All language subtitles for Avenue 5 - 01x08 - This Is Physically Hurting Me.GHOSTS.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian Download
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,523 --> 00:00:02,467 MAN: There he is. Bless you. 2 00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:04,844 - RYAN CLARK: Do you see it, Billy? - The pope I do not see. 3 00:00:04,879 --> 00:00:07,010 That right there... Is that an ear? 4 00:00:07,045 --> 00:00:08,629 No, it's a piece of shit. 5 00:00:08,837 --> 00:00:09,968 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 6 00:00:10,003 --> 00:00:11,054 For fuck's sake, get out of my way. 7 00:00:11,090 --> 00:00:12,719 - He's Harrison. - RYAN CLARK: Who is Harrison? 8 00:00:12,754 --> 00:00:14,180 Somebody that I'm not scared of. 9 00:00:14,216 --> 00:00:16,347 You remember Joe paired your hand print 10 00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:18,968 - with the emergency console? - You want me to dock the ship? 11 00:00:19,003 --> 00:00:21,218 You can learn because we have three-and-a-half years. 12 00:00:21,253 --> 00:00:22,260 Is that enough time? 13 00:00:22,295 --> 00:00:23,629 No. You can't do it. Who am I kidding? 14 00:00:24,003 --> 00:00:25,343 - RAV MULCAIR: We need Judd here. - How? 15 00:00:25,378 --> 00:00:26,660 We bring him back on the supply pod. 16 00:00:26,696 --> 00:00:27,779 - ALAN LEWIS: Rav! - MULCAIR: Not now! 17 00:00:27,815 --> 00:00:30,282 I'm not going anywhere until I've launched the shuttle. 18 00:00:30,503 --> 00:00:31,712 (SCREAMING) 19 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:34,828 If we eject the equivalent weight of 500 people... 20 00:00:34,864 --> 00:00:38,571 Pushing us in striking distance of Earth within six months. 21 00:00:38,607 --> 00:00:40,158 - (CHEERING) - Non-essential items 22 00:00:40,194 --> 00:00:42,218 to the hallway for jettisoning. 23 00:00:42,253 --> 00:00:43,635 You can follow my lead. 24 00:00:43,670 --> 00:00:44,720 I overpacked. 25 00:00:50,337 --> 00:00:54,462 ♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 26 00:00:54,973 --> 00:00:57,973 Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian www.addic7ed.com 27 00:01:00,454 --> 00:01:02,201 Thank you, you may join the line. 28 00:01:03,045 --> 00:01:05,051 So, what non-essential items 29 00:01:05,086 --> 00:01:06,677 will you be getting rid of today? 30 00:01:06,712 --> 00:01:08,260 I've got two pairs of shoes. 31 00:01:08,295 --> 00:01:11,968 Uh-uh. No. You cannot and you will not lose these. 32 00:01:12,003 --> 00:01:14,176 - Oh, thank you. - What do you know? 33 00:01:14,211 --> 00:01:17,510 Um, jettison the loafers, we keep the heels. 34 00:01:17,545 --> 00:01:19,093 - These are my only shoes. - Honey. 35 00:01:19,128 --> 00:01:22,135 Count yourself lucky. Karen tried to get rid of me. 36 00:01:22,170 --> 00:01:24,926 I mean, we have complementary slippers, so... 37 00:01:24,961 --> 00:01:26,594 - Thank you, join the line. - Thank you. 38 00:01:26,629 --> 00:01:27,718 - Thank you. - KAREN KELLY: Thank you. 39 00:01:28,253 --> 00:01:29,176 They didn't laugh. 40 00:01:29,211 --> 00:01:30,760 - At what, sweetie? - My joke. 41 00:01:30,795 --> 00:01:33,468 I was implying I was non-essential, 42 00:01:33,503 --> 00:01:34,968 but they took it seriously. 43 00:01:35,003 --> 00:01:38,372 It was insanely funny. I was just laughing on the inside. 44 00:01:39,128 --> 00:01:42,761 Hi, sweetie. What have you got for me today? Oh! 45 00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:45,895 Oh, my. This is a tough life lesson, right? 46 00:01:46,761 --> 00:01:48,050 RYAN CLARK: Sorry I'm late. 47 00:01:48,712 --> 00:01:51,635 Just been depositing ten kilos of emotional baggage 48 00:01:51,670 --> 00:01:53,618 with Karen, the Empress of the Jetsam. 49 00:01:53,654 --> 00:01:56,135 BILLIE MCEVOY: If you're late when it comes to flying this thing for real, 50 00:01:56,170 --> 00:01:57,337 we're all gonna die. 51 00:01:58,170 --> 00:01:59,302 - Okay. - All right. 52 00:01:59,337 --> 00:02:01,844 So, let's just get you settled, and... 53 00:02:01,879 --> 00:02:03,135 'Kay, no, hold on. 54 00:02:03,170 --> 00:02:05,368 Can you... Could you... just give me a little bit of space? 55 00:02:06,003 --> 00:02:07,677 Feels like I'm trying to urinate 56 00:02:07,712 --> 00:02:09,343 in front of a war crimes tribunal. 57 00:02:09,378 --> 00:02:11,302 - What an image. Okay. - RYAN: Thank you very much. 58 00:02:11,337 --> 00:02:13,427 - Thank you. - Guys, just give him some room. 59 00:02:13,462 --> 00:02:17,176 - Okay, so... - Yeah. Can I adjust the seat? 60 00:02:17,211 --> 00:02:18,378 No, the seat is... 61 00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:22,630 - That's too high. - Yeah. So, can... 62 00:02:23,545 --> 00:02:25,135 That's probably too low. 63 00:02:25,170 --> 00:02:26,760 Yeah. Um... Okay... Can you just leave 64 00:02:26,795 --> 00:02:28,677 - leave the fucking seat... - Fucking seat alone. Right. 65 00:02:28,712 --> 00:02:29,926 Yeah, leave that alone. 66 00:02:29,961 --> 00:02:31,844 Okay, let's begin. 67 00:02:31,879 --> 00:02:34,218 - Starting the engine. - Wait, wait! No! 68 00:02:34,253 --> 00:02:36,635 Because the laterals are still engaged. So... 69 00:02:36,670 --> 00:02:38,176 Stopping the engine 70 00:02:38,211 --> 00:02:41,385 and disengaging the laterals, whatever they are. 71 00:02:41,420 --> 00:02:42,510 How do I do that? 72 00:02:42,545 --> 00:02:44,260 - Come on. Come on, man. - (SHUSHING) No. 73 00:02:44,295 --> 00:02:46,802 - This is physically hurting me. - Just give him a second, he's working it out. 74 00:02:46,837 --> 00:02:48,449 - This is his process. - RYAN: This is... This is... 75 00:02:48,485 --> 00:02:51,076 Why didn't they just have a button that says "disengage..." 76 00:02:51,112 --> 00:02:52,385 Oh, look, they have... look! 77 00:02:52,420 --> 00:02:54,427 - Yeah. - Yeah. Can I press it? 78 00:02:54,707 --> 00:02:56,552 At this point, I'm beginning to wonder. 79 00:02:56,587 --> 00:02:58,385 Oh, wait. Yay. You can. 80 00:02:58,420 --> 00:02:59,885 Uh, now I start the engine. 81 00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:02,552 Uh, no, because you've got to clear the filters, 82 00:03:02,587 --> 00:03:03,677 which you do... 83 00:03:03,712 --> 00:03:06,712 - before you ignite... - After I ignite the Eng... 84 00:03:07,378 --> 00:03:08,468 (GROANS) 85 00:03:08,503 --> 00:03:09,995 Is that a good explosion? 