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1
00:00:00,485 --> 00:00:03,196
♫ Worlds away from anyone
2
00:00:03,196 --> 00:00:06,846
♫ They were burning
themselves out in the sun
3
00:00:06,846 --> 00:00:09,753
♫ Worlds away from anyone
4
00:00:09,753 --> 00:00:12,903
♫ They were burning
themselves out in the sun
5
00:00:12,903 --> 00:00:17,070
♫ There was just enough
to get that far away
6
00:00:20,017 --> 00:00:22,271
♫ Ooh
7
00:00:22,271 --> 00:00:25,359
♫ Ooh, ooh, ooh.
8
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:28,109
♫ Ooh, ooh, ooh.
9
00:00:31,763 --> 00:00:34,053
- [Lockie] This is me, in there somewhere.
10
00:00:34,053 --> 00:00:36,849
I'm having a near-death experience.
11
00:00:36,849 --> 00:00:38,348
What's it like?
12
00:00:38,348 --> 00:00:40,591
It's like being inside a washing machine,
13
00:00:40,591 --> 00:00:42,341
rinse and spin cycle.
14
00:00:42,341 --> 00:00:45,370
They say your whole life
flashes before your eyes.
15
00:00:45,370 --> 00:00:46,420
Not true.
16
00:00:46,420 --> 00:00:48,347
I was only thinking one thing,
17
00:00:48,347 --> 00:00:50,805
revenge of the city boy.
18
00:00:50,805 --> 00:00:51,638
Rewind.
19
00:00:54,039 --> 00:00:56,187
(suspenseful music)
20
00:00:56,187 --> 00:00:59,062
I come in peace from a distant land.
21
00:00:59,062 --> 00:01:02,145
My people should talk to your people.
22
00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:11,946
- You here on holiday?
23
00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:14,144
- Is that a question or
are you just telling me?
24
00:01:14,144 --> 00:01:15,502
- What?
25
00:01:15,502 --> 00:01:17,124
- I've just moved here.
26
00:01:17,124 --> 00:01:19,167
- [Boy] He's from the city.
27
00:01:19,167 --> 00:01:20,000
- Am I?
28
00:01:21,083 --> 00:01:22,134
Yeah, OK.
29
00:01:22,134 --> 00:01:24,081
You city blokes, youse all up yourselves.
30
00:01:24,081 --> 00:01:25,772
Youse all think you can surf.
31
00:01:25,772 --> 00:01:26,849
- Is that right?
32
00:01:26,849 --> 00:01:29,075
And this is in your experience, is it?
33
00:01:29,075 --> 00:01:29,908
Okay.
34
00:01:29,908 --> 00:01:31,994
- What, you scared or something?
35
00:01:31,994 --> 00:01:33,454
- Scared? Nah.
36
00:01:33,454 --> 00:01:36,871
Just a healthy respect for nature's fury.
37
00:01:50,368 --> 00:01:51,838
- What's this about?
38
00:01:51,838 --> 00:01:54,029
- What, this? Chill factor.
39
00:01:54,029 --> 00:01:55,234
My wetsuit's wearing out.
40
00:01:55,234 --> 00:01:56,067
Gotta get a new one.
41
00:01:56,067 --> 00:01:58,485
- Mate, he's gotta get a clue.
42
00:01:58,485 --> 00:02:01,639
- Wow, you got me there. Excellent.
43
00:02:01,639 --> 00:02:04,775
OK, fellas, thanks for this little chat,
44
00:02:04,775 --> 00:02:08,596
and I'll be seeing youse again, probably.
45
00:02:08,596 --> 00:02:09,732
- [Lockie] But the welcoming committee
46
00:02:09,732 --> 00:02:11,667
weren't finished with me just yet;
47
00:02:11,667 --> 00:02:13,455
and somehow, I was guessing
48
00:02:13,455 --> 00:02:15,955
that wasn't such a good thing.
49
00:02:21,849 --> 00:02:23,129
Hang on, what's this?
50
00:02:23,129 --> 00:02:24,660
Don't they teach youse anything about
51
00:02:24,660 --> 00:02:26,647
surfing etiquette in the country?
52
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,397
This is my wave, pal.
53
00:02:32,391 --> 00:02:34,516
So I'm getting bounced along the seabed,
54
00:02:34,516 --> 00:02:37,610
but that isn't what's making city boy mad.
55
00:02:37,610 --> 00:02:39,287
I might be hopeless at football,
56
00:02:39,287 --> 00:02:41,505
I'm an embarrassment in a cricket match,
57
00:02:41,505 --> 00:02:43,362
but I can ride a board.
