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1
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J' Big band version of Greensleeves
2
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J' Solemn drum roll
3
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J' Trumpet fanfare
4
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Oh, come on. What's keeping her?
5
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You know the Queen, sire.
Never on time for anything.
6
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Well, this is the last time she'll keep me waiting!
7
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Yes, indeed, sire.
Unless she's late for her own funeral. Ha, ha!
8
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(Gurgling)
9
00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:04,120
Oh, blimey, what a time
to have one of her throats!
10
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:07,955
- She always was a weakly woman, sire.
- You're telling me. Once weekly.
11
00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:11,476
Every time I felt like it, it was,
"Not tonight, dear. I've got a headache."
12
00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:14,279
No wonder Your Majesty did not
consummate the marriage.
13
00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:15,634
Yeah, marvellous, innit?
14
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:19,395
After six months of married life,
the only thing I'm having off is her head.
15
00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:20,993
J' Trumpet fanfare
16
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,557
Nice day for it, Your Majesty.
17
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Hardly any wind.
18
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,433
- Good crowd, too.
- Thank you, my Lord Cardinal.
19
00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:32,831
But I feel we can dispense with the commentary.
20
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:34,877
J' Drum roll
21
00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:49,197
I can manage, thank you, Cardinal.
22
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:52,033
I don't want you to trip and hurt yourself, ma'am.
23
00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,077
J' Drum roll
24
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,957
Come on, then.
25
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,679
Do you, Henry, take this woman to...
26
00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:26,196
I do, and so does she.
Right, love, that's it. Through there.
27
00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:32,509
Her figure's all right. What about her face?
28
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:35,831
Oh, I am assured, sire,
it is the fairest in all Normandy.
29
00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:40,153
- What about her...
- Fullest in all Normandy.
30
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,675
- Has she been chaste?
- All over Normandy.
31
00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:44,717
But I am assured never caught.
32
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:46,871
- Call me at eight o'clock.
- Very well.
33
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,439
Next Thursday.
34
00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:55,398
Marie, Queen of England.
35
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,232
Oh, hello.
36
00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,516
Oh! Who are you?
37
00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:04,115
Permit me to introduce myself, madam.
38
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,157
Sir Roger de Lodgerley.
39
00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:08,197
Oh, how do you do?
40
00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:12,638
The King's personal equerry, madam,
and already your most devoted admirer.
41
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:13,710
How nice.
42
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:16,633
May l? Thank you.
43
00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:19,597
Other one.
44
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:22,513
Splendid. And one more for luck. Ha, ha!
45
00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:27,276
Splendid, splendid. But ifl might suggest,
just a little more...
46
00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:31,637
Ooh... Perfect, perfect.
47
00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:35,350
- I can be a one when I want.
- Yes, I thought you might be one.
48
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:39,229
Now, madam, as regards your actual duties...
49
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:42,517
Sir Roger, you seem to forget
I was brought up at the French court.
50
00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:44,671
In fact, I had an excellent position there.
51
00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:48,879
Oh, I know! And I hear
the French position is very good. Ha, ha!
52
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:54,475
Still here, I see, Sir Roger?
53
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,791
I was instructing Her Majesty in procedure,
Your Grace.
54
00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,632
Thank you very much, Sir Roger.
55
00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:02,951
I trust everything is to your satisfaction,
Your Grace?
56
00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,634
- L'll let you know later.
- You won't want that, will you?
57
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:06,755
- What?
- That.
58
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,911
- Eh? Oh, no, course not.
- Oh, thank you.
59
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,152
I suppose you're anxious to bed your queen.
60
00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:14,595
- Naturally.
- Well, if you should want anything,
61
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:18,196
- l'm only next door.
- l don't think we'll trouble you further tonight.
62
00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:20,920
Hm, hm, hm! Ha, ha, ha!
63
00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:25,317
And how's my beautiful queen, then?
64
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:27,596
Well and eager to please, my lord.
65
00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:29,637
Good.
66
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:32,473
- Here we go, then.
- Oh, just one moment, my lord.
67
00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:34,517
There is something I must do first.
68
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:38,070
Eh? Oh, yes, right.
Well, l'll just go and wash my hands, then.
69
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:49,237
(Trickling)
70
00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:06,870
- Well, all done, then?
- Yes, my lord.
71
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:09,634
I have waited for this moment for so long.
72
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:15,476
- Cor blimey!
- Why, what is it? What ails my lord?
73
00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:18,313
- That smell! What have you been eating?
- Smell?
74
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,357
It is merely garlic.
75
00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:23,751
- Garlic?
- Yes, it is an old custom in Normandy.
76
00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:28,357
L adore it! And taken regularly,
no germs will come near one.
77
00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:30,397
- I don't blame 'em!
- Not only that,
78
00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:33,552
it is said to greatly increase
one's sexual appetite.
79
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:37,395
I've got news for you. Come the morning,
you're going to be starving.
80
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,039
What means my lord?
81
00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:43,353
Nothing. Just don't bother to make
any more hairdressing appointments. Roger!
82
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:44,396
Sir Roger!
83
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:46,710
Sir Roger, where are you?
84
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:49,360
Come, come, my Lord Cardinal.
85
00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:52,080
A glass of wine to celebrate.
86
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:55,597
You rang, m'lord?
87
00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:57,751
Ah, yes, Mistress Scrub.
88
00:06:57,840 --> 00:06:59,990
Wine for myself and my Lord Cardinal.
89
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:02,037
Oh, yes, m'lord.
90
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,952
- Will that be all, m'lord?
- Forthe nonce.
91
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,793
Oh! Ooh, Your Eminence!
92
00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:26,592
Come, let us drink to the King's marriage
and an early issue.
93
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,752
- You will not drink?
- After you, my lord.
94
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:34,516
My dear Cardinal, you surely don't suspect
that I, yourfriend,
95
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,796
would have poisoned your wine?
96
00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:39,679
Men in our position have enemies everywhere.
97
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,673
- One cannot be too careful.
- There.
98
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:44,717
Satisfied?
99
00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:49,677
To issue.
100
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,876
- Issue.
- All fall down!
101
00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:53,553
Oh, my God!
102
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,519
Cromwell, Wolsey!
Where are you, you blackguards?
103
00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,558
Oh, ho! Methinks the issue is already in doubt.
104
00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,030
I'll have your bleedin' heads forthis.
105
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:07,192
Why, sire? What is wrong?
ls not this mating successful?
106
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,920
Successful?
As far as the Queen is concerned, I've had it.
107
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,514
Oh, well, it's all right, then.
108
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,035
Will you shut up and listen? She has got to go.
109
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,997
Go? But why?
110
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:21,039
Why? Because it turns out that Her most
gracious Majesty, Marie, Queen of England,
111
00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:24,158
wife ofthe Defender ofthe Faith,
is also a basher ofthe garlic.
112
00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:25,913
Garlic? What is garlic?
113
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:30,597
A small bulb-bearing plant ofthe onion family,
used extensively by the French.
114
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:32,637
I don't give a damn what it is!
115
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,439
All I know is I had one pong of it
and my ambition wilted.
116
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:37,955
But this need not be a serious problem, sire.
117
00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:41,954
I'm sure ifthe Cardinal here
were to have a word with Her Majesty.
118
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:44,156
Oh, yes, of course. l'll go immediately.
119
00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:48,438
L am confident he will be able to persuade her
to give up this odious habit, sire.
120
00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:51,160
Probably. But l doubt l'll everfancy it again.
121
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:52,958
Enter, my lord.
122
00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:58,877
Pardon this intrusion, madam,
123
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:01,952
but I come on a matter of some urgency.
124
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:04,793
Not at all, my lord.
We are pleased to receive you.
125
00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:06,279
(Coughs) Phew!
126
00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:09,113
It was all going marvellously.
127
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,874
There she was, lying in bed waiting for it.
128
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:16,636
I said to myself, "At last, this is it, Harry boy."
I'm just about to grab her...and boof!
129
00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:19,234
- Right in the kisser.
- Ooh!
130
00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:21,277
But don't upset yourself, sire.
131
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,590
Pray be seated. Have a goblet of wine.
132
00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:26,149
I tell you, it will make your spirits rise.
133
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:29,676
I need more than wine
to make anything rise now, I can tell you.
134
00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:32,718
Nonsense, sire. Come! Drink!
135
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:35,599
And it is rather a special one.
136
00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:40,717
- What did she say?
- No.
137
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,757
- No!
- She refuses to give it up.
138
00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:45,036
Refuses? That settles it. Get her annulled.
139
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:49,193
- An old what, sire?
- Annul the marriage, you fool!
140
00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:52,352
Oh, I'm afraid that would be
out ofthe question, Your Majesty.
141
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:55,273
- The Pope would be livid.
- What's it got to do with him?
142
00:09:55,360 --> 00:10:00,594
When this match was announced, he declared
it would be very bad for a man to have six wives.
143
00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:03,240
How would he know? He's never tried it.
144
00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:06,278
Ifl may be permitted to make a suggestion,
Your Grace?
145
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,715
This is no time to get suggestive,
Sir Roger.
146
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,679
I was merely going to say,
if she refuses to give it up,
147
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:15,196
you could take preventative measures
against the unpleasant odour.
148
00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:19,831
Are you suggesting that I, the greatest monarch
that England has ever known,
149
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:22,275
should stoop to stuffing cotton wool
up my hooter?
150
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,317
Nothing so drastic, sire.
151
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,153
But I happen to know
that if one also eats the garlic,
152
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:29,231
the smell is unnoticeable.
153
00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:31,596
Do you mean me give in to her?
154
00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:34,194
Never! Never! Not on your nelly.
155
00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:37,272
No. I've made up my mind. Annul the marriage.
156
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:41,274
But the only way a marriage can be annulled
is ifthey haven't, you know...
157
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:42,998
Yes, yes, come on, spit it out.
158
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:45,356
To put it bluntly, sire,
159
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:49,157
did you consume it?
160
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:51,197
Did I what?
161
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:53,237
Consume it.
162
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,199
Has the marriage been consumed?
163
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:59,272
I fancy he means consummated, sire.
164
00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:02,159
The verb "consume" means to eat.
165
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:05,312
That's all you know. In my dictionary,
it's to eat or to have a nibble.
166
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:09,155
- Not that kind of nibble, you great fat ape!
- You steamin' great...
167
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,914
Shut up, the two of you! The answer is no.
168
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,560
I have neither eaten, consumed or had a nibble.
169
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:18,270
So just you make absolutely sure
you get rid of her by the time I get back.
170
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:21,591
But wait, wait.
Your Majesty's going somewhere?
171
00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:24,035
- Yes, hunting.
- Oh, nice. What for?
172
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:26,475
Something to eat. I'm starving. Ha, ha!
173
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:31,797
This is terrible, terrible.
174
00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:34,520
I cannot risk disfavour with the Vatican again.
175
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:37,672
Nor I with France.
Marie is their king's favourite cousin.
176
00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:40,718
It would seem we must unite, my lord,
to keep this marriage alive.
177
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,394
- Of course, but how?
- By procrastination.
178
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:46,996
What? lf he has that,
he'll never be able to have an issue.
179
00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:51,517
Oh, dear! You really must get
another dictionary, Cardinal.
180
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:53,557
(Hunting horn and hounds barking)
181
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:18,437
(Knock on door)
182
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:22,229
It's only me.
183
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:25,278
Oh, I thought it might be the King.
184
00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:28,318
Alas, madam, he's been called out
on state business.
185
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,437
I just popped in to see ifthere was...
186
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:32,511
anything you wanted.
187
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,557
Oh, yes, there is, Sir Roger.
188
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,837
But I doubt if you could supply it.
189
00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:39,638
Oh, no!
190
00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:41,074
Oh!
191
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,197
What a delightful odour.
192
00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:46,311
Can it be...garlic?
193
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:49,870
Why, yes! Do you like it, then, Sir Roger?
194
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:51,837
Everyone should have it.
195
00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:53,638
Oh, well.
196
00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:55,677
Here, help yourself.
197
00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:57,717
Thank you.
198
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:04,440
Ah, that's better. Ha, ha!
199
00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:06,989
So now to work.
200
00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:09,993
- Why, Sir Roger, what are you about?
- I'm undressing, madam.
201
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,640
- But to what end?
- Didn't you know?
202
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:16,998
As the King's taster,
I have to try everything before he does.
203
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,040
J' Hunting horns
204
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:15,751
- We have found well today, Your Majesty.
- Stop calling me Your Majesty.
205
00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:17,797
At this sport, I'm always incognito.
206
00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:22,317
- Of course. Will we wait for you, sire?
- No, l'll find my own way back. lt may take time.
207
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:25,870
- Oh! Good hunting, sire.
- Thank you. I'll save the brush for you.
208
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:27,917
Walk on.
209
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,917
(Gasps for breath)
210
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:41,990
Ha, ha, ha!
