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1
00:00:05,559 --> 00:00:08,726
(theme music playing)
2
00:00:12,685 --> 00:00:14,935
Hey.
Have you ever gotten
a mani-pedi?
3
00:00:15,601 --> 00:00:17,643
Uh, I've gotten
a manicure.
4
00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:20,851
-Really?
-Uh, but I've never
got a pedicure.
5
00:00:20,935 --> 00:00:23,142
The toes rank
second on the body
6
00:00:23,226 --> 00:00:25,935
only to the testicles
in terms of how
repulsive they are.
7
00:00:26,017 --> 00:00:28,893
-Hey. You know Hobe Turner?
-He was a writer on Seinfeld.
8
00:00:28,976 --> 00:00:31,518
-Yeah. Of course. Yeah.
-Okay. Doing a movie
9
00:00:31,601 --> 00:00:34,518
starring Jon Hamm,
and Jon Hamm
10
00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:37,810
is playing
a Larry David-type writer.
11
00:00:37,893 --> 00:00:41,393
They're going against type,
and he wants to, uh,
12
00:00:41,476 --> 00:00:43,726
follow you around,
spend a day with you.
13
00:00:43,810 --> 00:00:45,017
Yeah, let's do it.
14
00:00:45,101 --> 00:00:46,893
I'm gonna try and make
it happen for tomorrow.
15
00:00:46,976 --> 00:00:48,393
-That'll be fun.
-Yeah, it will be fun.
16
00:00:48,476 --> 00:00:49,393
Susie:
We're back!
17
00:00:49,476 --> 00:00:50,726
All right, listen.
18
00:00:50,810 --> 00:00:53,017
We are not getting along
at all.
19
00:00:53,101 --> 00:00:54,768
Susie and I are at odds.
20
00:00:54,851 --> 00:00:56,559
Oh, my God.
I, I don't even know--
21
00:00:56,643 --> 00:00:57,893
-Susie: Saw your car!
-Hi!
22
00:00:57,976 --> 00:00:59,643
-Hi, ladies. Hi.
-Oh.
23
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,267
-Well, well, well.
-Hi.
24
00:01:01,351 --> 00:01:02,393
-Hey, look who's here?
-Hey.
25
00:01:02,476 --> 00:01:04,851
-I'm glad you're here.
-Are you?
26
00:01:04,935 --> 00:01:07,059
I never thought
I'd hear those words
come out of your mouth.
27
00:01:07,142 --> 00:01:09,476
Okay.
So, Becky, my sister...
28
00:01:09,559 --> 00:01:11,476
-Larry: Uh-huh.
-...is selling that house
we bought her.
29
00:01:11,559 --> 00:01:14,017
-Really?
-And what's really
interesting is,
30
00:01:14,101 --> 00:01:15,184
it's appreciated,
31
00:01:15,267 --> 00:01:16,726
because that section
of town is, like--
32
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:19,017
Fantastic!
Make a little dough!
33
00:01:19,101 --> 00:01:20,643
Becky's gonna make some money.
34
00:01:20,726 --> 00:01:22,851
What do you mean
she'll make some money?
35
00:01:22,935 --> 00:01:24,518
I bought the house.
36
00:01:24,601 --> 00:01:26,434
-We bought the house.
-Larry: Okay, yeah, okay.
37
00:01:26,518 --> 00:01:28,101
-And we gave it...
-Larry: We bought the house.
38
00:01:28,184 --> 00:01:29,101
-...as a gift.
-Okay.
39
00:01:29,184 --> 00:01:30,935
A gift-- It wasn't a gift
40
00:01:31,017 --> 00:01:32,768
for her to sell
and make money.
41
00:01:32,851 --> 00:01:34,267
It was a gift for her
to live in.
42
00:01:34,351 --> 00:01:36,101
-You gave it to her.
It was a gift.
-Cheryl: Yeah. You--
43
00:01:36,184 --> 00:01:38,059
I didn't give her the house
so she could sell it.
44
00:01:38,142 --> 00:01:39,476
What if she sold it
in three days?
45
00:01:39,559 --> 00:01:41,059
Would she be allowed
to keep the money?
46
00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:43,351
-She's flipping houses now?
-She's been there for 15 years.
47
00:01:43,434 --> 00:01:44,768
That's not exactly a flip.
48
00:01:44,851 --> 00:01:47,726
So she's gonna sell it
and make this tremendous
profit?
49
00:01:47,810 --> 00:01:50,226
-And get everything?
-That's, that's crazy talk.
50
00:01:50,309 --> 00:01:51,893
-Larry: That's insane.
-Why are you siding with him?
51
00:01:51,976 --> 00:01:53,351
-What do you mean,
why am I siding with him?
-No!
52
00:01:53,434 --> 00:01:54,726
Jeff:
That's the right thing!
53
00:01:54,810 --> 00:01:56,643
Listen, I don't wanna be
54
00:01:56,726 --> 00:01:57,643
in the middle of this.
55
00:01:57,726 --> 00:01:59,309
I don't really
talk to Becky.
56
00:01:59,393 --> 00:02:00,393
Why?
57
00:02:00,476 --> 00:02:02,601
We've grown apart
through the years.
58
00:02:02,685 --> 00:02:04,643
She calls me
Queen Elizabeth.
59
00:02:04,726 --> 00:02:06,685
She calls herself
Princess Margaret--
60
00:02:06,768 --> 00:02:08,226
-Queen Elizabeth?
-Yeah.
61
00:02:08,309 --> 00:02:10,059
Oh, yeah.
'Cause you got everything.
62
00:02:10,142 --> 00:02:12,810
-That's what she says.
-And she's jealous.
63
00:02:12,893 --> 00:02:14,559
So if you're comfortable...
64
00:02:14,643 --> 00:02:17,142
-going to her and asking
her for money--
-Oh, you better believe it.
65
00:02:17,226 --> 00:02:18,935
Oh, you better believe it.
I feel comfortable.
66
00:02:19,017 --> 00:02:20,935
All right, well, you do it,
because Cheryl doesn't
feel comfortable.
67
00:02:21,017 --> 00:02:22,726
-Is that a character?
-Larry: Yeah. Kramer.
68
00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:24,226
-Jeff: Oh.
-Oh, I feel comfortable.
69
00:02:24,309 --> 00:02:27,017
-Cheryl: Okay.
-Oh, you better believe it.
70
00:02:28,434 --> 00:02:31,851
This Hobe Turner movie
is, like, one of the--
is a big thing for me.
71
00:02:31,935 --> 00:02:33,810
-Yeah.
-And I'm excited to do it.
And, you know,
72
00:02:33,893 --> 00:02:35,476
the guy is kind of
based on you.
73
00:02:35,559 --> 00:02:38,518
So the best way
I can figure it
is to just hang out.
74
00:02:38,601 --> 00:02:40,976
-You know. I ask--
-It's not gonna be easy, Jon.
75
00:02:41,059 --> 00:02:42,601
I'm a very complex man.
76
00:02:42,685 --> 00:02:44,518
-Very complicated.
-(laughs) I get it.
77
00:02:44,601 --> 00:02:46,434
But I just wanna say
I'd really appreciate it.
78
00:02:46,518 --> 00:02:48,226
-You'd appreciate it.
-Yes, I would.
79
00:02:48,309 --> 00:02:52,309
Really. This--
this word "appreciate,"
it's very, very odd.
80
00:02:52,393 --> 00:02:54,518
People seem to think
that if they use
the word "appreciate,"
81
00:02:54,601 --> 00:02:56,518
all of a sudden,
the seas part for them.
82
00:02:56,601 --> 00:02:59,351
"Oh, hey, I'm so sorry
that I...
83
00:02:59,434 --> 00:03:01,101
"I robbed your house
and burned it down.
84
00:03:01,184 --> 00:03:03,309
I'd really appreciate it if
you wouldn't tell the cops."
85
00:03:03,393 --> 00:03:07,101
-You know?
-(laughing): This is exactly
what I'm talking about.
86
00:03:07,726 --> 00:03:11,059
-This is perfect.
-All right. Let's order
the main course.
87
00:03:11,142 --> 00:03:12,685
Yes, we should.
88
00:03:12,768 --> 00:03:15,142
-There's so many
things on this.
-I can't look at these menus.
89
00:03:15,226 --> 00:03:17,726
There's so much.
Oh, you know what?
90
00:03:17,810 --> 00:03:20,685
We should just ask them.
They got-- They know
what they're doing.
91
00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:21,935
Ho-bo-bo. Ho-ho-ho-ho.
92
00:03:22,017 --> 00:03:23,768
Why are you--
Why are you doing this?
93
00:03:23,851 --> 00:03:27,351
Excuse me. What, uh--
What'd you guys get?
94
00:03:27,434 --> 00:03:28,935
Why do you want to know?
95
00:03:29,017 --> 00:03:30,935
Because we're about to order.
96
00:03:31,017 --> 00:03:32,643
But, uh, you have a menu.
97
00:03:32,726 --> 00:03:34,601
Yeah, but I figured,
you know,
98
00:03:34,685 --> 00:03:37,059
you're the experts,
why not copy you.
99
00:03:37,142 --> 00:03:39,309
Why would you think
we're the experts?
100
00:03:39,393 --> 00:03:40,810
Chinese.
101
00:03:40,893 --> 00:03:43,810
-Ai-yah!
-That doesn't make us
an expert on food.
102
00:03:43,893 --> 00:03:45,017
Yeah. Yeah, I think it does.
103
00:03:45,101 --> 00:03:46,893
I mean, if there was
a table of fat people,
104
00:03:46,976 --> 00:03:48,309
and a table of skinny people,
105
00:03:48,393 --> 00:03:50,351
I'd ask the fat people
what they were getting.
106
00:03:50,434 --> 00:03:53,309
'Cause they're a little
more expert at eating
than the skinny people.
107
00:03:53,393 --> 00:03:54,518
Anyway...
108
00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:57,685
-Return to your meal.
-All: Thank you.
109
00:03:59,518 --> 00:04:02,309
-What?
-This is gold.
110
00:04:05,226 --> 00:04:06,351
-Schmo-hawk.
-Yeah, schmo-hawk.
111
00:04:06,434 --> 00:04:07,518
-I thought I heard that.
-Yeah.
112
00:04:07,601 --> 00:04:09,101
But I wasn't sure
I heard it right.
113
00:04:09,184 --> 00:04:10,726
-S-C-H?
-S-C-H.
114
00:04:10,810 --> 00:04:11,935
You know,
you got the "schmo."
115
00:04:12,017 --> 00:04:14,309
-(laughing)
-It's a schmo. Yeah.
116
00:04:15,184 --> 00:04:17,226
It's the browsing, right?
You can't stand it.
117
00:04:17,309 --> 00:04:18,685
-You hate it.
-No browsing.
118
00:04:18,768 --> 00:04:20,434
-No browsing. Yeah.
-No browsing.
119
00:04:20,518 --> 00:04:23,601
-You own this stand?
-No. I work for the owner.
120
00:04:23,685 --> 00:04:26,184
What do you do
if you have to go
to the bathroom?
121
00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:27,518
I don't go.
122
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:29,768
You don't go.
123
00:04:29,851 --> 00:04:31,142
The whole shift,
you don't go?
124
00:04:31,226 --> 00:04:33,476
I can't go.
I have to watch.
125
00:04:33,559 --> 00:04:34,976
All right. You know what?
126
00:04:35,059 --> 00:04:37,017
Do you have to go
to the bathroom now?
127
00:04:38,351 --> 00:04:40,101
-Go. I'll watch it.
-You'll watch it?
128
00:04:40,184 --> 00:04:42,309
-I'll watch the stand. Go.
-Okay. Put this on.
129
00:04:42,393 --> 00:04:44,101
-Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
-Thank you.
Thank you so--
130
00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:45,559
Yeah. You're, you're,
you're welcome.
131
00:04:45,643 --> 00:04:46,893
I really have to go.