58
00:02:43,362 --> 00:02:45,317
It was time to teach
the welcoming committee
59
00:02:45,317 --> 00:02:47,072
not to mess with city boy.
60
00:02:47,072 --> 00:02:48,991
And tonight; their mums might need
61
00:02:48,991 --> 00:02:52,131
to put their board
shorts through the wash.
62
00:02:52,131 --> 00:02:54,714
(guitar music)
63
00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:30,209
- Did you see that?
64
00:03:30,209 --> 00:03:32,959
- I think you just made an enemy.
65
00:03:35,989 --> 00:03:37,489
- It was worth it.
66
00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:39,952
- Come and get changed.
67
00:03:39,952 --> 00:03:42,119
You'll be late for church.
68
00:03:43,466 --> 00:03:44,409
- [Lockie] Yay.
69
00:03:44,409 --> 00:03:47,056
Though I walk through the
valley of the shadow of death,
70
00:03:47,056 --> 00:03:48,981
I will fear no evil.
71
00:03:48,981 --> 00:03:51,983
Not even aggro surfers
with revenge on the brain.
72
00:03:51,983 --> 00:03:53,262
Amen.
73
00:03:53,262 --> 00:03:55,762
(organ music)
74
00:04:01,356 --> 00:04:04,861
This is about as much fun
as a disco on the moon.
75
00:04:04,861 --> 00:04:06,157
- What do you mean?
76
00:04:06,157 --> 00:04:07,490
- No atmosphere.
77
00:04:09,178 --> 00:04:11,983
- Lockie, I hope you understand that, um,
78
00:04:11,983 --> 00:04:13,831
I'm not one to force my opinions
79
00:04:13,831 --> 00:04:16,120
down other people's throats.
80
00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:18,855
Live and let live, that's my motto.
81
00:04:18,855 --> 00:04:20,583
But you're my kids.
82
00:04:20,583 --> 00:04:22,268
So if I say we're going to church,
83
00:04:22,268 --> 00:04:24,518
then off to church we trot.
84
00:04:26,489 --> 00:04:28,559
- [Lockie] I don't get it. Look at them.
85
00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:32,476
They're not enjoying this
any more than we are.
86
00:04:36,345 --> 00:04:37,345
- [Dad] Fun?
87
00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:40,040
My goodness!
88
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,938
Must your whole life be
geared towards mindless fun?
89
00:04:43,938 --> 00:04:47,241
We are here to replenish our spirits
90
00:04:47,241 --> 00:04:51,408
for the trials and
tribulations in the week ahead.
91
00:04:53,948 --> 00:04:56,069
And quite a week it looks
like it's going to be,
92
00:04:56,069 --> 00:04:58,582
your first day at school,
my first day at work.
93
00:04:58,582 --> 00:05:01,627
I think we need all the divine
intervention we can get.
94
00:05:01,627 --> 00:05:04,255
- The whole church thing,
I just don't get it.
95
00:05:04,255 --> 00:05:06,646
- Has the thought ever occurred to you
96
00:05:06,646 --> 00:05:10,063
that maybe you're not supposed to get it?
97
00:05:11,352 --> 00:05:14,993
That there are certain things
that are so full of mystery
98
00:05:14,993 --> 00:05:19,387
that they're beyond our
human understanding?
99
00:05:19,387 --> 00:05:21,145
(heartbeat)
100
00:05:21,145 --> 00:05:23,645
(organ music)
101
00:05:27,257 --> 00:05:30,969
- [Phillip] You don't
make Mum come to church.
102
00:05:30,969 --> 00:05:34,014
- Phillip, no-one can make
your mother do anything.
103
00:05:34,014 --> 00:05:37,847
I thought you would've
understood that by now.
104
00:05:41,168 --> 00:05:42,817
- [Mum] Dear Lord,
105
00:05:42,817 --> 00:05:44,857
as you know, I haven't
asked you for anything
106
00:05:44,857 --> 00:05:46,931
since the Eagles played Geelong
in the preliminary final,
107
00:05:46,931 --> 00:05:47,764
but...
108
00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:50,798
I have a baby in nappies.
109
00:05:51,771 --> 00:05:56,567
And, okay , it was my choice
not to use disposables.
110
00:05:56,567 --> 00:05:57,664
I stress about the landfill,
111
00:05:57,664 --> 00:06:00,749
(baby crying)
I admit that.
112
00:06:00,749 --> 00:06:03,219
I also have two sons, aged 10 and 12,
113
00:06:03,219 --> 00:06:05,557
and a husband who can
get through 10 shirts
114
00:06:05,557 --> 00:06:07,264
in a week and not even think about it!
115
00:06:07,264 --> 00:06:08,931
So here's the thing,
116
00:06:09,814 --> 00:06:13,363
I need this washing machine to work.
