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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:06,676 (Door shuts) 2 00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:09,228 - (Stuart) Do you want a drink? - (Remote bleeps) 3 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:11,390 - (Man) What have you got? - Everything. 4 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:13,436 l'll have a whisky. 5 00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:18,235 Must be nice, living on Canal Street. 6 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:21,390 lt saves time. 7 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,955 l've seen you round. Are you two a couple or what? 8 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:29,873 No. We go back years. We were in school. 9 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:31,916 So is this what you do then - 10 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,956 threesomes? 11 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:36,349 - First time. - At your age? 12 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:38,556 First time together. 13 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:43,111 lf you two want to shag, l'm not just an extra cock, if you know what l mean. 14 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,829 Thing is, if he gets his kit off, l'm just gonna be laughing. 15 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:49,070 (Stuart) That's good sex. 16 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:17,789 - Not much happening down there. - Give it time. 17 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:52,350 - (Mobile phone) - Oh, sorry. Didn't switch it off. 18 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:55,312 Hello? 19 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:59,313 Oh, my God. When did that happen? 20 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:02,997 (Sighs) Gotta go. 21 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:06,030 So, what did they do? 22 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:10,829 lt's my neighbour. Someone's broken in downstairs. 23 00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:13,150 Yeah, l'm coming now. 24 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:16,555 l'll have to check the flat. 25 00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:18,710 Fuck off, then. 26 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:56,316 (Distant siren) 27 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,070 (Quiet music, chatting) 28 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:14,868 - Hey, how you doing, love? - Jimmy Clifton, you owe me a tenner. 29 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:18,999 - Oi, it's women on Tuesdays. - Don't tell me, tell your wife. 30 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:23,596 - Nice leathers, Hazel, must be boiling. - lt's like a sauna in here. 31 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:30,277 - Stuart Alan Jones. - (Man) Jesus. 32 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:32,715 You have a wank, l'll get the coffee. 33 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:37,190 Hazel Tyler and guest. 34 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,030 Vincent Tyler and guest. 35 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:45,232 - Who's he gonna take instead of you? - No, no chance. 36 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:49,359 His sister's wedding, though. You know what he's like in front of that lot. 37 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:52,273 - Yeah, l do, a twat. - So go with him. 38 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:56,795 lt's a big do, loads of people. You're not gonna look like a couple, 39 00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:59,075 if that's what bothers you. 40 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:04,589 They've found Nathan. 41 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:06,796 Nathan who? 42 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:12,119 That's not all l've been told. 43 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:15,875 Three of you last night. Three of you left the club. 44 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:19,077 You, Vince and the shag, everyone's saying. 45 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:20,878 So? 46 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,952 Do us all a favour - cut out the middle man. 47 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:31,594 We've got the same dad. He married this woman, Yvonne. l was about six. 48 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:35,719 - She's loaded, Yvonne. She sells boats. - What's the sister called? 49 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,597 - Judith. - Oh. 50 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:41,434 There's a woman down our road getting married. She's not called Judith. 51 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:43,670 - (Rosalie) Do you get on? - Hardly know her. 52 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:47,992 - Why's that, then? Bad blood? - No, she lives in Macclesfield. 53 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:52,232 Er, if you're in the pub after work, there's a couple of drinks on me. 54 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:56,836 Sally's going to be there. We're celebrating. We've just got engaged. 55 00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:58,512 Pass the word round. 56 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,994 Wedding fever. Clever little bastard. 57 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:08,113 You know Sally out of marketing? We're engaged. 58 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:19,230 l'll bet you he gets that job instead of me. 59 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:22,790 Cos he gets married - mortgage, kids, kitchen extension - 60 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:24,359 and the company loves it. 61 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:26,670 He might as well marry the shop. 62 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,797 lt's promotion guaranteed and he knows it. Bastard. 63 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:32,872 Who gives a shit? lt's a supermarket, Vince. 64 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:36,873 - 'Thanks very much.' - You don't mind? l'll be back by three. 65 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:40,236 - Try and make it two, will you? - (Whispers) Good boy. 66 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:42,914 Oh, yeah. They've found Nathan. 67 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:46,993 'Nathan who? Guess where Graham and Sally first met?' 68 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:50,436 Church. They took communion, side by side. 69 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:53,239 Just the games. Don't mess with my work stuff. 70 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:56,835 - OK. - Right, don't make a mess. 71 00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:59,480 Thanks a million. lf that's Vince, say hello. 72 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:02,279 - That's Marie. She says hello. - Hiya. 73 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:05,193 'l've got the kids, it's taking her forever to move.' 74 00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:08,511 - Personal call? - No, it's the distributors. 75 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,830 Right, l'll be in touch. Thanks. 76 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:13,309 There's a memo on its way. 77 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,470 Your interview's on the 14th. 78 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:18,996 We've narrowed it down to two. Yourself and Graham. 