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1
00:00:00,460 --> 00:00:03,450
Happen we should...
..just get on with the wedding,
2
00:00:03,460 --> 00:00:07,690
and not tell anyone until
it's all over and done with.
3
00:00:07,700 --> 00:00:09,530
I've never been a best man.
4
00:00:09,540 --> 00:00:12,690
It's something I'd like to do,
once, before I die.
5
00:00:12,700 --> 00:00:15,330
When I come back we really do
need to work out what's what
6
00:00:15,340 --> 00:00:18,050
and whose is what,
and all the rest of it.
7
00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:20,490
I think I'm a little bit
in love with you.
8
00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:22,490
I need to tell you this thing.
9
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:24,210
She slept with John.
10
00:00:24,220 --> 00:00:27,810
It's just a disappointment, isn't it?
An ongoing disappointment.
11
00:00:27,820 --> 00:00:31,370
Who? Ellie. Girlfriend.
She's not my girlfriend.
12
00:00:31,380 --> 00:00:32,970
Gillian's coming.
13
00:00:32,980 --> 00:00:34,850
Gillian?
14
00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:38,010
Yes. Oh, and Kate's moving in.
15
00:00:38,020 --> 00:00:42,570
They've got an appointment to get
married at 11 o'clock this morning.
16
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:39,210
How long will it take?
17
00:01:39,220 --> 00:01:42,660
Oh, I don't know.
Not long, I shouldn't think.
18
00:01:46,260 --> 00:01:47,930
This is Dave.
19
00:01:47,940 --> 00:01:51,050
He's kindly agreed
to be our other witness.
20
00:01:51,060 --> 00:01:53,930
This is, er, Celia.
21
00:01:53,940 --> 00:01:55,210
How do you do?
22
00:01:55,220 --> 00:01:57,490
And this is Azeem.
23
00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:59,890
Do you know how long
it's going to take?
24
00:01:59,900 --> 00:02:01,730
Er... Half an hour? 20 minutes?
25
00:02:01,740 --> 00:02:03,330
About that, yeah.
26
00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:05,930
I'm wondering if you'd be
better off finding somebody else.
27
00:02:05,940 --> 00:02:07,810
Oh. Sorry.
28
00:02:07,820 --> 00:02:10,690
Are you on duty? Is he on duty?
29
00:02:10,700 --> 00:02:13,010
He shouldn't be wasting
half an hour being a witness
30
00:02:13,020 --> 00:02:17,050
in a Registry Office
if he's on duty. I don't mind.
31
00:02:17,060 --> 00:02:20,410
Would you be all right finding
somebody else if I do bugger off?
32
00:02:20,420 --> 00:02:22,770
Well, yeah, obviously, I'll have to.
33
00:02:22,780 --> 00:02:25,250
What if I gave you a £20 note?
34
00:02:25,260 --> 00:02:27,410
Oh. Well...
35
00:02:27,420 --> 00:02:29,780
Yeah. OK.
36
00:02:30,940 --> 00:02:32,490
A £20 note?
37
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:35,330
Yeah. Each? Yeah.
38
00:02:35,340 --> 00:02:39,410
Not between us. Yeah, both of you.
39
00:02:39,420 --> 00:02:41,290
Well, that's sorted!
40
00:02:41,300 --> 00:02:44,090
And now we're ready!
41
00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:45,890
He's a policeman!
42
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:48,610
He shouldn't be fleecing pensioners.
43
00:02:48,620 --> 00:02:52,050
And Azeem obviously
needs to be somewhere else.
44
00:02:52,060 --> 00:02:54,940
You're fine, love.
I'll just say I got delayed.
45
00:02:57,660 --> 00:03:00,570
Do you know Paul Jatri?
46
00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:02,060
Should I?
47
00:03:03,220 --> 00:03:05,930
Celia Dawson and Alan Buttershaw?
48
00:03:05,940 --> 00:03:07,850
Yeah, that's us. Oh, that's us.
49
00:03:07,860 --> 00:03:11,300
Are you ready to come up?
Yep, yeah.
50
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:29,850
I'm not too late?
Alan Buttershaw and Celia Dawson?
51
00:03:29,860 --> 00:03:32,180
Just...just up the stairs.
52
00:03:34,260 --> 00:03:37,170
And could you just confirm your
date of birth for me, please, Alan?
53
00:03:37,180 --> 00:03:40,010
15th December, 1936.
54
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:44,210
No, fine, you carry on!
Don't tell us.
55
00:03:44,220 --> 00:03:47,090
We don't mind.
We're just your daughters.
56
00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:48,850
Is Caroline here?
57
00:03:48,860 --> 00:03:50,570
No, Celia. She isn't,
58
00:03:50,580 --> 00:03:53,250
because you can't get
from Harrogate to Halifax
59
00:03:53,260 --> 00:03:55,010
in the space of 15 minutes.
60
00:03:55,020 --> 00:03:56,730
Not unless you're Captain Spock,
61
00:03:56,740 --> 00:04:00,370
and you can disappear up your own
backside in a cloud of glitter
62
00:04:00,380 --> 00:04:03,690
with a cheesy sound effect, and land
on another planet two seconds later.
63
00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:07,530
I don't think even Caroline
can do that. I may be wrong.
64
00:04:07,540 --> 00:04:09,170
She means Mr Spock.
65
00:04:09,180 --> 00:04:11,690
Who's he?! That's Azeem.
66
00:04:11,700 --> 00:04:14,930
"Halifax's Finest Halal."
Rawson Street, just on here.
67
00:04:14,940 --> 00:04:17,010
Well, it's not mine,
it's me uncle's.
68
00:04:17,020 --> 00:04:18,530
How did you know...?
69
00:04:18,540 --> 00:04:20,450
Down the side of the settee.
I thought...
70
00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:23,210
I didn't know what to think.
And you know what, Dad?
71
00:04:23,220 --> 00:04:26,930
It's fine. You go live in Harrogate
with your posh pals,
72
00:04:26,940 --> 00:04:29,290
don't bother speaking to me
for two weeks,
73
00:04:29,300 --> 00:04:32,850
don't invite me to your
f... bloody wedding.
74
00:04:32,860 --> 00:04:36,170
We used to talk to each other.
Do you remember?
75
00:04:36,180 --> 00:04:37,850
Before you had your head turned.
76
00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:39,850
Don't you start on Celia.
77
00:04:39,860 --> 00:04:42,970
I suppose it hasn't occurred to you
to ask why...?
78
00:04:42,980 --> 00:04:45,290
I don't want to hear
your crappy little excuses.
79
00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:48,170
Y-you would never have done
something like this before!
80
00:04:48,180 --> 00:04:51,210
You would never not have
thought about me and Raff.
81
00:04:51,220 --> 00:04:52,810
But that's fine,
82
00:04:52,820 --> 00:04:55,290
if that's the way
they do things in Harrogate.
83
00:04:55,300 --> 00:04:57,700
Enjoy.
84
00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:09,170
Have you any, ANY idea how worried
and upset I've been, eh?
85
00:05:09,180 --> 00:05:10,530
You haven't a f...
86
00:05:10,540 --> 00:05:12,300
bloody clue!
87
00:05:21,820 --> 00:05:25,690
Are we, er...
carrying on, then, or what?
88
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:28,250
Oh, damn. I feel a bit shaken now.
89
00:05:28,260 --> 00:05:32,530
Would you like a few minutes?
Just to gather your thoughts?
90
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:34,650
Maybe I should ring Caroline.
91
00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:37,370
That's up to you.
Have a seat.
92
00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:39,220
She'll be busy.
93
00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:43,340
I haven't turned your head, have I?
94
00:05:45,260 --> 00:05:49,130
Ignore her. Oh, damn.
95
00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:51,620
It must have fallen out of my pocket.
96
00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:56,570
It was just meant to be
a bit of fun, you see,
97
00:05:56,580 --> 00:05:58,930
getting married in secret.
98
00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:01,890
Well, and romantic.
99
00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:05,580
And we were just going to
tell 'em all afterwards.
100
00:06:06,940 --> 00:06:09,930
We thought they'd think
it was funny.
101
00:06:09,940 --> 00:06:13,290
We thought they'd be pleased for us.
102
00:06:13,300 --> 00:06:16,020
It doesn't seem the same now,
if they know.
103
00:06:17,140 --> 00:06:20,370
Well, they do know, clearly.
104
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:23,490
We weren't doing it just for effect.
105
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:26,090
We are actually in love
with each other.
106
00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:28,100
We have been since we were kids.
107
00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:32,380
I don't think we should let it
make any difference.
108
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,540
Oh, you can do one.
109
00:07:09,420 --> 00:07:11,090
'I can't take your call just now,
110
00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:14,890
but if you leave a message,
I'll ring you back.'
111
00:07:14,900 --> 00:07:17,850
Gillian, it's Caroline. I'm sorry
I couldn't talk properly earlier,
112
00:07:17,860 --> 00:07:19,970
I was just, erm...
113
00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:22,010
Are you all right?
114
00:07:22,020 --> 00:07:25,820
Look. Ring me if you want to,
I'm sure it's... They'll just...
115
00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:31,050
Oh, I don't know. I'll try you
again in a bit, OK? Bye-bye.
116
00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:35,650
Caroline? John's on the phone.
117
00:07:35,660 --> 00:07:37,260
Put him through.
118
00:07:46,420 --> 00:07:48,090
'Ello, 'ello.
119
00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:49,570
'Hiya.'
120
00:07:49,580 --> 00:07:51,620
You all right? 'Been better.'
121
00:07:53,700 --> 00:07:55,780
What time's your dinner break?
122
00:07:57,180 --> 00:07:58,770
John.
123
00:07:58,780 --> 00:08:00,660
It's me. 'Yes.'
124
00:08:04,260 --> 00:08:07,130
Hello? 'Can I talk to you?'
125
00:08:07,140 --> 00:08:10,890
Yes. No, I meant face-to-face.
126
00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:14,610
When? Sooner rather than later.
127
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:17,530
Are you having a lunch break today,
or just working through?
128
00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:19,290
What do you want to talk about?
129
00:08:19,300 --> 00:08:22,420
'Me. Us. Everything.'
130
00:08:23,860 --> 00:08:26,730
I can give you half an hour
at 1:30 if it's important.
