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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,679 --> 00:00:06,428 [puppet] Previously on Kidding... 2 00:00:06,512 --> 00:00:07,804 Have you ever wanted to turn back time? 3 00:00:07,887 --> 00:00:09,095 ...my proposal 4 00:00:09,178 --> 00:00:12,553 that this proposal is a real proposal to propose. 5 00:00:12,637 --> 00:00:14,053 Can you live with that? 6 00:00:14,136 --> 00:00:15,303 ♪ I'm angry at God and I'm angry at Jill ♪ 7 00:00:15,387 --> 00:00:16,637 ♪ She was driving the car ♪ 8 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:18,470 ♪ It's her fault we lost Phil! ♪ [gasps] 9 00:00:18,553 --> 00:00:19,679 [Will] I wanna show you something 10 00:00:19,762 --> 00:00:21,637 that I found in Mom's closet. 11 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:23,345 What is this? 12 00:00:23,679 --> 00:00:25,303 [hoofbeats approaching] 13 00:00:25,387 --> 00:00:28,053 ♪ exciting music ♪ 14 00:00:29,970 --> 00:00:31,929 [horse whinnies] 15 00:00:32,011 --> 00:00:33,470 [swords swish] 16 00:00:33,553 --> 00:00:38,637 ♪♪♪ 17 00:00:42,804 --> 00:00:45,053 ♪ tinkling bells ♪ 18 00:00:45,929 --> 00:00:48,887 ♪ romantic acoustic music ♪ 19 00:00:48,970 --> 00:00:51,887 ♪♪♪ 20 00:00:51,970 --> 00:00:55,095 speaking Tibetan 21 00:00:57,428 --> 00:01:02,345 speaking Tibetan 22 00:01:10,595 --> 00:01:15,512 singing in Tibetan 23 00:01:30,637 --> 00:01:35,804 ♪♪♪ 24 00:01:37,261 --> 00:01:41,595 speaking Tibetan solemnly 25 00:01:52,970 --> 00:01:55,553 speaking Tibetan 26 00:01:55,637 --> 00:01:57,637 [horse chuffs] 27 00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:02,136 speaking Tibetan 28 00:02:04,303 --> 00:02:07,387 ♪ rushing music ♪ 29 00:02:07,470 --> 00:02:12,303 ♪♪♪ 30 00:02:20,011 --> 00:02:21,178 ♪ abrupt chime ♪ 31 00:02:27,053 --> 00:02:29,804 ♪ gentle harp and bell music ♪ 32 00:02:29,887 --> 00:02:35,011 ♪♪♪ 33 00:02:37,553 --> 00:02:39,136 [Jill] "Begin by closing your eyes 34 00:02:39,220 --> 00:02:43,470 and seeing the moment in time you'd like to return to. 35 00:02:43,553 --> 00:02:46,929 Now surround yourself with the past." 36 00:02:47,011 --> 00:02:51,178 ♪♪♪ 37 00:02:53,011 --> 00:02:55,553 "This trick, if you can call it a trick, 38 00:02:55,637 --> 00:02:58,136 is incredibly difficult to pull off. 39 00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:01,303 It all depends on one thing"-- 40 00:03:05,929 --> 00:03:07,387 [Will] I'm sorry. 41 00:03:09,220 --> 00:03:10,679 - [Jill] For what? - Dad's right. 42 00:03:10,762 --> 00:03:12,804 It's important to be honest. 43 00:03:12,887 --> 00:03:14,887 [inhales, exhales] 44 00:03:29,095 --> 00:03:31,345 Who are these wonderful people? 45 00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:34,804 I made this decision without you for a number of reasons. 46 00:03:34,887 --> 00:03:36,470 Kidneys. Heart. 47 00:03:36,553 --> 00:03:37,804 Lungs. Liver. 48 00:03:37,887 --> 00:03:39,887 [breath heaves] 49 00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:41,970 So much of him is still here. 50 00:03:42,053 --> 00:03:44,053 I'm sorry. 51 00:03:44,136 --> 00:03:46,553 These are the friends you don't get to have. 52 00:03:48,387 --> 00:03:50,845 He's breathing our air. 53 00:03:50,929 --> 00:03:53,011 His eyes read. 54 00:03:53,095 --> 00:03:54,553 A 15-minute ride away, 55 00:03:54,637 --> 00:03:56,887 his heart beats in a woman's chest. 56 00:03:56,970 --> 00:04:00,178 He saved seven lives. 57 00:04:00,261 --> 00:04:02,679 But I'd trade 'em all for one more hour with him. 58 00:04:04,220 --> 00:04:06,178 Did you read them? 59 00:04:06,261 --> 00:04:08,136 They're not mine to read. They're Phil's. 60 00:04:08,220 --> 00:04:09,929 They're Phil's gifts. 61 00:04:10,011 --> 00:04:12,011 Not yours. 62 00:04:12,095 --> 00:04:15,136 I wanted him to have this for himself. 63 00:04:15,804 --> 00:04:17,387 If you knew, you would've reached out. 64 00:04:17,470 --> 00:04:19,220 You would've answered all of these letters. 65 00:04:19,303 --> 00:04:20,595 You would've invited them all to Thanksgiving. 66 00:04:20,679 --> 00:04:21,970 I'd be passing the sweet potatoes 67 00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:23,470 to his fucking pancreas. 