All language subtitles for Last Tango In Halifax - S01 - E03

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,166 --> 00:00:45,632 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru. 2 00:00:45,657 --> 00:00:47,816 You can't just leave him. Can't I? 3 00:00:47,817 --> 00:00:49,816 Why not? He left me. 4 00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:52,536 I mean, you can't just abandon him in the middle of nowhere. 5 00:00:52,537 --> 00:00:55,296 You think I should let him humiliate me over and over again... 6 00:00:55,297 --> 00:01:00,016 Bend! ..and pretend that everything's fine and dandy, when in actual fact 7 00:01:00,017 --> 00:01:01,857 I'm having a nervous bloody breakdown? 8 00:01:01,858 --> 00:01:03,097 Mum! 9 00:01:15,577 --> 00:01:16,657 Oh. 10 00:01:17,817 --> 00:01:18,857 Are you all right? 11 00:01:20,137 --> 00:01:21,217 Caroline? 12 00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:39,896 Idiot. You're an idiot. 13 00:01:39,897 --> 00:01:42,176 Why am I an idiot? Telling her. 14 00:01:42,177 --> 00:01:44,496 He probably wasn't even doing anything. 15 00:01:44,497 --> 00:01:46,776 He hates her. He hates Judith. 16 00:01:46,777 --> 00:01:49,337 He was probably just trying to get rid of her. 17 00:01:59,937 --> 00:02:00,977 Mum. 18 00:02:04,977 --> 00:02:06,536 I'm sorry. 19 00:02:06,537 --> 00:02:08,056 I shouldn't have said anything. 20 00:02:08,057 --> 00:02:09,975 They weren't doing anything. They were just drunk. 21 00:02:09,976 --> 00:02:11,417 He let her into the house. 22 00:02:12,937 --> 00:02:15,456 It doesn't matter whether they were doing anything or not. 23 00:02:15,457 --> 00:02:19,457 What matters is that he's shallow and weak-willed... 24 00:02:20,817 --> 00:02:23,057 and I can't trust him. 25 00:02:24,057 --> 00:02:25,297 Much as I'd like to. 26 00:02:26,937 --> 00:02:27,977 For your sake. 27 00:02:29,257 --> 00:02:31,056 My sake. 28 00:02:31,057 --> 00:02:32,497 Everyone's sake. 29 00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:46,897 Are you all right, Mum? 30 00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:50,777 Are you? 31 00:02:53,897 --> 00:02:55,257 Come on. 32 00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:12,016 I couldn't find a parking space. 33 00:03:12,017 --> 00:03:13,177 What have they said? 34 00:03:14,817 --> 00:03:18,136 Um... they're not pressing charges. It is just a caution. 35 00:03:18,137 --> 00:03:19,177 Oh. 36 00:03:20,897 --> 00:03:24,776 Here, I know it looks extravagant, the car. 37 00:03:24,777 --> 00:03:28,617 And, yeah, your mother might have liked one, but I don't know, I... 38 00:03:30,417 --> 00:03:33,097 She were never bothered about cars. 39 00:03:35,297 --> 00:03:36,337 Odd. 40 00:03:37,537 --> 00:03:42,017 That thing you said about my mother not giving you that note. 41 00:03:44,777 --> 00:03:47,536 Do you wish she had? Given it to you? 42 00:03:47,537 --> 00:03:49,776 Well, you can't think like that, can you? 43 00:03:49,777 --> 00:03:51,376 No, but do you? 44 00:03:51,377 --> 00:03:53,896 No! Course not! 45 00:03:53,897 --> 00:03:57,936 But you aren't cross with her, for not doing? 46 00:03:57,937 --> 00:03:59,097 No. 47 00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:05,496 She was a fantastic woman, my mother. 48 00:04:05,497 --> 00:04:08,216 Yeah, she were. You're right. 49 00:04:08,217 --> 00:04:10,217 I've certainly got no complaints. 50 00:04:13,417 --> 00:04:15,416 Done and dusted. 51 00:04:15,417 --> 00:04:19,016 And next time, give the weedy little twat a wide berth. 52 00:04:19,017 --> 00:04:20,737 You all right? 53 00:04:24,257 --> 00:04:25,377 What were it about? 54 00:04:27,097 --> 00:04:30,777 Gillian? You know as much as me, Robbie. 55 00:04:49,657 --> 00:04:53,056 What did he say, the inspector? Stuff. 56 00:04:53,057 --> 00:04:54,857 I'll see you back there. Right. 57 00:04:56,097 --> 00:04:58,537 And what was Paul Jaktri saying? 58 00:04:59,577 --> 00:05:00,736 Shit. 59 00:05:00,737 --> 00:05:03,137 What kind of shit? Can I go in t'Lexus with my grandad? 60 00:05:03,138 --> 00:05:05,177 What kind of shit? Grandad, can I go with you? 61 00:05:08,097 --> 00:05:10,096 You OK? I'm sorry I spoilt your party. 62 00:05:10,097 --> 00:05:11,137 Ah... 63 00:05:38,937 --> 00:05:40,217 Ah. 64 00:05:42,697 --> 00:05:44,056 I'm going to my room. 65 00:05:44,057 --> 00:05:47,216 I thought I'd better hang about. You left the door unlocked. 66 00:05:47,217 --> 00:05:49,776 I'll ring Celia, see if she's all right. 67 00:05:49,777 --> 00:05:51,256 Right. Mm. 68 00:05:51,257 --> 00:05:56,017 How... how were things at the, um... police station? 69 00:05:58,257 --> 00:06:02,096 I'd hate you and Caroline to get the wrong idea about us. 70 00:06:02,097 --> 00:06:03,736 For my dad's sake. 71 00:06:03,737 --> 00:06:07,056 This isn't how he behaves, Raffy. He's a good lad. 72 00:06:07,057 --> 00:06:08,416 I'm sure he is. 73 00:06:08,417 --> 00:06:12,736 God knows why he couldn't rise above it. He... he would do normally. 74 00:06:12,737 --> 00:06:15,136 Kids. Well, boys, anyway. 75 00:06:15,137 --> 00:06:16,816 I...I helped myself. Good. 76 00:06:16,817 --> 00:06:18,937 I hope that's... Absolutely fine. 77 00:06:21,257 --> 00:06:24,056 Sorry about... What? 78 00:06:24,057 --> 00:06:27,096 Oh, dirty linen in public. Me and Caroline. 79 00:06:27,097 --> 00:06:30,936 Hey, listen. Don't apologise to me. 80 00:06:30,937 --> 00:06:34,256 Not for anything. I don't judge people. 81 00:06:34,257 --> 00:06:37,496 Never have done. Life's too short. 82 00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:39,816 Let's be frank. 83 00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:43,097 We're none of us perfect. The ironic thing is... 84 00:06:44,297 --> 00:06:46,576 What? Oh. 85 00:06:46,577 --> 00:06:49,056 I had this... 86 00:06:49,057 --> 00:06:50,936 fling thing, 87 00:06:50,937 --> 00:06:52,976 affair-fest, 88 00:06:52,977 --> 00:06:55,736 embarrassing mistake thing with this Judith, 89 00:06:55,737 --> 00:06:58,457 four... three months ago. 90 00:06:59,417 --> 00:07:00,737 Tell me when I get boring. 91 00:07:00,738 --> 00:07:03,256 Oh, the point is she... 92 00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:07,536 I was in the house by myself. Our house, mine and Caroline's. 93 00:07:07,537 --> 00:07:10,816 And she turns up. Judith. 