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00:00:12,333 --> 00:00:17,121
Sex Mad
a.k.a How Funny Can Sex Be?
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00:00:18,792 --> 00:00:23,995
Subtitled By SL Handy
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- Domenico, have you brought tea of coffee?
- Coffee, Madam.
4
00:01:25,333 --> 00:01:28,865
- But I asked for tea.
- No, you asked for coffee.
5
00:01:29,417 --> 00:01:33,660
- I said tea! Understand?
- Very good, Madam.
6
00:01:40,542 --> 00:01:44,702
- Domenico! The bath towel, please.
7
00:01:52,792 --> 00:01:57,035
- Just leave it!
- It's trapped, Madame.
8
00:02:08,833 --> 00:02:11,322
Give me a light massage.
9
00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:23,947
Good, that's enough, Domenico.
10
00:02:33,750 --> 00:02:36,500
Madame, the coffee is getting cold.
11
00:02:42,125 --> 00:02:44,910
- May I serve, Madame?.
- Yes.
12
00:02:49,708 --> 00:02:52,908
Made in true Brazilian style
13
00:02:53,417 --> 00:02:57,707
- Domenico! What are thinking of?
- Of my mother, Madame.
14
00:02:58,500 --> 00:03:02,707
- Think of her elsewhere.
- Excuse me. I think of her always.
15
00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:07,245
I- am sorry.
An unforgivable lapse.
16
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,698
- When did you say you were leaving, dearest?
- At 20:00.
17
00:03:18,250 --> 00:03:21,580
Let's hope there isn't a storm
like last night.
18
00:03:22,083 --> 00:03:25,947
- There was a storm?
- Yes. Don't tell me you didn't you hear it.
19
00:03:26,542 --> 00:03:31,781
- I didn't hear it.
- But, it would have woken a corpse.
20
00:03:33,250 --> 00:03:38,157
It must be my medicine,
I can't even rise in the morning.
21
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,157
Champagne, Sir?
22
00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:45,494
Watch you don't make another mess.
Don't think of your mother!
23
00:04:14,667 --> 00:04:15,698
Did you call?
24
00:04:16,250 --> 00:04:23,207
Yes. Wake me at 05:00 precisely, I must
accompany my husband to the airport.
25
00:04:24,208 --> 00:04:26,495
Very good, Madam.
26
00:04:56,458 --> 00:04:59,705
Madam, it's 05:00.
27
00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:04,166
Madam, it's 05:00.
28
00:05:06,125 --> 00:05:09,906
Madam, it is 05:00.
29
00:05:23,625 --> 00:05:28,413
Madam... Madam Juliette...
30
00:05:30,083 --> 00:05:33,247
Madam, it's five o'clock!
31
00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:38,037
He said he called me at five
But I slept until six.
32
00:05:38,583 --> 00:05:43,122
- He forgot to call me!
- But he's such a dedicated boy.
33
00:05:43,792 --> 00:05:48,035
He's indiscreet. I can feel his eyes on me.
34
00:05:48,667 --> 00:05:51,535
All servants fall in love with
their masters
35
00:05:51,958 --> 00:05:56,331
- What about the one we used to have?
- Oh, she was interested in me!
36
00:05:56,958 --> 00:06:00,656
She always stole my silk stockings.
37
00:06:01,208 --> 00:06:03,329
Au revoir, my sweet.
38
00:06:04,958 --> 00:06:07,577
Au revoir, dearest.
39
00:06:13,167 --> 00:06:17,623
Coca Cola; 21,000
General Motors: 26,400
40
00:06:18,250 --> 00:06:22,161
Hatu: 32,000
Kawasaki: 36,200
41
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:26,282
Montedison: 20
Ford: 48,000.
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00:06:26,792 --> 00:06:32,374
Alfasud: 3... Christ!
Franco: up 15, lira
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00:06:33,167 --> 00:06:36,948
- That's enough. Switch.
- Ok switching.
44
00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:43,659
Berna:
A 32 year old Italian worker...
45
00:06:48,083 --> 00:06:52,160
...stabbed his wife's lover...
Nice work!
46
00:06:52,792 --> 00:06:56,739
- That's enough, Domenico. Good night.
- Good night.
47
00:06:58,875 --> 00:07:01,032
- Go!
- Igo.
48
00:07:04,042 --> 00:07:08,451
- Domenico!
Don't forget to water the flowers.
49
00:07:10,167 --> 00:07:14,789
- Very good, Madam.
- Domenico! - Yes, Madam.
50
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,449
Wake me at 08:00 tomorrow.
Goodnight.
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00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:23,864
Eight o'clock on the dot.
Good night, Madam.
52
00:08:56,167 --> 00:08:58,834
Madam, it's 08:00.
53
00:09:03,458 --> 00:09:07,073
It's 08:00!
The tea is ready!
54
00:09:12,792 --> 00:09:16,454
Madam! Madam, it's 08:00!
55
00:09:23,125 --> 00:09:28,660
Excuse me... Excuse my...
impertinence, but it's 08:00.
56
00:09:34,125 --> 00:09:37,491
Be calm,
I won't dirty the sheets.
57
00:09:39,667 --> 00:09:42,417
Can you hear me, it's 8:00, Madam?
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00:09:46,333 --> 00:09:48,952
What a tit...!
It's 08:00, Madam.
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00:09:49,333 --> 00:09:54,370
Oh God, I want you!
Dirty whore! My mistress!
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00:09:56,375 --> 00:10:02,491
Show me...
Your pubis...
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00:10:03,917 --> 00:10:06,370
Don't look. Cuckold!
62
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:11,243
Excuse me, Madam, but it's 08:00.
63
00:10:11,667 --> 00:10:15,744
...Madam...
Must dare a little more...
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00:10:16,375 --> 00:10:21,531
Pardon, Madam, it's 08:00,
but don't wake, please.
65
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:35,621
I was very quick.
66
00:10:41,542 --> 00:10:44,493
Madam, it's 08:00.
67
00:10:51,333 --> 00:10:53,158
Madam...
68
00:10:57,750 --> 00:11:00,867
Good morning, Madam.
Did you sleep well?
69
00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:13,873
- What time is it, Domenico?
- A couple of minutes past 08:00 Madam.
70
00:11:37,667 --> 00:11:41,163
- Breakfast, Madam.
- Thank you, Domenico.
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00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:44,914
When you woke me,
I'd just gone to sleep
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00:11:45,417 --> 00:11:48,368
- I didn't close my eyes all night.
- I'm sorry, Madam.
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00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:52,993
- I'm going to take a nap. Wake me at 11:00.
- Very good.
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00:11:53,625 --> 00:11:58,200
- Domenico, where are you going? Breakfast!
- You're right!
75
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,999
But, Domenico!
Pay attention!
76
00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:08,791
What have you brought me?
I said tea!
77
00:12:09,583 --> 00:12:12,534
Domenico, what's come over you?
78
00:12:15,458 --> 00:12:18,457
Two Hearts and a Shack
79
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:32,957
For Sale
80
00:12:34,292 --> 00:12:37,871
Shit!
No one's going to buy it, now!
81
00:13:04,792 --> 00:13:08,869
- Daddy!
- Spying, are you? You know that's naughty!
82
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,833
- What did Mummy do today?
- Nothing.
83
00:13:14,250 --> 00:13:18,291
- And no one came while I was away?
- Who should come?
84
00:13:18,875 --> 00:13:23,035
- I ask the questions, you answer!
- No one.
85
00:13:23,917 --> 00:13:28,160
Ok, let's go.
Don't make a sound.
86
00:13:32,917 --> 00:13:34,742
Stay!
87
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,490
Get in.
88
00:13:42,792 --> 00:13:45,956
No need to call the carpenter, right!
89
00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:53,581
'War' with one 'R'
Ignorant!
90
00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:58,415
Preparing dinner at the last moment.
What do you do all day?
91
00:13:59,042 --> 00:14:01,578
And you smoke your pipe!
Go on, set the house a light!
92
00:14:01,958 --> 00:14:06,331
With all the manicures and canasta,
time passes so quickly
93
00:14:12,250 --> 00:14:15,865
- So you want to argue?
- Oh, of course!
94
00:14:16,417 --> 00:14:20,281
I saw that lipstick on your shirt,
but you think I'll keep quiet about it.
95
00:14:20,875 --> 00:14:23,079
- Which shirt?
- The red one.
96
00:14:23,417 --> 00:14:27,162
- The ladies haven't used lipstick in years.
- Oh, it was an old mark.
97
00:14:27,708 --> 00:14:32,911
It's the old trick! When you've something
to hide, you attack me!
98
00:14:34,083 --> 00:14:36,572
Because you don't want to pay your due.
99
00:14:36,958 --> 00:14:40,075
You wore the new dress?
Where've you been? Shame on you!
100
00:14:40,542 --> 00:14:45,449
To get medicine for Claudio.
He's got a cough.
101
00:14:46,167 --> 00:14:51,240
Oh, give up this crap, will you!
Why not send him?
102
00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:54,909
They won't give it to him for nothing!
103
00:14:55,375 --> 00:14:59,784
Right, you can play the "little pigeon"
with the pharmacist
104
00:15:00,458 --> 00:15:02,994
Go and kill yourself!
105
00:15:05,375 --> 00:15:09,535
Whose is this newspaper?
Out! Everybody out!
106
00:15:12,167 --> 00:15:14,537
Go! Quick!
107
00:15:14,917 --> 00:15:19,373
- Confess! Whose is it?
- What do I know? Yours?
108
00:15:20,042 --> 00:15:24,498
Of course, I need it for the stock
quotations! Who left it?
109
00:15:25,167 --> 00:15:29,244
It must have been Agnelli. He stopped by
to see if we had a spare bed to rent.
110
00:15:29,833 --> 00:15:33,531
Oh, you're playing the fool! If it wasn't
Agnell, it was someone else!
111
00:15:34,083 --> 00:15:37,034
When I'm not here,
someone else comes!
112
00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:43,497
Remember, when I get proof
I'll kill you, you dirty slut!
113
00:15:44,375 --> 00:15:48,535
You're the slut, going to Parioli,
playing the gigolo with all the women!
114
00:15:49,167 --> 00:15:54,287
- You shit! - You're the shit,
you grandmother's little whore!
115
00:15:55,042 --> 00:15:59,830
- I'll kill you!
- I'll kill you, you son of a slut!
116
00:16:00,542 --> 00:16:03,872
No! Give me the bottle!
117
00:16:04,375 --> 00:16:07,954
I know you've hidden a photo
in your shoe!
118
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:11,167
Because there's a hole in the bottom!
119
00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:18,951
What a beauty you gave me.
My head's still ringing.
120
00:16:19,583 --> 00:16:22,617
Are you still shitting, my love?
121
00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:27,492
- Will the wine stain go away? I'm
all dirty. - One..two..three..four..
122
00:16:28,125 --> 00:16:31,372
But I'm content!
A real man has to take charge!
123
00:16:31,833 --> 00:16:35,495
- If you want me to take charge,
invite me to the martial bed!
124
00:16:36,042 --> 00:16:38,709
- Let's go to bed!
