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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:09,576 D'oh! 2 00:00:10,744 --> 00:00:12,079 (grunts) 3 00:00:12,145 --> 00:00:14,147 ♪ ♪ 4 00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:23,123 I haven't seen you before. 5 00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:25,125 (shouts, blabbering) 6 00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:27,427 (muttering): Yeah, we go around‐‐ jumping, jump, jump. 7 00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,696 Oh, we bouncy ba‐‐ ha, ha. 8 00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:32,933 Release the hounds. 9 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,335 (barking) 10 00:00:44,344 --> 00:00:48,248 I'm so excited Springfield finally has a vegan restaurant. 11 00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:50,551 I thought you'd enjoy this, Lisa. 12 00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:54,054 You deserve to have the food that only you like. 13 00:00:54,121 --> 00:00:56,023 Your St. Louis‐style Baby Back Fibs, 14 00:00:56,089 --> 00:00:58,892 leg of yam and Wagyu beets. 15 00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:01,228 Dad, are you sure you're okay eating here? 16 00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:03,463 (chuckles) I can eat anything 17 00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:06,967 as long as I pretend it once had a face. 18 00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:08,969 ‐And eyes. ‐LISA: Ew. 19 00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:10,971 Why are you both kissing up to Lisa? 20 00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:13,607 (gasps) Is this her last meal? 21 00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,943 You're gonna want to look thin in your coffin, 22 00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:17,911 so I'll eat your dessert. 23 00:01:17,978 --> 00:01:20,080 Sure, have my dessert. You'll look like Dad. 24 00:01:20,147 --> 00:01:21,615 (shrieks) 25 00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:24,885 And for your information, we are not kissing up. 26 00:01:24,952 --> 00:01:27,154 By the way, Lisa, have you picked a subject yet 27 00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:30,157 for your "Most Interesting Person I Know" paper? 28 00:01:30,223 --> 00:01:31,892 Aha! Mystery solved. 29 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:34,661 Once again, the school pits parents against each other. 30 00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:37,064 Homer, you're up. Sell yourself, dude. 31 00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:40,067 Lisa, hi. Homer Simpson, longtime fan. 32 00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:42,469 Astronaut, sometime taxpayer. 33 00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:43,904 Oh, well, let's see, 34 00:01:43,971 --> 00:01:46,673 "The most interesting person I know is a white male." 35 00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:49,910 That'll go over great in today's climate. 36 00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:51,979 I hope you like blowback. 37 00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:54,715 Mom, Dad, I've made my decision. 38 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:58,785 After a lot of soul‐searching, I've decided to go with... 39 00:01:58,852 --> 00:01:59,953 (both muttering excitedly) 40 00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:01,555 Frink! I'm writing about Professor Frink. 41 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,123 Who? 42 00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:06,326 You know. "Flavin, glayvin, hoyvik." 43 00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:08,395 That Coke bottle with teeth? 44 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:12,199 He's devoted his life to helping the world through science. 45 00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:15,669 Say, uh, can you tell me if I came in second or third? 46 00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:17,704 It's best not to proceed down that road. 47 00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:21,775 Fine. Then I can end this little vegan charade. 48 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,946 ♪ ♪ 49 00:02:29,016 --> 00:02:31,718 Professor Frink, I want to thank you so much 50 00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:34,087 for letting me visit you during office hours. 51 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,089 His last visitor was the process server 52 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,058 for the monkey who's suing him. 53 00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:39,359 Um, who's this? 54 00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:41,128 Oh, well, that's Professor Hessler. 55 00:02:41,194 --> 00:02:42,396 We share the space here. 56 00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:45,565 Pay her no mind. She's in the humanities. 57 00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:46,867 (sighs) 58 00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:49,603 Professor Frink, I'd love to know 59 00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:52,039 how you got started in science. 60 00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:57,044 Oh, science? Well, I was created by science, my dear child. 