All language subtitles for Hercules - The Legendary Journeys - 02x19 - King for a Day

Herc, ya hear that?

Yeah, he's been on
our trail for a while.

I think it's time he found us.

- Please, Hercules, I need your help.
- What's the problem?

- It's my daughter!
- What happened to her?

She saw you defeat a giant,
last year,

and she's been obsessed
about you ever since.

She's convinced that her destiny
is to be yours and yours alone!

- So, what else is new?
- Hercules, she won't eat!

She won't sleep!
She won't listen to her mother or I!

All right, all right, all right.
Listen, listen.

We'll, uh, go see if we can
talk some sense into her.

- Right.
- Oh, wait a minute. Who are you?

I'm Iolaus.
You know, Hercules' best friend

companion, comrade-in-arms,

renowned in song and st...
I don't know why I bother.

Have you really never heard of me?

No, this is a delicate family matter!

And my daughter's a flower,
a gem, a goddess.

- You'd only scare her.
- She got a sister?

Please, Hercules, we must hurry!
My village is three days' travel!

All right, uh, Iolaus, I'll
meet you back here in a week.

No, no, no, Hercules, wait.
We were gonna go boar hunting.

Yeah, I know, I know, it's...
we're close to Attica?

- Don't you have relatives there?
- Yeah, very distant relatives.

Aah, you'll have a good time.

Ha, you haven't spent
time with my relatives.

- One week, back here.
- OK. OK.

Fine. Let's go. Come on.
How did you find me, anyway?

- Villagers... come by every day.
- Don't worry about me!

I really enjoy crawling
through the forest on my own.

You know?

Every time you take a vacation
you don't take a vacation!

I can't believe that
guy never heard of me.

Ah, hey! Hey!

Hi.
Uh, I'm looking for your town hall.

- Is there a problem?
- You don't know the way?

No, this is why I'm asking.

I'm looking for some relatives
who live around here?

Thanks. I'm going hunting.

- Excellent shot, your Highness.
- You nearly scared him to death.

Excellent strategy, your Highness.

What kind of men are you?
Show yourselves!

- Who is that shouting?
- What?

So I look like a deer?
You could a killed me!

Sorry, friend. His High--

You know--

I don't believe it.

Hector. Who is this
uncommonly handsome stranger?

This is the story of a time long ago.

A time of myth and legend,

when the ancient gods
were petty and cruel,

and they plagued mankind with suffering.

Only one man dared
to challenge their power-Hercules.

Hercules possessed a strength
the world had never seen,

a strength surpassed only
by the power of his heart.

He journeyed the earth, battling the
minions of wicked stepmother, Hera,

the all-powerful queen of the gods.

But wherever there was evil,
wherever an innocent would suffer,

there would be Hercules.

The resemblance really is un, canny.

I think it was my
great-grandmother, Althea.

She always said she liked Attica.
Now I know why.

And undoubtedly my great-grandfather,
King Agoraphobius

never could keep it in his codpiece.

- Makes us cousins.
- Hail, cousin!

You know, Iolaus?

- It's good to be king.
- You're not king yet, your Highness.

I know, but I soon will be.
And when I am...

I'm gonna rule just like my father did.

May I remind your
Highness about tomorrow?

Are you tryin' to
spoil my bachelor party?

It is my responsibility to
make sure the coronation

- is perfect, Sire.
- Don't worry, Hector.

I won't disappoint you
or Niobe, little twit.

I wonder if she still has
those knobbly knees.

Hey, hey, hey,
do you have knobbly knees?

How about you?

Niobe is not a little twit,
your Highness.

- She is a princess and your betrothed.
- You know?

If she's gonna be your wife
don't you think you should

pay her a little respect?
It will make things a lot easier.

Yeah, you're right. Yeah.

I mean, it's been a long
time since I seen her.

It's been ten years.
Maybe she's changed.

- Maybe she's a big twit.
- Please, your Highness,

I beg you to prepare
yourself for the coronation.

Your brother, Prince Minos,

and General Archias will
do anything to foil us.

- You worry too much, old man.
- I'm going to bed.

And I think you should do
the same, your Highness.

- Girls! Leave him!
- Hey! Hey, hey, hey!

Are you denying my cousin
the spoils of royalty?

The evening's over! Good night.

It's all right.
I've had enough wine.

Well, I'm gonna need some more
courage if I'm gonna face Niobe!

Uh, well, I guess I'll hit
the hay, too, your Highness.