117
00:06:13,363 --> 00:06:15,613
And I need it to work now.
118
00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:19,593
And if it doesn't work now, then (laugh)
119
00:06:19,593 --> 00:06:22,436
I will know that you don't exist.
120
00:06:22,436 --> 00:06:25,353
That's not a threat, but, you know,
121
00:06:26,191 --> 00:06:28,358
think about it. Carefully.
122
00:06:30,719 --> 00:06:34,263
Because I can be pushed too far.
123
00:06:34,263 --> 00:06:36,263
Thy will be done. Amen.
124
00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:41,649
♫ The Lord's my shepherd
125
00:06:42,661 --> 00:06:45,328
♫ I'll not want
126
00:06:46,225 --> 00:06:49,725
♫ He makes me down to lie
127
00:06:53,154 --> 00:06:56,707
♫ In pastures green
128
00:06:56,707 --> 00:06:59,374
♫ He leadeth me
129
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:03,788
♫ The quiet waters by
130
00:07:15,862 --> 00:07:18,304
- [Lockie] This is something
I've picked up over the years.
131
00:07:18,304 --> 00:07:20,574
If you ever see an earring and a guitar;
132
00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:22,818
and there's a minister attached,
133
00:07:22,818 --> 00:07:26,778
it means somebody's trying
to connect with young people.
134
00:07:26,778 --> 00:07:30,027
- There are many tribes in God's house.
135
00:07:30,027 --> 00:07:31,278
In fact,
136
00:07:31,278 --> 00:07:35,208
I rather think I can see
a few of them here today.
137
00:07:35,208 --> 00:07:36,041
Because,
138
00:07:37,293 --> 00:07:38,126
of course,
139
00:07:40,010 --> 00:07:42,010
we have the footy tribe!
140
00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:45,988
Come, the dockers!
141
00:07:45,988 --> 00:07:48,238
(laughing)
142
00:07:50,706 --> 00:07:51,539
OK, then.
143
00:07:53,088 --> 00:07:58,067
Well, I can see we have a
chapter of the bikie tribe.
144
00:07:58,067 --> 00:08:00,683
And up the back there,
145
00:08:00,683 --> 00:08:02,297
I can see a cool dude
146
00:08:02,297 --> 00:08:04,276
from the headbangers tribe.
147
00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:06,244
- [Lockie] This had probably sounded great
148
00:08:06,244 --> 00:08:08,913
when the Reverend practised
it at home in his bedroom.
149
00:08:08,913 --> 00:08:12,246
- Are there any other tribes here today?
150
00:08:14,184 --> 00:08:18,351
- I'm in the, uh, woodchip
and whaling task force.
151
00:08:20,058 --> 00:08:22,571
- Well, have you ever
thought about those tribes
152
00:08:22,571 --> 00:08:25,104
that don't wear a uniform?
153
00:08:25,104 --> 00:08:27,673
That aren't so easy to spot?
154
00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:30,021
The, get off my case, tribe?
155
00:08:30,021 --> 00:08:33,669
The, nobody understands me, tribe?
156
00:08:33,669 --> 00:08:35,181
But wouldn't it be great
157
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,480
if, ever we felt those things,
158
00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:40,604
we could see the other guy in our tribe
159
00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:44,604
and say to them, hey,
bruz, you're just like me.
160
00:08:45,601 --> 00:08:47,126
- [Lockie] But in front of an audience,
161
00:08:47,126 --> 00:08:48,802
this was a major wipe-out.
162
00:08:48,802 --> 00:08:51,719
And what made it worse, he knew it.
163
00:08:56,627 --> 00:08:58,633
The rev was obviously a member of the,
164
00:08:58,633 --> 00:09:02,498
I've just fallen flat on my
face and need a hug, tribe.
165
00:09:02,498 --> 00:09:03,727
- [Dad] Top marks.
166
00:09:03,727 --> 00:09:05,727
Tribes? Very insightful.
167
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:09,402
Oh, yes. I'd give it A for effort.
168
00:09:09,402 --> 00:09:10,235
- Oh, really?
169
00:09:10,235 --> 00:09:13,657
You don't know how grateful I
am to hear someone say that.
170
00:09:13,657 --> 00:09:15,592
- Dad, effort is an E.
171
00:09:15,592 --> 00:09:18,050
So, technically, that's a fail.
172
00:09:18,050 --> 00:09:18,883
- Phillip!
173
00:09:18,883 --> 00:09:19,716
- What?
174
00:09:19,716 --> 00:09:21,644
- Because sometimes it's quite tricky
175
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,787
knowing where to pitch the humour.
