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1
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Doctor In Clover
2
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Breathe.
3
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Now out.
4
00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:18,596
Seven o'clock.
5
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,196
I feel awful.
6
00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:24,191
Now the time's come, I don't want to go.
7
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You'll feel better after some breakfast.
You can have anything you want.
8
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Thanks.
9
00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,429
I don't feel... very hungry really.
10
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Strange, isn't it?
11
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How you get attached to a place.
12
00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,111
I've been here now, what..?
13
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- Six months.
- Six months!
14
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,196
Now it's all over.
15
00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:51,198
All because of a bird.
16
00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:54,317
Yes. But she was the Governor's daughter.
17
00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:58,040
It's funny, last doctor got the sack
for the same reason.
18
00:02:58,120 --> 00:02:59,951
No!
19
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:01,996
And I didn't even know about it.
20
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,990
I hope someone told my landlady
I was staying the night here.
21
00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:10,390
What did your screws put in that drink last night?
22
00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:13,756
Oh, that was a little concoction
we discovered in Block C.
23
00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:15,796
Prunes and methylated, I believe.
24
00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:18,678
Well, the prunes should do a bit of good,
I suppose.
25
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,478
Going to say goodbye to your patients?
26
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:24,109
Yeah, if I can walk that far
without my head falling off.
27
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,476
Have to stop for a bit on the way, though.
Ooh, those prunes!
28
00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:33,719
How are you feeling, Fleming?
29
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:36,360
I'm feeling very poorly today,
very poorly indeed.
30
00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:38,237
Temperature normal, pulse normal.
31
00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:39,958
Yeah, well, it's internal pain.
32
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:44,158
Somewhere round the abdomen
I'm getting these sharp, purple, searing pains
33
00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:45,992
followed by violent, green pains.
34
00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:47,559
Perhaps it's the appendix.
35
00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:49,471
It'd be very surprising if it was.
36
00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:51,312
You had it out three years ago.
37
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,630
Yeah, well, maybe they growed.
38
00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:55,551
See, the pain, sir, is something awful.
39
00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:58,552
I have to cry myself to sleep every night
when I'm in bed, sir.
40
00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:01,108
So could I just stay for one more week?
41
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:02,519
Just one more, eh, sir?
42
00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:05,034
- Only one?
- Yes, sir. Go on, sir.
43
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,315
You can stay here till the new doctor arrives.
44
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:09,197
Oh, thank you, sir.
45
00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:12,556
Sir, just for that...
you can have your watch back, sir.
46
00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:16,996
Oh, thank you very much.
47
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:18,479
You're welcome.
48
00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:20,198
Very kind. Thank you very much.
49
00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:22,077
- Good luck, sir.
- Thank you so much.
50
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:25,391
- Ah, how are you, Ashby?
- Is it true you're leaving today?
51
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,357
- Yes.
- Do us a favor, then.
52
00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:29,476
- What's that?
- Smuggle this out for us.
53
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:32,711
It's a dying man's letter for his invalid mother.
54
00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:34,870
I didn't know your mother was a bookie.
55
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:37,192
Thanks, Doctor.
56
00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:39,236
Hope it wins.
57
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:44,356
Ah, cheer up, Grafton.
Only another six years to go.
58
00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:46,670
Take a message to my Elsie, doc, would you?
59
00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:49,354
If I do it for you, I've got to do it for everyone,
haven't I?
60
00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:51,078
Pity.
61
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:53,951
Is that Elsie?
62
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,155
Yes, sir.
63
00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:56,639
Ooh, my dear!
64
00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:59,188
Oh, I think I can help you here all right.
65
00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:00,793
What's the message?
66
00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:09,315
- Well, I think I'll put it another way.
- Oh, she'll like that, sir.
67
00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:29,636
Cheers.
68
00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:39,749
Grimsdyke.
69
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,592
- Sir Lancelot!
- I thought so.
70
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:45,116
I never forget a face, although I deeply regret
the fact on many occasions.
71
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,191
- Get in.
- Yes, but you see, sir, I-I...
72
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:51,193
Doubtless you'd prefer to fiddle with
the gear lever of the car that's just passed,
73
00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:53,396
but that privilege has been denied you. Get in.
74
00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,038
Yes, sir.
75
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:06,396
Were you in private practice
before you went to... that place?
76
00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,517
No, sir, I was at Pentonville for two years.
77
00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:12,592
Hardly a matter for boasting.
You've been struck off, of course?
78
00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,636
Well, certainly not, sir.
79
00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:17,757
I say, you don't think
I was inside as a convict, do you?
80
00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:20,400
I admit the thought had flashed across my mind.
81
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,313
No, sir, I was one of the prison doctors.
82
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,039
I do not train my students
to coddle malingering convicts
83
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:27,473
but to go out into the world
84
00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:30,313
and use the most modern medical
methods science can devise.
85
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:31,594
Quite so, sir.
86
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:34,797
I'm going to teach you to be a doctor again,
Grimsdyke,
87
00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:38,111
so that once again
you may go forth and save life.
88
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:45,315
If I catch you jaywalking again,
I'll flatten you into the tarmac!
89
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:56,759
- And come and see me again in a fortnight.
- Thank you very much, Doctor.
90
00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:01,073
Emergency, Doctor.
91
00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:07,755
Ow! Careful!
92
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:09,432
How do you feel, doll?
93
00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:13,308
- Where's the doctor?
- You'll bourr�e out of here in no time, dolly.
94
00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:18,155
Sorry to bother you, Doctor.
She fell on her entrechat.
95
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:21,357
She fell on her... Oh... Oh, the ballet.
96
00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,316
She crumpled.
97
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,516
Crumpled like a cold souffl�.
98
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,192
Yeah.
99
00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:31,236
Came down like a sack of bloody potatoes.
100
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:34,835
What do you mean?
My elevation's as good as Margot's any day.
101
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:36,592
Ah, what are you?
102
00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:38,671
Now, now, don't excite yourself, Tatty.
103
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,354
And don't call me Tatty! My name's Tatiana!
104
00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:43,396
Sorry I'm sure.
105
00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:48,395
Good heavens, Sidney.
How many more times have I got to tell you?
106
00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:50,391
Are you the manager?
107
00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:52,311
I'm the choreographer, actually.
108
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:55,472
Now, this is Digger. Her partner.
109
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,118
Hi, doc.
110
00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,553
Er...
111
00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:03,111
Um... I would like to examine the lady,
so if you wouldn't mind waiting outside?
112
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:06,033
Yes, of course. Tell me, is there a pub handy?
113
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,917
Yes. Opposite the gates.
114
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:12,471
- Good. Come on, lads. I could do with a... pint.
- Me too.
115
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:16,473
- We can't just leave her, dollies.
- Don't worry about me, darling, I'll be all right.
116
00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:24,998
Right, now, Miss er... Oh, it is miss, yes?
117
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:27,071
Well, Doctor, I'm...
118
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,958
I'm not exactly a dame yet.
119
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,830
Well, I'm afraid I don't go to the ballet much.
120
00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:35,638
Oh, don't you?
121
00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:38,075
Well, we must remedy that, mustn't we?
122
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,549
Which er... Which leg is it?
123
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:43,154
Whichever you say.
124
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:45,117
Oh...
125
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:46,997
Um...
126
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:49,428
Does this hurt?
127
00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:54,435
Um... Well, it's a bit difficult for me to say, really,
128
00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:57,478
when I'm... wearing these tights.
129
00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:06,390
Well, Doctor, I... I think you've hit it.
130
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:09,472
Er... Nurse, we'll have to have this X-rayed.
131
00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:13,470
You... You don't...
132
00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:16,233
I mean... will...
I will be able to go on tonight, won't I?
133
00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:18,117
No, I'm sorry.
134
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,395
W- What am I going to do?
135
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:22,357
My public!
136
00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:24,789
Oh!
137
00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:29,196
Oh, now, please,
don't... don't upset yourself, Miss er...
138
00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:32,635
Rubikov.
139
00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:34,312
You can call me Ruby, if you like.
140
00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:37,112
It's my name, actually.
141
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:39,918
Oh, give us a hankie, will you?
142
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:48,919
Thanks darlin'.
143
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:52,276
Mm.
144
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:57,753
What a gorgeous smell. What is it?
145
00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,195
Well, it's ether, I expect.
146
00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:02,236
Ether?
147
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:05,592
You kinky thing.
148
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:09,554
X- ray.
149
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:12,677
Well, we'll have to find a bed for Miss Rubikov.
150
00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:13,988
A private room, of course.
151
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:17,516
- I'm afraid all the rooms are occupied.
- The public ward?
152
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:20,637
Ah, never mind.
It'll probably be full of your public.
153
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,393
Ohh! Oh, I never thought of that.
154
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,793
Well, Nurse Holliday, what can I do for you?
155
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,355
Kiss me, you kinky thing.
156
00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:37,758
Very well.
157
00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:39,990
If you think it'll help your complaint.
158
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:48,034
Come on.
159
00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:51,073
Come on, now, hurry up.
160
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:59,951
It's my idiot cousin, Gaston Grimsdyke!
161
00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,395
You don't think he's coming to work here,
do you?
162
00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,516
There's a quick way to find out.
Go and ask him.
163
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,793
I wouldn't say I was going to work here exactly.
164
00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:12,317
Oh, no. Just polishing up the old medical
science before I go into private practice.
165
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:13,628
Whose idea was that?
166
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:17,349
Sir Lancelot, actually. To be perfectly frank,
he insisted that I came.
167
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:20,193
And as I was a bit short of the old ready,
well, what can you do?
168
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:24,353
You've got to do something, haven't you?
Anyway, I like working with nurses.
169
00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:27,398
Besides, my medical knowledge
isn't exactly up to date.
170
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:30,233
You mean you're too frightened
of Sir Lancelot to say no.
171
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:32,878
Suppose I get you a better job?
172
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,428
Say... ship's doctor
on a Mediterranean cruise?
173
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,909
That's very nice of you. I accept.
When do we start?
174
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,956
I was only suggesting that as an example.
175
00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:42,679
I've got a feeling you don't want me here.
176
00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:45,718
Well, yes, your feeling's dead right. I don't.
177
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:48,997
Look, I'm in line for a marvelous job
and I don't want you messing it up.
178
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:52,197
Anybody would think I was a jonah,
or cast hoodoos or something.
179
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:54,396
Watch it!
180
00:11:58,040 --> 00:11:59,996
Here. Here. Let me have it.
181
00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:15,712
Get it out the window!
182
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,355
Oh, watch it!
183
00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:32,553
Terribly sorry, sir!
184
00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:34,710
Look out! The Dean!
185
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:36,358
What is happening?
186
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,434
The Dean! Turn it off!
187
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:49,278
- The Dean! The Dean!
- I don't care about the... Who? Ahh!
188
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,196
This is your bed.
189
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:29,795
Have you got anything softer? This is
going to be a bit hard on my war wounds.
190
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:31,518
All the beds are exactly the same.
191
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:35,639
- Undress and put on this nightshirt, please.
- I don't wear nightshirts, I wear pajamas.
192
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,712
You wear the nightshirt
to facilitate the doctor's examination.
193
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,552
- Now, put it on.
- Is it clean?
194
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:46,234
- Of course it's clean!
- Keep your hair on, I only asked.
195
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:50,154
For all I know, the fella that wore this before me
might have had a touch of impetigo.
196
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:52,595
- Well, he didn't.
- Well, what did he have?
197
00:13:52,680 --> 00:13:54,398
I don't know.
198
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:56,072
You don't know?
199
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,993
Oh, that's nice, innit? That's marvelous, innit?
200
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:01,319
Oi!
201
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:06,076
I've just been asked to wear a nightshirt that was
last worn by a fella with an unknown disease.
202
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:09,197
What's going to happen if I get it, then?
That's what I want to know.
203
00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:12,590
And if the disease was unknown,
how are you going to know if I've got it?
204
00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:15,114
I'm not wearing those. I'm wearing pajamas.
205
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:23,550
I'll have the screen round me.
I don't want everybody to see what I've got.
206
00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,790
Don't bother, Nurse.
207
00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:30,315
Tell the doctor I'll be ready in about ten minutes.
208
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:34,188
You'll be lucky. He won't be in here
until he's finished in the women's wards.
209
00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:36,510
Oh, it's women and children first, is it?
210
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,034
Well, all I hope is he knows I'm an emergency.
211
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:43,477
And if I should fall into a coma before he arrives,
my blood group is AB rhesus negative.
212
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:46,996
Well, now, a good doctor must learn
to move fast and silently.
213
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:50,836
Excuse me! Excuse me!
214
00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:53,756
- Morning, Sister.
- Morning, Sir Lancelot.
215
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:58,072
Morning, Nurse. This is Dr. Gaston Grimsdyke.
He's just joined us.
216
00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:00,310
- Good morning, Doctor.
- Morning, Sister.
217
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,879
Good morning, Doctor.
218
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:03,757
Hello!
219
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:07,189
Hello.
220
00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:12,713
Could we, by a superhuman effort of will,
concentrate on the patients, Doctor?
221
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:14,028
Of course, Sir Lancelot.
222
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:18,235
Morning.
223
00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:24,629
- Morning.
- Morning.
224
00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:29,355
You, Symington, be so kind
as to examine this lady's abdomen.
225
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:34,316
The symptoms are acute painin the lower abdomen and back...
226
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:38,916
and treatment so far is liquid dietand pethidine four-hourly.
227
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:40,558
What is your diagnosis?
228
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,039
Oh! Couldn't you warm your hand first?
229
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:46,678
Oh. Sorry.
230
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:51,669
Spleen, sir?
231
00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:53,159
Diseased spleen?
232
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:57,279
Have you sat at my feet for a full year without
knowing where the spleen is situated?
233
00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,555
Like casting pearls before swine, Sister.
234
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:01,278
I don't know how I survive.
235
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:03,749
Perhaps you'd honor us
with another wild guess.
236
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:06,913
- Wind, sir.
- 'S'not!
237
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:09,757
You know, flatulence.
238
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:13,879
It might be. It might well be. But if it were,
we would hardly allow this lady,
239
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:17,111
charming though she undoubtedly is,
to occupy a valuable bed!
240
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,839
We'd have a whip-round
and buy her some bicarbonate of soda
241
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:21,512
and send her on her way rejoicing.
242
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:24,068
Really, what's wrong with the patient?
243
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:26,833
You, Grimsdyke.
244
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:27,989
- Me, sir?
- Yes, you.
