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1
00:06:05,810 --> 00:06:07,558
Hello?
2
00:06:12,977 --> 00:06:15,016
You've had an accident.
3
00:06:16,851 --> 00:06:18,476
You need an ambulance.
4
00:06:18,476 --> 00:06:21,601
I'll call for one.
I'll be right back.
5
00:06:21,601 --> 00:06:24,935
- Lie still here.
- No.
6
00:06:24,935 --> 00:06:26,601
No.
7
00:06:26,601 --> 00:06:28,893
No what?
8
00:06:28,893 --> 00:06:31,269
I don't need an ambulance.
9
00:06:31,269 --> 00:06:33,352
I can clearly see you do.
10
00:06:33,352 --> 00:06:36,434
I'll call for one.
11
00:06:36,434 --> 00:06:38,143
In that case,
I'll be up and gone
12
00:06:38,143 --> 00:06:40,599
before you have time
to come back.
13
00:06:42,935 --> 00:06:44,726
That will hurt.
14
00:06:44,726 --> 00:06:48,641
That's possible.
But it doesn't matter to me.
15
00:06:53,018 --> 00:06:55,766
I assume you don't want me
to call the police either.
16
00:06:57,060 --> 00:06:59,933
Yes, that's exactly right.
17
00:07:05,351 --> 00:07:07,641
Is there anything you want?
18
00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:20,016
I'd like a cup of tea
with some milk.
19
00:07:23,060 --> 00:07:25,058
Well...
20
00:07:26,185 --> 00:07:30,060
You have to come with me.
21
00:07:30,060 --> 00:07:32,641
I don't serve tea in the street.
22
00:07:35,685 --> 00:07:37,558
Can you walk?
23
00:07:38,351 --> 00:07:39,641
Yeah.
24
00:07:42,268 --> 00:07:44,558
I've even bought a cake.
25
00:07:50,476 --> 00:07:52,266
Here's a pajama.
26
00:07:53,893 --> 00:07:55,018
Thank you.
27
00:07:55,018 --> 00:07:57,309
I've made up the bed for you.
28
00:07:57,309 --> 00:07:59,349
With clean sheets.
29
00:08:17,309 --> 00:08:19,766
- Sorry.
- That's okay.
30
00:08:22,142 --> 00:08:24,016
There.
31
00:08:32,518 --> 00:08:36,182
- I'll wash your clothes.
- Not my coat.
32
00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:39,726
It smells rather badly.
33
00:08:39,726 --> 00:08:41,516
It's my coat.
34
00:08:42,268 --> 00:08:44,266
The smell won't come off anyway.
35
00:08:45,518 --> 00:08:47,140
It's your coat.
36
00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:54,641
- Do you take sugar?
- No, thank you.
37
00:08:56,351 --> 00:08:58,140
There you go.
38
00:08:59,893 --> 00:09:01,683
Thank you.
39
00:09:07,726 --> 00:09:09,307
So what happened?
40
00:09:10,309 --> 00:09:12,057
Were you robbed?
41
00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:18,307
It's my own fault.
42
00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:21,974
I'm just a bad human being.
43
00:09:23,351 --> 00:09:25,685
I've never met
a bad human being.
44
00:09:25,685 --> 00:09:27,182
Well, you have now.
45
00:09:29,643 --> 00:09:32,351
Do you want to talk about it?
46
00:09:32,351 --> 00:09:34,266
You wouldn't understand.
47
00:09:37,101 --> 00:09:38,516
Well, try me.
48
00:09:41,142 --> 00:09:43,307
But I wouldn't know where to start.
49
00:09:53,142 --> 00:09:56,934
Why is that ridiculous
fishhook hanging there?
50
00:09:56,934 --> 00:09:59,184
That's a fly.
51
00:09:59,184 --> 00:10:02,685
I caught a fish with it once,
a rather big one.
52
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:04,558
Strangely enough.
53
00:10:07,892 --> 00:10:10,309
Fly fishing
is about tying feathers
54
00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:12,182
and other things to a hook
55
00:10:12,850 --> 00:10:16,393
so it resembles something
the fish likes to eat.
56
00:10:16,393 --> 00:10:19,518
And then because
the fly is very light,
57
00:10:19,518 --> 00:10:22,057
you have to have a line
that is heavy.
58
00:10:22,976 --> 00:10:25,349
It creates the velocity
when you cast.
59
00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:40,349
- You fish a lot?
- Well, some.
60
00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:43,641
But I don't catch much.
61
00:10:44,976 --> 00:10:47,848
The locals catch a lot more.
62
00:10:48,892 --> 00:10:51,976
When I was young, I...
I had a book I...
63
00:10:51,976 --> 00:10:53,474
I worshipped.
64
00:10:59,767 --> 00:11:02,142
It was an old book
by Izaak Walton
65
00:11:02,142 --> 00:11:03,641
called "The Complete Angler."
66
00:11:07,393 --> 00:11:10,391
It was like a romantic
nature bible to me.
67
00:11:21,476 --> 00:11:24,474
Maybe I know where to start.
68
00:11:28,017 --> 00:11:31,184
But if you're to understand, I'll...
69
00:11:31,184 --> 00:11:34,184
I'll have to tell you
the whole story.
70
00:11:34,184 --> 00:11:36,057
And it'll be long.
71
00:11:37,684 --> 00:11:40,099
Long is good.
72
00:11:41,142 --> 00:11:44,015
And moral, I'm afraid.
73
00:11:55,184 --> 00:11:57,226
To begin with the bait,
74
00:11:57,226 --> 00:12:00,182
I discovered my cunt
as a two-year-old.
75
00:12:00,809 --> 00:12:03,723
"Cunt" is a very strong word.
76
00:12:04,309 --> 00:12:07,268
Let's call it
"Pandora's Box" then.
77
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:11,351
Um... No, no, no.
"Cunt" is better.
78
00:12:11,351 --> 00:12:14,850
So, I was a nymphomaniac.
79
00:12:14,850 --> 00:12:17,476
Wait a moment, no.
Nobody can be a nymphomaniac
80
00:12:17,476 --> 00:12:19,101
when they're only two years old.
81
00:12:19,101 --> 00:12:20,725
I don't think even the strictest God
82
00:12:20,725 --> 00:12:24,349
would see anything else
than a child's normal behavior.
83
00:12:25,059 --> 00:12:27,517
What about fetuses?
It's common knowledge
84
00:12:27,517 --> 00:12:30,557
that fetuses often touch
their genital organs.
85
00:12:31,475 --> 00:12:34,057
Can a fetus somehow be sinful?
86
00:12:35,268 --> 00:12:37,142
Why not?
87
00:12:37,142 --> 00:12:39,475
Not according to any religion I know,
88
00:12:39,475 --> 00:12:42,101
unless it's an original sin.
89
00:12:42,101 --> 00:12:43,473
Ancestral.
90
00:12:46,184 --> 00:12:49,848
Or perhaps according to a religion
that doesn't exist yet.
91
00:12:50,475 --> 00:12:54,101
According to a god that hasn't
yet manifested himself.
92
00:12:54,101 --> 00:12:56,473
But then you can imagine anything.
93
00:13:01,475 --> 00:13:04,892
At an early age,
I was mechanically inclined.
94
00:13:04,892 --> 00:13:09,682
Kinetic energy, for example,
has always fascinated me.
95
00:13:10,392 --> 00:13:13,892
And my friend,
let's call her "B,"
96
00:13:13,892 --> 00:13:16,057
always came up with the ideas.
97
00:13:17,725 --> 00:13:21,140
Playing frogs was one
of B's classics.
98
00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:47,308
Joe, are you all right?
99
00:13:47,308 --> 00:13:49,182
Just a moment.
100
00:13:51,433 --> 00:13:52,765
Are you done?
101
00:14:03,475 --> 00:14:06,057
For Christ's sakes,
leave them alone.
102
00:14:07,184 --> 00:14:09,475
I loved my father very much.
103
00:14:09,475 --> 00:14:10,848
He was a doctor.
104
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:14,350
My mother's name was Katherine.
105
00:14:14,350 --> 00:14:16,390
My father called her Kay.
106
00:14:18,142 --> 00:14:21,723
I suppose she was what
you'd call "a cold bitch."
107
00:14:22,559 --> 00:14:26,433
She always had her back turned
when she played solitaire.
108
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:28,223
I hated solitaire.
109
00:14:34,809 --> 00:14:37,767
When we had P.E.,
I'd climb up into the ropes
110
00:14:37,767 --> 00:14:42,139
and hang there for ages
with the rope between my legs.
111
00:14:42,976 --> 00:14:45,809
"The Sensation" we called it.
112
00:14:45,809 --> 00:14:50,015
I remember very distinctly
this word, "sensation."
113
00:14:56,308 --> 00:15:00,308
Perhaps the only difference
between me and other people
114
00:15:00,308 --> 00:15:04,098
was that I've always demanded
more from the sunset.
115
00:15:04,934 --> 00:15:09,765
More spectacular colors
when the sun hit the horizon.
116
00:15:12,225 --> 00:15:14,181
That's perhaps my only sin.
117
00:15:17,767 --> 00:15:20,223
Why are you insisting
that children are sinful?
118
00:15:21,183 --> 00:15:22,892
Not children.
119
00:15:22,892 --> 00:15:23,807
Me.
120
00:15:25,559 --> 00:15:27,181
I don't see sin anywhere.
121
00:15:27,684 --> 00:15:29,809
But then I'm not religious.
122
00:15:29,809 --> 00:15:32,892
Well, that's because you don't
know the rest of the story.
123
00:15:32,892 --> 00:15:35,014
And by the way,
I'm not religious either.
124
00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:38,475
Why would you take the most
unsympathetic aspect
125
00:15:38,475 --> 00:15:41,890
of religion such as
the concept of sin...
126
00:15:42,850 --> 00:15:45,515
and let it survive beyond religion?
127
00:15:49,267 --> 00:15:51,807
I don't understand this self-hatred.
128
00:15:52,517 --> 00:15:54,267
Well, that's what I said.
129
00:15:54,267 --> 00:15:56,723
- You wouldn't understand.
- No, I'm...
130
00:15:58,016 --> 00:15:59,682
I'm sorry, I'll shut up.
131
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,098
Please continue.
132
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:21,014
Nervus... pudendus.
133
00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:30,098
Nervus dorsalis clitoridis.
134
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:19,600
When the ash tree was created,
135
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:22,306
it made all the other trees
in the forest jealous.
136
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,764
It was the most beautiful tree.
137
00:17:28,891 --> 00:17:31,014
You couldn't say
anything bad about it.
138
00:17:32,308 --> 00:17:36,058
It was the World Tree
in Norse mythology.
139
00:17:36,058 --> 00:17:38,808
Remember, Odin...
140
00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:42,267
He hung from the ash tree,
Yggdrasil, for nine days
141
00:17:42,267 --> 00:17:43,973
in order to gain insight.
142
00:17:46,475 --> 00:17:48,639
The ash tree had
the strongest wood.
143
00:17:54,016 --> 00:17:55,931
Then in the winter...
144
00:17:58,058 --> 00:18:00,473
when the ash tree
lost all of its leaves...
145
00:18:03,641 --> 00:18:06,308
all the trees noticed
its black buds,
146
00:18:06,308 --> 00:18:08,141
and started laughing.
147
00:18:08,141 --> 00:18:10,225
"Oh, look.
148
00:18:10,225 --> 00:18:14,014
The ash tree has had
its fingers in the ashes."
149
00:18:16,766 --> 00:18:17,889
See?
150
00:18:18,933 --> 00:18:21,933
You can always tell
the ash tree in winter
151
00:18:21,933 --> 00:18:23,014
by the black buds.
152
00:18:34,141 --> 00:18:35,514
Now...
153
00:18:36,933 --> 00:18:40,183
Now this is a lime tree leaf.
154
00:18:40,183 --> 00:18:43,475
- Remember?
- I forgot about the lime tree.
155
00:18:43,475 --> 00:18:45,597
I've told you 100 times.
156
00:18:46,141 --> 00:18:49,100
My dad loved
telling me about the trees,
157
00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:51,599
and their leaves,
and considered it
158
00:18:51,599 --> 00:18:53,514
part of a good education.
159
00:18:54,516 --> 00:18:58,683
He especially loved the childish
educational stories he told
160
00:18:58,683 --> 00:19:01,472
to help me remember
what I had learned.
161
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:05,183
I knew how much he loved
telling those stories.
162
00:19:05,183 --> 00:19:08,472
Sometimes I pretended
I'd forgotten them.
163
00:19:10,558 --> 00:19:14,223
Originally, the lime
tree's leaves were round.
164
00:19:15,891 --> 00:19:17,933
A fox had her den
beneath its roots
165
00:19:17,933 --> 00:19:19,597
where she had four cubs.
166
00:19:20,849 --> 00:19:23,223
One day, she went out
looking for food for them.
167
00:19:23,808 --> 00:19:26,306
There was a hunt in the forest.
She was shot.
168
00:19:26,891 --> 00:19:30,348
Wounded, she crawled back to the den
169
00:19:31,350 --> 00:19:33,639
where she and the four cubs died.
170
00:19:36,432 --> 00:19:38,597
This made the lime tree so sad.
171
00:19:39,267 --> 00:19:40,597
And from then on,
172
00:19:41,141 --> 00:19:43,847
the lime tree decided to have...
173
00:19:45,349 --> 00:19:47,265
heart-shaped leaves.
174
00:19:49,058 --> 00:19:52,514
Oh, yes, that's right.
Heart-shaped.
175
00:19:58,307 --> 00:20:00,100
Am I boring you?
176
00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:02,599
No, no. I'm just
looking forward
177
00:20:02,599 --> 00:20:05,225
to how you'll get fishing
weaved into your tale.
178
00:20:05,225 --> 00:20:09,307
You could start with the fly
on the wall there.
179
00:20:09,307 --> 00:20:11,014
It's called a nymph.
180
00:20:11,766 --> 00:20:13,766
It will tie in elegantly
with your discussion
181
00:20:13,766 --> 00:20:18,891
about nymphomania.
A nymph is an early stage
182
00:20:18,891 --> 00:20:20,722
in the life of an insect.
183
00:20:22,849 --> 00:20:25,181
As a quite young nymph,
184
00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:29,181
it was imperative for me
to get rid of my virginity.
185
00:20:30,058 --> 00:20:31,222
Hopla.
186
00:20:32,016 --> 00:20:34,558
I kind of knew this boy, J,
187
00:20:34,558 --> 00:20:36,639
who had a moped.
188
00:20:37,349 --> 00:20:39,556
So in my eyes he was
rather sophisticated.
189
00:20:40,975 --> 00:20:42,641
I was 15,
190
00:20:42,641 --> 00:20:45,349
and perhaps my girlish,
romantic expectations
191
00:20:45,349 --> 00:20:46,847
were a bit high.
192
00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:52,681
But he had good, strong hands.
193
00:20:55,182 --> 00:20:56,764
I liked his hands.
194
00:21:03,683 --> 00:21:05,014
Hello?
195
00:21:05,891 --> 00:21:07,597
- Hi.
- Hi.
196
00:21:21,724 --> 00:21:24,847
If I asked you to take my virginity
would that be a problem?
197
00:21:27,099 --> 00:21:28,722
No, I don't see a problem.
198
00:21:33,266 --> 00:21:34,556
So, um...
199
00:21:37,057 --> 00:21:38,681
Where shall I go?
200
00:22:07,683 --> 00:22:09,556
It's the fucking carburetor.
201
00:22:11,724 --> 00:22:13,681
I just can't work it out,
you imagine that?
202
00:22:16,266 --> 00:22:18,724
- That's not very good.
- Hmm?
203
00:22:18,724 --> 00:22:20,808
- It's not very good.
- No, it bloody isn't.
204
00:22:20,808 --> 00:22:22,847
Ruins the whole idea
of having a moped.
205
00:22:26,349 --> 00:22:28,806
You should probably take off
your knickers, yeah?
206
00:23:13,932 --> 00:23:17,430
He shoved his cock
inside me and humped me three times.
207
00:23:26,015 --> 00:23:29,264
Then he turned
me over like a sack of potatoes.
208
00:23:37,015 --> 00:23:39,930
Then he humped me
five times in the ass.
209
00:24:47,099 --> 00:24:49,680
I never forgot those
two humiliating numbers.
210
00:24:52,015 --> 00:24:53,557
Three and five?
211
00:24:53,557 --> 00:24:55,138
Those are Fibonacci numbers.
212
00:24:59,391 --> 00:25:00,723
That may be.
213
00:25:00,723 --> 00:25:02,805
In any case, it hurt like hell.
214
00:25:03,432 --> 00:25:06,723
I swore I'd never sleep
with anyone again.