94 00:07:10,817 --> 00:07:14,576 And I can't get rid of her. William comes home from school early, 95 00:07:14,577 --> 00:07:16,696 because he's in the middle of his A levels. 96 00:07:16,697 --> 00:07:19,176 He assumes we're up to stuff. 97 00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:21,456 Which we're not. Absolutely not. All over. 98 00:07:21,457 --> 00:07:23,576 Thing of the past. Big, bad mistake. 99 00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:28,496 Desperately grateful to be back with glorious, snotty, mad Caroline, 100 00:07:28,497 --> 00:07:30,017 albeit in the spare bedroom. 101 00:07:31,057 --> 00:07:35,617 But now she's gone all berserk and says I'm out on my ear again. 102 00:07:37,137 --> 00:07:38,576 Shit. 103 00:07:38,577 --> 00:07:39,617 I've... 104 00:07:41,697 --> 00:07:45,216 just got to pop upstairs and see if Raffy's OK. 105 00:07:45,217 --> 00:07:47,056 Sure. 106 00:07:47,057 --> 00:07:48,977 Sure. 107 00:08:01,577 --> 00:08:02,617 Raff? 108 00:08:04,577 --> 00:08:08,176 I want to know what Paul was saying that made you so cross. 109 00:08:08,177 --> 00:08:12,296 He's an idiot. Well, I can't say I'd argue with you over that. 110 00:08:12,297 --> 00:08:14,537 And you're an idiot as well. 111 00:08:28,057 --> 00:08:30,697 How's the car? Smashing. 112 00:08:31,737 --> 00:08:34,056 You couldn't drive me to the nearest railway? 113 00:08:34,057 --> 00:08:37,336 Well, where are you heading? Well, Harrogate. 114 00:08:37,337 --> 00:08:41,016 Well, I'll drive you there. I'm off over to see Celia. She's barely seen that car. 115 00:08:41,017 --> 00:08:43,256 But it'll have to be tomorrow morning. 116 00:08:43,257 --> 00:08:45,256 I'm not setting off now! 117 00:08:45,257 --> 00:08:49,056 It's dark. Fine. Great. Is that...? 118 00:08:49,057 --> 00:08:51,457 So... so could I stay? 119 00:08:53,577 --> 00:08:55,097 Can he stay? 120 00:08:56,177 --> 00:09:00,456 Alan's very kindly offered me a lift back to Harrogate tomorrow morning. Course. 121 00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:04,976 Only I'd be grateful if you... you didn't drink any more. 122 00:09:04,977 --> 00:09:08,056 I don't want you throwing up in t'car before Celia's even sat in it. 123 00:09:08,057 --> 00:09:09,376 Celia all right? 124 00:09:09,377 --> 00:09:13,856 Well, I think she'd have liked a turn in t'car. 125 00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:18,617 Perhaps I should phone for that taxi. Don't be daft. You stay put. Oh, I'll go and put t'kettle on. 126 00:09:23,937 --> 00:09:26,176 You want to stick up for yourself more, you do. 127 00:09:26,177 --> 00:09:28,297 Me? Yeah. 128 00:09:29,697 --> 00:09:32,376 You know, if you weren't doing owt, 129 00:09:32,377 --> 00:09:36,657 if you genuinely weren't doing owt with this Judith... 130 00:09:37,857 --> 00:09:40,856 why accept being chucked out? 131 00:09:40,857 --> 00:09:43,417 And presumably half the house is yours. 132 00:10:17,577 --> 00:10:19,816 Morning, everyone! 133 00:10:19,817 --> 00:10:22,536 Daddy's back! Daddy's home! 134 00:10:22,537 --> 00:10:25,616 # Allons enfants de la Patrie 135 00:10:25,617 --> 00:10:28,376 ♪ Le jour de gloire est arrive! ♪ 136 00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:30,936 Breakfast! I'm cooking! 137 00:10:30,937 --> 00:10:33,617 Who wants pancakes? 138 00:10:52,457 --> 00:10:54,216 Morning! It's ten to eight. 139 00:10:54,217 --> 00:10:56,577 Yes, I... Sorry I'm late. 140 00:10:59,097 --> 00:11:01,497 Oh! 141 00:11:04,057 --> 00:11:08,296 'The Sunday morning service comes from the church of St James the Great...' 142 00:11:08,297 --> 00:11:09,857 Oh, piss off. 143 00:11:27,897 --> 00:11:29,696 Pa-pa-pa pom! 144 00:11:29,697 --> 00:11:31,776 Do you believe in God? 145 00:11:31,777 --> 00:11:35,376 I used to... to believe. 146 00:11:35,377 --> 00:11:37,217 Mid-to-late 1970s. 147 00:11:39,857 --> 00:11:43,336 What happened in the mid-to-late 1970s? 148 00:11:43,337 --> 00:11:45,576 I'm not sure. 149 00:11:45,577 --> 00:11:50,496 But, er... that's when we just seemed to stop going. Why? 150 00:11:50,497 --> 00:11:55,376 I think I'd like to get married in a church rather than a registry office... 151 00:11:55,377 --> 00:11:57,336 on reflection. 152 00:11:57,337 --> 00:11:59,976 Who's that making that din? Well, we can do. 153 00:11:59,977 --> 00:12:02,456 I...I don't think it's obligatory these days, 154 00:12:02,457 --> 00:12:05,697 to believe in God, just cos you want to get wed in church. 155 00:12:10,417 --> 00:12:13,656 What the hell on earth do you think you're doing?! Morning, darling. 156 00:12:13,657 --> 00:12:16,176 Don't you shitting well "darling" me! Potty mouth. 157 00:12:16,177 --> 00:12:18,496 What are you doing? Breakfast. Want some? 158 00:12:18,497 --> 00:12:20,136 Is that John? Has she let him in? 159 00:12:20,137 --> 00:12:22,216 I live here! How has he got back? 160 00:12:22,217 --> 00:12:26,456 No, you don't live here, because I chucked you out for being an arsehole! 161 00:12:26,457 --> 00:12:28,536 Yes, well... 162 00:12:28,537 --> 00:12:30,376 half this house is mine! 163 00:12:30,377 --> 00:12:32,976 I wasn't doing anything wrong! She turned up! 164 00:12:32,977 --> 00:12:35,135 William exaggerated! Get over it! Don't you touch that! 165 00:12:35,136 --> 00:12:37,017 And next time your mother slaps me, 166 00:12:37,018 --> 00:12:40,976 you tell her I will slap her right back! Harder! 167 00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:43,736 You are not making a mess in my kitchen! 168 00:12:43,737 --> 00:12:46,656 That's right! I'm making a mess in my kitchen! 169 00:12:46,657 --> 00:12:50,736 You forfeited any right to anything when you went off shagging that whore! 170 00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:53,896 Shout a little bit louder, Caroline! 171 00:12:53,897 --> 00:12:55,816 It's not funny! No. 172 00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:59,896 Morally, I can't argue with you. Legally, however, a tad more compromise! 173 00:12:59,897 --> 00:13:01,816 I do not want you here! 174 00:13:01,817 --> 00:13:05,576 Well, I don't mind you being here. It isn't like there isn't room, is it? 175 00:13:05,577 --> 00:13:07,456 So, if you can't be civil to me, 176 00:13:07,457 --> 00:13:09,856 just bugger off into another room, all right? 