245
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,469
Er... Yes, of course. Right away, sir.
246
00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:32,039
Right away. Now...
247
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:34,399
Yes, well, there we are.
248
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:36,277
Half past eleven.
249
00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:40,796
Right, here we go, then.
250
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:43,916
I think we're onto something here, sir.
251
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:47,477
Now, let me see your tongue.
252
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:48,959
Oh. Thank you very much.
253
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:51,838
You'll be asking the patient
to say "99" in a minute!
254
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:53,353
Say "99".
255
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:57,353
These are excellent aids to diagnosis
but hardly relevant to this case!
256
00:16:57,440 --> 00:16:59,317
From what is the patient suffering?
257
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,595
I have absolutely no doubt at all, sir.
258
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:05,319
No doubt in my mind whatsoever that she is...
259
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,753
suffering, sir.
260
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,193
Oh, yes.
261
00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:10,589
She is suffering... from er...
262
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,229
Stones, sir?
263
00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:17,356
In the um... kidneys?
264
00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:21,314
Quite right.
And what treatment would you advise?
265
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:25,359
We obviously can't dissolve them, can we, sir?
266
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,398
So, if I were a skilled surgeon like you, sir,
267
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:29,799
I'd um...
268
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,393
...yank 'em out.
269
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:39,756
I am not exactly enamored of the suggestion
that I ever yank anything anywhere.
270
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,957
However, I do propose to remove themthis afternoon.
271
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:47,909
Oh, don't be alarmed, madam.
I've removed hundreds of stones in my time.
272
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,638
Enough to cobble a courtyard.
273
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:52,553
You'll feel no pain and, what is more,
274
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,677
you can take them home
and have them mounted as cufflinks
275
00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:57,716
for your ever-loving husband.
276
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:00,873
And the next, Sister.
277
00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:06,670
What is your opinion of this patient, Preston?
278
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:13,634
The patient appears to be sinking fast, sir.
279
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:22,636
We are all hanging on your every utterance,
Preston.
280
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:24,039
What is wrong?
281
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:25,872
Postoperational shock, sir.
282
00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:31,398
Hardly a very inspired suggestion in view of
the fact the patient has not undergone surgery.
283
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:33,710
Would you oblige us once more, Dr. Grimsdyke?
284
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,552
Of course, sir.
285
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:37,555
Thank you.
286
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:39,596
- Morning.
- Morning.
287
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,119
Yes, it's pretty obvious, sir.
288
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:46,034
The patient is fully recovered
and can be discharged. Thank you, Sister.
289
00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:48,554
My congratulations on your recovery, madam.
290
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:50,596
Thank you.
291
00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:00,672
Ooh, it's lovely!
What am I supposed to do with this?
292
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:04,676
Ooh.
293
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:07,558
Hello, darling.
Come and join us, whoever you are.
294
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,313
What the devil's this? A wedding reception?
295
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:11,879
Fab beard.
296
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:13,234
Get rid of them.
297
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,276
Who gave you permission to visit?
298
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:19,432
Nobody, doll face.
When the queen calls, her subjects obey.
299
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:23,593
You have exactly 30 seconds to get out of here
before I turn the fire hoses on you.
300
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,272
Pardon us for living.
301
00:19:25,360 --> 00:19:27,316
Bye, doll. Come on, Digs, let's go.
302
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,709
Excuse me. Oops! Cheeky!
303
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:37,593
Madam, it is strictly against the rules
to entertain visitors outside specified hours.
304
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:39,398
Get rid of all this rubbish.
305
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:41,835
Oh, I'm terribly sorry, darling.
306
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:47,836
Well... love laughs at locksmiths, doesn't it?
307
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:51,071
Neither love, laughter nor locksmiths,
unless they be seriously ill,
308
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:53,594
have any place within this hospital, madam.
309
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:56,194
You're a bit of a piglet, aren't you, darling?
310
00:19:56,280 --> 00:20:00,637
I am also senior surgeon here
and would advise you to obey the rules.
311
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,955
To hear is to obey.
312
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,831
So divinely bossy.
313
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:11,357
What appears to be wrong
with this patient, Sister?
314
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:13,237
It's the most essential part of me.
315
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:16,236
Well, one of them, anyway.
316
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:19,599
I say!
317
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:23,309
The patient has a painful swelling
above the left patella.
318
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,834
Will you be so good as to diagnose, Beckwith?
319
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:28,959
Yes, sir.
320
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:32,793
There's no need to be nervous, Doctor.
321
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:34,916
I've been examined before, you know.
322
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,914
- A dislocated cartilage, sir?
- And the remedy?
323
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,753
- Put it back into place, sir.
- And how would you do that?
324
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,638
- Like this, sir.
- Don't jump the gun Beckwith!
325
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:49,748
He jumped it.
326
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:53,432
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
327
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,636
There's no need for an apology, madam.
328
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:58,439
He asked for it.
A very salutary lesson, gentlemen.
329
00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:01,717
Never crank the engine while the car is in gear.
330
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,439
And now one of you
had better put his jaw back into place.
331
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:07,713
Will you examine now, Doctor?
332
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,756
Oh, of course, sir.
333
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:15,679
Here we go, eh, sir?
334
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:18,199
Er, excuse me, sir.
335
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,438
- Well, the cartilage is evidently torn, sir.
- And the remedy?
336
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:30,839
And the remedy?
337
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,352
Operate, sir.
338
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,396
I agree.
339
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:40,592
No! No, I won't have an operation!
340
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:42,113
Now, madam, don't fret.
341
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:44,668
We'll soon have you going through
the hoops again.
342
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:46,716
Going through the hoops?!
343
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,358
What kind of performer
do you think I am, darling?
344
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:54,796
Admirable, I'm sure, in every way.
345
00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:01,873
Your powers of diagnosis
are almost uncanny, Doctor.
346
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:03,552
Oh, thank you very much, sir.
347
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:07,394
A bit too uncanny, in fact. I propose
to send you to Research for a spell.
348
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,357
But I'm quite happy as I am, sir.
349
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:13,228
I'm sure you are. I, however, have
the moral welfare of the nurses to consider.
350
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,311
And the physical welfare of the patients.
351
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:19,234
- So you'll go to Research and cool off for a bit.
- That's very kind of you, sir.
352
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:23,509
- Hello, Tweetypie.
Who's a silly old beggar?
353
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:27,832
You are. What is your opinion
on keeping birds in the wards, Doctor?
354
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:29,035
I love birds, sir.
355
00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:30,758
Oh, you mean the parrot.
356
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:34,071
Yes, it's er... a bit unhygienic isn't it, sir?
357
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:37,357
Oh, very. But its advantages
well outweigh the disadvantages.
358
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:41,592
Gives the patients something
to think about other than themselves.
359
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:43,636
Burrr!
360
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:57,516
They're nice, aren't they, mate?
Cost me 16 packets of detergent.
361
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,397
You can't tell 'em from the real thing,
362
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:02,597
- can you mate?
- I can and I'm not your mate.
363
00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:06,069
Oh, you're one of those.
Not good enough for you, eh?
364
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:10,312
Well, I'll tell you something, mate. I'm a fully
paid-up member of the National Health
365
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,038
and I'm entitled to all the benefits
366
00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:14,588
plus a little respect from the upper classes.
367
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:23,674
- How are you getting on today?
- Very slowly, Sir Lancelot, slowly.
368
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,718
I suppose there's no chance
of getting into a private ward yet?
369
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:29,519
I very much doubt it.
What is the situation, Sister?
370
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:33,752
- Quite out of the question, I'm afraid.
- Very sorry, Mr. Tristram. Have to soldier on.
371
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:34,829
Ohh!
372
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:37,480
Ohh!
373
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,000
Mr. Wendover. What appears to be the matter?
374
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:44,991
That's up to you to find out, Doctor.
375
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:47,799
That's what I'm here for, so you can find that out.
376
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:51,156
- What appears to be the trouble?
- He has shooting pains up his back.
377
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:54,789
And down my front. I know what it is,
it's my war wound. Shrapnel on the move.
378
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:56,438
And how did that happen?
379
00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:59,671
I was bending down in the trenches,
before taking my men over the top,
380
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:02,678
when off goes a grenade
and a lump of shrapnel hits me up the...
381
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:04,193
Rectum?
382
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:08,159
- Well, it didn't do 'em any good.
- Has he been X-rayed?
383
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,356
I'll see those later. Let's see your stomach.
384
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:11,668
Not on your nelly.
385
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:14,194
In front of all these students?
I'm not a peepshow.
386
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:16,032
I know my rights. I'm not a guinea pig.
387
00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:19,510
You're the doctor that's dealing
with my stomach. Everybody else, out!
388
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:22,837
Everybody will stay exactly where he is!
389
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,070
You're under observation Wendover.
390
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:28,789
We'll find out whether there's anything wrong
or whether you're malingering.
391
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:32,271
Did you hear that? Malingering?!
392
00:24:32,360 --> 00:24:35,830
You'll be hearing from my solicitors
in the morning, you will.
393
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:39,399
- Does that hurt?
- Yeah. Ooh!
394
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,072
- And that?
- Ooh!
395
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:44,908
Just a minute. I hope your hands are clean.
396
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:47,273
Don't be impertinent!
397
00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:50,670
Learn to control your tongue,or I'll have you discharged for thwith.
398
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:53,479
Is that a threat?
Are you threatening me? That's nice.
399
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:58,714
I'm on my deathbed and I'm being threatened.
You wouldn't talk to me like that if I was royalty.
400
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:00,119
You are not royalty.
401
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:03,670
I know I'm not. I'm just a bit of cannon fodder
what fought for King and country
402
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,069
and is now a guinea pig
for the medical profession.
403
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:09,914
All right, if you want everybody to see
my stomach. Here, Nurse, look at this.
404
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,833
And the rest of you can play
noughts and crosses on it. Come on.
405
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:15,275
We have neither the time nor the inclination.
406
00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:19,638
Sister, give him a purge to make his bowels
work and I'll see him in the morning.
407
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:22,712
In the morning? Might be too late.
I might be dead then.
408
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:25,872
And I tell you one thing,
if I am, I'll demand an inquest.
409
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:32,389
Nurse. I've been looking for you.
410
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:35,040
Thanks for helping me out with those questions.
411
00:25:35,120 --> 00:25:36,394
It was a great pleasure.
412
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:41,315
Look, um, this is my first day here
and I haven't made any friends yet.
413
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:44,995
I was wondering if you'd like to...
answer a few more questions?
414
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:46,638
Oh, yes.
415
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:49,359
- I'd love to answer a few more questions.
- Over dinner?
416
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:52,909
I'm sorry, Doctor.
417
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,956
Oh. Why, have you got a date?
418
00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:59,912
- Who with?
419
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:06,430
Fianc�?! Oh! Now... we're not going to let a little
thing like that stand between us, are we?
420
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,279
Well... what a nice couple you make.
421
00:26:16,360 --> 00:26:18,794
I'll see you in Casualty tomorrow, Doctor.
422
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:20,393
I won't be in Casualty tomorrow.
423
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:23,074
You will be if you ask her out again.
424
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,031
And so, with those few inadequate words,
425
00:26:26,120 --> 00:26:30,591
raise your glasses and drink
to the happy and peaceful retirement
426
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,353
- of our dear Matron, Miss Bobsover.
Miss Bobsover.
427
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:37,315
And at the same time to welcome
our new Matron, Miss Sweet.
428
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:40,836
- Miss Bobsover, Miss Sweet.
Miss Sweet, Miss Bobsover.
429
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:48,869
Allow me to introduce myself. Lancelot Spratt.
How do you do?
430
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:52,555
How do you do, Sir Lancelot?
I know you very well by reputation, of course.
431
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:56,235
That's not always complimentary to me,
but from you I shall accept it as one.
432
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:59,278
- May I get you a drink?
- I don't drink, thank you.
433
00:26:59,360 --> 00:27:03,592
Very right and proper. Look after the liver
and the complexion looks after itself.
434
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:06,672
- What about a cigarette?
- I don't smoke either.
435
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,035
Have we no vices,
mentionable or unmentionable?
436
00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:11,475
I'm rather keen on chess.
437
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:14,154
A splendidly sedentary and non-soporific game.
438
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:18,518
I enjoy a canter across the board myself,
metaphorically speaking, of course.
439
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:19,953
May I get you some more tea?
440
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:21,951
No, thank you. I really must go and change.
441
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,838
I think Matron would like me to take over
as soon as possible.
442
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:30,199
Very good. I shall look forward to many
enjoyable encounters during my rounds.
443
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:35,794
Miles.
444
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:37,996
She seems a very agreeable sort of woman.
445
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:40,799
Courteous and respectful.
446
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:44,350
- I think she�ll be house-trained by Christmas.
- I hope so, sir.
447
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:47,119
Ah, Grimsdyke. Been looking for you.
448
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,156
Well, here I am, Professor Halfbeck.
449
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:50,832
What can I do for you, sir?
450
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:53,229
It's the other way round.
It's what I can do for you.
451
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:54,992
I'm leaving for Canada in the New Year
452
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:59,153
and I'd like you to know that though there aremore than a dozen candidates after my job.
453
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:02,835
I'm recommending that it should be givento a certain Dr. Grimsdyke.
454
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:05,673
Well, that's... that's most generous of you, sir.
455
00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:11,351
Er... by the way, you will make it clear that you're
recommending Dr. Miles Grimsdyke,
456
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:13,829
- not Dr. Gaston Grimsdyke?
- You have a brother?
457
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:16,480
Well, no, he's my cousin, actually.
458
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,630
- Of course I'll recommend the right one.
459
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:21,439
Shall I... put it down for you, sir?
460
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:23,988
Good idea. Save further confusion, won't it?
461
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:29,553
There. I think that...
that ought to be perfectly clear.
462
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:32,074
Ah, yes. Dr. Miles Grimsdyke.
463
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:34,037
No, no, Dr. Gaston Grimsdyke.
464
00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:36,350
How do you do? I didn't get your name.
465
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:40,319
Send me a memo, Grimsdyke,
there's a good chap.
466
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:44,950
The sooner I find you another job,
the better it'll be for all of us.
467
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:48,919
Don't worry. I've just heard about
the most wonderful job. Suit me to a tee.
468
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,992
- Oh, thank heavens! What is it?
- Swear you won't tell anybody?
469
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:54,753
There's a lot of chaps
who'd like to get onto it if they knew.
470
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:56,512
I won't tell a soul.