86 00:03:10,271 --> 00:03:12,403 Well, we were in it. 87 00:03:12,879 --> 00:03:16,468 KAREN: Each item, ask yourself, "Would I exchange that trinket 88 00:03:16,503 --> 00:03:17,818 for a human life?" 89 00:03:17,854 --> 00:03:21,385 Because basically, everything we own right now, blood diamonds. 90 00:03:21,420 --> 00:03:23,051 Hey, how 'bout this? 91 00:03:23,086 --> 00:03:25,086 It's like an estate sale, and we're not even dead. 92 00:03:25,795 --> 00:03:27,385 I'm doing my part. (CHUCKLES) 93 00:03:27,420 --> 00:03:28,385 - Hey, Fudd! - Fuck. 94 00:03:28,420 --> 00:03:29,968 Have a look at these winners. 95 00:03:30,003 --> 00:03:31,677 You know, these are more valuable to me 96 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:34,510 than my previous and current wives combined. 97 00:03:34,545 --> 00:03:35,635 - Oh yeah? - Mm-hmm. 98 00:03:35,670 --> 00:03:38,926 Well, I'm more about personal responsibility, 99 00:03:38,961 --> 00:03:41,427 which is why I'm donating a Beatle skull. 100 00:03:41,462 --> 00:03:43,677 Paul. No, wait, George. 101 00:03:43,712 --> 00:03:46,629 Smaller cranium, protruding mandible. 102 00:03:47,545 --> 00:03:48,587 Oh. 103 00:03:49,163 --> 00:03:50,175 Well... 104 00:03:50,211 --> 00:03:51,885 (WOMAN GASPS) 105 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:53,427 Something in the way he moves. 106 00:03:53,462 --> 00:03:55,552 Hmm. What are your plans for your skull when you die? 107 00:03:55,587 --> 00:03:56,968 I would love to drink out of that. 108 00:03:57,003 --> 00:03:58,926 You threatening my skull? 109 00:03:58,961 --> 00:04:00,635 Is he threatening to drink out of my skull? 110 00:04:00,670 --> 00:04:02,343 Why would you let him talk to me like that? 111 00:04:02,378 --> 00:04:03,677 I'll never let it happen again. 112 00:04:03,712 --> 00:04:06,343 You know, I can't wait to see you led away in shackles, 113 00:04:06,378 --> 00:04:08,885 like the leisure industry huckster you are. 114 00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:10,754 Good luck jettisoning those babies. 115 00:04:11,295 --> 00:04:13,010 Okay, so concentrate. 116 00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:15,135 - Right hand, left foot. - Right hand, left... 117 00:04:15,170 --> 00:04:18,385 - Left hand, left foot. Ignite... - ...foot. Left hand, left... 118 00:04:18,420 --> 00:04:20,968 - ...and throttle up for downward motion. - Oh, what is this? 119 00:04:21,003 --> 00:04:23,260 - Right hand, right foot. - Fucking country dancing? 120 00:04:23,295 --> 00:04:25,635 - Okay, come here! Let me... - Just let go, all right? 121 00:04:25,670 --> 00:04:27,844 I can do this. I'm not in a care home. 122 00:04:27,879 --> 00:04:31,093 Okay. I want you to increase the thrust. 123 00:04:31,128 --> 00:04:33,093 Ease up. Ease up. 124 00:04:33,128 --> 00:04:34,793 - Ease up! Ease up! - Is...? Is that...? 125 00:04:35,128 --> 00:04:38,051 Hey, little man. Here's what we're gonna do. 126 00:04:38,086 --> 00:04:40,218 You're gonna thank him for his service, 127 00:04:40,253 --> 00:04:41,961 and then send him to his death. 128 00:04:42,712 --> 00:04:43,702 Yes! 129 00:04:44,337 --> 00:04:47,218 Hey, Matt. You know what? Screw Harrison. 130 00:04:47,253 --> 00:04:48,760 Anyway, stuff's just stuff. 131 00:04:48,795 --> 00:04:51,010 What's more important is "people." 132 00:04:51,045 --> 00:04:52,302 Sir, you're doing it again. 133 00:04:52,337 --> 00:04:54,010 You're air quoting around "people." 134 00:04:54,045 --> 00:04:56,099 Hmm? Look, hypothetically, 135 00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:58,760 if I were to just disappear, 136 00:04:58,795 --> 00:05:00,885 she wouldn't know what to do with herself. 137 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:04,051 She'd be a fucking train wreck. An absolute mess. 138 00:05:04,086 --> 00:05:05,385 You can still see me, right? 139 00:05:05,420 --> 00:05:07,218 I'm non-hypothetically right here. 140 00:05:07,253 --> 00:05:10,494 So I need you to promise me to work with her, Matt, 141 00:05:10,795 --> 00:05:12,552 in the event of my departure. 142 00:05:12,587 --> 00:05:15,807 - Oh, I get it. You're diseased. - HERMAN JUDD: No. 143 00:05:15,843 --> 00:05:18,218 Um... (WHISPERING) A shuttle is coming to Avenue 5, 144 00:05:18,253 --> 00:05:21,135 and they only have room for one passenger to return to Earth. 145 00:05:21,170 --> 00:05:24,926 (WHISPERING) I'm going. It's, uh... the, um... 146 00:05:24,961 --> 00:05:27,302 - Ultimate sacrifice. - Ultimate sacrifice. 147 00:05:27,337 --> 00:05:28,760 I'm leaving so that 148 00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:31,594 everyone else on the ship has a chance. 149 00:05:31,629 --> 00:05:34,135 Are you sure you're comfortable leaving us 150 00:05:34,170 --> 00:05:36,135 in the incapable hands of a captain 151 00:05:36,171 --> 00:05:38,041 who has a serious addiction problem? 152 00:05:38,077 --> 00:05:39,093 (NORMAL VOICE) What? Addiction? 153 00:05:39,128 --> 00:05:41,552 - He is slamming sedatives. - What? 154 00:05:41,587 --> 00:05:43,135 And who knows what else? 155 00:05:43,170 --> 00:05:46,010 Hypnotics, opiates, floaters, 156 00:05:46,045 --> 00:05:48,051 - whompers, daddy dust. - Oh no. 157 00:05:48,086 --> 00:05:49,427 - MATT SPENCER: Could be. - No. No! 158 00:05:49,462 --> 00:05:52,385 Not with a J on his uniform, he's not. (SHOUTS) Iris! 159 00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:53,510 - I'm right here. - Oh. 160 00:05:54,218 --> 00:05:55,218 - (EXPLOSION ON SCREEN) - Oh, shitty biscuits! 161 00:05:55,254 --> 00:05:56,010 (BILLIE GROANS) 162 00:05:56,045 --> 00:05:58,594 - CYRUS: That's a 100 dead. 500 dead. Seven hund... - (RYAN GROANS) 163 00:05:58,629 --> 00:06:00,468 - Two thousand dead, 25... - BILLIE: Just keep going... 164 00:06:00,503 --> 00:06:02,427 - That wasn't right. Oh! Damn it. - CYRUS: Three thousand! Three thousand, three Th... 165 00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:05,093 - Four thousand! Five thousand. - God, what are those? Are those body parts? 166 00:06:05,128 --> 00:06:07,552 - Um... - Why would you simulate body parts? 167 00:06:07,587 --> 00:06:10,468 - (BILLIE GROANS) - (AMERICAN ACCENT) And that, Billie, is... 168 00:06:10,503 --> 00:06:12,968 how you crash, okay? 169 00:06:13,003 --> 00:06:14,594 So let's try and remember that. 170 00:06:14,629 --> 00:06:17,968 It's right hand, left foot, left hand, left foot. 171 00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:19,468 Okay? Gorgeous. 172 00:06:19,503 --> 00:06:21,552 She's a little, uh, a little slow. 173 00:06:21,587 --> 00:06:23,302 (SCOFFS) That's the first time you got it right. 