All language subtitles for Loch.Ness.1996.1080p.WEB-DL.AAC.2.0.H.264.CRO-DIAMOND.en

For hundreds of years,

people have come
to our village

trying to solve
the mystery of the loch.

Dr. Abernathy
was one of them,

until the night
he had a terrible accident.

We didn't know it then,

but that night
was going to change
our lives forever.

Izzie, bedtime!

Was that a good one?
Very good one, that.

The one-eye,
that's the one.

Yeah!

Nice one there.

Are you all right,
Dr. Abernathy?

Dr. Abernathy,
are you all right?

Yeah, yeah,
I just need some air,

clear my head.

My God.

It's the first day
of the rest of your life!

It's bleeding again.

Right here
is good for me.

Yeah, listen,

why don't you tell Eddie
down at the shop

I'll catch up with him
later, all right?
Eddie?

Yeah, Eddie.
He's the owner
of the place.

We have no Eddie.

All his close friends
call him Eddie.

He's my brother.

You're not listening to me.

Hey, Caroline...

Yoo-hoo, Caroline.
You will get your money.

I...

You look like hell.

Thank you very much.

Aren't you supposed to be
at a class right now?

Probably.

You know, Mercer is
going ballistic.

He wants to have
a word with you
after your next lecture.

You know,
the one you're not at.

The dean doesn't want you
around the campus.

Neither do I.

However,
all is not lost.

I have a research position
that's perfect for a man
of your reputation.

Loch Ness.

What?

Loch Ness, Scotland.

I sent Dr. Abernathy.
He had an accident.
Dead.

What's his name
is still there.

His research assistant,
Adrian somebody.

You want me to go find
the Loch Ness monster?

Is that what you're
offering me, Bob?

No, John, I want you
to go to Loch Ness
and not find the monster.

I want you to take this
state-of-the-art equipment

and prove that
it's the biggest hoax
of the century.

What are you doing?
You know, you just...

You're stickin'
another nail
in my coffin.

I can't go there!

It'll look like I'm...
Like I'm running after
another shadow!

The only reason
I'm teaching freshmen
in the first place

is because I chased
a no-show monster
for three years!

You know that!

Come on,
I won't have any
credibility left at all.

You don't have
any credibility.

And now you don't
have any career.

Unless I say so.

What's the problem here?

All you have to do is
run the sonar up the loch,

bring me definitive evidence
that nothing's there,

and then I get
my equipment back,

you regain
some credibility,

and you get paid, John.

Screw the money.
I won't do it.

That's brave talk
for a guy that has
to hitchhike home tonight.

You know, John,

I've got letters on my desk
from the IRS about you.

Not to mention
communications

from the lawyers
of your ex-wife.

You know,
I may be broke

and I may not have
any credibility left,

but I do have
some dignity.

That's blackmail,
you know that?

So why don't you just

take the whole loch
and shove it?

Helen, make that
reservation for Scotland

for Dr. John Dempsey,
Jonathan Dempsey.

Yeah, in coach,
of course.

I don't know.
Hold on.

John, window or aisle?

Window.

Window.

Dr. Dempsey?

Hello,
I'm Adrian Foote.

Your research assistant?

I recognize you
from that picture
in
Time
magazine

when you
were on the boat
in Madagascar

with the lemur
on your shoulder.
Remember?

You've lost
a bit of weight
since then, sir,

if you don't mind me
saying so. It suits you.

This is an honor for me.

I've read
all your books
on biodiversity.

Loch Ness.

In 500 AD,

St. Columba saw the beastie
approaching a swimmer.

"Turn back, beastie,
let the man be!"
he's reported to have shouted.

It submerged.

Ever since then,
people have been
seeing
each uisage,

that's the horse
of the water.

But you watch out,
beastie,

'cause your man is here.

It is.
It's very comfortable.

And each room is done out
in a different tartan.

I think mine's
Hunting Stewart.

Is there another hotel
we can go to?

Not that's open now.
It's after the season.

Sounds like the ceilidh's
in high gear, so...

Wait, wait, wait.
What's a "ceilidh"?

Well, it's a gathering
in honor of all the
cryptozoologists.

You're telling me there are
Nessie hunters in there?

Aye, I thought
you knew.

They're all very excited
at a chance to meet you.

Didn't Dr. Mercer tell you?

That's perfect.

Good.

The Danes are here, too.
They're building
a giant cage.

They plan to lure
Nessie in with
six tons of breadcrumbs.

Dr. Muller? Dr. Muller.

Adrian.

Dempsey.
The John Dempsey,
as in Dr. Sasquatch.

I think they were
wrong about you.

He also discovered and
classified an unknown species
of wasp in South America.

That's all right.

Won the Tyler Award for that
when he was 26 years old.

Extraordinary.
He's won the
NSA Award twice.

That was a long time ago.
Forget about it.
Everyone else has.

I read
the article about you
in
Scientific American.

I think they
were wrong, because...

Dr. Dempsey,
such an honor.

Your pursuit
of the yeti was seminal.

Tell me, what is your
method of tracking?

My method of tracking?
Well...

See, what I like to do is
locate what I'm after,

then I kind of bend
down here like this,

and then I give it
the old zigzag here...

There is nowhere
you can go.

I'm gonna get my rig,
do my job

and get the hell
out of Dodge.

But at least
let me drive...
Hey, Adrian,

chill out, all right?
Have some shortbread
or something. Here.

Damn midget's car.