79 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,594 Marvellous news about the engagement. 80 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:24,114 Oh, l was chuffed to bits. 81 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:28,432 l thought the company could pay for drinks tonight. Make it a bit of a party. 82 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:31,671 Mind you, it's a party every night for you lot. 83 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:37,114 - Uncle Stuart? - Don't call me ''uncle''. 84 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,191 Old men are called ''uncle''. 85 00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:43,751 This boy at school, he's selling all his Tomb Raider stuff. 86 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:46,518 25 quid. 87 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:48,875 l thought l gave you a tenner last week. 88 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:53,390 lt's good, this, l like Big Cock City. 89 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,473 Nan and Grandad don't know, do they? 90 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,028 You're a poof and they don't know. 91 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:11,839 25 quid or l'm telling. 92 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:16,470 - Benjamin, do you want chips? - Yeah! 93 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:27,232 Go to McTucky's on the corner and get us some chips, whatever you want. 94 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:29,276 My treat. 95 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:32,033 That's 25 quid. lt won't cost that much. 96 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:33,599 - Keep the change. - l'll go with him. 97 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:36,752 - No, you won't. - l'll get millions of chips. 98 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:48,273 Get off me! Get off me! 99 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:50,351 Get off me! No! 100 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,557 No! No! Get off me! 101 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,756 Get off me! 102 00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:59,991 - (Toilet flushes) - 25 quid of this, you fucker. 103 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,597 Now clean yourself up, we've got chips on the way. 104 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,638 You're gonna pay. You're so gonna pay. 105 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:18,438 l want 50 quid. 106 00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:20,829 A week, every week. 107 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,912 Thomas. You've lost, now give it a rest. 108 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:29,120 l'm telling my dad, cos he wants access. My mum won't let him have access. 109 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,475 Cos he's going to court. 110 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,676 l'm telling him you touched me. 111 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:36,638 Just then. You bloody touched me! 112 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,678 You pervert! You bloody pervert! 113 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:43,108 l want 50 quid. 114 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,555 No, make it 100 quid. 115 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:52,998 (Door slams) 116 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:56,878 & We're gonna use it up We're gonna wear it out 117 00:08:56,960 --> 00:09:00,919 & Ain't nothing left in this whole world l care about... & 118 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:04,470 You've been on answerphone all day. What've you been up to? 119 00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:06,596 Nothing special, you know? 120 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,716 Same old stuff. 121 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:13,112 - What we doing? - Start off in the Union? Same old stuff. 122 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:15,589 (& Rick Astley: Never Gonna Give You Up) 123 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:19,798 Oh! Rick Astley. l love this. l used to fuck toilet rolls thinking of him. 124 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:23,031 - lt was Tommy Steele for me. - Little White Bull. 125 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:26,829 l remember you dribbling in front of Dukes Of Hazzard. 126 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,309 l thought, ''He's not looking at Daisy Duke.'' 127 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:31,709 l wanted to shag the second Dukes of Hazzard. 128 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:33,950 l fancied Boss Hogg. 129 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:37,350 (Hazel) When it finished, you were off to the toilet. 130 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,954 - Mum! - You can fancy them all you want 131 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:42,270 but l've shagged someone famous. 132 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:45,750 - No! Who? - (All) Who? 133 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:49,435 - Hiya. - Piss off, Anakin Skywalker, we're busy. 134 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:54,469 Who, you bastard? You're not moving back to Hazel's, that room's mine. 135 00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:57,233 - Did you miss me? - Have you been somewhere? 136 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,630 Who was it? You never told me. 137 00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:07,159 - You're kidding. - No. 138 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,549 Did he still have the puppet? 139 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,676 lrene Lonsdale, look at you. 140 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,716 (Hazel) Did you leave your friend lap dancing in London? 141 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:17,438 Her mum won't let her out 142 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:21,115 and she's making her change classes, like it's all my fault. 143 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:24,078 (Hazel) lt is your fault. (Nathan) Yeah but... 144 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:28,119 Yeah but what? Christ, you're an idiot. What are you having? 145 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:31,715 - Can of Breaker. - You can have a Diet Coke and like it. 146 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:34,837 - (Tuts) - Look, they've got a G-A-Y at Paradise, 147 00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:36,876 Monday night. Should be good. 148 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:39,713 - Can't. l'm going to a wedding. - Since when? 149 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:45,318 - Oh, all right, l'll go with the kid. - No, no, that's brilliant. Thanks. 150 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:46,958 Whose wedding? 151 00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:50,276 Family. 152 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:03,669 Steady the buffers, boys, he's drunk. Lock up your daughters. 153 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:06,638 Leave your sons at the front door. Here he is! 154 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:10,508 - (Cheering, whooping) - Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. 155 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:12,989 Pass me another boy, this one's split! 