174 00:06:23,337 --> 00:06:24,635 (QUIETLY) I was just making it up. 175 00:06:24,670 --> 00:06:26,260 So, what do you guys, um... 176 00:06:26,295 --> 00:06:28,135 - Yeah, how can we help you? - What do you guys need? 177 00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:30,760 Uh, we thought that Tabasco storage was in here. 178 00:06:30,795 --> 00:06:31,802 Well, it's not. 179 00:06:31,837 --> 00:06:34,093 Well, I'm kinda having a Bloody Mary emergency. 180 00:06:34,128 --> 00:06:36,051 Yeah. You guys know Bloody Mary? 181 00:06:36,086 --> 00:06:37,510 It's an old drink named after this woman 182 00:06:37,545 --> 00:06:39,594 who liked to set Protestants on fire. 183 00:06:39,629 --> 00:06:41,985 It's delish, and we need Tabasco for it. 184 00:06:42,211 --> 00:06:43,587 Huh. I like this. 185 00:06:44,060 --> 00:06:45,328 Shabby chic. 186 00:06:46,128 --> 00:06:49,051 (CHUCKLES) That's funny. It's mean, though. 187 00:06:49,086 --> 00:06:50,302 Yeah, what goes on here? 188 00:06:50,337 --> 00:06:52,427 There's a lot of tech for a locker room. 189 00:06:52,462 --> 00:06:54,051 (STAMMERING) But it is just that. 190 00:06:54,086 --> 00:06:57,594 It's just a u... storage unit cum clubhouse. 191 00:06:57,629 --> 00:06:58,760 Cum clubhouse? 192 00:06:58,795 --> 00:07:00,594 - We just... - We... We... We... 193 00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:01,885 - ...hang out. - Hang out. 194 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:03,635 - She wants us to leave, Spike. - SPIKE MARTIN: Oh, okay. 195 00:07:03,670 --> 00:07:06,468 Yeah, they probably got some freaky roleplay going on. 196 00:07:06,503 --> 00:07:08,343 I will get you that Bloody Mary. 197 00:07:08,378 --> 00:07:10,369 I swear this on the blood of Mary. 198 00:07:11,378 --> 00:07:13,635 RAV MULCAIR: (GASPING) Oh, I'm gonna die! Oh, shit! 199 00:07:13,670 --> 00:07:14,802 Oh, hairy balls. 200 00:07:14,837 --> 00:07:19,837 Exiting Earth's atmosphere in three, two, one... 201 00:07:21,587 --> 00:07:24,635 (BREATHING RAPIDLY) 202 00:07:24,670 --> 00:07:26,110 There. Feeling better? 203 00:07:26,462 --> 00:07:27,719 Stopped squeaking? 204 00:07:27,754 --> 00:07:30,010 - (CHUCKLES) - (CHUCKLES) Good. 205 00:07:30,045 --> 00:07:33,719 Right, I'm just gonna listen to this true crime podcast 206 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,552 about that Greta Gerwig thing. 207 00:07:35,587 --> 00:07:37,343 Oh yeah, everyone's got a theory about that. 208 00:07:37,378 --> 00:07:38,545 (CHUCKLES) Yeah. 209 00:07:39,170 --> 00:07:41,503 Mmm... So... 210 00:07:42,961 --> 00:07:45,378 - Do you do these trips often? - (SIGHS) 211 00:07:48,045 --> 00:07:50,176 Well, I'm a pilot, so... 212 00:07:50,211 --> 00:07:52,010 - yeah. - (LAUGHS) Yeah. 213 00:07:52,045 --> 00:07:54,343 Fancy a job swap? You can run Mission Control. 214 00:07:54,378 --> 00:07:57,670 Oh, God no. (LAUGHING) Jesus Christ. 215 00:07:59,170 --> 00:08:00,837 It's a shit show. 216 00:08:03,754 --> 00:08:06,468 - Not if I see you first. - WOMAN: Okay, Captain. 217 00:08:06,503 --> 00:08:08,844 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Oh, great. Am I about to get whacked? 218 00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:10,093 This is an intervention. 219 00:08:10,128 --> 00:08:12,343 Oh, exciting. Who's getting intervented? 220 00:08:12,378 --> 00:08:14,019 I know about the drugs, Ryan. 221 00:08:14,754 --> 00:08:16,468 - The drugs? - Don't be a junkie. 222 00:08:16,503 --> 00:08:18,620 Don't destroy that perfect skin. 223 00:08:19,420 --> 00:08:22,594 You think I... The sedatives were for you! 224 00:08:22,629 --> 00:08:24,594 (CHUCKLING) I don't need sedatives. 225 00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:27,510 There is no one on this ship who needs sedatives more. 226 00:08:27,545 --> 00:08:29,343 You're like a whole zoo escaped. 227 00:08:29,378 --> 00:08:31,594 I was trying to give everyone a break. 228 00:08:31,629 --> 00:08:33,926 - (SHOUTS) Iris! - I'm right here. 229 00:08:33,961 --> 00:08:36,051 This is... This is a public area situation. 230 00:08:36,086 --> 00:08:37,260 He tried... 231 00:08:37,295 --> 00:08:39,135 to mutiny against me. 232 00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:40,522 She was in on it! 233 00:08:41,253 --> 00:08:43,968 That is so absurd, I don't even need to deny it. 234 00:08:44,003 --> 00:08:47,010 Oh, Iris, you are presently shitting me. 235 00:08:47,045 --> 00:08:49,218 If it's all the same, Iris, I'd like to hear you deny it. 236 00:08:49,253 --> 00:08:51,260 - Denied. - There you go. Perfect. See? 237 00:08:51,295 --> 00:08:54,051 I mean, look at him. Junkie fuck. 238 00:08:54,086 --> 00:08:56,385 He'd slash his nana's throat for half an Advil. 239 00:08:56,420 --> 00:08:58,343 Okay, well, if we're done here, 240 00:08:58,378 --> 00:08:59,510 I have an appointment on the bridge, 241 00:08:59,545 --> 00:09:01,885 exchanging synthetic bollocks with the crew. 242 00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:04,872 No! I forbid it! You're fired! 243 00:09:05,929 --> 00:09:07,366 (JUDD GRUNTS) 244 00:09:07,402 --> 00:09:08,260 What? 245 00:09:08,295 --> 00:09:09,626 - Sir. - Got that? 246 00:09:10,261 --> 00:09:12,218 You are stood down from your position 247 00:09:12,253 --> 00:09:14,427 - pending immediate court-martial. - Am I? 248 00:09:14,462 --> 00:09:15,885 Actually, we don't have the facility... 249 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:17,302 - Do we have a brig? - You're just upset 250 00:09:17,337 --> 00:09:19,260 - about the way Harrison spoke to you. - I wanna see you rot 251 00:09:19,295 --> 00:09:20,926 - in space prison. - Space prison? 252 00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,510 Let's climb down from a place of anger. 253 00:09:22,545 --> 00:09:25,093 Oh, I don't get angry. I have two emotions. 254 00:09:25,128 --> 00:09:27,260 - Yeah? - Elation and genius. 255 00:09:27,295 --> 00:09:29,885 - You are de-captained. - What are you doing? No, no, no! 256 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:31,260 No, no. No, let... 257 00:09:31,295 --> 00:09:32,926 - IRIS: Okay... Whoa... - RYAN: Right, that is it! 258 00:09:32,961 --> 00:09:34,385 I've had enough. All right? 259 00:09:34,420 --> 00:09:38,260 I am not bowing and scraping to a demented child any longer! 260 00:09:38,295 --> 00:09:40,635 She's not a child. She's a grown woman! 261 00:09:40,670 --> 00:09:41,968 - What? - I'm talking about you! 262 00:09:42,003 --> 00:09:43,176 Oh, well, fuck you then! 263 00:09:43,211 --> 00:09:45,302 No more tugging my forelock! 