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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:24,857
First day of unemployment.
3
00:00:24,859 --> 00:00:27,159
More like funemployment!
4
00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:28,726
[LAUGHS HEARTILY]
5
00:00:28,728 --> 00:00:30,162
[FANFARE BLOWS]
6
00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:32,796
[SCREAMS] I wanna die!
7
00:00:32,798 --> 00:00:35,034
Best day ever!
8
00:00:35,036 --> 00:00:36,302
Ugh.
9
00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:39,404
Blood Haven Thrill Park. Such memories.
10
00:00:39,405 --> 00:00:41,840
- Jesus, Bane!
- I almost blew that place up,
11
00:00:41,841 --> 00:00:44,143
but then I rode the Cyclotron
12
00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:47,111
and thought, "I get it. This is fun".
13
00:00:47,112 --> 00:00:49,013
Do ya need somethin'?
I'm kinda busy here.
14
00:00:49,015 --> 00:00:50,517
You don't look busy.
15
00:00:50,518 --> 00:00:53,886
You look like you're
Insta-stalking your ex-crew.
16
00:00:53,888 --> 00:00:57,312
Not very healthy. Slippery slope.
17
00:00:57,314 --> 00:00:59,104
Gah. Can ya believe they ditched me?
18
00:00:59,106 --> 00:01:01,675
I made one little mistake
and they just... they bolt.
19
00:01:01,676 --> 00:01:03,409
After everything I did for them.
20
00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:05,379
Um. You could blow them up?
21
00:01:05,380 --> 00:01:06,412
Nah, not really my thing.
22
00:01:06,413 --> 00:01:07,679
I could blow them up?
23
00:01:07,681 --> 00:01:09,715
Nah. Argh! Looks like both of us
24
00:01:09,717 --> 00:01:11,350
will be spending the weekend alone.
25
00:01:11,351 --> 00:01:14,652
No, I'm going to Black
Manta's beach lair.
26
00:01:14,654 --> 00:01:16,855
He's smoking a pork shoulder.
27
00:01:16,857 --> 00:01:21,527
I... take it you didn't get the invite?
28
00:01:21,529 --> 00:01:24,929
Um, maybe check your spam folder?
29
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[DOOR SLAMS SHUT]
30
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[ENGINE WHIRRING]
31
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[SY SNORING]
32
00:01:38,308 --> 00:01:41,308
_
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[SIGHS]
34
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I don't think she's going to respond.
35
00:01:47,020 --> 00:01:48,221
Hey, sane me.
36
00:01:48,223 --> 00:01:51,322
Also, the LOL felt a little sweaty.
37
00:01:51,324 --> 00:01:53,404
Yeah, I went back and forth on that.
38
00:01:53,406 --> 00:01:54,995
Where are all your friends?
39
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Just kidding. I know. They left you.
40
00:01:57,221 --> 00:01:59,149
What? You just came outta
the phone to shit on me?
41
00:01:59,151 --> 00:02:00,919
I'm here to help you.
42
00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:03,488
Look, you messed up a bunch
of important relationships,
43
00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:05,124
but there's still someone
44
00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:07,526
who is always going to
love you unconditionally.
45
00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:09,894
Someone who always
manages to comfort you.
46
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She's not even responding to my texts.
47
00:02:11,866 --> 00:02:14,163
Ivy's definitely not gonna wanna see me.
48
00:02:14,165 --> 00:02:16,665
I wasn't talking about Ivy.
49
00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:24,543
[GASPS]
50
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[BELL DINGING]
51
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Hi, Mom.
52
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[OPENING THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
53
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♪ Togetherness... ♪
54
00:02:33,388 --> 00:02:37,388
♪ Is one thing that drives you
through life and love ♪
55
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♪ Will always steer you right ♪
56
00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:42,894
♪ All you need is to hear their voices ♪
57
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♪ Of really good family
and really good choices ♪
58
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♪ And you want another,
especially your brother! ♪
59
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:05,084
Hey! You're up, sleepyhead.
60
00:03:05,086 --> 00:03:06,685
- [GUS CHUCKLES]
- [POISON IVY GRUNTING]
61
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,954
[GUS] You've probably
got the usual questions.
62
00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:10,746
- Where am I?
- Exactly.
63
00:03:10,748 --> 00:03:13,222
[MOCKINGLY] Where am I?
What are you doing to me?
64
00:03:13,224 --> 00:03:14,425
Why are you so handsome?
65
00:03:14,427 --> 00:03:15,727
[LAUGHS]
66
00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:17,495
Y'know, that's just me playin'.
67
00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:18,555
Uh, but actually,
68
00:03:18,557 --> 00:03:20,232
I don't have the answers
to any of these questions.
69
00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:22,501
I'm just a low-level goon.
70
00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:23,668
Hey! I got an idea.
71
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:25,371
Why don't you just let me go?
72
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:26,472
Honestly, I'd consider it,
73
00:03:26,473 --> 00:03:28,340
but I need this job.