131
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:31,810
Where? 'Well, it'd have to be here,
in my office.'
132
00:08:31,820 --> 00:08:33,170
I think you're over-reacting.
133
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:37,010
He thinks the sun shines out
of her arse, and I'm just scum.
134
00:08:37,020 --> 00:08:39,450
Well, he might think the sun...
whatever,
135
00:08:39,460 --> 00:08:42,410
but why does that mean
he suddenly thinks that you're scum?
136
00:08:42,420 --> 00:08:44,730
Oh, just...
137
00:08:44,740 --> 00:08:49,090
He's taken up with her,
he's in love.
138
00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:51,090
It's nice.
139
00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:52,650
You can't be jealous.
140
00:08:52,660 --> 00:08:55,690
I'm not jealous!
Well, what is it then?
141
00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:57,490
Well, is it normal,
142
00:08:57,500 --> 00:09:00,210
not inviting any of your nearest
and dearest to your wedding?
143
00:09:00,220 --> 00:09:02,890
Well... I could understand
you being upset
144
00:09:02,900 --> 00:09:05,810
if they'd invited Caroline
and not you, but they didn't.
145
00:09:05,820 --> 00:09:09,650
They obviously wanted
this little secret...do.
146
00:09:09,660 --> 00:09:11,650
I think it's romantic.
147
00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:16,130
I think Caroline's right, they just
want... Oh, f... Bloody Caroline.
148
00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:19,130
What's up with Caroline?
I thought you were mates? Nothing!
149
00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:22,730
She walks on water.
She's perfection in human form.
150
00:09:22,740 --> 00:09:27,650
And I'm just braindead
low-life trailer-trash. Oh, yes.
151
00:09:27,660 --> 00:09:29,610
Is there something else going on?
152
00:09:29,620 --> 00:09:33,250
He's been in Harrogate two weeks.
I've rung him four or five times,
153
00:09:33,260 --> 00:09:35,770
because I'm worried about him,
and he knows I am,
154
00:09:35,780 --> 00:09:37,730
and he barely has time
to speak to me.
155
00:09:37,740 --> 00:09:40,570
And when he does it's all very...
156
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,210
tepid.
157
00:09:42,220 --> 00:09:44,500
Have you argued about something?
158
00:09:46,060 --> 00:09:50,290
No. Have you said something
that's upset him? No!
159
00:09:52,180 --> 00:09:57,260
I think she thinks
I'm a bit of a one.
160
00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:00,850
Which I might be, sometimes.
161
00:10:00,860 --> 00:10:05,490
But so what? Me dad's never minded
before. Well, he has, but...
162
00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:08,090
I think she thinks our house
is a right muck-hole,
163
00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:11,570
I can tell by t'look on her face.
It's a farm! Get over it.
164
00:10:11,580 --> 00:10:15,980
Just cos I'm not sodding...perfect
like Caroline.
165
00:10:18,140 --> 00:10:20,700
Do you want me to ring him? No.
166
00:10:22,540 --> 00:10:25,970
No. Oh, it's...
167
00:10:25,980 --> 00:10:27,460
No.
168
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:31,140
Shall we get married
and not tell anyone?
169
00:10:36,140 --> 00:10:38,210
I don't know what's happening to me.
170
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:40,340
I don't know who I can... I can't...
171
00:10:41,620 --> 00:10:43,090
There's no-one I can...
172
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:45,570
What do you want?
173
00:10:45,580 --> 00:10:48,820
I didn't mean...
I meant generally, in life, now.
174
00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:51,450
What do you want?
175
00:10:51,460 --> 00:10:53,650
Focus on the future, not the past.
176
00:10:53,660 --> 00:10:57,650
I want you. I want everything
to go back like it was.
177
00:10:57,660 --> 00:10:59,540
Right.
178
00:11:15,420 --> 00:11:17,490
I've moved on.
179
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:20,290
You are going to have to get used
to that, and when you do...
180
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:21,770
My publisher's dropped me.
181
00:11:21,780 --> 00:11:24,690
Really? Really?
182
00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:27,060
Yeah. Oh, shit.
183
00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:31,730
Well, I'm...
184
00:11:31,740 --> 00:11:33,930
God, I'm sorry.
185
00:11:33,940 --> 00:11:39,010
I've squandered everything that
mattered. I don't recognise myself.
186
00:11:39,020 --> 00:11:41,370
Could you get more work
at the university?
187
00:11:41,380 --> 00:11:44,130
Yes, that's... It's...
188
00:11:44,140 --> 00:11:47,140
I can ask. But...
189
00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:56,860
Would you like some tea?
190
00:12:52,300 --> 00:12:54,060
I may have...
191
00:12:56,220 --> 00:12:57,700
..over-reacted.
192
00:13:03,140 --> 00:13:07,690
You going to say anything? It were
just meant to be a bit of fun.
193
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:10,330
Bit of an adventure.
194
00:13:10,340 --> 00:13:14,090
Nobody was excluding anybody...
195
00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:16,290
as such. It were just...
Yeah, right.
196
00:13:16,300 --> 00:13:18,970
Why would you think
it was all about you?
197
00:13:18,980 --> 00:13:21,650
I didn't tell Caroline.
198
00:13:21,660 --> 00:13:23,650
Cos of...
199
00:13:23,660 --> 00:13:27,450
Cos of that what you said
last time I saw you...
200
00:13:27,460 --> 00:13:29,490
about me mother.
201
00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:33,410
And then you don't speak to me
for two weeks, hardly.
202
00:13:33,420 --> 00:13:37,730
And I have to rely on Caroline,
this woman who...
203
00:13:37,740 --> 00:13:41,130
let's be honest, I hardly know.
204
00:13:41,140 --> 00:13:45,970
Having the courtesy to pick up
the phone to me
205
00:13:45,980 --> 00:13:49,890
to know you're not...
back in hospital, or worse.
206
00:13:49,900 --> 00:13:52,610
We came up wi' t'plan
207
00:13:52,620 --> 00:13:56,490
before we ever even had
that conversation about your mum.
208
00:13:56,500 --> 00:13:59,850
We just didn't want a fuss, love.
209
00:13:59,860 --> 00:14:02,210
Your dad didn't, and neither did I.
210
00:14:02,220 --> 00:14:05,330
It were nothing to do with anything
else. This is between me and him.
211
00:14:05,340 --> 00:14:08,690
I really would appreciate you
not speaking to Celia like that.
212
00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:11,620
I don't believe you anyway.
Right.
213
00:14:15,740 --> 00:14:20,010
You don't...
You don't want a fuss? Fine.
214
00:14:20,020 --> 00:14:23,650
But why would you not want to share
all of that with any of us?
215
00:14:23,660 --> 00:14:26,650
With Raff, with your mates?
Not just me.
216
00:14:26,660 --> 00:14:29,530
I mean, Harry and Maurice were
wetting themselves, they were...
217
00:14:29,540 --> 00:14:31,690
I've said what I've said.
It's t'truth.
218
00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:35,620
If you're not prepared to accept it,
there's very little I can do.
219
00:14:36,780 --> 00:14:39,210
What have you done to him?
220
00:14:39,220 --> 00:14:42,130
He didn't used to be like this.
221
00:14:42,140 --> 00:14:46,330
You'll be voting for Snooty Dave
and his chums soon, Dad.
222
00:14:46,340 --> 00:14:48,970
You'll be buying the Daily Mail.
I think we better go.
223
00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:51,170
Back to Harrogate, is it?
224
00:14:51,180 --> 00:14:54,690
I'll phone you when we arrive so
you'll know we've got there safely.
225
00:14:54,700 --> 00:14:56,770
If you've time.
226
00:14:56,780 --> 00:15:00,890
I don't know how you can fashion
talking to your dad like this,
227
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,700
when you know how poorly he's been.
228
00:15:05,740 --> 00:15:08,650
Don't go...Dad.
229
00:15:08,660 --> 00:15:10,970
Well...
230
00:15:10,980 --> 00:15:14,460
the thing is, we're married now,
so...
231
00:15:17,940 --> 00:15:21,690
You did it?
Yeah, course we did it!
232
00:15:21,700 --> 00:15:24,250
So I'm going back to Harrogate
with Celia,
233
00:15:24,260 --> 00:15:27,490
because that's always
what t'plan were.
234
00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:31,010
Plan were to come and tell you
first, because you're here,
235
00:15:31,020 --> 00:15:33,610
and Caroline second,
because she's there.
236
00:15:33,620 --> 00:15:36,770
We had a bit of a debate
about that, the logistics.
237
00:15:36,780 --> 00:15:40,330
Because we didn't want Caroline
to feel she was any less important.
238
00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:45,490
But we couldn't think of a way
round it...short of telephoning,
239
00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:49,290
but we wanted to see people's faces
when we told them,
240
00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:52,490
because...I thought
they'd be happy for us.
241
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:54,050
Right.
242
00:15:54,060 --> 00:15:58,050
Well, if you'd had us all there
you could have seen all our faces
243
00:15:58,060 --> 00:16:01,650
all at the same time, but obviously
that wasn't what you wanted.
244
00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:04,290
Well...
245
00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:07,330
perhaps we have made a mistake.
246
00:16:07,340 --> 00:16:10,330
Well, we have, clearly,
because this doesn't resemble,
247
00:16:10,340 --> 00:16:14,500
in any way shape or form, the
happy moment we hoped it might be.
248
00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:19,420
I'm sorry.
249
00:16:20,940 --> 00:16:23,690
I've over-reacted.
250
00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:26,450
If I hadn't found that card,
I'd never have known,
251
00:16:26,460 --> 00:16:29,610
and you'd have just turned up
all happy, and I'd have...
252
00:16:29,620 --> 00:16:33,530
probably been very happy to see you.
253
00:16:33,540 --> 00:16:36,450
But still...pissed off
254
00:16:36,460 --> 00:16:38,970
that you hadn't spoken to me
properly for two weeks.
255
00:16:38,980 --> 00:16:42,170
Yes, you don't have to remind me
that there was a...
256
00:16:42,180 --> 00:16:45,060
reason for not speaking to me.
257
00:17:15,020 --> 00:17:17,850
Hello? 'Mum? It's me.'
258
00:17:17,860 --> 00:17:21,170
Hiya. Is it all right
if I bring Ellie home?
