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1
00:00:06,631 --> 00:00:08,673
We're gonna suck a person
out of this person!
2
00:00:11,589 --> 00:00:13,214
-You killed it.
-What?
3
00:00:13,756 --> 00:00:16,089
I'm smiling, you killed it.
Like...
4
00:00:18,464 --> 00:00:19,673
What is that?
5
00:00:19,756 --> 00:00:21,339
It's an oxygen leak.
6
00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:23,047
What is this ship made of?
7
00:00:23,130 --> 00:00:24,005
Tinfoil?
8
00:00:24,297 --> 00:00:25,798
You need to change
the way they see the ship.
9
00:00:25,881 --> 00:00:28,381
Are you talking about lasers?
10
00:00:29,631 --> 00:00:32,089
The president suggested
we lose 500 people.
11
00:00:32,172 --> 00:00:33,798
You're just gonna kill
500 passengers?
12
00:00:34,964 --> 00:00:36,506
The Beeping
is the ship telling us
13
00:00:36,589 --> 00:00:38,089
to recalibrate for the baby.
14
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:40,005
-We have air?!
-Yeah, we have air.
15
00:00:40,089 --> 00:00:41,464
And... light 'em up!
16
00:00:42,047 --> 00:00:43,047
He's transformed
17
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:45,130
the most disgusting thing
imaginable
18
00:00:45,214 --> 00:00:47,798
into a kaleidoscope
of butt truffles.
19
00:00:55,381 --> 00:00:58,214
Space and luxury,
a somewhat awkward marriage.
20
00:00:58,297 --> 00:01:00,214
But then, isn't every marriage?
21
00:01:00,297 --> 00:01:01,673
I know mine was!
22
00:01:01,756 --> 00:01:03,714
With comms down,
we can't talk to Earth,
23
00:01:03,798 --> 00:01:06,547
but we can still
swim like a mermaid,
24
00:01:06,631 --> 00:01:09,547
gamble like a gangster,
eat like a beast.
25
00:01:09,631 --> 00:01:11,214
Some food flavorings
may not be available.
26
00:01:11,297 --> 00:01:16,589
And spend hours marveling
at our illuminated
circle of turds!
27
00:01:18,089 --> 00:01:20,172
This thing
is kind of mesmerizing
28
00:01:20,255 --> 00:01:22,255
since Mr. Judd lit it up.
29
00:01:23,089 --> 00:01:25,422
See that--
Look at right there.
30
00:01:25,506 --> 00:01:27,089
Looks like a burrito.
31
00:01:27,172 --> 00:01:28,506
Where?
32
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,881
- Right-- See? It's moving.
- I'm not seeing a burrito.
33
00:01:31,964 --> 00:01:34,297
I can see a face there, kind of.
34
00:01:35,339 --> 00:01:36,673
It's maybe...
35
00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:39,047
John Paul.
36
00:01:39,130 --> 00:01:40,422
Beatles or Getty?
37
00:01:40,506 --> 00:01:41,881
I see the pope's face.
38
00:01:41,964 --> 00:01:44,422
Pope John Paul II. He was in
at the turn of the century.
39
00:01:44,506 --> 00:01:45,589
Infallible, obviously,
40
00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:48,631
but great at apologizing
for historical bad stuff.
41
00:01:48,714 --> 00:01:50,964
All I'm seeing is a lot
of shiny excrement.
42
00:01:51,047 --> 00:01:52,464
I'm sorry, guys.
43
00:01:52,547 --> 00:01:54,547
JP was one of the good ones,
too.
44
00:01:54,631 --> 00:01:56,130
Wasn't even a Nazi in his youth.
45
00:01:56,214 --> 00:02:00,089
I'm-- I'm just not sure a pope
would choose to appear in shit.
46
00:02:00,172 --> 00:02:02,756
Wouldn't he pick, like,
motor oil or pancakes?
47
00:02:02,839 --> 00:02:04,714
Honestly, I see his face.
48
00:02:05,964 --> 00:02:08,005
Maybe I'll see you later,
Mr. Pope,
49
00:02:08,089 --> 00:02:11,172
since... I guess
I'm the only one who can.
50
00:02:25,255 --> 00:02:27,214
Wow.
51
00:02:27,297 --> 00:02:29,673
It's like a screenshot
from the Bible.
52
00:02:30,673 --> 00:02:33,756
So, when does this,
Caca Papa appear?
53
00:02:33,839 --> 00:02:35,714
Any second now.
It's every 90 minutes.
54
00:02:35,798 --> 00:02:37,506
Yeah.
You can set your watch by it.
55
00:02:37,589 --> 00:02:39,005
Although I prefer to use
the onboard time--
56
00:02:39,089 --> 00:02:41,547
There he is. Bless you.
57
00:02:41,631 --> 00:02:43,130
I wish I could kiss his ring.
58
00:02:43,214 --> 00:02:44,839
Can you see it, Billie?
59
00:02:44,923 --> 00:02:48,589
The descent into barbarism?
Yeah, I can see that clearly.
60
00:02:48,673 --> 00:02:50,172
The pope, I do not see.
61
00:02:50,255 --> 00:02:51,923
No, I don't see it either.
62
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,881
But I can see the joy
63
00:02:53,964 --> 00:02:56,297
that his face
puts on their faces.
64
00:02:56,881 --> 00:02:58,172
I don't understand.
65
00:02:58,255 --> 00:03:00,255
Joy. It's a--
it's a human emotion.
66
00:03:00,339 --> 00:03:02,172
Used to be quite popular.
67
00:03:02,255 --> 00:03:04,255
That right there,
is that an ear?
68
00:03:04,339 --> 00:03:06,464
No, it's a piece of shit.
69
00:03:06,547 --> 00:03:09,255
As long as it keeps people
from murdering me in my bed,
I'll be happy.
70
00:03:09,339 --> 00:03:11,172
For fuck's sake,
get out of my way.
71
00:03:11,255 --> 00:03:13,381
-Iris.
-It's not making everyone happy.
-It's Harrison.
72
00:03:13,464 --> 00:03:16,964
Get out of my way,
you bunch of brides of Christ.
- Let's go.
73
00:03:17,047 --> 00:03:19,172
- What-- Who-- What is-- Who?
- Fuck off!
74
00:03:19,255 --> 00:03:21,422
- Who is Harrison?
- Harrison. Harrison.
75
00:03:21,506 --> 00:03:23,756
That's just somebody
that I'm not scared of.
76
00:03:23,839 --> 00:03:25,589
Why don't we talk about
something else and not that guy
77
00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:28,964
'cause, honestly...
...who cares about him? Not me.
78
00:03:29,047 --> 00:03:30,297
Hi, Captain.
79
00:03:30,381 --> 00:03:32,130
Hey there, Mike.
How are you doing?
80
00:03:32,214 --> 00:03:34,756
Good, good
- I have not
forgotten about Harrison.
81
00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:36,005
Jesus Christ.
82
00:03:36,089 --> 00:03:37,547
I just heard I'm gonna be
at your table tonight.
83
00:03:37,631 --> 00:03:39,255
What,
with an apple in your mouth
84
00:03:39,339 --> 00:03:41,255
and pineapple nipple rings
like I requested?
85
00:03:41,339 --> 00:03:43,214
Just kidding.
Is Barbara gonna be with you?
86
00:03:43,297 --> 00:03:44,881
Yes, sir.
She's very excited about it.