74
00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:30,043
I'm actually a kindergarten teacher.
75
00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:33,276
Just sidegooning to make some
extra moolah for art supplies.
76
00:03:33,278 --> 00:03:34,781
You know what, if you let me go
77
00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:36,148
I'll double what you're making.
78
00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:38,382
I mean, I'll get you construction paper.
79
00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:40,217
Like, those crazy smelly markers...
80
00:03:40,218 --> 00:03:42,155
Ah, geez, that's so nice.
81
00:03:42,156 --> 00:03:45,525
But if I did, I'd drop to
three stars on Goon Review.
82
00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:46,925
They say that's all you need,
83
00:03:46,926 --> 00:03:49,359
but once you drop
below four, you're dead.
84
00:03:49,361 --> 00:03:51,896
Okay, so I will be getting out of here.
85
00:03:51,897 --> 00:03:54,399
So if you're not the one
who's gonna let me out,
86
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:55,699
I will have to kill you first.
87
00:03:55,701 --> 00:03:58,637
Ooh, that really took a turn, didn't it?
88
00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:00,436
Well, honestly, we're harvesting you
89
00:04:00,438 --> 00:04:01,539
in two days, so...
90
00:04:01,540 --> 00:04:02,639
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
91
00:04:02,641 --> 00:04:04,174
Oh. Oh, God. I gotta take this.
92
00:04:04,176 --> 00:04:05,978
[WHISPERING] It's a
parent from the school.
93
00:04:05,980 --> 00:04:08,044
[CELL PHONE BEEPS] Hey, Mrs. Kirshen.
94
00:04:08,046 --> 00:04:09,448
Uh, little Kendall
95
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:11,615
told a rather grown-up
joke at share time.
96
00:04:11,616 --> 00:04:14,008
- [DOOR SLAMS]
- Well, it was
97
00:04:14,010 --> 00:04:18,245
"What did one potato say
to the other potato? Idaho".
98
00:04:18,247 --> 00:04:19,415
Oh, gee, hold on, wait.
99
00:04:19,417 --> 00:04:21,395
No, I forgot to say "one
of the potatoes is a whore".
100
00:04:21,396 --> 00:04:23,946
[LAUGHS] Oh, God.
101
00:04:27,132 --> 00:04:29,132
[WIND BLOWING]
102
00:04:29,134 --> 00:04:32,434
[VIBRATO INTENSIFYING]
103
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,812
Hey! So, I need your help, okay?
104
00:04:41,814 --> 00:04:43,248
- [MEEPING]
- Go find Frank...
105
00:04:43,249 --> 00:04:45,832
... and tell him to get
Harley to come rescue me.
106
00:04:45,833 --> 00:04:46,833
[MEEPING]
107
00:04:50,326 --> 00:04:52,893
So, yeah, I get into Legion of Doom
108
00:04:52,894 --> 00:04:54,878
and next thing I know she doesn't
wanna be friends anymore!
109
00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,263
Well, I'd be in your
crew any day, sweetie.
110
00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:58,459
Ya know, sometimes
111
00:04:58,461 --> 00:05:01,497
I use the express line when
I have more than 12 items.
112
00:05:01,499 --> 00:05:04,168
Aw, yeah, that's truly evil of ya, Ma.
113
00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:06,805
Listen, you know, I know I ain't
called ya in a few months...
114
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:07,873
Thirty-six months.
115
00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:09,131
Right. Yes. You know,
116
00:05:09,133 --> 00:05:12,244
it's just... I got swept up
in my relationship with Joker,
117
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:14,045
and then my breakup with Joker.
118
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:17,182
Yeah, I saw that on Howie,
may he rest in peace.
119
00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:20,418
Anyway, I'm sorry. I
shoulda stayed in touch.
120
00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,791
[GROANS] I missed ya, Ma.
121
00:05:22,793 --> 00:05:25,392
Well, if ya were around more
ya wouldn't miss me so much.
122
00:05:25,393 --> 00:05:28,593
Maybe ya could move back,
be a psychologist again?
123
00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:32,163
Maybe make that "life of crime"
thing more of a weekend deal?
124
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:35,300
Ma! Ma, the Legion of Doom
isn't a weekend kinda thing.
125
00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:36,768
Okay. Well, it's an option.
126
00:05:36,769 --> 00:05:38,569
The one your only Mom likes the most.
127
00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:40,005
I'm just glad you're home.
128
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,473
You... you kept this trophy?
129
00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:43,307
I know ya wanted us to throw it away,
130
00:05:43,309 --> 00:05:44,743
but I just couldn't do it.
131
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:48,380
Still so proud of ya.
Even after what happened.
132
00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:50,380
[ANNOUNCER] Next on the floor exercise,
133
00:05:50,382 --> 00:05:51,850
Harleen Quinzel.
134
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,752
Okay, this is it, Dad.
If I nail this routine,
135
00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:55,319
I'll be the national champ.