Uh, call me Orestes, you're family.

Then I'm glad I made
the trip, Orestes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

General Archias!

At ease, Pylon.
What news do you bring?

Prince Orestes will not be
attending the coronation.

His wine was drugged.
Today's tax collections.

- Excellent.
- I hope tomorrow never comes.

Prince Minos. Oh, cease.

When Orestes, your brother,
takes the throne tomorrow

and marries Princess Niobe
your power in Attica is finished.

It's not my fault my brother
was born before me.

No, no, not your fault, Sire,
but, uh, easily remedied

especially when one considers
how unfair it would be for Orestes

to overshadow a man as shrewd
and as powerful as yourself.

- Well...
- May I?

If you were king, think
of the legacy that

you would leave Attica
a stronger military,

bigger prisons for
our political enemies.

I would need your wise
counsel at every turn.

Oh, if your Highness would permit.

- Go on.
- With our increased might

we could control the outer
provinces and enlarge the kingdom.

You would be remembered
as the greatest leader

in the history of Attica.
And your marriage to Niobe...

- Uh, she's so beautiful.
- would further consolidate your power.

Niobe hates me.

She must marry whomever
is king for the good of Attica.

- She could learn to love me.
- Well, I hope you don't mind

but I have gone and
taken care of everything.

Tomorrow, you will be
crowned king of Attica

and Orestes will skulk away, the
pathetic little creature, that he is.

Take him away and bring me
a more worthy opponent!

- Yes, sir.
- I knew I could trust you, Archias.

Oh, wait until my brother
sees me wearing the crown

he though was his.

- Some kind of sleeping potion.
- It won't kill him, will it?

No, but it'll put him out
of action for a while.

- Who'd wanna do something like this?
- Aah, Minos is too weak to try

it on his own, but he's jealous
enough to encourage Archias.

Orestes'll never make
it to the coronation.

- Postpone it.
- We can't.

If Orestes doesn't appear
at the appointed time,

Minos will be crowned in his place
and he'll be king until he dies.

Unless...

- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
- You look just like Orestes.

You could be crowned in
his place and nobody would

- know the difference!
- Forget it!

- But you must!
- What? Are you crazy?

No, we're trying to save our lives.

If you don't pretend
to be Orestes,

Archias will have us all
executed by sundown.

Your cousin will be dead.
Atticer fall to despots.

- I couldn't fool anybody.
- Well, granted, you're not exactly

royal material, but,
uh, if we teach you--

He's much older than I am!

The wine and the women
they've aged him.

Listen I've taken care of
Orestes since his birth,

and before that, I was
proud to help guide

- his father's sovereign hand!
- I'm asking you to help him.

He needs you.
His kingdom needs you.

I've guess I've always
wondered what it would

- be like to be king for a day.
- Here, put this on.

- We'll have to hide him.
- Yeah, come on. I'll help.

No, no, no, he's our responsibility.
And you're going to be king.

You should begin acting like one.

Sorry, your Highness.

Now, you're absolutely you
got the words all perfect.

Stop fussing! Hector,
I know the lines. Come on.

When the sun hits the
medallion on this wall,

a shaft of light will
illuminate the entire temple.

- Yeah.
- That's when you present yourself

at the doorway walk on
down the aisle to the priest.

- Down the aisle, come on.
- If you're not right on time,

Minos will leave
the congregation,

and present himself
in your place.

Then I guess we better
not be late, huh?

One more thing. If you make
a mistake in the testing,

Zeus has decreed that you
be beheaded immediately.

Now you tell me.

I can't believe it.

I'm gonna be king and Niobe
will be mine. Where is she?

Patience, your Highness.
Niobe's not going anywhere.

Just, uh, try to look surprised
when the priest calls your name.

Who dares to be king of Attica?

Let him present himself to the gods.

I've been waiting for this all my life.

I do.

- Why didn't they kill me?
- Tripping on your robe, doesn't count.

Tripping on your tongue does.

Archias, you promised me.

Something's gone wrong,
your Majesty. Stay right here.

- Why do you think you are worthy?
- Because of the hereditary

succession from my father
King Oeneus and his father...

King Xenophobius and his father...

King Agoraphobius and his father...

King Arachnophobius and
on back through the ages

to the time of the Titans!

Speak the oath of allegiance
or die in Zeus's name.

Oh, mighty Zeus, bestow your
blessing on your unworthy servant

and grant that I may rule Attica
with the wisdom of Olympus!

