All language subtitles for The.Rainbow.Bridge.Motel.2018.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD_2.0.H264-iKA (2020).78394.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,874 --> 00:00:08,704 [MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:36,721 [MAN ON P.A.] WELCOME TO FLIGHT 238 FROM PHOENIX. 3 00:02:36,765 --> 00:02:39,768 PLEASE PICK UP YOUR LUGGAGE FROM BAGGAGE CLAIM THREE. 4 00:02:48,298 --> 00:02:53,085 COME ON. THIS IS GONNA BE PERFECT. 5 00:02:53,129 --> 00:02:55,175 YOU GET THE BAGS. I'LL SCOPE THE PLACE OUT. 6 00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:07,970 [CLICKS] 7 00:03:08,013 --> 00:03:11,278 OH, I'M SORRY. 8 00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:12,583 THAT'S MINE. 9 00:03:12,627 --> 00:03:13,845 NO. 10 00:03:13,889 --> 00:03:15,238 COME ON, MAN. 11 00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:17,501 COME ON, DUDE. 12 00:03:17,545 --> 00:03:18,850 [CROWD GASPS] 13 00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:24,856 [CHUCKLING] 14 00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:27,642 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS. 15 00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:30,297 WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? 16 00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:31,602 [DEAN] COME ON, COME ON! 17 00:03:31,646 --> 00:03:34,605 I HAVEN'T POSTED ANYTHING ALL DAY! 18 00:03:34,649 --> 00:03:36,694 OKAY. 19 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:40,698 WHAT WERE YOU DOING OVER THERE? 20 00:03:40,742 --> 00:03:42,265 JUST HUMILIATING MYSELF 21 00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:44,267 IN FRONT OF AN ENTIRE CROSS SECTION OF PHOENIX. 22 00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:48,271 THIS... IS OUR FIRST WEDDING POST. 23 00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:51,100 [CLICKS] 24 00:03:51,143 --> 00:03:56,453 WHAT? WILL YOU LOOK AT THIS? WE'RE HERE. NIAGARA FALLS. 25 00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:58,281 WE'RE GETTING MARRIED HERE. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? 26 00:03:58,325 --> 00:04:00,370 YEAH. COME ON. WE GOTTA GET GOING 27 00:04:00,414 --> 00:04:02,242 OR WE'RE GONNA MISS THE FREE SHUTTLE. 28 00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:03,852 GROUND TRANSPORTATION INCLUDED. 29 00:04:03,895 --> 00:04:05,680 -YEAH. -HM. VERY NICE. 30 00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:08,073 THAT QUEERPON PACKAGE YOU BOOKED IS AMAZING. 31 00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:10,554 -THANK YOU. OKAY, ONE MORE. -ALL RIGHT. 32 00:04:12,817 --> 00:04:14,906 [MUSIC PLAYING] 33 00:04:40,497 --> 00:04:43,718 LET'S PARTY. 34 00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:46,851 HEY, LET US PARTY! 35 00:04:46,895 --> 00:04:48,288 COME ON. 36 00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:08,917 COME ON. 37 00:05:13,356 --> 00:05:15,837 HEAD TO THE HILLS, BABY. HEAD TO THE HILLS. 38 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:19,188 ...POWER INVESTED IN ME BY THE GREAT STATE OF NEW YORK, 39 00:05:19,231 --> 00:05:22,844 I HEREBY PRONOUNCE YOU-- IS IT "INVESTED"? 40 00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:31,592 MY GOD, I SHOULD HAVE VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE. 41 00:05:31,635 --> 00:05:34,334 POWER INVESTED-- POWER VESTED. 42 00:05:34,377 --> 00:05:36,292 REALLY? I DON'T KNOW YET? 43 00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:41,515 UP, UP, UP, UP, UP. UP, UP, UP, UP, UP. 44 00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:43,821 GRANDPA, I'M GONNA MAKE YOU PROUD. 45 00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:51,351 [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING] 46 00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:54,963 DO I SMELL C.K. ONE? 47 00:05:55,006 --> 00:05:57,052 YEP. YEP, I THINK SO. 48 00:05:57,095 --> 00:05:58,270 YOU LIKE IT? 49 00:05:58,314 --> 00:06:01,752 UM, YES, IT'S-- IT'S VERY NICE. 50 00:06:01,796 --> 00:06:03,145 WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT? 51 00:06:03,188 --> 00:06:04,407 IT'S KIND OF COOL, YOU KNOW? 52 00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:08,019 LIKE, IN A 1995 SORT OF WAY. 53 00:06:08,063 --> 00:06:10,979 -WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT? -WHAT? 54 00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:14,765 ARE THOSE THE MAGICAL MISTS OF THE FALLS OR HAS MY VISION BECOME 55 00:06:14,809 --> 00:06:18,160 A PERMANENT FRENCH IMPRESSIONIST PAINTING? 56 00:06:18,203 --> 00:06:19,161 [RADIO CRACKLES] 57 00:06:19,204 --> 00:06:21,293 [SMOOTH JAZZ PLAYING] 58 00:06:22,991 --> 00:06:25,385 THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING NIAGARA FALLS FOR OUR WEDDING. 59 00:06:28,953 --> 00:06:32,435 YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN A MINISTER AND A PASTOR 60 00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:34,306 AND A RABBI-- 61 00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:38,180 OH, AND A KAY'S JEWELRY SALESMAN. 62 00:06:38,223 --> 00:06:43,577 AND RARELY HAVE I SEE TWO WOM-- 63 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:47,407 PEOPLE-- UH, TWO WOM-- PEOPLE-- 64 00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:52,455 WOM-PEOPLE MORE IN LOVE THAN YOU... MAYA? 65 00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:53,543 RUSSELL. 66 00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:57,242 RUSSELL. RUSSELL AND MAYA. 67 00:06:57,286 --> 00:07:02,117 I'M JUST SO CAUGHT UP IN THE LOVE THAT YOU HAVE HERE 68 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,467 AND EXPRESSED TODAY, I-- 69 00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:06,600 IT'S A L-- IT'S A L-- 70 00:07:06,643 --> 00:07:08,950 GET THE MUSIC AND THE RICE READY. 71 00:07:08,993 --> 00:07:10,778 UH, WHITE RICE OR BROWN RICE? 72 00:07:10,821 --> 00:07:13,520 WHITE RICE. THE BROWN RICE IS FOR THE DINNER THEY REQUESTED. 73 00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:16,436 OKAY, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE. 74 00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:19,003 [TRUCK HORN BLARES] 75 00:07:22,137 --> 00:07:26,010 WHAT'S HAPPENING? UM, WHY ARE WE DRIVING AWAY FROM THE FALLS? 76 00:07:26,054 --> 00:07:27,272 EXCUSE ME, DRIVER. 77 00:07:27,316 --> 00:07:29,536 SIR, ARE WE GOING THE WRONG WAY? 78 00:07:29,579 --> 00:07:31,538 TELL YOU MORE THERE. WE ARE CLOSE. 79 00:07:31,581 --> 00:07:34,149 WE ARE STAYING IN NIAGARA FALLS? 80 00:07:34,192 --> 00:07:36,586 YEAH, NIAGARA FALLS. ALMOST THERE. 81 00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:38,545 NO WORRY. 82 00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:40,503 DARREN, WHAT'S GOING ON? 83 00:07:40,547 --> 00:07:42,113 I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW. 84 00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:46,509 YOU KNOW, IT WASN'T THAT LONG AGO 85 00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:49,860 WHEN NONE OF THIS COULD'VE BEEN POSSIBLE, 86 00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:52,472 ESPECIALLY IN MY GRANDFATHER'S ERA WHEN HE BUILT THIS PLACE. 87 00:07:52,515 --> 00:07:54,212 BUT HERE WE ARE. 88 00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:56,867 SO, WITH THE POWER INVESTED IN ME 89 00:07:56,911 --> 00:07:58,695 FROM THE GREAT STATE OF NEW YORK, 90 00:07:58,739 --> 00:08:01,872 I HEREBY PRONOUNCE YOU... 91 00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:04,571 OH, BOY. UH... 92 00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:07,399 MAN AND, UH, W-- 93 00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:10,968 YOU KNOW, WE PROBABLY SHOULD'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS BEFOREHAND. 94 00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:12,535 WE GOT A NEW FORM WE'RE WORKING OUT, 95 00:08:12,579 --> 00:08:14,015 A LITTLE CHECKLIST THING, 96 00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:16,104 BUT SOMEBODY HAD TO GO FIRST, AND YOU GUYS... 97 00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:20,108 SO WHY DON'T WE JUST SAY, LIKE, HUSBAND AND WIFE IF-- 98 00:08:20,151 --> 00:08:22,937 -THE MARRIED COUPLE! -[CHEERING] 99 00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:29,900 [BACKFIRES] 100 00:08:32,903 --> 00:08:34,905 [SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE] 101 00:08:34,949 --> 00:08:36,646 -CAN YOU GIVE ME YOUR BAG PLEASE? -NO, NO. 102 00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:38,735 OH, OKAY. 103 00:08:41,477 --> 00:08:44,306 WHAT THE HELL? 104 00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:47,135 DARREN! NAH, THIS MUST BE A MISTAKE. 105 00:08:47,178 --> 00:08:50,442 DARREN, TELL ME THIS IS A MISTAKE. 106 00:08:50,486 --> 00:08:52,053 WHAT IS THAT SMELL? 107 00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:57,014 TWO MEN. TWO MEN. 108 00:08:59,408 --> 00:09:01,541 HEY, LOOK, IT'S OBVIOUSLY NOT WHAT WE THOUGHT. 109 00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:02,933 BUT, YOU KNOW, IN ITS OWN WAY, IT'S-- 110 00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:06,720 OH, MY GOD, IS THAT A CHEMICAL PLANT? 111 00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:09,157 WHAT IS SPEWING OUT OF THOSE SMOKESTACKS? DARREN! 112 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,551 -I... -DARREN! 113 00:09:14,379 --> 00:09:16,556 [CHEERING] 114 00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:19,689 WELCOME TO THE RAINBOW BRIDGE MOTEL. 115 00:09:19,733 --> 00:09:22,083 I'M SHIBBAWITZ. CAN I TAKE YOU TO YOUR ROOM? 116 00:09:22,126 --> 00:09:24,215 COME ON. THIS WAY PLEASE. 117 00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:29,917 IT'S SHIBBAWITZ. 118 00:09:31,962 --> 00:09:33,224 [HEAVY ACCENT] TWO MEN! 119 00:09:34,225 --> 00:09:35,575 TWO MEN! 120 00:09:37,489 --> 00:09:40,405 SO YOU GUYS ARE NEXT. OH! 121 00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:43,017 AREN'T THEY A BEAUTIFUL COUPLE? LOOK AT THAT. 122 00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:48,718 LET ME ASK YOU, ARE THOSE MUTTONCHOPS? 123 00:09:51,112 --> 00:09:55,116 WELL, ALL THE WAY FROM PHOENIX. INCREDIBLE. 124 00:09:55,159 --> 00:09:57,031 I GOT YOU IN THE ROCK HUDSON ROOM. 125 00:09:57,074 --> 00:10:00,425 IT'S GOT IT'S OWN HEART-SHAPED VALENTINE BED. 126 00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:04,647 -[GRUNTING] -[METAL CREAKING] 127 00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:07,737 YEAH, AND DON'T FORGET TO VISIT OUR SUNDRIES SHOP. 128 00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:10,174 WE'VE GOT FACE CREAMS AND CONDITIONERS 129 00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:13,264 AND TUBS AND TUBS OF VASELINE. 130 00:10:13,308 --> 00:10:15,397 OKAY, SO I WANT YOU TO ENJOY YOUR STAY, 131 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,094 TIM'S GONNA TAKE CARE OF YOU, 132 00:10:17,138 --> 00:10:19,270 AND HAVE A GREAT TIME. 133 00:10:21,969 --> 00:10:25,842 WHAT IS THIS? THIS HAS TO BE A MISTAKE. 134 00:10:25,886 --> 00:10:28,671 THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE BIGGEST DAY OF MY-- 135 00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:32,066 OUR LIFE. WE HAVE PEOPLE COMING. 136 00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:33,807 THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING. 137 00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:36,461 [COUGHING] 138 00:10:36,505 --> 00:10:38,159 I THINK I'M BREATHING IN BENZENE. 139 00:10:38,202 --> 00:10:41,249 YOU DON'T KNOW IT'S BENZENE. IT'S PROBABLY JUST STEAM. 140 00:10:41,292 --> 00:10:44,905 I'M A DETOX FITNESS COUNSELOR, DARREN. I KNOW MY BODY, 141 00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:47,037 AND I KNOW THAT I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE A FULL ON BONG HIT 142 00:10:47,081 --> 00:10:49,344 FROM A SMOKESTACK TO KNOW WHAT'S KILLING ME. 143 00:10:49,387 --> 00:10:51,172 LISTEN, I'M TALKING SMOKESTACKS-- 144 00:10:51,215 --> 00:10:53,870 I'M TALKING SMOKESTACKS ON OUR WEDDING. 145 00:11:00,442 --> 00:11:04,098 HI. THAT'S YOUR ROOM. 146 00:11:04,141 --> 00:11:05,534 YOU LIKE COLOR TV? 147 00:11:13,063 --> 00:11:16,676 WOW. THEY ARE AWARE THAT GAY PEOPLE SLEEP TOGETHER, RIGHT? 148 00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:19,722 MAYBE IT'S A PART OF THE JANE SEYMOUR OPEN HEART COLLECTION. 149 00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:22,682 MORE LIKE THE ROCK HUDSON CLOSETED COLLECTION. 150 00:11:28,470 --> 00:11:30,777 WOW! 151 00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:33,736 ARE YOU REALLY LOOKING AT THIS? 152 00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,390 I HATE TO SAY IT, 153 00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:37,871 BUT THIS IS THE EXACT "AESTHETIC FROM BRANSON" PUB 154 00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:40,264 THAT I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR, ISN'T IT? 155 00:11:40,308 --> 00:11:43,877 -IT'S COMPLETELY AUTHENTIC. -WHAT? 156 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,314 THERE'S NOT A PLACE WITHIN 2,000 MILES OF PHOENIX 157 00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:48,925 -THAT LOOKS LIKE THIS. -THANK GOD! 158 00:11:48,969 --> 00:11:51,449 EVERYONE WANTS TO CAPTURE THIS MID-CENTURY INDUSTRIAL LOOK, 159 00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:53,364 AND WE'RE IN ITS EPICENTER. 160 00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:55,802 YOU'RE NOT DEFENDING THIS PLACE. 161 00:11:55,845 --> 00:11:59,283 NO, I'M JUST MAKING A COMMENT. 162 00:11:59,327 --> 00:12:01,764 DARREN, DARREN, 163 00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:04,375 THIS IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE. 164 00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:06,116 YOU UNDERSTAND THAT, RIGHT? 165 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:07,465 [COUGHS] RIGHT? 166 00:12:07,509 --> 00:12:09,163 LOOK AT THE WAY THE PIPES WIND AROUND. 167 00:12:09,206 --> 00:12:11,078 THAT'S NEVER CAPTURED. 168 00:12:11,121 --> 00:12:13,776 THERE'S EVEN BEAUTY TO ITS STRANGE DESOLATION. 169 00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:17,040 YOU ARE SO FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW. 170 00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:18,781 I'M A DESIGNER, DEAN. 171 00:12:18,825 --> 00:12:20,914 YOU'VE GOTTA LET GO OF ALL THE NEGATIVE CONNECTIONS 172 00:12:20,957 --> 00:12:22,393 THAT EVERYONE'S LAPPED ON IT. 173 00:12:22,437 --> 00:12:25,005 WHAT, LIKE CANCER, HOPELESSNESS, DEATH? 174 00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:29,313 LIKE BOLDNESS, LIKE PROGRESS, INNOVATION. 175 00:12:29,357 --> 00:12:31,794 THESE ARE NOT REMNANTS OF DESPAIR, 176 00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:36,407 BUT RELICS OF ONE OF THE GREATEST CENTURIES IN HUMAN HISTORY. 177 00:12:36,451 --> 00:12:38,148 -OH, MY GOD! -WHAT? 178 00:12:38,192 --> 00:12:41,804 MY PEE IS DAY-GLO YELLOW. 179 00:12:41,848 --> 00:12:43,501 LIKE AFTER YOU TAKE A TON OF VITAMINS, 180 00:12:43,545 --> 00:12:45,460 BUT I HAVEN'T TAKEN ANY VITAMINS! 181 00:12:45,503 --> 00:12:47,984 IT'S THIS AIR AND THIS WATER 182 00:12:48,028 --> 00:12:50,117 THIS ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! 183 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:51,683 [GASPS] 184 00:12:51,727 --> 00:12:55,818 LOOK. IT'S THERE. 185 00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:57,777 I'M NOT LOOKING. 186 00:12:57,820 --> 00:13:01,650 BELIEVE ME, SMELLING IS MORE THAN ENOUGH. 187 00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:03,913 IS THAT THE QUEERPON PRINTOUT? 188 00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:07,090 -NO. -I'M FIXING THIS. 189 00:13:13,531 --> 00:13:16,360 THIS IS COMPLETELY INACCURATE. 190 00:13:16,404 --> 00:13:19,668 WHERE ARE THE MAGICAL MISTS? WHERE ARE THE THUNDERING RAPIDS? 191 00:13:19,711 --> 00:13:21,757 I'M SO SORRY. 192 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:22,889 ANOTHER ROOM? 193 00:13:22,932 --> 00:13:25,369 ANOTHER ROOM-- [COUGHING] 194 00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:26,849 ANOTHER CHANCE AT LIFE. 195 00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:29,504 WE UPGRADE. BRAND NEW ROOM. 196 00:13:29,547 --> 00:13:31,158 BETTER VIEW. YES. 197 00:13:31,201 --> 00:13:32,986 BETTER VIEW OF WHAT? 198 00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:34,726 THE TOXIC SLUDGE PIT OUTSIDE? 199 00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:37,729 I DEMAND A FULL REFUND. WHERE'S NIAGARA FALLS? 