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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:21,475 'Sometimes, you get a good Thursday, 2 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:25,189 'sometimes a bog-standard Thursday, sometimes a shit Thursday.' 3 00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:27,236 This Thursday was mental. 4 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:31,233 Thursday night in Babylon used to be '70s night but they changed it. 5 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:33,550 Thursday night is '90s night, 6 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:36,871 which makes you feel ancient. Thanks very much. 7 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:40,919 l spent all night chasing after some bloke who turns out to be mad. 8 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:45,949 Like, really mad. He had every episode of Juliet Bravo on tape. 9 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,713 (Dance music, chatter) 10 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:52,236 'So, it's getting late, lights on. 11 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:57,792 'l haven't copped off, Phil's not copped off and Stuart...' 12 00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:00,269 Stuart's copped off. 13 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,351 Oi, Vince! 14 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:06,716 Wait there. Don't move. 15 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:13,680 - Where are you going? - You've copped off. 16 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:17,230 - l'm just getting his telephone number. - Did he swallow it? 17 00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:21,791 l'll be ten minutes. Wait by the Jeep. You've gotta get me home. Wait for me! 18 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:25,873 So, he brings the car, gives you the keys so you can't drink, 19 00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:28,030 then he buggers off. Nice system. 20 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:31,908 - l'll give him ten minutes. l don't mind. - He's still looking. 21 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,389 - He is not. - He is so. 22 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:37,517 (Vince) He's all muscles. l don't cop off with muscles. 23 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:40,956 l mean, what happens? He takes his kit off - Marky Mark. 24 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,156 l take mine off - Norman Wisdom. 25 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:48,109 l had a bloke with muscles once. Great. Like being let loose on a bouncy castle. 26 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:51,192 - He's still looking. - (Cockney accent) Shut it! 27 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:53,236 - Shut it! - Pat'll go mad. 28 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,038 - Shut it! - (Horn beeps) 29 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:59,193 'Sometimes, you're halfway through a shag and you just get bored of him. 30 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:02,431 'So you wank him off in a doorway and move straight on. 31 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:05,671 'Cos you keep on looking. That's why you keep going out. 32 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:10,072 'There's always a new bloke, a better bloke, just waiting round the corner. 33 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,549 'And that was the night he came along. 34 00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:15,393 'The one-night stand that never went away.' 35 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,190 (Music, chatter) 36 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:31,878 Excuse me... l'm just looking. l mean, what's the best place to go? 37 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:36,272 Depends on what you're after. lf you want bastards, you go in there. 38 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,954 And if you want wankers, go in there. 39 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:43,113 And if you want selfish, little, mincing, piss tart dickheads, 40 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:46,397 then pick a building, any building. lt's full of them. 41 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:50,314 (Woman) Bernie! Don't be so daft. Don't listen to her. 42 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,994 lt's just a T-shirt! 43 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:57,358 She's off her head, she's been drinking! Bernie! 44 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:13,710 ($ lndigo: Haven't You Heard) 45 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:47,317 $ l've been looking for you $ Haven't you heard 46 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:52,198 $ Oh, l've been looking... $ 47 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:56,518 The first time l copped off, l was in school. 48 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:59,160 Mr Daniels, PE. 49 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:03,836 We're chatting away, football, or something and he's getting his gear off. 50 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:05,956 Big, hairy bloke. Nice. 51 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:09,510 So l keep talking. We're in his office. 52 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:13,115 He's got this cubicle, like his own private shower. 53 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:17,954 Next thing, he's stark bollock naked. Fantastic. 54 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:21,396 l'm still talking away like a twat and he gets in the shower, 55 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:24,040 pulls the curtain, half pulls it. 56 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:26,759 Now, l'm twelve years old, 57 00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:29,195 l'm thinking ''aye aye''. 58 00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:31,396 So...l got in the shower 59 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,948 with all my clothes on. 60 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,996 l did. 61 00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:40,115 l must have been scared to death... 62 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:43,750 but l don't remember being scared. 63 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,393 Had a good night? 64 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:50,755 Yeah. 65 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,191 l'm Stuart. 66 00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:56,236 (Exasperated grunt) 67 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:01,471 - Got somewhere to go? - No. 68 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:03,790 Wanna come back to mine? 69 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:07,197 l was fifteen. 