177 00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:12,217 Because if you're going to be difficult and unco-operative, 178 00:13:12,218 --> 00:13:15,216 I might just chuck all your things out, OK? 179 00:13:15,217 --> 00:13:16,736 What's happening? 180 00:13:16,737 --> 00:13:18,257 Nothing. 181 00:13:19,977 --> 00:13:21,976 Your father's behaving like a pig! 182 00:13:21,977 --> 00:13:23,857 Oh, damn. She's shut the window. 183 00:13:24,857 --> 00:13:28,296 You see, I'm not behaving like a pig. I'm willing to be entirely reasonable. 184 00:13:28,297 --> 00:13:31,137 You're doing breakfast, Popsicle? Yes, I am. Cool. 185 00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:45,377 It's not funny! 186 00:13:50,377 --> 00:13:52,336 Hey! 187 00:13:52,337 --> 00:13:55,217 How do you fancy driving over to Buckstones Ridge? 188 00:14:00,537 --> 00:14:03,057 Oh... 189 00:14:47,457 --> 00:14:48,657 I'm just off to work. 190 00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:52,737 Raff. 191 00:15:27,937 --> 00:15:29,056 Ah. 192 00:15:29,057 --> 00:15:31,096 What have you been saying to our Raff? 193 00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:33,256 Oh, steady on, Gillian. And going to the police? 194 00:15:33,257 --> 00:15:37,216 What kind of bloke gets beaten up by a 16-year-old and goes whining to the police? 195 00:15:37,217 --> 00:15:39,615 How about, "Thank you, Paul, for not pressing charges"? 196 00:15:39,616 --> 00:15:40,697 What did you say to him? 197 00:15:40,698 --> 00:15:43,216 "Thank you, Paul, for letting him get off with a caution." 198 00:15:43,217 --> 00:15:45,776 Nowt. I were just, like... You know. 199 00:15:45,777 --> 00:15:47,056 What? 200 00:15:47,057 --> 00:15:49,056 I were just saying what a fine woman you was. 201 00:15:49,057 --> 00:15:50,696 You idiot. Any time, love. 202 00:15:50,697 --> 00:15:52,976 Well, he didn't believe you, anyway. Ha-ha. 203 00:15:52,977 --> 00:15:54,936 Nah, he did. 204 00:15:54,937 --> 00:15:58,496 Not to start with, cheeky git. 205 00:15:58,497 --> 00:16:02,496 Not till I described the way your wallpaper's peeling off above t'window where it's damp. 206 00:16:02,497 --> 00:16:04,776 And your five million pair of shoes. 207 00:16:04,777 --> 00:16:08,456 And that photo he has by his bed of him, his Uncle Robbie and his dad. 208 00:16:08,457 --> 00:16:10,776 Yeah, yeah, I think that's when he realised 209 00:16:10,777 --> 00:16:13,216 I really had been in your upstairs. 210 00:16:13,217 --> 00:16:16,057 He went mad. Lickle bastard. 211 00:16:22,817 --> 00:16:24,497 That's... 212 00:17:28,097 --> 00:17:30,656 Hello? Gillian? 213 00:17:30,657 --> 00:17:33,656 Yeah? It's John Elliot. 214 00:17:33,657 --> 00:17:35,096 Caroline's husband. 215 00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:37,096 Oh. 216 00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:40,416 John. 217 00:17:40,417 --> 00:17:42,016 Hello. 218 00:17:42,017 --> 00:17:45,216 I'm just ringing to say thank you for putting me up last night. 219 00:17:45,217 --> 00:17:46,576 Oh, that's... 220 00:17:46,577 --> 00:17:50,296 I stuck up for myself, and, er... well, she didn't like it. 221 00:17:50,297 --> 00:17:52,176 Not surprisingly. 222 00:17:52,177 --> 00:17:54,016 But I did it. 223 00:17:54,017 --> 00:17:57,216 He's talking to someone. 224 00:17:57,217 --> 00:18:00,296 'Who?' I've got no idea. He's smirking. 225 00:18:00,297 --> 00:18:02,416 It's probably her, Judith. 226 00:18:02,417 --> 00:18:06,256 Well, I've no idea, Caroline. I'm sorry I upset you. 227 00:18:06,257 --> 00:18:10,177 I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. You were right. He's an absolute... 228 00:18:11,457 --> 00:18:14,096 jerk. I've spent the best years of my life 229 00:18:14,097 --> 00:18:17,176 married to an unreliable, shallow-minded... 230 00:18:17,177 --> 00:18:19,137 self-centred... 231 00:18:20,377 --> 00:18:21,977 jerk. 232 00:18:24,017 --> 00:18:25,056 Yes. 233 00:18:25,057 --> 00:18:27,136 What am I going to do? 234 00:18:27,137 --> 00:18:29,577 Divorce him, and not just talk about it this time. 235 00:18:29,578 --> 00:18:32,136 Sell the house, split everything. Start again. 236 00:18:32,137 --> 00:18:34,696 I can't sell this house! 'Why?' 237 00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:39,016 Because I... I've put so much into it. I've worked so hard for it. 238 00:18:39,017 --> 00:18:41,896 It's perfect. I don't want to sell... 239 00:18:41,897 --> 00:18:43,857 Anyway, I can't, because my mother... 240 00:18:43,858 --> 00:18:47,976 Actually, my mother's probably going to move out, because she's getting married. 241 00:18:47,977 --> 00:18:50,096 Your mother? Yes. 242 00:18:50,097 --> 00:18:53,256 Your mother is getting married? Who to? 243 00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:55,297 Oh, it's just... 244 00:18:57,657 --> 00:18:58,697 How sweet. 245 00:19:04,257 --> 00:19:05,857 Would you like me to come round? 246 00:19:06,857 --> 00:19:10,497 'Would you like to go for a walk? Would you like to do something?' 247 00:19:12,177 --> 00:19:14,337 Me going on about stuff a bit too much, probably... 248 00:19:16,217 --> 00:19:19,497 That's such a beautiful part of the world that you live in. 249 00:19:21,257 --> 00:19:22,976 John? John, John. 250 00:19:22,977 --> 00:19:25,337 I'm... I'm sorry. I've got to go, cos I'm at work. 251 00:19:25,338 --> 00:19:27,616 Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, no... no problem. 252 00:19:27,617 --> 00:19:29,256 Ta-ta, then. Me waxing lyrical. 253 00:19:29,257 --> 00:19:31,216 Yeah. Aw. Bye! 254 00:19:31,217 --> 00:19:34,416 Probably see you again some time anyway. Yeah, yep. 255 00:19:34,417 --> 00:19:36,577 Bye. Bye-bye. Bye. 256 00:19:41,937 --> 00:19:44,777 Sweet exotic creature. 257 00:19:56,817 --> 00:19:58,257 'So, 2 o'clock, then?' 258 00:20:00,977 --> 00:20:02,816 Jesus Christ. 259 00:20:02,817 --> 00:20:06,296 He's lit a cigarette. 'Is that very...' 260 00:20:06,297 --> 00:20:08,336 How bad is that? 261 00:20:08,337 --> 00:20:09,617 We don't smoke. 262 00:20:09,618 --> 00:20:11,616 Oh. Ah. 263 00:20:11,617 --> 00:20:15,176 And he's drinking whisky at quarter-past 11 in the morning. 264 00:20:15,177 --> 00:20:17,776 And he's listening to the... bloody Archers! 265 00:20:17,777 --> 00:20:18,817 I've got to go. 266 00:20:19,937 --> 00:20:22,057 Right, well, I'll see you at... 267 00:20:38,977 --> 00:20:41,536 You silly bitch! 