259
00:17:21,180 --> 00:17:22,690
For tea?
260
00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:24,730
'Ellie?' Yeah.
261
00:17:24,740 --> 00:17:28,410
She's not a vegetarian
or anything dozy, is she?
262
00:17:28,420 --> 00:17:30,810
Well, actually, yeah, she is.
263
00:17:30,820 --> 00:17:34,650
'Right, well,
I might have a carrot somewhere.
264
00:17:34,660 --> 00:17:36,330
'Your grandad's got married.'
265
00:17:36,340 --> 00:17:38,890
Me grandad?! 'Yeah.'
266
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:40,170
What?!
267
00:17:40,180 --> 00:17:41,970
Yeah. 'When?'
268
00:17:41,980 --> 00:17:44,370
This morning. The jammy old b...!
269
00:17:44,380 --> 00:17:48,250
Were you there? Who were there?
Nobody. Nobody was there.
270
00:17:48,260 --> 00:17:50,530
Me grandad's got married!
271
00:17:50,540 --> 00:17:52,130
How come?
272
00:17:53,900 --> 00:17:55,620
Your grandad?
273
00:17:56,780 --> 00:17:58,210
Is she laughing?
274
00:18:22,260 --> 00:18:24,210
Married?
275
00:18:24,220 --> 00:18:26,530
Well, I don't know
whether they actually did.
276
00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:29,690
Granny's got her mobile
permanently on voice mail,
277
00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:32,370
so you know as much as me.
Ring Alan's mobile.
278
00:18:32,380 --> 00:18:35,130
I don't think I've got his number.
Ring Gillian again.
279
00:18:35,140 --> 00:18:37,810
I've rung her four times.
I don't think she's speaking to me.
280
00:18:37,820 --> 00:18:41,330
Why? Oh, she was upset
because they hadn't invited us,
281
00:18:41,340 --> 00:18:43,890
whereas I thought, well,
I wouldn't have time to go anyway.
282
00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:46,690
Yes, you would! Kate,
I haven't got time to get divorced,
283
00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:48,730
never mind going
to other people's weddings.
284
00:18:48,740 --> 00:18:52,090
You are going to find time
to get divorced. Where's Dad?
285
00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:54,850
He's at Judith's, I expect.
I don't know.
286
00:18:54,860 --> 00:18:57,250
Angus said he saw him
in school today.
287
00:18:57,260 --> 00:18:59,970
Yes, he was. Briefly.
288
00:18:59,980 --> 00:19:04,330
Why? We had something to discuss.
289
00:19:04,340 --> 00:19:06,250
Angus said he looked hungover.
290
00:19:06,260 --> 00:19:09,290
Yes, well, Angus has
a very fertile imagination.
291
00:19:09,300 --> 00:19:10,970
What did he want to discuss?
292
00:19:10,980 --> 00:19:12,780
I'll tell you later.
293
00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:16,170
I know why they didn't invite us.
294
00:19:16,180 --> 00:19:18,370
Why?
295
00:19:18,380 --> 00:19:20,340
It's not rocket science, is it?
296
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:29,210
You don't think they didn't
invite anyone because of me?
297
00:19:29,220 --> 00:19:30,900
Us. You and me.
298
00:19:32,180 --> 00:19:33,980
What makes you think that?
299
00:19:38,740 --> 00:19:41,370
Thanks.
300
00:19:41,380 --> 00:19:44,650
What's she like?
The lady he's married.
301
00:19:44,660 --> 00:19:46,290
She's kind of glamorous.
302
00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:48,810
How?! Me grandad thinks she is.
303
00:19:48,820 --> 00:19:50,730
And look at that car
she persuaded him to buy.
304
00:19:50,740 --> 00:19:54,490
Well, he's mesmerised by her,
isn't he? She's nice. She's funny.
305
00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:56,770
She's a bitch. What you on about?
That's a bit strong.
306
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:59,650
He'd never have had that heart
attack if she hadn't been so nasty
307
00:19:59,660 --> 00:20:02,610
and small-minded...about Caroline.
308
00:20:02,620 --> 00:20:04,330
She's got this daughter.
309
00:20:04,340 --> 00:20:07,330
She's posh. Really brainy,
really clever. Really nice.
310
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:10,490
On what planet is Caroline "nice"?!
She is!
311
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:12,490
That night Celia and me grandad
went missing,
312
00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:15,330
she was really supportive
and kind... She was the one
313
00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:18,530
sat in this very chair,
blubbing her eyes out, going,
314
00:20:18,540 --> 00:20:22,370
"Oh, I've been depressed."
It was me, me, f...
315
00:20:22,380 --> 00:20:24,010
bloody me.
316
00:20:24,020 --> 00:20:26,370
Do you mind not swearing
at the dining table, Mother?
317
00:20:26,380 --> 00:20:30,290
Do you mind not cracking these
people up to be things they're not?
318
00:20:30,300 --> 00:20:34,290
She's got a doctorate
in chemistry from Oxford.
319
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:37,690
So what?! I bet she doesn't
know how to deliver
320
00:20:37,700 --> 00:20:40,650
breached twin lambs
at 3:00 in the morning,
321
00:20:40,660 --> 00:20:43,090
in a blizzard.
322
00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:44,650
I bet she does.
323
00:21:00,220 --> 00:21:02,930
Well, Mrs Buttershaw.
324
00:21:02,940 --> 00:21:05,290
Well, Mr Buttershaw.
325
00:21:05,300 --> 00:21:07,010
It's been quite a day.
326
00:21:07,020 --> 00:21:09,410
Every day with you
seems to be quite a day,
327
00:21:09,420 --> 00:21:10,890
one way or another.
328
00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:14,530
I can't remember what I did with
myself all day before I met you.
329
00:21:14,540 --> 00:21:16,410
No, I don't think I can.
330
00:21:16,420 --> 00:21:19,410
I just used to fart about
and do bugger all.
331
00:21:19,420 --> 00:21:22,690
Oh, I'm quite fond of farting about
and doing bugger all.
332
00:21:22,700 --> 00:21:24,770
I think it relaxes you.
333
00:21:24,780 --> 00:21:29,290
"Hobbies include farting about
and doing bugger all."
334
00:21:29,300 --> 00:21:31,890
I might put it on my CV.
335
00:21:31,900 --> 00:21:33,410
Have you got one?
336
00:21:33,420 --> 00:21:35,010
Have I hell!
337
00:21:35,020 --> 00:21:37,810
I don't need one,
I'm a woman of leisure.
338
00:21:37,820 --> 00:21:42,650
And means. Have been
for some significant time.
339
00:21:42,660 --> 00:21:46,850
I'm quite a catch, let's face it,
in oh so many ways.
340
00:21:46,860 --> 00:21:49,650
And modest, too. Hell, no!
341
00:21:49,660 --> 00:21:53,210
When did being modest
ever get you anywhere?
342
00:21:53,220 --> 00:21:55,170
So.
343
00:21:55,180 --> 00:21:57,260
So...
344
00:21:58,460 --> 00:22:00,420
The wedding night! Hmm.
345
00:22:01,900 --> 00:22:05,850
60 years later than anticipated,
maybe, but...
346
00:22:05,860 --> 00:22:07,890
Well worth the wait.
347
00:22:07,900 --> 00:22:10,930
Well, we'll find out, won't we?
348
00:22:14,540 --> 00:22:17,490
Had we not better knock on
Caroline's door first?
349
00:22:17,500 --> 00:22:19,890
Oh, God.
350
00:22:19,900 --> 00:22:22,330
I wonder what Gillian's told her?
351
00:22:22,340 --> 00:22:24,370
Where's Kate?
352
00:22:24,380 --> 00:22:27,850
Oh, she's gone home. Just tonight,
just to sort out a few things.
353
00:22:27,860 --> 00:22:29,530
And the boys?
354
00:22:29,540 --> 00:22:32,810
William's got a job in town,
washing up in a restaurant.
355
00:22:32,820 --> 00:22:35,970
Good for him! He won't be back
until gone midnight.
356
00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:38,770
And Lawrence is upstairs sulking.
357
00:22:38,780 --> 00:22:40,410
Oh, why?
358
00:22:40,420 --> 00:22:43,010
Cos I've taken him off at the knees,
I wiped the floor with him.
359
00:22:43,020 --> 00:22:45,170
What's he done? He's upset Kate.
360
00:22:45,180 --> 00:22:46,570
Why, what's he said?
361
00:22:46,580 --> 00:22:50,210
Apparently - I didn't hear it, I
was trying to fathom the gas bill -
362
00:22:50,220 --> 00:22:52,810
he said the reason you hadn't
invited any of us to the wedding
363
00:22:52,820 --> 00:22:56,010
wasn't rocket science, it was
because you didn't want Kate there.
364
00:22:56,020 --> 00:23:00,530
Cheers! Congratulations!
Here's mud in your eye.
365
00:23:00,540 --> 00:23:02,850
Which I said was nonsense.
It is nonsense.
366
00:23:02,860 --> 00:23:06,410
It were nowt to do with anyone else,
it was just meant to be a bit of...
367
00:23:06,420 --> 00:23:10,010
A bit of fun! I know. As long as
we're clear that it is nonsense.
368
00:23:10,020 --> 00:23:13,050
It's nonsense. And you can
tell her that from me.
369
00:23:13,060 --> 00:23:16,490
Or you can tell her yourself
the next time you see her. Right.
370
00:23:16,500 --> 00:23:18,450
Right.
371
00:23:18,460 --> 00:23:21,530
So, just out of interest,
now you're married,
372
00:23:21,540 --> 00:23:23,690
where were you thinking of living?
373
00:23:23,700 --> 00:23:26,530
Ah, well... We've not really...
374
00:23:26,540 --> 00:23:28,530
..that's one of the things, you see.
375
00:23:28,540 --> 00:23:31,130
We were getting that bogged down
in t'practicalities
376
00:23:31,140 --> 00:23:33,250
of this, that and t'other,
we ended up thinking,
377
00:23:33,260 --> 00:23:35,850
"Well, we'll never get wed
at this rate."
378
00:23:35,860 --> 00:23:39,420
OK, well, I'm just going to
run this past you.
379
00:23:40,420 --> 00:23:42,530
John's publisher's
given him the shove.
