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1
00:00:36,436 --> 00:00:37,770
I'll be right back.
2
00:00:46,279 --> 00:00:51,450
Adam Mitchell,
3
00:00:51,451 --> 00:00:55,320
I think of you fondly.
4
00:00:57,090 --> 00:00:58,624
No, that's stupid.
Um...
5
00:01:03,162 --> 00:01:04,430
I love you.
6
00:01:06,599 --> 00:01:08,634
I've always loved you.
7
00:01:13,772 --> 00:01:17,475
"You look beautiful,
Cassie."
8
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,144
I don't know what's happening.
9
00:01:19,146 --> 00:01:22,213
This is the only thing
10
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:24,349
that you should be
wearing right now.
11
00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:29,487
Chester, have you seen Cassie?
12
00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:33,525
- Um...
- Are you moist?
13
00:01:34,860 --> 00:01:36,662
It's supposed to help.
14
00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:41,432
I don't...
I think so.
15
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:45,436
Good enough.
Okay, just... let's get...
16
00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,239
I can't get it in.
17
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:51,276
It's kind of, um, squishy.
18
00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:53,579
Are you sure you're ready?
19
00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:55,447
Yeah.
20
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:57,348
I was born ready.
21
00:01:57,350 --> 00:01:59,852
Hey. Hey, Adam.
22
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:01,853
Adam, it's okay.
23
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:04,423
It's a lot of pressure.
24
00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:07,292
Hey. Hey, Adam,
25
00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:09,760
Adam, it's okay.
26
00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:13,397
It's just us.
27
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:14,733
I...
28
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,906
- I...
- I need to pee.
29
00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:21,908
Maybe.
30
00:02:27,813 --> 00:02:30,748
We could always try again later.
31
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:34,652
Adam?
32
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,420
Are you freaking kidding me?
33
00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:40,893
Get out of my parent's
bed, you tramp!
34
00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:45,697
Uh, Adam?
35
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:48,699
Adam, my clothes are in there.
36
00:02:48,701 --> 00:02:50,801
Adam. Adam, please.
37
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:52,670
Get out of my house
before I call the police.
38
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,939
- For what?
- For stuff.
39
00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:57,276
I don't know.
Whore.
40
00:02:58,510 --> 00:03:01,812
...What a whore!
41
00:03:01,814 --> 00:03:03,448
Where are you going, slut?
42
00:03:04,817 --> 00:03:06,951
...What are you doing?
43
00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:10,455
Come on, the party just started.
Stay awhile.
44
00:03:14,826 --> 00:03:16,328
- Um...
- Oh, my god.
45
00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:17,930
What a little tramp.
46
00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:21,633
Bye!
47
00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:30,675
Hey.
48
00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:32,677
Cassie Cranston, is that you?
49
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,947
- Shit!
- Did you just say "shit"?
50
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,990
Jesus, Seth.
51
00:03:44,991 --> 00:03:47,425
- That's my mom's.
- I'll bring it back.
52
00:03:47,427 --> 00:03:49,360
Okay.
53
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,567
Lana Parker called me about you,
54
00:03:56,569 --> 00:04:00,671
said you streaked
through her backyard.
55
00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:02,473
And she wasn't the only one.
56
00:04:02,475 --> 00:04:04,276
All of beaver's Ridge
is abuzz about you.
57
00:04:04,277 --> 00:04:06,344
It was so horrible, mom.
They all...
58
00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:09,514
don't say another word.
59
00:04:09,515 --> 00:04:11,550
You embarrassed me tonight.
60
00:04:11,551 --> 00:04:13,852
You embarrassed yourself.
61
00:04:13,853 --> 00:04:15,454
Please, mom, I'm...
62
00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:17,389
don't you care
what others think of you?
63
00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:22,593
Don't you?
64
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,028
Oh, stop sulking.
65
00:04:24,031 --> 00:04:26,598
Go in the house
before anyone sees you.
66
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,079
Unless you can think of another
way you can mortify me tonight.
67
00:04:55,894 --> 00:04:57,295
Fuck, yeah.
68
00:05:19,451 --> 00:05:20,619
Hey, Ellie.
69
00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:22,454
Sorry I missed all your calls.
70
00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:24,456
I have your pages, I just, um...
71
00:05:24,457 --> 00:05:27,625
Cassie, uh, it's your mom.
72
00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:30,995
- Oh, Christ, what now?
- She passed.
73
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,831
Well, good. I didn't want her
writing the forward, anyway.
74
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:35,033
- That was your idea.
- No, um,
75
00:05:35,034 --> 00:05:36,367
she's gone.
76
00:05:38,103 --> 00:05:39,437
On tour?
77
00:05:41,106 --> 00:05:44,709
No. I'm sorry, Cassie.
78
00:05:44,711 --> 00:05:46,043
I know the two of you
weren't very close,
79
00:05:46,045 --> 00:05:47,978
but, um, look,
80
00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:52,117
I, uh, still need
that manuscript from you
81
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:53,651
as soon as possible.
82
00:05:53,653 --> 00:05:55,821
But, um,
83
00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:58,023
you know, take a few days.
84
00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:01,726
Go home.
85
00:07:19,204 --> 00:07:21,505
Afternoon, Adam.
How are you doing?
86
00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:23,675
- Good, good. -You're looking very good.
Looking fit.
87
00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:25,877
I just want to talk to you about the
apple butter festival this year.
88
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:27,579
- Yeah. -'Cause last year the
judging got some complaints.
89
00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:28,846
- Yeah.
- Are you in this year?
90
00:07:28,848 --> 00:07:30,649
- Absolutely.
'Cause you'd make a great judge.
91
00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:32,932
- You love apple butter, don't you?
- I love apple butter.
92
00:07:34,887 --> 00:07:38,757
Oh, you've gotta be
fucking kidding me.
93
00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:40,024
If you're here for the tour,
94
00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:41,225
Justin's taking one out now.
95
00:07:41,228 --> 00:07:42,927
Yeah.
Uh, Mr. Thicodedious,
96
00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:44,696
have you got
your Insulin this time?
97
00:07:44,697 --> 00:07:47,598
All right, now, for our
first stop, everybody,
98
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,100
it's gonna be
the church that inspired
99
00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:53,637
the exciting conclusion
to the fifth Victoria novel...
100
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:56,173
I'm not here for the tour.
101
00:07:56,175 --> 00:07:59,810
I just wanted
to check the place out.
102
00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:02,112
It's cool.
103
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:05,584
Holy fuck.
You're Cassie Cranston.
104
00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:09,620
I'm... I'm literally reading
your column right now.
105
00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:13,791
- It's like my Bible.
- Thank you.
106
00:08:13,793 --> 00:08:15,125
That's a good one.
107
00:08:15,127 --> 00:08:17,495
How's that working out for you?
108
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,896
Oh, it's... yeah.
109
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:20,632
No, it's like... not really.
It's fine.
110
00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:22,500
- Oh.
- I'm sorry, I just...
111
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,235
I never thought that I would
get to meet you.
112
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:26,538
I saw you the night
113
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,540
that you went through town
114
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:30,875
with... with your tits and stuff
and it just...
115
00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:34,980
it blew my mind, and, uh,
and every time,
116
00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:37,249
I just get fed up with this
place, I read your first article
117
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,116
that you ever wrote... the one
that made people hate you,
118
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:41,219
and, like,
it's so comforting to me.
119
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:44,188
"Dear beaver's Ridge, the following
article has been formatted
120
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,191
to fit your narrow and oppressed
view of the universe."
121
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,293
It is a great opening line.
It's so epic.
122
00:08:48,294 --> 00:08:50,294
Thank you.
123
00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:52,197
What are you doing here?
124
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:55,600
Well, my mom died, so...
125
00:08:55,601 --> 00:08:57,235
Fuck and shit.
126
00:08:57,236 --> 00:09:00,171
Hey, you wouldn't happen to know
127
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:02,673
who the wills and estates
lawyer is?
128
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:05,277
I do. Um, yes.
129
00:09:08,179 --> 00:09:10,014
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
130
00:09:10,017 --> 00:09:11,649
Oh, god.
131
00:09:13,686 --> 00:09:15,687
Nice to meet you.
Thank you so much.
132
00:09:15,688 --> 00:09:17,154
Bye.
133
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:21,293
Fuck.
134
00:09:35,341 --> 00:09:36,774
Why can't we show it today?
135
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:38,109
Well, the town's
national treasure died.
136
00:09:38,110 --> 00:09:39,744
People are super sad and stuff.
137
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:41,846
No one wants to buy a house
when they're sad.
138
00:09:44,817 --> 00:09:47,184
It's listed too high.
139
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:48,886
In the city, we'd list it
25 percent lower.
140
00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:50,221
It starts a bidding war.
141
00:09:50,222 --> 00:09:51,855
No. See?
There's no bidding wars here.
142
00:09:51,857 --> 00:09:54,158
What you do is,
you go 25 percent higher,
143
00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:56,193
and then people think
they're getting a bargain
144
00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:58,096
when they Jew us down.
145
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:02,801
I'm Jewish.
146
00:10:06,038 --> 00:10:08,340
- I'm sorry.
- Don't apologize.
147
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:11,076
Just don't say that
in front of clients,
148
00:10:11,077 --> 00:10:12,977
unless small-town bigotry
is something that...
149
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,678
Binds the town together.
150
00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:17,014
Kind of.
151
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:19,216
Although we do have a major
that's a paki.
152
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:21,251
So, or paki...
He's a paki... Pakistan.
153
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:22,921
Pakistan... Pakistani.
154
00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:25,389
Is that what you call
those people?
155
00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:26,924
Look, the main selling point
156
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,759
of all the homes
in beaver's Ridge,
157
00:10:28,761 --> 00:10:31,929
is that you're coming
to a community, you know?
158
00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:33,731
It's wholesome,
159
00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:35,399
those family values.
160
00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:37,769
You know, the kind of place
maybe you could see yourself
161
00:10:37,770 --> 00:10:41,405
setting up
your own little family.
162
00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:43,307
- Are you fucking shitting me?
163
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,975
Oh, hey, Bruce.
164
00:10:46,912 --> 00:10:48,413
Hey, buddy.
165
00:10:48,414 --> 00:10:50,782
I told you I was bringing
my new partner by today!
166
00:10:50,783 --> 00:10:52,783
Was that today?
What time...
167
00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:54,719
oh, I'm sorry
that slipped my mind.
168
00:10:54,721 --> 00:10:58,056
So you're the home owners?
169
00:10:58,057 --> 00:11:01,158
- This is my wife.
- Nah, uh, hah, ex-wife.
170
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,260
Temporary separation, Alice.
171
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:05,363
Until you get off your ass
and sign the papers.
172
00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:07,865
- This is my house!
- Oh, my goodness.
173
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:10,235
It's not.
It's my house.
174
00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:13,004
Why don't you get
your shit out of it?
175
00:11:21,312 --> 00:11:23,847
I will rip the batteries
out of that game thing
176
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,115
so fast,
your head is gonna spin.
177
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:27,251
Stop treating me
like a child, mom.
178
00:11:27,254 --> 00:11:28,952
Take this casserole
over to Maureen's.
179
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:31,188
- No one's even there.
- If that little tramp
180
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:34,725
daughter of hers turns up,
she'll need food.
181
00:11:34,727 --> 00:11:38,163
- Did you make me one of these?
- -This is the house
182
00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:40,731
where Maureen wrote every
single one of the books.
183
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:42,133
Okay, now it's also
184
00:11:42,134 --> 00:11:45,470
the inspiration
for Victoria's childhood home.
185
00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:47,238
And this tree right here, folks,
186
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:51,076
this is the tree where
Victoria had her first kiss.
187
00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:55,145
Also, the tree where Mr. Cobell
proposed marriage.
188
00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:59,951
- Sorry about your mom.
189
00:11:59,952 --> 00:12:02,921
Go ahead and take some photos
if you want.
190
00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:04,855
Thanks, Seth.
191
00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:11,462
Do you play
father-daughter warfare?
192
00:12:11,465 --> 00:12:13,130
I have no idea what that is.
193
00:13:12,323 --> 00:13:15,259
Ovulation begins
in t-minus five days.
194
00:13:15,261 --> 00:13:17,361
Now, I've given
your secretary the itinerary,
195
00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:18,462
and she's freed your schedule
196
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:19,898
for the corresponding times.
197
00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:21,298
Those are non-negotiable.
198
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,966
3:00 P.M.
means 3:00 P.M.
199
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:24,101
Not quarter after.
200
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:25,970
I'm sorry I was late today.
201
00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:27,471
Now, when you walk in that door,
I want you to be fully aroused.
202
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,374
Okay, sweetheart?
203
00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:31,576
Fully aroused, yeah.
204
00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:33,344
This is fun, huh?
205
00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:35,879
- Sweetie, this isn't for enjoyment.
- Right.
206
00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:38,216
You know, the doctor said that we need
to keep a steady flow of semen going
207
00:13:38,217 --> 00:13:40,384
to maximize our chances
for when the time comes.
208
00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:43,086
We don't want to be the only 30-year-olds
in town without a child, do we?
209
00:13:43,088 --> 00:13:45,023
Uh-uh.
210
00:13:45,024 --> 00:13:46,323
We just need to keep
the semen schedule. Okay?
211
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,293
- All right.
212
00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:52,129
Adam, we need to finish.
213
00:13:52,131 --> 00:13:53,831
That's my work ring though.
214
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,033
...Oh! God, Connie!
215
00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:56,868
Oh, my god.
216
00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:59,169
Can I just answer it real quick,
and I'll get back to you?
217
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,240
Okay.
218
00:14:06,177 --> 00:14:07,511
Adam Mitchell.
219
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,346
Hi.
220
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:13,217
Uh...
It's Cassie Cranston.
221
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:14,619
Uh, uh, hi.
222
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:17,288
So, you're a lawyer.
223
00:14:17,289 --> 00:14:20,524
Um... uh, honey,
it's um, it's... it's super dry.
224
00:14:27,332 --> 00:14:29,167
Um, wills and estates,
mostly, yeah.
225
00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:31,402
When did you get back into town?
226
00:14:31,403 --> 00:14:34,205
Just now.
227
00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:37,375
- The library's gone, huh?
- Yeah, yeah.
228
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:39,476
It burned to the ground
about eight years ago.
229
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:41,479
It was a huge fire.
It was a terrible tragedy.
230
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:44,915
Those poor schoolchildren with
nothing to do with their free time.
231
00:14:46,652 --> 00:14:49,254
Uh, right. So,
232
00:14:49,255 --> 00:14:51,255
I need to plan the funeral.
233
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:52,657
Oh, I did that already.
234
00:14:52,658 --> 00:14:54,524
I did it all by myself.
Oh, god...
235
00:15:07,105 --> 00:15:08,438
sorry, where were we?
236
00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:11,408
- Everything okay over there?
- Yeah.
237
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:14,979
I'm, uh... I'm...
I'm glad you're in town.
238
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:17,148
Why?
239
00:15:17,149 --> 00:15:18,649
Well, you know,
you're next of kin,
240
00:15:18,652 --> 00:15:21,052
you got to sign the, uh,
documents... relevant documents,
241
00:15:21,053 --> 00:15:23,321
there's all sorts of stuff,
and, uh,
242
00:15:23,322 --> 00:15:26,224
I mean, I just always kind of assumed
you would never be coming home.
243
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,559
Well, my mom died.
244
00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:31,129
I mean,
why wouldn't I come home?
245
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:34,298
- 'Cause of the article?
- Yeah, right, of course.
246
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:37,302
So, when do we read the will?
247
00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:38,602
After the funeral.
248
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,004
Right.
249
00:15:42,173 --> 00:15:45,043
Okay, well I've bothered
you after business hours,
250
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:47,511
so, I'll let you
get back to your wife.
251
00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:50,480
- I assume you're married.
- Oh, yeah, actually.
252
00:15:52,116 --> 00:15:54,552
Okay, uh, well, uh,
thanks for everything.
253
00:15:54,553 --> 00:15:56,120
You actually know my wi...
254
00:15:57,322 --> 00:15:59,389
...sweetie, we talk about
255
00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:03,260
you warning me before you
release your demons.
256
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:06,563
That face you make
it's like staring into the sun.
257
00:16:07,732 --> 00:16:09,200
A lot of that is involuntary.
258
00:16:22,347 --> 00:16:23,748
You didn't call.
259
00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:27,317
What was I supposed to say?
260
00:16:31,057 --> 00:16:33,323
You will now have a passage
261
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:37,095
from Maureen's first Victoria
book read by Heather Mitchell,
262
00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:41,365
president of the Victoria of the
true north festival committee.
263
00:16:44,571 --> 00:16:47,705
"Victoria had always been aware,
264
00:16:47,706 --> 00:16:50,140
ever since her first memories,
265
00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:54,177
that she was very near
to a world of deviant morality.
266
00:16:56,315 --> 00:17:00,717
But sometimes,
just for a moment,
267
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:04,087
her loved ones neared it,
and she caught a glimpse,
268
00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:06,691
of the bewitching world beyond,
269
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:09,527
and she knew that it would
be her life's work...
270
00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:13,263
To keep herself
and others from it."
271
00:17:16,068 --> 00:17:18,135
I hate everything.
272
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:25,076
Remember when you left me here
alone with all of these people?
273
00:17:25,077 --> 00:17:27,678
The sooner I get out
of here, the better.
274
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:31,214
- She just had to show up today.
- Oh, my god.
275
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,651
- It's her mother's funeral.
- Oh, button it.
276
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:36,520
- I'm gonna go give her a piece of my mind.
- Honey, don't...
277
00:17:36,522 --> 00:17:39,490
is this really the best place
for a confrontation like this?
278
00:17:40,659 --> 00:17:43,361
Cassie Cranston.
279
00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:45,328
Heather Murray.
280
00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:47,632
Or, is it Mitchell now?
281
00:17:47,634 --> 00:17:50,334
On behalf of beaver's Ridge
welcoming committee,
282
00:17:50,336 --> 00:17:51,836
I would like to formally
let you know
283
00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:54,204
that you are not welcome.