68 00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:25,261 The headlines would read, 69 00:04:25,345 --> 00:04:27,053 "Jeff Pickles saves seven lives," 70 00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:29,720 but Jeff Pickles did not save seven lives. 71 00:04:29,804 --> 00:04:31,220 Phil did. 72 00:04:31,303 --> 00:04:33,220 That was his gift to them, 73 00:04:33,303 --> 00:04:35,220 and not telling you was my gift to him. 74 00:04:35,303 --> 00:04:36,845 The headlines would not have read, 75 00:04:36,929 --> 00:04:38,720 "Jeff Pickles saves lives." 76 00:04:38,804 --> 00:04:40,845 They did when you hit my boyfriend with your car. 77 00:04:40,929 --> 00:04:43,512 Are you gonna bring that up every time we have a fight? 78 00:04:43,595 --> 00:04:45,053 [sighs] 79 00:04:45,136 --> 00:04:46,178 I was so angry 80 00:04:46,261 --> 00:04:48,553 when that man threw that flaming pickle jar 81 00:04:48,637 --> 00:04:50,053 at the wrong house. 82 00:04:50,136 --> 00:04:51,261 How could you say that? 83 00:04:51,345 --> 00:04:53,720 I could have begun again... 84 00:04:53,804 --> 00:04:55,220 could move. 85 00:04:56,345 --> 00:04:57,970 Moving isn't moving on. 86 00:04:59,637 --> 00:05:01,595 Do you want me to move on? 87 00:05:04,261 --> 00:05:05,178 [softly] Yeah. 88 00:05:05,261 --> 00:05:07,428 Then blame me. 89 00:05:07,512 --> 00:05:08,512 For what? 90 00:05:08,595 --> 00:05:10,345 I drove the car. 91 00:05:12,303 --> 00:05:13,512 Blame me. 92 00:05:13,929 --> 00:05:15,428 [no audible dialogue] 93 00:05:15,512 --> 00:05:16,887 I don't understand why you need that. 94 00:05:16,970 --> 00:05:20,387 Because until someone wearing your face said it... 95 00:05:20,470 --> 00:05:22,095 - [Jeff sobs] - I didn't realize how much 96 00:05:22,178 --> 00:05:23,595 I needed to hear it from you. 97 00:05:25,178 --> 00:05:27,428 This is not-- this is... 98 00:05:27,512 --> 00:05:29,095 [whispering] It's not how you heal. 99 00:05:29,178 --> 00:05:30,929 Do you blame me for Phil's death? 100 00:05:31,011 --> 00:05:32,220 I can't give you what you want. 101 00:05:32,303 --> 00:05:35,261 Why won't anyone tell me what I already know? 102 00:05:35,345 --> 00:05:37,595 Why won't anyone let me have that? 103 00:05:37,679 --> 00:05:40,345 No one will let me have that! 104 00:05:42,011 --> 00:05:43,345 But you will. 105 00:05:46,470 --> 00:05:48,470 You'll say what's in your heart. 106 00:05:50,512 --> 00:05:51,720 You wanna sell the house? 107 00:05:51,804 --> 00:05:52,970 Fine. Sell the house. 108 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:54,261 - Blame me. - Stop it. 109 00:05:54,345 --> 00:05:55,428 Blame me. 110 00:05:55,512 --> 00:05:57,136 Blame me. Blame me! 111 00:05:57,220 --> 00:05:58,303 - Stop. - Blame me! 112 00:05:58,387 --> 00:05:59,804 - Don't make me do that. - Do you blame me? 113 00:05:59,887 --> 00:06:01,679 Please, just answer the fucking question! 114 00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:03,303 Do you blame me? 115 00:06:06,845 --> 00:06:09,470 ♪ ragtime jazz ♪ 116 00:06:09,553 --> 00:06:11,804 [dance teacher] And a-one, two, three, four, 117 00:06:11,887 --> 00:06:13,637 five, six. 118 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:14,553 Now knees. 119 00:06:14,637 --> 00:06:16,011 One, two, three, four, 120 00:06:16,095 --> 00:06:17,595 step, five, six. 121 00:06:17,679 --> 00:06:18,887 Good. 122 00:06:18,970 --> 00:06:20,804 [Lisa] Why was Jeff Pickles at jazz night? 123 00:06:20,887 --> 00:06:23,595 [Jill] He wants to teach the Dalai Lama the Charleston. 124 00:06:23,679 --> 00:06:25,428 So I told him to come to class. 125 00:06:25,512 --> 00:06:27,679 [Lisa] How do you two even know each other? 126 00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,595 [Jill] He lives in my building. 127 00:06:29,679 --> 00:06:32,679 [game playing eight-bit version of "You Can Feel"] 128 00:06:32,762 --> 00:06:35,679 [bells dinging] 129 00:06:38,428 --> 00:06:39,679 [Lisa] Did you invite him to the bar? 130 00:06:39,762 --> 00:06:41,011 Yeah. 131 00:06:41,095 --> 00:06:42,011 He said he'd come, but you never know. 132 00:06:42,095 --> 00:06:43,512 Does he drink? 