176
00:09:23,787 --> 00:09:25,409
No, we, we were,
177
00:09:25,409 --> 00:09:26,242
we were,
178
00:09:26,242 --> 00:09:28,138
falling over!
179
00:09:28,138 --> 00:09:30,831
What do you say, Lockie?
180
00:09:30,831 --> 00:09:32,664
- Yep, worked for me.
181
00:09:32,664 --> 00:09:33,497
Huge.
182
00:09:34,893 --> 00:09:36,132
- OK, come on, boys.
183
00:09:36,132 --> 00:09:37,744
- Alright. Bye.
184
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:38,962
- [Lockie] It was really sad.
185
00:09:38,962 --> 00:09:40,369
I don't think I'd seen such
186
00:09:40,369 --> 00:09:43,202
a nervous person in my whole life.
187
00:09:44,164 --> 00:09:45,796
Finally, it had arrived,
188
00:09:45,796 --> 00:09:49,018
Lockie Leonard's first day
as a high school student.
189
00:09:49,018 --> 00:09:50,818
Luckily, things were hectic enough
190
00:09:50,818 --> 00:09:52,575
at home to distract me
from the growing sense
191
00:09:52,575 --> 00:09:54,801
of dread in my stomach.
192
00:09:54,801 --> 00:09:58,103
Hey, Mum, have you seen
Blob's rear end lately?
193
00:09:58,103 --> 00:09:59,980
You notice the deliberate mistake?
194
00:09:59,980 --> 00:10:03,357
- Apple, apple. Muffin,
muffin. Chips, chips.
195
00:10:03,357 --> 00:10:04,274
Milk, milk.
196
00:10:05,616 --> 00:10:07,707
- Joy, you wouldn't have a
clean shirt for me, would you?
197
00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:09,459
- Uh, I think you'll need to take
198
00:10:09,459 --> 00:10:11,950
that one up with a higher authority.
199
00:10:11,950 --> 00:10:13,486
And, um, boys,
200
00:10:13,486 --> 00:10:15,520
if anyone asks you why you haven't
201
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,300
got any clean PE gear today,
202
00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:19,550
just tell them, God knows,
203
00:10:19,550 --> 00:10:20,510
and leave it at that.
204
00:10:20,510 --> 00:10:21,343
Hmm?
205
00:10:36,015 --> 00:10:38,134
- [Dad] Raring to go?
206
00:10:38,134 --> 00:10:40,576
- New face in a new school?
207
00:10:40,576 --> 00:10:43,326
Sure. That's always gonna be fun.
208
00:10:44,279 --> 00:10:45,169
What about you?
209
00:10:45,169 --> 00:10:48,513
- Oh, anticipation tinged with anxiety.
210
00:10:48,513 --> 00:10:51,101
But the unanswered question remains,
211
00:10:51,101 --> 00:10:53,017
will you meet anyone of like mind?
212
00:10:53,017 --> 00:10:55,283
- Or just the usual
wall-to-wall boofheads.
213
00:10:55,283 --> 00:10:56,929
- Indeed.
214
00:10:56,929 --> 00:10:58,846
Stormy Monday, in fact.
215
00:10:59,735 --> 00:11:02,465
Stormy Monday, it's a blues song,
216
00:11:02,465 --> 00:11:04,420
with lyrics to the effect of,
217
00:11:04,420 --> 00:11:05,648
"You thought Monday was a shocker,
218
00:11:05,648 --> 00:11:06,957
"Tuesday's worse."
219
00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:08,605
The basic idea being that, by and large,
220
00:11:08,605 --> 00:11:11,765
every day of the week is
worse than the one before it.
221
00:11:11,765 --> 00:11:15,020
Simple, yet, surprisingly elegant.
222
00:11:15,020 --> 00:11:17,259
- Great, Sarge. I feel better already.
223
00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:20,028
- Hey, be thankful you
weren't the new boy in my day,
224
00:11:20,028 --> 00:11:22,009
guided tour of the boys' toilets,
225
00:11:22,009 --> 00:11:24,636
Vegemite smeared around with gay abandon,
226
00:11:24,636 --> 00:11:25,469
and the Lord only knows what
227
00:11:25,469 --> 00:11:27,559
they might do to your play-lunch.
228
00:11:27,559 --> 00:11:29,309
Count yourself lucky.
229
00:11:31,021 --> 00:11:31,854
- City boy!
230
00:11:31,854 --> 00:11:33,607
City boy! City boy!
231
00:11:33,607 --> 00:11:35,523
Dunnies! Dunnies! Dunnies!
232
00:11:35,523 --> 00:11:37,809
- [Lockie] OK, you don't
actually want to see this.