156 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,275 (Man) Come on, give it some stick, girl. 157 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:18,318 & The boys watch the girls While the girls watch the boys 158 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,470 & Who watch the girls go by 159 00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:23,795 & Eye to eye 160 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:27,190 & They solemnly convene to make the scene... & 161 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:30,158 - How much do you need? - Hundred quid? 162 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:32,708 (Sighs) OK. 163 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,154 l'm still paying the bill for next door's dog. 164 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:38,754 l'd ask Bernie but they stopped his overtime. 165 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:41,638 What about him? Useless bloody lodger. 166 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:45,395 - He spends enough on vodka. - Mm. 167 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:49,553 - Reckon he needs it. - & Eyes watch, girls walk 168 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:53,076 & With tender loving care 169 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:56,470 & We're keeping track of the fact Watching them watching back 170 00:11:56,560 --> 00:11:58,915 & That makes the world go round... & 171 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:03,709 - Heard you ran away. - No. Just went to London for a bit. 172 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,711 Didn't phone me. 173 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:08,917 - & Music to watch girls by... & - Had a great time Saturday. 174 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:11,309 You missed it. Guess who l shagged? 175 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,914 - & La la la la, la la la... & - Yeah? 176 00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:19,596 He's good. 177 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,759 - What time do you finish? - Why? 178 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:25,717 Why do you think? 179 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:41,756 & Guy talk and ''girl talk'' 180 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,559 & lt happens everywhere 181 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:47,313 & Eyes watch girls walk 182 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,153 & With tender loving care 183 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:54,512 & lt's keeping track of the fact Watching them watching back 184 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:56,352 & That makes the world go round... & 185 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:59,318 - lt's just kids in here. - What about him? 186 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,789 Yeah, not bad. Do you like him? 187 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:04,836 Not for me, for you. 188 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:09,152 l thought it was, er, for both of us. 189 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,390 Take him back to yours... 190 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:21,630 l've gotta stick with Mum. Gotta take Alexander home. 191 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,676 Coward. 192 00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:27,829 His dad's had a stroke. Speech gone, paralysed. 193 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:30,514 Sounds bad. He might die. 194 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,397 Good. 195 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,436 Yeah. 196 00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:53,516 Midnight, got that? 197 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,876 And look after the house. No crack cocaine while l'm gone. 198 00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:59,030 Yes, milady. 199 00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:03,995 Just behave, all right? None of your antics. Just behave. 200 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:07,435 - That's you, that is. - You, he means. 201 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:10,273 - Just you behave. - Behave yourself. 202 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:12,920 (Woman) l'm telling you... 203 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:16,276 - (& Vivaldi: The Four Seasons) - Fantastic. 204 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:19,390 Vince! Oh! 205 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:23,230 Hey, l smell a free bar. 206 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:27,632 - Look at you. - Oh, my God, you look marvellous. 207 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:30,314 - Oh, Hazel, oh! - Oh! 208 00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:34,432 l thought you'd got lost. Most of them have got lost. 209 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:37,876 Oh, it's so nice to see you. l'm so glad you came. 210 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:42,078 Oh, and it's Stuart. Hello. You handsome sod, come here. 211 00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:46,992 Oh, l'm so glad you came! Adrian, he's here. 212 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:49,071 Adrian! 213 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:52,152 Might as well show him who's boss, he can't escape now. 214 00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:55,073 He got my name wrong. The vicar. 215 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:58,436 He called me Janet. l couldn't stop laughing. 216 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:01,239 Look, it's Vince, he came, isn't that fantastic? 217 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:03,754 - Oh, and you've met Hazel. - Come here. 218 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:05,876 lt's not often l get the chance. 219 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,916 Congratulations. 220 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,150 Oh, and you haven't met Stuart. 221 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:13,357 l told you, remember? Stuart's Vince's boyfriend. 222 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,431 Adrian, Stuart. Stuart, Adrian. 223 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:18,351 - A pleasure. Hello. - Hello. 224 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:20,908 - (Woman) Hiya, Judy! - Suki! You came! 225 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:25,471 Adrian, meet Suki, she's my best friend. l haven't seen her for years. 226 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:30,396 l'll go and find your dad. 227 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:37,709 l never said that we're boyfriends. She-she just... 228 00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:40,876 What? 229 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:46,638 - Don't you dare. - l bet you a thousand quid. 230 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:49,837 Please. Don't shag the bridegroom, please. 231 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:53,071 Excuse me. Sorry. Mind your backs. 232 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:58,069 Now, then. 233 00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,196 Ah. You. 234 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,753 You're doing well, your mother was saying. 235 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:08,276 l'm going for this job, yeah. They asked me to apply. 236 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:11,079 lt's mine already. Deputy manager. 237 00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:13,958 - lt's good. - Well, that's marvellous. 238 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,429 l'm buying a house. Looking in Didsbury. 