133 00:06:43,595 --> 00:06:45,970 No, but people are always buying him shots, 134 00:06:46,053 --> 00:06:48,053 which is great, 'cause then he gives them to me 135 00:06:48,136 --> 00:06:50,512 and designated-drivers me home. 136 00:06:50,595 --> 00:06:52,220 [Mr. Pickles voice] Nice playing, friend. 137 00:06:52,303 --> 00:06:54,512 Wait, are you fucking Jeff Pickles? 138 00:06:54,595 --> 00:06:56,303 Oh, my God. 139 00:06:56,387 --> 00:06:58,845 So what are the rules? Can we curse around him? 140 00:06:58,929 --> 00:07:01,261 You treat him like a normal person. 141 00:07:01,345 --> 00:07:03,220 Who transitions between the real world 142 00:07:03,303 --> 00:07:04,720 and the magical realm of puppets 143 00:07:04,804 --> 00:07:06,679 via a pickle barrel with a parachute on it. 144 00:07:06,762 --> 00:07:09,512 Just don't, like, pepper him with dumb questions, okay? 145 00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:11,261 Yeah. Obviously. 146 00:07:11,345 --> 00:07:13,887 Is it true you're completely celibate? 147 00:07:13,970 --> 00:07:15,220 Only in Japan. 148 00:07:15,303 --> 00:07:17,095 Do you have a girlfriend? 149 00:07:17,178 --> 00:07:18,053 No. 150 00:07:18,136 --> 00:07:19,428 Is Sy the Wide-Eyed Fly death? 151 00:07:19,512 --> 00:07:21,804 No, but a lot of people ask me that. 152 00:07:21,887 --> 00:07:24,053 Who's the most exciting celebrity you've ever met? 153 00:07:24,136 --> 00:07:25,470 Julie Andrews. 154 00:07:25,553 --> 00:07:27,387 - [Lisa] What? No way! - [Jake laughing] 155 00:07:27,470 --> 00:07:28,887 - Oh, my God. - What was she like? 156 00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:30,387 A hurricane. 157 00:07:30,470 --> 00:07:32,387 Mr. Pickles? 158 00:07:32,470 --> 00:07:33,929 The folks over there wanted you to know 159 00:07:34,011 --> 00:07:36,512 you can drink "anything at all" on their tab. 160 00:07:36,595 --> 00:07:37,637 Ah. 161 00:07:38,470 --> 00:07:41,136 - Thank you. - [Lisa chuckles] 162 00:07:41,220 --> 00:07:42,595 [whistles fanfare] 163 00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:44,053 Charge! 164 00:07:44,136 --> 00:07:46,178 [gulping cartoonishly] 165 00:07:46,261 --> 00:07:48,720 I feel like there's more steps tonight. 166 00:07:48,804 --> 00:07:50,178 They might've put some in. 167 00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:54,261 Did you know that you can actually rent out 168 00:07:54,345 --> 00:07:57,387 the New York Public Library 169 00:07:57,470 --> 00:08:01,595 for a private function for $60,000? 170 00:08:01,679 --> 00:08:03,136 - Why do you know that? - [giggles] 171 00:08:03,220 --> 00:08:04,762 I think I'm gonna puke. 172 00:08:04,845 --> 00:08:07,178 No, you--you're not gonna puke, 'cause you're right here. 173 00:08:07,261 --> 00:08:09,512 Too many people like you. 174 00:08:09,595 --> 00:08:11,220 No. 175 00:08:11,303 --> 00:08:13,095 No one said you had to drink the thank-you drinks. 176 00:08:13,178 --> 00:08:14,303 [both laugh] 177 00:08:14,387 --> 00:08:16,553 - I'm a bag of liquid. - Keys? 178 00:08:16,637 --> 00:08:17,929 I can open my door. 179 00:08:18,011 --> 00:08:19,595 - I know you can. - Stop... 180 00:08:19,679 --> 00:08:21,095 And that's what I'm gonna let you do right now. 181 00:08:21,178 --> 00:08:21,929 ...yelling at me. 182 00:08:22,011 --> 00:08:24,637 [exhales] 183 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:25,762 Whoo! 184 00:08:25,845 --> 00:08:28,512 [both chuckle] 185 00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:30,762 I like your dance friends. 186 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,553 That's good. 187 00:08:35,053 --> 00:08:35,970 Good night. 188 00:08:36,053 --> 00:08:37,387 Good night. 189 00:08:37,470 --> 00:08:40,178 ♪ wholesome acoustic music ♪ 190 00:08:40,261 --> 00:08:45,387 ♪♪♪ 191 00:08:54,553 --> 00:08:57,345 [ragtime jazz playing from Jeff's stereo] 192 00:08:57,428 --> 00:09:02,553 ♪♪♪ 193 00:09:10,804 --> 00:09:12,303 [jazz continuing faintly] 194 00:09:12,387 --> 00:09:15,470 [rhythmic footsteps on ceiling] 195 00:09:15,553 --> 00:09:20,679 ♪♪♪ 196 00:09:23,303 --> 00:09:24,595 [loud knocks at door] 197 00:09:26,512 --> 00:09:27,762 [music stops] 198 00:09:31,762 --> 00:09:33,345 Is the jazz too loud? 199 00:09:33,428 --> 00:09:34,762 Sit down. 200 00:09:39,261 --> 00:09:41,470 On the floor. 201 00:09:41,553 --> 00:09:43,136 Sit down. 202 00:09:43,220 --> 00:09:45,595 Tie your shoelaces together. 