70 00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:09,396 l did it the first time l went out. 71 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:11,436 l'm quite proud of that. 72 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:14,159 l'm dead proud of that. My first time out. 73 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:17,549 Stuart Alan Jones. 74 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:20,950 He's looking down at me. Like the face of God. 75 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:25,911 OK. 76 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,359 Bastard! 77 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:45,032 Oh, leave me alone. Sod off back to the gym. 78 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:17,676 Nice kitchen. 79 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:24,951 lt's great, it's really nice. l never cook. Takeaways - that's me. 80 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:36,630 l'm always eating takeaways. 81 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,711 Pizza. 82 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:46,634 Mind you, l've gotta be careful. 83 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:49,553 l can't eat anything. l've got this thing. 84 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:53,599 lt's called, like, anaphylactic shock. Your throat swells up. 85 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:57,434 - Packet of peanuts could kill me... - You staying out here or what? 86 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,235 We had this barbecue... 87 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:03,356 last summer... 88 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:47,235 Oh, what is he like? 89 00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:50,118 Go...away. 90 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,234 - Nice car. - Yeah. lt's not mine. 91 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:05,073 - This where you live? - Yeah. 92 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:08,675 Look, it's nice to meet you but l'm up early tomorrow 93 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:13,311 and l was up early this morning and l'm working shifts and l'm really tired. 94 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:16,676 Are we shagging, or what? lt's pissing down. 95 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:29,435 So what do you like doing? 96 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:33,636 l like watching telly. 97 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:37,679 - What do you like doing in bed? - Er, this is fine. 98 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:45,596 Rimming? 99 00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:47,875 - Yeah. - Excellent. 100 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,036 Go on, then. 101 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:00,554 - What'd you mean, exactly? - (Phone) 102 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:07,912 Yeah? 103 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,433 No. 104 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,956 No, when? 105 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:15,996 When did that happen? 106 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:19,709 Why didn't you phone me? Of course l've been out. 107 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:23,110 - (Stifled groan) - Jesus Christ! Do you have to? 108 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:29,995 No, it's just some bloke. What's your name? 109 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,469 - Nathan. - Nathan, say hello to Lisa. 110 00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:34,551 - Hello. - So where is she now? 111 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:36,278 Yeah? 112 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:38,510 Right. Okey-doke. 113 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,280 Right, well, thanks for that. 114 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,396 Gotta go. 115 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:49,556 ($ Gabrielle: Give Me A Little More Time) 116 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:51,631 God, you've got everything. 117 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:56,350 Manga. Me dad's into manga. You got any porn? 118 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:59,398 - One or two. Yeah? - Anything good? 119 00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:02,630 American stuff. 120 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:06,309 l've got some Cadinot. 121 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,356 lt's much better. 122 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:10,476 lt's actually got a plot. 123 00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:13,358 This one's good. Service Actif. 124 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:16,796 Been trying to find Service Actif Deux. 125 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:19,758 Apparently, it's been deleted. l can't s... 126 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,798 - Shall l put it on? - l haven't got time, really. 127 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:27,839 Can we just get on with it? Sorry, but it's nearly three o'clock. 128 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,832 - Fine. - (Belt unbuckling) 129 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:34,354 (Phone) 130 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:37,477 - l'd better just... - Can't you just leave it? 131 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:39,551 l've, erm... 132 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:49,718 - Hello? - Vince. Emergency. 133 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:52,439 l need the car. lt's happened. 134 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:55,956 No. No! When? 135 00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:59,715 Hours ago. l can't believe it. My mobile was off. 136 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:03,190 Who phoned you? Lisa? What happened? Who was there? 137 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:05,669 There was no one there. Just those women. 138 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,950 God. 139 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:12,916 Oh, my God. 140 00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:21,240 Oh-ho-ho, my God! 141 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:25,680 Look, l really can't stay long. 142 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:28,274 Who's that? You've got someone there. 143 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,716 'Er, er, no, really, it's fine.' 144 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:35,713 Forget the car, we'll get a taxi. You've copped off. That's a first. 145 00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:39,076 No, really, really, l haven't. 146 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:43,679 - l'll get the car. - 'Don't you dare.' 147 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:48,038 l'll get a cab. Shag him blind, kick him out, l'll see you there. 