With this crown, your grace
and wisdom shall enrich

this kingdom for so long as you
shall live. All hail! To King Orestes!

Hail! To King Orestes!

Cool!

- Hey, who's that, Hector?
- You mean, Orestes didn't tell you?

No?

Whoever is crowned must marry
Princess Niobe immediately.

Wait a second! Are you crazy?

I don't even know her!
How can I marry her?

- I gotta date her or something!
- Get in there.

Do you King Orestes
take Niobe to be

your sovereign queen and wife?
Till death do you part?

Uh... I do.

Do you Queen Niobe
take Orestes to be

your sovereign king and husband
till death do you part?

- I do?
- You may kiss your queen.

Long live King Orestes
and Queen Niobe!

- You look beautiful.
- Oh, please--

No, no, really. You're beautiful.

Look, I've done my duty to
my family and the kingdom.

But I'd rather eat dirt than
consummate this marriage

after the hideous way you
treated me all these years?

- Yeah, but--
- I'm just glad you showed up

or I'd be married to
that cretin, Minos.

Look, I'm sorry you feel--

At least you're not as
unattractive as I remember.

Unattractive? Look, I know I've
taken a few punches in my time--

Come on! Let's see you kiss her!

- Once was enough.
- Kiss her!

You know?
We all have our roles to perform.

Thanks, darling.

You didn't tell me I was gonna
marry someone who hates my guts.

Uh, it's King Orestes who
is married to her, huh?

Yeah? Good luck to him.

- No!
- What's the matter?

- Archias has Orestes.
- How can you be so sure?

Maybe he woke up and
went back to the palace.

- That's Archias' dagger.
- Really?

- You have to help us.
- Hey, wait a minute.

Maybe I can fake it for
a day, but I'm no king.

I know!
But this is no time to be picky!

So you keep telling me. Now,
why can't we just rescue Orestes?

The only place they'll
hide him is Draxus,

and it's too heavily fortified!

Orestes'd before
we could reach him!

- What do you expect me to do?
- Just what you're doing.

As long as you're on
the throne Minos

and Archias can't take
the crown or marry Niobe.

Niobe. Boy, how can
I disappoint a woman

who's so crazy about me?

I didn't want you
to kidnap Orestes

just detain him long enough
for me to become king.

Your Highness, there really
wasn't any other way.

There is an imposter,
masquerading as your brother,

and we must flush him.

My brother is rotting in
the dungeon right now.

Yes, but he's safer there
than in anywhere else

in the kingdom,
the incompetent boob.

Besides, if we let him rule, he
will plunge Attica in to anarchy.

But, how can I stop him?

Why don't we arrange for the
imposter's unfortunate demise?

Bury him as King Orestes with
all the ceremony of state.

You will be made king and
I will take care of Orestes.

No. I don't want you hurting him.
He's my responsibility.

As you wish, your Highness.

Pylon, take this to the imposter.

Huh, looks like you've
used that thing before.

Someone has to protect
Attica from those

- who want it destroyed?
- Who wants to destroy it?

Your darling brother for one.

Niobe, did I say something
to make you angry?

How about the way
you bad-mouthed me?

- Oh, I couldn't--
- And your drinking?

- I don't drink that much.
- And the women?

If I didn't have to
marry you to save Attica

from rebellion, I wouldn't be here.

- May I?
- You can't hit the side of a palace.

How did you do that?

There are songs about
how badly you shoot.

Sometimes those songs
and stories you hear are

greatly exaggerated.
Often, they're completely wrong.

I just want you to get
the know the real me.

- Niobe, I'm not really--
- Sire! I'm sorry to interrupt.

- What is it?
- We have a problem.

- Minos' letter is obviously a trap.
- Yeah.

- We should take the bait anyway.
- What? And risk failure?

I can't just sit here.
Orestes may be dead.

And as much fun as you two are,
I'd like to go home sometime,

so let's go get him.

Yeah, but if you die,
then they win.

I won't die!

At least I hope I won't.

Hercules wouldn't.

- Amazing, you look just like him.
- He's a handsome devil.

If you find drunk
playboys attractive.

Well, at least you kept your
promise to come alone.

I should a known it was
too good to be true.

I have no reason to keep
a promise to an imposter.

If that's how you do business, fine.

Just tell me one thing
is Orestes still alive?

- Yes.
- You wanna tell me why?

Because I won't kill
my brother, but I will kill you.