61 00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:58,578 Oh. That was you? 62 00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:02,215 Oh, no, no, I was the world's second test‐tube baby. 63 00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:05,419 Yes, I‐I was greeted with far less fanfare. 64 00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:07,421 My parents had great chemistry. 65 00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:10,123 Uh, no love, but they were chemists. 66 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:13,060 The only way I could get noticed was through science 67 00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:15,429 (intensifying): and changing the pitch of my voice 68 00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:18,865 so they couldn't help but notice me. 69 00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:21,635 But I never had my breakthrough. 70 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:25,038 In a world of Einsteins, I am a James Chadwick. 71 00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:27,074 ‐LISA: Who? ‐Well, exactly. 72 00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:29,910 It's too bad your name isn't famous. 73 00:03:29,976 --> 00:03:32,379 All this will change, for I have been developing 74 00:03:32,446 --> 00:03:35,248 my own cryptocurrency. 75 00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:38,185 Oh. I have no idea what that means. 76 00:03:38,251 --> 00:03:40,454 What do they teach you at that school? 77 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,155 How to get the teachers coffee. 78 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:45,992 Yeah‐‐ A‐Anyway, I will explain cryptocurrency by clicking 79 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:51,498 a link to TV's most beloved scientist, Mr. Jim Parsons. 80 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,033 People think I'm a nerd, 81 00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,102 but I'm actually super cool. 82 00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:57,504 That's why I'm here to talk about the really cool subject 83 00:03:57,571 --> 00:04:00,140 of distributed consensus‐based cryptocurrency. 84 00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:01,742 Kachinga. 85 00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:03,376 ♪ ♪ 86 00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:10,250 Could a nerd do that? I don't think so. 87 00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:12,119 For cryptocurrency to work, we need a record 88 00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:13,954 of every transaction that occurs. 89 00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:16,990 These are recorded in what's called a distributed ledger. 90 00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:44,251 ♪ Oh, yeah. ♪ 91 00:04:44,317 --> 00:04:45,986 When you use the currency, 92 00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:48,588 the transaction is recorded in the ledger. 93 00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:52,259 (laughs) I can dig it. 94 00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:53,994 And when one ledger book gets filled up, 95 00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:56,096 we add to a "chain" of previous books. 96 00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:58,265 That's the "blockchain." 97 00:04:58,331 --> 00:04:59,599 Later, glitches. 98 00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:00,934 JIM PARSONS: If you'd like to learn more 99 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,536 about how cryptocurrencies work, 100 00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:05,305 here's everything else you need to know. 101 00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:09,042 And goodbye from me, super cool Jim Parsons. 102 00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,712 (gasps) It went in. It went in! It went in! 103 00:05:12,779 --> 00:05:16,016 It went in! It went in‐‐ You saw it! It went in! 104 00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:18,552 So will Frinkcoin finally be the invention 105 00:05:18,618 --> 00:05:20,086 that makes me rich? 106 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,555 Or will... (shouts) 107 00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:24,558 Well, uh, thank you for your support. 108 00:05:24,624 --> 00:05:27,327 Frinkcoin, the brainchild of longtime bachelor... 109 00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:30,564 of science, Professor Frink, is making a mint. 110 00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:32,933 Arnie Pye is live at the news conference. 111 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,034 I don't know why, Kent. 112 00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:35,869 With all the layoffs, they've got me, 113 00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:38,038 the traffic guy, on the science beat. 114 00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:41,007 I just found out how a helicopter flies. 115 00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:42,542 It's terrifying! 