211
00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:54,037
Well, well, well, my pretty.
212
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:55,872
Ha-ha, ha-ha!
213
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:59,032
- Don'! be frightened.
- Who are you? And what do you want?
214
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:02,272
- Just a hunter looking for some spon.
- You look like a gentleman.
215
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,317
Don't let the clothes fool you. Come here.
216
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,357
Come here, come here.
217
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:09,637
Hey, not so fast there!
I don't even know your name.
218
00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:11,677
Call me Henry.
219
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:15,116
Henry, eh?
Same as that miserable sot who rules us.
220
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:18,158
- Miserable what?
- Sot.
221
00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,390
Oh, sot. Oh, he's quite a nice fellow, really.
222
00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,994
Oh? You want to hear my dad go on about him.
223
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:25,356
The way he keeps screwing us on taxes.
224
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:28,558
Whatever else he does,
I can assure you it's not screwing.
225
00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:30,711
My dad says hanging's too good for him.
226
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:33,076
He'd like to see him fry in his own fat.
227
00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:37,199
Really? l must meet your dad sometime.
l'd like to swap recipes with him.
228
00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:41,035
My dad says him and Earl Cromwell
are a right pretty pair.
229
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:44,795
- Not half as pretty as the one I'm looking at.
- Oh, no, you don't!
230
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,235
We're not in the hay
just to look for needles, are we?
231
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:50,711
That's all very well. But what am l going to get?
232
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,997
What are you going to get?
What do you normally get?
233
00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:58,517
You know what I mean. People are prepared
to pay handsomely for my favours.
234
00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:00,671
Oh, blimey.
235
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,718
Here, I've only got a two shilling piece.
236
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:07,156
Oh! I haven't got any change.
237
00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:09,197
Don't worry, darling.
238
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:11,237
You can owe it to me.
239
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:14,793
Oh! Ooh!
240
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:16,837
Ha, ha, ha!
241
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,157
Ooh, aren'! your hands rough?
242
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:24,232
Eh? Oh, hang on, I'll take off my gauntlets.
243
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:27,676
- Oooh!
- Is that better?
244
00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:31,549
- Cor, you don't waste much time, do you?
- No, blimey, why should l?
245
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:33,597
How many petticoats have you got?
246
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:35,990
Blimey, it's like peeling an artichoke.
247
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,037
Ha, ha, ha!
248
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,717
So that's the way of it?
249
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,110
You varmint! I'll kill you!
250
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:52,271
- Hang on, just a minute.
- It's my dad!
251
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:53,919
Is it? Blimey!
252
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,675
Before you do anything you'll regret,
let me tell you who you're talking to.
253
00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:00,115
I happen to be... Your dad, did you say?
254
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,919
- Yes.
- Go on, you are what?
255
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,719
I'm off. Give me my money back!
256
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:11,353
(Pigs oinking)
257
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:13,511
Oh, blimey. In it again!
258
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:21,757
You may be seated.
259
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:28,836
Are Their Majesties not coming to dinner?
260
00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:32,197
I doubt it. The King is still away hunting
261
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:37,434
and the Queen has vowed to remain in her room
until she's no longer a virgin.
262
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:40,831
Poor dear woman! Perhaps I could do
something to get her down.
263
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:43,719
By way of verbal persuasion, I mean.
264
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,952
Any kind of persuasion from you
would get anybody down.
265
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:50,112
No, let her stay there and stew in her own juice.
266
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:53,238
Her most gracious Majesty, Queen Marie!
267
00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,231
Good Lord!
268
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:56,754
J' Trumpet fanfare
269
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:06,357
- Good evening, my Lord Chancellor.
- Your Majesty, this is an unexpected surprise.
270
00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:09,512
We've not had the pleasure of your company
for a meal as yet.
271
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:13,798
No, I've been having it in my room
with Sir Roger. He persuaded me to come down.
272
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:18,556
Oh, well, Your Majesty,
all l can say is your loss is our gain.
273
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,790
Thank you. The King is not home yet?
274
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:23,394
Still away, ma'am, on urgent business.
275
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:25,790
State affairs, you understand?
276
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:30,397
Excellent. Then, Sir Roger, it is my wish
that you be seated here beside me.
277
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:33,313
0U? La, madam? No, that is the King's place.
278
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:37,359
Marry, Sir Roger, you did not show
the same reluctance to take his place earlier.
279
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:42,230
Her Majesty jests, of course.
280
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:46,075
- With your permission, I will take my usual seat.
- Oh, do as I say and shut up!
281
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,993
Pray be seated, ladies and gentlemen.
282
00:18:58,160 --> 00:18:59,389
Mmm!
283
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:00,879
Quite nice.
284
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:02,758
A drink, ma'am?
285
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:06,959
- Thank you.
- I can heartily recommend the porter here.
286
00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:10,317
Really? Then do send him up to my room later.
287
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:16,033
- You're not eating?
- With your permission, ma'am.
288
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:26,439
(Murmuring)
289
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:30,998
- (Groans of disgust)
- You do not find it appetising?
290
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:35,199
Oh, yes, madam.
But it has a somewhat unusual flavour.
291
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:36,998
Oh, thafll be the garlic.
292
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:39,549
(Cries of horror)
293
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:42,280
I sent orders to the kitchen
to have it put in everything.
294
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:47,755
I felt it might be a step toward...
convening the King.
295
00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:52,238
His Majesty, the King!
296
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:55,199
Ah, my dear devoted husband has returned.
297
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:04,956
(smfis)
298
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:13,995
She's stunk the whole place out with it!
Haven't you got rid of her yet?
299
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,391
A slight technical hitch, Your Majesty.
l shall explain later.
300
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:19,437
It better be good. Or...!
301
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,272
All right, cany on eating.
302
00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:33,509
I'm starving! What's good, Cromwell?
303
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,353
Oh, I wouldn't recommend anything tonight, sire.
304
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:39,273
I'd just have a cup of tea
and a bun in your room.
305
00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:42,557
Don't be silly. lt looks very tasty.
Especially the roast peacock.
306
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:45,837
Definitely not up to standard, sire.
lt's all cock and no pea.
307
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:47,354
That's exactly howl like it.
308
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:57,193
Sir Roger has tasted it, I suppose?
309
00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:00,511
Oh, yes. As a matter of fact,
he's tried everything.
310
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:01,635
Good.
311
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,152
That does it!
312
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:16,198
- Out! I want her out of here now!
- Do not worry, I am leaving.
313
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:18,237
- Good.
- But to go to my bedchamber,
314
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,391
where, in due course, I expect you to join me.
315
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:23,916
- Me join you? Hah, you'll be lucky!
- lfl am not lucky, my lord,
316
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,958
you may be sure
my cousin King Francis will learn of it.
317
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,156
She threatened me! Get the executioner!
318
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:33,916
L beg you, sire, do nothing nowthat you may
regret later. We can ill afford to fight France.
319
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,640
Are you telling me
they will declare war if l don't bed her?
320
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:38,791
Wars have been fought over less, sire.
321
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:54,595
The thing to do, sire, is to play for time.
322
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,035
Act the pan of a loving husband.
323
00:21:57,120 --> 00:21:59,350
- Impossible!
- You don't have to enjoy it, sire.
324
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:03,479
- Simply go through the motions.
- How can I, without doing anything?
325
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:09,078
Yes, that's true. It would seem the Queen has
got you by the well-known...chandeliers.
326
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:13,154
Exactly. And ifl do bed her, Wolsey won't be
able to get the annulment, will he?
327
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:15,959
Yes, well, that is liable to take time,
Your Majesty.
328
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:18,554
I haven't got time. I need another wife.
329
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:22,838
Yes, well, perhaps in the meantime
you could make some other arrangements?
330
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:24,718
What other arrangements?
331
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:26,837
Like taking a mistress.
332
00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:31,198
I am the King,
with a proud family motto to uphold.
333
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:37,473
- Never spit on your own doorstep.
- But my Lord Cardinal is right, sire.
334
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:39,836
We must step cautiously.
335
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:42,355
Don't tell me.
How do you think we got the motto?
336
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:45,398
No, I mean a hasty divorce
would be disastrous, sire.
337
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:49,110
Besides, there is no immediate hurry
for you to marry again, is there?
338
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:51,157
No, tomorrow will do, I suppose.
339
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:54,471
Tomorrow? Has Your Majesty already got
a new queen in mind?
340
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:56,517
Well, l haven't had time to look around yet.
341
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:59,752
If you could keep the Queen amused for a while.
342
00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:02,480
Just keep her mind off it.
343
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,949
She's a Frenchwoman.
Their minds are never off it.
344
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,429
There must be something else
you could do together.
345
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,477
- I have it.
- Yes, what?
346
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:13,918
There's that new game that's all the rage
in the court. What do they call it now?
347
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,674
Ah, yes. Tiddlywinks.
348
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:18,956
Tiddlywinks?
349
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:20,713
It was just an idea.
350
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,154
Well, it was a lousy one.
351
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:26,393
Cannot you understand that I want something
to keep me away from her until the annulment?
352
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:29,632
Aha! That gives me an idea, sire.
353
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:35,716
There is one sure way by which she would never
suspect that you were trying to avoid...you know.
354
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:39,430
- Yes, yes, yes. What?
- Suppose there were to be a plot against you.
355
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:44,151
Suppose you were to be abducted
from her bedchamber before her very eyes.
356
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:48,950
That's it! But who do we get to do the abducting?
It has to be somebody discreet and trustworthy.
357
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:53,318
I have the very man in mind, sire.
One of Your Majesty's most loyal supporters.
358
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,357
Lord Hampton of Wick.
359
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:57,397
That's it! Go to it, Cromwell.
360
00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:00,916
Aye, sire. But you must go
to the Queen's bedchamber - now.
361
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,560
Yes. Yes, I suppose I must.
362
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:06,557
Ah, well.
363
00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:13,077
The things I do for England!
364
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:16,392
Right, gentlemen.
365
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:20,110
We are agreed that for the good of England,
Henry must go.
366
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:22,157
But how?
367
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,477
How is it to be accomplished?
368
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:28,279
I've had one idea, Lord Hampton.
369
00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:31,432
You see, I have these barrels of gunpowder.
370
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:35,798
Ifwe could smuggle them into Parliament
when he opens the next session
371
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:37,837
and blow the lot up...
372
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:41,550
An excellent notion, Fawkes,
but you overlook one small detail.
373
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:44,632
We all sit in Parliament.
374
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:46,836
(Knock on door)
- Who is that?
375
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:48,240
I, Thomas Cromwell.
376
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,277
(Whispers) Cromwell. Quickly.
377
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:01,473
My Lord Chancellor. This is indeed an honour.
378
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:04,120
Yes. Having a meeting, Hampton?
379
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:08,512
Just the usual Friday night sewing circle,
my lord.
380
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:19,517
Hmm, interesting.
381
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:21,557
You like the designs?
382
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:25,110
Yes, but not as much as those
that you have on the King's life.
383
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:28,318
What? My lord, I know not what you talk about.
384
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:32,359
Really? Then you won't be interested to learn
the King has expressed a wish
385
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:34,590
to be forcibly abducted tonight.
386
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:39,879
- He's what?
- Purely to suit his own ends, of course.
387
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:42,713
I thought you might like the job.
388
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:46,475
Well, of course, l would be honoured.
But what about the palace guards?
389
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,517
He has already removed them.
390
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,638
I see. And after he has been abducted?
391
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:54,951
Well, that's up to you, of course.
Accidents will happen.
392
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:59,192
HENRY: No, no, no. You're not doing it properly.
393
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:01,237
QUEEN: Iknow howto do it.
394
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:03,755
Well, look, like this. Look. See?
395
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,070
Now you have a go. Into that bowl.
396
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:11,070
Are you sure this is really
an old English pre-mating ritual?
397
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:13,117
Of course it is. It's traditional.
398
00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:15,919
Before you can mate properly,
you have to get one in.
399
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:17,957
I thought everybody knew that.
400
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:19,633
Oh, very well, then.
401
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:24,672
- Ah! I've done it.
- You cheated.
402
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:27,513
I didn't. You saw.
403
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:29,796
So you can come to bed with me now,
can't you?
404
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:32,759
- Er, no, you have to tiddle first.
- I have tiddled.
405
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:34,990
No, no, no, that was winking.
406
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:39,233
Look, when we began,
you told me I had to tiddle into the pot.
407
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:42,517
You have to wink in and tiddle out.
408
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:44,079
Oh, all right, then.
409
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:48,752
- There! Satisfied?
- Very good, very good indeed.
410
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:52,549
Well, that's one game to you. We start again.
First one to get 2O in.
411
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:56,474
- 20? We'll be at it all night!
- Not ifl can help it.
412
00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:59,757
- Well, I've had enough!
- What did you do that for?
413
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:01,797
You can't fool me, Henry Tudor.
414
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,440
You are trying to avoid getting into bed with me.