471
00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:59,512
Well, it seems there's a fellow here
called Halfbeck
472
00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:02,512
who's leaving here and going to Canada
just after Christmas.
473
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:06,752
Now, I thought with a little bit of luck,
using some of our family charm,
474
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:08,796
I might get the job.
475
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:22,199
- Excuse me, sir?
- Uh-huh?
476
00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:24,999
- I wonder if I may have a word with you?
- Yes, of course.
477
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:26,274
I need advice.
478
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:29,591
Oh you've come to the right man.As long as it's not about medicine.
479
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:32,148
Well, actually, sir, it's about a girl.
480
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:33,673
A girl?
481
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:37,355
I think I can safely say
I'm something of an expert on the fair sex.
482
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:40,637
Oh, you know.
483
00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:42,676
I think I'm in love, sir.
484
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:43,875
What, don't you know?
485
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:45,234
No, sir, not for sure.
486
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:48,437
I mean I can't eat, can't sleep, can't think...
487
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:51,910
- Well, I never was much good at that, sir.
- No, you weren't, actually.
488
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:53,718
And wherever I look, I see her.
489
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:56,758
- Who?
- The prettiest physiotherapist in the hospital.
490
00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:59,957
- What's her name?
- Janine Belmont.
491
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:02,474
- Oh, I must have missed her.
- I beg your pardon, sir?
492
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:04,039
Oh, nothing, nothing. Excuse me.
493
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:05,553
Any other symptoms?
494
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:07,551
Janine Belmont.
495
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:12,395
Yes, sir. Well, it may sound ridiculous,
but every time I see her, I hear music.
496
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:18,435
Symington,
497
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:21,080
is she terribly pretty, this girl?
498
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:22,991
She's fantastic, sir!
499
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:26,117
She's got the most beautiful eyes.
And the most wonderful figure.
500
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:29,351
- You should see her in the swimming pool.
- I'd like to, I really would.
501
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:31,192
Is she... Is she in it now?
502
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:32,599
Well, she should be.
503
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:36,116
Why don't you come and look?
Then perhaps you could tell if she's keen on me.
504
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:38,475
Good heavens! Don't you know that either?
505
00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:41,358
Haven't you kissed her or... anything?
506
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:44,159
Well, not yet, sir.
I've only been out with her nine times.
507
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:47,949
Things have certainly changed
since I was a medical student. Nine times!
508
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:49,632
- She very petite.
- She's what?
509
00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:51,278
- Petite.
- What, only one?
510
00:30:58,000 --> 00:30:59,479
There she is.
511
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:03,030
That's wonderful, Tommy.
Shall we try again?
512
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:07,995
Come back.
513
00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:10,638
Well? What do you think?
514
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:17,556
You do think she�s pretty, don't you?
515
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:20,271
Hm? Well, you know...
516
00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:23,038
Not bad, not bad.
517
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:24,519
Hello.
518
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:26,875
She's seen me!
519
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:34,189
Look, if I play my cards properly,
do you think I've got a chance?
520
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:37,590
I hate to have to tell you this, old chap,
521
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:41,309
as a man of the world,
being much more experienced in these matters
522
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:44,597
than most people twice my age,
I'm going to have to be brutal with you
523
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:47,035
and say, albeit reluctantly, of course...
524
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:50,036
...you haven't got a hope in hell.
525
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:52,316
You mean she's not interested?
526
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:54,118
Not in the slightest.
527
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:56,156
Wasting your time.
528
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:01,197
Funny. Funny she's just waved to me.
529
00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:12,994
Come on. Again.
530
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:14,718
That's better.
531
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:16,916
What a delightful little boy you're helping.
532
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,992
He broke his leg.
We're trying to make it better, Doctor.
533
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:23,516
- You are a doctor, aren't you?
- Rather! Dr. Gaston Grimsdyke.
534
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:26,398
The Gaston comes from
the French side of the family.
535
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:29,233
I believe, in fact, I'm related to Napoleon.
536
00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:31,914
What a shame. He was a nasty little man.
537
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:35,231
Oh. Only a distant relation, of course, you know.
538
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:38,118
I hope you don't mind my speaking to you,
Mademoiselle...
539
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:39,997
Belmont. Janine.
540
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:42,469
Janine Belmont.
Aw, charmante.
541
00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:47,031
Look, I'm writing a treatise on physiotherapy
and I was wondering...
542
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:49,076
If we could have dinner and talk about it.
543
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:51,390
That's right. How clever of you to guess.
544
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:53,436
It's not clever at all
545
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:58,799
because already five doctors and 12 medical
students have made the same suggestion.
546
00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:01,838
How about having dinner
and not talking about physiotherapy?
547
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:05,151
That sounds a lot better. No, thank you.
548
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:08,232
- How about having dinner and not even talking?
- No.
549
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:11,869
What's the matter, don't you fancy me?
I mean, don't you like me?
550
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,918
Oh, no, it's not that, but you see,
551
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:18,470
I'm only 20 and er... you're too old.
552
00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:22,358
Me, too old?! How old do you think I am?
553
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:25,113
About er... 36?
554
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:27,714
I'm nothing of the sort!
555
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:30,473
I may look 36 but I'm... I'm only 35.
556
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:32,152
There you are, then.
557
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:35,710
15 years difference.
When I'm 86, you're already over 100.
558
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:39,752
Too old!
559
00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:41,796
Too old!
560
00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:01,075
You can pack in your research.
I've found the perfect job for you.
561
00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:03,913
Medical officer, ladies college, British Columbia.
562
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:10,916
800 females! From 18 to 22. And only one
young man, Gaston the great loverboy.
563
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,150
Me, young?
564
00:34:13,240 --> 00:34:15,390
I've already got one foot in the grave.
565
00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:18,153
You're not suffering from
an incurable disease, are you?
566
00:34:18,240 --> 00:34:21,994
I'm afraid so. It's ghastly.
It's never happened to me before.
567
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:25,554
- I'm in love.
- With a girl?
568
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:28,438
Well, naturally.
569
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:30,556
Trouble is, she's 15 years younger than me.
570
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:33,518
- Well, that's never worried you before.
- It worries her.
571
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:36,034
Good. Then you can take this job
in British Columbia
572
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:37,394
and forget all about her.
573
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:40,153
Miles, you don't seem to understand.
This is the real thing.
574
00:34:40,240 --> 00:34:43,152
I'm even contemplating... marriage.
575
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:46,352
You mean you don't want the job?
576
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:48,078
It pays $10,000 a year!
577
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:52,438
It's very nice of you to think of me,
but Halfbeck's job is worth a very good salary.
578
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:55,193
- More than enough to get married on.
- I know that, you idiot.
579
00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:57,999
It's earmarked for me. Unless you muck it up.
580
00:34:58,080 --> 00:35:00,833
Look here,
I told you about that in the strictest secrecy.
581
00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:04,469
Everybody knows about it
and that I'm going to get it.
582
00:35:05,720 --> 00:35:07,676
Good morning, Matron.
583
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:10,916
Is this bed supposed to be made?
584
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:16,154
The proper way to make a bed is to fold the
corners in at an angle of precisely 25 degrees.
585
00:35:16,240 --> 00:35:18,708
Those corners are at an angle
of at least 30 degrees.
586
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:21,553
Remake all the beds in the ward
in the proper manner.
587
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:24,552
And, Sister,
your collar is not sufficiently starched.
588
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:28,076
Nurse! Are you wearing false eyelashes?
589
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:29,639
- No, Matron.
- Speak up, girl.
590
00:35:29,720 --> 00:35:31,278
- No, Matron.
- That's better.
591
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:35,433
I never allow any of my nurses to wear
artificial aids to so-called beauty.
592
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:39,798
It is unhygienic and encourages licentiousness
from the male patients.
593
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:42,997
Go at once and take them off
and wash your face with soap and water.
594
00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:45,036
Yes, Matron.
595
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:47,997
Who's a silly old buzzard?
596
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:53,157
Sister, what is that bird doing here?
597
00:35:53,240 --> 00:35:55,754
Get it out of my hospital at once!
598
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:58,195
Silence!
599
00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:01,113
In 20 years of nursing,
I have never known anything like this.
600
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:05,193
A pet in a ward?
Disgraceful, disgusting. Disinfect.
601
00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:08,113
- But, Matron, Sir Lancelot expressly asked...
- Oh, did he?
602
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:11,954
Well, I have already expressly asked
for it to be removed.
603
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:14,474
I do not propose to repeat myself.
604
00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:16,676
- Bancroft, remove the patient.
- The patient?
605
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:18,591
- The parrot!
- But, Matron, it's...
606
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:20,636
- Nurse!
- Yes, Matron.
607
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:25,676
Come on, Tweetypie.
608
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:30,117
Now, get this clear, everyone,
nurses and patients.
609
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,509
You are not here to enjoy yourselves,
610
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:34,750
you are here to get better.
611
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:37,035
And better you are going to get!
612
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:39,992
Help, Sir Lancelot!
613
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:41,559
Where are you taking my parrot?
614
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:43,790
Matron instructed me to remove it, sir.
615
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:46,235
And I instruct you to replace it.
616
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:48,390
Well, come on, girl, what are you waiting for?
617
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:51,517
Come on, give me the parrot.
I'll take it back to the ward.
618
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:55,149
Come along, Tweetypie,
back you come to where you belong.
619
00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:59,556
Come on, talk to your old man.
Back with all the pretty girls.
620
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:03,199
There you are, back where you started from.
621
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:07,910
Oh, Matron, there appears to have been
some slight misunderstanding.
622
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,833
I don't know whether you're aware,
but I gave instructions
623
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:13,354
that this parrot was to remain in the ward.
624
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:15,795
There was no misunderstanding, Sir Lancelot.
625
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:17,791
I gave instructions for it to be removed.
626
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:19,836
Nurse, remove it.
627
00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:22,718
- Excuse me.
- Nurse, replace it, if you'd be so kind.
628
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:24,756
- Remove it, Nurse.
Help!
629
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:28,629
Let us get one thing crystal clear, Sir Lancelot,
630
00:37:28,720 --> 00:37:32,554
I am responsible for the wards of this hospital,
and for instructing the nurses.
631
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:34,710
You are responsible for the patients.
632
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:38,919
If you do not like the arrangement,
I suggest you complain to a higher authority.
633
00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:48,759
Excuse me, miss,
haven't I seen you before somewhere?
634
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:51,195
I'm afraid you're the only one
who could answer that.
635
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:53,111
Here, I got it, you're Tatiana Rubikov.
636
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:56,317
Last time I caught you,
you were having a bash at Sylphides.
637
00:37:56,400 --> 00:38:00,359
- Oh, wonderful pont-levis? Wonderful.
- Oh, how very kind of you to say so.
638
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:03,238
Nothing like a bash of Sylphides
when you've got the hump.
639
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:04,719
Are you fond of ballet, then?
640
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:06,995
Oh, I know it all, love. I know it all backwards.
641
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:09,548
Fouettes, arabesques,
642
00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:12,029
enchainements, entrechats...
643
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:16,239
I never had a bash at it myself.
My dad wouldn't let me do it.
644
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:19,790
Oh, what a very silly daddy!
645
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:21,438
You think so?
646
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:24,557
Oh, yes. You'd have made a wonderful dancer.
647
00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:26,392
You've got the physique.
648
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:29,516
You know what I think?
649
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:33,479
I think your ballon would be sheer magic.
650
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:35,837
- My what?
- Your ballon.
651
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:39,993
My balloon? Oh, that would have gone up,
wouldn't it? But he kept it down.
652
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:41,832
Still, there you are.
653
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:43,638
But your gissle, that's a treat.
654
00:38:43,720 --> 00:38:46,188
- My... My... My what?
- Show us a bit of your gissle.
655
00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:48,475
Oh, I... My... Oh, not here!
656
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:52,348
Show us that bit where you go bonkers,
you pull the beads off and you fall down.
657
00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:53,759
Oh, my Giselle!
658
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:55,432
- Yeah, go on.
- Oh, do you like it?
659
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:58,080
- How sweet of you.
- Go on, do a little bit now.
660
00:38:58,160 --> 00:39:01,118
- No, I couldn't possibly.
- Oh, go on, we're in the same hospital.
661
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:04,715
- I couldn't possibly.
- All right, then.
662
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:08,349
Well, er... if you wouldn't mind
holding my crutch for a moment.
663
00:39:14,720 --> 00:39:16,915
Giselle
664
00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:04,590
Bravo! Bravo!
665
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:08,791
Oh, thank you very much.
666
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:13,112
- That's better than all your pills, love.
- Won't you help me up, darling?
667
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:15,999
Mr. Wendover!
668
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:19,038
- What are you doing out of bed?
- Three guesses, mate...
669
00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:20,633
...tron.
670
00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:23,188
Kindly return to your ward at once!
671
00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:25,236
Sisters!
672
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:29,874
- Come on.
- Hey, watch it. Watch it.
673
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:32,235
Watch it!
674
00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:35,989
You should not be in this corridor, Miss Rubikov.
675
00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:38,435
These are the men's wards.
676
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:40,351
Oh, are they really?
677
00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:43,239
I had no idea.
678
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:46,995
It is my belief that you are a sex maniac.
679
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:55,112
Come in.
680
00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:56,872
- Sir?
- Ah Grimsdyke.
681
00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:59,554
That woman's quite impossible. She's a gorgon.
682
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:03,076
She should be in a home for stray dragons,
not matron of a busy hospital.
683
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:06,277
- She is a bit of a case, sir.
- Psychiatric case, if you ask me.
684
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:08,999
I can't say I've dug down very deep myself, sir.
685
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:11,036
You don't have to. It's obvious.
686
00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:13,111
She's repressed. She needs an object to love.
687
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:15,475
She's got her chessboard.
688
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:18,518
She needs a man, not a ruddy rook!
Sit down, Grimsdyke.
689
00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:22,388
A man. That's very interesting, sir,
but, I mean, what man?
690
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:26,075
Who would you get... that's... n...
691
00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:28,553
You must be joking, sir!
692
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:30,392
Why not?
693
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:34,678
It'd all be part of a day's work to you,
with your abundant talents.
694
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:37,957
I... I... I can't take on dragons, sir.
695
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:39,837
I'm not the St George type.
696
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:44,630
I might be able to put in a word for you
promotion-wise
697
00:41:44,720 --> 00:41:46,278
if you agree to co-operate.
698
00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:48,878
I'm too young, sir.
699
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:51,428
Nonsense. How old are you? 43? 44?
700
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:53,636
I'm just pushing 35!