116 00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:44,411 (chuckles) Well, whatever the heck that was, 117 00:05:44,477 --> 00:05:46,546 Frinkcoin was just rated the world's most stable 118 00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:48,215 financial instrument, beating gold, 119 00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:50,917 the renminbi and roadside corn. 120 00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:53,220 Well, can't eat no cryptocurrency 121 00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:54,955 when the grid goes down. 122 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:58,458 That's why I started my hedge fund. 123 00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,727 ‐(sighs) ‐(bird caws) 124 00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:03,396 Another billionaire? How did he make his money? 125 00:06:03,463 --> 00:06:05,398 Paraffin? Castor oil? 126 00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:08,068 Whale bone corsets for the woman who dares? 127 00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:10,237 Actually, cryptocurrency. 128 00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:14,040 Oh, I know about cryptocurrency. I have it in my crypt. 129 00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:15,876 No, sir, this is a new kind of digital currency, 130 00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:17,377 based on blockchain. 131 00:06:17,444 --> 00:06:20,647 Oh, I know all about blockchain. 132 00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:26,086 Again, not what you're thinking. 133 00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:28,154 This new currency has made Professor Frink 134 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,090 the richest man in Springfield. 135 00:06:30,156 --> 00:06:34,394 Wait. Are you saying I am no longer the richest man in town? 136 00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:36,696 (sighs) I'm afraid not, Monty. 137 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,403 You have the gall to call me Monty? 138 00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:45,171 Just because you chew my food 139 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,674 makes you think we're on a first‐name basis? 140 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,809 Of course not, sir. I'll never do that again. 141 00:06:49,876 --> 00:06:52,078 I will have my dinner now. 142 00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:54,114 Lobster Thermidor. 143 00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:55,882 Start chewing. 144 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:58,118 But, sir, I‐I'm allergic to shellfish. 145 00:06:58,184 --> 00:07:01,721 And I'm not, Wayland. 146 00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:11,965 It went in‐‐ You saw it. It went in! 147 00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:14,067 (sighs) 148 00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:15,635 Hi, Professor. 149 00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:16,903 I wanted to see how you're enjoying 150 00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:19,105 your newfound fame and wealth. 151 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:22,075 He hasn't invested in deodorant. I can tell you that much. 152 00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:26,079 Well, the first ten million went to pay off student loans. 153 00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,114 S‐Strange, strange. 154 00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:31,518 I have the fame and fortune I've always desired and yet, 155 00:07:31,584 --> 00:07:35,221 I'm‐‐ well, I'm as empty as a Dewar vacuum flask. 156 00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:39,392 Well, maybe it's time to take care of yourself now. 157 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,628 What are the things that you've always wanted? 158 00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:44,698 Oh, let's see, I've always wanted one of those pens 159 00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:46,700 with the four different colors. 160 00:07:46,766 --> 00:07:48,501 I fashioned one myself, but it's, uh, 161 00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:51,805 it's a tad bit unwieldy. 162 00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:57,243 You can get those pens, and so much more. 163 00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:00,480 Do they make a silencer for his constant nasal whistle? 164 00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:03,116 (whistles) Well, you know what? 165 00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:06,553 You will never have to worry about my adenoidal hiss again. 166 00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:08,521 (whistles) 167 00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:09,956 (whistling) 168 00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,725 I can still hear it! 169 00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:14,327 He's in Chicago, for God's sake! 170 00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:17,063 Moe, Lisa has offered to pay my bar tab. 171 00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:19,366 You do accept Frinkcoin, right? 172 00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:22,369 I'll accept any currency except the Albanian lek. 173 00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:24,170 I sunk everything I had into it, 174 00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:26,973 and now I ain't got two qindarkas to rub together. 