Some king you'd make! Won't
even fight your own battles!

That's why I have guards.

So long, imposter.

Dinner?

- You get what I wanted?
- Yes, sir.

Why can't I kill the
little prince myself?

Now, now, let's not get too hasty.

We must keep Minos' feeble
dreams of familial harmony alive.

And besides an unhappy puppet
is an uncooperative puppet.

If Orestes were to die from a
long regrettable illness,

however...

You know, I shouldn't be bothering
with all this royal nonsense.

I should be out rescuing Orestes!

Look, we have to wait
for the right moment.

Besides, each morning
after the crescent moon,

the king must offer
legal judgments.

You must behave exactly as
Orestes would, otherwise,

the charade is over
and we're all dead.

Oh, great. Thanks, Hector.

People of Attica!

King Orestes and Queen Niobe
will hear your complaints

and pleas! Will the first
litigant step forward?

Now, remember, your Majesty,
your father could

only hear a couple of
cases at one sitting.

Why so few?

He didn't have the
longest attention span.

But I wouldn't worry too much.
None of these people expect

to get their case heard
in less than a year.

You mean, they've
been here before?

Ooh, they come every
month, your Majesty.

Some of them have
been coming for years.

And what is the
nature of this case?

I haven't been paid
my rent in two years.

And I don't have a decent
roof over my head.

- He won't fix it.
- Will you hear the case, your Majesty?

If you wish to say, 'Proceed.'
If no, say, 'On to the next.'

- Proceed.
- The tenant may speak first.

Well, your Majesty, it's like this.
From the day I moved in,

it's been nothing but trouble
broken promises the doors--

Case number four!

Case number fourteen!

Will you hear the case,
your Majesty?

Proceed.

Please rise. I promise
you'll get a fair hearing.

- I'm afraid, your Majesty.
- What are you afraid of?

Your Majesty, this wretch
refused to pay his taxes,

and the traditional punishment
hangs over his head.

Shall we do it now
for your pleasure?

No! Keep away from him.

What is the traditional punishment?

Either they sell him and
his family into slavery,

your Majesty, or they kill him.

Please, get up.
You don't have to kneel.

- What's your name?
- Epeius, your Majesty.

Well, Epeius, why didn't
you pay your taxes?

Especially when you knew
the severity of the sentence?

There's nothin' left to tax, your
Majesty, nothin' left to take.

Your brother and his men,
they... they eat our food

use our land take my
children into their service!

They've... they've left
nothing for my wife and me.

Now, you are the only
one we can turn to.

If... if you choose to
kill me, well, so be it.

At least, I've had my hearing.

I promise you won't die.

But I have to think about
what you've said.

In the meantime
you and your family

will be my guests,
here at the palace.

This is highly unusual, your Majesty!

- Those are my orders, Bailiff.
- Oh, your Majesty.

Oh, thank you, your Majesty.

It's all right. Show him
to the palace quarters.

Thank you.

Court is adjourned!

If you wouldn't mind

I'd be pleased if you'd
go walking with me.

I thought I was a drunken,
degenerate, womanizing...

Don't believe everything you hear.

Please I beg of you, Orestes,
give up the throne

and let me rule.

- No.
- Why are you acting like this?

- You never cared about being king.
- I do now.

I fear for our father's kingdom
under your pathetic rule.

You're just like him.
You both think I'm inadequate.

Well, look at me now, Orestes.

I'm not impressed.
If I can't live like a king,

- I might as well die like one.
- Well, that can be arranged.

But you don't have
to watch, your Majesty.

I tried to save you.

- Time for a little more medicine.
- Let me help you, Sire.

Is what Epeius says true?

Does Minos really abuse
his subjects like that?

You should know
how little tolerance

your father had
for the powerless.

He always thought
the people would

be appeased if we got married.

But I was hoping to tell
you a few ideas that

I'd come up with not that
I thought you'd listen?

- I'm listening, now.
- All right, then.

People everywhere
deserve certain basic rights

and it's our job to make
sure they keep them.

Well, what if I revoke
the old tax laws

and give peasants the
same rights as landowners?

That way, they could meet, uh,

air their grievances
and obtain justice.

It'd be taxation, but with
representation for everybody.

Becoming king has
changed you so much.

- I really can't believe it.
- Are you glad?

- Of course I am... for Attica...
- For Attica.

And for me. I'm glad too.

- Are you?
- Yes.

I'd resigned myself to a
marriage without love.