200 00:13:37,773 --> 00:13:38,992 AH! 201 00:13:39,035 --> 00:13:41,429 THIS IS NIAGARA FALLS. 202 00:13:41,472 --> 00:13:44,388 IT'S ACTUALLY THE CITY OF NIAGARA FALLS. 203 00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:45,999 YES, UH, HERE. 204 00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:49,176 YEAH, IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE. 205 00:13:49,219 --> 00:13:51,569 STUNNING NIAGARA FALLS, 206 00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:55,182 ONE OF THE EARLY GREAT INDUSTRIAL CITIES OF AMERICA. 207 00:13:55,225 --> 00:13:59,839 ALL POWERED BY NIKOLA TESLA'S IMAGINATION AND DEDICATION 208 00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:03,886 TO HARNESSING THE GREAT, MIGHTY NIAGARA 209 00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:06,758 TO POWER THE INDUSTRIAL MONUMENTS 210 00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:09,500 THAT COMPRISE THE STUNNING VIEWS 211 00:14:09,544 --> 00:14:13,548 OF THE RAINBOW BRIDGE MOTEL. 212 00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:15,158 IT IS GLORIOUS. 213 00:14:15,202 --> 00:14:16,681 WHERE ARE YOU READING THAT? 214 00:14:16,725 --> 00:14:19,989 -RIGHT HERE. -OH, ON THE SIDE MARGIN. 215 00:14:20,033 --> 00:14:23,732 NO ONE ACCEPTS THAT AS VALID, FUNCTIONAL ONLINE REAL ESTATE. 216 00:14:23,775 --> 00:14:26,169 MY IPAD CAN'T EVEN READ THAT. 217 00:14:26,213 --> 00:14:30,565 I ASSURE YOU, YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE A WONDERFUL WEDDING. 218 00:14:30,608 --> 00:14:31,871 I GIVE YOU MY WORD. 219 00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:35,135 OUT BED APPEARS TO BE CUT IN HALF. 220 00:14:35,178 --> 00:14:37,702 I'M TALKING TO SAYA RIGHT NOW. HE'S GONNA FIX IT. 221 00:14:37,746 --> 00:14:40,488 YOU KNOW, LOOK, HE'S AN OLD MAN. 222 00:14:40,531 --> 00:14:42,925 HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND, AND HE WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP. 223 00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:45,145 HOW DOES THAT HELP ANYTHING? 224 00:14:45,188 --> 00:14:48,235 HE SEES TWO MEN. HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND LIKE THE OTHERS. 225 00:14:48,278 --> 00:14:52,674 LIKE THE DRIVER AND HIS '90S DISCO BALL LASER PRIDE SHOW. 226 00:14:52,717 --> 00:14:55,242 REALLY, YOU DIDN'T-- YOU DIDN'T LIKE THAT, HUH? 227 00:14:55,285 --> 00:14:58,593 EXCUSE ME, I HATE TO BOTHER YOU BOTH, 228 00:14:58,636 --> 00:15:00,638 BUT OUR REFRIGERATOR IN OUR ROOM ISN'T WORKING 229 00:15:00,682 --> 00:15:03,119 AND IT'S IMPORTANT THAT THIS STAYS COLD. 230 00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:05,208 IT'S MY MEDICINE. 231 00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:07,950 YEAH, NO PROBLEM. WE'LL JUST PUT THIS IN THE BACK OFFICE FRIDGE, 232 00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:10,910 AND YOU SHOULD BE VERY PROUD. 233 00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:14,739 RIGHT, UH-- OH. 234 00:15:14,783 --> 00:15:15,958 INTRODUCE US, PLEASE. 235 00:15:16,002 --> 00:15:19,701 OH, THIS IS, UM... 236 00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:22,095 -DEAN. -RUSSELL. 237 00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:23,879 WE'RE BOTH SO HAPPY. 238 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,968 THANK YOU. IT WAS PERFECT. 239 00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:29,189 DON'T FORGET TO GIVE US A BIG HIGH RANKING ON QUEERPON. 240 00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:30,581 WE'RE HAVING OUR RECEPTION PARTY TOMORROW. 241 00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:33,715 COULD ALWAYS USE A FEW MORE BODIES. 242 00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:35,064 SHOULD WE PAY THE BALANCE NOW? 243 00:15:35,108 --> 00:15:36,500 NO PROBLEM. YEAH. 244 00:15:36,544 --> 00:15:40,940 YEAH, WELL, I'M GONNA COME BACK LATER. 245 00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:45,335 YOU KNOW, I COULD ALWAYS UPGRADE YOU TO THE FATHER OF THE BRADY BUNCH ROOM. 246 00:15:45,379 --> 00:15:47,772 I AM TELLING YOU, IT'S SPECTACULAR. 247 00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:49,731 IT'S A GREAT CORNER VIEW. 248 00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:53,213 THIS TIME OF YEAR, PEOPLE ARE REQUEST IT ALL THE TIME. 249 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,698 HONEY, I'M HOME. 250 00:16:00,742 --> 00:16:03,745 WELL, I FAILED. NOW IT'S YOUR TURN TO GET US OUT OF HERE. 251 00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:09,011 OH, GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU ARE NOT UNPACKING. 252 00:16:09,055 --> 00:16:12,972 NO. NO, BUT... 253 00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:15,191 I DO HAVE THE DESIGN FOR THE PUB. 254 00:16:15,235 --> 00:16:17,977 -LOOK. -OH, YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT A SHITHOLE. 255 00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:19,891 THERE'S SO MUCH MORE TO THIS INDUSTRIAL LOOK 256 00:16:19,935 --> 00:16:21,981 THAN EXPOSED AIR DUCTS AND BRICK. 257 00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,591 LOOK AT THESE LARGE JOINTS, 258 00:16:23,634 --> 00:16:25,593 THE DIFFERENT PIPES THAT JOIN EVERYTHING TOGETHER, 259 00:16:25,636 --> 00:16:26,942 THE VARIOUS METALLIC SHADES. 260 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,901 OH, MY BRAIN IS FIRING OFF. 261 00:16:29,945 --> 00:16:33,644 I'M GLAD THAT YOU GOT ALL THIS CREATIVE INSPIRATION 262 00:16:33,688 --> 00:16:35,255 FROM THAT GIANT MESS OUT THERE, 263 00:16:35,298 --> 00:16:38,171 BUT WE ARE NOT STAYING HERE. 264 00:16:38,214 --> 00:16:39,824 MMM. 265 00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:42,740 REALLY? HELLO. HELLO. JUST-- 266 00:16:42,784 --> 00:16:43,828 OH, NO, DON'T-- YOU'RE GONNA RIP IT. 267 00:16:43,872 --> 00:16:46,048 -DARREN-- OKAY. -OKAY, OKAY. 268 00:16:47,963 --> 00:16:50,705 YOU NEED TO LOOK AT IT. CAN'T YOU SEE IT? 269 00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:52,837 I CARE MORE ABOUT THE LOOK OF OUR WEDDING, 270 00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:55,405 NOT WHAT A BUNCH OF DRUNKEN PHOENIX HIPSTERS THINK 271 00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:56,624 AS THEY TRY TO GET THEIR BODY TEMPERATURE 272 00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:58,060 DOWN TO A COMFORTABLE 107. 273 00:16:58,104 --> 00:17:00,628 ALL RIGHT, WOW. OKAY. 274 00:17:00,671 --> 00:17:02,586 -WOW. -WHAT? 275 00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:06,199 -WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? -NOTHING. NOTHING. 276 00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:11,291 NO, WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO SAY? 277 00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:16,296 IT'S JUST, YOU'D THINK YOU'D GET SOME ARTISTIC BENEFITS MARRYING A GAY MAN. 278 00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:19,081 WELL, WE'RE GONNA GO THERE. 279 00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:22,693 HOW DARE YOU QUESTION A GAY BONE IN MY BODY? 280 00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:23,868 HUH. 281 00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:25,740 YOU BOOKED OUR WEDDING 282 00:17:25,783 --> 00:17:28,047 IN SOME RUNDOWN MOTOR LODGE 283 00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:32,747 IN A FORGOTTEN BLUE COLLAR FREAK SHOW. 284 00:17:32,790 --> 00:17:34,531 AND YOU ARE GOING TO UNBOOK IT... 285 00:17:34,575 --> 00:17:35,924 NOW. 286 00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:41,886 -FINE. -THANK YOU. 287 00:18:40,684 --> 00:18:41,685 DEAN. 288 00:18:46,473 --> 00:18:49,215 HERE, THE CRAZY CLOWN COMB IS ONLY 12 MORE TICKETS. 289 00:18:54,742 --> 00:18:56,657 WHAT'S GOING ON? 290 00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:58,137 HERE, I BROUGHT YOU A SCREWDRIVER. 291 00:18:58,180 --> 00:18:59,964 HERE. HERE YOU GO. 292 00:19:00,008 --> 00:19:03,054 REALLY? WHAT? WHAT? THEY SNAP TOGETHER? WHAT? 293 00:19:03,098 --> 00:19:05,622 TWO WORDS. JACK, HAMMER. 294 00:19:05,666 --> 00:19:07,798 JACKHAMMER. YOU WANT A JACKHAMMER. 295 00:19:07,842 --> 00:19:10,366 SOUNDS LIKE... ALL RIGHT, I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE. 296 00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:11,585 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 297 00:19:11,628 --> 00:19:14,979 WELL, HURRY IT UP. 298 00:19:15,023 --> 00:19:16,851 A TEA PARTY CONVENTION, DARREN, 299 00:19:16,894 --> 00:19:18,983 AND YOU DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS. 300 00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:21,508 I CAN'T BELIEVE I TRUSTED YOU-- I TRUSTED YOU WITH BOOKING OUR WEDDING. 301 00:19:21,551 --> 00:19:23,292 HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW? 302 00:19:23,336 --> 00:19:25,990 MAYBE IF YOU WOULD LET ME WATCH FOX NEWS ONCE IN A BLUE MOON, 303 00:19:26,034 --> 00:19:27,949 I'D BE UP ON THESE SORT OF THINGS. 304 00:19:27,992 --> 00:19:29,777 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I DON'T MEAN WATCHING HANNITY ALL NIGHT LONG, 305 00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:31,170 BUT CAVUTO'S NOT THAT BAD. 306 00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:33,215 OKAY, FINE. YOU KNOW, I HATE FOX NEWS. 307 00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:35,870 BUT I LIKE ANDERSON COOPER... 308 00:19:39,830 --> 00:19:42,877 HOW DID YOU GET SNOOKERED INTO THIS? 309 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:44,444 I DON'T KNOW. 310 00:19:44,487 --> 00:19:46,533 MAYBE I SAW THE CRAZY LOW PACKAGE PRICE, 311 00:19:46,576 --> 00:19:47,795 AND I GOT ALL EXCITED. 312 00:19:47,838 --> 00:19:49,405 YOU WERE SHOPPING FOR OUR WEDDING 313 00:19:49,449 --> 00:19:52,060 LIKE YOU WERE TRYING TO BUY A CHARGER CORD ON EBAY. 314 00:19:52,103 --> 00:19:54,105 NO, I WAS WATCHING SOMETHING, 315 00:19:54,149 --> 00:19:55,846 AND SUDDENLY SOMETHING CAUGHT MY EYE, 316 00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:57,065 AND I JUST STARTED CLICKING ON IT. 317 00:19:57,108 --> 00:19:58,980 YOU KNOW, DEAN, SHIT HAPPENS. 318 00:19:59,023 --> 00:20:02,244 NO, SHIT DOESN'T HAPPEN, DARREN. 319 00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:04,986 NOT ON YOUR WEDDING. IT JUST DOESN'T. 320 00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:08,337 DEAN. 321 00:20:09,556 --> 00:20:11,384 EXCUSE ME. 322 00:20:11,427 --> 00:20:13,429 YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO SELL ANY BARRELS, WOULD YOU? 323 00:20:13,473 --> 00:20:16,606 YOU KNOW, FOR A MAN, OH, I DON'T KNOW, ABOUT MY SIZE? 324 00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:19,392 NO? YOU SHOULD REALLY CONSIDER IT. 325 00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:27,226 WHAT'S WITH THE COT? 326 00:20:27,269 --> 00:20:31,621 DOES HE KNOW? DID YOU TELL HIM THAT-- 327 00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:35,712 THAT THERE'S GAY MEN SLEEPING TOGETHER HERE? 328 00:20:35,756 --> 00:20:39,238 DOES HE KNOW? DID YOU TELL HIM? 329 00:20:39,281 --> 00:20:42,676 -[SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE] -DID YOU TELL HIM ABOUT... 330 00:20:42,719 --> 00:20:45,026 NO, NO. [SPEAKS NATIVE LANGUAGE] 331 00:20:45,069 --> 00:20:48,725 THEN WHY DOES HE THINK HE'S PUTTING THE BED BACK TOGETHER? 332 00:20:48,769 --> 00:20:50,684 SHE CAN'T TELL HIM. 333 00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:55,602 WHAT? KHIN, KHIN, HE'S GONNA FIND OUT EVENTUALLY, RIGHT? 334 00:20:55,645 --> 00:20:58,648 THE WOMAN FROM THE AGENCY'S COMING TOMORROW. THE AGENCY? 335 00:20:58,692 --> 00:21:00,607 SHE'S GONNA APPROVE OUR EXTENSION. 336 00:21:00,650 --> 00:21:02,870 WE CAN'T LOSE GUESTS. 337 00:21:02,913 --> 00:21:04,828 [SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE] 338 00:21:11,139 --> 00:21:12,314 [SHIBBAWITZ] WHAT? 339 00:21:12,358 --> 00:21:14,098 PROBLEM. WE CAN'T TELL HIM. 340 00:21:14,142 --> 00:21:16,275 OH, GOD. I-- 341 00:21:34,945 --> 00:21:36,033 HMM. 342 00:21:46,696 --> 00:21:48,002 GREAT. 343 00:21:59,666 --> 00:22:03,583 OH... MY... GOD. 344 00:22:05,976 --> 00:22:07,108 [DARREN] IT'S AMAZING. 345 00:22:10,503 --> 00:22:13,157 IT'S MAGNIFICENT. 346 00:22:18,075 --> 00:22:19,990 MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. 347 00:22:20,034 --> 00:22:24,212 WE CAN MAKE IT WORK, HUH? IN AN IRONIC WAY, RIGHT? 348 00:22:24,255 --> 00:22:27,128 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 349 00:22:27,171 --> 00:22:29,522 JUST GO WITH IT 350 00:22:29,565 --> 00:22:32,525 AND FIND A SHUTTLE TO TAKE US HERE. 351 00:22:32,568 --> 00:22:34,657 YEAH, WE COULD DO THIS. 352 00:22:34,701 --> 00:22:36,746 WE'RE GAY. YOU'RE RIGHT. 353 00:22:36,790 --> 00:22:38,531 DIDN'T WE INVENT CULTURAL IRONY? 354 00:22:38,574 --> 00:22:40,141 EXACTLY. 355 00:22:40,184 --> 00:22:43,187 I MEAN, IF ANDY WARHOL CAN MAKE AN ORDINARY OLD SOUP CAN 356 00:22:43,231 --> 00:22:45,755 -INTO AN INTERNATIONAL SENSATION... -YES. 357 00:22:45,799 --> 00:22:49,193 IF ANDY COHEN CAN TAKE DESPICABLE, SPOILED HOUSEWIVES 358 00:22:49,237 --> 00:22:52,545 AND TURN IT INTO DELICIOUS ENTERTAINMENT... 359 00:22:52,588 --> 00:22:55,374 WOW, I NEVER REALIZED HOW GAY THE NAME ANDY WAS. 360 00:22:58,420 --> 00:22:59,856 I GET IT. 361 00:22:59,900 --> 00:23:03,686 WE'RE JUST A COUPLE QUEERS GETTING MARRIED. 362 00:23:03,730 --> 00:23:06,733 -IT'S ALL GOOD. -IT'S GREAT. 363 00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:13,566 APPARENTLY... 364 00:23:13,609 --> 00:23:14,958 NOT GAY ENOUGH. 365 00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:17,396 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 366 00:23:17,439 --> 00:23:18,614 NOTHING. 367 00:23:18,658 --> 00:23:19,746 OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE-- 368 00:23:19,789 --> 00:23:21,225 YOU'RE EMBARRASSED. 369 00:23:21,269 --> 00:23:23,053 I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. 370 00:23:23,097 --> 00:23:25,534 YOU'RE LOOKING AROUND TO SEE IF IT'S OKAY. 371 00:23:25,578 --> 00:23:27,057 YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW THAT LOOK? 372 00:23:27,101 --> 00:23:29,538 IT'S THE ONLY LOOK I KNOW. 373 00:23:29,582 --> 00:23:31,192 THERE'S ABOUT A THOUSAND VERSIONS OF IT. 374 00:23:31,235 --> 00:23:33,455 OH, BARREL, BARREL. 375 00:23:33,499 --> 00:23:34,935 DOES ANYBODY HAVE A BARREL? 376 00:23:34,978 --> 00:23:37,459 OH, MAYBE I CAN GO DOWN TO THE CAN JAM. 377 00:23:37,503 --> 00:23:40,114 JOKE ALL YOU WANT, BUT I KNOW WHAT I SAW. 378 00:23:40,157 --> 00:23:42,769 I WAS JUST BEING MINDFUL. 379 00:23:42,812 --> 00:23:44,335 MINDFUL OF WHAT? 380 00:23:44,379 --> 00:23:46,555 IF THE WORLD WILL ACCEPT US? 381 00:23:46,599 --> 00:23:49,515 THERE'S A CONVENTION GOING ON. 382 00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:00,439 WELL, MAYBE YOU'RE NOT MAN ENOUGH... 383 00:24:00,482 --> 00:24:02,049 TO BE AN ANDY. 384 00:24:09,404 --> 00:24:11,972 HOW ABOUT AN ANDY DICK? 385 00:24:28,858 --> 00:24:32,079 HELLO. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? 386 00:24:32,122 --> 00:24:35,082 OH, IT'S PROBABLY NOT BEST TO BE AN ANDY RIGHT NOW. 387 00:24:35,125 --> 00:24:36,518 MORE LIKE A BUCK OR A RAMBO. 388 00:24:36,562 --> 00:24:38,085 PLEASE, THOSE NAMES ARE GAYER THAN ANDY. 389 00:24:38,128 --> 00:24:40,653 -HA, HA! -HI. 390 00:24:40,696 --> 00:24:42,437 UH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 391 00:24:42,481 --> 00:24:45,135 WHAT LIES BEFORE YOU 392 00:24:45,179 --> 00:24:48,878 IS NOT AN EXAMPLE OF THE DECLINE 393 00:24:48,922 --> 00:24:50,924 OF YOUR BELOVED AMERICA. 394 00:24:52,926 --> 00:24:54,536 BUT I RESPECTIVELY OFFER 395 00:24:54,580 --> 00:24:58,322 THAT WHAT LIES BEFORE YOU IS THE ULTIMATE 396 00:24:58,366 --> 00:25:03,110 EXAMPLE OF AMERICAN PROGRESS AND LIBERTY. 397 00:25:03,153 --> 00:25:08,332 CAN THERE BE ANYTHING MORE DEMONSTRATIVE 398 00:25:08,376 --> 00:25:12,336 OF AMERICAN FREEDOM THAN TWO MEN 399 00:25:12,380 --> 00:25:15,688 OPENLY EXPRESSING THEIR LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER 400 00:25:15,731 --> 00:25:18,517 WITHOUT THE FEAR OF GETTING KILLED? 401 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:19,953 OR MAIMED. 402 00:25:22,390 --> 00:25:23,565 OKAY, ON THE COUNT OF THREE... 403 00:25:23,609 --> 00:25:26,263 [SLOW CLAPPING] 404 00:25:32,182 --> 00:25:33,575 -THANK YOU. THANK YOU. -THANK YOU! 405 00:25:33,619 --> 00:25:36,099 -WHOO, WHOO, WHOO! -HUH. 406 00:25:36,143 --> 00:25:38,362 AND WE'RE GETTING MARRIED ON SUNDAY! 