268 00:20:41,537 --> 00:20:44,496 What kind of example do you think you set these boys, hm? 269 00:20:44,497 --> 00:20:49,176 Smoking! And drinking and fornicating! 270 00:20:49,177 --> 00:20:53,256 And wallowing there like some... self-indulgent tosser! 271 00:20:53,257 --> 00:20:56,096 How dare you do that? I do not want you here! 272 00:20:56,097 --> 00:21:01,776 Well, bad luck. I live here, and if I want to smoke and bring women here, then I'll bring them! 273 00:21:01,777 --> 00:21:03,976 But I don't want to bring women here! 274 00:21:03,977 --> 00:21:06,776 Because I want our marriage to work! 275 00:21:06,777 --> 00:21:09,576 You mad cow! This marriage is over! 276 00:21:09,577 --> 00:21:13,456 It is dead! It is redundant! It... it never was! 277 00:21:13,457 --> 00:21:16,136 And I do not want to waste another second of my life 278 00:21:16,137 --> 00:21:18,457 pretending it's something worth saving! 279 00:21:21,497 --> 00:21:24,696 # The static from your arms 280 00:21:24,697 --> 00:21:28,056 # It is a catalyst 281 00:21:28,057 --> 00:21:31,536 # You're a chemical that burns 282 00:21:31,537 --> 00:21:35,177 ♪ There is nothing like this. ♪ 283 00:21:36,377 --> 00:21:38,976 If anybody had told me a few weeks ago 284 00:21:38,977 --> 00:21:42,096 that I'd be sitting up at Buckstones Ridge, 285 00:21:42,097 --> 00:21:46,096 holding hands with a man who isn't my husband, 286 00:21:46,097 --> 00:21:48,856 and who's just driven me here in his Lexus, 287 00:21:48,857 --> 00:21:51,776 I'd have thought they were pulling my leg. 288 00:21:51,777 --> 00:21:54,016 Not that I'd have ever sat anywhere 289 00:21:54,017 --> 00:21:56,577 holding hands with a man who was my husband. 290 00:21:57,657 --> 00:22:00,656 Kenneth wasn't the hand-holding sort. 291 00:22:00,657 --> 00:22:04,216 I mean, even before the trouble, 292 00:22:04,217 --> 00:22:08,376 I don't think he'd a romantic bone in his body. 293 00:22:08,377 --> 00:22:11,936 And then after, when I'd found out what a randy sod he'd been, well... 294 00:22:11,937 --> 00:22:17,177 that put the tin lid on any sort of... Anything resembling romantic. 295 00:22:18,857 --> 00:22:22,456 I mean, I stopped going anywhere with him socially. 296 00:22:22,457 --> 00:22:25,057 I mean, he didn't know who knew and who didn't. 297 00:22:26,497 --> 00:22:30,496 And I work on the principle it's always wise to assume the worst. 298 00:22:30,497 --> 00:22:32,616 I mean, it's not nice, is it? 299 00:22:32,617 --> 00:22:36,136 Folk nudging each other, going, "Ooh, that's her 300 00:22:36,137 --> 00:22:40,336 "whose husband's at it with all and sundry behind her back. 301 00:22:40,337 --> 00:22:42,696 "I wonder if she knows, poor bitch. 302 00:22:42,697 --> 00:22:46,457 "I wonder what she's not doing that's making him look elsewhere." 303 00:22:47,977 --> 00:22:49,857 So, you stop in. You don't go out. 304 00:22:53,017 --> 00:22:54,657 And your world gets smaller. 305 00:22:56,737 --> 00:22:58,337 I should have divorced him. 306 00:22:59,577 --> 00:23:01,696 But it's easy to say, with a child to bring up 307 00:23:01,697 --> 00:23:05,096 and no money of your own. And you see, I'd not worked. 308 00:23:05,097 --> 00:23:06,856 I had no career. 309 00:23:06,857 --> 00:23:09,896 I'd given up my job when Caroline was born. 310 00:23:09,897 --> 00:23:11,897 Women did in them days. 311 00:23:14,617 --> 00:23:16,657 Could have killed him one time. 312 00:23:18,057 --> 00:23:19,937 I mean, literally, I could have! 313 00:23:21,857 --> 00:23:23,936 He was decorating the kitchen. 314 00:23:23,937 --> 00:23:26,937 Painting the ceiling up a little stepladder. 315 00:23:28,577 --> 00:23:30,977 He was hopeless at anything to do with DIY. 316 00:23:32,977 --> 00:23:35,257 Anyway, he slipped and banged his head. 317 00:23:36,817 --> 00:23:41,576 He must have been out for... oh, well, no more than a second or two. 318 00:23:41,577 --> 00:23:43,376 But of course, I panicked. 319 00:23:43,377 --> 00:23:45,457 Till he came to. 320 00:23:46,457 --> 00:23:49,217 It was only afterwards I realised I'd been slow. 321 00:23:50,617 --> 00:23:54,136 And I decided if it ever happened again I'd slip a cushion over his face 322 00:23:54,137 --> 00:23:55,937 and suffocate him. 323 00:24:02,097 --> 00:24:03,496 Have I shocked you? 324 00:24:03,497 --> 00:24:05,457 No. 325 00:24:07,497 --> 00:24:09,496 Oh, God. 326 00:24:09,497 --> 00:24:11,696 I'm sorry I go on about him. 327 00:24:11,697 --> 00:24:17,057 No, no, no, no. I'm just sorry you... you had it to go through. 328 00:24:18,577 --> 00:24:22,737 I'm only telling you this so you know what sort of a woman you're marrying. 329 00:24:24,297 --> 00:24:27,017 Do you fancy a pint in a pub? 330 00:24:28,697 --> 00:24:30,217 I was thinking... Oh, aye? 331 00:24:31,777 --> 00:24:34,097 Why don't you stop tonight in Harrogate? 332 00:24:35,897 --> 00:24:38,816 Oh, I don't mean anything untoward. 333 00:24:38,817 --> 00:24:40,057 I've got a spare room. 334 00:24:40,058 --> 00:24:46,136 Only it's going to be a long haul for you otherwise, taking me back to Harrogate 335 00:24:46,137 --> 00:24:48,136 then setting off to Halifax. 336 00:24:48,137 --> 00:24:50,897 And you were up at the crack of dawn this morning. 337 00:24:53,697 --> 00:24:55,657 I'd have to buy a toothbrush. 338 00:25:11,217 --> 00:25:12,817 Raff? 339 00:25:16,337 --> 00:25:17,777 Raffy? 340 00:25:38,777 --> 00:25:41,376 Answer it. 341 00:25:41,377 --> 00:25:44,736 'I can't take your call. Leave a message and I'll ring you back.' 342 00:25:44,737 --> 00:25:46,576 Raff, it's me. 343 00:25:46,577 --> 00:25:49,896 Where are you? Just ring me or... or text me. 344 00:25:49,897 --> 00:25:51,337 I...I need to know where you are. 345 00:25:53,257 --> 00:25:56,496 I'm sorry if I've upset you. I know I've upset you. 346 00:25:56,497 --> 00:25:58,777 But I need to know that you're all right. 347 00:26:16,817 --> 00:26:19,177 Oh, shit. 348 00:26:29,017 --> 00:26:30,816 Gillian? Is Raff with you? 349 00:26:30,817 --> 00:26:32,456 He is, yeah. 350 00:26:32,457 --> 00:26:35,656 Is he all right? 351 00:26:35,657 --> 00:26:37,417 Yeah, he's absolutely fine. 352 00:26:40,977 --> 00:26:42,496 What's he said? Nothing. 