203 00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:47,595 [stifles a laugh] 204 00:09:52,762 --> 00:09:54,053 Can I talk? 205 00:09:54,136 --> 00:09:55,845 You'll know when to talk. 206 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:56,804 Okay. 207 00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:58,720 And sit on your hands. 208 00:10:03,011 --> 00:10:04,970 I'm falling for you. 209 00:10:05,053 --> 00:10:06,470 [inhales] 210 00:10:06,553 --> 00:10:07,679 I love you too. 211 00:10:07,762 --> 00:10:09,970 - You need to stop saying that. - I mean it. 212 00:10:10,053 --> 00:10:12,053 But not in the way that I mean it. 213 00:10:12,136 --> 00:10:14,011 It's not unrequited. 214 00:10:14,095 --> 00:10:15,637 Then kiss me. 215 00:10:18,345 --> 00:10:19,637 I don't think I have room in my life 216 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,220 for the kind of relationship you want. 217 00:10:21,303 --> 00:10:23,136 Every time we have this conversation, 218 00:10:23,220 --> 00:10:25,720 I am told to pretend this is something it isn't. 219 00:10:25,804 --> 00:10:29,679 I don't wanna be in a romantic relationship with anyone. 220 00:10:29,762 --> 00:10:31,261 I'm married to my mission. 221 00:10:32,345 --> 00:10:34,887 Look around. I'm a monk. 222 00:10:35,595 --> 00:10:38,011 I'm married to the children of the world. 223 00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:40,178 Well... 224 00:10:40,261 --> 00:10:42,053 enjoy watching The Sound of Music 225 00:10:42,136 --> 00:10:43,679 for the 46th time. 226 00:10:43,762 --> 00:10:44,929 That's not fair. 227 00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:46,845 I hope that you and that bouncing lyric ball 228 00:10:46,929 --> 00:10:50,261 find the happiness you so richly deserve. 229 00:10:50,345 --> 00:10:52,095 I love... 230 00:10:52,178 --> 00:10:53,720 Sorry. 231 00:10:53,804 --> 00:10:55,095 [grunts] 232 00:10:55,178 --> 00:10:57,428 ...our friendship. 233 00:10:57,512 --> 00:10:58,595 I wanna protect it. 234 00:10:58,679 --> 00:11:00,428 This isn't a friendship. 235 00:11:00,512 --> 00:11:02,428 This is me in love with you. 236 00:11:02,512 --> 00:11:04,261 I'm in love with you too... 237 00:11:04,345 --> 00:11:05,595 as a friend. 238 00:11:05,679 --> 00:11:07,762 If we can't be more than friends, 239 00:11:07,845 --> 00:11:09,845 I don't wanna be friends at all. 240 00:11:09,929 --> 00:11:12,261 ♪ melancholy music ♪ 241 00:11:12,345 --> 00:11:15,095 Either this moves forward... 242 00:11:15,178 --> 00:11:16,762 or it doesn't exist. 243 00:11:16,845 --> 00:11:20,720 ♪♪♪ 244 00:11:20,804 --> 00:11:22,470 I don't know what to tell you. 245 00:11:22,553 --> 00:11:26,470 ♪♪♪ 246 00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:29,762 Then it doesn't exist. 247 00:11:29,845 --> 00:11:31,136 Come on. 248 00:11:31,220 --> 00:11:32,970 Don't-- 249 00:11:33,053 --> 00:11:34,011 [sighs] 250 00:11:37,553 --> 00:11:39,720 It's for the best. 251 00:11:42,845 --> 00:11:44,220 - [door clicks shut] - Hey. 252 00:11:45,345 --> 00:11:46,887 How you feeling this morning? 253 00:11:51,470 --> 00:11:52,679 [door clicks open] 254 00:11:52,762 --> 00:11:54,303 [Jill] I'm so excited you came. 255 00:11:54,387 --> 00:11:56,303 [indistinct conversation] 256 00:11:56,387 --> 00:11:59,136 ♪ acoustic guitar music ♪ 257 00:11:59,220 --> 00:12:01,303 ♪♪♪ 258 00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:02,345 I'm gonna warn you: 259 00:12:02,428 --> 00:12:03,720 my friends are really good at trivia. 260 00:12:03,804 --> 00:12:04,679 [chuckles] 261 00:12:04,762 --> 00:12:07,011 You seem like you can keep up. 262 00:12:07,095 --> 00:12:08,845 ♪♪♪ 263 00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,679 [boyfriend, yelling] Maybe you're who you are 264 00:12:10,762 --> 00:12:11,804 - and I'm who I am... - [woman] Oh, really? 265 00:12:11,887 --> 00:12:13,720 ...and we're just never gonna see eye-to-eye 266 00:12:13,804 --> 00:12:15,387 about, I don't know, everything! 267 00:12:15,470 --> 00:12:18,178 ♪♪♪ 268 00:12:18,261 --> 00:12:20,220 [sighs] Jeez. 269 00:12:21,845 --> 00:12:22,762 [door clicks open] 270 00:12:22,845 --> 00:12:24,679 [all giggling] 271 00:12:24,762 --> 00:12:26,095 Wait, should I bring a coat? 272 00:12:26,178 --> 00:12:28,178 [Lisa] No, you'll just get drunk and lose it. 273 00:12:28,261 --> 00:12:29,553 [laughter] 274 00:12:29,637 --> 00:12:31,512 I'm really glad we threw a party. 