136
00:05:55,321 --> 00:05:56,654
Probably go to the Olympics,
137
00:05:56,656 --> 00:05:57,956
get lots'a endorsements,
138
00:05:57,958 --> 00:05:59,723
maybe be the first woman president.
139
00:05:59,725 --> 00:06:02,026
Great, great. So, um...
140
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,928
I'm gonna need ya to take a dive.
141
00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:06,463
- What?
- I owe a bunch of money to my bookie.
142
00:06:06,465 --> 00:06:07,598
I bet against ya.
143
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:08,801
You're the heavy favorite.
144
00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:11,670
So, if ya lose I keep
all nine of my fingers.
145
00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:13,323
But this is my dream.
146
00:06:13,325 --> 00:06:17,425
You'll have other dreams.
Come on, do it for me.
147
00:06:20,245 --> 00:06:23,545
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
148
00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:30,221
- [CROWD CHEERING]
- [ANNOUNCER] Stunning performance by Quinzel.
149
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:34,358
I mean, she's got this in the bag.
150
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:35,392
[CROWD CHEERING]
151
00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:37,894
You're killin' me, Harleen.
152
00:06:49,408 --> 00:06:51,908
Ooh! A costly mistake.
153
00:06:51,910 --> 00:06:54,312
Oh. Thank you, sweetie. Thank you.
154
00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:55,545
You saved my life.
155
00:06:55,547 --> 00:06:56,714
Also, let's be honest,
156
00:06:56,715 --> 00:06:59,550
there ain't never gonna
be a lady president anyway.
157
00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:02,788
[HARLEY GRUNTING]
158
00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:04,389
I hate you.
159
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:07,625
[YELLS] I wanna kill you!
160
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,360
That was my worst day.
161
00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:12,764
Ugh, I'm glad that son
of a bitch is rottin' in jail.
162
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,766
[NICK] Hey, sweetie.
163
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:20,005
He got out and we
kinda got back together.
164
00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:22,673
Why? He broke every
promise he ever made!
165
00:07:22,675 --> 00:07:24,675
And he apologized for that
166
00:07:24,677 --> 00:07:26,944
and made a whole bunch of new ones!
167
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:29,880
Plus, he made me this
beautiful bracelet in jail.
168
00:07:29,882 --> 00:07:34,286
It's water resistant, up to 50 meters.
169
00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:36,553
[FRANK THE PLANT]
People shit on the WNBA,
170
00:07:36,555 --> 00:07:37,923
but I'm a purist.
171
00:07:37,925 --> 00:07:39,956
Get those dunks the fuck outta my face.
172
00:07:39,958 --> 00:07:42,327
Give me a nice crisp bounce pass.
173
00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:44,597
That's my shit. I'm more
about the fundamentals!
174
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:45,930
[MEEPING]
175
00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:47,331
Do not interrupt me.
176
00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:50,234
You're a dandelion weed.
I'm a grown ass plant.
177
00:07:50,235 --> 00:07:51,269
[MEEPING]
178
00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:53,005
- What? Ivy's in a well...
- [MEEP]
179
00:07:53,007 --> 00:07:54,471
- ... guarded prison?
- [MEEP]
180
00:07:54,473 --> 00:07:55,906
- Ivy's been captured...
- [MEEP]
181
00:07:55,908 --> 00:07:57,276
- at PlanetWide Pavers...
- [MEEP]
182
00:07:57,278 --> 00:07:58,843
- and needs me to find Harley...
- [MEEP]
183
00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:00,232
- in Bensonhurst...
- [MEEP]
184
00:08:00,233 --> 00:08:01,914
- to rescue her?
- Am I super baked
185
00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:04,316
or are two plants talking
to each other right now?
186
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,317
Chaz, you gotta drive me to Brooklyn.
187
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,589
[COUGHING]
188
00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:14,324
Honey, a birdie just told me
the dentist down the street
189
00:08:14,326 --> 00:08:15,894
just got divorced.
190
00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:18,897
Tallest Jew I've ever
seen. I could introduce ya.
191
00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:20,666
No, Ma. Can ya pass me the peas?
192
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,202
They're right next
to that piece of shit.
193
00:08:22,203 --> 00:08:25,303
Oh, Harleen, come on! Talk to me.
194
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:28,771
Hasn't been a day gone by I
haven't regretted what I did.
195
00:08:28,773 --> 00:08:30,841
Oh. How about a week
after the championship
196
00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:33,043
when ya bought a Trans
Am with the extra money?
197
00:08:33,045 --> 00:08:35,047
Okay, I didn't regret that.
198
00:08:35,049 --> 00:08:37,914
But on the whole,
though, a lotta regret.
199
00:08:37,916 --> 00:08:39,384
I'm reformed now.
200
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:42,321
Huh? Haven't placed a single bet since.
201
00:08:42,323 --> 00:08:44,255
Oh, then why were ya sent to jail?
202
00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:45,348
Eh, the usual.
203
00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:48,125
Almost beat an Irish to death.
Nothing to do with gamblin'.
204
00:08:48,127 --> 00:08:50,697
The Irish are a menace.