215
00:25:06,723 --> 00:25:10,055
But of course that only
lasted a short while.
216
00:25:10,557 --> 00:25:13,515
And now to get back
to your fishing.
217
00:25:13,515 --> 00:25:16,515
A couple of years later,
218
00:25:16,515 --> 00:25:18,765
I was at my friend B's,
219
00:25:18,765 --> 00:25:21,432
and as always,
she had a new idea,
220
00:25:21,432 --> 00:25:24,932
financed by her younger
brother's piggy banks
221
00:25:24,932 --> 00:25:26,972
which she regularly emptied.
222
00:25:32,057 --> 00:25:34,389
We put on clothes later known as
223
00:25:35,099 --> 00:25:37,389
the "fuck me now" clothes.
224
00:25:38,431 --> 00:25:41,349
The idea was a competition.
225
00:25:41,349 --> 00:25:44,015
We were to go on a train trip.
226
00:25:44,015 --> 00:25:46,888
B said there was
no need for tickets.
227
00:25:47,848 --> 00:25:50,099
The one who would fuck
the most men
228
00:25:50,099 --> 00:25:52,431
when we reached the destination
229
00:25:52,431 --> 00:25:54,471
would win the chocolate sweets.
230
00:26:18,057 --> 00:26:19,513
May I interrupt here?
231
00:26:20,932 --> 00:26:23,680
What you were doing when you
walked down that corridor.
232
00:26:24,182 --> 00:26:25,763
You were reading the river.
233
00:26:39,224 --> 00:26:42,848
Most of the large
fish stay sheltered from the current
234
00:26:42,848 --> 00:26:45,222
to save energy,
and to hide from the prey.
235
00:26:46,265 --> 00:26:47,890
Where the fish hides in the stream
236
00:26:47,890 --> 00:26:50,013
entails a very
complicated hierarchy.
237
00:26:51,974 --> 00:26:55,515
The topography decides where
the most attractive places are,
238
00:26:55,515 --> 00:26:57,805
and the biggest fish
choose the best positions.
239
00:27:06,265 --> 00:27:08,057
What do I do?
240
00:27:08,057 --> 00:27:10,431
Smile and make eye contact.
241
00:27:10,431 --> 00:27:12,471
But what if it doesn't work?
242
00:27:12,974 --> 00:27:15,974
If you have to talk, remember
to ask lots of "wh" questions
243
00:27:15,974 --> 00:27:17,723
if you want more than
a yes or no answer.
244
00:27:17,723 --> 00:27:19,181
Then it'll just happen on its own.
245
00:27:19,181 --> 00:27:22,640
You just take them to the lavatory
and you have sex with them.
246
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:25,974
Oh. What if it's nasty?
247
00:27:25,974 --> 00:27:28,513
Then you just think of the bag
of chocolate sweeties.
248
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:03,846
What... What time is it?
249
00:28:06,181 --> 00:28:07,179
Ten.
250
00:28:22,223 --> 00:28:24,513
Where do you come from?
251
00:28:25,932 --> 00:28:27,304
From home.
252
00:28:34,807 --> 00:28:37,346
Who knows where
the lavatory is?
253
00:28:38,306 --> 00:28:40,890
Well, if you take a right,
you will arrive at a lavatory
254
00:28:40,890 --> 00:28:42,515
at the end of the car.
255
00:28:42,515 --> 00:28:45,640
At the same time it is
so cleverly arranged
256
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:50,348
that if you take a left turn you
will also arrive at a lavatory
257
00:28:50,348 --> 00:28:53,096
since at the end of the next car
there is also one.
258
00:29:12,390 --> 00:29:13,929
Let me show you
where the lavatory is.
259
00:29:45,806 --> 00:29:48,221
It turned out to be
shockingly easy.
260
00:29:49,014 --> 00:29:52,723
In no time,
B was ahead five to three.
261
00:29:52,723 --> 00:29:54,431
And it was exactly right.
262
00:29:54,431 --> 00:29:56,887
Look them in the eye and smile.
263
00:29:58,056 --> 00:30:00,473
But then suddenly, it stopped.
264
00:30:00,473 --> 00:30:03,762
That's a very clear parallel
to fishing in the stream.
265
00:30:04,598 --> 00:30:08,431
As it happens, either none
of the fish are feeding,
266
00:30:08,431 --> 00:30:10,139
or they all feed
at the same time.
267
00:30:10,139 --> 00:30:13,847
They go into feeding frenzy.
All bite.
268
00:30:13,847 --> 00:30:16,596
And then just as suddenly
as it started, it stops.
269
00:30:17,764 --> 00:30:21,931
It's observable, but it's
highly unpredictable.
270
00:30:21,931 --> 00:30:24,515
And it has to do with,
I don't know,
271
00:30:24,515 --> 00:30:27,390
weather, barometric pressure,
272
00:30:27,390 --> 00:30:32,931
maybe some fish psychology.
If that's possible.
273
00:30:32,931 --> 00:30:36,973
Anyway, the fish most readily bite
at the beginning of a light rain,
274
00:30:36,973 --> 00:30:39,515
and I think that's because
they feel safe
275
00:30:39,515 --> 00:30:41,722
when they swim in the stream.
276
00:30:41,722 --> 00:30:43,764
Because they can't be seen
from above.
277
00:30:43,764 --> 00:30:46,054
The water's surface is disturbed.
278
00:30:48,431 --> 00:30:50,557
But then it started again.
279
00:30:50,557 --> 00:30:53,181
Although, a bit more slowly.
280
00:30:53,181 --> 00:30:55,931
Yeah. I think I know how.
281
00:30:55,931 --> 00:30:59,265
Because fly fishing can be
done in several phases.
282
00:30:59,265 --> 00:31:03,639
And if the fish stop biting,
you move on to phase two.
283
00:31:03,639 --> 00:31:07,098
And in phase two, you not
only imitate an insect,
284
00:31:07,098 --> 00:31:09,554
but an insect in trouble.
285
00:31:10,390 --> 00:31:12,556
You pull... You pull the line.
286
00:31:12,556 --> 00:31:16,722
You tug it irregularly,
so the fish gets the impression
287
00:31:16,722 --> 00:31:19,762
that it's dealing with
an injured and easy prey.
288
00:31:20,597 --> 00:31:25,014
And then helplessly, let the fly
float down the river again.
289
00:31:25,014 --> 00:31:28,762
Then half-heartedly,
make a few jumps forward again.
290
00:31:31,306 --> 00:31:34,512
It can be done... It can
be done very elegantly.
291
00:31:48,306 --> 00:31:49,388
Hey.
292
00:31:50,348 --> 00:31:51,554
Sorry.
293
00:31:52,472 --> 00:31:54,595
Nothing to feel sorry about.
294
00:31:56,014 --> 00:31:58,470
I'm just not feeling
very well today.
295
00:31:59,223 --> 00:32:01,054
What could be so bad?
296
00:32:02,139 --> 00:32:04,137
Oh, thank you.
297
00:32:05,973 --> 00:32:09,389
I can't talk about it right now.
298
00:32:09,389 --> 00:32:11,887
Can I just sit here
for awhile?
299
00:32:13,014 --> 00:32:14,971
Yeah. Sure.
300
00:32:20,597 --> 00:32:22,347
Is it better now?
301
00:32:22,347 --> 00:32:24,012
No.
302
00:32:35,681 --> 00:32:39,263
- Are you all right?
- It's Betty.
303
00:32:41,389 --> 00:32:43,472
I was just told
that she's very ill.
304
00:32:43,472 --> 00:32:46,387
Is Betty a close family member?
305
00:32:49,098 --> 00:32:51,514
You could say that.
306
00:32:51,514 --> 00:32:53,847
She's my dwarf hamster.
307
00:32:53,847 --> 00:32:57,639
Dwarf hamster?
You can't be serious.
308
00:32:57,639 --> 00:32:59,847
Well, what was I to do?
309
00:32:59,847 --> 00:33:03,639
And then, I did have a dwarf
hamster when I was young.
310
00:33:03,639 --> 00:33:05,806
That you were very close to?
311
00:33:05,806 --> 00:33:08,514
Not at all.
A bloody nuisance.
312
00:33:08,514 --> 00:33:11,428
Dwarf hamster?
That's not so bad.
313
00:33:13,181 --> 00:33:15,389
Would have been worse
if it were a person.
314
00:33:15,389 --> 00:33:17,514
Don't say that.
315
00:33:17,514 --> 00:33:20,764
I'm extremely fond of my hamster.
316
00:33:20,764 --> 00:33:25,181
Yes, I think that's a rather
cynical thing to say about Betty.
317
00:33:25,181 --> 00:33:29,305
Yes, I made the cage nice
and cozy for her when...
318
00:33:29,305 --> 00:33:31,679
- When I got her.
- I bet she liked that.
319
00:33:33,222 --> 00:33:34,512
Betty was excited.
320
00:33:36,389 --> 00:33:39,428
One of nature's
most meaningless creatures.
321
00:33:40,264 --> 00:33:42,764
You're aware that
the choice of a dwarf hamster
322
00:33:42,764 --> 00:33:46,264
possibly suggests certain
sexual connotations.
323
00:33:46,264 --> 00:33:47,681
I can see that now
324
00:33:47,681 --> 00:33:50,595
but it was really not
a conscious choice.
325
00:33:51,764 --> 00:33:55,180
How long does a dwarf hamster
actually live?
326
00:33:55,180 --> 00:33:57,262
Months, years?
327
00:33:58,138 --> 00:34:00,136
Its life is much too short.
328
00:34:08,056 --> 00:34:11,012
Would you show me
where the lavatory is?
329
00:34:12,180 --> 00:34:15,136
I... have to blow my nose.
330
00:34:34,347 --> 00:34:36,764
Just the same,
we were running out of subjects,
331
00:34:36,764 --> 00:34:39,472
and B was ahead on points,
332
00:34:39,472 --> 00:34:43,095
which led us to S's
first-class compartment.
333
00:34:47,556 --> 00:34:49,011
Tickets, please.
334
00:34:55,013 --> 00:34:57,345
Thank you. Ladies?
335
00:34:59,013 --> 00:35:00,011
Tickets.
336
00:35:10,597 --> 00:35:12,512
Well...
337
00:35:14,264 --> 00:35:16,305
I think I might have lost it.
338
00:35:16,305 --> 00:35:17,970
Perhaps.
339
00:35:19,389 --> 00:35:21,387
Drop yours as well, did you?
340
00:35:22,013 --> 00:35:25,345
I haven't bought a ticket
for your shitty train.
341
00:35:25,972 --> 00:35:28,097
It's so bloody slow,
we should have been
342
00:35:28,097 --> 00:35:29,972
at the end of the track
half an hour ago.
343
00:35:29,972 --> 00:35:32,845
Regardless of delays, you still
need a ticket, sweetheart.
344
00:35:33,639 --> 00:35:35,262
Eight pounds each, please.
345
00:35:37,389 --> 00:35:39,556
Ooh!
346
00:35:39,556 --> 00:35:42,681
I accidentally tore it up.
347
00:35:42,681 --> 00:35:45,178
Can't expect me to pay
for scraps of paper.
348
00:35:45,722 --> 00:35:48,055
- Have another one.
- Oh, great idea.
349
00:35:48,055 --> 00:35:50,764
Oh, that one's disappeared too.
350
00:35:50,764 --> 00:35:52,264
I can always just get the police
351
00:35:52,264 --> 00:35:54,430
to collect your payment
at the next station...
352
00:35:54,430 --> 00:35:56,972
Let's just take it easy here,
shall we?
353
00:35:56,972 --> 00:35:59,846
Apparently, the young ladies
have left without any money.
354
00:35:59,846 --> 00:36:01,805
If it's okay with you, I'd like
to pay for their tickets.
355
00:36:01,805 --> 00:36:04,764
No, sir, it's not.
Leave your money where it is.
356
00:36:04,764 --> 00:36:06,556
We'll let the police
deal with these two.
357
00:36:06,556 --> 00:36:08,264
We did have sort of an agreement
358
00:36:08,264 --> 00:36:10,262
that I was to pay.
I just forgot about it.
359
00:36:13,930 --> 00:36:17,805
I see. Two first-class tickets...
360
00:36:17,805 --> 00:36:20,262
for two first-class ladies.
361
00:36:21,930 --> 00:36:23,803
Enjoy the rest of your journey.
362
00:36:26,055 --> 00:36:27,719
Tickets, please.
363
00:36:36,222 --> 00:36:39,303
Now that you've been
so nice to us...
364
00:36:41,347 --> 00:36:43,930
we'd like to be nice to you, too.
365
00:36:43,930 --> 00:36:46,387
Oh, that's very kind of you,
but there's no need.
366
00:36:51,305 --> 00:36:52,595
I mean that.
367
00:36:56,888 --> 00:36:59,097
You have to split them up
into whether they have
368
00:36:59,097 --> 00:37:01,220
a goal and a mission or not.
369
00:37:02,347 --> 00:37:03,636
That one doesn't.
370
00:37:04,264 --> 00:37:06,262
Well, I've already lost anyway.
371
00:37:08,264 --> 00:37:11,886
I'm willing to give you
five extra points...
372
00:37:14,472 --> 00:37:16,719
if you can get that one in there.
373
00:37:19,138 --> 00:37:21,972
I decided,
perhaps a bit desperately,
374
00:37:21,972 --> 00:37:24,222
that the only thing
standing between me
375
00:37:24,222 --> 00:37:26,138
and the bag of chocolate sweets,
376
00:37:26,138 --> 00:37:30,596
was an unequivocal provocation
of this man.
377
00:37:30,596 --> 00:37:34,013
Excellent. An induced take.
378
00:37:34,013 --> 00:37:37,222
When all other attempts fail,
a dramatic provocation
379
00:37:37,222 --> 00:37:40,930
can get an otherwise completely
passive fish to bite.
380
00:37:40,930 --> 00:37:42,805
A salmon or a trout,
for example,
381
00:37:42,805 --> 00:37:45,389
eats itself fat
while in salt water,
382
00:37:45,389 --> 00:37:47,472
and then basically
has no need to eat
383
00:37:47,472 --> 00:37:51,347
as it makes its way upstream
to the spawning grounds.
384
00:37:51,347 --> 00:37:53,721
They're not hungry but they
will react instinctively
385
00:37:53,721 --> 00:37:55,470
to the right provocation.
386
00:37:56,347 --> 00:37:58,347
Which would not be a fly,
but for instance,
387
00:37:58,347 --> 00:38:02,055
a brightly colored wobbler,
preferably red,
388
00:38:02,055 --> 00:38:04,972
served immediately
in front of the fish.
389
00:38:04,972 --> 00:38:08,471
The very best is one we call
the Finnish Weapon.
390
00:38:08,471 --> 00:38:10,345
The so-called "Rappala."
391
00:38:13,264 --> 00:38:15,138
I don't know if it's comparable,
392
00:38:15,138 --> 00:38:18,180
but I decided in any case
to find out
393
00:38:18,180 --> 00:38:20,264
why he hadn't taken the bait,
394
00:38:20,264 --> 00:38:22,805
and to use my
psychological abilities,
395
00:38:22,805 --> 00:38:26,719
which B, in my opinion,
didn't possess to the same degree.
396
00:38:27,972 --> 00:38:30,095
You've bought a gift.
397
00:38:31,721 --> 00:38:32,636
Yes.
398
00:38:34,305 --> 00:38:35,844
It's for my wife.
399
00:38:37,347 --> 00:38:41,345
- No gifts for the children?
- No.
400
00:38:42,555 --> 00:38:44,636
We don't have any, actually.
401
00:38:45,513 --> 00:38:48,594
Well, you seem rather well-to-do.
402
00:38:50,346 --> 00:38:55,222
You travel first-class,
and you bought us our tickets.
403
00:38:55,222 --> 00:38:59,264
Why then not buy a decent gift
for your wife?
404
00:38:59,264 --> 00:39:02,011
I can see it comes
from the station.
405
00:39:08,429 --> 00:39:10,097
Of course I should have...
406
00:39:10,097 --> 00:39:12,304
bought her something...
407
00:39:12,304 --> 00:39:14,011
something better, but...
408
00:39:15,180 --> 00:39:18,220
Let's just say I was suddenly
in a hurry to get home.
409
00:39:19,222 --> 00:39:22,097
Why would a man like you
410
00:39:22,097 --> 00:39:25,220
with such an orderly life
suddenly have to hurry?
411
00:39:28,972 --> 00:39:30,886
It has to do with family.
412
00:39:33,513 --> 00:39:36,011
My wife and I have decided
that we...
413
00:39:38,972 --> 00:39:41,302
we miss having children, after all.
414
00:39:41,972 --> 00:39:44,761
And that if we are to have children,
it has to be now.
415
00:39:47,555 --> 00:39:49,844
So my wife called yesterday
to say that she...