148 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:51,078 - 'No, really, really, l...' - (Beep) 149 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:58,319 lt's my friend. His mother's in hospital. 150 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,436 They think it's serious. 151 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,954 - l'll have to go. - That's a pity. 152 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:06,157 - l was really looking forward to that. - Me too. 153 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:08,310 l'll phone you a taxi. 154 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,075 - What's happened? - Everything. 155 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:16,193 l'll have to go, anyway. l've got college. 156 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,798 College...or school? 157 00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:24,830 Sixth-form college. 158 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,840 - How old are you? - 18. 159 00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:31,309 What year were you born? 160 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,551 - 1981 . - Bollocks. You had to think about it. 161 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:38,155 No one has to think about what year they were born. 162 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:41,515 How old are you? 163 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:43,556 16. 164 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:49,990 How old are you, really? 165 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,076 15. 166 00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:05,994 (Driver) ls it on account? (Stuart) Yeah. 167 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,469 (Vince) Where've you been? (Stuart) Come on. 168 00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:11,233 (Vince) You had to bring him, didn't you? 169 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,312 Oh, my God. 170 00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:38,274 - (Baby crying) - Oh, my God. 171 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,920 Here he is. This is him. 172 00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:46,319 Hold his head. Careful. 173 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:51,157 Started this morning. Ten o'clock tonight, there he was. 174 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:53,754 - l wanted to be there. - No, you didn't. 175 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:55,956 lt's like a car crash down there. 176 00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:59,794 Oh, God. Funny shaped head. He's... 177 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:02,440 Ugly, aren't they? He doesn't look like me. 178 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:06,593 We weren't talking about names, because that's up to you and Romey. 179 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:09,319 But l just looked at him and said, ''Frederick?'' 180 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:12,312 - l quite like it. - What, in an ironic sort of way? 181 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,834 - Yeah. - No, it's not ironic enough. 182 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:19,710 What about Alfred? That way, you've still got the Fred bit. Run a check on Alfred. 183 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:24,157 Alf Roberts, Alfie, Michael Caine. Alf - that American sitcom with the puppet - 184 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:28,552 bit dodgy. But that's forgotten by the time he's in school. Unless it's on cable. 185 00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:31,598 l bet they've got it on Bravo. Oh. 186 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:36,674 Alfred's the name of Batman's butler - marvellous. Good name. 187 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:39,399 Alfred. What do you think? 188 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:43,153 - Great. - He's mine. 189 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,390 Aren't you going to introduce us? 190 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:47,675 Er, what was your name again? 191 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:52,311 - Nathan. - Oh, you've met. Lisa was on the phone 192 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:55,358 - when Nathan shot his load all over me. - For God's sake. 193 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:58,318 Well, he did. He's 15, aren't you, Nate? 194 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:02,439 - You both had a child on the same night. - He's brought the trophy cabinet. 195 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:06,911 The most important phone call of my life and he was there. l couldn't leave him. 196 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,956 You wanted to come, didn't you? 197 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:10,996 Yeah. 198 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,156 Romey, what the fuck have we done? 199 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:22,636 Oh, shit. 200 00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:32,155 Yes, yes, yes. 201 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:34,356 Take off your watch. 202 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:38,399 (Nurse) Excuse me, please. (Porter) Mind your backs. 203 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:42,392 Yes, yes, yes. 204 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:45,119 You're good, Vince. You'll do good things. 205 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:48,272 - Could you tell if l had cancer? - Why would you have it? 206 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:52,512 - l always think l've got cancer. - She'll love it. Yeah, thanks, bye. 207 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:56,036 Bloody Ken - he's sending flowers. l should have got flowers. 208 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:59,192 Nathan, get some flowers, quick as you can. 209 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:02,636 You can't use your mobile. You'll switch off the iron lungs. 210 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:04,870 There's a thought - l should have a cigar. 211 00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:07,633 You don't have to do what he says. 212 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:10,676 l...l don't mind. 213 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,910 l'll, erm, just get some... 214 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,070 (Low talking, coughing) 215 00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:59,034 (Vince) Blimey, bit nippy. 216 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:02,556 Look, you can see my mother's house from here. 217 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:08,034 Come on, let's go back down. 218 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,230 lt's weird, isn't it? 219 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,315 l mean, he's real. 220 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,119 Just seeing him, it's like... 221 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:29,431 l dunno what it's like. l mean, it's brilliant. 