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1
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When a man buys a ticket for a Magical
Mystery Tour, he knows what to expect
3
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We guarantee him the trip of a lifetime -
and that's just what he gets
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The incredible Magical Mystery Tour!
5
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Ceaseless nagging!
- Come on, we're going to be late
6
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I can't go any quicker!
7
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Stop it!
- Come on!
8
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:50,681
Richard B. Starkey and his Aunt Jessica are
always arguing about one thing or another
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00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:53,547
Oh, I'm going!
- Oh, go! Go on!
10
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And on a Sunday with the weather looking up
you'd think they'd have given it a rest
11
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:03,385
For goodness' sake, stop sitting down!
- All right, all right, what's your hurry?
12
00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:06,464
But no - on and on they go
13
00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:11,995
"Good morning" said Richard.
"Good afternoon. sir", said the courier
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00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,199
They were Sate
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'Allo, Flo, you all right, girl? I'll sit here
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Yes' I'll have the window seat
- All right, so you'll have the window seat!
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Good morning, ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls
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00:03:26,673 --> 00:03:29,711
Welcome to Magical Mystery Tours!
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I am your courier, Jolly Jimmy Johnson!
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All my friends call me Jolly Jimmy -
and you are all my friends!
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Over here is your hostess, that lovely,
delightful, delectable... Wendy Winters!
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And over here, our driver for the trip,
that wonderful driver, we hope...
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Alf! Off you go, Alf!
Here we go now. Splendid!
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Fasten your safety belts, please.
Away-way-way we go!
25
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Away we go, Alf, splendid!
Very comfy in the back there, is it? Lovely
26
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I say it's lovely. Get your popcorn out!
27
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Right hand down. There we are, splendid'
And away we go
28
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:17,501
Anyway, I'll tell you something'
you ain't coming away with me any more
29
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:21,903
Who bought the tickets for this trip? I did
- Yeah, with my money. I gave you the money
30
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:26,535
I'm taking you out. You're not taking
me anywhere. Remember that
31
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:30,514
And you've done nothing but eye all the fellas
on the coach since we got here
32
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I dunno, since Uncle Jack died,
you've never been the same
33
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Of course I ain't, I ain't got Uncle Jack, have I?
- I remember him... I remember him...
34
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If I ain't got him, I've got to get somebody else.
You should know, you're old enough at 21!
35
00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:48,456
You should do a bit of knitting. Do you good
- Who for? You?
36
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Should I knit for you?
- No, don't knit for me
37
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Who is that man?
38
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:07,607
Oh, that's Mr Bloodvessel. He's quite harmless,
he comes on all the trips
39
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He thinks he's a courier
40
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Last trip, he thought he was the driver
41
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:18,828
Well, you know when I saw your first film
I really thought you had something
42
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,465
But it was...
- I was only about six...
43
00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:25,467
Wasn't it "Blue Lady"? "Lady in Blue"?
Something like that
44
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:30,368
How old are you?
- Myself, I'm 30...
45
00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:33,000
but I look a little younger
due to the Fair Isle sweater which...
46
00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:36,911
Excuse me, sir, I'd like to take a photograph
of the young lady. Do you mind?
47
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:42,179
I don't mind if Miss Gabriella doesn't
- Well, Miss Gabriella doesn't mind
48
00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:48,652
Can I have you up there?
49
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:55,456
My lucky day!
50
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Good morning, lads and lasses.
My name is Miss Winters
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Good morning Miss Winters,
Miss Winters, Miss Winters!
52
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Yes, I just wanted to say if there's anything
I can do for you, you know what to do
53
00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:11,828
We at Magical Mysteries only have
your best interests at heart...
54
00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:14,831
and your every wish is our command
55
00:09:45,718 --> 00:09:48,130
As the bus leaves the town behind
and heads for the country...
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00:09:48,688 --> 00:09:51,032
everything begins to change
57
00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:55,463
Well, almost everything
58
00:10:03,903 --> 00:10:06,179
And already the magic
is beginning to Work
59
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:23,463
(The army sergeant is speaking
unintelligible nonsense)
60
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,471
Jolly good!
61
00:10:53,786 --> 00:10:57,734
(Still speaking nonsense)
62
00:11:33,726 --> 00:11:36,730
Why?
- Why?
63
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:38,007
Why?
64
00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:41,105
(Still speaking nonsense)
65
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:47,715
...and get your bloody hair cut!
66
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:43,300
Jolly good, Sarge, carry on
67
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:08,153
On your marks... Get set...
68
00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:10,355
Go!
69
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:27,963
Second gear! Come on!
70
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:43,681
Who's getting in that car?
Who is it?
71
00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:50,585
Come on, come on.
We've gotta win those with the bikes!
72
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:55,063
Stop it! Out of the road, you stupid...
He's picking the vicars up!
73
00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:57,165
Hold on, we've got 'em now, folks!
74
00:17:47,199 --> 00:17:52,581
If you look to your left, ladies and gentleman,
the view is not very inspiring
75
00:17:52,838 --> 00:17:55,546
Ah... but if you look to your right...