132
00:04:46,976 --> 00:04:48,351
-No browsing, okay?
-No browsing.
133
00:04:48,434 --> 00:04:50,017
-You browse, you buy.
-You browse, you buy.
134
00:04:50,101 --> 00:04:52,601
-Thank you.
-Take your time.
Take your time.
135
00:04:52,685 --> 00:04:54,893
Get your papers here.
Papers!
136
00:04:54,976 --> 00:04:56,935
Magazines. Newspapers!
137
00:04:57,976 --> 00:04:59,351
Sir.
138
00:04:59,434 --> 00:05:00,810
-Oh.
-Sir.
139
00:05:00,893 --> 00:05:03,142
-Sorry, no browsing.
-I'm not browsing.
140
00:05:03,226 --> 00:05:06,685
The rule here is,
you buy, then browse.
141
00:05:06,768 --> 00:05:08,810
Customer:
I browse to buy.
142
00:05:08,893 --> 00:05:10,434
I know, but that's--
I'm sorry.
143
00:05:10,518 --> 00:05:11,893
That's, that's just
not gonna work.
144
00:05:11,976 --> 00:05:13,351
What the fuck?
145
00:05:13,434 --> 00:05:14,935
-Hey!
-Hey.
146
00:05:15,017 --> 00:05:16,768
Yeah, sorry. Yeah.
147
00:05:17,226 --> 00:05:19,851
L.D. What the--
What are you, nuts?
148
00:05:19,935 --> 00:05:21,601
-No.
-Are you having
a breakdown?
149
00:05:21,685 --> 00:05:23,184
-Richard: Hey, Jon.
-Hey, how are you?
150
00:05:23,267 --> 00:05:24,893
-Jon Hamm.
-Yeah, it's nice to meet you.
Big fan.
151
00:05:24,976 --> 00:05:26,726
What is-- What the f--
What, are you guys...
152
00:05:26,810 --> 00:05:28,267
-...escaped from
a mental institution?
-No.
153
00:05:28,351 --> 00:05:29,851
The guy had to go
to the bathroom,
so I took over.
154
00:05:29,935 --> 00:05:31,726
-So get this--
-What, what are
you guys doing?
155
00:05:31,810 --> 00:05:33,518
Jon's starring in a movie.
156
00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:35,559
-Well, what else is new?
-And the character...
157
00:05:35,643 --> 00:05:37,184
The character's based on me.
158
00:05:37,267 --> 00:05:38,685
So he's kind of shadowing me.
159
00:05:38,768 --> 00:05:40,851
What's the name of the movie?
The Biggest Asshole...
160
00:05:40,935 --> 00:05:42,726
-... That Ever
Roamed the Earth?
-Larry: Oh, I like that.
161
00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,434
-(laughing)
-Yeah, that's, that's good.
162
00:05:44,518 --> 00:05:46,351
-I'll tell Hobe.
-That's good.
163
00:05:46,434 --> 00:05:49,226
You're a great actor,
but this could be the end.
164
00:05:49,309 --> 00:05:50,518
So what are you doing?
165
00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:52,267
You know Michelle,
the CEO...
166
00:05:52,351 --> 00:05:53,976
-...I'm dating?
-Yeah, I know she's a CEO.
167
00:05:54,059 --> 00:05:56,351
Well, I gotta go
furniture shopping
with her today.
168
00:05:56,434 --> 00:05:58,142
Furniture shopping?
169
00:05:58,226 --> 00:05:59,393
Yeah, but I gotta
really get going.
170
00:05:59,476 --> 00:06:01,351
-Larry: Okay.
-Why don't we have a meal?
171
00:06:01,434 --> 00:06:02,685
We haven't had dinner
in a while.
172
00:06:02,768 --> 00:06:04,184
Yeah, let's do it.
Let's have dinner.
173
00:06:04,267 --> 00:06:06,643
-Can, uh, Michelle come?
-No.
174
00:06:06,726 --> 00:06:08,810
Listen, I--
I really want her
to come. I--
175
00:06:08,893 --> 00:06:10,351
I really would appreciate it.
176
00:06:10,434 --> 00:06:12,685
See? See what I'm saying
with the "appreciate"?
177
00:06:12,768 --> 00:06:14,726
-I'm finally starting to get it.
I see what you're saying. Yes.
-Huh? You see it?
178
00:06:14,810 --> 00:06:16,142
Richard:
What are you
talking about?
179
00:06:16,226 --> 00:06:18,893
I don't succumb
to "appreciate."
180
00:06:18,976 --> 00:06:21,226
I'm not gonna bring her.
For you, okay?
181
00:06:21,309 --> 00:06:22,726
-Larry: Yeah.
-To honor our friendship.
182
00:06:22,810 --> 00:06:24,976
-But she's gonna give me
shit for it.
-Larry: So what?
183
00:06:25,059 --> 00:06:26,768
You're gonna pay
down the line for this.
184
00:06:26,851 --> 00:06:29,476
-You text me where you
want to meet, asshole.
-Okay.
185
00:06:32,101 --> 00:06:34,142
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
186
00:06:34,226 --> 00:06:35,393
-Oh, sure.
-That was quick.
187
00:06:35,476 --> 00:06:37,893
-I feel so much better.
-I'm sure you do.
188
00:06:37,976 --> 00:06:39,559
-Get this off me.
-Okay.
189
00:06:39,643 --> 00:06:41,976
-What do I owe you?
-You owe me nothing.
190
00:06:42,059 --> 00:06:44,851
-Nothing. Oh, boy.
-Larry: No. I insist.
191
00:06:44,935 --> 00:06:47,768
-Yeah.
-Thank you. That piss
was worth $10, easy.
192
00:06:47,851 --> 00:06:50,685
Well, see ya, man.
I mean, look what you did.
193
00:06:50,768 --> 00:06:52,518
Yeah.
194
00:06:52,601 --> 00:06:54,518
A $10 piss.
195
00:06:56,351 --> 00:06:59,768
-Mm. Mm.
-And he offered me $10
to take a piss.
196
00:06:59,851 --> 00:07:02,184
-Wow.
-And I'm thinking...
197
00:07:02,267 --> 00:07:04,351
what a great idea
for a business.
198
00:07:04,434 --> 00:07:06,976
You relieve people
who have jobs
199
00:07:07,059 --> 00:07:08,935
where they can't
use a bathroom.
200
00:07:09,017 --> 00:07:11,559
Toll booth collectors,
shoe shine stands,
201
00:07:11,643 --> 00:07:13,142
parking garage attendants.
202
00:07:13,226 --> 00:07:15,726
They contact you
on your phone,
it's an app,
203
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:18,559
and then you go down
and man the store,
204
00:07:18,643 --> 00:07:19,810
when they go to the bathroom.
205
00:07:19,893 --> 00:07:21,393
Do you know how many times
I've peed
206
00:07:21,476 --> 00:07:22,810
in a fuckin'
Gatorade bottle
207
00:07:22,893 --> 00:07:24,393
when I couldn't find
a fuckin' bathroom?
208
00:07:24,476 --> 00:07:25,976
Plenty of fuckin' times.
209
00:07:26,059 --> 00:07:27,101
Mm-hmm.
210
00:07:27,184 --> 00:07:28,768
And know how
many times I forgot
211
00:07:28,851 --> 00:07:30,226
I peed in that
Gatorade bottle
212
00:07:30,309 --> 00:07:32,518
and drank that shit?
Once.
213
00:07:33,059 --> 00:07:34,518
That's a fuckin'
good idea.
214
00:07:34,601 --> 00:07:35,768
Thanks for sharing
that story.
215
00:07:35,851 --> 00:07:37,184
This could be
the pee Amazon.
216
00:07:37,267 --> 00:07:39,351
-You know? This, this is big.
-This could be big.
217
00:07:39,434 --> 00:07:40,559
-This could be very big.
-Every fuckin' where.
218
00:07:40,643 --> 00:07:41,976
-Yeah.
-Very big. We need a name.
219
00:07:42,059 --> 00:07:43,810
-Poober.
-Poober!
220
00:07:43,893 --> 00:07:45,976
-Meh. It's too close to Uber.
-Meh.
221
00:07:46,059 --> 00:07:47,643
I got something.
222
00:07:47,726 --> 00:07:49,017
"Gotta Go."
223
00:07:49,101 --> 00:07:51,142
-Like that.
That's catchy as hell.
-You like that?
224
00:07:51,226 --> 00:07:54,351
♪ ♪
225
00:08:01,267 --> 00:08:02,726
(police siren in distance)
226
00:08:03,559 --> 00:08:05,726
(doorbell rings)
227
00:08:07,518 --> 00:08:10,101
-Oh. Hey!
-Hey, Becky.
228
00:08:10,184 --> 00:08:12,559
Can I talk to you
for a minute?
229
00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:15,393
Yeah. Okay. Come on.
230
00:08:15,976 --> 00:08:17,726
Larry: (scoffs)
Wow.
231
00:08:17,810 --> 00:08:19,726
What, did you have
a party in here?
232
00:08:19,810 --> 00:08:22,226
Nope. Nope. Just me.
233
00:08:22,309 --> 00:08:24,059
Can I make you
something to drink?
234
00:08:24,768 --> 00:08:26,267
Uh, no, thanks.
235
00:08:26,351 --> 00:08:28,017
Okay.
236
00:08:28,101 --> 00:08:30,476
You know, you're trying
to sell a house.
237
00:08:30,559 --> 00:08:31,935
-It's-- (laughs)
-Oh.
238
00:08:32,017 --> 00:08:33,976
It's gonna be hard
to sell a house like,
like this.
239
00:08:34,059 --> 00:08:35,935
I gotta tidy up a bit,
I know.
240
00:08:36,017 --> 00:08:38,393
You know, it's all based
on first impressions.
241
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:40,726
-People come over,
they're gonna see this...
-Yeah.
242
00:08:40,810 --> 00:08:42,059
...and then no one's
gonna buy it.
243
00:08:42,142 --> 00:08:44,101
All right.
I'll take care of it, Dad.
244
00:08:44,184 --> 00:08:46,101
-(laughs) Oh. Yeah.
-Hey.
245
00:08:46,184 --> 00:08:48,976
Heard about the whole
Cheryl-Ted blowup in Mexico.
246
00:08:49,059 --> 00:08:50,810
-Oh.
-(laughs)
Oh, boy.
247
00:08:50,893 --> 00:08:53,059
-Little bit of ash. Sorry.
-Yeah, that was...
248
00:08:53,142 --> 00:08:55,184
-That was wild.
-Yeah, that made me happy.
249
00:08:55,267 --> 00:08:57,017
-Oh, you-- Really?
-Little Miss Perfect.
Yeah.
250
00:08:57,101 --> 00:08:58,935
It made me feel better
about myself.
251
00:08:59,601 --> 00:09:01,643
Boy, you two used
to get along so well.
252
00:09:01,726 --> 00:09:03,643
Yeah, well, not anymore.
253
00:09:03,726 --> 00:09:05,976
You sure I can't get you
something to drink?
254
00:09:06,059 --> 00:09:07,976
No. What are you drinking
in the daytime for?
255
00:09:08,059 --> 00:09:10,393
-Who drinks in the daytime?
-People who go to brunch.
256
00:09:10,476 --> 00:09:11,893
Well, we're not at brunch.
257
00:09:11,976 --> 00:09:13,851
Okay.
So I am not having
a mimosa.
258
00:09:14,393 --> 00:09:17,309
-All right.
-What, what, what do you--
What do you want?
259
00:09:17,393 --> 00:09:19,017
-What, what's going on?
-Okay. Well,
260
00:09:19,101 --> 00:09:20,726
obviously, I heard
you're selling the house.
261
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,351
Yeah.
(clears throat)
262
00:09:22,434 --> 00:09:24,768
You know,
the thing is, Becky,
263
00:09:24,851 --> 00:09:27,851
you know, I did buy you
the house, so...
