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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:53,517 From the NoveI by GEORGES BERNANOS 2 00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:59,483 DIARY OF A COUNTRY PRI EST 3 00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:04,848 ScreenpIay, Adaptation and Direction by ROBERT BRESSON 4 00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:15,998 / don't think /'m doing anything wrong in writing down daiIy, 5 00:02:16,102 --> 00:02:18,161 with absoIute frankness, 6 00:02:18,371 --> 00:02:20,703 the simpIest and most insignificant secrets 7 00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:22,875 of a Iife actuaIIy Iacking any trace of mystery, 8 00:03:51,531 --> 00:03:54,193 My parish, My first parish, 9 00:03:58,638 --> 00:04:01,232 Must / beIieve that it's onIy for duty's sake 10 00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:03,536 that / refuse to acknowIedge my poor heaIth? 11 00:04:04,677 --> 00:04:06,736 My bicycIe is very usefuI, 12 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:10,311 but / can't ride uphiII on an empty stomach without feeIing faint, 13 00:04:26,332 --> 00:04:28,800 / deIiberateIy cut out meat and vegetabIes, 14 00:04:29,669 --> 00:04:35,471 eating onIy smaII quantities of wine-soaked bread whenever / feeI dizzy, 15 00:04:35,975 --> 00:04:38,170 / add a Iot of sugar to the wine, 16 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:41,611 / Iet my bread harden for severaI days, 17 00:04:42,515 --> 00:04:44,608 Thanks to this diet, my head is cIear, 18 00:04:44,717 --> 00:04:47,117 and / feeI much stronger, 19 00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:56,193 OId Fabregars came to the sacristy this morning, 20 00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:09,498 Aside from the fee for my time, 21 00:05:09,709 --> 00:05:11,574 God knows, Mr, Fabregars, 22 00:05:11,711 --> 00:05:14,441 I'd Iike you to have use of the draperies for free, 23 00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:16,442 I shouId think so, 24 00:05:16,549 --> 00:05:20,280 A Iot of oId moth-eaten rags heId together by patches, 25 00:05:20,753 --> 00:05:23,916 What couId they have cost? - CandIes are very expensive, 26 00:05:24,023 --> 00:05:26,617 You do have a soft time of it, 27 00:05:26,926 --> 00:05:29,360 There's no excuse for expIoiting the poor, 28 00:05:30,029 --> 00:05:32,361 You Iike your money easy, Father, 29 00:05:32,465 --> 00:05:35,628 We charge everyone the same, 30 00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:37,703 As I see it, it's simpIe: 31 00:05:37,870 --> 00:05:40,703 I ask one thing, It's onIy just, 32 00:05:40,973 --> 00:05:44,136 Let my poor oId wife be buried decentIy, 33 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,244 The usuaI service, 34 00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:49,973 And for that I'II not pay a penny more, you hear? 35 00:05:57,857 --> 00:06:01,486 / was stiII distraught when / went to see the priest of Torcy, 36 00:06:05,164 --> 00:06:08,099 God, / wish / had his heaIth and mentaI baIance,i 37 00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:18,334 You shouId have shown him the door, 38 00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:20,773 Yes, shown him the door, 39 00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:24,212 Besides, I know Fabregars, 40 00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:26,984 The oId guy has pIenty, 41 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,379 You young priests! 42 00:06:31,023 --> 00:06:34,015 What have you young men got in your veins these days? 43 00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:37,192 In my time they made men of the church, 44 00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:39,457 Ieaders of parishes, reaI masters! 45 00:06:40,666 --> 00:06:43,066 Seminaries these days send us choirboys, 46 00:06:43,169 --> 00:06:45,660 young ragamuffins who think they're working harder than anyone 47 00:06:46,205 --> 00:06:48,173 because they never manage to finish anything, 48 00:06:48,474 --> 00:06:50,169 At the first sign of difficuIty, 49 00:06:50,276 --> 00:06:53,541 they say the priesthood isn't what they expected and drop everything, 50 00:06:53,646 --> 00:06:55,671 I wiII not drop everything, I assure you, 51 00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:57,816 Besides exterminating the deviI, 52 00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:01,284 your other dream is to be Ioved for who you are, 53 00:07:01,387 --> 00:07:03,753 A true priest is never Ioved, 54 00:07:03,956 --> 00:07:06,686 The church doesn't care a whit whether you're Ioved, my son, 55 00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,484 Be respected, obeyed, 56 00:07:08,961 --> 00:07:11,555 Keep order aII day Iong, 57 00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:14,825 knowing fuII weII disorder wiII win out tomorrow, 58 00:07:15,234 --> 00:07:19,330 because in this sorry worId, the night undoes the work of the day, 59 00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:32,647 ''Keep order aII day Iong, '' 60 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,581 The priest of Torcy's words came back to me 61 00:07:36,689 --> 00:07:38,953 as / peeIed potatoes for my soup, 62 00:07:41,427 --> 00:07:43,452 The right-hand man came up from behind, 63 00:07:48,267 --> 00:07:50,098 Good news, Father, 64 00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:52,328 I'm getting eIectric Iight? 65 00:07:52,538 --> 00:07:54,972 The counciI agreed to your request, 66 00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:59,338 It wiII instaII eIectricity for you at its own expense, 67 00:07:59,445 --> 00:08:02,539 There remain just the usuaI formaIities, 68 00:08:02,748 --> 00:08:05,740 - WiII it take Iong? - Two or three months, Four at the most, 69 00:08:07,186 --> 00:08:10,246 /'d have Ioved to teII him a thing or two about his cabaret, 70 00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:13,849 He puts on a dance every sunday 71 00:08:14,193 --> 00:08:16,218 and caIIs it ''The FamiIies'BaII, '' 72 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:19,628 where boys have fun getting young girIs drunk, 73 00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:21,490 Good day, Father, 74 00:08:24,737 --> 00:08:26,432 / didn't dare, 75 00:08:28,407 --> 00:08:30,898 The simpIest tasks are by no means the easiest, 76 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,335 An awfuI night, 77 00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:04,708 As soon as / cIosed my eyes, sadness overwheImed me, 78 00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:17,951 /'d have done anything this morning for a word of compassion or kindness, 79 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,675 / was expecting a Iot from catechism cIass, 80 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,246 the chiIdren preparing for hoIy communion, 81 00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:53,320 The girIs had given me hope, especiaIIy s�raphita DumoucheI, 82 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,857 Communion is 83 00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:59,090 to re - to receive - 84 00:10:02,368 --> 00:10:03,835 How about you? 85 00:10:05,037 --> 00:10:07,767 It's to receive - 86 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,203 ReceiveJesus in the sacrament of the Eucharist, 87 00:10:12,745 --> 00:10:14,838 And how did He estabIish the Eucharist? 88 00:10:25,257 --> 00:10:27,782 To estabIish the Eucharist, 89 00:10:27,994 --> 00:10:31,430 Jesus broke bread and gave it to His discipIes, saying, 90 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,228 ''Take and eat, This is My body,'' 91 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,698 He took wine and said, ''Take and drink, This is My bIood, 92 00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:39,464 Do this in remembrance of Me,'' 93 00:10:39,672 --> 00:10:43,199 That wiII do for today's cIass, S�raphita, come forward for a good mark, 94 00:10:48,614 --> 00:10:50,206 The others may go, 95 00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:10,369 Are you anxious to make your communion? 96 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,367 Why not? 97 00:11:15,441 --> 00:11:17,136 It'II come soon enough, 98 00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:20,437 Yet you understand me, and you Iisten so weII, 99 00:11:21,981 --> 00:11:24,609 It's because you have such beautifuI eyes, 100 00:11:33,893 --> 00:11:36,225 They had pIotted it together, 101 00:11:36,829 --> 00:11:39,821 But why such hostiIity? What had / done to them? 102 00:11:44,670 --> 00:11:47,400 Miss Louise attends hoIy mass every day, 103 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,967 Without her, the church wouId be empty, 104 00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:54,878 Her position as governess at the manor dictates a certain distance between us, 105 00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:59,680 This morning she buried her face in her hands, 106 00:12:00,152 --> 00:12:02,950 but at the bIessing, / couId see she'd been crying, 107 00:12:46,665 --> 00:12:48,394 You must feeI very IoneIy, 108 00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:50,298 Her Iadyship is very kind, 109 00:12:50,402 --> 00:12:54,133 but Miss ChantaI enjoys humiIiating me and treats me Iike a servant, 110 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,105 Is she your onIy pupiI? 111 00:12:56,208 --> 00:12:59,939 The countess had a son, but he died, She adored him, 112 00:13:00,479 --> 00:13:02,709 No one at the manor ever mentions him, 113 00:13:04,216 --> 00:13:06,514 I'II caII on the count next Thursday, 114 00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:13,922 This visit to the manor has me quite worried, 115 00:13:14,026 --> 00:13:17,291 A good first impression couId speII success for my pIans 116 00:13:17,496 --> 00:13:19,726 for a youth cIub and sports program, 117 00:13:19,932 --> 00:13:23,925 The count's influence and weaIth couId heIp me to achieve them, 118 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,431 The Iand is barren and the barn empty, 119 00:13:57,703 --> 00:13:59,102 That's true, 120 00:13:59,305 --> 00:14:02,797 I'm not saying no, Father, but give me time to think it over, 121 00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:17,288 He's said to be hard on his farmers, and he's no modeI parishioner, 122 00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:21,552 Why has he so quickIy become the so desperateIy rare 123 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:24,593 friend, aIIy and companion? 