87
00:03:44,964 --> 00:03:46,798
-Me too. Can't wait.
See you later.
-Okay.
88
00:03:46,881 --> 00:03:48,714
I want to hear
more about Harrison.
89
00:03:48,798 --> 00:03:50,881
I wanna know about Barbara.
How do you like that?
90
00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:53,172
-How does that make you feel?
-Barbara's my wife.
91
00:03:53,255 --> 00:03:54,881
I didn't ask you.
She is, though?
92
00:03:54,964 --> 00:03:56,881
- Yes, she is.
- I didn't see that coming.
93
00:03:56,964 --> 00:03:59,881
-Who's Harrison?
-No. Thank you for sharing...
94
00:03:59,964 --> 00:04:01,297
-about your wife.
-It's a great story.
95
00:04:01,381 --> 00:04:03,047
Good luck.
I hope she feels better.
96
00:04:03,130 --> 00:04:04,547
Judd Very Light Beer.
97
00:04:04,631 --> 00:04:08,172
It hurts less on the way in
than it does on the way out.
98
00:04:08,255 --> 00:04:10,839
It feels like you're peeing
actual fire.
99
00:04:10,923 --> 00:04:13,047
We're gonna see
that guy's suicide, aren't we?
100
00:04:13,130 --> 00:04:15,339
Sure. But when it happens,
we all tell HR
101
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,464
-there were no warning signs.
-Got it.
102
00:04:17,547 --> 00:04:19,005
I have the feeling
that he might have spent
103
00:04:19,089 --> 00:04:22,047
the first couple of years
of his life locked in a shed.
104
00:04:22,130 --> 00:04:23,631
- Fudd!
- Iris!
105
00:04:23,714 --> 00:04:25,047
Wait! Is this Harrison?
106
00:04:25,130 --> 00:04:26,339
You're in no physical danger.
107
00:04:26,422 --> 00:04:28,255
Well, not unless he buys me
dinner first.
108
00:04:28,339 --> 00:04:30,964
Iris, he's making
weird sexual violent innuendo
109
00:04:31,047 --> 00:04:32,631
- I don't fully understand.
- Fudd.
110
00:04:32,714 --> 00:04:34,714
Judd.
You know my name is Judd.
111
00:04:34,798 --> 00:04:38,214
Silence, Fudd,
you quivering sack of fraud.
112
00:04:38,297 --> 00:04:40,798
And you explain to me
why the first-class hallway...
113
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:43,130
-Can you stop this?
-Absolutely.
114
00:04:43,214 --> 00:04:45,589
...is teeming
with tenth-class passengers
115
00:04:45,673 --> 00:04:47,255
-bleating about a dead pope?
-Well?
116
00:04:47,339 --> 00:04:48,964
Now, when are comms back on?
117
00:04:49,047 --> 00:04:50,673
- You mean now?
- Well...
118
00:04:50,756 --> 00:04:53,422
I'm gonna need some information.
Who-- Who is this guy?
119
00:04:53,506 --> 00:04:56,422
Harrison Ames is an awful
and awfully litigious man
120
00:04:56,506 --> 00:04:58,756
with more trillions
than you have nostrils.
121
00:04:59,839 --> 00:05:01,255
Three. He has three trillion.
122
00:05:01,339 --> 00:05:03,255
Because you're
costing me money, you hairball.
- Okay.
123
00:05:03,339 --> 00:05:05,130
Mr. Harrison Ames!
124
00:05:05,214 --> 00:05:06,464
Captain Ryan Clark.
125
00:05:06,547 --> 00:05:08,255
Well, that's quite
a grip you got there, Captain.
126
00:05:08,339 --> 00:05:11,130
Well, I treat handshakes
the way I treat my job.
127
00:05:11,214 --> 00:05:12,172
I like pressure.
128
00:05:12,255 --> 00:05:14,547
Yes. Well, pressure...
creates diamonds.
129
00:05:14,631 --> 00:05:16,881
Then consider this
a 25-carat shake.
130
00:05:16,964 --> 00:05:19,464
-I like it. I like that.
-I-- I also have manly hands.
131
00:05:19,547 --> 00:05:21,964
-Correct, Iris?
-Absolutely. Like shovels.
132
00:05:22,047 --> 00:05:25,005
Tell him about my firm grip.
Did you guys hear about my grip?
133
00:05:25,089 --> 00:05:26,881
- What?
- My... firm grip.
134
00:05:28,130 --> 00:05:30,047
First of all, Mr. Ames,
what I want to say
135
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:33,506
is that that nonsense
in the hallway is unacceptable.
136
00:05:33,589 --> 00:05:35,381
And that stops right now.
137
00:05:35,464 --> 00:05:37,339
That is impressive.
You see this, Fudd?
138
00:05:37,422 --> 00:05:38,964
-Judd.
-This, Fudd,
139
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:41,422
-is what power looks like.
-Judd.
140
00:05:41,506 --> 00:05:44,339
-Tell me, Captain, do you golf?
-Do I--
141
00:05:44,422 --> 00:05:45,881
Does the pope shit in the woods?
142
00:05:45,964 --> 00:05:47,964
--I don't know.
-Well, according to these guys,
143
00:05:48,047 --> 00:05:49,130
he probably does.
144
00:05:50,839 --> 00:05:53,464
-I'm playing this bozo
on the VR golf range.
-Okay.
145
00:05:53,547 --> 00:05:55,589
Why don't you join us
for a few cheeky holes?
146
00:05:55,673 --> 00:05:57,506
You know,
my VR golf is very cool.
147
00:05:57,589 --> 00:05:59,964
You can tee off
as young Judy Garland,
148
00:06:00,047 --> 00:06:01,255
and then sink your last putt
149
00:06:01,339 --> 00:06:03,214
as old, drunk Judy Garland.
150
00:06:03,297 --> 00:06:06,005
Not that I have done that.
I would-- I don't do that.
151
00:06:06,089 --> 00:06:07,255
He's totally done that,
152
00:06:07,339 --> 00:06:08,839
and I think that's the saddest
thing I've ever heard.
153
00:06:08,923 --> 00:06:10,422
And I've heard whalesong.
154
00:06:10,506 --> 00:06:12,339
See you on the virtual green,
Fudd.
155
00:06:12,422 --> 00:06:14,714
Not if I see you first,
Farrison.
156
00:06:14,798 --> 00:06:17,464
- Jesus.
- Fesus.
157
00:06:17,547 --> 00:06:18,756
We have great banter.
158
00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:20,923
No, we don't,
you fucker!
- See?
159
00:06:23,255 --> 00:06:25,339
We found a short window
for a supply shuttle,
160
00:06:25,422 --> 00:06:27,964
and communications to Avenue 5
should be restored in ten.
161
00:06:28,047 --> 00:06:29,881
Goody, goody, gum disease.
162
00:06:29,964 --> 00:06:31,381
Last ten minutes with no Judd.
163
00:06:31,464 --> 00:06:33,214
And I've wasted some of it
saying this.
164
00:06:33,297 --> 00:06:34,381
Just a quick heads-up.
165
00:06:34,464 --> 00:06:37,047
There are some pretty gnarly
protesters outside.
166
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:39,047
Just in case you hear
any effin' and jeffin'.
167
00:06:39,130 --> 00:06:41,547
Protesters? What are they,
anti-jet propulsion?
168
00:06:41,631 --> 00:06:43,381
-No, anti-you.
-Me?
