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(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
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_ _
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Hey. Have you ever
gotten a mani-pedi?
4
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Uh, I've gotten a manicure.
5
00:00:22,651 --> 00:00:25,771
- Really?
- Uh, but I've never got a pedicure.
6
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The toes rank second on the body
7
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only to the testicles in terms
of how repulsive they are.
8
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- Hey. You know Hobe Turner?
- He was a writer on Seinfeld.
9
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- Yeah. Of course. Yeah.
- Okay. Doing a movie
10
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starring Jon Hamm, and Jon Hamm
11
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is playing a Larry David-type writer.
12
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They're going against type,
and he wants to, uh,
13
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follow you around,
spend a day with you.
14
00:00:48,731 --> 00:00:49,941
Yeah, let's do it.
15
00:00:50,021 --> 00:00:51,821
I'm gonna try and make
it happen for tomorrow.
16
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- That'll be fun.
- Yeah, it will be fun.
17
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SUSIE: We're back!
18
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All right, listen.
19
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We are not getting along at all.
20
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Susie and I are at odds.
21
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Oh, my God. I, I don't even know...
22
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- SUSIE: Saw your car!
- Hi!
23
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- Hi, ladies. Hi.
- Oh.
24
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- Well, well, well.
- Hi.
25
00:01:06,271 --> 00:01:07,377
- Hey, look who's here?
- Hey.
26
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,771
- I'm glad you're here.
- Are you?
27
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I never thought I'd hear those
words come out of your mouth.
28
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Okay. So, Becky, my sister...
29
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- LARRY: Uh-huh.
- ...is selling that house we bought her.
30
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- Really?
- And what's really interesting is,
31
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it's appreciated,
32
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because that section
of town is, like...
33
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Fantastic! Make a little dough!
34
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Becky's gonna make some money.
35
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What do you mean
she'll make some money?
36
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I bought the house.
37
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- We bought the house.
- LARRY: Okay, yeah, okay.
38
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- And we gave it...
- LARRY: We bought the house.
39
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- ...as a gift.
- Okay.
40
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A gift... It wasn't a gift
41
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for her to sell and make money.
42
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It was a gift for her to live in.
43
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- You gave it to her. It was a gift.
- CHERYL: Yeah. You...
44
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I didn't give her the house
so she could sell it.
45
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What if she sold it in three days?
46
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Would she be allowed
to keep the money?
47
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- She's flipping houses now?
- She's been there for 15 years.
48
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That's not exactly a flip.
49
00:01:49,771 --> 00:01:52,651
So she's gonna sell it and
make this tremendous profit?
50
00:01:52,731 --> 00:01:55,151
- And get everything?
- That's, that's crazy talk.
51
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- LARRY: That's insane.
- Why are you siding with him?
52
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- What do you mean, why am I siding with him?
- No!
53
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JEFF: That's the right thing!
54
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Listen, I don't wanna be
55
00:02:01,651 --> 00:02:02,571
in the middle of this.
56
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I don't really talk to Becky.
57
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Why?
58
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We've grown apart through the years.
59
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She calls me Queen Elizabeth.
60
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She calls herself
Princess Margaret...
61
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- Queen Elizabeth?
- Yeah.
62
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Oh, yeah. 'Cause you got everything.
63
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- That's what she says.
- And she's jealous.
64
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So if you're comfortable...
65
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- going to her and asking her for money...
- Oh, you better believe it.
66
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Oh, you better believe it.
I feel comfortable.
67
00:02:23,941 --> 00:02:25,917
All right, well, you do it,
because Cheryl doesn't feel comfortable.
68
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- Is that a character?
- LARRY: Yeah. Kramer.
69
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- JEFF: Oh.
- Oh, I feel comfortable.
70
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- CHERYL: Okay.
- Oh, you better believe it.
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This Hobe Turner movie is, like,
one of the... is a big thing for me.
72
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- Yeah.
- And I'm excited to do it. And, you know,
73
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the guy is kind of based on you.
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So the best way I can figure
it is to just hang out.
75
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- You know. I ask...
- It's not gonna be easy, Jon.
76
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I'm a very complex man.
77
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- Very complicated.
- (LAUGHS) I get it.
78
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But I just wanna say
I'd really appreciate it.
79
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- You'd appreciate it.
- Yes, I would.
80
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Really. This... this word
"appreciate," it's very, very odd.
81
00:02:57,321 --> 00:02:59,497
People seem to think that if
they use the word "appreciate,"
82
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all of a sudden,
the seas part for them.
83
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"Oh, hey, I'm so sorry that I...
84
00:03:04,361 --> 00:03:06,021
"I robbed your house
and burned it down.
85
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I'd really appreciate it if
you wouldn't tell the cops."
86
00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:09,246
You know?
87
00:03:09,271 --> 00:03:12,045
(LAUGHING): This is exactly
what I'm talking about.
88
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- This is perfect.
- All right. Let's order the main course.
89
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Yes, we should.
90
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- There's so many things on this.
- I can't look at these menus.
91
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There's so much. Oh, you know what?
92
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We should just ask them. They
got... They know what they're doing.
93
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Ho-bo-bo. Ho-ho-ho-ho.
94
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Why are you...
Why are you doing this?
95
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Excuse me. What, uh...
What'd you guys get?
96
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Why do you want to know?
97
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Because we're about to order.
98
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But, uh, you have a menu.
99
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Yeah, but I figured, you know,
100
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you're the experts, why not copy you.
101
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Why would you think
we're the experts?
102
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Chinese.
103
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- Ai-yah!
- That doesn't make us an expert on food.
104
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Yeah. Yeah, I think it does.
105
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I mean, if there was
a table of fat people,
106
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and a table of skinny people,
107
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I'd ask the fat people
what they were getting.
108
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'Cause they're a little more expert
at eating than the skinny people.
109
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Anyway...
110
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- Return to your meal.
- ALL: Thank you.
111
00:04:04,441 --> 00:04:07,231
- What?
- This is gold.
112
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- Schmo-hawk.
- Yeah, schmo-hawk.
113
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- I thought I heard that.
- Yeah.
114
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But I wasn't sure I heard it right.
115
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- S-C-H?
- S-C-H.
116
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You know, you got the "schmo."
117
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- (LAUGHING)
- It's a schmo. Yeah.
118
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It's the browsing, right?
You can't stand it.
119
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- You hate it.
- No browsing.
120
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- No browsing. Yeah.
- No browsing.
121
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- You own this stand?
- No. I work for the owner.
122
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What do you do if you have
to go to the bathroom?
123
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I don't go.
124
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You don't go.
125
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The whole shift, you don't go?
126
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I can't go. I have to watch.
127
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All right. You know what?
128
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Do you have to go
to the bathroom now?
129
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- Go. I'll watch it.
- You'll watch it?
130
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- I'll watch the stand. Go.
- Okay. Put this on.
131
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- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- Thank you. Thank you so...
132
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Yeah. You're, you're, you're welcome.
133
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I really have to go.
134
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- No browsing, okay?
- No browsing.
135
00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:54,997
- You browse, you buy.
- You browse, you buy.
136
00:04:55,021 --> 00:04:57,521
- Thank you.
- Take your time. Take your time.
137
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Get your papers here. Papers!
138
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Magazines. Newspapers!
139
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Sir.
140
00:05:04,361 --> 00:05:05,731
- Oh.
- Sir.
141
00:05:05,821 --> 00:05:08,071
- Sorry, no browsing.
- I'm not browsing.
142
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The rule here is,
you buy, then browse.
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CUSTOMER: I browse to buy.
144
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I know, but that's... I'm sorry.
145
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That's, that's just not gonna work.
146
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What the fuck?
147
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- Hey!
- Hey.
148
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Yeah, sorry. Yeah.
149
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L.D. What the... What are you, nuts?
150
00:05:24,861 --> 00:05:26,521
- No.
- Are you having a breakdown?
151
00:05:26,611 --> 00:05:28,167
- RICHARD: Hey, Jon.
- Hey, how are you?
152
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- Jon Hamm.
- Yeah, it's nice to meet you. Big fan.
153
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What is... What the f...
What, are you guys...
154
00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:33,247
- ...escaped from a mental institution?
- No.
155
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The guy had to go to the
bathroom, so I took over.
156
00:05:34,861 --> 00:05:36,707
- So get this...
- What, what are you guys doing?
157
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Jon's starring in a movie.
158
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- Well, what else is new?
- And the character...
159
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The character's based on me.
160
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So he's kind of shadowing me.
161
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What's the name of the movie?
The Biggest Asshole...
162
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- ...That Ever Roamed the Earth?
- LARRY: Oh, I like that.
163
00:05:47,731 --> 00:05:49,361
- (LAUGHING)
- Yeah, that's, that's good.
164
00:05:49,441 --> 00:05:51,271
- I'll tell Hobe.
- That's good.
165
00:05:51,361 --> 00:05:54,151
You're a great actor,
but this could be the end.
166
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So what are you doing?
167
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You know Michelle, the CEO...
168
00:05:57,271 --> 00:05:58,957
- ...I'm dating?
- Yeah, I know she's a CEO.
169
00:05:58,981 --> 00:06:01,271
Well, I gotta go furniture
shopping with her today.
170
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,071
Furniture shopping?
171
00:06:03,151 --> 00:06:04,377
Yeah, but I gotta really get going.
172
00:06:04,401 --> 00:06:06,271
- LARRY: Okay.
- Why don't we have a meal?
173
00:06:06,361 --> 00:06:07,667
We haven't had dinner in a while.
174
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Yeah, let's do it. Let's have dinner.
175
00:06:09,191 --> 00:06:11,571
- Can, uh, Michelle come?
- No.
176
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Listen, I... I really
want her to come. I...
177
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I really would appreciate it.
178
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See? See what I'm saying
with the "appreciate"?
179
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I'm finally starting to get it.
I see what you're saying. Yes.
180
00:06:19,186 --> 00:06:20,072
Huh? You see it?
181
00:06:20,073 --> 00:06:21,309
RICHARD: What are you talking about?
182
00:06:21,310 --> 00:06:23,821
I don't succumb to "appreciate."
183
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I'm not gonna bring her.
For you, okay?
184
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- LARRY: Yeah.
- To honor our friendship.
185
00:06:27,731 --> 00:06:29,931
- But she's gonna give me shit for it.
- LARRY: So what?
186
00:06:29,981 --> 00:06:31,691
You're gonna pay
down the line for this.
187
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You text me where you want to
meet, asshole.