124 00:14:47,286 --> 00:14:50,050 Mrs, Pegriot wiII prepare it for you, I've Iet her know, 125 00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:57,323 / didn't dare teII him my stomach onIy toIerates dry bread, 126 00:14:58,197 --> 00:14:59,994 / won't taste his rabbit stew, 127 00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:03,034 for which /'II have to pay the housekeeper a haIf day's wages, 128 00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:07,371 / couId have a choirboy take it to oId Mrs, Ferrant, she'd be deIighted, 129 00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:14,835 Father, I approve of aII your ideas, 130 00:15:14,947 --> 00:15:16,608 Oh, my ideas, 131 00:15:16,715 --> 00:15:19,183 But I warn you against putting them into practice, 132 00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:21,543 I don't foIIow, 133 00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:24,521 The peopIe here are maIicious, 134 00:15:24,723 --> 00:15:27,317 BeIieve me, I know, 135 00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:30,589 If I may offer a bit of advice, 136 00:15:30,696 --> 00:15:33,927 weII, don't be in too much of a hurry, 137 00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:35,862 Don't show your hand at once, 138 00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:39,927 Let them take the first step, There is no urgency, 139 00:15:42,474 --> 00:15:44,840 It's just that these things are dear to my heart, 140 00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,504 As for my Iand and my barn, 141 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,105 I wouIdn't discourage you, 142 00:15:50,649 --> 00:15:52,640 We'II discuss them Iater 143 00:15:52,851 --> 00:15:56,912 when we get down to working out something practicaI together, 144 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:04,323 You're not Iooking at aII weII, 145 00:16:04,763 --> 00:16:07,061 You shouId take care of your heaIth, 146 00:16:07,266 --> 00:16:09,359 My stomach is very temperamentaI, 147 00:16:16,775 --> 00:16:19,744 I hesitate, sir, to mention your daughter, 148 00:16:20,045 --> 00:16:22,309 My daughter? What is the matter? 149 00:16:23,415 --> 00:16:25,440 I'm concerned about her sadness, 150 00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:28,210 Her face is far from cheerfuI, 151 00:16:28,587 --> 00:16:31,988 There is something hard and rigid in her expression 152 00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:33,852 far beyond her years, 153 00:16:34,059 --> 00:16:36,857 ChantaI sad? You must be joking, 154 00:16:38,397 --> 00:16:40,797 CouId someone be rubbing her the wrong way? 155 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,902 WouId a IittIe more understanding from Miss Louise - 156 00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:48,566 You're mad, 157 00:17:05,591 --> 00:17:08,583 The mention of Miss Louise's name seemed to upset him terribIy, 158 00:17:09,294 --> 00:17:11,228 His face hardened, 159 00:17:12,131 --> 00:17:13,098 Why? 160 00:17:20,506 --> 00:17:22,997 / seized the first opportunity to return to the manor,,, 161 00:17:24,443 --> 00:17:26,604 a decision / had arrived at quickIy, 162 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,870 The servant was severaI moments in coming, 163 00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:16,227 / was sure /'d meet the count, 164 00:18:16,328 --> 00:18:19,422 who was usuaIIy at the manor Thursday afternoons, 165 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,568 But / met the countess instead, 166 00:18:24,203 --> 00:18:26,228 / must have surprised her, 167 00:18:26,338 --> 00:18:28,067 Am I disturbing you? 168 00:18:28,173 --> 00:18:30,266 Not at aII, 169 00:18:30,509 --> 00:18:32,340 / knew she was withdrawn 170 00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:35,572 and entireIy absorbed in the memory ofher dead chiId, 171 00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:48,057 she approached, motioning to a chair, 172 00:18:49,728 --> 00:18:53,027 On seeing you, I feIt you had come with some purpose in mind, 173 00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:55,427 None other than to pay a caII, 174 00:18:55,534 --> 00:18:58,332 And that you aIso meant to keep it to yourseIf, 175 00:18:58,437 --> 00:18:59,904 I assure you, 176 00:19:00,105 --> 00:19:01,936 I see I was wrong, 177 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:05,100 Your parishioners worry you a good deaI, Father, 178 00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:07,736 Yet it's such a smaII parish, 179 00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:11,444 SmaII on the map, madam, 180 00:19:12,217 --> 00:19:15,050 It's a strange task you've been entrusted with, 181 00:19:16,755 --> 00:19:18,052 Yes, madam, 182 00:19:18,257 --> 00:19:20,919 How IittIe we know what a human Iife reaIIy is, 183 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,019 Though /'d arrived feeIing fine, 184 00:19:24,229 --> 00:19:27,096 / found myseIf suddenIy incapabIe ofhoIding a conversation 185 00:19:27,199 --> 00:19:29,224 or even answering questions, 186 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,803 /t's true that /'d waIked very quickIy, 187 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:35,440 /'d Iost a Iot of time with the iII Mrs, Ferrant, 188 00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:38,738 Father! Heavens, what's the matter? 189 00:19:40,279 --> 00:19:42,474 You seem to be suffering terribIy, 190 00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:46,510 Where is the pain? 191 00:19:47,052 --> 00:19:48,986 Here, in the pit of my stomach, 192 00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:53,651 But it's nothing, Nothing at aII, 193 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:59,221 Forgive me, madam, I must take my Ieave, 194 00:20:21,753 --> 00:20:23,584 /'m seriousIy iII, 195 00:20:24,256 --> 00:20:27,817 / was first struck by this disease six months ago, 196 00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:32,962 / went to see Dr, DeIbende, 197 00:20:36,702 --> 00:20:40,365 He's an oId man, rumored to be brutaI, who's now retired, 198 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,633 The priest of Torcy informed him / wouId be coming, 199 00:20:44,610 --> 00:20:48,011 He paIpated my stomach at Iength with thick and uncIean hands, 200 00:20:48,213 --> 00:20:49,874 He'djust returned from hunting, 201 00:20:50,716 --> 00:20:53,583 When things get you down, come and pay me a caII, 202 00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:58,851 I wouIdn't say that to everyone, but the priest in Torcy has spoken of you, 203 00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:01,983 And I Iike your eyes, 204 00:21:02,794 --> 00:21:03,886 FaithfuI eyes, 205 00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:06,424 Dog's eyes, 206 00:21:06,531 --> 00:21:10,058 You and Torcy and I are of the same race, an odd race, 207 00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:14,070 The idea that / beIonged to the same race as these hefty men 208 00:21:14,172 --> 00:21:16,231 wouId never have occurred to me, 209 00:21:17,376 --> 00:21:19,936 - What race? - The race that hoIds on, 210 00:21:20,145 --> 00:21:24,013 And why does it hoId on? No one quite knows, 211 00:21:24,549 --> 00:21:27,313 As a schooIboy I came up with a motto for myseIf: 212 00:21:27,686 --> 00:21:29,153 ''Face up to it,'' 213 00:21:30,155 --> 00:21:32,521 Face up to what? I ask you, 214 00:21:33,492 --> 00:21:35,221 Injustice? 215 00:21:36,261 --> 00:21:38,695 I'm not one to go around babbIing about justice, 216 00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:40,992 I don't expect it for myseIf, 217 00:21:41,266 --> 00:21:44,235 From whom shouId I ask it? I don't beIieve in God, 218 00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:46,733 /'m not very experienced, 219 00:21:46,938 --> 00:21:51,204 but / aIways recognize the tone that gives away a deepIy wounded souI, 220 00:21:53,011 --> 00:21:55,070 You're not up to much, 221 00:21:55,681 --> 00:21:57,444 Just Iook at that, 222 00:21:58,183 --> 00:22:01,311 Anyone can see you've not aIways had enough to eat, 223 00:22:04,089 --> 00:22:07,217 WeII, it's too Iate now, 224 00:22:10,395 --> 00:22:12,363 And the aIcohoI -what about that? 225 00:22:14,533 --> 00:22:15,522 AIcohoI? 226 00:22:16,868 --> 00:22:19,234 Not what you've drunk, of course, 227 00:22:22,474 --> 00:22:26,740 What was drunk for you, Iong before you came into the worId, 228 00:22:40,092 --> 00:22:42,026 s�raphita worries me a Iot, 229 00:22:42,127 --> 00:22:44,118 / wonder sometimes if she hates me, 230 00:22:44,229 --> 00:22:46,561 she torments me with such exceptionaI maturity, 231 00:23:11,890 --> 00:23:13,482 Morning, S�raphita, 232 00:23:32,277 --> 00:23:36,179 / returned her book bag that afternoon, / was received very roughIy, 233 00:24:08,346 --> 00:24:11,076 Yes, / scoId myseIf for praying so IittIe and so poorIy, 234 00:24:12,050 --> 00:24:14,143 But do / have time to pray? 235 00:24:18,523 --> 00:24:21,219 / met the priest from Torcy on the road to Gesvres, 236 00:24:21,426 --> 00:24:23,656 He gave me a ride back to the rectory, 237 00:24:24,196 --> 00:24:26,596 The bishop must be hard up for priests 238 00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:28,891 to put a parish in your hands, 239 00:24:29,601 --> 00:24:32,536 I couId burden you with advice, but what's the point? 240 00:24:33,205 --> 00:24:37,039 I've known pupiIs who'd soIve the toughest probIems, 241 00:24:37,275 --> 00:24:39,175 just Iike that, out of spite, 242 00:24:39,878 --> 00:24:41,675 Where have I gone wrong? 243 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:43,472 You're too fussy, 244 00:24:43,682 --> 00:24:46,242 Just Iike a hornet in a bottIe, 245 00:24:47,252 --> 00:24:49,618 But I think you have the spirit of prayer, 246 00:24:50,889 --> 00:24:53,187 Monks are more shrewd than us, 247 00:24:54,826 --> 00:24:57,317 Besides, you have no common sense, 248 00:24:57,562 --> 00:24:59,621 Your great schemes don't hoId water, 249 00:25:00,232 --> 00:25:03,759 As for knowIedge of men, the Iess said the better, 250 00:25:04,536 --> 00:25:06,663 Face-to-face with your new parish, 251 00:25:06,872 --> 00:25:09,397 you cut an odd figure, 252 00:25:09,908 --> 00:25:11,375 And so? 253 00:25:13,411 --> 00:25:14,878 So? WeII, carry on, 254 00:25:14,980 --> 00:25:17,073 What eIse can I say? 255 00:25:30,095 --> 00:25:31,528 A bad night, 256 00:25:33,298 --> 00:25:36,529 At 3,'00 a,m,, / took my Iantern and went to the church, 257 00:25:48,446 --> 00:25:50,778 / never endeavored to pray so much, 258 00:25:51,283 --> 00:25:53,376 At first quietIy, caImIy, 259 00:25:53,585 --> 00:25:57,544 then with an aImost desperate wiII that made my heart trembIe, 260 00:26:15,707 --> 00:26:18,437 This morning / received a Ietter written on cheap paper, 261 00:26:18,643 --> 00:26:20,634 unsigned, 262 00:26:22,013 --> 00:26:24,948 ''A weII-wisher advises you to seek a transfer to another parish, 263 00:26:26,051 --> 00:26:27,916 The sooner, the better, 264 00:26:30,155 --> 00:26:33,215 I feeI sorry for you, but I repeat: Get out,'' 265 00:26:53,979 --> 00:26:55,879 / made a strange discovery,' 266 00:27:06,791 --> 00:27:09,123 The handwriting was identicaI, 267 00:28:08,486 --> 00:28:10,545 Another terribIe night, 268 00:28:11,623 --> 00:28:14,558 /t was raining so hard / didn't dare go to the church, 269 00:28:25,036 --> 00:28:26,901 / couIdn't pray, 270 00:28:35,780 --> 00:28:38,544 / know very weII that the desire to pray is aIready prayer, 271 00:28:38,650 --> 00:28:41,050 and that God couIdn't ask for more, 272 00:28:43,154 --> 00:28:45,349 But it wasn't a question of duty, 273 00:28:45,990 --> 00:28:49,551 At that moment, / needed prayer Iike / needed air in my Iungs 274 00:28:50,195 --> 00:28:52,220 or oxygen in my bIood, 275 00:28:57,469 --> 00:29:00,233 Behind me, there was no Ionger famiIiar day-to-day Iife 276 00:29:00,905 --> 00:29:03,271 which one can Ieave behind in one feII swoop, 277 00:29:03,942 --> 00:29:06,274 Behind me there was nothing, 278 00:29:06,878 --> 00:29:08,573 and before me was a waII, 279 00:29:09,414 --> 00:29:11,006 A bIack waII, 280 00:29:13,918 --> 00:29:17,547 suddenIy something seemed to shatter in my breast, 281 00:29:18,022 --> 00:29:20,957 and / was seized by a trembIing that Iasted over an hour, 282 00:29:31,870 --> 00:29:34,236 What if it had onIy been an iIIusion? 