You know, several of
the stories also claim

- you're a terrible kisser.
- Well, you know,

uh, last time we kissed
we almost lost the chance

chance of a royal heir.

But I've been practicing.

You didn't have to do that!

Why not?
You were gonna kill me.

- No, I wasn't.
- Sure.

Orestes is dying.
I never wanted to hurt him.

I just wanted to be king.
But Archias is poisoning him.

- Then you better stop Archias.
- But I'm afraid of him.

If he can kill Orestes,
he can kill me too.

And the troops that protect his
fortress are loyal to him, not me.

OK.

Here's what we're gonna do.

You'll know I've been successful
if the drawbridge opens.

Then you can rush the castle.
If it doesn't open, don't risk it.

- Why not?
- Because he'll be dead, you idiot.

I don't like this.
If you don't succeed,

- I lose both my kings.
- Oh, you'll have a king...

I promise.

Hey, guys!

Halt!

Hi, guys.
Hey, you know what?

It's a beautiful night outside.
You should get out and enjoy it.

- How did you get out a your cell?
- No, no. I'm still in there.

He's not lying. Look.

It's simple.

Who is it?

It's your humble cousin, Cousin.
Come on.

- How did you get past the guard?
- We gotta get you outta here.

There's only one way the two
a you are gettin' outta here.

And that's dead!

You always so melodramatic?

- Orestes, stay there!
- Don't slip now, little man!

He can't talk to me like that.

I'm the king.

Ahh, not bad. Ready?

- I just got that shirt!
- It's nice.

You're the most annoying
little insect that ever

crawled up the leg of a titan!

Now! You!

Are! Dead!

Not till I teach you some manners!

Missed!

Hey!

Orestes!

I never thought I'd see the day!

Maybe we should
try it again, sometime!

No!

Maybe I was good
for sum'in' after all.

Farewell, my brother.

So sorry.

Going down!

Not without me.

You're getting angry, aren't you?

Orestes?

- Yes?
- Yes?

Now, I've gotcha!

Iolaus!

Throw down your weapons.
Now!

My royal patience is running out!

Help! He's hurt!

Hector, get him to the palace
healer. He's been poisoned.

You're not Orestes, are you?

I wish I was.

I'm sorry that men like
you don't become king.

If men like me were kings, the
world would be full of royalty.

No, my friend, there
aren't many like you.

You've been our
greatest king of all.

It's been an honor to serve
you. I wish it were forever.

Thank you.

Wait a second. Aren't cha coming in?

No, his Majesty wishes
to see you alone.

Niobe and I would like to express
our gratitude to you, Iolaus.

- I was glad I could be of help.
- You did more than help.

You healed our kingdom.

And you taught me
the value of family.

Attica has never
seen anyone like you.

I just hope I can rule with
the wisdom you displayed.

- I'm sure you will, your Highness.
- Orestes.

I'll try and remember that
when I'm back this way.

Is there nothing we can do
to convince you to stay?

No. I've got a friend waiting
at the Delphi crossroads.

I'm sorry, I haven't got the
strength to see you off.

Niobe, would you?

I'd be glad to.

- Till we meet again, Cousin.
- Goodbye, Orestes.

It's strange saying farewell
to the man I thought I married.

You're lucky to have
Orestes as a husband, Niobe.

Yes, I know.

Was it all an act?

It was the only way I
could convince Archias, uh--

I'm not talking about that, Iolaus.

I'm talking about you and me

and what I thought
we felt for each other.

No. No, it wasn't an act.

Then there'll always be a
place in my heart for you.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- What happened to you?
- Well...

No, tell me later.

Uh, I think it's a good idea if
we got up and left here, now.

Just went. Just got out of here--

- What's the problem?
- Well, you know that

- obsessed maiden I had to go talk to?
- Yeah?

- Well, she, uh, is obsessed.
- Hey!

- See?
- Yeah.

Oh, Hercules!
You can't run from me forever!

Oh, I'm going to make you
mine if it's the last thing I do!

- This has to stop!
- No! No! Oh, I love you! I love--

You don't love me!
You don't even know me!

You! Miss!

You must stop this behavior,
immediately. How can you admit

you love a man, who says
he can't love you back?

- Oh, but--
- If you wanna find true happiness,

you must return to your
village and seek a man

- whose love equals yours.
- Oh, no, no, but--

Go! Seek him.

Yes, your lordship.

How did you do that?

You've never seen my
royal touch, have you?