415
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:07,876
How could you possibly get an idea like that?
416
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,713
I'm just putting it off, that's all.
417
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:14,111
- The great moment, I mean.
- Oh, well...
418
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:17,830
While you are putting it off,
I will just write a note
419
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:20,992
to my cousin Francis, the King of France.
420
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:25,200
Yes, well, perhaps we have waited long enough.
421
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,956
- We won't be needing that, will we?
- Where are you going now?
422
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:40,838
Empty the pan.
423
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:42,991
Leave it to the servants.
424
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,037
Yes, all right, then.
425
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:00,757
Well, here we are, then.
426
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:04,277
What shall we do now?
427
00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:06,715
- What shall we do?
- Yes. Any ideas?
428
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:08,871
What do you do with all your other wives in bed?
429
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:10,917
Ah, let me think. Now, then...
430
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,913
With old Jane,
we used to play noughts and crosses.
431
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:15,877
Noughts and crosses?
432
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:18,520
Yes, I kept giving her nought and she got cross.
433
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:21,069
That reminds me.
Have I told you about my other wives?
434
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:24,471
Ah, yes, I can't wait to hear about them.
435
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:31,237
You see? All guards removed.
436
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:35,473
I'll leave you now. But remember,
I know nothing of tonight's venture.
437
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:38,678
One moment, my lord.
I would also like your word
438
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:43,357
that if anything goes wrong,
you will not divulge our real intent.
439
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:45,397
You have my hand on it.
440
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:48,313
And may good fortune attend on you.
441
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:54,955
Henry Tudor, I do not wish to hear
about your past wives.
442
00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:58,192
Come now, you're only saying that
to make me feel better.
443
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:02,751
But it wouldn't be right to start our married life
without you knowing about the others.
444
00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:05,992
- Now, where was l?
- Numbertwo.
445
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:17,790
- Now, let's see. That brings us to numberfour.
- That's enough!
446
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:20,952
Henry, are you going to behave
like a proper husband to me or not?
447
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:25,034
- Yes, of course, dear...
- Well, then, you can save all that till later.
448
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:27,077
Sire!
449
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:30,676
I call upon you to surrender without a struggle.
450
00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:33,400
That's what I've been trying
to get him to do all night!
451
00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:36,836
What treason is this? It's a plot against me.
I'm about to be abducted.
452
00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:39,912
- How do you know?
- It's obvious. They didn't come to watch.
453
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,037
We mean you no harm, ma'am.
454
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:44,077
All we want is the King's person.
455
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:46,959
There you are. What did I tell you?
456
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:51,239
Oh, Hampton, Hampton. Put that thing away.
457
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:54,551
How could you do this?
To tear me from the arms of my beloved
458
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:57,393
at the very moment
we're about to consummate our union!
459
00:29:57,480 --> 00:29:59,039
Oh, well, er...
460
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:01,912
...we could come back later, of course.
461
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,913
Don't be stupid.
No, no, if it must be thus, thus be it.
462
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:06,673
May I know what is to become of me?
463
00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:09,434
You will be taken to a secret place
and held prisoner.
464
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:12,797
Oh, how terrible!
Will I never see my dear wife again?
465
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:14,837
Go on, you're doing very well.
466
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:18,629
There you will be required to sign
a confession of your wrongdoings.
467
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:21,439
Alas, I cannot help that.
I was born with the wrong doings.
468
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:23,875
That done, then you will be done -
469
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:26,600
to death,
as painfully as you have done others.
470
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:28,717
- All right, don't overdo it.
- Seize him!
471
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:31,360
Not too rough... Ah, so this is the end!
472
00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:34,637
Farewell, dear wife.
'Twould seem we are fated never to be one.
473
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:36,916
You're going to let them take you
without a fight?
474
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,560
- Alas, l can do nothing else.
- Well, l can!
475
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:43,757
No, no!
476
00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:57,517
And don't come back!
477
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:09,477
They've gone. You can...
478
00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:11,517
Henry?
479
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:13,557
Henry...
480
00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:17,317
Hen...
481
00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:19,357
Henry, where are you?
482
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:24,677
Ah, the wretch!
483
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:27,513
Now, what am I going to do
for the rest ofthe night?
484
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:36,718
On my life, Your Majesty,
ifthat isn't the best tunic I ever made,
485
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:38,916
my name isn't Moshe Montmorency.
486
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,594
- Yes, it's not bad.
- Not bad?
487
00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:43,830
Never mind the quality, feel the cloth.
488
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:47,356
- We've had worse. What is it?
- This is the finest goats' hair.
489
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:51,320
- L thought it had a familiar smell.
- Ah, Your Majesty. Look at the fit.
490
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:53,960
The bustline and the waistline, Your Majesty.
491
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:58,671
- Without a lie, the goat it didn't fit as well.
- Yes, it's quite nice up here
492
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:00,910
- but the skin's on the long side.
- Skin? Long?
493
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:05,517
We're proud of our royal legs. We like the ladies
ofthe court to marvel at their length.
494
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:09,719
I make the skirt any higher and they won't be
marvelling at the length ofthe legs.
495
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:12,235
That reminds me.
I need a bit more length on my hose.
496
00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:14,152
Your Majesty is much too modest.
497
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:32,030
His Excellency, the emissary ofthe Vatican,
498
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:35,158
- Conte Filippo di Pisa.
- You are welcome, Conte.
499
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:38,311
Please be seated, Conte.
500
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:43,315
You have come on the matter ofthe application
for an annulment of His Majesty's marriage?
501
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:45,676
- I have, my lord.
- I'd hoped as much.
502
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:48,434
And your master has given permission for it?
503
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:50,477
He has requested me to say
504
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:54,474
that he is most morally shocked
and righteously outraged
505
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:56,278
- by this request.
- Oh, dear.
506
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:59,512
But under certain conditions,
507
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:02,240
he might be prevailed upon
508
00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:06,837
to overlook his deep-seated
and inviolate sense of duty.
509
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:08,797
All right. How much this time?
510
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:11,440
5,000 pieces of gold.
511
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:14,433
5,000!
Come off it, that's double last time!
512
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:16,557
He is doubly shocked this time.
513
00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:20,998
5,000! And how much have you added on
for your own pocket, my dear Conte?
514
00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:24,038
My lord, I must protest most strongly.
515
00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:30,196
I'm sorry, Conte. But as a churchmen, I cannot
tolerate the thought of corruption in high office.
516
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:33,989
5,000 is the figure. Take it or leave it.
517
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:37,118
Very well.
l shall go and consult with the Chancellor.
518
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:43,757
Well, Wolsey, the word is good?
519
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:47,071
I think, if it's left to me,
I can arrange the divorce satisfactorily.
520
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:48,912
- Excellent!
- There's just one thing.
521
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,072
To do so, you'll have to let me have
10,000 pieces of gold.
522
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:53,912
10,000?
523
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:55,957
It was only five last time.
524
00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:58,873
Well, you know how it is. Inflation, rising prices.
525
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:03,955
- Indeed. The ever-rising cost-of-loving index.
- The sooner the better, of course.
526
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:08,273
Just a moment, my dear Cardinal.
Can l be assured this 10,000 is all for Rome?
527
00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:10,317
Are you suggesting that I...
528
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:14,553
How dare you! You know well
that I'm an honourable man.
529
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:17,154
My dearWolsey, I learned long ago
530
00:34:17,240 --> 00:34:22,519
there is only one man in all England
who can be completely trusted and that's me.
531
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:26,559
Well, l protest strongly at the implication
that l would... Oh, never, oh!
532
00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:28,597
Oh, all right, all right.
533
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:32,150
You'll get your 10,000.
l'll go and see the King straightaway.
534
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:38,837
Pardon the intrusion, Your Majesty.
535
00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:42,276
But I thought you would like to know
I have had word from Rome.
536
00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:43,714
The divorce, it's on?
537
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:48,078
I am confident, sire, that left in my hands,
I can get approval.
538
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:52,472
- Marvellous!
- Of course, it will entail a certain expenditure.
539
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:54,551
- How much?
- If you could let me have 20,000?
540
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:58,076
- 20,000!
- Well, rather more than usual, I know.
541
00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:00,231
But little enough if you have it.
542
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,596
That's just the point. I haven't had it!
543
00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:04,671
The money, I mean!
544
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:09,152
I shouldn't have to tell you that,
speaking royally, my mint has a hole in it.
545
00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:11,675
Beautiful, beautiful. Fit for a king.
546
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:14,639
20,000! What love pleasure
could be worth that much?
547
00:35:14,720 --> 00:35:17,439
You should try it walking round the room a bit,
Your Majesty.
548
00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:19,477
- Don't be filthy.
- The coat!
549
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:22,120
Of course we could raise a bit more by taxation.
550
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:25,670
Taxation? Everything's taxed to the hilt as it is.
Even swords.
551
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:28,513
- Swords taxed to the hilt. Very good!
- Oh, shut up!
552
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:31,911
I've been thinking.
There is one thing you haven't touched yet.
553
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:33,274
We're back to the wife again.
554
00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:37,194
No, a brand-new form of taxation
I've just thought up.
555
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:38,998
SET.
556
00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:40,150
SET?
557
00:35:40,240 --> 00:35:43,596
Sex Enjoyment Tax.
558
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:45,830
Sex Enjoyment Tax?
559
00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:48,912
Exactly, Your Majesty. Like drinking or smoking.
560
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,389
Every time they have one...
561
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:55,360
Yes, that could bring in quite a bit.
Might be a bit difficult to apply, though.
562
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:58,751
Oh, I don't think so.
No man wants to be thought lacking.
563
00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:02,754
We give them a form
and they submit some son of weekly return.
564
00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:04,797
Do you think they'd stand for it?
565
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:08,555
Stand for it, sit for it, lie down for it.
As long as we get the money.
566
00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:15,112
Halt, madam.
State your business with my Lord Cromwell.
567
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:17,157
Oh, get out of my way!
568
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:24,559
I trust I am not disturbing you,
my Lord Chancellor?
569
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:26,597
No, no, Your Majesty.
570
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:30,116
I was just checking the weekly yield
on my new Sex Enjoyment Tax.
571
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,157
A satisfactory one, I hope?
572
00:36:32,240 --> 00:36:34,197
Not bad, not bad.
573
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:37,716
The takings are down
since we started the on-the-spot collections.
574
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:41,589
But then this business is bound
to have its ups and downs.
575
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:43,796
Yes, though precious few come my way.
576
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:48,556
My lord, I will come direct to business.
I demand to see the King.
577
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:53,077
I'm afraid that's quite impossible today, ma'am.
He's busy in his privy...council.
578
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:55,231
I will not be put off any longer.
579
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:59,553
Do you realise it is three months
since our marriage and he still hasn't?
580
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:02,109
- Hasn't what?
- Still hasn't.
581
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:05,955
Oh, yes, I quite understand of course.
But you must not be unduly alarmed.
582
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:07,997
These things take time.
583
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:10,959
My lord, I may seem a simple person,
584
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:14,112
but could you, as a man,
keep your bride waiting so long?
585
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,077
I am not married, ma'am.
586
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:19,516
No, but you are a man.
I have been aware of that fact.
587
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:21,557
Please, ma'am!
588
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:25,395
Oh, come, my lord. Do you choose to forget
that day at Hampton Court?
589
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:28,472
- Hampton?
- When you rescued me from the maze.
590
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:32,713
- Oh, when you couldn't find your way out.
- And you couldn't find your way in.
591
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:35,838
Yes, well, l...l hadn't done it before, you see.
592
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:38,389
Just think. We might have been there yet
593
00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:42,360
had you not had the presence of mind
to lay a thread to follow back out.
594
00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:44,397
Yes, good old Fred.
595
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:48,030
Would you not like to try it again, Thomas?
Without Fred?
596
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:51,556
Ma'am, I beg of you, please forget
that afternoon. I got carried away.
597
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:55,873
Thousands of men have been carried away
after only one hourwith me, my lord.
598
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:58,429
- Yes, but not feet first.
- Oh, Thomas.
599
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:02,229
Tom! Take me in your arms and kiss me!
600
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:03,640
No, no, wait, wait!
601
00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:06,280
- Your Majesty, someone might come in.
- I don't care!
602
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:08,317
Oh, Thomas. Tom.
603
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:11,836
You don't know how unsatisfying my life is.
604
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:18,519
I feel like a...a bottle of good wine
that has been left to waste after only one sip.
605
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:21,035
Well, for heaven's sake, put the cork back in!
606
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:23,270
Oh, you are a hard man, Thomas Cromwell.
607
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:25,510
What you're asking of me, ma'am, is wrong.
608
00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:27,557
I am the King's friend. He trusts me.
609
00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:29,916
And I am proud ofthat trust.
610
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:31,229
Ah...
611
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:34,153
But what ifthere were no king?
612
00:38:34,240 --> 00:38:36,197
What do you mean?