264 00:09:45,337 --> 00:09:47,594 In fact, you can fucking have my forelock. 265 00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:49,135 (ALL GASP) 266 00:09:49,170 --> 00:09:50,968 Oh my god! He's taking his head off! 267 00:09:51,003 --> 00:09:52,802 JUDD: Oh, what are you doing? That's disgusting! 268 00:09:52,837 --> 00:09:54,510 WOMAN: Oh my god, he's taking off his head! 269 00:09:54,545 --> 00:09:56,885 - Is he removing a microchip? - TERI: Is he an android? 270 00:09:56,920 --> 00:10:00,176 Is that a hairpiece? You're British and bald? 271 00:10:00,211 --> 00:10:02,093 Balding! Balding! 272 00:10:02,128 --> 00:10:03,468 His lovely, lovely hair! 273 00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:06,968 Re-hair yourself! Please! I'll re-captain you! 274 00:10:07,003 --> 00:10:08,468 Actually, that's an order! 275 00:10:08,503 --> 00:10:10,302 - Put that thing back on! - No. No. You can't give me orders anymore. 276 00:10:10,337 --> 00:10:11,510 - JUDD: What? - 'Cause I'm a civilian. 277 00:10:11,545 --> 00:10:13,510 All right, coming through, coming through! 278 00:10:13,545 --> 00:10:16,112 Chief petty passenger. I'm one of you now. 279 00:10:16,519 --> 00:10:18,802 Oh, this wall, seems awfully curvy. 280 00:10:18,837 --> 00:10:21,719 Why have they done that? One star, I think. 281 00:10:21,754 --> 00:10:23,844 (SHOUTING) Fuck you, Captain Opioid! 282 00:10:24,179 --> 00:10:28,419 I'm gonna take this filthy hair to clean my shower... 283 00:10:28,754 --> 00:10:31,051 and my own balls! 284 00:10:31,086 --> 00:10:32,920 I've got a loofah! 285 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:34,743 (NORMAL VOICE) Hey! 286 00:10:35,378 --> 00:10:37,587 I want this ship re-captained. 287 00:10:38,545 --> 00:10:40,837 SPIKE: Nitro level is good. 288 00:10:42,961 --> 00:10:44,343 Looking real good, ladies. 289 00:10:44,378 --> 00:10:46,417 Beautiful orbit. Okay. 290 00:10:46,795 --> 00:10:49,670 Okay, radial axis parameters? 291 00:10:51,253 --> 00:10:52,343 MADS: Uh... 292 00:10:52,378 --> 00:10:56,343 Modular... nomination units scanning all fields? 293 00:10:56,378 --> 00:11:00,280 Good. It's not what I asked, but switch it to manual, please. 294 00:11:00,670 --> 00:11:01,802 Oh, shit. Really? 295 00:11:01,837 --> 00:11:03,468 SPIKE: Oh yeah. I can't wait. 296 00:11:03,503 --> 00:11:04,510 I got this. 297 00:11:04,545 --> 00:11:05,510 Yeah. 298 00:11:05,545 --> 00:11:06,885 SPIKE: Now, let's see if these old fingers 299 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:08,837 can still tickle a big gal. 300 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:14,005 Well, that's weird. It's not responding. 301 00:11:14,295 --> 00:11:17,635 Oh, none of it responds. Look, if I just... 302 00:11:17,670 --> 00:11:19,051 (WHISPERING) Just sort of improv it. 303 00:11:19,086 --> 00:11:22,260 Okay, if this is hazing 'cause it's my first day, 304 00:11:22,295 --> 00:11:23,343 I don't appreciate it. 305 00:11:23,378 --> 00:11:25,343 Oh, no, no, it's great. It's just... 306 00:11:25,378 --> 00:11:26,898 you know, mime it a bit. 307 00:11:27,337 --> 00:11:30,677 Okay, I'm just gonna go to comms. 308 00:11:30,712 --> 00:11:31,719 (INAUDIBLE) 309 00:11:31,754 --> 00:11:32,879 Fuck's sake. 310 00:11:34,420 --> 00:11:35,844 Is that junk for my collection? 311 00:11:35,879 --> 00:11:37,677 Oh, well, firstly, this is not junk, 312 00:11:37,712 --> 00:11:40,093 and secondly, it's not really your collection. 313 00:11:40,128 --> 00:11:43,010 Well, I've been put in charge of it, so... 314 00:11:43,045 --> 00:11:44,885 Well, I don't know who put you in charge of it, 315 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,844 but this was my idea. I mean, you should be using this stuff 316 00:11:47,879 --> 00:11:49,552 to build a statue of me. 317 00:11:49,587 --> 00:11:53,802 Wow. Maybe you could donate your incredibly big head. 318 00:11:53,837 --> 00:11:55,844 Wow. I was only joking. 319 00:11:55,879 --> 00:11:57,552 She's not really getting jokes today. 320 00:11:57,587 --> 00:11:59,385 - Frank. - JADEN: Hi, question. 321 00:11:59,420 --> 00:12:01,594 If we really are moving at thousands of miles an hour, 322 00:12:01,629 --> 00:12:02,926 how come it doesn't feel like it? 323 00:12:02,961 --> 00:12:05,719 I don't have time to explain all of physics to you. 324 00:12:05,754 --> 00:12:08,051 Okay, you don't have to explain all of physics to me, 325 00:12:08,086 --> 00:12:11,218 I work in VFX. It stands for visual effects? 326 00:12:11,253 --> 00:12:14,176 Oh. Well, I would like to see a visual effect of you 327 00:12:14,211 --> 00:12:16,760 - not talking to me. - Okay, rude. 328 00:12:16,795 --> 00:12:19,051 Billie is only 30 percent flesh and blood. 329 00:12:19,086 --> 00:12:21,260 The rest is... I don't know. Bone? 330 00:12:21,295 --> 00:12:23,260 And I'm still waiting on your ten kilos. 331 00:12:23,295 --> 00:12:24,635 You want a donation? 332 00:12:24,670 --> 00:12:26,260 I don't want this. 333 00:12:26,295 --> 00:12:29,510 Well. Why don't you take one of these stupid heavy things... 334 00:12:29,545 --> 00:12:31,968 Oh. It's actually quite light. 335 00:12:32,003 --> 00:12:34,719 There are a lot of them, and they're completely useless, 336 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:39,003 so there is your donation, and you're welcome. 337 00:12:39,879 --> 00:12:42,552 - That came off pretty easy. - Yeah. 338 00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:45,176 - Put it back, Frank. - Feel like a movie set. 339 00:12:45,211 --> 00:12:46,635 - MIKE: Yeah. - JADEN: You know, I should know. 340 00:12:46,670 --> 00:12:48,719 (CHUCKLES) I... I actually... I'm around movie sets a lot. 341 00:12:48,754 --> 00:12:51,462 I work in VFX. Stands for visual effects. 342 00:12:55,629 --> 00:12:56,670 (RAV CLEARS THROAT) 343 00:12:57,961 --> 00:12:59,926 I mean, things might blow over, though. 344 00:12:59,961 --> 00:13:02,135 You know, while you're up on, uh, Avenue 5. 345 00:13:02,170 --> 00:13:03,844 (SIGHS) Yeah, well, I think it'll take 346 00:13:03,879 --> 00:13:06,677 more than a couple of days to blow over. 347 00:13:06,712 --> 00:13:09,135 Well, you're gonna be more than a couple of days. 348 00:13:09,170 --> 00:13:12,302 (CHUCKLES) Sorry, sorry. I'm not staying on Avenue 5. 349 00:13:12,337 --> 00:13:15,802 I'm grabbing Mr. Judd, and then we are going back. 350 00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:18,385 Yeah... we're going back. 351 00:13:18,420 --> 00:13:20,677 Yes, we're going back. 352 00:13:20,712 --> 00:13:22,051 Yeah, but my "we're" or your "we're"? 