- I'm coming!
125
00:16:39,375 --> 00:16:43,950
- If the weather's nice on Sunday...
- eight..nine..ten..eleven...
126
00:16:44,625 --> 00:16:49,994
- ...but these socks are filthy...
- thirteen..fourteen.
127
00:16:50,792 --> 00:16:53,956
I've got a nice surprise for you tonight.
128
00:16:54,458 --> 00:16:58,535
I know your surprise. Quietly,
so they don't hear us.
129
00:17:06,625 --> 00:17:10,572
Come here, my beauty.
Tell me who you are.
130
00:17:11,167 --> 00:17:15,031
I'm all yours!
But let's be quiet!
131
00:17:15,625 --> 00:17:18,292
- Tell me something...
- No, they can hear!
132
00:17:18,708 --> 00:17:22,655
- Pretend to talk about something else.
- What shall I make you for lunch tomorrow?
133
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:26,616
- Two aubergines!
- Two bits of cod!
134
00:17:27,125 --> 00:17:30,372
- I won't digest that.
- And if I cook you two chickpeas?
135
00:17:30,875 --> 00:17:34,122
No, they make me fart.
136
00:17:34,625 --> 00:17:38,536
- Peppers are less heavy...
- Then, two broccolis my love...
137
00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:42,621
- Broccoli is better.
- Cooked in the pan.
138
00:17:43,167 --> 00:17:45,573
Yes, with garlic.
139
00:17:45,958 --> 00:17:49,241
With garlic and chilli pepper.
140
00:17:49,750 --> 00:17:54,621
- And a touch of sage.
- Sage... yes, sage...
141
00:18:00,917 --> 00:18:04,662
Did you say something, my love?
142
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:16,952
It's never too late.
143
00:18:34,542 --> 00:18:38,536
- Don't disturb me for a few minutes.
- Yes, sir.
144
00:18:50,708 --> 00:18:53,991
Are you there, my dove...?
Good morning, my love, it's me.
145
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:58,079
This joke is becoming vulgar and absurd!
146
00:18:58,625 --> 00:19:00,912
How beautiful you are when you're angry.
147
00:19:01,292 --> 00:19:05,867
I could get angry for real
and call the police!
148
00:19:06,542 --> 00:19:12,326
You won't do it. No woman is
insensitive to a sincere love.
149
00:19:13,167 --> 00:19:17,742
I am a man in love who wants
to crush you in his arms.
150
00:19:22,125 --> 00:19:26,581
He must be a madman!
Oran old pervert!
151
00:19:40,125 --> 00:19:43,206
Enrico... I can't sleep.
152
00:19:44,292 --> 00:19:48,618
- Read something.
- Enrico...
153
00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:54,239
It's the latest edition, dear.
154
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:12,786
- Where are you going?
- I'm thirsty, I'll be back soon.
155
00:20:14,333 --> 00:20:18,493
Enrico... drink quickly
156
00:20:30,292 --> 00:20:32,117
Six, four...
157
00:20:40,250 --> 00:20:43,166
My love, I wanted only to
wish you good night.
158
00:20:43,583 --> 00:20:47,328
Don't be irritated, don't say
ugly things, my dove.
159
00:20:47,875 --> 00:20:52,699
I'm so in love, I cannot sleep
without saying I love you.
160
00:20:53,583 --> 00:20:56,119
I love you... I love you...
161
00:21:10,875 --> 00:21:13,956
Hello, my dove,
my little dove...
162
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:25,283
Always open these windows,
eh, Valeria?
163
00:21:43,542 --> 00:21:46,825
What does this madman want from me?
164
00:21:48,417 --> 00:21:50,787
What does he want?
165
00:21:51,667 --> 00:21:56,123
He keeps a photo of Golda Meir
in his wallet.
166
00:21:57,750 --> 00:22:01,614
For him, women become
desirable when they're 70.
167
00:22:03,625 --> 00:22:07,536
What do I know, Gerontophilia, Chronophilia,
granny grabber.
168
00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:18,873
- Have you been waiting long, Carlo?
- Yes, but I'm not Carlo!
169
00:22:43,750 --> 00:22:46,120
Let me in, my dove!
170
00:22:46,458 --> 00:22:50,701
- I'm a poor old woman!
- You are glorious!
171
00:22:51,333 --> 00:22:54,995
Do not fear, I will not covet you,
I'm taken with you, crazily!
172
00:22:55,542 --> 00:22:58,955
What do you want with me?
I could be your grandmother!
173
00:22:59,458 --> 00:23:02,907
A kiss. I've been thinking about
your burning lips for days.
174
00:23:03,458 --> 00:23:07,073
But we're not even related!
175
00:23:07,625 --> 00:23:11,998
Because I desire you! Don't hide,
you must be mine, only mine!
176
00:23:12,625 --> 00:23:16,868
It'll be wonderful, you'll see! Don't look
at me with those gazelle's eye!
177
00:23:17,500 --> 00:23:20,783
Poor dove
my little dove!
178
00:23:21,292 --> 00:23:24,741
Look, I brought you
some marron glace.
179
00:23:30,917 --> 00:23:36,784
- How did you know I like them?
- I know everything about you, Esperia!
180
00:23:40,292 --> 00:23:46,159
I made this liquor myself.
Grape, strawberry and cherry.
181
00:23:48,292 --> 00:23:51,824
It's non-alcoholic,
my mother taught me.
182
00:23:53,583 --> 00:23:59,497
Promise you'll be good and not touch me,
even with a finger?
183
00:24:00,333 --> 00:24:02,158
I promise.
184
00:24:02,875 --> 00:24:04,700
To our love.
185
00:24:07,083 --> 00:24:10,330
Oh, what devil's eyes
you have!
186
00:24:14,292 --> 00:24:16,331
My little dove...
187
00:24:28,667 --> 00:24:33,040
My dove, tell me the truth...
when was the last time?
188
00:24:33,667 --> 00:24:37,329
The only time!
During the war.
189
00:24:37,958 --> 00:24:45,614
- 19407
- No, 1915. He was an Austrian Captain.
190
00:24:47,417 --> 00:24:50,333
- Did you love him?
- Crazily!
191
00:24:50,958 --> 00:24:56,078
- He left me for the cannon shot!
- It's terrible...
192
00:24:58,167 --> 00:25:02,825
- Do you still love him?
- No, now I love you, Enrico.
193
00:25:05,333 --> 00:25:10,204
Oh, Enrico...
Oh, Enrico... Oh, Enrico...
194
00:25:19,500 --> 00:25:22,664
Did you understand,
Valeria?
195
00:25:26,708 --> 00:25:30,749
- Enrico!
- Esperial What are you doing here?
196
00:25:31,542 --> 00:25:36,200
- What are YOU doing here?
- I came by to see you.
197
00:25:36,875 --> 00:25:40,739
I'm always out in the morning
as you well know!
198
00:25:41,333 --> 00:25:45,825
- I was in the area, and I thought...
- " thought"!
199
00:25:46,500 --> 00:25:50,743
Tell the truth. You came
because Valeria was alone.
200
00:25:51,375 --> 00:25:53,994
No, she's almost a baby.
201
00:25:54,417 --> 00:25:58,458
Ok. But from tomorrow,
Valeria does the shopping with me!
202
00:25:59,417 --> 00:26:04,916
- Corinne! - Esperia, how are you?
- You look so well! - You too!
203
00:26:11,708 --> 00:26:16,081
My dear, one minute, I forgot my money.
Wait for me.
204
00:26:49,542 --> 00:26:51,581
- My little dove...
205
00:26:52,708 --> 00:26:54,782
- Mother!
206
00:26:58,875 --> 00:27:02,075
The Honeymoon.
207
00:27:04,583 --> 00:27:06,408
Hold it!
208
00:27:06,875 --> 00:27:09,411
Another! Hold it!
209
00:27:10,708 --> 00:27:12,533
Another!
210
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,667
Okay, that's it!
211
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:24,247
- May I kiss the bride?
- Thank you, Father!
212
00:27:24,833 --> 00:27:27,452
Long live the happy couple!
213
00:27:34,958 --> 00:27:37,198
This is my wife!
214
00:27:37,542 --> 00:27:42,200
- Grazia, where are you?...
You gave me a shock. - Here I am!
215
00:27:52,292 --> 00:27:56,120
- We'll see you at the dinner. - Yes, mother
- Give us a push. It won't go
216
00:27:58,458 --> 00:28:02,073
- Go on!- Put it in third!
- Go on, push!
217
00:28:22,250 --> 00:28:27,868
A toast to Grazia and Lello!
218
00:28:28,708 --> 00:28:33,947
The Happy Couple! Kiss!
219
00:28:36,500 --> 00:28:39,913
- Giovanna, dance with me!
220
00:28:40,917 --> 00:28:45,539
- Catch! Here!
- Me too!
221
00:28:57,750 --> 00:29:00,784
Put this under your pillow
and in a year you'll be married too.
222
00:29:01,250 --> 00:29:04,284
- To who? You caught the best one!
- Thank you!
223
00:29:05,542 --> 00:29:08,742
Why don't you come with us
on the honeymoon?
224
00:29:09,250 --> 00:29:13,031
Just married and you've
already started. Pig!
225
00:29:13,583 --> 00:29:17,909
Just my homage to beauty!
And you've so many beautiful parts!
226
00:29:18,542 --> 00:29:22,998
If they interest you so much,
you could have thought first, you demon!
227
00:29:25,833 --> 00:29:29,282
Don't wear yourself out.
You'll have no energy for tonight!
228
00:29:31,375 --> 00:29:35,665
Poor Grazia, with that husband,
just think of the horns she'll be wearing
229
00:29:44,500 --> 00:29:48,743
The priest is dancing with that old woman!
Dance, slut, on your way to hell!
230
00:29:49,750 --> 00:29:54,325
Grazia, the train's leaving in an hour.
Go and change!
231
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:59,954
Here's my beautiful bride!
I'm going to undress the bride!
232
00:30:00,667 --> 00:30:04,199
- The bride will undress herself!
- As if I hadn't said it, dear!
233
00:30:10,833 --> 00:30:14,578
- I like you more than your daughter...
- Liar!
234
00:30:19,417 --> 00:30:24,158
Remember, the Hotel Adriatic. Your mother
and I went there for our honeymoon.
235
00:30:24,833 --> 00:30:27,867
I getit. I understand.
I'm not an imbecile!
236
00:30:29,208 --> 00:30:32,870
- Come on, Grazia ! - I'm coming!
- Room 35, remember!
237
00:30:33,417 --> 00:30:36,416
It was room 28 not 35.
238
00:30:36,875 --> 00:30:39,494
Remember everything
your mother taught you!
239
00:30:39,875 --> 00:30:44,118
- Man is a dirty beast!
Even your father was a beast!
240
00:30:47,792 --> 00:30:51,786
- Don't harm my child,
you filthy dirty black animal!
241
00:30:52,375 --> 00:30:55,954
- Don't worry, I'll go slowly!
- Bye! - Write to us!
242
00:30:56,500 --> 00:30:59,368
- Room 35!
- 28!