222 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:31,750 But it's weird. 223 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:34,593 The most expensive wank l've ever had. 224 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:42,868 Oh, that's right, top yourself. 225 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:46,839 That's what they do in soaps. Birth and death in the same episode. 226 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:51,311 Get down. You've gotta be responsible now...dad. 227 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:01,117 That's it. Arms out. Titanic! 228 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:05,749 - King of the world! - l'm always Kate Winslet. 229 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:08,593 King of the world! 230 00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:31,316 Congratulations. 231 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:41,396 Oh, my God. 232 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,550 Vince, hard-on. 233 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:45,596 l have not. 234 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:49,719 l didn't know you cared. No one's looking. Go on, get it out, get it out. 235 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:53,475 Fuck off. Six months since l've had a shag. 236 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,630 lt's like Pavlov's dogs. 237 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:58,234 You sad bastard. 238 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,430 - Stuart. - Had him. 239 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,273 You're going home. You're going to sleep, 240 00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:18,954 you're getting up and you're going to work. 241 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:23,591 Then, you can work hard for the next 20 years. You've got a kid to look after now. 242 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:26,638 Absolutely, l promise. Yes. 243 00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:32,115 Want one? 244 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:34,350 All right, more for me. 245 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:42,876 Right. Nathan, let's go. lt's all getting a bit lesbian in here. 246 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,315 My waters have broken! 247 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,678 (Stuart) He's a calendar, that kid, he's a clock. 248 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:56,912 A great big stopwatch just staring me in the face. 249 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,355 As he gets older, that's all he can do. 250 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:03,318 Do you know what that means? 251 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,709 l'm getting older. 252 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,268 (Sniggers) Mind you... 253 00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:11,477 they don't always live. (Laughs) 254 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,120 Meningitis - that's a good one. 255 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:17,033 (Vince) Stuart, what have you taken? 256 00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:20,192 That's not E. You only took it five minutes ago. 257 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:23,716 - What is it? - Don't know. lt was expensive. 258 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:27,475 You don't even know what you're taking. You twat. 259 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,516 Hmm. 260 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:44,034 - (Horn beeps, tyres screech) - Shit! Fuck! 261 00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,508 Look, leave him alone. 262 00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,716 l'll take him home. 263 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:58,035 l'm gonna fuck you. l'm gonna fuck you all night, yeah? ls that what you want? 264 00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:00,236 l'm taking him home. 265 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:07,509 - l'm going with him. - Good boy. (Laughs) 266 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:44,756 (Nathan moaning) 267 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:00,876 (Gasping) 268 00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:07,158 No one told you about that, did they? 269 00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,196 That's it. 270 00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:37,157 Slowly. 271 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,196 That's all of them. 272 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:44,314 All the football team. 273 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:47,119 All the what? 274 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:50,397 All of them - naked and in shorts. (Laughing) 275 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:58,511 And the referee's going, ''Yes...yes...yes... 276 00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:00,556 ''ln we go.'' 277 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,108 (Gasps) Slowly. Really. 278 00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:05,794 ($ Doctor Who theme) 279 00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:14,072 - 'Ahh!' - 'Die.' 280 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:17,550 - 'l will bring Sutekh's gift of death...' - ..gift of death... 281 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,234 - '..to all humanity.' - ..to all humanity. 282 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:22,709 - 'Ahh!' - ($ Doctor Who theme) 283 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:30,676 (Alarm bleeps) 284 00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:49,076 (Car alarm) 285 00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:57,550 Oi! 286 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:05,871 You little bastards. 287 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:09,428 - You poof! - We seen you! We seen you! 288 00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:11,476 You fucking queer! 289 00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:43,350 For fuck's sake. 290 00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:49,589 - What the hell is that? - You did this map 291 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:53,036 of all the places you've had a shag. lt starts out Manchester, 292 00:24:53,120 --> 00:24:55,998 but that bit's Denmark and then you went to New York. 293 00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:59,914 All right, l know. You might have stopped me. 294 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,878 l'll have to get it painted again, now. Shit. 295 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,520 lt's the pens. l've gotta get rid of the pens. 296 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:09,073 Right, well, gotta go. 297 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:21,796 God, the state of me. 298 00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:26,228 - What happened to the car? - Vince took it. 299 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:29,118 - Good, he'll bring it back. - Can l have a shower? 