701
00:41:53,720 --> 00:41:57,235
Hmm. Well, you look older.
Probably because you're the pushing type.
702
00:41:57,320 --> 00:41:59,629
Let me off this one, sir, please.
703
00:41:59,720 --> 00:42:02,075
Oh, please. Look, I'll find someone else.
704
00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:05,390
Please, sir.
705
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:08,313
Very well. I'll give you a free hand.
706
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:12,989
But love she needs and love she must get.
707
00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:14,957
I'll do my best, love. Er... sir.
708
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:17,911
Very good.
709
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:23,715
If I do succeed sir,
you will put in a word for me promotion-wise?
710
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:26,109
I'll think about it.
711
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:30,113
We'll both think about it,
won't we, Tweetypie? Eh? Mmm.
712
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:36,114
Where do you think you're going, Mr. Wendover?
713
00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:39,590
I'm not going anywhere, Nurse. I've just been.
For the fifth time.
714
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:41,875
That wasn't a pill you gave me,
that was an H-bomb.
715
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:44,520
You ought to give a pair of roller skates
with that stuff.
716
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:47,717
- Get back into bed at once.
- All right, don't get onto me.
717
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:49,438
Ain't got much strength left.
718
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:51,476
Takes it out of you, that stuff.
719
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:04,795
- What's the matter?
- You're sinking fast, mate.
720
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:06,836
You want to see this.
I know about medicine.
721
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:09,798
They'll be having these screens round
and wheeling you away.
722
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:11,552
I've only got water on the knee.
723
00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:15,155
- Is that what they told you? That's nice.
- Of course that's what they told me.
724
00:43:15,240 --> 00:43:18,755
Well, if they told you what was really wrong,
it'd sap your will to live.
725
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:23,598
Take my advice,
I should start reading short stories.
726
00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:27,916
Hey, mister, do you really know about medicine?
727
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:30,673
Well, naturally, mate.
I wouldn't talk about it otherwise.
728
00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:34,070
It's all in the Home Doctor.
You want to get yourself a copy. A dollar.
729
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:39,234
They told me that my dizziness had something
to do with the chalk balls in my ears.
730
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:41,675
It's something to do with the balance.
731
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:43,990
Every time I stand up, I fall down.
732
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:46,719
Ah, well, you've probably got chalk balls
in your ears.
733
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:49,234
That's what the doctor told me! He's good.
734
00:43:49,320 --> 00:43:52,073
He knows, he knows.
You should have been a doctor.
735
00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:54,674
It's all in there. Borrow it if you want.
Have a look.
736
00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:56,830
It comes under B. "Balls, chalky. "
737
00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:00,317
Was there something Nurse?
738
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:02,356
Take off your pajamas, please.
739
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:05,754
What's the idea, then?
740
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:07,796
You're to have a blanket bath.
741
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:11,713
- What's the matter with a proper bath?
- Matron's orders.
742
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:15,110
All patients are to have a blanket bath daily.
I'm not arguing with Matron.
743
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:17,794
Try it. I'd like to see the person
to give me a blanket bath.
744
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:21,395
Don't be ridiculous, Wendover.
Nurse is going to give me one, too.
745
00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:25,109
You probably enjoy that kind of thing.
You're probably filthier than what I am.
746
00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:26,872
I am not filthy.
747
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:28,871
What do you want a bath for, then?
748
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:32,714
- Take off his pajama jacket, please, Nurse.
- You try it. Leave it alone.
749
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:35,872
- Just leave it. Leave it, if you don't...
- Now, come on.
750
00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:37,632
- Leave it!
- What is going on here?
751
00:44:37,720 --> 00:44:40,473
This patient refuses
to have his blanket bath, Matron.
752
00:44:40,560 --> 00:44:43,757
That's right, Matron. My skin's sensitive.
I'm allergic to soap.
753
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:46,752
Well, I'm allergic to argumentative patients.
Come along.
754
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:48,558
Hey, watch it. Hey, what are you doing?
755
00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:50,039
Don't push your luck, mate.
756
00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:52,759
I used to be middleweight champion, you know.
757
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:55,070
Oh! This is an invasion of my privacy.
758
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:57,390
I shall write to the BBC about this.
759
00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:59,948
- And the Daily Mirror. And...
- Will you shut up?
760
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:01,792
Now, come along.
761
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:03,996
Come along!
762
00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:05,752
Mr. Wendover.
763
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:07,990
That's better.
764
00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:10,355
That's it. It's not so bad, is it, after all?
765
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:11,509
Ow!
766
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:13,318
Hey, Matron,
767
00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:15,516
that's my toe.
768
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:19,149
All right, I give in. I know when I'm beaten.
You might as well take it steady.
769
00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:24,796
My back.
770
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:33,596
Come on, dry him off now.
771
00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:36,959
That's better.
772
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:38,553
- Come along.
- No, I can do that.
773
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:41,552
Come along, come along, don't be modest,
Mr. Wendover.
774
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:44,797
Haven't got all day, you know.
775
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:46,108
There we are, then.
776
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:49,350
Now, feel better after that, don't you?
777
00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:52,512
I do. Matron,
what are you doing for dinner tonight?
778
00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:54,875
I expect he smells a bit better now anyway.
779
00:45:57,640 --> 00:45:59,039
Come on, you're next.
780
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:00,235
Oh, no, Matron, no, no!
781
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:01,833
No, I... I...
782
00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:03,319
Ah!
783
00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:07,238
And what are you laughing at?
784
00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:09,709
I can't wait to see him get a blanket bath.
785
00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:17,078
Your turn, Mr. Parton.
786
00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:19,435
That's enough, Tommy. Go and get dressed.
787
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:25,153
- Hello, Tommy.
- Hello, Doctor.
788
00:46:25,240 --> 00:46:27,879
- There, now.
- Haven't you any work to do, Doctor?
789
00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:29,632
Oh, yes, lashings of it.
790
00:46:29,720 --> 00:46:32,188
You wouldn't be free for dinner tonight,
I suppose?
791
00:46:32,280 --> 00:46:35,875
I'm afraid not. Symie's taking me to the pictures.
792
00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:37,439
Symie?
793
00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:40,592
Lambert Symington. You know him,
he brought you here last weekend.
794
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:43,035
You're surely not interested in him, are you?
795
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:46,999
Well, he's very attractive,
in a funny sort of a way.
796
00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:48,559
Yes, very funny.
797
00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:50,870
I wouldn't be interested in him, if I were you.
798
00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:52,791
He's practically engaged, you know.
799
00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:54,199
Who to?
800
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:58,114
Well, to... to an au pair girl in Bristol.
801
00:46:58,200 --> 00:46:59,997
That's it.
802
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:01,672
German fr�ulein.
803
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:04,752
Damned pretty. Oh!
He likes the Nordic types, you know.
804
00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:07,115
Mm, I didn't know.
805
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:12,672
Yes, so why not, in the circumstances,
cancel your date and come out with me?
806
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:14,796
I don't think I'll do that, if you don't mind.
807
00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:16,757
Well, how about tomorrow evening, then?
808
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:18,273
No.
809
00:47:18,360 --> 00:47:19,713
- Non?
- Non.
810
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:23,473
- Day after?
- No. No.
811
00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:25,073
- Non?
- No.
812
00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:27,196
- I'm not doing very well, am I?
- No.
813
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:35,512
I feel as though I was only 21 today!
814
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:37,158
Dr. Grimsdyke!
815
00:47:37,240 --> 00:47:39,151
What? Ah!
816
00:47:39,240 --> 00:47:41,117
What on earth do you think you're doing?!
817
00:47:57,720 --> 00:48:00,234
- Gaston, I've just heard about...
- Can't you read?
818
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:03,676
It says quite clearly on the door "Do not disturb".
819
00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:06,320
Well, I didn't think that applied to blood relations.
820
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:09,073
- Now, look...
- What's happened to your face?
821
00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:11,310
If you really must know, it's a mudpack.
822
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:14,437
It vanishes wrinkles and bags under the eyes.
823
00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:18,832
Eugh! I look like a very hot Easter egg.
824
00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:21,632
Oh, it's your girlfriend.
825
00:48:21,720 --> 00:48:25,349
I've got to try and look younger than I do
if I'm going to have a chance.
826
00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:27,556
Oh, I say, it's tightening up.
827
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:30,108
Ooh, dear. I don't think I like this.
828
00:48:31,720 --> 00:48:34,314
- Is this to her?
- What is it?
829
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:36,391
It's a bit flowery, isn't it?
830
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:40,109
It's extremely bad manners for a chap to read
another chap's letters.
831
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:44,193
Yes, I know. "Ever since you walked
into the hospital, my life has changed.
832
00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:47,477
I'm... I'm dancing on daffodils"?!
833
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:50,233
That's a bit of a feat for this time of year, isn't it?
834
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:54,279
As it happens, that letter is not intended
for Janine. It's to Matron.
835
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:55,475
Matron?!
836
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:58,870
At Sir Lancelot's request,
I'm trying to get her a man.
837
00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:01,838
Make her calm down.
I don't think I can stand this much longer.
838
00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:03,433
Who's it supposed to be from?
839
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:07,832
It's Lambert Symington, that idiot student
who's been pestering Janine.
840
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:10,229
He's going to be sorry, you know.
841
00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:12,038
How about this bit?
842
00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:16,238
"Until I know my, dare I say it, love is returned,
843
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:19,278
I must sign myself merely LS."
844
00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:21,715
It's rather moving, don't you think?
845
00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:24,792
It's rather a dirty trick to play
on poor old Symington.
846
00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:26,677
All's fair in love and war.
847
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:28,955
I've got to get this off now.
I've had enough.
848
00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:30,553
Give us a hand, will you?
849
00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:32,756
Oh, I say!
850
00:49:32,840 --> 00:49:34,319
Oh, I don't like this.
851
00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:36,470
Ooh! No, look, steady.
852
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:37,993
Keep still!
853
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:39,911
Ooh, the things us girls go through.
854
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:41,035
Ooh!
855
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:46,956
Ah! No! It's caught.
856
00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:49,315
It's your moustache. It's stuck.
857
00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:51,755
Just a minute. I'll cut it off. I'll cut it off.
858
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:55,515
No! No! Good heavens, man,
I'd... I'd be naked without that.
859
00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:59,110
Now, there we are.
860
00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:02,632
I look exactly the same.
861
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:18,235
And what do you think you're doing, Grimsdyke?
862
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:21,236
Carrying out instructions, sir.
863
00:50:22,400 --> 00:50:24,311
Getting Matron a man.
864
00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:33,076
LS?
865
00:50:34,400 --> 00:50:35,674
LS.
866
00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:38,752
Tomorrow, she'll get a nice bouquet, sir.
867
00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:41,836
Well done, Grimsdyke.
868
00:50:41,920 --> 00:50:43,876
- Lancelot Spratt!
- Yes, Matron?
869
00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:47,634
You're looking quite singularly happy. Are you?
870
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:51,274
I er... I don't know.
871
00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:53,032
I... I think I am.
872
00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:54,348
Good. Very good.
873
00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:56,715
Excellent. And now, if you'll excuse me...
874
00:51:42,520 --> 00:51:44,670
You don't have to be rude you lunatic!
875
00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:56,275
Dr. Grimsdyke!
876
00:51:56,360 --> 00:51:58,078
Oh, well...
877
00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:01,630
- I say, what a coincidence.
- Isn't it absolutely amazing?
878
00:52:01,720 --> 00:52:06,157
I'm terribly sorry, Janine.
If I'd have had the slightest idea...
879
00:52:06,240 --> 00:52:07,195
Shh!
880
00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:10,431
Naturally, I'll go and sit somewhere else.
881
00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:12,556
Sit down! I can't see through your back.
882
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:14,596
Terribly sorry, madam. Sorry.
883
00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:25,430
Caterina! Oh, Caterina!
884
00:52:26,480 --> 00:52:29,392
Oh, Caterina, Caterina que tu es belle.
885
00:52:33,680 --> 00:52:34,635
Moi aussi.
886
00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:37,638
Non! Oh non!
887
00:52:37,720 --> 00:52:40,678
- Viens j'ai quelque chose � te dire.- Non! Non!
888
00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:43,513
- Non!- Oh, Caterina! Caterina!
889
00:52:55,080 --> 00:52:56,035
Ah non.
890
00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:59,510
Qu'est-ce que j'ai fait moi? C'est pas possible.
891
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:01,556
T'es une femme mari�e.
892
00:53:03,360 --> 00:53:05,316
J'ai �t� �lev� par mes grandparents.
893
00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:09,518
lls m'ont appris � �tre un bon gar�on
894
00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:13,195
� �couter monsieur le cur�� respecter les dix commandements.
895
00:53:13,280 --> 00:53:16,511
Moi aussi je viens d'une famille pauvremoi aussi je respecte.
896
00:53:16,600 --> 00:53:19,558
Je respecte mes parentsles dix commandements
897
00:53:19,640 --> 00:53:22,108
mais je suis une femme.
898
00:53:22,200 --> 00:53:24,156
Une femme passionn�e.
899
00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:27,838
Une femme mari�e.
900
00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:29,751
Oh, Caterina!
901
00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:32,518
Caterina je me donne!
902
00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:34,511
Moi aussi Pierre moi aussi!
903
00:53:34,600 --> 00:53:36,795
Oh, Caterina!
904
00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:38,199
Oh, Caterina!
905
00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:42,918
Oh, Caterina!
906
00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:45,598
Caterina tu me donnes?
907
00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:47,675
Caterina.
908
00:53:47,760 --> 00:53:49,716
Moi aussi Pierre
909
00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:53,268
Moi aussi je viens d'une famille pauvre
910
00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:56,033
moi aussi je respecte mes parentsles dix commandements.
911
00:53:56,120 --> 00:53:59,795
Je suis une femme passionn�e.
912
00:53:59,880 --> 00:54:01,677
Une femme mari�e.
913
00:54:07,240 --> 00:54:09,037
Tu es une femme mari�e.
914
00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:11,839
J'ai �t� �lev� par mes grandparents.
915
00:54:11,920 --> 00:54:15,595
Ils m'ont appris � �tre un bon gar�onet � �couter monsieur le cur�
916
00:54:15,680 --> 00:54:17,716
� respecter les dix commandements.
917
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:38,996
Oh! Ooh l� l�!
918
00:54:42,240 --> 00:54:45,277
C'est vous ma�tre Benoit Ne tirez pas!