380
00:23:42,540 --> 00:23:44,650
Oh, shit!
381
00:23:44,660 --> 00:23:47,690
So, this is the thing...
382
00:23:47,700 --> 00:23:50,370
He can't afford to buy me out,
my half, my share,
383
00:23:50,380 --> 00:23:54,250
which I always imagined he could,
but he can't, so, wahey.
384
00:23:54,260 --> 00:23:58,370
Anyway, now I'm contemplating ways
in which I can buy him out,
385
00:23:58,380 --> 00:24:02,570
rather than...sell up,
which, obviously, is an option.
386
00:24:02,580 --> 00:24:04,250
OK...
387
00:24:04,260 --> 00:24:07,810
I've not had the house valued yet,
but based on what I imagine
388
00:24:07,820 --> 00:24:11,530
we'd be looking at, and if you did
want to live in the flat together...
389
00:24:11,540 --> 00:24:13,850
We'd have to make a contribution?
390
00:24:13,860 --> 00:24:16,850
It's... That's...
391
00:24:16,860 --> 00:24:18,930
I have already put money
into this house.
392
00:24:18,940 --> 00:24:21,690
The bottom line...
393
00:24:21,700 --> 00:24:24,570
unless a number of factors kick in,
financially,
394
00:24:24,580 --> 00:24:27,050
is that we would have to sell up.
395
00:24:27,060 --> 00:24:30,290
What sort of figure would you be
looking for from me?
396
00:24:30,300 --> 00:24:32,050
From us.
397
00:24:32,060 --> 00:24:34,170
100,000.
398
00:24:34,180 --> 00:24:38,490
One along here sold for 850,000
a few weeks ago, it's ridiculous.
399
00:24:38,500 --> 00:24:40,890
And you could afford
the rest yourself?
400
00:24:40,900 --> 00:24:43,490
No, I was going to ask Kate.
Ask Kate what?
401
00:24:43,500 --> 00:24:46,730
To sell her house.
I haven't said anything to her yet.
402
00:24:46,740 --> 00:24:49,890
I wanted to talk to you first.
403
00:24:49,900 --> 00:24:54,370
Look, don't... Nobody has to make
any instant decisions. I just...
404
00:24:54,380 --> 00:24:56,450
It's the boys, you see, as well.
405
00:24:56,460 --> 00:24:58,450
I'd like to be able
to give them that stability,
406
00:24:58,460 --> 00:25:01,580
at least until they've finished
their education, and...
407
00:25:04,180 --> 00:25:06,530
Oh, God, I'm sorry!
408
00:25:06,540 --> 00:25:11,810
It's your wedding night. I shouldn't
be inflicting all that on you now.
409
00:25:11,820 --> 00:25:14,410
We'll talk about it tomorrow.
410
00:25:14,420 --> 00:25:16,250
Take this.
411
00:25:16,260 --> 00:25:18,690
Oh, thank you.
412
00:25:18,700 --> 00:25:21,530
Could you give us a minute?
413
00:25:21,540 --> 00:25:23,970
Eh? Oh, yes. Yes, of course I can.
414
00:25:23,980 --> 00:25:27,050
Thank you, Caroline.
It's a pleasure.
415
00:25:27,060 --> 00:25:30,460
I'll see you in t'morning.
I'll see you in the morning.
416
00:25:37,260 --> 00:25:39,060
What?
417
00:25:41,300 --> 00:25:44,210
It wasn't about Kate,
us getting married like this.
418
00:25:44,220 --> 00:25:46,250
It hadn't occurred to me.
419
00:25:46,260 --> 00:25:48,850
It was because of what
the consultant said
420
00:25:48,860 --> 00:25:50,890
that morning Alan left hospital.
421
00:25:50,900 --> 00:25:52,810
What do you mean?
422
00:25:52,820 --> 00:25:55,250
We just wanted to get it done with,
423
00:25:55,260 --> 00:25:57,940
quickly, with as little fuss
as possible.
424
00:25:59,020 --> 00:26:01,370
Why?
425
00:26:01,380 --> 00:26:04,610
Look, you're not to say anything.
He won't talk about it.
426
00:26:04,620 --> 00:26:06,810
He likes to pretend
there's nothing wrong with him,
427
00:26:06,820 --> 00:26:09,170
and we just got married
for a bit of fun.
428
00:26:09,180 --> 00:26:10,770
Which we did!
429
00:26:10,780 --> 00:26:13,860
And Gillian doesn't know this.
What?
430
00:26:15,100 --> 00:26:17,930
A sensible approach is the key,
Mr Buttershaw,
431
00:26:17,940 --> 00:26:22,250
because, not to put too fine
a point on it,
432
00:26:22,260 --> 00:26:25,330
you wouldn't survive
another heart attack.
433
00:26:25,340 --> 00:26:27,420
Even a relatively small one.
434
00:26:34,100 --> 00:26:36,610
Oh, good Lord. Yeah.
435
00:26:36,620 --> 00:26:39,050
Yeah.
436
00:26:39,060 --> 00:26:41,610
I just wanted you to know.
437
00:26:41,620 --> 00:26:44,500
And you can tell Kate, so she knows.
438
00:26:45,700 --> 00:26:48,260
It really wasn't
about anything else.
439
00:26:57,980 --> 00:27:01,130
I need to tell you something.
How's she getting home?
440
00:27:01,140 --> 00:27:05,530
Can she stop? Here?
Yeah. Tonight? Yeah. No.
441
00:27:05,540 --> 00:27:07,450
You can give Ellie
a lift down Ripponden
442
00:27:07,460 --> 00:27:09,010
when you go, can't you, Robbie?
443
00:27:09,020 --> 00:27:13,100
Yeah. I'll be setting off
in about half an hour or so. Sorted.
444
00:27:14,580 --> 00:27:16,490
Right.
445
00:27:16,500 --> 00:27:19,330
OK. Well...
446
00:27:19,340 --> 00:27:21,860
the thing is...
447
00:27:23,380 --> 00:27:26,690
She's pregnant.
448
00:27:26,700 --> 00:27:29,290
It's mine.
449
00:27:29,300 --> 00:27:30,890
She's eight months.
450
00:27:30,900 --> 00:27:33,250
She told her mum and dad
and they went mad.
451
00:27:33,260 --> 00:27:35,060
They've chucked her out.
452
00:27:49,860 --> 00:27:51,410
Has something happened?
453
00:27:51,420 --> 00:27:53,330
'Not... No, not... Well, yeah, yeah.
454
00:27:53,340 --> 00:27:57,530
'Something's... Raff's got himself
into a bit of bother.'
455
00:27:57,540 --> 00:28:00,570
It's nowt to worry about, Dad.
456
00:28:00,580 --> 00:28:03,970
I don't want you getting stressed.
457
00:28:03,980 --> 00:28:10,210
Just...it might benefit him
if you're around a bit, that's all.
458
00:28:10,220 --> 00:28:13,610
If... if you...
459
00:28:13,620 --> 00:28:17,810
Right. OK. Well, we can pop over.
460
00:28:17,820 --> 00:28:20,090
Who is it? Gillian.
461
00:28:20,100 --> 00:28:24,100
That'd be...
'Can you give me general, erm...?'
462
00:28:25,260 --> 00:28:28,290
It's... It's... It's...
463
00:28:28,300 --> 00:28:31,770
He's wanting to leave school,
464
00:28:31,780 --> 00:28:34,370
and chuck his life down the drain.
465
00:28:34,380 --> 00:28:36,690
Like I did. And I don't want him to.
466
00:28:36,700 --> 00:28:39,730
Why? Why's he suddenly
thinking of doing that?
467
00:28:39,740 --> 00:28:43,210
I thought he was doing very well
with his A-levels?
468
00:28:43,220 --> 00:28:45,530
'He is! He is.
469
00:28:45,540 --> 00:28:49,130
'It's...a bit complicated,
and there's a girl involved.
470
00:28:49,140 --> 00:28:50,810
'It's...a man thing.'
471
00:28:50,820 --> 00:28:54,890
It's best if you come over,
if you can.
472
00:28:54,900 --> 00:28:59,250
I'm going to have to drive over
to Halifax. Is Robbie not around?
473
00:28:59,260 --> 00:29:01,570
You can't drive, you're not allowed.
Bugger that.
474
00:29:01,580 --> 00:29:03,890
'You're the only person
he ever really listens to.'
475
00:29:03,900 --> 00:29:05,660
I'll drive you.
476
00:29:06,660 --> 00:29:10,050
Sell my house? I know it's mad. But
you see, I think this is working,
477
00:29:10,060 --> 00:29:11,610
you and me, don't you?
478
00:29:11,620 --> 00:29:14,010
Well... There's Lawrence.
479
00:29:14,020 --> 00:29:16,730
And the ever-constant threat
of John dropping by,
480
00:29:16,740 --> 00:29:19,490
pissed, with Judith.
I'm dealing with all that.
481
00:29:19,500 --> 00:29:20,770
And your mum.
482
00:29:20,780 --> 00:29:23,810
Although maybe Celia and Alan will
want to go and live somewhere else
483
00:29:23,820 --> 00:29:25,530
anyway, now they're married.
484
00:29:25,540 --> 00:29:29,610
Well, no, thing is I'd probably need
her input as well, financially.
485
00:29:29,620 --> 00:29:32,010
So she'd be staying?
486
00:29:32,020 --> 00:29:35,530
Well, I... I think she's been on a
steep learning curve. Really, I do.
487
00:29:35,540 --> 00:29:38,610
They'd probably spend most of
their time over at Gillian's anyway.
488
00:29:38,620 --> 00:29:44,410
I don't know. Fine. I'm not saying
no. I shouldn't have asked.
489
00:29:47,060 --> 00:29:50,410
OK, good, it's fine, forget it,
let's not dwell on...
490
00:29:50,420 --> 00:29:52,890
No. Actually...
If it was just about you and me,
491
00:29:52,900 --> 00:29:56,690
I'd be worried that it was far too
quick and that you'd regret it.
492
00:29:56,700 --> 00:29:59,170
Kate, I wouldn't have asked you
if I thought I'd regret it.
493
00:29:59,180 --> 00:30:01,500
I like that house a lot,
but I'm not blinkered. It's...