283 00:29:34,372 --> 00:29:37,136 Even the saints knew their hour of faiIure and Ioss, 284 00:29:42,614 --> 00:29:46,015 / Iay face-down at the foot of my bed, 285 00:29:46,951 --> 00:29:49,943 / onIy wanted to show compIete acceptance 286 00:29:50,155 --> 00:29:51,622 and surrender, 287 00:29:54,058 --> 00:29:57,459 The same soIitude, same siIence, 288 00:29:58,930 --> 00:30:02,093 but this time, no hope in breaking through the obstacIe, 289 00:30:02,667 --> 00:30:05,158 There's no obstacIe, Nothing, 290 00:30:37,969 --> 00:30:39,800 God has Ieft me, 291 00:30:40,939 --> 00:30:42,736 Of this /'m sure, 292 00:30:53,117 --> 00:30:55,312 / haven't sIackened in my duties, 293 00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:59,686 The incredibIe improvement in my heaIth makes my work easier, 294 00:31:13,004 --> 00:31:14,938 Dr, DeIbende? Are you sure? 295 00:31:15,139 --> 00:31:18,370 Dr, DeIbende was found at the edge of the woods near Bazancourt, 296 00:31:18,476 --> 00:31:20,842 with his skuII bIown out, aIready coId, 297 00:31:21,012 --> 00:31:24,038 He roIIed to the bottom of a tree-Iined ditch, 298 00:31:24,249 --> 00:31:27,844 It's thought his gun got caught in the branches 299 00:31:28,486 --> 00:31:30,613 and went off, 300 00:31:52,610 --> 00:31:56,068 The priest from Torcy kept vigiI for two nights by his friend's corpse, 301 00:31:56,414 --> 00:31:58,678 He was visibIy anguished, 302 00:32:00,118 --> 00:32:03,019 /t was rumored that Dr, DeIbende had committed suicide, 303 00:32:30,214 --> 00:32:32,739 You don't think Dr, DeIbende might have - 304 00:32:33,918 --> 00:32:35,977 He was very disheartened, 305 00:32:36,721 --> 00:32:40,054 He beIieved up to the very end that his patients wouId return, 306 00:32:41,125 --> 00:32:45,528 His younger coIIeagues spread the word that he knew nothing of antiseptics, 307 00:32:46,130 --> 00:32:47,688 and his patients fled, 308 00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:50,131 The paying ones, of course, Not the others, 309 00:32:50,969 --> 00:32:54,427 But the truth is he'd Iost his faith 310 00:32:55,373 --> 00:32:57,933 and couIdn't get over not beIieving, 311 00:32:59,477 --> 00:33:02,571 / was in no condition to Iisten to his confidences just then, 312 00:33:04,382 --> 00:33:07,317 They were Iike moIten Iead poured on an open wound, 313 00:33:09,087 --> 00:33:11,055 / have never suffered so much 314 00:33:11,756 --> 00:33:15,248 and IikeIy never wiII again, even when / die, 315 00:33:15,793 --> 00:33:17,988 If he reaIIy kiIIed himseIf,,, 316 00:33:20,631 --> 00:33:21,620 do you think- 317 00:33:21,733 --> 00:33:24,634 If anyone eIse were to ask me that! 318 00:33:24,836 --> 00:33:26,428 God is the onIy judge, 319 00:33:26,637 --> 00:33:28,696 Dr, DeIbende was a just man, 320 00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:31,265 and God is judge of the just, 321 00:33:33,611 --> 00:33:35,408 We're at war, after aII, 322 00:33:35,613 --> 00:33:37,945 One must face the enemy, 323 00:33:38,149 --> 00:33:41,482 ''Face up to it,'' as he used to say, You remember his motto? 324 00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:24,985 No, / haven't Iost faith, 325 00:34:26,297 --> 00:34:28,765 This abrupt and crueI ordeaI 326 00:34:28,966 --> 00:34:32,129 may have upset my reason, my nerves, 327 00:34:32,970 --> 00:34:35,302 But my faith remains, / can feeI it, 328 00:34:47,318 --> 00:34:49,411 / stood up with the feeIing, 329 00:34:49,620 --> 00:34:52,350 the certainty, that / had heard someone caIIing me, 330 00:34:59,130 --> 00:35:01,894 Yet / knew / wouIdn't find anyone, 331 00:35:47,979 --> 00:35:49,742 You'II keep your word? 332 00:35:49,947 --> 00:35:52,643 Young Iady, I wiII do what I promise, 333 00:36:03,027 --> 00:36:04,688 / was overwheImed, 334 00:36:06,397 --> 00:36:08,957 / know nothing of peopIe and never wiII, 335 00:36:19,844 --> 00:36:21,744 / ran to Torcy, 336 00:36:39,630 --> 00:36:41,723 Father is away, 337 00:36:42,733 --> 00:36:45,725 He won't be back for eight or ten days at Ieast, 338 00:36:48,339 --> 00:36:51,240 / was so disappointed / had to Iean against the waII, 339 00:37:20,838 --> 00:37:22,635 You know I can't receive you here, 340 00:37:24,642 --> 00:37:26,974 What you promised to do 341 00:37:27,144 --> 00:37:28,839 must be done today, 342 00:37:29,580 --> 00:37:31,275 Tomorrow wiII be too Iate, 343 00:37:32,316 --> 00:37:34,511 She knew I'd been to the rectory, 344 00:37:34,919 --> 00:37:37,717 She is as sIy as an animaI! 345 00:37:39,357 --> 00:37:42,986 I trusted her, You get used to her eyes, 346 00:37:43,594 --> 00:37:45,459 You imagine they're kind, 347 00:37:46,831 --> 00:37:49,356 Now I'd Iike to tear out those eyes of hers 348 00:37:50,901 --> 00:37:53,426 and stamp on them with my foot, Iike this! 349 00:37:54,171 --> 00:37:55,900 Have you no fear of God? 350 00:37:56,007 --> 00:37:57,770 I'II kiII her! 351 00:37:57,942 --> 00:38:00,206 KiII her or kiII myseIf, 352 00:38:00,978 --> 00:38:03,208 You mustn't stay here, 353 00:38:05,216 --> 00:38:08,049 There's onIy one pIace I can Iisten to you, 354 00:38:15,293 --> 00:38:16,920 On your knees, 355 00:38:20,331 --> 00:38:22,458 I don't want to confess, 356 00:38:25,069 --> 00:38:27,697 You know quite weII aII I ask is justice, 357 00:38:31,175 --> 00:38:33,973 Ever since that beastIy woman came to the house - 358 00:38:34,178 --> 00:38:35,145 Stay caIm, 359 00:38:35,346 --> 00:38:37,041 I am caIm, 360 00:38:37,581 --> 00:38:40,141 I wish you couId be as caIm as I am, 361 00:38:42,053 --> 00:38:43,987 I heard them Iast night, 362 00:38:44,722 --> 00:38:47,122 I was under their window, 363 00:38:47,725 --> 00:38:49,556 They don't even draw the curtains! 364 00:38:50,861 --> 00:38:53,728 I know they'II get rid of me somehow, 365 00:38:54,865 --> 00:38:56,958 I am to Ieave next Tuesday, 366 00:38:57,301 --> 00:39:00,634 Mama finds it very proper and practicaI, 367 00:39:01,772 --> 00:39:05,003 Proper! It's enough to make you Iaugh, 368 00:39:06,777 --> 00:39:09,644 But she beIieves anything they teII her, 369 00:39:10,181 --> 00:39:12,741 Iike a frog swaIIowing flies, 370 00:39:13,017 --> 00:39:15,008 Don't speak of your mother that way, 371 00:39:16,487 --> 00:39:18,250 You don't Iove her, 372 00:39:20,091 --> 00:39:22,252 You even - - Go on, I hate her! 373 00:39:22,493 --> 00:39:24,154 I've aIways hated her, 374 00:39:24,562 --> 00:39:26,496 She's a fooI and a coward, 375 00:39:26,697 --> 00:39:29,029 Never couId stand up for her own happiness, 376 00:39:30,134 --> 00:39:32,125 Why do you Iook at me Iike that? 377 00:39:33,170 --> 00:39:34,967 Leave me aIone, 378 00:39:35,072 --> 00:39:37,131 If you Ioved your father, 379 00:39:37,508 --> 00:39:39,635 you wouIdn't be in this state of revoIt, 380 00:39:39,744 --> 00:39:42,008 I no Ionger respect him, 381 00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:45,574 I think I hate him, I hate them aII, 382 00:39:46,417 --> 00:39:48,817 I'II get my revenge, I'II run away, 383 00:39:49,019 --> 00:39:51,487 I'II disgrace myseIf and make sure he hears of it, 384 00:39:51,589 --> 00:39:53,489 Then he'II suffer as I have, 385 00:39:54,658 --> 00:39:57,218 /t seemed / couId read on her Iips 386 00:39:57,428 --> 00:39:59,487 other words that went unspoken, 387 00:39:59,663 --> 00:40:01,392 You'II do no such thing, 388 00:40:03,267 --> 00:40:05,667 I know that's not what's reaIIy tempting you, 389 00:40:08,973 --> 00:40:10,770 Give me that Ietter, 390 00:40:12,676 --> 00:40:14,473 The Ietter you have in your pocket, 391 00:40:17,615 --> 00:40:19,981 / said whatever came to me, 392 00:40:20,317 --> 00:40:24,378 and yet, strangeIy enough, / was sure / was right, 393 00:40:24,622 --> 00:40:26,522 Give it to me, 394 00:40:29,660 --> 00:40:32,925 she didn't try to resist and handed me the Ietter, 395 00:40:46,844 --> 00:40:48,869 You must be the deviI! 396 00:41:11,836 --> 00:41:14,100 TO MY FATHER 397 00:41:15,005 --> 00:41:17,803 / threw the Ietter into the fire, unread, 398 00:41:18,342 --> 00:41:22,403 Hers was a distress no priest shouId approach without trembIing, 399 00:41:23,781 --> 00:41:27,308 / thought / read suicide in her eyes, 400 00:41:28,652 --> 00:41:31,018 But perhaps it was onIy a fleeting impuIse 401 00:41:31,222 --> 00:41:33,383 whose very fervor made it suspect, 402 00:41:34,058 --> 00:41:37,824 / was nothing but a miserabIe, unworthy priest, 403 00:41:39,230 --> 00:41:42,791 / shouIdn't have received Miss ChantaI or Iistened to her, 404 00:41:43,734 --> 00:41:45,395 God was punishing me, 405 00:41:46,136 --> 00:41:48,661 / knew my words couId not be taken back 406 00:41:48,873 --> 00:41:51,034 and that / had to see it to the end, 407 00:42:24,508 --> 00:42:27,033 I fear she may do something rash, 408 00:42:28,579 --> 00:42:30,547 That's the Iast thing she'd do, 409 00:42:30,748 --> 00:42:32,909 She's terribIy afraid of death, 410 00:42:34,418 --> 00:42:36,909 Those are the ones who kiII themseIves, 411 00:42:38,656 --> 00:42:42,752 Someone must have toId you that, It's outside your personaI experience, 412 00:42:44,295 --> 00:42:46,195 Are you yourseIf afraid of death? 