353 00:26:42,497 --> 00:26:46,096 Well, can I talk to him? He's a bit busy at the minute. He's on the Xbox. 354 00:26:46,097 --> 00:26:47,896 Yeah? Well, get him off the f... 355 00:26:47,897 --> 00:26:52,136 And to be frank I don't think he'd want to talk with you. I don't know what's happened, 356 00:26:52,137 --> 00:26:55,096 other than him fighting with that dickhead, but I assume something has. 357 00:26:55,097 --> 00:26:58,496 I assume that he's finally seen the light and worked out what a mad bitch you are, 358 00:26:58,497 --> 00:27:02,616 so you know, if he wants to move in here, that's fine by me. 359 00:27:02,617 --> 00:27:07,056 I'm not keeping him here by force. Don't you dare fill his head with rubbish about me. 360 00:27:07,057 --> 00:27:10,417 Will that be everything, then? You just tell him to ring me! 361 00:27:44,537 --> 00:27:46,136 Hello? John? 362 00:27:46,137 --> 00:27:47,297 Yeah? It's Gillian. 363 00:27:48,657 --> 00:27:49,897 Alan's daughter. 364 00:27:52,217 --> 00:27:53,536 Gillian. 365 00:27:53,537 --> 00:27:56,496 Sorry I had to ring off this morning. 366 00:27:56,497 --> 00:27:58,976 Only the boss were breathing down my neck and... 367 00:27:58,977 --> 00:28:01,496 No, no, that's... I thought nothing of it. 368 00:28:01,497 --> 00:28:02,696 Good, good. 369 00:28:02,697 --> 00:28:04,817 Good. So, how's things progressing? 370 00:28:07,457 --> 00:28:10,936 Oh, she's having a little coven in the garden 371 00:28:10,937 --> 00:28:13,017 with some insipid little witch that she works with. 372 00:28:13,018 --> 00:28:14,776 Nice. 373 00:28:14,777 --> 00:28:19,416 Lawrence says she's a lesbian. God knows why Caroline's invited her here. 374 00:28:19,417 --> 00:28:21,296 You know what you said last night 375 00:28:21,297 --> 00:28:24,977 about you having this affair with this... 376 00:28:26,217 --> 00:28:27,257 Judith? 377 00:28:29,577 --> 00:28:32,417 Yeah? Well... 378 00:28:35,857 --> 00:28:37,697 I did something similar and... 379 00:28:38,857 --> 00:28:40,937 You did? Yeah, a... 380 00:28:42,297 --> 00:28:43,737 stupid, stupid thing. 381 00:28:46,417 --> 00:28:49,976 And Raff's found out, and that's what that fight was about, 382 00:28:49,977 --> 00:28:51,776 and he's gone to live with Robbie. 383 00:28:51,777 --> 00:28:55,056 That's his uncle, the policeman. 384 00:28:55,057 --> 00:28:57,417 And he's a right bastard and... 385 00:29:00,777 --> 00:29:02,296 Bollocks! 386 00:29:02,297 --> 00:29:05,136 It was exactly the same when me and Richard got divorced. 387 00:29:05,137 --> 00:29:07,217 Neither of us could afford to buy the other one out 388 00:29:07,218 --> 00:29:09,616 so we had to sell up, split everything. 389 00:29:09,617 --> 00:29:13,496 Right down the middle. Beautiful house we had. 390 00:29:13,497 --> 00:29:15,656 It was heartbreaking. 391 00:29:15,657 --> 00:29:18,336 But you find a way forward. 392 00:29:18,337 --> 00:29:20,897 I'm going to have to get proper legal advice. 393 00:29:22,457 --> 00:29:24,977 Yes, obviously. I don't know what I'm talking about. 394 00:29:26,857 --> 00:29:31,096 Don't you? I was being sarcastic. I just said I've been through exactly the same thing, 395 00:29:31,097 --> 00:29:34,777 but, yes, you should get proper legal advice. Why are you being so snippy? Why? 396 00:29:36,497 --> 00:29:37,537 What? 397 00:29:41,657 --> 00:29:44,897 My dad's got Alzheimer's. Did you know that? 398 00:29:46,297 --> 00:29:47,736 God, I'm so sorry. 399 00:29:47,737 --> 00:29:51,537 There's a million and one things you don't know about me, Caroline... 400 00:29:52,617 --> 00:29:55,896 cos you never ask, and I try not to inflict things on people 401 00:29:55,897 --> 00:29:57,976 unless I think they're actually interested, 402 00:29:57,977 --> 00:30:00,137 but I've never really had the impression that you were, 403 00:30:00,138 --> 00:30:02,656 but you just take it for granted that I'll be interested in you. 404 00:30:02,657 --> 00:30:04,976 Don't you? You offered to come round. 405 00:30:04,977 --> 00:30:07,776 Mm, but you rang me up. 406 00:30:07,777 --> 00:30:10,136 After you'd dumped me. Shh. 407 00:30:10,137 --> 00:30:14,016 You rang me up expecting me to be sympathetic, which I am. 408 00:30:14,017 --> 00:30:17,176 Not that it'll do me any good. And then you're like a man. 409 00:30:17,177 --> 00:30:20,136 You just make this decision that I haven't got a clue 410 00:30:20,137 --> 00:30:22,617 what I'm talking about even though I've been through it. 411 00:30:22,618 --> 00:30:26,656 I think you're overreacting. You're reading things... And then having a go at me last week 412 00:30:26,657 --> 00:30:29,736 for talking to someone when I was upset about what had happened. 413 00:30:29,737 --> 00:30:32,376 Someone who was sympathetic and interested. 414 00:30:32,377 --> 00:30:35,096 Michael bloody Dobson? He tried to blackmail me. 415 00:30:35,097 --> 00:30:37,777 He didn't. You'd better go. 416 00:30:40,177 --> 00:30:41,377 Am I being dismissed? 417 00:30:41,378 --> 00:30:43,937 I shouldn't have rang you up. I'm sorry I did. 418 00:30:46,097 --> 00:30:47,377 Don't say that. 419 00:30:49,377 --> 00:30:51,097 I just want you to understand... 420 00:30:53,857 --> 00:30:58,577 the effect you have on me. 421 00:31:01,137 --> 00:31:05,256 If you ring me, I'll run round here, even though I know you're not really interested in me. 422 00:31:05,257 --> 00:31:10,737 I'm not... not interested in you. 423 00:31:12,497 --> 00:31:13,537 I'm... 424 00:31:16,177 --> 00:31:17,697 I don't know what I am. I... 425 00:31:19,577 --> 00:31:22,736 You're right, I've never asked you anything about you, 426 00:31:22,737 --> 00:31:24,776 and it's not because I don't... 427 00:31:24,777 --> 00:31:28,177 It's because I'm selfish and hopeless... 428 00:31:29,617 --> 00:31:33,216 and you've been a really good friend, and I don't know how to be a good friend. 429 00:31:33,217 --> 00:31:35,337 To anyone. 430 00:31:37,817 --> 00:31:39,816 My parents never got on. 431 00:31:39,817 --> 00:31:42,936 I grew up in a house on my own with these people 432 00:31:42,937 --> 00:31:45,696 who never spoke to each other unless they had to, 433 00:31:45,697 --> 00:31:47,576 and I thought that was normal. 434 00:31:47,577 --> 00:31:50,536 And now she's met this bloke, this Alan, and he's a sweet man, 435 00:31:50,537 --> 00:31:53,216 and he thinks the world of her, and she thinks the world of him, 436 00:31:53,217 --> 00:31:55,297 and she's so different! 