494
00:30:02,940 --> 00:30:05,060
I want to spend
the rest of my life with you.
495
00:30:07,340 --> 00:30:10,250
I hope I'm not shallow enough to be
asking you for the wrong reasons.
496
00:30:10,260 --> 00:30:13,090
It's just a bit sooner than we might
have anticipated. That's all.
497
00:30:13,100 --> 00:30:14,620
Really? Really.
498
00:30:15,820 --> 00:30:18,610
Look. Say no. If you really
think it's wrong, say no.
499
00:30:18,620 --> 00:30:19,730
But think about it.
500
00:30:19,740 --> 00:30:22,340
It's not something
we have to decide this second.
501
00:30:24,540 --> 00:30:25,700
I can't kiss you here.
502
00:30:26,980 --> 00:30:29,420
No. No. You really can't. Nope.
503
00:30:31,100 --> 00:30:33,220
We'd need to know the exact figures.
Mm-hm.
504
00:30:34,460 --> 00:30:37,890
I've got someone coming to give me
a valuation later this afternoon.
505
00:30:37,900 --> 00:30:39,380
I'll get mine valued.
506
00:30:41,340 --> 00:30:43,010
So is that...?
507
00:30:43,020 --> 00:30:45,820
There's just one other thing to say.
508
00:30:47,100 --> 00:30:48,370
Which I would've brought up
509
00:30:48,380 --> 00:30:50,570
further down the line had things
progressed...
510
00:30:50,580 --> 00:30:53,610
but seeing as we're possibly moving
forward slightly faster than...
511
00:30:53,620 --> 00:30:54,740
What?
512
00:30:56,380 --> 00:30:59,780
You know I'm 42 next week?
Yes. I did know that. OK.
513
00:31:03,900 --> 00:31:05,660
This is equally... OK.
514
00:31:08,660 --> 00:31:09,700
I want a baby.
515
00:31:11,300 --> 00:31:12,460
I want to have a baby.
516
00:31:14,700 --> 00:31:16,220
I've always wanted a baby.
517
00:31:17,300 --> 00:31:20,570
And if we are going to do this
properly, permanently,
518
00:31:20,580 --> 00:31:22,810
you need to know that.
519
00:31:22,820 --> 00:31:24,570
And it's good
that it's cropped up now
520
00:31:24,580 --> 00:31:26,300
because time is not on my side.
521
00:31:28,220 --> 00:31:30,740
No. Caroline.
522
00:31:33,900 --> 00:31:35,220
I'm serious.
523
00:31:41,220 --> 00:31:42,260
You better go.
524
00:32:18,740 --> 00:32:21,660
So, what's up?
525
00:32:23,780 --> 00:32:25,170
Celia.
526
00:32:25,180 --> 00:32:26,220
Gillian.
527
00:32:29,340 --> 00:32:33,130
You know I told you
Raff's got a girlfriend?
528
00:32:33,140 --> 00:32:36,130
Is this the one that blows hot
and cold? That's right.
529
00:32:36,140 --> 00:32:37,410
Ellie.
530
00:32:37,420 --> 00:32:38,850
The one who only bothers with him -
531
00:32:38,860 --> 00:32:40,850
if she hasn't got a better
offer on the table.
532
00:32:40,860 --> 00:32:43,090
Well, what about her? She's here.
533
00:32:43,100 --> 00:32:44,650
She's inside.
534
00:32:44,660 --> 00:32:46,130
She's pregnant.
535
00:32:46,140 --> 00:32:47,330
Eight months.
536
00:32:47,340 --> 00:32:49,010
They both reckon it's his.
537
00:32:49,020 --> 00:32:51,370
Her mum and dad
gave her an ultimatum,
538
00:32:51,380 --> 00:32:53,250
which allegedly she didn't like.
539
00:32:53,260 --> 00:32:55,380
It involved
not seeing our Raff any more.
540
00:32:57,700 --> 00:32:58,820
So...
541
00:33:00,340 --> 00:33:04,050
Did she not...
think to get shut of it?
542
00:33:04,060 --> 00:33:06,540
She didn't know she was pregnant.
She says.
543
00:33:07,580 --> 00:33:11,370
She managed to convince herself
it was any number of other things.
544
00:33:11,380 --> 00:33:15,100
And you can't tell till you know
to look. She's hardly showing.
545
00:33:16,500 --> 00:33:19,610
So it's too late to...?
546
00:33:19,620 --> 00:33:21,290
Five months too late.
547
00:33:21,300 --> 00:33:23,380
I've made her an appointment
at the surgery.
548
00:33:25,060 --> 00:33:27,090
I'm driving her down
in half an hour.
549
00:33:27,100 --> 00:33:30,100
And...is it definitely his?
550
00:33:31,660 --> 00:33:35,020
He is convinced that it's his.
551
00:33:36,940 --> 00:33:38,650
But you're not to get upset.
552
00:33:38,660 --> 00:33:41,810
Whatever's happened,
we'll sort it.
553
00:33:41,820 --> 00:33:43,890
What's the plan?
554
00:33:43,900 --> 00:33:45,450
The plan.
555
00:33:45,460 --> 00:33:47,050
Well...
556
00:33:47,060 --> 00:33:49,050
He's not leaving school.
I've told him.
557
00:33:49,060 --> 00:33:52,690
He's a bright lad,
he's going places.
558
00:33:52,700 --> 00:33:54,980
I'll do what I can for 'em, but...
559
00:33:56,620 --> 00:33:59,970
I've told them in words of one
syllable, I am not a nanny.
560
00:33:59,980 --> 00:34:01,500
That's two syllables.
561
00:34:02,940 --> 00:34:04,890
I'm not made of money.
562
00:34:04,900 --> 00:34:06,860
What about her parents?
563
00:34:08,180 --> 00:34:10,650
They obviously think our Raff's
not good enough for her.
564
00:34:10,660 --> 00:34:11,730
Which is interesting,
565
00:34:11,740 --> 00:34:13,970
cos frankly I'd have said it was
the other way round.
566
00:34:13,980 --> 00:34:16,450
Did he not take precautions?
567
00:34:16,460 --> 00:34:18,580
These are the wrong questions, Dad!
568
00:34:20,420 --> 00:34:21,580
The time has passed.
569
00:34:23,820 --> 00:34:25,010
She's inside.
570
00:34:25,020 --> 00:34:26,300
Raff's gone to school.
571
00:34:27,620 --> 00:34:30,020
D'you want to come and say hello?
572
00:34:37,900 --> 00:34:41,210
Ellie. This is Raff's grandad.
573
00:34:41,220 --> 00:34:44,130
Hello, love. Alan.
574
00:34:44,140 --> 00:34:45,650
And this is Celia.
575
00:34:45,660 --> 00:34:47,290
My wife. Celia.
576
00:34:47,300 --> 00:34:49,010
I've just had a bath.
577
00:34:49,020 --> 00:34:50,810
Congratulations.
578
00:34:50,820 --> 00:34:52,770
I think it was a bit hot.
579
00:34:52,780 --> 00:34:56,490
I think I'm having like...
contractions.
580
00:34:56,500 --> 00:34:58,450
Oh, heck!
581
00:34:58,460 --> 00:35:01,010
We'll get her up to the hospital.
582
00:35:01,020 --> 00:35:02,860
You go pick Raff up from school.
583
00:35:14,380 --> 00:35:16,770
It's a mess, that's what this is.
584
00:35:16,780 --> 00:35:19,330
A right total fff...sodding mess.
585
00:35:19,340 --> 00:35:22,050
Yeah, I know, I know,
all right. I know!
586
00:35:22,060 --> 00:35:24,530
And how do we know it's yours?
Really, eh?
587
00:35:24,540 --> 00:35:27,010
We've been through this.
I told you, I know the night.
588
00:35:27,020 --> 00:35:29,370
No, come on, maths -
if she's only eight months,
589
00:35:29,380 --> 00:35:31,650
why's she gone into labour now?
It's early!
590
00:35:31,660 --> 00:35:33,650
You so want to believe it,
don't you?
591
00:35:33,660 --> 00:35:35,930
She probably isn't even
eight months, size of her!
592
00:35:35,940 --> 00:35:38,770
She's never slept with anyone else.
She says. Yes. She says.
593
00:35:38,780 --> 00:35:40,450
Happen you better ring
her mum and dad.
594
00:35:40,460 --> 00:35:41,890
I'm not ringing her mum and dad.
595
00:35:41,900 --> 00:35:44,050
Oh, well, that's grown up.
They hate me.
596
00:35:44,060 --> 00:35:47,170
Well, they need to know, they need
to share some of the responsibility,
597
00:35:47,180 --> 00:35:49,450
she's their daughter,
that'll be their grandchild.
598
00:35:49,460 --> 00:35:51,330
Unequivocally, theirs.
599
00:35:51,340 --> 00:35:54,250
Whereas I don't have the luxury
of such certain knowledge.
600
00:35:54,260 --> 00:35:56,570
She wouldn't lie! Why would she lie?
601
00:35:56,580 --> 00:35:59,570
Because she knows she can
rely on you, you pillock!
602
00:35:59,580 --> 00:36:02,170
Cos you're
so bloody smitten with her!
603
00:36:02,180 --> 00:36:04,610
So I'm reliable! And that's bad...
why?
604
00:36:04,620 --> 00:36:08,530
Because you've got your whole life
ahead of you! You've got choices!
605
00:36:08,540 --> 00:36:11,170
What choices will you have if
you're saddled with a baby at 17?
606
00:36:11,180 --> 00:36:14,290
And it's not even yours! For sure.
607
00:36:14,300 --> 00:36:18,050
She dumped you for this other lad,
who else has she been...
608
00:36:18,060 --> 00:36:19,860
wriggling around with, eh?
609
00:36:21,220 --> 00:36:22,970
No-one.
610
00:36:22,980 --> 00:36:25,490
God, you're naive.
611
00:36:25,500 --> 00:36:28,170
Yeah, and you're
a dirty-minded old cow.
612
00:36:28,180 --> 00:36:29,370
I beg your pardon?
613
00:36:29,380 --> 00:36:30,660
Didn't say owt.
614
00:36:41,780 --> 00:36:44,970
You haven't to stress your grandad.
I'm not stressing me grandad!