613
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:40,831
If some accident were to befall him, what then?
614
00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:44,276
Well, then, as Queen,
obviously you will reign in his stead.
615
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:46,112
Precisely.
616
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:48,396
And you in his bedstead.
617
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:51,950
What? What are you suggesting, ma'am?
618
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:55,396
That I, the King's most loyal
and devoted servant,
619
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:58,040
should actually plot to...should stoop to...
620
00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:00,157
What kind of accident had you in mind?
621
00:39:00,240 --> 00:39:02,197
Ah, no, Thomas.
622
00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:04,237
Before I divulge that,
623
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:08,029
I must first have pledge
of your goodwill in the matter.
624
00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:10,191
Well, what kind of pledge could I give?
625
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:13,910
Just a taste of that good wine I spoke of.
626
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:17,197
Well, l don't usually drink before six o'clock...
627
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,237
(Lustily) Whoar!
628
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:24,115
Cromwell, I've just been thinking that...
629
00:39:25,720 --> 00:39:28,360
What goes on here?
630
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:35,598
Nothing, sire. Nothing. I was conversing with
the Queen when suddenly she came over faint.
631
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:38,433
Her emotions overflowed.
I just corked her in time...
632
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:40,477
I just caught her in time.
633
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:44,190
- Faint? Why should she feel faint?
- Lack of fresh air, perhaps.
634
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:47,159
- True, she hasn't been getting any lately.
- And that, too.
635
00:39:47,240 --> 00:39:50,392
Well, do something.
She's making the place look untidy.
636
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:53,556
Ma'am, ma'am, you can come round now.
637
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:55,756
Ma'am, it's all right now. Ma'am...
638
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:57,797
Good heavens!
639
00:39:57,880 --> 00:40:01,157
- What is it?
- She really has fainted. She's unconscious.
640
00:40:01,240 --> 00:40:03,880
Is she? Well, go on, then,
get the court physician.
641
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:06,270
(Scots accent) Doctor Finlay! Doctor Finlay!
642
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:08,874
Och, something terrible's happened...
643
00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:16,673
The physician has nearly finished, Your Grace.
644
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:20,071
- He's taking his time, isn't he?
- There is rather a lot to examine.
645
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:25,314
Doesn't it make you sick? Just when I'd decided
to cancel the divorce and have her head off.
646
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:29,519
Please, sire, you must not excite yourself.
You know it affects your metabolism.
647
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:34,993
And brings the poison to the surface and then
you break out in these poisonous excrescences.
648
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:37,310
- Boils.
- I know what I'm talking about!
649
00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:39,357
I only said boils.
650
00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:42,159
Oh, boils. Oh, yes.
651
00:40:42,240 --> 00:40:43,594
Well, what's happening?
652
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:47,435
Your Majesty, I'm happy to report
that I have bled Her Majesty.
653
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:51,070
- Bled her? All this time?
- Well, it did take a bit oftime, l know.
654
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:53,834
But one of my leeches is an absolute hog.
655
00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:56,389
I am not interested in your bleedin' leeches!
656
00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:58,596
- What about the Queen?
- No trouble there.
657
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:01,479
It often happens to a woman in her condition.
658
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:06,794
- Condition? What condition?
- Why, Her Majesty's going to have a baby.
659
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:11,759
You hearthat, everyone?
I'm going to have an issue.
660
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:13,194
Congratulations.
661
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:15,237
Congratulations, sire.
662
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:17,311
Congratulations.
663
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:21,951
- Thank you. Do you think it'll be a boy?
- Most assuredly, sire.
664
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:24,270
At last, a son. A son and heir.
665
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:28,069
L knowl speak for all England
when l say well done, sire.
666
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:30,117
We are proud of you.
667
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:32,669
Thank you. Well, l didn't really do anything.
668
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:36,916
That's quite right. I didn't do anything.
669
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:42,073
Are you sure she's going to have a baby?
670
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:46,154
- How did that happen?
- Your Majesty does not know?
671
00:41:46,240 --> 00:41:50,916
- No, l do not know.
- Well, let me see ifl can explain it quite simply.
672
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:53,958
Let's take the birds and the bees.
673
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:58,273
I do not want a sex lecture. I know how.
It's who that's worrying me.
674
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:01,273
Am I to understand Your Majesty has not...?
675
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:03,192
Not as much as a nibble.
676
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:07,399
Ifl may suggest, Your Grace,
no-one outside this room knows that
677
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:10,120
and I know we can be trusted to keep silent.
678
00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:12,157
But she's mucked it all up.
679
00:42:12,240 --> 00:42:15,790
How can I get a divorce now
on the grounds of non-consummation?
680
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:20,829
On the contrary, sire. I think the Queen
has played right into our hands.
681
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:23,673
She's played in someone's hands,
that's for sure.
682
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:26,912
Ifl might have a word
with Your Majesty confidentially?
683
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:31,717
If we can obtain definite proof of unfaithfulness,
684
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:35,077
the divorce will be automatic
and it will not cost you a penny.
685
00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:40,917
- That's right. But where do we get the proof?
- A confession from the man concerned.
686
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:42,957
- Which man?
- Any man.
687
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:47,591
Preferably one who's been most constantly
in the company ofthe Queen.
688
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:51,469
Yes, someone who's had the job
of keeping her amused.
689
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:56,231
Well, Sir Roger,
have you been dallying with the Queen?
690
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:58,197
Certainly not, sire.
691
00:42:58,280 --> 00:43:00,999
- Your hand on it?
- Not even a finger on it.
692
00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:05,358
Come, come, Sir Roger, it will be less painful
for you if you were to confess.
693
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:06,236
Never!
694
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:10,200
In the Tower, we have ways of
forcing a confession, you know.
695
00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:13,671
- You won't get a thing out of me.
- I'll wager those were the very words
696
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:15,478
the Queen used to you.
697
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:18,632
Oh, no, as a matter of fact,
she was ready and waiting...
698
00:43:18,720 --> 00:43:21,030
Ha, ha, ha!
699
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:27,797
My Lord Cardinal,
will you show the Queen to her apartment?
700
00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:31,396
- Gladly. This way, Your Majesty.
- Wait. What is to happen to Sir Roger?
701
00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:33,437
Nothing, if he signs a simple confession.
702
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:37,798
- And if he doesn't?
- He will. We have gadgets like the thumbscrew.
703
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:41,396
Fear not, ma'am.
I can stand any amount of screwing.
704
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:43,118
Well spoken, Sir Roger.
705
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:45,794
I will not confess. And that's flat!
706
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:49,077
Methinks you'll change your mind, Sir Roger,
when it is flat!
707
00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:50,912
Take him directly below.
708
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:53,879
- Thomas Cromwell, you are a cruel man.
- Me? Cruel, ma'am?
709
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:56,395
Why, I'm known as Cromwell the Considerate.
710
00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:57,834
Considerate? You?
711
00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:01,276
What about all those poor martyrs
you had burned at the stake last week?
712
00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:03,317
- What about them?
- Call that considerate?
713
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:08,873
Well, of course. Didn't l go round every one
ofthem and say, "How do you like your stake?"
714
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:10,917
That's right. He did, you know.
715
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:22,316
So, this is to be my home
for the rest of my days?
716
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:24,755
And what, pray, is this place?
717
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:27,593
- The Bloody Tower.
- There's no need to be common.
718
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:29,910
No, no, that's what they call it, my lady.
719
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,276
And this is the best you can provide for...
720
00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:35,318
a Queen of England
and cousin ofthe King of France?
721
00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:38,756
Oh, it's one ofthe pleasantest rooms
in the Tower, my lady.
722
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:41,195
There's a lovely view from the window.
723
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:45,195
On a foggy day-
724
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:48,238
Oh, Wolsey. What is to become of me?
725
00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:52,029
Will l ever look up to see
the clear blue ofthe sky again?
726
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:56,591
Will I ever again feel the blessed warmth
ofthe sun on my tender skin?
727
00:44:56,680 --> 00:44:59,320
L really couldn't say.
The weather report isn't good.
728
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:02,153
Nay, my lord, do not try and spare my feelings.
729
00:45:02,240 --> 00:45:05,995
You know well that as soon as
Henry has his signed confession,
730
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:09,550
it will be my head on the block and phut!
731
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:11,597
No!
732
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:15,230
No, don't speak of it, madam.
Please, I can't bear to think of it.
733
00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:18,836
Your lovely head for that filthy old basket.
734
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:21,480
Nay, my lord,
you must not speak ofthe King thus.
735
00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:24,074
No. Oh, no, no.
736
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:26,800
I meant the basket into which your head will fall.
737
00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:29,349
Oh, that filthy old basket, yes.
738
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:32,990
This might have all been avoided
if only you had renounced the garlic.
739
00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:36,277
Dear Wolsey, you have always loved me,
haven't you?
740
00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:39,716
- Devotedly, ma'am.
- Enough to do me a service?
741
00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:43,634
Oh, certainly. What would you like?
A matins or a quick Vespers?
742
00:45:43,720 --> 00:45:45,677
Not that son of service, my lord.
743
00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:49,151
I would simply have you deliver a letter
for me to the French ambassador.
744
00:45:49,240 --> 00:45:50,958
I wouldn't dare do that.
745
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:54,271
I must appraise him of what has happened.
It is my only hope.
746
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:58,718
They're so strict on security here. Even I'm
searched from top to bottom when I leave.
747
00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:01,474
- Top to bottom?
- Well, almost.
748
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:07,829
There is in fact only one place I could put a letter
where it might avoid detection.
749
00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:11,276
And you could not bring yourself
to do that for me?
750
00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:14,159
Yes! Yes, l will, l will.
751
00:46:14,240 --> 00:46:16,197
Oh, thank you, my lord.
752
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:18,237
Here is the letter.
753
00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:25,877
Ah, my dear Sir Roger.
754
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:29,157
L believe you know what this little toy is called?
755
00:46:29,240 --> 00:46:31,197
- The rack.
- Precisely.
756
00:46:31,280 --> 00:46:35,069
An ingenious invention.
We simply tie you to it, hand and foot,
757
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:39,233
and then each day,
a turn on the wheel at both ends.
758
00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:43,518
Yes, I know.
What criminals call "going for a stretch".
759
00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:46,638
- Exactly. Would you care to try it?
- Have I an alternative?
760
00:46:46,720 --> 00:46:49,678
- Oh, yes. Just sign this.
- Without even reading it?
761
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:52,991
L'll read it to you.
lt's just a simple little confession.
762
00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:56,436
"In as much as I, Roger de Lodgerley,
of Bedside Manor, Wilts,
763
00:46:56,520 --> 00:46:58,796
referred to as the party of the first pan,
764
00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:02,669
did unlawfully, with malice aforethought
and without taking due precaution,
765
00:47:02,760 --> 00:47:06,640
admire, covet, blandish, cosset,
seduce and otherwise get at Marie,
766
00:47:06,720 --> 00:47:10,395
spouse to Henry Tudor,
referred to as the party of the second pan.
767
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:14,678
L do hereby solemnly declare, any witness
thereofl append to my signature below,
768
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:19,311
that the resulting issue, herein after
referred to as the party ofthe third part,
769
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:21,630
is the consequence ofthe joining together
770
00:47:21,720 --> 00:47:25,509
ofthe party ofthe first parfs
and the party ofthe second parfs pans."
771
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:27,750
As you said, very simple.
772
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:30,480
- You'll sign, then?
- Not on your Bonaparte.
773
00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:33,120
Very well, then. Carry on.
774
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:44,990
His Excellency, the French ambassador.
775
00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:48,157
Your Majesty!
776
00:47:48,240 --> 00:47:50,197
My dear Duc de Poncenay.
777
00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:53,033
I trust I do not intrude upon Your Majesty's time?
778
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:57,318
- Not at all. We're happy to receive you.
- A thousand thanks, sire.
779
00:47:57,400 --> 00:48:02,839
- You're welcome. Cup of tea?
- Mais non, sire. I have but lately had elevenses.
780
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:05,116
Excellent. And what brings you to our court?
781
00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:08,158
I am instructed by His Majesty, King Francis,
782
00:48:08,240 --> 00:48:11,995
to offer his most profound congratulations.
783
00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:14,037
Yes? What on?
784
00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:18,239
Why, that your union with his cousin,
Queen Marie, is to be blessed with issue.
785
00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:22,151
And how did he know that?
786
00:48:22,240 --> 00:48:24,959
Good news travels fast, Your Majesty.
787
00:48:25,040 --> 00:48:27,475
This is not exactly good news. l'm not really...
788
00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:32,031
King Francis was so overjoyed
that he proposed, on the occasion ofthe birth,
789
00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:37,115
to give you a personal presentation
of 50,000 gold crowns.
790
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:39,157
I dare say, but the point is...
791
00:48:39,240 --> 00:48:40,674
50,000?
792
00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:42,398
Gold crowns.