264
00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:29,893
-I know.
-It's kind of my house.
265
00:09:29,976 --> 00:09:32,768
-No. No, you--
-I paid for the house.
266
00:09:32,851 --> 00:09:35,893
-And I thought it was only
fair and reasonable--
-Okay.
267
00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:39,017
I'm gonna let you
keep the profits
268
00:09:39,101 --> 00:09:40,434
to, to the house.
269
00:09:40,518 --> 00:09:43,393
But of course,
I'll get my investment back.
270
00:09:43,476 --> 00:09:46,476
No, no, no. No.
271
00:09:46,851 --> 00:09:50,643
-Hey.
Say I gave you $700,000--
-It's my house.
272
00:09:51,935 --> 00:09:54,434
Please don't do
this to me, okay?
273
00:09:54,518 --> 00:09:56,434
Please don't do this.
This is my house.
274
00:09:56,518 --> 00:09:57,935
It's all I have left.
275
00:09:58,017 --> 00:10:01,810
(sobbing): Oh, my God.
Please don't do this to me.
276
00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:04,017
I, I lost my job.
277
00:10:04,101 --> 00:10:05,643
And my boyfriend
broke up with me.
278
00:10:05,851 --> 00:10:07,643
-Geez. Don't cry--
-He was from Poland,
279
00:10:07,726 --> 00:10:10,893
and it turns out
all he wanted was a visa.
280
00:10:10,976 --> 00:10:13,935
-(sobbing)
-Okay, you...
281
00:10:14,017 --> 00:10:16,976
Forget, forget it.
You, you, you can keep
the house.
282
00:10:17,059 --> 00:10:19,101
You can keep all the money,
keep, keep the profits.
283
00:10:19,184 --> 00:10:21,059
-Keep, keep it all.
-(Becky panting)
284
00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:24,559
-Is this a joke?
-No. No. No.
285
00:10:24,643 --> 00:10:25,893
-You mean it?
-Keep it all.
286
00:10:25,976 --> 00:10:28,893
-Thank you, Larry.
-Keep it. You can have it.
287
00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:31,059
Yeah. It's okay.
288
00:10:33,810 --> 00:10:35,893
♪
289
00:10:37,935 --> 00:10:39,142
-Really?
-Yeah.
290
00:10:39,226 --> 00:10:40,643
-Wow.
-I know.
291
00:10:40,726 --> 00:10:42,976
I think I always had a secret
little crush on her.
292
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:44,351
-Me too.
-Yeah.
293
00:10:44,434 --> 00:10:46,267
It was in the daytime.
294
00:10:46,351 --> 00:10:48,017
I love daytime sex.
295
00:10:48,101 --> 00:10:49,601
You're filled with energy.
296
00:10:49,685 --> 00:10:52,393
-Yes! I mean, nighttime,
you're so close to going to bed.
-Filled!
297
00:10:52,476 --> 00:10:54,309
-Right!
-Why are you doing that
before you go to bed?
298
00:10:54,393 --> 00:10:56,142
-The whole thing should be
all flipped around.
-I know.
299
00:10:56,226 --> 00:10:57,726
-It should never happen
at night.
-The daytime.
300
00:10:57,810 --> 00:10:58,893
-Always during the day.
-Yes.
301
00:10:58,976 --> 00:11:00,434
Ah. It's Jon.
302
00:11:00,518 --> 00:11:02,643
-What's going on?
-Nothing. We're just
going out to dinner.
303
00:11:02,726 --> 00:11:05,142
-Is that working out okay?
-Yeah. Yeah.
304
00:11:05,226 --> 00:11:07,184
Cheryl:
Where is he?
305
00:11:09,434 --> 00:11:12,393
Did you have sex
with my sister Becky?
306
00:11:12,476 --> 00:11:14,059
Who said that?
307
00:11:14,768 --> 00:11:15,726
Becky!
308
00:11:15,810 --> 00:11:16,976
What did she say?
309
00:11:17,059 --> 00:11:19,226
She said,
"Guess who I fucked?"
310
00:11:19,309 --> 00:11:22,017
-Huh...
-Oh, my God.
311
00:11:22,101 --> 00:11:24,893
-He did.
-Oh, my God!
312
00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:26,851
-What, what are you thinking?
-I was there,
313
00:11:26,935 --> 00:11:30,518
and she was,
she-she was upset,
she was sobbing,
314
00:11:30,601 --> 00:11:32,518
and I consoled her, and...
315
00:11:32,601 --> 00:11:34,351
And, you know, it just,
it happened.
316
00:11:34,434 --> 00:11:36,101
-Larry: That's why.
-Yeah, what about the money?
317
00:11:36,184 --> 00:11:37,476
I told her, uh,
318
00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:39,351
she didn't have to, uh,
share the money with me.
319
00:11:39,434 --> 00:11:41,685
-Oh, my God.
-That's, that's
like prostitution.
320
00:11:41,768 --> 00:11:44,226
-It was consensual sex
between two adults!
-Oh, my God.
321
00:11:44,309 --> 00:11:47,017
-There's nothing wrong
with that, as far as I know!
-Susie: She was vulnerable.
322
00:11:47,101 --> 00:11:49,142
We were all in the
living room over there
323
00:11:49,226 --> 00:11:50,685
when you gave a big speech,
324
00:11:50,768 --> 00:11:52,393
and you were gonna
march over there
325
00:11:52,476 --> 00:11:54,476
-and get your money back
for that house.
-I did march over there,
326
00:11:54,559 --> 00:11:55,935
and then I felt sorry for her.
327
00:11:56,017 --> 00:11:57,393
-Oh, my--
-Yeah, you marched over there,
328
00:11:57,476 --> 00:11:58,768
you got
a fuckin' blow job,
329
00:11:58,851 --> 00:12:00,226
and then you gave
the house away.
330
00:12:00,309 --> 00:12:02,184
There's a million
fuckin' women
in the world.
331
00:12:02,267 --> 00:12:05,226
-You have to have sex
with Cheryl's sister?
-What?
332
00:12:05,309 --> 00:12:06,851
-Oh. Hey, Jonny.
-(Jon laughs)
333
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:08,685
Uh, yeah.
The door was ajar.
334
00:12:08,768 --> 00:12:09,851
The fuck are you
doing in my house?
335
00:12:09,935 --> 00:12:11,393
What is Jon Hamm
doing in my house?
336
00:12:11,476 --> 00:12:13,476
-He's, he's, um...
-Hold on. Yeah,
I should get this down.
337
00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:14,685
He's starring in a movie,
338
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:16,226
and he's kind of,
you know, shadowing me.
339
00:12:16,309 --> 00:12:17,851
He's bas--
The character's based on me.
340
00:12:17,935 --> 00:12:20,226
So, the character
is a disgusting pervert?
341
00:12:20,309 --> 00:12:22,059
That's good.
(laughs)
342
00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:24,059
It's actually not funny,
Jon Hamm.
343
00:12:24,309 --> 00:12:26,059
Oh, no, no. I'm not here.
Act like I'm not here.
344
00:12:26,142 --> 00:12:27,893
-I'm just a fly
on the wall. Just, uh--
-Larry: Hey.
345
00:12:27,976 --> 00:12:29,393
-New sneaks?
-Oh, yeah.
346
00:12:29,476 --> 00:12:31,017
-Good, right?
How comfortable?
-Love 'em.
347
00:12:31,101 --> 00:12:33,601
-Yeah.
-Cheryl: Hey, guys?
This is not the time, okay?
348
00:12:33,685 --> 00:12:35,226
It's my house,
you're in my house.
349
00:12:35,309 --> 00:12:37,017
-Jon: I'm terribly sorry.
-You crossed a line...
350
00:12:37,101 --> 00:12:38,601
-...this time.
-You crossed a line!
351
00:12:38,685 --> 00:12:40,142
-Oh, my God.
-Larry: I didn't cross a line.
352
00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:42,267
I went over the line
that you already crossed.
353
00:12:42,351 --> 00:12:43,601
-What?
-Larry: He's a friend.
354
00:12:43,685 --> 00:12:45,893
Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry.
Ted and Larry,
355
00:12:45,976 --> 00:12:48,476
it's just like
you and your sister.
It's the same thing.
356
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,935
-It's nowhere close.
-It is not close.
357
00:12:51,017 --> 00:12:53,935
It is close! She slept
with my friend, Ted Danson.
358
00:12:54,017 --> 00:12:55,768
-Okay?
-Larry: Okay.
That's fine.
359
00:12:55,851 --> 00:12:58,267
-But I can't sleep
with her sister?
-It feels like the same thing.
360
00:12:58,351 --> 00:13:01,434
-Because Ted is like
a sister to Larry.
-Larry: Yeah!
361
00:13:01,518 --> 00:13:03,434
No. It's a relationship
with Ted.
362
00:13:03,518 --> 00:13:05,393
-It's not,
I didn't just go have s--
-Larry: Oh, it's a relationship?
363
00:13:05,476 --> 00:13:07,184
Who's to say that I'm not
gonna have a relationship
364
00:13:07,267 --> 00:13:08,685
-with Becky,
what do you mean?
-Cheryl: Oh, my God.
365
00:13:08,768 --> 00:13:11,142
Susie:
You know how jealous
Becky is of Cheryl.
366
00:13:11,226 --> 00:13:14,810
You know that Becky thinks
of herself as Princess Margaret,
367
00:13:14,893 --> 00:13:16,768
and that Cheryl
is Queen Elizabeth.
368
00:13:16,851 --> 00:13:18,935
-Yeah. Right.
-Yeah. Oh, and you think
you're Prince Philip?
369
00:13:19,017 --> 00:13:20,142
Is that what you're saying?
370
00:13:20,226 --> 00:13:21,643
-Yeah.
-Cheryl: Oh, my God.
371
00:13:21,726 --> 00:13:24,643
Prince Philip would put
a fucking gun to his head
372
00:13:24,726 --> 00:13:26,935
before he had you
representing him.
373
00:13:27,017 --> 00:13:28,976
Again, real quick,
are we talking about
The Crown now?
374
00:13:29,059 --> 00:13:30,601
-Yeah.
-How good is that show?
375
00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:32,976
You know what, Jon Hamm,
it was nice meeting you.
376
00:13:33,059 --> 00:13:34,643
But, really,
this is between us.
377
00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:37,434
You know what,
I've heard enough.
Come on, Jonny. Let's go eat.
378
00:13:37,518 --> 00:13:39,101
-I'll call you.
-You've had enough...
379
00:13:39,184 --> 00:13:40,559
-...you petty piece of shit.
-Thank you so much,
by the way.
380
00:13:40,643 --> 00:13:42,601
Susie:
Yeah, it's great.
It's great.
381
00:13:42,685 --> 00:13:45,184
-Go, go be him, asshole.
-Thank you.
382
00:13:49,351 --> 00:13:51,476
-Aw, man.
-Larry: What are you doing?
383
00:13:51,559 --> 00:13:54,559
You just plopped
that into your,
into your water?
384
00:13:54,643 --> 00:13:57,184
Yeah, I plopped it in
because I like lime
with my water.
385
00:13:57,267 --> 00:13:59,685
I know but they,
they don't wash
these rinds.
386
00:13:59,768 --> 00:14:01,476
You gotta have
some trust in people.
387
00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:04,184
You ever see
signs in bathrooms,
"Wash before leaving"?
388
00:14:04,267 --> 00:14:05,893
It doesn't matter
if their hands are clean.
389
00:14:05,976 --> 00:14:07,518
-Richard: They don't have to--
-The rind's dirty.
390
00:14:07,601 --> 00:14:10,059
-You get a disease.
-Aah, please.
391
00:14:10,142 --> 00:14:11,685
It's bullshit.
392
00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:14,017
And I'm really irked
about something, man.
393
00:14:14,101 --> 00:14:15,518
Did you say "irked"?
394
00:14:16,101 --> 00:14:18,518
-Yeah, irked.