243
00:30:59,958 --> 00:31:03,288
You can't refuse me,
I'm your husband!
244
00:31:03,792 --> 00:31:08,118
It makes the blood rush to my head.
Not on the train, are you mad?
245
00:31:08,750 --> 00:31:11,452
Where does it say "No screwing"?
246
00:31:13,167 --> 00:31:14,992
Let's go here, it's empty.
247
00:31:24,083 --> 00:31:26,750
We got married a few hours ago.
248
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,662
We should tell them
the tunnel is finished.
249
00:31:56,750 --> 00:32:00,329
You're so handsome
I'm never tired of looking at you!
250
00:32:00,875 --> 00:32:04,656
Why look at me?
Look at Venice!
251
00:32:05,208 --> 00:32:08,408
I don't care about Venice,
I'm looking at you!
252
00:32:08,917 --> 00:32:13,326
Look at me in that way,
and you awake "the beast"
253
00:32:13,958 --> 00:32:18,331
- Don't be so unromantic.
- Who cares!
254
00:32:22,125 --> 00:32:24,744
We'll be at the hotel soon! Stay calm!
255
00:32:39,375 --> 00:32:43,203
All good!
Be patient, no?
256
00:32:45,500 --> 00:32:49,707
- Grazia, what are you doing? Come on!
- I'm coming.
257
00:33:02,708 --> 00:33:05,375
- Do you like it!
- You're a bomb!
258
00:33:05,792 --> 00:33:10,331
It took six months to embroider.
Do you sleep without pyjamas?
259
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:15,575
I sleep how I was born.
Come near me!
260
00:33:16,250 --> 00:33:20,291
Will you think badly of me, if I tell you
how much I've dreamed of this?
261
00:33:20,875 --> 00:33:25,580
Why? When you're in love,
physical love is natural
262
00:33:26,250 --> 00:33:29,533
Tonight I feel so abandoned!
263
00:33:30,042 --> 00:33:33,704
I want you naked!
Get rid of the nightdress! And the necklace!
264
00:33:34,250 --> 00:33:37,948
- I'm ashamed!
- Ok, keep the necklace, but hurry!
265
00:33:39,250 --> 00:33:42,166
- Put out the light, then.
266
00:33:47,167 --> 00:33:51,031
How beautiful you are!
You're like Bottticini's Venus!
267
00:33:51,625 --> 00:33:55,785
Hurry, quickly, I can't hold it!
268
00:33:56,750 --> 00:33:58,954
Hurry, come here!
269
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:03,994
Are you keeping your knickers on?
Your mother didn't tell you to take them off?
270
00:34:04,583 --> 00:34:07,617
- I'll take them off!
- Don't hurt me, Lello!
271
00:34:08,083 --> 00:34:11,781
Hurt you?
I want to do it four times tonight!
272
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:19,582
Say your prayers!
I want to do it four, no five times tonight!
273
00:34:21,542 --> 00:34:23,829
Go on, Lello! Go on!
274
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:36,662
Lello? Lello? Lello?
275
00:34:38,583 --> 00:34:42,530
Lello, what is it? What's the matter?
276
00:34:49,583 --> 00:34:54,822
No... Grazia, tonight no...
I don't feel too well.
277
00:34:58,250 --> 00:35:02,078
- But... just like that?
- Yes, just like that.
278
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:07,117
It'll be the crabs,
you ate four of them!
279
00:35:07,583 --> 00:35:11,873
Yes, it'll be those four
bloody crabs from this evening.
280
00:35:14,583 --> 00:35:19,288
What are you doing?
Turn off the bloody light!
281
00:35:21,250 --> 00:35:28,077
- Do you want to sleep?
- Yes... maybe I should have a nap.
282
00:35:30,167 --> 00:35:34,825
It's nothing, It'll pass, you'll see.
Don't worry, Grazia.
283
00:36:24,208 --> 00:36:26,827
Today I feel really good!
284
00:36:27,250 --> 00:36:32,323
- You scared me yesterday.
- Who knows what you must've thought.
285
00:36:33,083 --> 00:36:36,864
You must have thought: "what
kind of man did I marry?"
286
00:36:37,417 --> 00:36:41,660
In fact it was nothing. A little sleep
and it all passed.
287
00:36:42,292 --> 00:36:47,163
- Are you sure?
- Feel this, woman of little faith!
288
00:36:48,250 --> 00:36:52,374
- Gondolier, to the Hotel Adriatic!
- Ok. - Full speed!
289
00:36:54,250 --> 00:36:56,490
Quicker! Quicker!
290
00:37:01,917 --> 00:37:05,449
Bravo, Lello! Go, Lello!
291
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:30,286
I'm afraid there's nothing to be done,
I'm sorry.
292
00:37:31,042 --> 00:37:33,910
- Me too.
293
00:37:44,708 --> 00:37:48,204
- But what does it depend on?
294
00:37:48,917 --> 00:37:52,579
Ask him what it depends on!
295
00:37:55,750 --> 00:38:01,083
- Has it happened with other women?
- No... well, yes, sort of...
296
00:38:02,542 --> 00:38:06,323
Sometimes, yes...
Almost always.
297
00:38:09,417 --> 00:38:13,281
Hey, you must promise
that no one will ever know this!
298
00:38:13,875 --> 00:38:17,241
You're worried about other people?
What about me?
299
00:38:17,750 --> 00:38:22,325
Of course I'm thinking about you!
Come on, this thing will pass, it'll pass!
300
00:38:23,875 --> 00:38:26,364
Let's hope...
301
00:38:27,917 --> 00:38:32,290
- You said almost always? - Yes
- So then, sometimes...
302
00:38:33,167 --> 00:38:37,706
Once, in Rimini, with a German girl,
...we were in a boat.
303
00:38:39,042 --> 00:38:42,823
The sea was so wild,
that we almost fell in the water.
304
00:38:43,375 --> 00:38:47,499
That time I even managed
an encore, didn't I, my truncheon?
305
00:38:49,167 --> 00:38:52,699
Grazia, do you still love me?
306
00:38:56,625 --> 00:38:59,031
Of course I love you!
307
00:38:59,875 --> 00:39:04,165
You're my husband, my man...
308
00:39:12,917 --> 00:39:17,373
Grazia...
you said 'man' ironically.
309
00:39:19,458 --> 00:39:24,246
Gather round, ladies!
Tomorrow you'll want me and I'll be gone.
310
00:39:24,917 --> 00:39:28,496
I'll sell you some empty trousers,
you can fill them with your loveliness!
311
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:32,164
And if your behind makes it a tight fit,
the tighter the better!
312
00:39:32,625 --> 00:39:38,871
- Will this fit me? - With that
beautiful behind, one size bigger.
313
00:39:39,875 --> 00:39:43,656
- How did the honeymoon go?
- Not bad. We did our best.
314
00:39:44,208 --> 00:39:47,989
- And the bride? - She's recovering.
Prices have been slashed!
315
00:39:48,583 --> 00:39:52,826
- Lello, you're crazy!
- Thanks! Tomorrow, Lello will be gone!
316
00:39:56,958 --> 00:39:59,826
- Good day, would you like something?
- An ice cream cake.
317
00:40:00,292 --> 00:40:03,125
- Big or small?
- Small, it's just me and Lello.
318
00:40:03,542 --> 00:40:07,536
- Soon you'll be adding to your family.
- Of course, that's why I got married!
319
00:40:08,125 --> 00:40:12,415
- Hi, Giovanna. Hi, Marta.
- Hi, Grazia. Take a seat.
320
00:40:13,333 --> 00:40:16,118
Okay, while I wait for the cake.
321
00:40:17,458 --> 00:40:23,040
- You look well. Are you already pregnant?
- Could be. In fact, I think I must be.
322
00:40:24,250 --> 00:40:28,493
- I'd be terrified, if I was pregnant.
- Get married, then.
323
00:40:29,125 --> 00:40:33,617
- When are you and Vittorio deciding?
- I don't know. He's not like Lello.
324
00:40:34,292 --> 00:40:37,539
Lello always treated me with respect.
325
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:41,911
- Even before marriage?
- Certainly. Afterwards...
326
00:40:43,625 --> 00:40:46,458
What's it like spending the night with a man?
327
00:40:46,875 --> 00:40:51,450
- Is it true you wake in the middle
of night to... - Is it true?
328
00:40:52,458 --> 00:40:57,448
- Well, sometimes it happens.
It's late, I should go.
329
00:40:59,042 --> 00:41:02,574
- My pleasure, Madam.
- Thanks. Add it to our account.
330
00:41:19,208 --> 00:41:23,036
Lello! Lello! Lello!
331
00:41:23,792 --> 00:41:27,371
- What do you want?
- You remember that German girl?
332
00:41:27,917 --> 00:41:30,584
The one you made love to in the boat,
333
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:34,947
- I thought we weren't going to talk about
it? - We've got to, it's important!
334
00:41:37,083 --> 00:41:41,990
- Ok, let's talk.
- With who else did you make love?
335
00:41:42,708 --> 00:41:46,536
- Digging up the past, eh?
- Tell me, it's important!
336
00:41:47,125 --> 00:41:50,906
- With my cousin's wife.
- You dirty beast! Where did you do it?
337
00:41:51,458 --> 00:41:54,457
I don't remember...
Ah, yes, in a truck.
338
00:41:54,917 --> 00:41:58,200
The husband was driving, while
we were getting up to stuff in the back.
339
00:41:58,708 --> 00:42:01,280
Lello, I've got it! I understand!
340
00:42:01,667 --> 00:42:06,040
On our honeymoon, on the train
and the boat, you were really excited.
341
00:42:06,667 --> 00:42:12,948
- But in bed, nothing. - So what?
- So what? Nothing happened in the bed!
342
00:42:13,833 --> 00:42:17,993
The next day, you're turned on in the gondola,
but back to the hotel, nothing again.
343
00:42:18,625 --> 00:42:22,702
You've only ever managed to make love
on a boat and in a truck.
344
00:42:23,292 --> 00:42:27,914
- What does this make you think?
- Twice in thirty years is too little!
345
00:42:28,583 --> 00:42:33,490
- No! You can make love only in moving
vehicles! - What's that got to do with it?
346
00:42:34,208 --> 00:42:38,617
The train and the van were
sexual stimulants! Aphrodisiacs!
347
00:42:39,250 --> 00:42:43,706
You mean we've got to make love
in a car or a plane?
348
00:42:44,375 --> 00:42:48,701
You're crazy! You read too much
science fiction!
349
00:42:49,333 --> 00:42:53,872
- Let me sleep!
- What are you doing?
350
00:42:54,542 --> 00:42:57,908
In pyjamas?
Shame on you, Grazia!
351
00:42:59,500 --> 00:43:04,454
- Let's make love in the lift!
- What if the porter sees us?
352
00:43:05,458 --> 00:43:09,405
- You're not normal!
- Kiss me! Kiss me!
353
00:43:11,292 --> 00:43:14,622
Hey maybe you're right?
Push the button!
354
00:43:15,833 --> 00:43:20,289
It works!
Push it again! Push it again!
355
00:43:21,167 --> 00:43:23,917
Wow! You were right!