407 00:25:38,406 --> 00:25:39,538 [CROWD GASPS] 408 00:25:41,191 --> 00:25:43,585 AND YOU'RE ALL INVITED. SHIT. 409 00:25:43,629 --> 00:25:44,978 [GRUMBLING] 410 00:25:45,021 --> 00:25:47,850 AND, UH, THREE. RUN. 411 00:25:47,894 --> 00:25:49,417 [LAUGHING] 412 00:26:08,218 --> 00:26:09,959 YES. 413 00:26:10,003 --> 00:26:13,746 OKAY, CAN YOU TAKE A PEEK UP THERE, 414 00:26:13,789 --> 00:26:15,486 JUST FOR ME? I'LL LIFT YOU UP? 415 00:26:15,530 --> 00:26:18,141 -JUST A QUICK PEEK. -IS THAT OKAY? 416 00:26:18,185 --> 00:26:20,317 NO, IT'S NOT OKAY. DON'T EVER DO THIS. 417 00:26:20,361 --> 00:26:21,667 BUT WE HAVE A WEDDING TO PUT ON RIGHT? 418 00:26:21,710 --> 00:26:22,972 AND I GOTTA KNOW IF THEY CAME BACK, 419 00:26:23,016 --> 00:26:24,191 SO COME ON. I'LL LIFT YOU. 420 00:26:24,234 --> 00:26:26,759 PUT THIS AWAY. 421 00:26:26,802 --> 00:26:28,195 HERE. HERE WE GO. ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. 422 00:26:28,238 --> 00:26:29,413 ALL RIGHT, READY? 423 00:26:29,457 --> 00:26:32,591 -[GRUNTS] -[BACK CRACKS] 424 00:26:32,634 --> 00:26:34,767 UNH! WHAT DO YOU SEE? 425 00:26:34,810 --> 00:26:36,464 I SEE TWO MEN. 426 00:26:36,507 --> 00:26:37,987 REALLY? OKAY, I'M LETTING YOU DOWN. 427 00:26:38,031 --> 00:26:39,336 THEY'RE NAKED ON THE BED. 428 00:26:39,380 --> 00:26:40,773 REALLY? WELL, I'M LETTING YOU DOWN. 429 00:26:40,816 --> 00:26:42,426 WAIT, WAIT. ONE SECOND. THEY'RE SPOONING. 430 00:26:42,470 --> 00:26:45,604 -GET DOWN. -[THUD] 431 00:26:47,257 --> 00:26:49,956 GO, GO, GO. JUST GO. 432 00:26:53,829 --> 00:26:55,396 GOOD MORNING, DARREN. 433 00:26:55,439 --> 00:26:57,224 DEAN-- DARREN. 434 00:26:57,267 --> 00:26:59,008 WHAT'S GOING ON OUT HERE? 435 00:26:59,052 --> 00:27:00,662 -I WAS GONNA SLIP THIS UNDER YOUR DOOR. -OH. 436 00:27:00,706 --> 00:27:03,447 THIS IS THE PLAYLIST FOR THE WEDDING RECEPTION. 437 00:27:03,491 --> 00:27:05,624 YEAH, THERE WE MAKE SOME SUGGESTIONS OF SONGS, 438 00:27:05,667 --> 00:27:07,800 YOU KNOW, LIKE, FOR INSTANCE, 439 00:27:07,843 --> 00:27:12,631 BOBBY GOLDSBORO, "LAST DANCE." HIS COVER. 440 00:27:12,674 --> 00:27:15,024 YOU CAN'T-- I'M TELLING YOU, 441 00:27:15,068 --> 00:27:17,331 WHEN YOU HEAR IT, THERE'S A QUALITY. 442 00:27:17,374 --> 00:27:19,986 AND THEN THERE'S STUFF FOR CONTEMPORARY STUFF, 443 00:27:20,029 --> 00:27:21,814 RIGHT? YOU KNOW? LIKE "BEYONCE" RIGHT THERE. 444 00:27:21,857 --> 00:27:24,512 OKAY. GREAT, GREAT, GREAT. 445 00:27:24,555 --> 00:27:26,296 [DEAN] MY PEE IS STILL GLOW IN THE DARK. 446 00:27:26,340 --> 00:27:27,994 AND I'M TRUSTING YOU, DARREN. 447 00:27:28,037 --> 00:27:31,998 DEAN? DEAN, COME HERE. IT'S SHIBBAWITZ. 448 00:27:32,041 --> 00:27:34,217 OH, HELLO. WHAT'S GOING ON? 449 00:27:34,261 --> 00:27:38,569 WELL, I JUST DECIDED THAT I AM GOING TO THROW IN 450 00:27:38,613 --> 00:27:40,615 AN UPGRADE FOR YOU BOTH-- 451 00:27:40,659 --> 00:27:45,315 THE EXCLUSIVE RIGHTS TO THE RAINBOW BRIDGE JACUZZI. 452 00:27:46,882 --> 00:27:48,057 GIVE YOU GUYS A CHANCE 453 00:27:48,101 --> 00:27:51,452 TO KIND OF BE FLAM... BOUYANT. 454 00:27:56,239 --> 00:27:57,371 DO YOU WANT SOME? 455 00:27:57,414 --> 00:27:59,503 NO, NO. 456 00:27:59,547 --> 00:28:00,853 GREAT. MORE FOR ME. 457 00:28:06,859 --> 00:28:10,514 SO, YOU SIGN THIS HERE AND HERE, 458 00:28:10,558 --> 00:28:13,953 AND THAT ALLOWS ME TO PERFORM THE CEREMONY. 459 00:28:13,996 --> 00:28:18,174 I SEE THAT YOU BOTH CHECKED NONDENOMINATIONAL CEREMONY, 460 00:28:18,218 --> 00:28:22,309 SO I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO PUT ON MY NONDENOMINATIONAL CAP. 461 00:28:22,352 --> 00:28:23,876 WELL, ACTUALLY, I WAS THINKING, 462 00:28:23,919 --> 00:28:25,878 MAYBE WE COULD JUST HAVE, LIKE, A LITTLE SOMETHING. 463 00:28:25,921 --> 00:28:28,881 YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT THE WHOLE THING TO BE DEVOID OF GOD. 464 00:28:28,924 --> 00:28:32,014 SURE, I CAN THROW IN GOD REFERENCES ALL DAY, IF YOU LIKE. 465 00:28:32,058 --> 00:28:36,236 GREAT. GREAT. VERY WELL. 466 00:28:36,279 --> 00:28:42,242 I GOT THE PAPERS, YOUR MARRIAGE PAPERS BACK FROM THE STATE, 467 00:28:42,285 --> 00:28:47,726 AND APPARENTLY THERE'S A GLITCH OF SORTS. 468 00:28:47,769 --> 00:28:51,164 I'M SURE YOU GUYS HAD A CHANCE TO DISCUSS THIS BY NOW. 469 00:28:51,207 --> 00:28:52,774 DISCUSS WHAT? 470 00:28:52,818 --> 00:28:55,690 I DON'T KNOW. I THOUGHT YOU KNEW. WHAT? 471 00:28:55,734 --> 00:28:57,779 -I THOUGHT YOU KNEW. -NO. 472 00:28:57,823 --> 00:29:01,043 REALLY? YOU HAVEN'T GONE OVER THIS? 473 00:29:01,087 --> 00:29:03,263 [DEAN] WHAT IS IT? 474 00:29:03,306 --> 00:29:07,746 DARREN, WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAY SOMETHING? 475 00:29:07,789 --> 00:29:09,095 I DON'T KNOW. 476 00:29:09,138 --> 00:29:11,184 I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT. 477 00:29:11,227 --> 00:29:13,969 REALLY? OKAY. WELL-- 478 00:29:14,013 --> 00:29:19,235 OH. OH, SHIT. 479 00:29:19,279 --> 00:29:22,412 WHAT? IS SOMEBODY GOING TO CLUE ME IN? 480 00:29:22,456 --> 00:29:25,024 WHAT, ARE YOU A RUSSIAN SLEEPER AGENT? A PISCES? 481 00:29:25,067 --> 00:29:27,809 OH, MY GOD. YOU'RE A REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER? 482 00:29:27,853 --> 00:29:30,812 NO, BUT I MIGHT AS WELL BE. 483 00:29:30,856 --> 00:29:32,379 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 484 00:29:32,422 --> 00:29:35,774 WELL, HOW SHOULD WE PUT THIS? 485 00:29:35,817 --> 00:29:37,601 DARREN IS MARRIED. 486 00:29:37,645 --> 00:29:40,604 WHA-- 487 00:29:40,648 --> 00:29:44,434 YOU'RE MAR-- WHAT? 488 00:29:44,478 --> 00:29:46,088 WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN, YOU SON OF A BITCH? 489 00:29:46,132 --> 00:29:47,394 LOOK, LOOK, LOOK. 490 00:29:47,437 --> 00:29:50,789 THIS DOES NOT HAVE TO BE A BIG DEAL. 491 00:29:50,832 --> 00:29:53,226 OKAY, LISTEN, IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL. 492 00:29:53,269 --> 00:29:54,836 IT WAS TO A WOMAN. 493 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,708 ACTUALLY, YEAH. A MAGGIE SMITH. 494 00:29:57,752 --> 00:30:00,537 OH, AND THAT'S SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER? 495 00:30:00,581 --> 00:30:03,062 -NO-- -IT'S SHOWING UP THAT THE DIVORCE 496 00:30:03,105 --> 00:30:04,977 HASN'T BEEN OFFICIALLY TERMINATED, 497 00:30:05,020 --> 00:30:06,282 SO MAGGIE JUST HAS TO COME 498 00:30:06,326 --> 00:30:09,503 AND SIGN A LITTLE DOCUMENT HERE, 499 00:30:09,546 --> 00:30:12,027 AND EVERYTHING CAN GO BACK LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED. 500 00:30:12,071 --> 00:30:13,812 OKAY, SEE? SEE? LOOK. 501 00:30:13,855 --> 00:30:15,465 LOOK, I'M SORRY, DEAN. 502 00:30:15,509 --> 00:30:18,729 I THOUGHT THAT SHE WOULD'VE SIGNED THE DAMN THINGS 503 00:30:18,773 --> 00:30:21,820 AND SENT THEM IN. I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT IT. 504 00:30:21,863 --> 00:30:25,040 YOU FORGOT ABOUT IT? YOU FORGOT THAT YOU WERE STILL MARRIED? 505 00:30:25,084 --> 00:30:27,434 NO, I DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT IT LIKE THAT. 506 00:30:27,477 --> 00:30:30,437 -JUST GIVE US A SECOND. -OKAY, SURE. 507 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:32,004 LOOK, AFTER THE MARRIAGE FAILED, 508 00:30:32,047 --> 00:30:35,485 I JUST WENT ON WITH MY LIFE, YOU KNOW, AS A GAY MAN. 509 00:30:35,529 --> 00:30:37,705 AND I CAME TO ACCEPT THE HARSH REALITY 510 00:30:37,748 --> 00:30:41,056 THAT I WOULD PROBABLY NEVER GET MARRIED AGAIN. 511 00:30:41,100 --> 00:30:44,016 GUYS, IF YOU CAN REMEMBER, IT WAS JUST A SHORT TIME AGO 512 00:30:44,059 --> 00:30:47,149 THAT IT WAS UNIMAGINABLE FOR TWO MEN TO GET MARRIED. 513 00:30:47,193 --> 00:30:48,629 OH, DON'T USE THAT CARD. 514 00:30:48,672 --> 00:30:51,023 I AM USING THAT CARD BECAUSE IT'S TRUE. 515 00:30:51,066 --> 00:30:55,549 -AND, LOOK, I JUST-- -WHO-- WHAT ARE YOU? 516 00:30:55,592 --> 00:30:59,205 I'M THE SAME GUY I WAS FIVE MINUTES AGO, DEAN. 517 00:30:59,248 --> 00:31:00,684 AND WHAT IS THAT? 518 00:31:00,728 --> 00:31:02,904 BI, CLOSETED STRAIGHT, A LIAR. 519 00:31:02,948 --> 00:31:05,254 OKAY, STOP IT. STOP IT. THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 520 00:31:05,298 --> 00:31:09,258 YEAH, OKAY, WELL, WHAT DARREN IS SAYING 521 00:31:09,302 --> 00:31:13,001 IS THAT HE'S A COMMITTED GAY MAN AND, UH-- 522 00:31:13,045 --> 00:31:15,264 WHAT WAS IT LIKE? 523 00:31:15,308 --> 00:31:18,050 IT ONLY LASTED TWO YEARS. WE WERE YOUNG. 524 00:31:18,093 --> 00:31:19,573 I MEAN, SHE WAS NICE, 525 00:31:19,616 --> 00:31:21,705 BUT IT WAS COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS AND WRONG. 526 00:31:21,749 --> 00:31:24,491 NO, THE WEDDING. 527 00:31:24,534 --> 00:31:26,275 I ASSUME YOU HAD A WEDDING. 528 00:31:26,319 --> 00:31:29,888 YEAH, IT WAS A LOT OF PEOPLE, 529 00:31:29,931 --> 00:31:31,715 PERFUNCTORY RELIGIOUS SYMBOLISM, 530 00:31:31,759 --> 00:31:33,239 TON OF FOOD, 531 00:31:33,282 --> 00:31:35,110 YOU KNOW, IT WAS A-- A REAL WEDDING. 532 00:31:35,154 --> 00:31:38,070 [SHIBBAWITZ] A REAL WEDDING. 533 00:31:38,113 --> 00:31:42,509 AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, A "REAL" WEDDING? 534 00:31:42,552 --> 00:31:44,250 WHAT IS THIS? 535 00:31:49,516 --> 00:31:50,778 -[HORN HONKS] -OH, LOOK! 536 00:31:50,821 --> 00:31:53,302 YOUR FRIENDS HAVE ARRIVED. 537 00:31:53,346 --> 00:31:56,740 HEY, GUYS. GUYS, COME ON. 538 00:31:56,784 --> 00:31:59,613 THIS IS GONNA BE A GREAT WEDDING. 539 00:31:59,656 --> 00:32:01,528 DEAN, I WILL CALL MAGGIE. 540 00:32:01,571 --> 00:32:03,530 I WILL MAKE SURE THAT SHE SIGNS THE PAPERS. 541 00:32:03,573 --> 00:32:05,967 IT'LL BE GREAT. IT'LL BE LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED. 542 00:32:06,011 --> 00:32:08,796 A REAL WEDDING, HUH? 543 00:32:08,839 --> 00:32:11,799 JUST WOW. 544 00:32:16,630 --> 00:32:18,980 HOW AM I GONNA MAKE THIS CALL? 545 00:32:19,024 --> 00:32:23,550 I LEFT HER. SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW I'M GAY. 546 00:32:23,593 --> 00:32:25,378 HOW AM I GONNA DO THIS? 547 00:32:28,163 --> 00:32:29,773 LOVE FINDS A WAY. 548 00:32:33,603 --> 00:32:36,345 A WOMAN! YEAH! 549 00:32:36,389 --> 00:32:40,219 -IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO, BUT... -VERY BAD. 550 00:32:40,262 --> 00:32:42,569 HEY, WAIT, YOU GUYS ARE NOT DOWN ON DARREN, ARE YOU? 551 00:32:42,612 --> 00:32:46,312 FOR WHAT? FOR REACHING INTO THOSE CHERRY TOMATOES AT THE SALAD BAR? 552 00:32:46,355 --> 00:32:47,617 I MEAN, THE GUY'S BEEN THERE. 553 00:32:47,661 --> 00:32:49,358 HE'S DONE THAT. THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT. 554 00:32:49,402 --> 00:32:51,970 YOU DON'T WANT HIM THINKING AND DOING AND QUESTIONING 555 00:32:52,013 --> 00:32:53,972 AND GAY MIND-FUCKING YOUR MARRIAGE. 556 00:32:54,015 --> 00:32:55,799 YOU WANT THAT IN YOUR PAST 557 00:32:55,843 --> 00:32:58,628 BECAUSE YOU ARE HIS FUTURE NOW. 558 00:32:58,672 --> 00:33:00,282 NAMASTE. 559 00:33:00,326 --> 00:33:03,851 BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW HE'S DONE EXPERIMENTING? 560 00:33:03,894 --> 00:33:05,461 I MEAN, LOOK AT YOU. 561 00:33:05,505 --> 00:33:07,768 I JUST HAVE A BIGGER SALAD BAR. 562 00:33:07,811 --> 00:33:10,031 MORE LIKE A VEGAS BUFFET. 563 00:33:10,075 --> 00:33:11,380 JUST AS LONG AS THEY KEEP ON BRINGING OUT 564 00:33:11,424 --> 00:33:13,861 THOSE BREAKFAST SAUSAGES... 565 00:33:15,863 --> 00:33:18,387 HEY, YOU GUYS WANNA JOIN THE PARTY? 566 00:33:18,431 --> 00:33:19,823 -YOU'RE ALL WELCOME. -[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING] 567 00:33:19,867 --> 00:33:23,436 GO AHEAD INSIDE NOW. PARTY! 568 00:33:23,479 --> 00:33:25,264 SOUNDS GOOD, MY BROTHER. 569 00:33:25,307 --> 00:33:27,309 MORE LIKE HALF-BROTHER. 570 00:33:27,353 --> 00:33:29,833 BUT STILL PART OF THAT GLORIOUS RAINBOW. 571 00:33:29,877 --> 00:33:32,184 COME ON, PEOPLE, NOW! 572 00:33:32,227 --> 00:33:34,751 YEAH, THE RAINBOW BRIDGE MOTEL. 573 00:33:34,795 --> 00:33:38,016 WOW. I'M NOT SURE MY HEALTH INSURANCE 574 00:33:38,059 --> 00:33:39,800 -COVERS ME FOR THIS WEDDING. -OKAY. 575 00:33:39,843 --> 00:33:43,021 [DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES] 576 00:33:46,415 --> 00:33:47,416 -HELLO, MAGGIE? -[ALARM BLARES] 577 00:33:47,460 --> 00:33:50,419 HI, IT'S DARREN. 578 00:33:50,463 --> 00:33:52,204 DARREN. 579 00:33:52,247 --> 00:33:54,902 UH, DARREN YOUR FORMER HUSBAND DARREN. 580 00:33:56,469 --> 00:33:58,862 YEAH. 581 00:33:58,906 --> 00:34:01,387 WELL, I-- I'M DOING. 582 00:34:01,430 --> 00:34:04,607 I'M DOING. HOW ABOUT YOU? 583 00:34:04,651 --> 00:34:06,305 HELLO? 584 00:34:06,348 --> 00:34:08,263 I GOT SOME INTERFERENCE. HOLD ON. 585 00:34:11,092 --> 00:34:12,659 IS THAT BETTER? 586 00:34:12,702 --> 00:34:14,878 GREAT, GREAT. 587 00:34:14,922 --> 00:34:17,055 OH, HI, MAGGIE-- 588 00:34:17,098 --> 00:34:18,447 -[SQUELCHING] -[GRUNTS] 589 00:34:18,491 --> 00:34:19,666 OH, GOD! 590 00:34:19,709 --> 00:34:21,059 NO, NO, NO, DON'T HANG UP. 591 00:34:21,102 --> 00:34:23,887 [SHIBBAWITZ] WHAT? 592 00:34:23,931 --> 00:34:25,889 WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE? 593 00:34:25,933 --> 00:34:27,674 THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE AN EASY JOB. 594 00:34:27,717 --> 00:34:28,805 YOU SAID NO PROBLEM. 595 00:34:28,849 --> 00:34:31,939 THIS IS THE ROCK HUDSON UPGRADE. 596 00:34:31,982 --> 00:34:33,245 HE JUST WANTED TO TAKE IT APART 597 00:34:33,288 --> 00:34:34,898 TO FIND THE CLOG IN THE PIPE. 598 00:34:34,942 --> 00:34:37,162 HE WANTS TO KNOW THE LAST TIME IT WAS WORKING. 599 00:34:37,205 --> 00:34:39,120 I DON'T KNOW. 600 00:34:39,164 --> 00:34:41,818 IT JUST, LIKE, FROZE UP DURING IN THE BLIZZARD OF '77, 601 00:34:41,862 --> 00:34:45,257 AND I DON'T THINK IT EVER MELTED INSIDE. 602 00:34:45,300 --> 00:34:48,695 -[SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE] -DON'T TELL HIM THAT! 603 00:34:48,738 --> 00:34:51,915 EVEN THOUGH I THINK THAT'S ACTUALLY WHAT HAPPENED. 604 00:34:51,959 --> 00:34:54,831 WHAT IS HE-- IS HE-- 605 00:34:54,875 --> 00:34:56,529 AT LEAST I GOT THE YEAR RIGHT. 606 00:34:56,572 --> 00:34:59,097 TO THE GAY MARRIED LIFE! 607 00:34:59,140 --> 00:35:02,143 [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING] 608 00:35:03,753 --> 00:35:06,930 RUSSELL, MAYA... 609 00:35:06,974 --> 00:35:09,759 LET'S ALL GROW OLD TOGETHER. 610 00:35:09,803 --> 00:35:12,936 -YEAH. -YES. LET'S! 611 00:35:12,980 --> 00:35:15,504 DOES THIS EVEN COUNT AS A GAY WEDDING? 612 00:35:15,548 --> 00:35:19,117 I MEAN, TECHNICALLY, AREN'T THEY A HETEROSEXUAL COUPLE? 613 00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:20,727 I DON'T KNOW, BUT WHAT'S YOUR POINT? 614 00:35:20,770 --> 00:35:23,121 I'M JUST SAYING, TECHNICALLY THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO WAIT 615 00:35:23,164 --> 00:35:24,513 FOR THE SUPREME COURT RULING, 616 00:35:24,557 --> 00:35:27,734 ONLY UNTIL RUSSELL'S HORMONES KICKED IN. 617 00:35:27,777 --> 00:35:30,258 WHY DON'T YOU JUST TAKE THE "T" OUT OF LGBT, HUH? 618 00:35:30,302 --> 00:35:34,044 -THANK YOU. -OOH, NOW, THAT WOULDN'T BE VERY NICE. 619 00:35:34,088 --> 00:35:36,177 SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? 620 00:35:36,221 --> 00:35:38,179 I DON'T KNOW. I GUESS, TALK TO DARREN, 621 00:35:38,223 --> 00:35:40,747 FIND OUT IF OUR WEDDING IS REAL. 622 00:35:40,790 --> 00:35:44,707 IF YOU ASK ME, HE PLAYS IT A LITTLE TOO STRAIGHT 623 00:35:44,751 --> 00:35:46,318 TO BE ON OUR SIDE OF THE FIELD. 624 00:35:46,361 --> 00:35:48,233 I MEAN, NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT. 625 00:35:48,276 --> 00:35:49,756 I MEAN, I KIND OF LIKE THEM LIKE THAT, TOO, 626 00:35:49,799 --> 00:35:53,977 BUT TO MARRY? 627 00:35:54,021 --> 00:35:56,023 YOU BE CAREFUL. 628 00:35:56,066 --> 00:35:57,329 OOH, OOH! OOH, OOH! 629 00:35:57,372 --> 00:36:00,114 OOH, OOH! OOH, OOH! 630 00:36:03,335 --> 00:36:05,119 -[MUSIC CONTINUES, MUTED] -SO, I'VE DECIDED-- 631 00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:06,990 [DARREN] I HAVE TO GET IN THE SHOWER. 632 00:36:07,034 --> 00:36:09,341 IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO ME THAT WE HAVE A REAL WEDDING. 633 00:36:09,384 --> 00:36:12,953 -DEAN, I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW. -WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? 634 00:36:12,996 --> 00:36:14,650 I NEED TO TAKE A SHOWER. 635 00:36:14,694 --> 00:36:16,043 -NO-- -RIGHT NOW. 636 00:36:16,086 --> 00:36:18,219 NO, YOU NEED TO HEAR ME. 637 00:36:18,263 --> 00:36:19,699 I CAN'T. 638 00:36:22,049 --> 00:36:23,790 WHAT IS THAT SMELL? 639 00:36:23,833 --> 00:36:27,794 -WHAT-- IS THAT YOU? -YES, IT'S ME. OKAY? 640 00:36:27,837 --> 00:36:30,362 AMAZINGLY, ONE OF YOUR TOXIC PARANOID FANTASIES 641 00:36:30,405 --> 00:36:34,017 HAS ACTUALLY MATERIALIZED... 642 00:36:34,061 --> 00:36:35,367 ALL OVER ME, 643 00:36:35,410 --> 00:36:36,803 AND I HAVE TO GET IN THE SHOWER. 