They're like rats, honey.
205
00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:51,731
He's the rat.
206
00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:53,265
You ain't changed one bit.
207
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:55,400
I never woulda come back home
if I'd known ya were here.
208
00:08:55,401 --> 00:08:57,668
I just wanna be with people who love me.
209
00:08:57,670 --> 00:09:00,072
Like Ma, Grandma, Barry...
210
00:09:00,074 --> 00:09:03,539
Aw, Harleen, I am so
sorry for what I did.
211
00:09:03,541 --> 00:09:04,841
I'm hopin' you'll forgive me
212
00:09:04,843 --> 00:09:07,514
'cause I'll never be
able to forgive myself.
213
00:09:07,516 --> 00:09:10,447
What do ya say, sweetheart?
214
00:09:10,449 --> 00:09:12,085
Beautiful.
215
00:09:12,087 --> 00:09:13,985
Fuck you.
216
00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:16,354
Least the lines of
communication are opening.
217
00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:17,620
That's a start.
218
00:09:17,622 --> 00:09:19,889
Let's just have a nice dinner, huh?
219
00:09:19,891 --> 00:09:23,226
Grandma's really happy to see you.
220
00:09:23,228 --> 00:09:24,529
It's true.
221
00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:27,163
I don't know how many of
these dinners I've got left.
222
00:09:27,165 --> 00:09:28,633
What do ya mean, Grandma?
223
00:09:28,635 --> 00:09:31,500
Well, I went to the doctor last week.
224
00:09:31,502 --> 00:09:32,827
I got the brain cancer.
225
00:09:32,829 --> 00:09:34,384
- Aah!
- Whoa!
226
00:09:34,386 --> 00:09:36,991
Jesus! That's an aggressive
form of brain cancer.
227
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:39,814
[YELLS] Someone's tryin'
to kill us, ya idiot.
228
00:09:39,816 --> 00:09:41,316
[GUNSHOTS]
229
00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:47,952
[DOOR CREAKING]
230
00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:49,755
[DOOR SLAMS]
231
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:05,669
[BOTH GRUNTING]
232
00:10:05,670 --> 00:10:07,631
- All right, who ya workin' for?
- [GROANS]
233
00:10:07,633 --> 00:10:10,841
[COUGHING]
234
00:10:10,843 --> 00:10:13,144
[GUNSHOT]
235
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,880
Dad! The fuck are ya doin'?
236
00:10:14,882 --> 00:10:16,313
He killed Grandma.
237
00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:18,250
I mean, she was gonna
die shortly anyway,
238
00:10:18,252 --> 00:10:20,283
but that was God's trigger to pull.
239
00:10:20,285 --> 00:10:22,986
Well, they say, "He
works in mysterious ways".
240
00:10:22,988 --> 00:10:24,856
God doesn't send assassins, Ma.
241
00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:27,692
I was about to find out who sent
this bastard here to kill me.
242
00:10:27,694 --> 00:10:30,428
Oh, he wasn't here to kill you.
243
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:33,430
He's here to kill me.
244
00:10:34,266 --> 00:10:36,902
This is your fault.
You've been gamblin' again.
245
00:10:36,904 --> 00:10:38,404
No! I told ya.
246
00:10:38,406 --> 00:10:41,773
Look, it's been hard times.
We were scrapin' by.
247
00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:43,140
I tried to get into real estate,
248
00:10:43,141 --> 00:10:45,410
but do ya know how
much a pant suit costs?
249
00:10:45,411 --> 00:10:47,180
- Three figures!
- Oh, Sharon, please.
250
00:10:47,181 --> 00:10:48,812
Look, I took out a loan
251
00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:50,782
from the only mooks that'd give me one.
252
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:53,518
The M-O-B. That spells...
253
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,054
I know what it spells, Ma.
254
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:56,987
Look, if you were in trouble,
why didn't ya call me?
255
00:10:56,988 --> 00:10:58,789
I didn't wanna waste your minutes.
256
00:10:58,790 --> 00:11:01,259
None of this is your problem, Harleen.
257
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:03,995
I'll talk to the mob,
try to reason with them.
258
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,731
They're famous for bein' reasonable.
259
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:08,164
They'll kill ya, Nicky!
260
00:11:08,166 --> 00:11:10,269
Then at least the last
memory you'll have of me
261
00:11:10,271 --> 00:11:13,971
is finally doin' the right thing.
262
00:11:13,973 --> 00:11:15,274
All right, stop!
263
00:11:15,276 --> 00:11:17,274
[GROANS] I'm comin'.
264
00:11:17,276 --> 00:11:19,464
You're gonna stick up for your old man?
265
00:11:19,466 --> 00:11:20,803
Hell, no.
266
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,213
I just know when ya fuck this up,
267
00:11:22,214 --> 00:11:23,774
they'll kill Ma next.
268
00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:27,085
[MOBSTER 1] Aye!
269
00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:29,429
[MOBSTER 2 CHUCKLES] Ooh!