284
00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:56,307
That is,
you are not welcome here.
285
00:17:56,308 --> 00:17:57,808
Wow.
286
00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,444
As far as condolences go,
that was original.
287
00:18:00,446 --> 00:18:01,778
Did I go something?
288
00:18:01,780 --> 00:18:04,449
You did something
to this entire town.
289
00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:07,451
Right, the article.
Is that it?
290
00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:10,087
You may have grown up here,
but you know nothing about us.
291
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:14,659
I mean, we get up to some
pretty wild shenanigans.
292
00:18:14,661 --> 00:18:17,494
Like what?
293
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:19,363
The true north festival?
294
00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:21,199
- The apple butter parade?
295
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:22,532
Hey, I don't mean
to butt in here,
296
00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:24,234
but I will not stand idly by,
297
00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:27,204
while you trash talk
the apple butter parade.
298
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:28,705
Bruce, everybody, can we just
please give Cassie a break?
299
00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:31,541
Whose side are you on,
really, Adam?
300
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:34,644
Wipe that smile off your face.
301
00:18:34,646 --> 00:18:37,347
You think you're the only one
who's had a little excitement?
302
00:18:37,349 --> 00:18:39,784
Well, let me tell you,
I have had my share
303
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:42,353
- of excitement.
- Okay. Do tell.
304
00:18:43,888 --> 00:18:46,691
I slept with a black man
in college.
305
00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:49,126
My stars.
306
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,509
Ever been with a woman?
307
00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:53,830
I kissed a girl once,
I didn't care for it.
308
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,599
Sex tape?
309
00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:57,701
We make them, and watch them often.
Big whoop.
310
00:18:57,703 --> 00:18:59,871
Anything else?
311
00:18:59,873 --> 00:19:01,806
Have you ever been in an orgy?
312
00:19:04,576 --> 00:19:05,675
I'm sorry.
313
00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:13,683
Hey, you know, hon',
314
00:19:13,685 --> 00:19:15,653
it's been kind of a rough day,
315
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:17,288
we've got a little time
before dinner,
316
00:19:17,289 --> 00:19:20,423
maybe we could, uh, you know...
317
00:19:20,425 --> 00:19:23,394
- I'm not ovulating.
- Yeah, I know, I know.
318
00:19:23,395 --> 00:19:26,364
I just thought maybe we
could, uh, have a little fun.
319
00:19:26,365 --> 00:19:29,166
Oh, sweetie...
320
00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:31,469
no. Fun time was yesterday
321
00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:34,305
just... just like the
schedule says, remember?
322
00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:37,174
You just have to keep
your... your sperm fresh.
323
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,542
You don't need me for that.
324
00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:41,711
Besides, it...
it really turns me on
325
00:19:41,713 --> 00:19:45,449
to think of you
doing that to yourself.
326
00:19:45,451 --> 00:19:47,718
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
327
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,586
Yeah, I could do that.
328
00:19:49,588 --> 00:19:51,756
- Hey, you wanna watch?
- Mm-mm.
329
00:19:51,758 --> 00:19:53,790
No, that's okay,
that's okay. Yeah.
330
00:20:07,405 --> 00:20:09,240
You look beautiful, Cassie.
331
00:20:10,976 --> 00:20:13,510
It's okay.
332
00:20:13,512 --> 00:20:15,313
It's just us.
333
00:20:16,815 --> 00:20:18,982
It's always been just us.
334
00:20:18,984 --> 00:20:22,486
- But I ran away. -You're
not going anywhere now.
335
00:20:24,722 --> 00:20:27,525
Are you freaking kidding me?
336
00:20:52,683 --> 00:20:55,519
Ah! Ah! Ah!
337
00:21:01,026 --> 00:21:03,394
Well, the results say
that Adam suffers
338
00:21:03,395 --> 00:21:05,262
"from necrzoospermia,"
339
00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:08,298
which means that all of
his sperm are non-viable.
340
00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:09,866
Which means dead.
341
00:21:09,868 --> 00:21:12,303
All of them?
342
00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:14,739
- There's really nothing we can do.
- Well, I'm sorry, doctor,
343
00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:17,307
I just don't know what I'm
supposed to do in this situation.
344
00:21:17,309 --> 00:21:20,310
After all this time, I know
how frustrated you must be.
345
00:21:20,313 --> 00:21:22,313
Look, the waiting list
for sperm banks
346
00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:25,583
and adoption agencies
are at least two to three years.
347
00:21:25,585 --> 00:21:28,752
If you want my honest, completely
off-the-record opinion,
348
00:21:28,755 --> 00:21:30,488
if it were me,
349
00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:32,656
I would try to get a friend,
or someone I knew,
350
00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:34,959
to give me a personal donation.
351
00:21:39,597 --> 00:21:41,999
First you folks
tell me what you paid for it.
352
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,867
Then we'll have
a good laugh about it
353
00:21:43,869 --> 00:21:45,368
and we'll start
"jewing" them down.
354
00:21:47,673 --> 00:21:49,740
- The hell with it. -Line
one for you, Bruce!
355
00:21:49,741 --> 00:21:51,041
Yes, thank you, Georgina.
356
00:21:55,447 --> 00:21:57,882
- The buck stops here, how
can I help you? -Bruce?
357
00:21:57,884 --> 00:21:59,683
- It's Heather Mitchell. -You're
the only Heather in town.
358
00:21:59,685 --> 00:22:01,051
You don't need
to tell me your full name
359
00:22:01,054 --> 00:22:03,320
every single time you call.
360
00:22:03,323 --> 00:22:04,755
You know.
361
00:22:06,791 --> 00:22:08,992
Not a lot of funerals end
with an orgy throw-down.
362
00:22:12,432 --> 00:22:15,066
- I'd go to an orgy.
- No, you wouldn't.
363
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:17,667
Yeah, I can grow
a mustache for it,
364
00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:20,438
- or a soul patch
- whatever.
365
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:21,705
I'll have you know,
I'm an extremely
366
00:22:21,708 --> 00:22:24,375
- sexual person.
- Oh, my god.
367
00:22:24,376 --> 00:22:26,810
I had a sex dream
about you once.
368
00:22:26,813 --> 00:22:29,579
I don't want to know that.
369
00:22:29,582 --> 00:22:30,948
Do you have any idea
how many people
370
00:22:30,950 --> 00:22:33,483
I've had sex dreams about?
371
00:22:33,486 --> 00:22:36,119
It's hardly
an exclusive club, okay?
372
00:22:39,724 --> 00:22:42,425
So...
How was I?
373
00:22:44,730 --> 00:22:46,963
Oh, screw you!
Whatever.
374
00:22:46,965 --> 00:22:48,932
If I sucked,
it's probably because
375
00:22:48,934 --> 00:22:50,800
- you have a shitty imagination.
- Okay, you know what?
376
00:22:50,802 --> 00:22:52,970
I knew you'd be weird about this.
I knew you would be.
377
00:22:52,971 --> 00:22:55,138
You're my boss, dude,
and you babysat me once.
378
00:22:55,141 --> 00:22:57,375
- So.
- I think.
379
00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:59,042
It is actually illegal for you
to be into me, or something.
380
00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:01,010
Okay, first of all,
I did not say I was into you,
381
00:23:01,012 --> 00:23:03,381
and secondly,
I didn't babysit you.
382
00:23:03,383 --> 00:23:06,049
We played videogames while our moms
smoked cigarettes and played bridge.
383
00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:07,585
So, it doesn't...
384
00:23:07,586 --> 00:23:09,586
That's what guys do,
though, isn't it?
385
00:23:09,588 --> 00:23:12,021
They befriend a girl
just to gain her trust,
386
00:23:12,023 --> 00:23:13,958
so that they can
have sex with them.
387
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:15,659
I mean, why else
are you friends with me?
388
00:23:15,661 --> 00:23:17,661
Must be your shining
personality.
389
00:23:17,663 --> 00:23:20,431
Your sarcastic tone
is unnecessary.
390
00:23:23,469 --> 00:23:25,469
Hey, Heather.
What's going on?
391
00:23:28,006 --> 00:23:29,673
In the matter of the
last will and testament,
392
00:23:29,674 --> 00:23:33,611
of Maureen Margaret Cranston...
393
00:23:33,613 --> 00:23:36,113
She has declared
that her residuals
394
00:23:36,115 --> 00:23:38,516
from any book sales,
which as you know
395
00:23:38,518 --> 00:23:40,183
are still quite considerable,
396
00:23:40,185 --> 00:23:42,452
as well as any
assets that she has,
397
00:23:42,454 --> 00:23:44,755
financial institutions,
holdings, etcetera,
398
00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:49,460
be used to build
a new town library.
399
00:23:51,896 --> 00:23:55,633
Uh, I'm sorry.
What?
400
00:23:55,634 --> 00:23:57,634
She wants to build a library.
401
00:23:57,636 --> 00:23:58,969
Remember I told you
that the library burned down?
402
00:23:58,971 --> 00:24:00,671
I could show you
the blueprints, actually,
403
00:24:00,673 --> 00:24:01,939
if you give me a second, here,
404
00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:03,941
because they are
something to behold.
405
00:24:03,942 --> 00:24:05,843
- They spared no expense.
406
00:24:05,845 --> 00:24:07,811
Is this a joke?
407
00:24:07,814 --> 00:24:10,815
No, we're still
on dial-up. Yeah.
408
00:24:10,817 --> 00:24:13,083
Town council actually voted
down high-speed Internet,
409
00:24:13,085 --> 00:24:16,019
something about
ready access to pornography.
410
00:24:16,021 --> 00:24:19,088
No, no. I mean,
about the money.
411
00:24:19,090 --> 00:24:20,657
There's... there's nothing?
412
00:24:20,660 --> 00:24:22,026
No, there's not true.
413
00:24:22,028 --> 00:24:24,228
Uh, you, you can
live in the house
414
00:24:24,230 --> 00:24:26,497
for as long as
you should want to.
415
00:24:26,499 --> 00:24:27,698
Well, what would that be worth?
416
00:24:27,700 --> 00:24:30,934
It's not...
I mean, a lot, but...
417
00:24:30,936 --> 00:24:33,703
Again, if you should
choose to sell the house,
418
00:24:33,705 --> 00:24:35,005
I'd go right back
into the library.
419
00:24:35,007 --> 00:24:39,542
So, uh, she left
me nothing, then?
420
00:24:42,012 --> 00:24:43,713
Um, well,
421
00:24:43,715 --> 00:24:47,951
Heather actually made you
this casserole, so.
422
00:24:47,953 --> 00:24:49,953
There's three kinds of cheese,
423
00:24:49,955 --> 00:24:53,022
and there's broccolini
in there, I think.
424
00:24:53,025 --> 00:24:56,559
Would you, um,
mind giving me a minute, please?
425
00:24:56,561 --> 00:24:58,496
- Alone.
- Yeah. Yeah.
426
00:25:02,534 --> 00:25:05,736
...Oh, my god.
427
00:25:05,738 --> 00:25:06,738
Of course.
428
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:11,741
- Hello?
- Hey.
429
00:25:11,743 --> 00:25:13,978
I was just calling to check in,
see how you're doing.
430
00:25:13,980 --> 00:25:17,213
Well, you know, I'm pretty
terrible, actually.
431
00:25:17,215 --> 00:25:20,617
Oh, uh, okay.
432
00:25:20,619 --> 00:25:22,952
I don't have your book.
433
00:25:22,954 --> 00:25:25,221
- Next week is fine.
- No, I mean,
434
00:25:25,223 --> 00:25:28,526
I... I don't have your book,
I haven't written anything.
435
00:25:28,528 --> 00:25:30,560
I came back here hoping
I could use my inheritance
436
00:25:30,563 --> 00:25:32,630
to pay back the advance,
437
00:25:32,632 --> 00:25:34,865
but my mother didn't
leave me anything.
438
00:25:36,067 --> 00:25:37,601
Nothing.
439
00:25:39,570 --> 00:25:41,905
- We had plans.
- I know.
440
00:25:41,907 --> 00:25:44,173
All this time,
why didn't you say something?
441
00:25:44,175 --> 00:25:46,210
I don't know.
442
00:25:47,913 --> 00:25:49,980
- I fucked up.
- Look.
443
00:25:49,981 --> 00:25:51,548
I'm gonna make this easy for you
444
00:25:51,550 --> 00:25:53,284
because you're going
through a lot right now.
445
00:25:53,286 --> 00:25:56,987
It doesn't have to be the book
that you originally pitched me,
446
00:25:56,989 --> 00:25:59,155
but it has to be something.
447
00:25:59,157 --> 00:26:02,559
It has to be sexy
and honest and raw.
448
00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:03,993
Dig deep.
449
00:26:05,829 --> 00:26:08,832
You have 24 hours to send me
a pitch or return the money.
450
00:26:08,834 --> 00:26:11,835
And if neither of those happen?
451
00:26:11,836 --> 00:26:14,003
- You know any good lawyers?
- Nope,
452
00:26:14,006 --> 00:26:16,740
just a shitty
small-town one.
453
00:26:16,741 --> 00:26:18,942
And here we are.
454
00:26:22,881 --> 00:26:26,215
Hey, you weren't counting
on these royalties, were you?
455
00:26:26,218 --> 00:26:28,751
No, of course not.
456
00:26:28,753 --> 00:26:31,321
Yeah. Right.
Big city writer, right?
457
00:26:33,959 --> 00:26:36,859
It's nice to see you...
I mean,
458
00:26:36,862 --> 00:26:39,930
with lots of terrible
circumstances, but, uh,
459
00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:42,231
you never realize
how much you miss somebody,
460
00:26:42,233 --> 00:26:44,367
until...
461
00:26:44,369 --> 00:26:46,369
- Until what? -I don't know
where I was going with that.
462
00:26:46,372 --> 00:26:49,073
I just, uh...
463
00:26:49,075 --> 00:26:52,942
You know, I just didn't like
how things ended with us,
464
00:26:52,944 --> 00:26:54,811
obviously.
465
00:26:54,814 --> 00:26:57,146
You mean like how you
ran off, like a coward
466
00:26:57,148 --> 00:26:59,249
and you hid in the bathroom?
467
00:26:59,250 --> 00:27:02,885
Yes, that's... that's, uh...
That's... yeah.
468
00:27:02,887 --> 00:27:05,756
You know, technically,
469
00:27:05,758 --> 00:27:08,092
we never really ended things.
470
00:27:08,094 --> 00:27:10,259
Yeah.
471
00:27:10,261 --> 00:27:12,663
And we never broke up.
472
00:27:12,664 --> 00:27:15,231
I came back for you, Adam.
473
00:27:17,234 --> 00:27:20,371
Okay, I can't tell
if you're messing with me.
474
00:27:20,373 --> 00:27:22,205
- Can't you?
- I...
475
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:25,075
hey.
476
00:27:26,277 --> 00:27:29,779
...What're you doing here?
477
00:27:29,781 --> 00:27:32,982
Well, I could ask you
the same thing, sugar pie.
478
00:27:32,984 --> 00:27:35,219
Just, uh,
the estate meeting today...
479
00:27:35,221 --> 00:27:36,987
- Of course. -...Is what we're
doing, talking about it, yeah.
480
00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:39,323
What are you doing here?
481
00:27:39,325 --> 00:27:41,892
Well, I was hoping
we could have a little chat.
482
00:27:41,894 --> 00:27:42,925
Just us girls.
483
00:27:47,132 --> 00:27:49,767
So...
You and Adam.
484
00:27:49,769 --> 00:27:52,970
Oh, absolutely.
485
00:27:52,971 --> 00:27:54,704
It's funny.
486
00:27:54,707 --> 00:27:57,807
I just never really
pictured you two together.
487
00:27:57,809 --> 00:28:01,412
You know, he will make
a wonderful father.
488
00:28:03,815 --> 00:28:06,316
Well, sounds like you have
your future all mapped out.
489
00:28:06,317 --> 00:28:08,951
That's...
that's really nice.
490
00:28:08,953 --> 00:28:11,954
So, funny thing,
491
00:28:11,957 --> 00:28:15,092
I was re-reading
that one article of yours.
492
00:28:15,094 --> 00:28:16,960
Some very witty
493
00:28:16,961 --> 00:28:19,462
and wonderful turns of phrase,
by the way,
494
00:28:19,464 --> 00:28:22,066
- no wonder it caught a virus.
- Went viral?
495
00:28:22,067 --> 00:28:24,934
And I was thinking, you may
be right about a few things.
496
00:28:24,936 --> 00:28:27,471
Perhaps we are a little bit
sexually repressed.
497
00:28:27,472 --> 00:28:30,173
At any rate, I was thinking,
498
00:28:30,175 --> 00:28:31,875
you know we probably could use
499
00:28:31,876 --> 00:28:34,177
a little shake up
here in beaver's Ridge,
500
00:28:34,180 --> 00:28:37,748
and I think your orgy idea
is just the ticket.
501
00:28:37,750 --> 00:28:40,116
What... hang on,
my orgy-what-now?
502
00:28:40,118 --> 00:28:43,487
I'll organize,
and you can instruct.
503
00:28:43,489 --> 00:28:46,022
- Uh, no.
- At least think about it.
504
00:28:46,025 --> 00:28:47,891
It's really
the least you could do.
505
00:28:47,893 --> 00:28:51,427
Actually, the least I
can do is nothing.
506
00:28:51,430 --> 00:28:53,830
Well, now who's being
the small-minded one?
507
00:28:53,833 --> 00:28:57,134
You know, I thought you would jump
at the chance to watch all of us
508
00:28:57,135 --> 00:28:58,868
make fools of ourselves
509
00:28:58,871 --> 00:29:01,904
as we delve into
the perversions of your mind.
510
00:29:01,906 --> 00:29:03,773
You know,
probably give you fodder
511
00:29:03,776 --> 00:29:05,776
for a whole new series
of articles,
512
00:29:05,778 --> 00:29:07,277
"how to plan an orgy
in a small town."
513
00:29:07,278 --> 00:29:10,948
I mean, if you can come up
with a better title.