615
00:36:44,980 --> 00:36:48,330
If anyone'll be stressing me grandad
with shouting, it's you!
616
00:36:48,340 --> 00:36:50,010
You're doing what?
617
00:36:50,020 --> 00:36:52,010
Delivering babies.
618
00:36:52,020 --> 00:36:53,650
Well, a baby.
619
00:36:53,660 --> 00:36:58,690
Unless it's twins, which I'd be
very surprised, size of her.
620
00:36:58,700 --> 00:37:02,090
Well... Why're you...?
What're you...? Whose is it?
621
00:37:02,100 --> 00:37:05,490
That's the 64 million question.
622
00:37:05,500 --> 00:37:08,050
Shall we start at the beginning?
623
00:37:08,060 --> 00:37:12,570
Well, surprise, surprise,
it turns out Raff's a bit of a...
624
00:37:12,580 --> 00:37:16,250
muck lump just like his mother.
And... You know what?
625
00:37:16,260 --> 00:37:20,010
She insisted on Alan
racing over here.
626
00:37:20,020 --> 00:37:22,610
She'll be wanting to tap money
off him.
627
00:37:22,620 --> 00:37:26,250
They're already hard up,
and now with a baby on the way.
628
00:37:26,260 --> 00:37:27,690
Sorry, so...?
629
00:37:27,700 --> 00:37:31,410
Raff's put his girlfriend
in the pudding club.
630
00:37:31,420 --> 00:37:34,770
And she's not dared tell anyone
until it's too late,
631
00:37:34,780 --> 00:37:36,570
and she's just gone into labour.
632
00:37:36,580 --> 00:37:40,170
Just now, just this morning,
that's why we're here.
633
00:37:40,180 --> 00:37:42,930
But you needn't worry, love.
On the money front.
634
00:37:42,940 --> 00:37:44,500
I'll not be taken in.
635
00:37:46,980 --> 00:37:48,610
Did you talk to Kate?
636
00:37:48,620 --> 00:37:49,770
Oh, yeah.
637
00:37:49,780 --> 00:37:51,650
Yeah. Yeah.
638
00:37:51,660 --> 00:37:54,170
And...? Is she on board?
639
00:37:54,180 --> 00:37:58,220
In... Yeah, theory.
You don't sound convinced.
640
00:38:00,660 --> 00:38:04,410
No, she's... Obviously
it's a big thing to ask.
641
00:38:04,420 --> 00:38:07,570
Don't take this the wrong way...
What?
642
00:38:07,580 --> 00:38:09,260
Isn't it a bit soon?
643
00:38:10,380 --> 00:38:13,130
To be asking her to buy a house
with you?
644
00:38:13,140 --> 00:38:17,610
I know you're very fond of her, and
I'm not saying anything about that.
645
00:38:17,620 --> 00:38:19,540
But you've only been together
five minutes.
646
00:38:21,020 --> 00:38:22,420
I can't sell that house.
647
00:38:26,660 --> 00:38:30,250
Oh, I'll have to go, love.
I'll talk to you later, bye.
648
00:38:30,260 --> 00:38:31,850
Where is she?
649
00:38:31,860 --> 00:38:33,340
They're through here.
650
00:38:43,900 --> 00:38:45,540
He'll be here any minute.
651
00:38:46,660 --> 00:38:48,610
Sorry, what was your name again?
652
00:38:48,620 --> 00:38:51,850
Alan! I'm Grandad. Apparently.
653
00:38:51,860 --> 00:38:54,180
Deep! Really inhale it.
654
00:38:55,780 --> 00:38:57,530
Great-grandad.
655
00:38:57,540 --> 00:38:58,730
Sorry?
656
00:38:58,740 --> 00:39:01,650
Great-grandad.
Won't you be its great-grandad?
657
00:39:01,660 --> 00:39:03,140
Oh, aye.
658
00:39:05,380 --> 00:39:06,820
It's one of these.
659
00:39:08,300 --> 00:39:11,730
Are you looking for someone?
Ellie. Ellie Weaver.
660
00:39:11,740 --> 00:39:13,100
Just down here.
661
00:39:15,340 --> 00:39:16,460
I don't want a baby.
662
00:39:17,700 --> 00:39:19,300
I'm too young to have a baby.
663
00:39:20,540 --> 00:39:22,370
I don't even know
what you do with babies.
664
00:39:22,380 --> 00:39:24,130
You'll work it out soon enough.
665
00:39:24,140 --> 00:39:25,890
What if I don't like it?
666
00:39:25,900 --> 00:39:28,890
What if it's got something wrong
with it?
667
00:39:28,900 --> 00:39:30,970
What if it's got more than one head?
668
00:39:30,980 --> 00:39:33,810
Well, there's no sending 'em back.
It won't have.
669
00:39:33,820 --> 00:39:38,130
Why haven't we evolved better?
This is medieval.
670
00:39:38,140 --> 00:39:41,290
I'm going to be split in two,
I'm going to die. No you're not.
671
00:39:41,300 --> 00:39:44,530
I'm not ready for this,
I'm not even here.
672
00:39:44,540 --> 00:39:46,860
You're going to be absolutely fine.
673
00:39:48,020 --> 00:39:50,020
Did you two get married yesterday?
674
00:39:51,300 --> 00:39:52,930
We did, yes.
675
00:39:52,940 --> 00:39:54,570
And not tell anyone?
676
00:39:54,580 --> 00:39:56,130
That's right.
677
00:39:56,140 --> 00:39:57,180
Why?
678
00:39:58,260 --> 00:40:02,210
Just...to be different, really.
Romantic.
679
00:40:02,220 --> 00:40:03,500
And was it?
680
00:40:04,540 --> 00:40:05,820
Well...
681
00:40:09,100 --> 00:40:10,860
Everybody happy.
682
00:40:12,780 --> 00:40:14,180
Say cheese!
683
00:40:17,820 --> 00:40:19,100
..it was memorable.
684
00:40:21,340 --> 00:40:22,770
Now who've we got?
685
00:40:22,780 --> 00:40:26,010
Ah, this is my grandson.
This is so weird.
686
00:40:26,020 --> 00:40:27,570
And you're the father?
687
00:40:27,580 --> 00:40:29,490
Yeah. You all right?
688
00:40:29,500 --> 00:40:30,810
And I'm his mother.
689
00:40:30,820 --> 00:40:33,890
I'm not really comfortable with
the fact that this is happening.
690
00:40:33,900 --> 00:40:37,050
In fact, I'm inclined to suggest
that it isn't.
691
00:40:37,060 --> 00:40:41,450
I am firmly of the opinion
that I'm not really here.
692
00:40:41,460 --> 00:40:43,490
She's been at the Entonox.
693
00:40:43,500 --> 00:40:48,210
Right, so, she's between three
and four centimetres dilated.
694
00:40:48,220 --> 00:40:52,290
It's going to be good few hours
before the fun really starts, so...
695
00:40:52,300 --> 00:40:56,060
I'm not actually her mother.
Her mother isn't actually here.
696
00:40:57,100 --> 00:40:58,380
Ellie?
697
00:41:00,220 --> 00:41:04,130
Have you rung your mum?
698
00:41:04,140 --> 00:41:05,580
No.
699
00:41:06,780 --> 00:41:08,810
D'you think you should?
700
00:41:08,820 --> 00:41:10,860
Because if you don't, I will.
701
00:41:23,660 --> 00:41:26,900
The night Caroline was born,
I lost three pints of blood.
702
00:41:28,020 --> 00:41:30,380
I nearly died. Did you? Mm-hm.
703
00:41:31,900 --> 00:41:34,620
I could feel myself
going down this tunnel.
704
00:41:36,100 --> 00:41:37,860
Odd thing was, I didn't mind.
705
00:41:39,100 --> 00:41:40,730
I just thought...
706
00:41:40,740 --> 00:41:43,180
"So this is it,
this is what it's like."
707
00:41:45,780 --> 00:41:48,290
And I nearly got to the end.
708
00:41:48,300 --> 00:41:50,500
And then it got slower,
and slower.
709
00:41:51,900 --> 00:41:55,850
I realised I was going backwards.
Back the way I'd come.
710
00:41:55,860 --> 00:41:59,420
And that must've been when
they gave me the blood transfusion.
711
00:42:02,660 --> 00:42:04,540
D'you think it is his? Raff's?
712
00:42:06,540 --> 00:42:10,020
They were at a party. I asked him.
They'd been drinking.
713
00:42:11,220 --> 00:42:13,620
Malibu or something. And....
714
00:42:15,860 --> 00:42:18,820
I think they're genuinely
very fond of each other.
715
00:42:20,940 --> 00:42:24,890
They're the same age we were
that day when you asked me out at
716
00:42:24,900 --> 00:42:27,570
the top of Elizabeth Street in 1953.
717
00:42:27,580 --> 00:42:29,130
D'you remember?
718
00:42:29,140 --> 00:42:32,890
I'd just started at Jessops.
I had a new suit.
719
00:42:32,900 --> 00:42:34,700
You'd just started at Co-op.
720
00:42:35,820 --> 00:42:37,970
God.
721
00:42:37,980 --> 00:42:41,290
We'd have never carried on
like that at that age, would we?
722
00:42:41,300 --> 00:42:43,060
No. But they do now. So...
723
00:42:44,260 --> 00:42:46,930
People had more self-respect.
724
00:42:46,940 --> 00:42:52,650
Well, we hadn't had the benefit
of the swinging '60s in 1953, had we?
725
00:42:52,660 --> 00:42:55,100
You're not going to make out
like it's a good thing.
726
00:42:58,780 --> 00:43:00,220
I'm very good with babies.
727
00:43:01,860 --> 00:43:03,530
I'm sure you are.
728
00:43:03,540 --> 00:43:06,770
They tend to like me.
I don't know why.
729
00:43:06,780 --> 00:43:09,610
They can probably sense
you're as daft as they are.
730
00:43:09,620 --> 00:43:10,980
Yes. That'll be it.
731
00:43:14,300 --> 00:43:17,500
I never thought I'd live to be
a great-grandad.
732
00:43:18,900 --> 00:43:20,060
Well...
733
00:43:21,220 --> 00:43:25,010
We're not entirely sure
that you are one yet. Are we?
734
00:43:25,020 --> 00:43:26,650
I'd have to help 'em out.