416
00:39:51,221 --> 00:39:52,678
She started ovulating.
417
00:39:54,763 --> 00:39:58,886
And all signs point to maximum
fertility precisely tonight.
418
00:39:59,972 --> 00:40:01,053
You see?
419
00:40:02,013 --> 00:40:04,721
That's why I bought her
a gift at the station.
420
00:40:04,721 --> 00:40:07,427
I had to get a ticket home
as quickly as possible.
421
00:40:09,221 --> 00:40:14,263
- Well, I understand now.
- What is it you understand?
422
00:40:14,263 --> 00:40:16,678
Why you didn't have sex with us.
423
00:40:20,263 --> 00:40:23,055
It wasn't because I didn't want to.
424
00:40:23,055 --> 00:40:27,055
So you've been saving your sperm.
425
00:40:27,055 --> 00:40:31,930
For weeks. I mean,
you and your wife are...
426
00:40:31,930 --> 00:40:35,221
seem to be at an age
where every attempt
427
00:40:35,221 --> 00:40:39,469
to become pregnant has to be
taken very seriously.
428
00:40:41,429 --> 00:40:43,427
Right now, my...
429
00:40:45,513 --> 00:40:49,553
My sperm quality
is at its peak, I'm told.
430
00:41:04,012 --> 00:41:05,594
Please...
431
00:41:09,388 --> 00:41:11,886
I'm begging you, please don't.
432
00:41:12,763 --> 00:41:13,678
It's okay.
433
00:41:15,012 --> 00:41:16,261
Please don't.
434
00:41:18,763 --> 00:41:21,135
You've been as horny as hell.
435
00:41:22,179 --> 00:41:24,135
But you wouldn't
give up your load.
436
00:41:24,888 --> 00:41:26,135
Please don't.
437
00:41:36,012 --> 00:41:37,927
Oh, fuck.
438
00:42:17,971 --> 00:42:19,052
Wow.
439
00:42:31,596 --> 00:42:35,471
In your case, it wasn't
the taste of a Madeleine cake,
440
00:42:35,471 --> 00:42:37,346
moistened with lime blossom tea,
441
00:42:37,346 --> 00:42:40,344
but the combination
of chocolate and sperm.
442
00:42:41,388 --> 00:42:42,469
What?
443
00:42:43,054 --> 00:42:48,094
That was a piece of
culturally blasphemic digression.
444
00:42:50,054 --> 00:42:51,971
It's a story about memory.
445
00:42:51,971 --> 00:42:54,012
How the combination
of two flavors
446
00:42:54,012 --> 00:42:56,094
set off a chain of memories.
447
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:02,929
So oral sex became,
in the eye of the angler,
448
00:43:02,929 --> 00:43:07,720
your... your Finnish weapon.
449
00:43:07,720 --> 00:43:09,718
Is that your only comment?
450
00:43:11,679 --> 00:43:13,760
What else... What else
do you want me to say?
451
00:43:15,720 --> 00:43:17,718
That I behaved reprehensibly.
452
00:43:19,054 --> 00:43:21,263
That already my actions exemplify
453
00:43:21,263 --> 00:43:24,261
that I'm a...
I'm a terrible human being.
454
00:43:25,304 --> 00:43:27,804
That's not the way I see it.
455
00:43:27,804 --> 00:43:30,388
On the contrary, I saw it as a...
456
00:43:30,388 --> 00:43:32,927
A very pleasurable
and humorous story.
457
00:43:33,762 --> 00:43:37,469
Not at all sad, or...
or weighed down by sin.
458
00:43:38,096 --> 00:43:39,637
Like all that talk
about Pandora's Box.
459
00:43:39,637 --> 00:43:43,679
I've consciously used
and hurt others...
460
00:43:43,679 --> 00:43:46,511
for the sake of
my own satisfaction.
461
00:43:47,346 --> 00:43:50,137
And what I've told you so far
only begins to suggest that.
462
00:43:50,137 --> 00:43:52,929
But when you told the story,
you were cheerful.
463
00:43:52,929 --> 00:43:54,177
Full of humor.
464
00:43:54,762 --> 00:43:58,554
It wasn't as if you embarked
on some tragic tale.
465
00:43:58,554 --> 00:44:00,635
Well, that's the way I am.
466
00:44:02,762 --> 00:44:06,304
I've always loved
the chills at the start of a fever,
467
00:44:06,304 --> 00:44:09,593
knowing only too well that
sickness will soon follow.
468
00:44:16,346 --> 00:44:18,429
The only thing you've done,
469
00:44:18,429 --> 00:44:21,471
except giving a few people
an experience to remember,
470
00:44:21,471 --> 00:44:22,971
is that you...
471
00:44:22,971 --> 00:44:25,427
You relieved S from his load
472
00:44:26,096 --> 00:44:28,510
in some... some youthful hubris.
473
00:44:30,804 --> 00:44:33,762
I read somewhere that if you
keep the load too long
474
00:44:33,762 --> 00:44:35,263
the sperm will die.
475
00:44:35,263 --> 00:44:37,510
Or worse, degenerate.
476
00:44:38,845 --> 00:44:41,263
Maybe thanks to you,
Mr. S and his wife
477
00:44:41,263 --> 00:44:43,718
now have a healthy
and well-functioning child.
478
00:44:45,595 --> 00:44:48,346
I discovered my power as a woman
479
00:44:48,346 --> 00:44:50,802
and used it without
any concern for others.
480
00:44:51,804 --> 00:44:53,428
That's completely unacceptable.
481
00:44:53,428 --> 00:44:55,720
Oh, little darling...
482
00:44:55,720 --> 00:44:57,344
Don't you "little darling" me.
483
00:45:00,346 --> 00:45:01,094
No.
484
00:45:04,096 --> 00:45:06,010
What I wanted to say was that
485
00:45:06,929 --> 00:45:08,760
if you have wings, why not fly?
486
00:45:10,346 --> 00:45:11,552
Allow me to digress.
487
00:45:12,179 --> 00:45:14,971
I read a book about
Sikorski and helicopters
488
00:45:14,971 --> 00:45:16,887
where the author
stressed the fact that
489
00:45:16,887 --> 00:45:20,345
in order to take off, you tilt
the helicopter forward.
490
00:45:20,345 --> 00:45:22,428
It looks like you're trying
to force the helicopter
491
00:45:22,428 --> 00:45:26,679
down into the ground,
but the effect is the contrary.
492
00:45:26,679 --> 00:45:28,720
That the velocity
takes the helicopter
493
00:45:28,720 --> 00:45:32,554
and sweeps it up in the air.
494
00:45:32,554 --> 00:45:35,385
The pilots say the helicopter
wants to fly.
495
00:45:37,221 --> 00:45:39,387
It's like when you're
in a glider plane,
496
00:45:39,387 --> 00:45:42,387
and suddenly you're lifted,
497
00:45:42,387 --> 00:45:46,221
because of the spontaneous
emission of thermals.
498
00:45:46,221 --> 00:45:51,512
Thermals is when the sun
is warming up the field,
499
00:45:51,512 --> 00:45:55,635
and it emits a thermal bubble
of warm air that rises.
500
00:45:56,512 --> 00:45:58,929
These aircraft, they want to fly.
501
00:45:58,929 --> 00:46:01,177
It's just a little
unpredictable when.
502
00:46:03,387 --> 00:46:05,969
You flew on that... on that train.
503
00:46:07,345 --> 00:46:09,593
And that surprised you.
504
00:46:44,554 --> 00:46:46,176
No more stories.
505
00:46:48,512 --> 00:46:50,052
You need to sleep.
506
00:46:50,720 --> 00:46:52,093
No, no.
507
00:46:52,762 --> 00:46:54,927
This is beginning to amuse me.
508
00:47:01,637 --> 00:47:03,510
I don't even know your name.
509
00:47:05,220 --> 00:47:06,510
My name is Joe.
510
00:47:07,929 --> 00:47:09,468
I'm Seligman.
511
00:47:11,136 --> 00:47:13,176
What a fucking ridiculous name.
512
00:47:15,637 --> 00:47:17,093
It's Jewish.
513
00:47:18,220 --> 00:47:19,887
You said you weren't religious.
514
00:47:19,887 --> 00:47:22,345
No, but my great-grandfather was.
515
00:47:22,345 --> 00:47:25,426
And my parents gave me
the name as a sort of...
516
00:47:26,470 --> 00:47:28,885
sentimental association to Judaism.
517
00:47:32,804 --> 00:47:37,845
Why let the sentimental part
of religion, as you said,
518
00:47:37,845 --> 00:47:40,885
outlive religion itself?
519
00:47:44,262 --> 00:47:45,677
You have a point.
520
00:47:48,554 --> 00:47:51,593
But we've always been anti-Zionists,
521
00:47:53,220 --> 00:47:55,468
which is not the same
as being anti-Semitic,
522
00:47:56,762 --> 00:47:59,385
as certain political powers
try to convince us.
523
00:48:00,387 --> 00:48:01,802
Seligman...
524
00:48:02,845 --> 00:48:05,385
means "the happy one."
525
00:48:08,679 --> 00:48:10,343
So, are you happy then?
526
00:48:13,303 --> 00:48:15,051
Well, I suppose I am.
527
00:48:17,011 --> 00:48:18,635
In my own way.
528
00:48:19,303 --> 00:48:20,720
Even if I'm the kind of person
529
00:48:20,720 --> 00:48:23,053
who cut the nails
of the right hand first.
530
00:48:23,053 --> 00:48:24,468
What does that mean?
531
00:48:25,387 --> 00:48:27,679
Well, I divide humanity
into two groups:
532
00:48:27,679 --> 00:48:30,637
the people who cut the nails
on the left hand first,
533
00:48:30,637 --> 00:48:33,593
and the people who cut the nails
of the right hand first.
534
00:48:34,554 --> 00:48:36,554
My theory is that the people
who cut the nails
535
00:48:36,554 --> 00:48:39,886
of the left hand first,
they're more light-hearted.
536
00:48:39,886 --> 00:48:42,301
They have a tendency
to enjoy life more,
537
00:48:42,803 --> 00:48:45,801
because they go straight
for the easiest task, and...
538
00:48:46,512 --> 00:48:49,301
save the difficulties for later.
539
00:48:55,095 --> 00:48:59,387
- So what do you do?
- Always the left hand first.
540
00:48:59,387 --> 00:49:01,218
I don't think there's a choice.
541
00:49:01,970 --> 00:49:05,345
Go for the pleasure first, always.
542
00:49:05,345 --> 00:49:08,595
And then when you've
done the left hand,
543
00:49:08,595 --> 00:49:10,301
only the right hand remains.
544
00:49:11,011 --> 00:49:13,593
That's the easiest one left.
545
00:49:20,803 --> 00:49:23,009
I never thought of it like that.
546
00:49:25,844 --> 00:49:27,759
Well, you're never too old.
547
00:49:28,595 --> 00:49:29,884
Never too old to learn.
548
00:49:38,345 --> 00:49:40,678
That's rugelach.
549
00:49:40,678 --> 00:49:43,178
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, it's a Jewish cake.
550
00:49:43,178 --> 00:49:46,761
- There's that sentimentality again.
- Oh, but it's more than rugelach.
551
00:49:46,761 --> 00:49:49,426
It's rugelach served
with a cake fork.
552
00:49:50,970 --> 00:49:54,136
A rugelach, in my opinion, is pastry,
553
00:49:54,136 --> 00:49:57,303
which there is no excuse
for eating with a cake fork.
554
00:49:57,303 --> 00:50:01,262
To serve it with a cake fork
is irritatingly unmanly,
555
00:50:01,262 --> 00:50:04,093
not to say downright feminine.
556
00:50:06,262 --> 00:50:10,009
However, it can bring us
further with the story.
557
00:50:11,470 --> 00:50:16,512
I also knew someone who
consumed rugelach every day,
558
00:50:16,512 --> 00:50:19,260
almost ritually,
with a cake fork.
559
00:50:20,053 --> 00:50:22,759
And although we'll be
jumping a bit in time,
560
00:50:24,636 --> 00:50:26,801
I have to tell you about Jerome.
561
00:50:27,512 --> 00:50:29,303
As far as I can see,
the next chapter
562
00:50:29,303 --> 00:50:31,970
doesn't contain
as direct an accusation
563
00:50:31,970 --> 00:50:35,594
against my person
as the rest of the story.
564
00:50:35,594 --> 00:50:38,553
But as you've read
a great deal, apparently,
565
00:50:38,553 --> 00:50:41,178
you know that in a story
things have to be good
566
00:50:41,178 --> 00:50:42,968
before they can be bad.
567
00:50:47,136 --> 00:50:51,095
The chapter will also make
a sentimental soul like you happy
568
00:50:51,095 --> 00:50:55,676
as it contains observations
on the subject of love.
569
00:52:13,803 --> 00:52:15,717
Can I tell you something?
570
00:52:17,803 --> 00:52:19,884
Sure.
571
00:52:20,678 --> 00:52:23,011
- Yeah.
- Yeah, sure.
572
00:52:23,011 --> 00:52:24,886
It might not be important to you...
573
00:52:24,886 --> 00:52:27,551
But it is to me.
574
00:52:29,178 --> 00:52:31,259
I've never had an orgasm before.
575
00:52:34,844 --> 00:52:36,592
Really?
576
00:52:41,053 --> 00:52:42,592
You're my first one.
577
00:52:45,386 --> 00:52:47,134
You don't know how happy
that makes me.
578
00:52:51,719 --> 00:52:52,926
I love you.
579
00:52:58,219 --> 00:53:00,093
You're my first.
580
00:53:04,511 --> 00:53:06,051
Well, I have to admit,
581
00:53:06,761 --> 00:53:08,509
quite a lot of girls say that.
582
00:53:11,511 --> 00:53:14,594
The train trip
had increased my appetite,
583
00:53:14,594 --> 00:53:17,135
and soon B and I started a club
584
00:53:17,135 --> 00:53:19,842
that we called
"The Little Flock."
585
00:53:21,302 --> 00:53:24,803
Mea vulva, mea maxima vulva.
586
00:53:24,803 --> 00:53:26,177
B, of course, took the lead
587
00:53:26,177 --> 00:53:27,968
as she was the most
daring of us.
588
00:53:28,928 --> 00:53:31,719
She was raised Catholic.
I'm sure you're familiar
589
00:53:31,719 --> 00:53:34,636
with the practices
of the Catholic Church.
590
00:53:34,636 --> 00:53:38,928
...mea maxima vulva.
Mea vulva, mea...
591
00:53:38,928 --> 00:53:40,553
That's interesting.
592
00:53:40,553 --> 00:53:43,634
Blasphemic, satanic.
593
00:53:45,135 --> 00:53:49,052
The music. The interval
between "B" and "F."
594
00:53:49,052 --> 00:53:51,801
It's a tritone.
The devil’s interval.
595
00:53:52,970 --> 00:53:55,342
It was banned from music
in the Middle Ages.
596
00:53:56,803 --> 00:53:59,511
Well, the Vacuum Cleaner invented it.
597
00:53:59,511 --> 00:54:01,384
She took piano lessons.
598
00:54:02,219 --> 00:54:03,678
Vacuum Cleaner?
599
00:54:03,678 --> 00:54:07,509
The Vacuum Cleaner possessed
a special talent for floppy cocks.
600
00:54:08,844 --> 00:54:11,634
She had some kind of vacuum
in her cunt.
601
00:54:12,177 --> 00:54:14,511
I was imagining something like that.
602
00:54:14,511 --> 00:54:17,427
Fourteenth of the eighth.
603
00:54:17,427 --> 00:54:20,135
I was at a place called The Donkey.
604
00:54:20,135 --> 00:54:23,344
The boys were staring,
University hangout.
605
00:54:23,344 --> 00:54:25,427
I approached the stupidest
one of the lot
606
00:54:25,427 --> 00:54:28,010
and asked for directions
to the underground.
607
00:54:28,010 --> 00:54:29,801
He studied literature.
608
00:54:30,344 --> 00:54:34,010
I told him I read a lot,
and that I really admired people
609
00:54:34,010 --> 00:54:36,259
that chose to study subjects
in depth.
610
00:54:37,344 --> 00:54:39,636
As I said, he was very stupid.
611
00:54:39,636 --> 00:54:41,427
Told me all about Kierkegaard.
612
00:54:41,427 --> 00:54:43,261
I nodded, smiled.
613
00:54:43,261 --> 00:54:44,885
Then he asked
if we could go elsewhere.
614
00:54:44,885 --> 00:54:48,467
The idiot thought he'd pulled me
after five minutes of his bullshit.
615
00:54:49,052 --> 00:54:51,092
I told him I was on my period,
616
00:54:52,469 --> 00:54:55,133
and I took out his cock
and gave him a hand job.