514
00:29:10,950 --> 00:29:13,083
Unless, of course,
you can't handle it.
515
00:29:15,519 --> 00:29:18,489
So, all I would have to do
is instruct?
516
00:29:20,191 --> 00:29:21,825
I mean, like,
I wouldn't actually have to...
517
00:29:21,826 --> 00:29:24,127
Fornicate with us?
Oh, god. No.
518
00:29:29,969 --> 00:29:32,035
Heather wants me to plan
a sex party.
519
00:29:34,038 --> 00:29:36,507
Oh, that's fucking hilarious.
520
00:29:36,509 --> 00:29:40,210
Mmm.
But, what's wrong?
521
00:29:41,546 --> 00:29:44,381
- I'm a virgin.
522
00:29:49,287 --> 00:29:51,020
So, just to clarify
523
00:29:51,022 --> 00:29:54,324
everything you know about sex
is bullshit?
524
00:29:54,326 --> 00:29:56,859
No, that... that's...
that's not true.
525
00:29:56,862 --> 00:29:59,363
I've... I've interviewed people,
526
00:29:59,365 --> 00:30:01,164
and I go to bars, and...
527
00:30:01,166 --> 00:30:05,201
I belong to a few sex clubs.
It's just no applied knowledge.
528
00:30:09,273 --> 00:30:11,909
Wait. Did your father
molest you?
529
00:30:11,911 --> 00:30:14,811
- Alice, Jesus Christ.
- Okay.
530
00:30:14,814 --> 00:30:16,279
Well, I'm sorry.
531
00:30:16,281 --> 00:30:18,448
I just have to ask
'cause that happens to people.
532
00:30:18,450 --> 00:30:21,417
And then they get all psychologically
mashed up, and then they...
533
00:30:21,420 --> 00:30:23,252
like their vagina's sealed shut,
534
00:30:23,255 --> 00:30:26,589
- so they can't even have sex.
- Okay, well, it's not that.
535
00:30:26,592 --> 00:30:30,527
- 'Cause you're terrified of sex?
- -No.
536
00:30:30,528 --> 00:30:35,398
I'm just waiting for someone
I can trust.
537
00:30:35,401 --> 00:30:37,934
I need a new drink 'cause I
just threw up in that one.
538
00:30:37,936 --> 00:30:39,569
Okay, fuck off.
539
00:30:41,205 --> 00:30:43,472
Will you come with me
to this thing, or not?
540
00:30:43,474 --> 00:30:45,209
Sweetie,
541
00:30:45,211 --> 00:30:48,211
you're my very best friend
in this whole stupid town.
542
00:30:48,213 --> 00:30:50,279
I will totally
come to your orgy,
543
00:30:50,281 --> 00:30:52,615
and I will totally
be there for you,
544
00:30:52,617 --> 00:30:56,220
and I will totally bang
all the hot guys that show up.
545
00:31:01,460 --> 00:31:04,027
That was fast.
What's the verdict?
546
00:31:04,028 --> 00:31:06,028
I'm digging deep.
547
00:31:24,182 --> 00:31:25,281
Ow!
548
00:31:38,328 --> 00:31:41,330
- You ready?
549
00:31:41,333 --> 00:31:42,932
I... I don't know.
550
00:31:42,934 --> 00:31:44,601
I feel like I'm gonna throw up.
551
00:31:44,603 --> 00:31:46,502
I mean... I mean,
can we do this?
552
00:31:46,505 --> 00:31:48,238
Is this us?
553
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:51,040
Are we...
are we orgy people?
554
00:31:51,042 --> 00:31:52,942
What we're not is quitters.
555
00:31:52,944 --> 00:31:55,945
Now, if we don't go downstairs
and open that door,
556
00:31:55,948 --> 00:31:58,414
then everything that Cassie
Cranston thinks about us
557
00:31:58,416 --> 00:31:59,950
and beaver's Ridge,
will be true.
558
00:31:59,951 --> 00:32:02,286
She'll think that we're cowards.
559
00:32:02,288 --> 00:32:04,086
Is that what you want her
to think about you?
560
00:32:06,223 --> 00:32:10,093
So, I know all of you
are sexually active,
561
00:32:10,095 --> 00:32:11,595
but what you
are about to embark on
562
00:32:11,596 --> 00:32:14,131
needs to be treated and seen
563
00:32:14,133 --> 00:32:17,067
with the respect of a sport.
564
00:32:17,068 --> 00:32:18,234
Okay?
565
00:32:18,237 --> 00:32:19,635
There will be surprises.
566
00:32:19,637 --> 00:32:21,137
The odd queef.
567
00:32:21,140 --> 00:32:24,240
Yeah, okay, yeah.
What is a "queef"?
568
00:32:24,242 --> 00:32:25,976
Oh, um,
569
00:32:25,978 --> 00:32:30,212
okay, it's like flatulence,
that comes out of your...
570
00:32:30,214 --> 00:32:31,981
...mm-hmm.
571
00:32:31,983 --> 00:32:36,153
Basically, you're hammering
large quantities of air
572
00:32:36,154 --> 00:32:38,422
into a tight, moist, space,
573
00:32:38,423 --> 00:32:40,057
so, sounds are gonna be made.
574
00:32:40,058 --> 00:32:42,159
Next, um, stamina.
575
00:32:42,161 --> 00:32:46,395
It's gonna go a lot faster than you think.
Pornography lies.
576
00:32:46,397 --> 00:32:48,565
No man can go properly
for 40 minutes
577
00:32:48,567 --> 00:32:50,567
without having an aneurism,
and at that point,
578
00:32:50,568 --> 00:32:52,736
any woman's vagina
is gonna be squealing
579
00:32:52,738 --> 00:32:54,270
like a worn-out brake pad
580
00:32:54,272 --> 00:32:57,441
at the end
of a high-speed chase.
581
00:32:57,442 --> 00:33:00,344
Are these colorful phrases
really necessary?
582
00:33:00,346 --> 00:33:02,378
Well, we need to know
what to expect.
583
00:33:02,381 --> 00:33:05,214
You need to stay hydrated.
You're gonna sweat.
584
00:33:05,217 --> 00:33:08,285
Which brings me
to my next topic.
585
00:33:08,287 --> 00:33:11,188
Sex stank.
586
00:33:11,190 --> 00:33:13,155
You're not gonna
notice your own.
587
00:33:13,157 --> 00:33:15,192
But you will notice
other peoples,
588
00:33:15,193 --> 00:33:17,426
and in a room full
of people sweating,
589
00:33:17,429 --> 00:33:21,030
and mashing their
genitals together,
590
00:33:21,032 --> 00:33:22,231
it's...
it's gonna create a...
591
00:33:22,233 --> 00:33:24,267
musk.
592
00:33:24,269 --> 00:33:27,003
How bad could it possibly be?
593
00:33:27,006 --> 00:33:29,038
Oh, bad.
Thick.
594
00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:31,540
It's gonna seep into everything.
595
00:33:31,542 --> 00:33:35,144
Thank god I got these lovely
plastic couch covers.
596
00:33:36,547 --> 00:33:38,382
- So, shall we just dive right in?
- Mm-hmm.
597
00:33:38,384 --> 00:33:40,317
- Well.
- Mm-hmm.
598
00:33:40,318 --> 00:33:44,054
I think this was supposed to
just be a preliminary chat.
599
00:33:44,056 --> 00:33:47,156
Did anyone here think we were
just gonna dive right in?
600
00:33:47,159 --> 00:33:50,493
Oh, okay. Wow.
601
00:34:21,693 --> 00:34:23,360
Okay, uh, guys,
602
00:34:23,362 --> 00:34:25,228
I... I think... think if
you're gonna do this,
603
00:34:25,230 --> 00:34:27,297
you just have to rip
the band-aid off,
604
00:34:27,298 --> 00:34:30,567
and, and... do it.
You know?
605
00:34:30,568 --> 00:34:32,068
Yeah.
606
00:34:32,070 --> 00:34:34,070
Heather,
do you have an egg timer?
607
00:34:34,072 --> 00:34:36,306
- Yes, I do. Yeah.
- That way, we can set the timer
608
00:34:36,307 --> 00:34:37,807
for five minutes
and give everybody
609
00:34:37,809 --> 00:34:41,344
a chance to switch it up,
if they want to.
610
00:34:41,346 --> 00:34:43,646
Um, I...
611
00:34:45,449 --> 00:34:48,518
All right, we're gonna
kick it old-school.
612
00:34:48,519 --> 00:34:50,719
Gentlemen,
put your keys in the bowl.
613
00:34:50,722 --> 00:34:53,590
Yeah. Oh, I walked here,
can I use fishing license?
614
00:34:53,592 --> 00:34:55,458
...How do you not have keys?
615
00:34:55,460 --> 00:34:57,561
Who locks their door?
616
00:35:02,233 --> 00:35:05,235
So, my choices are Adam,
or Bruce.
617
00:35:05,237 --> 00:35:07,570
Uh, can't have sex with Adam.
He's your husband.
618
00:35:07,572 --> 00:35:10,539
Right, I mean, why would
you want to sleep with me?
619
00:35:10,541 --> 00:35:12,876
- You're right.
- -I was kidding.
620
00:35:12,878 --> 00:35:15,744
Okay, Bruce.
Let's make the best of it.
621
00:35:15,746 --> 00:35:17,347
A little less enthusiasm,
please.
622
00:35:26,257 --> 00:35:27,757
How are we not
already having sex?
623
00:35:27,759 --> 00:35:29,626
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I... I just,
624
00:35:29,628 --> 00:35:31,293
you're just... you...
you're really beautiful.
625
00:35:31,295 --> 00:35:32,762
I'm sorry.
626
00:35:32,764 --> 00:35:34,297
It's okay.
You know what I'm gonna do?
627
00:35:34,298 --> 00:35:35,764
I'm gonna close my eyes,
628
00:35:35,766 --> 00:35:37,333
and I'm just gonna imagine
that you have leprosy.
629
00:35:37,335 --> 00:35:39,335
And then, otherwise,
this is gonna...
630
00:35:40,672 --> 00:35:42,672
- and that's not...
631
00:35:42,673 --> 00:35:44,641
You shouldn't tell people that.
632
00:35:53,717 --> 00:35:55,719
No... okay, uh,
just give me a second.
633
00:35:55,721 --> 00:35:57,420
Give me a second.
634
00:35:57,422 --> 00:36:00,757
Okay... okay, I'm good now.
I'm good.
635
00:36:00,759 --> 00:36:02,858
Nope. Nope.
636
00:36:02,860 --> 00:36:05,195
...That's my jawbone.
637
00:36:05,197 --> 00:36:07,329
- Yeah.
- Oh, so defiant.
638
00:36:07,331 --> 00:36:10,367
Slow it down, slow it way down.
639
00:36:10,369 --> 00:36:12,235
Slow it way down.
640
00:36:12,237 --> 00:36:15,505
...Uh... okay...
641
00:36:17,375 --> 00:36:19,876
Oh, my god, your lips.
642
00:36:19,878 --> 00:36:22,778
- My lips?
- They're so soft.
643
00:36:22,780 --> 00:36:24,648
What do you put on them?
644
00:36:24,650 --> 00:36:28,552
Uh, well, wine.
Wine, mostly.
645
00:36:28,554 --> 00:36:30,420
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...
646
00:36:30,422 --> 00:36:32,289
wait, wait, wait, wait.
No, no, no, no.
647
00:36:32,291 --> 00:36:34,291
- No, no, no, I can't.
648
00:36:34,293 --> 00:36:36,193
No, no, no, no, just hold it.
Hold on.
649
00:36:37,963 --> 00:36:39,963
Stop staring, it's rude.
650
00:36:39,965 --> 00:36:42,532
Where am I supposed to look?
651
00:36:42,534 --> 00:36:45,802
- Is this turning you on?
- It's not...
652
00:36:45,804 --> 00:36:47,469
not turning me on.
653
00:36:50,340 --> 00:36:53,876
Three, two, wa... wait.
No, I need... I need six...
654
00:36:53,878 --> 00:36:55,478
- No, that's it.
- Uh!
655
00:36:57,382 --> 00:36:58,748
Oh, come on. Come on, I was
just getting my groove on.
656
00:36:58,750 --> 00:37:00,983
- Time's up. Chester?
- Uh, yeah, I'm sorry.
657
00:37:00,985 --> 00:37:03,686
Excuse me, I'm... I'm gonna need a
few minutes, to, uh, pardon me.
658
00:37:03,688 --> 00:37:05,521
Replenish the fluids here
'cause...
659
00:37:05,523 --> 00:37:07,958
- Whoa, did you already?
- I just grazed the tip.
660
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:09,793
- I grazed it.
- Please. Please tell me
661
00:37:09,795 --> 00:37:11,795
- it was on the couch cover.
- I'm ready to party.
662
00:37:11,797 --> 00:37:13,329
- Jeez.
- Is that normal?
663
00:37:13,331 --> 00:37:14,998
God no.
664
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:16,766
- Hey, why don't we have
some make-up sex? -Oh, no.
665
00:37:16,768 --> 00:37:19,369
Did not all the energy in here
just get sucked out?
666
00:37:19,371 --> 00:37:21,771
- No, no, it didn't. Ow.
- Um, I think we...
667
00:37:21,773 --> 00:37:23,907
we ripped the band-aid off
a little too quickly here.
668
00:37:23,909 --> 00:37:25,608
We should have catered.
669
00:37:25,610 --> 00:37:27,710
A potluck would have been nice.
670
00:37:27,713 --> 00:37:30,347
Cassie, I feel like we're
gonna need some spare dicks,
671
00:37:30,349 --> 00:37:32,681
incase, you know, chappy
gets pre-maturely excited,
672
00:37:32,684 --> 00:37:34,516
- just keep the party going.
- I can hear you.
673
00:37:34,518 --> 00:37:35,918
- Agreed.
- You know what would be good?
674
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:37,621
Is maybe if we had
some other ladies as well?
675
00:37:37,623 --> 00:37:39,822
- Yeah.
- People from around town.
676
00:37:39,824 --> 00:37:41,358
Or Cassie,
if you wanted get involved.
677
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:42,858
Uh, no.
678
00:37:42,860 --> 00:37:44,561
I... I mean, I... I,
that wasn't...
679
00:37:44,563 --> 00:37:46,496
that wasn't part
of the... no.
680
00:37:46,498 --> 00:37:49,331
Um, okay, I think this little
experiment has just proven
681
00:37:49,333 --> 00:37:51,467
that we need to go
a little bit slower.
682
00:37:52,603 --> 00:37:54,871
So, let's get together again,
683
00:37:54,873 --> 00:37:58,407
but this time, ease into it,
focus on the basics.
684
00:37:58,409 --> 00:38:01,744
And if all goes well,
then, round two.
685
00:38:01,746 --> 00:38:03,445
Look, I don't want to sound like
a jerk here, okay?
686
00:38:03,447 --> 00:38:05,481
But what am I supposed to do
with this erection?
687
00:38:05,483 --> 00:38:07,349
- I mean... -Yeah, I saw a
papaya on the counter there
688
00:38:07,351 --> 00:38:08,751
you could probably
have your way with.
689
00:38:08,753 --> 00:38:11,655
No, it's too ripe.
It's not gonna work.
690
00:38:11,657 --> 00:38:12,989
Why do you know that?
691
00:38:18,862 --> 00:38:20,563
What about Michael Lobucks?
692
00:38:20,565 --> 00:38:21,797
He's got a terrible back issue.
693
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:23,432
He wouldn't the last
five minutes.
694
00:38:23,434 --> 00:38:26,869
- What about the mayor?
- Gus, Gus? Been there.
695
00:38:28,938 --> 00:38:31,541
- They can't be black.
- Oh, my god.
696
00:38:33,010 --> 00:38:35,478
Wait, Gus is black?
697
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:37,579
- Mrs. Reddick.
- Bruce, she's dead.
698
00:38:37,581 --> 00:38:40,684
Margo and Dave Anderson.
699
00:38:40,686 --> 00:38:42,452
No... no. Absolutely not.
700
00:38:42,454 --> 00:38:44,353
Have you seen
how he plays charades?
701
00:38:44,356 --> 00:38:46,088
I'm not getting into a sexual
situation with that man.
702
00:38:46,090 --> 00:38:48,090
So, there's a bunch of us
and we're doing this thing,
703
00:38:48,092 --> 00:38:50,092
- okay?
- Yeah.
704
00:38:50,094 --> 00:38:51,960
And, I don't know how to ask...
705
00:38:51,963 --> 00:38:54,963
We've been encouraged to invite
other people to the thing.
706
00:38:54,965 --> 00:38:56,833
- Right.
- What we're gonna be doing is...
707
00:38:56,835 --> 00:38:59,369
- What kind of thing is it?
- We're gonna... it's a,
708
00:38:59,371 --> 00:39:01,704
it's like a pri...
it's like a very...
709
00:39:01,706 --> 00:39:03,706
- It's a private fun thing.
- Yeah.
710
00:39:03,708 --> 00:39:06,710
- Yeah. -Like, we're all...
we are all together...
711
00:39:06,711 --> 00:39:08,711
- In the private thing...
- Yeah.
712
00:39:08,713 --> 00:39:11,981
...where you touch each other's
nipples and you fuck each other?
713
00:39:11,983 --> 00:39:14,463
- How do you know... what are you...
- stop trying to invite me
714
00:39:16,688 --> 00:39:19,688
how do I not know about the orgy?
Bruce is all over town.
715
00:39:19,690 --> 00:39:22,025
And you need to talk to that guy
because everybody in this town
716
00:39:22,027 --> 00:39:24,027
is gonna know
what you idiots are up to.
717
00:39:24,028 --> 00:39:26,896
Okay, okay, okay. So he did Bruce
invite you to it, already?
718
00:39:26,898 --> 00:39:28,597
- Yes, he did.
- He did, eh?
719
00:39:28,599 --> 00:39:30,099
Yes.
720
00:39:30,101 --> 00:39:33,068
- So you...
- No. No!