Your car is in the drive.

Shoot.

No.

You realize you're
blocking the driveway?

I do now.

Well, what do you
intend to do about it?

What do you want me
to do about it?

Move it, obviously.

Did I hear the word
"please" in there?

I guess not.

Thanks for your help.

This is a very important
scientific project.

We've a schedule.

If we find something
living down there,

it's gonna be
very good for
your business!

Aye, and what if they don't?

This is Dr. Dempsey.

Is that a fact?

So, Doctor...

You want to find
the monster, do you?

Yeah... Yeah,
that's correct.

But I don't have
much time, you know.

I gotta get up to Greenland
before winter hits,
find Santa Claus.

Excuse me.

So how much
for the boat?

Well, I cannot have her
defaced, you see,

with all this,
equipment I see here.

That'll make
a difference again, so...

I'll be wantin' £20,000.

Then I'll buy it back
in a week,

less damages
and 500 a day.

£20,000? You said 10.

Aye.
That was for
the
Conquest there.

Well, I only got a week
and I do need a rig.

Plus I love what you've
done with the colors.
Check okay?

Wait, wait, wait.

You can't pay him
all that money.

Well, I'm not
going to, am I?

Mercer is.
Didn't he tell you,
"Spare no expense"?

Take care of that,
will you?

Did you come to stay
with us, Dr. Dempsey?

I don't know.
Who are you?

Isabel Mary McFetridge.

My mother's Laura
and my dog's Bruce.

He rolled in some fish
and went home.

You'll be in Room D.
Bye for now.

Room D.

Hello?

Hello?

They open?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm looking for a room
for five days.

The season's ended.

We're not taking guests
just now.

Well, can I...
Can I see the manager?

I am the manager.

Could I...

Could I talk
to the owner?

I am the owner.

Bruce got into some
dead fish on the jetty.

He likes to roll in it.

Canis lupus
courtship behavior.
Bruce is on the make.

Are you still blocking
people's driveways?

Yeah, I'm sorry...
Hello?

You caught me
off guard.

The little girl
said that you were
holding a room for me.

Isabel?

She's a wee lass,
Mr. Dempsey.

We're not accommodating.

Right.

Well, let me
ask you, ma'am,

when you are
accommodating,

what do you usually
get for a room?

£70 a night.

Well, let's make it 75,

and I apologize for
blocking your driveway.

I'm sorry,
but we're still closed.

Hey, please.
Listen, this is
the only place.

Just for five nights,
please.

So you'll be
another beastie hunter?

Yes. Yes, ma'am.

Have net, will travel.
That's me.

£80. Please,
come on, overcharge me.

It seems to be
the national pastime
around here.

Hello, Mr. Dempsey.

Isabel.

Hey, listen,
why don't you work out
a room deal with me?

Your mom's crucifying me.

How much
are you offering?

Isabel!

Well, all right.
This is my last offer, though.

£90 and no pets
in my room.

That's really good.

Gee!

Yeah, see?

All right.

Room D.
It's along the landing.

Yes!

Come on, Isabel.

Hey, look at that.
Room D.

Hey, could you...

No, you're too late
for breakfast.

Three of these, laddie,

and you might catch
a glimpse of the beastie.

I think I got
a pretty good look
at one, don't you?

Some carrots.

Yeah. How many
would you like?

How about four?
Four. For soup.

They laughed
at the very idea
of a dragon in Komodo.

And then they found it.

Same with
the tree kangaroo.

Right over here.

Yeah.

Same with the mega shark,
of course.

And it was the same
with your discovery?

The Dempsey wasp.

Satellite mapping system?

And that's CP500 sonar!

I thought only the military
has this kind of equipment.

Well, nothing's too good
for Mercer's army.

Beer?

No, thanks.
Right. Right.

You can see
every mollusk.

You can see every inch.

We're gonna see it.

I know it.

How can it not be there?

How can what
not be there, Adrian?

The creature.

You know,

in prehistoric times,
the loch was connected
to the sea duct a bit.

It was cut off
at some point during
the second ice age.

Now any aquatic dinosaur
living here
would have been...

Trapped in
an isolated aquarium,

able to sustain itself
and escape extinction.

It's a nice theory.

Come on, man.

We get the Discovery Channel
too, you know.

Look, I don't want
to seem impertinent, Doctor,

but sometimes
it sounds like you believe
there's nothing there.

You're in
the ballpark there.

Okay, so the locals
need a legend

because their livelihood
depends on it,

but what about the evidence?

It's a large pinniped.
It may be a Pleistocene relic.

I believe strongly, Doctor,
that what's down here
is not a tabloid monster.

It's a biological phenomenon.

Come on.

Would you
give me a break?

Dr. Dempsey!

Nothing on the rear
scanner, Adrian!

No, there's...
There's something here.

I need help to get
a fix on it.

It's nothing.
Probably just a chunk
of driftwood or something.

It's too big
to be a chunk of driftwood.

It's moving.

It's moving!

It's propelled
by trapped
bacterial gas. Relax.

There, see?
I told you.
It was just a log.

It's always
just a big damn log.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Each uisage!
Each uisage!

He's the water bailiff.
The keeper of the loch.

He's been here since '32.

Dinner is at 7:30, sharp.

That'll be extra,
of course.

Of course.

I suppose the breakfast
I didn't have is included
in the price, right?

Aye.

Well, that makes sense.

How's your room?

It's nice, yes.
Very nice.