270
00:11:29,431 --> 00:11:30,484
Gabbagool!
271
00:11:30,486 --> 00:11:32,793
All great suggestions for
things we need'a stop sayin'.
272
00:11:32,794 --> 00:11:35,293
Otherwise we're just
feedin' a harmful stereotype.
273
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,850
What are you doing? Slap ya in the face.
274
00:11:36,852 --> 00:11:39,062
What are you doing? Get that
out of your face. What is this?
275
00:11:39,064 --> 00:11:40,231
Hey, guys.
276
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:42,932
I realize I owe you a buncha money,
277
00:11:42,934 --> 00:11:45,534
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
but I'm wonderin'...
278
00:11:45,536 --> 00:11:46,937
- [GRUNTS]
- [GROANS]
279
00:11:46,939 --> 00:11:49,407
Which one of ya meatballs
killed my grandma?
280
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,476
Whoa! Holy shit!
281
00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:52,677
You're Harley Quinn.
282
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:53,768
That's right.
283
00:11:53,770 --> 00:11:56,880
So either forgive my dad's
debt or I kill all of ya.
284
00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:58,917
That ain't how our business works.
285
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,985
Yeah. It's based on loans
286
00:12:00,987 --> 00:12:02,952
and the interest
attached to those loans.
287
00:12:02,954 --> 00:12:04,657
We're servicing a
sector of the community
288
00:12:04,659 --> 00:12:06,990
traditionally ignored
by the financial sector.
289
00:12:06,992 --> 00:12:09,861
Yeah! Bensonhurst is
our turf and I'm not...
290
00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:11,869
- [GRUNTS]
- ... gonna ever be able to
291
00:12:11,871 --> 00:12:13,698
chew veal parm again?
292
00:12:13,699 --> 00:12:15,456
- You fuggin' bitch.
- Hey! Whoa, whoa.
293
00:12:15,458 --> 00:12:17,634
We can be respectful while killing her.
294
00:12:17,636 --> 00:12:19,587
Get her boys!
295
00:12:30,949 --> 00:12:34,253
Harleen! Front-sault!
296
00:12:34,255 --> 00:12:37,120
[GRUNTS]
297
00:12:37,122 --> 00:12:40,557
Arabian Double Front!
298
00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:42,558
[EFFORT GRUNT]
299
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:44,062
[MOANS]
300
00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:46,697
Backwards salto!
301
00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:48,599
I said backwards!
302
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:53,071
[GRUNTS]
303
00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:56,274
[CHUCKLES] Stuck the landing, kiddo.
304
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,354
Oh, I never shoulda
305
00:12:57,356 --> 00:12:59,494
made you lose that
championship, Harleen.
306
00:12:59,496 --> 00:13:02,481
Seeing ya do that routine perfectly
307
00:13:02,483 --> 00:13:05,884
is better than any dumb 'ol finger.
308
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:07,183
I don't know about perfect.
309
00:13:07,185 --> 00:13:10,187
I mean stumbled a little on the landing.
310
00:13:10,189 --> 00:13:13,389
[DOOR OPENS]
311
00:13:13,391 --> 00:13:14,742
Get down!
312
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:23,567
[GRUNTING]
313
00:13:23,569 --> 00:13:27,038
[GROANS]
314
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,341
Ugh. In case you're wonderin',
315
00:13:29,343 --> 00:13:33,843
[GASPS] I'm givin' ya a
double thumbs up, champ.
316
00:13:36,718 --> 00:13:37,718
Oh...
317
00:13:37,719 --> 00:13:40,018
Pollinate me harder...
318
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:41,086
[MOANS]
319
00:13:41,088 --> 00:13:44,022
That's all you got? [MOANS]
320
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:46,289
Oh... Wh...
321
00:13:46,291 --> 00:13:48,759
Where the hell are we? Chaz!
322
00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:51,697
- Car, car, car! Start the car!
- [ENGINE REVVING]
323
00:13:51,699 --> 00:13:54,063
- They're coming, let's move it!
- [GUNSHOTS]
324
00:13:54,065 --> 00:13:57,168
Get down! [SCREAMS]
325
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,702
What the fuck is goin' on?
326
00:13:58,704 --> 00:14:00,303
I thought you were just a weed dealer.
327
00:14:00,305 --> 00:14:01,740
Weed's legal everywhere, man.
328
00:14:01,742 --> 00:14:04,976
I'm diversifying into
hallucinogenic honey.
329
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:07,245
Time to GTFO 'ah May-hico.
330
00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:10,081
Mexico? We're supposed
to be in Brooklyn.
331
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:12,582
Which is basically next to Mexico.
332
00:14:12,584 --> 00:14:15,187
Stop lickin' that goddamn
honey and drive this car.
333
00:14:15,189 --> 00:14:17,422
One lick ya see God.
334
00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:21,926
Two licks and ya pass out
with a giant hard... [SNORING]
335
00:14:21,928 --> 00:14:23,529
Goddammit, Chaz!