356
00:43:24,667 --> 00:43:29,408
Push the button!
It's working!
357
00:43:30,917 --> 00:43:34,828
The button!
I've pressed it! Number seven!
358
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:48,243
- What is it? - It must the boiler!
- No, it's the lawyer's burglar alarm!
359
00:43:48,875 --> 00:43:51,874
Look!
Someone's in the lift!
360
00:43:52,333 --> 00:43:55,782
They've killed someone!
Wake up the general!
361
00:43:56,333 --> 00:43:58,158
Call the police!
362
00:44:00,667 --> 00:44:03,784
Come Back My Darling
363
00:44:15,667 --> 00:44:18,417
Hey, Blondie, you want me?
364
00:44:18,833 --> 00:44:22,910
No, that red girl, please
... with the red hair.
365
00:44:24,458 --> 00:44:26,283
Tamara!
366
00:44:31,958 --> 00:44:36,118
- 5 in the car, 10 at home.
- Miss, would you come back with me?
367
00:44:36,750 --> 00:44:40,827
- Ok that's 10.
- You'll get 20, if you do what I want.
368
00:44:59,208 --> 00:45:04,541
- Oh my God! Who's that?
- No, nothing, it's my wife.
369
00:45:05,333 --> 00:45:09,540
- You want a threesome?
- No, it's a life-size doll.
370
00:45:10,167 --> 00:45:12,834
I bought her when Rosetta left me.
371
00:45:13,250 --> 00:45:17,457
I gave her the same features
And dressed her in her underwear...
372
00:45:18,083 --> 00:45:21,283
At nights I speak with her
and I feel less lonely.
373
00:45:21,792 --> 00:45:24,459
I'll show you the rest of the appartment.
374
00:45:24,875 --> 00:45:26,831
Why did your wife leave you?
375
00:45:27,167 --> 00:45:31,327
She would never have left me.
But he forced her.
376
00:45:31,958 --> 00:45:35,205
He kept saying:
"It's me or him!".
377
00:45:35,708 --> 00:45:40,366
- She would have chosen me, but he
threatened her... - Oh, I'm really sorry!
378
00:45:41,042 --> 00:45:43,531
That's life, Miss.
379
00:45:49,917 --> 00:45:53,994
- Is this right?
You're not a sex maniac, are you?
380
00:45:54,625 --> 00:45:58,951
No! The psychiatrist said
I'm absolutely normal.
381
00:45:59,583 --> 00:46:02,866
- I'm already prepared
for my TV appearance.
382
00:46:03,375 --> 00:46:07,416
You need to take your hair up a bit.
She how you're becoming her?
383
00:46:09,125 --> 00:46:11,910
Like a servant... more or less.
384
00:46:17,208 --> 00:46:20,787
- What are you doing?
- Don't be afraid, Miss, it's ok.
385
00:46:24,333 --> 00:46:27,083
Ours was a marriage of love.
386
00:46:27,500 --> 00:46:31,364
I met her in Asti,
on a skating rink.
387
00:46:31,958 --> 00:46:36,995
Roller-skating's my hobby.
I can even do figures.
388
00:46:37,708 --> 00:46:40,624
I had got a good job with the council,
as an archivist
389
00:46:41,042 --> 00:46:44,621
She was always on at me because
I got paid so little.
390
00:46:45,167 --> 00:46:48,083
But I did it because I enjoyed it,
understand?
391
00:46:48,500 --> 00:46:51,250
Is the hair right like this?
392
00:46:52,875 --> 00:46:56,241
Yes, it's good.
Hers was really red, like yours.
393
00:47:00,375 --> 00:47:04,239
Only Rosetta was a little smaller,
more fat...
394
00:47:06,250 --> 00:47:08,656
It's a shame you're not fat...
395
00:47:11,625 --> 00:47:13,450
Wait...
396
00:47:18,083 --> 00:47:20,916
Let me see... let me see...
397
00:47:24,292 --> 00:47:29,827
Excuse me.. Yes, yes, you're similar.
398
00:47:31,750 --> 00:47:37,617
- Perhaps Rosetta was more pretty...
- Ok, what do I have to do?
399
00:47:38,833 --> 00:47:43,491
Ok, you arrive, ring the bell and
read out what I've written on the sheet.
400
00:47:44,167 --> 00:47:48,327
Ah, the sheet! Where did I put it?
Here it is.
401
00:47:50,167 --> 00:47:52,703
Her handbag.
402
00:47:58,125 --> 00:48:01,124
"Monte Carlo Carnival'
Her favourite perfume.
403
00:48:01,583 --> 00:48:05,364
- What a stink... - It's good!
- Giansiro. Rosetta loves you!
404
00:48:05,917 --> 00:48:09,745
- What's that?
- An Indian blackbird.
405
00:48:11,958 --> 00:48:16,699
- What do you say to your Giansiro?
- Rosetta loves you!
406
00:48:19,042 --> 00:48:21,709
I taught him that.
407
00:48:26,667 --> 00:48:31,242
- Rosetta loves you!
- She'll come back, you'll see.
408
00:48:32,167 --> 00:48:36,623
And the three of us will be
happy again, for ever.
409
00:48:37,292 --> 00:48:41,665
Did you hear? The doorbell.
410
00:48:42,333 --> 00:48:47,702
- Maybe it's her. You'll see. It's her!
- Rosetta loves you.
411
00:48:48,458 --> 00:48:50,911
It's her. I can feel it's her!
412
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:58,997
Our favourite record, Nilla Pizzi.
413
00:49:09,625 --> 00:49:12,493
- Who is it?
- It's me, Rosetta!
414
00:49:14,625 --> 00:49:19,330
- Rosetta! - Giansiro...
- You've come back?
415
00:49:20,583 --> 00:49:24,162
- Have you come back for good?
- Yes. Can you forgive me?
416
00:49:24,708 --> 00:49:28,406
- Oh, how I longed...
Oh, how I longed for you...
417
00:49:28,958 --> 00:49:32,454
Oh, how I longed for you,
for our house...
418
00:49:32,958 --> 00:49:36,703
...our intimacy, our
serene and modest life!
419
00:49:37,250 --> 00:49:39,573
I always waited for you...
420
00:49:39,958 --> 00:49:44,746
and I never forgot the cream cakes
which you loved so much.
421
00:49:49,417 --> 00:49:53,115
- They're not too tart, right?
- Actually, a little bit...
422
00:49:53,667 --> 00:49:57,708
No! You must say no! Rosetta
always said they were tart!
423
00:49:58,292 --> 00:50:00,994
Sometimes she'd throw them
in my face.
424
00:50:01,417 --> 00:50:06,573
- They're good, they taste oven fresh.
- I'm pleased.
425
00:50:07,792 --> 00:50:11,122
Do you recognise your room?
It's exactly how you left it.
426
00:50:11,625 --> 00:50:14,825
There is still the odour
of your presence.
427
00:50:15,292 --> 00:50:19,784
- I'm so tired, I want to go to bed
immediately - Of course, straight away.
428
00:50:20,458 --> 00:50:24,831
Can I come to bed with you,
or do have to I sleep on the sofa?
429
00:50:25,500 --> 00:50:29,411
No my love, it's a big bed,
big enough for two.
430
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:36,116
Thank you. I'll be good, I won't
even touch you with a finger.
431
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:40,745
But I want to be touched
and squeezed tightly!
432
00:50:41,292 --> 00:50:44,042
- That's why I came back!
- Really?
433
00:50:44,458 --> 00:50:48,322
Of course! I love you so much.
He doesn't matter any more!
434
00:50:48,917 --> 00:50:52,781
He's big and strong, but
he doesn't have your delicate touch.
435
00:50:53,333 --> 00:50:57,161
- But he's younger!
- You have the charm of a mature man.
436
00:50:57,750 --> 00:51:02,953
- Come, come...
- Say I'm the only man for you.
437
00:51:04,042 --> 00:51:08,119
- Tell me you love me!
- I love you, Giansiro!
438
00:51:26,708 --> 00:51:31,781
10... 20...
And here's another 1000 lire.
439
00:51:32,542 --> 00:51:35,114
- Thank you.
- It was wonderful, eh?
440
00:51:35,542 --> 00:51:39,323
- When I get paid, at the end
of the month, we'll do it again.
441
00:51:39,875 --> 00:51:43,537
- Are you always there?
- Every night. Bye.
442
00:51:50,917 --> 00:51:55,575
- Miss Tamara, can I ask you a favour?
- Of course.
443
00:51:56,917 --> 00:52:00,958
Will you telephone me tomorrow,
pretending to be Rosetta?
444
00:52:01,542 --> 00:52:03,415
What do I have to say?
445
00:52:04,792 --> 00:52:10,493
Just nice words, whatever you want.
45,9,2,3.
446
00:52:55,083 --> 00:52:58,200
Italian Workers Abroad
447
00:53:23,250 --> 00:53:26,699
By darling
Don't tire yourself out.
448
00:55:26,042 --> 00:55:29,740
ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION
DONORS
449
01:00:36,042 --> 01:00:38,495
Sister, is this where
they're looking for a donor?
450
01:00:45,917 --> 01:00:50,077
The Vendetta
451
01:01:31,375 --> 01:01:35,582
Eat some fried aubergine,
I made it with my own hands.
452
01:01:42,417 --> 01:01:48,912
Poor Michele!
They killed him!
453
01:01:49,833 --> 01:01:53,874
Everyone knows who killed him,
but they won't say.
454
01:01:55,083 --> 01:01:58,994
How tragic. Dying and leaving
behind such a beautiful wife.
455
01:01:59,583 --> 01:02:03,411
If you tread on Don Alvaro's feet,
you don't die of old age.
456
01:02:04,125 --> 01:02:08,285
- Here he is, Don Alvaro Macaluso.
457
01:02:14,125 --> 01:02:16,495
Madam Mimma, Don Alvaro is here.
458
01:02:34,125 --> 01:02:38,617
- At your service, Madam Mimma. - The house
is open to friends and enemies. Come in.
459
01:02:39,542 --> 01:02:43,951
Don Alvaro honours the departed and helps
those who are left. I enter as a friend.
460
01:02:44,625 --> 01:02:48,074
- Many thanks for the wreath.
- It was my duty.
461
01:02:48,583 --> 01:02:52,079
- Would you like a sip of marsala?
- Asip.
462
01:02:58,042 --> 01:03:01,041
- To the health of the deceased.
- To his health!
463
01:03:05,042 --> 01:03:07,792
Are you not drinking, Madam Mimma?
464
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:12,833
To the health of poor Michele.
465
01:03:19,542 --> 01:03:24,034
- How did this tragedy happen?
- I saw nothing, I know nothing.
466
01:03:25,417 --> 01:03:28,700
Do not even you know anything,
Don Alvaro?
467
01:03:29,208 --> 01:03:32,124
It was a great misfortune, I was told.
468
01:03:32,542 --> 01:03:35,114
In the car, on his way home...
469
01:03:35,500 --> 01:03:39,447
...a projectile hit him,
travelling in the opposite direction.
470
01:03:40,042 --> 01:03:43,491
I understand - a road accident.