Are you taking over
from poor Dr. Abernathy?

Yeah,
I suppose I am.

He was a good man.
Such a tragedy.

So you're here to solve
the mystery of the loch?

There's no mystery
to solve.

I don't know
about that.

You're a believer?

Well, I wouldn't say yes,
but I wouldn't say no.

Come on,
you can tell me.

Have you actually
seen it?

Well...

When I was a wee girl,

I saw a great wake
in Urquhart Bay.

Three humps came up
just beyond the castle there.

Really?

See, now, that's
my personal favorite.
The old triple-humper.

If you don't believe in it,
why did you ask me?

I'm sorry.

Is there a shower?

Aye.

Thank God. I am...

But there's no hot water.

Why not?

The dog used
the last of it.

I'm sorry?

Canis lupus
used the last
of the H2O.

He's clean
as a whistle now.

Now, wait a minute,
wait a minute here.

Are you telling me that
I'm paying £90 a night,

that's $140, I don't get
the breakfast that I paid for,

and the dog gets
my hot water?

I didn't know
you were coming

and I didn't
ask you to stay.

There'll be plenty
of hot water later.

There are your towels.

Thank you.
Yes, the towels. Yeah.

Yeah.
Ooh, look at these.

Are you sure that
they should be away
from their mother?

I've seen the snow
in wintertime, 5'0".

And my old
grandpappy, 4'11",

we never saw him
till March.

That's terrible.
Except for his hat.

And my old grandmother,
well, she was quite pleased.

I'll help you with that.
Let me help you with that.

I can manage. Thanks.

Sorry. I was only
suggesting that
because you're, um,

a woman,
you're not capable of...

I'm sure you're
more than capable of...

As well as being a woman.

Well, if you want to.

What do you think
you're doing, Andy?

I'm just
pulling one for Duncan

on the self-serve pump.

I'd be obliged
if you'd stay your side
of the bar, please.

I do apologize,
Ms. McFetridge.

Only trying to help,
I'm sure.

Have you

thought any more
about what I said?

I have, and
the answer's still no.

You do not know what
you're missin', Laura.

I've a good idea
and it'll be no loss.

Hello, Mr. Dempsey.
Would you like
to sit with me?

Somebody who doesn't
hate me. Wow.

Actually, I'd love to.
Thank you.

So what do you
want to do?

You want to go have
a scotch and a cigar?

No. You're funny.

You think so?

Good.
Well, you wanna hear
some of my impressions?

I do Donald Duck
and Mickey Mouse.

Here you go.
I used to do
a human being,

but I'm a little
out of practice.

You're a great audience.

Okay, smart stuff,
it's your turn.

No, hey, hey,
that was good.
That was good.

You're a professional,
right?

What else do you do?
Any more animals?

I can do the water kelpie.

Yes,
the water kelpie.

All right, go ahead.
Let me see your Nessie.

That's good, but I think
it's actually a little
more like this...

You're silly.

It doesn't sound
like that at all.

Great, great.

A little success
and all of a sudden,
you're a critic.

There you go, Tommy.

What's his story?

Mr. Dempsey?
He's taking over,
like you said.

Aye, and with
more equipment

than I've ever seen
on the loch.

Aye, but it's strange.
He's not another
starry-eyed looney

looking for a monster.
The direct opposite,
in fact.

He says it doesn't exist.

How long is he staying?

As long as it takes him
to prove his point.

He thinks five days.

Did he pay in advance?

Bruce, drop!

Fetch it.

Not for Magnus,
not with his coloring.

Good day to you, Laura.
And how are you today?

Not so bad,
Mrs. McFarlane.

Hello, Mrs. Tait.
Laura.

And your
lovely Isabel,
is she well?

Fine, fine.

She's becoming
quite a handful
these days.

Do you have any
spare milk today?

Yes, yes.

That'll be for the guest,
I suppose.

Aye.

The American.
He bought a bonny
pair of socks.

A single man.
Very nice,
very good-looking.

I thought you'd closed
for the season.

I had, too.
But he made me an offer
I couldn't refuse.

So he'll be staying
a time then?

A time, aye.

Is that him
out there now?

Heavens,
what's he done
to the boat?

Is that some
sort of equipment?

Aye. I heard
he had equipment.

It'll be Andy's boat
he's using.

It is.

Does Andy not mind you
accommodating?

What's he got
to do with it?

Well, nothing.

Just I heard that you two
had an understanding.

We certainly do not.

And whether or not
I choose to take in guests

has absolutely nothing
to do with Andy Maclean.
Thank you.

This loch is
25 miles long.

That's 263 billion
cubic feet of water.

That's more water than
all the lakes in England
and Wales put together.

Can't you read?

"Beware"!

"Private"!

Why don't you go
and invade a small country
in South America

instead of
invading my water,

my privacy and
my monster's privacy?

Did he say
his monster?

That's Gordon Shoals.
He's a total fruitcake.

He's been here
16 years now.

Beware the Ides of March,

Dr. John Dempsey!

The water never
gives up its dead!

Yes, I know who you are!

And so does the monster!

And you're
in a free country!

The only bit of her
you're gonna see

is the inside of
her bloody stomach!

Because she loves me!
Nutter.

She doesn't love you!

I talk to her!

We got company.

You expecting anybody,
Adrian?

What are they doing?

I don't know.

They're gonna hit us.

Get out of the way!
They're gonna hit us.

Hey!

What the hell
do you think
you're doing?