721
00:39:33,070 --> 00:39:35,070
I knew you were
gonna ask me that.
722
00:39:35,072 --> 00:39:37,606
- You disappoint me, Chester.
- What?
723
00:39:37,608 --> 00:39:39,909
You guys haven't rsvp'ed
to my party, yet.
724
00:39:39,911 --> 00:39:42,846
Wow, hey. Seth, man. How long
have you been standing there?
725
00:39:42,847 --> 00:39:46,014
Actually, funny
that you're here,
726
00:39:46,016 --> 00:39:48,016
because Chester has something
that he wants to ask you.
727
00:39:48,018 --> 00:39:50,018
- No... -there's this
thing that's happening.
728
00:39:50,021 --> 00:39:51,820
And, people are encouraged...
729
00:39:51,822 --> 00:39:54,423
- No, that's not...
- to invite other people...
730
00:39:54,425 --> 00:39:57,726
And he wanted to talk to you
about this thing.
731
00:39:57,728 --> 00:39:59,061
No. What? Coming.
732
00:39:59,063 --> 00:40:00,864
I gotta grab this...
this, delivery.
733
00:40:00,865 --> 00:40:02,731
- Oh, really? -I gotta
get this delivery here.
734
00:40:02,733 --> 00:40:04,534
- Interesting.
- -Isn't that your bathroom?
735
00:40:04,536 --> 00:40:05,735
- What? -Are you going
to the bathroom?
736
00:40:05,737 --> 00:40:07,704
- Hey, Seth.
- Hi, Pauline.
737
00:40:07,706 --> 00:40:10,039
How is your day going, buddy?
738
00:40:10,041 --> 00:40:12,509
- It's busy.
- Yeah.
739
00:40:15,512 --> 00:40:17,847
So, you want to have
an orgy in a town
740
00:40:17,849 --> 00:40:20,016
where you can dial
the wrong number,
741
00:40:20,018 --> 00:40:22,018
and still have a
ten-minute conversation?
742
00:40:22,019 --> 00:40:24,420
I'll owe you.
743
00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:26,054
I really need to work
the numbers in my favor,
744
00:40:26,056 --> 00:40:28,757
and you coming helps knock
some of the other guys out.
745
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:30,793
- How?
- You know...
746
00:40:32,730 --> 00:40:34,998
You smoke a pole man, you know.
747
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,000
- The pole?
- Yeah, you play the skin flute,
748
00:40:37,001 --> 00:40:38,768
you put penises in your mouth,
'cause you're gay.
749
00:40:38,769 --> 00:40:40,836
Not 'cause you're happy,
'cause you're a homosexual.
750
00:40:40,838 --> 00:40:42,204
Not that you couldn't be
a homosexual and be happy
751
00:40:42,206 --> 00:40:44,807
I'm sure you love it.
752
00:40:44,809 --> 00:40:46,842
So...
753
00:40:46,844 --> 00:40:49,978
You want me at this orgy
because I'm gay,
754
00:40:49,981 --> 00:40:53,849
and that will force one of the other
non-gay men to sleep with me,
755
00:40:53,851 --> 00:40:56,920
which will make more women
available for you?
756
00:40:56,922 --> 00:40:58,855
Look.
757
00:40:58,856 --> 00:41:01,690
I really need this, man.
758
00:41:01,693 --> 00:41:03,460
Allie's leaving me, it was...
759
00:41:03,461 --> 00:41:05,461
it was a huge hit to my ego.
760
00:41:06,764 --> 00:41:08,764
If I agree to this,
761
00:41:08,766 --> 00:41:10,800
you give me the full
commission on your house.
762
00:41:10,802 --> 00:41:12,969
That's a big commission, man.
763
00:41:12,971 --> 00:41:15,572
- Are you coming to my birthday party?
- Jesus Christ.
764
00:41:15,574 --> 00:41:17,840
My mom wanted an RSVP
like, yesterday.
765
00:41:17,842 --> 00:41:20,809
I don't know, man.
766
00:41:20,811 --> 00:41:24,047
You should totally
come to our party, Seth.
767
00:41:27,952 --> 00:41:30,018
I...
768
00:41:34,858 --> 00:41:37,827
- Alice.
- Fuck! Jesus, Seth.
769
00:41:37,829 --> 00:41:40,028
You haven't rsvp'ed
to my party, yet.
770
00:41:40,030 --> 00:41:42,898
- Haven't I?
- It's just my mom.
771
00:41:42,900 --> 00:41:45,802
She doesn't know how many cupcakes to make.
She's freaking out.
772
00:41:45,804 --> 00:41:47,903
Mm. Okay.
773
00:41:47,905 --> 00:41:49,938
Are you going to that party?
774
00:41:49,940 --> 00:41:52,007
- What party?
- I don't know.
775
00:41:52,010 --> 00:41:54,878
Bruce told me about
some party at Adam's.
776
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:56,211
- That's been cancelled.
- Are you sure?
777
00:41:56,213 --> 00:41:58,748
Because he just told me
about it like, just now.
778
00:41:58,750 --> 00:42:00,182
Well, Seth,
779
00:42:00,184 --> 00:42:02,085
I don't know,
because Bruce is an idiot.
780
00:42:02,086 --> 00:42:03,585
Yeah.
781
00:42:03,588 --> 00:42:04,920
Hey, um, that's good,
782
00:42:04,922 --> 00:42:06,922
because tomorrow's
my party anyways,
783
00:42:06,925 --> 00:42:08,690
so you can just tell
everybody to RSVP,
784
00:42:08,693 --> 00:42:10,025
and then they can come.
785
00:42:10,027 --> 00:42:12,528
Okay, I, uh,
786
00:42:12,530 --> 00:42:13,862
I'll try to remember.
787
00:42:13,864 --> 00:42:15,831
- Can I have a glass of water?
- I don't.
788
00:42:15,833 --> 00:42:17,699
- I don't have any water.
- I'm thirsty.
789
00:42:17,702 --> 00:42:19,635
- Okay. -Do you have a blanket?
I'm cold.
790
00:42:24,842 --> 00:42:26,842
So, I think the first thing
we need to do here
791
00:42:26,844 --> 00:42:28,710
is... is just
792
00:42:28,713 --> 00:42:31,780
acknowledge the awkwardness
of the situation.
793
00:42:31,782 --> 00:42:35,784
So, Chester, if maybe we
could... switch spots.
794
00:42:35,786 --> 00:42:37,119
So you could sit over here.
795
00:42:37,121 --> 00:42:38,855
- You wanna do a...
- yeah.
796
00:42:38,856 --> 00:42:40,289
Okay.
797
00:42:42,326 --> 00:42:45,061
- So, let's start with Heather.
- Hmm.
798
00:42:45,063 --> 00:42:46,295
How does it make you feel
799
00:42:46,297 --> 00:42:49,132
to see Adam with someone else?
800
00:42:51,335 --> 00:42:54,170
Oh, well... well, I...
801
00:42:55,706 --> 00:42:57,706
I think we can all
be adults here.
802
00:42:57,708 --> 00:42:58,875
Yeah?
803
00:42:58,876 --> 00:43:01,744
Okay, so,
this doesn't bother you,
804
00:43:01,746 --> 00:43:04,713
or make you upset
or uncomfortable at all?
805
00:43:06,750 --> 00:43:09,619
Mm-mm. No.
806
00:43:09,621 --> 00:43:11,621
No, I think that's, um,
807
00:43:11,623 --> 00:43:12,956
that's very neighborly of you,
808
00:43:12,958 --> 00:43:14,958
of... of both of you.
809
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:17,126
I'm very neighborly.
810
00:43:17,128 --> 00:43:20,762
- Is this... is this hard for you, Adam?
- Oh, it's hard for me.
811
00:43:20,764 --> 00:43:23,099
I mean, this...
it would... this...
812
00:43:23,101 --> 00:43:25,668
that would be hard for me.
That would be challenging.
813
00:43:25,670 --> 00:43:28,838
Yeah, what about this,
Heather? Huh?
814
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:34,077
This must be driving you
absolutely insane.
815
00:43:34,079 --> 00:43:35,777
Bruce, what are you doing?
816
00:43:35,780 --> 00:43:38,347
Oh, we're just easing
into it, big fella.
817
00:43:38,349 --> 00:43:40,182
You know, you are carrying
818
00:43:40,184 --> 00:43:43,652
- a lot of tension...
- Mm-hmm.
819
00:43:43,655 --> 00:43:45,989
...in your buster deltoids.
Can you feel that?
820
00:43:45,990 --> 00:43:47,990
You know what? I'd be a lot
easier if I got your shirt off.
821
00:43:47,992 --> 00:43:49,324
- That way we can really get at it.
- Um, I don't think...
822
00:43:49,327 --> 00:43:51,327
...I'll get it.
823
00:43:51,329 --> 00:43:53,329
- That'll be our additional guests.
- Oh.
824
00:43:53,331 --> 00:43:54,864
Yeah, okay, let's just go ahead.
825
00:43:54,865 --> 00:43:56,365
That's a weird way
to open a shirt, anyway.
826
00:43:56,367 --> 00:43:58,101
Let's just... let's just put
the kybosh on that,
827
00:43:58,103 --> 00:43:59,802
- and see who these guests are.
- Go away!
828
00:43:59,804 --> 00:44:01,269
Jesus fucking...
829
00:44:02,806 --> 00:44:05,675
Hi, guys.
Hey, come on in.
830
00:44:05,677 --> 00:44:07,876
- Thank you.
- Everybody,
831
00:44:07,878 --> 00:44:11,380
you remember Anna and Otis.
832
00:44:11,382 --> 00:44:13,248
- From racquetball, right?
- -Hi.
833
00:44:13,251 --> 00:44:15,385
Who the fuck invited you?
834
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:18,420
Honey, I don't know about this.
835
00:44:18,422 --> 00:44:20,956
Um, just a moment, everyone.
836
00:44:20,958 --> 00:44:23,326
Sure.
837
00:44:23,327 --> 00:44:26,329
Sweetie, we agreed to this.
838
00:44:26,331 --> 00:44:29,032
Everything we tried
hasn't been working.
839
00:44:29,034 --> 00:44:31,867
The long walks, the spicy food,
the primrose oil.
840
00:44:31,869 --> 00:44:33,869
I mean, the mid-wife thought that
maybe this would do the trick.
841
00:44:33,871 --> 00:44:35,672
- I know.
- We want to do it naturally.
842
00:44:35,673 --> 00:44:39,007
I know, I know,
but why can't it just be you?
843
00:44:39,010 --> 00:44:42,445
Because it's been me for the
last 48 hours and I'm exhausted.
844
00:44:45,181 --> 00:44:47,684
...Listen, you...
845
00:44:47,686 --> 00:44:50,786
you're peeing every ten minutes,
you're not sleeping.
846
00:44:50,789 --> 00:44:54,923
I love you so much, but this
baby needs to come out.
847
00:44:56,860 --> 00:44:58,226
- You're right.
- Yeah.
848
00:44:59,463 --> 00:45:01,764
- We need to do this.
- Right.
849
00:45:01,766 --> 00:45:03,865
I love you.
850
00:45:03,867 --> 00:45:06,202
- Okay.
- Are we ready?
851
00:45:06,204 --> 00:45:07,836
Yeah, I'm ready.
852
00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:14,342
Okay, so, who's gonna
fuck my wife first?
853
00:45:17,481 --> 00:45:19,181
Okay, uh, sexual positions...
854
00:45:19,184 --> 00:45:20,717
Oh, uh, I know
all three of them,
855
00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:22,818
but we only do
the doggy-style.
856
00:45:22,820 --> 00:45:24,853
- I'm sorry, all three of them?
- Mm-hmm.
857
00:45:24,856 --> 00:45:26,856
You guys don't look
at each other when you...
858
00:45:26,858 --> 00:45:28,157
- nope.
- Mm-mm.
859
00:45:28,159 --> 00:45:30,193
Why not?
860
00:45:30,195 --> 00:45:32,027
You know, I don't think
anyone wants to know that.
861
00:45:32,030 --> 00:45:33,262
- I wanna know.
- I'd love to know.
862
00:45:33,264 --> 00:45:34,797
It's private, it's between us.
863
00:45:34,798 --> 00:45:36,364
- He makes a face.
- Okay.
864
00:45:36,367 --> 00:45:37,733
- It's very unpleasant.
- It's involuntary.
865
00:45:37,735 --> 00:45:39,768
It's disturbing, actually.
866
00:45:39,771 --> 00:45:42,105
It's like a sneeze. Would you judge
a person for how they sneeze?
867
00:45:42,106 --> 00:45:45,842
Oh... okay,
let's not ruin the surprise.
868
00:45:45,844 --> 00:45:50,146
Um. We have some work to do.
Everybody grab a partner.
869
00:45:50,148 --> 00:45:51,847
Okay, I drew up some
sexual positions
870
00:45:51,849 --> 00:45:53,416
for us to try here.
871
00:45:53,418 --> 00:45:55,384
- What, really? Me?
- Get lost.
872
00:45:55,385 --> 00:45:57,085
Thank you.
I would... I would be honored.
873
00:45:57,088 --> 00:45:59,255
If we could just
skip the Lego instructions.
874
00:45:59,257 --> 00:46:01,257
I mean, clearly,
I've done this before.
875
00:46:01,259 --> 00:46:03,960
I really just need someone
to bang the baby out of me.
876
00:46:03,961 --> 00:46:07,295
Uh, also, if you could
ejaculate directly inside
877
00:46:07,297 --> 00:46:09,498
my wife's vagina,
that would be great.
878
00:46:09,501 --> 00:46:11,867
Uh, it actually contains
prosteligence
879
00:46:11,869 --> 00:46:16,005
which can stimulate the cervix
and can cause contractions.
880
00:46:16,007 --> 00:46:17,873
Yeah.
881
00:46:20,143 --> 00:46:22,311
Can you not put all
your weight on me?
882
00:46:22,313 --> 00:46:26,315
- It makes me feel like I gotta pee.
- You wanna pee on me?
883
00:46:26,317 --> 00:46:28,483
That is not even close
to what I said.
884
00:46:28,485 --> 00:46:32,487
Okay, Bruce, why don't you try
putting her leg over your shoulder?
885
00:46:32,489 --> 00:46:35,023
- Oh, oh, ooh.
- Yeah, yeah.
886
00:46:35,025 --> 00:46:36,525
It actually feels,
it does feel good.
887
00:46:36,527 --> 00:46:38,460
Honey, why have we never
tried this position?
888
00:46:38,463 --> 00:46:41,429
- I didn't know you liked that.
- Well, you could have asked.
889
00:46:41,431 --> 00:46:45,034
- I'm not a mind-reader, pumpkin.
- That's why you should ask.
890
00:46:45,036 --> 00:46:48,103
Okay, I... I don't think
this is the time for that, guys.
891
00:46:48,106 --> 00:46:49,806
Right. Sorry, honey.
We're being rude.
892
00:46:49,807 --> 00:46:51,873
Bruce is trying to penetrate me.
893
00:46:51,876 --> 00:46:55,043
I'm sorry, Bruce.
All right, give me what you got.
894
00:46:55,045 --> 00:46:58,114
- I got nothing, ow.
This is... -what?
895
00:46:58,115 --> 00:47:00,583
- This is fucked up, man.
- What?
896
00:47:00,585 --> 00:47:04,152
What the fuck is your problem?
897
00:47:04,155 --> 00:47:06,155
Two, three, okay.
I gotta get it right...
898
00:47:06,157 --> 00:47:09,291
- Yep, yep, okay.
- ...In here.
899
00:47:09,293 --> 00:47:11,827
- Uh-huh.
- Cassie?
900
00:47:11,829 --> 00:47:14,163
I don't know, I think one of us
has to be lesbian to do this.
901
00:47:14,164 --> 00:47:16,032
Well, no, not if...
see here,
902
00:47:16,034 --> 00:47:17,500
if you're more like this...
903
00:47:17,501 --> 00:47:19,034
- Then...
- Oh, I see.
904
00:47:19,036 --> 00:47:21,369
Yeah, no,
we both have to be lesbian.
905
00:47:21,371 --> 00:47:23,206
- Oh!
- So that's not gonna work.
906
00:47:25,309 --> 00:47:27,476
Oh.
907
00:47:27,478 --> 00:47:31,179
There's no need to be shy, Otis.
908
00:47:31,181 --> 00:47:34,583
I for one am very interested
in fornicating with you.
909
00:47:34,585 --> 00:47:37,119
Oh.
Well, uh, no, no, no.
910
00:47:37,121 --> 00:47:40,289
Uh, I'm just here for Anna,
incase the baby pops.
911
00:47:40,291 --> 00:47:43,291
Surely there's better ways
to pass the time.
912
00:47:43,293 --> 00:47:47,163
Oh, well, I'm gonna say thank
you, but no thank you.
913
00:47:47,164 --> 00:47:49,331
Okay, I'm gonna level
with you here,
914
00:47:49,333 --> 00:47:51,333
Anna told me that you got her
pregnant without even trying.
915
00:47:51,335 --> 00:47:53,536
I need your baby batter,
so be a neighbor.
916
00:47:53,538 --> 00:47:56,639
Well, I mean, my...
my semen isn't sugar, Heather.
917
00:47:56,641 --> 00:47:59,175
Besides, Anna and I have been
having sex all day, all right?
918
00:47:59,177 --> 00:48:00,509
I'm exhausted.
919
00:48:00,510 --> 00:48:02,043
Even if I could get it up,
920
00:48:02,045 --> 00:48:04,646
it's like a ghost
coughing down there.
921
00:48:08,985 --> 00:48:11,320
- Oh, my god.
- Did you just...?
922
00:48:11,322 --> 00:48:12,889
No, no. I'm good.
923
00:48:12,891 --> 00:48:15,224
Uh...
924
00:48:15,226 --> 00:48:17,559
Okay, I think we can...
925
00:48:17,561 --> 00:48:19,561
Start with the actual sex now.
926
00:48:19,563 --> 00:48:21,097
- I'm...
- Yeah?
927
00:48:21,099 --> 00:48:22,431
- Yeah, I think I'm ready.