336
00:14:23,531 --> 00:14:25,731
Okay, Frank, you've got this.
337
00:14:25,733 --> 00:14:29,033
- I'm coming, Harley.
- [BRAKES SCREECH]
338
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:32,803
Wow. Harley has been texting nonstop.
339
00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:35,307
This last one says she
feels "ducking awful".
340
00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:37,375
[WHISPERING] I think
she meant the F word.
341
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:40,061
"I'm super sorry. I made a mistake.
342
00:14:40,063 --> 00:14:43,114
I never wanted to hurt you.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
343
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:45,015
Don't buy those boots".
344
00:14:45,016 --> 00:14:46,552
[SIGHS] Well, she's right about that.
345
00:14:46,554 --> 00:14:48,285
I don't think you can
pull off a kitten heel.
346
00:14:48,286 --> 00:14:49,856
You know what? I bought them,
but I returned them. Okay?
347
00:14:49,857 --> 00:14:51,957
I agree with you. I'm, like,
not a kitten heel person.
348
00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:53,259
Can I just... Can I have my phone,
349
00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:55,051
so I can... I can text her goodbye?
350
00:14:55,053 --> 00:14:58,096
Feels like you're gonna
ask her to come save you.
351
00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,765
Gus, are you serious?
352
00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:01,933
You really think I would do
something like that to you?
353
00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:03,402
We have built a rapport.
354
00:15:03,404 --> 00:15:05,836
Mmm, yeah. I've seen a
lot of toxic friendships
355
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:09,173
and the best thing to do
is to just cut them loose.
356
00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:11,610
Let me rip that band-aid off for you.
357
00:15:11,612 --> 00:15:13,009
No, no. Don't, don't, don't, don't.
358
00:15:13,011 --> 00:15:14,312
Oh. Okay.
359
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:15,812
And now I'll text her back.
360
00:15:15,814 --> 00:15:17,481
Oh, shit.
361
00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:20,112
Oh! Ya shoulda seen my daughter.
362
00:15:20,114 --> 00:15:22,485
Doin' cartwheels, stabbin'
guys in the throat.
363
00:15:22,487 --> 00:15:25,023
Ah. Oh, I was so proud.
364
00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:27,259
Dad, ya... ya saved my life.
365
00:15:27,261 --> 00:15:29,360
Which is very un-piece of shit like.
366
00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:31,961
I'm tellin' ya, your father's changed.
367
00:15:31,963 --> 00:15:34,331
He gave his good thumb for you.
368
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:37,735
Worth it for my daughter. [CHUCKLES]
369
00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:40,370
[GRIMACING]
370
00:15:40,372 --> 00:15:42,941
Ugh, thumbs are overrated.
371
00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:44,576
I love you.
372
00:15:44,578 --> 00:15:48,010
It's been so nice havin' ya here, honey.
373
00:15:48,012 --> 00:15:49,812
Sad to see ya go tomorrow.
374
00:15:49,814 --> 00:15:52,214
[CELL VIBRATING]
375
00:15:55,987 --> 00:15:57,489
I don't know. [EXHALES]
376
00:15:57,491 --> 00:15:59,512
There's nobody really
waitin' for me in Gotham.
377
00:15:59,514 --> 00:16:01,238
I came here hopin' to
spend some time with Ma,
378
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:04,327
but actually kind of glad we
could all be here together.
379
00:16:04,329 --> 00:16:05,630
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
380
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,298
There she is.
381
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:09,668
- Grandpa?
- Well,
382
00:16:09,670 --> 00:16:12,836
I heard you were in
town and Grandma's dead.
383
00:16:12,838 --> 00:16:14,639
Two reasons to celebrate.
384
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:17,875
Also, got a checkup
at the doc yesterday.
385
00:16:17,877 --> 00:16:20,278
Says my blood pressure's
through the roof.
386
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:23,212
[INHALES] Not sure
how much longer I got.
387
00:16:23,214 --> 00:16:25,216
So let's drink.
388
00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:26,918
[GRUNTS]
389
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:29,187
That blood pressure's no joke!
390
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:30,539
[CRASHES]
391
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:37,861
[GRUNTING]
392
00:16:37,863 --> 00:16:39,832
[HARLEEN] Ha!
393
00:16:39,834 --> 00:16:42,100
[BOTH GRUNTING]
394
00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:44,503
Oh, my God!
395
00:16:44,505 --> 00:16:46,937
Jesus! The mob's never gonna stop.
396
00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:49,508
But as long as I'm here, I'm
gonna keep my family safe.
397
00:16:49,510 --> 00:16:50,975
- [GUNSHOT]
- [GROANS]
398
00:16:50,977 --> 00:16:54,644
[MOANING]
399
00:16:54,646 --> 00:16:55,711
Dad?
400
00:16:55,713 --> 00:16:57,414
[GROANING]
401
00:16:57,416 --> 00:17:00,686
Harleen, honey. I'm sorry.
402
00:17:00,688 --> 00:17:03,654
There was a million dollar bounty on ya.
