> 00:30:42,174 No, we'll shoot water guns. - I think we need real guns. 431 00:30:42,508 --> 00:30:44,969 But we'll use blanks. 432 00:30:45,219 --> 00:30:46,804 Here goes. 433 00:31:00,568 --> 00:31:02,403 Morning, Ralf. 434 00:31:03,529 --> 00:31:07,324 11 o'clock. On the dot. - His bowel movements are like clockwork. 435 00:31:13,330 --> 00:31:15,541 11:00 - RALF IS TAKING A CRAP. 436 00:31:33,058 --> 00:31:35,185 Hey! Tobias! 437 00:32:20,898 --> 00:32:24,026 Susanne! - Repair service. 438 00:32:24,735 --> 00:32:27,738 You're an angel. When do you need it back? 439 00:32:27,947 --> 00:32:31,617 No rush. My husband hasn't played with his tools for years. 440 00:32:31,784 --> 00:32:35,120 He's too busy with his affairs. - Sounds like true love. 441 00:32:35,287 --> 00:32:38,624 I ignored the first affairs, but when they hit double digits 442 00:32:38,749 --> 00:32:41,126 I gave up on true love. 443 00:32:41,961 --> 00:32:43,796 Yeah. - Well? 444 00:32:44,254 --> 00:32:45,965 How about a quickie? 445 00:32:46,256 --> 00:32:48,634 I'd love to, but I can't today. 446 00:32:49,843 --> 00:32:52,304 This is more important. - ls everything okay? 447 00:32:52,638 --> 00:32:55,557 Sort of. Soon everything will sort of be okay. 448 00:32:56,684 --> 00:32:58,644 I have to get back. Bye! 449 00:33:04,817 --> 00:33:07,361 This is a bank robbery! 450 00:33:08,696 --> 00:33:10,990 Show me the money! 451 00:33:12,574 --> 00:33:15,285 Show me the money! Come on, people! 452 00:33:15,577 --> 00:33:17,579 Or I'll start shooting! 453 00:33:22,501 --> 00:33:26,088 It's okay! It's just a candy bar! COCOA BLASTER 454 00:33:33,554 --> 00:33:36,265 4 minutes, 16 seconds. - Damn, they're fast! 455 00:33:49,069 --> 00:33:50,696 Wow! Who's that? 456 00:33:51,572 --> 00:33:53,490 Dr. Elisabeth Zollner. 457 00:33:53,657 --> 00:33:56,118 I'd spar with her any day. 458 00:33:56,618 --> 00:34:00,164 She heads a bank robbery task force. She catches the big fish. 459 00:34:00,956 --> 00:34:03,709 How do you know? - She gives a course at the bank 460 00:34:03,876 --> 00:34:07,004 about professional conduct during bank robberies. 461 00:34:07,129 --> 00:34:12,301 She has perfect breasts. - I bet she makes you shake your Wiener. 462 00:34:15,304 --> 00:34:19,099 Say that one more time and I'll staple your ears to your balls. 463 00:34:19,516 --> 00:34:22,102 Wow! What happened to you? 464 00:34:22,311 --> 00:34:25,314 I like it! Respect! 465 00:34:28,650 --> 00:34:31,612 It was a false alarm. Just a bum with a candy bar. 466 00:34:31,945 --> 00:34:35,324 Close the bank. I need statements from all witnesses. 467 00:34:35,824 --> 00:34:39,078 Seriously? It was a candy bar! There must be 30 witnesses! 468 00:34:39,411 --> 00:34:43,791 She didn't ask for your opinion. - No one goes till they make a statement. 469 00:34:47,669 --> 00:34:49,838 Then your people stormed in, 470 00:34:50,631 --> 00:34:53,008 and that's all I saw. 471 00:34:53,759 --> 00:34:56,720 You look familiar. - Really? 472 00:34:57,346 --> 00:34:59,932 Is it possible I've seen you before? 473 00:35:00,849 --> 00:35:02,851 No, I don't think so. 474 00:35:03,769 --> 00:35:05,813 I doubt it, anyway. 475 00:35:06,146 --> 00:35:09,233 I guess I just have one of those faces. 476 00:35:10,192 --> 00:35:12,402 Did you deposit the money? - Pardon? 477 00:35:12,569 --> 00:35:15,072 You were leaving. Did you deposit the money? 478 00:35:15,906 --> 00:35:17,533 Yes. 479 00:35:18,575 --> 00:35:19,660 Thanks. 480 00:35:20,953 --> 00:35:22,579 Next. 481 00:35:23,831 --> 00:35:27,376 10, 15, 20... 482 00:35:33,048 --> 00:35:37,511 35, 40, 45. Hey, we said 50! 483 00:35:37,803 --> 00:35:40,681 45, 50... What difference does it make? 484 00:35:40,848 --> 00:35:43,308 I could ask the cops what difference it makes. 485 00:35:43,475 --> 00:35:46,019 Five more. Come on. - Listen up, crab louse. 486 00:35:46,186 --> 00:35:49,231 Take the cash and scram, or I'll give you five fingers! 487 00:35:49,398 --> 00:35:52,901 I'll beat the shit out of you! - Do you have to beat people up? 488 00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:56,655 I'm utilizing my talents. - Then why didn't you screw him? 489 00:35:56,822 --> 00:35:59,783 You think you're hot shit because you studied? 490 00:35:59,950 --> 00:36:02,995 What's your highest degree? A driver's license? 491 00:36:03,162 --> 00:36:05,873 I've got a masters from Heidelberg, so... 492 00:36:06,331 --> 00:36:09,501 Pull yourselves together. Just a few more days, 493 00:36:09,835 --> 00:36:13,005 and then we go our separate ways. Now shake hands. 494 00:36:13,172 --> 00:36:15,507 Shake hands. Both of you. 495 00:36:18,177 --> 00:36:20,345 Just rise above it. 496 00:36:21,847 --> 00:36:26,226 Luckily it was just a false alarm. - You can never be too sure. 497 00:36:26,518 --> 00:36:29,605 I'd like to see an overview of all teller transactions. 498 00:36:29,771 --> 00:36:31,773 Is that really necessary? 499 00:36:31,982 --> 00:36:35,152 Our client's privacy... - I don't want to know amounts. 500 00:36:35,319 --> 00:36:39,406 I want a list of who was here, and what transactions took place, okay? 501 00:36:47,414 --> 00:36:51,418 Tell me, Dr. Zollner... Do you mind if I call you Lizzy? 502 00:36:52,794 --> 00:36:55,505 I don't know when you're off duty, but... 503 00:36:55,631 --> 00:36:58,634 I know a cute Italian place. - Really? 504 00:36:59,801 --> 00:37:03,222 What a coincidence. I know a cute Italian too. 505 00:37:07,017 --> 00:37:08,769 Massimo? 506 00:37:10,938 --> 00:37:13,899 Would you accompany Mr Schumacher to his office? 507 00:37:29,122 --> 00:37:31,583 Hey, buddy. Want a Rolex? - Keep moving. 508 00:37:33,627 --> 00:37:35,087 Chris? 509 00:37:35,295 --> 00:37:38,173 Chris "Iron Fist" Hoffmann! Is it really you? 510 00:37:38,340 --> 00:37:42,803 Twiggy! Rolfi! I haven't seen you guys in forever! 511 00:37:43,220 --> 00:37:46,807 Not long enough for me to forget your ugly mug! 512 00:37:47,140 --> 00:37:50,435 What an ugly mug! - Yeah, I heard you were in prison. 513 00:37:50,894 --> 00:37:53,814 Three years in Moabit. 