793
00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:45,632
- But Your Majesty was going to say something?
- No, no, nothing.
794
00:48:45,720 --> 00:48:49,759
Bon. And now perhaps I may convey
our congratulations to your good Queen?
795
00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:52,798
Yes, well, er, she's not here at the moment.
She's away.
796
00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:58,637
Oh la la. King Francis did so desire an early
confirmation of her good health and happiness.
797
00:48:58,720 --> 00:49:01,997
I tell you what, you join us for dinnertonight.
She'll be back by then.
798
00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:05,594
That will be most delightful, Your Majesty.
799
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:08,240
Your servant, sire.
800
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:09,469
And yours.
801
00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:15,518
Don't just stand there.
Get to the Tower and fetch her.
802
00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:20,396
He's given in, m'lord. He's ready to sign.
803
00:49:20,480 --> 00:49:22,596
At last! Bring him in. Bring him in.
804
00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:36,556
My...My dear Sir Roger, I'm very glad you
decided to give in before things went too far.
805
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:53,237
There we are, my love.
806
00:49:53,320 --> 00:49:58,554
Take it easy. That's it. We don't want anything
to happen to our precious little bundle, do we?
807
00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:07,710
Your Majesty, your cousin King Francis
wishes me to convey to you
808
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:10,076
his most joyous felicitations.
809
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:12,913
What on? Being confined
in the Tower of London?
810
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:14,638
What?
811
00:50:14,720 --> 00:50:17,599
Er, now, dear, don't get excited.
Think ofthe baby.
812
00:50:17,680 --> 00:50:21,230
Pay no attention. They always act
funny when they're in the issue way.
813
00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:25,439
True, but I did not understand. What is this
about being confined in the Tower?
814
00:50:25,520 --> 00:50:29,753
Oh, that's just an old English tradition.
Queens always have their babies there.
815
00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:32,958
True, but I think you meant confined, locked up.
816
00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:36,192
No, no, confined - knocked up. It's very different.
817
00:50:36,280 --> 00:50:38,874
Your quaint English customs.
818
00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:43,716
Yes, they are quaint... Yes, well, let's drink
to the successful delivery of my baby.
819
00:50:43,800 --> 00:50:45,234
Your baby?
820
00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:47,277
- Naturally, who else's?
- You want a list?
821
00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:52,079
If you don't want to go straight back
to the Tower, shut your drawbridge.
822
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:56,791
Then if it is yours, exactly what are you trying
to make poor Sir Roger confess to?
823
00:50:56,880 --> 00:50:59,759
Me? I'm not trying
to make him confess to anything.
824
00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:06,076
Your Majesty, I have it. The signed confession!
825
00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:09,676
- What confession?
- Sir Roger's confession of fatherhood.
826
00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:12,274
He's a liar. I don't want it. Get a retraction.
827
00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:15,113
A retraction? You must be mad!
828
00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:18,318
You know perfectly well that
your confession was a deliberate lie.
829
00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:19,356
What?
830
00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:23,957
All that nonsense about the party ofthe first part.
You never even touched the Queen.
831
00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:26,554
L beg your jolly pardon, but l most certainly did!
832
00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:29,712
Your affairwith her
was a figment of your imagination.
833
00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:33,316
Oh, yes? Did you ever hear ofa figment
that left teeth marks in your neck?
834
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:34,629
I don't wish to know that.
835
00:51:34,720 --> 00:51:36,677
What I want is a signed retraction.
836
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:41,516
A simple statement like
"The Queen and I are just good friends."
837
00:51:41,600 --> 00:51:44,911
Oh, no. I am incapable of doing it.
838
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:47,276
Oh, even better. lmpotency, yes.
839
00:51:47,360 --> 00:51:50,716
No, no, no.
I mean I could never sign such a statement.
840
00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:55,351
My dear Sir Roger, you don't want
to go back on the rack, do you?
841
00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:58,512
- Not particularly.
- Then do I get my retraction or not?
842
00:51:58,600 --> 00:51:59,556
- Not.
- Not?
843
00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:01,313
- Not.
- Not?
844
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:05,189
Why do I always get knotted?
Put him back on the rack.
845
00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:07,237
J' Court music
846
00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:24,200
You're a cunning old bastard.
847
00:52:24,280 --> 00:52:26,237
I made a mistake, my love.
848
00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:30,237
You're the only woman for me.
849
00:52:30,320 --> 00:52:33,790
I just can't wait to take your loveliness
into my arms.
850
00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:37,912
- Every stone of it.
- I'll believe that when it happens.
851
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:41,038
Wait till I get you upstairs.
I'll show you something.
852
00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:45,237
Like you did the last time?
853
00:52:46,640 --> 00:52:48,870
Playing all night with yourtiddlywink?
854
00:52:55,440 --> 00:52:57,397
More music. More, I say!
855
00:52:59,080 --> 00:53:02,630
Pardon, Your Majesty, but I should be
greatly honoured ifl could cut in.
856
00:53:02,720 --> 00:53:04,677
Of course, my dear Duc.
857
00:53:04,760 --> 00:53:07,912
No, no, Your Majesty. I meant with Her Majesty.
858
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:09,957
Oh, yes, help yourself.
859
00:53:11,440 --> 00:53:13,829
Well, everybody to his own taste.
860
00:53:18,640 --> 00:53:23,077
Oh, Your Grace, it is indeed a joy to see
you and the Queen so happily reunited.
861
00:53:23,160 --> 00:53:27,040
Yes, she's not a bad old stick, really.
After all, youth isn't everything, is it?
862
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:29,077
Indeed not, sir.
863
00:53:29,160 --> 00:53:33,677
It is well said that there's many a good tune
played on an old fiddle.
864
00:53:33,760 --> 00:53:36,957
True. Particularly when you haven't had
your bow out for some time.
865
00:53:39,040 --> 00:53:42,317
What do I want another wife for?
Look at the shower here tonight.
866
00:53:42,400 --> 00:53:46,314
Not one ofthem wonh a second look.
Certainly not wonh giving up 50,000 crowns for.
867
00:53:50,320 --> 00:53:51,230
I tell you, Wol...
868
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:56,397
- Wolsey.
- Yes, my lord.
869
00:53:56,480 --> 00:53:59,871
- Who's that with the two beauties?
- That's your third wife, sire.
870
00:53:59,960 --> 00:54:02,873
Not her. The fella that's just come in
with the two beauties.
871
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:05,600
Fellow with two beauties, my lord?
872
00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:12,838
Ooh, I see what you mean.
Oh, that's old Charles,
873
00:54:12,920 --> 00:54:15,116
the Earl of Bristol,
and his daughters.
874
00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:17,430
Oh, so those are Charlie's.
875
00:54:17,520 --> 00:54:20,353
Why haven't I seen them at court before?
876
00:54:20,440 --> 00:54:25,276
He's been our ambassador at the Spanish court.
They've only just come back.
877
00:54:25,360 --> 00:54:28,478
Looks like one ofthem hasn't had time
to unpack yet.
878
00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:31,279
Ha, ha! Maybe I can give her a hand with it.
879
00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:41,234
J' Musicians play
- Ah, the pavane. My favourite measure.
880
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:43,277
Mine, too.
881
00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:49,710
- Fancy that!
- Yes, I'm afraid he does.
882
00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:51,757
May I have the pleasure?
883
00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:54,036
Oh, no, I only came here to dance.
884
00:54:54,120 --> 00:54:56,430
The King is asking you to dance, Bettina.
885
00:54:56,520 --> 00:54:58,477
Oh, well, that's...
886
00:54:58,560 --> 00:54:59,834
The King!
887
00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:07,230
Please excuse her, Your Majesty.
'Tis her first time at court.
888
00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:11,837
That's all right. There has to be
a first time for every girl. May l, then?
889
00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:13,877
Oh, well, of course, Your Majesty.
890
00:55:13,960 --> 00:55:16,395
If I'd known who you were,
I wouldn't have said no.
891
00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:19,120
You keep on saying that and we'll be all right.
892
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:26,037
So they call you Bettina?
893
00:55:26,120 --> 00:55:29,397
Yes, but most people
just call me Bet, Your Majesty.
894
00:55:31,720 --> 00:55:34,360
If I'm going to call you Bet, you must call me Maj.
895
00:55:34,440 --> 00:55:36,397
All right, Maj.
896
00:55:40,520 --> 00:55:42,477
You dance very well, Bet.
897
00:55:42,560 --> 00:55:44,517
Thank you, Maj.
898
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:50,116
L'll bet you got plenty of it in Spain, eh?
899
00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:53,158
Oh, no, they never let me be alone
with anyone long enough.
900
00:55:53,240 --> 00:55:55,197
No, dancing, I mean.
901
00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:57,954
Oh, yes. But it's very different there, you know.
902
00:55:58,040 --> 00:56:00,998
You see, there's these two things...
903
00:56:01,080 --> 00:56:03,037
Yes, I'd noticed those.
904
00:56:03,120 --> 00:56:06,351
- They call them castanets.
- Oh, that's a new name for 'em.
905
00:56:06,440 --> 00:56:08,397
And all the time you're dancing,
906
00:56:08,480 --> 00:56:10,437
they keep knocking together.
907
00:56:10,520 --> 00:56:12,477
Yes, I'd noticed that, too.
908
00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:19,830
It's getting chilly in here. Shall we go
into the summerhouse and warm up a bit?
909
00:56:19,920 --> 00:56:23,834
Oh, no, I've heard what happens to girls
who go into summerhouses with men.
910
00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:25,877
Good, that should save a bit oftime.
911
00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:29,669
Oh, but I mustn't.
I promised my mother I'd be a good Bet.
912
00:56:29,760 --> 00:56:32,593
You're the best bet I've seen in years,
believe me.
913
00:56:32,680 --> 00:56:34,637
Maj!
914
00:56:37,360 --> 00:56:39,476
Why is he taking her out into the garden?
915
00:56:39,560 --> 00:56:42,359
Oh, I expect just to get a little air, ma'am.
916
00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:44,397
How many more heirs does he want?
917
00:56:46,240 --> 00:56:49,517
HENRY: That's it. Now you're getting the idea.
918
00:56:49,600 --> 00:56:52,718
BET: Oh! Oh, no more!
919
00:56:52,800 --> 00:56:54,757
BET: I'm not used to that much, you know.
920
00:56:54,840 --> 00:56:57,958
HENRY: It won'! hurt. Just a bit more.
Nearly finished.
921
00:56:58,040 --> 00:56:59,997
BET: Oh, no...
922
00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:03,038
BET: No, no!
HENRY: Come on, come on.
923
00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:07,512
Oh, no! My mother says
I mustn't have too much drink.
924
00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:09,557
It can lead to a girl's ruin.
925
00:57:09,640 --> 00:57:11,597
I'm beginning to love your mother.
926
00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:13,637
Drink inflames the ardour.
927
00:57:13,720 --> 00:57:15,996
Yes, the more you have, the harder it gets.
928
00:57:16,080 --> 00:57:18,196
To stop drinking, I mean. Ha, ha!
929
00:57:19,920 --> 00:57:21,149
Ooh!
930
00:57:21,240 --> 00:57:25,120
Oh, I can hardly believe it.
Little me in the King's arms.
931
00:57:25,200 --> 00:57:27,714
Well, it's the best boozer in town.
932
00:57:27,800 --> 00:57:31,430
With all those beautiful ladies in there,
why on earth did you pick on me?
933
00:57:31,520 --> 00:57:33,670
Well, there's a couple ofthings, l suppose.
934
00:57:33,760 --> 00:57:37,037
Oh, Maj! You're only after one thing.
935
00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:39,919
Why? What's the matter with the other one?
936
00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:43,356
Oh, I think you're one ofthose men
with evil dimensions.
937
00:57:43,440 --> 00:57:45,511
Intentions. On the contrary, my dear,
938
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:50,071
I'm about to do you the greatest honour
a benevolent monarch can do a subject.
939
00:57:50,160 --> 00:57:53,152
I know, you're going to make me a lady.
940
00:57:53,240 --> 00:57:54,514
Well, not quite.
941
00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:57,069
- What, then?
- To start with, I'm going to kiss you.
942
00:57:57,160 --> 00:58:01,358
Oh, no, my mother says I mustn't start kissing
men. You never know where it will end.
943
00:58:01,440 --> 00:58:02,874
I know where it will end.
944
00:58:02,960 --> 00:58:06,351
No, she says I must save myself
until I have a husband.
945
00:58:06,440 --> 00:58:09,910
- Well, that's all right. l'm a husband.
- That's right.
946
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:11,957
- You are, aren't you?
- Yes.
947
00:58:21,680 --> 00:58:23,637
There!
948
00:58:24,680 --> 00:58:26,591
- That was a little one.
- Yes.
949
00:58:26,680 --> 00:58:31,231
- Now, show me a big one.
- Oh, no, not now. I'm too hot.