471
01:03:47,917 --> 01:03:52,871
- May I pay my respects to the corpse?
- The corpse would be honoured.
472
01:03:55,458 --> 01:03:57,615
I kiss your hand, Don Alvaro.
473
01:03:57,958 --> 01:04:03,327
They killed him! Everyone
knows who did it, but they won't say!
474
01:04:05,833 --> 01:04:08,322
I kiss your hand, Don Alvaro.
475
01:04:10,375 --> 01:04:12,579
Let's go.
476
01:04:19,708 --> 01:04:24,579
Beautiful, young, handsome,
full of good health!
477
01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:28,572
He could have lived another 100 years!
478
01:04:34,542 --> 01:04:40,124
But what can we do?
You must be brave!
479
01:04:40,958 --> 01:04:44,537
Unfortunately death is the
most incurable illness!
480
01:04:45,083 --> 01:04:49,705
Let's sit down.
Madam Mimma, now you're alone.
481
01:04:50,375 --> 01:04:54,286
If you need Don Alvaro's protection,
you just need to speak.
482
01:04:54,875 --> 01:04:58,122
What can a poor woman
do on her own?
483
01:04:58,583 --> 01:05:04,782
But it's me! Even as a child
you made me crazy with desire!
484
01:05:06,500 --> 01:05:10,743
You know how devoted I am to you!
Anything...!
485
01:05:11,375 --> 01:05:14,871
- I beg you, not in front of him!
- The dead are not jealous!
486
01:05:15,417 --> 01:05:19,494
- But there's also the living!
- They don't have ears, when I speak!
487
01:05:20,083 --> 01:05:24,160
If you like, you could be
Don Alvaro's woman...
488
01:05:24,750 --> 01:05:28,412
...you'd be
the First Lady of Pollesano!
489
01:05:30,958 --> 01:05:34,739
It's too soon
to speak of these things.
490
01:05:35,333 --> 01:05:39,789
I bow to your mourning.
491
01:05:40,458 --> 01:05:46,123
- How long must I wait?
- At least until tomorrow.
492
01:05:46,958 --> 01:05:51,248
- Early afternoon?
- Even late morning, Don Alvaro.
493
01:05:56,958 --> 01:05:59,281
Time enough to forget.
494
01:06:24,375 --> 01:06:27,788
This here is Rosalia,
The queen of the house!
495
01:06:28,292 --> 01:06:31,409
What a beautiful bride!
You chose well.
496
01:06:39,333 --> 01:06:43,197
- What a strong man you are!
- This is nothing!
497
01:06:48,750 --> 01:06:51,156
Thanks, Mimmuzza!
498
01:06:53,500 --> 01:06:58,407
- What a beautiful little house.
- It's all yours now.
499
01:06:59,500 --> 01:07:01,456
Christ, I'm finished.
500
01:07:08,583 --> 01:07:11,617
He hasn't been out for two days,
he's ravenous for women.
501
01:07:12,083 --> 01:07:15,034
Today, Rosalia brought
their meals to them in bed.
502
01:07:15,458 --> 01:07:17,947
Last time he stayed
in there for two weeks.
503
01:07:18,333 --> 01:07:20,905
Five years ago he was younger.
504
01:07:22,292 --> 01:07:25,160
Let's go and take a look.
505
01:07:31,000 --> 01:07:33,157
Let me see.
506
01:07:44,708 --> 01:07:46,533
My turn.
507
01:08:17,250 --> 01:08:19,075
Dance, Mimmuzza!
508
01:08:27,833 --> 01:08:29,658
Dance!
509
01:09:17,500 --> 01:09:23,995
Beautiful...
Mimma... yes... yes...
510
01:09:29,417 --> 01:09:33,411
If it's true that a man can die
in a thousand ways...
511
01:09:34,000 --> 01:09:37,615
...then Don Alvaro has chosen the best way!
512
01:09:38,167 --> 01:09:42,161
What death could be better for
a man of honour like Don Alvaro...
513
01:09:42,750 --> 01:09:46,412
...than that found in the
fiery passion of a young woman?
514
01:09:46,958 --> 01:09:50,703
...his last breath
was not a sorrowful lament...
515
01:09:51,250 --> 01:09:53,324
...but a sigh of wild passionate love!
516
01:09:53,667 --> 01:09:56,203
If he could attend
his own funeral...
517
01:09:56,583 --> 01:10:00,364
...Don Alvaro would not produce tears
but copious wine.
518
01:10:00,958 --> 01:10:04,905
Do not sob at his coffin,
but applaud!
519
01:10:05,500 --> 01:10:07,704
"I lived well, and died better."
520
01:10:08,042 --> 01:10:11,538
This is what Don Alvaro Macaluso would say,
man of honour!
521
01:10:46,167 --> 01:10:50,872
Did you think I betrayed you?
No, I vindicated you.
522
01:10:51,583 --> 01:10:55,624
I used all the erotic arts.
Carmela the whore taught me.
523
01:10:56,208 --> 01:11:00,866
You knew her, right? She taught me
all the sexual techniques.
524
01:11:01,542 --> 01:11:04,955
I destroyed him using every part of my body.
525
01:11:05,458 --> 01:11:08,077
I even abused the laws of nature.
526
01:11:09,167 --> 01:11:12,829
But, revenge has been done.
Execution by sex.
527
01:11:13,375 --> 01:11:16,788
What? You want to know
if I enjoyed myself?
528
01:11:17,292 --> 01:11:20,326
Only once, involuntarily
for a split second.
529
01:11:20,792 --> 01:11:26,493
But it was tiny, I swear!
A tiny orgasm. Forgive me.
530
01:11:28,125 --> 01:11:32,783
You're angry?
Don't look at me like that, Micheluzzo!
531
01:11:33,917 --> 01:11:37,781
Can I go, then?
Bye, Micheluzzo, I'll see you.
532
01:11:57,792 --> 01:12:01,952
A Difficult Love
533
01:12:11,875 --> 01:12:15,122
- Is it much further?
- We've arrived.
534
01:12:21,375 --> 01:12:23,449
This is number 3.
535
01:12:45,458 --> 01:12:48,658
- Are you Antonietta?
- Yes, but who are you?
536
01:12:49,125 --> 01:12:52,870
- The brother. - Of who?
- Of Cosimo, your husband.
537
01:12:53,417 --> 01:12:55,823
Fuck off!
You and your brother!
538
01:13:01,083 --> 01:13:04,413
We're related.
Do you know Cosimo?
539
01:13:04,917 --> 01:13:08,781
He was around a year ago,
then he went away and left his wife.
540
01:13:09,333 --> 01:13:13,457
- Where? - Who knows?
With another woman. Men are men.
541
01:13:14,083 --> 01:13:16,750
- But...
- Stop crying, move.
542
01:13:21,167 --> 01:13:24,284
If 1 get a job, I'll spend my
first wage on a woman.
543
01:13:24,750 --> 01:13:27,867
Look at him!
544
01:13:28,500 --> 01:13:32,873
Respect where it's due,
bottoms in the city are more rotund.
545
01:13:33,667 --> 01:13:37,708
Hey handsome, you want me too?
546
01:13:41,667 --> 01:13:45,282
Run, girls! Run!
547
01:13:45,833 --> 01:13:49,993
Scarper, girls!
548
01:13:51,167 --> 01:13:54,201
Good evening, commissioner
got a light?
549
01:13:55,667 --> 01:13:58,369
- Come here!
- Piss off!
550
01:13:58,792 --> 01:14:03,414
You beast, I'm a woman who works
to put food on the table!
551
01:14:24,333 --> 01:14:26,703
Two cocktails, please.
552
01:15:01,083 --> 01:15:05,788
- Miss, may I offer you something?
- A beer.
553
01:15:06,917 --> 01:15:10,081
- Another beer.
- Thanks.
554
01:15:11,667 --> 01:15:16,242
Thank you for accepting so gracefully.
555
01:15:19,375 --> 01:15:23,997
- May we chat for a bit?
- Sure, sit down, if you want.
556
01:15:33,208 --> 01:15:35,827
Do you come here to dance often?
557
01:15:36,250 --> 01:15:39,663
No, just once in a while.
558
01:15:40,167 --> 01:15:43,083
I arrived in Milan today.
559
01:15:43,542 --> 01:15:49,207
I like this metropolis a lot
It's so full... of people.
560
01:15:51,417 --> 01:15:54,285
Excuse me dear,
but are you a Milanese?
561
01:15:54,708 --> 01:15:59,532
What? Am I Milanese?
Not originally.
562
01:16:00,250 --> 01:16:04,623
My name is Nino. What is yours?
If I'm not being indiscreet.
563
01:16:05,250 --> 01:16:10,832
- Gilda.
- Excuse me, but are you sexually occupied?
564
01:16:11,625 --> 01:16:16,532
- What are you saying?
- I mean, does Madam have a fiancee?
565
01:16:20,250 --> 01:16:22,075
No.
566
01:16:23,208 --> 01:16:28,909
So then, we could see one another,
and since I'm looking for a job...
567
01:16:29,750 --> 01:16:34,123
- What type of job are you looking for?
- May we use the 'you' form?
568
01:16:35,375 --> 01:16:38,042
But of course... It's warm!
of course...
569
01:16:39,542 --> 01:16:41,912
I'm looking for any kind of job.
570
01:16:42,292 --> 01:16:46,333
I could be a garbage collector.
They say it pays well.
571
01:16:46,917 --> 01:16:50,081
That way, I could invite you to the cinema
or offer you a pizza.
572
01:16:50,583 --> 01:16:54,328
- Is pizza good enough for you?
- Yes, as long as it's well cooked.
573
01:16:54,875 --> 01:16:58,739
- Shall we dance?
- Can't you see I've got company?
574
01:17:02,000 --> 01:17:05,698
Come and dance,
otherwise we might get knifed.
575
01:17:09,708 --> 01:17:12,707
It's a Beguine, Can you manage it?
576
01:17:22,708 --> 01:17:26,702
You dance well!
Where did you learn? Back home?
577
01:17:47,750 --> 01:17:51,791
Nino, excuse me, it was
nice to meet you.
578
01:17:52,375 --> 01:17:56,914
We've had a drink, we've talked
and even danced. But now it's goodbye.
579
01:17:57,583 --> 01:18:00,250
- What is the hurry?
- I've got to go.
580
01:18:00,625 --> 01:18:03,292
- When shall we meet again?
- I don't know...
581
01:18:03,708 --> 01:18:07,951
So then, must I consider this
encounter to be "illusory"?
582
01:18:22,917 --> 01:18:27,124
- How much for 2 beers? - 600.
- I never even took a sip...
583
01:18:33,333 --> 01:18:35,656
Five, six...
584
01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:38,825
Farewell!
585
01:18:40,792 --> 01:18:43,364
Gilda! Gilda!
586
01:18:46,083 --> 01:18:47,908
Gilda!
587
01:19:17,250 --> 01:19:20,699
Leaving on your own,
you might bump into trouble.
588
01:19:21,208 --> 01:19:23,993
If I find her, I'll tell her
I have serious intentions.