239 00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:18,636 lt's smart, it's nice. 240 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:23,832 lf you need any help... l've paid all this for Judith, l could chip in. 241 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:26,434 l mean, you're not, er... 242 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:29,717 Well, you're never going to marry. So, er... 243 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,951 Yeah, but Dad, she deserves it. She's done so well. 244 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,235 Yes, but we've always had to push her. 245 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:37,436 You, you've made your own way. 246 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:40,751 'Ere, try that. lt's brandy, gin and vodka. 247 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:44,753 lt's called a Jill Dando. One shot goes straight to your head. 248 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:55,353 - Adrian's nice. - Yes, he's a good enough lad. 249 00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:59,069 - We'll see, we'll see. - Course, we might get a house together. 250 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:01,469 Cos Stuart's loaded. He's got tons of money. 251 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:04,518 - Together? - We've talked about it. 252 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,514 Judith always said the two of you were... 253 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:13,195 l said, ''They're just friends.'' She said, ''Don't be so daft.'' 254 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:15,271 We'll see. Might change my mind. 255 00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:18,557 Well, like l said, if you need any help. 256 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:21,108 - He's rich. - Well. 257 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:25,517 Cheers, then. Here's to you. 258 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:28,717 - To both of you. - Cheers. 259 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:41,910 Been avoiding me? 260 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:44,593 No. 261 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,274 Still going down Canal Street? 262 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:51,716 What if l am? 263 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,436 Some right twats down there. 264 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:59,878 - Yeah. - lt's all right, though. 265 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:01,996 lt's not bad. 266 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,640 - Got myself this boyfriend. - Yeah? 267 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,154 Yeah. He's all right. 268 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:11,708 Yeah? Where's he from? 269 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,360 - Longsight. - Oh, yeah? 270 00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:18,395 He's a bit stupid. He'll do. 271 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,634 You missed your chance. 272 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:27,558 What's that mean? 273 00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:30,632 - Nothing. - What the fuck does that mean? 274 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:38,076 You're dead. 275 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:46,039 l remember the day Judith first brought Adrian home. 276 00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:48,270 Was he a good shag? 277 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:52,713 - (Whispers) l only had him the once. - Hush. 278 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,512 - Middle of Piccadilly Gardens. - Slut. 279 00:18:56,600 --> 00:19:00,832 - Well? There was a war on. - Yeah. ln Vietnam. 280 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:04,595 - Yeah, but was he any good? - Roger Bannister. 281 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,750 l'm trying to listen. 282 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,350 l was only 15. 283 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:17,514 Pervert. Older man taking advantage. l mean, who'd sleep with a 15 year old? 284 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,876 Fair dues, though. He did his bit, old Dudley. 285 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:25,669 l'd take Vince to Macclesfield. At least he saw him. 286 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:27,716 Up your arse. 287 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:32,920 Only once or twice a year, that's all. But at least he'd go and see him. 288 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,878 No matter what happened, they were father and son. 289 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,349 Your dad might pop his clogs any minute. 290 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,159 Up your arse. l'm not gonna see him. 291 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:45,756 - Comprendez-vous? - Non. Je ne comprends pas. 292 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,956 Don't get fancy, lady. 293 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:54,156 She's nice, my mum. l mean, she's a bit boring and that but she's all right. 294 00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,759 Just don't talk about things, OK? 295 00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:00,229 - What's that mean, things? - Things. 296 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:03,471 - What sort of things? - You know what things. Sex and that. 297 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:06,677 Like l'd say, ''Nice fish fingers. l'll shove them up me arse.'' 298 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:08,990 - And you would. - l will, then. 299 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:12,675 - Just don't. - God. No wonder your dad left home. 300 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:17,629 And l work at the uni on weekends - bar work and clearing up. lt's a right laugh. 301 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,359 - Any plans beyond that? - Dunno. l love it. 302 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:23,716 lt's a laugh. l might go back to college. Do night classes. 303 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,030 Since when? 304 00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:27,678 l might. 305 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:32,949 - What for? Anything in particular? - Dunno. 306 00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:36,919 l loved history, Tudors and Stewarts. l'm doing Mardi Gras this year. 307 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:41,073 l'm Marie Antoinette. Like ''Let them eat cake.'' lt's gonna be fab. 308 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:44,789 - That's not Tudors and Stewarts. - Big frocks, same difference. 309 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:47,440 We did fancy dress. l was Britney Spears. 310 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:52,275 l've done her. Hollywood Show Bar. l had this wig, just like the video. 311 00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:56,956 They love me in the Show Bar. Julia tried to get me barred cos l broke a stool. 312 00:20:57,040 --> 00:21:00,794 But all the staff had a petition. They love me. 313 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,836 (Dazz) You should put your hair up, like that. 314 00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:10,718 - Sorry about that. - He's nice enough. 315 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:13,633 - Helen likes him. - He doesn't half witter on. 316 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:16,029 Should have seen my first boyfriend. 317 00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:18,873 He used to sit and read Ordnance Survey maps. 318 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:21,394 You wouldn't see him as Britney Spears. 