They've ruined
the whole sweep!

Aye, that's a fact.

Listen, in the old days,

when a man
transgressed,

you put him in a barrel
and slid him down the hill.

And when a woman
transgressed...

And was it God Almighty
himself deciding
the sins, I wonder?

Or maybe some
local men with
fish eggs for brains

who acted
without thinking?

Don't worry, Laura.
Your business is safe.

So sabotage makes
everything just grand
for the community, does it?

And what do you know
about the community,
young lady?

Any luck today,
Professor?

They tell me
you're the law
on the water.

Is that right?

Do you know
what happened to me
out there today?

Caught a cold,
by the sound of it.

Very harsh climate
in these parts.

Yeah, you listen up,
Scottie.

Don't think you got
some American patsy

to play highland games with.

I'm not gonna be
run off by a bunch of

tight-fisted
weenies in kilts.

You got me?

Well, now you
listen to me,

you arrogant
young whippersnapper.

The people you are
speaking of are the Celts.

Hung the heads of
their enemies from
the manes of their horses.

You'll never solve
the mystery of the loch.

The Creator made it that way
and it is to stay that way.

The Chamber of Commerce
is behind this racket,
Mr. Water Bailiff.

This has nothing to do with
creation, this is all about
the economy.

And what told you that?
Your lenses, your lights,
your computers?

Well, I'm not a boastful man,
but I'll tell you something,

I know more
about these waters

than any of your machines.

I was baptized in them

and I am the keeper of them.

And I'll tell you
something else.

This mystery
goes all the way back
to St. Columba himself,

who saw it and stated it
in the name of Kirk!

Let's see.
Would that be
Captain James T. Kirk?

You and your puny machines

will never destroy
1400 years of mystery.

I'll tell you what,

come out
on the loch tomorrow
and you watch me.

Good morning.
Let's do it.

Fine. Don't thank us.

We liked being here
since 4:00 this morning.

I'm gonna blow
this bull...myth out of
the water once and for all.

It's no myth.
Don't start.

Turn the aperture correction
down to three, please.

He must be halfway
up the loch.

I don't think
he's found anything.

I've heard he only eats
the whites of his eggs.

Never touches the yolk.

He walks in his sleep,
you know.

No?

Aye?

A lot of Americans do that.

And he sleeps
in the nude.

Maybe the sonar activity
has driven it to the far end.

I mean...

Maybe we've
got it cornered.

End of loch.

End of
the Loch Ness monster.

It's over, Adrian.

If you want to know
what all that means,

it's time to rewrite
your guidebooks,
Water Bailiff.

The computer...

The printouts show
cracks alongside the loch.

Something could have been
hiding in there.

Come on, Adrian.
If there's a 30-foot
dinosaur out in the water,

don't you think
we would have seen it?

But too many people
have testified!

Priests and policemen!
Ten thousand others.

You think that's
some sort of
mass hallucination?

That's not my problem.
I did my job as ordered.

I proved it wasn't there.
Signed, sealed and delivered.

So it's over then?
Because you say it is?

What would you know
about it anymore?

You'll not find
a dinosaur in the bottom
of a whiskey glass!

Listen to me...

No, no, no, you listen
to me, Dr. Negativity!

I don't know
what you're doing here,

but you're not fit
to shine the shoes
of Dr. Abernathy!

"You cannot find something
you don't want to"!

You remember
those words?

Dr. Dempsey, you should,
because you wrote them
nine years ago!

Shit.

Hey, come here,
let me tell you something.

Hey, you want to
yell at me, that's fine...

You want me to yell
at you some more?

That's fine, because
I'm not finished with you!

Hey, let me just say
something first, will you?

I've been here, Adrian,
I did this.

I'm the guy who
blew his reputation
chasing Sasquatch, remember?

British Columbia, 1986?
You found the tracks!

You still don't get it,
do you?

I am a joke.

I'm the guy
who chases looney tunes.

And you think
I don't want to find
something out there?

If I nailed a dinosaur
in Loch Ness,

I would be vindicated
1,000 times over.

I would have it all back.

And more.

But it's not gonna happen.
There's nothing down there.

There's nothing
up in British Columbia.

There's nothing unexplained
flying around
the skies at night.

That is just
a wish list, Adrian,

to make us feel like
there's something more to life

than the shit
we got stuck with.

Believing is not enough.

Don't make
the same mistake I did.

Will you
sit down, Izzie? Come on.

I'm just not
comfortable at all.

But you have a cushion,
so you should be.

Is there any napkins?

Tomorrow,
I'll get some napkins,
I promise.

Promise?
I promise.

I'll get it tomorrow.
What else do we
have to get? Milk.

Biscuits.

Pota... Potatoes.

Potatoes.

You look sad,
Mr. Dempsey.

My mommy asked
if you'd like to
come in over

and have dinner with us
before you leave.

Would you like to come
and have dinner with us?

This is very nice.

Mr. Dempsey?

Isabel said
that you were...

You were expecting me
to join you for dinner.

Right, right.
Yeah, of course.

Maybe I misunderstood.

I tell you...
Why don't I just
take this upstairs and...

No, no, no.
I wouldn't hear
of it, honestly.

Is there anything
wrong with it?

You've hardly
touched it.

No, no, it's wonderful.
It's just,
I wasn't very hungry.

Have you finished
on the loch?

Yeah. Yeah,
I've finished.

How come you didn't
come on holiday
with your wife?

Isabel!

That's all right.