589
01:19:24,417 --> 01:19:28,198
I'll tell her "Gilda, with this kiss
I say many things".
590
01:19:28,750 --> 01:19:31,666
I will find a job
and marry you.
591
01:19:38,000 --> 01:19:40,785
She's waiting for me!
592
01:19:41,208 --> 01:19:44,538
You took ages! Where've you been?
593
01:19:47,750 --> 01:19:52,740
She said she didn't have a boyfriend.
It must be her brother.
594
01:19:56,500 --> 01:20:00,328
What brother!
She's a whore.
595
01:20:00,917 --> 01:20:02,991
Anyway, if she's a prostitute,
she'll come back.
596
01:20:03,333 --> 01:20:08,038
If she doesn't return, she's not a prostitute,
and I'll not see her again. Wise words!
597
01:20:11,958 --> 01:20:14,494
How many whores there are in Milan!
598
01:20:36,625 --> 01:20:40,406
- If you don't find me here,
I'll be at the bar. - She's come back!
599
01:20:41,208 --> 01:20:45,700
- So, she really is a whore!
- Bye, Pio. - Bye, Gilda.
600
01:20:55,042 --> 01:20:57,614
What are you doing on the ground?
601
01:21:06,000 --> 01:21:11,499
Gilda, we've nothing more to say.
We began and now we're we finished.
602
01:21:20,875 --> 01:21:24,454
Ready...
603
01:21:32,708 --> 01:21:34,533
It was wonderful.
604
01:21:36,208 --> 01:21:39,574
Thanks dear. Bye. Come back!
605
01:21:40,833 --> 01:21:42,658
Come back...
606
01:21:43,917 --> 01:21:49,073
"I don't know you
I don't know who you are..."
607
01:21:50,542 --> 01:21:53,789
"...I've got my dreams..."
608
01:21:55,292 --> 01:21:57,117
You've come back?
609
01:22:00,375 --> 01:22:03,326
- I've forgiven you.
- You forgive me?
610
01:22:03,792 --> 01:22:07,454
Good mannered people say hello.
Forgive what?
611
01:22:08,000 --> 01:22:10,536
You deceived me.
612
01:22:10,917 --> 01:22:17,033
You came to give me a sermon?
Come on, accompany me home.
613
01:22:19,000 --> 01:22:23,705
It's dead out here tonight...
Look, only 20,000 lira...
614
01:22:24,458 --> 01:22:28,037
- You make more than a surveyor!
- I'm sure you're right.
615
01:22:28,583 --> 01:22:32,364
- But, you live a vice-ridden life.
- Vice? - Being a whore.
616
01:22:32,958 --> 01:22:37,414
It's as clean as any other job,
and better than politics. Let's go.
617
01:22:38,250 --> 01:22:42,706
Come on, look sharp! Happy!
I don't want to look at you all downcast.
618
01:22:43,583 --> 01:22:48,407
- "I don't know you..."
- Hi Gilda, have you hooked up with Onassis?
619
01:22:50,917 --> 01:22:56,914
Tell the truth, did you kiss me
for feelings or for lust?
620
01:22:57,750 --> 01:23:03,783
I don't know, I did it because...
it was spontaneous.
621
01:23:06,375 --> 01:23:11,199
So then... you'd like
me to be your young man?
622
01:23:11,917 --> 01:23:18,198
I don't know... I like you
because you seem like a good boy.
623
01:23:20,167 --> 01:23:22,407
You fascinate me too.
624
01:23:22,750 --> 01:23:26,827
- I've only seen girls like you in films.
- Oh please!
625
01:23:27,417 --> 01:23:31,411
- I'm serious! Even on television.
- You're silly...
626
01:23:32,000 --> 01:23:37,997
- You look like Mina.
- Everyone tells me that. I love her!
627
01:23:38,875 --> 01:23:43,414
- Sing me something... Gilda, please.
- I'm ashamed!
628
01:23:44,125 --> 01:23:48,072
- What do you want me to sing?
- The song that you were singing earlier.
629
01:23:48,667 --> 01:23:54,036
- "I don't know you, who you are..."
- How tuneful!
630
01:23:55,042 --> 01:24:00,198
- What eyes you have!
- You're really nice. - Thank you!
631
01:24:10,667 --> 01:24:15,242
If you give up your job,
we could become an item.
632
01:24:15,917 --> 01:24:21,203
You could be my girlfriend, then my
fiancee, and then mother of our children.
633
01:24:21,958 --> 01:24:25,999
You left out being a grandmother!
Are you crazy!
634
01:24:26,583 --> 01:24:30,707
I'm already married, see the ring?
I've also got a baby, Luigino.
635
01:24:31,292 --> 01:24:35,156
But... we're separated now.
636
01:24:35,708 --> 01:24:41,989
As well as a whore, you've entered wedlock!
One illusion after another!
637
01:24:42,917 --> 01:24:46,579
Whore your sister!
What planet are you from?
638
01:24:47,125 --> 01:24:51,202
- I'm made like this, what's so strange?
- Don't get angry!
639
01:24:51,792 --> 01:24:55,952
If you want, come upstairs, if not
kiss goodbye...
640
01:24:57,292 --> 01:24:59,283
...and don't look back.
641
01:24:59,625 --> 01:25:04,200
- So, what do I do? - I don't know.
- I forgive you once more.
642
01:25:06,125 --> 01:25:10,700
- But don't get angry. I forgive you.
- Come on then, upstairs!
643
01:25:11,625 --> 01:25:13,450
I forgive you!
644
01:25:18,500 --> 01:25:21,830
- But don't get angry!
- Watch out for the Hortensias!
645
01:25:34,542 --> 01:25:36,948
I'm coming!
646
01:25:43,708 --> 01:25:50,748
Mary, mother of God!
It's like being on television!
647
01:25:55,708 --> 01:26:02,831
Do you like it, dear? It was furnished
by a client, Baraldi, the architect.
648
01:26:10,417 --> 01:26:13,202
There's even a rug!
649
01:26:15,625 --> 01:26:21,077
That's Spitz. He won seven gold medals
in Monaco. He looks like you.
650
01:26:23,167 --> 01:26:29,330
Do you want to sleep in the bed with me
or on the sofa...
651
01:26:30,708 --> 01:26:35,247
- I've never gone to bed with a woman.
Never?
652
01:26:35,917 --> 01:26:39,117
I've made love over the years,
but always standing up.
653
01:26:39,583 --> 01:26:43,162
If it won't bother you,
I'd prefer to cuddle up to you.
654
01:26:43,667 --> 01:26:46,867
No, it won't disturb me...
655
01:26:47,708 --> 01:26:51,915
Despite my job,
at nights... I'm always alone.
656
01:26:53,833 --> 01:26:57,282
It's always beautiful to feel the breath
of a nearby companion...
657
01:26:57,833 --> 01:27:01,412
...someone who...
squeezes your hand...
658
01:27:02,500 --> 01:27:05,250
I shall withdraw for a moment.
659
01:27:08,792 --> 01:27:13,118
Make yourself at home, maybe
even give yourself a little wash.
660
01:27:15,375 --> 01:27:18,077
"Love.
661
01:27:22,333 --> 01:27:30,499
"I want it to be love,
love, the real kind..."
662
01:27:34,625 --> 01:27:39,994
"I want it to be... "
663
01:27:40,958 --> 01:27:45,746
She is a fascinating woman,
with such an amazing appartment...
664
01:27:46,583 --> 01:27:49,700
What a shame she has
a thing for that bisexual...
665
01:27:50,167 --> 01:27:54,161
I'll tell her loud and clear:
I'm the man here!
666
01:27:57,333 --> 01:28:00,450
From tomorrow you must suspend
your illicit profession...
667
01:28:00,917 --> 01:28:04,034
...otherwise I won't
squeeze your hand tonight.
668
01:28:05,125 --> 01:28:07,875
She's getting ready for bedtime...
669
01:28:19,333 --> 01:28:22,450
A bearded lady is always a pleasure.
670
01:28:34,750 --> 01:28:37,239
She pees like a man...
671
01:28:44,375 --> 01:28:47,326
Mary, mother of God, she's a man!
672
01:28:49,250 --> 01:28:53,410
Oh my God, that's disgusting!
I'm getting out of here!
673
01:28:54,000 --> 01:28:55,991
Going to bed with a man?
674
01:28:56,333 --> 01:28:59,616
Standing up or with a sheep is fine,
but it has to be female!
675
01:29:00,125 --> 01:29:04,332
- Nino, where are you going?
- It's the end of the affair. I'm off.
676
01:29:05,542 --> 01:29:09,749
- But, why?
- I discovered your secret identity, Gilda!
677
01:29:10,917 --> 01:29:15,373
- You're a man!
- Man or woman... is it important, really?
678
01:29:16,042 --> 01:29:19,325
Yes, it's important!
Prostitute and married is fine!
679
01:29:19,833 --> 01:29:22,073
As long as you're of the feminine species!
680
01:29:22,417 --> 01:29:25,913
- You're still worried about little details?
- They're not details!
681
01:29:26,458 --> 01:29:30,784
I'm telling you this, from man to man,
God forgives, I don't.
682
01:29:37,292 --> 01:29:41,286
Bourgeois! Conformist!
683
01:29:46,958 --> 01:29:50,205
- Fascist!
- Homo!
684
01:29:58,958 --> 01:30:03,082
The truth is, I had already
developed feelings for her!
685
01:30:03,667 --> 01:30:07,708
I was already thinking of our future.
686
01:30:08,292 --> 01:30:10,496
Then I discovered the betrayal.
687
01:30:10,833 --> 01:30:14,827
I read that in Sweden two men got married.
688
01:30:15,417 --> 01:30:19,743
A couple must be formed
of a male and a female.
689
01:30:20,375 --> 01:30:24,867
If it's between two males, it's not
a couple, just filth.
690
01:30:25,542 --> 01:30:29,702
She was so beautiful, you know!
With just one tiny defect!
691
01:30:30,333 --> 01:30:34,114
And, speaking frankly
is wasn't that small, either.
692
01:30:38,375 --> 01:30:41,622
Thanks, dear! Don't cheat on me
or I'll hit you!
693
01:30:43,167 --> 01:30:45,241
I'll keep him sweet, 30,000!
694
01:30:45,583 --> 01:30:49,826
- At home or in the car? - Car.
- Shit! - You bitch! show!
695
01:30:50,750 --> 01:30:54,495
- What a lovely blush, where'd you get it?
- Montenapoleone.
696
01:30:55,042 --> 01:30:58,621
"1 don't know you..."
697
01:31:09,375 --> 01:31:11,200
Nino?
698
01:31:15,750 --> 01:31:17,789
Gilda...
699
01:31:21,250 --> 01:31:25,410
Gilda, I... cannot remain apart from you.
700
01:31:27,792 --> 01:31:29,949
Nor I from you!
701
01:31:31,125 --> 01:31:33,578
- Gilda...
- Nino...
702
01:31:33,958 --> 01:31:38,035
Can a man choose a male
for his legitimate companion?
703
01:31:38,625 --> 01:31:43,117
Certainly he can.
He only has to want to.
704
01:31:46,125 --> 01:31:50,072
- Gilda! I want to.