644 00:36:36,846 --> 00:36:38,413 RIGHT NOW. 645 00:36:40,067 --> 00:36:42,809 BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT MAGGIE'S AGREED 646 00:36:42,852 --> 00:36:44,376 TO SIGN THE PAPERS AND DRIVE UP. 647 00:36:44,419 --> 00:36:47,030 -REALLY? -YEAH. 648 00:36:47,074 --> 00:36:49,990 SHE JUST NEVER REMARRIED, SO SHE NEVER SENT THEM IN. 649 00:36:50,033 --> 00:36:53,820 -SHE'LL SIGN EVERYTHING. -WHAT DO YOU THINK IT WAS? 650 00:36:53,863 --> 00:36:56,823 MY CHARM. BEING NICE. 651 00:36:56,866 --> 00:36:59,173 NO, THE HORRIBLE LIQUID ON YOU. WHAT IS IT? 652 00:36:59,217 --> 00:37:02,611 SOME SORT OF SLUDGE. IT SEEMS TO BE COMING OFF. 653 00:37:02,655 --> 00:37:05,048 I TOLD YOU THIS PLACE IS KILLING US! 654 00:37:05,092 --> 00:37:07,181 WHERE DID IT COME FROM? OUT OF THE JACUZZI? 655 00:37:07,225 --> 00:37:08,748 UP FROM THE CRACKS IN THE SIDEWALK? 656 00:37:08,791 --> 00:37:12,055 -OH, NO, NOT THE BED. -[ALARM BLARES] 657 00:37:12,099 --> 00:37:13,840 THERE'S BEEN A SPILL AT THE CHEMICAL PLANT! 658 00:37:13,883 --> 00:37:16,190 WE'VE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE NOW! 659 00:37:16,234 --> 00:37:18,410 STOP IT! IT'S ALMOST ALL OFF. 660 00:37:18,453 --> 00:37:21,413 I WAS TRYING TO GET RECEPTION AND PRIVACY AND AWAY FROM THE MUSIC, 661 00:37:21,456 --> 00:37:23,066 AND SOMEHOW I WALKED OUT THERE. 662 00:37:23,110 --> 00:37:25,634 RELAX, I WAS, LIKE, A HUNDRED YARDS FROM THE MOTEL. 663 00:37:25,678 --> 00:37:27,419 BELIEVE ME, NO ONE'S VENTURING OUT THERE. 664 00:37:27,462 --> 00:37:31,292 -[PEOPLE CHEERING] -[MUSIC CONTINUES] 665 00:37:31,336 --> 00:37:34,861 LIBERATE YOURSELF! NO FEAR! 666 00:37:34,904 --> 00:37:37,777 -[CHEERING] -[MUSIC CONTINUES] 667 00:37:37,820 --> 00:37:40,475 UP, UP, UP, UP, UP. UP, UP, UP, UP, UP. 668 00:37:44,479 --> 00:37:47,221 MY GOD. 669 00:37:47,265 --> 00:37:49,615 TAKE THIS. 670 00:37:53,314 --> 00:37:56,012 I BELIEVE THERE'S A MISTAKE HERE. 671 00:37:56,056 --> 00:37:59,102 IS THERE ANOTHER RAINBOW BRIDGE HOTEL 672 00:37:59,146 --> 00:38:00,278 OR RAINBOW BRIDGE MOTEL. 673 00:38:00,321 --> 00:38:01,975 OUR GPS BROUGHT US HERE. 674 00:38:02,018 --> 00:38:04,760 I MEAN, WE KNOW THAT THERE'S AN ACTUAL RAINBOW BRIDGE, 675 00:38:04,804 --> 00:38:08,286 BUT THIS CANNOT POSSIBLY BE IT. 676 00:38:08,329 --> 00:38:11,289 WELCOME TO THE ONE AND ONLY RAINBOW BRIDGE MOTEL. 677 00:38:11,332 --> 00:38:16,294 AND YOU TWO MUST BE DEAN-- 678 00:38:16,337 --> 00:38:19,906 DARREN'S PARENTS. AM I RIGHT? 679 00:38:19,949 --> 00:38:24,214 -DARREN'S? ARE-- -THIS IS IT? 680 00:38:26,956 --> 00:38:28,697 JUST ONE SECOND. 681 00:38:28,741 --> 00:38:30,308 THEY'RE ABOUT TO ANNOUNCE THE NEW RECRUITS FOR NEXT YEAR. 682 00:38:30,351 --> 00:38:33,311 -[RADIO CHATTER] -TAKE THAT THING OFF NOW! 683 00:38:33,354 --> 00:38:35,225 -THIS IS YOUR SON'S WEDDING! -IN A SECOND! 684 00:38:35,269 --> 00:38:37,097 THEY'RE GONNA NAME THE NEW QUARTERBACK. 685 00:38:37,140 --> 00:38:38,751 DON'T YOU CARE? IT'S THE QUARTERBACK. 686 00:38:38,794 --> 00:38:40,013 THIS COULD DETERMINE THE FATE OF THE BUCKEYES 687 00:38:40,056 --> 00:38:41,536 FOR THE NEXT THREE YEARS! 688 00:38:41,580 --> 00:38:44,931 -YOU ARE SICK. -WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 689 00:38:44,974 --> 00:38:46,933 IT'S A MIRACLE THAT I'M EVEN PICKING UP COLUMBUS 690 00:38:46,976 --> 00:38:48,891 RIGHT ON THE BORDER OF CANADA. 691 00:38:48,935 --> 00:38:50,763 HE SAYS THIS IS THE PLACE. 692 00:38:50,806 --> 00:38:54,332 OKAY, FINE. WHERE'S OUR ROOM? 693 00:38:54,375 --> 00:38:56,769 HAVE YOU EVEN SEEN WHERE YOU ARE? 694 00:38:56,812 --> 00:38:59,075 YEAH, IT'S A DUMP. 695 00:38:59,119 --> 00:39:01,817 AT LEAST IT'S NOT COSTING US ANYTHING. 696 00:39:01,861 --> 00:39:03,341 GIVE ME BACK THE HAT NOW! 697 00:39:03,384 --> 00:39:05,952 HEY, THEY GOT MAZURSKY. THEY GOT MAZURSKY! 698 00:39:05,995 --> 00:39:09,172 REALLY? I MISSED IT? I MISSED IT? 699 00:39:09,216 --> 00:39:11,392 I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED IT. 700 00:39:11,436 --> 00:39:13,699 [RADIO CHATTER CONTINUES] 701 00:39:14,787 --> 00:39:15,744 TRUTHFULLY, I DON'T KNOW 702 00:39:15,788 --> 00:39:16,832 WHAT TO BELIEVE ANYMORE. 703 00:39:16,876 --> 00:39:19,008 YOUR GRAND OMISSION? 704 00:39:21,141 --> 00:39:22,969 IT'S A LITTLE HARD TO STOMACH. 705 00:39:24,274 --> 00:39:27,365 UGH, FINE. 706 00:39:29,454 --> 00:39:32,805 I'M SORRY. BUT NOW YOU KNOW EVERYTHING. 707 00:39:32,848 --> 00:39:34,546 AND ALL THAT OTHER STUFF'S JUST-- 708 00:39:34,589 --> 00:39:35,808 IT'S IN THE PAST. 709 00:39:39,420 --> 00:39:41,553 I NEED A CROSS. 710 00:39:41,596 --> 00:39:43,772 I NEED A REAL PRIEST AND A REAL CHURCH, 711 00:39:43,816 --> 00:39:46,775 AND DARE I SAY IT, A REAL WEDDING. 712 00:39:46,819 --> 00:39:49,474 WHAT? UM, REALLY? 713 00:39:49,517 --> 00:39:52,346 NO. THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID. 714 00:39:52,390 --> 00:39:54,566 I THOUGHT THAT WE AGREED ON A NONRELIGIOUS CEREMONY. 715 00:39:54,609 --> 00:39:56,002 WELL, THINGS HAVE CHANGED, HAVEN'T THEY? 716 00:39:56,045 --> 00:39:59,222 AND WHAT DO YOU CARE? 717 00:39:59,266 --> 00:40:00,267 A CROSS? 718 00:40:03,096 --> 00:40:06,229 IT'S WHAT I NEED, DARREN. 719 00:40:06,273 --> 00:40:10,582 WELL, MY MOM, 720 00:40:10,625 --> 00:40:12,453 SHE'S GONNA FLIP OUT. 721 00:40:12,497 --> 00:40:14,542 YOUR MOTHER? 722 00:40:14,586 --> 00:40:19,025 WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH YOUR MOTHER? 723 00:40:19,068 --> 00:40:20,461 REMEMBER WHEN I TOLD YOU YOU KNEW EVERYTHING? 724 00:40:20,505 --> 00:40:22,332 OH, GOD. 725 00:40:22,376 --> 00:40:26,206 SO, MY MOM, SHE THINKS THAT MY FAMILY, 726 00:40:26,249 --> 00:40:27,599 THAT, UH-- THAT ME-- 727 00:40:27,642 --> 00:40:31,820 THAT WE ARE JEWISH. 728 00:40:31,864 --> 00:40:34,040 -JEWISH? -IN HER MIND. 729 00:40:34,083 --> 00:40:35,737 HER FATHER'S MOTHER WAS BORN JEWISH, 730 00:40:35,781 --> 00:40:37,826 WHICH MAKES HER FATHER TECHNICALLY JEWISH, 731 00:40:37,870 --> 00:40:39,262 AND IN THE REFORM TRADITION, 732 00:40:39,306 --> 00:40:41,264 SHE CAN BE A JEW IF THE FATHER'S JEWISH, 733 00:40:41,308 --> 00:40:43,615 WHICH MEANS SHE IS A JEW 'CAUSE SHE WANTS TO BE, 734 00:40:43,658 --> 00:40:46,052 AND THAT'S OKAY ACCORDING TO THE REFORM WORLD, 735 00:40:46,095 --> 00:40:48,228 WHICH MAKES ME JEWISH BECAUSE I HAVE A JEWISH MOTHER. 736 00:40:48,271 --> 00:40:50,448 OKAY? 737 00:40:50,491 --> 00:40:51,927 GROW SOME BALLS, DARREN. 738 00:40:51,971 --> 00:40:53,755 THEY'VE DRIVEN VERY FAR TO GET HERE, 739 00:40:53,799 --> 00:40:55,453 ALL THE WAY FROM COLUMBUS, OHIO, 740 00:40:55,496 --> 00:40:57,193 AND THEY'RE STAYING HERE. 741 00:40:57,237 --> 00:40:58,630 [DEAN] SO? 742 00:40:58,673 --> 00:41:01,850 MY MOTHER JUST DROVE IN FROM OTTAWA, ONTARIO. 743 00:41:01,894 --> 00:41:03,852 OH, I SEE. 744 00:41:03,896 --> 00:41:06,072 YOU THINK YOUR FAMILY'S MAKING A BIGGER SACRIFICE 745 00:41:06,115 --> 00:41:08,857 BECAUSE THEY'RE STAYING IN THE MOTEL 666, 746 00:41:08,901 --> 00:41:10,642 SO WE SHOULD CATER TO THEM MORE. 747 00:41:10,685 --> 00:41:13,645 WELL, MY MOTHER IS STAYING WITH HER WITCH OF AN AUNT JUDY 748 00:41:13,688 --> 00:41:18,084 IN AN APARTMENT ABOVE A BURGER KING/FRANKENSTEIN FUNHOUSE COMBO 749 00:41:18,127 --> 00:41:19,607 IN NIAGARA FALLS, ONTARIO. 750 00:41:19,651 --> 00:41:20,956 SHE JUST TEXTED ME 751 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:22,392 AND SAID SHE ENTERED THE APARTMENT 752 00:41:22,436 --> 00:41:25,308 THROUGH A GIANT WEDGE OF MELTED CHEESE. 753 00:41:25,352 --> 00:41:26,353 IT'S PRETTY CLOSE. 754 00:41:26,396 --> 00:41:29,661 LOOK, IT'S NOT THAT. OKAY? 755 00:41:29,704 --> 00:41:32,490 IT TOOK MY MOTHER YEARS TO ACCEPT ME BEING GAY, 756 00:41:32,533 --> 00:41:36,494 AND SHE'S JUST NOW COMING AROUND TO ACCEPTING ME MARRYING ANOTHER MAN, 757 00:41:36,537 --> 00:41:39,322 AND SHE'S NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO HANDLE A GAY WEDDING 758 00:41:39,366 --> 00:41:41,107 AND AN INTERFAITH WEDDING. 759 00:41:42,543 --> 00:41:44,893 BUT I'M NOT JEWISH. 760 00:41:44,937 --> 00:41:46,504 WE'RE ALREADY HAVING AN INTERFAITH WEDDING. 761 00:41:46,547 --> 00:41:49,115 I KNOW, BUT NOT CALLING ATTENTION TO IT 762 00:41:49,158 --> 00:41:51,117 SOMEHOW MAKES IT MORE PALATABLE. 763 00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:54,686 THIS IS INSANE. HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS? 764 00:41:54,729 --> 00:41:57,906 BECAUSE I KNOW! I GUESS I'M JUST JEWISH ENOUGH 765 00:41:57,950 --> 00:42:00,518 TO KNOW WHAT OFFENDS A JEWISH MOTHER. 766 00:42:00,561 --> 00:42:03,912 HOW DID YOU AND MAGGIE WORK AROUND THIS? 767 00:42:03,956 --> 00:42:05,914 WELL, SHE AGREED TO BE JEWISH, 768 00:42:05,958 --> 00:42:07,568 AND WE GOT MARRIED IN A TEMPLE WITH A RABBI. 769 00:42:07,612 --> 00:42:09,265 IT WAS VERY LIGHT ON THE TRADITIONAL STUFF, 770 00:42:09,309 --> 00:42:13,531 AND LIKE I SAID, IT HAD NO MEANING TO ME AT ALL. 771 00:42:13,574 --> 00:42:16,925 WELL, I'M NOT AGREEING TO BEING JEWISH, 772 00:42:16,969 --> 00:42:20,146 AND SINCE YOUR FAITH DOESN'T MEAN THAT MUCH TO YOU, 773 00:42:20,189 --> 00:42:22,931 BUT MINE DOES TO ME, I HOPE YOU CAN UNDERSTAND 774 00:42:22,975 --> 00:42:28,720 WHY I NEED A CROSS AND A JESUS AND A PRIEST, ESPECIALLY NOW. 775 00:42:28,763 --> 00:42:32,288 I AM GETTING A CHURCH. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. 776 00:42:32,332 --> 00:42:35,161 OH, MY GOD, DEAN. 777 00:42:35,204 --> 00:42:36,771 DEAN. 778 00:42:37,772 --> 00:42:38,773 DEAN. 779 00:42:44,692 --> 00:42:48,696 THE JACUZZI'S STILL NOT FIXED. WHAT HAPPENED? 780 00:42:48,740 --> 00:42:51,090 WHY ARE YOU JUST-- 781 00:42:51,133 --> 00:42:52,395 WHY DOES HE JUST-- JUST-- 782 00:42:52,439 --> 00:42:54,572 HE WON'T TALK. 783 00:42:57,792 --> 00:43:00,403 OH, MY GOD. PUT THAT AWAY! NO! 784 00:43:00,447 --> 00:43:03,493 [SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE] 785 00:43:03,537 --> 00:43:07,585 SHE SAY YOU ARE DEVIL MAN. 786 00:43:07,628 --> 00:43:10,892 DEVIL MAN? SHE'S DRINKING THE HORMONE THERAPY! 787 00:43:10,936 --> 00:43:13,416 -[CAR DOOR CLOSES] -OH, MY GOD, 788 00:43:13,460 --> 00:43:14,853 IT'S THE LADY FROM THE AGENCY. 789 00:43:16,811 --> 00:43:19,988 ...WON'T LET HER HAVE ENERGY DRINK-- 790 00:43:20,032 --> 00:43:22,600 ENERGY DRINK? IT'S MEDICINE FOR ONE OF OUR GUESTS 791 00:43:22,643 --> 00:43:24,427 TO HELP HIM GROW-- HER GROW A BEARD 792 00:43:24,471 --> 00:43:26,212 OR SOME OTHER THING. 793 00:43:26,255 --> 00:43:28,562 GIVE IT TO ME! 794 00:43:40,443 --> 00:43:43,229 THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 795 00:43:43,272 --> 00:43:44,665 WHY DID I EAT THAT PIZZA? 796 00:43:46,145 --> 00:43:48,277 -OKAY. -[DOORBELL RINGS] 797 00:43:48,321 --> 00:43:50,845 UP, UP, UP, UP, UP. UP, UP, UP, UP, UP. 798 00:43:50,889 --> 00:43:53,282 UP, UP, UP, UP, UP. UP, UP, UP, UP, UP. 799 00:43:53,326 --> 00:43:54,501 [MUTTERING] 800 00:43:56,677 --> 00:44:00,986 -[ALARM BLARES IN DISTANCE] -HI. CAN I HELP YOU? 801 00:44:01,029 --> 00:44:04,293 YES, DOES THE TIN FAMILY MAKE THEIR RESIDENCE HERE? 802 00:44:04,337 --> 00:44:06,687 -YES-- -HE DEVIL MAN. 803 00:44:06,731 --> 00:44:08,689 JUST GO BACK. 804 00:44:08,733 --> 00:44:13,651 JUST SOME NASTY SIDE EFFECTS FROM A DRUG ISSUE. 805 00:44:13,694 --> 00:44:16,523 PLEASE! 806 00:44:16,566 --> 00:44:20,832 -[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING] -[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 807 00:44:20,875 --> 00:44:26,272 SO I'VE DECIDED I WANNA GET MARRIED IN A CHURCH. 808 00:44:26,315 --> 00:44:31,059 LISTEN TO YOU. TAKING CHARGE. I LIKE IT. 809 00:44:31,103 --> 00:44:33,671 BUT THAT'S OF COURSE IF A CHURCH WILL HAVE YOUR QUEER ASS. 810 00:44:33,714 --> 00:44:34,889 SHUT UP, BRADLEY. 811 00:44:39,546 --> 00:44:41,591 LOOK WHO'S COME OUT. 812 00:44:41,635 --> 00:44:44,159 THAT WAS QUICKER THAN A FRESHMAN IN THE NYU THEATER DEPARTMENT. 813 00:44:46,031 --> 00:44:48,598 COME ON. YOU LOOK PRETTY. 814 00:44:50,122 --> 00:44:54,343 -LET'S DO IT! -[CHATTERING] 815 00:45:01,350 --> 00:45:05,703 IN JANUARY, YOU FILED WITH MR. TIN FOR AN EXTENSION 816 00:45:05,746 --> 00:45:07,792 FOR ANOTHER SIX MONTHS OF HOUSING SUPPORT, 817 00:45:07,835 --> 00:45:10,185 I ASSUME FOR THE TIN FAMILY. 818 00:45:10,229 --> 00:45:12,318 YOU DON'T APPEAR TO BE 819 00:45:12,361 --> 00:45:14,712 A POLITICAL REFUGEE FROM MYANMAR. 820 00:45:14,755 --> 00:45:17,540 NO, I'M NOT. I JUST PROVIDE THEM HOUSING, 821 00:45:17,584 --> 00:45:20,326 -AND THEN WE-- -IT SAYS MR. TIN IS YOUR PARTNER 822 00:45:20,369 --> 00:45:23,198 IN AN ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLE MOTEL? 823 00:45:23,242 --> 00:45:25,679 YES, THAT'S RIGHT HERE, 824 00:45:25,723 --> 00:45:30,902 AT THE RAINBOW BRIDGE MOTEL! 825 00:45:30,945 --> 00:45:32,033 UH... 826 00:45:40,172 --> 00:45:42,130 WE DON'T GIVE OUT EXTENSIONS. 827 00:45:42,174 --> 00:45:44,567 AS YOU KNOW, SIX MONTHS IS THE LIMIT. 828 00:45:44,611 --> 00:45:48,746 AND THAT IS WHY TIN AND I PARTNERED IN THE MOTEL. 829 00:45:48,789 --> 00:45:52,924 SO, IN A SENSE, THE SIX-MONTH EXTENSION 830 00:45:52,967 --> 00:45:56,144 WHERE HE PAYS ME THE RENT THAT YOU PROVIDE HIM 831 00:45:56,188 --> 00:45:57,885 IS LIKE HIM BUYING INTO THE BUSINESS. 832 00:45:57,929 --> 00:45:59,800 RIGHT? IT'S LIKE STARTUP CAPITAL. 833 00:45:59,844 --> 00:46:03,238 THE FAMILY LIVES HERE, HELPS OUT AROUND THE MOTEL, 834 00:46:03,282 --> 00:46:06,241 AND A CLASSIC NIAGARA FALLS LANDMARK 835 00:46:06,285 --> 00:46:09,157 IS SAVED FROM THE EVER-PRESENT WRECKING BALL. 836 00:46:09,201 --> 00:46:12,595 IT'S A WIN-WIN ALL AROUND. 837 00:46:12,639 --> 00:46:17,165 THESE ARE POLITICAL REFUGEES, MR. SHIBBAWITZ, 838 00:46:17,209 --> 00:46:20,168 FROM A THIRD-WORLD COUNTRY. 839 00:46:20,212 --> 00:46:23,911 SOME OF THEM BARELY KNOW HOW TO FLUSH A TOILET. 840 00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:30,396 MY GRANDFATHER WAS A POLITICAL REFUGEE, 841 00:46:30,439 --> 00:46:32,659 AND HE STARTED THIS PLACE 80 YEARS AGO. 842 00:46:32,702 --> 00:46:34,879 BELIEVE ME, MY BURMESE FAMILY 843 00:46:34,922 --> 00:46:37,838 HAS THE SAME STREET SMARTS, DEDICATION, 844 00:46:37,882 --> 00:46:39,884 AND WORK ETHIC THAT HE HAD. 845 00:46:39,927 --> 00:46:42,800 DON'T UNDERESTIMATE THESE PEOPLE. 846 00:46:42,843 --> 00:46:44,976 WE ARE ONTO SOMETHING HERE AT THE RAINBOW-- 847 00:46:45,019 --> 00:46:48,414 -A GAY MARRIAGE DESTINATION. REALLY, MR. SHIBBAWITZ? -ABSOLUTELY! 848 00:46:48,457 --> 00:46:52,070 WE'VE TAILORED EVERYTHING TO THIS NEW EMERGING REALITY. 849 00:46:52,113 --> 00:46:54,812 OH, LIKE THAT POSTER? 850 00:47:02,428 --> 00:47:04,734 MORE LIKE THAT. 851 00:47:12,307 --> 00:47:15,745 -HUH. YOU KNOW. -HMM. 852 00:47:15,789 --> 00:47:19,227 [RADIO CHATTER] 853 00:47:19,271 --> 00:47:21,839 SO THAT WAS QUITE A PLACE YOU CHOSE. 854 00:47:21,882 --> 00:47:25,973 WELL, YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES THE TOP RECRUIT ISN'T EXACTLY WHAT YOU THOUGHT. 855 00:47:26,017 --> 00:47:28,889 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 856 00:47:28,933 --> 00:47:30,848 I DON'T KNOW. 857 00:47:30,891 --> 00:47:32,371 YOU'RE A DESIGNER. 858 00:47:32,414 --> 00:47:34,852 I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 859 00:47:34,895 --> 00:47:37,463 THAT'S WHAT YOU COME UP WITH FOR YOUR WEDDING, DARREN? 860 00:47:37,506 --> 00:47:39,030 LEAVE HIM ALONE. 861 00:47:39,073 --> 00:47:41,815 I DID GET TAKEN IN A LITTLE BIT BY AN ONLINE AD, 862 00:47:41,859 --> 00:47:43,861 BUT IT'S NOT A COMPLETE LOSS. 863 00:47:43,904 --> 00:47:45,253 THE PEOPLE ARE FRIENDLY, 864 00:47:45,297 --> 00:47:48,691 AND IT DOES HAVE ITS OWN UNIQUE AESTHETIC. 865 00:47:48,735 --> 00:47:51,781 AND WHAT'S THAT? EARLY APOCALYPSE? 866 00:47:51,825 --> 00:47:52,913 MOM, YOU THINK HE DOESN'T KNOW? 867 00:47:52,957 --> 00:47:55,263 HOW DO I KNOW WHAT HE KNOWS? 868 00:47:55,307 --> 00:47:57,048 I THOUGHT HE WAS STRAIGHT 869 00:47:57,091 --> 00:48:00,051 UNTIL THEY WHEELED ME IN FOR MY HIP SURGERY. 870 00:48:00,094 --> 00:48:02,618 -THAT'S WHEN YOU TOLD MOM? -WELL, SHE WAS MUTTERING 871 00:48:02,662 --> 00:48:03,968 THE COMBINATION OF THE SAFE 872 00:48:04,011 --> 00:48:05,491 AND WHAT FONT SHE WANTED ON HER GRAVESTONE, 873 00:48:05,534 --> 00:48:08,842 SO I JUST THOUGHT, "BETTER COME CLEAN." 874 00:48:08,886 --> 00:48:13,194 WELL, IT WAS A VERY SELFISH ACT. 875 00:48:13,238 --> 00:48:15,414 DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY ATIVANS THEY HAD TO GIVE ME 876 00:48:15,457 --> 00:48:17,720 TO KNOCK ME OUT BEFORE THAT SURGERY 877 00:48:17,764 --> 00:48:20,636 AFTER HEARING THAT? 878 00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:24,945 FINALLY, THEY HAD TO INJECT ME WITH SODIUM PENTOTHAL 879 00:48:24,989 --> 00:48:27,730 TO PUT ME IN A MEDICALLY-INDUCED COMA. 880 00:48:27,774 --> 00:48:29,863 I WAS VOMITING FOR WEEKS. 