403
00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:05,958
I didn't wanna have to kill ya myself,
404
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:09,461
so I tipped off an assassin
to collect a finder's fee.
405
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:10,493
Big whoop!
406
00:17:10,495 --> 00:17:11,763
But ya couldn't do it!
407
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:13,292
Could you, you fucking piece of shit?
408
00:17:13,294 --> 00:17:14,897
You...
409
00:17:14,899 --> 00:17:16,232
Shit person!
410
00:17:16,234 --> 00:17:17,871
You were lying to me the whole time!
411
00:17:17,873 --> 00:17:19,770
No, no, no, no, no. I was not lying.
412
00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:21,772
I did owe the mob a lotta money.
413
00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:24,843
I just figured while I was waitin'
on the assassin to kill you,
414
00:17:24,845 --> 00:17:28,211
I could get ya to take
out the mob for me.
415
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:29,913
What are ya doin?
416
00:17:29,915 --> 00:17:33,983
All I wanted was what
every Jewish mother wants,
417
00:17:33,985 --> 00:17:35,952
for you to marry a doctor.
418
00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:38,390
But I am a doctor!
419
00:17:38,392 --> 00:17:39,856
And now look at ya.
420
00:17:39,858 --> 00:17:42,759
I tried so hard to get
ya to change your life
421
00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:45,261
in the most passive
aggressive way possible
422
00:17:45,263 --> 00:17:47,397
and this is the thanks I get?
423
00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:49,134
Yellin' and fightin'?
424
00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:50,933
But I'm your daughter.
425
00:17:50,935 --> 00:17:52,471
I know.
426
00:17:52,473 --> 00:17:55,606
That's why people spit at
us at the grocery store.
427
00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:57,375
When you became "Harley Quinn",
428
00:17:57,377 --> 00:17:59,876
we became the laughingstock
of the neighborhood.
429
00:17:59,878 --> 00:18:02,646
Oh, oh, I'm the reason
you're the laughingstock?
430
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:05,250
What about Dad bein' a fuckin' deadbeat?
431
00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:06,817
It's Bensonhurst!
432
00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:09,421
You beat an Irish and
people forget a lotta things.
433
00:18:09,423 --> 00:18:12,222
[EXCLAIMING IN PAIN]
434
00:18:12,224 --> 00:18:13,991
- [HARLEY GRUNTS]
- [GROANS]
435
00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:18,364
[GRUNTING] Piece of shit,
I'll fuckin' kill you.
436
00:18:18,365 --> 00:18:19,500
Ha!
437
00:18:19,501 --> 00:18:22,098
[GRUNTING]
438
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:24,134
[GRUNTING]
439
00:18:24,136 --> 00:18:26,304
[NICK] Ahhh!
440
00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:29,007
I do not know why you're so upset.
441
00:18:29,009 --> 00:18:30,509
I figured you'd understand.
442
00:18:30,511 --> 00:18:33,111
After all, you're a criminal, like me.
443
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,046
I'm nothin' like you.
444
00:18:35,048 --> 00:18:36,646
Ahhh!
445
00:18:36,648 --> 00:18:38,150
Oh, sure ya are! Of course ya are!
446
00:18:38,152 --> 00:18:40,652
Ya turned on your crew
just like I turned on you.
447
00:18:40,654 --> 00:18:43,953
Classic case a' samesies.
448
00:18:43,955 --> 00:18:45,022
- [GRUNTING]
- [GROANS]
449
00:18:45,023 --> 00:18:46,913
- Ahhh!
- No samesies!
450
00:18:46,915 --> 00:18:48,950
I didn't turn on my crew. They left me!
451
00:18:48,952 --> 00:18:50,673
Yeah, 'cause you were suckin' face
452
00:18:50,675 --> 00:18:51,930
with that goyische clown.
453
00:18:51,932 --> 00:18:53,731
You've always had bad taste in men.
454
00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:56,421
Gee, I wonder where I learned that from?
455
00:18:56,423 --> 00:18:57,567
[SCREAMS]
456
00:18:57,569 --> 00:18:59,337
Oh, my gift wrapping station!
457
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:03,842
[BOTH GRUNTING]
458
00:19:03,844 --> 00:19:06,676
Harleen, please don't kill your father.
459
00:19:06,678 --> 00:19:08,313
Yeah, we're family.
460
00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:10,248
Family doesn't kill each other.
461
00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:12,150
- [GRUNTS]
- [GROANS]
462
00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:15,086
You people are not my family.
463
00:19:15,088 --> 00:19:16,287
And ya know what?
464
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:19,190
[GRUNTS]
465
00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:22,942
You're not even worth it.
466
00:19:26,464 --> 00:19:27,816
[MOANING]
467
00:19:31,672 --> 00:19:35,405
Harley? What happened to you?
468
00:19:35,407 --> 00:19:39,844
[GROANS] Uh...
469
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:42,413
[GASPS SOFTLY]
470
00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:44,503
Well, look who's up.
471
00:19:44,505 --> 00:19:45,896
Harleen?