-I never heard you use
that word before, but go ahead.
395
00:14:18,601 --> 00:14:21,685
I'm irked because--
with all due respect--
396
00:14:21,768 --> 00:14:23,309
Jon is here, and Michelle is--
397
00:14:23,393 --> 00:14:24,893
you wouldn't let Michelle
come to dinner.
398
00:14:24,976 --> 00:14:26,851
I have to watch
my Ps and Qs.
399
00:14:26,935 --> 00:14:28,643
I don't wanna watch
Ps and Qs.
400
00:14:28,726 --> 00:14:30,059
Do you wanna watch
Ps and Qs?
401
00:14:30,142 --> 00:14:31,935
What are you, Shari Lewis?
Where's Lamb Chop?
402
00:14:32,017 --> 00:14:33,643
-In your pants?
-(laughing)
403
00:14:33,726 --> 00:14:37,017
-Look, she's irked.
-She's irked.
404
00:14:37,101 --> 00:14:38,518
So you're both irked?
405
00:14:38,601 --> 00:14:42,184
She's so angry at me
that I had to, you know,
make an excuse.
406
00:14:42,267 --> 00:14:43,559
Oh. What did you say?
407
00:14:43,643 --> 00:14:45,351
I said you had
a bleeding rectum,
408
00:14:45,434 --> 00:14:47,101
and that you were
worried and scared,
409
00:14:47,184 --> 00:14:48,851
and you needed
to talk to me alone,
410
00:14:48,935 --> 00:14:51,184
and you'd be embarrassed
if she heard it.
411
00:14:51,267 --> 00:14:53,726
Are you out of
your fucking mind?
412
00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,601
-Well...
-You couldn't think of
a better excuse than that?
413
00:14:55,685 --> 00:14:57,518
You should have called me.
I got thousands of 'em.
414
00:14:57,601 --> 00:14:59,935
-I can't even face her now.
-Why not?
415
00:15:00,017 --> 00:15:02,059
Nobody respects a person
with a bleeding rectum.
416
00:15:02,142 --> 00:15:04,226
You think Lincoln
could have prosecuted a war
417
00:15:04,309 --> 00:15:06,017
if people knew he had
a bleeding rectum?
418
00:15:06,101 --> 00:15:07,893
And by the way, when you
come to the dinner party
419
00:15:07,976 --> 00:15:09,559
in a few days,
I would not mention it.
420
00:15:09,643 --> 00:15:11,351
Who mentions that
at a dinner party?
421
00:15:11,434 --> 00:15:13,893
Do I still have it
or-or am I over it?
422
00:15:13,976 --> 00:15:15,976
No, I left it open.
423
00:15:16,059 --> 00:15:17,976
Sorry to hear that.
424
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:19,976
Jon:
I also-- Can I say,
425
00:15:20,059 --> 00:15:21,601
we ordered this
kind of for the table,
426
00:15:21,685 --> 00:15:23,768
and I feel like you've
gone way over your
427
00:15:23,851 --> 00:15:25,309
appetizer allotment
at this point.
428
00:15:25,393 --> 00:15:27,559
-My allotment?
-Jon: Well,
there's three of us.
429
00:15:27,643 --> 00:15:30,434
-We each get a third.
-Who makes up
that fuckin' rule?
430
00:15:30,518 --> 00:15:32,142
Both:
It's an unwritten rule.
431
00:15:32,226 --> 00:15:33,643
Oh, my God.
432
00:15:33,726 --> 00:15:35,393
There's two Larry Davids.
433
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:37,267
Holy shit.
434
00:15:37,351 --> 00:15:38,685
Pretty good.
435
00:15:38,768 --> 00:15:41,309
Pretty, pretty good.
436
00:15:44,226 --> 00:15:45,893
Both:
Aah.
437
00:15:47,643 --> 00:15:48,976
(knocking on door)
438
00:15:51,309 --> 00:15:53,893
-She threw me out.
-She threw you out?
439
00:15:53,976 --> 00:15:56,184
-Yep. Yep, yep, yep, yep.
-Why?
440
00:15:56,267 --> 00:15:59,685
Well, she doesn't like
the way I defended you
being with Becky.
441
00:15:59,768 --> 00:16:02,559
-Come on in.
Make yourself at home.
-I will.
442
00:16:02,643 --> 00:16:03,810
I, I gotta go.
443
00:16:03,893 --> 00:16:05,309
-Where are you going?
-I'm going to Becky's.
444
00:16:05,393 --> 00:16:08,309
Oh. If you keep going
to Becky's,
445
00:16:08,393 --> 00:16:10,184
I can't go home.
446
00:16:10,267 --> 00:16:11,643
Keep going to Becky's.
447
00:16:11,726 --> 00:16:13,559
-I'll see you later.
-Bedroom's upstairs.
448
00:16:13,643 --> 00:16:15,309
-Second one.
-Got it.
449
00:16:15,393 --> 00:16:17,184
Okay.
450
00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:19,518
(clattering)
451
00:16:22,726 --> 00:16:26,184
♪ ♪
452
00:16:31,393 --> 00:16:34,309
(whistling)
453
00:16:34,393 --> 00:16:36,893
(clattering)
454
00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:41,351
No.
455
00:16:43,935 --> 00:16:46,601
♪ ♪
456
00:16:49,935 --> 00:16:51,434
You're welcome.
457
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,851
(both laughing)
458
00:17:01,935 --> 00:17:05,476
We did it.
We did it!
459
00:17:08,017 --> 00:17:09,851
You didn't expect
an airport drop-off,
did you?
460
00:17:09,935 --> 00:17:12,434
-Nope. Nobody expects
an airport drop-off anymore.
-Ah? Airport drop-off.
461
00:17:12,518 --> 00:17:14,935
-All right, well,
have fun skiing.
-I will.
462
00:17:15,017 --> 00:17:16,518
I'll text you when I land.
463
00:17:16,601 --> 00:17:18,017
-Eh, not necessary.
-I didn't really want to.
464
00:17:18,101 --> 00:17:19,601
-Yeah.
-It's like an extra,
unnecessary step.
465
00:17:19,685 --> 00:17:22,142
-I'll find out if you're dead.
-Yeah, yeah. You'll know.
466
00:17:22,226 --> 00:17:23,685
-Yeah.
-You got big plans
for when I'm gone?
467
00:17:23,768 --> 00:17:25,351
I'm gonna help
a friend out
468
00:17:25,434 --> 00:17:27,059
with his, uh,
with his new business.
469
00:17:27,142 --> 00:17:28,267
-Cool.
-Yeah.
470
00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:30,184
-Thank you.
-Bye.
471
00:17:31,601 --> 00:17:34,101
Leon:
He told her you had
a bleeding rectum?
472
00:17:34,184 --> 00:17:36,226
Yeah. Now I gotta
walk around
473
00:17:36,309 --> 00:17:38,559
knowing this woman thinks
I have a bleeding rectum.
474
00:17:38,643 --> 00:17:39,685
I can't live like that.
475
00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:41,226
'Cause once that
starts to spread,
476
00:17:41,309 --> 00:17:42,393
she's gonna tell everybody.
477
00:17:42,476 --> 00:17:43,768
And the worst part is,
478
00:17:43,851 --> 00:17:45,726
no one's ever gonna know
that the bleeding stopped.
479
00:17:45,810 --> 00:17:48,267
People are thinkin',
how does he stop
the bleedin'?
480
00:17:48,351 --> 00:17:49,559
Is he wearin' a pad?
481
00:17:49,643 --> 00:17:51,351
Is he, is he a little boy,
a little Dutch boy
482
00:17:51,434 --> 00:17:52,601
with his finger in his ass,
483
00:17:52,685 --> 00:17:54,643
with wooden shoes on,
with socks to his knee,
484
00:17:54,726 --> 00:17:56,893
little shorts on, little vest,
little top hat on,
485
00:17:56,976 --> 00:17:58,726
with his finger
in your damn rectum?
486
00:17:58,810 --> 00:18:00,393
Right. Right.
487
00:18:00,476 --> 00:18:02,393
Hey.
There's a parking lot.
488
00:18:02,476 --> 00:18:04,059
-Woo, let's go.
-Yeah, let's do it.
489
00:18:04,142 --> 00:18:07,559
(laughing)
Get to work, baby.
"Gotta Go"!
490
00:18:08,685 --> 00:18:10,101
Can I help you guys?
491
00:18:10,184 --> 00:18:12,434
We got, uh, we got a little
business proposition for you.
492
00:18:12,518 --> 00:18:13,601
My name's Larry.
493
00:18:13,685 --> 00:18:15,017
-Hey, Larry.
-This is Leon.
494
00:18:15,101 --> 00:18:16,768
-I'm Bill.
-Here. Here you go, Bill.
495
00:18:16,851 --> 00:18:18,059
-"Gotta Go"?
-That's right.
496
00:18:18,142 --> 00:18:20,101
You ever sit in that booth
at this time of day
497
00:18:20,184 --> 00:18:21,893
and gotta go to the bathroom,
what do you do?
498
00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:23,142
I just stay in the booth.
499
00:18:23,226 --> 00:18:24,976
I can't go anywhere,
just gotta hold it in.
500
00:18:25,059 --> 00:18:26,976
Until now.
For a dollar a minute,
501
00:18:27,059 --> 00:18:28,851
five dollar minimum,
I will sit in that booth
502
00:18:28,935 --> 00:18:30,434
while you go
and use the bathroom.
503
00:18:30,518 --> 00:18:32,142
-You're serious?
-Very serious.
504
00:18:32,226 --> 00:18:34,267
-Right now,
I really have to go.
-Larry: Go!
505
00:18:34,351 --> 00:18:35,434
Leon:
Go ahead, brother.
506
00:18:35,518 --> 00:18:37,059
-I'll be right back.
-My man.
507
00:18:37,142 --> 00:18:38,768
-Thank you.
-My man, I got you!
508
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:40,351
My man, you gotta go!
509
00:18:40,434 --> 00:18:41,643
Ha-ha!
510
00:18:41,726 --> 00:18:43,434
-Look at this shit,
Larry. Woo!
-Huh? Told ya.
511
00:18:43,518 --> 00:18:46,476
-Did I tell ya? Huh? I told ya!
-You fuckin' told me, Larry.
512
00:18:48,726 --> 00:18:50,893
-You order a "Gotta Go"?
-Yes, I gotta go.
513
00:18:50,976 --> 00:18:52,476
-Okay. You go.
-Thank you.
514
00:18:52,559 --> 00:18:54,393
-Before I gotta go.
Get on out of here.
-Okay.
515
00:18:54,851 --> 00:18:57,518
-Gino! Go handle
your business.
-Bye.
516
00:19:01,559 --> 00:19:03,267
-(spits)
-Hey. Excuse me.
517
00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:05,976
-You just spat on my shoe.
-It's a fuckin' spit shine.
518
00:19:06,059 --> 00:19:07,309
-It's a-- Stop!
-(spits)
519
00:19:07,393 --> 00:19:08,851
Stop!
Stop spitting on my shoe.
520
00:19:08,935 --> 00:19:10,226
I'm not, I'm not paying
for this.
521
00:19:10,309 --> 00:19:11,851
-Okay?
-Your tips are appreciated.
522
00:19:11,935 --> 00:19:14,768
Give me a fuckin' break.
I'm not giving you a cent.
523
00:19:14,851 --> 00:19:17,935
Fuck it, then.
I don't give a fuck.
I don't work here.
524
00:19:18,017 --> 00:19:20,184
Woo!
525
00:19:20,267 --> 00:19:22,518
Ha-ha! Woo!
526
00:19:22,601 --> 00:19:24,726
♪ ♪
527
00:19:27,559 --> 00:19:28,976
Thank you.
528
00:19:29,059 --> 00:19:30,226
-Thank you for having me.
-Thank you.
529
00:19:30,309 --> 00:19:31,851
-Yes, indeed.