514 00:37:54,273 --> 00:37:57,901 But they were the best years of my life. - Mine too. It was great. 515 00:38:00,362 --> 00:38:02,322 We miss you. The old gang and all. 516 00:38:04,157 --> 00:38:05,909 What's new with you? - Yeah. 517 00:38:06,368 --> 00:38:07,744 Oh! 518 00:38:08,287 --> 00:38:12,749 I've got a new life, new future, new woman! I'm opening my own gym. 519 00:38:13,166 --> 00:38:15,127 Wow! - No shit! 520 00:38:15,294 --> 00:38:18,297 Chris is a real businessman, like us! - Right! 521 00:38:18,630 --> 00:38:20,090 Awesome! 522 00:38:31,393 --> 00:38:34,062 Why are we doing this here? - Long term parking. 523 00:38:34,271 --> 00:38:38,150 By the time they realize their car's been stolen, we'll be long gone. 524 00:38:38,817 --> 00:38:42,821 What happens if we find an unlocked car? - Then Tobias will hot-wire it. 525 00:38:44,323 --> 00:38:47,534 You know how to hot-wire a car? - You bet your ass, I can. 526 00:38:48,827 --> 00:38:51,872 I love the new Tobias. High five! 527 00:38:52,164 --> 00:38:54,207 What's that? - This? 528 00:38:55,167 --> 00:38:57,586 I tattooed it myself. It's Japanese for... 529 00:38:58,462 --> 00:39:00,589 "Universe." - "Universe?" 530 00:39:00,922 --> 00:39:03,175 How stupid is that? - Stupid? 531 00:39:04,009 --> 00:39:06,887 It's retarded to tattoo yourself. - Retarded? 532 00:39:07,054 --> 00:39:10,265 Are you deaf, Grandpa? It hurts, it's... - That's it. 533 00:39:10,432 --> 00:39:13,477 You've insulted me. I'm gonna rearrange your face. 534 00:39:13,643 --> 00:39:16,605 Give it a try, Grandpa. You'd better order a new hip. 535 00:39:16,772 --> 00:39:18,774 Stay still! Stay still! 536 00:39:20,275 --> 00:39:22,778 My crane is legendary. - Hey, I found one! 537 00:39:27,491 --> 00:39:30,702 Sorry! I thought we were fighting! - I've got Band-Aids. 538 00:39:31,078 --> 00:39:33,789 Can you guys focus for one second. Come on! 539 00:39:38,752 --> 00:39:41,797 When you said you knew how to hot-wire a car... 540 00:39:42,047 --> 00:39:45,092 He can do it. You've done it before, right? 541 00:39:47,219 --> 00:39:50,097 Technically, I've only seen it done. 542 00:39:50,430 --> 00:39:53,433 What'? Don't tell me you saw it on Bullet & Podolski! 543 00:39:53,809 --> 00:39:56,144 Oh, man! I take it all back! 544 00:39:56,395 --> 00:40:01,024 The new Tobias has a screw loose! - Hey, my screws are all... tight. 545 00:40:01,191 --> 00:40:04,194 Season 6, episode 3. - The one with the blonde secretary? 546 00:40:04,403 --> 00:40:08,782 No, the one with the transvestite's donor kidney in the trash compactor. 547 00:40:08,990 --> 00:40:12,119 Donor kidney? - I don't believe it! -Me neither! 548 00:40:12,327 --> 00:40:14,663 Hey, I did a hell of a job at the bank! 549 00:40:15,163 --> 00:40:18,208 Nobody believed in me! If I say I can do it, I can do it! 550 00:40:20,210 --> 00:40:22,754 I did it! I did it! - He did it! 551 00:40:22,921 --> 00:40:24,923 You did it! 552 00:40:25,757 --> 00:40:28,218 I told you he could do it! - I did it! 553 00:40:29,636 --> 00:40:31,680 CHECKOUT 554 00:40:36,643 --> 00:40:39,688 That'll be 87,50, please. - Sure. 555 00:40:39,855 --> 00:40:41,857 Do we have any money? 556 00:40:42,732 --> 00:40:45,402 I'll pay with my card. - No cards. 557 00:40:46,361 --> 00:40:49,448 They can trace it back to you. You can't use a card. 558 00:40:51,116 --> 00:40:52,451 One moment. 559 00:40:54,578 --> 00:40:57,956 What are we going to do? - Just smash through the barrier. 560 00:40:58,123 --> 00:41:01,501 She already saw my face. Please don't say you have to kill her. 561 00:41:02,002 --> 00:41:04,421 Can he read minds? - Any ideas, leader? 562 00:41:07,132 --> 00:41:09,301 Can you seduce her? - What? 563 00:41:09,468 --> 00:41:12,929 No, that's not my strong suit. I usually just crash and burn. 564 00:41:13,263 --> 00:41:16,933 Even better. Crash and burn as hard as you possibly can. 565 00:41:17,517 --> 00:41:19,936 Feed her your best line! - I don't have any. 566 00:41:20,270 --> 00:41:22,856 You don't have any? - He doesn't have any! 567 00:41:23,190 --> 00:41:25,692 Whatever, just do something! Go! 568 00:41:28,445 --> 00:41:30,489 Excuse me, 569 00:41:30,822 --> 00:41:34,534 would you have coffee with me? I mean, would you have sex with me? 570 00:41:34,993 --> 00:41:37,204 No, have coffee, but no sex? 571 00:41:37,704 --> 00:41:41,082 Unless you'd like to have sex. I have condoms. One condom. 572 00:41:41,708 --> 00:41:44,169 Do I need more than one? - Keep going! 573 00:41:45,253 --> 00:41:49,549 I won't leave here without a date. You can choose: coffee with sex, 574 00:41:49,883 --> 00:41:53,220 or without sex, or maybe with sex... 575 00:41:53,386 --> 00:41:55,555 Never park here again. 576 00:41:56,306 --> 00:41:58,308 Okay. 577 00:42:04,147 --> 00:42:06,274 We've got a getaway car! Hey! 578 00:42:08,026 --> 00:42:10,237 She didn't like me. - Sure she did! 579 00:42:10,403 --> 00:42:13,865 Didn't you see how she looked at you? - She wanted to marry you! 580 00:42:16,785 --> 00:42:20,121 Okay, here's the plan. At exactly 11:00, 581 00:42:20,622 --> 00:42:23,250 when code man Ralf goes to the bathroom 582 00:42:23,959 --> 00:42:26,503 to have a nice dump, 583 00:42:27,128 --> 00:42:29,923 Chris makes a scene in the lobby. 584 00:42:30,549 --> 00:42:33,176 I distract Laurel and Hardy from security: 585 00:42:33,343 --> 00:42:36,805 "Hey, you guys!" And they take me outside, 586 00:42:37,472 --> 00:42:41,518 in front of the bank. - I make my way over here and wait. 587 00:42:41,685 --> 00:42:45,355 While I make my way to the bathroom, to get the code 588 00:42:45,814 --> 00:42:48,191 from our little pooper, while Max... 589 00:42:48,567 --> 00:42:51,444 While I wait for Peter's signal. Do the signal. 590 00:42:54,447 --> 00:42:56,783 Hey, we're in a bank, not a forest! 591 00:42:57,450 --> 00:43:00,245 Whatever! I'll think of something else. - Okay. 592 00:43:00,412 --> 00:43:03,915 So, I wait for Max's signal. Do a signal. 593 00:43:04,291 --> 00:43:07,419 Let's go, buffalo! - Now that's a signal! 