319 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:25,712 He puts it on. All those stories, he hasn't done half of those things. 320 00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:28,030 l worked that out for meself. 321 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:33,229 And he's never going to college. He didn't even do GCSEs. 322 00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:35,515 - He's a good-looking lad, though. - Mm. 323 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,830 lt sort of fades after a bit. 324 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:44,270 Nathan, l know you're new to all this, but you've got it the wrong way round. 325 00:21:44,360 --> 00:21:49,639 - l'm supposed to be the one criticising. - Yeah, but don't you think... 326 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:51,199 What? 327 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:56,349 - Don't you think he's a twat? - That's one way of putting it. 328 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:59,955 And to be honest, you might as well be going out with a girl. 329 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:01,871 Your decision. 330 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:05,589 Look. Helen says l'm the Pope. Bless you, my children. 331 00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:07,716 (Janice laughs) 332 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:10,075 Oh, God. 333 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:13,675 & Darling, there's no way out Nothing can help me now 334 00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:15,591 & Love's got a hold of my heart.. & 335 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:18,752 (Dudley) Must be a wonderful life, Hazel, all those boys. 336 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:23,914 They're such good company. Never short of a joke. Tremendous wit, all of them. 337 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:27,754 They're always smiling, they're always laughing. 338 00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:30,149 Yes, and they make such good pets. 339 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,632 (Sigh) Oh, my God, l'm knackered. 340 00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:49,756 - Bloody long day. - Yeah. 341 00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:52,308 Oh, we heard last week we got that house. 342 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:56,075 lt's got a great big garden and it's got a tree. lt's lovely. 343 00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:59,994 You'll have to come over. Maybe at Christmas. 344 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:01,911 - Oh, can l nick a fag? - Yeah. 345 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:05,993 Judith always says we should see Vince more often. He's a nice bloke. 346 00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:07,911 Good-looking. 347 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,878 - You think he's good-looking? - Yeah. 348 00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,076 That's not good-looking. 349 00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,390 Judith was telling her friend Trisha, 350 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:21,632 ''Wait until you see my brother, he's really handsome. Such a waste.'' 351 00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:25,230 A waste? 352 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:28,357 Go on, what's a waste, exactly? What is wasted? 353 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:32,399 - Hold on a minute. - Oh, my God, back in a minute. 354 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:35,313 & A little bit of you makes me your man... & 355 00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:39,075 What, a waste of cock, a waste of spunk, waste of a fuck, what? 356 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:40,434 And you're not wasted. 357 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:44,354 - You get vagina, you get Judith. - Don't talk about her like that. 358 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,670 - Fucking the front is better. - Listen... 359 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:48,557 Hiya. Want a drink? 360 00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:53,197 That's not a waste. 361 00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:56,397 You told every single one of them. Boyfriends. 362 00:23:56,480 --> 00:24:00,837 - No, it's just cos we're always together. - They don't think it by mistake. 363 00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:02,956 You let 'em think it and you love it. 364 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:08,716 (& Slow ballad drifts out) 365 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:36,073 (DJ) And now it's one for all you lovers. 366 00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,116 (& Patsy Cline: Crazy) 367 00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,235 & Crazy... & 368 00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:54,471 l could have had all this. lf l'd stuck with him. 369 00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:57,996 Nice house. Nice car. None of that cutting out coupons. 370 00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:02,198 - Bollocks. lt's the wife's money. - Don't spoil a good story. 371 00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:04,316 & Crazy 372 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,836 & Crazy for feeling so blue... & 373 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:12,196 One quick shag goes on for years. 374 00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,271 Did you love him? 375 00:25:14,360 --> 00:25:16,191 No. 376 00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:18,840 Just fancied him rotten. 377 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:21,309 Long time ago. 378 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:24,039 Look at them. 379 00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:26,315 Two nodding dogs. 380 00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:30,800 & And then someday... & 381 00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:33,709 Did you never fancy Vince? 382 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,760 - You been drinking? - l never drink. 383 00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:44,238 l look at you, 14 years old, hormones all over, 384 00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:47,710 you'd have shagged a letter box, but not him. 385 00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:49,756 Nope. 386 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:52,115 You saying my son's ugly? 387 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,516 (Quietly) He's... 388 00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:58,156 & Wonderin'... & 389 00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:01,351 (Vince) You've gotta fancy him. 390 00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:04,756 Never mind love. 391 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:07,434 Love can fuck off. 392 00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:09,750 lf you fancy him, 393 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:13,071 there's blood, there's a hard-on, if you just... 394 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,276 if you just love him... 395 00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:21,435 & ..that my love could hold you 396 00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:26,953 & l'm crazy for tryin' 397 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:29,076 & And crazy for cryin'... & 398 00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:30,673 No blood. 399 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:36,073 & And l'm crazy for loving 400 00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:39,916 & You... & 401 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,316 Just checking. 