- Okay.
928
00:48:22,432 --> 00:48:24,432
- Yeah.
- Whoa, hey, uh, I...
929
00:48:24,434 --> 00:48:27,436
- I felt the baby kick.
- Well, don't make it weird.
930
00:48:27,438 --> 00:48:29,304
She just wants to say hello.
931
00:48:29,306 --> 00:48:31,007
- Don't you baby? -Please
don't talk like a baby.
932
00:48:31,009 --> 00:48:32,909
She just wants
to meet everybody.
933
00:48:32,911 --> 00:48:35,244
Help her meet everybody, Adam.
934
00:48:35,246 --> 00:48:36,945
I don't know
that I'm qualified for that.
935
00:48:36,947 --> 00:48:39,282
Shh-shh.
Keep it sexy, okay?
936
00:48:39,284 --> 00:48:41,684
Uh, if you...
if you arch your back,
937
00:48:41,686 --> 00:48:45,054
I think it'll allow for at least
another inch of penetration.
938
00:48:45,056 --> 00:48:47,389
- Oh.
- Thank you, Cassie.
939
00:48:49,927 --> 00:48:51,427
Oh, my god.
Oh, jeez.
940
00:48:51,429 --> 00:48:54,396
Um, just for the record,
I am not inside you right now.
941
00:48:57,135 --> 00:48:58,634
- It's...
- Is this a good position?
942
00:48:58,635 --> 00:49:01,202
It's just the water stage.
943
00:49:01,204 --> 00:49:02,570
The baby's not
gonna come for hours.
944
00:49:02,572 --> 00:49:04,139
Water stage?
945
00:49:07,510 --> 00:49:10,512
Ooh, ah.
946
00:49:10,514 --> 00:49:12,047
Are... are you...
are you having a seizure?
947
00:49:12,050 --> 00:49:13,715
- What's...
- -It's coming!
948
00:49:13,717 --> 00:49:16,217
Oh, my god. Are you having
a contraction?
949
00:49:16,219 --> 00:49:18,554
Oh, there it is!
950
00:49:18,556 --> 00:49:20,088
- Okay, it's happening.
- It's fine, it's fine.
951
00:49:20,090 --> 00:49:21,389
- It's happening?
- It's happening.
952
00:49:21,391 --> 00:49:23,525
- We got a while yet.
- No, no, no.
953
00:49:23,527 --> 00:49:25,961
If we could get it wrapped up as soon
as possible. If that's possible.
954
00:49:25,963 --> 00:49:27,996
- Let's get her up.
- This feels so fucking good.
955
00:49:27,998 --> 00:49:30,032
Why don't you ever
feel this fucking good?
956
00:49:30,034 --> 00:49:32,534
She doesn't mean that, guys.
That's the baby talking.
957
00:49:32,536 --> 00:49:35,070
Uh, can we get this guy off?
This is my wife, here.
958
00:49:35,072 --> 00:49:37,505
Just a little bit of help guys,
would be really...
959
00:49:41,045 --> 00:49:42,311
- Screamer.
960
00:49:42,313 --> 00:49:43,545
Okay, there it is.
961
00:49:43,547 --> 00:49:45,547
- There we go.
- Never throw those out.
962
00:49:45,550 --> 00:49:47,650
Uh, thank you so much, guys,
thank you so much.
963
00:49:47,652 --> 00:49:50,085
See, what did I tell you
about the plastic couch covers?
964
00:49:50,088 --> 00:49:51,586
What a great night guys.
Thank you.
965
00:49:55,726 --> 00:49:57,659
Can I ask a silly question?
966
00:50:00,130 --> 00:50:02,465
How come none of you
have realized
967
00:50:02,467 --> 00:50:03,766
what a terrible idea this is?
968
00:50:03,768 --> 00:50:06,268
Hmm?
969
00:50:06,269 --> 00:50:11,139
I mean, for one night
of awkward pleasure,
970
00:50:11,141 --> 00:50:14,210
you are gonna jeopardize
friendships,
971
00:50:14,211 --> 00:50:17,780
marriages even...
972
00:50:17,782 --> 00:50:22,050
Look around, these are your
neighbors, your friends,
973
00:50:22,052 --> 00:50:25,554
I just want to make sure
that you've thought about this.
974
00:50:25,556 --> 00:50:27,757
Really thought about it.
975
00:50:27,759 --> 00:50:31,092
This is a small town.
People are gonna find out.
976
00:50:31,094 --> 00:50:33,429
One of you will talk,
maybe not right away,
977
00:50:33,431 --> 00:50:36,097
but eventually.
978
00:50:36,099 --> 00:50:38,601
I read Cassie's article,
979
00:50:38,603 --> 00:50:41,302
and the reason why it upset at
everybody is 'cause she's right.
980
00:50:41,304 --> 00:50:43,438
You are not the type of people
981
00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:45,440
to do this sort of thing.
982
00:50:47,143 --> 00:50:48,577
You're not adventurous.
983
00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:52,648
Who are you trying to fool?
984
00:51:09,532 --> 00:51:12,735
Half a dozen chimps
are locked in a room.
985
00:51:12,737 --> 00:51:14,637
And in the center of the room,
986
00:51:14,639 --> 00:51:17,606
there's a ladder on top of which
987
00:51:17,608 --> 00:51:20,076
a banana dangles
from the ceiling.
988
00:51:20,077 --> 00:51:22,710
So one the chimps decides
to go for the banana.
989
00:51:22,713 --> 00:51:25,614
But before he can even
touch the ladder,
990
00:51:25,615 --> 00:51:29,085
they're all sprayed
with ice cold water.
991
00:51:29,086 --> 00:51:32,188
- I'm so confused right now.
- Shut up.
992
00:51:32,190 --> 00:51:34,690
So, after a while,
they figure out the connection,
993
00:51:34,692 --> 00:51:36,358
between the ladder
and the water,
994
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:39,260
and they don't go
for the banana anymore.
995
00:51:40,864 --> 00:51:45,434
So then one of the chimps
is replaced by a new chimp.
996
00:51:45,436 --> 00:51:48,704
And he decides
to go for the banana.
997
00:51:48,706 --> 00:51:50,306
Before he can even
touch the ladder,
998
00:51:50,307 --> 00:51:53,309
they... they attack him.
999
00:51:53,311 --> 00:51:55,643
He goes for it again
and they literally,
1000
00:51:55,646 --> 00:51:58,813
they beat the message into him,
1001
00:51:58,815 --> 00:52:01,250
do not touch the fucking ladder.
1002
00:52:04,286 --> 00:52:07,690
Eventually, all the chimps are
replaced by an entirely new group.
1003
00:52:09,226 --> 00:52:10,693
They don't know about the water.
1004
00:52:10,695 --> 00:52:13,528
They... they don't even know
it exists,
1005
00:52:13,530 --> 00:52:18,266
but anytime any of them
go for that banana,
1006
00:52:18,268 --> 00:52:20,603
they attack them.
1007
00:52:20,605 --> 00:52:23,838
And they have no idea why.
1008
00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:25,840
All they know is,
1009
00:52:25,842 --> 00:52:28,911
this is what happens
when you go after
1010
00:52:28,913 --> 00:52:31,347
the thing you want the most.
1011
00:52:32,916 --> 00:52:37,786
Something someone else
says you can't have
1012
00:52:37,788 --> 00:52:39,688
and they never question it,
1013
00:52:39,690 --> 00:52:41,824
it's just what they do.
1014
00:52:41,826 --> 00:52:43,826
So my question is,
1015
00:52:43,827 --> 00:52:48,164
are you gonna go
after your banana?
1016
00:52:48,166 --> 00:52:51,567
Or are you gonna let all the
other chimps knock you down?
1017
00:52:53,335 --> 00:52:55,403
Did that make anyone else
a little bit hard?
1018
00:52:55,405 --> 00:52:57,840
Bruce, there are ladies present.
1019
00:52:57,842 --> 00:53:01,476
I'm sorry, did it make
anyone hard, or wet?
1020
00:53:01,478 --> 00:53:03,378
Look, y'all want this.
1021
00:53:05,849 --> 00:53:07,349
You need this.
1022
00:53:10,452 --> 00:53:13,255
And if you're in,
then I'm in, too.
1023
00:53:14,557 --> 00:53:15,925
All the way.
1024
00:53:20,664 --> 00:53:24,266
- I'd like to go after my banana.
- Me, too.
1025
00:53:24,268 --> 00:53:26,302
Can I put the whole thing
in my mouth?
1026
00:53:27,336 --> 00:53:30,905
Saturday.
My place.
1027
00:53:43,954 --> 00:53:45,788
Maybe they're late.
1028
00:53:49,858 --> 00:53:53,394
Why don't you come on
the cruise with me?
1029
00:53:53,396 --> 00:53:55,664
It'd be good for you
to get out of town.
1030
00:53:55,666 --> 00:53:58,800
You don't need these people.
1031
00:53:58,802 --> 00:54:00,902
They've never accepted you.
1032
00:54:19,356 --> 00:54:21,356
Well.
1033
00:54:21,358 --> 00:54:23,324
Well, happy birthday, Seth.
1034
00:54:34,637 --> 00:54:35,771
Okay.
1035
00:54:39,043 --> 00:54:42,710
Okay.
1036
00:54:42,713 --> 00:54:46,347
Okay. Pace yourself,
Chester, buddy.
1037
00:54:46,349 --> 00:54:47,849
Pace.
1038
00:54:47,851 --> 00:54:50,052
Hello.
You're very pretty.
1039
00:54:50,054 --> 00:54:51,719
I'm Chester.
1040
00:54:51,722 --> 00:54:54,889
Oh, slow down, slow down.
1041
00:54:56,927 --> 00:55:01,429
Yeah, yeah,
here comes the good stuff.
1042
00:55:02,900 --> 00:55:05,867
Oh, oh, god dammit, why?
1043
00:55:05,869 --> 00:55:07,769
Why?
1044
00:55:07,771 --> 00:55:09,637
...Dude.
1045
00:55:09,639 --> 00:55:11,072
Ugh!
1046
00:55:11,074 --> 00:55:13,342
Everyone can fucking see you!
1047
00:55:13,344 --> 00:55:14,677
You know that
that chick has a dick, right?
1048
00:55:14,679 --> 00:55:17,313
- Yeah, thanks.
- I support masturbation.
1049
00:55:17,315 --> 00:55:19,315
...Whew!
1050
00:55:21,485 --> 00:55:24,820
Hey, you're not...
you're not gonna mention this...
1051
00:55:24,822 --> 00:55:26,355
...to anyone are you?
1052
00:55:26,356 --> 00:55:28,891
'Cause I'm...
I'm a little just,
1053
00:55:28,893 --> 00:55:30,893
you know, embarrassed about it.
1054
00:55:30,894 --> 00:55:34,396
I would never do that.
1055
00:55:34,398 --> 00:55:36,731
No, I'm serious.
Why would I go and tell anybody
1056
00:55:36,733 --> 00:55:38,599
that's private... it's personal,
that I walked in on you.
1057
00:55:38,601 --> 00:55:40,101
- It's totally fine.
- Thank you.
1058
00:55:40,103 --> 00:55:42,103
Don't be embarrassed.
I've done weird shit.
1059
00:55:42,106 --> 00:55:44,639
Like eat half a pizza.
1060
00:55:47,110 --> 00:55:51,380
Why don't you have
any friends, seriously?
1061
00:55:51,382 --> 00:55:54,382
Hum. Um...
1062
00:55:54,385 --> 00:55:56,385
Ow, that kinda...
1063
00:55:56,387 --> 00:55:57,719
no.
1064
00:55:57,722 --> 00:55:59,420
I mean, what the fuck are you?
1065
00:55:59,422 --> 00:56:00,922
No, I didn't mean it like that,
I meant like,
1066
00:56:00,925 --> 00:56:02,791
why don't you have, like,
friends, other than me?
1067
00:56:02,793 --> 00:56:04,659
Like, friends your...
your own age, 'cause you're...
1068
00:56:04,661 --> 00:56:06,661
you're so, I mean, you...
1069
00:56:06,664 --> 00:56:08,664
I don't know.
People are idiots.
1070
00:56:08,666 --> 00:56:10,766
- Generally. You're an idiot.
- Yeah, I am an idiot.
1071
00:56:10,768 --> 00:56:12,101
Every... you're just an
idiot, at all times.
1072
00:56:12,103 --> 00:56:14,068
It's true.
1073
00:56:14,070 --> 00:56:16,771
I mean, you're only friends with
me because you wanna bang me.
1074
00:56:16,773 --> 00:56:18,106
Oh, fuck, holy shit.
1075
00:56:18,108 --> 00:56:20,641
It was a dream.
It was a dream.
1076
00:56:20,643 --> 00:56:23,644
I had a sex dream
about my aunt Merga, once. Okay?
1077
00:56:23,646 --> 00:56:25,547
You shouldn't tell people that.
1078
00:56:25,548 --> 00:56:27,882
No, I'm making a...
I'm trying to make a point here.
1079
00:56:27,885 --> 00:56:31,052
All right, that it doesn't
mean, it's nothing.
1080
00:56:31,054 --> 00:56:34,590
It's just a dream.
Okay?
1081
00:56:34,592 --> 00:56:36,592
I mean, what's so wrong
about me, anyway?
1082
00:56:36,594 --> 00:56:38,059
What?
1083
00:56:38,061 --> 00:56:39,827
I mean, why wouldn't you
want to bang me?
1084
00:56:39,829 --> 00:56:41,530
You keep saying,
"no I would never do that,"
1085
00:56:41,532 --> 00:56:43,831
but I mean, do I, like, do I,
am I repulsive?
1086
00:56:43,833 --> 00:56:46,534
Why would you wanna have sex with me?
I mean, does that...
1087
00:56:46,536 --> 00:56:48,536
No, no, that's not what I
said, I didn't say that.
1088
00:56:48,539 --> 00:56:49,905
But you didn't not
say that, right?
1089
00:56:49,907 --> 00:56:51,773
- Okay.
- You did not say that.
1090
00:56:51,775 --> 00:56:54,076
Wow. You should be
a detective.
1091
00:56:54,077 --> 00:56:55,777
- Really?
- Yeah.
1092
00:56:55,780 --> 00:56:57,880
- No. No.
- Why, you think I should
1093
00:56:57,882 --> 00:57:01,048
go get a badge or something?
1094
00:57:01,050 --> 00:57:03,818
I'll get you a detective badge.
1095
00:57:03,820 --> 00:57:06,155
- Thanks.
- Hmm.
1096
00:57:06,157 --> 00:57:07,989
- What?
1097
00:57:14,197 --> 00:57:17,666
Whoa, what...
What're you doing?
1098
00:57:17,668 --> 00:57:19,701
Oh, god.
1099
00:57:19,702 --> 00:57:22,503
What're you...?
1100
00:57:22,505 --> 00:57:24,172
What're you doing right now?
1101
00:57:24,175 --> 00:57:25,940
I'm bored.
1102
00:57:37,586 --> 00:57:38,987
What's happening right now?
1103
00:57:43,092 --> 00:57:47,695
Well, um,
nothing is happening, Chester.
1104
00:57:49,932 --> 00:57:51,532
Oh, shit.
1105
00:57:51,534 --> 00:57:53,501
I'm sorry.
1106
00:57:53,503 --> 00:57:55,570
I just made it...
I made it really weird here.
1107
00:57:55,572 --> 00:57:58,639
I'm... I...
I feel really stupid.
1108
00:57:58,641 --> 00:58:00,842
- Oh, you feel really stupid?
- Yeah, I'm sorry.
1109
00:58:00,844 --> 00:58:03,045
That's how you feel right now?
1110
00:58:03,047 --> 00:58:04,480
Fuck you, Chester.
1111
00:58:34,811 --> 00:58:39,514
Hey, it's Polly.
1112
00:58:39,516 --> 00:58:41,650
I'm coming to your orgy.
1113
00:58:50,025 --> 00:58:51,827
Happy orgy day!
1114
00:58:51,829 --> 00:58:54,963
- Shh.
- Right?
1115
00:58:54,965 --> 00:58:58,567
- And Chester...
- Yes.
1116
00:58:58,568 --> 00:59:00,001
Hey, everyone. Hi.
1117
00:59:02,070 --> 00:59:04,273
Polly, you look,
you look really nice.
1118
00:59:04,275 --> 00:59:07,842
Oh, do I?
1119
00:59:07,844 --> 00:59:09,244
Well, let's get
started, shall we?
1120
00:59:09,246 --> 00:59:10,679
I call Cassie.
1121
00:59:10,681 --> 00:59:12,713
What? No.
1122
00:59:12,715 --> 00:59:14,215
Oh, come on, I'm really
in the mood to have sex
1123
00:59:14,217 --> 00:59:15,684
with someone I've never
been with before.
1124
00:59:15,686 --> 00:59:18,019
She said "no," you know?
1125
00:59:18,021 --> 00:59:20,121
Why don't you just take another
shot at Heather, there?
1126
00:59:20,123 --> 00:59:22,324
Hmm?
1127
00:59:22,326 --> 00:59:25,226
- What?
1128
00:59:25,228 --> 00:59:27,829
In high school I put his penis
in my mouth a little.
1129
00:59:27,831 --> 00:59:31,132
- Oh, jeez. -She didn't say
I have a small penis.
1130
00:59:31,135 --> 00:59:33,135
- No, she kind of did.
- Okay.
1131
00:59:33,137 --> 00:59:35,170
So those two are out,
and I'm not really into Polly?
1132
00:59:35,172 --> 00:59:36,804
What the shit?
1133
00:59:36,806 --> 00:59:38,806
Do you want to have sex with me?
1134
00:59:38,809 --> 00:59:40,208
I don't feel comfortable
answering that question.
1135
00:59:40,210 --> 00:59:42,077
Thank you very much.
So Cassie and I then.
1136
00:59:42,079 --> 00:59:46,614
Well, I... I wanna have sex,
uh, with Spencer.
1137
00:59:46,617 --> 00:59:48,951
Are you serious?