353 00:13:22,086 --> 00:13:23,594 I feel like we're at crossed "we'res." 354 00:13:23,629 --> 00:13:25,802 We are... Look, you, me, and Mr. Judd. 355 00:13:25,837 --> 00:13:27,802 We are all going back to Earth. 356 00:13:27,837 --> 00:13:30,010 Not if Mr. Judd is on this shuttle, you're not. 357 00:13:30,045 --> 00:13:32,051 Well, can you give me one good reason why not? 358 00:13:32,086 --> 00:13:34,754 I can give you two. Count the seats. 359 00:13:36,712 --> 00:13:37,968 WOMAN: (IN FOREIGN ACCENT) Hurry up. 360 00:13:38,003 --> 00:13:39,677 - Hesitation gives me headache. - All right, sorry, 361 00:13:39,712 --> 00:13:40,926 I'm a buffet virgin. 362 00:13:40,961 --> 00:13:42,302 DEVON: Hey, grandpa, can you hurry up? 363 00:13:42,337 --> 00:13:44,635 - Trying to get to the bacon. - I'm getting gang buffeted. 364 00:13:44,670 --> 00:13:47,253 (WOMAN SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 365 00:13:52,045 --> 00:13:53,635 (SCANNER BUZZES) 366 00:13:53,670 --> 00:13:55,176 What are you doing? 367 00:13:55,211 --> 00:13:56,552 Uh, well, I'm... I'm just... 368 00:13:56,587 --> 00:13:58,635 You just swipe it like this. It's really not hard, you know? 369 00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:00,629 - Okay. All right. Sorry. - DEVON: Jesus. 370 00:14:01,754 --> 00:14:02,802 Problem paying? 371 00:14:02,837 --> 00:14:05,176 Uh, yes. I don't know why. It just seems to... 372 00:14:05,211 --> 00:14:07,427 It doesn't come up. Uh... Is it... Is it okay 373 00:14:07,462 --> 00:14:09,010 - if I take this and just... - Sorry, sir. 374 00:14:09,045 --> 00:14:10,218 I can't allow you to do that. 375 00:14:10,253 --> 00:14:12,510 You're down as a passenger now. 376 00:14:12,545 --> 00:14:15,135 - So... just... - I'm... What? I'm not... 377 00:14:15,170 --> 00:14:16,635 Oh, I see what he's done. 378 00:14:16,670 --> 00:14:19,051 So, what do I do? I just eat the furniture? 379 00:14:19,086 --> 00:14:20,468 Hey. Everything okay? 380 00:14:20,503 --> 00:14:23,218 He doesn't have any Judd Bucks in his account. 381 00:14:23,253 --> 00:14:24,385 Matt, tell him, will you? 382 00:14:24,420 --> 00:14:26,253 - I'm gonna take care of this. - Okay. 383 00:14:26,712 --> 00:14:28,260 Come here. 384 00:14:28,295 --> 00:14:30,385 I'm probably gonna have to call security on you, 385 00:14:30,420 --> 00:14:32,510 but I promise I'll give you a big head start. 386 00:14:32,545 --> 00:14:34,885 And don't try to hide in your cabin. 387 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:36,719 'Cause Judd gave it to Spike. 388 00:14:36,754 --> 00:14:38,879 Right. So that's his game, is it? 389 00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:41,760 Okay, well, I've got another game 390 00:14:41,795 --> 00:14:43,337 that I'm playing. It's called... 391 00:14:46,462 --> 00:14:48,343 Yeah, it's okay. Names are hard. 392 00:14:48,378 --> 00:14:50,161 No, I've got it. It's called... 393 00:14:50,930 --> 00:14:55,054 It's called "Fuck You in the Stupid Fucking Face 394 00:14:55,961 --> 00:14:58,343 and I Hope Your Spaceship Fucking Crashes. 395 00:14:58,378 --> 00:15:00,093 - Fuck You" is what it's called. - Yeah. 396 00:15:00,128 --> 00:15:01,587 That sounds like a good game. 397 00:15:02,378 --> 00:15:04,176 This has got to be 398 00:15:04,211 --> 00:15:06,260 the greatest yard sale of all time. 399 00:15:06,295 --> 00:15:10,385 Hello. Hello, thank you for your service. Yes. Yes. 400 00:15:10,420 --> 00:15:12,760 You know, this is how I made my first ten bucks. 401 00:15:12,795 --> 00:15:14,565 I thought you stole it from your dad. 402 00:15:15,045 --> 00:15:16,594 Yeah. Yeah, I know. I get confused. 403 00:15:16,629 --> 00:15:19,051 That's what happens when you write three autobiographies. 404 00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:20,677 - (WHISPERS) Don't worry, I got this. - Uh-oh. 405 00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:23,176 Oh, Fudd. I know. 406 00:15:23,211 --> 00:15:25,135 What do you know? Your own limitations? 407 00:15:25,170 --> 00:15:29,010 Oh, no. I know about the shuttle, small balls. 408 00:15:29,045 --> 00:15:30,302 There's no space on that shuttle. 409 00:15:30,337 --> 00:15:31,802 What shuttle? Fuck, shit. 410 00:15:31,837 --> 00:15:33,135 You should have said the second part 411 00:15:33,170 --> 00:15:34,135 and not the first part. 412 00:15:34,170 --> 00:15:35,552 When this is over, you'll be in prison, 413 00:15:35,587 --> 00:15:37,844 doing business via a phone stored up your own asshole 414 00:15:37,879 --> 00:15:40,260 whilst I'll be running my new space travel company, 415 00:15:40,295 --> 00:15:41,968 one that gets its passengers home 416 00:15:42,003 --> 00:15:44,218 before their kids die of old age. 417 00:15:44,253 --> 00:15:45,802 - (IN ENGLISH ACCENT) No, you arsehole. - What...? 418 00:15:45,837 --> 00:15:48,093 - You'll be making children... - What are you d...? 419 00:15:48,128 --> 00:15:50,010 ...and yanking on your knickerbocker 420 00:15:50,045 --> 00:15:51,802 - while it makes goof juice. - That... None... 421 00:15:51,837 --> 00:15:54,135 - None of that is English. - You know what I'll be doing? 422 00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:57,844 (NORMAL VOICE) I'll be back in my home rebuilding my empire. 423 00:15:57,879 --> 00:15:59,468 With what? Your own dung? 424 00:15:59,503 --> 00:16:01,594 No, not my dung. Idiot. 425 00:16:01,629 --> 00:16:03,343 Ooh, zing. 426 00:16:03,378 --> 00:16:06,093 You let me in on the shuttle, and I'll drop all my lawsuits against you. 427 00:16:06,128 --> 00:16:08,844 Back off, buddy, or you will feel my wrath. 428 00:16:08,879 --> 00:16:11,876 And I am fire. Literally fire. 429 00:16:12,211 --> 00:16:14,385 I will burn the jelly in your fat eyes, 430 00:16:14,420 --> 00:16:16,751 and use your tongue to wipe surfaces with. 431 00:16:17,203 --> 00:16:20,328 I want you both to know that I am not afraid of women. 432 00:16:21,086 --> 00:16:23,253 I simply now choose to walk away. 433 00:16:24,670 --> 00:16:28,010 - You mincing narcissist. - (QUIETLY) Iris. 434 00:16:28,045 --> 00:16:30,260 You've erased me. What am I supposed to do? 435 00:16:30,295 --> 00:16:32,594 What am I supposed to eat? Where am I supposed to sleep? 436 00:16:32,629 --> 00:16:34,677 I'm as mad as a fucking bear. 437 00:16:34,712 --> 00:16:36,760 Call security. There's a bald hobo threatening me. 438 00:16:36,795 --> 00:16:39,468 - IRIS: I just did. - Wow. They shaved Samson. 