594 00:43:08,003 --> 00:43:11,423 I'll cuff Laurel and Hardy to the glass doors, 595 00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:15,552 and jump in the getaway car. - Then it goes really fast. 596 00:43:17,971 --> 00:43:20,098 I grab all the cash, 597 00:43:20,432 --> 00:43:23,018 and we leave through this side exit. 598 00:43:23,351 --> 00:43:26,646 Where I'll be waiting to escape with you into the urban jungle. 599 00:43:28,607 --> 00:43:32,152 And even if any of these bank idiots hits the alarm, 600 00:43:32,444 --> 00:43:35,155 we'll be in and out in less than 4 minutes. 601 00:43:35,989 --> 00:43:38,325 It's brilliant. It's brilliant! 602 00:43:39,034 --> 00:43:41,536 Is that good, or is that good? - It's double good! 603 00:43:44,706 --> 00:43:47,208 What about me? - What about you? 604 00:43:48,043 --> 00:43:50,337 Well, where am I? 605 00:43:50,795 --> 00:43:53,381 I don't even have a doll. 606 00:43:53,715 --> 00:43:57,218 You don't want me there. You jerks don't want me there! 607 00:43:58,637 --> 00:44:01,181 I'm the insider, damn it! 608 00:44:01,598 --> 00:44:05,060 I organized the car and the keys, and... - Calm down. 609 00:44:05,226 --> 00:44:08,063 It's not like that. - Then where's my doll? 610 00:44:09,064 --> 00:44:13,485 After we do the robbery, that task force chick... 611 00:44:13,902 --> 00:44:17,614 Zollner. - Then Zollner will show up. 612 00:44:17,989 --> 00:44:20,992 She'll go through her list of everyone with a motive. 613 00:44:21,368 --> 00:44:24,913 And who has a better motive than you? 614 00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:29,334 Am I supposed to just wait at home? - You need an airtight alibi. 615 00:44:29,751 --> 00:44:33,046 Throw a little party that day. - Sure, a party. 616 00:44:33,380 --> 00:44:36,549 I'm not exactly a party animal, if you haven't noticed. 617 00:44:36,883 --> 00:44:38,885 Don't sell yourself short! 618 00:44:39,344 --> 00:44:44,391 We need a place where lots of people see you, 619 00:44:44,808 --> 00:44:48,395 and testify they were with you at the time of the robbery. 620 00:44:52,023 --> 00:44:54,984 Or that you were with them. POPE VISIT 621 00:44:55,860 --> 00:44:59,155 Can someone please tell me what's going on here? 622 00:45:18,591 --> 00:45:19,718 JESUS GIVE ME STRENGTH 623 00:45:31,438 --> 00:45:33,481 SECURITY AND MONEY TRANSPORT 624 00:45:48,037 --> 00:45:50,206 Peace be with you, brother. 625 00:45:50,665 --> 00:45:52,792 I've seen him six times already. 626 00:45:53,001 --> 00:45:55,712 His voice speaks through me. 627 00:45:56,087 --> 00:45:58,131 Here, feel. 628 00:45:58,965 --> 00:46:01,760 Can you feel his energy flowing through me? 629 00:46:02,677 --> 00:46:04,763 Morning, Ralf. 630 00:46:04,929 --> 00:46:06,931 Is it 11:00 already? 631 00:46:09,851 --> 00:46:13,688 Death to banks! We're coming for our money! 632 00:46:14,189 --> 00:46:16,858 They take our hard-earned money, 633 00:46:17,108 --> 00:46:20,111 and wipe their white, capitalist asses with it! 634 00:46:20,278 --> 00:46:25,074 And their shit sticks to our money! Can't you smell it? 635 00:46:25,241 --> 00:46:29,454 Hey, fatty! Go away! I'm giving a lecture! 636 00:46:30,079 --> 00:46:33,833 It's a free country! Buy yourself a ticket by the entrance! 637 00:46:36,795 --> 00:46:38,963 Laurel and Hardy! 638 00:46:40,548 --> 00:46:43,802 Don't worry. The Holy Father is never late. 639 00:46:44,427 --> 00:46:46,471 He is ultimate perfection. 640 00:46:46,638 --> 00:46:50,225 The light of the sun in the firmament, as deep as the ocean... 641 00:47:33,142 --> 00:47:35,854 Ralf Niester, this is an armed robbery! 642 00:47:36,020 --> 00:47:39,440 Give me the code for the safe room. Now! - Dieter, is that you? 643 00:47:39,649 --> 00:47:41,776 Let me take a shit in peace! 644 00:47:50,451 --> 00:47:52,829 Yippie ki yay, motherfucker. 645 00:47:55,248 --> 00:47:57,166 The code. 646 00:48:05,300 --> 00:48:07,510 I can do it! I can do it! 647 00:48:07,677 --> 00:48:09,846 They're counting on me. 648 00:49:00,104 --> 00:49:02,273 Hey, fatty! 649 00:49:02,690 --> 00:49:05,026 Come and get me! 650 00:49:13,868 --> 00:49:15,870 Looking for this? 651 00:49:28,132 --> 00:49:30,468 Good night! 652 00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:39,477 Nobody move! - Everybody on the floor! 653 00:49:39,769 --> 00:49:41,688 Hands up! - Both hands! 654 00:49:42,021 --> 00:49:44,607 Freeze! - Lie down! 655 00:49:45,817 --> 00:49:48,027 We should've practiced. - I should go first. 656 00:49:48,361 --> 00:49:52,240 I have a trained voice. I can project. - I can do it just as well! 657 00:49:52,573 --> 00:49:55,660 Let's save the willie contest for later, got it? 658 00:49:55,994 --> 00:49:58,287 On the ground, people! 659 00:50:00,832 --> 00:50:02,709 This is a robbery! 660 00:50:14,887 --> 00:50:16,764 Where are the damn wires? 661 00:50:21,769 --> 00:50:23,771 Who are you? 662 00:50:31,946 --> 00:50:33,948 That's better. 663 00:50:39,037 --> 00:50:40,329 Motherfucker! 664 00:50:43,541 --> 00:50:45,668 If I hear even one peep, 665 00:50:47,420 --> 00:50:49,714 I might just... I said shut up! 666 00:50:53,092 --> 00:50:56,596 There was a sound. I heard it loud and clear... 667 00:50:58,723 --> 00:51:00,016 Huh? 668 00:51:05,146 --> 00:51:07,190 Everything's fine. 669 00:51:11,986 --> 00:51:15,114 Who's got the gun? Who's got the gun? 670 00:51:15,448 --> 00:51:16,699 I do! 671 00:51:19,952 --> 00:51:22,246 4-5-3-7-7... what? 672 00:51:23,956 --> 00:51:26,209 What'? - Seven. 673 00:51:26,876 --> 00:51:30,004 Seven? Three sevens? Are you sure? 674 00:51:38,221 --> 00:51:41,849 If I see one of you idiots even blink, 675 00:51:42,183 --> 00:51:46,020 then I'll introduce you to my gun, is that clear? 676 00:51:50,316 --> 00:51:53,236 This is a real gun! It can do a lot of damage! 677 00:51:57,782 --> 00:51:59,534 Shit! Fuck! 678 00:52:01,494 --> 00:52:03,204 Fuck! 679 00:52:03,663 --> 00:52:07,500 Did you know these are real bullets? - Let's discuss that later. 680 00:52:07,834 --> 00:52:11,295 You lied to me! - The blanks were sold out! Forget it! 681 00:52:11,629 --> 00:52:14,590 No, that's exactly why I wanted to be the leader! 682 00:52:16,008 --> 00:52:18,052 Houston, we have a problem. - What? 683 00:52:18,386 --> 00:52:20,805 If you're in here, who's out there? 