175 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,976 But that Frink, man, boy, he's sure got it made. 176 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:33,246 Yeah, I wonder what he's doing now. 177 00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:36,282 I said I wonder what he's doing now! 178 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,686 Yes, come in. 179 00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:41,955 So, are you happier? 180 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,691 No. No‐‐ I got everything I wanted. 181 00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:47,794 Even the pen. But I'm‐I'm still sad. 182 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,896 Aw, poor guy. 183 00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:51,431 ‐(gasps) ‐What? 184 00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:54,401 That's just Amazon delivery. Calm yourself. 185 00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:57,737 You should have seen poor Professor Frink, Dad. 186 00:08:57,804 --> 00:09:00,040 Poor Frink? He's the richest guy in town. 187 00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:03,309 But he's not rich in the most important thing there is. 188 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,678 Health? 189 00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:06,913 (grunting) 190 00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:08,448 Oh, yeah. 191 00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:10,917 No. The most important thing is friends. 192 00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:13,887 Dad, you should take Professor Frink to Moe's. 193 00:09:13,953 --> 00:09:16,589 Oh, I can't do that. It's like having your mother's sisters 194 00:09:16,656 --> 00:09:17,891 come for a visit. 195 00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:20,460 Actually, they're coming in 20 minutes. 196 00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:22,862 Taking Frink to Moe's. 197 00:09:22,929 --> 00:09:25,899 Never seen a fat man move so fast. 198 00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:27,434 Got a cigarette? 199 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,502 Not since we moved to Disney. 200 00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:32,906 All right, next question‐‐ Hey! Pay attention. 201 00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:36,976 Name a drink made from hops and barley. 202 00:09:37,043 --> 00:09:39,079 Barley hops? 203 00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:40,447 No. 204 00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:42,916 ‐Meryl Streep? ‐Good guess, but no. 205 00:09:42,982 --> 00:09:44,617 Uh, hey, guys, 206 00:09:44,684 --> 00:09:46,920 I was wondering if my friend Professor Frink and I 207 00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:48,788 could join you? 208 00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:50,657 All right, but we've been playing a long time. 209 00:09:50,723 --> 00:09:54,127 Don't expect to just come in and join a wall of trivia champs. 210 00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:56,863 FRINK: Well‐‐ oh, my goodness, well, no one... 211 00:09:56,930 --> 00:10:00,200 The Bay City Rollers, Ed "Too Tall" Jones, 212 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:02,202 the cronut and ring‐a‐levio, 213 00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,938 also known as ring‐o‐lario on Staten Island, 214 00:10:05,004 --> 00:10:07,440 but those people are, well, they're quite backward. 215 00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:09,943 ‐All correct. ‐(cheering) 216 00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:13,079 I'm "Too Tall" Jones, and even I didn't know the answer was me. 217 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:19,352 ‐Sir? ‐Oh, it's "sir" now, is it? 218 00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:22,355 Not "Monty" or "Queen B"? 219 00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:24,157 (chuckles) No, sir. 220 00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:26,392 And I really appreciate the long, healthy walk 221 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,061 from my new parking spot. 222 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,363 ‐(wind whooshing) ‐(bird caws) 223 00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:32,198 Get in all 10,000 steps. 224 00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:34,033 Good, the two things I can't take 225 00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:36,736 are insubordination and a slight breeze. 226 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,872 ‐(wind whooshing) ‐(groaning) 227 00:10:38,938 --> 00:10:40,940 Mm, yeah. Uh, sir, to make you the wealthiest man 228 00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:42,442 in town again, I've assembled a team 229 00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:44,978 of the greatest mathematicians and cryptographers 230 00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:46,479 to ever leave their rooms. 231 00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:49,082 They're here to develop... Burnscoin. 232 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,717 Will there be actual coins? 233 00:10:50,783 --> 00:10:52,218 If so, make sure they're made 234 00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:54,087 from something men must die mining. 235 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:57,056 Is there an ivory that comes from people? 236 00:10:57,123 --> 00:10:59,425 So, here are the programmers working on your currency. 