919
00:54:45,360 --> 00:54:47,954
C'est moi, c'est Pierre! Ah!
920
00:54:51,560 --> 00:54:53,516
- Excuse me.
- Oh, yes.
921
00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:59,353
Can I give you two a lift? I thought
we might have a bite together somewhere.
922
00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:01,271
Oh. Oh, well, it's very kind of you, sir...
923
00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:05,035
- You needn't call me sir off duty, Symington.
- Oh, sorry, sir. Force of habit.
924
00:55:05,120 --> 00:55:07,475
- Respect for your advancing years.
- That'll do.
925
00:55:07,560 --> 00:55:08,959
Now, where shall we nosh?
926
00:55:09,040 --> 00:55:10,598
Well, I was trying to explain, sir,
927
00:55:10,680 --> 00:55:13,956
- I always go back to Janine's place afterwards.
- You do? What for?
928
00:55:14,040 --> 00:55:16,156
- Oh, the usual thing.
- Filthy swine!
929
00:55:16,240 --> 00:55:19,073
What's wrong with having a spot of supper
with a girl, sir?
930
00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:23,631
Yeah, I see, but what do you do after supper?
I mean, do you... um, you know?
931
00:55:23,720 --> 00:55:25,836
- Oh, yes, always.
- You filthy swine!
932
00:55:25,920 --> 00:55:29,833
Look, sir, haven't you ever watched television
with a girl?
933
00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:31,558
Yeah, never mind what I do.
934
00:55:31,640 --> 00:55:35,952
You should be studying, not canoodling
in the dark with some innocent little girl.
935
00:55:36,040 --> 00:55:37,439
But she asked me, sir!
936
00:55:37,520 --> 00:55:41,354
It's only when you're a fully qualified doctor
on the threshold of success
937
00:55:41,440 --> 00:55:43,271
that you should take time off at night.
938
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:45,954
Especially as there's another
loves you so dearly.
939
00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:47,951
- Loves me? Who?
- No, shh.
940
00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:51,311
- Ah, there we are, then.
- Good night, sir.
941
00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:53,197
Good night, sir.
942
00:55:53,280 --> 00:55:56,829
He's a nice old chap isn't he?- Yes quite sweet.
943
00:56:02,360 --> 00:56:03,634
Come in.
944
00:56:07,760 --> 00:56:09,716
Looks like you've got an admirer, Matron.
945
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:11,756
Don't be impertinent!
946
00:56:28,280 --> 00:56:29,429
LS.
947
00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:32,398
- Thrombosis.
- What's that?
948
00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:36,439
It says it's a medical term for the formation
of a blood clot within a blood vessel.
949
00:56:36,520 --> 00:56:39,876
If the clot moves from its original position,
you've had it.
950
00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:46,670
How are you feeling this morning, Wendover?
951
00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:49,354
Didn't the nurse tell you?
I had a corona during the night.
952
00:56:49,440 --> 00:56:51,032
- Got it on the chart?
- No.
953
00:56:51,120 --> 00:56:53,588
Well, that's nice, isn't it?
That's very efficient.
954
00:56:53,680 --> 00:56:56,433
I'm lying next to death's door
and nobody's made a note of it.
955
00:56:56,520 --> 00:57:00,149
Can't have been a very serious coronary
if nobody else noticed it, can it?
956
00:57:00,240 --> 00:57:03,391
Not serious? Not serious he says! Not serious!
957
00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:05,118
Did you ring for the night nurse?
958
00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:09,113
- I was rigid, Doctor. Wasn't I, I was rigid?
- He was there rigid. Rigid he was.
959
00:57:09,200 --> 00:57:10,918
I was lying here, I was saying to myself,
960
00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:13,878
"Hello, here comes a blood clot.
I'm having a corona. " Didn't I?
961
00:57:13,960 --> 00:57:15,837
That's what he said. That's what he said.
962
00:57:15,920 --> 00:57:20,038
I lay here and I said... "Tarquin... "
963
00:57:20,120 --> 00:57:22,793
I said, "... this is it son, this is your lot. " Didn't I?
964
00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:27,670
That's what he said. And I would have got up to
help him only I remembered my chalky white...
965
00:57:27,760 --> 00:57:29,876
Yeah, he never forgets those, Doctor.
966
00:57:29,960 --> 00:57:32,872
And old Lord Muck over here,
he didn't lend a hand, did he?
967
00:57:32,960 --> 00:57:35,997
He just laid there snoring
while I was in the valley of darkness.
968
00:57:36,080 --> 00:57:39,834
You seem to have made a remarkable recovery.
Let's have a look at your stomach.
969
00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:42,150
It's cos I knew what to do, though, Doctor.
970
00:57:42,240 --> 00:57:46,631
Lie here rigid and let the clot flow through my
system and disperse itself up my right intestine.
971
00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:49,996
If that clot had stopped on its way
through my brain, I'd have had it.
972
00:57:50,080 --> 00:57:54,039
Yeah, they would have had the screens around
him and he would have been wheeled away.
973
00:57:54,120 --> 00:57:55,951
- Does that hurt?
- No.
974
00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:58,474
- Does that?
- No.
975
00:57:58,560 --> 00:58:00,915
- Does that?
- Ooh-ahh!
976
00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:03,560
I think we shall have to open you up, Wendover.
977
00:58:03,640 --> 00:58:06,632
Open me up? I'm not a tin of baked beans,
you know. What for?
978
00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:07,914
See what's inside.
979
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:10,150
But you don't even know what you're looking for.
980
00:58:10,240 --> 00:58:13,152
You're not leading a search party
through my abdominal regions.
981
00:58:13,240 --> 00:58:17,199
I would have you know, Wendover,
that I've explored more abdominal cavities
982
00:58:17,280 --> 00:58:19,350
than you've filled in football pools.
983
00:58:19,440 --> 00:58:21,590
And with far greater success.
984
00:58:21,680 --> 00:58:25,275
Furthermore, if I decide
that it is necessary to open you up
985
00:58:25,360 --> 00:58:27,316
from here...
986
00:58:28,680 --> 00:58:30,033
...to there...
987
00:58:30,120 --> 00:58:32,395
and from there...
988
00:58:32,480 --> 00:58:34,710
to there, opened up you will be.
989
00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:37,678
I never did like keyhole surgery at any time.
990
00:58:38,720 --> 00:58:40,676
Good day to you.
991
00:58:40,760 --> 00:58:42,637
Oh, that's nice.
992
00:58:42,720 --> 00:58:45,234
First of all he thinks I'm a tin of baked beans
993
00:58:45,320 --> 00:58:47,276
and now he thinks I'm a hot cross bun!
994
00:58:49,520 --> 00:58:51,158
Marvelous, innit?
995
00:58:52,440 --> 00:58:54,829
- Good morning, Sir Lancelot.
- Morning, Matron.
996
00:58:54,920 --> 00:58:57,878
Morning, ladies.
Ah, Mrs. Baker, how are we today?
997
00:58:57,960 --> 00:59:02,112
Oh, much better, Doctor,
since dear Tweetypie came back.
998
00:59:03,640 --> 00:59:06,234
What on earth made you do that Matron?
999
00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:09,073
I thought the matter over
and decided you were right.
1000
00:59:09,160 --> 00:59:10,991
Morale is more important than anything.
1001
00:59:11,080 --> 00:59:13,958
I never expected we should come
to an understanding so quickly.
1002
00:59:14,040 --> 00:59:16,110
May I accompany you
on the rest of your rounds?
1003
00:59:16,200 --> 00:59:18,555
I should be honored. Morning, ladies.
1004
00:59:18,640 --> 00:59:21,108
Goodbye. Goodbye.
1005
00:59:21,200 --> 00:59:22,952
I wanted a word with you anyway.
1006
00:59:23,040 --> 00:59:24,917
Oh? Er, Sister.
1007
00:59:27,160 --> 00:59:28,673
What about?
1008
00:59:28,760 --> 00:59:30,955
Oh, this terrible television thing.
1009
00:59:31,040 --> 00:59:33,315
Oh, I'm afraid I don't know anything about that.
1010
00:59:33,400 --> 00:59:36,870
Some idiotic programme
called The Hands Of A Surgeon.
1011
00:59:36,960 --> 00:59:39,520
They want to televise
an operation from our theatre.
1012
00:59:39,600 --> 00:59:41,636
With you as the star?
1013
00:59:41,720 --> 00:59:44,792
Well, you could put it that way.
Yes, with me as the star.
1014
00:59:44,880 --> 00:59:48,555
Naturally, I should want the use
of the best nursing staff available.
1015
00:59:48,640 --> 00:59:50,232
Oh, of course, Sir Lancelot.
1016
00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:01,470
Grimsdyke, what are you doing here?
I thought you were working in Research.
1017
01:00:01,560 --> 01:00:05,075
Yes, so I am. I'm hoping to become
a bit of an expert on rejuvenation.
1018
01:00:05,160 --> 01:00:08,311
So I thought I'd come down here
and study the kiddies for a bit.
1019
01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:10,789
Mm. Hello, Tommy, how are you getting on?
1020
01:00:10,880 --> 01:00:12,199
All right, thank you, sir.
1021
01:00:12,280 --> 01:00:15,397
- Well, have you finished your studies, Doctor?
- Yes, well, I... I...
1022
01:00:15,480 --> 01:00:17,835
Then I expect you'll want
to get back to Research.
1023
01:00:17,920 --> 01:00:19,876
Yes, of course, Matron, right away.
1024
01:00:28,680 --> 01:00:31,194
I'll save you Matron!
1025
01:00:33,240 --> 01:00:36,630
All right, I've got you. Don't worry! Don't worry!
1026
01:00:42,560 --> 01:00:44,790
Good heavens, Grimsdyke!
1027
01:00:44,880 --> 01:00:47,155
Stop all this malarkey!
1028
01:00:47,240 --> 01:00:49,834
- It's only three foot deep!
- What? Oh.
1029
01:00:49,920 --> 01:00:51,194
So it is, sir.
1030
01:00:51,280 --> 01:00:53,316
I say, I think she really is drowning.
1031
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:57,279
Waterlogged, I fancy, sir. She was going down
for the third time when I saved her.
1032
01:00:57,360 --> 01:00:59,715
Well, you didn't want her to drown... did you, sir?
1033
01:00:59,800 --> 01:01:02,519
Bit of artificial respiration
and she'll be as good as new.
1034
01:01:02,600 --> 01:01:04,556
Look, give her the kiss of life, sir.
1035
01:01:08,160 --> 01:01:10,116
Oh, Sir Lancelot!
1036
01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:23,589
Oh, Miles, can you spare me a minute?
1037
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:24,874
Excuse me, won't you, miss?
1038
01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:28,794
Watch it, mate.
1039
01:01:28,880 --> 01:01:31,235
I beg your pardon... sir.
1040
01:01:33,520 --> 01:01:37,559
You can put on your shirt. Take this down
to the dispensary, they'll make it up for you.
1041
01:01:38,600 --> 01:01:39,874
What is it, Gaston?
1042
01:01:39,960 --> 01:01:43,111
It's Janine. She won't look at me.
She says I'm too old.
1043
01:01:44,160 --> 01:01:47,072
This is no laughing matter.
You've got to help me regain my youth.
1044
01:01:47,160 --> 01:01:48,912
I'll do anything, Miles. Anything.
1045
01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:51,639
I'd even promise not to go after Halfbeck's job.
1046
01:01:51,720 --> 01:01:53,551
Have you tried Dextranome 90?
1047
01:01:53,640 --> 01:01:55,517
No, but I will. What is it?
1048
01:01:55,600 --> 01:01:59,070
Well, it's a sort of um... super pick-me-up
for old people.
1049
01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:01,515
One injection takes 10 years off your age.
1050
01:02:01,600 --> 01:02:03,272
Ten years!
1051
01:02:03,360 --> 01:02:04,998
Well, for about 12 hours.
1052
01:02:05,080 --> 01:02:08,516
That'd be a help.
I'll take some before the nurses' dance.
1053
01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:10,477
You get a reaction when it's worn off.
1054
01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:13,438
Thanks, Miles, you're a real friend.
Where do I get this stuff?
1055
01:02:13,520 --> 01:02:15,590
Well, there should be a bottle in Research.
1056
01:02:15,680 --> 01:02:18,114
But it's still in the experimental stage.
1057
01:02:18,200 --> 01:02:21,397
Doctor! There's been an accident!
1058
01:02:21,480 --> 01:02:24,870
Rock Stewart the film star.
Can you see him right away?
1059
01:02:25,960 --> 01:02:27,188
Of course.
1060
01:02:37,040 --> 01:02:40,191
- What happened?
- We're shooting this big battle scene at Dieppe,
1061
01:02:40,280 --> 01:02:43,352
and Rock orders the boys to attack
and gets a splinter in his hand.
1062
01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:44,839
A shell splinter?
1063
01:02:44,920 --> 01:02:48,435
No, no, no. No, it was... a splinter
from the wooden grenade he was holding.
1064
01:02:48,520 --> 01:02:50,476
We got him here as soon as possible.
1065
01:02:50,560 --> 01:02:52,312
Sit down, please, will you?
1066
01:02:52,400 --> 01:02:55,597
Take it easy, Rock boy,
it'll all be over as soon as you know it.
1067
01:02:55,680 --> 01:02:59,559
You won't have any trouble with him, doc.
He got the VC in his last picture.
1068
01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:05,275
- Ooh!
- There we are. All over.
1069
01:03:06,680 --> 01:03:08,716
Will it... leave a scar?
1070
01:03:08,800 --> 01:03:11,712
No, no. You can go straight back to work.
1071
01:03:11,800 --> 01:03:14,712
You mean I don't have to lie down
and rest for an hour or so?
1072
01:03:14,800 --> 01:03:16,756
No.
1073
01:03:16,840 --> 01:03:19,115
But, Doctor, how can I thank you?
You saved my life.
1074
01:03:19,200 --> 01:03:20,918
Is there anything I can do for you?
1075
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:22,911
An autograph? Autographed photo?
1076
01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:26,879
No, but perhaps you could tell me
how you manage to look so young.
1077
01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:29,672
Well, I'm only 35.
1078
01:03:29,760 --> 01:03:31,671
35?
1079
01:03:33,640 --> 01:03:36,712
But I saw you in films when I was only ten.
1080
01:03:36,800 --> 01:03:38,597
35!
1081
01:03:38,680 --> 01:03:40,079
I said I was 35.
1082
01:03:42,040 --> 01:03:43,871
Or would you like a belt in the mouth?