188
00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:34,768
Okay.
189
00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:39,071
Thank you. Thank you so much.
190
00:06:39,151 --> 00:06:40,321
- Oh, sure.
- That was quick.
191
00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:42,821
- I feel so much better.
- I'm sure you do.
192
00:06:42,901 --> 00:06:44,481
- Get this off me.
- Okay.
193
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,901
- What do I owe you?
- You owe me nothing.
194
00:06:46,981 --> 00:06:49,771
- Nothing. Oh, boy.
- LARRY: No. I insist.
195
00:06:49,861 --> 00:06:52,691
- Yeah.
- Thank you. That piss was worth $10, easy.
196
00:06:52,771 --> 00:06:55,611
Well, see ya, man.
I mean, look what you did.
197
00:06:55,691 --> 00:06:57,441
Yeah.
198
00:06:57,521 --> 00:06:59,441
A $10 piss.
199
00:07:01,271 --> 00:07:04,691
- Mm. Mm.
- And he offered me $10 to take a piss.
200
00:07:04,771 --> 00:07:07,111
- Wow.
- And I'm thinking...
201
00:07:07,191 --> 00:07:09,271
what a great idea for a business.
202
00:07:09,361 --> 00:07:11,901
You relieve people who have jobs
203
00:07:11,981 --> 00:07:13,861
where they can't use a bathroom.
204
00:07:13,941 --> 00:07:16,481
Toll booth collectors,
shoe shine stands,
205
00:07:16,571 --> 00:07:18,071
parking garage attendants.
206
00:07:18,151 --> 00:07:20,651
They contact you on your
phone, it's an app,
207
00:07:20,731 --> 00:07:23,481
and then you go down
and man the store,
208
00:07:23,571 --> 00:07:24,731
when they go to the bathroom.
209
00:07:24,821 --> 00:07:26,321
Do you know how many times I've peed
210
00:07:26,401 --> 00:07:27,731
in a fuckin' Gatorade bottle
211
00:07:27,821 --> 00:07:29,377
when I couldn't find
a fuckin' bathroom?
212
00:07:29,401 --> 00:07:30,901
Plenty of fuckin' times.
213
00:07:30,981 --> 00:07:32,021
Mm-hmm.
214
00:07:32,111 --> 00:07:33,691
And know how many times I forgot
215
00:07:33,771 --> 00:07:35,151
I peed in that Gatorade bottle
216
00:07:35,231 --> 00:07:37,441
and drank that shit? Once.
217
00:07:37,981 --> 00:07:39,441
That's a fuckin' good idea.
218
00:07:39,521 --> 00:07:40,721
Thanks for sharing that story.
219
00:07:40,771 --> 00:07:42,111
This could be the pee Amazon.
220
00:07:42,191 --> 00:07:44,271
- You know? This, this is big.
- This could be big.
221
00:07:44,361 --> 00:07:45,547
- This could be very big.
- Every fuckin' where.
222
00:07:45,571 --> 00:07:46,931
- Yeah.
- Very big. We need a name.
223
00:07:46,981 --> 00:07:48,731
- Poober.
- Poober!
224
00:07:48,821 --> 00:07:50,901
- Meh. It's too close to Uber.
- Meh.
225
00:07:50,981 --> 00:07:52,571
I got something.
226
00:07:52,651 --> 00:07:53,941
"Gotta Go."
227
00:07:54,021 --> 00:07:56,071
- Like that. That's catchy as hell.
- You like that?
228
00:07:56,151 --> 00:07:59,271
♪ ♪
229
00:08:06,191 --> 00:08:07,651
(POLICE SIREN IN DISTANCE)
230
00:08:08,481 --> 00:08:10,651
(DOORBELL RINGS)
231
00:08:12,441 --> 00:08:15,021
- Oh. Hey!
- Hey, Becky.
232
00:08:15,111 --> 00:08:17,481
Can I talk to you for a minute?
233
00:08:18,321 --> 00:08:20,321
Yeah. Okay. Come on.
234
00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:22,651
LARRY: (SCOFFS) Wow.
235
00:08:22,731 --> 00:08:24,651
What, did you have a party in here?
236
00:08:24,731 --> 00:08:27,151
Nope. Nope. Just me.
237
00:08:27,231 --> 00:08:28,981
Can I make you something to drink?
238
00:08:29,691 --> 00:08:31,191
Uh, no, thanks.
239
00:08:31,271 --> 00:08:32,941
Okay.
240
00:08:33,021 --> 00:08:35,401
You know, you're trying
to sell a house.
241
00:08:35,481 --> 00:08:36,861
- It's... (LAUGHS)
- Oh.
242
00:08:36,941 --> 00:08:38,941
It's gonna be hard to sell a house
like, like this.
243
00:08:38,981 --> 00:08:40,861
I gotta tidy up a bit, I know.
244
00:08:40,941 --> 00:08:43,321
You know, it's all based
on first impressions.
245
00:08:43,401 --> 00:08:45,088
People come over,
they're gonna see this...
246
00:08:45,113 --> 00:08:46,025
Yeah.
247
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,260
...and then no one's gonna buy it.
248
00:08:47,261 --> 00:08:49,021
All right. I'll take care of it, Dad.
249
00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:51,021
- (LAUGHS) Oh. Yeah.
- Hey.
250
00:08:51,111 --> 00:08:53,901
Heard about the whole
Cheryl-Ted blowup in Mexico.
251
00:08:53,981 --> 00:08:55,731
- Oh.
- (LAUGHS) Oh, boy.
252
00:08:55,821 --> 00:08:57,981
- Little bit of ash. Sorry.
- Yeah, that was...
253
00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,111
- That was wild.
- Yeah, that made me happy.
254
00:09:00,191 --> 00:09:01,997
- Oh, you... Really?
- Little Miss Perfect. Yeah.
255
00:09:02,021 --> 00:09:03,861
It made me feel better about myself.
256
00:09:04,521 --> 00:09:06,571
Boy, you two used
to get along so well.
257
00:09:06,651 --> 00:09:08,571
Yeah, well, not anymore.
258
00:09:08,651 --> 00:09:10,901
You sure I can't get you
something to drink?
259
00:09:10,981 --> 00:09:12,901
No. What are you drinking
in the daytime for?
260
00:09:12,981 --> 00:09:15,321
- Who drinks in the daytime?
- People who go to brunch.
261
00:09:15,401 --> 00:09:16,821
Well, we're not at brunch.
262
00:09:16,901 --> 00:09:18,771
Okay. So I am not having a mimosa.
263
00:09:19,321 --> 00:09:20,048
All right.
264
00:09:20,073 --> 00:09:22,255
What, what,
what do you... What do you want?
265
00:09:22,321 --> 00:09:23,941
- What, what's going on?
- Okay. Well,
266
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:25,707
obviously, I heard
you're selling the house.
267
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:27,271
Yeah. (CLEARS THROAT)
268
00:09:27,361 --> 00:09:29,691
You know, the thing is, Becky,
269
00:09:29,771 --> 00:09:32,771
you know, I did buy you
the house, so...
270
00:09:32,861 --> 00:09:34,821
- I know.
- It's kind of my house.
271
00:09:34,901 --> 00:09:37,691
- No. No, you...
- I paid for the house.
272
00:09:37,771 --> 00:09:40,058
And I thought it was only
fair and reasonable...
273
00:09:40,083 --> 00:09:40,845
Okay.
274
00:09:40,901 --> 00:09:43,941
I'm gonna let you keep the profits
275
00:09:44,021 --> 00:09:45,361
to, to the house.
276
00:09:45,441 --> 00:09:48,321
But of course,
I'll get my investment back.
277
00:09:48,401 --> 00:09:51,401
No, no, no. No.
278
00:09:51,771 --> 00:09:55,571
- Hey. Say I gave you $700,000...
- It's my house.
279
00:09:56,861 --> 00:09:59,361
Please don't do this to me, okay?
280
00:09:59,441 --> 00:10:01,361
Please don't do this.
This is my house.
281
00:10:01,441 --> 00:10:02,861
It's all I have left.
282
00:10:02,941 --> 00:10:06,731
(SOBBING): Oh, my God.
Please don't do this to me.
283
00:10:06,821 --> 00:10:08,941
I, I lost my job.
284
00:10:09,021 --> 00:10:10,571
And my boyfriend broke up with me.
285
00:10:10,771 --> 00:10:12,571
- Geez. Don't cry...
- He was from Poland,
286
00:10:12,651 --> 00:10:15,821
and it turns out
all he wanted was a visa.
287
00:10:15,901 --> 00:10:18,861
- (SOBBING)
- Okay, you...
288
00:10:18,941 --> 00:10:21,901
Forget, forget it.
You, you, you can keep the house.
289
00:10:21,981 --> 00:10:24,021
You can keep all the money,
keep, keep the profits.
290
00:10:24,111 --> 00:10:25,981
- Keep, keep it all.
- (BECKY PANTING)
291
00:10:26,071 --> 00:10:29,481
- Is this a joke?
- No. No. No.
292
00:10:29,571 --> 00:10:30,821
- You mean it?
- Keep it all.
293
00:10:30,901 --> 00:10:33,821
- Thank you, Larry.
- Keep it. You can have it.
294
00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:35,981
Yeah. It's okay.
295
00:10:38,731 --> 00:10:40,821
♪
296
00:10:42,861 --> 00:10:44,071
- Really?
- Yeah.
297
00:10:44,151 --> 00:10:45,571
- Wow.
- I know.
298
00:10:45,651 --> 00:10:47,901
I think I always had a secret
little crush on her.
299
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,271
- Me too.
- Yeah.
300
00:10:49,361 --> 00:10:51,191
It was in the daytime.
301
00:10:51,271 --> 00:10:52,941
I love daytime sex.
302
00:10:53,021 --> 00:10:54,521
You're filled with energy.
303
00:10:54,611 --> 00:10:56,644
Yes! I mean, nighttime,
you're so close to going to bed.
304
00:10:56,668 --> 00:10:57,858
Filled! Right!
305
00:10:57,883 --> 00:10:59,297
Why are you doing that
before you go to bed?
306
00:10:59,321 --> 00:11:00,634
The whole thing should
be all flipped around.
307
00:11:00,658 --> 00:11:01,552
I know.
308
00:11:01,553 --> 00:11:02,707
- It should never happen at night.
- The daytime.
309
00:11:02,731 --> 00:11:03,877
- Always during the day.
- Yes.
310
00:11:03,901 --> 00:11:05,361
Ah. It's Jon.