735
00:43:26,660 --> 00:43:28,170
In the money department.
736
00:43:28,180 --> 00:43:31,290
If that's what's needed.
You know that, don't you?
737
00:43:31,300 --> 00:43:33,850
I'm not having that lad
leaving school,
738
00:43:33,860 --> 00:43:37,260
he could get in at a university,
the way he's heading.
739
00:43:38,820 --> 00:43:41,170
Well, OK.
740
00:43:41,180 --> 00:43:46,250
Just as long as you know that
I can't see Caroline short either.
741
00:43:46,260 --> 00:43:47,780
Over this house business.
742
00:43:49,660 --> 00:43:51,210
How's it going?
743
00:43:51,220 --> 00:43:53,130
Slowly.
744
00:43:53,140 --> 00:43:54,450
Poor kid, she's terrified.
745
00:43:54,460 --> 00:43:55,970
I can't get hold of her mum and dad.
746
00:43:55,980 --> 00:43:58,690
I've left messages to ring me
on both their mobiles,
747
00:43:58,700 --> 00:44:01,130
and their landline, and nothing.
748
00:44:01,140 --> 00:44:02,500
What's up with 'em?
749
00:44:04,580 --> 00:44:06,850
They're probably in shock,
aren't they?
750
00:44:06,860 --> 00:44:08,370
Same as everybody else.
751
00:44:08,380 --> 00:44:12,490
Still, you'd not think they'd
turn their back on her, would you?
752
00:44:12,500 --> 00:44:14,890
Perhaps they're Christians.
753
00:44:14,900 --> 00:44:16,850
Listen, I've got stuff
to see to at home,
754
00:44:16,860 --> 00:44:19,970
I haven't fed stock in lower field,
it won't take me long.
755
00:44:19,980 --> 00:44:22,290
Can you hang about here?
Just for a couple of hours?
756
00:44:22,300 --> 00:44:23,970
Just until I get back?
757
00:44:23,980 --> 00:44:26,450
Just in case Raff
needs a bit of support.
758
00:44:26,460 --> 00:44:27,500
Can we?
759
00:44:28,860 --> 00:44:32,220
I don't think he believes it's
happening either. Course we can.
760
00:44:40,340 --> 00:44:42,810
I let myself in.
What's all this?
761
00:44:42,820 --> 00:44:45,770
I've collected some of my stuff
from the house.
762
00:44:45,780 --> 00:44:48,940
I'm going to look at getting a flat
near the university.
763
00:44:51,140 --> 00:44:54,610
What happened to digging your
heels in and pissing her off?
764
00:44:54,620 --> 00:44:56,810
They've dropped me,
Kershaw and Whittle.
765
00:44:56,820 --> 00:44:59,170
Francis Hilliard sent me
an e-mail last week.
766
00:44:59,180 --> 00:45:00,540
They've...?
767
00:45:01,900 --> 00:45:04,970
I don't know why I'm that surprised.
768
00:45:04,980 --> 00:45:07,010
It's been obvious for ages
that you've lost it.
769
00:45:07,020 --> 00:45:08,930
What're you talking about?
770
00:45:08,940 --> 00:45:11,210
I don't even know
if you ever really had it.
771
00:45:11,220 --> 00:45:13,050
"Had it." What?
772
00:45:13,060 --> 00:45:15,170
That fire. That real passion.
773
00:45:15,180 --> 00:45:17,690
I think you were just lucky
for a while.
774
00:45:17,700 --> 00:45:20,330
You have no idea. You know...
775
00:45:20,340 --> 00:45:23,850
the trouble with you is that you've
never really lived life on the edge.
776
00:45:23,860 --> 00:45:26,450
Have you? You've never really
taken a risk with anything.
777
00:45:26,460 --> 00:45:30,170
You've never really dared to do
anything properly dangerous.
778
00:45:30,180 --> 00:45:31,250
You just...
779
00:45:31,260 --> 00:45:35,650
You just fiddle-faddle around near
the boundaries a bit, don't you?
780
00:45:35,660 --> 00:45:39,380
Pretending. But you never actually
push them like a real writer.
781
00:45:40,780 --> 00:45:42,410
You're terrified.
782
00:45:42,420 --> 00:45:44,690
Given the choice,
if she'd have you back,
783
00:45:44,700 --> 00:45:47,250
you'd go crawling back to Caroline,
wouldn't you?
784
00:45:47,260 --> 00:45:50,050
With your tail between your knees.
785
00:45:50,060 --> 00:45:53,260
What do you want, John?
What do you really, really want?
786
00:45:54,460 --> 00:45:55,970
You don't have to answer that,
787
00:45:55,980 --> 00:45:58,050
I'm not really interested.
788
00:45:58,060 --> 00:45:59,410
But whatever it is,
789
00:45:59,420 --> 00:46:03,050
can you piss off out of my flat
and chase after it
790
00:46:03,060 --> 00:46:05,130
for once in your life?
791
00:46:05,140 --> 00:46:07,660
Instead of just clinging on to
what's familiar.
792
00:46:19,140 --> 00:46:21,140
Do they snog? I don't know.
793
00:46:22,700 --> 00:46:23,740
Do they do sex?
794
00:46:25,700 --> 00:46:26,860
I don't know.
795
00:46:28,180 --> 00:46:29,930
Why don't you
go and live with your dad
796
00:46:29,940 --> 00:46:32,770
if Miss McKenzie's going to start
telling the boss fibs about you?
797
00:46:32,780 --> 00:46:34,940
I might do.
798
00:46:41,860 --> 00:46:44,690
Like I say, if you think
it's a non-starter, then I...
799
00:46:44,700 --> 00:46:47,330
I mean, I do know it's a minefield.
800
00:46:47,340 --> 00:46:50,010
I do know that you might not want to
go through all that again.
801
00:46:50,020 --> 00:46:53,410
And certainly not with a child
that isn't... But it would be yours,
802
00:46:53,420 --> 00:46:55,770
is the point, ours.
803
00:46:55,780 --> 00:46:58,530
How? I mean, how would...?
804
00:46:58,540 --> 00:47:03,370
Oh, well, obviously a donor. Who?
805
00:47:03,380 --> 00:47:07,850
OK, so, there's this person
I was at university with.
806
00:47:07,860 --> 00:47:13,130
And ever since I've not been married
to Richard any more, I've often...
807
00:47:13,140 --> 00:47:17,050
occasionally thought that if I ever
did manage to have a baby,
808
00:47:17,060 --> 00:47:20,170
he's someone I would ask, possibly.
809
00:47:20,180 --> 00:47:21,690
Who is he?
810
00:47:21,700 --> 00:47:23,210
He's called Greg.
811
00:47:23,220 --> 00:47:26,780
And I went out with him for a bit
when we were at Durham.
812
00:47:30,140 --> 00:47:32,210
We slept together, is the point,
813
00:47:32,220 --> 00:47:37,450
so he's nice, he's clever, he's good,
he's a really good person.
814
00:47:37,460 --> 00:47:39,810
He's... That's why I thought of him.
815
00:47:39,820 --> 00:47:42,610
He's like you.
He's one of the grown-ups.
816
00:47:42,620 --> 00:47:44,210
Why didn't you marry him?
817
00:47:44,220 --> 00:47:45,420
Will you meet him?
818
00:47:46,860 --> 00:47:48,450
I'm not part of the equation.
819
00:47:48,460 --> 00:47:50,690
No! No. God, Caroline.
820
00:47:50,700 --> 00:47:53,050
The only people
who are part of the equation
821
00:47:53,060 --> 00:47:54,940
are you and me and the baby.
822
00:47:56,100 --> 00:47:57,570
So...
823
00:47:57,580 --> 00:48:00,370
OK, so, have you...
824
00:48:00,380 --> 00:48:02,450
done any research as regards...?
825
00:48:02,460 --> 00:48:04,890
We could go down the medical route.
Which is...?
826
00:48:04,900 --> 00:48:07,890
Complicated. Lengthy.
And the thing is...
827
00:48:07,900 --> 00:48:12,570
because I have slept with him before,
300 years ago,
828
00:48:12,580 --> 00:48:14,300
we could just do it.
829
00:48:18,420 --> 00:48:21,130
I mean, he might not agree
to any of this.
830
00:48:21,140 --> 00:48:24,010
I think he probably would.
831
00:48:24,020 --> 00:48:26,890
He's not married, he has been,
832
00:48:26,900 --> 00:48:29,450
and apparently that is the best way
of getting pregnant
833
00:48:29,460 --> 00:48:31,300
rather than any sort of artificial...
834
00:48:32,620 --> 00:48:35,170
Has he got children
from his marriage? No.
835
00:48:35,180 --> 00:48:37,410
Is he firing blanks? Oh.
836
00:48:37,420 --> 00:48:38,610
Does he want children?
837
00:48:38,620 --> 00:48:41,690
I don't... It's not really about
whether he wants children, is it?
838
00:48:41,700 --> 00:48:43,650
It's more about whether he's willing.
839
00:48:43,660 --> 00:48:46,250
Why did his marriage break down?
I don't know the ins and outs.
840
00:48:46,260 --> 00:48:48,290
He's obviously someone
you keep in touch with.
841
00:48:48,300 --> 00:48:50,850
Yeah. Christmas cards.
When we still did Christmas cards.
842
00:48:50,860 --> 00:48:52,850
Now it's just the odd e-mail. When?
843
00:48:52,860 --> 00:48:55,210
When his marriage broke down.
When mine did.
844
00:48:55,220 --> 00:48:56,340
He knows about you.
845
00:48:59,660 --> 00:49:01,730
I need to meet him. You will!
846
00:49:01,740 --> 00:49:03,140
And this is all...
847
00:49:04,620 --> 00:49:06,900
I've not discussed it with him.
He might just say no.
848
00:49:08,180 --> 00:49:09,570
Maybe I shouldn't meet him.
849
00:49:09,580 --> 00:49:13,170
It so isn't about him. No. It is.
850
00:49:13,180 --> 00:49:16,700
I don't want you getting sperm
from just anywhere. No, course.
851
00:49:18,900 --> 00:49:21,260
Do we know anyone else? No.
852
00:49:24,660 --> 00:49:26,210
Why didn't you and Richard?
853
00:49:26,220 --> 00:49:27,930
We did. Four times.