233
00:11:37,809 --> 00:11:40,685
What follows contains
high-level antisocial behaviour
234
00:11:40,685 --> 00:11:43,128
and Vegemite spread abuse.
235
00:11:43,128 --> 00:11:44,040
So, in the meantime,
236
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,726
here's something else for you to look at
237
00:11:46,726 --> 00:11:47,559
- [Boy] Go the Vegemite!
238
00:11:47,559 --> 00:11:48,744
- [Boy] Where's the paintbrush?
239
00:11:48,744 --> 00:11:50,077
- [Lockie] Not the Vegemite!
240
00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:51,532
Not the Vegemite!
241
00:11:51,532 --> 00:11:52,548
- [Boy] Stop him kicking!
242
00:11:52,548 --> 00:11:53,381
- [Boy] Stink!
243
00:11:53,381 --> 00:11:54,331
- [Lockie] The Vegemite's OK.
244
00:11:54,331 --> 00:11:56,212
I can live with the Vegemite!
245
00:11:56,212 --> 00:11:57,045
- [Boy] Gross!
246
00:11:57,045 --> 00:11:57,930
- [Boy] Ew, you need a wash!
247
00:11:57,930 --> 00:11:59,015
- [Boy] Toilet flush for youse!
248
00:11:59,015 --> 00:12:00,236
- [Lockie] Not the toilet!
249
00:12:00,236 --> 00:12:01,569
Not the toilet!
250
00:12:13,207 --> 00:12:15,132
- What do you think you're doing?
251
00:12:15,132 --> 00:12:17,690
- Washing off Australia's
favourite spread.
252
00:12:17,690 --> 00:12:19,784
- Whoa! Stop! Are you mad?
253
00:12:19,784 --> 00:12:22,201
- No, just very, very sticky.
254
00:12:23,615 --> 00:12:25,928
- Take some advice from
someone who's been there.
255
00:12:25,928 --> 00:12:27,456
Leave the spread where it is,
256
00:12:27,456 --> 00:12:29,729
and wear the spread with pride.
257
00:12:29,729 --> 00:12:31,219
- What, turn the other cheek?
258
00:12:31,219 --> 00:12:32,304
- No!
259
00:12:32,304 --> 00:12:34,333
Turn this into your advantage.
260
00:12:34,333 --> 00:12:37,086
Take Vegemite smearing where
it's never been before.
261
00:12:37,086 --> 00:12:38,684
Become the dude from the,
262
00:12:38,684 --> 00:12:40,337
I'm so weird I'm scary tribe.
263
00:12:40,337 --> 00:12:43,107
- Excuse me? Those jerks are my tribe!
264
00:12:43,107 --> 00:12:44,581
They're surfers!
265
00:12:44,581 --> 00:12:46,713
What happens when I meet
the panel van crowd?
266
00:12:46,713 --> 00:12:49,453
- OK. It's a high-risk strategy.
267
00:12:49,453 --> 00:12:51,886
But what have you got to lose?
268
00:12:51,886 --> 00:12:55,053
More guided tours through the toilets?
269
00:12:56,281 --> 00:12:57,192
- [Lockie] What about you, Dad?
270
00:12:57,192 --> 00:12:58,361
Stormy Monday.
271
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,000
How's it going so far?
272
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,502
- New cop! New cop! New cop!
273
00:13:01,502 --> 00:13:03,919
- Whoa! Take it easy, fellas!
274
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:08,895
- And of course, here we have the cells.
275
00:13:08,895 --> 00:13:10,312
- Ah, yes, cells.
276
00:13:11,327 --> 00:13:12,762
Essential.
277
00:13:12,762 --> 00:13:14,095
Empty, eh, Lisa?
278
00:13:15,588 --> 00:13:17,729
- You should have seen us last week.
279
00:13:17,729 --> 00:13:19,250
We were flat-chat.
280
00:13:19,250 --> 00:13:20,417
- My goodness.
281
00:13:21,464 --> 00:13:24,341
The stories these cells
could tell, eh, Snowy?
282
00:13:24,341 --> 00:13:27,008
If these four walls could speak.
283
00:13:28,635 --> 00:13:31,217
- Sorry, Sarge, I meant to
have got that scrubbed off.
284
00:13:31,217 --> 00:13:34,103
- Don't apologise, Snowy.
285
00:13:34,103 --> 00:13:36,862
Some poor miscreant in
the pit of his despair
286
00:13:36,862 --> 00:13:38,846
can raise himself to verse?
287
00:13:38,846 --> 00:13:41,421
My God, I feel humbled.