950
00:58:31,320 --> 00:58:33,914
No wonder you're too hot.
You're laced up too tight.
951
00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:37,630
Oh, no. Don't you undo those.
I've nothing underneath.
952
00:58:37,720 --> 00:58:39,791
You must be joking! Go on, I won't look.
953
00:58:39,880 --> 00:58:42,918
Oh, well, all right, then. But I'll undo them.
954
00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:45,355
If you promise to keep your eyes shut
all the time?
955
00:58:45,440 --> 00:58:47,397
Yes, yes, of course, yes.
956
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:52,917
I won't be a minute.
957
00:58:55,600 --> 00:58:57,557
There, that's better.
958
00:58:57,640 --> 00:59:00,473
Come on, where are you?
959
00:59:00,560 --> 00:59:02,517
Cor... Ooh!
960
00:59:02,600 --> 00:59:05,399
Oh, Bet, my darling Bet,
961
00:59:05,480 --> 00:59:07,391
you are beautiful.
962
00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:09,949
- Ooh, what have I done?
- Hee, hee!
963
00:59:11,520 --> 00:59:13,477
You little devil, you!
964
00:59:13,560 --> 00:59:15,517
Come here!
965
00:59:17,280 --> 00:59:20,591
There must be an easier way to earn a loving.
Come here!
966
00:59:24,280 --> 00:59:27,955
Ah, good day, my love. Good day indeed.
967
00:59:29,240 --> 00:59:32,471
And where, might I ask, have you been
for the past two weeks?
968
00:59:32,560 --> 00:59:35,632
Me? I had to go down to Bristol
to lay a foundation stone.
969
00:59:35,720 --> 00:59:38,678
Yes, I ratherthought
you might be laying something.
970
00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:43,350
How good it is to see my dear wife
so happily intent on her embroidery.
971
00:59:43,440 --> 00:59:47,559
And why should I not be happy, my lord,
when it is something to remind me of you?
972
00:59:47,640 --> 00:59:49,995
Me? Really? Let's have a look.
973
00:59:52,840 --> 00:59:54,877
It is not quite finished yet.
974
00:59:54,960 --> 00:59:56,917
No. No, don't tell me...
975
00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:59,674
Oh, yes. "Henry is a sh...
976
00:59:59,760 --> 01:00:01,717
shining example to one and all."
977
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:05,350
Oh, now you have spoilt my little surprise.
978
01:00:05,440 --> 01:00:08,796
And talking of surprises, my love,
I have one for you.
979
01:00:08,880 --> 01:00:11,520
- Yes?
- Something you've needed for some time.
980
01:00:11,600 --> 01:00:15,833
- Isn't it a little late for that?
- You'll never guess. A new lady-in-waiting.
981
01:00:15,920 --> 01:00:16,990
Come in, my dear.
982
01:00:19,840 --> 01:00:21,797
There you are.
983
01:00:21,880 --> 01:00:24,030
Now, don't say I never get you anything.
984
01:00:26,600 --> 01:00:29,513
Go on, say your piece.
985
01:00:29,600 --> 01:00:31,557
Your Majesty.
986
01:00:31,640 --> 01:00:34,996
It is a great honour.
The King has done me.
987
01:00:36,200 --> 01:00:38,840
No, no, no. No full stop.
988
01:00:38,920 --> 01:00:41,150
A great honourthe King has done me.
989
01:00:41,240 --> 01:00:43,197
Oh, that's right. Sorry.
990
01:00:43,280 --> 01:00:47,274
It is a great honour the King has done me
by making me.
991
01:00:48,360 --> 01:00:50,715
By making me your lady-in-waiting.
992
01:00:50,800 --> 01:00:52,359
Dear, oh, dear.
993
01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:56,229
By making me your lady-in-waiting.
Oh, dear, oh, dear.
994
01:01:10,840 --> 01:01:12,797
A whole month gone
995
01:01:12,880 --> 01:01:18,034
and nothing but an occasional wave
do l get from her to still the fever in my blood.
996
01:01:18,120 --> 01:01:21,238
Methinks, sire, it is high time
we went hunting again.
997
01:01:21,320 --> 01:01:23,277
No, I'm in no mood forthat.
998
01:01:23,360 --> 01:01:27,593
Ooh, I have such a passion for this wench,
it rots my very socks.
999
01:01:27,680 --> 01:01:30,638
- Then make her yours.
- Don't you think I've tried?
1000
01:01:30,720 --> 01:01:35,317
But every time my eager hand lights upon
her...flesh, you can hearthe wedding march.
1001
01:01:35,400 --> 01:01:38,950
- Oh, then you must marry her.
- And lose 50,000 crowns?
1002
01:01:39,040 --> 01:01:42,749
Perhaps for nothing? Oh, no.
I've been tricked by women before.
1003
01:01:42,840 --> 01:01:48,199
Too often have l split open a likely looking pod
to find nothing but shrivelled peas within.
1004
01:01:48,280 --> 01:01:50,669
You have not seen herwithout?
1005
01:01:50,760 --> 01:01:52,717
No, worst luck.
1006
01:01:52,800 --> 01:01:55,155
Ifl could only be sure that the...
1007
01:01:56,720 --> 01:01:59,439
...were all they promised, l would indeed risk all.
1008
01:01:59,520 --> 01:02:01,477
Well, sire,
1009
01:02:01,560 --> 01:02:04,871
there are more ways than one to peel a banana.
1010
01:02:04,960 --> 01:02:07,349
- Over here, we have petunias.
- They're lovely.
1011
01:02:07,440 --> 01:02:10,637
- A little further down is the rose garden.
- They're beautiful.
1012
01:02:10,720 --> 01:02:13,872
The gardeners are kept very busy.
There's quite a lot of them.
1013
01:02:13,960 --> 01:02:16,429
Well, there would need to be, wouldn'! there?
1014
01:02:16,520 --> 01:02:19,273
The swans should be coming up fairly shortly.
1015
01:02:19,360 --> 01:02:22,478
- Over there, you see.
- Oh, where?
1016
01:02:22,560 --> 01:02:25,951
- Oh, yes.
- I've got the biggest swan in the country.
1017
01:02:26,040 --> 01:02:28,270
- Come over here, I'll show it to you.
- Yes.
1018
01:02:28,360 --> 01:02:30,829
Now, just over here, you get a beautiful view.
1019
01:02:30,920 --> 01:02:34,197
Just er...round about there, I would say.
1020
01:02:35,600 --> 01:02:37,034
Oh!
1021
01:02:37,120 --> 01:02:38,997
You twit!
1022
01:02:40,480 --> 01:02:43,040
0h, you poor thing!
1023
01:02:43,120 --> 01:02:46,750
You're all wet through.
Here, let me help you off with your cloak.
1024
01:02:46,840 --> 01:02:49,992
No, no, it's the wrong way round.
I was supposed to help...
1025
01:03:03,800 --> 01:03:07,395
See? That is the window ofthe room
where she daily bathes at this hour.
1026
01:03:07,480 --> 01:03:09,517
Ha, ha! Right, no mistakes this time.
1027
01:03:09,600 --> 01:03:12,558
Don't worry, sire, nothing can go wrong.
1028
01:03:19,200 --> 01:03:21,157
All right, let's go.
1029
01:03:21,240 --> 01:03:24,517
- Well, come on, come on.
- She won't move, sire.
1030
01:03:24,600 --> 01:03:26,910
- Giddy-up, you lazy lump!
(Horse whinnies)
1031
01:03:29,160 --> 01:03:30,559
No! Argh!
1032
01:03:43,200 --> 01:03:46,830
M'lord, Sir Roger's given in.
He'll sign a retraction statement.
1033
01:03:46,920 --> 01:03:50,675
Thank heavens! After all these weeks of waiting.
Well, bring him in.
1034
01:04:00,600 --> 01:04:03,353
Cromwell, you win again.
1035
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:06,239
I warned you, Sir Roger. We'll go to...
1036
01:04:07,280 --> 01:04:09,749
We'll go to any lengths to get what we want.
1037
01:04:19,280 --> 01:04:21,396
You sent for me, my lord?
1038
01:04:21,480 --> 01:04:26,395
Yes, Mistress Bet. We're so well pleased
with your services that we wish to honour you.
1039
01:04:26,480 --> 01:04:30,758
- Oh! Oh, how lovely!
- Carry on, my Lord Cardinal.
1040
01:04:30,840 --> 01:04:35,152
It is Our most gracious Majesty's desire
that you be given this.
1041
01:04:35,240 --> 01:04:36,958
Oh, isn't it lovely?
1042
01:04:38,160 --> 01:04:39,309
Shall I put it on?
1043
01:04:39,400 --> 01:04:42,518
Not yet. A ceremonial gown goes with it
that you must put on first.
1044
01:04:42,600 --> 01:04:45,114
- Oh. Now?
- Of course.
1045
01:04:45,200 --> 01:04:49,592
But surely Your Grace would not be so cruel as
to ask me to take this one off before your eyes?
1046
01:04:49,680 --> 01:04:52,479
Of course not. That's what the screen is for.
1047
01:04:52,560 --> 01:04:55,518
Oh, I'm sorry I misjudged you, my lord.
1048
01:05:12,400 --> 01:05:14,755
- Phwoar!
- Do you mind?
1049
01:05:14,840 --> 01:05:17,354
Oh, I beg your pardon, Your Majesty,
1050
01:05:17,440 --> 01:05:21,798
but I have ne'er seen one
so beautifully endowed.
1051
01:05:21,880 --> 01:05:23,837
Those dimpled shoulders,
1052
01:05:23,920 --> 01:05:25,877
that slender neck,
1053
01:05:26,920 --> 01:05:29,309
those shell-like ears...
1054
01:05:29,400 --> 01:05:32,995
Later. I'm going the other way.
1055
01:05:33,080 --> 01:05:34,309
Mmm.
1056
01:05:35,400 --> 01:05:38,153
Sire, I have it! I have it!
1057
01:05:39,240 --> 01:05:41,072
Quiet.
1058
01:05:42,400 --> 01:05:44,357
There. ls it all right?
1059
01:05:44,440 --> 01:05:46,397
Absolutely perfect, my dear.
1060
01:05:46,480 --> 01:05:50,075
Cromwell, you couldn't have come
at a better time. Meet your future queen.
1061
01:05:50,160 --> 01:05:53,596
How do you do, ma'am?
Here it is at last, sire. Duly signed.
1062
01:05:54,680 --> 01:05:56,557
Future queen?
1063
01:05:56,640 --> 01:05:58,916
That's right. As from as soon as possible.
1064
01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:01,719
But I have Sir Roger's retraction here. Look.
1065
01:06:01,800 --> 01:06:04,633
Retraction, you fool! What use is that?
I want a divorce.
1066
01:06:04,720 --> 01:06:07,109
A divorce? But what of Queen Marie?
1067
01:06:07,200 --> 01:06:11,034
Your issue? The 50,000 gold crowns?
1068
01:06:11,120 --> 01:06:15,398
You charlatan! Would you put mere gold
before the wellbeing of all England?
1069
01:06:15,480 --> 01:06:17,232
Wellbeing of England?
1070
01:06:17,320 --> 01:06:20,836
Certainly. If I'm happy, everybody's happy.
1071
01:06:20,920 --> 01:06:23,799
What are you waiting for?
Go and get that confession.
1072
01:06:23,880 --> 01:06:25,837
(Sobs hysterically)
1073
01:06:31,120 --> 01:06:35,671
Well, there you are, then. As you see,
I've managed to get your old room back for you.
1074
01:06:35,760 --> 01:06:38,400
- It's really quite...
- Please, my Lord Cardinal.
1075
01:06:38,480 --> 01:06:41,438
Spare me the bit about the view
from the window. I've seen it.
1076
01:06:41,520 --> 01:06:45,673
Well, it won't be for long. Just until they get
Sir Roger's confession of paternity.
1077
01:06:45,760 --> 01:06:48,354
My lord, you are still my friend, an thou not?
1078
01:06:48,440 --> 01:06:50,397
Oh, I most definitely an, yes.
1079
01:06:50,480 --> 01:06:54,155
Then help me get word of my imprisonment
to my cousin King Francis.
1080
01:06:54,240 --> 01:06:56,470
Oh, not another letter, please.
1081
01:06:56,560 --> 01:06:58,517
Oh, 'tis only a short one.
1082
01:07:01,680 --> 01:07:03,239
Oooh...
1083
01:07:03,320 --> 01:07:05,277
Don't worry, I'll tell him.
1084
01:07:07,760 --> 01:07:10,639
What do you mean, he won't fit into it any more?
1085
01:07:10,720 --> 01:07:13,519
The rack won't go any further, m'lord.
He's outgrown it.
1086
01:07:13,600 --> 01:07:16,035
That's ridiculous. There must be some way.
1087
01:07:16,120 --> 01:07:18,077
Here, wait a minute.