300 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,156 Hurry up, then. 301 00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:36,673 - Oh, what is that? - lt's the Millennium Dome. 302 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:41,276 - You met that bloke... - That wasn't ecstasy. That fucking Anita. 303 00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:43,920 l bet she sold me dog-worming tablets again. 304 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,434 Go on then, shower! 305 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:52,070 l'm such a twat. l am such a twat. 306 00:26:11,120 --> 00:26:16,148 'Don't panic. lt's Romey, l'm in hospital. The contractions have started...' 307 00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,196 Fuck, l've got a baby. 308 00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:28,836 Why doesn't anyone stop me? lt's not my fault. 309 00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,390 They should stop me. 310 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:40,592 Hey. 311 00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:57,758 - ($ Pulp: Something Changed) - (Beeps horn) 312 00:26:57,840 --> 00:26:59,796 He's here. 313 00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:13,199 Oh, excellent. Well done, Vince. 314 00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:16,431 Then don't give me the car. l've warned you before. 315 00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:19,432 - lt was those kids. - Doesn't matter. Company car. 316 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:21,954 Now, let's get our little lad to school. 317 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:26,716 $ ..kiss to celebrate here today... 318 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:31,513 $ Something changed... $ 319 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:33,750 What's his name again? 320 00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:38,913 (Boy) Saw him down the chippy, and he said, ''No.'' 321 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,514 And l said, ''You did.'' Just a liar, isn't he? 322 00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:44,512 - (Girl) She went mental. - (School bell) 323 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:46,636 (Chatter, indistinct) 324 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,558 (Vince) Pull in. (Stuart) He's going to school. 325 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:58,234 - Pull in here. - l'll take him to the door. 326 00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:02,199 - ($ Suede: Beautiful Ones) - Stuart, they'll see the car. 327 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:04,236 So? 328 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:06,709 $ ..meat to the beat... $ - (Beeps horn) 329 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:10,554 $ High on diesel and gasoline 330 00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:15,760 $ Psycho for drum machine shaking their bits to the hits 331 00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:21,198 $ Oh, here they come, the beautiful ones 332 00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:23,794 $ The beautiful ones 333 00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:25,836 $ La la la la... $ 334 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:28,036 Ooh! 335 00:28:28,120 --> 00:28:30,475 (Boy) ls that your mum? 336 00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:33,120 First lesson - home economics. 337 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:35,555 - Batty man. - You twat. 338 00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:37,517 (Boys puckering) 339 00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:40,034 $ You don't do without it... $ 340 00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,031 - Can l see you again? - Let's just go. 341 00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:46,759 - Can l see you again? - You can see me now. 342 00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:49,308 - Nathan, where've you been? - Piss off. 343 00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:51,960 Aw, now, your little friend. 344 00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:55,555 - l could meet you tonight. - God knows where l'll be. 345 00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:58,757 - l could be in lpswich. - Come on, boys, give us a kiss. 346 00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:02,753 l'll give you a good fuck, you tight little virgin. 347 00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:06,355 We're going now, Stuart. Just shut your face and drive. 348 00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:09,750 - Can l see you, though? - Oh, you'll see me all right. 349 00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:11,876 You can't miss me. 350 00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:16,195 $ La la la la la 351 00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:23,275 $ La la, la la la-la la la-la 352 00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:25,555 $ La la la la la la 353 00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:27,596 $ La-la-la-la, la la... $ 354 00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:30,240 - (Wolf whistle) - Who's the bloke, Maloney? 355 00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:32,993 Your boyfriend? 356 00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:35,116 (Boy) You poof. 357 00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:44,879 (Boy laughing) What's he doing? 358 00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:48,554 l was just a shag. l knew that. 359 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:51,915 l suppose l fell in love a bit. 360 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:55,549 Like you do. l thought, ''l'll never see him again''. 361 00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:59,394 How was l to know? 362 00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,550 Stuart Alan Jones. 363 00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:06,792 Six months later, he was begging me to stay. 364 00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:09,075 ($ Air: Sexy Boy) 365 00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:15,951 $ Sexy boy 366 00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:23,994 $ Sexy boy... $ 367 00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:26,719 - The chicken has landed. - Shit. 368 00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:32,115 He said he loved me. 369 00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:42,191 Come on up. 370 00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:47,556 You're friends with a cunt. 371 00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:50,074 - $ Sexy boy... $ - Thought l'd get ready. 27718

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