617
00:54:57,302 --> 00:55:00,217
Ugly, little shriveled cock,
with a tight foreskin.
618
00:55:01,803 --> 00:55:03,761
When I pulled it back,
it sort of collapsed
619
00:55:03,761 --> 00:55:07,885
but it worked in the end.
University boys are disgusting.
620
00:55:07,885 --> 00:55:10,219
And then I jacked him off
until he shook
621
00:55:10,219 --> 00:55:13,259
in that way they do, you know.
Just before they come.
622
00:55:14,052 --> 00:55:16,219
Then I let go of his cock and got up.
623
00:55:16,219 --> 00:55:19,969
I left him standing up against the wall
624
00:55:19,969 --> 00:55:23,384
with his pants round his ankles
looking stunned.
625
00:55:25,344 --> 00:55:29,261
Now, B's message wasn't
exactly representational.
626
00:55:29,261 --> 00:55:31,551
She just had to be the tough one.
627
00:55:33,469 --> 00:55:35,133
It was directed at the men.
628
00:55:36,344 --> 00:55:40,092
It was about fucking,
and about having the right to be horny.
629
00:55:41,427 --> 00:55:44,509
We masturbated together,
that kind of thing.
630
00:55:46,094 --> 00:55:47,634
But it was rebellious.
631
00:55:50,177 --> 00:55:51,718
We weren't allowed
to have boyfriends.
632
00:55:51,718 --> 00:55:54,175
No fucking the same guy
more than once.
633
00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:59,467
You said you were rebellious.
What did you rebel against?
634
00:55:59,969 --> 00:56:00,800
Love.
635
00:56:02,843 --> 00:56:03,716
Love?
636
00:56:04,386 --> 00:56:08,133
We were committed to combat
the love-fixated society.
637
00:56:27,553 --> 00:56:30,261
I really believed
in our Little Flock.
638
00:56:30,261 --> 00:56:32,758
But of course,
that was naive of me.
639
00:56:33,386 --> 00:56:36,344
Over time, even the strongest
640
00:56:36,344 --> 00:56:38,885
couldn't stay true to our manifest.
641
00:56:38,885 --> 00:56:42,969
Third of the fifth.
My third intercourse this week,
642
00:56:42,969 --> 00:56:44,758
- again with Alex.
- Third?
643
00:56:47,469 --> 00:56:50,677
Haven't we stated that
we fuck each guy once?
644
00:56:50,677 --> 00:56:53,259
Yes, but he was rather sweet.
645
00:56:54,219 --> 00:56:55,259
Sweet?
646
00:56:56,094 --> 00:56:59,300
- Well, you know, sexy.
- Well, then, say sexy.
647
00:57:01,427 --> 00:57:02,969
He squeezed my earlobes.
648
00:57:02,969 --> 00:57:06,175
Earlobes? Great.
What else did he squeeze?
649
00:57:09,302 --> 00:57:12,633
I don't think
you can understand Alex.
650
00:57:13,261 --> 00:57:14,802
I don't want to.
651
00:57:14,802 --> 00:57:17,302
- Our relationship--
- Relationship.
652
00:57:17,302 --> 00:57:18,466
There you are.
653
00:57:19,635 --> 00:57:23,344
The way you're describing it,
which should be full of lust,
654
00:57:23,344 --> 00:57:26,427
is just a nauseating analysis
of his future abilities
655
00:57:26,427 --> 00:57:28,510
as a father to your child.
656
00:57:28,510 --> 00:57:32,342
You think you know
everything about sex.
657
00:57:36,261 --> 00:57:40,217
The secret ingredient
to sex is love.
658
00:57:46,219 --> 00:57:50,841
For me, love was just lust
with jealousy added.
659
00:57:51,635 --> 00:57:53,841
Everything else was total nonsense.
660
00:57:54,552 --> 00:57:58,802
For every 100 crimes committed
in the name of love,
661
00:57:58,802 --> 00:58:01,424
only one is committed
in the name of sex.
662
00:58:03,052 --> 00:58:04,593
That's quite a statement.
663
00:58:04,593 --> 00:58:08,758
Well, it all strengthened my
wish for a serious education.
664
00:58:33,843 --> 00:58:35,800
Glasgow.
665
00:58:39,426 --> 00:58:40,508
Aberdeen.
666
00:58:42,468 --> 00:58:43,967
Why are you smiling?
667
00:58:44,718 --> 00:58:47,052
Well, I just pictured
668
00:58:47,052 --> 00:58:50,050
how an education would be
conveyed in your storytelling.
669
00:58:51,260 --> 00:58:53,133
Well, that's nothing to smile about.
670
00:58:54,177 --> 00:58:55,633
Oh, I understand that.
671
00:58:57,260 --> 00:58:59,383
So what kind of education
did you get?
672
00:59:00,260 --> 00:59:03,635
I began studying medicine,
like my father.
673
00:59:03,635 --> 00:59:07,760
Today we are going to perform the
procedure that's called an abortion.
674
00:59:07,760 --> 00:59:12,094
We open up our cervical channel
to enter the uterus,
675
00:59:12,094 --> 00:59:14,426
and to get access to the fetus,
676
00:59:14,426 --> 00:59:17,718
for which we use
the so-called Hegal sticks.
677
00:59:17,718 --> 00:59:21,841
We enter the vagina tract,
and go into the cervical channel.
678
00:59:22,885 --> 00:59:24,843
We start with a small sized stick
679
00:59:24,843 --> 00:59:28,134
to cause a minimum of damage
to the tissue.
680
00:59:28,134 --> 00:59:31,593
And then we increase
the size of the stick.
681
00:59:31,593 --> 00:59:34,718
But it was harder and
harder for me to concentrate,
682
00:59:34,718 --> 00:59:38,967
so I studied less and less,
till finally I dropped out.
683
00:59:41,176 --> 00:59:45,050
My dad was very disappointed
when I stopped.
684
00:59:45,969 --> 00:59:48,593
But it was the only time
I saw my mother really smile
685
00:59:48,593 --> 00:59:51,591
when she said,
"What did I tell you?"
686
00:59:54,843 --> 00:59:57,383
So instead, I began
to look for a job.
687
00:59:59,051 --> 01:00:01,843
It turned out
it was hard to get a job
688
01:00:01,843 --> 01:00:04,466
that paid even halfway decently.
689
01:00:05,552 --> 01:00:08,885
I didn't really know
how to do anything.
690
01:00:08,885 --> 01:00:12,051
So I didn't have high hopes
when I applied for a position
691
01:00:12,051 --> 01:00:14,716
as an assistant
at a printing house.
692
01:00:15,843 --> 01:00:18,301
So, could you tell me
a little bit more
693
01:00:18,301 --> 01:00:21,468
about your background?
694
01:00:21,468 --> 01:00:23,301
Um...
695
01:00:23,301 --> 01:00:26,760
- Education-wise.
- Oh.
696
01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:32,091
Well, I finished high school,
and decided to study medicine.
697
01:00:32,927 --> 01:00:35,093
But I didn't finish.
698
01:00:35,093 --> 01:00:37,760
I know it sounds a bit
pointless coming here.
699
01:00:37,760 --> 01:00:40,343
- Right.
- I just really need a job.
700
01:00:40,343 --> 01:00:42,385
And I've tried everywhere.
701
01:00:42,385 --> 01:00:46,007
I don't usually give jobs to people
just because they need one.
702
01:00:47,426 --> 01:00:52,051
What about secretarial skills?
Do you have any of those?
703
01:00:52,051 --> 01:00:54,633
No, I didn't think
you needed skills.
704
01:00:56,426 --> 01:00:59,260
You didn't think you needed
skills for this position
705
01:00:59,260 --> 01:01:01,633
- as a secretary?
- No.
706
01:01:02,134 --> 01:01:03,966
Can you open an envelope?
707
01:01:04,593 --> 01:01:07,802
Yes, I... Yes, I think
I can open an envelope.
708
01:01:07,802 --> 01:01:09,800
Well, I'm glad to hear that.
709
01:01:11,051 --> 01:01:15,591
I shall discuss this conversation
with Mr. Jerome, my boss.
710
01:01:18,260 --> 01:01:21,341
Do you think
there's a chance?
711
01:01:22,343 --> 01:01:25,299
- I doubt it.
- Oh.
712
01:01:45,051 --> 01:01:49,508
Well, apparently,
having absolutely no experience
713
01:01:50,301 --> 01:01:52,468
is absolutely fine for this job.
714
01:01:52,468 --> 01:01:53,633
You've got it.
715
01:01:56,468 --> 01:01:58,550
Does that mean
I should start tomorrow?
716
01:01:59,426 --> 01:02:01,007
Yeah, I suppose it does.
717
01:02:03,301 --> 01:02:05,258
- Good morning.
- Right.
718
01:02:12,552 --> 01:02:14,799
Yes?
719
01:02:18,093 --> 01:02:20,051
- Good morning, sir.
- Good morning.
720
01:02:20,051 --> 01:02:22,676
I just wanted to introduce you
to our new junior secretary.
721
01:02:22,676 --> 01:02:25,552
Joe? I believe you wanted
to explain her work duties.
722
01:02:25,552 --> 01:02:27,218
- Hi.
- This is the new junior secretary.
723
01:02:27,218 --> 01:02:28,842
Liz, can I have another coffee?
724
01:02:28,842 --> 01:02:30,132
- Yes, of course, sir.
- Thank you.
725
01:02:33,510 --> 01:02:34,341
Hi.
726
01:02:38,468 --> 01:02:41,466
- Jerome.
- Your first love.
727
01:02:47,468 --> 01:02:50,134
I bet you didn't think I'd make
something of myself, right?
728
01:02:50,134 --> 01:02:51,759
And now, here I sit.
729
01:02:51,759 --> 01:02:53,966
The director's chair
of M & J Morris, Ltd.
730
01:02:58,301 --> 01:03:00,383
- Yeah, it's quite surprising.
- Surprising?
731
01:03:01,176 --> 01:03:02,715
It's a sign from God.
732
01:03:07,634 --> 01:03:09,466
You know, I've thought
about you often since then.
733
01:03:11,260 --> 01:03:12,924
Have you thought of me?
734
01:03:15,842 --> 01:03:18,091
- Well...
- What?
735
01:03:19,009 --> 01:03:21,634
Usually, you know,
my uncle sits here.
736
01:03:21,634 --> 01:03:23,260
But he's developed a bit
of a tummy problem,
737
01:03:23,260 --> 01:03:24,968
so he's at the spa,
taking long baths,
738
01:03:24,968 --> 01:03:28,385
drinking lots of water, poor guy.
And no one knows for how long.
739
01:03:28,385 --> 01:03:31,842
So now I'm the "J"
in M & J Morris, Ltd.
740
01:03:31,842 --> 01:03:33,634
How about that?
741
01:03:33,634 --> 01:03:36,466
We print cards and envelopes,
nonsense like that.
742
01:03:37,301 --> 01:03:39,176
It's a bloody complicated
business, you know.
743
01:03:39,176 --> 01:03:40,590
I don't understand a word of it.
744
01:03:41,842 --> 01:03:44,634
Come, I'll show you around. Yes?
745
01:03:44,634 --> 01:03:46,301
- Ladies?
- Yes, sir.
746
01:03:46,301 --> 01:03:48,509
Oh, look, there you are.
Good job.
747
01:03:48,509 --> 01:03:50,884
Every time you do a good job,
I say, "Good job, Liz."
748
01:03:50,884 --> 01:03:52,717
- Thank you, sir.
- What's her name?
749
01:03:52,717 --> 01:03:54,551
- Liz.
- Good job, Liz.
750
01:03:54,551 --> 01:03:56,590
- Good job, Liz.
- Good job, Liz.
751
01:04:15,425 --> 01:04:17,134
It stopped.
752
01:04:17,134 --> 01:04:18,549
Fuck.
753
01:04:22,093 --> 01:04:23,132
Yes.
754
01:04:25,093 --> 01:04:27,549
- Well, isn't there an alarm?
- Which?
755
01:04:28,218 --> 01:04:30,634
- Isn't there...
- Alarm, right, yes.
756
01:04:30,634 --> 01:04:33,382
Good thinking.
757
01:04:36,842 --> 01:04:37,924
Imagine...
758
01:04:38,842 --> 01:04:41,258
you look just as great
all these years later.
759
01:04:41,801 --> 01:04:42,924
Oh, no.
760
01:04:47,134 --> 01:04:49,590
- No.
- No?
761
01:04:51,759 --> 01:04:53,384
No, Jerome, this won't work.
762
01:04:53,384 --> 01:04:55,966
- Which won't work?
- This.
763
01:04:58,676 --> 01:04:59,715
Why not?
764
01:05:00,884 --> 01:05:02,257
You're not really my type.
765
01:05:04,926 --> 01:05:06,091
That's how it's gonna be?
766
01:05:06,884 --> 01:05:08,840
- Yes.
- All right.
767
01:05:15,467 --> 01:05:16,715
Fuck's sake.
768
01:05:26,551 --> 01:05:27,507
Okay.
769
01:05:37,467 --> 01:05:39,134
Um...
770
01:05:39,134 --> 01:05:40,382
Give me your hand.
771
01:05:41,467 --> 01:05:43,507
We'll do fireman's grip.
772
01:05:45,551 --> 01:05:47,049
- You okay?
- Yeah.
773
01:05:50,384 --> 01:05:51,840
Why didn't you
have sex with him?
774
01:05:54,009 --> 01:05:56,298
You must have had sex
in a lift before.
775
01:05:58,509 --> 01:06:02,467
I'm not quite sure.
I've shagged lots of idiots.
776
01:06:02,467 --> 01:06:05,090
Including worse idiots than him.
777
01:06:07,259 --> 01:06:08,842
Of course, I...
778
01:06:08,842 --> 01:06:11,840
I regretted that it had
been him back then.
779
01:06:12,884 --> 01:06:15,509
But that's just sentimental drivel.
780
01:06:15,509 --> 01:06:16,799
And I'm not sentimental.
781
01:06:18,092 --> 01:06:20,050
I suppose he fired you then.
782
01:06:20,050 --> 01:06:23,465
No. If he had fired me,
then he would have lost.
783
01:06:26,801 --> 01:06:28,551
As I didn't recall anyone
784
01:06:28,551 --> 01:06:30,425
having defined my work duties,
785
01:06:30,425 --> 01:06:34,173
I decided to clean up in order
to smooth the waters.
786
01:06:42,050 --> 01:06:43,425
Good morning, sir.
787
01:06:43,425 --> 01:06:45,423
- Any calls?
- No, sir.
788
01:06:51,842 --> 01:06:55,715
- What have you done?
- Oh. I cleaned up.
789
01:06:56,259 --> 01:06:57,965
You cleaned up.
790
01:06:59,050 --> 01:07:00,634
- It was quite messy, and--
- Liz?
791
01:07:00,634 --> 01:07:03,465
- Yes, sir?
- She cleaned up.
792
01:07:04,092 --> 01:07:06,384
I know, I... I didn't know, sir.
793
01:07:06,384 --> 01:07:08,507
- I was away from my desk.
- Are you completely mad?
794
01:07:15,384 --> 01:07:17,423
What is the tea
and pastry doing here?
795
01:07:18,092 --> 01:07:19,384
I thought that's
what you wanted for--
796
01:07:19,384 --> 01:07:22,676
You thought?
You're not supposed to think.
797
01:07:22,676 --> 01:07:25,092
I don't pay you to think, do I?
This is a do-over.
798
01:07:25,092 --> 01:07:26,634
- A do-over...
- Right.
799
01:07:26,634 --> 01:07:29,382
Pick it up. Take it outside.
And do it again.
800
01:07:41,759 --> 01:07:44,006
One moment.
801
01:07:52,384 --> 01:07:53,674
Come in.
802
01:07:56,883 --> 01:07:59,175
Would now be a good time
for some tea and cake?
803
01:07:59,175 --> 01:08:00,465
Sure, why not?
804
01:08:03,384 --> 01:08:05,133
Where the fuck's my cake fork?
805
01:08:05,133 --> 01:08:07,050
- Cake fork?
- Right.
806
01:08:07,050 --> 01:08:11,590
Well, I would have got you one,
but it just... feels inappropriate.
807
01:08:29,175 --> 01:08:31,133
Unmanly.
808
01:08:31,133 --> 01:08:32,592
Feminine.
809
01:08:32,592 --> 01:08:34,551
Well, on the other hand,
810
01:08:34,551 --> 01:08:38,632
you must say that a cake fork
is a rather practical tool.
811
01:08:40,551 --> 01:08:43,839
It's like a cross between
a knife and a fork.