439 00:16:39,503 --> 00:16:41,176 I have more hair than him. 440 00:16:41,211 --> 00:16:43,343 Oh my god! What has happened to you? 441 00:16:43,378 --> 00:16:44,677 Did security do this to you? 442 00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:45,926 - I quit. - I fired him. 443 00:16:45,961 --> 00:16:48,218 So, you don't have to teach me how to bloody fly! 444 00:16:48,253 --> 00:16:49,635 - Why would he quit? - I fired him. 445 00:16:49,670 --> 00:16:51,885 - Why would you fire him? - Well, technically, he quit. 446 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,010 - You can't fly? - MIKE: You're British? 447 00:16:54,045 --> 00:16:56,419 Boom, and the fourth wall shatters. 448 00:16:56,754 --> 00:16:58,051 What else isn't real? 449 00:16:58,086 --> 00:16:59,594 I mean, he's out of his hair and makeup. 450 00:16:59,629 --> 00:17:02,135 He doesn't have his costume on. We're in a reality show. 451 00:17:02,170 --> 00:17:03,926 - (ALL MUTTERING) - MAN: I bet we're not even in space! 452 00:17:03,961 --> 00:17:06,635 Wow, you guys are stupid, even for rich people. 453 00:17:06,670 --> 00:17:09,135 Hey, hey. Don't talk to rich people like that. 454 00:17:09,170 --> 00:17:11,093 We could just walk out the airlock, huh? 455 00:17:11,128 --> 00:17:12,885 - Whoa, whoa! No, no, no! - BILLIE: No, no, no, no! 456 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:14,677 - Come on! Let's get outta here. - No, no, no, no, no! 457 00:17:14,712 --> 00:17:16,343 - You can't walk, okay? - No! No, no, no! No, no. 458 00:17:16,378 --> 00:17:18,051 You can't do that because you'll die. 459 00:17:18,086 --> 00:17:19,552 Okay, you're just saying that to keep us here 460 00:17:19,587 --> 00:17:21,885 - on your ridiculous space show. - What? 461 00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:23,218 Oh, great, the captain's here. 462 00:17:23,253 --> 00:17:26,302 I just found out something freaky about the bridge. 463 00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:30,051 Yes, that it is incredibly high tech and sophisticated... 464 00:17:30,086 --> 00:17:32,051 The crew is being prompted. 465 00:17:32,086 --> 00:17:34,218 Someone is telling them what to say. 466 00:17:34,253 --> 00:17:36,760 What? You mean the crew isn't real? 467 00:17:36,795 --> 00:17:38,427 Well, the captain's not even American. 468 00:17:38,462 --> 00:17:39,594 - He's British. - Yeah! 469 00:17:39,629 --> 00:17:43,594 Look, we all put on accents when we're in character. 470 00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:45,554 That's what actors do. 471 00:17:45,590 --> 00:17:48,594 Like this, for example, is me just being Sarah. 472 00:17:48,629 --> 00:17:50,795 But this is me being "Sarah." 473 00:17:53,086 --> 00:17:54,427 So, you are an actor? 474 00:17:54,462 --> 00:17:57,135 - Wait. You are? She is? - It sounded the same. 475 00:17:57,170 --> 00:17:59,510 No, no, it's very subtle. She's doing with her eyes. 476 00:17:59,545 --> 00:18:01,218 Yeah, I don't want to give the game away. 477 00:18:01,253 --> 00:18:03,510 Okay, so it is a game. Okay, let's go. 478 00:18:03,545 --> 00:18:06,552 No, no, no, no. Please, please, don't listen to her. 479 00:18:06,587 --> 00:18:08,968 She doesn't know anything. She's legally a simpleton. 480 00:18:09,003 --> 00:18:10,468 Billie, distract her. 481 00:18:10,503 --> 00:18:12,051 - Shine a torch at the ceiling or something. - SARAH: Why so rude? 482 00:18:12,086 --> 00:18:14,135 Wait a second, so are you an actor? 483 00:18:14,170 --> 00:18:16,218 Well, if you're noticing me acting, 484 00:18:16,253 --> 00:18:18,802 then I would say that actually, I'm not doing my job properly. 485 00:18:18,837 --> 00:18:20,385 Everything is fake. 486 00:18:20,420 --> 00:18:22,968 Guys, that's why they're making us throw out all of our belongings, okay? 487 00:18:23,003 --> 00:18:25,135 It's some sort of test or competition. 488 00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:27,218 I think she's one of their stooges. 489 00:18:27,253 --> 00:18:28,468 - Oh, really? - JADEN: Yeah. 490 00:18:28,503 --> 00:18:31,844 Would a stooge threaten to sock you in the T-I-T-S? 491 00:18:31,879 --> 00:18:33,135 (CROWD GASPS) 492 00:18:33,170 --> 00:18:34,635 We are still on Earth. 493 00:18:34,670 --> 00:18:36,135 These people are so dumb. 494 00:18:36,170 --> 00:18:38,802 I am just hanging out with pigs and dolphins when we get back. 495 00:18:38,837 --> 00:18:39,802 I get it, I get it. 496 00:18:39,837 --> 00:18:41,968 (SHOUTING) Everyone, we're still on Earth! 497 00:18:42,003 --> 00:18:45,302 No, everyone... Mia, stop! You are being hysterical. 498 00:18:45,337 --> 00:18:46,844 I'm so confused! 499 00:18:46,879 --> 00:18:48,468 Doug, you can suck on this! 500 00:18:48,503 --> 00:18:51,010 Our son! He's still waiting for us! 501 00:18:51,045 --> 00:18:53,594 - We can go home now! - We're already home! 502 00:18:53,629 --> 00:18:55,760 We can just walk out of the airlock! 503 00:18:55,795 --> 00:18:57,844 Get out of the way, ya fake fuck! 504 00:18:57,879 --> 00:19:00,010 - I'm getting off this ship! - (ALL SHOUTING) 505 00:19:00,045 --> 00:19:01,594 Any of you... No! 506 00:19:01,629 --> 00:19:03,545 (CROWD CLAMORING) 507 00:19:05,086 --> 00:19:06,170 (KAREN YELPS) 508 00:19:10,462 --> 00:19:12,218 Com tell me how this works! Make it work! 509 00:19:12,253 --> 00:19:14,635 Okay, I got it! You go get your boy. 510 00:19:14,670 --> 00:19:17,176 (YELLING) I cannot believe you are making me 511 00:19:17,211 --> 00:19:19,010 save your simple little lives! 512 00:19:19,045 --> 00:19:21,677 There is real space out there, and it's real cold. 513 00:19:21,712 --> 00:19:23,844 You go out there, you will freeze, 514 00:19:23,879 --> 00:19:26,176 - and you will die. - No, that is not true! 515 00:19:26,211 --> 00:19:28,427 Are you just gonna stand there? Do something! 516 00:19:28,462 --> 00:19:31,618 Oh, I see. So, just as these halfwits 517 00:19:31,654 --> 00:19:34,093 are dribbling down into quarterwits, I'm back. 518 00:19:34,128 --> 00:19:37,093 Oh, that's great. So, I get my room and I get food? 519 00:19:37,128 --> 00:19:38,920 Wh... Why do you have the captain's wig? 520 00:19:40,587 --> 00:19:42,105 'Cause I fancy him a bit. 521 00:19:43,045 --> 00:19:47,545 Oh. Is that... Is that character Sarah or you Sarah? 522 00:19:48,111 --> 00:19:49,823 Honestly, I don't know. 523 00:19:50,587 --> 00:19:52,802 Go! Go save my fucking ship. Please. 524 00:19:52,837 --> 00:19:55,719 I don't know why you think you're right and I am wrong. 525 00:19:55,754 --> 00:19:58,260 - Because I work in VFX. - BARBARA: That stands for visual effects. 