275 00:12:31,595 --> 00:12:33,762 [laughter fades] 276 00:12:33,845 --> 00:12:35,762 [door clicks open] 277 00:12:37,428 --> 00:12:39,011 [mover] Just--no, like this. 278 00:12:39,095 --> 00:12:40,512 Just hold it like this. 279 00:12:40,595 --> 00:12:41,762 [mover] No, like this, dude. 280 00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:43,387 You do this every time. Hold it like this. 281 00:12:43,470 --> 00:12:45,387 - This is! - No! Like this. 282 00:12:45,470 --> 00:12:47,428 - Like this. - No, like this! 283 00:12:47,512 --> 00:12:50,261 ♪ melancholy vocalizations ♪ 284 00:12:50,345 --> 00:12:51,762 ♪♪♪ 285 00:12:51,845 --> 00:12:54,887 Oh, um, actually... 286 00:12:54,970 --> 00:12:59,387 it is, uh, Second Street, not Second Avenue. 287 00:12:59,470 --> 00:13:00,720 New York, New York, 288 00:13:00,804 --> 00:13:03,845 one-zero-zero-one-three. 289 00:13:03,929 --> 00:13:05,553 Thank you. 290 00:13:05,637 --> 00:13:06,887 Oh, you forgot one. 291 00:13:06,970 --> 00:13:10,470 ♪ Change, it's a lot of things ♪ 292 00:13:10,553 --> 00:13:13,428 ♪ Strange, oh, the fear it brings ♪ 293 00:13:13,512 --> 00:13:14,929 ♪ Change ♪ 294 00:13:15,011 --> 00:13:18,804 ♪ It takes you miles from home ♪ 295 00:13:18,887 --> 00:13:21,387 ♪ It brings your pain ♪ 296 00:13:21,470 --> 00:13:23,178 ♪ Into precious view ♪ 297 00:13:23,261 --> 00:13:26,387 ♪ Strange, but refreshes you ♪ 298 00:13:26,470 --> 00:13:27,762 ♪ Change ♪ 299 00:13:27,845 --> 00:13:31,929 ♪ The ticking of life's metronome ♪ 300 00:13:32,011 --> 00:13:34,595 ♪ I understand why ♪ 301 00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:39,470 ♪ You're contrary, love ♪ 302 00:13:39,553 --> 00:13:41,804 ♪ Change is sweet ♪ 303 00:13:41,887 --> 00:13:46,804 ♪ But scary, love ♪ 304 00:13:46,887 --> 00:13:48,720 From, uh, Sigma Tau Delta. 305 00:13:48,804 --> 00:13:50,178 Okay, thank you. 306 00:13:50,261 --> 00:13:54,970 ♪♪♪ 307 00:13:56,261 --> 00:13:58,762 ♪ I know I'm wry ♪ 308 00:13:58,845 --> 00:14:03,804 ♪ But don't out-wryness me ♪ 309 00:14:03,887 --> 00:14:07,428 ♪ Just be grateful ♪ 310 00:14:07,512 --> 00:14:10,470 ♪ Minus me ♪ 311 00:14:10,553 --> 00:14:14,970 ♪ Change, it's a lot of things ♪ 312 00:14:15,053 --> 00:14:17,345 I miss you. 313 00:14:17,428 --> 00:14:20,136 [ragtime jazz playing] 314 00:14:20,220 --> 00:14:25,303 ♪♪♪ 315 00:14:38,929 --> 00:14:40,303 [knock at door] 316 00:14:40,387 --> 00:14:41,720 May I enter? 317 00:14:43,387 --> 00:14:45,053 Your Holiness. 318 00:14:49,220 --> 00:14:50,595 A gift of thanks 319 00:14:50,679 --> 00:14:53,303 for welcoming me on your program. 320 00:14:53,387 --> 00:14:55,345 I made this creation just for you. 321 00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:58,512 Salvador Dalai Lama. 322 00:14:58,595 --> 00:15:00,512 He loves to paint... 323 00:15:00,595 --> 00:15:02,512 and paints to love. 324 00:15:04,178 --> 00:15:06,428 That's nice. Thank you. 325 00:15:06,512 --> 00:15:09,637 This was not the reaction I was hoping for. 326 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:12,553 - I'm...distracted today. - [Dalai Lama] Mm. 327 00:15:12,637 --> 00:15:13,762 Ah. 328 00:15:16,011 --> 00:15:17,720 What's her name? 329 00:15:17,804 --> 00:15:19,887 It's not-- I-I shouldn't bother you. 330 00:15:19,970 --> 00:15:23,095 I once fell madly in love with a woman. 331 00:15:23,178 --> 00:15:26,428 She had brown hair and brown eyes. 332 00:15:26,512 --> 00:15:28,595 She lived on a mountain. 333 00:15:28,679 --> 00:15:31,345 I was not supposed to love her. 334 00:15:31,428 --> 00:15:32,679 But I did. 335 00:15:32,762 --> 00:15:35,303 And it cost me everything. 336 00:15:35,387 --> 00:15:36,637 When was this? 337 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:39,053 1706. 338 00:15:39,136 --> 00:15:40,220 Ah. 339 00:15:44,970 --> 00:15:48,095 Do you ever regret having a lifestyle that... 340 00:15:48,178 --> 00:15:49,220 [sighs] 341 00:15:49,303 --> 00:15:52,845 ...prevents us from having intimate relationships? 