- Really?
705
01:31:51,500 --> 01:31:56,158
Nino... Nino...
706
01:31:56,833 --> 01:32:00,780
I'm coming! What manners!
I was talking with my fiancee.
707
01:32:01,375 --> 01:32:05,037
- Not tonight, mister.
I'm indisposed.
708
01:32:22,917 --> 01:32:27,290
I made it weak, or you won't sleep.
You're always hungry.
709
01:32:27,958 --> 01:32:32,284
- What a mess! How many sugars?
- Three.
710
01:32:32,917 --> 01:32:37,077
- Do you like it bitter? None for me,
I've got 3 kilos to lose.
711
01:32:38,042 --> 01:32:40,709
Can you unlace me?
712
01:32:41,708 --> 01:32:45,915
- What a beautiful outfit. - We'll have
a small liqueur and then off to bed.
713
01:32:49,417 --> 01:32:52,866
- Did you eat well?
- Well enough. Is he a relative?
714
01:32:53,375 --> 01:32:57,322
No, it's Marlon!
I go crazy for Brando.
715
01:33:01,000 --> 01:33:04,081
- Allow me.
- Sweetie...
716
01:33:04,792 --> 01:33:08,490
You bet I'm against it!
Why do I have to join the Union?
717
01:33:09,042 --> 01:33:14,115
- To defend your interests!
- Defend you're own, you homo!
718
01:33:14,875 --> 01:33:18,324
We don't go in for wanking off
people in the cinema!
719
01:33:18,875 --> 01:33:23,165
- We're not paedophiles or homosexuals,
we're women!
720
01:33:23,792 --> 01:33:27,288
- We're ladies!
- Then why are you called Giuseppe?
721
01:33:27,792 --> 01:33:31,833
- Oh, fuck off! - We've got
nothing to do with your 'problem'!
722
01:33:32,417 --> 01:33:35,664
We could be part of the
women's liberation front!
723
01:33:36,167 --> 01:33:40,291
- We're not ashamed. Who are you?
- Valeria. - Monica.
724
01:33:40,917 --> 01:33:44,532
I'm Gilda. Today, like any other
I'm Miss Gilda!
725
01:33:45,083 --> 01:33:49,243
- Your wife's looking for you.
- Oh Christ, there she is.
726
01:33:54,542 --> 01:33:58,038
You know I don't like it when you come
to my work place. What is it?
727
01:33:58,583 --> 01:34:02,494
- Luigino is ill. He's got a fever.
- It's not serious?
728
01:34:03,083 --> 01:34:06,911
- I've got to buy medicine.
- OK, I understand.
729
01:34:07,458 --> 01:34:10,954
I don't fall behind, you know?
730
01:34:11,917 --> 01:34:16,160
- You could get your hair done, though.
- With all I have to do?.
731
01:34:16,792 --> 01:34:20,739
You always were... Later!
You always were so dowdy!
732
01:34:21,333 --> 01:34:26,702
...oh it's only Borghetti...
I'll bring you one of my left-over dresses.
733
01:34:28,167 --> 01:34:32,742
Something simple, maybe.
Take it, go on. Bye.
734
01:34:35,667 --> 01:34:40,242
- Bye. Say hello to Luigino.
- Thanks.
735
01:34:42,167 --> 01:34:43,992
Walk upright!
736
01:34:49,375 --> 01:34:54,080
- I brought you a cappuccino.
- Thanks. You're always so kind.
737
01:34:54,792 --> 01:34:59,248
- Isn't that Antonietta?
- Why do you know her?
738
01:34:59,875 --> 01:35:03,822
- Sort of. Do you know her?
- She's my wife.
739
01:35:04,417 --> 01:35:08,328
One of my brothers
is married to her also.
740
01:35:13,708 --> 01:35:18,081
Gilda... you're name isn't Cosimo,
by any chance?
741
01:35:18,750 --> 01:35:22,531
Yes, Cosimo Berraldi from Carbonara...
742
01:35:23,083 --> 01:35:27,456
- But then, you...
- You're Saturnino?!
743
01:35:28,125 --> 01:35:31,491
- Saturnino, that's me!
- You're my brother!
744
01:35:50,083 --> 01:35:54,243
- What kind of shit pile am I caught up in?
- Mary, mother of God!
745
01:35:55,042 --> 01:36:00,032
- Saturnino, but... - Why didn't you
identify me on the first day?
746
01:36:00,792 --> 01:36:03,708
And why didn't you recognise me, maybe?
747
01:36:04,125 --> 01:36:07,325
When I left home, you were 10!
748
01:36:07,833 --> 01:36:11,874
And now...
you've changed a lot!
749
01:36:12,458 --> 01:36:16,784
And you haven't?
You're more changed than me!
750
01:36:17,417 --> 01:36:20,451
- Queer!
- Oh yes? And you?
751
01:36:28,333 --> 01:36:32,540
- ...what a shame...
- What shame?
752
01:36:33,958 --> 01:36:40,749
I thought...
instead of being a man, you were a woman...
753
01:36:42,458 --> 01:36:45,457
...instead of being a whore,
you were respectably employed...
754
01:36:45,917 --> 01:36:48,489
...instead of being married
you were unattached...
755
01:36:48,875 --> 01:36:52,454
- And if instead of being my brother,
you were a female cousin...
756
01:36:52,958 --> 01:36:57,082
We could have celebrated our ecstasy
and been happy.
757
01:36:59,708 --> 01:37:04,413
Nino...
it was destiny brought us together...
758
01:37:07,875 --> 01:37:10,542
...and destiny that separates us.
759
01:37:12,500 --> 01:37:14,823
That's life.
760
01:37:17,917 --> 01:37:19,742
Bye, Nino.
761
01:37:25,000 --> 01:37:26,825
Bye.
762
01:38:38,833 --> 01:38:41,950
The Guest
763
01:38:59,917 --> 01:39:02,667
We're here, finally!
764
01:39:03,083 --> 01:39:07,077
It took a while, but it was worth it!
Feel the air!
765
01:39:07,667 --> 01:39:11,199
- Breathe in!
- On balance, it's good.
766
01:39:11,708 --> 01:39:16,366
It's a nice little place! One hectare.
The house was 150 million lira.
767
01:39:17,042 --> 01:39:21,119
Come on! For my wife, it's a celebration
when [ invite someone for dinner.
768
01:39:21,708 --> 01:39:24,659
She's always at home,
she never sees anyone!
769
01:39:25,083 --> 01:39:28,994
- She's a simple woman... Hi, Peppino
- Good evening, sir.
770
01:39:29,583 --> 01:39:32,830
- How are the Gardenias?
- I'll bring them into the greenhouse.
771
01:39:33,292 --> 01:39:37,156
The house is Bunker-style!
Designed by a pupil of Corbusier's!
772
01:39:37,708 --> 01:39:41,489
Tizianal... Guess how much we pay
the gardener? 120,000 lira a month!
773
01:39:42,042 --> 01:39:46,747
On top of that, lodging, food,
lights, heating, all for free!
774
01:39:47,417 --> 01:39:51,743
- Who's better off than him? Tell me?
- No one!
775
01:39:52,792 --> 01:39:56,241
This is my humble abode.
776
01:39:57,625 --> 01:40:01,453
Like the proverb: "Show me where
you live, I'll tell you who you are".
777
01:40:02,042 --> 01:40:06,249
This is my lady. They're both beautiful, no?
Hi, Tizzy.
778
01:40:06,875 --> 01:40:09,411
- Dr Bianchi.
- Charmed.
779
01:40:09,792 --> 01:40:15,125
He's the head of Social Statistics
at the headquarters in Padova.
780
01:40:15,917 --> 01:40:20,539
The say that statistics are the least exact
of the exact sciences!
781
01:40:21,208 --> 01:40:25,119
- Exactly!
- Please, sit where you like.
782
01:40:25,708 --> 01:40:29,785
Earlier you were telling me that
of a 100 people invited to dinner...
783
01:40:30,417 --> 01:40:35,122
.55 refuse with an excuse, 30 accept,
because they don't know how to refuse...
784
01:40:35,792 --> 01:40:39,288
.10 accept
but then regret it bitterly.
785
01:40:39,833 --> 01:40:44,740
- Plexiglas lighter!
- It's simple, just twist.
786
01:40:45,458 --> 01:40:51,123
You know, architects also design
lighters, glasses, pens.
787
01:40:51,917 --> 01:40:57,535
Only 5% of dinner invitations
are fully satisfying.
788
01:40:58,333 --> 01:41:04,863
- I hope that you will be one of the 5%.
- I'm sorry to disturb you.
789
01:41:06,583 --> 01:41:11,490
It's not a bother. It'll be an impromptu
dinner, but we'll give it our best.
790
01:41:12,208 --> 01:41:15,076
- Rosaria, one place more for dinner.
791
01:41:15,500 --> 01:41:20,241
She makes a fortune with us,
but she's always got a long face!
792
01:41:20,917 --> 01:41:25,160
She gets 150,000 lira a month,
she must weigh only about 38 kilos.
793
01:41:25,792 --> 01:41:29,454
That's more than 4000 lira per kilo,
like veal!
794
01:41:30,000 --> 01:41:35,831
- Even Parmesan's gone up in price.
- Christ, who's better off than these domestics?
795
01:41:36,667 --> 01:41:41,408
- Maybe gardeners. - They're practically
beggars, but they've got such airs!
796
01:41:42,125 --> 01:41:45,787
Tiziana wants a child. But we can't afford
one, unless we get rid of the domestic.
797
01:41:46,333 --> 01:41:49,912
But the doctor isn't interested in this.
Go on, make an aperitif.
798
01:41:50,458 --> 01:41:54,369
Straight away. If you want
to call the hotel, be my guest.
799
01:41:54,958 --> 01:41:59,414
- There's no rush. - The telephone
is in my bedroom, I'll show you.
800
01:42:00,083 --> 01:42:05,156
Maybe it's best. If someone calls for me,
they'll know I'm here.
801
01:42:05,917 --> 01:42:09,579
Tiziana, get changed!
You're not going to eat like that!
802
01:42:21,333 --> 01:42:27,697
Hotel Duomo? No. Oh, The Supponevo?
Excuse me, my mistake.
803
01:42:39,000 --> 01:42:42,662
I'm trying to reach the Hotel Duomo.
Ah, you're the Hotel Duomo?
804
01:42:43,208 --> 01:42:46,953
I'm looking for Dr Bianchi.
Yes, I'll hold.
805
01:42:47,500 --> 01:42:51,660
Oh, what an idiot, I am.
It's me, Dr Bianchi, calling.
806
01:42:53,167 --> 01:42:58,583
I've been invited out for dinner.
Without a bra.
807
01:43:00,000 --> 01:43:04,622
If someone calls, can you forward them?
I'll give you the number.
808
01:43:05,458 --> 01:43:08,658
36, 44, 25... 26.
809
01:43:14,125 --> 01:43:16,744
Thanks. I'll hold.
810
01:43:25,042 --> 01:43:26,867
Ah, yes...
811
01:43:30,833 --> 01:43:32,658
I've alerted them.