169
00:06:43,464 --> 00:06:45,714
Queen of Death Rav Mulcair
170
00:06:45,798 --> 00:06:47,631
orders the murder
of 500 Avenue 5 innocents.
171
00:06:47,714 --> 00:06:49,589
This should all be on Judd.
He's in charge.
172
00:06:49,673 --> 00:06:51,589
I was just following--
173
00:06:51,673 --> 00:06:55,798
Yes, yes, I know, but sometimes
that is what people should do.
174
00:06:55,881 --> 00:06:57,798
I suppose you are Head
of Mission Control.
175
00:06:59,130 --> 00:07:01,130
And I guess what, you know,
they're saying...
176
00:07:01,214 --> 00:07:03,005
is that you're not.
177
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,714
In control.
Of the mission.
178
00:07:06,673 --> 00:07:08,506
Alan, could you possibly find me
some coordinates
179
00:07:08,589 --> 00:07:10,464
as far away from Earth
as possible?
180
00:07:10,547 --> 00:07:11,964
Fuck off there!
181
00:07:15,673 --> 00:07:18,464
Are you into
spiritual epiphany and poop?
182
00:07:18,547 --> 00:07:22,255
Then come down to deck five.
It's like Woodstock down there.
183
00:07:22,339 --> 00:07:23,756
But Catholic.
184
00:07:23,839 --> 00:07:25,297
Hey, honey.
185
00:07:25,381 --> 00:07:26,422
Wow, this is--
186
00:07:26,506 --> 00:07:28,297
Have you come
to take a look at the Pope?
187
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:31,714
Some people can't see it.
But good-- good people can.
188
00:07:31,798 --> 00:07:34,631
And then, right below that,
the nostrils, you look at
189
00:07:34,714 --> 00:07:37,255
where, like, the almost
similar sized holes are.
190
00:07:37,339 --> 00:07:38,506
Honey...
191
00:07:40,172 --> 00:07:45,172
Honey, are you sure this
is a good idea? You look tired.
192
00:07:45,255 --> 00:07:48,089
-No, I'm fine. I'm-- I'm happy.
-No.
193
00:07:48,172 --> 00:07:50,798
I know what makes my Frankie
happy.
194
00:07:50,881 --> 00:07:53,714
A little light jazz,
maybe a nice box of raisins.
195
00:07:53,798 --> 00:07:56,798
Yeah, you have your thing.
Why can't I have my thing?
196
00:07:56,881 --> 00:08:00,047
Because my thing is trying
to get us all home alive,
197
00:08:00,130 --> 00:08:03,923
and your thing is proclaiming
toilet miracles hither and yon.
198
00:08:04,005 --> 00:08:05,464
Hey! Don't belittle it.
199
00:08:05,547 --> 00:08:07,631
I am not belittling it, honey.
200
00:08:07,714 --> 00:08:09,464
It just is little!
201
00:08:09,547 --> 00:08:10,506
No, it's not.
202
00:08:10,589 --> 00:08:13,923
Hey John,
did the pope heal your anxiety?
203
00:08:14,005 --> 00:08:17,464
Yeah! I took a Xanax
and I prayed right here,
204
00:08:17,547 --> 00:08:19,839
and then,
the Xanax totally worked.
205
00:08:19,923 --> 00:08:20,964
Yes, you see?
206
00:08:21,047 --> 00:08:22,798
-Sweetie--
-Shh.
207
00:08:22,881 --> 00:08:24,172
I can't listen to you now.
208
00:08:24,255 --> 00:08:27,047
I have to go help some people
who are looking at the pope
209
00:08:27,130 --> 00:08:28,798
in the wrong direction.
I have to...
210
00:08:32,422 --> 00:08:35,464
Golf. Yeah...
The sport of kings.
211
00:08:35,547 --> 00:08:37,422
I think that's horse racing.
212
00:08:37,506 --> 00:08:39,005
Who's this little guy?
213
00:08:39,089 --> 00:08:41,881
Some physical manifestation
of Judd's ego?
214
00:08:41,964 --> 00:08:42,964
It's Iris.
215
00:08:43,047 --> 00:08:44,464
That's what I said. Boom!
216
00:08:44,547 --> 00:08:46,214
Very good.
217
00:08:46,297 --> 00:08:48,422
I didn't think Judy Garland
could get more tragic.
218
00:08:48,506 --> 00:08:51,089
Trust me, I can get
a lot more tragic if I--
219
00:08:51,172 --> 00:08:52,255
Hey, guys.
220
00:08:52,339 --> 00:08:53,673
Comms are about
to come back on.
221
00:08:53,756 --> 00:08:54,964
Thank fuck.
222
00:08:55,047 --> 00:08:57,005
Are-- What are you?
Are you a spider, Matt?
223
00:08:57,089 --> 00:08:58,547
Well,
I admire their industry,
224
00:08:58,631 --> 00:09:01,089
and the fact that they play
the long game.
225
00:09:01,172 --> 00:09:04,255
Hey,
look at my abdominal ganglion!
226
00:09:05,422 --> 00:09:06,547
But there you go,
227
00:09:06,631 --> 00:09:08,547
messages from the past
eight days coming through now.
228
00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:10,547
You got a message!
229
00:09:10,631 --> 00:09:11,714
About bloody time.
230
00:09:11,798 --> 00:09:14,214
My god! Tobey Maguire died.
231
00:09:14,297 --> 00:09:16,381
Throat slit in a prison shower.
232
00:09:16,464 --> 00:09:19,047
Well, off I scuttle.
233
00:09:19,130 --> 00:09:20,714
Eight days, no comms,
234
00:09:20,798 --> 00:09:22,506
my companies
are in the shitter!
235
00:09:22,589 --> 00:09:24,297
Look at my losses, Fudd!
236
00:09:24,381 --> 00:09:25,547
Iris.
237
00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:29,047
All right, cut the breeze.
Trees, give us a second.
238
00:09:29,130 --> 00:09:31,506
Do you understand wealth?
239
00:09:31,589 --> 00:09:33,130
If this blackout has put me
in the red, Fudd,
240
00:09:33,214 --> 00:09:36,339
I will come at you like
a crocodile after a turkey leg!
241
00:09:36,422 --> 00:09:40,381
Well, I'll come after you
like an even more killy animal.
242
00:09:40,464 --> 00:09:42,506
That was really bad. We need
to work on your comebacks.
243
00:09:42,589 --> 00:09:44,964
- God.
- Problem?
244
00:09:45,047 --> 00:09:46,214
No, just, just...
245
00:09:46,297 --> 00:09:49,673
relishing the cold embrace
of an empty inbox.
246
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:52,756
- Well.
- "Smell," more like.
247
00:09:52,839 --> 00:09:54,673
You know, you don't have
to do comebacks with Ryan.
248
00:09:54,756 --> 00:09:57,089
You know, you don't have
to do comebacks with me.
249
00:09:57,172 --> 00:09:58,047
Okay, give me that.
250
00:09:58,130 --> 00:10:00,089
Do you use alcohol
to fill the chasm
251
00:10:00,172 --> 00:10:02,172
left by the absence
of fatherly love?
252
00:10:02,255 --> 00:10:03,589
Then come to happy hour!
253
00:10:03,673 --> 00:10:06,297
Five p.m.
at the Judd Sports Bar.
254
00:10:06,381 --> 00:10:08,673
Your dad won't be there.
He never is.
255
00:10:13,130 --> 00:10:14,130
Hey.
256
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:17,005
You're the woman who saved us
from space cancer.