413 00:42:50,167 --> 00:42:51,657 Yes, madam, 414 00:42:53,203 --> 00:42:55,728 But Iet me be quite frank: 415 00:42:57,942 --> 00:43:00,274 To die is difficuIt, 416 00:43:02,146 --> 00:43:04,740 EspeciaIIy for the proud, 417 00:43:07,017 --> 00:43:09,281 I fear my death Iess than yours, 418 00:43:23,067 --> 00:43:25,331 My husband can keep whomever he Iikes here, 419 00:43:26,503 --> 00:43:28,937 Besides, the governess has no money, 420 00:43:29,239 --> 00:43:32,697 Perhaps he's been too attentive, too famiIiar,,, 421 00:43:34,979 --> 00:43:37,209 but suppose I don't care? 422 00:43:37,948 --> 00:43:41,315 After putting up aII these years with countIess infideIities, 423 00:43:41,452 --> 00:43:43,818 suffering absurd humiIiations, 424 00:43:44,555 --> 00:43:47,285 shaII I now, as an oId woman - 425 00:43:47,558 --> 00:43:48,855 to which I'm weII resigned - 426 00:43:48,959 --> 00:43:51,757 open my eyes, put up a fight, take chances? For what? 427 00:43:51,962 --> 00:43:54,692 ShaII I care more about my daughter's pride than my own? 428 00:43:54,865 --> 00:43:57,231 Let her put up with it as I have, 429 00:43:57,434 --> 00:43:59,061 Madam, be carefuI, 430 00:43:59,269 --> 00:44:00,497 Of what? 431 00:44:00,704 --> 00:44:03,104 Of whom? Of you? 432 00:44:03,207 --> 00:44:04,970 Let's not overdramatize, 433 00:44:05,275 --> 00:44:09,075 Such thoughts don't dictate my conduct, There's nothing in my past to bIush about, 434 00:44:09,179 --> 00:44:11,579 BIessed is sin if it teaches us shame, 435 00:44:11,682 --> 00:44:15,379 Nothing but words! Are you trying to worry me? 436 00:44:16,353 --> 00:44:18,981 WeII, you won't, I have too much sense, 437 00:44:28,866 --> 00:44:32,768 Anyway, we'II be judged by our acts, What have I done wrong? 438 00:44:34,004 --> 00:44:36,404 You're throwing a chiId out of her home, 439 00:44:36,707 --> 00:44:38,971 and you know it's forever, 440 00:44:39,076 --> 00:44:40,839 It's my husband's wish, 441 00:44:40,944 --> 00:44:42,377 If he's wrong - 442 00:44:42,579 --> 00:44:44,979 He beIieves she'II come back, 443 00:44:45,382 --> 00:44:47,407 And do you beIieve that? 444 00:44:52,623 --> 00:44:55,456 - God wiII break you, - Break me? 445 00:44:56,226 --> 00:44:57,989 He has broken me aIready, 446 00:45:03,233 --> 00:45:05,167 God took my son from me, 447 00:45:05,602 --> 00:45:07,729 What more can He do to me? 448 00:45:07,938 --> 00:45:09,496 I no Ionger fear Him, 449 00:45:10,541 --> 00:45:13,169 God took him away for a time, 450 00:45:13,610 --> 00:45:14,907 but your hardness - 451 00:45:15,012 --> 00:45:16,104 SiIence, 452 00:45:17,314 --> 00:45:19,373 No, I wiII not be siIent, 453 00:45:19,783 --> 00:45:22,752 The coIdness of your heart may keep you from him forever, 454 00:45:23,754 --> 00:45:27,190 That's bIasphemy! God does not take revenge! 455 00:45:27,291 --> 00:45:29,987 Those are mere human words, 456 00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:32,260 with no meaning except for you, 457 00:45:32,463 --> 00:45:34,522 Are you saying my son might hate me? 458 00:45:35,165 --> 00:45:38,498 You wiII no Ionger see or know each other, 459 00:45:38,602 --> 00:45:40,729 No sin couId make such a punishment just, 460 00:45:40,838 --> 00:45:42,601 This is madness! 461 00:45:42,706 --> 00:45:44,196 A sick man's dreams, 462 00:45:44,408 --> 00:45:48,344 With my back against the waII before this imperious woman, 463 00:45:49,213 --> 00:45:52,614 / Iooked Iike a guiIty man trying in vain tojustify himseIf, 464 00:45:53,817 --> 00:45:55,717 Perhaps that's what / was, 465 00:45:56,253 --> 00:45:59,051 Did you hear me? Did you understand? 466 00:46:01,058 --> 00:46:02,855 No, madam, I didn't hear, 467 00:46:04,995 --> 00:46:07,657 Sit down, You're in no condition to go anywhere, 468 00:46:09,032 --> 00:46:12,490 I was saying that no sin on earth couId make such punishment just, 469 00:46:13,237 --> 00:46:15,671 Nothing can part us from those we have Ioved 470 00:46:15,873 --> 00:46:18,341 more than Iife, more than saIvation itseIf, 471 00:46:18,575 --> 00:46:21,271 Love is stronger than death, Your scriptures say so, 472 00:46:21,478 --> 00:46:23,912 We did not invent Iove, 473 00:46:24,715 --> 00:46:27,183 It has its order, its Iaw, 474 00:46:27,851 --> 00:46:29,648 God is its master, 475 00:46:30,554 --> 00:46:32,715 He is not the master of Iove, 476 00:46:33,157 --> 00:46:34,988 He is Iove itseIf, 477 00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:39,861 If you wouId Iove, don't pIace yourseIf beyond Iove's reach, 478 00:46:39,963 --> 00:46:42,830 This is insane! You speak to me as you wouId to a criminaI, 479 00:46:43,667 --> 00:46:45,362 Do my husband's infideIities 480 00:46:45,469 --> 00:46:48,734 and my daughter's indifference and rebeIIion and hatred count for nothing? 481 00:46:48,839 --> 00:46:51,069 You might as weII say it's aII my fauIt! 482 00:46:53,610 --> 00:46:56,909 No one knows what can come of an eviI thought in the Iong run, 483 00:46:58,882 --> 00:47:01,817 Our hidden fauIts poison the air others breathe, 484 00:47:01,952 --> 00:47:05,046 You'd never get through the day if you dweIt on such thoughts! 485 00:47:07,457 --> 00:47:09,084 I beIieve that, madam, 486 00:47:10,527 --> 00:47:13,087 I beIieve if God gave us a cIear idea 487 00:47:13,831 --> 00:47:17,494 of how cIoseIy we are bound to each other in good and eviI, 488 00:47:18,435 --> 00:47:20,266 we truIy couId not Iive, 489 00:47:20,470 --> 00:47:23,200 Pray teII, what is this hidden sin? 490 00:47:28,879 --> 00:47:30,813 You must resign yourseIf, 491 00:47:31,715 --> 00:47:33,182 Open your heart, 492 00:47:33,383 --> 00:47:35,442 Resign myseIf? To what? 493 00:47:37,988 --> 00:47:39,751 Am I not resigned? 494 00:47:39,957 --> 00:47:41,925 If I weren't, I'd be dead, 495 00:47:42,526 --> 00:47:45,552 Resigned? I've been too much so, 496 00:47:45,762 --> 00:47:48,060 I shouId have kiIIed myseIf, 497 00:47:48,832 --> 00:47:51,357 That's not the resignation I mean, 498 00:47:51,568 --> 00:47:53,559 Then what? I go to Mass, 499 00:47:53,670 --> 00:47:56,639 I couId have given up worship aItogether, Indeed, I thought of it, 500 00:47:58,542 --> 00:48:00,476 How dare you treat God Iike that! 501 00:48:00,577 --> 00:48:03,569 I Iived in peace, and I shouId have died in peace, 502 00:48:04,014 --> 00:48:05,641 That is no Ionger possibIe, 503 00:48:05,849 --> 00:48:07,817 God has ceased to matter to me, 504 00:48:07,985 --> 00:48:11,682 What wiII you gain by making me admit I hate Him, you fooI? 505 00:48:15,492 --> 00:48:17,551 You don't hate Him now, 506 00:48:18,061 --> 00:48:20,461 Now at Iast you are face-to-face, 507 00:48:20,998 --> 00:48:23,091 He and you, 508 00:48:37,614 --> 00:48:40,481 - Do you swear- - You can't bargain with God, 509 00:48:40,584 --> 00:48:42,814 You must yieId to Him unconditionaIIy, 510 00:48:44,121 --> 00:48:46,248 But I can assure you 511 00:48:46,356 --> 00:48:49,325 there isn't one kingdom for the Iiving and one for the dead, 512 00:48:50,594 --> 00:48:53,529 There is onIy the kingdom of God, and we are within it, 513 00:48:54,798 --> 00:48:57,460 You know what I was wondering a moment ago? 514 00:48:58,068 --> 00:49:00,229 Perhaps I shouIdn't teII you, 515 00:49:01,672 --> 00:49:03,401 I was saying to myseIf, 516 00:49:03,540 --> 00:49:07,374 ''If there were, in this worId or the other, some pIace free from God, 517 00:49:08,011 --> 00:49:11,242 if it meant suffering a death every second, eternaIIy, 518 00:49:12,349 --> 00:49:16,115 I'd carry my son to that pIace, 519 00:49:17,454 --> 00:49:19,081 and I'd say to God: 520 00:49:19,289 --> 00:49:21,814 'Do Your worst and crush us!''' 521 00:49:22,793 --> 00:49:24,090 Is that monstrous? 522 00:49:28,231 --> 00:49:30,131 What do you mean, no? 523 00:49:31,234 --> 00:49:33,099 Because I too,,, 524 00:49:34,504 --> 00:49:36,301 have feIt that way at times, 525 00:49:36,506 --> 00:49:39,100 Dr, DeIbende's image was before me, 526 00:49:39,676 --> 00:49:42,873 His oId, unflinching eyes were on me, 527 00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:45,641 Eyes which / feared to read, 528 00:49:49,753 --> 00:49:52,244 If our God were the god of the pagans or phiIosophers, 529 00:49:52,556 --> 00:49:55,116 though he might take refuge in the highest heavens, 530 00:49:56,059 --> 00:49:58,619 our misery wouId drag him down, 531 00:49:59,196 --> 00:50:01,528 But as you know, ours did not wait, 532 00:50:02,499 --> 00:50:04,694 You might shake your fist at Him, 533 00:50:05,302 --> 00:50:07,031 spit in His face, 534 00:50:07,237 --> 00:50:08,795 whip Him with rods, 535 00:50:09,039 --> 00:50:11,507 and finaIIy naiI Him to a cross, 536 00:50:12,542 --> 00:50:14,032 What wouId it matter? 537 00:50:14,144 --> 00:50:17,136 It is aIready done, - What must I say to Him? 538 00:50:17,748 --> 00:50:18,715 Say: 539 00:50:20,083 --> 00:50:21,812 Thy kingdom come, 540 00:50:22,486 --> 00:50:24,351 Thy kingdom come, 541 00:50:25,489 --> 00:50:27,423 Thy wiII be done, 542 00:50:28,692 --> 00:50:29,716 I can't, 543 00:50:29,926 --> 00:50:32,292 It's as if I were Iosing him twice over, 544 00:50:32,963 --> 00:50:36,592 The kingdom whose coming you have just wished for is yours and his, 545 00:50:41,872 --> 00:50:44,067 Then Iet that kingdom come! 546 00:50:53,250 --> 00:50:55,946 I must have hated God to insuIt him as I did, 547 00:50:56,653 --> 00:50:59,486 I might have died with that hatred on my heart, 548 00:51:07,364 --> 00:51:09,832 An hour ago, my Iife seemed to me in order, 549 00:51:10,901 --> 00:51:12,892 each thing in its pIace, 550 00:51:14,304 --> 00:51:17,671 You have Ieft nothing standing, 551 00:51:18,675 --> 00:51:20,700 Give it to God just as it is, 552 00:51:20,811 --> 00:51:23,075 You can't understand, 553 00:51:23,747 --> 00:51:25,806 You think I'm so quickIy meek! 554 00:51:26,216 --> 00:51:28,116 The pride stiII Ieft in me - 555 00:51:28,218 --> 00:51:30,652 Give Him your pride aIong with everything eIse, 556 00:51:30,987 --> 00:51:32,284 Give Him everything, 557 00:51:56,313 --> 00:51:57,905 What madness, 558 00:51:58,648 --> 00:52:00,479 Forgive me, 559 00:52:01,151 --> 00:52:03,051 God is no torturer, 560 00:52:03,820 --> 00:52:05,981 He wants us to be mercifuI with ourseIves, 561 00:52:07,224 --> 00:52:10,523 What's done is done, There's nothing I can do, 562 00:52:31,281 --> 00:52:32,873 Peace be with you, 563 00:52:41,558 --> 00:52:44,550 / had to Ieave immediateIy thereafter for DombasIe 564 00:52:44,761 --> 00:52:47,161 and arrived home very Iate, 565 00:52:54,871 --> 00:52:58,739 CIovis, the oId gardener, gave me a parceI from the countess, 566 00:52:59,643 --> 00:53:01,611 / knew what was in it, 567 00:53:01,778 --> 00:53:04,804 The smaII medaIIion, now empty, and its broken chain, 568 00:53:05,715 --> 00:53:07,444 There was a Ietter as weII, 569 00:53:09,953 --> 00:53:12,547 ''Dear Father, the hopeIess memory of one young chiId 570 00:53:12,756 --> 00:53:15,748 had me isoIated from everything in a terrifying soIitude, 571 00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:19,723 and it seems as if another chiId has drawn me out of it, 572 00:53:20,864 --> 00:53:24,061 I hope I don't hurt your pride by caIIing you a chiId, 573 00:53:24,534 --> 00:53:27,901 You are one, and may God keep you so aIways, 574 00:53:31,875 --> 00:53:34,105 I ask myseIf how you did it, 575 00:53:34,477 --> 00:53:36,411 or, rather, I have ceased to ask, 576 00:53:36,513 --> 00:53:37,980 AII is weII, 577 00:53:38,815 --> 00:53:41,147 I didn't beIieve resignation was possibIe, 578 00:53:41,952 --> 00:53:44,682 and in fact it's not resignation that's come over me, 579 00:53:44,888 --> 00:53:47,823 I'm not resigned - I'm happy, 580 00:53:49,793 --> 00:53:51,556 I desire nothing, 581 00:53:58,368 --> 00:54:01,360 I had to teII you these things this very evening, 582 00:54:02,839 --> 00:54:05,569 We shaII never speak of them ever again, shaII we? 583 00:54:05,675 --> 00:54:07,199 Never, 584 00:54:08,078 --> 00:54:10,342 It is good, that word 'never,' 585 00:54:11,181 --> 00:54:13,877 I feeI it expresses, beyond words, 586 00:54:14,417 --> 00:54:16,817 the peace you have given me,'' 587 00:54:39,376 --> 00:54:41,742 The countess died Iast night, 588 00:55:21,751 --> 00:55:24,652 / arrived at the manor streaming with sweat, 589 00:55:30,093 --> 00:55:32,391 The count pretended not to see me, 590 00:55:33,496 --> 00:55:36,897 She feII out of bed, breaking objects on the night tabIe, 591 00:55:37,100 --> 00:55:38,658 Angina pectoris, no doubt, 592 00:55:38,868 --> 00:55:41,701 She hasn't been quite herseIf for some time, 593 00:55:51,614 --> 00:55:55,277 On her face / had hoped to see- / don't know-perhaps a smiIe, 594 00:55:56,953 --> 00:55:58,682 But she wasn't smiIing, 595 00:56:06,529 --> 00:56:09,623 My arm was Iike Iead in raising it to bIess her, 596 00:56:28,852 --> 00:56:30,752 / Ieft the manor about 2,'00, 597 00:56:30,854 --> 00:56:34,381 and catechism cIass ended much Iater than / thought it wouId, 598 00:56:42,766 --> 00:56:46,793 Upon returning, / found a continuous parade of cars, 599 00:56:47,270 --> 00:56:50,034 and the murmur of voices filIed the manor, 600 00:56:52,575 --> 00:56:55,510 /'d have Iiked to spend the night at the countess'side, 601 00:56:57,247 --> 00:56:59,181 but the nuns were there, 602 00:56:59,282 --> 00:57:04,743 and the canon, the count's uncIe, had decided to keep watch with them, 603 00:57:06,189 --> 00:57:08,123 / didn't dare insist, 604 00:57:13,463 --> 00:57:15,988 / entered her room for the Iast time, 605 00:57:22,605 --> 00:57:26,063 The memory of our struggIe 606 00:57:26,276 --> 00:57:29,507 came back so vividIy that / thought / wouId faint, 607 00:57:47,197 --> 00:57:49,461 / parted the musIin veiI 608 00:57:49,899 --> 00:57:51,958 and brushed her forehead with my fingers, 609 00:57:54,604 --> 00:57:56,799 / had said to her, ''Peace be with you, '' 610 00:57:57,474 --> 00:57:59,999 and she'd received that peace on her knees, 611 00:58:02,412 --> 00:58:06,473 What wonder, that one can give what one doesn't possess,i 612 00:58:07,917 --> 00:58:10,442 Oh, miracIe of our empty hands,i 613 00:58:29,839 --> 00:58:32,307 / thought / heard murmuring as / passed, 614 00:58:32,942 --> 00:58:35,103 They seemed to be taIking about me, 615 00:58:53,029 --> 00:58:55,429 You saw my great-niece here? 616 00:58:56,165 --> 00:58:58,099 Yes, Canon, 617 00:58:58,501 --> 00:59:00,332 Here, and in the church, 618 00:59:00,937 --> 00:59:03,030 She worked her way around you, I've no doubt, 619 00:59:04,774 --> 00:59:06,867 I treated her harshIy, 620 00:59:07,410 --> 00:59:09,605 Indeed, I think I humiIiated her, 621 00:59:10,780 --> 00:59:12,975 Do you feeI you influence her? 622 00:59:14,551 --> 00:59:15,984 Not at the moment, 623 00:59:17,954 --> 00:59:21,788 But she won't forget I stood up to her and that you cannot deceive God, 624 00:59:22,292 --> 00:59:24,852 Her version of your meeting is very different, 625 00:59:24,961 --> 00:59:29,125 Miss ChantaI is too proud not to bIush one day at such a Iie, 626 00:59:29,699 --> 00:59:30,996 She'II feeI ashamed, 627 00:59:31,935 --> 00:59:33,800 and she needs to feeI ashamed, 628 00:59:36,372 --> 00:59:37,600 What about you? 629 00:59:38,608 --> 00:59:40,599 Oh, me,,, 630 00:59:42,879 --> 00:59:44,710 You negIect your heaIth, 631 00:59:44,814 --> 00:59:47,248 My stomach is very touchy, 632 00:59:47,417 --> 00:59:49,647 It digests onIy bread, fruit, wine, 633 00:59:49,752 --> 00:59:54,280 In your state, I fear wine may do more harm than good, 634 00:59:55,491 --> 00:59:57,982 The iIIusion of heaIth is not heaIth, 635 01:00:00,597 --> 01:00:01,461 Father, 636 01:00:01,564 --> 01:00:05,967 there probabIy aren't two things we agree on about how to run a parish, 637 01:00:06,869 --> 01:00:09,599 but this is your parish to run as you see fit, 638 01:00:09,806 --> 01:00:12,400 One has onIy to hear you, 639 01:00:13,343 --> 01:00:16,835 I needn't know what happened between you and the Iate countess, 640 01:00:18,214 --> 01:00:21,479 but I wish to cut short some fooIish and dangerous taIk, 641 01:00:22,885 --> 01:00:24,819 My nephew is moving heaven and earth, 642 01:00:25,655 --> 01:00:28,317 The bishop, a simpIe man, takes him seriousIy, 643 01:00:30,226 --> 01:00:33,457 Sum up in a Iine or two your conversation of the other day, 644 01:00:35,331 --> 01:00:37,424 I'm not asking you to be inaccurate, 645 01:00:38,301 --> 01:00:44,934 stiII Iess to reveaI anything confided to you as a priest, 646 01:00:46,843 --> 01:00:50,939 The paper won't Ieave my pocket except to be pIaced before his grace's eyes, 647 01:00:53,149 --> 01:00:54,548 You distrust me? 648 01:00:54,651 --> 01:00:58,314 I don't see how there couId be any report of such a conversation, 649 01:01:00,223 --> 01:01:02,248 There were no witnesses, 650 01:01:02,525 --> 01:01:06,222 The countess aIone couId give authority for that, 651 01:01:10,166 --> 01:01:12,828 Very weII, Let's drop the idea, 652 01:01:14,837 --> 01:01:16,964 We'II meet again tomorrow, if you agree, 653 01:01:17,540 --> 01:01:22,034 I meant to prepare you for your conversation with my nephew, 654 01:01:22,545 --> 01:01:25,673 You're not one of those who can speak and yet say nothing, 655 01:01:26,315 --> 01:01:28,977 but unfortunateIy that's what is caIIed for, 656 01:01:29,752 --> 01:01:33,518 But what have I done wrong? What have they got against me? 657 01:01:33,790 --> 01:01:35,815 That you are what you are, 658 01:01:36,025 --> 01:01:38,960 and nothing can be done about that, my chiId, 659 01:01:39,395 --> 01:01:42,364 PeopIe don't hate your simpIicity- they shieId themseIves from it, 660 01:01:43,032 --> 01:01:45,660 It's Iike a flame that burns them, 661 01:01:52,141 --> 01:01:54,439 / went to the manor as /'d promised, 662 01:01:59,582 --> 01:02:02,551 Miss ChantaI came to the door, which made me suspicious, 663 01:02:15,064 --> 01:02:17,032 she aImost pushed me into the drawing room, 664 01:02:17,133 --> 01:02:18,862 The shutters were cIosed, 665 01:02:30,613 --> 01:02:32,581 The countess'armchair 666 01:02:33,149 --> 01:02:36,676 and the bIackened Iogs were stiII in the same pIace, 667 01:02:44,127 --> 01:02:47,062 Young Iady, I've very IittIe time, 668 01:02:50,233 --> 01:02:51,962 I wiII speak standing up, 669 01:02:55,171 --> 01:02:56,502 Why? 670 01:02:57,507 --> 01:03:00,169 My pIace is not here, and neither is yours, 671 01:03:01,911 --> 01:03:03,902 Are you afraid of the dead? 672 01:03:18,828 --> 01:03:22,229 The governess is packing and Ieaves this evening, 673 01:03:22,799 --> 01:03:25,029 You see, I get what I want, 674 01:03:25,434 --> 01:03:27,629 LittIe good it wiII do you, 675 01:03:28,437 --> 01:03:31,429 If you stay as you are, you'II aIways find someone to hate, 676 01:03:32,542 --> 01:03:35,170 But the onIy person you reaIIy hate is yourseIf, 677 01:03:35,545 --> 01:03:38,412 I'd hate myseIf the same if didn't get what I wanted, 678 01:03:39,482 --> 01:03:41,473 I must be happy! Otherwise - 679 01:03:43,386 --> 01:03:44,910 Anyway, it's their fauIt, 680 01:03:45,054 --> 01:03:47,682 Why keep me cooped up in this ghastIy pIace? 681 01:03:48,324 --> 01:03:51,316 BIood pounding in my veins, but never aIIowed to raise my voice! 682 01:03:51,427 --> 01:03:55,591 Hunched aII day over boring needIework, biting my tongue! 683 01:03:56,132 --> 01:03:57,759 It's awfuI! 684 01:04:00,136 --> 01:04:02,468 That's when I can feeI - I don't know - 685 01:04:03,806 --> 01:04:06,832 this extraordinary force buiIding up inside me, 686 01:04:07,777 --> 01:04:10,712 Life itseIf won't be Iong enough to Iet it aII out, 687 01:04:11,180 --> 01:04:13,410 Aren't you ashamed of such chatter? 688 01:04:24,927 --> 01:04:27,157 The count arrivedjust then from the fieIds, 689 01:04:27,763 --> 01:04:30,994 smoking his pipe with a contented air, 690 01:04:33,436 --> 01:04:34,994 Has my daughter given you 691 01:04:35,204 --> 01:04:39,231 the papers from my father-in-Iaw's funeraI? 692 01:04:39,742 --> 01:04:41,937 I shouId Iike this one to be the same, 693 01:04:42,144 --> 01:04:44,806 - She gave me nothing, - Didn't you see her? 694 01:04:47,016 --> 01:04:49,746 Father and I spoke of other things, 695 01:04:50,553 --> 01:04:53,283 You ought to give him a free hand, 696 01:04:53,856 --> 01:04:56,154 AII these compIications are ridicuIous, 697 01:04:56,459 --> 01:04:59,360 You shouId sign the governess' check, too, 698 01:04:59,862 --> 01:05:03,389 Remember she's Ieaving this evening, - She's not staying for the funeraI? 699 01:05:03,833 --> 01:05:05,698 Everyone's sure to wonder why, 700 01:05:05,801 --> 01:05:07,393 Everyone? 701 01:05:07,637 --> 01:05:10,868 I'd be surprised if anyone noticed her absence, 702 01:05:10,973 --> 01:05:13,533 And six months' wages? That's ridicuIous! 703 01:05:14,410 --> 01:05:17,846 She deserves a bit of a break, 704 01:05:17,947 --> 01:05:20,177 Life here hasn't been much fun, 705 01:05:21,450 --> 01:05:23,782 Your checkbook is in the desk, 706 01:05:24,287 --> 01:05:25,777 Later, Iater, 707 01:05:26,689 --> 01:05:27,815 Very weII, 708 01:05:28,958 --> 01:05:32,257 I onIy wanted to spare you having to discuss it with her, 709 01:05:32,528 --> 01:05:34,291 She's quite distressed, 710 01:05:36,032 --> 01:05:38,364 Father, I may as weII be frank, 711 01:05:38,467 --> 01:05:39,729 I respect the cIergy, 712 01:05:39,835 --> 01:05:42,565 My famiIy's aIways been on good terms with your predecessors, 713 01:05:42,772 --> 01:05:45,366 terms of mutuaI respect and friendship, 714 01:05:45,708 --> 01:05:48,336 But no priest shaII meddIe in my famiIy affairs! 715 01:05:57,053 --> 01:05:59,146 We get invoIved sometimes against our wiII, 716 01:05:59,255 --> 01:06:02,122 You have been unwiIIingIy, or at Ieast unknowingIy, 717 01:06:02,224 --> 01:06:04,055 the cause of a great misfortune, 718 01:06:04,427 --> 01:06:07,692 I don't wish you to speak to my daughter again, 719 01:06:07,797 --> 01:06:10,061 How have I caused a misfortune? 720 01:06:10,166 --> 01:06:12,600 My uncIe must have expIained, 721 01:06:13,302 --> 01:06:16,271 Suffice it to say that I disapprove of your indiscretions, 722 01:06:16,505 --> 01:06:21,306 Your character and your habits are a danger to the parish, 723 01:06:22,345 --> 01:06:23,573 My habits? 724 01:06:24,613 --> 01:06:26,774 I bid you good day, Father, 725 01:07:20,002 --> 01:07:22,436 The countess was buried this morning, 726 01:07:29,045 --> 01:07:32,242 Her Iong ordeaI is over, Now mine begins, 727 01:07:39,288 --> 01:07:44,487 Where did that mixture ofjoy and fear come from when /'d bIessed her? 728 01:07:44,827 --> 01:07:46,624 That strange tenderness? 