Number one,
I'm not on holiday,

and number two,
I don't have a wife.

- Never?
- Izzie!

No, I did once.

She ran off?

Yeah, she ran off.

Weren't you
really nice to her?

Isabel Mary McFetridge!

As a matter of fact,
when I wasn't in the jungle,
I was very nice to her.

I even discovered
a new species
and named it after her.

Is that true?
What did you discover?

A parasitic wasp.

A wasp!

I named it
protus carolinus.

The resemblance
was uncanny.

You laugh now,
but I tell you, this was
one very dangerous wasp.

After it stings you,
it hires a lawyer.

Well,
the pub's open.

Finish up as you like.
I'll clean it off later.

Well, yes,
thank you very much
for dinner.

She's lonely, too.

The winds whistled
down the glens

at 150 miles an hour.
150!

My uncle, Donald,
he had one ear
bigger than the other,

and when the winds blew,

it would corkscrew him
down into the ground.

Your good health, sir.
Your good health.

Stuart, the same?

Hello there, Adrian.
What can I get you?

Nothing,
thank you very much.
I'm... I'm all right.

Could I just say
that you are looking

particularly lovely
this evening?

Thank you.

Will you marry me?

No!

Not tonight.

Besides, I make it a rule
never to marry anyone
who asks me in a bar.

Very wise.

Well, perhaps
you wouldn't mind

passing these on
to Dr. Dempsey

to take back
to America with him.

The hotel still had
a few of Dr. Abernathy's...

Of course I will.
But if you want him,
he's in the kitchen.

Um, no, thanks,
I think I've had quite enough

of the great and world-famous
Dr. Dinky for the moment.

I have everything
you wanted, yes.

I have the photos,
I have printouts,

I have sonar readings,
the works.

Yes. Yes, I realize that.

I won.
Yes, I will.

I will see you
in Los Angeles tomorrow.

Right.

How do you do that?

Do you realize
that is 12 in a row?

I'll tell you what, here.
Close your eyes a second.

Go on, close them.
I just want to
shuffle 'em up here,

so they're
a little different.

All right.
Go ahead, open.

Yeah, yeah,
that's what I thought.
You give up?

You don't have a queen.

How do you do that?

I saw it in the mirror.

Yeah.

Let me just teach you
one more game here,
all right?

Here. All right.
Here we go, five cards.
Go ahead, pick 'em up.

No beastie.

No beasties!

That's a fact!

Dr. Dipstick says so!

That's a fact.

All right,
I'll raise you four.

You're bluffing again,
Mr. Dempsey.

That is amazing,
absolutely amazing.
Good for you.

Look, Mommy.
Mr. Dempsey taught me
how to play poker.

Mr. Dempsey says
he'll take me to
Disneyland someday.

Yeah, well,
forget Disneyland,

we're going to Vegas, kiddo.

Bed, please, Izzie. Now.

May I kiss
Mr. Dempsey good night?

You can.

Good night.
Good night, Mr. Dempsey.
Thank you for playing with me.

Thanks for taking
my money.

You taught her poker.

Yes. Yeah.
I, I did.

I'm sorry
if I did wrong there,

but do you have any idea

the odds against somebody
winning that many times
in a row?

She inherited it
from her grandmother.

Grandma
was a card shark?

No,
it's the ability to
see things sometimes.

They call it St. Columba's
gift around here.

Yeah.
Well, whatever it is,
I could use some.

Her grandmother,

she could read tea leaves

and she could tell you
whether your baby
would be a boy or a girl.

I didn't inherit it,
but little Izzie did.

The only thing I got
from my grandmother
was bad eyes.

No, I think
you have nice...

What...

What I meant was that
I'm... I'm far-sighted.

This bag is for you.

It has the rest
of Dr. Abernathy's
things in it.

Adrian thought
that you could, um...

Right, right.

...take it back with you.
Right.

Right. Good night,
Mr. Dempsey.
See you tomorrow.

John.

All right, I'll see you
in the morning. Sleep well.

Will you be hurt very much
if Mr. Dempsey goes home
tomorrow, Mommy?

Of course not.
What a question.

Perhaps he won't go.

Why do you say that?

Because I don't
want him to
and nor do you.

Isabel, whatever
makes you think that?

You look at him.
I've never seen you do that.

Well, of course
I look at him.

What else
am I supposed to do?

It's nice to be
pleasant to guests,

but you can't make
them your friends.

I've told you
that before.

Yes, Mommy.

Now go to sleep, please.

Yes, Mommy.

Stop "yes-mommying" me
like that.
He's a guest, that's all.

And don't give me that
I-know-what-you're-thinking
look either.

He'll stay
if you ask him.

Good night.

Sleep tight.

Don't let
the bedbugs bite.

If they do, use dynamite.
Mr. Dempsey taught me that.

Problem?

Yeah, yeah,
I... I don't seem
to have the knack.

It has a slight
highlands temperament.

It needs a little
encouragement here.

Need any help?

No, the air just needs to
be taken out of the pipes.

Can you watch the taps
and tell me when
the water arrives?

Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.

I'm a PhD.

Yeah, I hear something.

Aye, it's running.
Touch wood.

"Touch wood"?

Back home,
we knock on it.

You'll be leaving us
in the morning.

Will you be
requiring breakfast?

No. Thanks.

Well, you know,
it's included in the price.

I realize that.

Well, if you want to,
you can always
change your mind.

About what?

Breakfast.