684 00:52:21,973 --> 00:52:23,724 Oh, fuck! 685 00:52:42,535 --> 00:52:43,786 My fault. - Come on! 686 00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:47,498 I would've had it. - We've got 20 seconds! Go! 687 00:52:52,295 --> 00:52:53,295 Ten! 688 00:53:02,513 --> 00:53:04,140 Five! 689 00:53:15,693 --> 00:53:18,613 Where the hell is he? - No idea. 690 00:53:24,243 --> 00:53:26,287 Please, please, please! 691 00:53:31,209 --> 00:53:32,960 This can't be happening! 692 00:53:38,049 --> 00:53:39,050 Go! 693 00:53:40,718 --> 00:53:42,929 Oh, God! - I don't believe it! 694 00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:46,766 Shit, it stalled! - No! 695 00:53:46,933 --> 00:53:49,393 Chris, start it and drive! 696 00:53:51,062 --> 00:53:53,439 Get out and push! Go! 697 00:54:02,698 --> 00:54:04,242 Push! 698 00:54:25,179 --> 00:54:27,098 We are... 699 00:54:27,598 --> 00:54:31,477 rich! We're filthy rich! 700 00:54:34,105 --> 00:54:36,065 Watch out, idiot! 701 00:54:54,542 --> 00:54:58,504 If I ever see your ugly ass again... - Definitely. I understand. 702 00:54:58,671 --> 00:55:01,424 It was a stupid idea. It won't happen again. 703 00:55:14,395 --> 00:55:16,772 It looks like it was very well-prepared. 704 00:55:17,398 --> 00:55:20,609 The two bank robbers knew the bank had a lot of cash today. 705 00:55:20,776 --> 00:55:22,945 Three. - Pardon? 706 00:55:23,279 --> 00:55:26,157 There were three perpetrators. Write it down: 707 00:55:26,324 --> 00:55:28,534 Perpetrators: three. 708 00:55:29,493 --> 00:55:32,872 The two men with guns, and a third: the distraction. 709 00:55:33,372 --> 00:55:36,876 Probably also the driver. - We'll do a composite sketch. 710 00:55:37,043 --> 00:55:39,545 A waste of time. They wore disguises. 711 00:55:40,254 --> 00:55:43,799 How do you know? - If they knew about the money, 712 00:55:43,966 --> 00:55:46,677 they also knew about the hundreds of cameras. 713 00:55:46,844 --> 00:55:49,055 How much did they take? 714 00:55:50,973 --> 00:55:53,184 About 2.1 million. 715 00:55:55,770 --> 00:55:57,355 We'll get them. 716 00:56:15,623 --> 00:56:17,666 Shall we say a few words'? 717 00:56:19,794 --> 00:56:23,964 It was a good car. It wasn't the fastest, or most reliable, but... 718 00:56:26,217 --> 00:56:28,219 It burns! 719 00:56:32,765 --> 00:56:35,184 Okay, boys. Who's got the bags? 720 00:56:36,185 --> 00:56:38,187 I thought you had them. 721 00:57:08,092 --> 00:57:10,594 Okay, how much is it? 722 00:57:11,095 --> 00:57:13,097 At least two million. 723 00:57:13,347 --> 00:57:16,100 I wish I could've seen Schumacher's face! 724 00:57:16,267 --> 00:57:18,477 Gentlemen, to us. 725 00:57:18,644 --> 00:57:20,729 I've got to smell it first. 726 00:57:24,692 --> 00:57:26,735 That smells like... 727 00:57:26,902 --> 00:57:29,655 payback! - Yeah! 728 00:58:00,519 --> 00:58:03,355 This is better than jacking off! 729 00:58:06,484 --> 00:58:08,611 You have a Hitler stash! - What? 730 00:58:09,028 --> 00:58:11,697 You look like the fuhrer, man! 731 00:58:16,368 --> 00:58:18,621 What's wrong? Come on! 732 00:58:18,871 --> 00:58:21,123 Come on, dance! Dance! 733 00:58:24,752 --> 00:58:27,755 I think we have a tiny little problem. 734 00:58:29,798 --> 00:58:31,800 You've got something on... 735 00:58:32,384 --> 00:58:34,720 And on your... 736 00:58:46,315 --> 00:58:48,651 Can you all see? 737 00:58:51,654 --> 00:58:55,574 It may have been a surprise to you, but I was expecting a bank robbery. 738 00:58:55,741 --> 00:59:00,579 The homeless man who stormed the bank last week was a piece of the puzzle. 739 00:59:00,746 --> 00:59:03,582 That's why I had the bills in the safe marked. 740 00:59:04,625 --> 00:59:08,212 Hopefully the robbers will put the bills into circulation today. 741 00:59:08,379 --> 00:59:11,882 So we need to notify all banks, gas stations and businesses. 742 00:59:12,091 --> 00:59:15,511 If a toilet attendant collects a marked bill in the boondocks, 743 00:59:15,678 --> 00:59:17,888 I want to know about it. 744 00:59:18,264 --> 00:59:20,891 I was afraid we were dealing with pros, 745 00:59:21,350 --> 00:59:26,146 but pros don't argue and almost lose a gun to a civilian. 746 00:59:26,855 --> 00:59:30,192 They're amateurs. And right now they're nervous, 747 00:59:30,568 --> 00:59:32,903 insecure and desperate. 748 00:59:33,112 --> 00:59:35,364 And they're going mess up. 749 00:59:36,448 --> 00:59:38,492 There must be something. 750 00:59:39,159 --> 00:59:41,745 They always make a mistake. 751 00:59:45,624 --> 00:59:47,209 Stop. 752 00:59:47,835 --> 00:59:49,753 Zoom in on the wrist. 753 00:59:53,090 --> 00:59:56,719 What the hell is that? - That's the mistake. 754 00:59:58,345 --> 01:00:01,223 You get the cash but it's useless. 755 01:00:01,807 --> 01:00:05,561 I could've had my gym, and women for the rest of my life. 756 01:00:05,894 --> 01:00:09,523 I really feel like punching somebody. - Oh, yeah! 757 01:00:13,402 --> 01:00:15,821 It's not my fault. - You must've known! 758 01:00:16,155 --> 01:00:18,073 The bills are never marked. 759 01:00:18,240 --> 01:00:22,578 I didn't know they'd pull out the spray can the day we rob the bank! 760 01:00:23,621 --> 01:00:26,540 You don't have to broadcast it. 761 01:00:26,707 --> 01:00:30,377 We'll wait it out till the dust clears. - The dust isn't going to clear! 762 01:00:32,504 --> 01:00:37,009 Yes? Yes, I remember you, Dr. Zollner. 763 01:00:37,968 --> 01:00:39,970 How are you? 764 01:00:40,638 --> 01:00:44,558 Yes, I saw that on television. 765 01:00:48,145 --> 01:00:49,730 No problem. 766 01:00:52,232 --> 01:00:56,028 She wants me to answer a few questions. - We're all screwed! 767 01:00:56,195 --> 01:00:59,323 Calm down. Hey, it's fine. 768 01:00:59,823 --> 01:01:03,327 We knew this would happen. Tobias has 50,000 eye witnesses, 769 01:01:03,702 --> 01:01:05,996 including the pope. - Right, the pope! 770 01:01:06,163 --> 01:01:08,248 We have nothing to worry about. 771 01:01:12,795 --> 01:01:15,339 Could you hold one second? 772 01:01:15,714 --> 01:01:18,008 Fuck! It's Zollner! 