-My pleasure to have you.
530
00:19:31,935 --> 00:19:33,351
-And by the way,
your home is lovely.
-You're welcome.
531
00:19:33,434 --> 00:19:35,017
I should be complimenting
you, too, because--
532
00:19:35,101 --> 00:19:36,601
Richard:
Well, I did pick out,
533
00:19:36,685 --> 00:19:38,142
I would say,
a majority of the stuff.
534
00:19:38,226 --> 00:19:40,142
Jon:
Well, I can tell.
Great taste.
535
00:19:40,226 --> 00:19:41,726
Michelle (muttering):
He's sitting down, Richard.
536
00:19:41,810 --> 00:19:42,893
Richard, he's sitting down.
I can't--
537
00:19:42,976 --> 00:19:44,559
He's gotta sit somewhere.
538
00:19:44,643 --> 00:19:46,184
-I can't--
I don't want--
-You know what?
539
00:19:46,267 --> 00:19:48,351
You can't sit on the arm.
It's too thin.
540
00:19:48,434 --> 00:19:50,893
-No, I like a thick, cushy arm.
-I agree with you.
541
00:19:50,976 --> 00:19:54,017
Excuse me, everyone,
but dinner is ready.
542
00:19:54,101 --> 00:19:56,184
-Please follow me
into the dining room.
-Okay.
543
00:19:56,267 --> 00:19:57,601
This way.
544
00:19:57,685 --> 00:20:00,768
We have assigned seating,
so everyone find your name.
545
00:20:01,184 --> 00:20:03,643
-Jon: Here we are.
-Welcome. Here we are.
546
00:20:03,726 --> 00:20:05,184
Richard, darling, this way.
547
00:20:05,267 --> 00:20:06,935
-Richard: Thank you, babe.
-Michelle: Next to me.
548
00:20:07,017 --> 00:20:08,351
-Thank you.
-Michelle.
549
00:20:08,434 --> 00:20:11,017
Wh-what's with the, uh,
wooden chair here?
550
00:20:11,101 --> 00:20:12,768
Oh, you know,
I'm so sorry.
551
00:20:12,851 --> 00:20:14,893
I-I-- This set only
comes with seven chairs.
552
00:20:14,976 --> 00:20:16,685
-Seven chairs.
-Richard:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
553
00:20:16,768 --> 00:20:18,393
-How unusual.
-Richard:
I was with her.
554
00:20:18,476 --> 00:20:20,810
-I never heard of that before.
-Yeah. You know what?
It was odd.
555
00:20:20,893 --> 00:20:23,351
It was weird,
but I, I loved them,
so, I went with it.
556
00:20:23,434 --> 00:20:25,059
-Ah.
-Richard: Hey,
we're having a dinner.
557
00:20:25,142 --> 00:20:27,434
-Come on.
Let's enjoy ourselves.
-Okay, sure. You're right.
558
00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:29,434
-Let's all enjoy.
Let's enjoy.
-Yes!
559
00:20:29,518 --> 00:20:31,017
-Michelle: Let's enjoy.
-Let's enjoy.
560
00:20:31,101 --> 00:20:32,810
-That's the spirit.
That's the spirit.
-There we go.
561
00:20:32,893 --> 00:20:34,309
-Yes, let's enjoy.
-Bless the new table.
562
00:20:34,393 --> 00:20:36,726
-About time.
-Can I, uh, talk to you
in the kitchen...
563
00:20:36,810 --> 00:20:37,851
-...for a second?
-Who, me?
564
00:20:37,935 --> 00:20:39,017
-Yeah.
-What now?
565
00:20:39,101 --> 00:20:40,810
You got me sitting
in that wooden chair?
566
00:20:40,893 --> 00:20:43,101
-It's embarrassing.
-It's new furniture.
567
00:20:43,184 --> 00:20:45,559
She's afraid if you sit on it,
you're gonna ruin it.
568
00:20:45,643 --> 00:20:47,267
I don't have
a bleeding rectum. Okay?
569
00:20:47,351 --> 00:20:48,768
And even if I did,
570
00:20:48,851 --> 00:20:50,393
it's not gonna bleed
onto the chair.
571
00:20:50,476 --> 00:20:53,142
How stupid!
You could have said
a million different things.
572
00:20:53,226 --> 00:20:54,768
A rectum came
to my mind first.
573
00:20:54,851 --> 00:20:57,267
You could have at least
said I was better,
that I was over it.
574
00:20:57,351 --> 00:20:58,935
-I forgot.
-All right.
575
00:20:59,017 --> 00:21:00,101
The chair's in the house.
576
00:21:00,184 --> 00:21:02,518
You tell the CEO
that I want that chair.
577
00:21:02,601 --> 00:21:04,017
You can't get one.
578
00:21:04,101 --> 00:21:05,434
If I don't get
a normal chair,
579
00:21:05,518 --> 00:21:08,267
I'm gonna blow this
bullshit bleeding rectum story
580
00:21:08,351 --> 00:21:10,184
sky high. Okay?
581
00:21:10,267 --> 00:21:11,851
So get me a normal chair.
582
00:21:11,935 --> 00:21:13,476
I'd really appreciate it.
583
00:21:13,559 --> 00:21:15,267
All right,
you'll get the chair.
584
00:21:15,351 --> 00:21:16,768
-Okay?
-Michelle: That's great.
585
00:21:16,851 --> 00:21:18,851
Let's get
the salads, and...
586
00:21:18,935 --> 00:21:21,393
egg rolls out.
We'll wait about
15 minutes for dinner?
587
00:21:21,476 --> 00:21:23,059
Hey, Michelle.
Hi, honey.
588
00:21:23,142 --> 00:21:25,601
-Hi. What's going on?
-Listen, I spoke to Larry,
589
00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:27,726
and he's really embarrassed,
and, uh...
590
00:21:27,810 --> 00:21:29,267
you gotta get him the chair.
591
00:21:29,351 --> 00:21:31,476
-Oh, no. Absolutely not.
-You have to get him
a regular chair.
592
00:21:31,559 --> 00:21:33,184
No, he's not--
he's not sitting
in the chair.
593
00:21:33,267 --> 00:21:36,226
-No.
-He said he'd really
appreciate it.
594
00:21:36,726 --> 00:21:39,393
Really? He said that?
He said he would appreciate it?
595
00:21:39,476 --> 00:21:41,476
Yeah,
I wouldn't lie to you.
596
00:21:41,559 --> 00:21:43,142
Okay. Okay, fine.
Fine, fine.
597
00:21:43,226 --> 00:21:45,226
Let him, let him sit
in the chair, but...
598
00:21:45,309 --> 00:21:47,643
if he bleeds in my new chair,
599
00:21:47,726 --> 00:21:49,726
you're in big fuckin' trouble.
600
00:21:51,309 --> 00:21:52,643
(sighs)
601
00:21:52,726 --> 00:21:54,059
-All: Ooh.
-Mm.
602
00:21:54,142 --> 00:21:55,601
Cassie:
Okay. So, Jon.
603
00:21:55,685 --> 00:21:58,935
-you're playing
a Larry-type character...
-Yes.
604
00:21:59,017 --> 00:22:00,434
...in this movie.
So, uh,
605
00:22:00,518 --> 00:22:01,893
what does
the character even do?
606
00:22:01,976 --> 00:22:03,810
-He's a sitcom writer.
-Cassie: Of course.
607
00:22:03,893 --> 00:22:05,643
Uh, but the whole--
Very successful.
The whole thing is,
608
00:22:05,726 --> 00:22:08,476
it turns out that
the thing he's most known for,
609
00:22:08,559 --> 00:22:11,017
his big sitcom
that he created,
610
00:22:11,101 --> 00:22:13,476
he stole it from
an Australian sitcom.
611
00:22:13,559 --> 00:22:15,059
-Larry: What?
-The guy's a total fraud.
612
00:22:15,142 --> 00:22:16,226
He stole the idea.
613
00:22:16,309 --> 00:22:17,309
-He stole--
-What?
614
00:22:17,393 --> 00:22:18,685
What do you mean?
Stole it?
615
00:22:18,768 --> 00:22:19,768
I didn't steal anything.
616
00:22:19,851 --> 00:22:21,017
No, in the movie,
not you.
617
00:22:21,101 --> 00:22:22,726
-It sort of implies that...
-Larry: Yeah!
618
00:22:22,810 --> 00:22:24,267
-...their show is stolen.
-Larry: Yes!
619
00:22:24,351 --> 00:22:26,017
The character's name
is Lawrence Dean.
620
00:22:26,101 --> 00:22:27,685
-Lawrence Dean? What?
-It isn't the same
as Larry David.
621
00:22:27,768 --> 00:22:31,142
Hey, hey, hey.
Guess what I found?
I found a chair!
622
00:22:31,226 --> 00:22:32,518
All:
Oh!
623
00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:34,226
Yes! Hey!
624
00:22:34,309 --> 00:22:36,893
-What a miracle.
-Richard:
It was in the garage.
625
00:22:36,976 --> 00:22:38,184
Michelle: How come
you didn't tell me?
626
00:22:38,267 --> 00:22:39,601
Richard:
I didn't know it was a chair.
627
00:22:39,685 --> 00:22:40,851
-It was all wrapped up.
-Ooh.
628
00:22:40,935 --> 00:22:42,184
It was wrapped up
in plastic.
629
00:22:42,267 --> 00:22:44,351
I thought it was, uh,
my dead grandmother's ghost.
630
00:22:44,434 --> 00:22:47,017
-I didn't know
what the fuck it was.
-How could you not tell me?
631
00:22:47,101 --> 00:22:48,976
-What a lucky thing.
-Richard: Yeah.
632
00:22:49,059 --> 00:22:51,434
Because they didn't know,
and they just found it
633
00:22:51,518 --> 00:22:53,851
-in the garage.
-It all worked out.
Look at that!
634
00:22:53,935 --> 00:22:56,184
-They're very comfortable,
very pretty.
-Larry: Yeah.
635
00:22:56,267 --> 00:22:58,643
It's very bouncy.
It's, it's kind of bouncy.
636
00:22:58,726 --> 00:22:59,851
Larry:
Yeah. I love this chair.
637
00:22:59,935 --> 00:23:01,226
Jon:
Now we can eat.
638
00:23:01,309 --> 00:23:03,351
-Want more of these?
-Larry: Ah. Love Chinese.
639
00:23:03,434 --> 00:23:05,267
Thank you.
640
00:23:06,101 --> 00:23:09,935
You guys, do you pick up
the rice bowl and eat it
like this?
641
00:23:10,017 --> 00:23:12,643
Or do you start
on the table,
642
00:23:12,726 --> 00:23:14,851
and then pick it up,
pick the rice up?
643
00:23:14,935 --> 00:23:16,393
You pick up
the bowl first.
644
00:23:16,476 --> 00:23:17,851
Oh, you pick it right--
eat it right out
of the bowl.
645
00:23:17,935 --> 00:23:19,101
Yeah, eat right out
of the bowl.
646
00:23:19,184 --> 00:23:21,017
It's just like eating it
over the garbage can.
647
00:23:21,101 --> 00:23:22,893
-Alex: Huh?
-Larry: Yeah, yeah.
In a way.
648
00:23:22,976 --> 00:23:24,559
Oh, Michelle.
649
00:23:24,643 --> 00:23:27,518
-The walnut shrimp
is scrumptious.
-Mm.
650
00:23:27,601 --> 00:23:28,768
Scrumptious?
651
00:23:28,851 --> 00:23:30,893
-You think so?
-It's really good.
652
00:23:31,559 --> 00:23:33,935
-What are we waiting for?
-I mean, come on. Come on.
653
00:23:34,685 --> 00:23:36,434
-Larry: Hey, hey, hey, hey.
-What are you doing?
654
00:23:36,518 --> 00:23:38,685
-What are you doing?
I want the walnut shrimp?