Right.

We're goin' out again.
Let's go.

You can bring your pillow,
but let's go. Come on.

Tell me something, Adrian,
where were you the night
Abernathy got himself killed?

I was at the Moffat Arms.

But he left alone, right?

Aye.

He'd had a few malts,
said he needed some air.

I offered to drive him home,
but he wouldn't let me.

Yeah, but then
he wouldn't have seen it.

Seen what?

That is the last
photo on his roll.

And that is not the tail
of a diving otter.

It's not a vegetable mat.
It's not even a soliton.

I don't know what it is,
but I'll tell you something.

My guess is it's part
of something very large

and very much alive.

Why do people
keep doing this?

Some people
don't respect the loch.

They upset the waters.

Somehow it got by us.

Maybe it's hiding.

What are they?

Salmon.

Look at them all.

You notice anything
unusual about them?

Like what?

Like they weren't
there yesterday.

Like where the hell
did they come from?

Is that more salmon?

No, see, that's
a separate object...

...chasing the salmon.

Three feet.

Eel. Could be
a conger eel.

Yeah.

No, it's still coming.

No, that's a big
vertebrate.

A sturgeon, yeah?
A sturgeon maybe.

It's still coming.

My God, that's nine...

That's 17.

That's 40 feet long!

It could be a submerged
vegetable mat.

Yeah, maybe. No, no, no!

Fire up the strobes.

It's moving this way
and it's coming
towards the surface.

Where are
the damn cameras?

All recording.

Hold it steady.

I can't,
it's moving too fast.

Hold it steady.
It's moving too fast!
It's moving too fast!

I've lost him!
I've lost him!

Fifteen knots.

That's 15 knots.
That's coming
straight at us!

Get back!

Adrian! Help!

Dr. Dempsey!

Dr. Dempsey!

John!

Is he dead?

Maybe.

Alive! Alive!
Look, he's alive!

I saw it.
It's down there.

I saw it,
I swear to you.
Good!

I swear to God I saw it.
I swear to you, I saw it!

I gotta get
out there again.

You're going nowhere
until you see a doctor.

My God,
it's true, isn't it?

You said you'd seen it.
You did! You did!

No! I've never
seen anything.

I was just giving you
a tourist story.

Well, I have!
I've seen it!

God, I feel like...

John! Stop.

No, I'm sorry, I...

Izzie, did you want
a drink or something?

Izzie...
Water, probably.
Here we go.

Anyway, that's your,
basic mouth-to-mouth method.

It's a good thing
that Adrian was up
on his lifesaving.

Could,
help me with this here?

Did Adrian kiss you,
Mr. Dempsey?

You stay
right where you are.

I'm gonna call
a doctor.

You don't
have to do that.

Did you see the kelpie?

Yes! Yes, I did.
I think I did. Yeah.

What? What?

Would you like
to see it again?

Yeah. Yeah.
Yes, I do.

Of course I would, yeah.

Is the entire boat
wrecked, Bailiff?

Demolished.

And all his gear.

Well, I hope
the bugger drowned.

No, no, no,
he's very much alive

and you'll find him over
at Laura's pub, I'm sure.

I'm not drinking
at Ms. McFrigid's
place at present.

She did not look
very frigid to me.

No, he was sitting there
having his dinner and

playing games
with the wee lassie,
just like one of the family.

His equipment
may have gone,

but there's something
keeping him here.

Well.

It's bloody
cold out here.

Dr. Mercer called
about what happened.

I'm sorry,
but he's coming over.

Look, to be quite
honest with you,

I should tell you that
I didn't actually see
something out there today.

I mean, I didn't
see a monster.

I'd like to say
that I had
seen something,

but I couldn't honestly
back you up or anything.
I mean...

It is going to be a bit
difficult to do any more

without any equipment,
isn't it?

I mean, it's not
as if we can see...

It's down there.

It's out there.
I know it is.

Go away,
you charlatans!

Crazy...

Stay away from my monster!

He's not your monster,
he's my monster!

I saw him first.
Do you hear me?

My monster!

Hello?

Yeah...

Dr. Mercer,
did you say?

Yes, yes,
that's right,
John Dempsey.

Yes.

I'm sorry,
but he left
here yesterday.

I said we're closed
for the season.

Have you tried
the Isle of Skye?

Get up, Yank!
Take what's comin' to you.

Whoa, hold on a second,
will you? The boat's
insured, all right?

It's not the boat,
you pillock.

You just get out
of my woman's house!

Your woman?
That's great.

Your woman?
What, do you think
she's sheep or something?

Give me a break.
Okay, are you thinkin'
of movin' in yourself?

Andy, stop it!

Stay out of this.
It's between
him and me.

Will you stop it?
You have no right!

John, don't fight him.

Me? I'm not
fighting anybody.

Andy!
Shut it,
you sleekit whore!

Come on.
You can't talk
to a lady like that!

I'll talk any way I want.
Or are you the man
to stop me?

You know what?
I'll tell you...

Give me your best
shot here, Bigfoot.

Hit him again
and I'll deck ya!

You wouldn't dare.

Thank you for
standing up to him.

The lights went out
pretty quick.

Did I touch him at all?

Well, aye, you did.
You got a few in.

Liar.

Now, you stay
right where you are.

I'm gonna put some
camphor on those cuts.

You're gonna live, John.

Touch wood.

Izzie?
What are you doing up?

I made something
for Mr. Dempsey.

Night-night.
Night-night.