342 00:15:52,929 --> 00:15:54,261 Jeff, 343 00:15:54,345 --> 00:15:56,553 I am a monk. 344 00:15:56,637 --> 00:15:58,553 You are not a monk. 345 00:15:58,637 --> 00:16:02,679 You are children's puppet guy. 346 00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:06,553 The problem with this woman is about you. 347 00:16:06,637 --> 00:16:10,720 Your calling is to raise the world's children. 348 00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:12,970 But perhaps what's stopping you 349 00:16:13,053 --> 00:16:16,178 is that you are afraid to have your own. 350 00:16:19,345 --> 00:16:21,178 [high-pitched voice] Because of your mom 351 00:16:21,261 --> 00:16:23,011 abandoning you. 352 00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:27,011 Is that what you are afraid of? 353 00:16:27,845 --> 00:16:29,428 I'm afraid I'll never be happy. 354 00:16:29,512 --> 00:16:30,887 Mm. 355 00:16:30,970 --> 00:16:34,261 Happiness is a thing 356 00:16:34,345 --> 00:16:36,470 that happens in the now. 357 00:16:36,553 --> 00:16:38,428 It is fleeting. 358 00:16:38,512 --> 00:16:40,136 It exists, 359 00:16:40,220 --> 00:16:41,762 and then it does not. 360 00:16:41,845 --> 00:16:46,095 There is only the pleasure before the pain, 361 00:16:46,178 --> 00:16:49,053 the smile before the suffering. 362 00:16:49,136 --> 00:16:52,428 We could only be truly happy 363 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:55,512 if we could freeze time forever. 364 00:16:55,595 --> 00:16:57,345 But we can't. 365 00:16:57,428 --> 00:17:00,387 That is impossible. 366 00:17:00,470 --> 00:17:03,303 Is it worth it? 367 00:17:03,387 --> 00:17:04,637 Dying for your love? 368 00:17:05,929 --> 00:17:10,387 When love has hold of your heart, 369 00:17:10,470 --> 00:17:12,637 you go. 370 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:14,595 Go like a stallion. 371 00:17:14,679 --> 00:17:17,637 ♪ energetic music ♪ 372 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:18,845 ♪♪♪ 373 00:17:18,929 --> 00:17:20,428 Thank you. 374 00:17:20,512 --> 00:17:21,970 But remember: 375 00:17:22,053 --> 00:17:24,220 I get reincarnated. 376 00:17:24,303 --> 00:17:27,637 ♪♪♪ 377 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:28,845 [Jeff gasps] 378 00:17:30,637 --> 00:17:33,303 Jill! 379 00:17:33,387 --> 00:17:34,553 Jill! 380 00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:36,095 ♪♪♪ 381 00:17:36,178 --> 00:17:37,720 Jill! 382 00:17:37,804 --> 00:17:42,929 ♪♪♪ 383 00:17:50,011 --> 00:17:50,970 - [car horn honks] - Ooh, jeez. 384 00:17:51,053 --> 00:17:52,845 - Sorry! - [driver] Son of a bitch! 385 00:17:52,929 --> 00:17:55,011 [car horns honking] 386 00:17:55,095 --> 00:17:56,261 Jill! 387 00:18:00,929 --> 00:18:03,929 [indistinct conversations and laughter] 388 00:18:06,845 --> 00:18:10,261 ♪ traditional Italian music ♪ 389 00:18:10,345 --> 00:18:13,220 [people cheering in Italian] 390 00:18:14,637 --> 00:18:15,679 [bellows] Jill! 391 00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:17,970 [air rushing in slow motion] 392 00:18:18,053 --> 00:18:19,637 [gasps] 393 00:18:21,887 --> 00:18:24,970 [complete silence] 394 00:19:00,512 --> 00:19:02,428 [dollar bills rustle] 395 00:19:12,345 --> 00:19:13,553 [sound rushes back] 396 00:19:13,637 --> 00:19:15,261 [cannoli mascot shouts] 397 00:19:15,345 --> 00:19:17,637 shouts in Italian 398 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:18,762 Jeff? 399 00:19:20,679 --> 00:19:22,679 I'm sorry. 400 00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:25,345 What are you doing here? 401 00:19:25,428 --> 00:19:28,428 I wanna have the conversation we should've had that night. 402 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,220 Well, we could go somewhere and grab a coffee. 403 00:19:34,303 --> 00:19:35,595 I lied to you... 404 00:19:35,679 --> 00:19:39,303 when I said we couldn't be together because of my job. 405 00:19:39,387 --> 00:19:41,053 Truth is... 406 00:19:41,136 --> 00:19:43,220 I'm afraid of the pain it would cause if you left. 407 00:19:44,845 --> 00:19:45,679 And now that's all I have. 408 00:19:45,762 --> 00:19:46,845 So... 409 00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:50,637 Also, Julie Andrews meant nothing. 