773 01:01:18,175 --> 01:01:20,219 Why is she calling you? 774 01:01:22,429 --> 01:01:25,099 Yes, sorry about that. Yes? 775 01:01:26,016 --> 01:01:28,727 Yes, I heard it on the radio. 776 01:01:31,647 --> 01:01:33,607 Sure, no problem. 777 01:01:34,191 --> 01:01:36,318 I'm happy to help- 778 01:01:38,821 --> 01:01:41,699 You still think everything's okay? 779 01:01:41,865 --> 01:01:43,826 No way! 780 01:01:46,161 --> 01:01:48,580 She must have the wrong number. 781 01:01:51,083 --> 01:01:52,668 Yes? 782 01:01:53,502 --> 01:01:55,921 Yes, I saw it on the radio. 783 01:01:57,005 --> 01:01:58,048 Okay. 784 01:02:01,009 --> 01:02:03,679 Okay, then have a nice day. 785 01:02:29,913 --> 01:02:34,209 Sorry, guys. I'm sure everything will be fine. 786 01:02:39,548 --> 01:02:41,800 So, why do you streak naked? 787 01:02:42,342 --> 01:02:45,179 Like I said, because I'm depressed. 788 01:02:45,345 --> 01:02:49,975 So you streak naked in front of thousands of people and the pope? 789 01:02:50,434 --> 01:02:54,813 I got caught up in the moment. I had to feel the holy wind... 790 01:02:55,481 --> 01:02:57,691 on my naked, vulnerable body, 791 01:02:58,025 --> 01:03:00,778 whipping me, giving me solace. 792 01:03:02,196 --> 01:03:04,448 Do you know what I can't stand? 793 01:03:04,948 --> 01:03:07,618 When men like you take women like me for a fool. 794 01:03:07,951 --> 01:03:11,914 I don't take you for a fool. All I'm trying to say is 795 01:03:12,206 --> 01:03:17,002 I'm not the only man with this tattoo. - According to your file, 796 01:03:17,336 --> 01:03:20,547 you're a violent man who takes what he needs. 797 01:03:21,340 --> 01:03:26,136 Our video shows a man with your tattoo stealing 2.1 million euros. 798 01:03:26,929 --> 01:03:30,974 Doesn't that seem strange? You told me you made a deposit. 799 01:03:31,308 --> 01:03:33,185 Yes. - You lied. 800 01:03:33,852 --> 01:03:35,896 I was pretty rattled. 801 01:03:36,355 --> 01:03:38,941 That bum came storming in... - Rattled? 802 01:03:39,316 --> 01:03:41,819 I needed validation. 803 01:03:42,069 --> 01:03:44,112 Validation from the very top. 804 01:03:44,446 --> 01:03:48,116 And who's higher than the pope? 805 01:03:48,909 --> 01:03:52,246 You seem nervous. - May I have a glass of water? 806 01:03:52,830 --> 01:03:54,998 No. - Okay. 807 01:03:55,541 --> 01:03:57,417 Help me out. - Okay. 808 01:03:57,751 --> 01:04:01,338 If the bank fired me and I wanted to rob it to get my revenge, 809 01:04:01,797 --> 01:04:05,676 I'd find people to do the dirty work and make sure I had an air tight alibi. 810 01:04:06,176 --> 01:04:08,804 What are you trying to say? - Well... 811 01:04:09,221 --> 01:04:13,517 A bum storms into a bank. You're there, but don't make a deposit. 812 01:04:14,351 --> 01:04:18,897 Instead, you have the chance to see how long it takes the police to arrive. 813 01:04:19,273 --> 01:04:23,735 If you had any hard evidence against me, I'd be in handcuffs. 814 01:04:24,820 --> 01:04:27,281 You're right. We don't have hard evidence. 815 01:04:27,656 --> 01:04:29,533 You're free to go. 816 01:04:30,367 --> 01:04:32,786 Really? Thanks. 817 01:04:34,121 --> 01:04:35,873 One more thing. 818 01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:39,960 Do you know this man? 819 01:04:40,502 --> 01:04:41,545 No. 820 01:04:41,879 --> 01:04:43,922 When I said "no," I meant "yes." 821 01:04:44,548 --> 01:04:47,634 Then why did you say "no"? 822 01:04:48,802 --> 01:04:53,223 So you do know him? - Yes, but I haven't seen him in ages. 823 01:04:53,849 --> 01:04:56,143 Anything else? - No, that's all. 824 01:04:56,310 --> 01:04:59,229 You've been a great help. - Glad to hear it. 825 01:05:02,024 --> 01:05:04,443 Bullet & Podolski. 826 01:05:04,735 --> 01:05:08,113 In the bank you said you just had one of those faces. 827 01:05:09,239 --> 01:05:11,450 You lied about that as well. 828 01:05:12,367 --> 01:05:13,952 Right? 829 01:05:31,386 --> 01:05:33,430 Were you followed? - No. 830 01:05:33,764 --> 01:05:37,809 Why would anyone follow me? - You're our accomplice, you windbag. 831 01:05:38,268 --> 01:05:41,438 I'm taking you down with me. - That's enough! 832 01:05:41,730 --> 01:05:44,524 They'll only catch us if we use the cash. 833 01:05:44,733 --> 01:05:47,986 Should we just flush 2.1 million euros down the toilet? 834 01:05:48,320 --> 01:05:52,699 The bills are marked so they're useless. When do they stop looking for the cash? 835 01:05:53,116 --> 01:05:55,911 They stop looking when they catch the robbers. 836 01:05:56,954 --> 01:06:00,248 When Zollner has the robbers, they'll stop looking for the money'? 837 01:06:00,415 --> 01:06:05,295 All we have to do is frame someone else for the robbery. 838 01:06:06,296 --> 01:06:09,633 Bullet & Podolski. Season 2, episode 6. - No! 839 01:06:10,509 --> 01:06:13,136 Jog my memory. - The stolen Ferrari. 840 01:06:13,595 --> 01:06:16,640 They tried to frame the Mexican for it. - Yeah! 841 01:06:17,391 --> 01:06:21,144 That's it! The Mexican! That was a damn good episode. 842 01:06:22,145 --> 01:06:26,608 We just have get Zollner to think someone else did it. 843 01:06:26,942 --> 01:06:29,111 Heinrich Schumacher. - Who? 844 01:06:29,528 --> 01:06:33,740 Schumacher is a disgusting, heartless, greedy bastard, 845 01:06:34,032 --> 01:06:37,703 who's got access to the whole bank. Schumacher is our Mexican! 846 01:06:38,078 --> 01:06:41,248 But how do we convince Zollner? 847 01:06:41,456 --> 01:06:42,791 I've got it. 848 01:06:43,834 --> 01:06:46,128 She's single. - No! 849 01:06:47,504 --> 01:06:50,716 While Zollner was interrogating me she got a text message 850 01:06:50,924 --> 01:06:53,510 from Eternity. She's single and hunting. 851 01:06:55,262 --> 01:06:57,597 And we'll provide her with prey. 852 01:07:02,102 --> 01:07:04,813 Someone she doesn't suspect of bank robbery. 853 01:07:08,525 --> 01:07:09,776 Me? 854 01:07:11,194 --> 01:07:12,863 No! No! 855 01:07:14,031 --> 01:07:16,033 We're a team, Max. 856 01:07:16,366 --> 01:07:18,994 I'm not going to prison, got it! Count me out! 857 01:07:19,161 --> 01:07:21,913 What about the cash? - It's not worth it! 858 01:07:22,080 --> 01:07:25,208 Some of us can't just run back to daddy's checkbook! 