257
00:10:17,089 --> 00:10:19,506
Yeah, and you're the comedian
who, um...
258
00:10:19,589 --> 00:10:21,756
Yeah. I didn't think
this would be your vibe.
259
00:10:21,839 --> 00:10:23,297
It isn't. No....
260
00:10:23,381 --> 00:10:25,923
The carpets are sticky
and so are the people.
261
00:10:26,005 --> 00:10:28,964
It's just a quick cut through
to engineering.
262
00:10:29,047 --> 00:10:31,589
So...
How long exactly is it
263
00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:33,422
until everyone starts eating
each other?
264
00:10:33,506 --> 00:10:34,964
No, we've got enough food
for years,
265
00:10:35,047 --> 00:10:36,464
it's just we're out
of flavorings.
266
00:10:36,547 --> 00:10:39,756
So... we're gonna
not eat each other,
267
00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:41,673
but use each other as seasoning.
268
00:10:41,756 --> 00:10:44,673
Wow, that was...
quantifiably funny.
269
00:10:44,756 --> 00:10:47,089
"Quantifiably funny."
I should put that on my posters.
270
00:10:47,172 --> 00:10:48,381
Yeah, you should.
271
00:10:49,839 --> 00:10:51,756
Can I try some
new material on you?
272
00:10:51,839 --> 00:10:53,381
Okay. Go.
273
00:10:54,923 --> 00:10:58,047
So I've got this bit
about the papal poop.
274
00:10:58,130 --> 00:11:01,339
I thought, "
the Catholic church
had already gone to shit."
275
00:11:02,047 --> 00:11:03,589
Something like that.
276
00:11:03,673 --> 00:11:05,172
-Not funny?
-Not listening.
277
00:11:05,255 --> 00:11:08,214
I gotta go.
But this has been, um...
278
00:11:08,297 --> 00:11:11,047
-Fun.
-Not fun, but... you know...
279
00:11:11,756 --> 00:11:12,964
-It happened.
-Yeah.
280
00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:14,506
Tha-- Thanks, though,
for the...
281
00:11:14,589 --> 00:11:16,756
- Let's do it again.
- ...quantifiable...
282
00:11:17,756 --> 00:11:19,381
Yeah.
283
00:11:19,464 --> 00:11:21,089
With an emergency shuttle
284
00:11:21,172 --> 00:11:24,673
ready to take
essential supplies and food
flavorings to Avenue 5,
285
00:11:24,756 --> 00:11:27,172
all eyes are on
Judd Mission Control.
286
00:11:27,255 --> 00:11:29,089
Well, this is nice.
287
00:11:29,172 --> 00:11:30,881
I'm amazed you wanted
to come out.
288
00:11:30,964 --> 00:11:32,172
We thought,
with everything going on,
289
00:11:32,255 --> 00:11:33,923
- that you might wanna--
- We have a rule
290
00:11:34,005 --> 00:11:36,172
that we don't
talk about work outside of work.
291
00:11:37,255 --> 00:11:38,756
Should we order?
Get things over with?
292
00:11:38,839 --> 00:11:41,214
Not over with.
Underway.
293
00:11:41,297 --> 00:11:42,631
Are we drinking?
294
00:11:42,714 --> 00:11:45,339
I might... treat myself
to some water.
295
00:11:45,422 --> 00:11:47,506
Water on the rocks. You guys?
296
00:11:47,589 --> 00:11:48,839
- You choose.
- The usual.
297
00:11:48,923 --> 00:11:51,547
Anger grows
as mission director Rav Mulcair
298
00:11:51,631 --> 00:11:55,339
refuses to deny that
500 non-essential passengers
299
00:11:55,422 --> 00:11:57,464
will be blasted from the ship.
300
00:11:57,547 --> 00:11:59,422
I think I might get
the jackal paws
301
00:11:59,506 --> 00:12:02,005
and cucumber snow.
302
00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:04,881
I will get the wasp tapenade,
303
00:12:04,964 --> 00:12:06,464
owls in blankets,
and some tree soup.
304
00:12:06,547 --> 00:12:09,714
With still no answers
as to whether 500 are to die,
305
00:12:09,798 --> 00:12:14,464
we ask Rav Mulcair:
does she really fucking care?
306
00:12:16,964 --> 00:12:18,631
Jim, cancel the water.
307
00:12:18,714 --> 00:12:21,047
I'll have that Mexican drink
with the finger in it.
308
00:12:21,130 --> 00:12:22,297
And a notepad.
309
00:12:22,381 --> 00:12:24,798
No, this is fun time,
not work time.
310
00:12:24,881 --> 00:12:26,881
Alan, all time is work time now.
311
00:12:26,964 --> 00:12:28,172
Actually, sod this lovely lunch.
312
00:12:28,255 --> 00:12:30,047
I'm checking on
the supply shuttle.
313
00:12:30,130 --> 00:12:32,130
I'll get some rabbit nuggets
to go.
314
00:12:32,214 --> 00:12:33,422
All right,
let's try another one.
315
00:12:33,506 --> 00:12:35,964
I need real killer comebacks
for this guy, Matt.
316
00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:38,923
-No-holds-barred type of stuff.
-That's right.
317
00:12:39,005 --> 00:12:40,464
Okay, look at me. I'm Harrison.
318
00:12:40,547 --> 00:12:42,255
-Okay.
-Right?
319
00:12:42,339 --> 00:12:45,172
Fudd. Is that your face?
320
00:12:45,255 --> 00:12:48,005
Or a rectal prolapse
with a dye job?
321
00:12:49,172 --> 00:12:50,339
And your comeback is?
322
00:12:50,422 --> 00:12:51,756
-My face.
-No.
323
00:12:51,839 --> 00:12:53,297
-No.
-It's a rectal di--
324
00:12:53,381 --> 00:12:54,881
-No. No.
-Dye job.
-Let's try it again.
325
00:12:54,964 --> 00:12:57,005
-Let's try it again.
-All right, all right.
-Okay. Okay.
326
00:12:58,005 --> 00:12:58,964
Fudd.
327
00:12:59,047 --> 00:13:00,839
-You have the voice--
-Voice.
328
00:13:00,923 --> 00:13:01,839
What?
329
00:13:01,923 --> 00:13:03,631
I was trying to anticipate
330
00:13:03,714 --> 00:13:05,798
- what Harrison might say.
- That's good.
331
00:13:05,881 --> 00:13:07,714
Hello, Fudd.
- Fudd.
332
00:13:07,798 --> 00:13:09,881
-You have the voice...
-You have the voice...
333
00:13:09,964 --> 00:13:11,756
-...of a--
-...of a castrato.
334
00:13:11,839 --> 00:13:13,631
I did not anticipate that.
335
00:13:13,714 --> 00:13:17,923
You've been chemically castrated
by your own effeminate glands.
336
00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:19,714
How did you know about that,
Harrison?
337
00:13:19,798 --> 00:13:21,130
No. Again.
338
00:13:21,214 --> 00:13:23,089
-How did you know--
-Try not to affirm
the things he says.
339
00:13:23,172 --> 00:13:24,297
Yeah.
340
00:13:24,381 --> 00:13:26,964
-All right, let me try one.
-What did Iris suggest?
341
00:13:27,047 --> 00:13:30,881
"Hey, Harrison. Are you
suffering from brain bleed?
342
00:13:30,964 --> 00:13:34,089
Don't worry. For you,
that's a minor injury."