Dynamite.

That is so sweet.

"The American.

"Very nice,
very good-looking.

"He bought some bonny socks."

Laura McFetridge,
you're such a scandal.

"Get well, Dockter Dimzee."

Mr. Dempsey.

Hi.

I'm sorry if I woke you,
I was just...

I was on the way
to the bathroom.

Do you like
my get-well card?

Yeah! Yes, yes.

It's... It's fantastic.

It's the perfect
elasmosaur,

right down to the
rhomboid frontals.
See?

No, Mr. Dempsey.
It's a water kelpie.

So this is your kelpie?

It's my friend.

Are you telling me
you actually saw...

Aye.

"Aye."

You're laughing at me.
You don't believe me.
No one does.

I shouldn't have drawn it.

No, no, no, I'm not
laughing at you.
It's just that...

I have to see it
before I can believe it.

No, Mr. Dempsey.

You've got to believe it
before you can see it.

I believe you.

And I want to see it.

Do you?
Yeah.

More than anything
in the world.

Do you know what I want
more than anything else
in the world?

Yeah, what?

A red bicycle.

It's a deal.

It's a deal.

It's a secret.
You can't tell.

We can't bring Bruce
'cause he barks.

Wait, wait!
Wait for me!

Come on, Mr. Dempsey!

Please be quick,
Mr. Dempsey.

Slow down!
Slow down!
Wait, wait, wait, wait!

Isabel?

Boy.

Okay, the joke's over.

Where are you, Isabel?

Holy moley!

I'm here.

That's great.

I'm a grownup,
how am I supposed to
fit through that?

You can hold
your tummy in.

I can hold my tummy in.

Thank you very much.

This whole country
is made for midgets.

Wet frozen midgets!

Jeez, that's great.
Now I'm stuck.

Please be quick,
Mr. Dempsey.

"Please be quick,
Mr. Dempsey."

This is crazy.

Where'd you go?

My God,
this place is amazing!

Turn the light off.
It scares them.

Be very still.

Where are we?

Shh! Listen.

Sea otters.

My God.

Sea otters,
water kelpies,
aquatic mustelids.

Come on, Izzie.
Let's go.

I've had enough.

Iz... Iz...

Isabel.

Don't move.

It's okay.

It's all right.
I've got you.

He's just playing.

Boy.

No!

No!

No!

No!

Izzie? Izzie!

Izzie!

My God! Izzie!

Are you okay?

I told you
about the light!

I'm sorry, I...

Damn you to hell.

You had no right.

No.
Come on, come on.

No, no, no.
No, no, no, no.

This can't be.

Come on, please, please...

Yes!
Yes! Yes!

God, yes!

The head! God, yes!

You bastard!

You could have
killed her!

What are you...

You're just for yourself.
That's all that matters.

Use people, as long as
you get what you want.

Using me...
I mean, I should have
known better,

but to use a child!

No, it wasn't like that.

Yes?
And what was it like?
She nearly drowned!

Laura...
Don't you touch me.

Don't you dare touch me.
All right, all right,
all right.

Look!

Look what I have.
Come on, look at it!

Yeah, you got
your precious monster.

You've got your
Scottish souvenir.

I hope you got
your money's worth.

A man's here.

Yeah.

No. No, no, God.

It's a convergent
sub-species.

It's a hybrid
of plesiosaur
and elasmosaur.

You actually saw this?

Now wait a minute, John.

Hold on a minute.

Now you're saying that
this is the real...
Real thing. You saw it?

No, I don't believe it.

I can't believe it.
It's not possible.

I don't believe it.

You saw it, didn't you?

You did.
Yeah, all right.

I believe it.
I believe it!

I knew it
had to be there.

I knew there was something.

You told anyone?

No.

You sure?

Yeah.

Let's keep it quiet until
after the press conference.

I'll call London today.
We'll have a symposium

at the Royal Academy
tomorrow.
You have a suit?

Yeah.

You? You have a suit? No!

Hello?

What is this?

Money?

Hello?

Mr. Dempsey.
Yep.

Your bill
is in your room.

I believe
it's as we agreed.

There'll be no extra
charge for the sex.

That's a service
I offer all my guests.

Wait a minute,
wait a minute,
let me explain.

About what?
This is crazy.

You've solved
your mystery, John,

you found
your missing link.
You can leave now.

No, no! I found a colony
of prehistoric animals!

Look at this, they're alive!
I'm very happy for you.

Hey, it's not
just for me.

This is gonna be
good for all of us.
Don't you realize that?

Come on, Laura, you're gonna
have scientists,
marine biologists,

every lab and university
in the world
is gonna want to stay here.

You mean when
they turn the loch
into Marineland,

with the kelpie
performing tricks
for a few sardines?

It's not gonna
be like that.
This is science.

But how do you stop it?

Will you be there
along with the other
10 million nature lovers

queuing for
a McNessie burger?

What do you want me to do?
You want me to ignore this?

You want me to pretend
that I didn't see this?

That's up to you.

Come...
Look, look at this.
Can you see that?

I've waited my entire
life for this.

Good.

Come on!
You're not even
lookin' at it!

I don't want to
look at them!
Don't you get it?

I don't want to know
anything about them!

There are some
things that are

meant to be left alone.

I would have thought
that you would have
understood that.

Wait a minute, wait a minute,
wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Where's Isabel?

She doesn't
want to see you.

She trusted you, John.