859 01:07:25,375 --> 01:07:28,837 It's not like that. - You want your ass powdered with caviar! 860 01:07:29,004 --> 01:07:31,339 I earned every penny! Every penny! 861 01:07:31,673 --> 01:07:33,967 You gonna cry? - Don't make me kick you. 862 01:07:34,342 --> 01:07:38,180 You kicked me as I looked away. - I'll make sure you look this time. 863 01:07:38,513 --> 01:07:40,724 Okay, I'll look. - Okay. Come on! 864 01:07:43,268 --> 01:07:45,854 There's something on your nose. - Where? 865 01:07:50,067 --> 01:07:52,402 Want me to break your little arm? - Oh God! 866 01:07:52,694 --> 01:07:55,322 Okay, it's fine! - What? You give up? 867 01:07:56,198 --> 01:07:58,033 Should we intervene? 868 01:07:58,492 --> 01:08:00,368 I give up! Oh God! 869 01:08:00,577 --> 01:08:03,205 You're in this team till the day you die! 870 01:08:03,538 --> 01:08:05,540 Till I die, and beyond, okay? 871 01:08:05,832 --> 01:08:07,918 That wasn't so hard. 872 01:08:10,629 --> 01:08:12,631 Freddie? 873 01:08:14,049 --> 01:08:17,761 You're not writing. - No, I'm cooking your favorite meal. 874 01:08:19,304 --> 01:08:22,432 Come, have a taste. - That's great, thanks! 875 01:08:22,933 --> 01:08:24,309 Yummy! Yummy! 876 01:08:27,479 --> 01:08:29,106 I can explain. 877 01:08:29,231 --> 01:08:32,484 A poker club? Do you take me for a fool? 878 01:08:33,193 --> 01:08:36,488 How could you? You're in deep shit! 879 01:08:36,822 --> 01:08:40,742 Our girls could grow up without a dad! - I wasn't totally honest with you. 880 01:08:41,076 --> 01:08:44,246 I gambled with our savings a bit, but the bank messed up! 881 01:08:44,746 --> 01:08:47,791 It's the bank's fault now? - Yes, actually. 882 01:08:48,959 --> 01:08:52,170 That's just... unbelievable! 883 01:08:52,462 --> 01:08:55,090 How dare you! - Please stop. 884 01:08:55,549 --> 01:08:58,593 I know I messed up, but we just found a way 885 01:08:58,927 --> 01:09:03,682 to get off the hook, keep the cash, and blame it on a real bastard. 886 01:09:04,015 --> 01:09:06,434 How much money is in the bag? 887 01:09:09,187 --> 01:09:11,231 Two million. 888 01:09:19,447 --> 01:09:22,409 I know what you're going to say. - I'm so mad at you, 889 01:09:23,076 --> 01:09:26,997 and we'll discuss just how mad I am with a marriage counselor soon, 890 01:09:29,374 --> 01:09:31,668 but just tell me one thing: 891 01:09:31,877 --> 01:09:33,920 How can I help? 892 01:09:36,631 --> 01:09:39,843 How can I help so we can keep the money'? 893 01:09:42,637 --> 01:09:47,058 You think we can trust her? - Of course you can, you twits. 894 01:09:47,434 --> 01:09:51,354 If you're in trouble, so is my husband, and neither of us want that. 895 01:09:51,521 --> 01:09:54,191 We have to change the hair. - Give me a minute. 896 01:09:54,566 --> 01:09:58,403 So, take a look. - I volunteer at a soup kitchen? 897 01:09:58,570 --> 01:10:01,948 I've never done volunteer work. - Zollner's a woman and so am I. 898 01:10:02,115 --> 01:10:05,368 I know exactly what she wants to see on a dating profile. 899 01:10:06,161 --> 01:10:08,455 The other one. 900 01:10:08,997 --> 01:10:13,293 We can't use your last name, or she'll know you lost your money. 901 01:10:13,460 --> 01:10:16,796 Parted in the center? - Parted in the center? Maybe, yes. 902 01:10:17,005 --> 01:10:19,883 So, your profile name is: 903 01:10:20,217 --> 01:10:22,135 Mad Max. - What? 904 01:10:23,178 --> 01:10:26,848 And then maybe a dog. - A dog? 905 01:10:27,224 --> 01:10:29,684 A photo with a cute dog. - No. I'm allergic. 906 01:10:29,851 --> 01:10:31,770 A cat? - Come on. 907 01:10:32,103 --> 01:10:34,272 Yes, we need a cat. - I'm on it. 908 01:10:54,751 --> 01:10:58,630 OVERWORKED, UNDERRATED. MAKING MY DREAMS COME TRUE. 909 01:11:08,932 --> 01:11:11,685 Thursday night at 8:00? - 7:45. 910 01:11:11,851 --> 01:11:15,313 And you're sure Schumacher... - Every Thursday at 7:45. 911 01:11:15,480 --> 01:11:17,816 He'll take Heidi. - And his wife? 912 01:11:18,233 --> 01:11:20,986 She's at a charity event. 913 01:11:22,070 --> 01:11:24,906 She's coming! She said yes! 914 01:11:25,991 --> 01:11:30,870 We've got one chance. Let's do it right. - You think Heidi would like this? 915 01:11:31,746 --> 01:11:35,959 I gave that to you for our anniversary. - Relax, I know they're not real, 916 01:11:36,126 --> 01:11:40,422 but Heidi won't know. - They aren't? They were expensive! 917 01:11:51,891 --> 01:11:53,643 FROM A SECRET ADMIRER 918 01:11:54,060 --> 01:11:56,187 That's it? - That's it. 919 01:11:56,354 --> 01:11:58,857 You can handle that, right? - Yeah. 920 01:11:59,024 --> 01:12:03,695 And one of you needs to get this on your wrist. 921 01:12:03,945 --> 01:12:08,199 What does it mean? - It's Japanese for "universe." 922 01:12:10,160 --> 01:12:15,081 What if we have to describe the guy? - Yeah, then what? 923 01:12:16,916 --> 01:12:18,585 Wow! 924 01:12:19,294 --> 01:12:21,963 That's the best meal we've had in a while. 925 01:12:23,381 --> 01:12:26,801 We should do this more often. Get a babysitter, go out... 926 01:12:27,427 --> 01:12:30,472 Yeah, or rob a bank and frame a stranger. 927 01:12:31,765 --> 01:12:35,602 I'm really sorry. I should've told you the truth earlier. 928 01:12:35,852 --> 01:12:39,898 I was just too proud, or too stupid. 929 01:12:41,107 --> 01:12:44,319 Maybe this whole mess is a sign. - Yeah? 930 01:12:44,444 --> 01:12:47,155 A sign that it's time you finally get a new job. 931 01:12:47,906 --> 01:12:51,117 A reliable job. - Wait a minute. I'm an actor! 932 01:12:51,951 --> 01:12:54,579 Dustin Hoffman taught me. Not directly, but... 933 01:12:54,913 --> 01:12:58,083 It's show time. - What? 934 01:13:02,212 --> 01:13:04,672 Welcome. May I take your coat? 935 01:13:05,006 --> 01:13:07,926 But of course. - Enjoy your meal. 936 01:13:08,718 --> 01:13:10,762 Thanks. - We will. 937 01:13:14,724 --> 01:13:17,936 Pardon me. - Watch it! Wait a minute. 938 01:13:18,770 --> 01:13:21,314 Is this yours? - I'm sorry. 939 01:13:22,065 --> 01:13:24,317 Gloves? - Pardon my husband. 940 01:13:24,651 --> 01:13:27,278 He's such a klutz. - I see. 941 01:13:27,570 --> 01:13:31,157 The prices here can give you the jitters. 