343
00:13:38,047 --> 00:13:42,422
Okay, I like that because it's
suggesting his brain is small.
344
00:13:42,506 --> 00:13:44,589
- Yeah.
- That's wonderful. That's very--
345
00:13:44,673 --> 00:13:46,798
Right. I'll keep it quick,
you horse's arsehole.
346
00:13:46,881 --> 00:13:49,130
Your brain is--
- Now, this period without comms
has cost me--
347
00:13:49,214 --> 00:13:52,464
- If I'm a horse--
- Shut your pussyhole and listen.
This has cost me billions.
348
00:13:52,547 --> 00:13:54,714
And to prove
that I'm very serious, Fudd,
349
00:13:54,798 --> 00:13:57,089
I've hired myself a paunchy
white male to represent me.
350
00:13:57,172 --> 00:13:59,506
- You have a bad brain.
- You are served.
351
00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:01,005
Legal hat on.
352
00:14:01,089 --> 00:14:03,339
-Legal hat off, great trip.
-Thank you.
353
00:14:03,422 --> 00:14:06,381
Apart from the food flavors.
It's a lot of banana.
354
00:14:06,464 --> 00:14:09,255
Yeah, that's enough.
I will ruin you, Fudd.
355
00:14:09,339 --> 00:14:13,089
- Prepare for penury.
...small brain...
356
00:14:13,172 --> 00:14:14,297
Enjoying the cruise?
357
00:14:14,381 --> 00:14:16,255
I bet you would love
the skating rink!
358
00:14:16,339 --> 00:14:18,756
Iris, give it to me straight.
What does this mean?
359
00:14:18,839 --> 00:14:21,047
If Harrison sues,
we get no rescue money.
360
00:14:21,130 --> 00:14:22,339
So...
361
00:14:22,422 --> 00:14:24,422
Why don't we have Ryan schmooze
him at the Captain's Table
362
00:14:24,506 --> 00:14:27,047
-and talk him out of it.
-Wait, okay. Wait.
363
00:14:29,756 --> 00:14:31,422
What if...
364
00:14:31,506 --> 00:14:37,589
we have Ryan invite Harrison
to the Captain's Table
365
00:14:37,673 --> 00:14:40,047
to schmooze him out of it.
366
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:43,798
Yep. You fixed it.
367
00:14:46,005 --> 00:14:48,714
So, Doug,
do you see the pope out there?
368
00:14:48,798 --> 00:14:50,923
-Or are you on the fence?
-I'm on the fence.
369
00:14:51,005 --> 00:14:53,714
Okay, well, this
might focus you a little bit.
370
00:14:53,798 --> 00:14:55,589
Five hundred non-essential
passengers
371
00:14:55,673 --> 00:14:58,464
are not going to be
jettisoned out of the airlock.
372
00:14:58,547 --> 00:15:01,589
But, if they were,
why are you essential?
373
00:15:02,714 --> 00:15:05,214
Fuck. Yeah...
374
00:15:05,297 --> 00:15:07,381
I can... put a pencil
in my teeth
375
00:15:07,464 --> 00:15:10,547
and flick with my finger
and play the theme to Rawhide.
376
00:15:10,631 --> 00:15:13,756
Isn't it funny
what our minds produce
377
00:15:13,839 --> 00:15:15,714
-when we're panicking?
-That was just-- No, I--
378
00:15:15,798 --> 00:15:17,839
And I'm also
a generous and warm husband.
379
00:15:17,923 --> 00:15:19,464
I should've led with that.
Shit, can I go back?
380
00:15:19,547 --> 00:15:20,881
No, we have more people
to interview,
381
00:15:20,964 --> 00:15:22,798
but... I loved that.
You were great.
382
00:15:22,881 --> 00:15:24,631
Get outta here.
383
00:15:24,714 --> 00:15:27,631
... Thank god
there's not gonna be a cull
384
00:15:27,714 --> 00:15:30,339
'cause it would be bad news
for...
385
00:15:32,172 --> 00:15:33,923
Hey, Billie, comms are up.
386
00:15:34,005 --> 00:15:37,047
Yeah, I know.
Just got the rescue plan.
387
00:15:37,130 --> 00:15:39,422
Waiting for messages
from my husband and wife.
388
00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:42,089
I sent them a
"can we try again" plea.
389
00:15:42,172 --> 00:15:44,589
Cool.
Okay, so the plan.
390
00:15:44,673 --> 00:15:47,964
Firstly, Mission Control
are gonna send up
a huge docking station.
391
00:15:48,047 --> 00:15:49,047
What?
392
00:15:49,130 --> 00:15:51,547
Looks like the messages
I sent them didn't go.
393
00:15:51,631 --> 00:15:53,881
Titting Jupiter.
394
00:15:53,964 --> 00:15:57,381
I'm-- sorry about that. Um...
So, the plan?
395
00:15:58,089 --> 00:15:59,297
What is this?
396
00:15:59,381 --> 00:16:02,589
This is... a kind
of floating airport terminal
397
00:16:02,673 --> 00:16:04,589
which they send into deep space.
398
00:16:04,673 --> 00:16:07,714
We dock,
everybody gets in 500 shuttles,
399
00:16:07,798 --> 00:16:10,214
and we evac in a 48-hour window.
400
00:16:10,297 --> 00:16:12,631
And go home.
401
00:16:12,714 --> 00:16:14,673
Can you remind me
why I'd wanna go there?
402
00:16:14,756 --> 00:16:16,631
Right, well, there's--
there's a little bit more.
403
00:16:16,714 --> 00:16:19,756
Um...
So, maybe you should sit down.
404
00:16:19,839 --> 00:16:22,255
Here we go.
405
00:16:23,631 --> 00:16:26,464
You remember,
at the launch ceremony,
406
00:16:26,547 --> 00:16:29,756
that Joe paired your handprint
with the emergency console.
407
00:16:29,839 --> 00:16:31,964
And he secretly paired his own.
408
00:16:32,047 --> 00:16:34,422
But they are now in a coffin
with the rest of his corpse,
409
00:16:34,506 --> 00:16:37,631
leaving us with only one set
of hands that can now do...
410
00:16:39,631 --> 00:16:40,839
...that.
411
00:16:40,923 --> 00:16:42,381
What? You--
412
00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:49,422
You mean you want me
to dock the ship? Me?
413
00:16:49,506 --> 00:16:50,964
-And you can. You can learn.
-But--
414
00:16:51,047 --> 00:16:52,506
Because we have
three and half years.
415
00:16:52,589 --> 00:16:53,673
Is that enough time?
416
00:16:53,756 --> 00:16:55,673
Well, it usually does take five.
417
00:16:55,756 --> 00:16:56,798
Five years?
418
00:16:56,881 --> 00:16:58,422
Right, well, you see,
I noticed a difference
419
00:16:58,506 --> 00:16:59,589
between those two numbers.
420
00:16:59,673 --> 00:17:02,130
But there are some extremely
gifted candidates
421
00:17:02,214 --> 00:17:04,130
that can do it in four.
422
00:17:04,214 --> 00:17:06,297
And these extremely gifted
candidates,
423
00:17:06,381 --> 00:17:07,673
are they guys in their late 50s
424
00:17:07,756 --> 00:17:10,130
who can barely steer piss
into a toilet bowl?
425
00:17:10,756 --> 00:17:12,130
You can do this.
426
00:17:13,255 --> 00:17:14,297
I can do this?