311
00:11:05,441 --> 00:11:07,627
- What's going on?
- Nothing. We're just going out to dinner.
312
00:11:07,651 --> 00:11:10,071
- Is that working out okay?
- Yeah. Yeah.
313
00:11:10,151 --> 00:11:12,111
CHERYL: Where is he?
314
00:11:14,361 --> 00:11:17,321
Did you have sex
with my sister Becky?
315
00:11:17,401 --> 00:11:18,981
Who said that?
316
00:11:19,691 --> 00:11:20,691
Becky!
317
00:11:20,731 --> 00:11:21,901
What did she say?
318
00:11:21,981 --> 00:11:24,151
She said, "Guess who I fucked?"
319
00:11:24,231 --> 00:11:26,941
- Huh...
- Oh, my God.
320
00:11:27,021 --> 00:11:29,821
- He did.
- Oh, my God!
321
00:11:29,901 --> 00:11:31,771
- What, what are you thinking?
- I was there,
322
00:11:31,861 --> 00:11:35,441
and she was, she-she was
upset, she was sobbing,
323
00:11:35,521 --> 00:11:37,441
and I consoled her, and...
324
00:11:37,521 --> 00:11:39,271
And, you know, it just, it happened.
325
00:11:39,361 --> 00:11:41,087
- LARRY: That's why.
- Yeah, what about the money?
326
00:11:41,111 --> 00:11:42,401
I told her, uh,
327
00:11:42,481 --> 00:11:44,337
she didn't have to, uh,
share the money with me.
328
00:11:44,361 --> 00:11:46,611
- Oh, my God.
- That's, that's like prostitution.
329
00:11:46,691 --> 00:11:49,151
- It was consensual sex between two adults!
- Oh, my God.
330
00:11:49,231 --> 00:11:50,960
There's nothing wrong with
that, as far as I know!
331
00:11:50,984 --> 00:11:51,997
SUSIE: She was vulnerable.
332
00:11:52,021 --> 00:11:54,071
We were all in the
living room over there
333
00:11:54,151 --> 00:11:55,611
when you gave a big speech,
334
00:11:55,691 --> 00:11:57,321
and you were gonna march over there
335
00:11:57,401 --> 00:11:59,457
- and get your money back for that house.
- I did march over there,
336
00:11:59,481 --> 00:12:00,861
and then I felt sorry for her.
337
00:12:00,941 --> 00:12:02,377
- Oh, my...
- Yeah, you marched over there,
338
00:12:02,401 --> 00:12:03,691
you got a fuckin' blow job,
339
00:12:03,771 --> 00:12:05,151
and then you gave the house away.
340
00:12:05,231 --> 00:12:07,111
There's a million fuckin'
women in the world.
341
00:12:07,191 --> 00:12:10,151
- You have to have sex with Cheryl's sister?
- What?
342
00:12:10,231 --> 00:12:11,771
- Oh. Hey, Jonny.
- (JON LAUGHS)
343
00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:13,611
Uh, yeah. The door was ajar.
344
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:14,837
The fuck are you doing in my house?
345
00:12:14,861 --> 00:12:16,321
What is Jon Hamm doing in my house?
346
00:12:16,401 --> 00:12:18,457
- He's, he's, um...
- Hold on. Yeah, I should get this down.
347
00:12:18,481 --> 00:12:19,611
He's starring in a movie,
348
00:12:19,691 --> 00:12:21,207
and he's kind of,
you know, shadowing me.
349
00:12:21,231 --> 00:12:22,791
He's bas...
The character's based on me.
350
00:12:22,861 --> 00:12:25,151
So, the character
is a disgusting pervert?
351
00:12:25,231 --> 00:12:26,981
That's good. (LAUGHS)
352
00:12:27,071 --> 00:12:28,981
It's actually not funny, Jon Hamm.
353
00:12:29,231 --> 00:12:31,047
Oh, no, no. I'm not here.
Act like I'm not here.
354
00:12:31,071 --> 00:12:32,877
- I'm just a fly on the wall. Just, uh...
- LARRY: Hey.
355
00:12:32,901 --> 00:12:34,321
- New sneaks?
- Oh, yeah.
356
00:12:34,401 --> 00:12:35,997
- Good, right? How comfortable?
- Love 'em.
357
00:12:36,021 --> 00:12:36,646
Yeah.
358
00:12:36,671 --> 00:12:38,545
CHERYL: Hey, guys?
This is not the time, okay?
359
00:12:38,611 --> 00:12:40,151
It's my house, you're in my house.
360
00:12:40,231 --> 00:12:41,997
- JON: I'm terribly sorry.
- You crossed a line...
361
00:12:42,021 --> 00:12:43,521
- ...this time.
- You crossed a line!
362
00:12:43,611 --> 00:12:45,127
- Oh, my God.
- LARRY: I didn't cross a line.
363
00:12:45,151 --> 00:12:47,191
I went over the line
that you already crossed.
364
00:12:47,271 --> 00:12:48,521
- What?
- LARRY: He's a friend.
365
00:12:48,611 --> 00:12:50,821
Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry. Ted and Larry,
366
00:12:50,901 --> 00:12:53,401
it's just like you and your sister.
It's the same thing.
367
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,861
- It's nowhere close.
- It is not close.
368
00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:58,861
It is close! She slept
with my friend, Ted Danson.
369
00:12:58,941 --> 00:13:00,691
- Okay?
- LARRY: Okay. That's fine.
370
00:13:00,771 --> 00:13:03,247
- But I can't sleep with her sister?
- It feels like the same thing.
371
00:13:03,271 --> 00:13:06,361
- Because Ted is like a sister to Larry.
- LARRY: Yeah!
372
00:13:06,441 --> 00:13:08,361
No. It's a relationship with Ted.
373
00:13:08,441 --> 00:13:10,377
- It's not, I didn't just go have s...
- LARRY: Oh, it's a relationship?
374
00:13:10,401 --> 00:13:12,167
Who's to say that I'm not
gonna have a relationship
375
00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:13,667
- with Becky, what do you mean?
- CHERYL: Oh, my God.
376
00:13:13,691 --> 00:13:16,071
SUSIE: You know how
jealous Becky is of Cheryl.
377
00:13:16,151 --> 00:13:19,731
You know that Becky thinks
of herself as Princess Margaret,
378
00:13:19,821 --> 00:13:21,691
and that Cheryl is Queen Elizabeth.
379
00:13:21,771 --> 00:13:23,285
Yeah. Right.
380
00:13:23,286 --> 00:13:24,657
Yeah. Oh,
and you think you're Prince Philip?
381
00:13:24,658 --> 00:13:25,450
Is that what you're saying?
382
00:13:25,451 --> 00:13:26,870
- Yeah.
- CHERYL: Oh, my God.
383
00:13:26,950 --> 00:13:29,870
Prince Philip would put
a fucking gun to his head
384
00:13:29,950 --> 00:13:32,160
before he had you representing him.
385
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,256
Again, real quick,
are we talking about The Crown now?
386
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:35,820
- Yeah.
- How good is that show?
387
00:13:35,910 --> 00:13:38,200
You know what, Jon Hamm,
it was nice meeting you.
388
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:39,870
But, really, this is between us.
389
00:13:39,950 --> 00:13:42,660
You know what, I've heard enough.
Come on, Jonny. Let's go eat.
390
00:13:42,740 --> 00:13:44,320
- I'll call you.
- You've had enough...
391
00:13:44,410 --> 00:13:45,846
- ...you petty piece of shit.
- Thank you so much, by the way.
392
00:13:45,870 --> 00:13:47,820
SUSIE: Yeah, it's great. It's great.
393
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,410
- Go, go be him, asshole.
- Thank you.
394
00:13:54,570 --> 00:13:56,700
- Aw, man.
- LARRY: What are you doing?
395
00:13:56,780 --> 00:13:59,780
You just plopped that into
your, into your water?
396
00:13:59,870 --> 00:14:02,410
Yeah, I plopped it in because
I like lime with my water.
397
00:14:02,490 --> 00:14:04,910
I know but they,
they don't wash these rinds.
398
00:14:04,990 --> 00:14:06,700
You gotta have some trust in people.
399
00:14:06,780 --> 00:14:09,410
You ever see signs in bathrooms,
"Wash before leaving"?
400
00:14:09,490 --> 00:14:11,170
It doesn't matter
if their hands are clean.
401
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:12,796
- RICHARD: They don't have to...
- The rind's dirty.
402
00:14:12,820 --> 00:14:15,280
- You get a disease.
- Aah, please.
403
00:14:15,370 --> 00:14:16,910
It's bullshit.
404
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:19,240
And I'm really irked
about something, man.
405
00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,925
- Did you say "irked"?
- Yeah, irked.
406
00:14:21,950 --> 00:14:23,796
I never heard you use that word
before, but go ahead.
407
00:14:23,820 --> 00:14:26,910
I'm irked because...
with all due respect...
408
00:14:26,990 --> 00:14:28,530
Jon is here, and Michelle is...
409
00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:30,176
you wouldn't let Michelle
come to dinner.
410
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:32,070
I have to watch my Ps and Qs.
411
00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:33,870
I don't wanna watch Ps and Qs.
412
00:14:33,950 --> 00:14:35,280
Do you wanna watch Ps and Qs?
413
00:14:35,370 --> 00:14:37,160
What are you, Shari Lewis?
Where's Lamb Chop?
414
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:38,870
- In your pants?
- (LAUGHING)
415
00:14:38,950 --> 00:14:42,240
- Look, she's irked.
- She's irked.
416
00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:43,740
So you're both irked?
417
00:14:43,820 --> 00:14:47,410
She's so angry at me that I had
to, you know, make an excuse.
418
00:14:47,490 --> 00:14:48,780
Oh. What did you say?
419
00:14:48,870 --> 00:14:50,570
I said you had a bleeding rectum,
420
00:14:50,660 --> 00:14:52,320
and that you were worried and scared,
421
00:14:52,410 --> 00:14:54,070
and you needed to talk to me alone,
422
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,410
and you'd be embarrassed
if she heard it.
423
00:14:56,490 --> 00:14:59,477
- Are you out of your fucking mind?
- Well...
424
00:14:59,502 --> 00:15:00,886
You couldn't think of a
better excuse than that?
425
00:15:00,910 --> 00:15:02,796
You should have called me.
I got thousands of 'em.
426
00:15:02,820 --> 00:15:05,160
- I can't even face her now.
- Why not?