437 00:31:57,657 --> 00:32:01,016 And I can't help wondering if she'd been in love with my dad 438 00:32:01,017 --> 00:32:03,257 and he'd been in love with her... 439 00:32:04,617 --> 00:32:06,937 how different things would have been. 440 00:32:08,497 --> 00:32:11,696 I don't know what normal relationships are like. 441 00:32:11,697 --> 00:32:14,777 I see them, but I don't know how to do them. 442 00:32:16,657 --> 00:32:18,616 So I'm sorry. 443 00:32:18,617 --> 00:32:23,017 I'm sorry if I've hurt you or taken you for granted. 444 00:32:24,377 --> 00:32:27,296 I will endeavour not to do that... 445 00:32:27,297 --> 00:32:29,097 in the future. 446 00:32:32,177 --> 00:32:34,577 Because I do value your friendship and... 447 00:32:36,737 --> 00:32:40,377 I'm sorry if I've never said or made that clear or done what... 448 00:32:42,257 --> 00:32:45,297 normal people do to express these things. 449 00:32:47,737 --> 00:32:48,777 So, I'm sorry. 450 00:32:51,177 --> 00:32:52,217 Thank you. 451 00:32:57,777 --> 00:33:01,496 I think you've got to give yourself a break, Gillian, I really do. 452 00:33:01,497 --> 00:33:03,816 He's 16 years old. Give him a week. 453 00:33:03,817 --> 00:33:06,336 Give him a week with Robbie's microwave cooking. 454 00:33:06,337 --> 00:33:09,976 Give Robbie a week with a bloody teenager in the house. You're right. 455 00:33:09,977 --> 00:33:13,176 You know where he is. You know he's safe. OK, he's had a shock. 456 00:33:13,177 --> 00:33:16,096 He's found out his mother has sex. Get over it. 457 00:33:16,097 --> 00:33:18,216 I know, I know. It's just life, you know? 458 00:33:18,217 --> 00:33:20,656 And he has to realise that you have... 459 00:33:20,657 --> 00:33:22,936 you know, just like everyone else does, 460 00:33:22,937 --> 00:33:24,856 urges, feelings, 461 00:33:24,857 --> 00:33:26,537 and when he's an adult, he'll get it. 462 00:33:26,538 --> 00:33:29,336 He will not look back on you and make judgments. 463 00:33:29,337 --> 00:33:33,216 He just needs a little bit of time. Step back from it, Gillian. 464 00:33:33,217 --> 00:33:34,736 I know it's not easy. 465 00:33:34,737 --> 00:33:36,496 He's your boy, but, 466 00:33:36,497 --> 00:33:37,937 if you can... Yeah, yeah. 467 00:33:41,577 --> 00:33:43,656 Yeah, you're right, you're right. 468 00:33:43,657 --> 00:33:45,697 Oh, kids. 469 00:33:50,017 --> 00:33:52,457 Gosh. 470 00:33:53,657 --> 00:33:55,457 So, how's things in the garden? 471 00:33:58,017 --> 00:34:00,377 Oh, much the same. 472 00:34:55,497 --> 00:34:56,897 Oh, God! 473 00:34:58,817 --> 00:35:00,897 Paul. Jesus. 474 00:35:04,057 --> 00:35:06,497 What's happened? Paul? What? 475 00:35:08,337 --> 00:35:09,776 Who did this? 476 00:35:09,777 --> 00:35:13,256 Who did it? Was it Raff? 477 00:35:13,257 --> 00:35:15,297 Robbie? 478 00:35:17,217 --> 00:35:19,697 OK. Come on. 479 00:35:20,817 --> 00:35:22,057 Let's get you inside. 480 00:35:47,497 --> 00:35:49,577 I think we should get you up to the Princess Royal. 481 00:35:49,578 --> 00:35:51,257 I'll be all right. 482 00:35:56,417 --> 00:35:57,497 What happened? 483 00:36:04,297 --> 00:36:05,337 Darren and Gavin. 484 00:36:07,977 --> 00:36:10,177 Hayley's brothers found out I'd been at it with you 485 00:36:10,178 --> 00:36:13,217 so them and a couple of big bastards laid into me. 486 00:36:16,817 --> 00:36:19,297 So, I... I guess the engagement's off, eh?! 487 00:36:20,377 --> 00:36:22,937 You dirty sod. 488 00:36:27,337 --> 00:36:30,977 They said they was going to pour petrol over me and set me on fire. 489 00:36:33,057 --> 00:36:35,657 I believed them. 490 00:36:50,537 --> 00:36:53,017 Let Granny in. 491 00:36:56,377 --> 00:36:57,857 Thanks. 492 00:37:00,137 --> 00:37:03,136 Morning! Hi. 493 00:37:03,137 --> 00:37:06,056 Just to let you know... Oh, you're very smart. 494 00:37:06,057 --> 00:37:08,136 Me and Alan are popping over to Halifax 495 00:37:08,137 --> 00:37:10,736 to look at possible venues for the wedding. 496 00:37:10,737 --> 00:37:14,856 So I won't be here this evening. I'll be stopping over at Gillian's with Alan. 497 00:37:14,857 --> 00:37:16,216 Right. 498 00:37:16,217 --> 00:37:19,536 I'm sorry to pop over so early but you'll be going to work so... 499 00:37:19,537 --> 00:37:22,136 Brush your teeth. Where are my shoes? 500 00:37:22,137 --> 00:37:24,256 Wherever you left them. 501 00:37:24,257 --> 00:37:27,897 He's very nervous. He's got his first English paper. 502 00:37:29,337 --> 00:37:31,736 He stopped over last night, Alan. 503 00:37:31,737 --> 00:37:34,937 Yes, I assumed. I, um... saw the car. 504 00:37:36,377 --> 00:37:39,176 He was going to sleep in the spare bedroom but... 505 00:37:39,177 --> 00:37:42,176 I don't know, one thing led to another, 506 00:37:42,177 --> 00:37:46,376 and I've got a double bed and we are getting married so... 507 00:37:46,377 --> 00:37:48,737 we shared the same bed. 508 00:37:50,217 --> 00:37:51,457 OK. 509 00:37:53,657 --> 00:37:56,496 I don't know what people'll think. 510 00:37:56,497 --> 00:37:59,656 Well, good for you. I just thought, "What the hell?" 511 00:37:59,657 --> 00:38:01,656 What people? 512 00:38:01,657 --> 00:38:04,297 I don't care. Anyone. 513 00:38:05,497 --> 00:38:07,456 Right. 514 00:38:07,457 --> 00:38:11,376 As I say, it's not as though we're not getting married, cos we are, so... 515 00:38:11,377 --> 00:38:13,256 So? 516 00:38:13,257 --> 00:38:15,656 You don't mind? Me? No. 517 00:38:15,657 --> 00:38:16,697 No, of course not. 518 00:38:18,657 --> 00:38:21,657 So... It's great. 519 00:38:25,897 --> 00:38:28,536 I'm talking about sex. Yes, I realise that. 520 00:38:28,537 --> 00:38:30,416 It was marvellous. 521 00:38:30,417 --> 00:38:31,657 I'd forgotten. 522 00:38:34,617 --> 00:38:37,496 I can be quite a romantic, when push comes to shove, 523 00:38:37,497 --> 00:38:41,256 not that your dad ever appreciated that. Oh, can you not just...? 524 00:38:41,257 --> 00:38:44,656 What? Well, it's... Oh. Have I embarrassed you? 525 00:38:44,657 --> 00:38:47,056 I don't need to know. It's fine, it's fine. 526 00:38:47,057 --> 00:38:51,136 Whatever you do, it's fine, it's good. You're adults. It's... 527 00:38:51,137 --> 00:38:53,057 I thought you might be happy for me. 528 00:38:53,058 --> 00:38:56,336 I am. I am! 529 00:38:56,337 --> 00:38:57,936 I love you, you know. 530 00:38:57,937 --> 00:38:59,577 I know you do. 531 00:39:25,737 --> 00:39:28,496 I can't get through to our Gillian. 