881 00:48:29,907 --> 00:48:31,560 SO THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED. 882 00:48:31,604 --> 00:48:32,997 SWEETIE, WE DIDN'T WANT TO BOTHER YOU. 883 00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:35,913 YOU WERE AT COLLEGE TAKING YOUR LSATS, OKAY? 884 00:48:35,956 --> 00:48:39,046 WELL, I APOLOGIZE... AGAIN. 885 00:48:39,090 --> 00:48:42,441 BUT I'M NOT SURE IF THERE EVER WOULD'VE BEEN A GOOD TIME 886 00:48:42,484 --> 00:48:43,790 TO TELL YOU. 887 00:48:43,833 --> 00:48:46,488 IT'S ALL WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE. 888 00:48:46,532 --> 00:48:48,969 LISTEN TO HIM. HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHERE HE IS RIGHT NOW. 889 00:48:49,013 --> 00:48:52,103 HE HASN'T STOPPED LISTENING TO THAT DAMN SPORTS HAT 890 00:48:52,146 --> 00:48:55,280 SINCE I GAVE IT TO HIM FOR CHRISTMAS. YOU KNOW THAT? 891 00:48:55,323 --> 00:48:57,325 SPEAKING OF CHRISTMAS, 892 00:48:57,369 --> 00:49:01,286 IT IS PROBABLY A GREAT TIME TO TELL YOU 893 00:49:01,329 --> 00:49:03,114 THAT IT LOOKS LIKE WE ARE GOING TO HAVE 894 00:49:03,157 --> 00:49:07,945 JUST A LITTLE BIT OF A CHRISTIAN WEDDING. 895 00:49:07,988 --> 00:49:10,251 [SLURPING] 896 00:49:10,295 --> 00:49:12,601 WHAT? 897 00:49:12,645 --> 00:49:14,560 DID YOU HEAR THAT, FRANK? 898 00:49:14,603 --> 00:49:16,779 -DID YOU HEAR THAT? -WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 899 00:49:16,823 --> 00:49:18,651 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THEY'RE INTERVIEWING MAZURSKY, 900 00:49:18,694 --> 00:49:19,869 THE NEW QUARTERBACK RECRUIT. 901 00:49:19,913 --> 00:49:21,697 -STOP IT. -GIVE ME A SECOND. 902 00:49:21,741 --> 00:49:23,090 STOP IT. YOUR SON JUST ANNOUNCED 903 00:49:23,134 --> 00:49:24,700 HE'S HAVING A CHRISTIAN WEDDING. 904 00:49:24,744 --> 00:49:26,050 SO? I'M CHRISTIAN. 905 00:49:26,093 --> 00:49:27,529 NO, YOU'RE NOT. 906 00:49:27,573 --> 00:49:29,009 DON'T LISTEN TO HIM. 907 00:49:29,053 --> 00:49:31,577 THEY NEVER WENT TO CHURCH WHEN HE WAS A KID. 908 00:49:31,620 --> 00:49:33,535 SO? HE NEVER WENT TO A BUCKEYES GAME WITH ME, 909 00:49:33,579 --> 00:49:35,276 BUT IF YOU ASK HIM WHO HIS FOOTBALL TEAM IS, 910 00:49:35,320 --> 00:49:37,322 HE WOULD SAY IT'S OHIO STATE, RIGHT? 911 00:49:37,365 --> 00:49:41,195 YEAH, EXACTLY. YEAH-- RIGHT, SURE. 912 00:49:41,239 --> 00:49:43,806 AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 913 00:49:43,850 --> 00:49:46,026 IT MEANS THAT DARREN'S A BIG BOY, 914 00:49:46,070 --> 00:49:47,810 AND HE CAN DO WHAT HE WANTS, 915 00:49:47,854 --> 00:49:50,422 AND YOU NEED TO JUST STAY OUT OF IT. 916 00:49:50,465 --> 00:49:53,120 AND YOU NEED TO JUST KEEP LISTENING 917 00:49:53,164 --> 00:49:56,471 TO YOUR DAMN SPORTS HAT. 918 00:49:56,515 --> 00:49:58,952 I NEED A CIGARETTE. EXCUSE ME, GENTLEMEN. 919 00:50:08,222 --> 00:50:09,397 [KHIN] WE HAVE WEDDING HERE. 920 00:50:09,441 --> 00:50:12,226 AND HOW MANY HAVE YOU HAD HERE? 921 00:50:12,270 --> 00:50:14,054 FIRST ONE YESTERDAY. 922 00:50:14,098 --> 00:50:17,362 AND DEAN AND DARREN'S TOMORROW. 923 00:50:17,405 --> 00:50:19,016 YES, TOMORROW, TOO. 924 00:50:19,059 --> 00:50:21,192 AND MORE COMING ONLINE ALL THE TIME. 925 00:50:21,235 --> 00:50:23,281 [CLATTERING] 926 00:50:23,324 --> 00:50:25,805 I AM FINE. I AM FINE. NO PROBLEM. 927 00:50:25,848 --> 00:50:29,113 ISN'T ALEX SUPPOSED TO BE HANDLING THAT? 928 00:50:29,156 --> 00:50:31,637 EXCUSE ME. 929 00:50:37,251 --> 00:50:39,036 WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? 930 00:50:39,079 --> 00:50:40,559 DANCING. 931 00:50:40,602 --> 00:50:43,170 THEY'RE GUESTS. WE'RE THE WORKERS. 932 00:50:43,214 --> 00:50:45,694 BUT I'M WORKING-- HELP THE CELEBRATE, PARTY! 933 00:50:45,738 --> 00:50:49,089 WHAT'S WITH THE GETUP HERE? WHAT-- 934 00:50:49,133 --> 00:50:52,571 IT FEELS RIGHT. YOU LIKE IT? 935 00:50:52,614 --> 00:50:54,399 SURE, SURE, SURE. 936 00:50:54,442 --> 00:50:56,749 -DOES YOUR DAD KNOW ABOUT THIS? -WHAT? 937 00:50:56,792 --> 00:51:00,100 DOES YOUR DAD KNOW ABOUT THIS? 938 00:51:00,144 --> 00:51:01,884 LOOK, REBECCA'S WORKING ON THE CHURCH, 939 00:51:01,928 --> 00:51:03,799 DECORATING THE CHAPEL RIGHT NOW. 940 00:51:03,843 --> 00:51:05,845 WE NEED YOUR HELP. 941 00:51:05,888 --> 00:51:08,848 NOW! THE WOMAN FROM THE AGENCY'S HERE. 942 00:51:09,979 --> 00:51:13,113 -OH! HEY. HI, THERE. -HEY. 943 00:51:13,157 --> 00:51:15,333 IT'S QUITE A PARTY HERE. HUH? 944 00:51:15,376 --> 00:51:16,943 TOMORROW'S THE BIG DAY. 945 00:51:16,986 --> 00:51:18,684 WE'RE PREPARING THE CHAPEL RIGHT NOW. 946 00:51:18,727 --> 00:51:20,251 IT'S GONNA BE GREAT. 947 00:51:20,294 --> 00:51:24,081 LISTEN, PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY. 948 00:51:24,124 --> 00:51:25,691 IS EVERYTHING OKAY? 949 00:51:25,734 --> 00:51:28,998 WELL, I'VE DECIDED 950 00:51:29,042 --> 00:51:33,481 THAT I WANT A-- WELL, ACTUALLY, I NEED 951 00:51:33,525 --> 00:51:35,701 MY WEDDING TO TAKE PLACE IN A REAL CHURCH 952 00:51:35,744 --> 00:51:37,485 WITH A REAL PRIEST. 953 00:51:37,529 --> 00:51:39,270 SO WHILE I THANK YOU, 954 00:51:39,313 --> 00:51:41,968 THERE'S BEEN A CHANGE IN PLANS. 955 00:51:42,011 --> 00:51:44,492 I'M A LICENSED CHRISTIAN MINISTER. 956 00:51:44,536 --> 00:51:47,452 I PREACHED FOR TWO YEARS IN MISSOURI. 957 00:51:47,495 --> 00:51:51,064 TWO YEARS! AT JEWS FOR JESUS RETREAT. 958 00:51:51,108 --> 00:51:53,066 ACTUALLY IT WAS MORE OF A RESORT, 959 00:51:53,110 --> 00:51:55,024 BUT... [STAMMERING] 960 00:51:55,068 --> 00:51:56,765 WE DID A WONDERFUL BUSINESS, BY THE WAY. 961 00:51:56,809 --> 00:52:00,247 THE BUSINESS OF SAVING SOULS, OF COURSE. 962 00:52:00,291 --> 00:52:02,641 THAT'S-- THAT'S GREAT. 963 00:52:02,684 --> 00:52:06,645 BUT, YOU SEE, I'M CATHOLIC, SO... 964 00:52:06,688 --> 00:52:10,257 I CAN DO A CATHOLIC FLAVOR LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN. 965 00:52:10,301 --> 00:52:13,304 SERIOUSLY, I'LL DO THE WHOLE THING IN LATIN. THE WHOLE THING. 966 00:52:13,347 --> 00:52:15,306 HERE, I-- I HAVE "CRISTUS," 967 00:52:15,349 --> 00:52:19,527 I HAVE "AD NUOM," UH, "ET BENEDICTO." 968 00:52:19,571 --> 00:52:22,008 IT'S IN THERE. I KNOW IT'S IN THERE. 969 00:52:22,051 --> 00:52:23,966 I'M COMMITTING MY LIFE TO ONE PERSON, 970 00:52:24,010 --> 00:52:28,754 SO I NEED SOMEONE WHO'S COMMITTED THEIR LIFE TO ONE THING. 971 00:52:28,797 --> 00:52:32,975 DO YOU THINK THAT I WOULD PERMANENTLY ETCH THIS INTO MY-- 972 00:52:33,019 --> 00:52:34,977 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. THAT'S THE WRONG ONE. 973 00:52:35,021 --> 00:52:36,327 HOLD ON. HOW ABOUT THIS ONE? 974 00:52:36,370 --> 00:52:38,677 THAT'S COMMITMENT. A JEW WITH A CROSS. 975 00:52:38,720 --> 00:52:40,548 LOOK AT THAT. 976 00:52:40,592 --> 00:52:43,551 I APPRECIATE IT. I REALLY DO. 977 00:52:43,595 --> 00:52:47,599 BUT THIS IS SOMETHING I NEED FOR ME. 978 00:52:47,642 --> 00:52:50,515 I'M-- I'M SORRY. 979 00:52:53,257 --> 00:52:55,998 I UNDERSTAND. NO PROBLEM. 980 00:52:56,042 --> 00:52:58,914 HEY, MAN, THIS-- THIS IS AN AWESOME TATTOO. 981 00:52:58,958 --> 00:53:00,960 DID YOU KNOW THAT GANESH BRINGS GOOD LUCK? 982 00:53:02,875 --> 00:53:04,442 EXCUSE ME. 983 00:53:07,227 --> 00:53:10,056 JUST HAVE A RABBI PRESENT. IS THAT SO HARD? 984 00:53:10,099 --> 00:53:11,623 YOUR FATHER AND I WILL PAY FOR IT. 985 00:53:11,666 --> 00:53:13,277 I'LL EVEN FIND YOU ONE. 986 00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:16,149 YOU GOTTA STOP THE JEWISH THING. 987 00:53:16,193 --> 00:53:17,933 WE HAD A CHRISTMAS TREE WHEN WE WERE GROWING UP. 988 00:53:17,977 --> 00:53:19,848 YOU'RE SITTING THERE EATING A BOURBON BACON BURGER 989 00:53:19,892 --> 00:53:21,676 AT A BUSTER BARN. 990 00:53:21,720 --> 00:53:24,201 WHAT PART OF THAT IS JEWISH? 991 00:53:24,244 --> 00:53:27,116 ALL OF IT! EXCEPT THE BUSTER BARN! 992 00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:29,771 HE'S GOT A POINT, MOM. 993 00:53:29,815 --> 00:53:31,120 THANK YOU. 994 00:53:31,164 --> 00:53:34,646 THIS IS WHAT WE DO AS JEWS, 995 00:53:34,689 --> 00:53:37,388 WE GET TO EAT BACON ONCE IN A WHILE 996 00:53:37,431 --> 00:53:42,044 WITHOUT ANY ONE PERSON GETTING STONED TO DEATH FOR IT. 997 00:53:42,088 --> 00:53:45,309 AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH HAVING A TREE, HUH? HUH? 998 00:53:45,352 --> 00:53:48,616 WHY CAN'T WE ENJOY THE FRUITS OF OTHER RELIGIONS? 999 00:53:48,660 --> 00:53:50,270 IT DOESN'T MEAN I GOTTA GIVE UP MINE. 1000 00:53:50,314 --> 00:53:52,490 SURE, FINE, AND THAT SOMEHOW WORKS FOR YOU. 1001 00:53:52,533 --> 00:53:55,754 I HAVE NO IDEA HOW, BUT SOMEHOW IT DOES. 1002 00:53:55,797 --> 00:53:58,104 BUT THIS IS MY WEDDING. 1003 00:53:58,147 --> 00:54:00,846 YOU'RE GONNA DO THIS TO ME, AREN'T YOU? 1004 00:54:00,889 --> 00:54:02,848 LOOK AT ME, DARREN. 1005 00:54:02,891 --> 00:54:07,505 IT TOOK ME TWO YEARS OF FIVE-DAY-A-WEEK THERAPY SESSIONS, 1006 00:54:07,548 --> 00:54:09,550 A NASTY XANAX ADDICTION, 1007 00:54:09,594 --> 00:54:10,856 AND ENDLESS WATCHING 1008 00:54:10,899 --> 00:54:14,076 OF THOSE BORING PBS DOCUMENTARIES 1009 00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:16,949 TO FINALLY ACCEPT THIS GAY MARRIAGE THING. 1010 00:54:16,992 --> 00:54:21,301 AND NOW YOU EXPECT ME TO ABANDON MY FAITH? 1011 00:54:23,042 --> 00:54:25,479 -MY GOD! -SHH. 1012 00:54:32,573 --> 00:54:38,449 -SHH. -I EVEN MADE YOUR FATHER WATCH "BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN." TWICE! 1013 00:54:38,492 --> 00:54:41,408 AND THEN WENT OUT AND GO BUY THE BLU-RAY EDITION. 1014 00:54:41,452 --> 00:54:45,151 HE HAD TO WAIT IN LINE AT BEST BUY 1015 00:54:45,194 --> 00:54:48,328 FOR 10 MINUTES HOLDING THAT THING 1016 00:54:48,372 --> 00:54:52,463 IN FRONT OF ALL THE NEIGHBORS ON BLACK FRIDAY. 1017 00:54:52,506 --> 00:54:56,075 WE'VE MADE SACRIFICES. 1018 00:54:56,118 --> 00:54:59,121 AND I'M JUST ASKING FOR THIS ONE THING? 1019 00:54:59,165 --> 00:55:02,124 OH, GOD, I CAN'T TAKE THIS! 1020 00:55:02,168 --> 00:55:03,778 I HAVE TO GO TAKE CARE OF DEAN. 1021 00:55:03,822 --> 00:55:06,172 YOUR GRANDFATHER IS ROLLING IN HIS GRAVE. 1022 00:55:06,215 --> 00:55:09,349 AND THAT'S AFTER HE'S ALREADY ROLLED A HOLE TO CHINA! 1023 00:55:09,393 --> 00:55:13,440 MOM, YOU NEED TO STOP. 1024 00:55:15,224 --> 00:55:17,923 WHY CAN'T HE JUST GET MARRIED LIKE HE DID WITH MAGGIE? 1025 00:55:17,966 --> 00:55:19,490 WAS THERE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT? 1026 00:55:19,533 --> 00:55:22,667 THE RABBI DID SUCH A MARVELOUS JOB. 1027 00:55:22,710 --> 00:55:26,975 WELL, MAGGIE'S STILL JEWISH, AND SHE'LL BE HERE SOON. 1028 00:55:27,019 --> 00:55:28,847 [ISAAC] MAGGIE'S STILL JEWISH? 1029 00:55:28,890 --> 00:55:30,457 SHE'S COMING TO THE WEDDING? 1030 00:55:30,501 --> 00:55:33,068 TURNS OUT SHE DIDN'T SIGN THE DIVORCE PAPERS, 1031 00:55:33,112 --> 00:55:34,374 SO SHE'LL BE HERE. 1032 00:55:34,418 --> 00:55:36,028 SHE LIVES IN BINGHAMTON. 1033 00:55:36,071 --> 00:55:37,377 SHE'S A PROFESSOR AT A UNIVERSITY. 1034 00:55:37,421 --> 00:55:40,815 -REALLY? -DON'T GET ANY IDEAS, MOM. 1035 00:55:40,859 --> 00:55:44,558 OH, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, ISAAC? I JUST LOVE HER. 1036 00:55:44,602 --> 00:55:46,473 SHE'S WONDERFUL. I ALWAYS LIKED HER. 1037 00:55:46,517 --> 00:55:50,303 WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT? 1038 00:55:50,347 --> 00:55:54,525 MOM, DO NOT START ANYTHING. 1039 00:55:54,568 --> 00:55:57,615 SHE'S COMING HERE AND SHE'S SIGNING THE PAPERS, 1040 00:55:57,658 --> 00:56:00,879 AND SHE'S LEAVING. THAT'S ALL. 1041 00:56:06,014 --> 00:56:10,802 [DEAN] WOW, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THIS PLACE? IT'S PERFECT. 1042 00:56:10,845 --> 00:56:12,194 OKAY, DO ME A FAVOR. 1043 00:56:12,238 --> 00:56:14,501 DON'T EVER RANK ANYTHING ON TRIPADVISOR.COM 1044 00:56:14,545 --> 00:56:17,243 I USE IT. DON'T NEED THE EXTRA FEEDBACK. 1045 00:56:17,286 --> 00:56:19,680 WHY, DO YOU THINK WE'RE IN DANGER? 1046 00:56:19,724 --> 00:56:21,769 WELL, YOU KNOW, WE ARE GAY, 1047 00:56:21,813 --> 00:56:24,250 HANGING OUT IN KLAN TERRITORY, 1048 00:56:24,293 --> 00:56:25,643 LOITERING IN FRONT OF THEIR CHURCH. 1049 00:56:25,686 --> 00:56:27,688 I MEAN, IT SEEMS LIKE WE HIT THE TRIFECTA. 1050 00:56:27,732 --> 00:56:29,560 THEN MAYBE WE SHOULD TURN BACK. 1051 00:56:29,603 --> 00:56:31,779 NO, I'M SURE WE'LL BE FINE. 1052 00:56:31,823 --> 00:56:34,216 JUST-- COME ON. JUST BUTCH IT UP A BIT. 1053 00:56:34,260 --> 00:56:37,219 -OH, OKAY. UM... -YEAH. 1054 00:56:37,263 --> 00:56:39,439 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THIS ISN'T "WEST SIDE STORY." 1055 00:56:39,483 --> 00:56:41,615 DOWN. IT'S BETTER DOWN? 1056 00:56:44,488 --> 00:56:46,751 JUST HURRY UP BEFORE THAT CROSS GOES UP IN FLAMES. 1057 00:56:46,794 --> 00:56:48,056 A PLACE LIKE THIS MIGHT BE AVAILABLE 1058 00:56:48,100 --> 00:56:50,058 BECAUSE IT'S IN A PLACE LIKE THIS. 1059 00:56:52,974 --> 00:56:54,585 [SCREAMS] 1060 00:56:54,628 --> 00:56:58,502 HELLO. HOW CAN I HELP YOU FINE YOUNG MEN? 1061 00:56:58,545 --> 00:57:03,811 GENTLEMEN, ISN'T GOD'S HOUSE BEAUTIFUL? 1062 00:57:03,855 --> 00:57:07,119 OH, I FEEL INSPIRED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT 1063 00:57:07,162 --> 00:57:11,776 EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THIS INCREDIBLE PLACE. 1064 00:57:11,819 --> 00:57:13,473 WOW, IT'S-- 1065 00:57:13,517 --> 00:57:16,302 IT'S UNBELIEVABLY BEAUTIFUL. 1066 00:57:16,345 --> 00:57:20,219 OF COURSE, WE HAD A BALL SAIL THROUGH THAT WINDOW 1067 00:57:20,262 --> 00:57:23,788 A FEW YEARS AGO. 1068 00:57:23,831 --> 00:57:25,442 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? 1069 00:57:25,485 --> 00:57:27,313 THAT'S AN INCREDIBLE SIGN 1070 00:57:27,356 --> 00:57:32,492 THAT THIS TRULY IS A VIBRANT, FAMILY NEIGHBORHOOD. 1071 00:57:32,536 --> 00:57:36,540 BRADLEY, IT'S EVERYTHING WE WANTED. 1072 00:57:36,583 --> 00:57:38,019 LOOK AT THAT CHANDELIER. 1073 00:57:39,673 --> 00:57:43,329 OH, THIS CHANDELIER IS THREE YEARS IN THE MAKING. 1074 00:57:43,372 --> 00:57:47,855 I MADE A SNOWMAN ONCE IN THREE HOURS... 1075 00:57:47,899 --> 00:57:51,076 AND THEN I GOT BORED AND SAT ON IT. 1076 00:57:51,119 --> 00:57:55,472 -CAN WE TURN IT ON, FATHER? -YEAH, SOME OF THE WIRES-- 1077 00:57:55,515 --> 00:57:58,518 I-- I FORGOT TO MENTION, 1078 00:57:58,562 --> 00:58:01,869 DID YOU NOTICE OUR INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL CHURCH ORGAN? 1079 00:58:01,913 --> 00:58:04,481 WOW. 1080 00:58:04,524 --> 00:58:06,787 ARE YOU BOYS FROM THE CASINO? 1081 00:58:06,831 --> 00:58:08,963 -WHAT? -UH, NO, NO. UH... 1082 00:58:09,007 --> 00:58:10,835 WE'RE NOT EXACTLY CASINO GUYS. 1083 00:58:10,878 --> 00:58:12,489 -IS MY COLLAR STILL UP? -NO, NO. 1084 00:58:12,532 --> 00:58:15,274 NO, UH, TRUTHFULLY, I DON'T REALLY EVEN GAMBLE. 1085 00:58:15,317 --> 00:58:16,580 THAT'S A SIN, RIGHT? 1086 00:58:16,623 --> 00:58:19,321 YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A SPIRITUAL HOME? 1087 00:58:19,365 --> 00:58:22,542 UH, NO. WELL, YES, BUT... 1088 00:58:22,586 --> 00:58:24,849 DO YOU STILL HOLD SERVICES HERE? 1089 00:58:24,892 --> 00:58:28,113 I GUESS, COMMUNIONS, MASSES, WEDDINGS? 1090 00:58:28,156 --> 00:58:29,897 WE STILL HAVE A SUNDAY MASS. 1091 00:58:29,941 --> 00:58:32,204 IT'S BEEN A FEW YEARS SINCE WE'VE HAD A WEDDING. 1092 00:58:32,247 --> 00:58:34,336 ARE YOU AFFILIATED WITH THE CHURCH RIGHT NOW? 1093 00:58:34,380 --> 00:58:36,948 I'M SEARCHING. 1094 00:58:36,991 --> 00:58:38,645 STILL SEARCHING. 1095 00:58:38,689 --> 00:58:41,213 BUT THIS PLACE IS GREAT, FATHER. 1096 00:58:41,256 --> 00:58:43,911 WELL, I AM CATHOLIC, AND I-- 1097 00:58:43,955 --> 00:58:46,131 OH, PERFECT. WE'D LOVE TO HAVE YOU 1098 00:58:46,174 --> 00:58:48,263 AS OUR GUESTS FOR SUNDAY SERVICE. 1099 00:58:48,307 --> 00:58:50,701 THAT'S INCREDIBLY KIND OF YOU. 1100 00:58:50,744 --> 00:58:52,920 BUT WE'RE HERE-- WELL, I'M HERE 1101 00:58:52,964 --> 00:58:56,620 BECAUSE I JUST, UH... 1102 00:58:58,578 --> 00:59:00,493 CAN I MAKE A CONFESSION? 1103 00:59:02,103 --> 00:59:04,366 FORGIVE ME, FATHER, FOR I HAVE SINNED. 1104 00:59:04,410 --> 00:59:07,413 IT'S BEEN 525,600 MINUTES 1105 00:59:07,456 --> 00:59:08,762 SINCE MY LAST CONFESSION. 1106 00:59:08,806 --> 00:59:10,895 [CHUCKLES] 1107 00:59:10,938 --> 00:59:11,896 OH, GOD. 1108 00:59:11,939 --> 00:59:14,376 I'M SORRY. 1109 00:59:14,420 --> 00:59:16,727 GO AHEAD, MY SON. 1110 00:59:16,770 --> 00:59:19,730 WELL, YOU SEE, FATHER, I'M GAY AND-- 1111 00:59:19,773 --> 00:59:24,604 OH, REALLY. WELL, WE'RE ALL GOD'S CHILDREN, AND-- 1112 00:59:24,648 --> 00:59:27,564 NO, I'M NOT CONFESSING THAT AS A SIN. 1113 00:59:27,607 --> 00:59:31,393 I'M ACTUALLY COMPLETELY FINE AND PROUD OF BEING GAY. 1114 00:59:31,437 --> 00:59:33,091 I'M NOT SURE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT, 1115 00:59:33,134 --> 00:59:35,833 BUT TRUTHFULLY, I DON'T EVEN WANNA CONFESS ANYTHING. 