1083
01:03:43,960 --> 01:03:45,678
Yeah, well, that would be very nice.
1084
01:03:46,720 --> 01:03:48,631
Who's going to give it to me?
1085
01:03:48,720 --> 01:03:51,234
Well... he will.
1086
01:03:52,560 --> 01:03:54,869
Er... Come on, kid,
back to the Normandy beaches.
1087
01:03:54,960 --> 01:03:56,871
- Thanks a lot, doc.
- That's all right.
1088
01:03:56,960 --> 01:03:59,030
He must be at least 50!
1089
01:03:59,120 --> 01:04:00,235
How does he do it?
1090
01:04:00,320 --> 01:04:02,675
A bit of everything, I expect.
1091
01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:05,149
Well, it's the image he creates.
1092
01:04:05,240 --> 01:04:07,196
That's it, Miles. It's the image.
1093
01:04:07,280 --> 01:04:08,918
That's what I need to create.
1094
01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:10,479
A new image.
1095
01:04:10,560 --> 01:04:13,836
A new Gaston Grimsdyke.
1096
01:04:13,920 --> 01:04:15,876
That and a little Dextranome 90...
1097
01:04:17,480 --> 01:04:18,913
...and the girl is mine.
1098
01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:20,956
Take A Look At Me
1099
01:05:01,320 --> 01:05:02,799
Can I help you, sir?
1100
01:05:02,880 --> 01:05:04,836
Er... yes.
1101
01:05:04,920 --> 01:05:07,718
I want to get something with-it
to wear at a dance.
1102
01:05:07,800 --> 01:05:09,358
For your son?
1103
01:05:09,440 --> 01:05:11,749
What size?
1104
01:05:11,840 --> 01:05:13,956
Well, no, actually, it's um...
1105
01:05:14,040 --> 01:05:15,553
it's for me.
1106
01:05:16,600 --> 01:05:19,637
That's fine, sir.
We get quite a lot of older customers.
1107
01:05:20,680 --> 01:05:24,150
That's the whole point.
I want to stop looking older and start...
1108
01:05:25,200 --> 01:05:27,156
...getting younger.
1109
01:05:28,760 --> 01:05:31,672
Well, we'll do what we can about the clothes, sir,
1110
01:05:31,760 --> 01:05:33,716
but um... physically, I mean...
1111
01:05:35,320 --> 01:05:37,276
What do you mean?
1112
01:05:37,360 --> 01:05:41,797
Well, your hair, for a start, sir.
It's a bit old world, isn't it?
1113
01:05:42,840 --> 01:05:44,796
Well... Is it?
1114
01:05:44,880 --> 01:05:47,189
Where do you suggest I get it cut, then?
1115
01:05:47,280 --> 01:05:50,192
I don't think you ought to lose any more, sir.
1116
01:05:50,280 --> 01:05:52,316
You could have it styled.
1117
01:05:52,400 --> 01:05:54,675
Try Robert of Tight Street.
1118
01:05:54,760 --> 01:05:56,751
If you can get an appointment.
1119
01:05:56,840 --> 01:05:58,796
- Excuse me.
- Yeah, sure.
1120
01:06:16,800 --> 01:06:20,031
Yes, well, we'll have to let this grow.
1121
01:06:20,120 --> 01:06:24,511
And then we can move this up and round,
softening the lines of the forehead,
1122
01:06:24,600 --> 01:06:28,434
widen the face, bringing up all the highlights,
1123
01:06:28,520 --> 01:06:31,592
and giving you that schoolboy look... all over.
1124
01:06:31,680 --> 01:06:33,796
Can you really make me look as young
as all that?
1125
01:06:33,880 --> 01:06:35,757
Hmm.
1126
01:06:35,840 --> 01:06:38,434
And we really ought to get rid
of our ghastly moustache.
1127
01:06:38,520 --> 01:06:40,112
They're right out now, you know.
1128
01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:43,192
Oh, no, no. No. It makes me look younger.
1129
01:06:43,280 --> 01:06:44,872
By the time I've finished with you,
1130
01:06:44,960 --> 01:06:47,918
you'll look so young,
you won't even be able to grow a moustache.
1131
01:06:51,400 --> 01:06:53,356
It's awfully tired.
1132
01:06:54,400 --> 01:06:57,119
Would you consider wearing a piece?
1133
01:07:09,160 --> 01:07:10,354
Hello there, babies.
1134
01:07:13,280 --> 01:07:16,397
- Gaston!
- Yeah, yeah! What do you think, eh?
1135
01:07:16,480 --> 01:07:18,232
Amazing.
1136
01:07:18,320 --> 01:07:19,833
I think it's super.
1137
01:07:19,920 --> 01:07:22,480
- You should try the same treatment.
- Me?!
1138
01:07:22,560 --> 01:07:24,835
Why not? You'd look fab in the right gear.
1139
01:07:24,920 --> 01:07:27,070
You're coming to the nurses' dance, aren't you?
1140
01:07:27,160 --> 01:07:29,151
I might need your moral support.
1141
01:07:29,240 --> 01:07:30,992
Don't worry, I'll do what I can to help.
1142
01:07:56,000 --> 01:07:57,956
Mm.
1143
01:07:59,360 --> 01:08:01,555
Now, er...
1144
01:08:01,640 --> 01:08:03,596
Oh, dear.
1145
01:08:04,360 --> 01:08:06,590
- You wanted to see me, sir?
- Yes.
1146
01:08:06,680 --> 01:08:09,069
You are Dr. Grimsdyke, aren't you, sir?
1147
01:08:09,160 --> 01:08:11,310
Well, of course I am.
1148
01:08:11,400 --> 01:08:13,311
Couple of things. Um...
1149
01:08:15,320 --> 01:08:19,359
- First, I'd like you to help me with this injection.
It's anti-flu.
1150
01:08:19,440 --> 01:08:21,317
- I'm sorry.
- Oh.
1151
01:08:21,400 --> 01:08:23,789
Mm, jolly good. Wonder if I could have one, sir.
1152
01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:28,356
Er... Yeah, well...
Got a bit of a taste for it, have you?
1153
01:08:30,040 --> 01:08:34,079
I'm sorry. Look, it's the last one, and as I've got
a bit of a cold coming on, you know...
1154
01:08:34,160 --> 01:08:37,277
- Never mind, what was the other thing?
- Something for Sir Lancelot.
1155
01:08:37,360 --> 01:08:41,956
I don't know who you're taking to the dance
tonight but I'm afraid you'll have to cancel it.
1156
01:08:42,040 --> 01:08:42,995
What?
1157
01:08:43,080 --> 01:08:44,559
But, sir, I've already promised!
1158
01:08:44,640 --> 01:08:46,870
Sorry, old chap, Sir Lancelot's orders.
1159
01:08:47,640 --> 01:08:50,108
He wants you to... take care of Matron.
1160
01:08:50,200 --> 01:08:52,191
Matron?!
1161
01:08:52,280 --> 01:08:54,157
That's it.
1162
01:08:54,240 --> 01:08:56,913
It seems that she'd like to have
a nice younger man like you
1163
01:08:57,000 --> 01:08:58,399
to look after her.
1164
01:08:58,480 --> 01:09:01,040
I say, sir,
Janine's going to be awfully disappointed.
1165
01:09:01,120 --> 01:09:04,635
Oh, I don't see why.
I mean, it's not as if she's keen on you, is it?
1166
01:09:04,720 --> 01:09:08,474
I tell you what, I'll... I'll take care of her, if you like.
1167
01:09:08,560 --> 01:09:10,516
Oh. I say, it's awfully good of you, sir.
1168
01:09:10,600 --> 01:09:12,352
- Oh, I don't mind, really.
- No, no...
1169
01:09:12,440 --> 01:09:14,874
Honestly, I don't mind. It'll be a pleasure, really.
1170
01:09:14,960 --> 01:09:17,394
- Oh, no, sir.
- Now, look, I absolutely insist.
1171
01:09:17,480 --> 01:09:18,833
There we are. Get hold of that.
1172
01:09:18,920 --> 01:09:22,356
Now, pop it in the old rumpo, shall we?
Now, get it in quick, don't mess about.
1173
01:09:24,360 --> 01:09:25,759
Whoop! Oh, I say!
1174
01:09:25,840 --> 01:09:27,319
Oh my golly!
1175
01:09:27,400 --> 01:09:29,038
Excuse me.
1176
01:09:31,240 --> 01:09:32,878
Excuse me butting in, Doctor.
1177
01:09:32,960 --> 01:09:36,032
I know it's irregular,
but I wonder if I might have a word with Symie?
1178
01:09:36,120 --> 01:09:39,999
Oh, well, we were just having a chat ourselves.
Didn't mean to be irregular.
1179
01:09:41,240 --> 01:09:42,992
Hello, Tommy.
1180
01:09:43,080 --> 01:09:45,674
This is private.
Could you come with me in the corridor?
1181
01:09:45,760 --> 01:09:49,150
No necessity. I was just about to go out myself.
Excuse me, won't you?
1182
01:09:49,240 --> 01:09:52,357
I... won't... won't be long.
I'm... just gonna have a... you know.
1183
01:09:54,400 --> 01:09:56,197
Ooh! What the devil..?
1184
01:09:56,280 --> 01:09:59,590
- What was in that?
- Er... Only an anti-flu injection, sir.
1185
01:09:59,680 --> 01:10:02,956
And what leads you to suppose
that I'm in need of an anti-flu injection?
1186
01:10:03,040 --> 01:10:04,678
Oh, not much went up... in sir.
1187
01:10:04,760 --> 01:10:07,718
The quantity's immaterial.
When I transferred you to Research,
1188
01:10:07,800 --> 01:10:10,473
I hardly expected you to use me
as one of your guinea pigs.
1189
01:10:10,560 --> 01:10:11,913
Do I look like a guinea pig?
1190
01:10:12,000 --> 01:10:13,911
No, sir. You look more like a pussy cat.
1191
01:10:15,400 --> 01:10:17,960
Well, that is... It was an accident, sir.
1192
01:10:18,040 --> 01:10:21,077
You've no right to wander round
with a loaded syringe in your hand.
1193
01:10:21,160 --> 01:10:22,991
No, sir. Won't happen again, sir.
1194
01:10:23,080 --> 01:10:25,036
I should think not!
1195
01:10:45,200 --> 01:10:47,839
- Hello, Grimmy, ready for the hop?
- Yes, of course, sir.
1196
01:10:47,920 --> 01:10:50,150
Don't call me sir! Call me Porker.
1197
01:10:50,240 --> 01:10:52,196
I think we're going to have a ball tonight.
1198
01:10:52,280 --> 01:10:53,554
All right... Porker.
1199
01:10:53,640 --> 01:10:56,108
Do you approve?
Thought I'd give the nurses a treat.
1200
01:10:56,200 --> 01:10:57,519
I think you will, sir.
1201
01:10:57,600 --> 01:11:02,116
The kilt has certain considerable advantages.
Especially if a chap's got sexy knees.
1202
01:11:02,200 --> 01:11:03,679
Are you feeling all right, sir?
1203
01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:06,513
Never felt better. Ready for a hard day's night.
1204
01:11:06,600 --> 01:11:08,591
I hope you remembered to bring your flask.
1205
01:11:10,080 --> 01:11:13,277
Makes the orangeade taste better
and makes the nurses friendlier.
1206
01:11:13,360 --> 01:11:15,316
Never forgot mine when I was a student.
1207
01:11:15,400 --> 01:11:16,879
Nor me, sir.
1208
01:11:16,960 --> 01:11:18,632
Snap!
1209
01:11:19,680 --> 01:11:22,319
I've got some other stuff
to make the party go with a swing.
1210
01:11:22,400 --> 01:11:23,355
Oh, what's this, sir?
1211
01:11:23,440 --> 01:11:26,352
It's something new
they're experimenting with in Psychiatry.
1212
01:11:26,440 --> 01:11:29,876
It makes everybody roar with laughter
and it might make the party very jolly.
1213
01:11:29,960 --> 01:11:32,030
Is it a sort of laughing gas?
1214
01:11:32,120 --> 01:11:33,758
Well...
1215
01:11:34,800 --> 01:11:37,951
Do you think we ought to, sir?
It's a bit schoolboyish, isn't it?
1216
01:11:38,040 --> 01:11:41,032
Don't be such an old fuddy-duddy, Grimmy.
1217
01:11:41,120 --> 01:11:43,554
The night's young and so am I,
even if you aren't.
1218
01:11:43,640 --> 01:11:45,119
What have you got there?
1219
01:11:48,520 --> 01:11:50,397
Mm. Mmm!
1220
01:11:50,480 --> 01:11:53,392
I'm going to be absolutely irresistible tonight.
1221
01:11:57,560 --> 01:11:58,993
Yes, Porker.
1222
01:12:01,200 --> 01:12:03,156
Take A Look At Me
1223
01:12:11,520 --> 01:12:12,999
You're looking after Matron?
1224
01:12:13,080 --> 01:12:16,390
Well, Dr. Grimsdyke said I ought to.
1225
01:12:45,120 --> 01:12:47,270
Stuff that under the desk.
1226
01:12:47,360 --> 01:12:50,193
If anybody asks what it is, say it's prizes.
1227
01:12:50,280 --> 01:12:51,872
Prizes, yeah. Shall I turn it on now?
1228
01:12:51,960 --> 01:12:54,838
No, no, no. Wait till the party starts flagging a bit.
1229
01:13:04,640 --> 01:13:06,870
Come and have a little run around with me.
1230
01:13:20,720 --> 01:13:23,393
- Miles. Miles, I've got to talk to you.
- What do you want now?
1231
01:13:23,480 --> 01:13:25,914
It's... It's Sir Lancelot,
he's had my Dextranome 90.
1232
01:13:26,000 --> 01:13:30,232
- What?! What did you want to give it to him for?
- It was an accident, you fool!
1233
01:13:30,320 --> 01:13:34,279
You better keep your eye on him.
He might try and swipe your girlfriend.
1234
01:14:06,160 --> 01:14:09,630
- Are you not dancing, Doctor?
- No, I've only just arrived.
1235
01:14:09,720 --> 01:14:12,280
- Anyway, it's not my kind of dance.
- I'll show you how.
1236
01:14:12,360 --> 01:14:14,635
- No, no, I can't do this.
- I'd love to teach you.
1237
01:14:14,720 --> 01:14:16,551
- No, no, look...
- It's quite simple.
1238
01:14:16,640 --> 01:14:19,438
- I'm a foxtrot man, really.