427
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,280
Nobody respects a person
with a bleeding rectum.
428
00:15:07,370 --> 00:15:09,450
You think Lincoln
could have prosecuted a war
429
00:15:09,530 --> 00:15:11,240
if people knew he had
a bleeding rectum?
430
00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:13,176
And by the way, when you
come to the dinner party
431
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,780
in a few days,
I would not mention it.
432
00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:16,570
Who mentions that at a dinner party?
433
00:15:16,660 --> 00:15:19,120
Do I still have it
or-or am I over it?
434
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,200
No, I left it open.
435
00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:23,200
Sorry to hear that.
436
00:15:23,570 --> 00:15:25,200
JON: I also... Can I say,
437
00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:26,820
we ordered this
kind of for the table,
438
00:15:26,910 --> 00:15:28,990
and I feel like you've
gone way over your
439
00:15:29,070 --> 00:15:30,530
appetizer allotment at this point.
440
00:15:30,620 --> 00:15:32,780
- My allotment?
- JON: Well, there's three of us.
441
00:15:32,870 --> 00:15:35,660
- We each get a third.
- Who makes up that fuckin' rule?
442
00:15:35,740 --> 00:15:37,370
BOTH: It's an unwritten rule.
443
00:15:37,450 --> 00:15:38,870
Oh, my God.
444
00:15:38,950 --> 00:15:40,620
There's two Larry Davids.
445
00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:42,490
Holy shit.
446
00:15:42,570 --> 00:15:43,910
Pretty good.
447
00:15:43,990 --> 00:15:46,530
Pretty, pretty good.
448
00:15:49,450 --> 00:15:51,120
BOTH: Aah.
449
00:15:52,870 --> 00:15:54,200
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
450
00:15:56,530 --> 00:15:59,120
- She threw me out.
- She threw you out?
451
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,410
- Yep. Yep, yep, yep, yep.
- Why?
452
00:16:01,490 --> 00:16:04,910
Well, she doesn't like the way
I defended you being with Becky.
453
00:16:04,990 --> 00:16:07,780
- Come on in. Make yourself at home.
- I will.
454
00:16:07,870 --> 00:16:09,030
I, I gotta go.
455
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:10,596
- Where are you going?
- I'm going to Becky's.
456
00:16:10,620 --> 00:16:13,530
Oh. If you keep going to Becky's,
457
00:16:13,620 --> 00:16:15,410
I can't go home.
458
00:16:15,490 --> 00:16:16,870
Keep going to Becky's.
459
00:16:16,950 --> 00:16:18,780
- I'll see you later.
- Bedroom's upstairs.
460
00:16:18,870 --> 00:16:20,530
- Second one.
- Got it.
461
00:16:20,620 --> 00:16:22,410
Okay.
462
00:16:22,490 --> 00:16:24,740
(CLATTERING)
463
00:16:27,950 --> 00:16:31,410
♪ ♪
464
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:39,530
(WHISTLING)
465
00:16:39,620 --> 00:16:42,120
(CLATTERING)
466
00:16:45,490 --> 00:16:46,570
No.
467
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:51,820
♪ ♪
468
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:56,660
You're welcome.
469
00:17:04,910 --> 00:17:07,070
(BOTH LAUGHING)
470
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:10,700
We did it. We did it!
471
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,080
You didn't expect an airport
drop-off, did you?
472
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,850
Nope. Nobody expects an
airport drop-off anymore.
473
00:17:16,874 --> 00:17:17,684
Ah? Airport drop-off.
474
00:17:17,740 --> 00:17:20,160
- All right, well, have fun skiing.
- I will.
475
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:21,740
I'll text you when I land.
476
00:17:21,820 --> 00:17:23,296
- Eh, not necessary.
- I didn't really want to.
477
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:24,886
- Yeah.
- It's like an extra, unnecessary step.
478
00:17:24,910 --> 00:17:27,370
- I'll find out if you're dead.
- Yeah, yeah. You'll know.
479
00:17:27,450 --> 00:17:28,966
- Yeah.
- You got big plans for when I'm gone?
480
00:17:28,990 --> 00:17:30,570
I'm gonna help a friend out
481
00:17:30,660 --> 00:17:32,280
with his, uh, with his new business.
482
00:17:32,370 --> 00:17:33,490
- Cool.
- Yeah.
483
00:17:33,570 --> 00:17:35,410
- Thank you.
- Bye.
484
00:17:36,820 --> 00:17:39,320
LEON: He told her you
had a bleeding rectum?
485
00:17:39,410 --> 00:17:41,450
Yeah. Now I gotta walk around
486
00:17:41,530 --> 00:17:43,780
knowing this woman thinks
I have a bleeding rectum.
487
00:17:43,870 --> 00:17:44,910
I can't live like that.
488
00:17:44,990 --> 00:17:46,450
'Cause once that starts to spread,
489
00:17:46,530 --> 00:17:47,620
she's gonna tell everybody.
490
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:48,990
And the worst part is,
491
00:17:49,070 --> 00:17:51,006
no one's ever gonna know
that the bleeding stopped.
492
00:17:51,030 --> 00:17:53,490
People are thinkin',
how does he stop the bleedin'?
493
00:17:53,570 --> 00:17:54,780
Is he wearin' a pad?
494
00:17:54,870 --> 00:17:56,630
Is he, is he a little boy,
a little Dutch boy
495
00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:57,820
with his finger in his ass,
496
00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,870
with wooden shoes on,
with socks to his knee,
497
00:17:59,950 --> 00:18:02,120
little shorts on, little vest,
little top hat on,
498
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:03,950
with his finger in your damn rectum?
499
00:18:04,030 --> 00:18:05,620
Right. Right.
500
00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:07,620
Hey. There's a parking lot.
501
00:18:07,700 --> 00:18:09,280
- Woo, let's go.
- Yeah, let's do it.
502
00:18:09,370 --> 00:18:12,780
(LAUGHING) Get to work, baby.
"Gotta Go"!
503
00:18:13,910 --> 00:18:15,320
Can I help you guys?
504
00:18:15,410 --> 00:18:17,660
We got, uh, we got a little
business proposition for you.
505
00:18:17,740 --> 00:18:18,820
My name's Larry.
506
00:18:18,910 --> 00:18:20,240
- Hey, Larry.
- This is Leon.
507
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:21,990
- I'm Bill.
- Here. Here you go, Bill.
508
00:18:22,070 --> 00:18:23,280
- "Gotta Go"?
- That's right.
509
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:25,320
You ever sit in that booth
at this time of day
510
00:18:25,410 --> 00:18:27,170
and gotta go to the bathroom,
what do you do?
511
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:28,370
I just stay in the booth.
512
00:18:28,450 --> 00:18:30,200
I can't go anywhere,
just gotta hold it in.
513
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,200
Until now. For a dollar a minute,
514
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,070
five dollar minimum,
I will sit in that booth
515
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:35,660
while you go and use the bathroom.
516
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:37,370
- You're serious?
- Very serious.
517
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,490
- Right now, I really have to go.
- LARRY: Go!
518
00:18:39,570 --> 00:18:40,660
LEON: Go ahead, brother.
519
00:18:40,740 --> 00:18:42,280
- I'll be right back.
- My man.
520
00:18:42,370 --> 00:18:43,990
- Thank you.
- My man, I got you!
521
00:18:44,070 --> 00:18:45,570
My man, you gotta go!
522
00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:46,870
Ha-ha!
523
00:18:46,950 --> 00:18:48,716
- Look at this shit, Larry. Woo!
- Huh? Told ya.
524
00:18:48,740 --> 00:18:51,700
- Did I tell ya? Huh? I told ya!
- You fuckin' told me, Larry.
525
00:18:53,950 --> 00:18:56,120
- You order a "Gotta Go"?
- Yes, I gotta go.
526
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:57,700
- Okay. You go.
- Thank you.
527
00:18:57,780 --> 00:18:59,660
- Before I gotta go. Get on out of here.
- Okay.
528
00:19:00,070 --> 00:19:02,740
- Gino! Go handle your business.
- Bye.
529
00:19:06,780 --> 00:19:08,490
- (SPITS)
- Hey. Excuse me.
530
00:19:08,570 --> 00:19:11,200
- You just spat on my shoe.
- It's a fuckin' spit shine.
531
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:12,530
- It's a... Stop!
- (SPITS)
532
00:19:12,620 --> 00:19:14,070
Stop! Stop spitting on my shoe.
533
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:15,480
I'm not, I'm not paying for this.
534
00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:17,070
- Okay?
- Your tips are appreciated.
535
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,990
Give me a fuckin' break.
I'm not giving you a cent.
536
00:19:20,070 --> 00:19:23,160
Fuck it, then. I don't give a fuck.
I don't work here.
537
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,410
Woo!
538
00:19:25,490 --> 00:19:27,740
Ha-ha! Woo!
539
00:19:27,820 --> 00:19:29,950
♪ ♪
540
00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:34,200
Thank you.
541
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:35,506
- Thank you for having me.
- Thank you.
542
00:19:35,530 --> 00:19:37,130
- Yes, indeed.
- My pleasure to have you.
543
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:38,636
- And by the way, your home is lovely.
- You're welcome.
544
00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:40,296
I should be complimenting
you, too, because...
545
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:41,820
RICHARD: Well, I did pick out,
546
00:19:41,910 --> 00:19:43,390
I would say, a majority of the stuff.
547
00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:45,370
JON: Well, I can tell. Great taste.
548
00:19:45,450 --> 00:19:47,006
MICHELLE (MUTTERING):
He's sitting down, Richard.
549
00:19:47,030 --> 00:19:48,176
Richard, he's sitting down.
I can't...
550
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:49,780
He's gotta sit somewhere.
551
00:19:49,870 --> 00:19:51,466
- I can't... I don't want...
- You know what?
552
00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:53,570
You can't sit on the arm.
It's too thin.
553
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:56,120
- No, I like a thick, cushy arm.
- I agree with you.
554
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:59,240
Excuse me, everyone,
but dinner is ready.
555
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,410
- Please follow me into the dining room.
- Okay.
556
00:20:01,490 --> 00:20:02,820
This way.
557
00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:05,990
We have assigned seating,
so everyone find your name.
558
00:20:06,410 --> 00:20:08,870
- JON: Here we are.
- Welcome. Here we are.
559
00:20:08,950 --> 00:20:10,410
Richard, darling, this way.
560
00:20:10,490 --> 00:20:12,216
- RICHARD: Thank you, babe.
- MICHELLE: Next to me.