1138
00:59:48,952 --> 00:59:51,052
Spencer's gay.
1139
00:59:51,054 --> 00:59:52,820
You're the only one in town
who actually thinks that.
1140
00:59:52,822 --> 00:59:55,690
Oh, seriously?
Really?
1141
00:59:55,693 --> 00:59:57,693
What about that fruity
real estate job you have?
1142
00:59:57,695 --> 00:59:59,161
What about your hair?
The clothes?
1143
00:59:59,163 --> 01:00:02,030
- That awesome Cologne?
- I don't wear Cologne.
1144
01:00:02,032 --> 01:00:03,197
That's just me.
1145
01:00:03,199 --> 01:00:06,068
Okay.
1146
01:00:06,070 --> 01:00:07,768
Cassie wants to have sex
with Spencer.
1147
01:00:07,771 --> 01:00:09,371
Who else wants to have sex
with Spencer?
1148
01:00:09,373 --> 01:00:12,340
Oh, for fucks sake.
Who are you sleeping with then?
1149
01:00:12,342 --> 01:00:15,043
- Adam.
- No, I don't think so.
1150
01:00:15,045 --> 01:00:16,378
Oh, guess what, Heather?
1151
01:00:16,380 --> 01:00:17,913
Cock-blocking isn't
actually on the list
1152
01:00:17,914 --> 01:00:20,047
of things to do in an orgy.
1153
01:00:20,050 --> 01:00:22,650
So, why don't you let Adam decide
who he'd like to stick it in.
1154
01:00:22,652 --> 01:00:24,786
Oh, okay. Um...
1155
01:00:24,788 --> 01:00:28,657
You know, you're all
wonderful people,
1156
01:00:28,659 --> 01:00:30,659
and um...
1157
01:00:30,661 --> 01:00:33,996
- Polly would be...
- awkward.
1158
01:00:33,998 --> 01:00:36,697
- And weird.
- Okay.
1159
01:00:36,699 --> 01:00:39,701
You know, Alice, I think my
main concern with you is that
1160
01:00:39,702 --> 01:00:42,304
I wouldn't be able to meet
your level of experience.
1161
01:00:42,306 --> 01:00:45,740
Go fuck yourself.
1162
01:00:45,742 --> 01:00:50,878
So I guess I choose Cassie.
1163
01:00:50,880 --> 01:00:52,414
Too late, I already
called dibs on her.
1164
01:00:52,416 --> 01:00:55,282
Okay, stop it. I'm...
I'm not participating
1165
01:00:55,284 --> 01:00:57,119
in anything where
dibs take precedence.
1166
01:00:57,121 --> 01:00:59,655
Have sex with me, please.
1167
01:00:59,657 --> 01:01:02,958
- I said no. -God, you are
such a hypocrite, Cassie.
1168
01:01:02,960 --> 01:01:05,260
You, you, you, you run off
with your vagina
1169
01:01:05,262 --> 01:01:07,028
and your... your...
Sexy article things,
1170
01:01:07,030 --> 01:01:08,929
and then you have an issue
sleeping with some
1171
01:01:08,931 --> 01:01:11,333
mildly-annoying person that
you've known your entire life?
1172
01:01:11,335 --> 01:01:14,068
No, you do not get to be a
prude, and the town slut,
1173
01:01:14,070 --> 01:01:16,371
you're having sex with Bruce,
and that's that.
1174
01:01:16,373 --> 01:01:19,875
Jesus fucking Christ, Heather, she's
not a slut, she's just a virgin.
1175
01:01:24,112 --> 01:01:27,416
Yeah...
1176
01:01:27,418 --> 01:01:29,751
Cassie's a virgin.
1177
01:01:29,753 --> 01:01:30,918
That would be rich.
1178
01:01:33,088 --> 01:01:37,324
But I everything that I know
about sex is because of...
1179
01:01:37,327 --> 01:01:39,894
- Your column.
- Yeah, me too.
1180
01:01:39,896 --> 01:01:43,798
This makes a lot of sense.
1181
01:01:43,800 --> 01:01:46,333
I'd like you all to leave now.
1182
01:01:46,335 --> 01:01:49,737
Okay. Okay, I'm sure this is
extremely embarrassing for you,
1183
01:01:49,739 --> 01:01:53,974
but we've all been looking forward
to this, so I think that we should...
1184
01:01:53,976 --> 01:01:55,976
- get out. -We're having
our carpets cleaned,
1185
01:01:55,978 --> 01:01:57,978
- there's nowhere else to go.
- Get out!
1186
01:01:57,981 --> 01:02:01,182
- It's her house, you guys, just...
- shut up, Alice.
1187
01:02:01,184 --> 01:02:02,317
You get the fuck out first.
1188
01:02:17,833 --> 01:02:20,202
Alice. Hey, Alice.
Alice, excuse me.
1189
01:02:20,204 --> 01:02:21,737
- Hey, hey, hey...
- don't.
1190
01:02:21,739 --> 01:02:23,070
What the fuck
do you want, Bruce?
1191
01:02:23,072 --> 01:02:25,039
Hey, what the fuck
were you doing in there?
1192
01:02:25,041 --> 01:02:26,407
You really ruined that for me in there.
What're you doing?
1193
01:02:26,409 --> 01:02:28,409
I... I could not
give a Baker's fuck.
1194
01:02:28,411 --> 01:02:30,945
A Baker's fuck? What, 13 fucks...
what are you talking about?
1195
01:02:30,947 --> 01:02:35,951
- That's 13 fucks... -Do you have
any idea how much I needed this?
1196
01:02:35,952 --> 01:02:38,954
First, you embarrass
me by leaving me,
1197
01:02:38,956 --> 01:02:40,989
and then you rub it
in my fucking face
1198
01:02:40,990 --> 01:02:42,858
by getting it on with
every single guy in town.
1199
01:02:42,860 --> 01:02:44,358
You know, you...
1200
01:02:44,360 --> 01:02:46,061
- you're embarrassing.
- I'm embarrassing?
1201
01:02:46,063 --> 01:02:48,230
- Yeah.
- You're pathetic.
1202
01:02:48,231 --> 01:02:49,998
- You need to sign our divorce papers.
- You want pathetic?
1203
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:53,434
No. Not until
you tell me why.
1204
01:02:53,436 --> 01:02:55,137
Really? Do you
really not know why?
1205
01:02:55,139 --> 01:02:56,471
Because, if I recall,
1206
01:02:56,472 --> 01:02:58,172
you didn't touch me
for like, a year.
1207
01:02:58,175 --> 01:03:00,876
And you're acting
like a victim, in...
1208
01:03:00,878 --> 01:03:03,844
- oh, what? 'Cause you're so innocent?
- I had some sex.
1209
01:03:03,847 --> 01:03:06,014
- Some?
- I may have over-compensated.
1210
01:03:06,016 --> 01:03:08,983
- Oh, yeah, you think?
- You broke my heart!
1211
01:03:11,086 --> 01:03:12,820
My fucking heart!
1212
01:03:14,257 --> 01:03:15,389
Asshole.
1213
01:03:16,925 --> 01:03:18,927
Sign the fucking papers.
1214
01:03:18,929 --> 01:03:20,561
It's the least you could do.
1215
01:03:26,568 --> 01:03:29,570
So, I have been thinking
about the orgy...
1216
01:03:29,572 --> 01:03:30,938
The orgy's cancelled.
1217
01:03:30,940 --> 01:03:33,041
No, I'm Heather Mitchell,
1218
01:03:33,043 --> 01:03:35,242
- no one cancels a social event on me.
- Heather.
1219
01:03:35,244 --> 01:03:39,146
Honey, please, will you just forget
about the orgy and come to bed.
1220
01:03:39,148 --> 01:03:42,349
Adam, I am trying to figure out
a way to keep this orgy going.
1221
01:03:42,351 --> 01:03:44,853
The last thing I have time for
right now is to have sex with you.
1222
01:03:44,855 --> 01:03:46,153
Why is it so important to you?
1223
01:03:46,155 --> 01:03:48,322
To us, it's important to us.
1224
01:03:48,324 --> 01:03:50,224
No, it isn't.
1225
01:03:50,226 --> 01:03:52,226
I thought we were trying
to have a baby, that's the goal.
1226
01:03:52,228 --> 01:03:54,429
And that is exactly why
the orgy is so important.
1227
01:03:54,431 --> 01:03:56,463
What are you talking about?
1228
01:04:00,135 --> 01:04:01,202
Okay...
1229
01:04:03,005 --> 01:04:06,106
Look, I, um...
1230
01:04:06,108 --> 01:04:07,842
What?
1231
01:04:07,844 --> 01:04:10,846
I don't want you to take
this the wrong way, but...
1232
01:04:10,847 --> 01:04:12,447
I had your sperm tested.
1233
01:04:14,916 --> 01:04:17,251
It's just we've been
trying for a really long time,
1234
01:04:17,253 --> 01:04:19,454
and I got tested first,
and everything was fine,
1235
01:04:19,456 --> 01:04:22,456
so, it was the next step.
1236
01:04:24,159 --> 01:04:25,327
What... what do you mean?
1237
01:04:25,329 --> 01:04:26,494
I didn't give you any sperm.
1238
01:04:26,496 --> 01:04:27,862
How'd you get my sperm?
1239
01:04:29,498 --> 01:04:34,501
Well, when you make deposits,
I make withdrawls.
1240
01:04:37,940 --> 01:04:39,106
You...
1241
01:04:42,478 --> 01:04:43,911
Oh, my god.
1242
01:04:43,914 --> 01:04:47,215
Uh... uh...
1243
01:04:47,217 --> 01:04:49,416
Okay.
1244
01:04:51,052 --> 01:04:52,519
And...
1245
01:04:52,521 --> 01:04:54,322
They said that you have
the worst sperm
1246
01:04:54,324 --> 01:04:56,056
that they've ever seen.
1247
01:04:56,059 --> 01:04:57,425
We can get a second opinion.
1248
01:04:57,427 --> 01:04:59,027
I got five.
1249
01:05:03,199 --> 01:05:06,668
So you were using this orgy
1250
01:05:06,670 --> 01:05:08,903
as some sort of sperm bank?
1251
01:05:08,905 --> 01:05:10,505
That wasn't the original plan.
1252
01:05:10,507 --> 01:05:12,574
You wanted to get pregnant,
and then...
1253
01:05:12,576 --> 01:05:15,143
Trick me into raising
the child with you
1254
01:05:15,144 --> 01:05:16,677
with complete disregard
for the fact
1255
01:05:16,679 --> 01:05:18,112
the kid would look
nothing like me.
1256
01:05:18,114 --> 01:05:19,981
I have to be a mother,
Adam. Okay?
1257
01:05:19,983 --> 01:05:21,115
I mean, I wouldn't
have married you if I...
1258
01:05:21,117 --> 01:05:22,951
please, go on.
1259
01:05:22,952 --> 01:05:27,121
Honey, I'm just...
I'm being emotional.
1260
01:05:27,123 --> 01:05:31,592
Oh, I would hate for Heather
Mitchell to ever have an emotion.
1261
01:05:31,594 --> 01:05:34,094
I had to learn to love you.
1262
01:05:37,333 --> 01:05:40,001
- That came out wrong.
- Did it?
1263
01:05:44,639 --> 01:05:47,375
- Okay.
1264
01:06:32,288 --> 01:06:34,356
You kept the tape?
1265
01:06:34,358 --> 01:06:39,094
Uh, just getting rid of the rest
of my old junk before I leave.
1266
01:06:40,695 --> 01:06:42,697
So you're, you're going?
1267
01:06:42,699 --> 01:06:45,400
Well, the whole town found out
my deepest, darkest, secret.
1268
01:06:45,402 --> 01:06:48,268
So, yeah, I'm gonna go.
1269
01:06:48,271 --> 01:06:50,438
Everybody has bad days
apparently.
1270
01:06:50,440 --> 01:06:52,773
And mine's gonna get even worse
until I leave this shit-hole.
1271
01:06:52,775 --> 01:06:54,608
So, if you'll excuse me.
1272
01:06:54,610 --> 01:06:57,112
What if you don't leave?
1273
01:06:57,114 --> 01:07:00,447
Well, then I'll have to stay.
1274
01:07:00,449 --> 01:07:03,784
And everybody knows
I'm a fraud and a virgin,
1275
01:07:03,786 --> 01:07:07,454
and I can't look anybody
in the eye ever again.
1276
01:07:07,456 --> 01:07:10,125
You're looking me
in the eye right now.
1277
01:07:12,260 --> 01:07:15,329
You know, I'm pretty good at it.
1278
01:07:15,331 --> 01:07:16,764
Uh-huh.
1279
01:07:19,369 --> 01:07:22,804
Look, um.
1280
01:07:22,806 --> 01:07:24,806
Cassie, when you left town
the first time
1281
01:07:24,807 --> 01:07:29,177
it was the worst thing
that ever happened to me.
1282
01:07:29,179 --> 01:07:32,179
I've never forgotten about you.
I think about you all the time.
1283
01:07:32,181 --> 01:07:33,681
I mean,
the only reason that I'm...
1284
01:07:33,682 --> 01:07:35,282
the only reason
I married Heather,
1285
01:07:35,284 --> 01:07:38,552
is, uh... you know,
I get it, okay?
1286
01:07:38,554 --> 01:07:40,221
I get it. You... you had
to do what you had to do.
1287
01:07:40,222 --> 01:07:41,556
You had to get out of town,
1288
01:07:41,557 --> 01:07:43,690
you had to leave us all behind.
1289
01:07:43,693 --> 01:07:46,693
You had to just go do your
own thing and that's fine, okay?
1290
01:07:46,695 --> 01:07:48,396
I forgive you.
1291
01:07:50,699 --> 01:07:52,500
You forgive me?
1292
01:07:52,501 --> 01:07:55,503
Yeah. Yes, I forgive you.
1293
01:07:56,771 --> 01:07:58,773
You forgive me?
1294
01:07:58,775 --> 01:08:01,376
Do you have no idea
why I didn't leave town
1295
01:08:01,378 --> 01:08:04,112
the second after that funeral?
1296
01:08:04,114 --> 01:08:06,181
It's because I thought
you and your idiot friends
1297
01:08:06,182 --> 01:08:10,251
would be good material
for a book, but you're not.
1298
01:08:10,253 --> 01:08:14,389
You're just a bunch of sad, boring,
bumpkins, who were born here,
1299
01:08:14,391 --> 01:08:15,824
and will die here
1300
01:08:15,826 --> 01:08:17,859
and accomplish nothing
inbetween.
1301
01:08:25,501 --> 01:08:28,403
Does becoming a bitch count
as an accomplishment?
1302
01:08:28,404 --> 01:08:32,474
Please leave.
I have packing to do.
1303
01:08:32,475 --> 01:08:33,608
Yeah, I'm going thank you.
1304
01:08:49,824 --> 01:08:53,161
- Tada!
- What's that for?
1305
01:08:53,162 --> 01:08:55,162
- It's for you.
- It's just weird.
1306
01:08:55,164 --> 01:08:57,332
You've never
done that before. So...
1307
01:08:57,333 --> 01:08:59,634
Yeah, I thought
it would be nice.
1308
01:08:59,636 --> 01:09:03,137
Okay. You know you don't
owe me anything, right?
1309
01:09:03,140 --> 01:09:05,140
That I'm not some,
like, little girl,
1310
01:09:05,141 --> 01:09:06,908
whose feelings have been hurt?
1311
01:09:09,278 --> 01:09:11,445
Relax, okay? It was...
1312
01:09:11,448 --> 01:09:13,614
It's just a muffin, okay?
It's not even a good one.
1313
01:09:13,617 --> 01:09:15,382
I gave you the one
that I dropped.
1314
01:09:19,755 --> 01:09:22,489
I put my notice in.
1315
01:09:23,725 --> 01:09:25,527
What? What are
you talking about?
1316
01:09:25,529 --> 01:09:27,395
This town sucks,
it's always sucked.
1317
01:09:27,396 --> 01:09:29,796
So...
I am out of here.
1318
01:09:29,798 --> 01:09:32,266
I don't want to become
like my cousin Heather.
1319
01:09:32,269 --> 01:09:34,636
You know, just settle for somebody
just because they're there.
1320
01:09:34,637 --> 01:09:37,505
You should do the same.
1321
01:09:37,506 --> 01:09:39,173
Or not, I don't know.
1322
01:09:41,810 --> 01:09:43,810
It's not really fair
for me to say it, I guess.
1323
01:09:43,813 --> 01:09:46,847
You do you.
1324
01:09:46,850 --> 01:09:49,817
All I know is that leaving here
scares the shit out of me,
1325
01:09:49,819 --> 01:09:52,186
and if you're scared of
something, it's worth doing.
1326
01:09:52,189 --> 01:09:55,222
So, I am gonna do that.
1327
01:09:55,225 --> 01:09:58,493
Anyway, thank you
for the dropped muffin.
1328
01:10:14,677 --> 01:10:17,578
Jay Macmaster and his wife
are gonna be delayed.
1329
01:10:17,581 --> 01:10:19,680
You're gonna
have to get over this.
1330
01:10:19,682 --> 01:10:21,783
I feel like there's a hole
inside of me, man.
1331
01:10:21,784 --> 01:10:26,654
Could I be perfectly frank
with you right now?
1332
01:10:26,655 --> 01:10:28,756
- Of course.
- Stop being such a little bitch
1333
01:10:28,757 --> 01:10:31,259
and do what you want.
1334
01:10:31,261 --> 01:10:34,462
I want to have the orgy.
1335
01:10:34,463 --> 01:10:38,365
- So, have the orgy.
- I can't.
1336
01:10:38,368 --> 01:10:40,969
Cassie kicked everyone out.
1337
01:10:40,970 --> 01:10:43,337
So, how does that stop you?
1338
01:10:45,841 --> 01:10:47,942
If you have it, though,
I wanna come.
1339
01:10:47,944 --> 01:10:49,978
No, you're not getting
the commission on my house.
1340
01:10:49,979 --> 01:10:54,414
That's fine. I'm making
a killing in this town.