288
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:46,299
"I never saw a man who looked
with such a wistful eye,
289
00:13:46,299 --> 00:13:49,069
"Upon that little tent of blue
290
00:13:49,069 --> 00:13:51,091
"which prisoners call the sky,
291
00:13:51,091 --> 00:13:52,318
"And at every drifting cloud
292
00:13:52,318 --> 00:13:54,740
"that went with sails of silver by."
293
00:13:54,740 --> 00:13:56,223
Oscar Wilde, Ballad of Reading Gaol.
294
00:13:56,223 --> 00:13:58,534
Do you know it, Lisa?
295
00:13:58,534 --> 00:14:02,107
"I walked with other souls in pain,
296
00:14:02,107 --> 00:14:03,433
"within another ring,
297
00:14:03,433 --> 00:14:04,412
"and wondered if the man,
298
00:14:04,412 --> 00:14:06,833
"had done a great or little thing,
299
00:14:06,833 --> 00:14:09,813
"when a voice behind me whispered low,
300
00:14:09,813 --> 00:14:12,146
"that fellow's got to swing!
301
00:14:16,576 --> 00:14:17,409
"MY GOD!
302
00:14:18,244 --> 00:14:21,376
"The very prison walls
suddenly seem to reel
303
00:14:21,376 --> 00:14:24,567
"And the sky above my head was like,
304
00:14:24,567 --> 00:14:27,067
"a casque of scorching steel."
305
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,833
(shoes squishing)
306
00:14:57,769 --> 00:14:59,769
- What's your name, son?
307
00:15:00,865 --> 00:15:01,698
- Leonard.
308
00:15:01,698 --> 00:15:04,045
- You may call me Sir.
309
00:15:04,045 --> 00:15:06,151
- Oh, thank you.
310
00:15:06,151 --> 00:15:07,696
- Sir?
311
00:15:07,696 --> 00:15:08,822
- Yes?
312
00:15:08,822 --> 00:15:10,989
- Sir. I said, Sir, right?
313
00:15:12,514 --> 00:15:14,022
- Oh, you see, that's
where I got confused.
314
00:15:14,022 --> 00:15:15,841
- Leonard...
315
00:15:15,841 --> 00:15:16,674
- Sir?
316
00:15:16,674 --> 00:15:18,903
- Ah! You understand!
317
00:15:18,903 --> 00:15:21,048
Class, he understands.
318
00:15:21,048 --> 00:15:24,574
(students laughing)
319
00:15:24,574 --> 00:15:28,006
What are you scratching
yourself for, Leonard?
320
00:15:28,006 --> 00:15:30,248
- Is that what you wanted to ask me?
321
00:15:30,248 --> 00:15:31,081
- Sir.
322
00:15:32,163 --> 00:15:33,473
- Sorry?
323
00:15:33,473 --> 00:15:35,556
- OUT! Outside!
324
00:15:35,556 --> 00:15:38,476
Get out of my class before
I tear your head off
325
00:15:38,476 --> 00:15:41,309
and use it as a blackboard duster!
326
00:15:43,117 --> 00:15:43,950
Leonard?
327
00:15:44,923 --> 00:15:45,756
- Yes?
328
00:15:46,637 --> 00:15:49,899
- [Teacher] You mean, Yes, Sir?
329
00:15:49,899 --> 00:15:53,048
I'm sure that's what you mean.
330
00:15:53,048 --> 00:15:54,548
- That's it. Yeah.
331
00:15:55,577 --> 00:15:58,827
- Are you a good math student, Leonard?
332
00:16:00,456 --> 00:16:02,625
- I have nightmares about it.
333
00:16:02,625 --> 00:16:05,370
- I think you'll be having a lot more.
334
00:16:05,370 --> 00:16:06,453
Now, go AWAY!
335
00:16:08,898 --> 00:16:09,731
- [Lockie] You know how it is
336
00:16:09,731 --> 00:16:10,577
when you look at a painting,
337
00:16:10,577 --> 00:16:13,075
and the eyes kind of
follow you around the room?
338
00:16:13,075 --> 00:16:15,612
It was like that with Vicki Streeton.
339
00:16:15,612 --> 00:16:18,365
And she looked really
impressed by my weirdo act;
340
00:16:18,365 --> 00:16:19,861
which, in its own way, was,
341
00:16:19,861 --> 00:16:21,528
well, kind of scary.
342
00:16:22,854 --> 00:16:23,813
Which was weird,
343
00:16:23,813 --> 00:16:27,074
seeing as how Egg said I was
supposed to be the scary one.
344
00:16:27,074 --> 00:16:28,953
But I didn't wanna be scary.