410 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:51,929 Also, I know 411 00:19:52,011 --> 00:19:53,345 that you've had a lifelong fantasy 412 00:19:53,428 --> 00:19:57,303 about getting married in the New York Public Library. 413 00:19:57,387 --> 00:20:01,887 But $60,000 is just too much to spend on anything... 414 00:20:05,220 --> 00:20:07,053 ...in my opinion, you know? 415 00:20:09,136 --> 00:20:10,720 Could you say something? [chuckles] 416 00:20:10,804 --> 00:20:12,220 Please? 417 00:20:16,220 --> 00:20:17,887 It includes catering. 418 00:20:20,303 --> 00:20:21,303 You read the fine print. 419 00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:22,845 I Google things. 420 00:20:22,929 --> 00:20:24,679 I don't like to spend money on myself. 421 00:20:24,762 --> 00:20:27,053 I don't like not talking to you. 422 00:20:31,970 --> 00:20:33,512 I beat your pinball score. 423 00:20:33,595 --> 00:20:35,679 - No, you didn't. - Mm-hmm. 424 00:20:35,762 --> 00:20:38,637 Knocked you right off the chart. 425 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:40,512 It's when I knew you were gone for real. 426 00:20:41,553 --> 00:20:44,053 You casually destroyed my life's work. 427 00:20:44,136 --> 00:20:46,387 What about a backyard? 428 00:20:46,470 --> 00:20:48,679 My dad could do the food. 429 00:20:48,762 --> 00:20:50,011 Instead of gifts, 430 00:20:50,095 --> 00:20:52,845 people could give to a worthy cause. 431 00:20:52,929 --> 00:20:55,345 [chuckling] I think we should date first. 432 00:20:55,428 --> 00:20:56,512 Oh! Sure. 433 00:20:56,595 --> 00:20:58,178 Whatever you want. 434 00:20:58,261 --> 00:21:00,428 I'll never leave you. 435 00:21:00,512 --> 00:21:02,637 I'll never lie to you again. 436 00:21:06,845 --> 00:21:09,845 ♪♪♪ 437 00:21:09,929 --> 00:21:14,387 Although we grow older, there is always more 438 00:21:14,470 --> 00:21:17,929 the universe has to teach us. 439 00:21:18,011 --> 00:21:20,387 It is even a greater gift 440 00:21:20,470 --> 00:21:23,720 when one encounters a fellow traveler 441 00:21:23,804 --> 00:21:27,053 with that same childlike spirit 442 00:21:27,136 --> 00:21:29,387 who wishes to grow 443 00:21:29,470 --> 00:21:31,095 and learn 444 00:21:31,178 --> 00:21:34,929 and marvel along with you. 445 00:21:35,011 --> 00:21:37,095 Recognizing this, 446 00:21:37,178 --> 00:21:39,220 I ask you, Jeff, 447 00:21:39,303 --> 00:21:42,303 to look into Jill's eyes 448 00:21:42,387 --> 00:21:44,762 and tell her. 449 00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:47,178 Do you vow to nurture 450 00:21:47,261 --> 00:21:49,595 and be nurtured, 451 00:21:49,679 --> 00:21:53,136 protect and be protected, 452 00:21:53,220 --> 00:21:57,261 nourish and be nourished, 453 00:21:57,345 --> 00:21:59,970 so that you may grow 454 00:22:00,053 --> 00:22:01,929 in this world 455 00:22:02,011 --> 00:22:03,136 together? 456 00:22:08,887 --> 00:22:09,845 I do. 457 00:22:09,929 --> 00:22:11,011 [sobs] 458 00:22:13,679 --> 00:22:16,637 I do blame you. 459 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:18,387 [sobs] 460 00:22:18,470 --> 00:22:21,679 [sobs, exhales] 461 00:22:21,762 --> 00:22:24,553 [exhaling] Oh, thank you. 462 00:22:24,637 --> 00:22:28,720 [breathing heavily] 463 00:22:37,679 --> 00:22:39,887 I'm sorry about your dad. 464 00:22:44,178 --> 00:22:46,637 ♪ soft resonant music ♪ 465 00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:49,553 [Jeff] We can't turn back time, 466 00:22:49,637 --> 00:22:51,720 but we can steal it. 467 00:22:51,804 --> 00:22:53,637 Does your house have a clock? 468 00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,220 Maybe it's on the microwave 469 00:22:55,303 --> 00:22:57,762 or your father's wristwatch. 470 00:22:57,845 --> 00:22:59,512 Today, 471 00:22:59,595 --> 00:23:01,845 I want you to go to that clock 472 00:23:01,929 --> 00:23:04,970 and I want you to turn the time back one hour. 473 00:23:05,053 --> 00:23:07,804 And I want you to spend that hour with your family. 474 00:23:07,887 --> 00:23:10,178 Treat them as what they are: 475 00:23:10,261 --> 00:23:13,095 a precious gift from the universe. 476 00:23:14,345 --> 00:23:16,804 I can't be there every day for you, 477 00:23:16,887 --> 00:23:18,762 but there are people in your life who can. 478 00:23:20,637 --> 00:23:23,595 Your sisters and brothers, mom and dad. 479 00:23:24,970 --> 00:23:27,845 Cousins, friends. 