76
00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:49,462
Beyond the blue horizon,
far above the clouds v
77
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in a land that no-one knows...
78
00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:57,534
live four or five magicians who spend
their days casting wonderful spells
79
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:03,810
Come with me now into that secret place
where the eyes of man have never set foot
80
00:20:19,785 --> 00:20:21,787
Where's the bus?
81
00:20:31,697 --> 00:20:33,506
Where's the bus?
82
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,887
Where's the bus?
83
00:20:45,211 --> 00:20:47,213
It's coming
84
00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:51,894
Where's the bus?
85
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:54,398
The bus?
86
00:20:58,457 --> 00:21:01,870
The bus is ten miles north
on the Dewsbury road
87
00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:05,874
It's only ten miles away.
88
00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:08,536
Bus“. ten miles! Soon be here
89
00:21:15,541 --> 00:21:18,420
Oh, ladies and gentlemen,
quickly, look to your left
90
00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:21,151
Now there you see
the ancient Roman ruins
91
00:21:21,313 --> 00:21:24,317
Now they really have been there
an awful long time
92
00:21:24,416 --> 00:21:29,627
They are in fact a little difficult to see because
they're almost flattened to the ground...
93
00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:35,464
Meanwhile, back on the bus,
things are happening - and life lobbies on
94
00:21:35,561 --> 00:21:40,010
Indeed, the magic is so powerful that even
Mr Bloodvessel emerges from his shell
95
00:21:40,099 --> 00:21:41,703
He turns to speak
96
00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:44,848
If I may take the liberty, Mr...
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00:21:45,237 --> 00:21:48,081
Be my guest
- Give over!
98
00:21:50,342 --> 00:21:52,481
My dear lady...
99
00:21:54,013 --> 00:21:57,825
My clear lady, doesn't intuition
tell you what I feel?
100
00:21:59,084 --> 00:22:01,223
Don't interrupt.
101
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,527
You bring out my...
102
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:10,641
I... love you!
103
00:22:57,576 --> 00:23:00,557
Love you! Love you!
104
00:24:27,366 --> 00:24:29,073
I am the courier
105
00:24:30,703 --> 00:24:34,810
Good morning, men... and women
106
00:24:36,008 --> 00:24:40,753
Welcome. I am your friendly courier
107
00:24:42,548 --> 00:24:45,825
Mr Bloodvessel is my name
108
00:24:45,918 --> 00:24:48,694
Buster Bloodvessel
109
00:24:49,455 --> 00:24:54,700
I am concerned for you to enjoy yourselves...
110
00:24:55,260 --> 00:24:59,174
within the limits of British decency
111
00:24:59,264 --> 00:25:01,801
You know what I mean... don't you?
112
00:25:03,435 --> 00:25:05,312
Well? Don't you?
113
00:25:06,872 --> 00:25:08,852
Yes, Mr Bloodvessel
114
00:29:41,546 --> 00:29:44,459
What about Five little dickie birds
sitting on your head...
115
00:29:44,549 --> 00:29:47,189
one named Charlie and one named Fred
- Yes
116
00:29:47,286 --> 00:29:49,857
Do that one then
- You do it with me
117
00:29:49,955 --> 00:29:56,429
OK. Five little dickie birds
sitting on your head, one named...
118
00:29:56,595 --> 00:30:01,806
Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, Charlie,
whoops! Charlie, whoops! Charlie, Charlie...
119
00:30:02,167 --> 00:30:04,807
Can you do that one?
- No
120
00:30:04,903 --> 00:30:09,443
Yes
- No!
121
00:30:09,541 --> 00:30:12,215
I've got a present for you.
Do you know what it is? - No
122
00:30:12,344 --> 00:30:14,153
Have a guess
- No!
123
00:30:14,246 --> 00:30:17,227
Go on, have a guess
- No
124
00:30:17,316 --> 00:30:19,887
Have a guess!
- No!
125
00:30:20,852 --> 00:30:23,458
Well you're going to get it anyway
126
00:30:25,524 --> 00:30:28,232
What's that?
Wait a mo, wait a mo
127
00:30:29,861 --> 00:30:32,137
Do you want to blow it?
- No
128
00:30:39,204 --> 00:30:42,378
All right, should we give it to George?
- Yeah
129
00:30:43,208 --> 00:30:46,052
There you are, George
- Thank you
130
00:30:47,312 --> 00:30:53,024
George, George, George, George,
Oops! George, Oops! George, George...
131
00:30:53,185 --> 00:30:56,325
Ladies and gentlemen,
may I have your attention, please?
132
00:30:56,488 --> 00:31:02,871
Our estimated time of arrival for luncheon
is approximately 1:15. Thank you
133
00:31:03,562 --> 00:31:06,042
Now shut up!
- Shut up?
134
00:31:06,131 --> 00:31:11,012
I've had enough of it. I can't stand it
any more! I'm getting off! Off!