-What are you doing?
655
00:23:38,768 --> 00:23:41,935
Andy:
I'm turning the Lazy Susan
the way it should be turned.
656
00:23:42,017 --> 00:23:43,810
-In order.
-Larry: No, no,
no, no, no.
657
00:23:43,893 --> 00:23:46,559
A Lazy Susan is like
a roundabout, okay?
658
00:23:46,643 --> 00:23:48,810
I'm sorry,
I don't think
you're right.
659
00:23:48,893 --> 00:23:50,601
-Cassie: Okay, can I--
-I don't think you know
how a roundabout works.
660
00:23:50,685 --> 00:23:52,267
It's first come, first serve.
That's a roundabout.
661
00:23:52,351 --> 00:23:54,768
-I do know how
a roundabout works.
-I don't think you do.
662
00:23:54,851 --> 00:23:57,059
-It works like a Lazy Susan.
-Larry: No!
663
00:23:57,142 --> 00:23:58,851
-The cars--
-That's now how
a lazy Susan works.
664
00:23:58,935 --> 00:24:00,476
-Can I ask you a favor, please?
-It's how a lazy Susan--
665
00:24:00,559 --> 00:24:02,226
Can I ask you both a favor?
666
00:24:02,309 --> 00:24:05,142
Can you please not use
that term "Lazy Susan"?
667
00:24:05,226 --> 00:24:07,935
It's got racist and sexist
connotations,
668
00:24:08,017 --> 00:24:09,393
and I'd really prefer
669
00:24:09,476 --> 00:24:11,768
-you just not call it that.
-Whoa.
670
00:24:11,851 --> 00:24:13,142
-Larry: Lazy Susan?
-Yes.
671
00:24:13,226 --> 00:24:14,810
Who's that racist towards?
Susans?
672
00:24:14,893 --> 00:24:16,851
Larry: That's crazy.
Where'd you get that?
-Cassie: Okay.
673
00:24:16,935 --> 00:24:18,893
I would just like you
to not use the term.
674
00:24:18,976 --> 00:24:20,685
You're right.
You know what?
It should be--
675
00:24:20,768 --> 00:24:22,726
We should definitely
start using
the Ambitious Susan.
676
00:24:22,810 --> 00:24:25,101
Yes, yes. Please spin
the Indefatigable Susan.
677
00:24:25,184 --> 00:24:28,851
Oh, can we have
the Multifaceted Susan
my way, please?
678
00:24:29,059 --> 00:24:30,810
Yeah, spin
the Industrious Susan.
679
00:24:30,893 --> 00:24:32,976
Ooh, can you spin
Ambidextrous Susan,
please.
680
00:24:33,059 --> 00:24:34,476
-Oh, the Ambidextrous Susan.
-Yes, both ways.
681
00:24:34,559 --> 00:24:36,267
-Both: Both ways.
-So funny. You want it?
682
00:24:36,351 --> 00:24:39,351
-You want it?
You want your stuff?
-Whoa!
683
00:24:39,434 --> 00:24:41,309
♪ ♪
684
00:24:41,393 --> 00:24:43,184
-(gasps)
-Whoa!
685
00:24:49,267 --> 00:24:50,935
Richard:
Oh, man.
686
00:24:51,851 --> 00:24:54,309
-Andy: Oh, boy.
-What did you do?
687
00:24:54,393 --> 00:24:56,142
-Larry: What? I, I didn't--
-What did you do?
688
00:24:56,226 --> 00:24:58,976
-She spun the thing
around like that.
-The thing, it was too fast.
689
00:24:59,059 --> 00:25:02,309
-You wouldn't shut up!
-(all arguing)
690
00:25:02,393 --> 00:25:04,851
I don't give a shit!
I want you out!
691
00:25:04,935 --> 00:25:07,768
-You're kicking me out?
-Michelle: Yeah. And you,
692
00:25:07,851 --> 00:25:09,685
Larry David Junior,
you can go, too.
693
00:25:09,768 --> 00:25:11,518
-You're kicking me out.
-Yes, Jon Hamm.
694
00:25:11,601 --> 00:25:14,184
-Hey, you're getting kicked out.
Look at that, beautiful.
-What's up, huh? Hey.
695
00:25:14,267 --> 00:25:16,059
Out!
696
00:25:16,476 --> 00:25:18,768
-All right.
-All right.
697
00:25:18,851 --> 00:25:21,017
-Okay. (grunts)
-We should, uh...
698
00:25:21,101 --> 00:25:22,768
-Eh.
-Eh.
699
00:25:29,518 --> 00:25:31,184
(cell phone rings)
700
00:25:31,267 --> 00:25:32,601
Larry:
Hey.
701
00:25:32,685 --> 00:25:34,851
Becky: Larry.
Oh, thank God
you answered.
702
00:25:34,935 --> 00:25:37,101
I just got in a huge accident
on Mount--
703
00:25:37,184 --> 00:25:38,559
-(screams)
-Wha?
704
00:25:38,643 --> 00:25:40,643
Becky (over phone):
It was a ski school
of children.
705
00:25:40,726 --> 00:25:42,893
They just flew
right in front of me. Ow!
706
00:25:42,976 --> 00:25:45,601
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
707
00:25:45,685 --> 00:25:47,101
They're taking me
to a hospital,
708
00:25:47,184 --> 00:25:48,726
and I don't--
I just don't know
where it is or...
709
00:25:48,810 --> 00:25:50,976
-I don't know this town.
-Okay, don't worry
about a thing.
710
00:25:51,059 --> 00:25:52,476
I'll be on the next flight
to Denver.
711
00:25:52,559 --> 00:25:54,393
-You would do that for me?
-Of course.
712
00:25:54,476 --> 00:25:57,226
Oh, my God, Larry.
You really are a prince.
713
00:25:57,309 --> 00:25:59,393
Don't worry. I'm calling
my travel agent right now.
714
00:25:59,476 --> 00:26:02,142
Thank you so, so much.
Ow!
715
00:26:02,226 --> 00:26:03,935
-(phone rings)
-Westside Travel and Tour.
716
00:26:04,017 --> 00:26:06,726
-Eliza speaking.
-Oh, hi. It's Larry David.
I have an emergency.
717
00:26:06,810 --> 00:26:08,893
I need to get
on the next flight
to Denver, please.
718
00:26:08,976 --> 00:26:11,059
I've got one leaving
in an hour and 40 minutes.
719
00:26:11,142 --> 00:26:13,017
Perfect. Fantastic.
Book it.
720
00:26:13,101 --> 00:26:15,059
Eliza:
Oh, you're lucky.
There's only one seat left.
721
00:26:15,142 --> 00:26:17,351
19E.
722
00:26:18,976 --> 00:26:20,393
19E.
723
00:26:20,476 --> 00:26:23,518
It's a coach seat.
Oh, it's a middle seat.
724
00:26:25,351 --> 00:26:27,059
Shall I book it?
725
00:26:27,142 --> 00:26:29,142
Any other flights
going to Denver?
726
00:26:29,226 --> 00:26:31,184
We've got a two,
a four,
727
00:26:31,267 --> 00:26:32,601
and a six.
728
00:26:32,685 --> 00:26:36,768
Anything in rows...
one through four?
729
00:26:36,851 --> 00:26:39,309
The only thing left
is coach.
730
00:26:40,434 --> 00:26:41,559
Okay.
731
00:26:42,685 --> 00:26:44,768
Give me the next
first-class flight to Denver.
732
00:26:44,851 --> 00:26:47,267
It's not until 9:00 p.m.
733
00:26:47,351 --> 00:26:49,518
9:00 p.m. Perfect.
I'll take it. Book it.
734
00:26:49,601 --> 00:26:50,976
Eliza:
Very well.
735
00:26:54,351 --> 00:26:56,476
(cell phone rings)
736
00:26:59,559 --> 00:27:00,393
Hey.
737
00:27:00,476 --> 00:27:01,309
Hey, Larry.
738
00:27:01,393 --> 00:27:02,559
I got a "Gotta Go"
emergency.
739
00:27:02,643 --> 00:27:04,226
I'm at the shoe shine shop,
right?
740
00:27:04,309 --> 00:27:06,017
And the guy must have
food poisoning.
741
00:27:06,101 --> 00:27:07,768
He's stuck on the fuckin'
toilet right now.
742
00:27:07,851 --> 00:27:09,142
So? What do you want
me to do?
743
00:27:09,226 --> 00:27:10,726
I need you to cover for me
at the newsstand.
744
00:27:10,810 --> 00:27:12,559
The guy relies on me
for his six o'clock piss.
745
00:27:12,643 --> 00:27:15,393
-I'll call you back.
-Leon (over phone):
Okay. Okay.
746
00:27:15,476 --> 00:27:17,393
-Larry: (claps) Hey.
-Yeah.
747
00:27:17,476 --> 00:27:19,810
I need you to do me a favor.
Actually, do Leon a favor.
748
00:27:19,893 --> 00:27:22,059
He needs somebody
to fill in for him
at the newsstand.
749
00:27:22,142 --> 00:27:23,810
-For the "Gotta Go" app?
-Yeah.
750
00:27:23,893 --> 00:27:24,893
I can't do it.
751
00:27:24,976 --> 00:27:26,518
No, no. You gotta do it.
I can't do it,
752
00:27:26,601 --> 00:27:27,810
because I have
to fly to Denver.
753
00:27:27,893 --> 00:27:30,309
-I already got
my sweats on.
-So what?
754
00:27:30,393 --> 00:27:31,810
Yeah, well, once I got
my sweats on,
755
00:27:31,893 --> 00:27:34,142
there's no going back.
I got my sweats on.
756
00:27:34,226 --> 00:27:36,059
What is it, an immutable
law of physics?
757
00:27:36,142 --> 00:27:37,476
Once you're in sweats,
you can't get out?
758
00:27:37,559 --> 00:27:38,518
Newton's Law of Sweats?
759
00:27:38,601 --> 00:27:41,768
It's Jeff Greene's Law
of Day Over.
760
00:27:41,851 --> 00:27:43,685
Listen, I'd really
appreciate it.
761
00:27:43,768 --> 00:27:46,309
-I'm in my sweats!
-(phone rings)
762
00:27:46,393 --> 00:27:48,393
-Hello?
-Larry, what the fuck
you doin', man?
763
00:27:48,476 --> 00:27:50,059
-Goddamn!
-Larry (over phone):
All right, okay!
764
00:27:50,142 --> 00:27:52,184
Shut the fuck up!
I'll come!
765
00:27:52,267 --> 00:27:54,059
Thank you.
Thank you, by the way.
766
00:27:54,142 --> 00:27:56,935
-(sneezes) Wow.
-Larry: God bless you.
767
00:28:02,017 --> 00:28:03,059
Hey.
768
00:28:03,142 --> 00:28:04,935
-Hey. I'm from "Gotta Go."
-Larry?
769
00:28:05,017 --> 00:28:07,017
-Yeah. Yeah.
-Oh.
770
00:28:07,101 --> 00:28:09,851
-I really gotta go.
-Okay. Okay. Hurry up.
771
00:28:09,935 --> 00:28:11,184
-Okay. I'll be quick.
-Okay.
772
00:28:11,267 --> 00:28:12,810
-Okay. Thank you.
-Yeah. Hurry up.
773
00:28:12,893 --> 00:28:14,226
Okay.
774
00:28:14,309 --> 00:28:16,726
(distant siren wailing)
775
00:28:17,142 --> 00:28:18,476
Fuck.
776
00:28:21,059 --> 00:28:22,184
Oh, my God.
777
00:28:22,267 --> 00:28:23,893
-(phone rings)
-Hello?
778
00:28:23,976 --> 00:28:25,685
Larry (over phone):
The newsstand guy
left 15 minutes ago.
779
00:28:25,768 --> 00:28:26,643
Hasn't come back.
780
00:28:26,726 --> 00:28:28,518
I gotta catch a plane to Denver.