561
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:13,570
- Thank you.
- Michelle.
562
00:20:13,660 --> 00:20:16,240
Wh-what's with the, uh,
wooden chair here?
563
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:17,990
Oh, you know, I'm so sorry.
564
00:20:18,070 --> 00:20:20,120
I-I... This set only
comes with seven chairs.
565
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:21,920
- Seven chairs.
- RICHARD: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
566
00:20:21,990 --> 00:20:23,620
- How unusual.
- RICHARD: I was with her.
567
00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:26,096
- I never heard of that before.
- Yeah. You know what? It was odd.
568
00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:28,570
It was weird, but I, I loved
them, so, I went with it.
569
00:20:28,660 --> 00:20:30,346
- Ah.
- RICHARD: Hey, we're having a dinner.
570
00:20:30,370 --> 00:20:32,716
- Come on. Let's enjoy ourselves.
- Okay, sure. You're right.
571
00:20:32,740 --> 00:20:34,660
- Let's all enjoy. Let's enjoy.
- Yes!
572
00:20:34,740 --> 00:20:36,260
- MICHELLE: Let's enjoy.
- Let's enjoy.
573
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,096
- That's the spirit. That's the spirit.
- There we go.
574
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:39,596
- Yes, let's enjoy.
- Bless the new table.
575
00:20:39,620 --> 00:20:41,950
- About time.
- Can I, uh, talk to you in the kitchen...
576
00:20:42,030 --> 00:20:43,136
- ...for a second?
- Who, me?
577
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,240
- Yeah.
- What now?
578
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,030
You got me sitting
in that wooden chair?
579
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,320
- It's embarrassing.
- It's new furniture.
580
00:20:48,410 --> 00:20:50,780
She's afraid if you sit on it,
you're gonna ruin it.
581
00:20:50,870 --> 00:20:52,490
I don't have a bleeding rectum. Okay?
582
00:20:52,570 --> 00:20:53,990
And even if I did,
583
00:20:54,070 --> 00:20:55,620
it's not gonna bleed onto the chair.
584
00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:58,370
How stupid! You could have said
a million different things.
585
00:20:58,450 --> 00:20:59,990
A rectum came to my mind first.
586
00:21:00,070 --> 00:21:02,510
You could have at least said I
was better, that I was over it.
587
00:21:02,570 --> 00:21:04,160
- I forgot.
- All right.
588
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:05,320
The chair's in the house.
589
00:21:05,410 --> 00:21:07,740
You tell the CEO
that I want that chair.
590
00:21:07,820 --> 00:21:09,240
You can't get one.
591
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:10,660
If I don't get a normal chair,
592
00:21:10,740 --> 00:21:13,490
I'm gonna blow this
bullshit bleeding rectum story
593
00:21:13,570 --> 00:21:15,410
sky high. Okay?
594
00:21:15,490 --> 00:21:17,070
So get me a normal chair.
595
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:18,700
I'd really appreciate it.
596
00:21:18,780 --> 00:21:20,490
All right, you'll get the chair.
597
00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:21,990
- Okay?
- MICHELLE: That's great.
598
00:21:22,070 --> 00:21:24,070
Let's get the salads, and...
599
00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:26,620
egg rolls out.
We'll wait about 15 minutes for dinner?
600
00:21:26,700 --> 00:21:28,280
Hey, Michelle. Hi, honey.
601
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:30,820
- Hi. What's going on?
- Listen, I spoke to Larry,
602
00:21:30,910 --> 00:21:32,950
and he's really embarrassed,
and, uh...
603
00:21:33,030 --> 00:21:34,490
you gotta get him the chair.
604
00:21:34,570 --> 00:21:36,756
- Oh, no. Absolutely not.
- You have to get him a regular chair.
605
00:21:36,780 --> 00:21:38,466
No, he's not... he's not
sitting in the chair.
606
00:21:38,490 --> 00:21:41,450
- No.
- He said he'd really appreciate it.
607
00:21:41,950 --> 00:21:44,620
Really? He said that?
He said he would appreciate it?
608
00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:46,700
Yeah, I wouldn't lie to you.
609
00:21:46,780 --> 00:21:48,370
Okay. Okay, fine. Fine, fine.
610
00:21:48,450 --> 00:21:50,450
Let him, let him sit
in the chair, but...
611
00:21:50,530 --> 00:21:52,870
if he bleeds in my new chair,
612
00:21:52,950 --> 00:21:54,950
you're in big fuckin' trouble.
613
00:21:56,530 --> 00:21:57,870
(SIGHS)
614
00:21:57,950 --> 00:21:59,280
- ALL: Ooh.
- Mm.
615
00:21:59,370 --> 00:22:00,820
CASSIE: Okay. So, Jon.
616
00:22:00,910 --> 00:22:04,160
- You're playing a Larry-type character...
- Yes.
617
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:05,660
...in this movie. So, uh,
618
00:22:05,740 --> 00:22:07,120
what does the character even do?
619
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,030
- He's a sitcom writer.
- CASSIE: Of course.
620
00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:10,926
Uh, but the whole... Very successful.
The whole thing is,
621
00:22:10,950 --> 00:22:13,700
it turns out that
the thing he's most known for,
622
00:22:13,780 --> 00:22:16,240
his big sitcom that he created,
623
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:18,700
he stole it from
an Australian sitcom.
624
00:22:18,780 --> 00:22:20,346
- LARRY: What?
- The guy's a total fraud.
625
00:22:20,370 --> 00:22:21,450
He stole the idea.
626
00:22:21,530 --> 00:22:22,530
- He stole...
- What?
627
00:22:22,620 --> 00:22:23,910
What do you mean? Stole it?
628
00:22:23,990 --> 00:22:24,990
I didn't steal anything.
629
00:22:25,070 --> 00:22:26,240
No, in the movie, not you.
630
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,000
- It sort of implies that...
- LARRY: Yeah!
631
00:22:28,030 --> 00:22:29,546
- ...their show is stolen.
- LARRY: Yes!
632
00:22:29,570 --> 00:22:31,240
The character's name
is Lawrence Dean.
633
00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:32,966
- Lawrence Dean? What?
- It isn't the same as Larry David.
634
00:22:32,990 --> 00:22:36,370
Hey, hey, hey. Guess what I found?
I found a chair!
635
00:22:36,450 --> 00:22:37,740
ALL: Oh!
636
00:22:37,820 --> 00:22:39,450
Yes! Hey!
637
00:22:39,530 --> 00:22:42,120
- What a miracle.
- RICHARD: It was in the garage.
638
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:43,466
MICHELLE: How come
you didn't tell me?
639
00:22:43,490 --> 00:22:44,886
Richard:
I didn't know it was a chair.
640
00:22:44,910 --> 00:22:46,110
- It was all wrapped up.
- Ooh.
641
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:47,410
It was wrapped up in plastic.
642
00:22:47,490 --> 00:22:49,570
I thought it was, uh,
my dead grandmother's ghost.
643
00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:52,260
- I didn't know what the fuck it was.
- How could you not tell me?
644
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:54,200
- What a lucky thing.
- RICHARD: Yeah.
645
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,660
Because they didn't know,
and they just found it
646
00:22:56,740 --> 00:22:59,070
- in the garage.
- It all worked out. Look at that!
647
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,410
- They're very comfortable, very pretty.
- LARRY: Yeah.
648
00:23:01,490 --> 00:23:03,870
It's very bouncy.
It's, it's kind of bouncy.
649
00:23:03,950 --> 00:23:05,136
LARRY: Yeah. I love this chair.
650
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:06,450
JON: Now we can eat.
651
00:23:06,530 --> 00:23:08,570
- Want more of these?
- LARRY: Ah. Love Chinese.
652
00:23:08,660 --> 00:23:10,490
Thank you.
653
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:15,160
You guys, do you pick up the
rice bowl and eat it like this?
654
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:17,870
Or do you start on the table,
655
00:23:17,950 --> 00:23:20,070
and then pick it up,
pick the rice up?
656
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:21,620
You pick up the bowl first.
657
00:23:21,700 --> 00:23:23,136
Oh, you pick it right... eat
it right out of the bowl.
658
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:24,386
Yeah, eat right out of the bowl.
659
00:23:24,410 --> 00:23:26,240
It's just like eating it
over the garbage can.
660
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,120
- ALEX: Huh?
- LARRY: Yeah, yeah. In a way.
661
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:29,780
Oh, Michelle.
662
00:23:29,870 --> 00:23:32,740
- The walnut shrimp is scrumptious.
- Mm.
663
00:23:32,820 --> 00:23:33,990
Scrumptious?
664
00:23:34,070 --> 00:23:36,120
- You think so?
- It's really good.
665
00:23:36,780 --> 00:23:39,160
- What are we waiting for?
- I mean, come on. Come on.
666
00:23:39,910 --> 00:23:41,716
- LARRY: Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- What are you doing?
667
00:23:41,740 --> 00:23:43,209
What are you doing?
I want the walnut shrimp?
668
00:23:43,233 --> 00:23:43,934
What are you doing?
669
00:23:43,990 --> 00:23:47,160
ANDY: I'm turning the Lazy Susan
the way it should be turned.
670
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:49,030
- In order.
- LARRY: No, no, no, no, no.
671
00:23:49,120 --> 00:23:51,780
A Lazy Susan is like
a roundabout, okay?
672
00:23:51,870 --> 00:23:54,030
I'm sorry,
I don't think you're right.
673
00:23:54,120 --> 00:23:54,667
CASSIE: Okay, can I...
674
00:23:54,668 --> 00:23:55,886
I don't think you know
how a roundabout works.
675
00:23:55,910 --> 00:23:57,546
It's first come, first serve.
That's a roundabout.
676
00:23:57,570 --> 00:23:59,990
- I do know how a roundabout works.
- I don't think you do.
677
00:24:00,070 --> 00:24:02,280
- It works like a Lazy Susan.
- LARRY: No!
678
00:24:02,370 --> 00:24:04,136
- The cars...
- That's now how a lazy Susan works.
679
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:05,756
- Can I ask you a favor, please?
- It's how a lazy Susan...
680
00:24:05,780 --> 00:24:07,450
Can I ask you both a favor?
681
00:24:07,530 --> 00:24:10,370
Can you please not use
that term "Lazy Susan"?
682
00:24:10,450 --> 00:24:13,160
It's got racist and sexist
connotations,
683
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:14,620
and I'd really prefer
684
00:24:14,700 --> 00:24:16,990
- you just not call it that.
- Whoa.