427
00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:15,464
You can.
428
00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:21,297
-I can do it.
-Absolutely.
429
00:17:21,381 --> 00:17:23,130
You really think I can do it?
430
00:17:23,214 --> 00:17:24,589
No, you can't do it.
Who am I kidding?
431
00:17:24,673 --> 00:17:26,047
Well, you just said
that I could do it!
432
00:17:26,130 --> 00:17:28,214
Yes, I know, but I was trying
to just boost your confidence.
433
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:29,255
For three seconds.
434
00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:30,714
That's all I can muster,
I'm really sorry.
435
00:17:30,798 --> 00:17:33,214
-Well, muster more.
-Okay, look, Ryan...
436
00:17:33,297 --> 00:17:36,255
You can do this because,
quite frankly, you have to.
437
00:17:36,339 --> 00:17:38,381
-But I can't.
-But you will.
438
00:17:38,464 --> 00:17:39,464
-I will?
-You will.
439
00:17:39,547 --> 00:17:40,881
Now, say it like you mean it.
440
00:17:40,964 --> 00:17:42,214
I don't mean it. Neither do you.
441
00:17:42,297 --> 00:17:43,631
Well, can't you just pretend?
442
00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:48,673
Yeah. I can do this.
443
00:17:48,756 --> 00:17:50,381
Captain Ryan?
444
00:17:50,464 --> 00:17:52,714
You-- I'm sorry, you're--
You're in the wrong place.
445
00:17:52,798 --> 00:17:54,756
The ice rink is on
the next level.
446
00:17:54,839 --> 00:17:56,881
No, no, no. It's you
that I'm looking for.
447
00:17:56,964 --> 00:17:58,214
I need to serve you
with a notice
448
00:17:58,297 --> 00:18:00,881
for divorce proceedings.
449
00:18:00,964 --> 00:18:03,172
It's quite a working vacation
for me.
450
00:18:03,255 --> 00:18:06,130
Yeah, I gotta get back
to the rink.
451
00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:13,089
By rights, this should be
the worst moment of my life.
452
00:18:13,172 --> 00:18:15,964
But now, I have to go up
and host the Captain's Table
453
00:18:16,047 --> 00:18:18,673
and smile and be charming.
454
00:18:18,756 --> 00:18:21,464
So... that can be
the worst moment of my life.
455
00:18:23,673 --> 00:18:26,005
-You can do--!
-Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
456
00:18:27,714 --> 00:18:29,047
Alan, I need the plans
457
00:18:29,130 --> 00:18:30,506
for the emergency
supply shuttle.
458
00:18:30,589 --> 00:18:31,714
Yes.
459
00:18:31,798 --> 00:18:33,923
We've just time with a one-hour
window for a shuttle
460
00:18:34,005 --> 00:18:35,881
to bring medical supplies
and food flavorings--
461
00:18:35,964 --> 00:18:38,089
Fuck you, Rav! Fuck you, Rav!
462
00:18:38,172 --> 00:18:40,714
-Fuck you, Rav! Fuck you, Rav!
-Fuck you, Rav! Fuck you, Rav!
463
00:18:47,339 --> 00:18:50,089
We need Judd here.
He's the problem. Not me.
464
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:52,714
His face
is a giant blast shield,
465
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,631
and I intend on
cowering behind it.
466
00:18:54,714 --> 00:18:56,381
How?
467
00:18:56,464 --> 00:18:58,506
We bring him back
on the supply shuttle.
468
00:18:59,964 --> 00:19:02,381
A lost wallet was found
on level six,
469
00:19:02,464 --> 00:19:05,172
but money is essentially
useless up here,
470
00:19:05,255 --> 00:19:07,214
so we're-- we're probably
just gonna throw it out.
471
00:19:09,381 --> 00:19:11,047
He's here, he's hungry...
472
00:19:11,130 --> 00:19:12,422
- Ooh!
- Hello.
473
00:19:12,506 --> 00:19:15,464
...he's in the third person.
474
00:19:15,547 --> 00:19:18,172
Putting the "captain"
into "Captain's Table,"
475
00:19:18,255 --> 00:19:20,964
- and-- and "stable," actually.
- Yes, that's true.
476
00:19:21,047 --> 00:19:23,631
Wow.
I think for the first time ever,
477
00:19:23,714 --> 00:19:24,714
we have some no-shows.
478
00:19:24,798 --> 00:19:26,756
Best seats in the house!
You guys...
479
00:19:26,839 --> 00:19:28,798
you guys wanna fight over it?
480
00:19:28,881 --> 00:19:30,172
No, I'm good over here.
481
00:19:30,255 --> 00:19:32,673
Having dinner with my father--
Don't know why I said that.
482
00:19:32,756 --> 00:19:34,464
Hey, Billie.
You wanna join us?
483
00:19:34,547 --> 00:19:39,673
... I would love to,
but... No, I wouldn't.
484
00:19:39,756 --> 00:19:41,339
- Hey!
- All right, well...
485
00:19:41,422 --> 00:19:44,089
All the people
I wanna be with... right here.
486
00:19:44,172 --> 00:19:45,172
- Aww.
- Right?
487
00:19:45,255 --> 00:19:46,964
Best table on board!
488
00:19:47,047 --> 00:19:49,589
The real hot ticket
is the fecal pope.
489
00:19:49,673 --> 00:19:52,422
It's The Shrining. That's why
this place is so empty.
490
00:19:52,506 --> 00:19:54,339
Ryan, when are you gonna clear
491
00:19:54,422 --> 00:19:56,297
these gawping cockroaches
from my corridor?
492
00:19:57,255 --> 00:19:58,839
It's at the top of my agenda.
493
00:19:58,923 --> 00:20:01,422
It's actually above the word
"agenda."
494
00:20:01,506 --> 00:20:04,422
Thank you.
495
00:20:04,506 --> 00:20:06,631
What's, like, your best joke?
496
00:20:06,714 --> 00:20:08,506
That's subjective, really.
497
00:20:08,589 --> 00:20:10,923
'Cause that's like asking you
498
00:20:11,005 --> 00:20:13,089
... what's your favorite part
of the engine.
499
00:20:13,172 --> 00:20:14,714
-Belkron filter.
-Sure.
500
00:20:14,798 --> 00:20:17,047
This is nice. For once,
I'm not thinking about
501
00:20:17,130 --> 00:20:19,673
being stuck up here for years.
502
00:20:19,756 --> 00:20:21,047
Although, now I am.
503
00:20:21,130 --> 00:20:22,714
Surrounded in shit.
504
00:20:22,798 --> 00:20:24,756
How do they say that in Swedish?
505
00:20:27,172 --> 00:20:29,255
It's a beautiful language.
506
00:20:29,798 --> 00:20:31,881
Mike, how's the fish?
507
00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:33,381
Yeah, it's good.
508
00:20:33,464 --> 00:20:35,047
Great. And the tomatoes?
509
00:20:35,130 --> 00:20:36,964
The tomatoes are very good.
Very good.
510
00:20:37,047 --> 00:20:39,589
- Don't eat with your mouth full.
- Harrison.
511
00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:41,839
How are your tomatoes?
512
00:20:41,923 --> 00:20:44,130
Well, they're tomatoes.
What can you say about tomatoes?
513
00:20:44,214 --> 00:20:45,464
Well, I said they were good.
514
00:20:45,547 --> 00:20:46,839
Yeah, Mike said they were good.