1341
01:10:54,417 --> 01:10:57,417
Oh, god, if I didn't want to be
you, I would hate you so much.
1342
01:10:57,420 --> 01:10:59,820
- What was that?
- What? Nothing, I didn't...
1343
01:10:59,823 --> 01:11:02,457
did you...
1344
01:11:02,458 --> 01:11:04,658
Okay.
1345
01:11:11,867 --> 01:11:13,400
Jesus Christ.
1346
01:11:13,403 --> 01:11:14,801
I want to rent my own apartment.
1347
01:11:14,804 --> 01:11:17,271
Well, I'm a bit busy
right now, okay, Seth?
1348
01:11:17,274 --> 01:11:19,474
I have to move out now before my mom
gets back to town, or she won't let me.
1349
01:11:19,475 --> 01:11:21,643
Whatever.
1350
01:11:21,645 --> 01:11:25,512
But you're in that house
right now all by yourself?
1351
01:11:25,515 --> 01:11:27,481
Yeah, she gets back next week.
1352
01:11:27,484 --> 01:11:29,951
Do you want to have
a party, Seth?
1353
01:11:29,953 --> 01:11:33,320
Why, so, so no one will show up?
1354
01:11:33,323 --> 01:11:35,989
- No thanks. -No, no, people will show up.
I can promise you that.
1355
01:11:35,992 --> 01:11:39,894
- Like, girls? -Girls, totally.
Tons of girls.
1356
01:11:39,895 --> 01:11:41,863
- Do they like videogames? -Yeah, yeah.
They love videogames.
1357
01:11:41,864 --> 01:11:44,032
- Any thing you want, yeah.
- Are they Japanese?
1358
01:11:44,033 --> 01:11:46,734
Sure, yeah. Yeah, Japanese
girls, yeah, totally.
1359
01:11:46,735 --> 01:11:48,435
- Chinese girls.
- No.
1360
01:11:48,438 --> 01:11:50,971
- Okay.
- No Chinese.
1361
01:11:50,974 --> 01:11:53,640
Yeah, okay,
no, no Chinese girls.
1362
01:11:57,945 --> 01:12:01,649
- Hey.
- Bruce.
1363
01:12:01,650 --> 01:12:05,386
So, you still wanna
do this thing?
1364
01:12:05,387 --> 01:12:06,887
Great okay, cool.
1365
01:12:06,890 --> 01:12:09,390
Maybe, maybe lose the pajamas,
get more cleavage,
1366
01:12:09,391 --> 01:12:10,757
like, sexy, cleavage.
1367
01:12:12,027 --> 01:12:13,427
Like, right now.
1368
01:12:16,564 --> 01:12:19,634
Hi, so I think we found a way
to keep the orgy going.
1369
01:12:19,636 --> 01:12:23,637
- I don't know.
1370
01:12:23,640 --> 01:12:26,106
Vintage vinyl, all sale's final.
This is Chester.
1371
01:12:26,109 --> 01:12:28,443
It's back on.
Seth's place.
1372
01:12:28,444 --> 01:12:31,112
- Tonight.
- Ding-dong.
1373
01:12:31,113 --> 01:12:33,581
Ding, ding, I'll be there.
1374
01:12:33,582 --> 01:12:35,882
Good afternoon, mayor.
1375
01:12:35,885 --> 01:12:37,784
Nice to see you, Heather.
1376
01:12:37,787 --> 01:12:39,787
So, there's no delicate way
to put this,
1377
01:12:39,788 --> 01:12:41,488
so I'm just gonna
come right out with it.
1378
01:12:41,490 --> 01:12:43,056
We're having an orgy
this evening,
1379
01:12:43,059 --> 01:12:44,725
and we could use some
additional pensises,
1380
01:12:44,728 --> 01:12:46,860
if you would care to attend?
1381
01:12:46,863 --> 01:12:48,395
Oh, absolutely.
1382
01:12:48,398 --> 01:12:50,731
Do you guys have
your own anal beads, or...
1383
01:12:50,734 --> 01:12:53,568
Is this more
of a blowjab kind of thing?
1384
01:13:05,648 --> 01:13:08,716
So, where shall
we fornicate, Bruce?
1385
01:13:15,990 --> 01:13:18,059
Yeah!
1386
01:13:49,925 --> 01:13:51,859
- Cocktail?
- No, no thanks.
1387
01:13:51,860 --> 01:13:53,528
Boys?
1388
01:13:59,635 --> 01:14:01,601
There's my guy.
1389
01:14:01,604 --> 01:14:02,970
- Hey
- hey.
1390
01:14:02,971 --> 01:14:05,472
I'm so glad
that you could make it.
1391
01:14:05,475 --> 01:14:06,807
I'm really glad I could come.
1392
01:14:06,810 --> 01:14:08,443
I'm even happier when you do.
1393
01:14:08,444 --> 01:14:09,777
...Are you okay?
1394
01:14:09,779 --> 01:14:11,139
- Got a little...
- Yeah, I'm good.
1395
01:14:13,448 --> 01:14:15,550
Why is my living room
like a whore dungeon?
1396
01:14:15,551 --> 01:14:18,653
What are you guys doing
with my mom's pashminas?
1397
01:14:18,654 --> 01:14:21,189
- She loves those.
- For the orgy.
1398
01:14:21,190 --> 01:14:23,557
What orgy?
This is a party.
1399
01:14:23,560 --> 01:14:25,059
Yeah, yeah, it's a party.
1400
01:14:25,060 --> 01:14:26,594
It's a party
for your penis, bro.
1401
01:14:26,595 --> 01:14:28,595
I don't want a penis party
for my penis.
1402
01:14:28,597 --> 01:14:31,231
I want a party party for me.
1403
01:14:33,769 --> 01:14:35,101
Hey, where you going?
1404
01:14:35,104 --> 01:14:37,537
I'm gonna go play
some video games.
1405
01:14:37,539 --> 01:14:39,539
Does anybody
want to play with me?
1406
01:14:39,542 --> 01:14:41,876
No, maybe later, man.
Maybe later.
1407
01:14:58,627 --> 01:15:01,996
So, do you wanna go somewhere?
1408
01:15:05,268 --> 01:15:08,502
It doesn't bother me at all
that you ejaculated quickly.
1409
01:15:08,505 --> 01:15:12,573
That is a sign of a man who
has his priorities straight.
1410
01:15:12,574 --> 01:15:13,940
But there is
something else that...
1411
01:15:13,943 --> 01:15:17,278
Why don't you finish that drink?
1412
01:15:17,279 --> 01:15:20,146
- For you...
- Yeah?
1413
01:15:20,149 --> 01:15:21,615
That might tickle
your fantasy...
1414
01:15:21,618 --> 01:15:25,853
Oh, and there it is. Okay.
1415
01:15:25,854 --> 01:15:27,889
Polly, can I...
can I talk to you, please?
1416
01:15:27,890 --> 01:15:29,856
Guess what? I want you to know that
I think that you're kind of...
1417
01:15:29,859 --> 01:15:32,025
We're sort of in the middle
of something here, sport.
1418
01:15:32,028 --> 01:15:34,761
Uh, yeah, give me a second,
okay, Spencer?
1419
01:15:34,764 --> 01:15:39,000
I just want you to know that
I think you're really beautiful.
1420
01:15:39,002 --> 01:15:42,837
And that I just... I think you're
fucking amazing.
1421
01:15:42,838 --> 01:15:46,073
I... I screwed up
the other night, okay?
1422
01:15:46,074 --> 01:15:47,875
It's fine.
You know what, Chester,
1423
01:15:47,877 --> 01:15:49,577
it was, it really was nothing.
1424
01:15:49,578 --> 01:15:53,780
No. It's not fine. Okay,
and it wasn't nothing.
1425
01:15:53,783 --> 01:15:55,917
And you weren't bored.
1426
01:15:55,918 --> 01:15:59,220
This is worth doing.
1427
01:15:59,221 --> 01:16:03,056
Yeah? How do you know?
1428
01:16:03,059 --> 01:16:05,626
'Cause I'm scared shitless.
1429
01:16:08,063 --> 01:16:12,832
Whoa, I declare
this orgy officially...
1430
01:16:12,835 --> 01:16:15,136
Begun! Yeah!
1431
01:16:20,809 --> 01:16:22,909
- Adam. -Do you know
where Cassie is?
1432
01:16:22,912 --> 01:16:25,813
- No.
- I think she left town.
1433
01:16:25,814 --> 01:16:28,215
- Without saying, goodbye?
- Wouldn't she?
1434
01:16:28,216 --> 01:16:30,984
Bitch.
1435
01:16:30,987 --> 01:16:33,154
Guess you don't
want to go to Seth's either?
1436
01:16:33,155 --> 01:16:34,588
What at... I was at Seth's.
1437
01:16:34,591 --> 01:16:36,090
What do you think?
1438
01:16:36,091 --> 01:16:38,259
Really?
1439
01:16:38,261 --> 01:16:40,627
Heather was the one
that told me...
1440
01:16:40,630 --> 01:16:41,962
How do you not know about this?
1441
01:16:46,835 --> 01:16:48,836
I want you inside
of me right now.
1442
01:16:52,673 --> 01:16:54,675
- Come here.
- Things are progressing nicely.
1443
01:16:57,279 --> 01:16:59,814
Oh, this is my cue.
1444
01:16:59,815 --> 01:17:02,283
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What, yeah,
1445
01:17:02,284 --> 01:17:06,186
take this off. Yeah, just,
yeah, yeah, whatever.
1446
01:17:06,189 --> 01:17:08,288
Yeah, now we're better.
1447
01:17:09,859 --> 01:17:11,658
Yeah.
1448
01:17:13,929 --> 01:17:16,631
Come on, guys. Come on, let's
ease up on the kissing.
1449
01:17:16,632 --> 01:17:18,832
Come on, guys,
let's use our mouths
1450
01:17:18,835 --> 01:17:20,333
for the greater good here.
1451
01:17:20,336 --> 01:17:22,369
Bruce.
1452
01:17:22,372 --> 01:17:23,804
Oh, yeah.
1453
01:17:23,805 --> 01:17:26,140
- Oh, yeah.
- Bruce!
1454
01:17:26,141 --> 01:17:28,809
What? What?
It's a goddamn fucking orgy.
1455
01:17:28,810 --> 01:17:30,711
If you've got a hole and you're not
using it, then you're being selfish.
1456
01:17:30,712 --> 01:17:32,046
Clearly, they're
having a moment.
1457
01:17:32,047 --> 01:17:34,081
Well if they're having
a fucking moment,
1458
01:17:34,082 --> 01:17:35,949
then they should take this fucking
romantic moment to a room.
1459
01:17:35,952 --> 01:17:37,952
Yeah, come on.
Room. Room.
1460
01:17:37,953 --> 01:17:39,686
No, no, I didn't mean it.
I didn't actually...
1461
01:17:39,689 --> 01:17:40,988
I was just just saying it!
I was just just saying it,
1462
01:17:40,989 --> 01:17:41,988
like, in the heat of the moment.
1463
01:17:41,990 --> 01:17:43,356
It wasn't sexy... ow, fuck!
1464
01:17:52,768 --> 01:17:55,269
- Hello?
- Hey.
1465
01:17:55,270 --> 01:17:57,203
You left without
saying, "goodbye"?
1466
01:17:57,206 --> 01:17:59,273
Fuck you, Judas.
1467
01:17:59,274 --> 01:18:02,109
Are you kidding?
I saved you.
1468
01:18:02,110 --> 01:18:05,046
From losing your virginity
to fucking Bruce.
1469
01:18:05,047 --> 01:18:08,048
You would really, really
want to hold that against me?
1470
01:18:08,051 --> 01:18:10,051
I trusted you with that.
1471
01:18:10,052 --> 01:18:12,052
You know how hard it is
for me to trust people?
1472
01:18:12,055 --> 01:18:14,454
Yeah, sorry. You should
just get the fuck over it.
1473
01:18:14,457 --> 01:18:17,457
- When did you leave?
- Just now.
1474
01:18:17,460 --> 01:18:19,426
Okay, come back.
1475
01:18:19,429 --> 01:18:21,796
I can't. I'm on the lam.
1476
01:18:21,797 --> 01:18:23,463
The book people
are gonna come after me.
1477
01:18:23,466 --> 01:18:25,332
My career's over, life's over...
1478
01:18:25,333 --> 01:18:27,835
why don't you just write a book?
1479
01:18:27,837 --> 01:18:29,369
Yeah, what am I supposed
to write about?
1480
01:18:29,372 --> 01:18:32,707
A... a virgin who plans
an orgy for a bunch of prudes?
1481
01:18:32,708 --> 01:18:34,041
And then out myself
1482
01:18:34,042 --> 01:18:36,176
to the entire world
in the process?
1483
01:18:38,046 --> 01:18:40,314
That's not bad, actually.
1484
01:18:40,315 --> 01:18:43,117
You said your careers
over anyway, so it saves you
1485
01:18:43,118 --> 01:18:45,351
from having to remember
a bunch of bullshit lies
1486
01:18:45,354 --> 01:18:46,487
all the time.
1487
01:18:48,055 --> 01:18:50,056
These people don't want me here.
1488
01:18:50,059 --> 01:18:52,225
Adam just came looking for you.
1489
01:18:52,228 --> 01:18:54,194
Yeah, I saw him last night.
1490
01:18:54,197 --> 01:18:58,899
You did? So, you know
about him and Heather?
1491
01:18:58,900 --> 01:19:01,402
What about him and Heather?
1492
01:19:08,042 --> 01:19:09,510
Stop the orgy!
1493
01:19:28,063 --> 01:19:30,131
Heather?
1494
01:19:30,132 --> 01:19:33,967
- Do you have something
you want to say? -No.
1495
01:19:33,970 --> 01:19:36,302
How nice of you to join us.
1496
01:19:36,305 --> 01:19:37,805
Are you gonna tell
them, or should I?
1497
01:19:39,507 --> 01:19:41,108
What's going on, here?
1498
01:19:41,109 --> 01:19:42,943
My money's on gonorrhea.
1499
01:19:42,944 --> 01:19:46,113
Gentlemen, the uh,
the only reason
1500
01:19:46,114 --> 01:19:49,382
that Heather
wants to sleep with you,
1501
01:19:49,385 --> 01:19:51,886
the only reason that this whole thing
is happening in the first place,
1502
01:19:51,887 --> 01:19:54,220
is because Heather Murray,
1503
01:19:54,222 --> 01:19:56,890
is trying to get pregnant.
1504
01:19:56,893 --> 01:19:59,560
And she doesn't want your DNA in the mix.
Yeah, I get that.
1505
01:19:59,561 --> 01:20:02,095
No, not... that's not
what I'm saying.
1506
01:20:02,097 --> 01:20:05,565
First of all, I have dead
sperm, apparently, okay?
1507
01:20:05,568 --> 01:20:08,101
That's not... the point is,
this whole thing
1508
01:20:08,104 --> 01:20:09,837
is based on a lie.
All right?
1509
01:20:09,838 --> 01:20:13,006
And Cassie who we slut-shamed
out of town years ago,
1510
01:20:13,009 --> 01:20:15,341
now, she's leaving town
again because she's a virgin?
1511
01:20:15,344 --> 01:20:17,344
Huh? How does
that make sense?
1512
01:20:17,345 --> 01:20:19,880
And, and what, we're doing this
to prove that we're not prudes?
1513
01:20:19,881 --> 01:20:22,550
You know what?
I'm a prude, okay? I am.
1514
01:20:22,551 --> 01:20:24,251
I don't... I don't wanna
have sex in front of anybody.
1515
01:20:24,252 --> 01:20:26,119
I want it to be me
and one other person.
1516
01:20:26,122 --> 01:20:29,422
Nobody watching,
no... no toys, no lubes.
1517
01:20:29,425 --> 01:20:32,193
Just vanilla.
That's me, I'm vanilla.
1518
01:20:32,194 --> 01:20:34,194
As for the rest of you...
I mean I don't even know
1519
01:20:34,197 --> 01:20:36,896
how you could have sex
in front of... look at this.
1520
01:20:36,899 --> 01:20:39,233
You know how much confidence it takes to
lay naked like that on somebody's couch?
1521
01:20:39,234 --> 01:20:41,601
- You ever been in this house before?
- Yeah, never.
1522
01:20:41,604 --> 01:20:44,137
And yet it's like he lives here.
1523
01:20:44,140 --> 01:20:47,507
Good for you. But you know what?
Be yourself, all right?
1524
01:20:47,510 --> 01:20:49,510
Everybody just be
themselves and be honest.
1525
01:20:49,511 --> 01:20:51,878
Is this all true, Heather?
1526
01:20:51,881 --> 01:20:54,381
You want us to impregnate you?
1527
01:20:54,382 --> 01:20:56,483
Nobody ever has to know.
1528
01:20:58,054 --> 01:21:01,121
All I've ever wanted
was to be a mother.
1529
01:21:01,122 --> 01:21:04,457
And they say that it takes
a village to raise a child...
1530
01:21:04,460 --> 01:21:08,962
- I'm down with it, shh-sh...
- Me too.
1531
01:21:08,965 --> 01:21:11,966
Would we have to help
raise the kid?
1532
01:21:11,967 --> 01:21:13,634
No I just need your sperm.
1533
01:21:14,869 --> 01:21:15,869
Don't care.
1534
01:21:17,605 --> 01:21:20,306
Do that you gotta do.
1535
01:21:20,309 --> 01:21:22,976
But I'm... I'm out.
1536
01:21:29,484 --> 01:21:31,018
- So, who's first?
- Me.
1537
01:21:31,020 --> 01:21:33,186
- How about you go third?
- What? Oh, come on!
1538
01:21:33,189 --> 01:21:35,021
Gus is gonna go before me?
1539
01:21:35,024 --> 01:21:36,657
You don't want to have
a Samoan baby.
1540
01:21:36,658 --> 01:21:40,159
How is it that no one
in this town knows what I am?
1541
01:21:40,162 --> 01:21:42,328
- I'm Indian.