480 00:23:27,929 --> 00:23:29,512 Even your teachers. 481 00:23:29,595 --> 00:23:32,512 ♪♪♪ 482 00:23:32,595 --> 00:23:34,679 [clock beeping] 483 00:23:34,762 --> 00:23:39,595 See, family can be anyone in the world who loves you, 484 00:23:39,679 --> 00:23:42,345 anyone in the world who gives you strength. 485 00:23:44,929 --> 00:23:46,720 Excuse me. 486 00:23:46,804 --> 00:23:48,762 Sorry. 487 00:23:48,845 --> 00:23:51,595 Dad says if the rocket explodes, 488 00:23:51,679 --> 00:23:54,303 we're standing in the debris field. 489 00:23:54,387 --> 00:23:55,553 [sighs] 490 00:23:55,637 --> 00:23:58,720 Please just try and enjoy yourselves. 491 00:23:58,804 --> 00:24:00,136 [man on radio] Welcome 492 00:24:00,220 --> 00:24:02,762 to Dragon resupply mission CRS-21. 493 00:24:02,845 --> 00:24:05,470 We're about 15 minutes from our scheduled departure 494 00:24:05,553 --> 00:24:07,595 to the International Space Station. 495 00:24:07,679 --> 00:24:09,220 Or as Astronotter would say... 496 00:24:09,303 --> 00:24:12,387 [speaks gibberish] 497 00:24:12,470 --> 00:24:14,011 ♪♪♪ 498 00:24:14,095 --> 00:24:16,303 Can I call you New Mom? 499 00:24:16,387 --> 00:24:18,804 - Yes. - Well, I don't... 500 00:24:18,887 --> 00:24:22,553 Hershey Park, here we come. 501 00:24:22,637 --> 00:24:23,804 Ow! 502 00:24:23,887 --> 00:24:26,887 Don't you fucking hurt Dolores. 503 00:24:29,011 --> 00:24:33,929 speaking Serbian 504 00:24:43,178 --> 00:24:44,720 I like your purple belt. 505 00:24:44,804 --> 00:24:47,512 We get it, James. You can see. 506 00:24:52,220 --> 00:24:55,011 Sorry about your throat. 507 00:24:55,095 --> 00:24:58,303 - [throat mic buzzes] - You're all that I have now. 508 00:24:58,387 --> 00:25:00,512 It's kind of nice. 509 00:25:00,595 --> 00:25:01,887 [doll chimes] 510 00:25:01,970 --> 00:25:03,345 Jeff... 511 00:25:11,970 --> 00:25:13,345 I'm here. 512 00:25:18,053 --> 00:25:19,970 Do you have an hour? 513 00:25:20,053 --> 00:25:21,804 I want you to meet someone. 514 00:25:24,470 --> 00:25:28,136 So tell me about this $80,000 car. 515 00:25:28,220 --> 00:25:29,637 [chuckles] 516 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:32,136 How do you know the MSRP of a Range Rover? 517 00:25:32,220 --> 00:25:33,720 Mm, I Google things. 518 00:25:34,970 --> 00:25:37,512 Do these heated seats work in the summertime? 519 00:25:37,595 --> 00:25:38,970 There's three settings. 520 00:25:39,053 --> 00:25:40,178 Well, now you're just showing off. 521 00:25:40,261 --> 00:25:41,512 [laughs] 522 00:25:41,595 --> 00:25:43,637 [both laugh] 523 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:44,887 [both sigh happily] 524 00:25:44,970 --> 00:25:50,136 ♪♪♪ 525 00:25:51,387 --> 00:25:53,679 ♪ Where do you turn ♪ 526 00:25:53,762 --> 00:25:56,845 ♪ When there's no one to turn to? ♪ 527 00:25:56,929 --> 00:26:00,095 ♪ Where, when it's so hard to cope? ♪ 528 00:26:00,178 --> 00:26:02,345 ♪♪♪ 529 00:26:02,428 --> 00:26:05,053 ♪ How can you start ♪ 530 00:26:05,136 --> 00:26:08,428 ♪ Make a change, maybe learn too ♪ 531 00:26:08,512 --> 00:26:11,178 ♪ What do you need? ♪ 532 00:26:11,261 --> 00:26:14,303 ♪ stirring piano chord ♪ 533 00:26:14,387 --> 00:26:16,804 ♪ Hope is the song ♪ 534 00:26:16,887 --> 00:26:20,345 ♪ When the world is a menace ♪ 535 00:26:20,428 --> 00:26:22,178 ♪ Hope is the open... ♪ 536 00:26:22,261 --> 00:26:24,470 [no audio] 537 00:26:24,553 --> 00:26:27,720 ♪ ...door, ooh ♪ 538 00:26:29,095 --> 00:26:32,970 ♪ Maybe getting back up ♪ 539 00:26:33,053 --> 00:26:35,261 ♪ Again is ♪ 540 00:26:35,345 --> 00:26:37,387 ♪♪♪ 541 00:26:37,470 --> 00:26:40,679 ♪ What falls ♪ 542 00:26:40,762 --> 00:26:45,053 ♪ Are for ♪ 543 00:26:45,136 --> 00:26:48,095 [heartbeat thumping] 544 00:26:52,303 --> 00:26:55,303 [heartbeat continues thumping] 545 00:27:25,845 --> 00:27:28,679 [no audible dialogue] 546 00:27:28,762 --> 00:27:31,762 [heartbeat continues thumping] 547 00:27:46,512 --> 00:27:49,679 [complete silence] 548 00:28:23,387 --> 00:28:26,136 ♪ ragtime jazz ♪ 549 00:28:26,220 --> 00:28:31,345 ♪♪♪ 550 00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:25,720 ♪ music continues ♪ 551 00:29:25,804 --> 00:29:27,220 ♪♪♪ 552 00:29:27,303 --> 00:29:28,428 ♪♪ 35743

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