812
01:08:44,467 --> 01:08:46,634
The point is that you're
supposed to be able
813
01:08:46,634 --> 01:08:48,634
to hold the cake dish
with one hand
814
01:08:48,634 --> 01:08:50,298
and then cut it with the other.
815
01:08:51,008 --> 01:08:54,509
And then eat it with the fork.
816
01:08:54,509 --> 01:08:57,382
It's not feminine,
it's at least bourgeois.
817
01:08:58,300 --> 01:09:00,758
It's said that the Bolsheviks,
818
01:09:00,758 --> 01:09:02,925
during their rampage
through Russia,
819
01:09:02,925 --> 01:09:04,633
to separate the men from the boys,
820
01:09:04,633 --> 01:09:07,551
or rather the bourgeoisie
from the proletariat,
821
01:09:07,551 --> 01:09:10,716
they brought a boy,
and before burning down a house
822
01:09:10,716 --> 01:09:14,257
they sent him in to make sure
they had cake forks.
823
01:09:19,008 --> 01:09:21,923
That's not true.
824
01:09:24,259 --> 01:09:26,467
I don't have the story first-hand.
825
01:09:26,467 --> 01:09:27,756
Hello.
826
01:09:28,675 --> 01:09:30,550
- Hi.
- Hi.
827
01:09:30,550 --> 01:09:33,050
I was wondering
if you could help me.
828
01:09:33,050 --> 01:09:36,675
It's suddenly gone very dirty.
See, yes?
829
01:09:36,675 --> 01:09:40,217
See, you've got your dirty
fingers on there.
830
01:09:40,217 --> 01:09:42,300
Maybe we should
wash your hands.
831
01:09:42,300 --> 01:09:43,756
Yeah, better.
832
01:09:46,259 --> 01:09:47,967
Mm-hmm.
833
01:09:47,967 --> 01:09:50,716
- You must be very talented.
- Yeah, sure.
834
01:09:50,716 --> 01:09:51,465
Hmm.
835
01:09:52,217 --> 01:09:55,090
You see, here's got a stain.
836
01:10:07,175 --> 01:10:08,967
If you'd asked
Jerome, he would have said
837
01:10:08,967 --> 01:10:11,090
that I was the one
who'd declared war.
838
01:10:13,633 --> 01:10:17,839
Many times he'd take me into town
just so I could hold his coat.
839
01:10:18,716 --> 01:10:20,883
- There.
- Where?
840
01:10:20,883 --> 01:10:22,839
There, behind the green car.
841
01:10:25,384 --> 01:10:27,756
- It's not big enough.
- It is, there's plenty of space.
842
01:10:31,092 --> 01:10:33,175
I saw it, it's not enough space.
843
01:10:33,175 --> 01:10:35,422
I'm telling you,
there's plenty of space.
844
01:10:48,175 --> 01:10:51,548
No. It's too small a space
for such a long car.
845
01:10:54,424 --> 01:10:56,006
Can I try?
846
01:10:57,633 --> 01:11:01,050
- Can you try?
- I'm a wizard at this.
847
01:11:01,050 --> 01:11:02,591
I just tried, it's not enough space, Joe.
848
01:11:02,591 --> 01:11:05,298
You just saw me do it.
It's not enough space, okay?
849
01:11:06,175 --> 01:11:09,090
- Can I try?
- Fuck. You want to try?
850
01:11:11,675 --> 01:11:12,798
Why not?
851
01:11:27,716 --> 01:11:29,090
Stupid.
852
01:12:08,050 --> 01:12:11,341
It was about
this time that a dramatic change
853
01:12:11,341 --> 01:12:13,256
happened inside of me.
854
01:12:14,675 --> 01:12:19,214
I could suddenly see a kind
of order in the mess.
855
01:12:30,633 --> 01:12:32,839
Are you just standing here looking?
856
01:12:35,633 --> 01:12:38,339
Yeah. I've begun to like his mess.
857
01:12:39,132 --> 01:12:40,756
How do you mean?
858
01:12:42,174 --> 01:12:45,130
Well, these are all things
placed by Jerome.
859
01:12:45,800 --> 01:12:47,673
I mean, by Jerome's hands.
860
01:12:48,550 --> 01:12:52,130
Sounds to me like you would like
to be handled by Mr. Jerome.
861
01:12:54,008 --> 01:12:56,256
Darling, you're in love with him.
862
01:13:01,216 --> 01:13:03,589
It was all very, very wrong.
863
01:13:05,007 --> 01:13:07,589
I wanted to be one of Jerome's things.
864
01:13:08,424 --> 01:13:13,047
I wanted to be picked up
and put down, again and again.
865
01:13:14,424 --> 01:13:17,007
I wanted to be
treated by his hands
866
01:13:17,007 --> 01:13:20,132
according to some
sophisticated principle
867
01:13:20,132 --> 01:13:22,214
that I didn't understand.
868
01:13:22,800 --> 01:13:24,591
His strong hands?
869
01:13:24,591 --> 01:13:28,550
Yes, but now it was no longer
just about his hands.
870
01:13:28,550 --> 01:13:31,798
It's as if everything
about him was different,
871
01:13:32,633 --> 01:13:35,841
which, of course, it wasn't
and I knew that in my head.
872
01:13:35,841 --> 01:13:39,548
And I scolded myself
for seeing him in this new light.
873
01:13:40,508 --> 01:13:44,548
- Love is blind.
- No, no, no, it's worse.
874
01:13:45,591 --> 01:13:47,381
Love distorts things.
875
01:13:48,341 --> 01:13:51,258
Or even worse...
love is something
876
01:13:51,258 --> 01:13:52,922
you've never asked for.
877
01:13:54,383 --> 01:13:58,716
The erotic was something I asked for,
or even demanded of men.
878
01:13:58,716 --> 01:14:01,464
But this idiotic love...
879
01:14:03,299 --> 01:14:05,339
I felt humiliated by it,
880
01:14:06,007 --> 01:14:08,714
and all the dishonesty that follows.
881
01:14:11,258 --> 01:14:13,548
The erotic is about saying yes.
882
01:14:15,299 --> 01:14:18,466
Love appeals to
the lowest instincts,
883
01:14:18,466 --> 01:14:20,381
wrapped up in lies.
884
01:14:21,132 --> 01:14:24,964
How do you say "yes"
when you mean "no," and vice versa.
885
01:14:28,758 --> 01:14:31,089
I'm ashamed of what I became.
886
01:14:32,383 --> 01:14:34,089
But it was beyond my control.
887
01:14:36,216 --> 01:14:40,464
- You know what you're doing now?
- No, what am I doing?
888
01:14:41,007 --> 01:14:43,256
You're defending your personality.
889
01:14:44,049 --> 01:14:46,381
I thought the point was to reveal it.
890
01:14:58,508 --> 01:15:02,673
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
891
01:15:04,924 --> 01:15:06,548
Thank you meaning, "That's all."
892
01:15:10,299 --> 01:15:13,797
You can go now.
Goodbye, Joe.
893
01:15:27,924 --> 01:15:31,508
At this time,
I took up walking again.
894
01:15:31,508 --> 01:15:33,091
You walked in the forest?
895
01:15:33,091 --> 01:15:35,548
Yes, I walked in the forest.
896
01:15:40,924 --> 01:15:43,506
The forest of my childhood.
897
01:15:44,715 --> 01:15:47,755
I took the same walk
again and again.
898
01:15:48,341 --> 01:15:51,383
Right turn after the gatehouse,
899
01:15:51,383 --> 01:15:54,258
and right again by the ash tree,
900
01:15:54,258 --> 01:15:56,964
which has the most beautiful leaves
in the forest,
901
01:15:58,632 --> 01:16:02,341
and further on,
past a lady with her poodle,
902
01:16:02,341 --> 01:16:05,089
and the old man on the bench.
903
01:16:12,424 --> 01:16:15,674
I couldn't free myself
of the image of Jerome
904
01:16:15,674 --> 01:16:17,630
and his careless elegance.
905
01:16:23,049 --> 01:16:27,547
And during this time,
when I was with other men,
906
01:16:28,341 --> 01:16:31,713
I forbade them to touch
my body with their hands.
907
01:16:35,341 --> 01:16:39,005
And soon, I stopped
having sex altogether.
908
01:16:41,091 --> 01:16:43,421
I tried to meet him all the time.
909
01:16:43,966 --> 01:16:46,172
I found out where he lived,
910
01:16:46,840 --> 01:16:49,547
but of course,
never dared ring his doorbell.
911
01:16:53,174 --> 01:16:56,507
I even started humiliating
myself on purpose
912
01:16:56,507 --> 01:16:58,630
in order for him to notice me.
913
01:17:18,882 --> 01:17:20,755
You broke a taillight.
914
01:17:22,340 --> 01:17:23,421
I did.
915
01:17:24,799 --> 01:17:27,005
I thought you were such
a wizard at parking.
916
01:17:28,091 --> 01:17:29,256
So did I.
917
01:17:30,258 --> 01:17:32,214
It'll be deducted from your salary.
918
01:17:35,674 --> 01:17:37,172
It's a long car.
919
01:17:40,840 --> 01:17:43,715
I worked for
a long time on a letter
920
01:17:43,715 --> 01:17:46,674
in which I told him about
my feelings for him,
921
01:17:46,674 --> 01:17:49,463
but couldn't bring myself
to hand it over.
922
01:17:52,216 --> 01:17:53,964
- Bye.
- Bye. Bye.
923
01:17:54,632 --> 01:17:56,216
A month would pass
924
01:17:56,216 --> 01:18:00,089
before I had built up
enough courage to deliver it.
925
01:18:25,173 --> 01:18:27,421
Well, I've written him
a letter after all.
926
01:18:29,340 --> 01:18:32,630
Do you think that the letter
is a bad idea?
927
01:18:35,382 --> 01:18:38,173
No, I think it's
the right thing to do.
928
01:18:38,173 --> 01:18:43,549
I'm just... I think maybe
you should wait until Friday.
929
01:18:43,549 --> 01:18:44,630
Why?
930
01:18:45,590 --> 01:18:47,672
He's always in a good mood
on Fridays.
931
01:18:49,049 --> 01:18:50,213
Okay.
932
01:19:09,799 --> 01:19:13,924
I'm sorry, isn't this...
Jerome's office?
933
01:19:13,924 --> 01:19:17,757
I'm happy to say that this
never has been
934
01:19:17,757 --> 01:19:20,046
and never will be Jerome's office.
935
01:19:20,549 --> 01:19:24,630
My nephew has been standing in for me
while I've been unwell.
936
01:19:25,131 --> 01:19:28,088
What's that? A letter for him?
937
01:19:29,298 --> 01:19:30,257
Yes.
938
01:19:30,257 --> 01:19:33,380
Give it to me
and I'll make sure he gets it.
939
01:19:38,006 --> 01:19:41,922
Can't promise when that might be
because he's long gone.
940
01:19:43,173 --> 01:19:46,674
How the young finance
their irrepressible desire
941
01:19:46,674 --> 01:19:48,421
for travel is a mystery to me.
942
01:19:49,465 --> 01:19:52,505
- So he's gone?
- Deserted us, yes.
943
01:19:53,965 --> 01:19:56,340
Raving about a trip around the world,
944
01:19:56,340 --> 01:19:58,713
- and married, and all.
- Married?
945
01:19:59,340 --> 01:20:00,547
Marriage, yes.
946
01:20:01,632 --> 01:20:04,004
Flown the coop with my secretary.
947
01:20:04,965 --> 01:20:05,838
Liz.
948
01:20:14,006 --> 01:20:15,588
And your job?
949
01:20:16,090 --> 01:20:18,423
Well, it turned out
that Jerome's uncle
950
01:20:18,423 --> 01:20:22,090
demanded a bit more knowledge
about the business, so...
951
01:20:22,090 --> 01:20:22,921
I see.
952
01:20:24,257 --> 01:20:26,799
Well, as for evidence of you
being a bad human being,
953
01:20:26,799 --> 01:20:28,965
there wasn't much to go on
in this chapter.
954
01:20:28,965 --> 01:20:33,088
Yes, as I said.
At least superficially.
955
01:20:34,507 --> 01:20:37,632
- I suppose you were jealous.
- No, I wasn't jealous.
956
01:20:37,632 --> 01:20:38,963
I didn't know that feeling.
957
01:20:40,465 --> 01:20:43,129
It's almost superhuman
not to feel jealousy.
958
01:20:44,590 --> 01:20:46,505
Well, that was the end of love, then?
959
01:20:48,507 --> 01:20:51,255
Well, maybe not quite as simple.
960
01:20:52,839 --> 01:20:58,006
But more about that later,
as they say in the novels.
961
01:20:58,006 --> 01:21:00,672
And Jerome just disappeared?
962
01:21:01,965 --> 01:21:07,048
Yes. Though I'd tried to keep him
in my own way, mentally,
963
01:21:07,048 --> 01:21:10,713
as I masturbated on the train
amongst other people.
964
01:21:13,048 --> 01:21:15,298
You masturbated on the train,
on the seat?
965
01:21:15,298 --> 01:21:18,382
- Yes, of course.
- And that's possible?
966
01:21:18,382 --> 01:21:22,465
Easily.
You just put your coat in your lap.
967
01:21:22,465 --> 01:21:26,839
It can be done silently
without expression.
968
01:21:26,839 --> 01:21:28,881
The only thing
that could give me away
969
01:21:28,881 --> 01:21:32,796
and mostly to women,
was my open mouth when I came.
970
01:21:47,131 --> 01:21:49,839
I did a jigsaw puzzle.
971
01:21:49,839 --> 01:21:51,879
Ajigsaw puzzle?
972
01:21:56,006 --> 01:21:59,173
I found details
in the other passengers
973
01:21:59,173 --> 01:22:01,338
that reminded me of Jerome.
974
01:22:56,048 --> 01:22:57,839
But in the long run,
975
01:22:57,839 --> 01:23:00,173
I couldn't hold onto
the details of him,
976
01:23:00,173 --> 01:23:02,587
no matter how hard I tried.
977
01:23:03,464 --> 01:23:05,257
So, you could say that in a way,
978
01:23:05,257 --> 01:23:08,923
Jerome followed you
as a kind of silhouette.
979
01:23:08,923 --> 01:23:12,631
Yes, but gradually disappearing
as a sexual being.
980
01:23:12,631 --> 01:23:17,839
Maybe that's how it is with memory.
You remember silhouettes.
981
01:23:17,839 --> 01:23:19,714
The essentials.
982
01:23:19,714 --> 01:23:22,629
But that's not necessarily
a bad thing.
983
01:23:26,798 --> 01:23:29,048
Of course
there's silhouettes in the winter.
984
01:23:29,048 --> 01:23:31,340
The trees are difficult
to tell apart.
985
01:23:31,340 --> 01:23:32,923
These buds...
986
01:23:32,923 --> 01:23:34,839
My father
wrestled courageously
987
01:23:34,839 --> 01:23:37,837
with his flora
and tree type guides.
988
01:23:39,548 --> 01:23:40,921
It's actually...
989
01:23:43,131 --> 01:23:46,796
the souls of the trees
we see in the winter.
990
01:23:47,422 --> 01:23:49,215
In summer, everything's
green and idyllic,
991
01:23:49,215 --> 01:23:54,048
but in the winter, the branches
and the trunks, they all stand out.
992
01:23:54,048 --> 01:23:56,295
Look at how crooked they all are.
993
01:23:58,215 --> 01:24:01,295
The branches have to carry
all of the leaves into the sunlight.
994
01:24:02,798 --> 01:24:05,754
It's one long struggle for survival.
995
01:24:08,965 --> 01:24:12,006
My father surprised
me by calling the naked trunks
996
01:24:12,006 --> 01:24:14,213
the souls of the trees.
997
01:24:14,965 --> 01:24:17,756
A poetic thought
that was rare for him,
998
01:24:17,756 --> 01:24:21,420
as by his own account, he preferred
the empirical sciences.
999
01:24:25,173 --> 01:24:26,712
And after Jerome?
1000
01:24:28,048 --> 01:24:30,756
I reacted, um...
1001
01:24:30,756 --> 01:24:34,129
Well, let's just say... aggressively.
1002
01:24:35,173 --> 01:24:39,712
- How?
- By intensifying my hunt for men.
1003
01:24:42,506 --> 01:24:44,631
You know
these supermarket doors
1004
01:24:44,631 --> 01:24:47,546
that open and close by way
of some kind of sensor?
1005
01:24:48,381 --> 01:24:51,214
Now compare these doors
to my cunt,
1006
01:24:51,214 --> 01:24:54,504
and add an extraordinarily
sensitive sensor.
1007
01:24:56,631 --> 01:25:00,422
My sensitive door opening
gave me an opportunity
1008
01:25:00,422 --> 01:25:05,212
to develop my morphological studies
from knees to genitals.