1116 00:59:35,876 --> 00:59:38,009 I JUST-- I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU. 1117 00:59:42,013 --> 00:59:43,362 I'M GETTING MARRIED. 1118 00:59:43,405 --> 00:59:44,624 TO A WOMAN? 1119 00:59:44,668 --> 00:59:48,410 NO, OF COURSE NOT. REALLY, FATHER? 1120 00:59:48,454 --> 00:59:50,587 TO MY PARTNER DARREN. 1121 00:59:50,630 --> 00:59:55,417 YOU SEE, HE DOESN'T BELIEVE THAT OUR WEDDING IS REAL, 1122 00:59:55,461 --> 00:59:58,986 SO I THOUGHT SINCE I STILL BELIEVE VERY MUCH IN GOD 1123 00:59:59,030 --> 01:00:01,598 AND JESUS OR JESUS AND GOD, 1124 01:00:01,641 --> 01:00:03,425 OR SOMEWHERE THE HOLY SPIRIT IS IN THERE, 1125 01:00:03,469 --> 01:00:08,430 BUT I THOUGHT THAT WE COULD GET MARRIED 1126 01:00:08,474 --> 01:00:11,782 BY A REAL CLERGYMAN IN A REAL CHURCH. 1127 01:00:11,825 --> 01:00:17,222 OH. MY SON, THE CHURCH DOES NOT ALLOW GAY MARRIAGE. 1128 01:00:17,265 --> 01:00:20,007 I COULDN'T PERFORM SUCH A CEREMONY IN A CHURCH. 1129 01:00:20,051 --> 01:00:24,621 YOU DON'T NEED ME TO MAKE YOUR WEDDING REAL. 1130 01:00:24,664 --> 01:00:28,102 THE COMMUNION OF TWO SOULS 1131 01:00:28,146 --> 01:00:32,672 IS AS REAL AS THE LOVE THAT YOU HAVE FOR ONE ANOTHER. 1132 01:00:32,716 --> 01:00:37,242 THANK YOU, FATHER, BUT... 1133 01:00:37,285 --> 01:00:38,809 HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT THE LOVE 1134 01:00:38,852 --> 01:00:40,245 THAT SOMEONE ELSE HAS FOR YOU 1135 01:00:40,288 --> 01:00:42,682 IS THE SAME THAT YOU HAVE FOR THEM? 1136 01:00:42,726 --> 01:00:47,252 WHEN THAT PERSON DOES SOMETHING 1137 01:00:47,295 --> 01:00:50,255 THAT NO OTHER PERSON WOULD DO FOR YOU. 1138 01:00:53,562 --> 01:00:54,781 THANK YOU. 1139 01:00:57,871 --> 01:01:02,049 YOU GET IT? YOU GET IT? 1140 01:01:02,093 --> 01:01:05,531 HEY, LOOK AT THAT! THE JACUZZI IS WORKING! 1141 01:01:05,574 --> 01:01:08,403 WE'RE MAKING PROGRESS HERE, LIDIA. 1142 01:01:08,447 --> 01:01:12,843 I CAN CALL YOU THAT. CAN I-- CAN I CALL YOU LIDIA? 1143 01:01:12,886 --> 01:01:14,061 WHY WOULD YOU? 1144 01:01:14,105 --> 01:01:15,846 IT JUST ROLLS OFF THE TONGUE. 1145 01:01:15,889 --> 01:01:18,457 LIDIA, LIDIA. IT'S WONDERFUL. 1146 01:01:18,500 --> 01:01:21,373 OH, SAYA'S THE SENIOR MEMBER OF THE GROUP. 1147 01:01:21,416 --> 01:01:23,201 HE ACTUALLY FIXED THE JACUZZI. 1148 01:01:23,244 --> 01:01:24,898 CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? JUST AMAZING. 1149 01:01:24,942 --> 01:01:26,900 HOW DO YOU GUYS LIKE IT? 1150 01:01:26,944 --> 01:01:30,251 -THERE'S NO BUBBLES! -IT'S KIND OF COLD. 1151 01:01:30,295 --> 01:01:33,298 AWESOME KIDDIE POOL, DUDE. 1152 01:01:33,341 --> 01:01:36,736 YOU ARE THE MANISCHEWITZ. 1153 01:01:36,780 --> 01:01:37,955 WHOO! 1154 01:01:37,998 --> 01:01:40,087 [LAUGHTER] 1155 01:01:40,131 --> 01:01:41,654 WELL, MR. SHIBBAWITZ, 1156 01:01:41,698 --> 01:01:45,310 THIS HAS BEEN AN ENLIGHTENING EXPERIENCE, 1157 01:01:45,353 --> 01:01:47,704 BUT I'M NOT VERY CONVINCED THAT THIS IS GOING TO WORK. 1158 01:01:47,747 --> 01:01:50,315 OH, BUT IT IS WORKING, MISS CARMICHAEL. 1159 01:01:50,358 --> 01:01:52,709 ONE WEDDING IS HARDLY A SUCCESS STORY. 1160 01:01:52,752 --> 01:01:54,623 NO, IT'S TWO WEDDINGS. 1161 01:01:54,667 --> 01:01:58,323 -MANISCHEWITZ. -YOU LIKE THAT? YOU LIKE THAT, RIGHT? 1162 01:01:58,366 --> 01:02:01,326 MR. SHIBBAWITZ, I HEARD THAT YOUNG GAY MAN CLEARLY SAY 1163 01:02:01,369 --> 01:02:03,110 HE IS NOT GETTING MARRIED HERE. 1164 01:02:03,154 --> 01:02:06,113 AND TO BE HONEST, I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY. 1165 01:02:06,157 --> 01:02:07,854 THAT YOUNG MAN WILL BE BACK. 1166 01:02:07,898 --> 01:02:10,291 NO CATHOLIC CHURCH IS GOING TO MARRY TWO MEN. 1167 01:02:10,335 --> 01:02:12,032 I DON'T THINK THE POPE IS GOING TO RENEGE 1168 01:02:12,076 --> 01:02:14,252 ON 2,000 YEARS OF CATHOLIC DOCTRINE 1169 01:02:14,295 --> 01:02:15,470 IN THE NEXT 12 HOURS. 1170 01:02:15,514 --> 01:02:17,734 THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL HIM THAT? 1171 01:02:17,777 --> 01:02:19,910 BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT HE NEEDED TO DO. 1172 01:02:19,953 --> 01:02:23,914 THIS IS HIS JOURNEY, AND WHO KNOWS WHAT HE'LL FIND. 1173 01:02:23,957 --> 01:02:26,220 I'M NOT HERE TO SQUASH A PERSON'S DREAMS. 1174 01:02:26,264 --> 01:02:31,312 AT THE RAINBOW BRIDGE MOTEL, WE MAKE DREAMS COME TRUE. 1175 01:02:34,272 --> 01:02:36,361 IF HE'S GETTING MARRIED HERE TOMORROW, 1176 01:02:36,404 --> 01:02:38,972 YOU PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE TOLD HIM. 1177 01:02:39,016 --> 01:02:41,932 MAYBE, BUT HAVEN'T THEY BEEN TOLD 1178 01:02:41,975 --> 01:02:46,675 ENOUGH THINGS THEY CAN'T DO, LIDIA? 1179 01:02:46,719 --> 01:02:49,113 LOOK, ANOTHER GUEST. 1180 01:02:49,156 --> 01:02:50,767 HI, CAN I HELP YOU? 1181 01:02:50,810 --> 01:02:52,594 NO, I CAN WAIT TILL YOU'RE FINISHED. 1182 01:02:52,638 --> 01:02:56,381 NO, IT'S OKAY. I WAS JUST FINISHING UP HERE. 1183 01:02:56,424 --> 01:02:58,252 -HI. -HI. 1184 01:02:58,296 --> 01:03:00,515 I'M NOT SURE THIS IS THE RIGHT PLACE. 1185 01:03:00,559 --> 01:03:02,735 I'M HERE TO SIGN SOME MARRIAGE PAPERS 1186 01:03:02,779 --> 01:03:05,564 -FOR MY FORMER-- -OF COURSE, OF COURSE. 1187 01:03:05,607 --> 01:03:07,827 YOUR NAME IS... 1188 01:03:07,871 --> 01:03:09,960 -MAGGIE. -MAGGIE! MAGGIE! 1189 01:03:10,003 --> 01:03:12,179 NOT ANOTHER GUEST. 1190 01:03:12,223 --> 01:03:15,182 SHE'S ACTUALLY MARRIED TO DEAN. UH, DARREN. 1191 01:03:15,226 --> 01:03:17,837 DARREN IS MARRYING DEAN-- THE YOUNG MAN WE MET. 1192 01:03:17,881 --> 01:03:22,450 MR. SHIBBAWITZ, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY QUIT WHILE YOU'RE AHEAD. 1193 01:03:22,494 --> 01:03:25,105 AHEAD? REALLY? 1194 01:03:25,149 --> 01:03:28,413 I'LL TAKE THAT. 1195 01:03:28,456 --> 01:03:30,632 -OH, GOD. -IT'S TIME TO FEED THE BURT REYNOLDS. 1196 01:03:30,676 --> 01:03:33,505 IT'S MORE LIKE MEATLOAF. 1197 01:03:33,548 --> 01:03:37,683 OOH! AREN'T YOU A SWEET THANG. 1198 01:03:44,864 --> 01:03:46,735 UGH. NO THANKS. 1199 01:03:46,779 --> 01:03:49,216 MY MEDICAL THERMOS? 1200 01:03:49,260 --> 01:03:51,915 YES, YES, YOUR MEDICAL THERMOS. 1201 01:04:15,677 --> 01:04:17,462 OH, MY GOD! 1202 01:04:18,463 --> 01:04:19,725 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1203 01:04:22,684 --> 01:04:25,862 [SCREAMS] 1204 01:04:39,484 --> 01:04:42,313 JUST SUCH A STATELY CHARM ABOUT YOU. 1205 01:04:42,356 --> 01:04:44,445 A VERY CONSERVATIVE BEAUTY. 1206 01:04:44,489 --> 01:04:46,883 ALL THIS LIGHT THAT COMES FROM YOU. 1207 01:04:46,926 --> 01:04:50,103 AND, YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE... 1208 01:04:52,932 --> 01:04:54,064 ...IT JUST COMES RIGHT OUT OF YOU. 1209 01:04:54,107 --> 01:04:57,023 YOU JUST-- YOU LOOK BRIGHT. 1210 01:04:57,067 --> 01:05:00,331 OH, I SEE. 1211 01:05:00,374 --> 01:05:03,290 THAT SMILE! I CAN'T SEE. 1212 01:05:03,334 --> 01:05:05,684 YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST FILLING OUT THIS FORM 1213 01:05:05,727 --> 01:05:07,729 THAT YOU'RE GOING TO BE NEEDING 1214 01:05:07,773 --> 01:05:10,080 FOR YOUR EXTENSION. 1215 01:05:10,123 --> 01:05:12,038 REALLY? 1216 01:05:12,082 --> 01:05:14,301 THE RAINBOW BRIDGE MOTEL 1217 01:05:14,345 --> 01:05:17,391 TRULY IS THE RAINBOW BRIDGE MOTEL. 1218 01:05:17,435 --> 01:05:21,439 WHOO! 1219 01:05:21,482 --> 01:05:23,093 IT WAS A HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE DISPLAY, 1220 01:05:23,136 --> 01:05:24,572 BUT, YOU KNOW... 1221 01:05:29,795 --> 01:05:31,797 -DARREN! -MOM? 1222 01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:35,192 DARREN! CONGRATULATIONS! 1223 01:05:35,235 --> 01:05:37,455 OH, MAGGIE! 1224 01:05:37,498 --> 01:05:40,937 -OH, MY GOD. HI, FRAN! -HI. 1225 01:05:40,980 --> 01:05:42,764 -WE THOUGHT THAT YOU GOT SUCKED INTO... -GET OUT OF MY WAY. 1226 01:05:42,808 --> 01:05:44,984 ONE OF THOSE GIANT VENTS OUT THERE. 1227 01:05:45,028 --> 01:05:48,857 WE DID! AND WE LOST IT. 1228 01:05:48,901 --> 01:05:51,991 SO, HERE YOU GO AGAIN, HUH? 1229 01:05:52,035 --> 01:05:54,124 THIS PLACE IS-- 1230 01:05:56,082 --> 01:05:58,128 AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, 1231 01:05:58,171 --> 01:06:01,348 YOU WILL ALWAYS BE THE ONLY GIRL FOR MY BOY. 1232 01:06:01,392 --> 01:06:04,134 -THAT WOULD BE YOU. -THAT'S VERY SWEET, FRAN, 1233 01:06:04,177 --> 01:06:05,918 BUT ABSOLUTELY NOT NECESSARY. 1234 01:06:05,962 --> 01:06:08,877 I'M SURE SHE'S WONDERFUL. 1235 01:06:10,836 --> 01:06:12,272 AWESOME! 1236 01:06:15,319 --> 01:06:18,278 -HI, DARREN. -HI, MAGGIE. 1237 01:06:18,322 --> 01:06:21,281 WOW, YOU LOOK AMAZING. 1238 01:06:21,325 --> 01:06:23,153 -YOU HAVEN'T AGED A DAY. -DOESN'T SHE KNOW? 1239 01:06:23,196 --> 01:06:25,372 THANK YOU. AND YOU, TOO. 1240 01:06:25,416 --> 01:06:27,809 YOU LOOK EXACTLY THE WAY I REMEMBER YOU. 1241 01:06:27,853 --> 01:06:31,030 EXCEPT I DON'T THINK I EVER SAW THAT COLOR SHIRT ON YOU. 1242 01:06:31,074 --> 01:06:33,424 EVERYTHING ELSE IS THE SAME. 1243 01:06:35,208 --> 01:06:37,906 I'LL JUST GO GET THE PAPERS, MAGGIE, 1244 01:06:37,950 --> 01:06:39,996 AND GET YOUR OLD JOHN HANCOCK 1245 01:06:40,039 --> 01:06:42,259 AND GET YOU RIGHT ON YOUR WAY. OKAY? 1246 01:06:42,302 --> 01:06:43,825 THAT SOUND GOOD? OKAY. 1247 01:06:43,869 --> 01:06:46,089 I GUESS, CONGRATULATIONS. 1248 01:06:46,132 --> 01:06:50,093 YEAH! OH, YEAH, YEAH. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 1249 01:06:50,136 --> 01:06:52,530 WHY DON'T YOU GIVE HER A HUG. THAT'S THE LEAST YOU CAN DO. 1250 01:06:56,229 --> 01:06:58,188 OKAY. OKAY. 1251 01:06:59,450 --> 01:07:00,886 GREAT. 1252 01:07:00,929 --> 01:07:04,890 SO, UH... THANKS, MAGGIE. 1253 01:07:04,933 --> 01:07:06,892 IT'S UNBELIEVABLE THAT YOU'RE DOING THIS FOR ME. 1254 01:07:06,935 --> 01:07:10,852 I'M ETERNALLY GRATEFUL. HOW WAS THE DRIVE? 1255 01:07:10,896 --> 01:07:14,595 NOT BAD. ONLY 2 1/2, 3 HOURS. 1256 01:07:14,639 --> 01:07:16,989 OH, GREAT, GREAT. THIS SHOULDN'T TAKE THAT LONG. 1257 01:07:17,033 --> 01:07:19,035 THERE'S ONLY ONE PAGE THAT NEEDS TO BE SIGNED. 1258 01:07:19,078 --> 01:07:22,125 YOU CAN STILL MAKE IT BACK WITH ENOUGH DAYLIGHT DRIVING. 1259 01:07:22,168 --> 01:07:24,866 -HAVE YOU TOLD HER? -MOM... 1260 01:07:24,910 --> 01:07:26,433 MAGGIE AND I HAVE TALKED ABOUT THIS, 1261 01:07:26,477 --> 01:07:28,609 -AND WE'RE GOOD. -WE WHAT? 1262 01:07:28,653 --> 01:07:30,524 DO NOT BRING THAT UP. 1263 01:07:30,568 --> 01:07:32,222 SHE DOES NOT HAVE TO KNOW AT THIS POINT. 1264 01:07:32,265 --> 01:07:33,875 OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. 1265 01:07:33,919 --> 01:07:35,442 THIS WASN'T THE THING YOU WERE TRYING TO TELL ME 1266 01:07:35,486 --> 01:07:37,662 WHEN WE GOT DISCONNECTED, IS IT? 1267 01:07:37,705 --> 01:07:40,230 DARREN TELLS ME THAT YOU'RE STILL JEWISH, MAGGIE. 1268 01:07:40,273 --> 01:07:42,667 YEAH, YEAH, I SAID I WAS JEWISH AT THE WEDDING, 1269 01:07:42,710 --> 01:07:44,495 -AND I STILL AM. -FANTASTIC. 1270 01:07:44,538 --> 01:07:47,672 WORKS FOR ME. 1271 01:07:47,715 --> 01:07:49,674 -L'CHAIM! -YEAH! 1272 01:07:49,717 --> 01:07:53,460 -LOOK AT THAT FACE. -OH, GOD. 1273 01:07:53,504 --> 01:07:55,897 I WOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN MARRIED UNDER FALSE PRETENSES. 1274 01:07:55,941 --> 01:07:58,900 IS THAT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT? ARE YOU A BORN-AGAIN CHRISTIAN NOW OR SOMETHING? 1275 01:07:58,944 --> 01:08:00,815 WHAT IS THIS? 1276 01:08:00,859 --> 01:08:03,253 NO, NO. I'M EXACTLY THE SAME. 1277 01:08:03,296 --> 01:08:05,472 -[COUGHS] -NO, I'M NOT. 1278 01:08:05,516 --> 01:08:09,911 UM, I JUST WANTED TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 1279 01:08:09,955 --> 01:08:12,740 -YOU KNOW, UH... -I GOT THE PAPERS RIGHT HERE, MAGGIE. 1280 01:08:12,784 --> 01:08:14,002 WHY DON'T YOU COME ON OVER HERE, 1281 01:08:14,046 --> 01:08:17,615 STEP UP TO THE COUNTER, AND-- AND SIGN. 1282 01:08:17,658 --> 01:08:21,880 WOW, YOU REALLY DON'T WASTE ANY TIME HERE, DO YOU? 1283 01:08:21,923 --> 01:08:25,710 SO THIS IS HOW IT'S GOING TO BE? GET ME IN, GET ME OUT? 1284 01:08:25,753 --> 01:08:27,494 NO, NO. NO. NO, NO, NO. 1285 01:08:27,538 --> 01:08:30,715 IT'S NOT HOW IT IS. 1286 01:08:30,758 --> 01:08:34,719 LISTEN, MAGGIE, WHY DON'T YOU AND DARREN GO OFF SOMEWHERE AND TALK? 1287 01:08:34,762 --> 01:08:37,939 -SHE TOOK A LONG RIDE HERE. -I UNDERSTAND. 1288 01:08:37,983 --> 01:08:40,290 IT COULD BE AWKWARD FOR YOUR FIANCEÉE. 1289 01:08:40,333 --> 01:08:41,552 IS SHE HERE? 1290 01:08:42,553 --> 01:08:44,772 UH... 1291 01:08:48,950 --> 01:08:50,778 YOU MADE MOTEL INTO GAY PARTY HOUSE! 1292 01:08:50,822 --> 01:08:52,954 WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU-- 1293 01:08:52,998 --> 01:08:54,956 MY SON TURN INTO GAY RIGHT HERE. 1294 01:08:55,000 --> 01:08:57,785 TIN, WE HAVE GUESTS. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? 1295 01:08:57,829 --> 01:08:59,309 THE LADY FROM THE AGENCY'S HERE. 1296 01:08:59,352 --> 01:09:01,311 EXCUSE ME. HERE'S YOUR PEN. YOU CAN SIGN IT. 1297 01:09:01,354 --> 01:09:03,965 COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. GET IN THERE. 1298 01:09:04,009 --> 01:09:06,446 -WHAT IS THIS PLACE? -THIS IS WHAT YOU CALL-- 1299 01:09:06,490 --> 01:09:10,537 -HELLO THERE, DARREN. -HELL. 1300 01:09:10,581 --> 01:09:12,800 WE'VE BEEN WONDERING WHERE YOU'VE BEEN HIDING OUT. 1301 01:09:12,844 --> 01:09:15,586 DEAN DIDN'T SCARE YOU STRAIGHT, DID HE? 1302 01:09:17,370 --> 01:09:19,981 OR MAYBE HE HAS. 1303 01:09:20,025 --> 01:09:22,114 HELLO, I'M BRADLEY, 1304 01:09:22,158 --> 01:09:23,376 DEAN'S BEST FRIEND. 1305 01:09:23,420 --> 01:09:24,551 DEAN? 1306 01:09:24,595 --> 01:09:27,685 FRAN, DARREN'S MOTHER. 1307 01:09:27,728 --> 01:09:29,991 AND THIS HERE IS OUR LOVELY MAGGIE. 1308 01:09:30,035 --> 01:09:32,646 THEY WERE ABOUT TO GO GET SOME COFFEE. 1309 01:09:32,690 --> 01:09:34,561 EXCUSE US. 1310 01:09:34,605 --> 01:09:37,173 THIS MOTEL MADE MY SON INTO GAY. 1311 01:09:37,216 --> 01:09:39,175 TIN, THE KID IS FINALLY HAPPY. 1312 01:09:39,218 --> 01:09:41,351 YOU SAID THIS MOTEL WAS FOR US! 1313 01:09:41,394 --> 01:09:43,135 SHOULD WE GO BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS, 1314 01:09:43,179 --> 01:09:45,572 WAITING FOR TRUCKERS TO CHECK IN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT 1315 01:09:45,616 --> 01:09:48,401 TO MEET UP WITH THEIR HOOKERS AND METH DEALERS? 1316 01:09:51,970 --> 01:09:55,800 OH, I'M-- I'M REALLY SORRY. 1317 01:09:55,843 --> 01:09:57,845 I'M-- I'M SO SORRY. 1318 01:09:57,889 --> 01:10:00,544 WHERE'S MY HORMONES? MY HORMONES ARE GONE! 1319 01:10:00,587 --> 01:10:02,154 -DAW THOUGHT IT WAS AN ENERGY DRINK. -THEY'RE GONE! 1320 01:10:02,198 --> 01:10:04,809 IT'S JUST NOTHING MORE THAN A CULTURAL FAUX PAS. 1321 01:10:05,940 --> 01:10:08,987 -OH, MY GOD! -OH, MY GOD! 1322 01:10:09,030 --> 01:10:10,075 OH, MY GOD! 1323 01:10:12,295 --> 01:10:14,035 [DEAN] ARE YOU OKAY? CAN I GET YOU A-- 1324 01:10:14,079 --> 01:10:15,123 I'M FINE. I'M FINE. 1325 01:10:15,167 --> 01:10:16,386 LET ME GET YOU SOME ICE! 1326 01:10:16,429 --> 01:10:17,822 PLEASE, MOM, NO! I DO NOT NEED ICE! 1327 01:10:17,865 --> 01:10:19,606 WE'RE ALL LOVERS HERE, BABY. 1328 01:10:19,650 --> 01:10:21,782 DID YOU BLACK OUT? LET ME SEE YOUR EYES. 1329 01:10:21,826 --> 01:10:23,610 -YOU'RE BLEEDING. PUT THIS AGAINST YOUR LIP. -I AM NOT BLEEDING. 1330 01:10:23,654 --> 01:10:25,873 [DEAN] PUPILS ARE THE SAME SIZE. THAT'S A GOOD SIGN. 1331 01:10:25,917 --> 01:10:29,964 I'M FINE! I'M FINE! EVERYBODY JUST STEP AWAY. 1332 01:10:30,008 --> 01:10:31,270 [DEAN] OKAY. 1333 01:10:31,314 --> 01:10:35,013 HI, I'M DEAN, DARREN'S FIANCEÉ. 1334 01:10:35,056 --> 01:10:39,235 -YOU MUST BE MAGGIE. -FIANCEÉ? 1335 01:10:40,845 --> 01:10:42,890 DARREN, YOU'RE GAY? 1336 01:10:44,762 --> 01:10:46,285 WOW. 1337 01:10:46,329 --> 01:10:49,636 GAY? HOW COULD I HAVE NOT FIGURED THIS OUT? 1338 01:10:49,680 --> 01:10:51,769 YOU MEAN, YOU DIDN'T PICK UP ON THE SIGNS, SWEETIE? 1339 01:10:51,812 --> 01:10:55,076 BACKWARDS BASEBALL CAPS, SWEATY T-SHIRTS, MURALS? 1340 01:10:55,120 --> 01:10:58,210 -IT'S ALL SO OBVIOUS. -STAY OUT OF THIS, BRADLEY. 1341 01:10:58,254 --> 01:10:59,864 PARDON ME, BUT I THINK AT THIS POINT 1342 01:10:59,907 --> 01:11:01,431 WE ALL HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW. 1343 01:11:01,474 --> 01:11:04,085 ARE YOU BUTCH CASSIDY OR THE SUNDANCE KID? 1344 01:11:04,129 --> 01:11:09,265 WELL, HI, I'M MAGGIE, THE APPARENTLY CLUELESS JILTED EX-WIFE. 1345 01:11:09,308 --> 01:11:10,657 YOU DIDN'T TELL HER. 1346 01:11:10,701 --> 01:11:13,138 WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? 1347 01:11:13,181 --> 01:11:15,662 I DIDN'T WANNA BOTHER HER. IT'S BEEN 10 YEARS. 1348 01:11:15,706 --> 01:11:17,316 WHAT'S THE POINT? WHY DOES SHE NEED TO KNOW? 1349 01:11:17,360 --> 01:11:18,926 [MAGGIE] BECAUSE IT'S THE TRUTH. 