515
00:20:46,923 --> 00:20:48,255
Great, we get action replay.
516
00:20:48,339 --> 00:20:50,005
That's... I like that.
517
00:20:50,089 --> 00:20:52,255
Wow, Captain's Table
is really, killing it
518
00:20:52,339 --> 00:20:53,631
on the conversation front.
519
00:20:53,714 --> 00:20:56,547
Tomatoes. I can't wait to hear
your opinion on the sweet corn.
520
00:20:56,631 --> 00:21:00,547
Ooh, the muscly toddler
is giving us a challenge!
521
00:21:00,631 --> 00:21:01,631
Be more interesting, Captain.
522
00:21:01,714 --> 00:21:03,047
What's happening over there?
523
00:21:03,130 --> 00:21:04,589
I think Ryan is boring him
to death.
524
00:21:04,673 --> 00:21:06,506
Boring is bad.
525
00:21:06,589 --> 00:21:09,214
But to death...
To death is good.
526
00:21:09,297 --> 00:21:12,673
Great news. I just got out
of a sexless marriage.
527
00:21:12,756 --> 00:21:14,381
Dry as a desert.
528
00:21:14,464 --> 00:21:15,964
Now I'm living on a flood plain
529
00:21:16,047 --> 00:21:18,005
with the hottest man
in the galaxy.
530
00:21:18,089 --> 00:21:20,589
She's-- She's referring
to my attractiveness
531
00:21:20,673 --> 00:21:22,589
-and not my temperature.
-No, they know.
532
00:21:24,339 --> 00:21:26,547
That's fun--
533
00:21:26,631 --> 00:21:28,130
I don't get a lot of comedy,
534
00:21:28,214 --> 00:21:31,255
but it's--
it's tragedy plus time, right?
535
00:21:31,339 --> 00:21:33,422
Yeah. But, you know...
536
00:21:33,506 --> 00:21:35,005
how much time is enough time?
537
00:21:35,089 --> 00:21:38,339
I don't know.
How much time is enough time?
538
00:21:38,422 --> 00:21:40,214
There's no punchline
to that one.
539
00:21:43,589 --> 00:21:46,297
So, Mike, Barbara,
tell us about yourselves.
540
00:21:46,381 --> 00:21:47,422
Do you have kids?
541
00:21:47,506 --> 00:21:50,631
We-- We have a son,
and it's-- it's real hard
542
00:21:50,714 --> 00:21:52,130
being away from him for so long.
543
00:21:52,214 --> 00:21:54,297
Aw, he must be missing you.
544
00:21:54,381 --> 00:21:55,381
He's in a coma.
545
00:21:55,464 --> 00:21:57,005
-What?
-The fuck?
546
00:21:57,089 --> 00:21:59,172
Comas are all in the mind.
Did you know that?
547
00:21:59,255 --> 00:22:02,464
You can literally bring yourself
out of one.
548
00:22:02,547 --> 00:22:05,714
You left your son in a coma...
549
00:22:05,798 --> 00:22:06,839
to come on holiday?
550
00:22:06,923 --> 00:22:10,130
We didn't induce the coma.
He hit the curb...
551
00:22:10,214 --> 00:22:11,172
God.
552
00:22:11,255 --> 00:22:13,047
- He was skateboard.
- Skateboarding.
553
00:22:13,130 --> 00:22:14,172
That's cool.
554
00:22:14,255 --> 00:22:15,255
- Yeah.
- What?
555
00:22:15,339 --> 00:22:17,798
He's been in a coma
for 18 months.
556
00:22:17,881 --> 00:22:20,506
We thought we'd only be here
for eight weeks.
557
00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:22,464
Are you fucking serious?
558
00:22:22,547 --> 00:22:23,923
Well, that's disrespectful.
559
00:22:24,005 --> 00:22:25,673
Yeah, well, you're the ones
drinking Mai Tai
560
00:22:25,756 --> 00:22:28,547
while your son's tubed up
like a potato clock.
561
00:22:28,631 --> 00:22:30,172
When I was younger,
I used to wonder
562
00:22:30,255 --> 00:22:31,673
what it would be like
to have a son,
563
00:22:31,756 --> 00:22:35,255
and then, suddenly,
one day, I realized I am a son.
564
00:22:35,339 --> 00:22:37,881
Fuck's sake.
"Captain's Table."
565
00:22:37,964 --> 00:22:40,631
It's got a captain and a table!
And that's it.
566
00:22:40,714 --> 00:22:44,047
And as for this food, I can't
touch this taste-free guano!
567
00:22:44,130 --> 00:22:47,297
Right!
That's it! I am fucking done!
568
00:22:47,381 --> 00:22:48,839
I'm done!
569
00:22:48,923 --> 00:22:52,214
Fuck it! There are
jauntier dinners on death row,
570
00:22:52,297 --> 00:22:54,547
and god forbid
that anybody should actually ask
571
00:22:54,631 --> 00:22:56,381
-how I'm doing!
-How are you doing?
572
00:22:59,881 --> 00:23:02,339
And you know what else
is in a coma? My marriage.
573
00:23:02,422 --> 00:23:05,631
And I've just heard that they're
gonna switch off life support.
574
00:23:06,631 --> 00:23:07,923
Thank you and good night.
575
00:23:09,047 --> 00:23:12,255
Are we fully certain he
understood the term "schmooze?"
576
00:23:12,339 --> 00:23:14,839
Do you wanna go,
check out an old pope's face
577
00:23:14,923 --> 00:23:16,047
in some excrement?
578
00:23:16,130 --> 00:23:19,964
He pushed the table forward
and he went backwards.
579
00:23:20,047 --> 00:23:22,339
Sure. I mean, you like a guy
who disrespects furniture,
580
00:23:22,422 --> 00:23:24,422
-I can do that.
-Opposite and equal.
581
00:23:24,506 --> 00:23:28,130
So, if we jettison some stuff,
we could push forward,
582
00:23:28,214 --> 00:23:30,798
past the ring--!
583
00:23:30,881 --> 00:23:33,464
All right,
our wonderful date continues.
584
00:23:36,047 --> 00:23:39,881
Hey. Nice job schmoozing,
Captain Schmooze.
585
00:23:39,964 --> 00:23:41,714
What the hell was that?
What are we gonna do?
586
00:23:41,798 --> 00:23:43,547
I know
they're just turds, honey.
587
00:23:43,631 --> 00:23:46,089
-Please help me.
-All right, baby. Okay.
588
00:23:46,172 --> 00:23:48,756
You're overheating. Just--
Let's go somewhere,
589
00:23:48,839 --> 00:23:50,172
and we'll take your shirt off.
590
00:23:50,255 --> 00:23:53,005
Hey, I see some familiar feces
in the audience tonight.
591
00:23:53,089 --> 00:23:54,923
You're improvising crap jokes.
592
00:23:55,005 --> 00:23:56,255
That's very funny, I guess.
593
00:23:56,339 --> 00:23:58,255
Thank you, but you've been
a shit audience.
594
00:23:58,339 --> 00:23:59,506
Okay, that was just
the same joke.
595
00:23:59,589 --> 00:24:01,756
Captain.
Captain, I think I got it.
596
00:24:01,839 --> 00:24:03,089
Look at them.
597
00:24:03,172 --> 00:24:05,422
They have so much hope
on their faces.
598
00:24:05,506 --> 00:24:08,422
To be a happy cretin.