854
00:49:27,940 --> 00:49:29,060
I lost them all.
855
00:49:31,380 --> 00:49:32,500
I didn't know that.
856
00:49:33,580 --> 00:49:35,220
I never got beyond 12 weeks.
857
00:49:36,620 --> 00:49:37,980
Oh, God.
858
00:49:39,460 --> 00:49:40,660
Oh, I'm sorry.
859
00:49:42,700 --> 00:49:45,610
Caroline, if you think
it's a daft idea, just say...
860
00:49:45,620 --> 00:49:47,650
I don't think it's a daft idea.
861
00:49:47,660 --> 00:49:49,970
You've obviously...
862
00:49:49,980 --> 00:49:53,500
thought about it a lot
and it obviously means a lot.
863
00:49:55,300 --> 00:49:58,570
I mean, it's fundamental, babies,
isn't it?
864
00:49:58,580 --> 00:50:01,170
Who am I to say no,
it's your life, it's your body.
865
00:50:01,180 --> 00:50:03,450
no, I know. It is, but...
866
00:50:03,460 --> 00:50:05,380
I wouldn't want to do it on my own.
No.
867
00:50:07,980 --> 00:50:11,450
We would be talking sleepless nights
and nappies.
868
00:50:11,460 --> 00:50:14,050
And years of angst
and teenage tantrums.
869
00:50:14,060 --> 00:50:15,170
Oh, I can do all of that.
870
00:50:15,180 --> 00:50:18,740
You're 46. It's not really what you'd
planned to do next, is it, babies?
871
00:50:20,660 --> 00:50:21,780
No.
872
00:50:26,580 --> 00:50:28,170
I wonder how my mother's getting on?
873
00:50:28,180 --> 00:50:30,890
She was delivering a baby last time
I spoke to her.
874
00:50:30,900 --> 00:50:33,530
Your mother was delivering a baby.
875
00:50:33,540 --> 00:50:35,460
Well, she said she was.
876
00:50:36,460 --> 00:50:37,970
Whose?
877
00:50:37,980 --> 00:50:41,570
Is there anything
that woman doesn't get up to?
878
00:50:41,580 --> 00:50:43,530
Somebody else'll be doing
all the hard work.
879
00:50:43,540 --> 00:50:46,330
She'll just be standing
near the door making droll comments.
880
00:50:46,340 --> 00:50:48,250
I think we're ready
to start pushing, Ellie!
881
00:50:49,380 --> 00:50:51,450
Can you turn that off, please?
I'm sorry.
882
00:50:51,460 --> 00:50:53,530
Can you feel the contraction coming?
Yeah!
883
00:50:53,540 --> 00:50:54,900
Right, well, I want you to push.
884
00:50:57,300 --> 00:51:00,290
I'm sorry, I'm going
to have to sit down.
885
00:51:00,300 --> 00:51:03,250
Perhaps you could take Raff out into
the corridor for a few minutes.
886
00:51:03,260 --> 00:51:04,690
Come on, lad.
887
00:51:04,700 --> 00:51:08,010
What about me?
Grandad's still here.
888
00:51:08,020 --> 00:51:11,970
It's all right, love!
You're doing very well.
889
00:51:11,980 --> 00:51:14,340
Put your head between your knees.
890
00:51:15,620 --> 00:51:19,340
I should be able to do this,
I can deliver lambs, no problem.
891
00:51:30,380 --> 00:51:32,180
Would you like a mint imperial?
892
00:51:34,220 --> 00:51:36,810
I want a thing!
I want an injection!
893
00:51:36,820 --> 00:51:38,850
I want painkillers!
I want everything!
894
00:51:38,860 --> 00:51:41,010
I think it'd be better
if you can do it without.
895
00:51:41,020 --> 00:51:42,810
Keep pushing, love. Keep pushing!
896
00:51:42,820 --> 00:51:44,970
Yeah, you just keep squeezing
Grandad's hand.
897
00:51:44,980 --> 00:51:46,490
He's not me grandad!
898
00:51:46,500 --> 00:51:49,690
No, I know I'm not,
but I don't mind, we can pretend.
899
00:51:49,700 --> 00:51:51,450
I want my grandad.
900
00:51:51,460 --> 00:51:54,410
Well, I can ring him
if you think he'll answer his phone.
901
00:51:54,420 --> 00:51:56,170
Look in my phone book.
902
00:51:56,180 --> 00:51:59,770
You'll have to go out
into the corridor to make that call.
903
00:51:59,780 --> 00:52:01,090
What's it under?
904
00:52:01,100 --> 00:52:03,490
Grandad! What do you think?
905
00:52:03,500 --> 00:52:04,850
Good, it makes sense.
906
00:52:04,860 --> 00:52:06,730
And what's his name?
907
00:52:06,740 --> 00:52:08,850
Harry. Harry Wallace.
908
00:52:08,860 --> 00:52:12,090
Harry Wallace is your grandad?!
909
00:52:12,100 --> 00:52:13,610
What's up with that?
910
00:52:13,620 --> 00:52:15,250
Nothing. We're...
911
00:52:15,260 --> 00:52:17,660
Hurry up! Get him rung!
912
00:52:33,860 --> 00:52:35,010
Hello?
913
00:52:35,020 --> 00:52:36,410
Gillian.
914
00:52:36,420 --> 00:52:38,050
Speaking.
915
00:52:38,060 --> 00:52:39,420
How's things? Why?
916
00:52:40,620 --> 00:52:42,850
Just wanted to
run something past you.
917
00:52:42,860 --> 00:52:44,260
Quickly.
918
00:52:46,140 --> 00:52:49,330
OK. Well. I know you said
you're seeing Robbie.
919
00:52:49,340 --> 00:52:51,210
But frankly...I think you and me
920
00:52:51,220 --> 00:52:53,610
both know that's just a disaster
waiting to happen.
921
00:52:53,620 --> 00:52:54,980
Really? Really.
922
00:52:56,220 --> 00:52:59,330
You also indicated that you were
in need of some sort of investment...
923
00:52:59,340 --> 00:53:00,690
in the farm.
924
00:53:00,700 --> 00:53:03,810
Your publisher's just dumped you,
I'm not thick.
925
00:53:03,820 --> 00:53:06,970
Caroline wants to buy
my half of the house.
926
00:53:06,980 --> 00:53:08,970
I think we'll be looking at...
927
00:53:08,980 --> 00:53:11,700
400, 450,000. Cash.
928
00:53:14,060 --> 00:53:16,090
You think you can just buy me?
929
00:53:16,100 --> 00:53:17,580
No. I just thought...
930
00:53:20,940 --> 00:53:22,660
Are you doing anything this weekend?
931
00:53:25,420 --> 00:53:27,010
What did y'have in mind?
932
00:53:27,020 --> 00:53:28,860
Anything. All sorts.
933
00:53:30,900 --> 00:53:32,500
Can we have this conversation later?
934
00:54:02,140 --> 00:54:05,330
What are you doing here?
It's a girl. Six pound, three ounces.
935
00:54:05,340 --> 00:54:06,370
Did you know?
936
00:54:06,380 --> 00:54:09,610
Ellie's my grandaughter. This is
her mum, my daughter, Yvonne.
937
00:54:09,620 --> 00:54:11,370
Yvonne, Gillian.
938
00:54:11,380 --> 00:54:12,450
I've been ringing you.
939
00:54:12,460 --> 00:54:14,970
We had no idea. We didn't even
know that she was pregnant.
940
00:54:14,980 --> 00:54:17,370
She said you'd chucked her out.
She never even told us!
941
00:54:17,380 --> 00:54:20,210
Did you not get my messages? I've
been in meetings all day at work,
942
00:54:20,220 --> 00:54:22,410
I only got wind of it
when Dad phoned my secretary.
943
00:54:22,420 --> 00:54:23,730
Alastair's going to go mad,
944
00:54:23,740 --> 00:54:25,810
he's going
to go through the bloody ceiling.
945
00:54:25,820 --> 00:54:28,610
Has your son never heard of condoms?
Eh, don't you start on my son.
946
00:54:28,620 --> 00:54:31,650
What's your daughter doing putting
it about so much? Now, steady on.
947
00:54:31,660 --> 00:54:34,140
We don't even know it is Raff's.
Keep calm. And you an' all.
948
00:54:36,540 --> 00:54:38,260
So...it's a girl?
949
00:54:39,500 --> 00:54:42,130
They're just giving her
a few stitches, Ellie,
950
00:54:42,140 --> 00:54:44,380
then we can go and have a look.
951
00:55:02,020 --> 00:55:04,850
Yeah, but it's a bit interesting
that she did lie, isn't it?
952
00:55:04,860 --> 00:55:07,050
Don't you make judgement about me,
about my family.
953
00:55:07,060 --> 00:55:09,250
Nobody's making judgement, love.
I'm just saying.
954
00:55:09,260 --> 00:55:11,810
It's a bit interesting
that she couldn't tell her own mum.
955
00:55:11,820 --> 00:55:14,860
Are you listening to this? Dad!
I'm staying out of it.
956
00:55:17,700 --> 00:55:21,970
Well, we've got married
and had a baby in just 48 hours.
957
00:55:21,980 --> 00:55:24,690
We're on fire.
We're cooking with gas.
958
00:55:24,700 --> 00:55:26,460
There's no stopping us.
959
00:55:35,700 --> 00:55:37,610
You're...
960
00:55:37,620 --> 00:55:40,010
It's poisonous
saying something like that,
961
00:55:40,020 --> 00:55:42,010
you don't even know us,
you don't know me.
962
00:55:42,020 --> 00:55:43,850
You know she doesn't like you.
963
00:55:43,860 --> 00:55:46,530
Shit-stirrer.
Don't you dare!
964
00:55:46,540 --> 00:55:48,770
Oh, they know it all, don't they?
965
00:55:48,780 --> 00:55:51,020
Except how to avoid
getting pregnant.
966
00:55:52,380 --> 00:55:54,060
I want to be somebody's mum.
967
00:55:55,140 --> 00:55:57,890
It's true, she does want a baby.
How?
968
00:55:57,900 --> 00:56:01,340
It's going to get very confused
about who its mother is.
969
00:56:03,180 --> 00:56:04,500
Ambulance.
73867
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