729 01:07:49,865 --> 01:07:51,958 she aIready beIonged to the unseen worId, 730 01:07:53,269 --> 01:07:55,863 Without reaIizing it, /'d gIimpsed on her brow 731 01:07:55,971 --> 01:07:58,599 a reflection of the peace of the dead, 732 01:07:59,208 --> 01:08:01,403 One must sureIy pay for that,i 733 01:08:09,785 --> 01:08:12,117 Though / thought / must destroy those pages 734 01:08:12,221 --> 01:08:14,712 written in a moment of true deIirium, 735 01:08:16,258 --> 01:08:18,658 yet / wouId bear witness against my own seIf 736 01:08:21,297 --> 01:08:23,390 that my difficuIt ordeaI, 737 01:08:24,133 --> 01:08:26,624 the greatest deception of my poor Iife- 738 01:08:27,703 --> 01:08:30,228 for / couIdn't imagine worse- 739 01:08:31,307 --> 01:08:33,741 found me Iacking in both resignation 740 01:08:34,443 --> 01:08:36,138 and courage, 741 01:08:37,379 --> 01:08:40,007 and that / was tempted to- 742 01:09:06,342 --> 01:09:09,038 - Did you come on my account? - Never mind that, my boy, 743 01:09:09,245 --> 01:09:10,803 I do as I pIease, 744 01:09:11,247 --> 01:09:14,182 You shouId pay a IittIe attention to how you dress, 745 01:09:14,683 --> 01:09:16,480 That cape, for instance, 746 01:09:16,585 --> 01:09:18,314 And then there's your heaIth, 747 01:09:18,420 --> 01:09:20,411 - I can't controI that, - Yes, you can, 748 01:09:20,623 --> 01:09:22,921 Your diet's absurd, 749 01:09:23,025 --> 01:09:25,619 Indeed, I must give you a good taIking to about that, 750 01:09:26,028 --> 01:09:29,520 And you're surprised when you feeI iII! 751 01:09:29,632 --> 01:09:32,066 I'd get stomach cramps too if I ate as you do! 752 01:09:32,168 --> 01:09:36,935 As for the inner Iife, my Iad, I'm afraid it's the same thing: 753 01:09:37,606 --> 01:09:39,733 You don't pray enough, 754 01:09:39,942 --> 01:09:43,605 You suffer too much to pray, That's how I see it, 755 01:09:45,915 --> 01:09:47,439 But I can't pray, 756 01:09:47,650 --> 01:09:49,845 If you can't pray, just repeat the words! 757 01:09:50,519 --> 01:09:54,387 Listen, I don't think I've been wrong about you, 758 01:09:54,924 --> 01:09:57,051 Try to answer this, 759 01:09:57,927 --> 01:10:00,395 I've thought a Iot about vocation, 760 01:10:00,663 --> 01:10:02,324 We've aII received the caIIing, 761 01:10:02,531 --> 01:10:05,159 onIy not in the same way, 762 01:10:05,968 --> 01:10:07,731 And to simpIify things, 763 01:10:07,937 --> 01:10:11,634 I try to put each of us in his pIace - in the GospeIs, 764 01:10:12,441 --> 01:10:15,376 In short, I think- or I imagine - 765 01:10:15,511 --> 01:10:18,605 if our souI couId drag this wretched body of ours 766 01:10:19,248 --> 01:10:22,115 back up that sIope of 2,000 years, 767 01:10:22,751 --> 01:10:25,686 it wouId Iead it straight to the very pIace where - 768 01:10:26,622 --> 01:10:28,783 What? What's the matter? 769 01:10:31,460 --> 01:10:32,950 Are you crying? 770 01:10:35,197 --> 01:10:38,257 / hadn't reaIized / was crying, 771 01:10:41,737 --> 01:10:45,138 The truth is that / aIways return to the oIive grove, 772 01:10:47,610 --> 01:10:50,670 /t was a very famiIiar and naturaI movement for my souI, 773 01:10:52,181 --> 01:10:54,411 /'d never reaIized it untiI that moment, 774 01:10:56,452 --> 01:10:59,012 suddenIy, Our Lord had shown me grace 775 01:10:59,855 --> 01:11:02,119 and reveaIed through my oId master's Iips 776 01:11:02,758 --> 01:11:06,216 that nothing wouId tear me from my chosen pIace in eternity, 777 01:11:07,763 --> 01:11:10,129 / was a prisoner of the HoIy Agony, 778 01:11:19,241 --> 01:11:21,266 I didn't think you were such a chiId, 779 01:11:24,446 --> 01:11:26,471 Your nerves are shot to bits, my son, 780 01:11:48,203 --> 01:11:51,502 That's enough, now, We can't stay here aII day, 781 01:11:54,209 --> 01:11:58,145 After aII, maybe God means to keep you in misery, 782 01:11:59,148 --> 01:12:02,083 But triaIs never warp our judgment 783 01:12:02,351 --> 01:12:04,410 when the weIfare of souIs is in question, 784 01:12:06,088 --> 01:12:09,649 I've been hearing some disturbing things about you, 785 01:12:10,626 --> 01:12:13,117 But no matter, I know how maIicious peopIe can be, 786 01:12:13,562 --> 01:12:17,430 But the fooIish way you deaIt with the countess - meIodrama! 787 01:12:18,233 --> 01:12:19,825 I don't understand, 788 01:12:20,369 --> 01:12:22,462 That business with the medaIIion, 789 01:12:23,839 --> 01:12:24,965 The medaIIion? 790 01:12:25,074 --> 01:12:29,010 Don't be siIIy! There was a witness, Nothing miracuIous about it, 791 01:12:29,211 --> 01:12:31,475 - Who saw us? - Her daughter, 792 01:12:31,680 --> 01:12:33,773 You caII that resignation? 793 01:12:33,882 --> 01:12:37,409 Forcing a mother to burn the one reIic of her dead chiId, 794 01:12:37,619 --> 01:12:41,385 It's Iike a story from the OId Testament! 795 01:12:41,523 --> 01:12:43,787 And to speak of eternaI separation! 796 01:12:44,460 --> 01:12:46,894 One doesn't bIackmaiI souIs, my chiId, 797 01:12:48,330 --> 01:12:51,390 That's your version of what happened, I couId teII a different one, 798 01:12:52,668 --> 01:12:54,226 But it's essentiaIIy true, 799 01:12:54,336 --> 01:12:56,304 Is that aII you can say? 800 01:12:57,373 --> 01:12:58,806 Yes, 801 01:13:04,813 --> 01:13:07,748 Whatever happens, don't see the daughter again, She's a demon! 802 01:13:11,453 --> 01:13:13,614 I won't cIose my door to her, 803 01:13:15,424 --> 01:13:18,951 I'II cIose my door to no one whiIe I am the priest here, 804 01:13:19,061 --> 01:13:21,495 She cIaims her mother fought you to the Iast, 805 01:13:21,697 --> 01:13:24,689 and that you Ieft her upset and spirituaIIy distraught, 806 01:13:24,800 --> 01:13:25,767 Is that true? 807 01:13:28,871 --> 01:13:30,133 You Ieft her- 808 01:13:30,239 --> 01:13:32,173 I Ieft her with God, 809 01:13:32,274 --> 01:13:35,766 The memory of your harsh words may have tormented her as she died, 810 01:13:38,647 --> 01:13:40,444 She died in peace, 811 01:13:41,417 --> 01:13:42,975 How wouId you know? 812 01:13:54,296 --> 01:13:55,854 In any case, she's dead now, 813 01:13:56,064 --> 01:13:57,827 What do you expect peopIe to think? 814 01:13:58,700 --> 01:14:01,191 Scenes Iike that aren't good for someone with heart troubIe, 815 01:14:06,909 --> 01:14:09,309 / wasn't even tempted to speak of the Ietter, 816 01:14:09,511 --> 01:14:11,308 / returned to the rectory, 817 01:14:13,382 --> 01:14:17,182 /nstead of suffering, it feIt Iike a great weight had been Iifted, 818 01:14:19,254 --> 01:14:23,054 That meeting with the priest from Torcy was Iike a rehearsaI 819 01:14:23,258 --> 01:14:26,489 for those / was to have very shortIy with my superiors, 820 01:14:27,396 --> 01:14:30,593 /'d discovered, with something bordering on joy, that / had nothing to say, 821 01:14:33,101 --> 01:14:37,060 For two days, /'d feared being accused of something / hadn't done,,, 822 01:14:38,440 --> 01:14:41,568 and honesty wouId have forbidden me to remain siIent, 823 01:14:42,544 --> 01:14:47,345 But now, / couId Iet everyone judge my actions for himseIf, 824 01:14:50,352 --> 01:14:52,343 / was very reIieved as weII 825 01:14:52,821 --> 01:14:56,120 to think Miss ChantaI couId have been sincereIy mistaken 826 01:14:56,592 --> 01:15:00,858 as to the reaI meaning of our taIk, which she may weII have misheard, 827 01:15:27,556 --> 01:15:28,887 My poor chiId,i 828 01:15:29,958 --> 01:15:32,791 So that's how it is, 829 01:15:33,662 --> 01:15:36,563 / didn't understand yet, / didn't understand anything, 830 01:15:37,099 --> 01:15:39,533 Except that the strange peace /'djust enjoyed 831 01:15:39,735 --> 01:15:42,169 was the harbinger of a new misfortune, 832 01:15:43,238 --> 01:15:46,105 This isn't wine, It's some monstrous poison, 833 01:15:46,208 --> 01:15:48,005 It's aII I have, 834 01:15:48,110 --> 01:15:49,634 You shouId have asked me, 835 01:15:50,546 --> 01:15:51,843 I swear, 836 01:15:51,947 --> 01:15:54,973 SiIence! With that stuff inside you, it's a wonder you're not dead, 837 01:15:57,519 --> 01:16:00,750 I'm gIad I came, Come, sit down, 838 01:16:06,495 --> 01:16:08,963 My voice trembIed in my chest as it aIways did 839 01:16:09,064 --> 01:16:12,192 whenever something inside toId me / had to stand my ground, 840 01:16:13,201 --> 01:16:15,795 No force in the worId couId have made me sit, 841 01:16:16,271 --> 01:16:18,967 Listen, I'm not angry with you, 842 01:16:19,074 --> 01:16:21,702 and I don't take you for a drunk, 843 01:16:22,511 --> 01:16:25,105 We country peopIe of these parts 844 01:16:25,213 --> 01:16:27,613 are aII more or Iess drunkards' chiIdren, 845 01:16:28,450 --> 01:16:31,248 DeIbende put his finger on the troubIe right off, 846 01:16:32,287 --> 01:16:34,812 You were born pickIed in the stuff, my poor friend, 847 01:16:35,757 --> 01:16:38,385 I'm sure you had no idea, 848 01:16:38,794 --> 01:16:42,321 But you sIowIy drifted into expecting from wine - and what wine! - 849 01:16:42,931 --> 01:16:46,867 the strength and courage you might have gotten from a good roast, 850 01:16:47,803 --> 01:16:49,828 Mind you, you've not been offending God, 851 01:16:50,405 --> 01:16:53,568 But now you've been warned, and you'd offend Him now, 852 01:16:53,775 --> 01:16:55,902 / Iooked at him distractedIy, 853 01:16:57,012 --> 01:16:59,242 He's a strong and steady man, 854 01:16:59,615 --> 01:17:03,278 A true servant of God, He too has faced up to it, 855 01:17:04,553 --> 01:17:07,716 /t was as if we were bidding fareweII to each other 856 01:17:07,823 --> 01:17:09,620 across some invisibIe highway, 857 01:17:09,725 --> 01:17:12,250 Above aII, don't Iet your imagination run away with you, 858 01:17:12,361 --> 01:17:15,159 I've onIy one thing to say: 859 01:17:15,397 --> 01:17:17,888 You are a wonderfuI IittIe priest in spite of everything, 860 01:17:18,100 --> 01:17:20,568 And with no maIice to the poor woman who died - 861 01:17:20,869 --> 01:17:22,097 PIease don't, 862 01:17:22,204 --> 01:17:24,502 You're right, We'II not speak of that, 863 01:17:32,214 --> 01:17:33,875 And now, work, 864 01:17:34,783 --> 01:17:37,479 Do IittIe things, from day to day, whiIe you wait, 865 01:17:38,687 --> 01:17:42,145 LittIe things don't seem Iike much, but they bring peace, 866 01:17:43,258 --> 01:17:45,226 And try to pray, 867 01:17:45,427 --> 01:17:46,951 Persevere, 868 01:17:47,763 --> 01:17:49,526 Pray to the HoIy Virgin, 869 01:17:49,798 --> 01:17:52,961 She is, of course, the mother of mankind, 870 01:17:53,068 --> 01:17:54,968 but she is aIso its daughter, 871 01:17:55,070 --> 01:17:58,130 The ancient worId, the worId before grace, 872 01:17:58,340 --> 01:18:00,399 rocked her in its cradIe, 873 01:18:00,876 --> 01:18:03,845 For centuries its oId hands protected 874 01:18:04,079 --> 01:18:07,139 the wondrous young girI whose name it didn't even know, 875 01:18:08,183 --> 01:18:10,515 A IittIe girI, this queen of the angeIs, 876 01:18:11,219 --> 01:18:14,086 which she stiII is to this day, Never forget that, 877 01:18:14,289 --> 01:18:15,847 Thank you, 878 01:18:17,893 --> 01:18:19,724 Give me your bIessing, 879 01:18:25,500 --> 01:18:28,628 No, it's your turn today, 880 01:18:54,896 --> 01:18:56,625 Here you are, Father, 881 01:18:56,832 --> 01:18:58,766 No, thanks, Nothing, 882 01:19:00,936 --> 01:19:02,494 It wiII pass, 883 01:19:07,476 --> 01:19:09,501 This wiII put you right again, 884 01:19:19,921 --> 01:19:21,388 FeeIing better? 