1350 01:11:18,970 --> 01:11:20,537 I'VE BEEN WALKING AROUND THESE 10 YEARS 1351 01:11:20,580 --> 01:11:22,016 WONDERING WHAT DID I DO WRONG? 1352 01:11:22,060 --> 01:11:23,801 SHOULD I HAVE DYED MY HAIR BLONDE? 1353 01:11:23,844 --> 01:11:26,020 SHOULD I HAVE COOKED MORE ITALIAN FOOD? 1354 01:11:26,064 --> 01:11:28,458 SHOULD I HAVE WORN THAT BLACK LEATHER LINGERIE YOU BOUGHT ME? 1355 01:11:28,501 --> 01:11:29,937 I THOUGHT THAT WAS OUR THING. 1356 01:11:29,981 --> 01:11:31,287 IT'S NOT THE SAME THING. 1357 01:11:31,330 --> 01:11:32,940 YOURS HAS THOSE BUCKLES. 1358 01:11:32,984 --> 01:11:35,639 I THINK I'M GOING TO GO OUT AND GET SOME AIR. 1359 01:11:35,682 --> 01:11:37,423 GOOD LUCK. THERE'S NOT ANY OUT THERE. 1360 01:11:37,467 --> 01:11:38,729 [SIGHS] 1361 01:11:38,772 --> 01:11:40,339 [DEAN] INCREDIBLE. 1362 01:11:40,383 --> 01:11:42,907 AFTER ALL THE RIGHTS WE'VE FOUGHT FOR, 1363 01:11:42,950 --> 01:11:45,301 AND YOU'RE STILL AFRAID, AREN'T YOU, DARREN? 1364 01:11:45,344 --> 01:11:46,606 AFRAID OF WHAT, DEAN? 1365 01:11:46,650 --> 01:11:49,827 THIS? YES. YES, I'M AFRAID OF THIS. 1366 01:11:49,870 --> 01:11:51,481 THIS IS MADNESS. 1367 01:11:51,524 --> 01:11:54,048 THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS HOPING TO AVOID. 1368 01:11:54,092 --> 01:11:57,704 NOBODY NEEDED TO KNOW ANYTHING. 1369 01:11:57,748 --> 01:12:00,316 [DEAN] IS THAT WHY YOU CHOSE THIS PLACE, 1370 01:12:00,359 --> 01:12:04,320 TO REMAIN ANONYMOUS HERE IN THE GAY WEDDING CAPITAL? 1371 01:12:04,363 --> 01:12:06,147 IS THAT WHY WE'RE HERE, 1372 01:12:06,191 --> 01:12:08,759 THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY FROM OUR HOME? 1373 01:12:08,802 --> 01:12:11,544 WHERE ARE YOUR FRIENDS FROM WORK? 1374 01:12:11,588 --> 01:12:12,980 OH, I GET IT. 1375 01:12:13,024 --> 01:12:15,505 A GAY DESTINATION WEDDING IN NIAGARA FALLS 1376 01:12:15,548 --> 01:12:17,158 OFFERS A PERFECT EXCUSE 1377 01:12:17,202 --> 01:12:19,291 NOT TO INVITE ANYONE FROM OUR LIVES. 1378 01:12:19,335 --> 01:12:22,163 ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT THE ONE HIDING OUT, DEAN? 1379 01:12:22,207 --> 01:12:23,948 YOU'RE A CANADIAN CITIZEN. YEAH. 1380 01:12:23,991 --> 01:12:26,342 IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE DOING IN ARIZONA? 1381 01:12:26,385 --> 01:12:29,432 WOW. HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY ASTHMA. 1382 01:12:29,475 --> 01:12:31,042 YOU KNOW I NEED A DESERT CLIMATE. 1383 01:12:31,085 --> 01:12:33,523 I DO, AND I KNOW THAT YOU WANTED 1384 01:12:33,566 --> 01:12:36,743 TO SEE NIAGARA FALLS JUST AS MUCH AS I DID. 1385 01:12:36,787 --> 01:12:40,530 BUT WHEN WE GOT HERE, I JUST ACCEPTED THE KITSCH FACTOR. 1386 01:12:40,573 --> 01:12:44,055 BUT YOU REFUSE TO SEE IT. LONZIE GETS IT! 1387 01:12:44,098 --> 01:12:45,970 LONZIE LIVES IN AN ABANDONED MISSILE SILO. 1388 01:12:46,013 --> 01:12:48,320 THAT'S NOT THE STRONGEST ARGUMENT, DARREN! 1389 01:12:48,364 --> 01:12:51,454 REALLY? ARE THOSE STILL AVAILABLE? 1390 01:12:54,805 --> 01:12:57,721 WOW, I GET IT. 1391 01:12:57,764 --> 01:13:02,552 YOU WANT A NICE, QUIET, HIDDEN GAY LIFE. 1392 01:13:02,595 --> 01:13:05,163 HELL, YOU MIGHT EVEN HAVE A FLING WITH A WOMAN AGAIN SOME DAY. 1393 01:13:05,206 --> 01:13:07,208 YOU'RE STILL CLOSETED, DARREN, 1394 01:13:07,252 --> 01:13:10,821 IT'S JUST NOW IT'S A SLIGHTLY ROOMIER ONE. 1395 01:13:12,736 --> 01:13:15,391 I WANTED A CROSS 1396 01:13:15,434 --> 01:13:19,003 AND A JESUS AND A PRIEST. 1397 01:13:19,046 --> 01:13:22,006 I HAD NO IDEA I NEEDED A PARTNER 1398 01:13:22,049 --> 01:13:23,399 WHO WAS WILLING TO BE HIMSELF. 1399 01:13:25,618 --> 01:13:28,795 I'M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW, 1400 01:13:28,839 --> 01:13:31,276 AND I HAVE NO IDEA IF I HAVE ANY OF THOSE THINGS. 1401 01:13:36,455 --> 01:13:38,588 [LONZIE] HEY! HEY! HEY! 1402 01:13:38,631 --> 01:13:40,590 PARTY IN CANADA! 1403 01:13:40,633 --> 01:13:43,419 PARTY IN CANADA-LA-LA-LA! 1404 01:13:43,462 --> 01:13:46,291 COME ON. LET'S GO! 1405 01:13:46,334 --> 01:13:48,598 IF YOU ASK ME, I'M NOT SURE YOU CAN HANDLE 1406 01:13:48,641 --> 01:13:50,034 ANY FOREIGN AFFAIRS RIGHT NOW 1407 01:13:50,077 --> 01:13:54,865 UNTIL YOU TACKLE YOUR DOMESTIC ISSUES. 1408 01:14:11,795 --> 01:14:13,840 MAGGIE. MAGGIE, I'M SORRY. 1409 01:14:13,884 --> 01:14:16,974 IT'S JUST LIKE A PUZZLE. 1410 01:14:17,017 --> 01:14:18,976 MAGGIE, I'M SORRY. I'M SO SORRY. 1411 01:14:19,019 --> 01:14:20,891 I SIGNED YOUR PAPERS. THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED. THAT'S WHAT I DID. 1412 01:14:20,934 --> 01:14:23,284 GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR NEW LIFE, DARREN. 1413 01:14:23,328 --> 01:14:24,460 I HOPE YOU'RE MORE HONEST WITH DEAN 1414 01:14:24,503 --> 01:14:25,896 THAN YOU WERE WITH ME. 1415 01:14:25,939 --> 01:14:27,463 MAGGIE, THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED TO SEE YOU. 1416 01:14:27,506 --> 01:14:29,290 IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY, REALLY. 1417 01:14:29,334 --> 01:14:31,728 I'LL HAVE A NICE, PLEASANT THREE-HOUR DRIVE HOME 1418 01:14:31,771 --> 01:14:33,077 THINKING ABOUT NOTHING ELSE 1419 01:14:33,120 --> 01:14:34,470 EXCEPT HOW I TURNED THE MAN I LOVE 1420 01:14:34,513 --> 01:14:35,949 INTO LOVING ANOTHER MAN. 1421 01:14:35,993 --> 01:14:37,951 THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. 1422 01:14:37,995 --> 01:14:40,127 BELIEVE ME. IT'S NOT EVEN RELATED. 1423 01:14:40,171 --> 01:14:43,087 -UGH! -I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD BE DRIVING. 1424 01:14:43,130 --> 01:14:46,090 NO, I'M FINE. THERE ARE OVER A HUNDRED WINERIES ON THE WAY HOME. 1425 01:14:46,133 --> 01:14:47,657 I'LL JUST STICK TO THE DRY REDS, 1426 01:14:47,700 --> 01:14:49,659 VENTURE INTO THE FRUITY BLUSHES, 1427 01:14:49,702 --> 01:14:51,574 AND IF I STILL CAN'T STOP BLAMING MYSELF, 1428 01:14:51,617 --> 01:14:54,620 I'LL HIT THE CABERNET SAUVIGNONS. 1429 01:14:54,664 --> 01:14:56,796 HOPEFULLY I'LL REMEMBER TO TAKE IN THE VIEWS. 1430 01:14:56,840 --> 01:14:59,843 [FRAN] MAGGIE! PLEASE. 1431 01:14:59,886 --> 01:15:02,802 PLEASE, MAGGIE, MAGGIE. MAGGIE, WAIT. 1432 01:15:02,846 --> 01:15:04,717 GOOD-BYE, FRAN. 1433 01:15:08,112 --> 01:15:11,724 HI, ISAAC. SORRY WE DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO CATCH UP. 1434 01:15:17,077 --> 01:15:20,341 DARREN, 1435 01:15:20,385 --> 01:15:22,561 YOU ARE NOT GONNA LET HER GO. 1436 01:15:22,605 --> 01:15:25,782 LOOK AT YOU TWO. 1437 01:15:25,825 --> 01:15:28,132 YOU STILL HAVE CHEMISTRY. 1438 01:15:28,175 --> 01:15:31,135 -YOU WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER. -MOM. 1439 01:15:31,178 --> 01:15:34,660 I'M YOUR MOTHER. I KNOW THESE THINGS. 1440 01:15:34,704 --> 01:15:37,707 MOM, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? 1441 01:15:37,750 --> 01:15:42,233 BECAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, 1442 01:15:42,276 --> 01:15:46,542 AND IT DOESN'T HURT THAT SHE'S STILL A MEMBER OF THE TRIBE. 1443 01:15:48,021 --> 01:15:49,545 YOU'RE NOT JEWISH. 1444 01:15:50,981 --> 01:15:52,983 YOU'RE NOT. 1445 01:15:53,026 --> 01:15:54,506 HAVING A GREAT-GRANDFATHER 1446 01:15:54,550 --> 01:15:56,377 ON YOUR FATHER'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY 1447 01:15:56,421 --> 01:15:59,555 DOES NOT MAKE YOU JEWISH! 1448 01:15:59,598 --> 01:16:01,382 EVEN THE NAZIS WOULD GIVE YOU A PASS, 1449 01:16:01,426 --> 01:16:02,949 BUT THEY WOULDN'T GIVE ME ONE 1450 01:16:02,993 --> 01:16:05,430 BECAUSE I AM A HUNDRED PERCENT GAY! 1451 01:16:08,955 --> 01:16:10,174 I'M GAY. 1452 01:16:18,922 --> 01:16:22,403 YOU EXHAUST ME. 1453 01:16:22,447 --> 01:16:28,192 WHAT KIND OF LIFE ARE YOU AND DEAN GOING TO LIVE? 1454 01:16:28,235 --> 01:16:32,631 HOW CAN YOU LET THIS GIRL GO AGAIN? 1455 01:16:36,461 --> 01:16:39,203 YOU KNOW WHAT, MOM? 1456 01:16:39,246 --> 01:16:41,771 YOU'RE RIGHT. 1457 01:16:41,814 --> 01:16:43,990 I'M NOT GONNA LET MAGGIE GO THIS TIME. 1458 01:16:44,034 --> 01:16:45,035 BLESS YOU. 1459 01:16:47,298 --> 01:16:48,821 MAGGIE... 1460 01:16:51,258 --> 01:16:53,391 YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND SINCE SEVENTH GRADE. 1461 01:16:53,434 --> 01:16:56,786 YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND ALL THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL. 1462 01:16:58,222 --> 01:17:00,877 I WANT MY FRIEND BACK. 1463 01:17:00,920 --> 01:17:02,835 I'M NOT GOING TO GO ANOTHER 10 YEARS 1464 01:17:02,879 --> 01:17:04,271 WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE. 1465 01:17:06,230 --> 01:17:09,625 MAGGIE, 1466 01:17:09,668 --> 01:17:13,019 WILL YOU BE MY-- 1467 01:17:13,063 --> 01:17:15,805 MY BEST MAN? 1468 01:17:15,848 --> 01:17:19,286 OR BEST WOMAN. 1469 01:17:19,330 --> 01:17:21,245 -I DON'T KNOW. THIS IS SO-- -OY GEVALT. 1470 01:17:21,288 --> 01:17:24,074 -THIS IS NOT EASY. -I KNOW. 1471 01:17:35,738 --> 01:17:38,001 JUST SAY YES. 1472 01:17:38,044 --> 01:17:40,307 UH, HUG. 1473 01:17:42,875 --> 01:17:44,572 DO WE HAVE ANY OTHER CHOICE? 1474 01:17:44,616 --> 01:17:46,749 I'M SORRY. 1475 01:17:53,712 --> 01:17:56,454 WE WERE FRIENDS A LOT LONGER THAN WE WERE A MARRIED COUPLE. 1476 01:17:59,413 --> 01:18:00,676 WE CAN DO THIS, RIGHT? 1477 01:18:00,719 --> 01:18:03,853 -YEAH. -OKAY. 1478 01:18:04,984 --> 01:18:09,728 NOW, MY LOVELY JEWESS, 1479 01:18:09,772 --> 01:18:12,862 WILL YOU HELP ME STEAL A CROSS AND A JESUS? 1480 01:18:19,303 --> 01:18:22,219 [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING] 1481 01:18:33,926 --> 01:18:36,146 [DEAN] AND WE CAN'T FIND LONZIE. 1482 01:18:36,189 --> 01:18:37,756 WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT, 1483 01:18:37,800 --> 01:18:39,149 TRIPPING ON PEYOTE, 1484 01:18:39,192 --> 01:18:40,890 COMPLETELY PANICKED. 1485 01:18:40,933 --> 01:18:43,980 OH, MY GOD, WHO PUT THIS ALL TOGETHER? 1486 01:18:44,023 --> 01:18:45,764 YOUR FUTURE SON-IN-LAW DARREN. 1487 01:18:45,808 --> 01:18:47,461 AND THIS IS THE PLACE WHERE THEY EXPLODED 1488 01:18:47,505 --> 01:18:49,507 -THE FIRST ATOMIC BOMB? -EXACTLY. 1489 01:18:49,550 --> 01:18:51,117 AND WE LOOK BEHIND US, 1490 01:18:51,161 --> 01:18:55,426 AND THERE IS LONZIE CUMMING ON GROUND ZERO 1491 01:18:55,469 --> 01:18:57,994 WITH A JAPANESE MAN! 1492 01:18:58,037 --> 01:19:02,999 -IT'S LIKE-- -IT WAS THE MAKEUP SEX FOR WORLD WAR II, OKAY? 1493 01:19:08,613 --> 01:19:09,832 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1494 01:19:09,875 --> 01:19:13,487 STOP POUTING. 1495 01:19:13,531 --> 01:19:16,621 DARREN IS A GREAT, CREATIVE GUY. 1496 01:19:18,841 --> 01:19:21,582 HE DOES THIS. HE GETS ALL QUIET WHEN HE'S UPSET. 1497 01:19:21,626 --> 01:19:24,672 STOP IT. 1498 01:19:24,716 --> 01:19:26,500 COME ON, IT'S YOUR WEDDING. 1499 01:19:30,635 --> 01:19:34,204 OKAY, BOYS, THIS OLD HAG HAS TO GET TO BED. 1500 01:19:38,295 --> 01:19:40,776 DON'T DO ANYTHING I WOULDN'T DO. COME ON. 1501 01:19:40,819 --> 01:19:42,734 DON'T WORRY, MRS. D., WE'LL KEEP THE ORGY 1502 01:19:42,778 --> 01:19:43,953 TO JUST UNDER 10 PEOPLE. 1503 01:19:43,996 --> 01:19:45,389 THAT'S MY BOYS. 1504 01:19:47,347 --> 01:19:48,566 SMILE! 1505 01:19:49,959 --> 01:19:52,091 IT'S GONNA BE GREAT. 1506 01:20:07,846 --> 01:20:10,414 WHERE DID HE GO? DO YOU SEE HIM? 1507 01:20:10,457 --> 01:20:11,981 I THINK HE WENT BEHIND THE CHURCH. 1508 01:20:12,024 --> 01:20:13,809 YOU SURE YOU WANNA DO THIS? IT'S REALLY DARK. 1509 01:20:13,852 --> 01:20:15,636 MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE 99-CENT STORE 1510 01:20:15,680 --> 01:20:16,986 THAT WE PASSED ON THE WAY HERE. 1511 01:20:17,029 --> 01:20:19,075 I DON'T THINK DECORATING THE RAINBOW CHAPEL 1512 01:20:19,118 --> 01:20:20,816 WITH A 99-CENT PLASTIC BABY JESUS 1513 01:20:20,859 --> 01:20:22,426 IS GONNA MAKE A BIG ENOUGH SPLASH. 1514 01:20:22,469 --> 01:20:26,212 DEAN IS A-- HE'S A FORCE. HE'S A FORCE OF NATURE, 1515 01:20:26,256 --> 01:20:28,824 AND I'VE BEEN REALLY SPINELESS LATELY. 1516 01:20:28,867 --> 01:20:29,999 -AS YOU KNOW. -MM. 1517 01:20:30,042 --> 01:20:32,653 I GOTTA MAKE A GRAND GESTURE. 1518 01:20:32,697 --> 01:20:34,786 MAYBE A SOUVENIR SHOP THEN. 1519 01:20:34,830 --> 01:20:36,832 THE BEST WE'RE GONNA GET IS A VELVET PAINTING OF JESUS 1520 01:20:36,875 --> 01:20:38,659 HOVERING OVER THE FALLS IN THE MIST, 1521 01:20:38,703 --> 01:20:41,749 OR A MOTHER MARY SNOW GLOBE, OR BOTH ON A PEWTER PLATE. 1522 01:20:41,793 --> 01:20:45,492 ALTHOUGH VERY COOL, IT'S NOT THE REAL VIBE I'M LOOKING FOR. 1523 01:20:47,494 --> 01:20:50,367 OKAY. HEY, I THINK I FOUND AN ENTRANCE. 1524 01:20:50,410 --> 01:20:53,457 OKAY, OKAY. STAY IN THE CAR. 1525 01:20:53,500 --> 01:20:55,938 KEEP IT LOCKED. WE'RE GOING IN. 1526 01:21:01,987 --> 01:21:03,249 THANKS, MAGGIE. 1527 01:21:04,642 --> 01:21:05,773 SURE. 1528 01:21:11,823 --> 01:21:14,086 [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING] 1529 01:21:19,962 --> 01:21:23,052 LAST NIGHT OF FREEDOM! 1530 01:21:25,793 --> 01:21:27,752 WHAT? NOT HOT ENOUGH? 1531 01:21:28,927 --> 01:21:30,189 IT'S YOUR BACHELOR PARTY. 1532 01:21:30,233 --> 01:21:32,278 AREN'T YOU EXPECTED TO INDULGE? 1533 01:21:32,322 --> 01:21:35,064 THAT WOULDN'T BE RIGHT. 1534 01:21:35,107 --> 01:21:38,894 PLEASE, HONEY, THE GUY'S GOT HIS WIFE HERE. 1535 01:21:38,937 --> 01:21:42,898 -EX-WIFE. -THAT HE FAILED TO TELL YOU ABOUT. 1536 01:21:42,941 --> 01:21:45,161 COME ON. ENJOY. 1537 01:21:45,204 --> 01:21:48,077 THIS IS THE LAST FLING, AND FROM WHAT I SAW, 1538 01:21:48,120 --> 01:21:50,383 WHO KNOWS WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TOMORROW. 1539 01:21:53,038 --> 01:21:57,869 YOUNG MAN, I OFFER YOU A MEDICINAL TONIC-- 1540 01:21:57,913 --> 01:22:01,525 A FAIR MAIDEN. NO, NO, NO, NO. 1541 01:22:01,568 --> 01:22:04,615 YES, A WOMAN TO EVEN OUT THE PLAYING FIELD. 1542 01:22:04,658 --> 01:22:07,139 JUST ONE SACRIFICIAL PLUNGE 1543 01:22:07,183 --> 01:22:10,055 INTO THAT HOT AND STEAMY VOLCANO 1544 01:22:10,099 --> 01:22:13,493 WILL FREE YOU OF YOUR PARTNER'S TRANSGRESSIONS. 1545 01:22:13,537 --> 01:22:16,279 I INTRODUCE TO YOU... 1546 01:22:19,717 --> 01:22:20,936 JUSTICE! 1547 01:22:25,941 --> 01:22:27,681 HI. 1548 01:22:32,382 --> 01:22:34,558 YOU ARE SICK, DEMENTED, 1549 01:22:34,601 --> 01:22:37,953 AND QUITE POSSIBLY FULL OF EVERY STD IN THE BOOK, 1550 01:22:37,996 --> 01:22:39,345 BUT YOU ARE A SOCIAL GENIUS, 1551 01:22:39,389 --> 01:22:41,347 AND I AM PROUD TO BE YOUR FRIEND. 1552 01:22:42,914 --> 01:22:47,963 -[MUSIC CONTINUES] -[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 1553 01:23:01,019 --> 01:23:05,589 -[MEN SHOUTING] -[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 1554 01:23:05,632 --> 01:23:07,852 WE GET A LOT OF YOUR KIND UP HERE, 1555 01:23:07,895 --> 01:23:10,376 HIPSTERS COMING IN FROM BUFFALO, 1556 01:23:10,420 --> 01:23:13,031 FIGURING THEY CAN GRAB WHATEVER THEY WANT FROM OUR HISTORY. 1557 01:23:13,075 --> 01:23:17,601 THE BUILDINGS IN THIS CITY AREN'T A FREE FOR ALL. 1558 01:23:17,644 --> 01:23:20,386 YOU CAN'T TAKE STUFF OUT OF BUILDINGS, 1559 01:23:20,430 --> 01:23:22,649 MUCH LESS CHURCHES. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 1560 01:23:22,693 --> 01:23:25,739 OFFICER, HIS HUSBAND-TO-BE IS A DEVOUT CATHOLIC. 1561 01:23:30,831 --> 01:23:34,618 MAYBE YOU TWO CAN WORK ON YOUR STORY A LITTLE BIT BETTER. 1562 01:23:34,661 --> 01:23:36,359 HEY, THAT'S A GOOD ONE. EH, FATHER? 1563 01:23:36,402 --> 01:23:38,796 LET'S SEE WHAT THEY GOT HERE FROM YOU. 1564 01:23:38,839 --> 01:23:41,233 THEY GOT ONE... 1565 01:23:43,670 --> 01:23:45,107 MAHOGANY CROSS. 1566 01:23:45,150 --> 01:23:46,630 [NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 1567 01:23:46,673 --> 01:23:49,415 WE GOT A STATUE OF, 1568 01:23:49,459 --> 01:23:53,419 UH, ST. PETER? 1569 01:23:53,463 --> 01:23:56,640 OR IS IT MOSES? 1570 01:23:56,683 --> 01:24:00,426 -IT'S ST. JOSEPH, RONALD. -YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS JESUS? 1571 01:24:00,470 --> 01:24:03,429 THEY DO RESEMBLE EACH OTHER. IT IS HIS FATHER. 1572 01:24:03,473 --> 01:24:05,431 OR IS THAT GOD? 1573 01:24:05,475 --> 01:24:07,520 [RON] ARE YOU GOING TO PRESS CHARGES OR NOT? 1574 01:24:09,261 --> 01:24:11,524 I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, MY SON. 1575 01:24:11,568 --> 01:24:15,050 YOUR PARTNER CAME TO THE CHURCH. 1576 01:24:15,093 --> 01:24:17,443 HE WANTED TO GET MARRIED IN MY CHURCH WITH YOU. 1577 01:24:17,487 --> 01:24:19,358 HE WANTED ME TO PERFORM THE WEDDING. 1578 01:24:19,402 --> 01:24:21,447 I KNOW THAT YOU ONLY TRIED 1579 01:24:21,491 --> 01:24:25,234 TO TURN HIS DREAM INTO A REALITY. 1580 01:24:25,277 --> 01:24:28,019 I CANNOT APPROVE OF YOUR WEDDING. 