781
00:28:28,601 --> 00:28:30,059
Hey, no browsing.
782
00:28:30,142 --> 00:28:31,726
Hey, do you carry
Vegan Living ?
783
00:28:31,810 --> 00:28:33,685
Who gives a shit?
Get the hell out of here.
784
00:28:33,768 --> 00:28:35,059
You gotta come
and relieve me.
785
00:28:35,142 --> 00:28:36,935
I can't, Larry.
I'm at the shoe shine stand.
786
00:28:37,017 --> 00:28:38,643
This guy's taking
a $40 shit.
787
00:28:38,726 --> 00:28:40,810
Larry (over phone):
Aw! All right,
I'll get somebody else.
788
00:28:43,768 --> 00:28:45,726
Thanks very much.
Hey.
789
00:28:45,810 --> 00:28:46,810
Larry:
Hey!
790
00:28:46,893 --> 00:28:48,643
-I got your back.
-Oh, my God.
791
00:28:48,726 --> 00:28:50,559
-You are a lifesaver.
-No worries, no worries.
792
00:28:50,643 --> 00:28:53,059
-Thank you so much.
-Not at all.
793
00:28:53,142 --> 00:28:54,393
Jonny.
794
00:28:54,476 --> 00:28:56,101
Really appreciate this.
795
00:28:56,184 --> 00:28:57,851
Hey, no prob--
796
00:28:57,935 --> 00:28:59,726
-Ah? (laughing)
-Larry: Ah?
797
00:28:59,810 --> 00:29:01,518
I get it.
(laughs)
798
00:29:06,476 --> 00:29:07,976
Larry:
Oh, my God.
799
00:29:10,518 --> 00:29:11,893
Excuse me, I'm so sorry.
800
00:29:11,976 --> 00:29:13,518
I got seven minutes
to catch the plane.
801
00:29:13,601 --> 00:29:15,309
It sounds like a lie,
but it's not.
802
00:29:15,393 --> 00:29:16,643
I'm not a cutter by nature.
803
00:29:16,726 --> 00:29:18,935
Um, my, my girlfriend
got in a skiing accident.
804
00:29:19,017 --> 00:29:20,685
You know,
she's my ex-wife's sister.
805
00:29:20,768 --> 00:29:22,601
We don't have to get
into that, but,
806
00:29:22,685 --> 00:29:24,184
nevertheless,
thank you so much.
807
00:29:24,267 --> 00:29:26,309
-I really appreciate it.
-Next.
808
00:29:26,393 --> 00:29:27,685
Are you together?
809
00:29:29,726 --> 00:29:30,976
No.
810
00:29:31,518 --> 00:29:32,893
Man:
No.
811
00:29:33,976 --> 00:29:35,518
Why would you think
we were together?
812
00:29:35,601 --> 00:29:36,810
No reason.
813
00:29:36,893 --> 00:29:38,893
-No, no reason at all?
-No reason?
814
00:29:38,976 --> 00:29:40,476
I just assumed
you were a couple--
815
00:29:40,559 --> 00:29:41,935
-Woman: You assumed?
-Man: You assumed--
816
00:29:42,017 --> 00:29:43,893
-Oh, really?
-You assumed
we're a couple. We--
817
00:29:43,976 --> 00:29:45,601
I mean, I've never--
I mean, nice to meet you.
818
00:29:45,685 --> 00:29:48,101
-Nice to meet you, too.
-Yeah, see, look,
we just met.
819
00:29:48,184 --> 00:29:49,559
Honest mistake.
820
00:29:49,643 --> 00:29:51,643
But why did you
make the mistake?
821
00:29:51,726 --> 00:29:55,434
-That's what I'm wondering.
-Any two people standing
together could be a couple.
822
00:29:55,518 --> 00:29:57,017
Two men, two women.
823
00:29:57,101 --> 00:29:59,309
If I saw a man
wearing a yarmulke,
824
00:29:59,393 --> 00:30:01,518
standing next to a woman
wearing a kerchief
825
00:30:01,601 --> 00:30:03,351
and carrying a mahjong set,
826
00:30:03,434 --> 00:30:04,726
I would think
they were a couple.
827
00:30:04,810 --> 00:30:07,059
-What?
-It's just
a natural assumption.
828
00:30:07,142 --> 00:30:08,976
Anyway, I'd love to continue
our discussion.
829
00:30:09,059 --> 00:30:11,101
It's been very interesting.
I have to catch a flight
to Denver.
830
00:30:11,184 --> 00:30:13,976
-Eh, there's a lot of
black people in Denver.
-Yeah. Tell 'em we said hi.
831
00:30:14,059 --> 00:30:15,434
Hello, sir. Boarding pass?
832
00:30:15,518 --> 00:30:17,142
(beeps)
833
00:30:17,226 --> 00:30:19,601
You've been randomly selected
for a security search, sir.
834
00:30:19,685 --> 00:30:22,309
What? What? Secure--
What are you talking about?
835
00:30:22,393 --> 00:30:24,476
-Can someone get my spot?
Thank you.
-Larry: Oh, please.
836
00:30:24,559 --> 00:30:27,017
Are you kidding me?
Oh, they couldn't be
a couple.
837
00:30:27,101 --> 00:30:28,101
Oh, it's crazy.
838
00:30:28,184 --> 00:30:29,351
It has nothing to do
with that, sir.
839
00:30:29,434 --> 00:30:31,601
Oh, it has nothing to do
with that?
840
00:30:31,685 --> 00:30:33,643
-No.
-Come on, I'm gonna miss
my flight to Denver.
841
00:30:33,726 --> 00:30:35,810
-Enjoy that search. Yeah.
-Enjoy it.
842
00:30:35,893 --> 00:30:37,059
Honestly,
if you're looking--
843
00:30:37,142 --> 00:30:38,518
I wouldn't look in
the food and wine section.
844
00:30:38,601 --> 00:30:40,685
I would look...
Los Angeles magazine.
845
00:30:40,768 --> 00:30:41,685
Right down there.
846
00:30:41,768 --> 00:30:43,142
You don't find what you need,
847
00:30:43,226 --> 00:30:44,976
-look online.
Everything's online.
-Thanks.
848
00:30:45,059 --> 00:30:46,768
Excuse me, ma'am.
No browsing.
849
00:30:46,851 --> 00:30:49,017
No, I'm just looking
for an article that
Jay Inslee--
850
00:30:49,101 --> 00:30:50,226
Both:
Oh.
851
00:30:50,309 --> 00:30:52,017
-Oh, hi.
-Cheryl.
852
00:30:52,101 --> 00:30:53,351
-Jon.
-That's me.
853
00:30:53,434 --> 00:30:54,476
-Hamm. Hi.
-Yes.
854
00:30:54,559 --> 00:30:55,643
What are you doing here?
855
00:30:55,726 --> 00:30:57,267
I'm just watching
the newsstand for Larry.
856
00:30:57,351 --> 00:30:59,476
He had to--
He had to jump out
and run to the airport.
857
00:30:59,559 --> 00:31:02,726
I'm sorry.
Does Larry own
a newsstand now?
858
00:31:02,810 --> 00:31:04,351
Great question.
859
00:31:04,434 --> 00:31:06,267
-I don't have an answer.
-Okay.
860
00:31:06,351 --> 00:31:09,226
-So you are Larry's
ex-wife. Wow.
-Yeah. I know.
861
00:31:09,309 --> 00:31:11,976
-I find that fascinating.
-Do you?
862
00:31:12,059 --> 00:31:14,559
Oh, my gosh.
Spending the last few days
with him?
863
00:31:14,643 --> 00:31:17,393
-I gotta know everything.
-It's a lot.
864
00:31:17,476 --> 00:31:19,726
Well, do you wanna
just go get some coffee?
865
00:31:19,810 --> 00:31:21,893
Sit down and talk?
866
00:31:21,976 --> 00:31:24,184
-Now?
-Well, yeah. Why not?
867
00:31:24,267 --> 00:31:26,142
-Okay. Uh...
-Let's go.
868
00:31:27,059 --> 00:31:28,893
I mean, do you really
wanna hear...
869
00:31:28,976 --> 00:31:31,059
Are you kidding me?
I wanna hear everything.
870
00:31:31,142 --> 00:31:33,393
Cheryl:
You might be bored.
Ah, 17 years...
871
00:31:33,476 --> 00:31:34,976
Jon:
Wow.
872
00:31:43,476 --> 00:31:45,184
Do you recognize
that signature?
873
00:31:45,267 --> 00:31:46,685
Leon:
He killed the motherfucker
'cause the waffles
874
00:31:46,768 --> 00:31:47,935
had expired and shit.
875
00:31:48,017 --> 00:31:50,643
Gonna sit in that room
and get interrogated--
876
00:31:50,726 --> 00:31:52,768
Hey. Okay? You happy?
You happy?
877
00:31:52,851 --> 00:31:54,559
-I hope you're happy.
-What the fuck, man?
878
00:31:54,643 --> 00:31:56,476
-I missed my flight to Denver.
-Jeff: Sorry.
879
00:31:56,559 --> 00:31:58,518
Larry:
Oh, because you wouldn't
get out of your sweat pants.
880
00:31:58,601 --> 00:32:00,351
Suppose there was an emergency?
Then what?
881
00:32:00,434 --> 00:32:01,518
You take the sweat pants off?
882
00:32:01,601 --> 00:32:02,893
Well, what kind of
an emergency?
883
00:32:02,976 --> 00:32:05,393
Suppose, uh, your friend
was in a car accident.
884
00:32:05,476 --> 00:32:08,267
-Which friend?
-Me. I got hit by a car.
885
00:32:08,351 --> 00:32:09,768
How did you get hit by a car?
886
00:32:09,851 --> 00:32:11,351
I, I got a piece of pizza, and,
887
00:32:11,434 --> 00:32:12,851
and I was crossing the street,
888
00:32:12,935 --> 00:32:14,267
and the, the cheese fell off,
889
00:32:14,351 --> 00:32:15,768
and I bent down
to pick up the cheese,
890
00:32:15,851 --> 00:32:17,142
and I got hit by a car.
891
00:32:17,226 --> 00:32:19,393
Who the hell picks up cheese
in the middle of the street?
892
00:32:19,476 --> 00:32:21,059
I don't want to litter
so I picked up the cheese
893
00:32:21,142 --> 00:32:22,601
and I put it
in the garbage can.
894
00:32:22,685 --> 00:32:24,935
No. You were gonna
pick up the cheese,
895
00:32:25,017 --> 00:32:26,518
and put it on your pizza
and eat it.
896
00:32:26,601 --> 00:32:28,643
Bullshit. I was not.
I was gonna throw it
in the garbage.
897
00:32:28,726 --> 00:32:29,935
-You don't know.
-I know.
898
00:32:30,017 --> 00:32:31,226
-What do you know?
No, you don't!
-I know.
899
00:32:31,309 --> 00:32:32,935
And you, fuckstick,
don't ever ask me
900
00:32:33,017 --> 00:32:35,101
to man any post for you again,
'cause I'm not doin' it!
901
00:32:35,184 --> 00:32:37,309
Just consider me
in sweatpants all the time.
902
00:32:37,393 --> 00:32:39,726
Fuck that job.
I quit that shit already.
903
00:32:39,810 --> 00:32:42,810
-Wow. That was fast.
-Fuck, yeah. I'm in and out.
904
00:32:42,893 --> 00:32:44,726
All right, I gotta go
text Becky now
905
00:32:44,810 --> 00:32:46,518
and tell her I missed my flight
'cause of you two assholes,
906
00:32:46,601 --> 00:32:47,976
and tell her I'll be on
the first flight out to Denver
907
00:32:48,059 --> 00:32:49,518
tomorrow morning.
Actually, second flight.
908
00:32:49,601 --> 00:32:51,017
Why second flight?
909
00:32:51,101 --> 00:32:52,643
First class.