- Well, we'll do the shake.
1239
01:14:19,520 --> 01:14:21,476
Come on.
1240
01:14:30,200 --> 01:14:32,191
Come on, let's go and change the music.
1241
01:14:32,280 --> 01:14:34,157
I'll shake him, I tell you.
1242
01:14:40,320 --> 01:14:43,437
Put on some Scottish country dancing.
This party needs livening up.
1243
01:14:43,520 --> 01:14:45,988
- Yes, sir.
- Come on, Grimmy, you can be in my set.
1244
01:14:46,080 --> 01:14:48,036
What? Oh.
1245
01:15:40,720 --> 01:15:42,312
Hello, Matron.
1246
01:15:45,800 --> 01:15:49,190
Oh! It's thirsty work watching all this dancing.
1247
01:15:49,280 --> 01:15:50,235
It is.
1248
01:15:50,320 --> 01:15:52,834
I wonder if I might have
a little orangeade, Sister?
1249
01:15:53,880 --> 01:15:55,677
Sister!
1250
01:15:55,760 --> 01:15:57,273
Certainly, Matron.
1251
01:16:00,560 --> 01:16:05,873
Well, certainly. If she wants a drink,
she can have one. A fresh one.
1252
01:16:05,960 --> 01:16:08,713
Good evening, Sister.
Are you having a good time?
1253
01:16:08,800 --> 01:16:09,994
Hardly.
1254
01:16:14,600 --> 01:16:16,556
Ah, thank you.
1255
01:16:29,400 --> 01:16:31,197
Sister!
1256
01:16:31,280 --> 01:16:33,032
These drinks have been doctored!
1257
01:16:34,120 --> 01:16:36,588
I smell trouble, Grimmy. Turn on the doings.
1258
01:16:36,680 --> 01:16:38,636
- What, do you mean now?
- Yes.
1259
01:16:41,360 --> 01:16:43,316
Stop the music!
1260
01:16:44,520 --> 01:16:46,272
Turn that gramophone thing off!
1261
01:16:48,520 --> 01:16:50,317
Silence!
1262
01:16:54,560 --> 01:16:55,629
Silence!
1263
01:16:57,760 --> 01:17:00,274
Ladies...
1264
01:17:00,360 --> 01:17:03,397
and I will not say "gentlemen",
under the circumstances.
1265
01:17:03,480 --> 01:17:06,313
It has come to my attention
1266
01:17:06,400 --> 01:17:11,076
that alcohol has been added to the teetotalbeverages provided for this function.
1267
01:17:12,160 --> 01:17:16,119
I am aware of the infantile pranks
of medical students...
1268
01:17:19,280 --> 01:17:20,952
I beg your pardon?!
1269
01:17:25,760 --> 01:17:27,478
As I was saying...
1270
01:17:29,200 --> 01:17:31,156
...I am aware...
1271
01:17:33,160 --> 01:17:35,116
...of the infantile pranks...
1272
01:17:37,880 --> 01:17:39,836
...of medical students!
1273
01:17:45,640 --> 01:17:47,596
This behavior...
1274
01:17:48,880 --> 01:17:50,632
...is disgraceful...
1275
01:17:51,680 --> 01:17:53,636
...disgusting, disinfect!
1276
01:18:01,240 --> 01:18:03,196
And... And it is something...
1277
01:18:04,800 --> 01:18:07,075
...either nye... neither I...
1278
01:18:09,760 --> 01:18:11,398
...nor the medical authorities...
1279
01:18:12,440 --> 01:18:14,396
...will tolerate for one moment!
1280
01:19:09,640 --> 01:19:13,110
There's nothing like a drop of gas
to make the party come alive.
1281
01:19:14,400 --> 01:19:16,231
Oh, dear old Porker!
1282
01:19:17,440 --> 01:19:20,079
How nice to hear the young
enjoying themselves.
1283
01:19:20,160 --> 01:19:21,559
It's gone 11, Dean.
1284
01:19:21,640 --> 01:19:24,552
Yes, I think we must close the jollities shortly.
1285
01:19:29,720 --> 01:19:31,631
Oh, it's awful! It's awful!
1286
01:19:32,720 --> 01:19:35,473
- I wouldn't eat that to save my life!
- No, nor would I.
1287
01:19:44,560 --> 01:19:46,949
Look! This is outrageous!
1288
01:19:47,040 --> 01:19:48,837
Is it? Yes, I suppose it is.
1289
01:19:49,920 --> 01:19:52,673
They're playing our tune!
Come on, Matron.
1290
01:19:56,600 --> 01:19:58,556
It's marvelous.
1291
01:21:07,640 --> 01:21:10,074
Marvelous! Marvelous!
1292
01:21:10,160 --> 01:21:13,038
The sick and dying are
doing their best to get a bit of kip
1293
01:21:13,120 --> 01:21:15,236
and there's a bacchanalian orgy going on!
1294
01:21:16,640 --> 01:21:18,790
What are you doing out of bed, Wendover?
1295
01:21:21,000 --> 01:21:25,198
There's a lot of people back there
doing their best to get a bit of rest.
1296
01:21:28,160 --> 01:21:30,276
Look, it's no laughing matter, you know.
1297
01:21:30,360 --> 01:21:33,193
I'm asking you...
I'm asking you as a humanitar...
1298
01:21:37,600 --> 01:21:39,556
No, no! Ooh!
1299
01:21:41,400 --> 01:21:43,356
You can't! You can't!
1300
01:21:46,680 --> 01:21:49,558
Ooh, I shouldn't be laughing like this,
I've got a weak heart.
1301
01:21:49,640 --> 01:21:51,596
Ooh, my heart!
1302
01:22:03,040 --> 01:22:04,996
Mm?
1303
01:22:07,840 --> 01:22:09,592
Oh dear.
1304
01:22:09,680 --> 01:22:11,636
Morning, sir. Morning.
1305
01:22:18,120 --> 01:22:20,076
How are you feeling?
1306
01:22:21,200 --> 01:22:23,156
Hm?
1307
01:22:25,600 --> 01:22:28,717
I feel as if my head's been trepanned
with a boathook.
1308
01:22:28,800 --> 01:22:30,552
You're lucky. I haven't even got a head.
1309
01:22:31,600 --> 01:22:34,831
You're over a ton. 101, to be precise.
1310
01:22:34,920 --> 01:22:39,038
Rubbish. Must be broken. I've never known
a normal hangover produce that.
1311
01:22:39,120 --> 01:22:40,872
You've probably got the flu.
1312
01:22:40,960 --> 01:22:42,473
There's a lot of it about, you know.
1313
01:22:42,560 --> 01:22:44,516
I never get flu.
1314
01:22:45,600 --> 01:22:48,398
Besides, you gave me an injection against it,
didn't you?
1315
01:22:48,480 --> 01:22:50,311
What?
1316
01:22:50,400 --> 01:22:52,356
Oh, yes.
1317
01:22:52,440 --> 01:22:56,513
Oh, I'd forgotten about that. Perhaps it was
all those draughts blowing up your kilt.
1318
01:22:56,600 --> 01:22:58,192
Don't be impertinent.
1319
01:22:59,280 --> 01:23:00,838
How did I get home?
1320
01:23:00,920 --> 01:23:02,831
I brought you.
1321
01:23:02,920 --> 01:23:04,956
By car?
1322
01:23:05,040 --> 01:23:07,429
No. By operating trolley.
1323
01:23:07,520 --> 01:23:09,476
Ooh.
1324
01:23:10,640 --> 01:23:14,076
Did I dream it or did I dance the black bottom
with Matron last night?
1325
01:23:14,160 --> 01:23:16,116
You certainly didn't dream it.
1326
01:23:16,200 --> 01:23:19,636
You finished up giving her
a dirty great tickly wet kiss.
1327
01:23:19,720 --> 01:23:21,551
Ooh, it was nasty, it was.
1328
01:23:21,640 --> 01:23:23,551
I see.
1329
01:23:23,640 --> 01:23:29,112
And I didn't dream that she thanked me
for my note and a bouquet of flowers?
1330
01:23:29,200 --> 01:23:32,476
She couldn't have.
You didn't send her a note or any flowers.
1331
01:23:33,520 --> 01:23:35,238
But she quoted at me...
1332
01:23:35,320 --> 01:23:38,790
"Ever since you walked into the hospital,
my life has changed.
1333
01:23:38,880 --> 01:23:41,553
I'm dancing on daffodils. "
1334
01:23:42,600 --> 01:23:45,478
No, sir, no. That was Lambert Symington.
1335
01:23:45,560 --> 01:23:48,916
Ooh, I shall never laugh again, you know,
as long as I live.
1336
01:23:50,320 --> 01:23:51,594
Didn't she guess?
1337
01:23:52,640 --> 01:23:54,676
No. Did you write his name clearly?
1338
01:23:54,760 --> 01:23:58,070
No, I just put the initials on.
More intriguing, don't you think, sir?
1339
01:23:58,160 --> 01:24:01,391
I do not. They also happen to be my initials.
1340
01:24:02,600 --> 01:24:05,194
Oh. I never thought of that.
1341
01:24:05,280 --> 01:24:06,793
What are you going to do, sir?
1342
01:24:06,880 --> 01:24:10,395
Well, unless you come up with a better
suggestion, I propose shooting myself.
1343
01:24:10,480 --> 01:24:11,913
Oh, I wouldn't do that, sir.
1344
01:24:12,000 --> 01:24:13,513
No. It's terribly dangerous.
1345
01:24:13,600 --> 01:24:15,272
I'll think of something.
1346
01:24:15,360 --> 01:24:16,839
At least I'll try.
1347
01:24:18,440 --> 01:24:21,238
I do wish they'd get quieter bells, I really do.
1348
01:24:21,320 --> 01:24:22,833
Might be her now, sir.
1349
01:24:24,280 --> 01:24:25,998
Who?
1350
01:24:26,080 --> 01:24:29,516
Oh, it's er... Hold on a moment.
Dr. Grimsdyke, sir.
1351
01:24:29,600 --> 01:24:31,318
Not me. My cousin.
1352
01:24:31,400 --> 01:24:32,879
Excuse me.
1353
01:24:32,960 --> 01:24:34,791
- I feel really terrible.
- Yes?
1354
01:24:34,880 --> 01:24:37,110
It's about Wendover, Sir Lancelot.
1355
01:24:37,200 --> 01:24:40,954
Yes, all right. Better be on the safe side.
Operate immediately.
1356
01:24:41,040 --> 01:24:42,393
Yes, you!
1357
01:24:44,520 --> 01:24:49,435
Because I happen to be in bed with influenza
and a high temperature, that's why.
1358
01:24:49,520 --> 01:24:52,876
The television people will have to point
their cameras at you!
1359
01:25:14,000 --> 01:25:18,232
Obits media.
This term means inflammation of the middle ear.
1360
01:25:18,320 --> 01:25:21,392
Hey, did you know your ear hole
was connected to your throat?
1361
01:25:21,480 --> 01:25:24,517
It's got it in here, look. There's a funny little...
1362
01:25:24,600 --> 01:25:27,194
We've just had another look
at these new X-rays of yours.
1363
01:25:27,280 --> 01:25:30,078
- Oh, yeah? Any good, are they?
- We've located the trouble.
1364
01:25:30,160 --> 01:25:32,720
It's about time, innit?
I suppose it's bad news, is it?
1365
01:25:32,800 --> 01:25:36,076
You needn't be frightened to give it to me.
I can take it. I'm not a coward.
1366
01:25:36,160 --> 01:25:38,993
- I didn't get my medals for nothing.
- It means an operation.
1367
01:25:39,080 --> 01:25:41,548
- Where are you going?
- There's nothing wrong with me.
1368
01:25:41,640 --> 01:25:44,393
There's a great deal wrong.
If we don't operate immediately,
1369
01:25:44,480 --> 01:25:46,232
it could develop into something nasty.
1370
01:25:46,320 --> 01:25:48,914
That's what I thought when I first saw that fella.
1371
01:25:49,000 --> 01:25:51,070
I said, "He won't be here long," I said.
1372
01:25:51,160 --> 01:25:53,469
"His number's in the frame. He'll be going soon. "
1373
01:25:53,560 --> 01:25:55,516
Look, I wish you'd shut up.
1374
01:25:56,720 --> 01:25:58,392
This operation, is it going to hurt?
1375
01:25:58,480 --> 01:26:01,870
No, it's nothing to worry about,
if you give us permission to operate.
1376
01:26:01,960 --> 01:26:04,918
- Right.
- Good man.
1377
01:26:05,000 --> 01:26:07,195
I'll see you later.
1378
01:26:07,280 --> 01:26:10,511
I'll have a pencil and paper, Nurse,
if you don't mind.
1379
01:26:10,600 --> 01:26:12,556
I think I'll make my will out.
1380
01:26:13,920 --> 01:26:16,070
And I'm not going to leave you anything.
1381
01:26:16,160 --> 01:26:17,479
You've nothing to leave.
1382
01:26:17,560 --> 01:26:19,198
Oh, no?
1383
01:26:20,240 --> 01:26:22,196
Being of sound mind and limb,
1384
01:26:23,440 --> 01:26:26,113
I hereby bequeath my brain to the hospital...
1385
01:26:27,800 --> 01:26:29,916
...for medical research.
1386
01:26:30,000 --> 01:26:32,514
Yeah. And they'll put it in a bottle.
1387
01:26:52,000 --> 01:26:54,753
Doctor, you must stop them,
they're ruining my theatre.
1388
01:26:54,840 --> 01:26:57,070
- Who's in charge?
- That man.
1389
01:26:57,160 --> 01:26:59,958
Excuse me, I'm Dr. Grimsdyke.
1390
01:27:00,040 --> 01:27:02,508
You can't have all this... all this stuff in here.
1391
01:27:02,600 --> 01:27:04,670
Hm? Don't worry, we shan't get in the way.
1392
01:27:04,760 --> 01:27:06,716
Grimsdyke? Oh, yes, the understudy.
1393
01:27:06,800 --> 01:27:09,598
Hm, never mind.
Look, I'll tell you what I want you to do.
1394
01:27:09,680 --> 01:27:13,036
- You've got to get all this equipment out of here.
- Yes.
1395
01:27:13,120 --> 01:27:16,999
In television we like to be unobtrusive,
so we'll have Camera 1 above the table
1396
01:27:17,080 --> 01:27:19,435
so that we can zoom into the bowels, as it were,
1397
01:27:19,520 --> 01:27:22,796
while Camera 2 dollies up and down
catching all the vital movements
1398
01:27:22,880 --> 01:27:27,158
of the hands, of the knives, of the oxygen
machine - breathing in, out, in, out.