942 01:13:49,676 --> 01:13:52,429 How did it go? - It was a piece of cake. 943 01:13:53,138 --> 01:13:54,931 Here. Careful. 944 01:14:11,364 --> 01:14:13,491 Elisabeth? Hi, I'm... 945 01:14:14,576 --> 01:14:18,329 Mad Max. - Yes, Max. 946 01:14:21,541 --> 01:14:24,043 This is my first internet date, so... 947 01:14:25,712 --> 01:14:28,631 You look enchanting. - Thanks. 948 01:14:28,923 --> 01:14:30,925 You're welcome. 949 01:14:31,968 --> 01:14:33,511 Oh, yeah. 950 01:14:34,929 --> 01:14:36,931 There you go. 951 01:14:45,023 --> 01:14:48,193 Is everything okay? - Yes, everything's fine. 952 01:14:48,401 --> 01:14:50,862 I know that man. 953 01:14:58,912 --> 01:15:01,998 A glass of champagne? - A bottle. 954 01:15:24,270 --> 01:15:26,981 If anything happens, I'll call your cells. 955 01:15:27,148 --> 01:15:28,274 Okay. 956 01:15:34,239 --> 01:15:36,699 What's with the necklace? 957 01:15:37,158 --> 01:15:40,036 I'd like to thank my secret admirer. - Admirer? 958 01:15:42,413 --> 01:15:46,167 I'll be sure to let him know. - Are you role playing? 959 01:15:47,585 --> 01:15:50,964 That's hot. You're not my secret admirer. 960 01:15:52,298 --> 01:15:56,302 You're my gardener. And I'm a stripper. 961 01:15:56,970 --> 01:16:00,265 Who desperately needs someone to water her bush. 962 01:16:06,521 --> 01:16:08,606 His wife is much younger. 963 01:16:09,482 --> 01:16:12,610 She's not his wife. She's one of his employees. 964 01:16:18,157 --> 01:16:21,119 I know him from the news! Didn't his bank get... 965 01:16:23,329 --> 01:16:27,208 Not so loud. - Sorry. Why not? 966 01:16:28,376 --> 01:16:30,712 I'm investigating the case. 967 01:16:33,214 --> 01:16:35,508 Um... Are you a police officer? 968 01:16:36,134 --> 01:16:37,135 Yes. 969 01:16:41,472 --> 01:16:44,642 I head a bank robbery task force. 970 01:16:45,059 --> 01:16:49,647 Okay, that's heavy. - It's okay if you run. Most men do. 971 01:16:50,815 --> 01:16:52,817 Why would I? - Who knows. 972 01:16:53,151 --> 01:16:55,820 My profession seems to irritate men. 973 01:16:56,279 --> 01:17:01,284 Well, I think it's, as my mom would say: sexy. 974 01:17:01,409 --> 01:17:03,953 With a soft "S"? - Zexy. 975 01:17:04,662 --> 01:17:06,623 Z- Zexy? - Yeah. 976 01:17:24,766 --> 01:17:26,893 Where'd you learn that? 977 01:17:27,060 --> 01:17:30,021 I had an eventful adolescence. - Fine with me, 978 01:17:30,355 --> 01:17:32,732 as long as the alarm doesn't go off. 979 01:17:39,656 --> 01:17:41,824 Rocky Balboa! - Good work! 980 01:17:42,909 --> 01:17:45,995 Touch my ass again and you're toast. - Got it. 981 01:17:48,831 --> 01:17:51,334 I always played detective as a kid. 982 01:17:51,501 --> 01:17:52,710 See? 983 01:17:55,296 --> 01:17:59,384 Thanks, but I'll have to stop because you can't understand me. 984 01:17:59,550 --> 01:18:01,844 Yeah. - Okay, I'll concentrate. 985 01:18:02,011 --> 01:18:04,347 I'll take a guess. 986 01:18:06,391 --> 01:18:09,727 Oh yes, the man appears to have blood on his fingers. 987 01:18:11,354 --> 01:18:14,315 Or is that just his lover's lipstick? 988 01:18:15,233 --> 01:18:17,902 No, he's definitely guilty. - Really? 989 01:18:18,236 --> 01:18:20,113 Nice try. 990 01:18:20,655 --> 01:18:24,701 Yeah, but bank director, bank robber. Aren't they the same in the end? 991 01:18:24,826 --> 01:18:26,953 They are tonight, yes. 992 01:18:27,161 --> 01:18:30,748 But seriously, did you ever consider it? - What? 993 01:18:30,915 --> 01:18:34,711 In every good murder mystery, the most unlikely suspect 994 01:18:35,086 --> 01:18:37,380 is the most likely suspect. 995 01:18:37,797 --> 01:18:39,716 But what do I know? 996 01:18:41,592 --> 01:18:46,347 All I know is, I'd have to rob a bank to give a girl a necklace like that. 997 01:18:47,807 --> 01:18:49,767 More champagne? 998 01:18:53,771 --> 01:18:56,065 It's just a thought. 999 01:18:57,942 --> 01:19:01,446 What about carpentry? You've got a talent for furniture. 1000 01:19:02,280 --> 01:19:05,408 Remember the doll house you built for the girls? 1001 01:19:07,118 --> 01:19:09,746 Would you ask a heart surgeon to sell shoes? 1002 01:19:10,037 --> 01:19:13,166 Or ask an astronaut to make sausages? 1003 01:19:14,584 --> 01:19:17,086 You can't compare heart surgery to acting. 1004 01:19:17,253 --> 01:19:20,006 Of course not. Acting takes years of training. 1005 01:19:38,691 --> 01:19:40,151 OFFSHORE BANKING 1006 01:19:50,953 --> 01:19:51,953 Shit! 1007 01:19:58,085 --> 01:20:00,338 Are you okay? - I... 1008 01:20:00,922 --> 01:20:02,924 swallowed my chewing gum. 1009 01:20:03,466 --> 01:20:05,218 Car. 1010 01:20:11,432 --> 01:20:13,017 Oh, shit! 1011 01:20:13,184 --> 01:20:15,311 Shit, shit, shit! 1012 01:20:19,315 --> 01:20:22,235 Okay, I understand. The thing is... 1013 01:20:22,944 --> 01:20:25,154 Chris can't move. 1014 01:20:25,488 --> 01:20:27,114 He can't move! 1015 01:20:34,789 --> 01:20:37,667 Crap! Hey, you have to get up! - I can't! 1016 01:20:38,125 --> 01:20:40,962 I think I'm paralyzed. Oh, God, I'm paralyzed! 1017 01:20:41,462 --> 01:20:43,673 I'll never fuck again! 1018 01:20:44,006 --> 01:20:46,551 It's not that bad, trust me. - Not that bad? 1019 01:20:46,759 --> 01:20:48,594 Can you feel this? 1020 01:20:50,805 --> 01:20:53,766 Heinrich? - Good, you're not paralyzed. It's shock. 1021 01:20:56,060 --> 01:20:59,522 I'll help you out of here, okay? On three. One, two... 1022 01:20:59,856 --> 01:21:00,856 three! 1023 01:21:34,515 --> 01:21:37,435 Holy shit! Suzanne! 1024 01:21:38,019 --> 01:21:39,770 Chris! 1025 01:21:41,647 --> 01:21:44,567 You're Mrs Schumacher? - Last time I checked. 1026 01:21:44,984 --> 01:21:48,154 God, was that a 7 iron? - A 5 iron. Too much swing? 1027 01:21:49,030 --> 01:21:52,783 I didn't feel a thing. - Can you tell me why you're in my house? 1028 01:21:52,992 --> 01:21:55,411 It's a long story. - Do I want to hear it? 1029 01:21:58,706 --> 01:22:02,835 Once you said you wanted your husband to disappear. 