910
00:32:52,726 --> 00:32:54,226
Yeah.
911
00:32:54,851 --> 00:32:57,810
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
912
00:32:57,893 --> 00:33:00,142
Oh, my God. What?
913
00:33:00,226 --> 00:33:02,059
Oh, my-- Larry!
914
00:33:02,142 --> 00:33:03,559
Larry!
915
00:33:04,976 --> 00:33:06,643
Larry!
916
00:33:06,726 --> 00:33:08,351
Cheryl:
Oh, look.
917
00:33:08,434 --> 00:33:09,476
Latte Larry's.
918
00:33:09,559 --> 00:33:10,976
-Yeah. Yeah.
-Spite store.
919
00:33:11,059 --> 00:33:12,101
-I heard about this.
-Yeah.
920
00:33:12,184 --> 00:33:13,768
-This must be, uh...
-Mocha Joe's.
921
00:33:13,851 --> 00:33:14,810
There we go.
922
00:33:14,893 --> 00:33:15,976
Okay, don't tell Larry
we did this.
923
00:33:16,059 --> 00:33:17,935
You got it.
924
00:33:18,017 --> 00:33:21,059
I've never been
in this shop. I just--
925
00:33:21,142 --> 00:33:23,685
It's kind of a wobbly table,
you know?
926
00:33:23,768 --> 00:33:25,518
It's like
my least favorite thing.
927
00:33:25,601 --> 00:33:26,851
-It's all right.
-Mocha Joe:
Here we go.
928
00:33:26,935 --> 00:33:28,726
-Two cups of coffee.
-Hey. Thank you very much.
929
00:33:28,810 --> 00:33:31,017
Thank you so much
for coming in, Mr. Hamm.
How's that scone?
930
00:33:31,101 --> 00:33:32,726
Uh, not so much a scone.
931
00:33:33,184 --> 00:33:35,726
-No, it's a scone.
-Nah, this is like a muffin.
932
00:33:35,810 --> 00:33:38,184
I mean, I'm just saying,
like, there's kind of a specific
933
00:33:38,267 --> 00:33:40,309
quality that a scone has
that's sort of dry and crumbly.
934
00:33:40,393 --> 00:33:42,810
This is sweet.
It's a little more like
a muffin than a scone.
935
00:33:42,893 --> 00:33:44,768
What you are describing
is a stale scone.
936
00:33:44,851 --> 00:33:47,685
-That's a, that's fresh one.
-I'm not sure you know
what a...
937
00:33:47,768 --> 00:33:49,017
definition of a scone is.
938
00:33:49,101 --> 00:33:51,059
It looks good.
I think, um...
939
00:33:51,142 --> 00:33:52,851
-I'm just saying,
I'm saying it's a muffin.
-Let's not worry about it.
940
00:33:52,935 --> 00:33:54,101
You want me to take it away?
941
00:33:54,184 --> 00:33:55,393
No, I'm gonna keep the muffin.
942
00:33:55,476 --> 00:33:56,851
-Thank you very much.
-You enjoy the scone.
943
00:33:56,935 --> 00:33:58,518
-Yeah, I'll enjoy the muffin.
-Cheryl: I'm good.
944
00:33:58,601 --> 00:34:00,643
-Thank you, that's great.
Thank you.
-Okay. Awesome.
945
00:34:00,726 --> 00:34:02,101
It doesn't matter.
946
00:34:02,184 --> 00:34:03,976
-Yeah. I'm just having
a good time.
-Hmm? Doesn't it?
947
00:34:05,101 --> 00:34:06,643
Um...
948
00:34:06,726 --> 00:34:08,810
Oh! So when
I first met Mocha Joe--
949
00:34:08,893 --> 00:34:11,059
Ugh. Oh, hold on.
950
00:34:11,142 --> 00:34:12,851
-No. No. No.
-What's wrong?
951
00:34:12,935 --> 00:34:13,893
Mocha Joe!
952
00:34:13,976 --> 00:34:16,142
-Mocha Joe!
-Mocha Joe: Yeah.
953
00:34:17,768 --> 00:34:20,226
This coffee's...
it's not hot.
954
00:34:20,309 --> 00:34:22,726
-It's plenty hot.
-No, it's, it's plenty not.
955
00:34:22,810 --> 00:34:25,601
-It's, it's, it is,
it is at best luke.
-It's hot.
956
00:34:25,685 --> 00:34:27,476
-Oh, God.
-Jon: I don't know
what to tell you.
957
00:34:27,559 --> 00:34:29,059
This is not, this is
not a hot cup of coffee.
958
00:34:29,142 --> 00:34:30,685
-It's a hot cup of coffee.
-Coffee should be served hot.
959
00:34:30,768 --> 00:34:31,726
-This is not hot.
-It's hot.
960
00:34:31,810 --> 00:34:33,226
I beg to differ.
This is not hot.
961
00:34:33,309 --> 00:34:34,851
And I tell you what.
Here's how I'll prove it
to you.
962
00:34:34,935 --> 00:34:36,059
-No, no, no, I don't know--
-Would I be able to do this?
963
00:34:36,142 --> 00:34:37,726
Would I be able to do this
964
00:34:37,810 --> 00:34:39,518
if this was a hot cup
of coffee?
965
00:34:40,142 --> 00:34:42,017
-Oh. Oh.
-Okay.
966
00:34:42,810 --> 00:34:44,893
-Doesn't even hurt.
Doesn't even hurt.
-I can't do this.
967
00:34:44,976 --> 00:34:46,184
-This coffee's not hot.
-Jon Hamm...
968
00:34:46,267 --> 00:34:47,976
-...you have
turned into Larry.
-What--
969
00:34:48,059 --> 00:34:50,059
-I'm done. I can't do this.
-Cheryl--
970
00:34:50,142 --> 00:34:51,059
Cheryl:
God.
971
00:34:51,142 --> 00:34:52,685
-Cheryl!
-No.
972
00:34:52,768 --> 00:34:54,518
-Come on.
-Nope.
973
00:34:55,476 --> 00:34:57,893
See, now look.
The table. Look at this.
All over the place.
974
00:34:57,976 --> 00:34:59,434
-All right,
you know what, Jon Hamm?
-All over the place.
975
00:34:59,518 --> 00:35:00,976
-Unbelievable.
-Get out.
976
00:35:01,351 --> 00:35:02,685
Happy to.
977
00:35:04,726 --> 00:35:06,559
And you're banned, Jon Hamm!
978
00:35:06,643 --> 00:35:08,643
Jon:
I don't care!
979
00:35:14,685 --> 00:35:15,935
Hey!
980
00:35:16,017 --> 00:35:18,101
I'm here!
981
00:35:18,184 --> 00:35:20,893
Look. Look! Flowers, balloons.
982
00:35:20,976 --> 00:35:23,643
Larry David.
What could be better?
983
00:35:23,726 --> 00:35:26,351
-Take a smell of that.
Yeah? Pretty good.
-Yep. Smells like flowers.
984
00:35:26,434 --> 00:35:28,393
-Right? Where do
you want 'em? Here?
-Yeah.
985
00:35:28,476 --> 00:35:31,017
Ugh.
I came as soon as I could.
986
00:35:31,101 --> 00:35:32,309
Did you?
987
00:35:32,393 --> 00:35:33,476
Yes, I did.
988
00:35:33,559 --> 00:35:36,226
'Cause it's, uh, been
a little over 24 hours
989
00:35:36,309 --> 00:35:37,976
since I called you
and you were gonna
990
00:35:38,059 --> 00:35:40,768
hop on the next flight.
So I just, I've been
a little confused.
991
00:35:40,851 --> 00:35:43,184
Big issue with the TSA
last night.
992
00:35:43,267 --> 00:35:45,976
-Ugh. I'm not even gonna
bore you with it.
-Why would book a night flight?
993
00:35:46,059 --> 00:35:48,142
I called you at 10:00 o'clock
yesterday morning.
994
00:35:48,226 --> 00:35:50,976
Um, you know, the--
I couldn't get a seat.
There were no seats.
995
00:35:51,059 --> 00:35:53,851
There were no seats
on any of the planes?
996
00:35:53,935 --> 00:35:56,267
There were...
997
00:35:56,351 --> 00:35:57,976
no seats...
998
00:35:58,059 --> 00:35:59,226
for me?
999
00:35:59,309 --> 00:36:03,059
Are you talking about
first class seats?
1000
00:36:03,142 --> 00:36:06,059
Uh...
1001
00:36:08,059 --> 00:36:09,643
-Yeah. Yeah.
-Becky: Yeah?
1002
00:36:09,726 --> 00:36:11,017
I broke my leg!
1003
00:36:11,101 --> 00:36:12,476
-I called you scared.
-Yeah.
1004
00:36:12,559 --> 00:36:13,643
-And hurt.
-Yeah. I know.
1005
00:36:13,726 --> 00:36:16,184
I'm not worth two hours
in a coach seat?
1006
00:36:16,267 --> 00:36:18,518
-You know. All right,
I'm gonna be...
-What?
1007
00:36:18,601 --> 00:36:20,768
-I'll just be straight
with you, okay?
-Yeah. That'd be great.
1008
00:36:20,851 --> 00:36:23,059
-I've been honest
with you up until now.
-Yes.
1009
00:36:23,142 --> 00:36:25,601
-So I'm gonna be honest
with you again.
-Go for it.
1010
00:36:27,142 --> 00:36:29,434
I have a bleeding rectum.
1011
00:36:30,726 --> 00:36:32,267
They're okay
with you bleeding
1012
00:36:32,351 --> 00:36:34,101
out of your rectum
in first class?
1013
00:36:34,184 --> 00:36:37,351
It's a more comfortable
place to bleed.
1014
00:36:37,434 --> 00:36:39,810
I think it's probably best
that you go.
1015
00:36:39,893 --> 00:36:41,768
-What?
-Yeah. Leave the flowers,
1016
00:36:41,851 --> 00:36:44,101
but take the ugly balloon,
and just go.
1017
00:36:45,059 --> 00:36:46,267
Okay.
1018
00:36:48,393 --> 00:36:51,434
-Hey. You gonna eat that Jell-O?
-I'm not gonna eat the Jell-O.
1019
00:36:52,351 --> 00:36:53,601
Hmm.
1020
00:36:54,810 --> 00:36:57,267
(theme music playing)
1021
00:37:13,768 --> 00:37:15,851
♪ ♪
1022
00:37:45,476 --> 00:37:47,559
♪ ♪
1023
00:38:08,768 --> 00:38:11,059
Ah! Mr. Takahashi!
How you hitting 'em, Mr. T?
1024
00:38:11,309 --> 00:38:13,184
-Not your concern.
-Ah.
1025
00:38:13,559 --> 00:38:15,643
♪ ("EL DESEO"
BY JANET SHERBOURNE PLAYS) ♪
1026
00:38:15,726 --> 00:38:18,184
LARRY DAVID: The color of a car
doesn't really matter to me,
1027
00:38:18,267 --> 00:38:21,059
because I don't really see it
when I'm inside the car.
1028
00:38:21,142 --> 00:38:22,476
It's like being inside
your face.
1029
00:38:22,559 --> 00:38:23,518
I don't know what my face
looks like.
1030
00:38:23,726 --> 00:38:25,643
-Who forgets their face?
-I'm in a capsule.
1031
00:38:25,726 --> 00:38:27,559
Everything's coming
from inside the capsule.
1032
00:38:27,851 --> 00:38:29,976
I haven't seen you take
one piece of red licorice yet.
1033
00:38:30,059 --> 00:38:30,893
Only black for you?
1034
00:38:31,393 --> 00:38:33,810
Something wrong with a person
supporting black and shit?
1035
00:38:33,893 --> 00:38:36,184
Black licorice,
black jellybeans...
1036
00:38:36,267 --> 00:38:38,309
-You feel me?
-No, I feel you.
1037
00:38:38,393 --> 00:38:40,559
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
78959
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