685
00:24:17,070 --> 00:24:18,370
- LARRY: Lazy Susan?
- Yes.
686
00:24:18,450 --> 00:24:20,030
Who's that racist towards? Susans?
687
00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:22,136
- LARRY: That's crazy. Where'd you get that?
- CASSIE: Okay.
688
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,120
I would just like you
to not use the term.
689
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:25,920
You're right. You know what?
It should be...
690
00:24:25,990 --> 00:24:28,006
We should definitely start
using the Ambitious Susan.
691
00:24:28,030 --> 00:24:30,320
Yes, yes. Please spin
the Indefatigable Susan.
692
00:24:30,410 --> 00:24:34,070
Oh, can we have the Multifaceted
Susan my way, please?
693
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:36,030
Yeah, spin the Industrious Susan.
694
00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:38,200
Ooh, can you spin Ambidextrous
Susan, please.
695
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:39,756
- Oh, the Ambidextrous Susan.
- Yes, both ways.
696
00:24:39,780 --> 00:24:41,490
- BOTH: Both ways.
- So funny. You want it?
697
00:24:41,570 --> 00:24:44,570
- You want it? You want your stuff?
- Whoa!
698
00:24:44,660 --> 00:24:46,530
♪ ♪
699
00:24:46,620 --> 00:24:48,410
- (GASPS)
- Whoa!
700
00:24:54,490 --> 00:24:56,160
RICHARD: Oh, man.
701
00:24:57,070 --> 00:24:59,530
- ANDY: Oh, boy.
- What did you do?
702
00:24:59,620 --> 00:25:01,426
- LARRY: What? I, I didn't...
- What did you do?
703
00:25:01,450 --> 00:25:04,200
- She spun the thing around like that.
- The thing, it was too fast.
704
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:07,530
- You wouldn't shut up!
- (ALL ARGUING)
705
00:25:07,620 --> 00:25:10,070
I don't give a shit! I want you out!
706
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,990
- You're kicking me out?
- MICHELLE: Yeah. And you,
707
00:25:13,070 --> 00:25:14,910
Larry David Junior, you can go, too.
708
00:25:14,990 --> 00:25:16,740
- You're kicking me out.
- Yes, Jon Hamm.
709
00:25:16,820 --> 00:25:18,666
Hey, you're getting kicked out.
Look at that, beautiful.
710
00:25:18,690 --> 00:25:19,434
What's up, huh? Hey.
711
00:25:19,490 --> 00:25:21,280
Out!
712
00:25:21,700 --> 00:25:23,990
- All right.
- All right.
713
00:25:24,070 --> 00:25:26,240
- Okay. (GRUNTS)
- We should, uh...
714
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:27,990
- Eh.
- Eh.
715
00:25:34,740 --> 00:25:36,410
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
716
00:25:36,490 --> 00:25:37,820
LARRY: Hey.
717
00:25:37,910 --> 00:25:40,070
BECKY: Larry.
Oh, thank God you answered.
718
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,320
I just got in a huge accident
on Mount...
719
00:25:42,410 --> 00:25:43,780
- (SCREAMS)
- Wha?
720
00:25:43,870 --> 00:25:45,910
BECKY (OVER PHONE): It was
a ski school of children.
721
00:25:45,950 --> 00:25:48,120
They just flew
right in front of me. Ow!
722
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,820
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
723
00:25:50,910 --> 00:25:52,320
They're taking me to a hospital,
724
00:25:52,410 --> 00:25:54,006
and I don't... I just don't
know where it is or...
725
00:25:54,030 --> 00:25:56,256
- I don't know this town.
- Okay, don't worry about a thing.
726
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:57,756
I'll be on the next flight to Denver.
727
00:25:57,780 --> 00:25:59,620
- You would do that for me?
- Of course.
728
00:25:59,700 --> 00:26:02,450
Oh, my God, Larry.
You really are a prince.
729
00:26:02,530 --> 00:26:04,620
Don't worry. I'm calling
my travel agent right now.
730
00:26:04,700 --> 00:26:07,370
Thank you so, so much. Ow!
731
00:26:07,450 --> 00:26:09,160
- (PHONE RINGS)
- Westside Travel and Tour.
732
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:10,238
Eliza speaking.
733
00:26:10,239 --> 00:26:12,006
Oh, hi. It's Larry David.
I have an emergency.
734
00:26:12,030 --> 00:26:14,120
I need to get on the next
flight to Denver, please.
735
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,280
I've got one leaving
in an hour and 40 minutes.
736
00:26:16,370 --> 00:26:18,240
Perfect. Fantastic. Book it.
737
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:20,346
ELIZA: Oh, you're lucky.
There's only one seat left.
738
00:26:20,370 --> 00:26:22,570
19E.
739
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:25,620
19E.
740
00:26:25,700 --> 00:26:28,740
It's a coach seat.
Oh, it's a middle seat.
741
00:26:30,570 --> 00:26:32,280
Shall I book it?
742
00:26:32,370 --> 00:26:34,370
Any other flights going to Denver?
743
00:26:34,450 --> 00:26:36,410
We've got a two, a four,
744
00:26:36,490 --> 00:26:37,820
and a six.
745
00:26:37,910 --> 00:26:41,990
Anything in rows... one through four?
746
00:26:42,070 --> 00:26:44,530
The only thing left is coach.
747
00:26:45,660 --> 00:26:46,780
Okay.
748
00:26:47,910 --> 00:26:49,990
Give me the next
first-class flight to Denver.
749
00:26:50,070 --> 00:26:52,490
It's not until 9:00 p.m.
750
00:26:52,570 --> 00:26:54,740
9:00 p.m. Perfect.
I'll take it. Book it.
751
00:26:54,820 --> 00:26:56,200
ELIZA: Very well.
752
00:26:59,570 --> 00:27:01,700
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
753
00:27:04,780 --> 00:27:05,620
Hey.
754
00:27:05,700 --> 00:27:06,530
Hey, Larry.
755
00:27:06,620 --> 00:27:07,780
I got a "Gotta Go" emergency.
756
00:27:07,870 --> 00:27:09,450
I'm at the shoe shine shop, right?
757
00:27:09,530 --> 00:27:11,240
And the guy must have food poisoning.
758
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:13,000
He's stuck on the fuckin'
toilet right now.
759
00:27:13,070 --> 00:27:14,370
So? What do you want me to do?
760
00:27:14,450 --> 00:27:16,006
I need you to cover for me
at the newsstand.
761
00:27:16,030 --> 00:27:17,830
The guy relies on me
for his six o'clock piss.
762
00:27:17,870 --> 00:27:20,620
- I'll call you back.
- LEON (OVER PHONE): Okay. Okay.
763
00:27:20,700 --> 00:27:22,620
- LARRY: (CLAPS) Hey.
- Yeah.
764
00:27:22,700 --> 00:27:25,030
I need you to do me a favor.
Actually, do Leon a favor.
765
00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:27,280
He needs somebody to fill
in for him at the newsstand.
766
00:27:27,370 --> 00:27:29,030
- For the "Gotta Go" app?
- Yeah.
767
00:27:29,120 --> 00:27:30,120
I can't do it.
768
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:31,740
No, no. You gotta do it.
I can't do it,
769
00:27:31,820 --> 00:27:33,096
because I have to fly to Denver.
770
00:27:33,120 --> 00:27:35,530
- I already got my sweats on.
- So what?
771
00:27:35,620 --> 00:27:37,060
Yeah, well, once I got my sweats on,
772
00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:39,370
there's no going back.
I got my sweats on.
773
00:27:39,450 --> 00:27:41,280
What is it, an immutable
law of physics?
774
00:27:41,370 --> 00:27:42,756
Once you're in sweats,
you can't get out?
775
00:27:42,780 --> 00:27:43,780
Newton's Law of Sweats?
776
00:27:43,820 --> 00:27:46,990
It's Jeff Greene's Law of Day Over.
777
00:27:47,070 --> 00:27:48,910
Listen, I'd really appreciate it.
778
00:27:48,990 --> 00:27:51,530
- I'm in my sweats!
- (PHONE RINGS)
779
00:27:51,620 --> 00:27:53,620
- Hello?
- Larry, what the fuck you doin', man?
780
00:27:53,700 --> 00:27:55,346
- Goddamn!
- LARRY (OVER PHONE): All right, okay!
781
00:27:55,370 --> 00:27:57,410
Shut the fuck up! I'll come!
782
00:27:57,490 --> 00:27:59,280
Thank you. Thank you, by the way.
783
00:27:59,370 --> 00:28:02,160
- (SNEEZES) Wow.
- LARRY: God bless you.
784
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:08,280
Hey.
785
00:28:08,370 --> 00:28:10,160
- Hey. I'm from "Gotta Go."
- Larry?
786
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:12,240
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Oh.
787
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:15,070
- I really gotta go.
- Okay. Okay. Hurry up.
788
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:16,410
- Okay. I'll be quick.
- Okay.
789
00:28:16,490 --> 00:28:18,030
- Okay. Thank you.
- Yeah. Hurry up.
790
00:28:18,120 --> 00:28:19,450
Okay.
791
00:28:19,530 --> 00:28:21,950
(DISTANT SIREN WAILING)
792
00:28:22,370 --> 00:28:23,700
Fuck.
793
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:27,410
Oh, my God.
794
00:28:27,490 --> 00:28:29,120
- (PHONE RINGS)
- Hello?
795
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:30,966
LARRY (OVER PHONE): The newsstand
guy left 15 minutes ago.
796
00:28:30,990 --> 00:28:31,870
Hasn't come back.
797
00:28:31,950 --> 00:28:33,740
I gotta catch a plane to Denver.
798
00:28:33,820 --> 00:28:35,280
Hey, no browsing.
799
00:28:35,370 --> 00:28:36,950
Hey, do you carry Vegan Living?
800
00:28:37,030 --> 00:28:38,910
Who gives a shit?
Get the hell out of here.
801
00:28:38,990 --> 00:28:40,280
You gotta come and relieve me.
802
00:28:40,370 --> 00:28:42,160
I can't, Larry.
I'm at the shoe shine stand.
803
00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:43,870
This guy's taking a $40 shit.
804
00:28:43,950 --> 00:28:46,231
LARRY (OVER PHONE): Aw!
All right, I'll get somebody else.
805
00:28:48,990 --> 00:28:50,950
Thanks very much. Hey.
806
00:28:51,030 --> 00:28:52,030
LARRY: Hey!
807
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:53,870
- I got your back.