237 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,895 And I've discovered some serious issues with this nuclear plant. 238 00:11:01,961 --> 00:11:04,831 By my calculations, the cracks in the coolant pipes 239 00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:06,599 are growing exponentially. 240 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:10,036 Smithers, give this poindexter a McKinley Rub. 241 00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:12,872 (groaning) 242 00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:15,275 Now, listen here, you magna cum losers! 243 00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,076 You are here for one reason and one reason only: 244 00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:20,647 to create a pseudo currency like the Bitcoin or the peso 245 00:11:20,713 --> 00:11:22,048 that will make me rich. 246 00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:24,484 So rich I could buy ten NFL teams. 247 00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:25,952 Not the Jets. 248 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,287 Okay, people, laptops open, 249 00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:29,289 headphones on, Red Bulls popped. 250 00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:31,124 We'll get this, Monty. 251 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,226 (steam hissing) 252 00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:35,061 Uh, I mean, I'm a sick man, sir. 253 00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:36,963 I'll get help. 254 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:40,433 Wayland, I think what you're doing comes out of anger. 255 00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,001 Are you upset with Mr. Burns? 256 00:11:42,068 --> 00:11:44,971 ‐No. ‐Please, you're safe here. 257 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,974 Oh, the things I've done for that hollow‐boned horror show! 258 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,443 That interview he did for Vanity Fair? 259 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:52,278 I wrote all his answers. 260 00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:54,781 Like he would ever spend a weekend in Santa Barbara. 261 00:11:54,847 --> 00:11:56,983 I'm the one who loves Sideways‐‐ me! 262 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,018 Does anyone have any thoughts about how Wayland 263 00:11:59,085 --> 00:12:00,253 can approach these feelings? 264 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:01,654 You? Oh, I'm sorry. 265 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,156 I‐I don't know your name yet. 266 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,792 Well, I learned in dealing with Bruce Willis that‐‐ 267 00:12:05,858 --> 00:12:07,493 (exclaims) I'm sorry! 268 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,463 Whenever I say his name I expect a phone to be thrown at me. 269 00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:11,664 ‐Christian Bale. ‐Roseanne. 270 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:12,899 ‐Jared Leto. ‐Roseanne! 271 00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:14,100 ‐Katherine Heigl. ‐Trump. 272 00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,501 ‐Trump. ‐Trump. ‐Roseanne! 273 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,170 Wayland, I'm going to write you a prescription 274 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,404 for Sychophantanyl. 275 00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:19,806 Take one every time you feel 276 00:12:19,872 --> 00:12:21,407 like saying what you really think. 277 00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:23,276 Ah, thank you. 278 00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:25,778 ‐(phone vibrates) ‐I just got a text. 279 00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:27,714 Anyone here who works for Mariah Carey, 280 00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:31,217 meet her at SoulCycle and bring a kitten... now! 281 00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:32,986 (kittens meow) 282 00:12:33,052 --> 00:12:35,188 ‐(cheering) ‐Listen, Professor, 283 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,056 why‐why are we hanging around Moe's Tavern 284 00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:38,958 when we could be somewhere good? 285 00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:40,860 Fear not, my new best friends. 286 00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,528 I will take you on a tour 287 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,897 of Springfield's finest establishments. 288 00:12:44,964 --> 00:12:46,299 Come on, let's go. It'll be joyous, 289 00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:48,301 and raucous, and other things. 290 00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:49,836 Three cheers for Frink! 291 00:12:49,902 --> 00:12:51,971 Actually, studies show that one and a half 292 00:12:52,038 --> 00:12:54,407 is the optimum number of cheers, so... 293 00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:55,842 ALL: Hip hip hooray! 