532 00:39:28,497 --> 00:39:32,017 She's not answering her mobile or anything. 533 00:39:33,337 --> 00:39:34,937 Can I get you some more tea? 534 00:39:36,497 --> 00:39:38,616 No, no. No, no, I'm fine. 535 00:39:38,617 --> 00:39:41,777 Another egg? No, thanks. 536 00:39:48,137 --> 00:39:50,016 Sorry, what did you say? 537 00:39:50,017 --> 00:39:52,137 Something about Gillian? 538 00:40:25,617 --> 00:40:27,257 Right, where to? 539 00:40:29,337 --> 00:40:31,096 I can't go home. 540 00:40:31,097 --> 00:40:35,497 My dad's chucked me out and my mam says she never wants to clap eyes on me again. 541 00:40:44,977 --> 00:40:46,417 I'm not giving you Raffy's room. 542 00:42:11,977 --> 00:42:13,616 Hello? 543 00:42:13,617 --> 00:42:17,256 John? It's Judith. What do you want? 544 00:42:17,257 --> 00:42:19,296 Er... I, um... 545 00:42:19,297 --> 00:42:21,217 You shouldn't ring this number. What if Caroline had answered it? 546 00:42:21,218 --> 00:42:22,736 Isn't she at work? 547 00:42:22,737 --> 00:42:23,977 What do you want? 548 00:42:23,978 --> 00:42:27,056 You couldn't lend me some money, could you? 549 00:42:27,057 --> 00:42:31,696 It's just that the landlord's getting... unpleasant with me 550 00:42:31,697 --> 00:42:33,816 about the rent arrears and... 551 00:42:33,817 --> 00:42:35,696 You get benefits for that. 552 00:42:35,697 --> 00:42:38,056 Yeah, yeah. 553 00:42:38,057 --> 00:42:40,816 The thing is... 554 00:42:40,817 --> 00:42:44,176 I've spent it. Oh, Jesus. 555 00:42:44,177 --> 00:42:47,417 And you don't want me turning up on your doorstep, do you? 556 00:42:51,337 --> 00:42:53,856 I must have spent hours in here when I was a kid. 557 00:42:53,857 --> 00:42:55,296 Yeah, so did I. 558 00:42:55,297 --> 00:42:58,256 I always tried to, er... wangle it 559 00:42:58,257 --> 00:43:03,536 so that we'd sit somewhere where I could gaze at you. 560 00:43:03,537 --> 00:43:06,176 You didn't? You daft article. 561 00:43:06,177 --> 00:43:08,497 You were the only thing that made it bearable. 562 00:43:09,617 --> 00:43:12,016 I hated it, church. 563 00:43:12,017 --> 00:43:15,497 I used to get so bored and miserable. 564 00:43:16,857 --> 00:43:17,897 Yeah, well. 565 00:43:19,137 --> 00:43:23,216 Mind you, it's better than all this happy-clappy stuff they have now. 566 00:43:23,217 --> 00:43:27,096 Mm? Do you want a mint? Is it? Why? At least with the happy-clappy stuff, 567 00:43:27,097 --> 00:43:29,456 people actually look like they want to be there. 568 00:43:29,457 --> 00:43:31,816 Well, it's not proper, is it? 569 00:43:31,817 --> 00:43:34,256 They have pop songs at funerals now. 570 00:43:34,257 --> 00:43:35,937 Yeah? So what? 571 00:43:37,217 --> 00:43:39,056 Pop songs at funerals? 572 00:43:39,057 --> 00:43:42,896 Religion when we were kids was all about control. 573 00:43:42,897 --> 00:43:46,696 It was about the ruling classes being hand in glove with the Church 574 00:43:46,697 --> 00:43:51,497 to keep the ordinary hard-working people terrified of having a mind of their own. 575 00:43:52,577 --> 00:43:53,977 Was it hell?! No, it was. 576 00:43:53,978 --> 00:43:56,137 You think about it. 577 00:43:57,937 --> 00:43:59,696 I won't get into a debate. 578 00:43:59,697 --> 00:44:02,656 Why shouldn't you have a pop song at a funeral 579 00:44:02,657 --> 00:44:07,736 if it's something that you've liked, something that's meant something to you? 580 00:44:07,737 --> 00:44:11,017 Pop songs are for... for discos and pubs and social clubs. 581 00:44:13,857 --> 00:44:15,736 In church you sing hymns. 582 00:44:15,737 --> 00:44:17,056 Pop songs at funerals 583 00:44:17,057 --> 00:44:22,296 are about ordinary folk celebrating whatever, in their own way, 584 00:44:22,297 --> 00:44:26,456 not accepting what's inflicted on them by people in high places, 585 00:44:26,457 --> 00:44:29,697 who just want to keep everybody frightened and miserable. 586 00:44:30,697 --> 00:44:34,336 Well... 587 00:44:34,337 --> 00:44:38,857 some people need people in high places to tell them what's what now and again. 588 00:44:40,857 --> 00:44:44,337 You're going to tell me next you voted for Margaret Thatcher. 589 00:44:45,337 --> 00:44:48,896 Well, you can't have liked Michael Foot? 590 00:44:48,897 --> 00:44:50,617 In his anorak at the Cenotaph? 591 00:44:52,097 --> 00:44:54,496 A very intelligent man, Michael Foot. 592 00:44:54,497 --> 00:44:56,496 Oh, he can't have been that intelligent 593 00:44:56,497 --> 00:44:59,936 or he wouldn't have gone around looking like a scarecrow. 594 00:44:59,937 --> 00:45:01,937 I didn't dislike Tony Blair... Oh! 595 00:45:03,457 --> 00:45:05,656 Until he muckied his ticket in Iraq. 596 00:45:05,657 --> 00:45:09,816 Now, Gordon Brown, there's a much-maligned man. 597 00:45:09,817 --> 00:45:12,416 Gordon Brown? Mm. 598 00:45:12,417 --> 00:45:16,416 Trying to get everybody to like him, with his phoney grin? 599 00:45:16,417 --> 00:45:18,456 And he's Scottish. 600 00:45:18,457 --> 00:45:21,016 Now, there's an unassailable political argument! 601 00:45:21,017 --> 00:45:23,896 Well, it hardly needs pointing out he buggered up the economy. 602 00:45:23,897 --> 00:45:25,336 No, he didn't. 603 00:45:25,337 --> 00:45:27,976 He did not. He had vision. 604 00:45:27,977 --> 00:45:31,176 Oh, God. I can see this is a subject we're going to have to avoid. 605 00:45:31,177 --> 00:45:34,496 No, don't worry, I'll teach you. You damn well won't. 606 00:45:34,497 --> 00:45:36,417 Yeah, we'll buy you a copy of the Guardian. 607 00:45:36,418 --> 00:45:39,176 You can keep your Guardian. 608 00:45:39,177 --> 00:45:42,976 I thought I spotted a Daily Mail lurking in your recycling bin. 609 00:45:42,977 --> 00:45:45,816 What's wrong with the Daily Mail? What's wrong with it? 610 00:45:45,817 --> 00:45:47,496 What's right with it? 611 00:45:47,497 --> 00:45:51,216 Do you know, I'd never have had you down for red-hot Labour. 612 00:45:51,217 --> 00:45:54,456 I thought you had more about you. 613 00:45:54,457 --> 00:45:57,656 Do you know, the good thing about David Cameron 614 00:45:57,657 --> 00:46:00,736 is that even he knows he's an arse! 615 00:46:00,737 --> 00:46:03,576 No, every time he opens his mouth, you can see him thinking, 616 00:46:03,577 --> 00:46:08,496 "I was born an arse, I'll die an arse, but at least I know I'm an arse." 617 00:46:08,497 --> 00:46:12,536 You've suddenly got very coarse, Mr Buttershaw. 