- Oh, my God.
808
00:28:53,950 --> 00:28:55,830
- You are a lifesaver.
- No worries, no worries.
809
00:28:55,870 --> 00:28:58,280
- Thank you so much.
- Not at all.
810
00:28:58,370 --> 00:28:59,620
Jonny.
811
00:28:59,700 --> 00:29:01,320
Really appreciate this.
812
00:29:01,410 --> 00:29:03,070
Hey, no prob...
813
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:04,950
- Ah? (LAUGHING)
- LARRY: Ah?
814
00:29:05,030 --> 00:29:06,740
I get it. (LAUGHS)
815
00:29:11,700 --> 00:29:13,200
LARRY: Oh, my God.
816
00:29:15,740 --> 00:29:17,120
Excuse me, I'm so sorry.
817
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:18,740
I got seven minutes
to catch the plane.
818
00:29:18,820 --> 00:29:20,530
It sounds like a lie, but it's not.
819
00:29:20,620 --> 00:29:21,870
I'm not a cutter by nature.
820
00:29:21,950 --> 00:29:24,160
Um, my, my girlfriend
got in a skiing accident.
821
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:25,910
You know, she's my ex-wife's sister.
822
00:29:25,990 --> 00:29:27,820
We don't have to get into that, but,
823
00:29:27,910 --> 00:29:29,410
nevertheless, thank you so much.
824
00:29:29,490 --> 00:29:31,530
- I really appreciate it.
- Next.
825
00:29:31,620 --> 00:29:32,910
Are you together?
826
00:29:34,950 --> 00:29:36,200
No.
827
00:29:36,740 --> 00:29:38,120
MAN: No.
828
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:40,740
Why would you think we were together?
829
00:29:40,820 --> 00:29:42,030
No reason.
830
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:44,120
- No, no reason at all?
- No reason?
831
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:45,700
I just assumed you were a couple...
832
00:29:45,780 --> 00:29:47,216
- WOMAN: You assumed?
- MAN: You assumed...
833
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:49,160
- Oh, really?
- You assumed we're a couple. We...
834
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:50,886
I mean, I've never...
I mean, nice to meet you.
835
00:29:50,910 --> 00:29:53,320
- Nice to meet you, too.
- Yeah, see, look, we just met.
836
00:29:53,410 --> 00:29:54,780
Honest mistake.
837
00:29:54,870 --> 00:29:56,870
But why did you make the mistake?
838
00:29:56,950 --> 00:29:58,141
That's what I'm wondering.
839
00:29:58,166 --> 00:30:00,684
Any two people standing
together could be a couple.
840
00:30:00,740 --> 00:30:02,240
Two men, two women.
841
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:04,530
If I saw a man wearing a yarmulke,
842
00:30:04,620 --> 00:30:06,740
standing next to a woman
wearing a kerchief
843
00:30:06,820 --> 00:30:08,570
and carrying a mahjong set,
844
00:30:08,660 --> 00:30:09,980
I would think they were a couple.
845
00:30:10,030 --> 00:30:12,280
- What?
- It's just a natural assumption.
846
00:30:12,370 --> 00:30:14,200
Anyway, I'd love to continue
our discussion.
847
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:16,386
It's been very interesting.
I have to catch a flight to Denver.
848
00:30:16,410 --> 00:30:18,107
Eh, there's a lot of
black people in Denver.
849
00:30:18,131 --> 00:30:19,224
Yeah. Tell 'em we said hi.
850
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:20,660
Hello, sir. Boarding pass?
851
00:30:20,740 --> 00:30:22,370
(BEEPS)
852
00:30:22,450 --> 00:30:24,820
You've been randomly selected
for a security search, sir.
853
00:30:24,910 --> 00:30:27,530
What? What? Secure...
What are you talking about?
854
00:30:27,620 --> 00:30:29,756
- Can someone get my spot? Thank you.
- LARRY: Oh, please.
855
00:30:29,780 --> 00:30:32,240
Are you kidding me?
Oh, they couldn't be a couple.
856
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:33,320
Oh, it's crazy.
857
00:30:33,410 --> 00:30:34,636
It has nothing to do with that, sir.
858
00:30:34,660 --> 00:30:37,400
- Oh, it has nothing to do with that?
- No.
859
00:30:37,425 --> 00:30:38,926
Come on,
I'm gonna miss my flight to Denver.
860
00:30:38,950 --> 00:30:41,030
- Enjoy that search. Yeah.
- Enjoy it.
861
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:42,320
Honestly, if you're looking...
862
00:30:42,370 --> 00:30:43,796
I wouldn't look in
the food and wine section.
863
00:30:43,820 --> 00:30:45,910
I would look... Los Angeles magazine.
864
00:30:45,990 --> 00:30:46,910
Right down there.
865
00:30:46,990 --> 00:30:48,370
You don't find what you need,
866
00:30:48,450 --> 00:30:50,210
- look online. Everything's online.
- Thanks.
867
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:51,990
Excuse me, ma'am. No browsing.
868
00:30:52,070 --> 00:30:54,240
No, I'm just looking for an
article that Jay Inslee...
869
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:55,450
BOTH: Oh.
870
00:30:55,530 --> 00:30:57,240
- Oh, hi.
- Cheryl.
871
00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:58,570
- Jon.
- That's me.
872
00:30:58,660 --> 00:30:59,700
- Hamm. Hi.
- Yes.
873
00:30:59,780 --> 00:31:00,870
What are you doing here?
874
00:31:00,950 --> 00:31:02,546
I'm just watching
the newsstand for Larry.
875
00:31:02,570 --> 00:31:04,730
He had to... He had to jump
out and run to the airport.
876
00:31:04,780 --> 00:31:07,950
I'm sorry.
Does Larry own a newsstand now?
877
00:31:08,030 --> 00:31:09,570
Great question.
878
00:31:09,660 --> 00:31:11,490
- I don't have an answer.
- Okay.
879
00:31:11,570 --> 00:31:14,450
- So you are Larry's ex-wife. Wow.
- Yeah. I know.
880
00:31:14,530 --> 00:31:17,200
- I find that fascinating.
- Do you?
881
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:19,780
Oh, my gosh.
Spending the last few days with him?
882
00:31:19,870 --> 00:31:22,620
- I gotta know everything.
- It's a lot.
883
00:31:22,700 --> 00:31:24,950
Well, do you wanna
just go get some coffee?
884
00:31:25,030 --> 00:31:27,120
Sit down and talk?
885
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,410
- Now?
- Well, yeah. Why not?
886
00:31:29,490 --> 00:31:31,370
- Okay. Uh...
- Let's go.
887
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,120
I mean, do you really wanna hear...
888
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,280
Are you kidding me?
I wanna hear everything.
889
00:31:36,370 --> 00:31:38,620
CHERYL: You might be bored.
Ah, 17 years...
890
00:31:38,700 --> 00:31:40,200
JON: Wow.
891
00:31:48,700 --> 00:31:50,410
Do you recognize that signature?
892
00:31:50,490 --> 00:31:51,966
LEON: He killed the
motherfucker 'cause the waffles
893
00:31:51,990 --> 00:31:53,160
had expired and shit.
894
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:55,870
Gonna sit in that room
and get interrogated...
895
00:31:55,950 --> 00:31:57,990
Hey. Okay? You happy? You happy?
896
00:31:58,070 --> 00:31:59,790
- I hope you're happy.
- What the fuck, man?
897
00:31:59,870 --> 00:32:01,700
- I missed my flight to Denver.
- JEFF: Sorry.
898
00:32:01,780 --> 00:32:03,796
LARRY: Oh, because you wouldn't
get out of your sweat pants.
899
00:32:03,820 --> 00:32:05,570
Suppose there was an emergency?
Then what?
900
00:32:05,660 --> 00:32:06,796
You take the sweat pants off?
901
00:32:06,820 --> 00:32:08,120
Well, what kind of an emergency?
902
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,620
Suppose, uh, your friend
was in a car accident.
903
00:32:10,700 --> 00:32:13,490
- Which friend?
- Me. I got hit by a car.
904
00:32:13,570 --> 00:32:14,990
How did you get hit by a car?
905
00:32:15,070 --> 00:32:16,570
I, I got a piece of pizza, and,
906
00:32:16,660 --> 00:32:18,070
and I was crossing the street,
907
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:19,490
and the, the cheese fell off,
908
00:32:19,570 --> 00:32:21,046
and I bent down
to pick up the cheese,
909
00:32:21,070 --> 00:32:22,370
and I got hit by a car.
910
00:32:22,450 --> 00:32:24,676
Who the hell picks up cheese
in the middle of the street?
911
00:32:24,700 --> 00:32:26,346
I don't want to litter
so I picked up the cheese
912
00:32:26,370 --> 00:32:27,820
and I put it in the garbage can.
913
00:32:27,910 --> 00:32:30,160
No. You were gonna
pick up the cheese,
914
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:31,740
and put it on your pizza and eat it.
915
00:32:31,820 --> 00:32:33,926
Bullshit. I was not.
I was gonna throw it in the garbage.
916
00:32:33,950 --> 00:32:35,160
- You don't know.
- I know.
917
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:36,506
- What do you know? No, you don't!
- I know.
918
00:32:36,530 --> 00:32:38,160
And you, fuckstick, don't ever ask me
919
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:40,386
to man any post for you again,
'cause I'm not doin' it!
920
00:32:40,410 --> 00:32:42,530
Just consider me
in sweatpants all the time.
921
00:32:42,620 --> 00:32:44,950
Fuck that job.
I quit that shit already.
922
00:32:45,030 --> 00:32:48,030
- Wow. That was fast.
- Fuck, yeah. I'm in and out.
923
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:49,950
All right, I gotta go text Becky now
924
00:32:50,030 --> 00:32:51,796
and tell her I missed my flight
'cause of you two assholes,
925
00:32:51,820 --> 00:32:53,256
and tell her I'll be on
the first flight out to Denver
926
00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:54,796
tomorrow morning.
Actually, second flight.
927
00:32:54,820 --> 00:32:56,240
Why second flight?
928
00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:57,870
First class.
929
00:32:57,950 --> 00:32:59,450
Yeah.
930
00:33:00,070 --> 00:33:03,030
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
931
00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:05,370
Oh, my God. What?
932
00:33:05,450 --> 00:33:07,280
Oh, my... Larry!
933
00:33:07,370 --> 00:33:08,780
Larry!
934
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:11,870
Larry!
935
00:33:11,950 --> 00:33:13,570
CHERYL: Oh, look.