345
00:16:28,953 --> 00:16:30,095
I just wish we could've stayed
346
00:16:30,095 --> 00:16:32,140
in the city with all my old friends,
347
00:16:32,140 --> 00:16:33,934
in the same old street;
348
00:16:33,934 --> 00:16:35,109
and I could have gone on being
349
00:16:35,109 --> 00:16:36,450
the same old Lockie Leonard,
350
00:16:36,450 --> 00:16:39,513
everybody knew and nobody much minded.
351
00:16:39,513 --> 00:16:42,786
Instead of which, I hardly
knew myself anymore.
352
00:16:42,786 --> 00:16:45,936
I felt like I was making
myself up as I went along.
353
00:16:45,936 --> 00:16:48,959
Unlike Sarge, who'd
never been any different.
354
00:16:48,959 --> 00:16:52,319
- "And all men kill the thing they love
355
00:16:52,319 --> 00:16:54,500
"By all, let this be heard
356
00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:56,422
"Some do it with a bitter look,
357
00:16:56,422 --> 00:16:59,275
"some with a flattering word.
358
00:16:59,275 --> 00:17:01,942
"The coward does it with a kiss,
359
00:17:03,413 --> 00:17:06,723
"The brave man with a sword..."
360
00:17:06,723 --> 00:17:07,556
Right!
361
00:17:09,030 --> 00:17:11,447
Let's go chase some bad guys.
362
00:17:13,712 --> 00:17:16,064
- [Lockie] Now, here's an
interesting fact for you,
363
00:17:16,064 --> 00:17:19,464
Vegemite doesn't improve with age.
364
00:17:19,464 --> 00:17:21,889
But Egg's strategy had merit.
365
00:17:21,889 --> 00:17:24,339
People were starting to take notice.
366
00:17:24,339 --> 00:17:25,750
- [Egg] This is great. You're winning,
367
00:17:25,750 --> 00:17:27,570
but they can't work out why.
368
00:17:27,570 --> 00:17:28,993
They find this confusing.
369
00:17:28,993 --> 00:17:31,243
It makes their brains hurt.
370
00:17:33,692 --> 00:17:35,859
- [Boy] You! Come with us.
371
00:17:41,675 --> 00:17:43,363
- How do you like your food, city boy?
372
00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:45,113
Well-done or toasted?
373
00:17:46,093 --> 00:17:47,593
- Charred, thanks.
374
00:17:51,188 --> 00:17:52,021
Mmm.
375
00:17:53,084 --> 00:17:54,826
(students cheering)
376
00:17:54,826 --> 00:17:55,993
Mmm, Mmm, Mmm.
377
00:18:02,232 --> 00:18:03,065
- Lockie.
378
00:18:04,295 --> 00:18:07,545
(energetic rock music)
379
00:18:15,794 --> 00:18:16,758
- [Lockie] From that point onward,
380
00:18:16,758 --> 00:18:19,203
we pretty much had it covered.
381
00:18:19,203 --> 00:18:21,908
- Get that paintbrush out of your pants,
382
00:18:21,908 --> 00:18:24,466
you dirty little snail!
383
00:18:24,466 --> 00:18:27,825
- Who is that scratching
and wriggling over there?
384
00:18:27,825 --> 00:18:29,575
- Boy! You got worms?
385
00:18:32,066 --> 00:18:33,822
- It's Lachlan, isn't it?
386
00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:35,962
- Lockie. Yes, miss?
387
00:18:35,962 --> 00:18:37,395
- Ms.
388
00:18:37,395 --> 00:18:39,571
And, Lockie, as well as teaching
389
00:18:39,571 --> 00:18:42,418
the intricacies of the English language,
390
00:18:42,418 --> 00:18:46,608
I consider myself an
expert in personal hygiene,
391
00:18:46,608 --> 00:18:50,051
and in my opinion, you
need to take a bath.
392
00:18:50,051 --> 00:18:51,134
At a carwash.
393
00:18:54,413 --> 00:18:56,512
- Shut up! Just-just-just shut up!
394
00:18:56,512 --> 00:18:57,924
Just keep it down!
395
00:18:57,924 --> 00:18:59,341
- Thank you, God.
396
00:19:00,833 --> 00:19:02,250
- Thank you, God.
397
00:19:08,919 --> 00:19:10,656
- [Lockie] So we'd survived the day,
398
00:19:10,656 --> 00:19:13,073
but we still had to get home.
399
00:19:14,129 --> 00:19:17,129
(suspenseful music)
400
00:19:24,034 --> 00:19:24,889
- It's you, isn't it, Egghead?
401
00:19:24,889 --> 00:19:26,146
You're the one that's put him up to this.
402
00:19:26,146 --> 00:19:26,979
- Put him up to what?
403
00:19:26,979 --> 00:19:28,353
You're the one that
painted him with Vegemite.