1030 01:22:03,336 --> 01:22:05,504 I that still true? - More than ever. 1031 01:22:05,963 --> 01:22:08,591 Very good! Then you never saw me. 1032 01:22:09,091 --> 01:22:11,135 I was never here, okay? 1033 01:22:11,302 --> 01:22:14,013 Just trust me. I'll see myself out. 1034 01:22:20,061 --> 01:22:22,980 What took so long? - I was having a conference. 1035 01:22:23,314 --> 01:22:25,274 A conference? 1036 01:22:31,530 --> 01:22:34,241 What happened? Are you guys okay? 1037 01:22:36,535 --> 01:22:39,622 Mission accomplished. I'll explain later, okay'? 1038 01:22:41,207 --> 01:22:43,209 You okay? - Yeah. 1039 01:22:43,292 --> 01:22:46,337 When I was 18 I told my father 1040 01:22:46,837 --> 01:22:50,383 I'd never accept another cent from him, and I haven't. 1041 01:22:50,549 --> 01:22:53,511 Did he accept that? - No. 1042 01:22:54,178 --> 01:22:58,224 He hated it. His money was like a leash he used to control me. 1043 01:22:58,849 --> 01:23:01,394 But I wanted... to be free. - To be free. 1044 01:23:01,769 --> 01:23:04,563 I know about that. This is where I live. 1045 01:23:10,528 --> 01:23:13,990 I'm sorry for how I acted tonight. It was just... 1046 01:23:14,156 --> 01:23:16,701 Terrible. - Yes, terrible. 1047 01:23:17,034 --> 01:23:21,163 I just haven't been on a date in so long, and I needed some liquid courage. 1048 01:23:27,420 --> 01:23:30,172 It was a great night. - I think so, too. 1049 01:23:31,590 --> 01:23:35,011 Let's do that again. - The date? 1050 01:23:36,429 --> 01:23:39,181 Or the kiss, maybe? - Yeah, maybe. 1051 01:23:54,530 --> 01:23:56,949 We've got them. - Who? -The bank robbers. 1052 01:23:57,366 --> 01:24:02,329 Marked bills were used at a gas station, and one of the guys has a wrist tattoo! 1053 01:24:02,830 --> 01:24:05,791 The Japanese symbol for "universe." - Yes! 1054 01:24:10,838 --> 01:24:14,300 When did the robbery occur? - The Friday before last. 1055 01:24:14,842 --> 01:24:18,429 The Friday before last. - Why did you choose that day? 1056 01:24:22,266 --> 01:24:25,519 "Moving day" is a term only used by bank employees. 1057 01:24:26,353 --> 01:24:29,899 Did someone give you insider information? - Yes. 1058 01:24:30,775 --> 01:24:31,942 Yes. 1059 01:24:35,821 --> 01:24:38,157 Is it this man? - Him? 1060 01:24:38,532 --> 01:24:40,701 I've never seen him before. - No. 1061 01:24:44,455 --> 01:24:46,665 Then who is it'? 1062 01:24:50,711 --> 01:24:52,713 Who is the insider? 1063 01:24:55,132 --> 01:24:57,426 Heinrich Schumacher. 1064 01:25:05,935 --> 01:25:09,522 What do you think you're doing? - I have a search warrant. 1065 01:25:10,314 --> 01:25:14,401 Like hell, you do! I play golf with the senior prosecutor. 1066 01:25:14,568 --> 01:25:18,155 I think I'll give him a call! - Do that. Call him. 1067 01:25:18,405 --> 01:25:21,367 He signed the warrant. - Dr. Zollner? 1068 01:25:21,617 --> 01:25:24,161 You'd better take a look at this. 1069 01:25:29,166 --> 01:25:33,170 Just a minute! I've never seen this bag in my life! 1070 01:25:33,754 --> 01:25:37,174 Were you planning on taking a trip? - Me? No. Why do you ask? 1071 01:25:37,383 --> 01:25:40,010 Those passports don't belong to me! 1072 01:25:40,136 --> 01:25:42,513 We'll see about that. - But... 1073 01:25:45,182 --> 01:25:50,187 Allegedly, Schumacher, who directs one of Germany's most successful banks, 1074 01:25:50,396 --> 01:25:54,859 was found in possession of 1,7 million euros and forged passports. 1075 01:25:55,067 --> 01:25:58,028 A source from the Berlin police force has confirmed 1076 01:25:58,195 --> 01:26:01,740 that Schumacher had contacted several offshore banks 1077 01:26:01,866 --> 01:26:04,326 in an attempt to launder the money. 1078 01:26:04,493 --> 01:26:08,455 Schumacher and his two accomplices face long jail sentences. 1079 01:26:11,333 --> 01:26:13,252 A NEW MAIL FROM MAD MAX. 1080 01:26:14,044 --> 01:26:17,673 WE HAD SUCH A WONDERFUL EVENING. CAN WE MEET AGAIN? YOURS, MAX 1081 01:26:25,222 --> 01:26:27,558 Excuse me. What do you think? 1082 01:26:27,766 --> 01:26:30,603 Should we keep looking for the missing money? 1083 01:26:30,769 --> 01:26:33,522 No, it's an insurance case now. 1084 01:26:33,856 --> 01:26:37,943 I've got orders from the top. We lack the manpower to keep looking. 1085 01:26:38,194 --> 01:26:39,737 Okay. 1086 01:27:19,443 --> 01:27:21,445 What's that? 1087 01:27:22,446 --> 01:27:25,574 No, I couldn't possibly... - No discussion. 1088 01:27:26,742 --> 01:27:28,911 That's your cut. 1089 01:27:29,078 --> 01:27:32,248 Really, I can't. - Tobias, we're a team! 1090 01:27:33,082 --> 01:27:35,251 Okay? - Come on. 1091 01:27:35,417 --> 01:27:37,544 To us. - To the team. 1092 01:27:37,711 --> 01:27:39,546 To the team. 1093 01:27:41,632 --> 01:27:44,260 It's a nice place, huh? 1094 01:27:44,593 --> 01:27:48,222 Schumacher's getting his balls welded to his ass in jail right now! 1095 01:27:48,639 --> 01:27:51,308 Karma! - I knew a girl named Karma. 1096 01:27:51,517 --> 01:27:54,895 She was a stripper. What a babe! Even you'd get naked for her! 1097 01:27:55,062 --> 01:27:58,357 A stadium and the pope saw me naked. I don't care anymore. 1098 01:27:59,024 --> 01:28:03,362 You know what? We're like the... 1099 01:28:03,821 --> 01:28:07,700 The Magnificent Four. - "The Magnificent Four"? Really? 1100 01:28:08,033 --> 01:28:10,536 Not you, wimp. I count twice. 1101 01:28:10,911 --> 01:28:14,081 You always have to count twice. What's that over there? 1102 01:28:14,415 --> 01:28:16,166 Where? - Look! 1103 01:28:22,965 --> 01:28:26,885 Okay, got it. Okay, I will. Elizabeth? 1104 01:28:27,553 --> 01:28:30,556 Start filling the bathtub, okay? 1105 01:28:30,723 --> 01:28:33,851 Ok, sweetie. Bye-bye. So, guys, see you next week. 1106 01:28:35,894 --> 01:28:38,897 Oh, Elisabeth gave a talk at Imperial Bank today. 1107 01:28:40,566 --> 01:28:44,445 She said the bank is full of arrogant con artists. 1108 01:28:45,237 --> 01:28:48,240 Compared to them, Schumacher's the Dalai Lama. 1109 01:28:48,407 --> 01:28:52,578 How is he a lama? - You mean as far as karma goes... 1110 01:28:53,078 --> 01:28:55,414 They're um... 1111 01:28:55,956 --> 01:28:57,958 due for a withdrawal? 1112 01:29:00,294 --> 01:29:04,340 What's that supposed to mean? - Nothing. -Nothing at all... 87837