812
01:43:37,458 --> 01:43:42,199
This aperitif requires a lengthy
preparation, but it's worth it.
813
01:43:42,917 --> 01:43:46,579
It seems easy to make,
but it's a very precise thing.
814
01:43:47,125 --> 01:43:50,953
It's my invention,
I call it "the bulldozer".
815
01:43:51,542 --> 01:43:56,164
- 3/8 Martini, 4/8 vodka
and 1/8...
816
01:43:56,833 --> 01:44:01,870
- Watch out! - It's not important.
- 1/8 rhubarb.
817
01:44:02,583 --> 01:44:08,035
It's nothing, it's already dry!
818
01:44:08,833 --> 01:44:13,574
- ...two grains of black pepper...
- Excuse me, Madam... please...
819
01:44:14,292 --> 01:44:18,618
- Let me do it, otherwise it'll stain.
- It's not important.
820
01:44:23,542 --> 01:44:29,705
What are you doing? Let me do it...
Also, because... excuse me, but...
821
01:44:31,083 --> 01:44:36,618
- Ah, it's a bit of a delicate area.
822
01:44:37,417 --> 01:44:41,790
- Don't worry about it.
823
01:44:42,458 --> 01:44:46,203
- Excuse me, but...
824
01:44:48,458 --> 01:44:52,239
- Your very kind, thank you.
- Cheers! - Cheers!
825
01:44:52,792 --> 01:44:55,992
- What are you doing, Tiziana?
- Nothing, I was just cleaning it.
826
01:44:57,000 --> 01:45:03,246
Taste it. Tell me what you think.
Be honest. It's good, right?
827
01:45:03,958 --> 01:45:08,616
- What's this?
- Basil.
828
01:45:09,292 --> 01:45:12,243
- Good? - Good...
- Bulldozer!
829
01:45:13,042 --> 01:45:17,119
This is my kingdom.
Here I command everything with my hands.
830
01:45:17,708 --> 01:45:21,868
I don't rely on anybody.
They'd dry out the lot, in a couple of days.
831
01:45:22,500 --> 01:45:26,447
Once I came back from Paris a day early,
worried about my roses.
832
01:45:27,042 --> 01:45:30,408
I care more about the flowers than my wife,
..s0 to speak.
833
01:45:30,917 --> 01:45:35,705
Did you know that flowers
can sense music?
834
01:45:36,375 --> 01:45:40,286
I pipe through two hours a day,
one in the morning, one in the evening!
835
01:45:40,875 --> 01:45:45,035
What a beautiful peach.
Help me get it.
836
01:45:45,667 --> 01:45:51,036
- ...tulips love jazz...
- Help me get it. - Shall I lift you?
837
01:45:51,792 --> 01:45:58,868
...it's got to be delicate, diffuse music.
No brass...
838
01:45:59,875 --> 01:46:04,580
- Did you get it? - Yes!
- Are you listening?
839
01:46:05,250 --> 01:46:10,204
- Yes, I heard, flowers like music.
- I got it!
840
01:46:10,917 --> 01:46:14,781
- ...except dahlias...
- Bite!
841
01:46:15,667 --> 01:46:19,708
- Dinner is ready.
- We're coming, Rosaria. It's ready!
842
01:46:20,583 --> 01:46:24,873
- Perhaps the doctor wants to wash
his hands. - It's not important.
843
01:46:25,500 --> 01:46:30,241
- I'll take you. - There's a heavenly
risotto on the table...!
844
01:46:31,417 --> 01:46:34,617
I enjoy myself at dinner
more than I do in the bedroom.
845
01:46:37,208 --> 01:46:40,159
- Here's a clean hand towel.
- Thank you.
846
01:46:40,667 --> 01:46:44,033
- If you want to take off your jacket...
- No, I'm fine.
847
01:46:44,542 --> 01:46:47,706
- I'll take advantage of the moment.
- Of course.
848
01:47:19,583 --> 01:47:22,830
- Tiziana.
- She's not here.
849
01:47:23,292 --> 01:47:25,994
- Yes, here I am.
- Yes, Tiziana's in here.
850
01:47:30,500 --> 01:47:32,491
It's your husband...
851
01:47:36,500 --> 01:47:39,451
What an idiot.
I was taking the soap with me.
852
01:47:40,833 --> 01:47:44,365
You know your wife was here, inside?
853
01:47:48,750 --> 01:47:52,993
- Bravo, Dr Bianchi
- Well... thanks.
854
01:48:04,208 --> 01:48:07,906
You know, my typist...
855
01:48:08,458 --> 01:48:12,618
...I repeat, my typist, a good girl,
from a good family...
856
01:48:13,250 --> 01:48:17,789
...makes, including extras,
180,000 lira a month...
857
01:48:18,458 --> 01:48:22,405
...for banging on a machine 8 hours a day,
which isn't a lot?
858
01:48:23,000 --> 01:48:28,369
These days in Italy
those who are better off...
859
01:48:29,125 --> 01:48:32,870
...are those who were dying of hunger
at one time.
860
01:48:33,417 --> 01:48:37,494
The working class are the richest!
861
01:48:38,833 --> 01:48:42,282
It seems like a paradox,
but that's how it is!
862
01:48:42,792 --> 01:48:46,490
At one time the kingdom of heaven
was reserved for the poor.
863
01:48:47,042 --> 01:48:50,953
Now they don't do so badly
here on earth!
864
01:48:53,333 --> 01:48:58,038
The roast beef is really good,
I'll take another piece. Screw Cholesterol!
865
01:48:58,750 --> 01:49:03,455
- Here, this one. The wine's good, right?
- Excellent!
866
01:49:04,583 --> 01:49:06,953
To your health, Madam!
867
01:49:07,292 --> 01:49:11,535
Ours is an exquisitely economic problem...
868
01:49:12,167 --> 01:49:15,948
...you can't do anything
without a healthy economy.
869
01:49:16,542 --> 01:49:19,161
I'm grabbing another piece!
870
01:49:19,708 --> 01:49:23,489
Know what the chief industrialist
in Lombardy told me?
871
01:49:24,042 --> 01:49:27,206
"Don't get me started!"
872
01:49:27,708 --> 01:49:34,618
If someone like him is speaking like that,
we've really hit the bottom!
873
01:50:11,208 --> 01:50:14,408
What a wonderful odour you have,
Madam Tiziana.
874
01:50:16,125 --> 01:50:19,953
- Listen, Madam...
- Tell me.
875
01:50:20,750 --> 01:50:24,578
- Earlier, at dinner...
- "Earlier, at dinner...
876
01:50:25,167 --> 01:50:29,244
Yes, when...
When you were playing footsie...
877
01:50:29,833 --> 01:50:34,206
- When I was playing footsie...?
- Nothing, I thought...
878
01:50:35,042 --> 01:50:39,451
- And if he realised?
- Who? - Your husband.
879
01:50:40,458 --> 01:50:45,531
- Realised what?
- I had the impression that...
880
01:50:46,500 --> 01:50:51,039
- Perhaps I was mistaken.
- Certainly you're mistaken!
881
01:51:00,833 --> 01:51:03,867
- He's sleeping.
- It happens often, after dinner.
882
01:51:04,333 --> 01:51:08,197
- Won't he wake up? - No, but
don't think about taking advantage.
883
01:51:08,792 --> 01:51:13,118
- In what sense? - Perhaps you're
thinking of seducing the wife.
884
01:51:13,750 --> 01:51:17,495
- Ssh, speak quieter...
- Tell the truth, you've thought about it.
885
01:51:18,042 --> 01:51:22,036
- No, I swear it.
- Don't swear, I can read it in your face.
886
01:51:22,625 --> 01:51:26,489
- If you move closer, I'll scream!
- I was just changing position.
887
01:51:28,333 --> 01:51:33,038
- But you want to.
- Yes... but in a respectful way...
888
01:51:36,292 --> 01:51:40,120
- He's still sleeping.
- We've already said that.
889
01:51:40,667 --> 01:51:43,914
- Would you have the courage, here,
in front of him? - I don't think so.
890
01:51:44,417 --> 01:51:48,790
- If he wasn't here, would you dare?
- I would, but he is! - Then dare!
891
01:51:49,458 --> 01:51:52,409
Don't provoke me,
it could be dangerous.
892
01:51:52,875 --> 01:51:55,992
- Danger excites me!
- Excitement inhibits me!
893
01:51:56,458 --> 01:51:58,864
Inhibitions excite me!
894
01:52:06,083 --> 01:52:10,622
Where's Dr Bianchi gone?
What are you doing? Have you lost something?
895
01:52:11,292 --> 01:52:14,539
No, no... I was looking for...
Where is it...?
896
01:52:16,083 --> 01:52:20,871
- No it's nothing.
- Don't sit, it's late, time to sleep.
897
01:52:21,583 --> 01:52:25,956
- No, I promise you, I'm...
- I'm saying it for you.
898
01:52:26,583 --> 01:52:30,660
- No, I'll stay!...Maybe another drink.
- No. No. No.
899
01:52:31,792 --> 01:52:36,948
Rosaria, accompany him to his car.
Let's go, I've got a lot on tomorrow.
900
01:52:37,708 --> 01:52:41,572
- If you insist, I'll stay!
- No, go back to your hotel.
901
01:52:42,125 --> 01:52:44,697
- I could leave a little later.
- Out!
902
01:52:45,792 --> 01:52:50,865
- But her hands were all over me...
- LEAVE!! - I'm going, I'm going... so rude!
903
01:52:52,375 --> 01:52:56,239
That degenerate will never
enter my house again!
904
01:53:01,333 --> 01:53:03,905
Come here, you, now...
905
01:53:06,500 --> 01:53:10,079
Well done! You were magnificent!
906
01:53:10,625 --> 01:53:14,832
- What a fantastic idea.
- Yes, my love.
907
01:53:15,458 --> 01:53:19,369
We'll do all the positions!
Even number 12, which you love so much!
908
01:53:19,958 --> 01:53:22,909
Come here, whore, slut!
I'll strip you naked!
909
01:53:23,333 --> 01:53:25,620
He's a raging lunatic!
910
01:53:26,000 --> 01:53:29,366
Why do the dinner guests
always molest me?
911
01:53:29,875 --> 01:53:33,537
Whatever happened to courtship
and good manners?!
912
01:53:35,708 --> 01:53:37,083
Madam, it's Eight O'clock.
913
01:53:39,792 --> 01:53:41,119
Two Hearts and a Shack
914
01:53:43,042 --> 01:53:44,369
It's Never Too Late
915
01:53:46,667 --> 01:53:48,042
The Honeymoon
916
01:53:50,750 --> 01:53:52,077
Come Back My Darling
917
01:53:53,750 --> 01:53:55,125
Italian Workers Abroad
918
01:53:58,042 --> 01:53:59,369
The Vendetta
919
01:54:02,208 --> 01:54:03,535
A Difficult Love
920
01:54:05,417 --> 01:54:06,792
The Guest
921
01:54:10,625 --> 01:54:16,456
Subtitled by SL Handy
922
01:54:18,542 --> 01:54:22,702
June 2010
78444
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