1088
01:07:18,160 --> 01:07:20,595
What about the iron maiden?
I've never tried that.
1089
01:07:20,680 --> 01:07:23,069
Well, I suppose we could give it a try.
1090
01:07:23,160 --> 01:07:26,278
Hello? Anyone in there...?
1091
01:07:26,360 --> 01:07:29,876
Oh, no, it says vacant. Look.
1092
01:07:29,960 --> 01:07:31,997
That's a bit of luck.
1093
01:07:38,440 --> 01:07:41,353
Would you mind? Thanks. The hat.
1094
01:07:41,440 --> 01:07:43,397
There. I thinkl can manage it.
1095
01:07:45,360 --> 01:07:47,351
Mind you don't prick yourself.
1096
01:07:47,440 --> 01:07:49,397
Bye-bye.
1097
01:07:50,440 --> 01:07:53,478
Don't stay in there too long.
Others may want to use it.
1098
01:07:55,200 --> 01:07:58,033
Move the spikes in one inch daily.
1099
01:08:06,760 --> 01:08:09,229
- Your Majesty.
- Did you get the confession?
1100
01:08:09,320 --> 01:08:11,675
- I fear not, sire.
- It's been a whole week.
1101
01:08:11,760 --> 01:08:13,910
I know. His stamina's amazing.
1102
01:08:14,000 --> 01:08:15,957
But I don't think he can keep it up.
1103
01:08:16,040 --> 01:08:17,997
I don't think I can either.
1104
01:08:18,080 --> 01:08:20,674
How much longer
are we going to stand here waiting?
1105
01:08:20,760 --> 01:08:22,637
All right. Take a break. Back in an hour.
1106
01:08:22,720 --> 01:08:24,677
Then that is the plan, gentlemen.
1107
01:08:24,760 --> 01:08:26,797
We rescue Queen Marie from the Tower,
1108
01:08:26,880 --> 01:08:28,837
confront Henry with her,
1109
01:08:28,920 --> 01:08:31,036
and force his abdication in her favour.
1110
01:08:31,120 --> 01:08:35,193
Agreed. But how will we gain access
to the main gate? It's heavily bolted.
1111
01:08:35,280 --> 01:08:37,840
Yes. That is the main problem.
1112
01:08:37,920 --> 01:08:41,436
- Well, l still have those barrels of gunpowder.
- Thank you, Fawkes!
1113
01:08:43,760 --> 01:08:46,400
Well, well, l see you're keeping busy, ma'am.
1114
01:08:48,080 --> 01:08:50,435
Yes, it is a present for my cousin Francis.
1115
01:08:50,520 --> 01:08:53,797
When it is finished, I would like you
to smuggle it out to him.
1116
01:08:53,880 --> 01:08:55,473
Oooh!
1117
01:08:55,560 --> 01:08:58,029
Ooh, I do hope that won't be necessary, ma'am.
1118
01:08:58,120 --> 01:09:00,794
- Sir Roger has not confessed yet, then?
- No, no.
1119
01:09:00,880 --> 01:09:03,679
No, ma'am, it's quite extraordinary.
Two weeks now.
1120
01:09:06,520 --> 01:09:08,477
Is it true, then? He is ready to sign?
1121
01:09:08,560 --> 01:09:13,031
I think so, m'lord. At the last turn ofthe spikes,
he cried out, "Enough!"
1122
01:09:13,120 --> 01:09:15,589
Oh, good. Open up, then, quickly. Open up.
1123
01:09:15,680 --> 01:09:18,069
Well, well, Sir Roger.
1124
01:09:18,160 --> 01:09:20,879
- You've had enough, then?
- I'll say.
1125
01:09:20,960 --> 01:09:25,796
There was a shocking draught
in the most extraordinary places.
1126
01:09:25,880 --> 01:09:27,951
Well, help him out. Quickly, quickly.
1127
01:09:30,240 --> 01:09:32,197
Sign here.
1128
01:09:32,280 --> 01:09:35,398
Oh, do you mind?
First, please, can I have a drink?
1129
01:09:35,480 --> 01:09:39,269
Yes. Water, quickly. Go to the King immediately
and tell him the good news.
1130
01:09:39,360 --> 01:09:41,317
Here, sign. Sign here.
1131
01:09:55,360 --> 01:09:59,513
- Sir Roger is to sign the confession.
- That's it. I'm divorced. Here we go.
1132
01:10:03,520 --> 01:10:05,477
Come on, love. Wake up. This is it.
1133
01:10:05,560 --> 01:10:07,517
Where's Wolsey? Where is he?
1134
01:10:07,600 --> 01:10:09,830
He said he had to go to Canterbury
to try a witch.
1135
01:10:09,920 --> 01:10:12,480
- Try a witch! Why?
- Oh, don't ask me.
1136
01:10:12,560 --> 01:10:15,518
I should have thought
they'd be the same as any other girl.
1137
01:10:15,600 --> 01:10:18,797
He doesn't mean "try" in that sense.
Never mind, we'll do it without him.
1138
01:10:18,880 --> 01:10:21,872
- We weren't going to do it with him, were we?
- I mean get married.
1139
01:10:21,960 --> 01:10:25,157
- But how?
- Nothing to it. Just stand there. I'll show you.
1140
01:10:26,200 --> 01:10:28,476
She does. I do. I now declare us. That's it.
1141
01:10:28,560 --> 01:10:30,517
In you go. Through there.
1142
01:10:30,600 --> 01:10:33,069
- Is that all?
- What do you want? Organ music?
1143
01:10:33,160 --> 01:10:36,039
- But I don't feel married.
- You will in halfan hour.
1144
01:10:42,640 --> 01:10:44,597
Beautiful, beautiful.
1145
01:10:44,680 --> 01:10:47,752
Every inch a queen
and every inch accounted for.
1146
01:10:47,840 --> 01:10:49,592
- Sh!
- What are you reading?
1147
01:10:49,680 --> 01:10:51,671
Ball's Book of English Law.
1148
01:10:51,760 --> 01:10:53,876
- Pardon?
- It says here
1149
01:10:53,960 --> 01:10:58,033
that no marriage is legal unless it is performed
by a member ofthe church.
1150
01:10:58,120 --> 01:11:00,430
Oh, that's just Ball's...outlook.
1151
01:11:00,520 --> 01:11:03,080
- But it says it.
- I knowthat.
1152
01:11:03,160 --> 01:11:07,040
But what you don't know is that I made myself
head ofthe English Church.
1153
01:11:07,120 --> 01:11:09,509
- Really? When?
- Right now.
1154
01:11:09,600 --> 01:11:13,309
Oh, so it's all right, then. l really am Queen?
1155
01:11:13,400 --> 01:11:15,516
That's it. Bet, Queen of England.
1156
01:11:15,600 --> 01:11:18,240
You'll have to tell me what my duties are.
1157
01:11:18,320 --> 01:11:20,277
L'll do better. l'll show you.
1158
01:11:22,120 --> 01:11:23,394
(Clang!)
1159
01:11:25,200 --> 01:11:29,751
How many times do I have to tell them
about that? It could have ruined my prospects.
1160
01:11:29,840 --> 01:11:32,798
Poor Henry. Can I do something?
1161
01:11:32,880 --> 01:11:35,030
If you can't, I've been wasting my time.
1162
01:11:35,120 --> 01:11:37,316
Hang on.
1163
01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:40,957
Oh, Bet. Sweet Bet.
1164
01:11:41,040 --> 01:11:42,997
How long have I waited for this moment?
1165
01:11:43,080 --> 01:11:47,039
Oh, dear Henry. I do hope
I shall not be a disappointment to you.
1166
01:11:47,120 --> 01:11:49,794
- I'm sure you won't.
- But it's all right for you.
1167
01:11:49,880 --> 01:11:53,157
- You've had plenty of practice.
- Oh, Bet, sweet Bet.
1168
01:11:53,240 --> 01:11:55,800
(Knock on door)
- Oh, no, go away! I'm busy.
1169
01:11:55,880 --> 01:11:58,872
Pardon, butifs King Francis.
He's riding into the courtyard.
1170
01:11:58,960 --> 01:12:00,917
Francis!
1171
01:12:10,960 --> 01:12:15,989
It is Francis. l'm sorry, love. l'll have to go.
Keep it warm. l'll be back as soon as l can.
1172
01:12:21,680 --> 01:12:23,637
- Fanny!
- Gracey!
1173
01:12:23,720 --> 01:12:25,677
Oh, pardon. Lipstick.
1174
01:12:25,760 --> 01:12:28,593
How overjoyed I am to see you again,
my dear friend.
1175
01:12:28,680 --> 01:12:31,991
And I you. I hope you did not mind
my coming unheralded?
1176
01:12:32,080 --> 01:12:35,914
Not at all. l am honoured to see
my noble, well-loved ally at any time.
1177
01:12:36,000 --> 01:12:38,958
Merci. Up ze glorious line of England!
1178
01:12:39,040 --> 01:12:42,795
And up yours. Well, I won't keep you.
I expect you're wanting to get back home.
1179
01:12:42,880 --> 01:12:43,995
True, true.
1180
01:12:44,080 --> 01:12:48,836
But I could not bear to leave without first paying
respects to my dear cousin, Queen Marie.
1181
01:12:48,920 --> 01:12:52,231
Yes... Well, now, that's not quite possible
at the moment.
1182
01:12:52,320 --> 01:12:55,392
- No?
- Well, she's getting very near her time.
1183
01:12:55,480 --> 01:12:57,437
How you so quaintly put it.
1184
01:12:57,520 --> 01:12:59,875
In ze club of ze pudding?
1185
01:12:59,960 --> 01:13:02,236
That's it. Queen's pudding. Ha, ha!
1186
01:13:03,520 --> 01:13:06,990
And no doubt she will be resting
up in her bedchamber now, eh?
1187
01:13:07,080 --> 01:13:08,229
Naturally. Where else?
1188
01:13:09,320 --> 01:13:13,075
You know, this will make you
laugh very much. But...
1189
01:13:13,160 --> 01:13:15,993
- An absurd rumour has reached me...
- Yes?
1190
01:13:16,080 --> 01:13:19,436
...zat she is being confined in ze Tower.
1191
01:13:19,520 --> 01:13:21,477
The Tower? Ha, ha!
1192
01:13:21,560 --> 01:13:26,475
Absurd, I know.
Something about ze pudding not being yours.
1193
01:13:26,560 --> 01:13:28,119
Ha, ha!
1194
01:13:28,200 --> 01:13:31,158
I've never heard anything so ridiculous in my life.
1195
01:13:31,240 --> 01:13:34,153
Absurd, I know. That is what I tell my advisors.
1196
01:13:34,240 --> 01:13:35,196
You see,
1197
01:13:35,280 --> 01:13:38,750
Bidet, I told you,
there was no need to bring ze army.
1198
01:13:38,840 --> 01:13:39,796
Army?
1199
01:13:40,920 --> 01:13:44,197
Just 20,000 men. They are encamped at Dover.
1200
01:13:44,280 --> 01:13:48,399
Fancy. I hope they're enjoying themselves.
Dover can be very nice at this time of year.
1201
01:13:48,480 --> 01:13:50,551
I thought ze change would do them good.
1202
01:13:50,640 --> 01:13:52,597
They're very restless, you know.
1203
01:13:52,680 --> 01:13:54,796
They have not fought for some time.
1204
01:13:54,880 --> 01:13:56,837
Yes, I've er...just had a thought.
1205
01:13:56,920 --> 01:13:59,753
I'll pop upstairs and see
if Marie can see you for a while.
1206
01:13:59,840 --> 01:14:02,036
Oh, zat would be most kind.
1207
01:14:02,120 --> 01:14:06,512
I thought it might be. Meanwhile, I'll have
some food and wine brought in for you.
1208
01:14:06,600 --> 01:14:08,796
- Oh, zat would be delightful.
- Yes.
1209
01:14:14,480 --> 01:14:17,359
Get wine and food.
Keep them occupied as long as you can.
1210
01:14:17,440 --> 01:14:19,238
Yes, sire.
1211
01:14:19,320 --> 01:14:21,675
- Wolsey, come here!
- Ooh, I'm so sorry...
1212
01:14:21,760 --> 01:14:24,639
Never mind. Go to the Tower fast as you can
and bring Marie here.
1213
01:14:24,720 --> 01:14:26,836
- What?
- Go on! Go on!
1214
01:15:06,480 --> 01:15:08,471
Oh, Fawkes!
1215
01:15:08,560 --> 01:15:11,791
You and your bloody gunpowder!
1216
01:15:11,880 --> 01:15:14,076
Just a minute.
1217
01:15:34,200 --> 01:15:35,952
Come on!
1218
01:15:45,040 --> 01:15:48,874
Well, well, well. Looking after you all right,
are they, gentlemen?
1219
01:15:48,960 --> 01:15:51,395
Plenty of wine?