618 00:46:12,537 --> 00:46:16,976 So, what will you be walking down the aisle to, then? Mm? 619 00:46:16,977 --> 00:46:20,177 Jerusalem? Rule Britannia? 620 00:46:22,177 --> 00:46:23,977 The Arrival Of The Queen Of Sheba. 621 00:46:27,297 --> 00:46:28,337 What? 622 00:46:30,097 --> 00:46:31,137 What? 623 00:46:32,857 --> 00:46:34,736 No, no, that's... 624 00:46:34,737 --> 00:46:36,856 What?! 625 00:46:36,857 --> 00:46:38,257 It's very appropriate! 626 00:46:40,817 --> 00:46:42,817 Mm, I'd turn up for that. 627 00:46:43,817 --> 00:46:48,696 I can see how I'm going to have to re-educate you, Alan Buttershaw. 628 00:46:48,697 --> 00:46:52,496 Does that mean I get to choose the music we walk out to? 629 00:46:52,497 --> 00:46:54,096 Hell, no. 630 00:46:54,097 --> 00:46:55,816 It's become screamingly obvious 631 00:46:55,817 --> 00:46:58,497 I can't trust you any further than I could chuck you. 632 00:47:00,777 --> 00:47:02,736 Hey. 633 00:47:02,737 --> 00:47:06,016 I forgot we're in church. We've been swearing like troopers. 634 00:47:06,017 --> 00:47:08,497 Well, we'd better find t'vicar, then. 635 00:47:09,937 --> 00:47:11,536 If this is what you want. 636 00:47:11,537 --> 00:47:15,016 Well, not if you think I'm oppressing the masses. 637 00:47:15,017 --> 00:47:18,656 Oh, it'll be worth oppressing the masses for half an hour or so 638 00:47:18,657 --> 00:47:21,857 to see you arriving like the Queen of Sheba. 639 00:47:25,657 --> 00:47:27,616 I hope it isn't a woman. 640 00:47:27,617 --> 00:47:29,176 Who? 641 00:47:29,177 --> 00:47:31,217 The vicar. 642 00:47:36,537 --> 00:47:40,297 If you're insisting on a Saturday slot, you're looking at four... 643 00:47:42,937 --> 00:47:44,097 five months away. 644 00:47:46,937 --> 00:47:49,057 I think sooner rather than later. Mm. 645 00:47:52,017 --> 00:47:53,417 Are either of you divorced? 646 00:47:53,418 --> 00:47:54,457 No. No, no. 647 00:47:55,857 --> 00:47:57,137 Widowed. 648 00:47:58,617 --> 00:48:01,497 And you're both regular churchgoers, obviously? 649 00:48:04,177 --> 00:48:05,897 Well, we have been in the past. 650 00:48:08,337 --> 00:48:09,377 Hm. 651 00:48:10,977 --> 00:48:14,136 So, you're not regular churchgoers now? 652 00:48:14,137 --> 00:48:15,977 Not... No. 653 00:48:17,057 --> 00:48:19,497 When did you last go to church? 654 00:48:20,777 --> 00:48:22,137 Er... Christmas? 655 00:48:23,177 --> 00:48:25,136 19...oh, er... 656 00:48:25,137 --> 00:48:26,617 77? 657 00:48:27,697 --> 00:48:30,456 What about you, 658 00:48:30,457 --> 00:48:32,976 Mrs Dawson? About the same. 659 00:48:32,977 --> 00:48:34,216 Mm. 660 00:48:34,217 --> 00:48:38,576 So, why do you want God's blessing, 661 00:48:38,577 --> 00:48:40,137 if you don't go to church? 662 00:48:41,737 --> 00:48:43,937 I'm just interested. 663 00:48:49,257 --> 00:48:50,857 We thought he might like the trade. 664 00:49:03,777 --> 00:49:06,776 Miserable bitch! 665 00:49:06,777 --> 00:49:09,417 I mean, no wonder folk don't go. 666 00:49:11,897 --> 00:49:14,936 Oh, we could live over t'brush. 667 00:49:14,937 --> 00:49:17,576 Ah, but then you wouldn't be Mrs Buttershaw. 668 00:49:17,577 --> 00:49:22,216 No, and I fancy having a do. I want to buy a hat. 669 00:49:22,217 --> 00:49:25,696 Oh, we could find another vicar. I bet they're not all like that. 670 00:49:25,697 --> 00:49:29,736 No, she's put me off. That's it, now, with me and the Church. End of. 671 00:49:29,737 --> 00:49:32,536 Good night, Vienna. I've left the building. 672 00:49:32,537 --> 00:49:34,616 Well, where would you like to get wed? 673 00:49:34,617 --> 00:49:38,056 Cos, I mean, you can get wed anywhere now, you know. 674 00:49:38,057 --> 00:49:39,377 Oh, somewhere classy. 675 00:49:41,257 --> 00:49:42,297 Oh, yeah. 676 00:49:43,457 --> 00:49:45,016 South Ouram Hall. 677 00:49:45,017 --> 00:49:47,016 South Ouram Hall. 678 00:49:47,017 --> 00:49:49,377 Oh, I used to love South Ouram Hall. 679 00:49:50,497 --> 00:49:53,456 Is it still there? Yeah, yeah, far as I know. 680 00:49:53,457 --> 00:49:54,777 They've not mucked it up? 681 00:49:54,778 --> 00:49:58,537 No, I think it's just as creepy as it ever were. 682 00:50:42,817 --> 00:50:46,857 What's he doing here? It's my house. 683 00:50:48,897 --> 00:50:50,736 Slapper. 684 00:50:50,737 --> 00:50:53,536 Yeah, whatever. 685 00:50:53,537 --> 00:50:56,457 What do you mean? Is this what...? 686 00:50:58,217 --> 00:50:59,537 You and him? 687 00:51:02,017 --> 00:51:05,257 Right. I'm off upstairs to get the rest of my stuff. 688 00:51:07,457 --> 00:51:08,497 I'll be outside. 689 00:51:09,897 --> 00:51:12,737 You really do need your head examined. 690 00:51:31,657 --> 00:51:32,697 Ah! Ah! 691 00:51:34,977 --> 00:51:37,817 Oh! Oh! 692 00:51:43,897 --> 00:51:45,977 Hello? Shop? 693 00:51:51,297 --> 00:51:54,616 What, nobody about? No, doesn't look like it. 694 00:51:54,617 --> 00:51:56,217 Hello? 695 00:52:00,577 --> 00:52:01,777 Hello? 696 00:52:06,137 --> 00:52:08,297 Hello? 697 00:52:22,177 --> 00:52:25,056 My cousin Alice saw a ghost here once. 698 00:52:25,057 --> 00:52:28,176 Where? Er... upstairs. 699 00:52:28,177 --> 00:52:30,856 What was it like? 700 00:52:30,857 --> 00:52:32,457 A woman. 701 00:52:49,257 --> 00:52:50,576 Don't go. 702 00:52:50,577 --> 00:52:53,296 I can't chuck him out. He's got nowhere else to go. 703 00:52:53,297 --> 00:52:55,897 I'll... I'll go. You can't! You... You can't. 704 00:53:04,137 --> 00:53:06,177 Don't. 705 00:53:26,657 --> 00:53:29,137 I...I think it were this room. 706 00:53:43,297 --> 00:53:45,576 Er... she came through that door. 707 00:53:45,577 --> 00:53:48,016 She walked across here... 708 00:53:48,017 --> 00:53:50,777 and disappeared through that wall. 709 00:53:51,737 --> 00:53:54,297 Ooh. 710 00:54:04,417 --> 00:54:05,777 Shall we go? 711 00:54:07,697 --> 00:54:10,457 Power cut. Let's go. 712 00:54:23,377 --> 00:54:24,417 Oh! 713 00:54:30,177 --> 00:54:31,936 Hello? Is anybody there? 714 00:54:31,937 --> 00:54:33,936 Hello? 715 00:54:33,937 --> 00:54:35,417 Hello? Telephone. 716 00:54:39,697 --> 00:54:41,817 I've got no reception. Neither have I. 717 00:55:00,297 --> 00:55:01,777 What the... 718 00:55:07,417 --> 00:55:09,697 Oh... No... 54015

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.