402 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:58,757 What about him? Do you think he'd find enough blood? 403 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:01,877 (& Englebert Humperdinck: Spanish Eyes) 404 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:04,076 Let's find out. 405 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:07,038 What does that mean? Find out what? 406 00:27:07,120 --> 00:27:13,559 & Blue Spanish eyes 407 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:21,749 & Teardrops are falling from your Spanish eyes... & 408 00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:23,193 Piss off. 409 00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:30,678 & Please, please don't cry 410 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:40,071 & This is just adios and not goodbye 411 00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:45,236 & Soon 412 00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:48,517 & l'll return 413 00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:53,832 & Bringing you all the love 414 00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:59,756 & Your heart can hold 415 00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:06,996 & Please, say si, si 416 00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:10,634 & Say you and your Spanish eyes... & 417 00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:15,669 Poor sods. They've gotta wake up with each other every single day. 418 00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,473 Give it six months. Your sex life's dead. 419 00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:21,710 You'll never catch me doing that. 420 00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:25,149 Do you fancy staying the night? 421 00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:27,196 Bit expensive. 422 00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:31,476 Might as well. 423 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:37,555 We could try again - a threesome. 424 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:40,552 That barman's been looking, he's up for it. 425 00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:42,596 Cut out the middleman. 426 00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:45,717 & ..Spanish eyes... & 427 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:52,590 (Phone ringing) 428 00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:02,793 (& Martine McCutcheon: Perfect Moment) 429 00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:07,470 Well, that was quick. Only took 16 years. 430 00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:34,917 Blimey. 431 00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:27,948 You know what Phil used to say? 432 00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,713 That you were saving me for your old age. 433 00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:37,234 - Assuming you'd want me. - Assuming that, yeah. 434 00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:40,998 Like one day you'd be past it. 435 00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:46,074 You'd go down Canal Street and they'd all be kids laughing at the sad old man. 436 00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:48,958 And l'd be there waiting...apparently. 437 00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:54,553 Long time to wait. 438 00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:56,471 You'll be 30 soon. 439 00:30:57,680 --> 00:30:59,318 Ancient. 440 00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:03,517 So the day l shag you, l'm old? 441 00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:05,556 According to Phil. 442 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,833 What the fuck did he know about anything anyway? 443 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:18,239 Yeah. 444 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:22,831 Better get some sleep. Long day tomorrow. 445 00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:27,432 Yeah, me too. 446 00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:04,109 (Mobile phone) 447 00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:07,075 What is it now? 448 00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:10,994 (Hazel) 'Hi, Vince. l must have lost an earring last night. 449 00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:15,358 - 'Are you still at the hotel?' - Yeah. We're going to breakfast. 450 00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:19,194 - What was it like? - 'Er, sort of gold with bits on it... 451 00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:24,308 - 'So...did you have a nice time?' - Fantastic. 452 00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:28,439 - And how was the room? - Nice, yeah. 453 00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:33,195 - Did you... Did you stay up late or... - (Beeping) 454 00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:36,192 - You've got call waiting. - Hold on. 455 00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:37,429 Yeah? 456 00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:39,670 Hazel, fuck off! 457 00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,634 Deputy manager. lt's so grown-up. 458 00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:49,998 l keep fighting it off like l don't even want the job, like l'm still a kid. 459 00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:51,354 But l'm not. 460 00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:55,069 There's only one good way of getting old and that's with money. 461 00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:57,390 You need money, you get promotion. 462 00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:17,920 - Here he is. - Don't suppose you have a kettle? 463 00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,389 l told her, ''Put the kettle on top.'' 464 00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:23,597 l brought a flask of tea and your father drank it all. 465 00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:25,477 And he ate all the biscuits. 466 00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:28,988 So you've come to get your hands dirty? 467 00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:30,399 Oh, yes. 468 00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:42,239 God love them, they're bored to tears. Go and play in the garden. 469 00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:46,711 No, it's OK. lt's much more fun round Uncle Stuart's flat. 470 00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:50,349 That's a hint. They're looking for a wide-screen TV. 471 00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:53,352 No, it's not. lt's cos all his mates come round. 472 00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:55,874 That's nice. ls that Vince? 473 00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:57,951 Yeah. Vince is one of 'em. 474 00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:01,237 Your Granny's right. Why don't you go out and play? 475 00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:04,471 Lots of men. All the time. 476 00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:08,837 - Stuart, help me with these shelves. - l can't. 477 00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:10,876 Of course you can. Come on. 478 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:15,112 We don't do hammers and nails or saws. 479 00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:17,589 We do joints and screws but it's different. 480 00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:19,910 - Who does? - Queers. 481 00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:25,829 l'll get some sandwiches. This kitchen needs organising. 482 00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:27,990 Because l'm queer. 