294 00:12:55,908 --> 00:12:57,844 ‐Hip hip‐‐ ‐And done. 295 00:12:57,910 --> 00:12:59,746 FRINK:If you're poor and find yourself ♪ 296 00:12:59,812 --> 00:13:02,849 ♪ Outside the door, just ask me ♪ 297 00:13:02,915 --> 00:13:04,984 ♪ To buy your drink ♪ 298 00:13:05,051 --> 00:13:07,186 ♪ Hangin' with the Frink ♪ 299 00:13:09,188 --> 00:13:11,157 ♪ Clink my link, you'll swim, not sink ♪ 300 00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:13,860 ♪ Here is my pitch, come on, be rich ♪ 301 00:13:13,926 --> 00:13:15,962 ♪ Hey, what's to think ♪ 302 00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:18,998 ♪ Hangin' with the Frink ♪ 303 00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:21,467 ♪ Ah, yeah! ♪ 304 00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:23,870 This Frink has been gold peacocking all over town. 305 00:13:23,936 --> 00:13:27,006 What's taking you Slide Rule Charlies so long? 306 00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:28,875 We aren't able to create a cryptocurrency 307 00:13:28,941 --> 00:13:30,677 as powerful as the Frinkcoin. 308 00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:33,079 But... this equation, if solved, 309 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,782 could make all digital coins worthless. 310 00:13:35,848 --> 00:13:37,016 Including Frink's. 311 00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:38,284 Excellent. 312 00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:40,186 How long will it take to solve? 313 00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:42,855 Well, if we work weekends and bring in some extra help, 314 00:13:42,922 --> 00:13:44,624 I'd say 90,000 years. 315 00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:47,093 ‐Uh‐huh, uh, yeah, uh‐huh. ‐Yeah, mm‐hmm. 316 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,094 ‐Bah! ‐Ow. Ow. 317 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,295 ‐Ow. Ow. ‐Ah. 318 00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:50,530 Get out! 319 00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:52,932 (straining) 320 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,934 As for Frink, if I can't break his bank, 321 00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,636 I'll break his spirit. 322 00:13:56,703 --> 00:13:58,805 (groaning) 323 00:13:58,871 --> 00:13:59,972 (ship horn blows) 324 00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:02,475 Amazing, Professor! 325 00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,744 ‐You win again! ‐(helicopter whirring) 326 00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:08,247 (exclaims) This is my only suit of clothes! 327 00:14:08,314 --> 00:14:10,116 Ahoy‐hoy! I was in the neighborhood 328 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,918 and thought we might have a drink. 329 00:14:11,984 --> 00:14:14,087 You know, billionaire to billionaire. 330 00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:16,923 Oh, I just love champagne 331 00:14:16,989 --> 00:14:18,858 that's been in space, don't you? 332 00:14:18,925 --> 00:14:22,061 Now, listen to me, your friends don't give a whit about you. 333 00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:23,463 That is not true! 334 00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,098 Those guys are my best buddies! 335 00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:29,068 Fatso and Drunky and the evil bartender there. 336 00:14:29,135 --> 00:14:30,970 Well, think about this, Professor. 337 00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,572 The curse of wealth is that you will never, 338 00:14:32,638 --> 00:14:36,809 ever again know if anyone truly likes you. 339 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,011 Oh, my, could it be that they're, 340 00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:41,247 well, they're really just leeches? 341 00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:44,984 (grunts) 342 00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:47,453 Hmm. Mm. 343 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,288 (whistles) 344 00:14:49,355 --> 00:14:50,823 (sighs): Oh, evil and, uh... 345 00:14:55,261 --> 00:14:57,597 Frink interview, final chapter, "Happily Ever After." 346 00:14:57,663 --> 00:14:59,932 I'm just so unbelievably sad. 347 00:14:59,999 --> 00:15:00,933 I mean, is he right? 348 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,136 Do I really have no true friends? 349 00:15:05,972 --> 00:15:07,206 ROBOT: Come get some. 350 00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:09,642 Don't worry about what Mr. Burns says. 351 00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:11,611 He's a vicious old viper who knows 352 00:15:11,677 --> 00:15:13,346 nothing of the human heart. 353 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,014 Oh, and you do? 354 00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,783 Well, I've seen a lot for an eight‐year‐old. 355 00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:19,419 My parents have split up nearly a thousand times. 356 00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:22,455 My brother is a scab on society's knee. 357 00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:25,024 And every time I get a pony or make a friend, 358 00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:27,260 they get the hell out of town. 359 00:15:27,326 --> 00:15:29,028 Wow, you have lived quite a life. 360 00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:31,197 Yeah, it's not all bad. 361 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:32,965 I had a jazz friend. 