1399
01:27:27,240 --> 01:27:31,313
And I shall want lots of close-ups of your eyes.
All-important the eyes, you know.
1400
01:27:31,400 --> 01:27:33,550
I want you to express everything with your eyes.
1401
01:27:33,640 --> 01:27:36,632
"Am I cutting in the right place?
Am I using the right scalpel?
1402
01:27:36,720 --> 01:27:38,392
Will the patient live? Will he die?"
1403
01:27:38,480 --> 01:27:41,392
But of course he mustn't die,
because this is a live programme.
1404
01:27:41,480 --> 01:27:44,756
Is all this equipment disinfected?
1405
01:27:44,840 --> 01:27:47,400
This is the 22nd programme
in the present series.
1406
01:27:47,480 --> 01:27:50,199
Have a word with Make-up, will you,
there's a dear fellow?
1407
01:27:50,280 --> 01:27:53,477
We might have to touch up the eyebrows
and build up the nose a bit.
1408
01:27:53,560 --> 01:27:55,357
Come along, Sarah.
1409
01:27:55,440 --> 01:27:56,793
Pity.
1410
01:28:17,840 --> 01:28:20,434
As the patient is wheeled into the theatre,
one can sense,
1411
01:28:20,520 --> 01:28:23,751
even though it is an everyday occurrence,
a certain tenseness growing,
1412
01:28:23,840 --> 01:28:25,910
as if it were the start of a race or a first night.
1413
01:28:26,000 --> 01:28:29,072
But outwardly, the surgeon,
the doctors and nurses appear,
1414
01:28:29,160 --> 01:28:31,594
as they undoubtedly are calm and efficient
1415
01:28:31,680 --> 01:28:36,754
so that this tension is not communicated tothe patient who ideally remains as calm as they...
1416
01:28:36,840 --> 01:28:39,035
- Where the devil have you been?
- Never mind that.
1417
01:28:39,120 --> 01:28:41,918
- What's all these cameras doing in here?
- Don't worry.
1418
01:28:42,000 --> 01:28:45,310
- Your operation's appearing on television.
- Oh, is it?
1419
01:28:45,400 --> 01:28:46,879
Oh, great.
1420
01:28:46,960 --> 01:28:49,394
- Right, who do I see about my fees, then?
- Your fees?!
1421
01:28:49,480 --> 01:28:51,630
I know what they get. Plus repeats. I know my...
1422
01:28:51,720 --> 01:28:53,119
Camera 2...
1423
01:28:54,000 --> 01:28:55,831
hold on... hold on the pretty nurse.
1424
01:28:56,880 --> 01:28:58,074
But as is happening now,
1425
01:28:58,160 --> 01:29:00,071
sometimes the sight of the TV cameras...
1426
01:29:00,160 --> 01:29:03,755
helps the patient even more
by taking his mind off the coming ordeal.
1427
01:29:04,800 --> 01:29:07,792
What's all this about an ordeal?
You told me it wouldn't hurt.
1428
01:29:07,880 --> 01:29:10,952
- Will you get on that table at once?
- Not on your nelly.
1429
01:29:11,040 --> 01:29:14,077
With all this going on?
I don't have to get on here if I don't want to.
1430
01:29:14,160 --> 01:29:18,438
You can't make me. There's not a living soul
that can make me get on that table.
1431
01:29:24,400 --> 01:29:26,356
If I don't want to.
1432
01:29:37,760 --> 01:29:40,513
- What's all this for, then?
- Just going to put you to sleep.
1433
01:29:40,600 --> 01:29:41,794
You won't feel a thing.
1434
01:29:41,880 --> 01:29:43,472
You better give me a full dose.
1435
01:29:43,560 --> 01:29:46,836
Give me slightly more than the full dose.
I'm a bit resilient to all this.
1436
01:29:46,920 --> 01:29:50,469
You had to be during the war,
with all that shrapnel coming at you.
1437
01:29:50,560 --> 01:29:54,075
What camera are we on? Anybody know what
camera we're on? What camera are we on?
1438
01:29:54,160 --> 01:29:56,116
Anybody know what...
1439
01:30:03,000 --> 01:30:04,752
Now the surgeon will make his first cut.
1440
01:30:04,840 --> 01:30:09,152
No hesitation, no indecision,
just a clean, deep cut
1441
01:30:09,240 --> 01:30:10,798
exactly in the right place.
1442
01:30:10,880 --> 01:30:13,917
Steady on, Godfrey,
you're making me feel quite sick.
1443
01:30:15,520 --> 01:30:16,714
Sister, scalpel.
1444
01:30:20,840 --> 01:30:22,068
Good.
1445
01:30:23,120 --> 01:30:25,031
Scalpel.
1446
01:30:25,120 --> 01:30:26,633
Forceps.
1447
01:30:26,720 --> 01:30:30,474
No3 scalpel. Good
1448
01:30:30,560 --> 01:30:32,915
Good. Deeper, man, deeper!
1449
01:30:33,000 --> 01:30:34,638
Come.
1450
01:30:36,480 --> 01:30:37,993
Good evening, Lancelot.
1451
01:30:39,960 --> 01:30:41,029
Let me do that.
1452
01:30:44,640 --> 01:30:46,596
There.
1453
01:30:48,720 --> 01:30:51,518
I know exactly how you feel about me, Lancelot.
1454
01:30:51,600 --> 01:30:55,115
It was courageous and noble of you
to make it so clear in your letters and notes.
1455
01:30:55,200 --> 01:30:58,272
But I don't think you really understand, Matron.
1456
01:30:58,360 --> 01:31:01,193
Oh, yes, I do. And I'm deeply grateful.
1457
01:31:02,600 --> 01:31:04,352
But I'm afraid it won't work.
1458
01:31:05,920 --> 01:31:07,194
It won't work?
1459
01:31:07,280 --> 01:31:09,032
No.
1460
01:31:09,120 --> 01:31:10,917
I am married already.
1461
01:31:11,000 --> 01:31:14,390
I have been married for the last 20 years
to my work as a nurse.
1462
01:31:14,480 --> 01:31:16,675
I couldn't give that up, Lancelot.
1463
01:31:16,760 --> 01:31:18,193
Not even for you.
1464
01:31:18,280 --> 01:31:20,236
And I would be the last to wish you so to do.
1465
01:31:20,320 --> 01:31:24,438
Well, it would be hardly fair to you
to have me always around,
1466
01:31:24,520 --> 01:31:26,272
so near but untouchable.
1467
01:31:26,360 --> 01:31:28,874
It would be absolutely intolerable.
1468
01:31:28,960 --> 01:31:31,599
I think you'd better leave at once.
1469
01:31:31,680 --> 01:31:35,593
I know of a post at the Royal Northern Infirmary
in Inverness.
1470
01:31:35,680 --> 01:31:38,513
I shall recommend you for it, should you so wish.
1471
01:31:38,600 --> 01:31:42,070
Lancelot. Another sacrifice on your part.
1472
01:31:42,160 --> 01:31:43,991
You're almost making me change my mind.
1473
01:31:44,080 --> 01:31:46,036
Oh, no, don't. No, don't, don't.
1474
01:31:46,120 --> 01:31:49,635
You have your vocation, stick to it.
And I'll stick to mine.
1475
01:31:50,680 --> 01:31:55,231
You're getting too excited.
I'll tuck you in and then off to sleep.
1476
01:31:56,280 --> 01:32:00,796
And who knows,
sweet dreams of what might have been.
1477
01:32:03,360 --> 01:32:05,316
Bless you.
1478
01:32:07,560 --> 01:32:09,516
Good night, Lancelot.
1479
01:32:20,680 --> 01:32:22,716
- Good morning, Janine.
- Good morning.
1480
01:32:23,800 --> 01:32:27,110
You're looking particularly lovely this morning,
if I may say so.
1481
01:32:27,200 --> 01:32:29,395
You may. And I have a good reason to be.
1482
01:32:29,480 --> 01:32:32,153
Engaged?! Who to?
1483
01:32:32,240 --> 01:32:34,196
Lambert Symington, of course.
1484
01:32:34,960 --> 01:32:38,191
You can't be serious.
Do you realize what you're missing?
1485
01:32:40,120 --> 01:32:42,554
I happen to know
there are others interested in you.
1486
01:32:42,640 --> 01:32:45,108
- Who?
- One of the doctors here.
1487
01:32:45,200 --> 01:32:47,430
Brilliant chap. Brilliant.
1488
01:32:47,520 --> 01:32:49,909
In line for one of the best jobs in the hospital.
1489
01:32:50,000 --> 01:32:52,309
He's um... He's handsome,
1490
01:32:52,400 --> 01:32:54,595
intellectual,
1491
01:32:54,680 --> 01:32:56,830
charming,
1492
01:32:56,920 --> 01:32:58,353
mature...
1493
01:32:59,640 --> 01:33:01,551
And he happens to be madly in love with you.
1494
01:33:02,720 --> 01:33:05,075
Tell him I'm not interested.
1495
01:33:05,160 --> 01:33:06,752
Tell him I'm in love with Symie.
1496
01:33:06,840 --> 01:33:08,796
And tell him I'm very sorry.
1497
01:33:10,000 --> 01:33:11,274
I see.
1498
01:33:11,360 --> 01:33:13,749
He'll get over it much quicker than you think.
1499
01:33:31,280 --> 01:33:33,748
- Dr. Grimsdyke?
- Yes, sir?
1500
01:33:33,840 --> 01:33:35,478
It's about this job of mine.
1501
01:33:35,560 --> 01:33:39,838
Yes, sir. I've decided to step aside
and let my cousin have it.
1502
01:33:39,920 --> 01:33:41,956
That's what I wanted to say. He's got it.
1503
01:33:43,720 --> 01:33:44,914
So the best man won.
1504
01:33:45,000 --> 01:33:46,718
Don't take it too hard.
1505
01:33:46,800 --> 01:33:50,156
It's not only that your qualificationsweren't quite up to the mark
1506
01:33:50,240 --> 01:33:54,153
but, well, with a responsible job like this,
you look much too young.
1507
01:34:04,480 --> 01:34:07,995
Oh, good morning, Sir Lancelot.
They tell me it was touch and go.
1508
01:34:08,080 --> 01:34:11,789
Hardly that, Wendover,
but the surgeon made a first-class job of it.
1509
01:34:11,880 --> 01:34:16,715
And, incidentally, he asked me to give you this
as a sort of memento of the occasion.
1510
01:34:18,200 --> 01:34:19,872
I hope it brings you luck.
1511
01:34:20,960 --> 01:34:23,315
Very exciting it was on the telly.
1512
01:34:23,400 --> 01:34:26,358
Very exciting. We all thought
you were going to kick the bucket.
1513
01:34:26,440 --> 01:34:28,670
Well, you had another think coming, then.
1514
01:34:28,760 --> 01:34:31,433
Jerry couldn't do it, so I'm sure they couldn't.
1515
01:34:32,520 --> 01:34:34,033
Look at that piece of shrapnel.
1516
01:34:34,120 --> 01:34:37,192
The man on TV said it was
a loose filling from your tooth.
1517
01:34:39,560 --> 01:34:43,712
Oh, did he? Well, he didn't know
what he was talking about. A fat lot he knew.
1518
01:34:43,800 --> 01:34:47,315
I know what that is.
That's a bit of 20mm howitzer, that is.
1519
01:34:47,400 --> 01:34:49,152
I should know, I was a rear gunner.
1520
01:34:49,240 --> 01:34:51,515
Yeah, he ought to know, he was a gunner.
1521
01:34:51,600 --> 01:34:54,353
You'll be a goner an' all if you don't pack up.
1522
01:34:54,440 --> 01:34:56,908
You know what I'm going to do with that?
1523
01:34:57,000 --> 01:35:00,993
I think I'll have that mounted
on a bit of polished mahogany, that.
1524
01:35:01,080 --> 01:35:02,638
That can stand up on my mantelpiece
1525
01:35:02,720 --> 01:35:06,315
next to the propeller of that American plane
that I shot down.
1526
01:35:06,400 --> 01:35:09,198
That can be a permanent monument
to a brave British soldier
1527
01:35:09,280 --> 01:35:13,831
what nearly lost his life...
defending the likes of you,
1528
01:35:13,920 --> 01:35:16,639
with your miserable water on the knees,
1529
01:35:16,720 --> 01:35:20,508
and you,
with your chalky white balls in your ear holes.
1530
01:35:26,760 --> 01:35:29,399
Good morning, Matron. Settling in comfortably?
1531
01:35:29,480 --> 01:35:32,153
- Yes, thank you, Sir Lancelot.
- Delighted to hear it.
1532
01:35:32,240 --> 01:35:34,879
Matron. Excuse me, these are for you.
1533
01:35:34,960 --> 01:35:36,393
For me?
1534
01:35:36,480 --> 01:35:38,436
Oh, put them in my office, will you?
1535
01:35:41,720 --> 01:35:46,635
"My pulse rate is over 100 since you arrived.
GG."
1536
01:35:47,920 --> 01:35:50,878
Gaston Grimsdyke, at your service.
1537
01:35:56,040 --> 01:35:57,632
What has happened to Tweetypie?
1538
01:35:57,720 --> 01:36:01,235
I gave instructions for it to be removed,
Sir Lancelot. Most unhygienic.
1539
01:36:01,320 --> 01:36:03,834
Doubtless you were unaware, my dear Matron,
1540
01:36:03,920 --> 01:36:07,390
that I have previously given instructions
that he should stay.
1541
01:36:07,480 --> 01:36:09,675
I'm sure I don't have to remind you, Sir Lancelot,
1542
01:36:09,760 --> 01:36:12,320
that I am responsible
for the wards of this hospital.
1543
01:36:12,400 --> 01:36:14,356
Very good, Matron.
1544
01:36:19,080 --> 01:36:22,311
- I have another job for you to do.
- I've already started, sir.
1545
01:36:23,360 --> 01:36:25,316
Good day, Matron.
1546
01:36:28,800 --> 01:36:32,315
Matron, how would you suggest
we get my pulse rate down?
1547
01:36:32,400 --> 01:36:34,356
Shall we talk about it?
1548
01:36:35,440 --> 01:36:36,714
Itfc subtitles
1549
01:36:46,715 --> 01:36:49,515
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