Here.
Have three drams, laddie,

and you might catch
a wee glimpse
of the beastie today.

Hi, Izzie.

Why did you do it?
You scared it away.
They'll never come back.

Look...
yes, they will.

I'm sorry, don't be upset.
It's not your fault.

It is my fault.
I did wrong.

No, you didn't.

No, see, I don't think
it's something

that you and I can
just keep to ourselves.

I think it's something
we have to share
with everybody.

Why do we?
I only wanted
to show you.

I thought
you liked me.

I do like you.

And you're going.

I would do anything
not to hurt you.

You've gotta
believe me, Izzie.

It's just that I...
I don't know what...

See, there's...

There's nothing
I can do right now.

I know.

Hey.

By tomorrow morning,

you just may be
the most famous man
in the whole world.

I need a drink.
You want anything?

I don't drink.
I'm gonna take up
wind surfing, though.

The Royal Academy's
too small.

I got the Natural
History Museum instead.

No! No, no, no, no.
I'm not blowing off
Larry King.

I'm saying it's fine if
we could do it by satellite,

'cause I'll be here.
Adam, get the phone,
the phone.

Hello? Hello?
What?

Have another.
It's a celebration.

If you're
gonna hang my head
from a horse's mane,

I wish you'd
get it over with.

No, sir,
I wouldn't do that now.

No, you've
beaten the loch.

There's no
disputing that.

Savor it
is my advice.

May I?

Yes.

Yes, let's see.

1953 was the first time
that I went to London.

I didn't think
too much of it.

And I swore
to myself that

if ever I went back,
it would have to be
for a very good reason.

We both know
why you're here,
so let's not play games.

We cannot let

the survival of the last
specimens of the Ice Age

depend solely on
the work of one man.

It doesn't make
any sense.

Science can take care
of them professionally.

The sad thing is that
you really believe that,
don't you?

Yes. Yes, I do.

It wasn't exactly
science that helped
your discovery, was it?

It was a wee girl.

Nine years of age.

And wasn't it
your precious science

that gave us all this
acid rain and pollution

and warming air
in the first place?

These creatures
have survived
for 15,000 years

without your help,
Mr. Dempsey.

What makes you think
that you're so special,

I...

This is very hard for me.

I'm a proud man,

and I have never asked
anybody for anything
in my life

as I'm asking you now.

Don't do this,
Mr. Dempsey.

Well.

Well, I have
a loch to tend to.

Thank you.
Safe journey to you.

Is the mystery
of Loch Ness finally solved?

The world's media
is gathering tonight

at the Natural History Museum
in London,

where a new American
underwater survey

will claim to have
discovered definitive evidence

of the existence
of the Loch Ness monster.

John?
John, John.

Let's go.

Lead on, McDuff.

Certainly.

I've seen two
miracles tonight.

One is a man
rising from the dead.

It's good to
be alive again, Bob.

Nice suit, John.

Thank you,
Dr. Binns.

Ladies and gentlemen,
good evening.

When I, When I began
my expedition to the loch,

it was based
only on a hunch.

But as we all know,
so many discoveries
have been made

by using a little
imagination and,

bending the rules,

like, Newton,
Galileo.

And with this in mind,
I asked my colleague,
Dr. Jonathan Dempsey,

to concentrate his efforts
on the scientific enigma
of Loch Ness.

I'll ask him now
to present you
with his findings.

Dr. Dempsey.

I used to dream about
this when I was a kid.

But I have to admit,
this is,

much more overwhelming
than I thought it would be.

I'd like to say that
I wouldn't be here today

if it weren't
for the confidence
and the trust

of the architect
of this study,
Dr. Robert Mercer.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the mystery
of Loch Ness solved.

Nessosaurus maurus.

A bit murky.

Did they balls up
the slides?

What's going on?

I...

It's getting better to me.

You're right.
You're absolutely right.
I'm sorry, I apologize.

Ladies and gentlemen...
Sit down, Bob. Sit down.

You know, I...
I canceled dinner
for this.

It's all right,
just a mistake.

I hope so.

Ladies and gentlemen,
when you see this
next picture,

I hope you have the courage
to ask yourself
the question,

"Where's Waldo?"

Waldo?

What's Waldo?

I'm sorry,
I don't know what to say.

No, it's not a hoax.
This is not a hoax
as far as we're concerned.

This is purely
the Americans...

- Who's what?
- Who is Waldo?

"Who is Waldo?"
I have no idea
who Waldo is.

Listen to me.
Listen to me.

The whole thing was
a ridiculous hoax.

I never saw them.

I... I had the pictures
made up by computer
before I even came.

Please.

John Dempsey, you are
either the biggest bloody
fool that ever lived,

or you are the
biggest bloody fool
that ever lived.

Thank you.

Thank you
for everything.

Where are you going?

Home.

Good luck.

Professor!

Adrian was with me,
and we stopped
along the pier,

he saw the pictures.

Will you tell,
Dr. Binns
about the photos?

What photos would
they be, exactly?

Well?

I'm waiting.

"Arrietty had
not been asleep.

"She had been lying
under her knitted coverlet,

"staring up at the ceiling.

"It was
an interesting ceiling.

"Pod had built
Arrietty's bedroom
out of two cigar boxes,

"and on the ceiling,
lovely painted ladies
dressed in..."

What is it?

There's a car
blocking the drive.

Do you realize that
you're blocking the drive?

I do now.

Well, what do you
intend to do about it?

What would you like me
to do about it?