483 00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:30,913 l'm gay. l'm homosexual. 484 00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:34,713 l'm a poof. l'm a poofter. l'm a ponce. 485 00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:40,874 l'm a bum-boy, batty-boy, backside artist, bugger. l'm bent. 486 00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:44,839 l am the arse bandit, l lift those shirts. 487 00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:50,237 l'm a faggot-arsed, fudge-packing, shit-stabbing uphill gardener. 488 00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:54,836 l dine at the downstairs restaurant, l dance at the other end of the ballroom. 489 00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:57,832 l'm Moses and the parting of the red cheeks. 490 00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:02,118 l fuck and l'm fucked. l suck and l'm sucked. 491 00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:03,997 l rim them and wank them 492 00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:08,278 and every single man's had the fucking time of his life. 493 00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:11,397 And l'm not...a pervert. 494 00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:18,112 lf there's one twisted bastard in this family, it's this little blackmailer here. 495 00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:21,356 So congratulations, Thomas. 496 00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:26,119 l've just officially outed you. 497 00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:38,799 All right, boys. Go outside and play. 498 00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:42,633 - Outside. - And just what have you been doing? 499 00:35:42,720 --> 00:35:45,712 Come here. What exactly have you been doing? 500 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:51,515 He's eight years old. Ben is eight years old. 501 00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:53,989 Oh, and, one more thing. 502 00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:56,469 Did l mention l've got a baby? 503 00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:01,836 (& Utopia: Feel The Need ln Me) 504 00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:05,516 & Can't you see l'm talking? 505 00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:09,632 & Yeah, yeah 506 00:36:22,240 --> 00:36:23,958 & All right now 507 00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:28,672 & Oh, oh... & 508 00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:32,236 Knackered or what? 509 00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:37,758 l suppose you're going to be all responsible now? 510 00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:41,389 - And you. All grown up. - Getting older. 511 00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:43,550 Are we gonna shag then? 512 00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:48,873 l reckon there's still a few strangers out there in need of a good shafting. 513 00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:50,359 (Laughs) 514 00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:58,315 Obviously it'll have a lounge. 515 00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:02,518 Then it's got two bedrooms where we can have guests staying over. 516 00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:05,876 Look, there he is, Nick Tandy. Look at him. 517 00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:10,993 Wait a minute. Any minute now. Here it is. 518 00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:13,594 Best arse on planet Earth. 519 00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:17,355 He was looking at me that night in Via Fossa. 520 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:19,795 You'll be lucky. 521 00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:22,678 Yeah. l might be, yeah. 522 00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:27,155 - Where are we going? - l'm going after Nick Tandy. 523 00:37:27,240 --> 00:37:31,199 - What do you mean? - lt's not like we're exclusive or anything. 524 00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:33,874 - lt's not like we're anything. - Since when? 525 00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:36,428 l'm 16 next week. l'm getting old. 526 00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:40,718 l can't waste time hanging around. Look at that arse. lt's new. 527 00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:44,918 - Well, you can fuck off, then! - That's exactly what l'm doing! 528 00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:48,237 & l need your only kiss 529 00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:49,753 & To keep my heart in bliss 530 00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:53,310 & You make me what l need to be 531 00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:54,992 & Feel the need 532 00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:59,153 & Oh, feel, feel the need in me... & 533 00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:04,589 l'm doing a family meal but he wants a party on Canal Street. 534 00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,148 He's inviting the mob from the youth group. 535 00:38:07,240 --> 00:38:10,038 - You've buggered this bike. - Bugger it back. 536 00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:14,910 He's coming round later. Says you know the best places and l know nothing. 537 00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:20,910 - Hello, stranger. - lt's been quite a while. How are you? 538 00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:22,433 Fine! 539 00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:24,431 l haven't seen you for ages. 540 00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:27,910 lt must be, what, six or seven years? 541 00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:29,433 At least. 542 00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:33,638 - l'm not interrupting anything, am l? - No. Thought you'd pop by. 543 00:38:33,720 --> 00:38:35,915 Two more mothers, we'd be selling jam. 544 00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:40,235 Vince must have been, l don't know, 14. 545 00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:42,754 And when did you know about Stuart? 546 00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:44,796 About the same time. 547 00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:46,950 l knew when Nathan was 1 1 . 548 00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:49,270 l did. 549 00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:51,316 When l'm on supply teaching, 550 00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:56,235 you to into school and there's a boy just sitting there and it's shining out of him. 551 00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:00,073 Did you never think? 552 00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:02,720 Must've done. l must've. 553 00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:07,438 No. l don't think l did. 554 00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:09,636 Stuart? 555 00:39:09,720 --> 00:39:14,840 Try not to think about the arse thing and you'll be fine. People don't like that. 556 00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:17,832 Well, l'm not trying it again. 557 00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:20,115 The arse thing. 558 00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:23,715 Janice Maloney! 559 00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:26,758 - Not with Roy? - Oh, yes, Mr High-And-Mighty. 560 00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:28,671 l screamed the place down. 561 00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:33,675 l told the neighbours the cat had fallen off the landing and broke his neck. 562 00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:40,559 l quite like it myself. You can read a book at the same time. 563 00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:46,676 Well, don't look at me. lt's a foreign language. 