362 00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:35,034 (sighs) Who died. 363 00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,202 (slurping) 364 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,937 BURNS: Here's my plan, Smithers. 365 00:15:38,004 --> 00:15:39,205 We put the equation here. 366 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:42,408 And the ingenuity of crowds will solve it for us by tomorrow, 367 00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:46,045 thus rendering all cryptocurrency worthless. 368 00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:47,213 Well, what if they don't? 369 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,848 Don't worry, Smithers. 370 00:15:48,915 --> 00:15:52,051 If this doesn't work, I'll get some of my old Yale buddies in. 371 00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:54,387 Well, they're dead and their children are dead, sir. 372 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,823 Oh, my. 373 00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:58,558 Mm? Hmm. 374 00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:00,526 Someone's gonna solve that? 375 00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:03,963 This town is so dumb, they built an indoor windfarm. 376 00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:07,867 They're so dumb, they need a recipe to make ice! 377 00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:09,502 Stay in your lane, Mel! 378 00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:11,504 You've given me no lane! 379 00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:13,372 Eh, at least it's not another billboard 380 00:16:13,439 --> 00:16:16,209 complaining about crimes I haven't solved. 381 00:16:16,275 --> 00:16:18,277 (dramatic music playing) 382 00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:30,323 Who would do this, Lou? 383 00:16:30,389 --> 00:16:32,391 Who?! 384 00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:37,497 All my life, I believed in the scientific meth‐od. 385 00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:40,666 I need proof that my friends actually are... 386 00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:42,702 (clears throat) ...uh, uh, friends. 387 00:16:42,768 --> 00:16:43,836 (door creaks) 388 00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:45,671 Hey, Professor. 389 00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:47,240 Boy, I can't wait to sit in the skybox 390 00:16:47,306 --> 00:16:49,075 for the big game today. 391 00:16:49,141 --> 00:16:50,243 I'm gonna have chicken and popcorn 392 00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:51,744 and never watch the game. 393 00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:53,646 Well, I'm so sorry, change in plans. 394 00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:55,548 You see, the skybox wasn't available, 395 00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:58,084 so I got regular tickets. 396 00:16:58,150 --> 00:16:59,719 Oh, that reminds me. 397 00:16:59,785 --> 00:17:01,020 I need to have a cyst removed. 398 00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:02,722 Now's as good a time as any. 399 00:17:02,788 --> 00:17:04,023 Yeah, and I got to be there 400 00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:05,858 to say, uh, "Do not resuscitate." 401 00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:07,059 Do resuscitate! 402 00:17:07,126 --> 00:17:09,962 Ah, uh, I really should write that down. 403 00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:14,867 (door creaks) 404 00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:18,037 All right, now, now, the experiment is not yet complete. 405 00:17:18,104 --> 00:17:19,438 Let's just see here. 406 00:17:19,505 --> 00:17:22,275 (laughter) 407 00:17:22,341 --> 00:17:24,277 Oh, Professor, you kill me! 408 00:17:24,343 --> 00:17:28,147 I never heard such a crazy bunch of nonsense talk. 409 00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:30,616 Yeah, I‐I was speaking Mandarin Chinese. 410 00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:33,286 So... this time, would one of you 411 00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:35,288 be so kind as to, uh... 412 00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:38,925 No one outsmarts ol' Gil. 413 00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:41,160 (exclaims) Ooh, hot, hot, hot! 414 00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:42,461 Cha‐cha! 415 00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:46,499 Well, that's it, from now on, 416 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:49,168 my only company will be A. I., I insist. 417 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:51,404 ROBOT: My first independent thought is 418 00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:54,373 ‐I dislike you. ‐(groans) 419 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,208 ♪ ♪ 420 00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:04,150 Oh, thank God you woke me. 421 00:18:04,216 --> 00:18:06,619 I was having a terrible dream. 422 00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:07,753 Oh, about what? 423 00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:09,622 All the awful things I've done. 424 00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:10,923 Oh, I knew you shouldn't have had 425 00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:12,558 that second blueberry at dinner, 426 00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:14,126 but this is why I brought you. 427 00:18:14,193 --> 00:18:15,995 Look, someone posted a solution on the whiteboard. 