1009
01:25:10,256 --> 01:25:15,256
I embarked on a trip through, what,
in the lingo of children's books,
1010
01:25:15,256 --> 01:25:19,087
one might call, "The Country
of the Big, Bad Cocks."
1011
01:25:21,673 --> 01:25:25,629
"The Country of the Small
Yellow Cocks," and so on.
1012
01:25:26,339 --> 01:25:28,589
And most of all, I battled my way
1013
01:25:28,589 --> 01:25:31,420
through an untold number
of circumcised cocks.
1014
01:25:33,256 --> 01:25:36,172
By the way, did you know
that if you combine
1015
01:25:36,172 --> 01:25:38,923
all the foreskin cut off
through history,
1016
01:25:38,923 --> 01:25:41,879
it would reach to Mars
and back again?
1017
01:26:01,047 --> 01:26:02,504
"Mrs. H."
1018
01:26:18,047 --> 01:26:21,130
By now, I had
built up a sizable circle of men,
1019
01:26:21,130 --> 01:26:24,922
and was starting to have trouble
remembering who was who.
1020
01:26:24,922 --> 01:26:26,964
Hello, sweetheart.
Want to meet?
1021
01:26:26,964 --> 01:26:28,673
It's Fisher.
1022
01:26:28,673 --> 01:26:31,631
I'm lying here thinking
of you and what you said.
1023
01:26:31,631 --> 01:26:33,798
I'm not angry at all if that's
what you're thinking.
1024
01:26:33,798 --> 01:26:36,339
Hi, Joe. It's Rob again.
1025
01:26:36,339 --> 01:26:38,047
I had a really
good time seeing you.
1026
01:26:38,047 --> 01:26:39,589
Give me a... Give me a call.
1027
01:26:39,589 --> 01:26:41,673
Hi, Joe.
1028
01:26:41,673 --> 01:26:44,089
I left a couple of messages.
Is everything all right?
1029
01:26:44,089 --> 01:26:46,798
I quickly gave up
trying to remember
1030
01:26:46,798 --> 01:26:51,506
the individual relationships.
It was impossible.
1031
01:26:51,506 --> 01:26:54,920
And impossible to predict
what they wanted to hear.
1032
01:26:56,214 --> 01:26:58,128
So I invented a method.
1033
01:27:01,631 --> 01:27:04,003
It was all based on chance.
1034
01:27:07,464 --> 01:27:10,462
A one meant
an overly loving answer.
1035
01:27:13,880 --> 01:27:17,087
A two, not quite as passionate,
but still positive.
1036
01:27:17,838 --> 01:27:21,130
And so on, up to five,
which was a complete rejection.
1037
01:27:21,130 --> 01:27:23,962
And six, no answer at all.
1038
01:27:26,589 --> 01:27:30,631
The trick with this method
was that I didn't have to worry about
1039
01:27:30,631 --> 01:27:32,714
the individual relationships,
1040
01:27:32,714 --> 01:27:35,922
but instead became
completely unpredictable,
1041
01:27:35,922 --> 01:27:39,087
which, of course,
drove the men even wilder.
1042
01:27:41,172 --> 01:27:42,922
Hey, Eddie, it's me.
1043
01:27:42,922 --> 01:27:44,797
Listen, I've given this
a lot of thought,
1044
01:27:44,797 --> 01:27:47,878
and I've come to the conclusion
that we're done. Bye.
1045
01:27:49,172 --> 01:27:52,256
I was just wondering
if you wanted to come back,
1046
01:27:52,256 --> 01:27:54,464
and maybe we can
do something nice.
1047
01:27:54,464 --> 01:27:57,214
Hi, Patrick, it's Joe.
1048
01:27:57,214 --> 01:28:00,838
I had a really lovely time with you,
and I'd love for you to come back.
1049
01:28:00,838 --> 01:28:04,172
If you're interested,
let me know. Bye.
1050
01:28:04,172 --> 01:28:08,087
I really don't think we match,
and you're quite annoying,
1051
01:28:08,964 --> 01:28:12,504
so I don't want to see you anymore.
Please don't call back.
1052
01:28:13,506 --> 01:28:15,589
That sounds rather stressful.
1053
01:28:15,589 --> 01:28:17,589
Yes, actually, it was.
1054
01:28:17,589 --> 01:28:21,504
But fortunately, I had
my little book of comfort.
1055
01:28:23,172 --> 01:28:28,797
When I needed comfort or peace,
I took out my herbarium
1056
01:28:28,797 --> 01:28:30,838
and looked at my favorite leaves.
1057
01:28:30,838 --> 01:28:35,254
Ash, trembling aspen and lime.
1058
01:28:43,297 --> 01:28:45,713
When you're dealing
with a larger group of lovers
1059
01:28:45,713 --> 01:28:50,588
as I was, there will typically be
a difference in their qualities.
1060
01:28:50,588 --> 01:28:52,922
H was a sticky bastard.
1061
01:28:52,922 --> 01:28:57,089
I had invited A for dinner,
as he was my favorite,
1062
01:28:57,089 --> 01:29:01,422
while H, who was present,
had become quite irritating.
1063
01:29:01,422 --> 01:29:03,755
You have to leave.
I've got guests for dinner.
1064
01:29:03,755 --> 01:29:05,462
But he's not coming until seven.
1065
01:29:06,630 --> 01:29:09,836
No. But seven isn't that far away.
1066
01:29:18,297 --> 01:29:19,962
Do you love me?
1067
01:29:22,505 --> 01:29:25,297
A was to arrive at seven,
1068
01:29:25,297 --> 01:29:28,003
and I needed to get H
out of there.
1069
01:29:30,797 --> 01:29:32,254
I love you too much.
1070
01:29:33,964 --> 01:29:37,172
You keep promising,
but I understand now
1071
01:29:37,172 --> 01:29:40,711
that you'll never leave
your family for my sake.
1072
01:29:42,755 --> 01:29:44,545
It's sad, but...
1073
01:29:46,588 --> 01:29:47,753
it's your choice.
1074
01:29:49,588 --> 01:29:52,753
It's not satisfying for me that
I can't have you completely.
1075
01:29:56,380 --> 01:29:59,003
Which is why we can't
see each other any longer.
1076
01:30:03,713 --> 01:30:04,753
Goodbye.
1077
01:30:09,297 --> 01:30:10,295
Look...
1078
01:30:15,463 --> 01:30:17,461
Have a nice life.
1079
01:30:43,421 --> 01:30:46,461
My darling, I'm yours.
1080
01:30:47,172 --> 01:30:48,419
I've left her.
1081
01:30:56,672 --> 01:30:59,586
- Has he gone inside?
- Yes.
1082
01:31:00,964 --> 01:31:02,711
Is the door closed?
1083
01:31:14,713 --> 01:31:17,213
- Uh, hello.
- Hello.
1084
01:31:17,213 --> 01:31:20,255
Apologize. We, uh...
1085
01:31:20,255 --> 01:31:22,922
had promised not to come up.
1086
01:31:22,922 --> 01:31:25,838
We just wanted to...
1087
01:31:25,838 --> 01:31:29,338
make sure he got here safely,
now that he's...
1088
01:31:29,338 --> 01:31:30,878
made the big decision.
1089
01:31:32,338 --> 01:31:36,255
May the children see him inside?
1090
01:31:36,255 --> 01:31:39,047
They say that the experience
of saying goodbye
1091
01:31:39,047 --> 01:31:42,003
can be very useful later
when dealing with trauma.
1092
01:31:58,922 --> 01:32:00,211
What a nice place.
1093
01:32:01,713 --> 01:32:04,628
It's, uh... so bohemian.
1094
01:32:06,171 --> 01:32:08,505
We used to have a place
like this before we were...
1095
01:32:08,505 --> 01:32:10,380
we were married.
1096
01:32:10,380 --> 01:32:13,836
Before the children,
me and my husband.
1097
01:32:15,213 --> 01:32:19,378
Oh, I'm sorry.
He isn't anymore, is he?
1098
01:32:20,171 --> 01:32:22,711
It's all so new and confusing.
1099
01:32:27,338 --> 01:32:30,419
He wanted to give us
everything, but, uh...
1100
01:32:31,588 --> 01:32:33,628
Of course we couldn't accept that.
1101
01:32:35,880 --> 01:32:37,336
Oh, that's right.
1102
01:32:38,171 --> 01:32:41,171
- You need the car key.
- No, I don't need the car.
1103
01:32:41,171 --> 01:32:43,213
Oh, yes, you do.
1104
01:32:43,213 --> 01:32:44,711
He likes the car.
1105
01:32:46,213 --> 01:32:47,880
Here.
1106
01:32:47,880 --> 01:32:49,921
- Please, just take it.
- I don't want it.
1107
01:32:49,921 --> 01:32:52,628
- Just take it.
- I don't want the fucking car!
1108
01:32:56,505 --> 01:33:00,253
It's all right.
We'll get the bus home.
1109
01:33:00,921 --> 01:33:03,919
Children might as well get used
to public transport now, right?
1110
01:33:05,088 --> 01:33:08,836
Of course, their standard of living
won't be the same anymore, but...
1111
01:33:13,255 --> 01:33:15,503
I'm not saying that
to bother anyone.
1112
01:33:16,505 --> 01:33:18,086
One has to be realistic.
1113
01:33:22,296 --> 01:33:23,545
Hey.
1114
01:33:25,713 --> 01:33:27,046
What's this?
1115
01:33:27,046 --> 01:33:28,961
It's a present.
1116
01:33:29,879 --> 01:33:33,044
A pillow he has embroidered himself.
1117
01:33:34,630 --> 01:33:36,461
- And who's it for?
- Daddy.
1118
01:33:38,505 --> 01:33:40,755
I do hope it's all right
if the children
1119
01:33:40,755 --> 01:33:42,255
call their father "Daddy" here.
1120
01:33:42,255 --> 01:33:45,963
If you prefer, they can call him...
1121
01:33:45,963 --> 01:33:50,129
"him," or simply, "the man."
1122
01:33:50,129 --> 01:33:52,670
Whatever.
1123
01:33:56,588 --> 01:33:58,253
"Whatever."
1124
01:33:59,463 --> 01:34:01,835
Must be hard when
you've got everything,
1125
01:34:02,713 --> 01:34:04,253
to know what to say.
1126
01:34:05,380 --> 01:34:07,380
To be honest,
my first thought was never,
1127
01:34:07,380 --> 01:34:09,547
ever to let either
of you see the children,
1128
01:34:09,547 --> 01:34:11,963
but then I changed my mind.
1129
01:34:11,963 --> 01:34:14,505
I thought it only right that
their father be confronted
1130
01:34:14,505 --> 01:34:17,002
by the little people
whose lives he's destroyed.
1131
01:34:19,088 --> 01:34:20,877
Give Daddy your present.
1132
01:34:24,547 --> 01:34:27,710
It's a car the little dear
has embroidered.
1133
01:34:29,630 --> 01:34:32,505
I'm aware that
not everyone can see it, but...
1134
01:34:32,505 --> 01:34:35,338
with the heart one can see much,
1135
01:34:35,338 --> 01:34:38,669
however unimportant that
information may be to you.
1136
01:34:40,547 --> 01:34:45,213
Would it be all right if I show
the children the whoring bed?
1137
01:34:45,213 --> 01:34:49,669
After all, they also had
a stake in this event.
1138
01:34:53,380 --> 01:34:55,461
You need to see it.
Right?
1139
01:34:56,463 --> 01:34:58,336
Let's go see
Daddy's favorite place.
1140
01:34:59,421 --> 01:35:01,585
Come on, boys.
1141
01:35:02,963 --> 01:35:04,877
Oh!
1142
01:35:07,171 --> 01:35:11,253
So this is where it all happened.
1143
01:35:17,754 --> 01:35:20,710
You should try to
memorize this room.
1144
01:35:21,338 --> 01:35:23,378
Especially the bed.
1145
01:35:23,963 --> 01:35:26,837
It'll stand you in good stead
later in therapy.
1146
01:35:26,837 --> 01:35:28,338
Oh.
1147
01:35:28,338 --> 01:35:30,921
Here I sit rambling on about therapy
1148
01:35:30,921 --> 01:35:33,129
without a thought
of what it might cost.
1149
01:35:33,129 --> 01:35:36,169
I do hope you don't think
we're here to beg.
1150
01:35:40,004 --> 01:35:41,587
I'm sorry.
1151
01:35:41,587 --> 01:35:43,921
I'm sorry.
1152
01:35:43,921 --> 01:35:46,544
Being silly. Mommy's being silly.
1153
01:35:47,171 --> 01:35:49,627
Let's have a cup of tea.
1154
01:36:08,255 --> 01:36:10,587
Hope it's not too weak.
1155
01:36:10,587 --> 01:36:13,294
Afraid I'm rather nervous.
1156
01:36:19,504 --> 01:36:23,253
The children's father likes
two lumps of sugar in his tea.
1157
01:36:41,587 --> 01:36:43,420
Mm-mm.
I'll get it.
1158
01:36:43,420 --> 01:36:45,627
Mm-mm.
- No, no, please, please.
1159
01:36:47,712 --> 01:36:50,255
- Hello.
- Hello.
1160
01:36:50,255 --> 01:36:52,255
- Yes?
- Uh...
1161
01:36:52,255 --> 01:36:54,796
How nice. Lovely.
1162
01:36:54,796 --> 01:36:58,337
- Boys, come here.
- Is Joe here?
1163
01:36:58,337 --> 01:36:59,502
This might be interesting.
1164
01:37:01,754 --> 01:37:03,046
- This is my son.
- Yes.
1165
01:37:03,046 --> 01:37:04,796
- Yes.
- Hello, hello.
1166
01:37:04,796 --> 01:37:07,462
- Look him in the eyes.
- I'm Andy. Hello.
1167
01:37:07,462 --> 01:37:09,504
- Friend of Joe's then?
- Yeah.
1168
01:37:09,504 --> 01:37:13,129
- You known each other long?
- Uh... Not that long, no.
1169
01:37:13,129 --> 01:37:14,921
- Not very long?
- No.
1170
01:37:14,921 --> 01:37:15,794
Oh.
1171
01:37:23,671 --> 01:37:25,961
A menage-a-trois.
1172
01:37:28,046 --> 01:37:30,254
It's all so exotic.
1173
01:37:30,254 --> 01:37:33,044
So broad-minded.
1174
01:37:34,754 --> 01:37:38,460
On that point... I failed.
1175
01:37:39,462 --> 01:37:40,794
No doubt about it.
1176
01:37:43,337 --> 01:37:47,254
Boys, now is the time to be alert,
1177
01:37:47,254 --> 01:37:50,752
and ask all the questions
your heart's desire.
1178
01:37:52,254 --> 01:37:54,796
Because...
1179
01:37:54,796 --> 01:37:58,088
I hope that you shall
never have to encounter
1180
01:37:58,088 --> 01:38:01,335
such people or be in such
a situation ever again.
1181
01:38:03,337 --> 01:38:06,877
Well, hmm?
You don't have any questions?
1182
01:38:07,796 --> 01:38:09,126
No?
1183
01:38:11,629 --> 01:38:14,420
Well, I'll start, shall I?
1184
01:38:14,420 --> 01:38:17,087
Approximately, how many lives...
1185
01:38:17,087 --> 01:38:20,504
do you think she has time
to destroy in one day?
1186
01:38:20,504 --> 01:38:23,585
Five? 50?
1187
01:38:24,712 --> 01:38:26,710
Or several hundreds?
1188
01:38:27,837 --> 01:38:30,879
I admit the latter sounds improbable,
1189
01:38:30,879 --> 01:38:34,710
but where there's a will
there's a way.
1190
01:38:42,963 --> 01:38:46,585
Look, this is just
a big misunderstanding.
1191
01:38:51,504 --> 01:38:53,001
Boys?
1192
01:38:55,254 --> 01:38:57,377
I don't... I don't love your father.
1193
01:38:58,796 --> 01:39:01,379
She's just saying that
to make us feel better.
1194
01:39:01,379 --> 01:39:03,210
I'm sure you understand that.
1195
01:39:04,003 --> 01:39:06,293
Because if it were a joke,
I mean...
1196
01:39:07,420 --> 01:39:12,210
If... this were really a joke,
then it would be a joke so cruel.
1197
01:39:17,671 --> 01:39:21,126
No one can be that cruel.
1198
01:39:24,587 --> 01:39:27,671
They say that even the Huns
on their rampage
1199
01:39:27,671 --> 01:39:31,460
were rather unreserved,
but to split up a family...
1200
01:39:34,796 --> 01:39:38,878
To destroy a mesh of feelings
woven over 20 years
1201
01:39:38,878 --> 01:39:41,918
is no joke, I can assure you.
1202
01:39:51,920 --> 01:39:53,168
Well...