599
00:24:08,506 --> 00:24:10,172
We should throw Matt
out of the airlock
600
00:24:10,255 --> 00:24:12,756
for making people panic
that they're gonna be
thrown out of the airlock.
601
00:24:12,839 --> 00:24:15,172
I think that she's implying
that we dump these vagrants
602
00:24:15,255 --> 00:24:16,964
out of the airlock.
Right, Iris?
603
00:24:17,047 --> 00:24:19,714
-No, I'm not implying that.
-Well, I'll gladly lend a hand.
604
00:24:19,798 --> 00:24:21,089
Takes me back
to my property days.
605
00:24:21,172 --> 00:24:23,589
Clearing squats...
with a cricket bat.
606
00:24:23,673 --> 00:24:28,673
We shoot stuff out of the back,
and that pushes us forward
607
00:24:28,756 --> 00:24:30,297
to break free
from the shit ring.
608
00:24:30,381 --> 00:24:32,589
Correct.
Plus, with the weight loss,
609
00:24:32,673 --> 00:24:34,255
we can dock in six months.
610
00:24:34,339 --> 00:24:36,923
I could hug you, but neither one
of us wants that.
611
00:24:37,005 --> 00:24:39,506
Hey! Listen.
Can I have your attention?
612
00:24:39,589 --> 00:24:43,047
Shuttle launch in five minutes
and counting.
613
00:24:43,130 --> 00:24:45,005
- Rav.
- Going for a walk.
614
00:24:45,089 --> 00:24:46,547
Rav, it's not safe outside.
615
00:24:46,631 --> 00:24:50,089
I walk where I please.
I can walk on you if I want.
616
00:24:50,172 --> 00:24:54,214
My friends. I confess to you now
that I see it.
617
00:24:54,297 --> 00:24:57,464
I see the importance of faith.
618
00:24:59,047 --> 00:25:01,506
- Faith in science.
- Amen.
619
00:25:01,589 --> 00:25:03,422
Science does not need faith.
It just is.
620
00:25:03,506 --> 00:25:04,798
- Rav!
- Not now!
621
00:25:04,881 --> 00:25:06,631
Also, a couple of protesters
have breached the perimeter,
622
00:25:06,714 --> 00:25:08,964
so security would like
to escort you to a safe place.
623
00:25:09,047 --> 00:25:12,297
Alan, I'm not going anywhere
until I've launched the shuttle!
624
00:25:12,381 --> 00:25:13,964
-Rav?
-Alan, I'm sorry!
625
00:25:14,047 --> 00:25:15,089
Newton's...
626
00:25:16,214 --> 00:25:18,047
Third Law...
627
00:25:18,130 --> 00:25:20,214
...states, and I quote,
628
00:25:20,297 --> 00:25:22,631
that if you throw stuff
outta the back of the ship,
629
00:25:22,714 --> 00:25:24,214
it pushes you forward.
630
00:25:24,881 --> 00:25:26,047
Ravioli, where you going?
631
00:25:26,130 --> 00:25:27,923
Alan, I'm going
to bring Judd back myself.
632
00:25:28,005 --> 00:25:29,964
Access authorized.
633
00:25:30,047 --> 00:25:31,839
I'm getting on that shuttle.
Goodbye!
634
00:25:31,923 --> 00:25:34,422
Don't do this!
You'll miss your birthday!
635
00:25:34,506 --> 00:25:39,589
There's been talk about ejecting
500 people from the ship.
636
00:25:39,673 --> 00:25:40,714
That is the talk of Satan.
637
00:25:40,798 --> 00:25:43,214
Lord, cast him out!
But not of the airlock!
638
00:25:43,297 --> 00:25:47,506
We eject the equivalent weight
of 500 people,
639
00:25:47,589 --> 00:25:51,214
and we jettison that weight,
pushing us forward
640
00:25:51,297 --> 00:25:53,130
within striking distance
of Earth
641
00:25:53,214 --> 00:25:55,381
within six months!
642
00:25:56,839 --> 00:25:58,589
-Six months!
-Hallelujah!
643
00:25:58,673 --> 00:26:00,547
- Amen!
- Amen!
644
00:26:00,631 --> 00:26:02,005
A-fucking-men!
645
00:26:02,089 --> 00:26:04,547
-You're back in the black book!
-Thank you, Harrison.
646
00:26:04,631 --> 00:26:05,839
Get fucked!
647
00:26:05,923 --> 00:26:07,005
Out of the way, poor people.
648
00:26:07,089 --> 00:26:10,130
Hey! Hello, Mr. Schmooze.
649
00:26:10,214 --> 00:26:12,506
- And I'm saying that now
unironically.
650
00:26:12,589 --> 00:26:17,381
So, non-essential items
to the hallway for jettisoning.
651
00:26:17,464 --> 00:26:20,339
You can follow my lead.
I overpacked. Come on.
652
00:26:20,422 --> 00:26:22,547
Ask yourself:
"Do I really need
653
00:26:22,631 --> 00:26:24,130
more than one pair of pants?"
654
00:26:24,214 --> 00:26:25,506
Well done, Captain.
655
00:26:26,297 --> 00:26:29,297
Thank you. Yep, I think it's...
656
00:26:29,381 --> 00:26:31,297
probably time for a drink.
657
00:26:32,047 --> 00:26:33,881
No time! We don't have time!
658
00:26:33,964 --> 00:26:36,047
That's not enough time to learn
how to dock the ship!
659
00:26:36,130 --> 00:26:38,255
Even I couldn't learn it
in six months,
660
00:26:38,339 --> 00:26:39,964
and I'm so much smarter
than you.
661
00:26:40,047 --> 00:26:42,923
-That is not enough time
to learn how to dock a ship--
-That's not enough time!
662
00:26:43,005 --> 00:26:43,881
-Six months?
-No!
663
00:26:43,964 --> 00:26:45,631
- What am I thinking?
- No! My god!
664
00:26:45,714 --> 00:26:47,673
I need years!
665
00:26:49,047 --> 00:26:51,172
Hey. What's the matter?
Why are you acting like
666
00:26:51,255 --> 00:26:52,923
a little foster child
with a secret?
667
00:26:53,005 --> 00:26:56,547
Okay, the Captain now has
only got six months
to learn how to dock the ship.
668
00:26:56,631 --> 00:26:57,964
-That is not enough time.
-What?!
669
00:26:58,047 --> 00:27:00,255
It took me longer than that
to learn how to poach an egg.
670
00:27:00,339 --> 00:27:01,422
Well, let's just hope
671
00:27:01,506 --> 00:27:03,798
that you are really,
really good with deadlines.
672
00:27:05,130 --> 00:27:07,172
The only thing I hear there
is "dead."
673
00:27:07,255 --> 00:27:10,172
You know what? I take back
what I said to you before.
674
00:27:10,255 --> 00:27:12,506
You're not Captain Schmooze.
675
00:27:12,589 --> 00:27:15,005
You're more like Captain Booze.
676
00:27:16,214 --> 00:27:17,798
- It's getting better.
- Thank you.
677
00:27:17,881 --> 00:27:19,464
Really good.
678
00:27:19,547 --> 00:27:21,673
- Seven... six... five... four...
- What's in the seat?!
679
00:27:21,756 --> 00:27:23,798
- Food flavorings.
- Right. Won't be needing those.
680
00:27:23,881 --> 00:27:25,464
...two... one.
681
00:27:25,547 --> 00:27:27,255
- Go, go, go, go, go, go!
- Launch.
51317
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