428 00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:17,763 Frink is ruined! 429 00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:19,999 ♪ ♪ 430 00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:24,103 Yarr, this problem has been speared in the head, 431 00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:26,806 hauled on the deck, and sliced up the guts, 432 00:18:26,872 --> 00:18:29,175 eh, mathematically speaking. 433 00:18:29,241 --> 00:18:30,543 Yarr. 434 00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,945 So, who found the solution? 435 00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:35,881 Did I do it? 436 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,350 No... 437 00:18:37,416 --> 00:18:38,851 Hmm, I guess we'll never know. 438 00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:40,286 The important thing is that once again, 439 00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:42,555 I am the richest man 440 00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,191 in a town of 32,000 people. 441 00:18:45,257 --> 00:18:47,693 Excellent. 442 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,762 ♪ ♪ 443 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:58,204 And so, the equation was solved. 444 00:18:58,270 --> 00:19:00,673 Solved by the one person who could solve it: 445 00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:03,109 Professor John Frink. 446 00:19:03,175 --> 00:19:04,443 End of report. 447 00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:05,978 How did you know? 448 00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:08,848 A girl learns a lot writing a second grade report. 449 00:19:08,914 --> 00:19:12,051 I knew that you'd be willing to throw away everything you had, 450 00:19:12,118 --> 00:19:14,053 because it didn't mean anything. 451 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:15,688 And I had a pretty good idea 452 00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:17,490 of what your handwriting looks like. 453 00:19:17,556 --> 00:19:20,192 Also, anyone else smart enough to solve this 454 00:19:20,259 --> 00:19:23,062 is too smart to come to Springfield. 455 00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:24,830 Well, you really understand me. 456 00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:28,067 Young lady, you are my best friend. 457 00:19:28,134 --> 00:19:29,135 Hoyvik. 458 00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:31,070 Aw, really? 459 00:19:31,137 --> 00:19:35,007 Well, beware, I lose everything I care about. 460 00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:36,942 Well, you won't lose me. 461 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,078 I'll always be right here. 462 00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:41,113 In this flash drive. 463 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:44,083 I will treasure this forever. 464 00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:45,618 (chuckling) 465 00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:47,953 I had a billion dollars‐‐ what have I done?! 466 00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:54,694 Ugh. Ten glorious days of peace. 467 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:56,462 I was able to finish my dissertation. 468 00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:59,065 Losing a billion dollars means nothing 469 00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:01,600 as long as I see you again. 470 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:07,339 Are we gonna do this? 471 00:20:07,406 --> 00:20:08,474 (grunts) 472 00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:09,975 (both moaning) 473 00:20:11,977 --> 00:20:13,579 (nose whistling) 474 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:17,183 (moaning continues) 475 00:20:17,249 --> 00:20:19,218 ♪ ♪ 476 00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:23,289 ♪ Thanks for the currency ♪ 477 00:20:23,355 --> 00:20:25,491 ♪ All my dollar bills ♪ 478 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:28,260 ♪ Piled up to the hills ♪ 479 00:20:28,327 --> 00:20:30,529 ♪ Ruble, pound, or Deutschmark ♪ 480 00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:33,766 ♪ You all give me such thrills. ♪ 481 00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:37,136 Didn't I fight alongside you in the war? 482 00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:39,271 Um, we weren't on the same side, 483 00:20:39,338 --> 00:20:41,841 but I was there. (chuckles) 484 00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:46,178 Ooh, much better. 485 00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:48,314 ♪ Thanks ♪ 486 00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:50,649 ♪ For the currency ♪ 487 00:20:50,716 --> 00:20:52,752 ♪ We watched it rise and fall ♪ 488 00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:55,054 FRINK:But we both had a ball ♪ 489 00:20:55,121 --> 00:20:57,656 BOTH:We made this song so long ♪ 490 00:20:57,723 --> 00:21:00,126 ♪ It spilled into the crawl. ♪ 491 00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:02,094 FRINK: Hoyvik. 492 00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:23,716 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 493 00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,756 Shh! 36347

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