936
00:33:13,660 --> 00:33:14,700
Latte Larry's.
937
00:33:14,780 --> 00:33:16,200
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Spite store.
938
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:17,386
- I heard about this.
- Yeah.
939
00:33:17,410 --> 00:33:18,990
- This must be, uh...
- Mocha Joe's.
940
00:33:19,070 --> 00:33:20,070
There we go.
941
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:21,256
Okay, don't tell Larry we did this.
942
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:23,160
You got it.
943
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:26,280
I've never been
in this shop. I just...
944
00:33:26,370 --> 00:33:28,910
It's kind of a wobbly table,
you know?
945
00:33:28,990 --> 00:33:30,740
It's like my least favorite thing.
946
00:33:30,820 --> 00:33:32,136
- It's all right.
- MOCHA JOE: Here we go.
947
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:34,006
- Two cups of coffee.
- Hey. Thank you very much.
948
00:33:34,030 --> 00:33:36,296
Thank you so much for coming
in, Mr. Hamm. How's that scone?
949
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:37,950
Uh, not so much a scone.
950
00:33:38,410 --> 00:33:40,950
- No, it's a scone.
- Nah, this is like a muffin.
951
00:33:41,030 --> 00:33:43,410
I mean, I'm just saying,
like, there's kind of a specific
952
00:33:43,490 --> 00:33:45,596
quality that a scone has
that's sort of dry and crumbly.
953
00:33:45,620 --> 00:33:48,030
This is sweet. It's a little
more like a muffin than a scone.
954
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:49,990
What you are describing
is a stale scone.
955
00:33:50,070 --> 00:33:52,910
- That's a, that's fresh one.
- I'm not sure you know what a...
956
00:33:52,990 --> 00:33:54,240
definition of a scone is.
957
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:56,280
It looks good. I think, um...
958
00:33:56,370 --> 00:33:57,400
I'm just saying,
I'm saying it's a muffin.
959
00:33:57,424 --> 00:33:59,386
- Let's not worry about it.
- You want me to take it away?
960
00:33:59,410 --> 00:34:00,620
No, I'm gonna keep the muffin.
961
00:34:00,700 --> 00:34:02,136
- Thank you very much.
- You enjoy the scone.
962
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:03,796
- Yeah, I'll enjoy the muffin.
- CHERYL: I'm good.
963
00:34:03,820 --> 00:34:05,926
- Thank you, that's great. Thank you.
- Okay. Awesome.
964
00:34:05,950 --> 00:34:07,320
It doesn't matter.
965
00:34:07,410 --> 00:34:09,570
- Yeah. I'm just having a good time.
- Hmm? Doesn't it?
966
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:11,870
Um...
967
00:34:11,950 --> 00:34:14,030
Oh! So when I first met Mocha Joe...
968
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:16,280
Ugh. Oh, hold on.
969
00:34:16,370 --> 00:34:18,070
- No. No. No.
- What's wrong?
970
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:19,160
Mocha Joe!
971
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:21,370
- Mocha Joe!
- MOCHA JOE: Yeah.
972
00:34:22,990 --> 00:34:25,450
This coffee's... it's not hot.
973
00:34:25,530 --> 00:34:27,950
- It's plenty hot.
- No, it's, it's plenty not.
974
00:34:28,030 --> 00:34:30,820
- It's, it's, it is, it is at best luke.
- It's hot.
975
00:34:30,910 --> 00:34:32,756
- Oh, God.
- JON: I don't know what to tell you.
976
00:34:32,780 --> 00:34:34,346
This is not, this is
not a hot cup of coffee.
977
00:34:34,370 --> 00:34:35,966
- It's a hot cup of coffee.
- Coffee should be served hot.
978
00:34:35,990 --> 00:34:37,006
- This is not hot.
- It's hot.
979
00:34:37,030 --> 00:34:38,450
I beg to differ. This is not hot.
980
00:34:38,530 --> 00:34:40,136
And I tell you what.
Here's how I'll prove it to you.
981
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:41,346
- No, no, no, I don't know...
- Would I be able to do this?
982
00:34:41,370 --> 00:34:42,950
Would I be able to do this
983
00:34:43,030 --> 00:34:44,740
if this was a hot cup of coffee?
984
00:34:45,370 --> 00:34:47,240
- Oh. Oh.
- Okay.
985
00:34:48,030 --> 00:34:50,176
- Doesn't even hurt. Doesn't even hurt.
- I can't do this.
986
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:51,466
- This coffee's not hot.
- Jon Hamm...
987
00:34:51,490 --> 00:34:53,200
- ...you have turned into Larry.
- What...
988
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,280
- I'm done. I can't do this.
- Cheryl...
989
00:34:55,370 --> 00:34:56,280
CHERYL: God.
990
00:34:56,370 --> 00:34:57,910
- Cheryl!
- No.
991
00:34:57,990 --> 00:34:59,740
- Come on.
- Nope.
992
00:35:00,700 --> 00:35:03,120
See, now look. The table.
Look at this. All over the place.
993
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:04,716
- All right, you know what, Jon Hamm?
- All over the place.
994
00:35:04,740 --> 00:35:06,200
- Unbelievable.
- Get out.
995
00:35:06,570 --> 00:35:07,910
Happy to.
996
00:35:09,950 --> 00:35:11,780
And you're banned, Jon Hamm!
997
00:35:11,870 --> 00:35:13,870
JON: I don't care!
998
00:35:19,910 --> 00:35:21,160
Hey!
999
00:35:21,240 --> 00:35:23,320
I'm here!
1000
00:35:23,410 --> 00:35:26,120
Look. Look! Flowers, balloons.
1001
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:28,870
Larry David. What could be better?
1002
00:35:28,950 --> 00:35:31,636
- Take a smell of that. Yeah? Pretty good.
- Yep. Smells like flowers.
1003
00:35:31,660 --> 00:35:33,620
- Right? Where do you want 'em? Here?
- Yeah.
1004
00:35:33,700 --> 00:35:36,240
Ugh. I came as soon as I could.
1005
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:37,530
Did you?
1006
00:35:37,620 --> 00:35:38,700
Yes, I did.
1007
00:35:38,780 --> 00:35:41,450
'Cause it's, uh, been
a little over 24 hours
1008
00:35:41,530 --> 00:35:43,200
since I called you and you were gonna
1009
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:45,990
hop on the next flight.
So I just, I've been a little confused.
1010
00:35:46,070 --> 00:35:48,410
Big issue with the TSA last night.
1011
00:35:48,490 --> 00:35:51,256
- Ugh. I'm not even gonna bore you with it.
- Why would book a night flight?
1012
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:53,370
I called you at 10:00 o'clock
yesterday morning.
1013
00:35:53,450 --> 00:35:56,200
Um, you know, the... I couldn't
get a seat. There were no seats.
1014
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:59,070
There were no seats
on any of the planes?
1015
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:01,490
There were...
1016
00:36:01,570 --> 00:36:03,200
no seats...
1017
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:04,450
for me?
1018
00:36:04,530 --> 00:36:08,280
Are you talking about
first class seats?
1019
00:36:08,370 --> 00:36:11,280
Uh...
1020
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:14,870
- Yeah. Yeah.
- BECKY: Yeah?
1021
00:36:14,950 --> 00:36:16,240
I broke my leg!
1022
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:17,700
- I called you scared.
- Yeah.
1023
00:36:17,780 --> 00:36:18,870
- And hurt.
- Yeah. I know.
1024
00:36:18,950 --> 00:36:21,410
I'm not worth two hours
in a coach seat?
1025
00:36:21,490 --> 00:36:23,740
- You know. All right, I'm gonna be...
- What?
1026
00:36:23,820 --> 00:36:26,046
- I'll just be straight with you, okay?
- Yeah. That'd be great.
1027
00:36:26,070 --> 00:36:28,280
- I've been honest with you up until now.
- Yes.
1028
00:36:28,370 --> 00:36:30,820
- So I'm gonna be honest with you again.
- Go for it.
1029
00:36:32,370 --> 00:36:34,660
I have a bleeding rectum.
1030
00:36:35,950 --> 00:36:37,490
They're okay with you bleeding
1031
00:36:37,570 --> 00:36:39,320
out of your rectum in first class?
1032
00:36:39,410 --> 00:36:42,570
It's a more comfortable
place to bleed.
1033
00:36:42,660 --> 00:36:45,030
I think it's probably best
that you go.
1034
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:46,990
- What?
- Yeah. Leave the flowers,
1035
00:36:47,070 --> 00:36:49,320
but take the ugly balloon,
and just go.
1036
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:51,490
Okay.
1037
00:36:53,620 --> 00:36:56,660
- Hey. You gonna eat that Jell-O?
- I'm not gonna eat the Jell-O.
1038
00:36:57,570 --> 00:36:58,820
Hmm.
1039
00:37:00,030 --> 00:37:02,490
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
1040
00:37:02,812 --> 00:37:08,812
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
1041
00:37:18,990 --> 00:37:21,070
♪ ♪
1042
00:37:50,700 --> 00:37:52,780
♪ ♪
1043
00:38:13,990 --> 00:38:16,280
Ah! Mr. Takahashi!
How you hitting 'em, Mr. T?
1044
00:38:16,530 --> 00:38:18,410
- Not your concern.
- Ah.
1045
00:38:18,780 --> 00:38:20,870
♪ ("EL DESEO"
BY JANET SHERBOURNE PLAYS) ♪
1046
00:38:20,950 --> 00:38:23,410
LARRY DAVID: The color of a car
doesn't really matter to me,
1047
00:38:23,490 --> 00:38:26,280
because I don't really see it
when I'm inside the car.
1048
00:38:26,370 --> 00:38:27,700
It's like being inside your face.
1049
00:38:27,780 --> 00:38:28,926
I don't know what my face looks like.
1050
00:38:28,950 --> 00:38:30,870
- Who forgets their face?
- I'm in a capsule.
1051
00:38:30,950 --> 00:38:32,780
Everything's coming
from inside the capsule.
1052
00:38:33,070 --> 00:38:35,200
I haven't seen you take
one piece of red licorice yet.
1053
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:36,280
Only black for you?
1054
00:38:36,620 --> 00:38:39,030
Something wrong with a person
supporting black and shit?
1055
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:41,410
Black licorice, black jellybeans...
1056
00:38:41,490 --> 00:38:43,530
- You feel me?
- No, I feel you.
1057
00:38:43,620 --> 00:38:45,780
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
80181
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