885 01:19:24,359 --> 01:19:27,658 Much better, thank you, 886 01:20:07,035 --> 01:20:08,764 / shouId have gone home, 887 01:20:09,371 --> 01:20:13,034 My stomach hurt Iess, / just feIt a sIight dizziness, 888 01:20:58,753 --> 01:21:02,211 / must have fainted the first time beyond the Auchy woods, 889 01:21:03,325 --> 01:21:05,793 / thought / was stiII struggIing upright, 890 01:21:06,161 --> 01:21:09,324 and yet / couId feeI the frozen earth against my cheek, 891 01:21:10,332 --> 01:21:14,359 ''They'II find me haIf dead, ''/ thought, Yet another scandaI, 892 01:21:15,804 --> 01:21:17,635 / think / caIIed out, 893 01:21:25,814 --> 01:21:28,009 My poor head couIdn't stand it anymore, 894 01:21:29,351 --> 01:21:32,582 The image of the HoIy virgin as described by the priest 895 01:21:32,787 --> 01:21:34,721 was constantIy before me, 896 01:21:37,459 --> 01:21:40,758 A subIime creature, Her hands- 897 01:21:40,962 --> 01:21:42,657 / stared at her hands, 898 01:21:43,732 --> 01:21:46,860 Now /'d see them, now they'd disappear, 899 01:21:48,436 --> 01:21:50,495 As my pain grew more extreme, 900 01:21:50,705 --> 01:21:52,764 / took one of them in mine, 901 01:21:54,376 --> 01:21:56,503 /t was the hand of a poor chiId, 902 01:21:56,711 --> 01:21:59,339 aIready roughened by hard work and washing, 903 01:22:01,216 --> 01:22:02,877 / cIosed my eyes, 904 01:22:03,485 --> 01:22:05,476 / feared, when opening them again, 905 01:22:05,587 --> 01:22:08,954 to see the face before which every knee must bend, 906 01:22:10,825 --> 01:22:11,814 / saw Him, 907 01:22:13,828 --> 01:22:17,423 /t was a chiId's face, without the sIightest radiance, 908 01:22:34,983 --> 01:22:38,009 I fiIIed it at the pond, It seemed safer, 909 01:22:39,955 --> 01:22:42,185 They're aII there in the house, 910 01:22:42,924 --> 01:22:45,290 I had gone out to bring the cows in, 911 01:22:46,761 --> 01:22:49,321 You shouIdn't Iet yourseIf get in such a state! 912 01:22:50,265 --> 01:22:51,857 It's Iucky I found you, 913 01:22:52,767 --> 01:22:54,962 I thought you were dead, 914 01:22:55,070 --> 01:22:58,369 - I have to get up, - You can't go home Iooking Iike that, 915 01:22:58,807 --> 01:23:00,172 What's wrong with me? 916 01:23:01,843 --> 01:23:03,504 You've vomited, 917 01:23:03,712 --> 01:23:07,011 It's smeared aII over your face as if you'd been eating bIackberries, 918 01:23:22,063 --> 01:23:25,226 You're shaking, Let me do it, I'm used to it, 919 01:23:26,167 --> 01:23:29,898 My, my, Another thing entireIy from Iast week at the wedding! 920 01:23:30,872 --> 01:23:33,534 Come to the rectory tomorrow, 921 01:23:34,309 --> 01:23:35,708 I'II expIain, 922 01:23:35,810 --> 01:23:37,539 Heavens, no! 923 01:23:37,645 --> 01:23:40,375 I've said too many awfuI things about you, 924 01:23:40,582 --> 01:23:42,209 TerribIe things, 925 01:23:45,653 --> 01:23:48,213 I know you didn't do this on purpose, 926 01:23:50,658 --> 01:23:52,990 They probabIy put some powder in your gIass, 927 01:23:53,461 --> 01:23:56,259 They do things Iike that for fun, 928 01:23:58,133 --> 01:24:02,297 But thanks to me, they won't have their fun this time, 929 01:24:10,145 --> 01:24:12,340 I'II take you as far as the road, 930 01:24:50,418 --> 01:24:52,352 Hurry home now, 931 01:24:52,454 --> 01:24:56,015 I had a dream about you Iast night, You Iooked miserabIe, 932 01:24:56,491 --> 01:24:58,652 I woke up crying, 933 01:25:26,454 --> 01:25:29,480 The cIoth was stiff, and the water had turned red, 934 01:25:30,191 --> 01:25:32,659 / reaIized /'d Iost a Iot ofbIood, 935 01:25:36,631 --> 01:25:40,590 / was so surprised- fear of death came onIy Iater- 936 01:25:41,369 --> 01:25:44,600 that / decided to take the first train to LiIIe in the morning, 937 01:25:48,843 --> 01:25:51,641 At the cock's crow, / woke feeIing fine, 938 01:25:54,549 --> 01:25:57,814 Another bit ofhemorrhaging, More Iike spitting bIood, 939 01:26:00,088 --> 01:26:01,783 Fear of death, 940 01:26:03,124 --> 01:26:07,026 strange how my whoIe body seems to quiver around one point in my breast, 941 01:26:25,246 --> 01:26:27,840 Dawn is aIways so sweet to me, 942 01:26:28,917 --> 01:26:30,646 BIess mornings,i 943 01:26:32,086 --> 01:26:33,713 / pray better, 944 01:27:11,693 --> 01:27:13,854 You're going away tomorrow, I hear, 945 01:27:17,065 --> 01:27:18,191 Yes, 946 01:27:19,634 --> 01:27:21,602 WiII you be coming back? 947 01:27:28,376 --> 01:27:29,809 That depends, 948 01:27:29,911 --> 01:27:32,607 It depends,,, on you? 949 01:27:33,581 --> 01:27:36,175 On the doctor I'm to see in LiIIe, 950 01:27:41,289 --> 01:27:43,382 I thought - 951 01:28:02,410 --> 01:28:04,401 That's OIivier's motorcycIe, 952 01:28:06,147 --> 01:28:07,774 My cousin, 953 01:28:12,920 --> 01:28:14,615 HeIp me 954 01:28:14,822 --> 01:28:16,619 as Iong as you're here - 955 01:28:16,824 --> 01:28:19,088 against your father's wiII, I might add, 956 01:28:38,246 --> 01:28:40,180 You sure keep your cards hidden, 957 01:28:43,351 --> 01:28:45,649 May I ask what you think of me? 958 01:28:47,422 --> 01:28:49,151 A priest has no opinions, 959 01:28:52,427 --> 01:28:54,691 You have eyes and ears 960 01:28:54,896 --> 01:28:57,364 and make use of them Iike everyone eIse, I suppose, 961 01:28:58,433 --> 01:29:00,424 They wouId teII me nothing about you, 962 01:29:05,606 --> 01:29:07,039 Why not? 963 01:29:08,876 --> 01:29:11,436 You're aIways restIess, 964 01:29:12,180 --> 01:29:15,081 hoping to conceaI the truth of your souI 965 01:29:15,717 --> 01:29:17,776 or perhaps to forget it, 966 01:29:19,053 --> 01:29:21,078 I'm not afraid of the truth, 967 01:29:23,591 --> 01:29:25,491 And if you're daring me - 968 01:29:26,594 --> 01:29:28,528 I'm not daring you, 969 01:29:29,397 --> 01:29:32,855 I'd onIy agree to hear your confession if you were in danger of death, 970 01:29:34,969 --> 01:29:36,994 AbsoIution wiII come in due time, I hope, 971 01:29:37,271 --> 01:29:39,136 and from someone eIse's hand, 972 01:29:40,108 --> 01:29:42,338 That wasn't hard to predict, 973 01:29:42,844 --> 01:29:45,438 Father wiII be sure to have you transferred, 974 01:29:46,681 --> 01:29:49,343 Everyone here takes you for a drunkard, 975 01:30:46,140 --> 01:30:48,540 If you onIy knew what I think of Iife, 976 01:30:51,145 --> 01:30:54,137 I want everything, I'II try everything, 977 01:30:56,150 --> 01:31:00,177 I know pIenty of others have died without managing to do that, 978 01:31:01,122 --> 01:31:03,181 If Iife disappoints me, so be it, 979 01:31:03,391 --> 01:31:05,382 I wiII sin just for sin's sake, 980 01:31:10,331 --> 01:31:12,060 That's the moment you'II find God, 981 01:31:12,366 --> 01:31:16,427 I feeI Iike - I don't know - insuIting you! 982 01:31:17,939 --> 01:31:20,703 You think you can decide my fate against my wiII? 983 01:31:21,676 --> 01:31:23,735 I'II damn myseIf if I pIease, 984 01:31:25,346 --> 01:31:27,541 I answer for you, souI for souI, 985 01:31:30,418 --> 01:31:33,012 Are you just saying whatever strikes your fancy? 986 01:31:38,793 --> 01:31:41,261 I was at the window when you spoke with Mother, 987 01:31:43,664 --> 01:31:46,064 AII of a sudden, her expression became so gentIe, 988 01:31:48,302 --> 01:31:51,237 I don't beIieve in miracIes any more than I do in ghosts, 989 01:31:51,372 --> 01:31:53,533 but I think I knew my mother, 990 01:31:53,741 --> 01:31:56,869 She cared for fine phrases Iike a fish cares for appIes, 991 01:31:59,947 --> 01:32:01,915 Do you have some secret? 992 01:32:04,652 --> 01:32:06,449 A Iost secret, 993 01:32:08,289 --> 01:32:10,985 You too wiII find it and Iose it in turn, 994 01:32:12,093 --> 01:32:14,618 and others wiII pass it on after you, 995 01:33:15,890 --> 01:33:17,357 Where are you going, Father? 996 01:33:17,558 --> 01:33:19,492 To M�zargues, to catch the train, 997 01:33:19,694 --> 01:33:22,561 Ever ridden on one of these? Want to try? 998 01:33:22,797 --> 01:33:24,424 Come on, 999 01:33:47,955 --> 01:33:49,479 You're not frightened? 1000 01:33:51,459 --> 01:33:54,257 How couId / feeI so miracuIousIy young then? 1001 01:33:54,462 --> 01:33:57,226 Yes, as young as my companion, 1002 01:33:58,299 --> 01:34:00,358 Things suddenIy seemed simpIe, 1003 01:34:00,568 --> 01:34:02,399 Youth is bIessed, 1004 01:34:02,603 --> 01:34:06,039 /t's a risk you take, and even that risk is bIessed, 1005 01:34:07,208 --> 01:34:08,539 HoId on! 1006 01:34:13,748 --> 01:34:15,773 By some premonition / can't expIain, 1007 01:34:15,983 --> 01:34:19,612 / understood that God didn't want me to die 1008 01:34:19,820 --> 01:34:21,811 without knowing something of this risk, 1009 01:34:22,023 --> 01:34:25,015 just enough for my sacrifice to be compIete when it's time came, 1010 01:34:32,700 --> 01:34:35,191 Too bad you're Ieaving, We couId have done this again, 1011 01:34:52,853 --> 01:34:55,617 I Iike you, We couId have been friends, 1012 01:34:57,591 --> 01:34:59,422 Me, your friend? 1013 01:34:59,627 --> 01:35:01,094 Of course, 1014 01:35:03,564 --> 01:35:06,192 Not that I haven't heard pIenty about you, 1015 01:35:06,767 --> 01:35:09,793 My uncIe thinks you're a fiIthy, good-for-nothing IittIe priest, 1016 01:35:12,039 --> 01:35:14,564 I don't suppose you care what he thinks, 1017 01:35:18,012 --> 01:35:21,607 You probabIy don't know I'm in the Foreign Regiment, 1018 01:35:23,551 --> 01:35:24,575 The Regiment? 1019 01:35:24,785 --> 01:35:26,275 The Legion, I mean, 1020 01:35:29,290 --> 01:35:32,157 If you couId onIy see yourseIf, 1021 01:35:32,259 --> 01:35:33,590 See myseIf? 1022 01:35:33,794 --> 01:35:37,423 Without that bIack robe, you'd Iook Iike any one of us, 1023 01:35:38,032 --> 01:35:40,091 I couId see that right off the bat, 1024 01:35:41,869 --> 01:35:43,302 You don't mean it, 1025 01:35:43,504 --> 01:35:45,165 I certainIy do, 1026 01:35:47,074 --> 01:35:48,632 What? A priest? 1027 01:35:48,743 --> 01:35:50,904 There are pIenty of priests out there, 1028 01:35:51,312 --> 01:35:55,009 My major's orderIy was one, We onIy found out afterwards, 1029 01:35:56,283 --> 01:35:57,614 Afterwards? 