404
00:19:28,353 --> 00:19:30,002
- Yeah, well you're the one
who's gonna lose some teeth.
405
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,386
- [Boy] Mate...
406
00:19:31,386 --> 00:19:34,053
(police sirens)
407
00:19:42,188 --> 00:19:45,724
- We've been looking for
you two for quite some time.
408
00:19:45,724 --> 00:19:46,557
Come on.
409
00:19:47,511 --> 00:19:48,344
Come on!
410
00:19:58,671 --> 00:19:59,504
Whoa!
411
00:20:00,973 --> 00:20:04,305
Now, we can do this the easy way...
412
00:20:04,305 --> 00:20:06,732
or we can do it the hard way.
413
00:20:06,732 --> 00:20:07,649
Spread 'em!
414
00:20:13,369 --> 00:20:16,251
Now, you might scare the big city cops,
415
00:20:16,251 --> 00:20:17,084
but you're not gonna have your
416
00:20:17,084 --> 00:20:20,167
evil reign of terror here in Angelus.
417
00:20:32,794 --> 00:20:35,377
You! Go home! We'll talk later.
418
00:20:38,075 --> 00:20:39,626
Not you!
419
00:20:39,626 --> 00:20:41,166
Get in the van.
420
00:20:41,166 --> 00:20:43,749
We'll finish this at the cells.
421
00:20:47,459 --> 00:20:48,920
Alright, go on!
422
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:50,587
Nothin' to see here!
423
00:20:52,766 --> 00:20:54,118
- Yeah, well, I kicked a soft drink
424
00:20:54,118 --> 00:20:55,772
machine at the mall last Thursday
425
00:20:55,772 --> 00:20:57,204
and left a great big scuff mark.
426
00:20:57,204 --> 00:20:59,357
- [Students] Who cares? Who cares?
427
00:20:59,357 --> 00:21:01,729
(tyres squealing)
428
00:21:01,729 --> 00:21:03,381
- Then I stepped in some dog poo.
429
00:21:03,381 --> 00:21:04,486
Deliberately!
430
00:21:04,486 --> 00:21:07,403
(students yelling)
431
00:21:14,095 --> 00:21:16,151
- So, how was your first day?
432
00:21:16,151 --> 00:21:18,179
- Sarge, there's a sheep in here.
433
00:21:18,179 --> 00:21:19,227
- That's Cyril.
434
00:21:19,227 --> 00:21:21,227
You made yourself known?
435
00:21:23,466 --> 00:21:25,051
- Cyril? Who's Cyril?
436
00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:26,669
- I was forced to arrest him today.
437
00:21:26,669 --> 00:21:28,067
Defacing public property.
438
00:21:28,067 --> 00:21:30,169
Lawn and flowers mainly.
439
00:21:30,169 --> 00:21:32,069
There was also a sprinkler involved.
440
00:21:32,069 --> 00:21:34,268
I can't keep him down at the station.
441
00:21:34,268 --> 00:21:35,801
They're savages down there.
442
00:21:35,801 --> 00:21:37,516
We'll have to keep him in the yard.
443
00:21:37,516 --> 00:21:39,539
- So, how was Stormy Monday?
444
00:21:39,539 --> 00:21:40,603
- Not bad.
445
00:21:40,603 --> 00:21:42,259
Fat Tuesday tomorrow.
446
00:21:42,259 --> 00:21:44,524
- Followed by Big Wednesday.
447
00:21:44,524 --> 00:21:45,971
- Spring Thursday.
448
00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:47,359
- Then Freaky Friday.
449
00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:48,433
- Silly Saturday.
450
00:21:48,433 --> 00:21:51,433
- And then, at last, Surfin' Sunday.
451
00:21:52,648 --> 00:21:54,315
- What's that smell?
452
00:21:55,464 --> 00:21:56,399
- Um...
453
00:21:56,399 --> 00:21:57,692
Cyril?
454
00:21:57,692 --> 00:21:58,692
- Oh, right.
455
00:22:00,186 --> 00:22:02,351
- [Lockie] When Surfin'
Sunday finally arrived,
456
00:22:02,351 --> 00:22:04,096
that's just exactly what I did.
457
00:22:04,096 --> 00:22:05,656
All day.
458
00:22:05,656 --> 00:22:08,139
But what was city boy thinking about now?
459
00:22:08,139 --> 00:22:11,265
Not about revenge or Vegemite spread.
460
00:22:11,265 --> 00:22:14,429
Not even Vicki Streeton's perfect smile.
461
00:22:14,429 --> 00:22:18,596
'Cause out here, I didn't
need to think about a thing.
462
00:22:23,292 --> 00:22:26,959
("Worlds Away" by Jebediah)
31848
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