526 00:19:58,295 --> 00:20:00,468 - MIKE: Visual effects. - I know what it fucking stands for! 527 00:20:00,503 --> 00:20:02,510 - MIA: Ah! - What do you mean, "Ah"? 528 00:20:02,545 --> 00:20:04,385 Okay, okay, okay! Listen! 529 00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:06,010 Listen, listen! 530 00:20:06,545 --> 00:20:08,552 I have also been out there, 531 00:20:08,587 --> 00:20:12,385 and let me tell you, it is real and it is horrible. 532 00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:13,844 - It's real? - Yes. 533 00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:15,760 - Like your hair is real? - (CROWD LAUGHS) 534 00:20:15,795 --> 00:20:18,427 MIKE: Fake captain, fake wig! 535 00:20:18,462 --> 00:20:20,302 Well, you know what? His beard is a different color 536 00:20:20,337 --> 00:20:21,926 than his hair. Maybe it's a wig! 537 00:20:21,961 --> 00:20:23,968 Ow! Iris! Iris! Iris! My hair hurts! 538 00:20:24,003 --> 00:20:25,926 - Why is she hurting my hair? - Get your grubby hands... 539 00:20:25,961 --> 00:20:27,677 I can't even touch his hair! 540 00:20:27,712 --> 00:20:29,260 They're your people. They're idiots. 541 00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:30,677 Speak idiot to them! 542 00:20:30,712 --> 00:20:33,176 Okay, listen, listen, everybody. 543 00:20:33,211 --> 00:20:35,385 You do not want to go out there. 544 00:20:35,420 --> 00:20:37,010 - Because if you do... - See?! 545 00:20:37,045 --> 00:20:39,594 - JADEN: Shit! - Signs fall off the wall. 546 00:20:39,629 --> 00:20:41,302 - It's like a set! - It's fake! 547 00:20:41,337 --> 00:20:44,760 W... Wait. No, no, it's not fake. It's just cheap. Cost effective. 548 00:20:44,795 --> 00:20:47,343 We are in a simulation! 549 00:20:47,378 --> 00:20:50,844 Oh, don't be as stupid as your face! 550 00:20:50,879 --> 00:20:52,552 BARBARA: Hey! He can't help his face! 551 00:20:52,587 --> 00:20:54,010 RYAN: Well, I mean... 552 00:20:54,045 --> 00:20:56,302 - MATT: I believe you! - (CROWD FALLS SILENT) 553 00:20:56,337 --> 00:20:57,635 We're in a simulation. 554 00:20:57,670 --> 00:20:59,719 No. Matt, Matt, this is not the time. 555 00:20:59,754 --> 00:21:04,302 But it is the universe that is the simulation, not the ship. 556 00:21:04,337 --> 00:21:05,635 WOMAN: Universe? 557 00:21:05,670 --> 00:21:08,968 The smallest subatomic particles we can see look like pixels. 558 00:21:09,003 --> 00:21:10,726 This is all a game. 559 00:21:10,961 --> 00:21:12,343 But it feels real, 560 00:21:12,378 --> 00:21:13,827 and if you go out there, 561 00:21:14,462 --> 00:21:16,837 you will die within the simulation. 562 00:21:18,712 --> 00:21:20,844 - Okay, that... That actually is pretty good. - BILLIE: Yeah. 563 00:21:20,879 --> 00:21:24,010 And the fact that you left your son in a coma back on Earth 564 00:21:24,045 --> 00:21:25,635 does not make you a bad person. 565 00:21:25,670 --> 00:21:27,585 But look, I mean, if you wanna go out... 566 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,127 you can go out. 567 00:21:29,462 --> 00:21:31,260 The code is five-three-three-five. 568 00:21:31,295 --> 00:21:32,968 - You can do it. - (CROWD CLAMORS) 569 00:21:33,003 --> 00:21:35,926 - RYAN: No, no, ah-ah-ah... - I mean, free will, right? 570 00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:38,760 But I think... (CHUCKLES) ...in your heart, 571 00:21:38,795 --> 00:21:41,545 you're 99 percent sure that that's wrong. 572 00:21:42,879 --> 00:21:44,070 MIA: I'm gonna do it. 573 00:21:44,879 --> 00:21:47,552 Something has felt fucked up on this ship from the start. 574 00:21:47,587 --> 00:21:49,051 Mia! No! 575 00:21:49,086 --> 00:21:50,926 - No, don't, don't, don't! - Wait, what? 576 00:21:50,961 --> 00:21:52,427 Yeah, I... I'm just, I'm just sayin'. 577 00:21:52,462 --> 00:21:53,626 Just don't go! 578 00:21:53,961 --> 00:21:56,135 I will... I will donate my golf clubs. 579 00:21:56,170 --> 00:21:57,260 - What? - Yes. 580 00:21:57,295 --> 00:21:58,844 To jettison, okay? 581 00:21:58,879 --> 00:21:59,932 Can you guys? 582 00:21:59,968 --> 00:22:01,218 - There's a sig... This needs to hit... Here. - (METAL CLANGS) 583 00:22:01,253 --> 00:22:02,885 - Uh-oh. - DOUG: Sir, you're in the way. Actually, 584 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,176 stay exactly where you are... 585 00:22:04,211 --> 00:22:06,385 - MIKE: (SCREAMS) Jared! Daddy's coming! - (ALL GASPING) 586 00:22:06,420 --> 00:22:09,086 - (MIKE WAILING) - (CROWD CLAMORING) 587 00:22:13,211 --> 00:22:14,337 No! No! 588 00:22:15,545 --> 00:22:16,712 Mike, no! 589 00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:19,385 No, no, no! 590 00:22:19,420 --> 00:22:21,211 MIKE: Jared! I'm coming, son! 591 00:22:21,795 --> 00:22:22,885 (CRACKLING) 592 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:24,712 (ALL GROAN) 593 00:22:25,128 --> 00:22:26,712 (INAUDIBLE) 594 00:22:35,211 --> 00:22:36,295 BARBARA: (QUIETLY) Mike? 595 00:22:38,086 --> 00:22:40,719 (STAMMERS) It's VFX, guys. 596 00:22:40,754 --> 00:22:41,926 Visual effects. 597 00:22:41,961 --> 00:22:44,427 It's a projection. It's not even very good ones. 598 00:22:44,462 --> 00:22:46,218 That guy is gonna be headed to the green room 599 00:22:46,253 --> 00:22:48,510 - any minute now. - Yeah, the green room. 600 00:22:48,545 --> 00:22:50,468 What? No, no... What are you talking about? 601 00:22:50,503 --> 00:22:52,260 JADEN: He's gonna go to the green room. He's fine. 602 00:22:52,295 --> 00:22:53,677 He's a desiccated man! 603 00:22:53,712 --> 00:22:56,719 We just saw a man become desiccated! 604 00:22:56,754 --> 00:22:57,920 MATT: Oh, God. 605 00:23:01,879 --> 00:23:02,844 You saved me, Doug. 606 00:23:02,879 --> 00:23:04,802 I couldn't watch you go in there. 607 00:23:04,837 --> 00:23:06,785 - Thank you. - I want you here with me. 608 00:23:08,045 --> 00:23:10,926 You can't just save my life. You gotta make it about you. 609 00:23:10,961 --> 00:23:12,968 - No... Oh, for fuck's sake. - This is classic. 610 00:23:13,003 --> 00:23:16,385 Oh, Fudd. You're playing me. Aren't you? 611 00:23:16,420 --> 00:23:20,176 Absolutely not. I don't know what the fuck is going on. 612 00:23:20,211 --> 00:23:22,302 I should've known a real trip to Saturn was beyond you, 613 00:23:22,337 --> 00:23:24,594 - ya small-time huckster. - What? No. 614 00:23:24,629 --> 00:23:28,926 (CHUCKLES) See you back home, crying probably, in court. 615 00:23:28,961 --> 00:23:32,844 Harrison, we really are in space. 616 00:23:32,879 --> 00:23:34,010 I think. 