472
00:19:45,898 --> 00:19:46,989
Wha...
473
00:19:46,991 --> 00:19:48,678
How much of this am I hallucinating?
474
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:49,707
Just me.
475
00:19:49,709 --> 00:19:51,065
Weirdly the passed out guy
476
00:19:51,067 --> 00:19:53,723
with the boner and the plant
driving the car are both real.
477
00:19:53,725 --> 00:19:56,094
Why did ya tell me to
go back to Bensonhurst?
478
00:19:56,096 --> 00:19:57,184
In my defense,
479
00:19:57,186 --> 00:19:59,089
how could I have possibly
known your parents
480
00:19:59,091 --> 00:20:01,900
would try to kill you for
a million dollar bounty?
481
00:20:01,902 --> 00:20:03,402
Who wanted you dead, by the way?
482
00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:05,871
No idea. Feels like it could be anyone.
483
00:20:05,873 --> 00:20:08,409
Now I got no one left.
And even Ivy hates me.
484
00:20:08,411 --> 00:20:09,933
What the fuck you babblin' about?
485
00:20:09,935 --> 00:20:11,338
Ivy doesn't hate you.
486
00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:13,340
I'm only here because
Ivy says she needs you.
487
00:20:13,342 --> 00:20:15,480
She's been captured. It's life or death.
488
00:20:15,482 --> 00:20:16,590
What?
489
00:20:16,592 --> 00:20:17,617
Step on it
490
00:20:17,618 --> 00:20:20,018
[BRAKES SCREECH]
491
00:20:22,723 --> 00:20:25,691
That's when I told my mother
I don't want to be a lawyer.
492
00:20:25,693 --> 00:20:28,358
My passion is early childhood education.
493
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:30,662
And let me tell you, she did not...
494
00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:31,962
Oop. Doctor's here.
495
00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:33,731
Sorry, I guess it's time for harvesting.
496
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,035
Who the fuck are you? Show me your face.
497
00:20:36,037 --> 00:20:38,537
Uh... Gonna have to settle for a bag.
498
00:20:43,644 --> 00:20:45,292
[STRAINING]
499
00:20:50,348 --> 00:20:51,700
[EXHALES]
500
00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,022
Joshua!
501
00:21:00,024 --> 00:21:01,081
Whatup, Bane?
502
00:21:01,083 --> 00:21:03,662
I just saw the statement
from the Legion corporate card
503
00:21:03,664 --> 00:21:05,628
that your Uncle Penguin gave you.
504
00:21:05,630 --> 00:21:08,099
Did you put a down payment
505
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,955
on a bounty to kill Harley Quinn?
506
00:21:10,957 --> 00:21:13,133
What? Pfft. No.
507
00:21:13,135 --> 00:21:15,640
You are a lying liar!
508
00:21:15,642 --> 00:21:18,442
[YELLS] Okay, yes! She
ruined my bar mitzvah.
509
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:21,913
I want her dead. Dead. Dead. Dead!
510
00:21:21,915 --> 00:21:25,250
The credit card is for emergencies only,
511
00:21:25,252 --> 00:21:28,118
but your bill is all
candies, and vape pens,
512
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:31,721
and something suspiciously
labeled "dolphin encounter".
513
00:21:31,723 --> 00:21:35,291
When you put out a hit, you pay in cash.
514
00:21:35,293 --> 00:21:36,859
Okay, fine, I'll cancel it.
515
00:21:36,861 --> 00:21:38,128
Already done
516
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:41,732
because I am this
credit card's reckoning.
517
00:21:41,733 --> 00:21:46,136
I am cutting this card and
I am cutting it in half...
518
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,337
No. Please. I hate
when you do this, Bane.
519
00:21:48,339 --> 00:21:49,942
- These blades are dull.
- Bane!
520
00:21:49,944 --> 00:21:51,717
- I will bend it.
- Don't do that.
521
00:21:51,719 --> 00:21:52,807
Too late!
522
00:21:52,809 --> 00:21:55,413
Do you think I want to
be credit card paying man?
523
00:21:55,415 --> 00:21:57,413
I have dreams, too!
524
00:21:57,415 --> 00:21:59,250
Sorry, Bane. No, you're right.
525
00:21:59,252 --> 00:22:02,288
You're right. I shouldn't
have tried to kill Harley.
526
00:22:02,290 --> 00:22:05,891
Aw, I guess I was just
being... impulsive.
527
00:22:05,893 --> 00:22:07,692
Because you are young.
528
00:22:07,694 --> 00:22:12,631
The road to maturity
is a long one, Joshua.
529
00:22:12,633 --> 00:22:17,469
Ahhh! Goddammit! Who put that there?
530
00:22:17,471 --> 00:22:19,368
[BANE YELLS] Blow up on the ground
531
00:22:19,370 --> 00:22:23,575
you stupid office chair!
532
00:22:23,577 --> 00:22:25,832
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
533
00:22:25,834 --> 00:22:28,834
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
38272
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