1203
01:39:54,796 --> 01:39:57,629
If three's a crowd,
then seven must be
1204
01:39:57,629 --> 01:40:00,293
a bit of a challenge
for the pretty miss.
1205
01:40:02,420 --> 01:40:07,001
I must say I have a hard time
picturing her enjoying loneliness.
1206
01:40:09,420 --> 01:40:12,920
I think we better grab
the chance to get away
1207
01:40:12,920 --> 01:40:15,335
before things become grotesque.
1208
01:40:18,379 --> 01:40:21,418
No, no, no!
1209
01:40:24,003 --> 01:40:27,168
You wouldn't want to give your father
a guilty conscience now, would you?
1210
01:41:05,170 --> 01:41:07,335
So how did this episode
affect your life?
1211
01:41:08,711 --> 01:41:10,043
Not at all.
1212
01:41:12,254 --> 01:41:15,001
- Not at all?
- No.
1213
01:41:15,962 --> 01:41:19,001
You can't make an omelet
without breaking a few eggs.
1214
01:41:23,628 --> 01:41:25,460
Well, that's true.
1215
01:41:28,462 --> 01:41:32,045
Some people... blame the addict.
1216
01:41:32,045 --> 01:41:36,212
Other people feel sorry
for the addict.
1217
01:41:36,212 --> 01:41:40,834
But I was an addict out of lust,
not out of need.
1218
01:41:41,586 --> 01:41:43,377
You would say that, wouldn't you?
1219
01:41:44,254 --> 01:41:47,836
And lust that led to
destruction around me,
1220
01:41:47,836 --> 01:41:49,293
everywhere I went.
1221
01:41:51,003 --> 01:41:55,711
Well, addiction
sometimes leads to an...
1222
01:41:55,711 --> 01:41:57,543
absence of empathy.
1223
01:41:59,337 --> 01:42:00,711
You can't fight a lion
1224
01:42:00,711 --> 01:42:03,335
and blow the noses
of your children at the same time.
1225
01:42:05,920 --> 01:42:09,001
For me, nymphomania
was callousness.
1226
01:42:12,254 --> 01:42:13,960
You're very stubborn.
1227
01:42:14,920 --> 01:42:17,085
But what about yourself?
1228
01:42:18,003 --> 01:42:20,501
How did you feel during all this?
1229
01:42:30,461 --> 01:42:33,501
Did you feel good,
or did you feel bad?
1230
01:42:41,545 --> 01:42:44,212
It's funny because
when I think about my life
1231
01:42:44,212 --> 01:42:49,045
as a whole, I can only say
that I felt good.
1232
01:42:49,045 --> 01:42:53,753
But when I try and remember
a specific episode,
1233
01:42:53,753 --> 01:42:57,170
I'd say that just then
I felt rather bad.
1234
01:42:57,170 --> 01:42:58,751
In what way?
1235
01:43:04,378 --> 01:43:07,459
Mrs. H was right
about the loneliness.
1236
01:43:08,254 --> 01:43:12,543
I'd be lying if I said it hadn't
been my constant companion.
1237
01:43:15,378 --> 01:43:19,501
So you were with all
these men, and you still felt alone?
1238
01:43:26,628 --> 01:43:28,960
I didn't want to tell you about it.
1239
01:43:30,586 --> 01:43:33,085
But you've led me into a trap.
1240
01:43:36,336 --> 01:43:38,876
It was a certain feeling.
1241
01:43:43,711 --> 01:43:48,251
Oh, how awful that everything
has to be so trivial.
1242
01:43:57,753 --> 01:44:00,670
When I was seven
I had to have an operation.
1243
01:44:00,670 --> 01:44:03,960
Nothing serious, but it did
require anesthesia.
1244
01:44:06,169 --> 01:44:10,626
I had already been pre-medicated,
and was feeling all right.
1245
01:44:11,795 --> 01:44:14,795
But when I looked into the room
where the doctors and nurses
1246
01:44:14,795 --> 01:44:18,045
were preparing for the operation,
1247
01:44:18,045 --> 01:44:20,545
it was as if had to pass through
1248
01:44:20,545 --> 01:44:24,501
an impenetrable gate
all by myself.
1249
01:44:26,920 --> 01:44:29,628
It wasn't just that
I missed my mom.
1250
01:44:29,628 --> 01:44:32,169
I don't think I missed my dad,
1251
01:44:32,169 --> 01:44:33,960
even though he was
the nice one.
1252
01:44:34,795 --> 01:44:39,209
It was as if I was completely alone
in the universe.
1253
01:44:41,294 --> 01:44:46,084
As if my whole body was filled
with loneliness and tears.
1254
01:45:09,294 --> 01:45:13,084
And I'm still not allowed
to feel sorry for you?
1255
01:45:14,920 --> 01:45:16,668
Shall we go on?
1256
01:45:42,419 --> 01:45:44,419
What are you reading?
1257
01:45:44,419 --> 01:45:47,378
I'm not
reading it really, I'm just...
1258
01:45:47,378 --> 01:45:50,042
reacquainting myself
with Edgar Allan Poe.
1259
01:45:51,253 --> 01:45:52,417
I don't know him.
1260
01:45:53,836 --> 01:45:55,751
Well, he was a...
1261
01:45:57,753 --> 01:45:59,875
very anxiety-ridden man.
1262
01:46:05,961 --> 01:46:10,086
He died in the most fearful way
you can imagine,
1263
01:46:10,086 --> 01:46:12,084
in something called delirium tremens.
1264
01:46:15,169 --> 01:46:19,919
It occurs when the long-time
abuse of alcohol is followed by...
1265
01:46:19,919 --> 01:46:22,167
by a sudden abstinence.
1266
01:46:24,169 --> 01:46:27,751
Your body goes into some kind
of hyper-sensitive shock.
1267
01:46:28,753 --> 01:46:31,919
You can see the most
horrifying hallucinations
1268
01:46:31,919 --> 01:46:37,378
or rats and snakes, and cockroaches
coming out of the floor,
1269
01:46:37,378 --> 01:46:40,626
and worms slithering the walls.
1270
01:46:43,503 --> 01:46:47,253
One's entire nervous system
is on high alert,
1271
01:46:47,253 --> 01:46:49,875
and you have a constant
panic and paranoia.
1272
01:46:51,711 --> 01:46:54,251
And then the
circulatory system fails.
1273
01:46:55,086 --> 01:46:57,628
But the panic and horror...
1274
01:46:57,628 --> 01:47:00,626
remains until
the moment of death.
1275
01:47:17,127 --> 01:47:19,084
I know what delirium is.
1276
01:47:23,419 --> 01:47:24,752
"During the whole
1277
01:47:24,752 --> 01:47:26,503
of a dull, dark and soundless day
1278
01:47:26,503 --> 01:47:29,710
in the autumn of the year,
when the clouds hung
1279
01:47:29,710 --> 01:47:32,461
oppressively low in the heavens,
1280
01:47:32,461 --> 01:47:35,710
I had been passing alone
on horseback
1281
01:47:35,710 --> 01:47:39,419
through a singularly
dreary tract of country;
1282
01:47:39,419 --> 01:47:41,294
and at length found myself
1283
01:47:41,294 --> 01:47:44,211
as the shades of
the evening drew on,
1284
01:47:44,211 --> 01:47:48,334
within view of the melancholy
House of Usher."
1285
01:48:18,086 --> 01:48:19,959
Hey, Dad.
1286
01:48:31,627 --> 01:48:32,625
Hi, love.
1287
01:48:35,253 --> 01:48:36,583
How are you?
1288
01:48:38,502 --> 01:48:40,000
I fought with Mom.
1289
01:48:41,794 --> 01:48:44,292
She's... She's not coming.
1290
01:48:48,877 --> 01:48:51,336
You ought not to fight with her.
1291
01:48:51,336 --> 01:48:53,708
You know Kay's fear of hospitals.
1292
01:48:57,378 --> 01:48:59,585
I know
she's not coming.
1293
01:48:59,585 --> 01:49:02,292
We already said everything
we needed to say.
1294
01:49:05,253 --> 01:49:07,084
Kay and I said goodbye at home.
1295
01:49:08,585 --> 01:49:10,542
I don't want her here at all.
1296
01:49:14,002 --> 01:49:18,000
- I can't accept that.
- You'll have to.
1297
01:49:18,961 --> 01:49:21,750
She's a cowardly, stupid bitch.
1298
01:49:23,460 --> 01:49:24,917
No, she's not.
1299
01:49:26,169 --> 01:49:28,127
- Yeah.
- No, she's not.
1300
01:49:28,127 --> 01:49:29,669
- Yes.
- No, she's not.
1301
01:49:29,669 --> 01:49:32,251
Yes, she is.
You've never understood that.
1302
01:49:47,418 --> 01:49:49,084
Doesn't it scare you?
1303
01:49:51,086 --> 01:49:56,792
No.
1304
01:49:59,794 --> 01:50:01,959
How can you not be afraid?
1305
01:50:06,877 --> 01:50:08,875
I've seen so many die.
1306
01:50:11,252 --> 01:50:14,585
And there's that Epicurus quote
1307
01:50:14,585 --> 01:50:16,333
about not fearing death.
1308
01:50:17,752 --> 01:50:21,418
"When we are, death has not come.
1309
01:50:21,418 --> 01:50:25,875
When death has come... we are not."
1310
01:50:30,293 --> 01:50:32,500
You know it's going to happen.
1311
01:50:33,127 --> 01:50:36,585
I also know all the drugs
the doctors have to offer.
1312
01:50:36,585 --> 01:50:38,124
So, no.
1313
01:50:39,086 --> 01:50:41,002
I am not...
1314
01:50:41,002 --> 01:50:43,124
I am not afraid.
1315
01:50:45,044 --> 01:50:47,833
Hmm. My beautiful girl.
1316
01:50:49,794 --> 01:50:51,708
Beautiful dad.
1317
01:50:58,961 --> 01:51:00,752
Hello, Doctor.
1318
01:51:00,752 --> 01:51:03,794
Hello, Doctor.
This is my daughter Joe.
1319
01:51:03,794 --> 01:51:05,416
- Hey, Joe.
- Hi.
1320
01:51:08,168 --> 01:51:10,085
Do you need anything?
1321
01:51:10,085 --> 01:51:13,502
As I've said, I've decided to be
1322
01:51:13,502 --> 01:51:16,085
an exemplary patient,
completely subjecting myself
1323
01:51:16,085 --> 01:51:18,750
- to doctor's orders.
- Are you in pain?
1324
01:51:20,544 --> 01:51:22,002
I don't think so, no.
1325
01:51:22,002 --> 01:51:24,083
We're going to give you
a splash all the same.
1326
01:51:45,544 --> 01:51:47,083
Your hair is longer.
1327
01:51:49,669 --> 01:51:51,333
No, it's not.
1328
01:51:54,418 --> 01:51:56,500
They're giving you
too much medication.
1329
01:52:07,126 --> 01:52:07,833
No.
1330
01:52:09,335 --> 01:52:10,875
Dad.
1331
01:52:11,669 --> 01:52:15,252
It's okay, Dad.
You're just dreaming.
1332
01:52:15,252 --> 01:52:19,833
You're having a nightmare.
1333
01:52:21,335 --> 01:52:24,708
It's okay.
1334
01:52:42,335 --> 01:52:44,832
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
1335
01:52:47,544 --> 01:52:50,667
Okay. Don't worry, I'm going
to get the doctor. Don't worry.
1336
01:53:07,377 --> 01:53:09,375
You must be exhausted.
1337
01:53:11,043 --> 01:53:12,333
I'm fine.
1338
01:53:13,168 --> 01:53:15,583
I think you should go home,
get some rest.
1339
01:53:17,377 --> 01:53:20,458
No. Someone needs to be here.
1340
01:53:22,335 --> 01:53:25,208
Perhaps you could share
with some other family members.
1341
01:53:28,627 --> 01:53:30,416
There aren't any others.
1342
01:54:04,709 --> 01:54:06,418
Kay!
1343
01:54:06,418 --> 01:54:09,584
Daddy, it's okay.
1344
01:54:09,584 --> 01:54:12,500
Kay?
1345
01:54:16,377 --> 01:54:17,876
Kay.
1346
01:54:17,876 --> 01:54:20,666
Kay. Kay.
1347
01:54:26,335 --> 01:54:29,876
Kay.
1348
01:54:29,876 --> 01:54:32,543
Kay! Kay.
1349
01:54:32,543 --> 01:54:35,709
- Kay!
- I'm going to get the doctor.
1350
01:54:35,709 --> 01:54:37,252
Kay!
1351
01:54:37,252 --> 01:54:38,874
I'm going to get the doctor, Daddy.
1352
01:54:42,293 --> 01:54:46,418
Excuse me. My dad is really unwell.
1353
01:54:46,418 --> 01:54:48,666
Sit. I'll go have a look.
1354
01:54:50,418 --> 01:54:52,460
Maybe you could give him
some more morphine.
1355
01:54:52,460 --> 01:54:55,124
There's something
I'd like to explain.
1356
01:54:56,709 --> 01:54:58,501
I can certainly give him
more morphine,
1357
01:54:58,501 --> 01:55:01,707
but most likely it won't
make much difference.
1358
01:55:02,709 --> 01:55:07,210
Most deaths, fortunately,
are uneventful,
1359
01:55:07,210 --> 01:55:12,751
as long as you medicate the patients
to keep them free of fear and pain.
1360
01:55:12,751 --> 01:55:15,751
In a few cases,
the process of dying
1361
01:55:15,751 --> 01:55:17,541
causes brain damage,
1362
01:55:18,751 --> 01:55:20,999
which triggers
what we call delirium.
1363
01:55:21,751 --> 01:55:26,582
That's not something we can soften
with morphine, unfortunately.
1364
01:55:45,210 --> 01:55:46,666
Daddy.
1365
01:55:56,876 --> 01:55:58,582
It's gonna be okay.
1366
01:56:10,417 --> 01:56:13,290
I don't know
what's happening to me.
1367
01:56:30,209 --> 01:56:32,459
Don't you want to take a little walk?
1368
01:56:32,459 --> 01:56:34,791
I'll stay with your father
in the meantime.
1369
01:56:35,334 --> 01:56:38,209
You'll stay?
You'll stay here?
1370
01:56:38,209 --> 01:56:39,207
Yes.
1371
01:57:36,584 --> 01:57:38,499
Ash tree leaves.
1372
01:57:40,960 --> 01:57:42,749
Where did you find them?
1373
01:57:43,251 --> 01:57:45,123
They were in the park.
1374
01:57:53,251 --> 01:57:56,207
It truly is the most beautiful
tree in the forest.
1375
01:58:00,501 --> 01:58:02,793
But Dad...
1376
01:58:02,793 --> 01:58:05,749
How do you recognize it
in winter?
1377
01:58:06,751 --> 01:58:08,666
Told you 100 times.
1378
01:58:10,709 --> 01:58:12,415
I can't remember.
1379
01:58:17,167 --> 01:58:20,207
When the ash tree was created...
1380
01:58:22,834 --> 01:58:25,791
it made all the other trees
in the forest jealous,
1381
01:58:26,876 --> 01:58:28,666
because it was...
1382
01:58:30,959 --> 01:58:33,582
It was the most beautiful tree
in the forest.
1383
01:58:37,084 --> 01:58:38,915
It had the strongest wood.
1384
01:58:40,084 --> 01:58:41,873
It could be used for anything.
1385
01:58:44,543 --> 01:58:48,415
It was the World Tree
in Norse mythology.
1386
01:58:49,917 --> 01:58:52,873
You couldn't say
anything bad about it.
1387
01:58:57,084 --> 01:59:00,875
And then when all the other
trees saw the ash tree
1388
01:59:00,875 --> 01:59:03,957
with its black buds...
1389
01:59:05,042 --> 01:59:07,123
they all started laughing.
1390
01:59:08,042 --> 01:59:09,541
"Oh, look.
1391
01:59:10,792 --> 01:59:14,374
The ash tree's had its fingers
in the ashes."
1392
01:59:31,501 --> 01:59:34,792
Dad. Daddy!
1393
01:59:34,792 --> 01:59:36,833
Daddy. Daddy, what's wrong?
1394
01:59:36,833 --> 01:59:38,123
Daddy, what's wrong?
1395
01:59:41,709 --> 01:59:44,334
Daddy, it's me!
It's me, then. It's me!
1396
01:59:44,334 --> 01:59:47,207
Help! Help!
1397
01:59:49,917 --> 01:59:51,125
Okay.
1398
01:59:51,125 --> 01:59:53,290
Okay.
1399
01:59:56,334 --> 01:59:58,790
Okay. It's okay, it's okay.
It's all right.
1400
02:00:02,667 --> 02:00:04,457
It's all right.