617 00:23:34,045 --> 00:23:36,260 You're so cute when you're lying. 618 00:23:36,295 --> 00:23:38,093 - All right. No, no, no, no. - HARRISON: Oh? Oh? 619 00:23:38,128 --> 00:23:39,635 What's your next move? Huh? 620 00:23:39,670 --> 00:23:42,503 That's a good question. Thought I might twat you one? 621 00:23:42,761 --> 00:23:43,743 Go ahead. 622 00:23:44,378 --> 00:23:45,810 I like being hit. 623 00:23:46,045 --> 00:23:48,135 - That's... - Billie, twat the gentleman. 624 00:23:48,170 --> 00:23:50,093 - Me? Right. Yes. Listen. - Will you? Yeah. 625 00:23:50,128 --> 00:23:51,926 - Mr.... - She's got an E! Okay! 626 00:23:51,961 --> 00:23:54,468 Anybody who wants 1000 new bucks, 627 00:23:54,503 --> 00:23:55,572 help me escape! 628 00:23:55,608 --> 00:23:56,926 (ALL YELLING) 629 00:23:56,961 --> 00:24:00,295 Use your fucking code! Five-three-three-five! 630 00:24:03,462 --> 00:24:05,135 (HARRISON LAUGHS) 631 00:24:05,170 --> 00:24:07,343 BILLIE: No! No... 632 00:24:07,378 --> 00:24:09,176 (MOCKINGLY) Ooh, I'm scared! I'm so scared! 633 00:24:09,211 --> 00:24:13,003 (LAUGHING) Joke's on you, Herman, you big assho... 634 00:24:13,961 --> 00:24:15,635 (INAUDIBLE) 635 00:24:15,670 --> 00:24:18,670 (ALL GROANING) 636 00:24:22,170 --> 00:24:24,545 If these are effects, they're pretty darn good. 637 00:24:33,754 --> 00:24:35,844 Okay. Anyone else 638 00:24:35,879 --> 00:24:37,802 - think it's a game show? - SARAH: Sarah. 639 00:24:37,837 --> 00:24:40,170 - No, no, no, no, no! - (CLAMORING) 640 00:24:49,128 --> 00:24:51,968 - DEVON: Yeah! - TERI: Take me, Jesus! 641 00:24:52,003 --> 00:24:53,968 MAN: Eat my asshole! 642 00:24:54,003 --> 00:24:55,587 Actually, I've changed my... 643 00:25:04,629 --> 00:25:07,051 (CROWD GROANS) 644 00:25:07,086 --> 00:25:08,885 Now, why would they do that as an effect? 645 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:11,086 I have no idea that that's what would even happen. 646 00:25:15,003 --> 00:25:16,802 Well, you laughing gnome. 647 00:25:16,837 --> 00:25:19,343 You still think it's visual fucking effects? 648 00:25:19,378 --> 00:25:22,385 I... Well, the F doesn't stand for "fucking," 649 00:25:22,420 --> 00:25:25,218 and I will admit that I'm on the fence. 650 00:25:25,253 --> 00:25:27,093 - Oh, you're on the fence? - JADEN: I'm on the fence. 651 00:25:27,128 --> 00:25:28,719 Uh-huh. They're not on the fence. 652 00:25:28,754 --> 00:25:30,920 You put them on the fence, and they disintegrate. 653 00:25:32,045 --> 00:25:33,754 - Uh... - MATT: Holy shit. 654 00:25:35,570 --> 00:25:36,951 Is it my fault? 655 00:25:37,086 --> 00:25:39,176 Well, you know, it's not not your fault. 656 00:25:39,211 --> 00:25:40,552 I was trying to help, and... 657 00:25:40,587 --> 00:25:42,635 Your arguments were confusing. 658 00:25:42,670 --> 00:25:44,385 Everything's a simulation? 659 00:25:44,420 --> 00:25:46,343 And... and a one percent chance they could get home? 660 00:25:46,378 --> 00:25:48,128 Where did you get the one percent? 661 00:25:49,545 --> 00:25:51,093 I was trying to be nuanced. 662 00:25:51,128 --> 00:25:55,135 Nuanced? Well, I think you just nuanced them to death. 663 00:25:55,170 --> 00:25:58,760 Uh, yes. That is exactly what happened here today. 664 00:25:58,795 --> 00:26:01,760 Uh, Matthew nuanced seven people to death. 665 00:26:01,795 --> 00:26:03,260 There's plenty of blame to go around. 666 00:26:03,295 --> 00:26:05,176 We are all gonna get a slice. 667 00:26:05,211 --> 00:26:06,795 Oh shit... 668 00:26:07,879 --> 00:26:09,560 Message from Earth. 669 00:26:09,795 --> 00:26:12,926 Their son just woke up from his coma. 670 00:26:12,961 --> 00:26:14,635 He wants to know where his parents are. 671 00:26:14,670 --> 00:26:16,968 - MAN: Oh, god. - That's not good. 672 00:26:17,003 --> 00:26:18,295 I'm gonna... I'm gonna go. 673 00:26:20,211 --> 00:26:22,795 Matt, can I leave that one with you? 674 00:26:35,886 --> 00:26:38,119 Hello! Hi. 675 00:26:38,545 --> 00:26:42,010 I don't wanna have to fight you for a place home. 676 00:26:42,045 --> 00:26:43,093 - Rav, Rav, Rav. - But I... 677 00:26:43,128 --> 00:26:44,719 Okay, look, I'm the pilot. 678 00:26:44,754 --> 00:26:46,677 I'm going home, whatever happens. 679 00:26:46,712 --> 00:26:49,719 The passenger is either you or Mr. Judd 680 00:26:49,754 --> 00:26:50,926 or both of you 681 00:26:50,961 --> 00:26:53,670 if one of you has eaten the other. 682 00:26:54,170 --> 00:26:55,170 Okay? 683 00:26:55,795 --> 00:26:56,837 Okay. 684 00:26:59,170 --> 00:27:01,163 I mean, it might not be so bad. 685 00:27:01,629 --> 00:27:04,468 No press. Illuminated turd shows. 686 00:27:04,503 --> 00:27:08,635 Buffets. Cruise life. (SING-SONGS) Cruisin'! 687 00:27:08,670 --> 00:27:10,378 (CHUCKLES) I can do this, right? 688 00:27:11,003 --> 00:27:12,302 (RAV GASPS) 689 00:27:12,337 --> 00:27:14,093 - RAV: Get me home! Get me home right now! - Damn it! I can't! 690 00:27:14,128 --> 00:27:15,677 - It's automated! - RAV: Do something! 691 00:27:15,712 --> 00:27:17,760 - Let go of my arm! Let go of my arm! - I'm afraid! I'm very scared! 692 00:27:17,795 --> 00:27:20,712 - I can't... Help! Oh shit! - (SCREAMS) 693 00:27:22,003 --> 00:27:23,712 ♪ (MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 694 00:28:24,665 --> 00:28:26,420 RYAN CLARK: I got a message from Matt. 695 00:28:26,795 --> 00:28:29,302 "I have changed the codes to the airlock. 696 00:28:29,337 --> 00:28:31,218 No more deaths, no more tragedies." 697 00:28:31,253 --> 00:28:32,552 That's good. That's smart. 698 00:28:32,587 --> 00:28:34,968 How are we supposed to jettison all this stuff now? 699 00:28:35,003 --> 00:28:36,594 What Matt wrote is dumb. 700 00:28:36,629 --> 00:28:37,968 - ♪ (INTENSE MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ - (TICKING) 701 00:28:38,003 --> 00:28:39,552 - We are gonna find him. - Have you seen the tall weirdo? 702 00:28:39,587 --> 00:28:41,468 We're gonna get the code, and we're gonna kill him. 703 00:28:41,503 --> 00:28:43,760 BILLIE: If we can't jettison the stuff in the next hour, 704 00:28:43,795 --> 00:28:46,503 we're in this for the long three and a half years. 705 00:28:46,961 --> 00:28:49,260 HERMAN JUDD: I already lost seven good souls. 706 00:28:49,295 --> 00:28:51,051 - I'm not gonna lose an eighth. - Eleven. 707 00:28:51,086 --> 00:28:53,260 - What? - You've lost 11 good souls in total. 708 00:28:53,295 --> 00:28:54,629 That's a lot. 709 00:28:55,253 --> 00:28:56,253 That's a lot. 710 00:28:58,086 --> 00:28:59,420 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 54410

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.