1581 01:24:28,063 --> 01:24:31,979 I CERTAINLY CANNOT APPROVE OF YOU STEALING FROM THE CHURCH, 1582 01:24:32,023 --> 01:24:36,680 BUT I DO KNOW WHEN I WITNESS AN ACT OF LOVE OF THIS MAGNITUDE, 1583 01:24:36,723 --> 01:24:39,161 AND GOD'S HAND IS SURELY IN IT. 1584 01:24:41,380 --> 01:24:44,905 I WANT YOU TO TAKE THIS CROSS 1585 01:24:44,949 --> 01:24:46,733 AND THE STATUE. 1586 01:24:48,953 --> 01:24:51,738 CONSIDER THEM WEDDING GIFTS. 1587 01:24:53,610 --> 01:24:56,134 AND GOD BLESS YOU, MY SON. 1588 01:24:58,919 --> 01:25:01,574 OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. OKAY. 1589 01:25:03,533 --> 01:25:04,969 NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. 1590 01:25:05,012 --> 01:25:06,492 I GOT THE WHOLE THING WORKED OUT. 1591 01:25:06,536 --> 01:25:09,104 I HAVE TALKED TO THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY, 1592 01:25:09,147 --> 01:25:13,108 AND I THINK WE CAN PLEAD THIS DOWN TO A MISDEMEANOR. 1593 01:25:13,151 --> 01:25:16,502 DOESN'T HURT THAT I'M THE FORMER TRAFFIC COURT JUDGE. 1594 01:25:16,546 --> 01:25:19,984 EASY THERE, CHIEF. THE FATHER'S NOT PRESSING CHARGES. 1595 01:25:22,247 --> 01:25:23,640 HE'S NOT-- 1596 01:25:23,683 --> 01:25:26,686 HE'S NOT DOING THE WEDDING, IS HE? 1597 01:25:28,340 --> 01:25:29,733 [SHIBBAWITZ] IT'S CENTERED. IT'S CENTERED. 1598 01:25:29,776 --> 01:25:31,517 -IT LOOKS PERFECT. -I GOT IT, I GOT IT. 1599 01:25:31,561 --> 01:25:33,302 -[BURMESE MUSIC PLAYING] -IT REALLY-- ALL RIGHT. 1600 01:25:33,345 --> 01:25:35,130 IT'S GOOD. JUST LET ME DO IT. 1601 01:25:37,349 --> 01:25:40,004 YEAH. THAT'S NICE. NICE. 1602 01:25:46,358 --> 01:25:47,881 DARREN! DARREN! 1603 01:25:47,925 --> 01:25:49,579 DARREN! DARREN, WE NEED TO TALK TO YOU. 1604 01:25:49,622 --> 01:25:52,973 NO, NO, NO, GO AWAY. GO. DON'T LOOK. 1605 01:25:53,017 --> 01:25:54,758 I WANT TO DO THIS FOR DEAN. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, 1606 01:25:54,801 --> 01:25:56,107 PLEASE DON'T TELL HIM. 1607 01:25:59,023 --> 01:26:03,158 -WHERE IS DEAN? -IT'S MY FAULT. 1608 01:26:03,201 --> 01:26:04,768 WE WERE WALKING OVER THE BORDER, 1609 01:26:04,811 --> 01:26:07,423 WALKING OVER THE RAINBOW BRIDGE TO THE UNITED STATES 1610 01:26:07,466 --> 01:26:09,773 WHEN THIS SEXY BORDER AGENT WAS REALLY-- 1611 01:26:09,816 --> 01:26:12,993 NO, NO, NO, YOU DID NOT START FLIRTING WITH A BORDER GUARD. 1612 01:26:13,037 --> 01:26:14,995 YES! FORGIVE ME, I HAVE A WEAKNESS. 1613 01:26:15,039 --> 01:26:17,302 YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT DOMINANT MEN IN UNIFORM. 1614 01:26:17,346 --> 01:26:19,870 IT WAS JUST TOO MUCH, DARREN. DON'T JUDGE. IT'S A WEAKNESS. 1615 01:26:19,913 --> 01:26:21,393 THERE'S NO END TO YOUR WEAKNESSES. 1616 01:26:21,437 --> 01:26:23,308 AND THEN WE WERE IN THIS SCARY ROOM 1617 01:26:23,352 --> 01:26:25,092 BEING INTERROGATED BY HOMELAND SECURITY. 1618 01:26:25,136 --> 01:26:27,834 -IT WASN'T HOMELAND SECURITY. -YOU DON'T KNOW THAT! 1619 01:26:27,878 --> 01:26:31,795 OKAY, THERE WAS A MOMENT I SWEAR WE WERE GONNA GET SENT TO GUANTANAMO BAY! 1620 01:26:31,838 --> 01:26:34,145 AND I CAN'T HANDLE THAT, NOT EVEN FOR A SECOND. 1621 01:26:34,189 --> 01:26:36,713 I NEED OPEN SPACES. 1622 01:26:36,756 --> 01:26:38,584 OKAY, SO WHAT HAPPENED, LONZIE? WHAT DID YOU DO, LONZIE? 1623 01:26:38,628 --> 01:26:40,630 OKAY, OKAY, DON'T JUDGE. 1624 01:26:45,635 --> 01:26:50,379 I ACCIDENTALLY TOLD THEM ABOUT DEAN'S WORK VISA. 1625 01:26:50,422 --> 01:26:52,032 -OH, MY GOD! -STOP IT, LONZIE. 1626 01:26:52,076 --> 01:26:53,425 THEY KNEW ABOUT DEAN'S VISA 1627 01:26:53,469 --> 01:26:54,731 LONG BEFORE YOU WERE INTERROGATED. 1628 01:26:54,774 --> 01:26:57,212 OKAY, WHAT-- WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? 1629 01:26:57,255 --> 01:26:59,214 IT MEANS THAT DEAN IS STUCK IN CANADA. 1630 01:26:59,257 --> 01:27:01,825 HE'S AT SOME DETENTION CENTER AT THE RAINBOW BRIDGE. 1631 01:27:01,868 --> 01:27:03,392 -THEY WON'T LET HIM THROUGH. -THAT'S NOT GOOD. 1632 01:27:03,435 --> 01:27:04,654 BRADLEY STAYED BACK WITH HIM. 1633 01:27:04,697 --> 01:27:07,222 OH, GOD, THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING. 1634 01:27:07,265 --> 01:27:10,442 I'M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW. I'M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW. 1635 01:27:10,486 --> 01:27:14,054 DO YOU HEAR ME? THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING. 1636 01:27:14,098 --> 01:27:18,058 WELL, HE'S SO SORRY, AND HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH, DARREN. 1637 01:27:18,102 --> 01:27:20,278 SO MUCH. AND I SWEAR NOTHING HAPPENED OVER THERE. 1638 01:27:20,322 --> 01:27:22,062 -HE LOVES YOU, MAN. -WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 1639 01:27:22,106 --> 01:27:23,847 I DIDN'T THINK ANYTHING HAPPENED OVER THERE. 1640 01:27:23,890 --> 01:27:25,240 BUT NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT-- 1641 01:27:25,283 --> 01:27:27,546 OKAY. OKAY, I GOT IT. I GOT IT. 1642 01:27:27,590 --> 01:27:29,635 THIS IS HOW IT'S GOTTA-- WOW, I'M GOOD. 1643 01:27:29,679 --> 01:27:32,159 OOH, AM I GOOD. THIS IS HOW IT'S GONNA WORK, RIGHT? 1644 01:27:32,203 --> 01:27:34,249 DEAN CAN'T COME OVER HERE, 1645 01:27:34,292 --> 01:27:36,251 AND YOU CAN'T GET MARRIED IN CANADA, 1646 01:27:36,294 --> 01:27:41,691 BUT WHAT IF WE HAVE THE WEDDING ON THE SIDEWALK 1647 01:27:41,734 --> 01:27:43,432 OF THE RAINBOW BRIDGE? 1648 01:27:43,475 --> 01:27:45,651 RIGHT? DEAN WALKS OUT INTO THE MIDDLE. 1649 01:27:45,695 --> 01:27:48,088 DARREN AND HIS FAMILY COME OUT IN THE MIDDLE 1650 01:27:48,132 --> 01:27:51,091 IN INTERNATIONAL AMBIGUOUS TERRITORY. 1651 01:27:51,135 --> 01:27:55,052 I DO THE WEDDING VOWS. I STAMP THE PAPERS. 1652 01:27:55,095 --> 01:27:58,273 AND VOILA, DEAN IS AN AMERICAN CITIZEN. 1653 01:27:58,316 --> 01:27:59,578 IT CAN'T MISS. 1654 01:28:01,145 --> 01:28:02,102 THAT SOUNDS INSANE. 1655 01:28:02,146 --> 01:28:03,495 THANK YOU. 1656 01:28:03,539 --> 01:28:05,062 BUT BRILLIANT. 1657 01:28:05,105 --> 01:28:06,846 REALLY? 1658 01:28:06,890 --> 01:28:09,458 -WILL IT WORK? -MAYBE. 1659 01:28:09,501 --> 01:28:10,937 MAYBE. 1660 01:28:14,332 --> 01:28:16,682 WE ARE SO DOING THIS! 1661 01:28:16,726 --> 01:28:17,901 YEAH! 1662 01:28:20,382 --> 01:28:21,861 COME ON, DARREN. 1663 01:28:24,255 --> 01:28:25,735 [GROANS] 1664 01:28:29,521 --> 01:28:31,306 YOUR FRIENDS ARE WORRIED ABOUT YOU. 1665 01:28:31,349 --> 01:28:34,483 THEY THINK YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED. SO DOES DARREN. 1666 01:28:34,526 --> 01:28:37,747 MOM... IT'S OVER. 1667 01:28:38,965 --> 01:28:40,750 WHO THE HELL ARE WE KIDDING? 1668 01:28:43,535 --> 01:28:44,928 HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT THE BEST PART 1669 01:28:44,971 --> 01:28:46,886 ISN'T JUST A LITTLE BIT DOWN THE ROAD? 1670 01:28:46,930 --> 01:28:50,237 MOM, IT'S OVER. 1671 01:28:50,281 --> 01:28:52,849 I GET IT. 1672 01:28:52,892 --> 01:28:56,156 I HEAR THE UNIVERSE, 1673 01:28:56,200 --> 01:28:59,116 AND IT'S CLEARLY EXPANDING WITHOUT DARREN AND I. 1674 01:29:00,596 --> 01:29:04,295 -READ THE SIGNS. -I HAVE READ THE SIGNS, 1675 01:29:04,339 --> 01:29:06,166 AND I KNOW THAT DARREN LOVES YOU. 1676 01:29:06,210 --> 01:29:07,385 AND I LOVE DARREN. 1677 01:29:07,429 --> 01:29:10,170 AND IT'S A GODDAMN MESS. 1678 01:29:10,214 --> 01:29:13,348 I GET IT. OKAY? 1679 01:29:13,391 --> 01:29:15,567 BUT THAT'S WHAT LIFE IS. 1680 01:29:15,611 --> 01:29:17,961 A TRAIN WRECK? 1681 01:29:18,004 --> 01:29:20,355 THANK YOU. THAT'S REALLY, REALLY COMFORTING. 1682 01:29:20,398 --> 01:29:22,531 YOU KNOW, HE ALWAYS HAD TO BE PERFECT. 1683 01:29:22,574 --> 01:29:25,360 HE HIRED A STYLIST FOR HIS HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION PICTURE. 1684 01:29:25,403 --> 01:29:27,536 HE DESIGNED HIS OWN BOUTONNIERE FOR THE PROM. 1685 01:29:27,579 --> 01:29:29,842 REALLY? CARNATIONS OR ORCHIDS? 1686 01:29:29,886 --> 01:29:33,977 COLORED FEATHERS WITH ROSE PETALS. 1687 01:29:34,020 --> 01:29:36,371 IT WAS GORGEOUS. 1688 01:29:36,414 --> 01:29:38,764 AND EVERY NIGHT BEFORE SCHOOL, HE WOULD LAY OUT HIS CLOTHES, 1689 01:29:38,808 --> 01:29:40,287 AND IF THEY DIDN'T MATCH, 1690 01:29:40,331 --> 01:29:41,637 HE WOULD PLAY SICK IN THE MORNING 1691 01:29:41,680 --> 01:29:43,160 AND NOT GO TO SCHOOL. 1692 01:29:43,203 --> 01:29:46,381 WAIT, YOU-- YOU KNEW ABOUT THAT? 1693 01:29:46,424 --> 01:29:48,731 YES, OF COURSE I DID. 1694 01:29:48,774 --> 01:29:51,560 I ALLOWED IT. 1695 01:29:51,603 --> 01:29:54,345 BUT LIFE DOESN'T ALWAYS MATCH. 1696 01:29:54,389 --> 01:29:56,173 IT CLASHES, 1697 01:29:56,216 --> 01:29:58,784 AND SOMETIMES YOU JUST-- YOU HAVE TO TRUST. 1698 01:29:58,828 --> 01:30:01,570 TRUST IN WHAT? 1699 01:30:01,613 --> 01:30:05,443 IN MY FIANCEÉ AND HIS NEWLY EX-WIFE, 1700 01:30:05,487 --> 01:30:09,404 OR MY CHERNOBYL-THEMED WEDDING THAT I CAN'T EVEN HAVE ANYMORE? 1701 01:30:09,447 --> 01:30:13,625 YES. YES! IN ALL OF ITS GLORIOUS UGLINESS, YES. 1702 01:30:15,584 --> 01:30:19,022 I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO IT. 1703 01:30:19,065 --> 01:30:20,589 I DON'T KNOW IF I'M ALLOWED BACK IN THE STATES 1704 01:30:20,632 --> 01:30:22,417 FOR MONTHS, EVEN YEARS. 1705 01:30:22,460 --> 01:30:25,420 WELL, THERE MAY BE A WAY. 1706 01:30:27,073 --> 01:30:28,640 YOU JUST HAVE TO MEET HIM IN THE MIDDLE. 1707 01:30:31,077 --> 01:30:33,863 JUST THIS ONCE, WILL YOU PLEASE TRUST IN THE CHAOS? 1708 01:30:35,865 --> 01:30:38,824 COME ON. HERE. 1709 01:30:38,868 --> 01:30:40,783 YOU'RE GOING TO SCHOOL IN THE MORNING. 1710 01:30:49,487 --> 01:30:51,837 [MAN ON P.A.] FOLKS, THERE'S NO LOITERING ON THE BRIDGE. 1711 01:30:51,881 --> 01:30:53,404 PLEASE KEEP MOVING. THANK YOU. 1712 01:31:03,545 --> 01:31:08,071 WHAT DO YOU SEE? HOW MUCH TIME DO I GOT? 1713 01:31:09,159 --> 01:31:10,334 NO GUARDS. 1714 01:31:10,377 --> 01:31:11,596 REALLY? REALLY? ARE YOU SURE? 1715 01:31:11,640 --> 01:31:14,469 -ALL CLEAR. -ROGER. 1716 01:31:36,447 --> 01:31:39,668 [MAN ON P.A.] PEDESTRIANS, KEEP MOVING. 1717 01:31:39,711 --> 01:31:41,757 PLEASE CLEAR THE SIDEWALK. 1718 01:31:41,800 --> 01:31:43,802 [SHIBBAWITZ] WHERE ARE MY EYES? 1719 01:31:43,846 --> 01:31:45,500 I RAN OUT OF QUARTERS. 1720 01:31:45,543 --> 01:31:47,327 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU'RE OUT OF QUARTERS? 1721 01:31:47,371 --> 01:31:49,112 [MAN ON P.A.] LOITERING ON THE BRIDGE 1722 01:31:49,155 --> 01:31:51,723 IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. PLEASE KEEP MOVING. 1723 01:32:00,993 --> 01:32:04,344 HOW ABOUT IT? AM I OKAY? CAN I CONTINUE? 1724 01:32:04,388 --> 01:32:06,564 -YOU'RE ALL CLEAR. -ALL CLEAR. 1725 01:32:06,608 --> 01:32:09,132 -[SHIBBAWITZ] TIN, IS THAT YOU? -YES, I'M BACK. 1726 01:32:09,175 --> 01:32:12,004 YOU'RE BACK! OH, THANK GOD. 1727 01:32:14,877 --> 01:32:18,054 [MAN ON P.A.] ALL PEDESTRIANS MUST KEEP WALKING ON THE BRIDGE. 1728 01:32:18,097 --> 01:32:21,361 THERE'LL BE NO STOPPING, NO CONGREGATING ON THE BRIDGE. 1729 01:32:37,769 --> 01:32:42,948 I HOPE IT'S OKAY. SHE AGREED TO BE MY BEST MAN. 1730 01:32:42,992 --> 01:32:46,691 YOU WERE RIGHT. I NEEDED TO HAVE A FRIEND HERE. 1731 01:32:49,128 --> 01:32:51,304 WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY 1732 01:32:51,348 --> 01:32:55,439 FOR THE JOINING OF TWO WONDERFUL SOULS-- 1733 01:32:55,482 --> 01:32:57,876 DEAN AND DARREN. 1734 01:32:57,920 --> 01:32:59,748 [MAN ON P.A.] PEDESTRIANS, KEEP MOVING ALONG THE WALK. 1735 01:32:59,791 --> 01:33:01,358 MAGGIE, DO YOU HAVE THE RINGS READY? 1736 01:33:01,401 --> 01:33:03,229 -YES. -OKAY, THAT'S GOOD. 1737 01:33:03,273 --> 01:33:04,927 I THINK I'M GETTING A LITTLE AHEAD OF MYSELF. 1738 01:33:04,970 --> 01:33:06,972 -ALL RIGHT, JUST-- -GUARDS COMING FROM RIGHT. 1739 01:33:07,016 --> 01:33:10,410 -GUARDS COMING FROM RIGHT. -IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY. 1740 01:33:10,454 --> 01:33:12,587 YOU KNOW, NIAGARA FALLS, A LOT OF PEOPLE 1741 01:33:12,630 --> 01:33:13,979 DON'T KNOW THIS ABOUT NIAGARA FALLS, 1742 01:33:14,023 --> 01:33:16,765 BUT THERE'S OVER 3,000 TONS OF WATER 1743 01:33:16,808 --> 01:33:19,115 THAT SPILL OVER THAT EVERY SECOND. IT'S TRUE. 1744 01:33:19,158 --> 01:33:22,118 HE STOPPED. TURNED AROUND. HE TURNED AROUND. 1745 01:33:22,161 --> 01:33:24,773 OKAY, LOOK, WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO 1746 01:33:24,816 --> 01:33:27,036 PICK THIS UP A LOT FASTER, OKAY? 1747 01:33:27,079 --> 01:33:28,603 -HE'S COMING BACK. -COMING BACK. 1748 01:33:28,646 --> 01:33:32,563 YOU KNOW, NIAGARA FALLS IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE. 1749 01:33:32,607 --> 01:33:35,914 YEAH, WE'VE COME A LONG WAY FROM PHOENIX, ARIZONA. 1750 01:33:35,958 --> 01:33:39,439 AND IT IS TRULY THE CULMINATION 1751 01:33:39,483 --> 01:33:42,007 OF OUR JOURNEY AS CHRISTIAN MISSIONARIES 1752 01:33:42,051 --> 01:33:44,270 I JUST WANNA SAY THAT-- 1753 01:33:44,314 --> 01:33:47,012 HE'S TURNING AROUND. HE'S TURNING AROUND. 1754 01:33:47,056 --> 01:33:49,232 OKAY, WE GOTTA WORK FAST. WE GOTTA WORK FAST. 1755 01:33:49,275 --> 01:33:50,799 GOTTA WORK-- COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. 1756 01:33:50,842 --> 01:33:52,801 AHEM. OKAY, A FAST CEREMONY 1757 01:33:52,844 --> 01:33:55,238 DOESN'T MEAN A MEANINGLESS CEREMONY. 1758 01:33:55,281 --> 01:33:59,459 SO, I'VE BEEN DOING THIS THING A LONG TIME, RIGHT? 1759 01:33:59,503 --> 01:34:01,244 YOU KNOW, I'VE DONE A MILLION WEDDINGS AND-- 1760 01:34:01,287 --> 01:34:02,637 NOT ALL SAME-SEX WEDDINGS, 1761 01:34:02,680 --> 01:34:05,030 BUT ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 1762 01:34:05,074 --> 01:34:07,032 AND I'M TELLING YOU, 1763 01:34:07,076 --> 01:34:09,252 I FEEL LIKE I'VE KNOWN YOU MY WHOLE LIFE. 1764 01:34:09,295 --> 01:34:11,646 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY, BUT I JUST DO. 1765 01:34:11,689 --> 01:34:15,867 AND I SWEAR, YOU WERE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER 1766 01:34:15,911 --> 01:34:17,477 IF EVER THERE WERE TWO PEOPLE 1767 01:34:17,521 --> 01:34:20,263 THAT WERE ACTUALLY MEANT TO HAVE A WEDDING. 1768 01:34:20,306 --> 01:34:21,917 WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT? 1769 01:34:21,960 --> 01:34:25,050 ALL RIGHT, DEAN-- 1770 01:34:25,094 --> 01:34:27,662 DEAN, DO YOU TAKE DARREN 1771 01:34:27,705 --> 01:34:29,054 AS YOUR LAWFUL WEDDED-- 1772 01:34:29,098 --> 01:34:30,969 [STAMMERING] HELP ME. 1773 01:34:31,013 --> 01:34:33,058 -HUSBAND. I DO. -HUSBAND. 1774 01:34:33,102 --> 01:34:35,495 [SHIBBAWITZ] GOOD, GOOD. 1775 01:34:35,539 --> 01:34:38,977 AND, DARREN, DO YOU TAKE DEAN AS YOUR LAWFUL WEDDED-- 1776 01:34:39,021 --> 01:34:40,587 -JUST FILL IN THE BLANK. -HUSBAND. HUSBAND. 1777 01:34:40,631 --> 01:34:43,547 -HUSBAND, YES. -YES. YES, I DO. 1778 01:34:43,590 --> 01:34:47,333 [SOBS] 1779 01:34:47,377 --> 01:34:49,074 ...POWER INVESTED IN ME-- 1780 01:34:49,118 --> 01:34:50,859 [MAN ON P.A.] PLEASE DON'T CONGREGATE ON THE SIDEWALK. 1781 01:34:50,902 --> 01:34:53,644 BY POWER INVESTED IN ME BY THE GREAT STATE OF NEW YORK-- 1782 01:34:53,688 --> 01:34:55,864 -[ALEX] COMING BACK! -I HEREBY PRONOUNCE YOU 1783 01:34:55,907 --> 01:34:58,562 -MAN AND-- -THEY GOT SHIBBAWITZ. 1784 01:34:58,605 --> 01:35:02,871 [MAN ON P.A.] THERE'LL BE NO CONGREGATING ON THE BRIDGE. 1785 01:35:02,914 --> 01:35:03,872 THEY GOT SHIBBAWITZ? 1786 01:35:03,915 --> 01:35:06,788 MAN AND WOMAN-- MAN AND-- 1787 01:35:06,831 --> 01:35:08,050 A MARRIED COUPLE! 1788 01:35:08,093 --> 01:35:11,227 TAKE ME! I'M YOUR MAN! 1789 01:35:11,270 --> 01:35:14,099 THE PAPERS! HIS PAPERS! 1790 01:35:14,143 --> 01:35:16,580 PAPERS! THE PAPERS! 1791 01:35:16,623 --> 01:35:17,755 [SOBBING] 1792 01:35:17,799 --> 01:35:19,757 NO! 1793 01:35:21,324 --> 01:35:23,543 MAGGIE, THE RINGS! GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME! 1794 01:35:23,587 --> 01:35:26,024 I'M A JUDGE! I'M A MINISTER! I'M A SENSEI! 1795 01:35:26,068 --> 01:35:28,244 [MAN ON P.A.] ALL PEDESTRIANS ARE ASKED TO KEEP MOVING ON THE BRIDGE. 1796 01:35:28,287 --> 01:35:30,159 KISS THE BRIDE! 1797 01:35:32,944 --> 01:35:35,381 -[GASPS] -JUST KIDDING. 1798 01:35:38,950 --> 01:35:40,996 [MAN ON P.A.] THERE'S NO LOITERING ON THE BRIDGE. 1799 01:35:41,039 --> 01:35:43,607 -THEY DID IT. THEY DID IT. -THEY'RE MARRIED? 1800 01:35:47,089 --> 01:35:50,353 [MAN ON P.A.] PEDESTRIANS MUST KEEP MOVING. PLEASE CLEAR THE WALKWAY. 1801 01:35:50,396 --> 01:35:54,879 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1802 01:36:05,803 --> 01:36:08,197 THEY NEVER FORGET US, DO THEY, TIN? 1803 01:36:09,633 --> 01:36:12,157 LOOK HOW BIG DUKE IS GETTING. 1804 01:36:12,201 --> 01:36:13,768 HE LOOKS JUST LIKE HIS DAD. 1805 01:36:13,811 --> 01:36:15,204 YES, HE DOES. 1806 01:36:17,641 --> 01:36:19,948 HEY, IT'S GONNA BE A GOOD YEAR THIS YEAR. 1807 01:36:19,991 --> 01:36:20,992 YES. 1808 01:36:22,994 --> 01:36:26,171 [MUSIC PLAYING] 125472

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