- No, you're not.
1542
01:21:42,331 --> 01:21:44,998
Dot, not feather.
1543
01:21:45,001 --> 01:21:47,667
Actually, you people make
really beautiful mixed babies.
1544
01:21:47,670 --> 01:21:49,369
- I'm first.
- Okay.
1545
01:21:49,372 --> 01:21:51,204
Oh, okay.
All right, yes.
1546
01:21:51,207 --> 01:21:54,207
Here we go, let's do this.
Let's do this, here we go...
1547
01:21:54,210 --> 01:21:57,243
- what? -Nothing, I thought
you'd be smaller.
1548
01:22:29,345 --> 01:22:31,345
How do you do that?
1549
01:22:31,346 --> 01:22:34,314
Your tongue, it's like
an Olympic athlete.
1550
01:22:37,018 --> 01:22:39,686
I'm gonna give you
this ice cream on a cone.
1551
01:22:39,689 --> 01:22:43,356
And what flavor am I?
1552
01:22:43,359 --> 01:22:45,359
Tiger tale.
1553
01:22:45,360 --> 01:22:49,029
No, tiger tale is disgusting.
1554
01:22:49,030 --> 01:22:51,030
Do my lady bits
taste like black licorice?
1555
01:22:51,033 --> 01:22:53,266
I love black licorice.
1556
01:23:20,627 --> 01:23:22,328
Oh, god.
1557
01:23:27,301 --> 01:23:29,302
Cassie.
1558
01:23:29,305 --> 01:23:33,306
Oh my god, I'm so glad
you came back.
1559
01:23:35,342 --> 01:23:37,344
There's so much stuff
I wanna say about last night,
1560
01:23:37,345 --> 01:23:40,346
I shouldn't have... okay...
1561
01:23:40,349 --> 01:23:43,583
- If you wanna talk first,
that's fine, too. -Fuck you.
1562
01:23:43,586 --> 01:23:47,186
God, I've been wanting
to do that for so long.
1563
01:23:47,189 --> 01:23:49,555
I mean, if this is part of some
sort of, uh, big-city foreplay
1564
01:23:49,557 --> 01:23:51,278
I'm... you're gonna have
to walk me through.
1565
01:24:09,344 --> 01:24:11,412
There's a musk.
1566
01:24:49,083 --> 01:24:51,251
So, have you fucked anyone, yet?
1567
01:24:51,252 --> 01:24:54,488
- No.
- Okay.
1568
01:24:54,489 --> 01:24:58,826
Well, where should we do this?
1569
01:24:58,828 --> 01:25:00,560
Do what?
1570
01:25:00,563 --> 01:25:03,130
The sex.
We're going to bang.
1571
01:25:03,131 --> 01:25:05,431
That's okay.
1572
01:25:08,302 --> 01:25:13,172
I'm offering you
farm-fresh, free range,
1573
01:25:13,175 --> 01:25:15,708
grade a pussy here.
1574
01:25:15,711 --> 01:25:18,578
Yeah, you don't have to do that.
I'm fine.
1575
01:25:18,581 --> 01:25:21,814
Fine? What... what is this?
What is this?
1576
01:25:21,817 --> 01:25:25,185
What's your deal?
Are you not attracted to me?
1577
01:25:29,623 --> 01:25:31,225
You're okay.
1578
01:25:34,729 --> 01:25:37,430
I'm sorry, what sort of bar
1579
01:25:37,432 --> 01:25:39,699
are we comparing me to,
porn stars?
1580
01:25:39,702 --> 01:25:43,136
- Mostly, yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
1581
01:25:43,139 --> 01:25:45,572
I hate to tell you this,
sweetie, but,
1582
01:25:45,573 --> 01:25:49,909
those women
aren't actually real.
1583
01:25:49,912 --> 01:25:51,878
What's so real about you?
1584
01:25:55,283 --> 01:25:57,317
That's it.
It's on.
1585
01:25:57,319 --> 01:25:59,720
- Oh, fuck. This is so nice.
1586
01:25:59,721 --> 01:26:02,756
- This is just so nice. -Oh, I'm not
gonna make it, I'm not gonna make it.
1587
01:26:02,757 --> 01:26:06,326
- Not gonna make it. -Okay.
Okay, 218 x 4 million.
1588
01:26:06,328 --> 01:26:07,860
What?
I don't understand that.
1589
01:26:07,863 --> 01:26:09,729
- Just focus. Add.
- Focus on what?
1590
01:26:19,640 --> 01:26:21,774
You know what
my dad used to say,
1591
01:26:21,777 --> 01:26:24,211
"life gives you lemons,
you make lemonade."
1592
01:26:24,212 --> 01:26:26,479
Absolutely, bro.
1593
01:26:26,481 --> 01:26:28,347
A whole jug of it.
1594
01:26:30,385 --> 01:26:33,520
- So, that's that, then.
- Yeah, that's that.
1595
01:26:33,521 --> 01:26:38,225
...That's... what's what?
1596
01:26:38,226 --> 01:26:40,194
Let's make some lemonade.
1597
01:26:42,663 --> 01:26:46,567
Yeah, absolutely. Sure.
1598
01:26:46,569 --> 01:26:50,970
So,
what... what's happening?
1599
01:26:50,972 --> 01:26:53,907
If you got a hole,
and you're not using it...
1600
01:27:20,635 --> 01:27:24,971
- Does that hurt?
- The piercing, no.
1601
01:27:24,974 --> 01:27:26,739
It's good.
1602
01:27:26,742 --> 01:27:27,940
You sure it doesn't hurt?
1603
01:27:27,943 --> 01:27:33,380
- Mm-hmm. Whoa!
- Oh, ah!
1604
01:27:33,381 --> 01:27:36,917
- Can we just play video games now?
- Yeah, absolutely, we can.
1605
01:27:41,590 --> 01:27:44,323
How is it?
1606
01:27:45,994 --> 01:27:48,561
Well, the stinging has subsided,
1607
01:27:48,564 --> 01:27:51,364
so that's something.
1608
01:27:51,367 --> 01:27:54,001
I'm sorry.
1609
01:27:54,002 --> 01:27:56,536
I just really had to hurt you.
1610
01:27:56,537 --> 01:28:00,407
Oh.
Well, mission accomplished.
1611
01:28:03,444 --> 01:28:05,045
Do you know why I was afraid
1612
01:28:05,046 --> 01:28:06,779
to come back here?
1613
01:28:09,516 --> 01:28:13,453
Because I didn't want
to see you happy.
1614
01:28:15,590 --> 01:28:17,923
Well, you sure fixed your wish
with that one.
1615
01:28:21,895 --> 01:28:24,363
What about you?
1616
01:28:24,365 --> 01:28:26,300
Are you happy?
1617
01:28:27,335 --> 01:28:30,636
I'm tired.
1618
01:28:30,639 --> 01:28:31,837
All that stuff I said last night
1619
01:28:31,840 --> 01:28:33,840
about forgiving you,
that was shitty.
1620
01:28:35,510 --> 01:28:36,842
It's not your fault
1621
01:28:36,845 --> 01:28:38,578
that I married Heather,
or I stayed in town,
1622
01:28:38,579 --> 01:28:41,314
it's got nothing to do with you.
1623
01:28:44,652 --> 01:28:46,520
I'm the reason
that nothing happened
1624
01:28:46,521 --> 01:28:48,622
between us.
1625
01:28:50,692 --> 01:28:53,993
I guess I should be
asking you for forgiveness.
1626
01:28:55,029 --> 01:28:56,662
So...
1627
01:28:57,731 --> 01:28:59,466
I'm sorry.
1628
01:29:01,368 --> 01:29:03,537
That's what I was gonna say
before you...
1629
01:29:03,538 --> 01:29:05,939
Slapped me in the face
and kneed me in the balls.
1630
01:29:05,940 --> 01:29:10,042
I'm sorry, for, um...
1631
01:29:10,045 --> 01:29:11,511
All of it.
1632
01:29:15,682 --> 01:29:17,751
How's your balls?
1633
01:29:17,752 --> 01:29:21,354
Mmm.
Still intact, I guess.
1634
01:29:21,356 --> 01:29:24,858
It's not like I'm gonna
be using them for anything.
1635
01:29:24,859 --> 01:29:25,926
Ever.
1636
01:29:28,895 --> 01:29:30,130
Can I see?
1637
01:29:32,033 --> 01:29:35,601
It's not really my best feature.
1638
01:29:35,604 --> 01:29:37,904
Oh.
1639
01:29:40,073 --> 01:29:44,677
You know, it doesn't feel
that useless to me.
1640
01:29:47,381 --> 01:29:49,783
Cassie, I...
1641
01:29:49,784 --> 01:29:50,951
Yeah?
1642
01:30:15,877 --> 01:30:17,644
Did you get some lube?
1643
01:30:17,645 --> 01:30:19,045
All I could find
was some apple butter.
1644
01:30:19,046 --> 01:30:20,814
Yeah, sure, fine.
Fuck it. Whatever.
1645
01:30:20,815 --> 01:30:22,149
...We don't have to do this.
1646
01:30:22,150 --> 01:30:24,016
No, we're gonna do this,
come on, come on.
1647
01:30:24,019 --> 01:30:25,918
- Let's just do this, all right?
- Yup. Here we go.
1648
01:30:25,921 --> 01:30:27,554
Oh, whoa, hey,
what are you doing there,
1649
01:30:27,555 --> 01:30:29,756
- captain?
- You need to be erect.
1650
01:30:29,757 --> 01:30:32,958
I can get myself erect,
thank you very much.
1651
01:30:32,961 --> 01:30:35,095
- Be my guest. Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, watch this.
1652
01:30:35,096 --> 01:30:36,896
Geez.
1653
01:30:36,899 --> 01:30:38,164
Oh, look at that.
1654
01:30:38,167 --> 01:30:40,567
...Oh, fuck.
1655
01:30:40,569 --> 01:30:43,970
Uh, Auschwitz.
Uh, uh, Dachau, dacha...
1656
01:30:43,971 --> 01:30:47,908
- Uh, bergen-belsen. Uh, terezin.
Uh... -wait, what?
1657
01:30:47,909 --> 01:30:49,876
- What are you saying? What?
- Those are
1658
01:30:49,877 --> 01:30:52,578
...concentration camps.
From the holocaust.
1659
01:30:54,148 --> 01:30:57,050
Why? Is that too dark?
Too much?
1660
01:30:57,051 --> 01:30:59,519
- Yeah, it's a little much.
- Okay.
1661
01:31:02,689 --> 01:31:04,957
What is the appeal, here?
1662
01:31:04,960 --> 01:31:07,828
I mean, you just die and then
you do it all over again.
1663
01:31:07,829 --> 01:31:08,962
Yeah.
1664
01:31:08,963 --> 01:31:10,796
That's what I like about it.
1665
01:31:10,798 --> 01:31:11,965
When Mario dies,
1666
01:31:11,966 --> 01:31:13,567
he doesn't rage against
the world,
1667
01:31:13,569 --> 01:31:16,036
he just picks himself up,
1668
01:31:16,037 --> 01:31:18,171
goes back to the start
and tries again,
1669
01:31:18,172 --> 01:31:22,007
until he figures out
how to save the Princess.
1670
01:31:27,881 --> 01:31:29,515
Seth?
1671
01:31:31,652 --> 01:31:33,752
What's your plan?
1672
01:31:33,755 --> 01:31:36,489
I mean, you can't really just
stay in your mother's basement
1673
01:31:36,492 --> 01:31:39,725
and play video games
for the rest of your life.
1674
01:31:39,728 --> 01:31:41,528
What other life am I gonna have?
1675
01:31:41,529 --> 01:31:43,095
I'm the town loser.
1676
01:31:43,097 --> 01:31:46,733
Well, to the town, yeah.
1677
01:31:46,734 --> 01:31:49,536
But, who are you to you?
1678
01:31:49,537 --> 01:31:50,804
I mean, they all see Clark Kent
1679
01:31:50,805 --> 01:31:52,738
but...
1680
01:31:52,740 --> 01:31:54,073
I'm pretty sure
there's a Kal-El
1681
01:31:54,076 --> 01:31:55,708
hiding in there somewhere.
1682
01:31:58,912 --> 01:32:00,646
I'm ready
to have sex with you now.
1683
01:32:06,255 --> 01:32:08,054
It's not so squishy this time.
1684
01:32:08,055 --> 01:32:10,724
Yeah.
1685
01:32:10,725 --> 01:32:12,158
Adam?
1686
01:32:12,159 --> 01:32:13,726
Yes?
1687
01:32:13,729 --> 01:32:15,962
Adam Mitchell?
1688
01:32:15,963 --> 01:32:18,899
Uh-huh?
1689
01:32:18,900 --> 01:32:21,067
I think of you fondly.
1690
01:32:24,070 --> 01:32:25,805
I am...
1691
01:32:25,806 --> 01:32:27,740
Quite fond of you as well.
1692
01:32:30,979 --> 01:32:33,078
Oh, thank you.
1693
01:32:33,081 --> 01:32:34,314
You're welcome.
1694
01:32:34,315 --> 01:32:35,614
Oh, thank you.
1695
01:32:35,617 --> 01:32:38,818
Don't mention it.
1696
01:32:38,819 --> 01:32:40,086
Okay.
1697
01:32:41,855 --> 01:32:45,190
Okay, you just...
1698
01:32:45,193 --> 01:32:47,127
You're over thinking it.
Just do it.
1699
01:32:47,128 --> 01:32:48,627
I just don't want to hurt you.
1700
01:32:48,630 --> 01:32:49,828
You won't.
1701
01:32:49,831 --> 01:32:51,064
Stop being such a fucking pussy.
1702
01:32:51,065 --> 01:32:52,765
Look, this is new for me.
1703
01:32:52,768 --> 01:32:56,136
All right, I gotta need
some positive reinforcement.
1704
01:32:57,573 --> 01:32:58,837
Look, I'm sorry.
1705
01:32:58,840 --> 01:33:00,606
Would you please fuck my bum
1706
01:33:00,609 --> 01:33:02,708
with your beautiful,
manly penis?
1707
01:33:02,711 --> 01:33:04,277
- Hmm?
- Okay.
1708
01:33:04,279 --> 01:33:07,046
- Good. All right. Okay, here we go.
- Okay.
1709
01:33:09,685 --> 01:33:10,850
- Okay.
- There you go.
1710
01:33:11,853 --> 01:33:13,686
Oh.
1711
01:33:16,023 --> 01:33:17,256
Oh.
1712
01:33:17,259 --> 01:33:19,993
...Oh, oh.
1713
01:33:19,994 --> 01:33:21,761
Okay.
1714
01:33:21,762 --> 01:33:23,630
Ooh.
1715
01:33:23,631 --> 01:33:25,631
...Oh.
1716
01:33:25,634 --> 01:33:27,199
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
1717
01:33:27,202 --> 01:33:28,667
- Fuck!
- Oh, shit!
1718
01:33:28,670 --> 01:33:30,069
- Oh, keep going, Chester.
1719
01:33:30,072 --> 01:33:31,805
- Oh, I'm going to go.
- Chester, keep going.
1720
01:33:31,806 --> 01:33:32,806
- Keep going!
- Oh!
1721
01:33:35,743 --> 01:33:36,743
Oh.
1722
01:33:38,145 --> 01:33:39,845
- Oh.
- Oh, yeah, boy.
1723
01:33:39,847 --> 01:33:41,715
- Thank you.
- Over here.
1724
01:33:41,716 --> 01:33:44,951
Fill me with baby juice.
1725
01:33:44,953 --> 01:33:45,953
- Whoo!
- Do it!
1726
01:34:00,400 --> 01:34:03,737
- Do you wanna flip around,
or something? -What?
1727
01:34:03,738 --> 01:34:05,372
Sorta go where like
we can't look at each other,
1728
01:34:05,373 --> 01:34:06,905
just to be fun,
just to switch it up.
1729
01:34:06,908 --> 01:34:08,942
- No, no, no. This is perfect.
- Okay.
1730
01:34:08,944 --> 01:34:09,943
Just like that.
1731
01:34:09,944 --> 01:34:12,979
- Yeah.
- Oh, my god.
1732
01:34:12,980 --> 01:34:15,148
- Yeah.
- What are you doing?
1733
01:34:15,149 --> 01:34:16,216
- Adam?
- Hmm?
1734
01:34:16,217 --> 01:34:18,051
- Hey.
- Hmm?
1735
01:34:18,052 --> 01:34:19,386
Look at me.
1736
01:34:19,387 --> 01:34:21,854
Everybody looks weird
when they come.
1737
01:34:21,856 --> 01:34:25,792
- Just look weird with me.
Okay? -Okay.
1738
01:35:30,091 --> 01:35:34,927
- Chester?
- Yeah?
1739
01:35:34,930 --> 01:35:38,097
Please don't put your penis
inside of anybody else.
1740
01:35:38,100 --> 01:35:39,865
Can we play video games now?
1741
01:35:39,868 --> 01:35:41,935
- Yeah, let's play video games now.
- Okay.
1742
01:35:51,445 --> 01:35:54,046
That, um...
1743
01:35:54,048 --> 01:35:57,050
That went a lot better
then in high school.
1744
01:35:57,051 --> 01:35:58,417
Yeah.
1745
01:36:00,421 --> 01:36:02,421
And nobody had to run
down the street
1746
01:36:02,423 --> 01:36:03,957
without any clothes on.
1747
01:36:03,958 --> 01:36:06,426
Yeah.
1748
01:36:08,429 --> 01:36:09,962
It's okay.
1749
01:36:11,164 --> 01:36:12,765
I'm over it.
1750
01:36:22,510 --> 01:36:24,042
Adam?
1751
01:36:32,051 --> 01:36:35,188
Adam, everyone can see you.
1752
01:36:37,291 --> 01:36:38,992
What are you doing?
1753
01:36:38,993 --> 01:36:41,426
Something I should have done
12 years ago.
1754
01:37:33,347 --> 01:37:36,282
- Come on.
- Whoo! It's so cold.
129337
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