1401
02:00:14,750 --> 02:00:17,042
We have to fixate him.
1402
02:00:17,042 --> 02:00:20,582
What are you doing?
What are you doing to me?
1403
02:00:25,667 --> 02:00:28,915
Joe! What are
you doing to me?
1404
02:00:43,125 --> 02:00:44,082
Joe!
1405
02:00:44,625 --> 02:00:47,501
Joe!
1406
02:00:47,501 --> 02:00:49,998
I'm sorry.
1407
02:00:55,167 --> 02:00:56,581
You should take a break.
1408
02:02:30,291 --> 02:02:32,040
Excuse me.
1409
02:02:39,333 --> 02:02:41,167
Okay, don't worry.
1410
02:02:41,167 --> 02:02:43,831
Just clean that up.
1411
02:03:30,833 --> 02:03:32,248
Ready?
1412
02:04:35,500 --> 02:04:39,790
When he died,
I had no feelings left.
1413
02:04:40,750 --> 02:04:43,081
Well,
that's certainly understandable.
1414
02:04:43,875 --> 02:04:46,956
No. I don't know
what happened to me.
1415
02:04:48,208 --> 02:04:49,748
It was very shameful.
1416
02:04:50,875 --> 02:04:54,623
Shameful?
I don't understand.
1417
02:05:20,458 --> 02:05:22,665
I lubricated.
1418
02:05:40,375 --> 02:05:42,708
I know you like to present
yourself in a negative way,
1419
02:05:42,708 --> 02:05:45,291
and that you have this,
kind of dark bias
1420
02:05:45,291 --> 02:05:47,373
that you're worse
than everyone else.
1421
02:05:48,041 --> 02:05:49,956
But this story doesn't
add to that belief.
1422
02:05:52,333 --> 02:05:55,706
It's extremely common
to react sexually in a crisis.
1423
02:05:56,500 --> 02:05:59,083
It may be shameful to you, but...
1424
02:05:59,083 --> 02:06:02,581
in literature,
there is many worse examples.
1425
02:06:06,333 --> 02:06:08,665
But I did inherit
my father's caliper.
1426
02:06:11,166 --> 02:06:15,830
I found it so beautiful
and worn by its use.
1427
02:06:17,041 --> 02:06:19,289
What else did you receive?
1428
02:06:22,041 --> 02:06:23,331
Nothing.
1429
02:06:25,124 --> 02:06:27,583
I didn't have the strength
to argue with my mother,
1430
02:06:27,583 --> 02:06:30,958
so I wrote off any further
part of my inheritance.
1431
02:06:30,958 --> 02:06:35,997
Really?
Well, that's a dramatic gesture.
1432
02:06:39,291 --> 02:06:42,749
- You listen to music, I see?
- Yes.
1433
02:06:42,749 --> 02:06:46,916
I like it a lot.
Shall I find a tape?
1434
02:06:46,916 --> 02:06:51,747
No, if there's a tape already
in the machine? I'd like to hear that.
1435
02:06:52,291 --> 02:06:54,333
It's something I've been
listening to a lot lately,
1436
02:06:54,333 --> 02:06:57,622
though it's not an entirely complete
recording, unfortunately.
1437
02:06:58,250 --> 02:07:00,916
- What is it?
- It's Bach.
1438
02:07:00,916 --> 02:07:03,664
From his little organ book.
1439
02:07:10,666 --> 02:07:12,956
The theme is originally a hymn,
1440
02:07:13,832 --> 02:07:17,206
Bach rearranged it
and embellished it a little.
1441
02:07:18,208 --> 02:07:21,416
He was the master at polyphony,
if you know what that is.
1442
02:07:21,416 --> 02:07:24,083
No, yet another thing I don't know.
1443
02:07:24,083 --> 02:07:27,291
Polyphony is
from the Middle Ages.
1444
02:07:27,291 --> 02:07:29,789
It's an entirely European phenomenon.
1445
02:07:30,624 --> 02:07:33,624
It's distinguished
by the idea that,
1446
02:07:33,624 --> 02:07:36,747
every voice is its own melody,
1447
02:07:38,208 --> 02:07:40,164
but together in harmony.
1448
02:07:42,041 --> 02:07:46,250
Bach's forerunner, Palestrina,
he wrote many words
1449
02:07:46,250 --> 02:07:48,916
for several choirs at the same time,
1450
02:07:48,916 --> 02:07:51,331
wallowing in polyphony.
1451
02:08:01,291 --> 02:08:03,541
But in my eyes, Bach perfected
1452
02:08:03,541 --> 02:08:05,872
the melodic expression
and the harmony.
1453
02:08:06,916 --> 02:08:11,333
And also mixed up with some
rather incomprehensible
1454
02:08:11,333 --> 02:08:13,707
mystique regarding numbers,
1455
02:08:13,707 --> 02:08:17,455
most likely based on
the Fibonacci Sequence.
1456
02:08:19,041 --> 02:08:21,374
You know the one that
starts with the zero,
1457
02:08:21,374 --> 02:08:22,580
and then comes the one.
1458
02:08:23,291 --> 02:08:27,541
The sequence is created by
adding the two previous numbers
1459
02:08:27,541 --> 02:08:30,832
to create the new one,
so it's zero plus one makes one.
1460
02:08:30,832 --> 02:08:33,707
and one plus one makes two,
and two plus one makes three
1461
02:08:33,707 --> 02:08:37,124
and three plus two makes five,
and five plus three makes eight,
1462
02:08:37,124 --> 02:08:39,291
and eight plus five makes 13.
1463
02:08:39,291 --> 02:08:41,041
The sequence has an
interesting connection
1464
02:08:41,041 --> 02:08:43,789
to Pythagoras' theorem
of the Golden Section.
1465
02:08:45,541 --> 02:08:48,999
It was all about finding out
a divine methodology
1466
02:08:48,999 --> 02:08:50,916
in art and architecture.
1467
02:08:50,916 --> 02:08:52,874
A bit like the way a tri-tone,
1468
02:08:52,874 --> 02:08:54,999
which was played on the piano
in your little club
1469
02:08:54,999 --> 02:08:56,956
was supposed to be
a satanic interval.
1470
02:08:58,624 --> 02:09:02,789
The sum of the numeric values
represented in Bach's name is 14,
1471
02:09:03,791 --> 02:09:06,041
a number he often used
in his compositions.
1472
02:09:06,041 --> 02:09:07,874
The clever thing about Bach's name
1473
02:09:07,874 --> 02:09:11,457
is that the numeric value
of the individual letters
1474
02:09:11,457 --> 02:09:13,206
are all Fibonacci numbers.
1475
02:09:16,290 --> 02:09:18,874
This piece has three voices:
1476
02:09:18,874 --> 02:09:20,039
the bass voice...
1477
02:09:25,874 --> 02:09:27,747
The second voice
played with the left hand.
1478
02:09:32,499 --> 02:09:34,415
The first voice played
with the right hand.
1479
02:09:34,415 --> 02:09:38,332
That is called
Cantus Firmus, or Cantu firmus.
1480
02:09:38,332 --> 02:09:42,497
And together, these three voices
create the polyphony.
1481
02:11:13,249 --> 02:11:16,541
Well, if I should compare
this with my story,
1482
02:11:16,541 --> 02:11:19,915
it's reminiscent of
a quality of nymphomania,
1483
02:11:19,915 --> 02:11:23,457
which is normally ignored,
but nonetheless essential,
1484
02:11:23,457 --> 02:11:27,121
and namely the relationship
between the various intercourses.
1485
02:11:29,749 --> 02:11:31,998
That's interesting.
1486
02:11:31,998 --> 02:11:34,705
They create a... a completeness?
1487
02:11:36,082 --> 02:11:38,415
As, for example, the handshake,
1488
02:11:38,415 --> 02:11:41,666
which for all people
is the sum of
1489
02:11:41,666 --> 02:11:44,582
all the different handshakes
that together
1490
02:11:44,582 --> 02:11:47,957
form our view
of what a handshake is.
1491
02:11:47,957 --> 02:11:50,873
The good, the bad handshake,
1492
02:11:50,873 --> 02:11:52,539
the firm, the limp.
1493
02:11:54,582 --> 02:11:57,288
Normally, a nymphomaniac
is seen as...
1494
02:11:58,582 --> 02:12:00,622
someone who can't get enough,
1495
02:12:01,541 --> 02:12:03,915
and therefore, has sex
with many different people.
1496
02:12:03,915 --> 02:12:05,624
Well, that, of course, is true,
1497
02:12:05,624 --> 02:12:10,374
but if I'm to be honest,
I see it precisely as
1498
02:12:10,374 --> 02:12:14,996
the sum of all these different
sexual experiences.
1499
02:12:16,831 --> 02:12:20,955
So in that way,
I have only one lover.
1500
02:12:25,707 --> 02:12:28,541
Since the music
has three voices,
1501
02:12:28,541 --> 02:12:32,415
I will limit myself to talking
about three lovers.
1502
02:12:32,415 --> 02:12:36,247
The bass is easy.
That's F.
1503
02:12:36,831 --> 02:12:40,205
F had a red car
that he'd bought used.
1504
02:12:43,123 --> 02:12:44,415
As I was having sex
1505
02:12:44,415 --> 02:12:48,582
with seven or eight men
every night at the time,
1506
02:12:48,582 --> 02:12:50,873
scheduling was tricky.
1507
02:12:50,873 --> 02:12:53,873
And they all had to have
precise appointments.
1508
02:12:53,873 --> 02:12:56,915
F was a good man.
1509
02:12:56,915 --> 02:12:59,624
If he was scheduled
for ten o'clock,
1510
02:12:59,624 --> 02:13:03,915
he always showed up around nine
and parked down in the street.
1511
02:13:03,915 --> 02:13:06,205
I always smiled when I saw him.
1512
02:13:08,040 --> 02:13:11,706
Often I took pity on him,
and gave him a cup of coffee,
1513
02:13:11,706 --> 02:13:13,913
although I was finishing
with the one before.
1514
02:13:16,541 --> 02:13:20,040
It's hard to say why I'm
choosing to talk about F,
1515
02:13:20,040 --> 02:13:21,704
but he was reassuring,
1516
02:13:22,249 --> 02:13:25,539
and he knew exactly what
I wanted when we had sex.
1517
02:13:26,457 --> 02:13:30,082
No, I'd go even further,
and say that there was
1518
02:13:30,082 --> 02:13:33,288
a kind of telepathy going on
when we had sex.
1519
02:13:34,374 --> 02:13:38,790
Without words, he knew
exactly what I wanted,
1520
02:13:38,790 --> 02:13:41,871
where he should touch me
and what he should do.
1521
02:13:43,540 --> 02:13:47,871
The most sacred goal for F
was my orgasm.
1522
02:13:48,748 --> 02:13:51,665
Why? And then...
1523
02:13:51,665 --> 02:13:55,790
the swans answered
in the same voice.
1524
02:13:55,790 --> 02:13:57,915
And granted him privileges
1525
02:13:57,915 --> 02:14:00,080
none of the others received.
1526
02:14:06,665 --> 02:14:08,873
F was the bass voice.
1527
02:14:08,873 --> 02:14:12,790
Monotone, predictable
and ritualistic.
1528
02:14:12,790 --> 02:14:14,748
No doubt about it.
1529
02:14:14,748 --> 02:14:18,415
But also the foundation
that is so important,
1530
02:14:18,415 --> 02:14:21,538
even if on its own
it doesn't mean much.
1531
02:14:54,581 --> 02:14:56,496
G was quite different.
1532
02:14:57,581 --> 02:15:01,329
The only one I had to,
and wanted to wait for.
1533
02:15:02,331 --> 02:15:05,915
When he finally turned up
and I opened the door,
1534
02:15:05,915 --> 02:15:08,290
he didn't immediately enter,
1535
02:15:08,290 --> 02:15:11,249
the way a cat doesn't
when you let it in.
1536
02:15:11,249 --> 02:15:13,748
As if,
once the door is open,
1537
02:15:13,748 --> 02:15:15,871
it has all the time
in the world.
1538
02:15:22,748 --> 02:15:25,123
But he was more
than a cat.
1539
02:15:25,123 --> 02:15:28,246
He was like some kind
of jaguar, or leopard.
1540
02:15:29,623 --> 02:15:31,998
He moved like them,
1541
02:15:31,998 --> 02:15:34,621
which turned me on no end.
1542
02:15:45,373 --> 02:15:47,831
When he laid down on my bed,
1543
02:15:47,831 --> 02:15:50,456
it was clear to me that
I should approach him,
1544
02:15:50,456 --> 02:15:52,329
and not the other way round.
1545
02:15:52,915 --> 02:15:58,331
And when I did touch him,
it was with some hesitation,
1546
02:15:58,331 --> 02:16:01,748
as his reactions
were unpredictable.
1547
02:16:01,748 --> 02:16:04,746
He was in charge.
That's the way it was.
1548
02:16:55,206 --> 02:16:57,540
Despite my success in managing
1549
02:16:57,540 --> 02:17:00,790
the complicated logistics
involved with arranging
1550
02:17:00,790 --> 02:17:04,289
up to ten daily
sexual satisfactions,
1551
02:17:04,289 --> 02:17:07,122
while also having
a full-time job,
1552
02:17:07,122 --> 02:17:10,498
I was still prone to
a certain sadness.
1553
02:17:10,498 --> 02:17:13,456
So when my busy life
allowed a few breaks,
1554
02:17:13,456 --> 02:17:15,746
I used them
to take my walks.
1555
02:17:16,748 --> 02:17:20,206
These repeated walks
became a kind of metaphor
1556
02:17:20,206 --> 02:17:23,287
for my life.
Monotonous and pointless.
1557
02:17:25,997 --> 02:17:29,704
Yes, precisely like the
movements of a caged animal.
1558
02:17:31,289 --> 02:17:34,079
Basically, we're all waiting
for permission to die.
1559
02:19:01,665 --> 02:19:03,162
No.
1560
02:19:04,039 --> 02:19:07,039
No, no, no. No, there...
1561
02:19:07,039 --> 02:19:09,789
There are some completely
unrealistic coincidences
1562
02:19:09,789 --> 02:19:11,454
in your story about Jerome.
1563
02:19:13,664 --> 02:19:17,498
First, by chance, he hires you as...
As an assistant.
1564
02:19:17,498 --> 02:19:19,081
And then you take a walk in a forest,
1565
02:19:19,081 --> 02:19:20,914
and it's littered
with photographs of him.
1566
02:19:20,914 --> 02:19:23,870
And not only that... he's present.
1567
02:19:24,914 --> 02:19:29,622
And then like a god,
pulls you up to him through the clouds.
1568
02:19:29,622 --> 02:19:33,329
So what?
That's the way this story goes.
1569
02:19:34,122 --> 02:19:37,162
And I'm the one telling it,
and I know what happened.
1570
02:19:38,414 --> 02:19:40,329
Do you want to hear it or not?
1571
02:19:43,872 --> 02:19:45,620
Goodness gracious.
1572
02:19:57,747 --> 02:19:59,620
What a strange way to meet.
1573
02:20:01,456 --> 02:20:02,454
Yes.
1574
02:20:04,414 --> 02:20:06,456
It's a very strange way.
1575
02:20:06,456 --> 02:20:09,039
Jerome was there
because he'd just had a fight
1576
02:20:09,039 --> 02:20:12,081
with his wife, who in anger
tore up the photographs
1577
02:20:12,081 --> 02:20:14,331
they just had developed
from their travels.
1578
02:20:14,331 --> 02:20:17,081
I don't know if I can believe this.
1579
02:20:17,081 --> 02:20:18,830
Which way
do you think you'd get the most
1580
02:20:18,830 --> 02:20:20,373
out of my story?
1581
02:20:20,373 --> 02:20:22,745
By believing in it
or not believing in it?
1582
02:20:23,914 --> 02:20:25,456
Yeah, you're right.
1583
02:20:25,456 --> 02:20:27,120
You might have a point
with all this.
1584
02:20:31,248 --> 02:20:35,204
The secret ingredient
to sex is love.
1585
02:20:39,331 --> 02:20:42,204
The third voice,
the secret ingredient.
1586
02:20:43,122 --> 02:20:44,703
Cantus Firmus.
1587
02:22:19,664 --> 02:22:22,954
Fill all my holes.
1588
02:23:22,163 --> 02:23:23,413
What's wrong?
1589
02:23:23,413 --> 02:23:26,121
Hmm?
1590
02:23:26,121 --> 02:23:29,288
- I can't feel anything.
- Huh?
1591
02:23:29,288 --> 02:23:30,787
I can't feel anything.
1592
02:23:33,622 --> 02:23:35,620
I can't feel anything.
1593
02:23:37,872 --> 02:23:40,370
I can't... anything.118570
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