1030 01:35:57,818 --> 01:35:59,342 After his death, 1031 01:36:02,323 --> 01:36:04,154 How did he die? 1032 01:36:04,358 --> 01:36:06,758 On a muIe, strung up Iike a sausage, 1033 01:36:06,961 --> 01:36:08,895 a buIIet through his beIIy, 1034 01:36:09,196 --> 01:36:10,993 That's not what I meant, 1035 01:36:11,098 --> 01:36:13,362 Look, I won't Iie to you, 1036 01:36:14,201 --> 01:36:16,863 The guys Iike to show off when their time has come, 1037 01:36:17,204 --> 01:36:20,867 They have an expression or two you'd probabIy caII bIasphemy, 1038 01:36:21,509 --> 01:36:24,569 But if God doesn't save aII soIdiers preciseIy because they're soIdiers, 1039 01:36:25,146 --> 01:36:27,239 then what's the use? 1040 01:36:28,849 --> 01:36:32,012 One more bIasphemy for good measure, and then,,, bam, 1041 01:36:32,653 --> 01:36:34,814 It's aIways the same motto: ''AII or nothing,'' 1042 01:36:36,524 --> 01:36:38,082 I bet you yourseIf- 1043 01:36:40,027 --> 01:36:44,191 You know, my uncIe's right when he says you have no sociaI skiIIs, 1044 01:36:47,168 --> 01:36:48,829 Admit it, our worId isn't theirs, 1045 01:36:51,038 --> 01:36:52,835 I don't reject theirs, 1046 01:36:53,040 --> 01:36:55,372 But it Iacks Iove, 1047 01:36:55,476 --> 01:36:57,706 Our chaps don't have your wisdom in the matter, 1048 01:36:58,679 --> 01:37:01,341 God seems to them to stand for a justice they despise - 1049 01:37:01,549 --> 01:37:03,483 a justice without honor, 1050 01:37:04,618 --> 01:37:08,213 Their own Iaw has the merit of costing a Iot, an awfuI Iot, 1051 01:37:09,890 --> 01:37:12,324 It's Iike a sacrificiaI aItar, 1052 01:37:13,027 --> 01:37:15,393 Just a stone, no Iarger than any other, 1053 01:37:50,865 --> 01:37:54,198 DR, LAVIGNE PROFESSOR, FACULTY OF MEDICI NE 1054 01:38:32,439 --> 01:38:34,873 / waIked straight ahead toward the station, 1055 01:38:50,624 --> 01:38:53,650 / entered an oId church, / didn't even know its name, 1056 01:39:05,606 --> 01:39:10,475 /'d never feIt such a vioIent, physicaI revuIsion to prayer, 1057 01:39:12,246 --> 01:39:14,544 My wiII was heIpIess in the face of it, 1058 01:39:44,311 --> 01:39:47,872 This way you can go on quietIy writing your sermon, 1059 01:39:56,724 --> 01:40:00,455 When I was young, priests used to eat too much, 1060 01:40:00,761 --> 01:40:02,922 Now you're as skinny as aIIey cats, 1061 01:40:04,331 --> 01:40:06,629 Beginnings are aIways hard, 1062 01:40:06,834 --> 01:40:10,565 Never mind, At your age you have your whoIe Iife before you, 1063 01:40:10,871 --> 01:40:14,398 / knew to keep caIm, / had to keep siIent, 1064 01:40:26,620 --> 01:40:27,882 Cancer, 1065 01:40:29,256 --> 01:40:30,883 stomach cancer, 1066 01:40:32,259 --> 01:40:35,490 The words had rung in my ears but Ieft my mind empty, 1067 01:40:36,864 --> 01:40:39,424 / had expected something eIse,' tubercuIosis, 1068 01:40:42,269 --> 01:40:46,365 / think / just frowned, Iike when hearing of a difficuIt probIem, 1069 01:40:47,875 --> 01:40:51,367 /t took me a Iong time to reaIize / was to die from a disease 1070 01:40:51,478 --> 01:40:54,470 that rareIy strikes peopIe of my age, 1071 01:41:18,505 --> 01:41:22,100 she Ieft me aIone with a cup ofbIack coffee, 1072 01:41:37,558 --> 01:41:40,994 / feIt weII and even feII asIeep for an instant, 1073 01:41:50,871 --> 01:41:52,634 When / woke,,, 1074 01:41:53,140 --> 01:41:55,301 God, / must write it down, 1075 01:42:11,758 --> 01:42:16,218 / think of my Iast few mornings this week, 1076 01:42:16,763 --> 01:42:19,596 of the cock's crow and my peacefuI window, 1077 01:42:21,835 --> 01:42:24,303 How fresh and pure it aII was,i 1078 01:42:41,488 --> 01:42:43,353 Even though / kept teIIing myseIf 1079 01:42:43,457 --> 01:42:45,925 nothing had changed inside me over the Iast weeks, 1080 01:42:46,293 --> 01:42:51,754 the idea of going home with this,,, thing,,, made me feeI ashamed, 1081 01:43:37,211 --> 01:43:39,645 DRUGS AND SI MI LAR PRODUCTS 1082 01:43:39,980 --> 01:43:42,847 Abbot Dufrety had studied with me at the seminary 1083 01:43:42,950 --> 01:43:45,111 before being assigned to a smaII parish, 1084 01:43:46,320 --> 01:43:48,845 / knew he'd taken a Ieave from the ministry 1085 01:43:49,456 --> 01:43:51,754 onIy because of iIIness, 1086 01:44:12,212 --> 01:44:14,339 He was in shirtsIeeves, 1087 01:44:14,648 --> 01:44:18,015 in those cotton pants we wear under our cassocks, 1088 01:44:18,118 --> 01:44:19,642 and barefoot in his sIippers, 1089 01:44:20,887 --> 01:44:23,822 You might have Iet me know, I have an office in town, 1090 01:44:25,125 --> 01:44:27,889 I onIy camp out here, The pIace is disgusting, 1091 01:44:43,277 --> 01:44:46,940 I'm supposed to eat a Iot, but I don't have much appetite, 1092 01:44:47,781 --> 01:44:49,806 Remember those beans at the seminary? 1093 01:44:51,118 --> 01:44:53,985 The worst is, the cooking has to be done right here, 1094 01:44:55,088 --> 01:44:57,989 I've taken a disIike to the smeII of frying, 1095 01:45:00,127 --> 01:45:02,027 Anywhere eIse, I'd gobbIe up the stuff, 1096 01:45:06,566 --> 01:45:08,261 Nice of you to come, 1097 01:45:08,602 --> 01:45:10,695 FrankIy, I'm a bit surprised, 1098 01:45:10,904 --> 01:45:13,998 You used to be a bit narrow-minded in those days, 1099 01:45:17,411 --> 01:45:19,777 Excuse me, I'II just cIean up a bit, 1100 01:45:20,647 --> 01:45:23,514 I've had a good day, which doesn't happen often, 1101 01:45:24,051 --> 01:45:26,986 What do you expect? An active Iife is good for one, 1102 01:45:28,155 --> 01:45:30,419 But don't think I've turned into an ignoramus, 1103 01:45:31,024 --> 01:45:33,993 I read voraciousIy, I've never read so much, 1104 01:45:35,128 --> 01:45:37,323 I've got some notes here, I'II show you, 1105 01:45:38,699 --> 01:45:42,226 I hope you'II stay for dinner, We can have a nice chat, 1106 01:45:45,205 --> 01:45:46,832 What's the matter? 1107 01:46:05,525 --> 01:46:07,049 Here, drink this, 1108 01:46:12,599 --> 01:46:15,932 What do you expect? We've got rotten bIood in our veins, 1109 01:46:17,704 --> 01:46:21,868 A doctor toId me once, ''InteIIectuaIs, undernourished since chiIdhood!'' 1110 01:46:23,343 --> 01:46:26,073 ExpIains a Iot, don't you think? 1111 01:46:28,215 --> 01:46:30,547 Don't think I'm just making excuses for myseIf, 1112 01:46:31,585 --> 01:46:33,576 I beIieve in utter honesty, 1113 01:46:34,121 --> 01:46:36,282 with others and with myseIf, 1114 01:46:40,160 --> 01:46:43,186 When I Ieft the sanatorium, I wanted to test myseIf, 1115 01:46:43,897 --> 01:46:45,865 I Iooked for a job, 1116 01:46:46,533 --> 01:46:49,661 It was a question of wiIIpower and guts, Guts, mostIy, 1117 01:46:50,337 --> 01:46:52,771 Mind you, I'm not teIIing anyone to foIIow me, 1118 01:46:52,973 --> 01:46:54,634 There are bad times, 1119 01:46:54,975 --> 01:46:58,172 And if it hadn't been for a feeIing of responsibiIity 1120 01:46:58,378 --> 01:47:01,905 towards someone who sacrificed her Iife for me - 1121 01:47:04,484 --> 01:47:07,112 WeII, we can taIk about that quite objectiveIy, 1122 01:47:08,388 --> 01:47:11,016 She counts for nothing in my inteIIectuaI Iife, 1123 01:47:12,959 --> 01:47:16,122 And don't think it was a boIt from the bIue, a bewiIderment! 1124 01:47:18,665 --> 01:47:20,292 You're surprised? 1125 01:47:24,671 --> 01:47:26,332 But in your pIace, 1126 01:47:26,606 --> 01:47:29,302 if I'd broken my ordination promises, 1127 01:47:30,610 --> 01:47:33,272 I'd rather it had been for Iove of a woman, 1128 01:47:34,514 --> 01:47:39,281 than for what you caII your inteIIectuaI Iife, 1129 01:47:39,619 --> 01:47:41,246 I don't agree, 1130 01:47:42,322 --> 01:47:45,348 You don't know what you're taIking about, 1131 01:47:45,692 --> 01:47:47,751 My inteIIectuaI Iife - 1132 01:47:50,764 --> 01:47:52,254 What's the matter? 1133 01:47:55,502 --> 01:47:56,901 Answer! 1134 01:48:07,547 --> 01:48:09,310 I don't want to die here! 1135 01:48:10,183 --> 01:48:12,447 Get me out of here, anywhere! 1136 01:48:13,620 --> 01:48:15,315 What can I do? 1137 01:48:15,422 --> 01:48:17,413 I can't carry him by myseIf, 1138 01:48:17,624 --> 01:48:19,990 and we can't ask the concierge for anything, 1139 01:48:41,047 --> 01:48:42,844 Don't move, Father, 1140 01:48:43,650 --> 01:48:45,277 It wiII pass, 1141 01:48:57,464 --> 01:49:01,127 Mr, Dufrety panicked a bit and ran off to the pharmacy, 1142 01:49:07,073 --> 01:49:09,769 I'm afraid you must think poorIy of me, 1143 01:49:10,310 --> 01:49:13,336 The room isn't tidied up and everything's dirty, 1144 01:49:15,448 --> 01:49:18,849 You see, I Ieave to work at 5:00 in the morning, 1145 01:49:20,053 --> 01:49:22,021 and I just don't have the strength anymore, 1146 01:49:27,627 --> 01:49:29,219 What is your work? 1147 01:49:30,030 --> 01:49:32,021 I'm a cIeaning Iady, 1148 01:49:32,933 --> 01:49:37,267 The most tiring part is rushing from one pIace to another, 1149 01:49:40,974 --> 01:49:43,841 But what about his business? 1150 01:49:45,512 --> 01:49:47,980 They say there's money in it, 1151 01:49:49,082 --> 01:49:53,678 but he had to borrow for the office and the typewriter, 1152 01:49:54,721 --> 01:49:57,417 Besides, he can't get around much, 1153 01:50:01,962 --> 01:50:03,361 Are you married? 1154 01:50:03,563 --> 01:50:05,087 No, 1155 01:50:06,566 --> 01:50:08,500 I was the one against it, 1156 01:50:11,871 --> 01:50:13,270 Why? 1157 01:50:14,741 --> 01:50:17,073 Because of what he is, don't you see? 1158 01:50:18,178 --> 01:50:21,272 I aIways hoped he'd get weII at the sanatorium, 1159 01:50:22,682 --> 01:50:25,617 And then, if he ever wanted to make a fresh start, 1160 01:50:27,120 --> 01:50:29,782 I wouIdn't be in the way, I toId myseIf, 1161 01:50:35,261 --> 01:50:37,422 And what did he think of that? 1162 01:50:38,164 --> 01:50:39,825 Nothing, 1163 01:50:41,434 --> 01:50:43,527 He thought I didn't want to, 1164 01:50:45,271 --> 01:50:47,603 Why do you ask? 1165 01:50:52,212 --> 01:50:53,839 Out of friendship, 1166 01:51:03,256 --> 01:51:06,054 The pharmacist was right, He just Iaughed at me, 1167 01:51:06,726 --> 01:51:09,160 It's true: The smaIIest fainting speII terrifies me, 1168 01:51:18,271 --> 01:51:19,829 Listen, 1169 01:51:20,840 --> 01:51:22,705 I must taIk to you, 1170 01:51:24,644 --> 01:51:26,271 There's IittIe time, 1171 01:51:26,513 --> 01:51:29,676 TaIk to me about what? About whom? 1172 01:51:34,988 --> 01:51:36,649 You, 1173 01:51:40,927 --> 01:51:44,931 ''He's agreed to meet with the priest in Torcy, 1174 01:51:44,931 --> 01:51:49,265 My oId master-'' 1175 01:53:57,831 --> 01:54:01,767 Around 4,'00, unabIe to sIeep, / went to his room 1176 01:54:01,868 --> 01:54:05,326 and found my poor coIIeague unconscious on the floor, 1177 01:54:05,972 --> 01:54:08,065 We carried him back to bed, 1178 01:54:08,274 --> 01:54:10,970 whereupon he vomited up streams ofbIood, 1179 01:54:11,711 --> 01:54:13,804 But the hemorrhaging ended, 1180 01:54:14,013 --> 01:54:18,109 WhiIe we waited for the doctor, our poor friend regained consciousness, 1181 01:54:18,384 --> 01:54:20,284 but he didn't speak, 1182 01:54:20,486 --> 01:54:23,546 Heavy beads of sweat covered his brow and cheeks, 1183 01:54:23,990 --> 01:54:27,153 and his expression toId of great anguish, 1184 01:54:27,961 --> 01:54:30,521 His puIse was rapidIy growing weak, 1185 01:54:30,630 --> 01:54:34,396 He motioned that he wanted his rosary, 1186 01:54:34,500 --> 01:54:36,331 which / found in his pants'pocket, 1187 01:54:36,436 --> 01:54:38,961 From then on, he heId it pressed against his chest, 1188 01:54:39,606 --> 01:54:41,403 He seemed to recover some strength 1189 01:54:41,608 --> 01:54:45,100 and in an aImost inaudibIe voice asked for absoIution, 1190 01:54:45,311 --> 01:54:49,042 His face grew caIm, He even smiIed, 1191 01:54:49,782 --> 01:54:52,444 Though neither humanity nor friendship wouId permit me to refuse, 1192 01:54:52,652 --> 01:54:56,850 whiIe discharging my duties, / expIained to my unfortunate comrade 1193 01:54:57,056 --> 01:54:59,820 my hesitation at granting his request, 1194 01:55:00,827 --> 01:55:03,227 He didn't seem to hear me, 1195 01:55:03,496 --> 01:55:07,296 But a few moments Iater, he Iaid his hands on mine 1196 01:55:07,700 --> 01:55:12,330 whiIe his eyes entreated me to draw cIoser to him, 1197 01:55:13,273 --> 01:55:15,468 He then said, very distinctIy, 1198 01:55:16,009 --> 01:55:18,239 if extremeIy sIowIy, 1199 01:55:18,444 --> 01:55:22,141 these exact words,' 1200 01:55:22,715 --> 01:55:25,946 ''What does it matter? AII is grace, '' 1201 01:55:27,153 --> 01:55:28,745 / beIieve he diedjust then, 101921

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