135
00:31:11,336 --> 00:31:12,906
Don't get historical!
136
00:31:29,621 --> 00:31:31,498
Aunt Jessie's hungry
137
00:31:32,691 --> 00:31:34,864
And she's dreaming
138
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:39,802
She's dreaming about food...
food, food
139
00:31:40,432 --> 00:31:42,673
Beautiful food
140
00:31:42,768 --> 00:31:45,647
Oh, lettuce (food) ,
141
00:31:45,871 --> 00:31:48,374
potatoes (food) ,
142
00:31:48,473 --> 00:31:50,419
apples (food)
143
00:31:50,509 --> 00:31:53,388
Oh, lovely food
144
00:31:54,079 --> 00:31:57,219
Lots and lots of spaghetti
145
00:32:48,300 --> 00:32:49,870
This time I mean it!
146
00:32:52,971 --> 00:32:55,747
I can't breathe any more. It's too much
147
00:33:09,621 --> 00:33:13,831
All this.“ mud... in 45 minutes!
148
00:33:14,192 --> 00:33:16,866
I can hardly get my breath!
149
00:33:17,662 --> 00:33:21,974
It's intake, Jessie, not output
150
00:33:22,267 --> 00:33:25,373
lam, I am!
151
00:33:25,470 --> 00:33:29,247
I am already!
Three times this week already!
152
00:33:29,341 --> 00:33:34,723
For goodness' sake, Jessie, sit down.
Remember!
153
00:33:38,149 --> 00:33:41,858
I don't care! This is the way
he would have wanted it
154
00:34:10,982 --> 00:34:13,588
Pirandello!
Help me up the stairs
155
00:34:14,853 --> 00:34:16,958
Yes, lady
156
00:35:01,433 --> 00:35:03,140
Wake up, Jessie
157
00:35:17,716 --> 00:35:22,426
There's no business like show business,
there's no business I know
158
00:35:23,054 --> 00:35:26,126
Everything about it is so appealing
159
00:35:27,425 --> 00:35:30,304
Let's go on wit' show
160
00:36:04,462 --> 00:36:06,533
Ta da!
161
00:36:06,731 --> 00:36:09,871
Here we are again! Everybody up
and quickly in your seats
162
00:41:08,666 --> 00:41:11,772
Well, well, well They are a happy crowd
163
00:41:12,670 --> 00:41:16,345
Go on. Come along, back on the bus.
Come on
164
00:41:29,020 --> 00:41:32,092
Ooh... Wonder what the magicians
are cooking up now!
165
00:41:32,924 --> 00:41:34,426
Ready!
166
00:41:36,761 --> 00:41:38,763
Tea up, fellas
167
00:41:40,465 --> 00:41:45,778
Ooh, talk about your magical mysteries,
I've spent half an hour looking for that sugar!
168
00:41:46,371 --> 00:41:48,544
I was half an hour
looking for the sugar
169
00:41:48,706 --> 00:41:51,710
ls there one for me?
- Aye, there's one over here, Richard
170
00:41:51,809 --> 00:41:56,019
Oh, how are you, Bonzo? All right?
Any news of the bus?
171
00:41:56,114 --> 00:42:00,290
The bus? It's ten miles north
on the Dewsbury road
172
00:42:00,385 --> 00:42:02,831
And they're having a lovely time
173
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:06,959
They're having a lovely time!
They're having a lovely time!
174
00:42:07,592 --> 00:42:10,004
Can you tell me what's next
on the agenda?
175
00:42:10,161 --> 00:42:11,572
A song
176
00:42:14,232 --> 00:42:16,678
No! No!
177
00:42:16,768 --> 00:42:20,511
Not you... them! On the bus!
178
00:42:22,907 --> 00:42:28,414
I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts!
- Have you then? Ah!
179
00:42:28,513 --> 00:42:31,585
There they are a-standing in a row!
180
00:42:33,951 --> 00:42:36,397
Come on, join in.
What's the matter with you?
181
00:42:42,060 --> 00:42:45,735
Toot Toot Tootsie goodbye! ,
182
00:43:10,822 --> 00:43:16,704
Val-deri, Val-dera, Val-deri,
Val-dera-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.V.
183
00:43:27,705 --> 00:43:32,916
When Irish eyes are smiling ,
184
00:44:52,356 --> 00:44:54,495
Ladies and gentlemen,
when the coach stops...
185
00:44:55,293 --> 00:45:00,299
would the gentlemen please follow Mr Johnson
and the ladies stay with me
186
00:45:02,366 --> 00:45:04,642
Here we are now, off we go
187
00:45:04,735 --> 00:45:07,739
In for a jolly evening with Jolly Jimmy.
This way!
188
00:45:14,178 --> 00:45:16,215
Everybody comfortable?
189
00:45:20,585 --> 00:45:22,030
Come on, where are they?
190
00:51:51,775 --> 00:51:54,346
And that was a Magical Mystery Tour
191
00:51:54,445 --> 00:51:56,288
I told you. Goodbye
15628
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