564 00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:50,196 There's lots to learn, Margaret. Still... 565 00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:52,475 l've got Stuart to thank for that. 566 00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:55,359 And did, erm... 567 00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:59,795 With Nathan? Yes. 568 00:39:59,880 --> 00:40:01,472 That's nice. 569 00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:05,114 - What does Nathan do? - He's a student. 570 00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:07,395 Oh. What's he studying? 571 00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:09,152 Your son, mostly. 572 00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:12,755 - (Nathan) Hiya. - Oh, shit, it's like a madhouse in here. 573 00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:15,400 l'll tell him to sod off. 574 00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:20,395 lt took ages to get home. The first bus was full and l had to stand on the next. 575 00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:25,399 Have you come to any decisions yet? l think Via Fossa's best. 576 00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:27,630 Look, we're a bit busy in here... 577 00:40:27,720 --> 00:40:29,790 This is Nathan. My son. 578 00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:34,271 lt's his birthday on Friday. We're having a party. 579 00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:35,793 His sixteenth. 580 00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:40,956 (Dog barking) 581 00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:57,711 This lunch thing at your sister's next Sunday, 582 00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:01,349 new house and everything, what with the boys... 583 00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:04,470 - lt's best if you give it a miss. - Fine. 584 00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:07,996 We just think, your mother and l, it'd be best 585 00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:10,036 if you're not there. 586 00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:12,395 She's round at Romey's every other day, 587 00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:15,517 so she gets plenty of chance to see that little man. 588 00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:17,795 So it's just me? 589 00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:22,868 We'll get together next month. All of us. 590 00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:24,757 Just give it a bit of time. 591 00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:26,717 l might be busy. 592 00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:29,155 lt's not as if we see you or anything. 593 00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:34,558 Look, your mother's been all round, she's been visiting... 594 00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:39,031 For God's sake, she's trying to make sense of it and can't. 595 00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:41,190 Tell her to read a book. 596 00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:45,193 And she thinks it's all her fault, the way she brought you up. 597 00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:49,193 l told her it just happens. 598 00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:51,396 Some boys grow up to be... 599 00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:54,995 bastards. 600 00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:59,116 Well, l'll see myself out. 601 00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:10,119 (Alexander) l don't care if he's dying. Who gives a toss? 602 00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:13,317 (Stuart) You're going to see your father. We're all going. 603 00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:27,869 Sorry we're late. There was this queue by the ring road. 604 00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:29,916 Anyway, thanks for phoning. 605 00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:33,754 - How is he? - Sleeping. 606 00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:35,796 So, what, do you want me to wait? 607 00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:41,352 l thought we could talk. There's a tea bar. A few things to sort out. ln private. 608 00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:52,559 Your father and l talked about this last year. 609 00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:56,599 lf the worst comes to the worst, everything comes to me. 610 00:42:56,680 --> 00:42:58,796 But there are precedents. 611 00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:02,754 We thought you could sign this. 612 00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:06,230 lt states you won't make a claim for any inheritance. 613 00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:08,439 Jesus. 614 00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:12,559 - l don't want his money. - No problem signing it, then. 615 00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:13,868 There. 616 00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:18,397 Read it first. Get yourself a lawyer. That won't stand up in court. 617 00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:20,675 l don't care. 618 00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:24,671 And...there. 619 00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:28,192 (Pen scratching paper) 620 00:43:29,240 --> 00:43:31,231 There you go. 621 00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:32,799 Thanks, Mum. 622 00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:40,754 There's no need. You got my name. That's it. Done it. 623 00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:43,229 Things to do. Tell him... 624 00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:45,072 Tell him... 625 00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:01,591 What? 626 00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:24,156 Maybe next time. 627 00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:32,791 - There's no point in making it worse. - Coward! 628 00:44:45,720 --> 00:44:47,836 Bang! 629 00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:50,229 & ..if you ever left me 630 00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:52,880 & Tell me, how would l make it? 631 00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:55,599 - The perfect threesome. l've found it. - l'd rather have a wank. 632 00:44:55,680 --> 00:44:57,636 Oh! Oh. 633 00:44:58,680 --> 00:45:00,477 You, me and Nathan. 634 00:45:00,560 --> 00:45:02,630 & l don't know what l'd do 635 00:45:02,720 --> 00:45:04,995 & lf you ever left me... & 636 00:45:08,520 --> 00:45:11,193 Fly, my pretties, fly! 637 00:45:13,240 --> 00:45:15,435 - Piss off! - Nathan, enough of that language. 638 00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:17,829 Me? What about them? 639 00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:23,595 Stupid fucking cunt! 640 00:45:24,720 --> 00:45:27,553 - You two are like a married couple. - We're not shagging. 641 00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:28,959 That's a married couple. 642 00:45:29,040 --> 00:45:30,439 You're on your own. 643 00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:31,919 Suits me. 644 00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:36,278 You're just straight, Vince. You're a straight man who fucks men, that's all. 645 00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:41,990 & l don't know what l'd do l don't know what l'd do 646 00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:45,550 & l don't know what l'd do, do, do, do & 49719

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