1220
01:15:51,480 --> 01:15:52,675
Where's King Francis?
1221
01:15:52,760 --> 01:15:57,834
I fear he grew impatient, my lord,
and decided to go up and surprise the Queen.
1222
01:15:57,920 --> 01:15:59,479
Oh, no!
1223
01:16:00,560 --> 01:16:02,631
Now it's war.
1224
01:16:09,320 --> 01:16:12,073
Haw-haw-haw!
1225
01:16:15,120 --> 01:16:17,077
Surprise!
1226
01:16:18,680 --> 01:16:20,637
Oh, pardon, madam!
1227
01:16:20,720 --> 01:16:22,677
Oh, that's all right.
1228
01:16:22,760 --> 01:16:25,639
L...l thought this was the Queen's bedchamber.
1229
01:16:25,720 --> 01:16:27,870
Oh, it is. Who are you, then?
1230
01:16:27,960 --> 01:16:29,917
Francis,
1231
01:16:30,000 --> 01:16:31,957
King of France.
1232
01:16:33,000 --> 01:16:34,957
At your service.
1233
01:16:35,040 --> 01:16:39,273
Oh, I say! Two kings in my room in one night.
That's going it!
1234
01:16:39,360 --> 01:16:42,273
- Mon Dieu, you are ravishing!
- What, me?
1235
01:16:42,360 --> 01:16:45,478
What we call in France, un petit raver.
1236
01:16:45,560 --> 01:16:46,516
Ooh!
1237
01:16:46,600 --> 01:16:49,672
But tell me, I must know...who are you?
1238
01:16:49,760 --> 01:16:51,910
Oh, I'm the Queen, silly.
1239
01:16:53,160 --> 01:16:55,117
Ze Queen?
1240
01:16:57,840 --> 01:16:59,797
Oh, you've met.
1241
01:16:59,880 --> 01:17:04,351
Who is this and what does she mean by...
she is the Queen?
1242
01:17:04,440 --> 01:17:07,558
Did she tell you that? She's having you on.
Don't take any notice.
1243
01:17:07,640 --> 01:17:10,393
You're a naughty girl.
What are you doing in the Queen's bed?
1244
01:17:10,480 --> 01:17:12,039
Waiting for you.
1245
01:17:12,120 --> 01:17:14,077
BOTH; Ha! Ha!
1246
01:17:14,160 --> 01:17:16,117
I understand. She is your mistress?
1247
01:17:16,200 --> 01:17:19,716
She is not. She's the Queen's lady-in-waiting,
Mistress Bettina.
1248
01:17:19,800 --> 01:17:23,191
What are you talking about? You married me.
1249
01:17:23,280 --> 01:17:25,237
Ha, ha! Married!
1250
01:17:25,320 --> 01:17:27,277
That's a laugh.
1251
01:17:27,360 --> 01:17:30,159
She's a nice, little thing
but she hasn't got much up here.
1252
01:17:30,240 --> 01:17:32,595
But she makes up for it elsewhere, eh?
1253
01:17:32,680 --> 01:17:35,320
Don't you think we ought to go back downstairs?
1254
01:17:35,400 --> 01:17:38,472
No, no. I wish to have a few words
with Mistress Bettina.
1255
01:17:38,560 --> 01:17:41,871
My dear, are you hiding something from me?
1256
01:17:41,960 --> 01:17:44,554
In this nightgown? You must be joking.
1257
01:17:44,640 --> 01:17:48,918
Then zere is something
I want you to tell me very truthfully.
1258
01:17:49,000 --> 01:17:50,195
Yes, what?
1259
01:17:50,280 --> 01:17:53,830
I wish to know where Marie is.
1260
01:17:55,040 --> 01:17:57,190
- Marie?
- Oui, oui.
1261
01:17:59,520 --> 01:18:01,591
Oh, she's up the spout.
1262
01:18:01,680 --> 01:18:04,433
Er, no, no. I don't zink you quite understand.
1263
01:18:04,520 --> 01:18:07,478
Where - is - she?
1264
01:18:08,760 --> 01:18:10,990
Oh! Oh, she's upstairs.
1265
01:18:11,080 --> 01:18:13,117
Upstairs?
1266
01:18:13,200 --> 01:18:15,077
That's right. In the Tower.
1267
01:18:17,160 --> 01:18:20,118
- So, it is true?
- Now, wait a minute, Fanny. I can explain.
1268
01:18:20,200 --> 01:18:22,157
Don't bother!
1269
01:18:23,440 --> 01:18:25,397
I shall return...
1270
01:18:25,480 --> 01:18:27,437
with my army.
1271
01:18:28,520 --> 01:18:30,511
Big mouth!
1272
01:18:32,120 --> 01:18:34,077
Gentlemen!
1273
01:18:34,160 --> 01:18:36,117
We will rejoin ze army.
1274
01:18:36,200 --> 01:18:38,157
It is war.
1275
01:18:38,240 --> 01:18:40,197
Fanny, wait! Here, Fanny.
1276
01:18:40,280 --> 01:18:42,715
Fanny, come here. Now, let me explain.
1277
01:18:42,800 --> 01:18:46,031
You are a liar. You told me
the Queen was not in ze Tower.
1278
01:18:46,120 --> 01:18:49,078
- Only because I didn't want to worry you.
- Worry? Me?
1279
01:18:49,160 --> 01:18:52,039
You see,
I had news of a plot on the Queen's life.
1280
01:18:52,120 --> 01:18:54,509
They were going to abduct her from the palace.
1281
01:18:54,600 --> 01:18:56,557
- And?
- And well, to fool them,
1282
01:18:56,640 --> 01:19:01,157
we put the lady-in-waiting in her room and
Wolsey took the Queen to the Tower for safety.
1283
01:19:01,240 --> 01:19:04,870
- I hope zis time you are telling me the truth.
- Why should I lie?
1284
01:19:04,960 --> 01:19:06,280
Your Majesty...
1285
01:19:06,360 --> 01:19:08,237
Here's Wolsey. He'll tell you.
1286
01:19:08,320 --> 01:19:12,279
- Your Majesty, I have dire news.
- I'm not interested in your personal complaints.
1287
01:19:12,360 --> 01:19:13,634
- But, sire...
- Never mind.
1288
01:19:13,720 --> 01:19:17,111
King Francis would like to know
whether the Queen is safely in the Tower.
1289
01:19:17,200 --> 01:19:20,397
- No, she isn't.
- Don't mess about. You can tell him. It's fine.
1290
01:19:20,480 --> 01:19:22,676
But she isn't there. She's been abducted.
1291
01:19:22,760 --> 01:19:26,310
Well, Henry? What game is this, huh?
1292
01:19:26,400 --> 01:19:30,189
I cannot believe it. My dear beautiful wife,
to lose her at such a time.
1293
01:19:30,280 --> 01:19:33,511
- And it's all your fault, you Cardinal!
- Me? What have l done?
1294
01:19:33,600 --> 01:19:36,991
What haven't you done? I entrusted her
to you and you betrayed my trust.
1295
01:19:37,080 --> 01:19:40,960
- I've been trying to get rid of her for a year.
- There's only one cure for traitors.
1296
01:19:41,040 --> 01:19:44,158
- To the Towerwith him!
- Ooh, no! Get your hands off me.
1297
01:19:44,240 --> 01:19:46,311
Sire, look... Mind my hat!
1298
01:19:46,400 --> 01:19:48,357
Listen, can l...l explain?
1299
01:19:48,440 --> 01:19:50,113
My lord...
1300
01:19:57,480 --> 01:19:59,437
My beloved Marie.
1301
01:19:59,520 --> 01:20:01,477
My only true love.
1302
01:20:01,560 --> 01:20:03,870
Bear up. All is not lost.
1303
01:20:03,960 --> 01:20:05,917
She may yet be found alive.
1304
01:20:06,000 --> 01:20:08,230
I hope not...er, hope all is not lost.
1305
01:20:08,320 --> 01:20:10,277
I cannot bear the...
1306
01:20:10,360 --> 01:20:14,831
thought of never holding that lissom form
in my arms again. Oh, the enormity of it!
1307
01:20:14,920 --> 01:20:16,877
She was a bit on the large side, Gracey.
1308
01:20:16,960 --> 01:20:19,873
But I loved her, Fanny. Every little acre of her.
1309
01:20:19,960 --> 01:20:21,917
I know how you feel.
1310
01:20:22,000 --> 01:20:25,197
I only recently lost my last queen, you know.
1311
01:20:25,280 --> 01:20:27,874
- Oh, I didn't know. How?
- It was quite sudden.
1312
01:20:28,920 --> 01:20:32,197
She...caught her neck in ze guillotine.
1313
01:20:32,640 --> 01:20:35,314
- Her Majesty, Queen Marie!
BOTH: What?
1314
01:20:40,120 --> 01:20:41,315
Marie!
1315
01:20:41,400 --> 01:20:44,358
Oh, dear cousin!
1316
01:20:46,640 --> 01:20:51,032
- Welcome, Francis.
- What a joy to see you safe and...
1317
01:20:51,120 --> 01:20:53,396
- Well!
- Thanks only to Lord Hampton here.
1318
01:20:53,480 --> 01:20:56,916
My love! My own true love,
I cannot tell you how delighted I am.
1319
01:20:57,000 --> 01:21:00,630
You may not be so delighted once you have
heard what Lord Hampton has to say.
1320
01:21:00,720 --> 01:21:04,475
- Sire, it is my painful duty...
- No, no. No apologies, my dear Hampton.
1321
01:21:04,560 --> 01:21:08,315
It is enough that you have delivered
my dear Queen safely back to me.
1322
01:21:08,400 --> 01:21:12,758
- L do not think you can understand...
- And your grateful King will reward you.
1323
01:21:12,840 --> 01:21:15,753
- I know you're a poor man.
- Yes. But actually, I came here...
1324
01:21:15,840 --> 01:21:18,719
No, no modesty, my dear Hampton.
Give me your sword.
1325
01:21:21,520 --> 01:21:23,477
KneeL
1326
01:21:24,520 --> 01:21:27,399
Hampton of Wick, we do herewith dub you
1327
01:21:27,480 --> 01:21:30,313
Lord ofthe Duchy of Berkshire.
1328
01:21:30,400 --> 01:21:33,631
Arise, Hampton, Prince of Berks.
1329
01:21:37,720 --> 01:21:40,234
Sire, I am sensible to the honour but...
1330
01:21:40,320 --> 01:21:44,393
And the 10,000 crowns a year that go with it.
1331
01:21:44,480 --> 01:21:46,551
I am your most loyal servant, Your Majesty.
1332
01:21:46,640 --> 01:21:49,871
You'd better be.
You now have our permission to withdraw.
1333
01:21:51,240 --> 01:21:53,197
Lord Hampton!
1334
01:21:53,280 --> 01:21:55,556
Have you forgotten the purpose of your coming?
1335
01:21:55,640 --> 01:21:58,678
I am sorry, ma'am,
but I must live up to my family motto:
1336
01:21:58,760 --> 01:22:01,878
"Non fartum contra tornaetrum,"
1337
01:22:01,960 --> 01:22:06,193
which unhappily means
"Fight not against thunder."
1338
01:22:10,840 --> 01:22:14,151
Well, l'm glad that's all settled.
Now l must take you up to bye-byes.
1339
01:22:14,240 --> 01:22:16,197
Oh, no, you don't, Henry Tudor.
1340
01:22:16,280 --> 01:22:19,511
I am not yet finished with you
or that puny little Hampton.
1341
01:22:19,600 --> 01:22:22,638
Now, steady, love. Not in front of the visitors.
1342
01:22:22,720 --> 01:22:25,838
You may have been able to silence him.
But not me.
1343
01:22:25,920 --> 01:22:27,877
Cousin Francis, I must tell you...
1344
01:22:27,960 --> 01:22:29,633
Sire! Sire!
1345
01:22:29,720 --> 01:22:31,677
Sire, I have it.
1346
01:22:31,760 --> 01:22:34,718
Look, the confession. All signed.
1347
01:22:34,800 --> 01:22:38,714
- What confession? What do you mean?
- Sir Roger's confession of paternity...
1348
01:22:39,920 --> 01:22:43,470
Oh! Yes, well, perhaps some other time.
1349
01:22:43,560 --> 01:22:45,517
Just a minute. Let me see that.
1350
01:22:45,600 --> 01:22:48,752
So it's you that's been fermenting
this dastardly lie.
1351
01:22:48,840 --> 01:22:50,069
Yes... What?
1352
01:22:50,160 --> 01:22:53,869
Do you think I would have believed it possible
of such a loving wife as she?
1353
01:22:53,960 --> 01:22:57,510
- But I thought...
- This is what I think of your base treachery.
1354
01:22:57,600 --> 01:23:00,638
- No!
- And you will go the way of all traitors. Guards!
1355
01:23:00,720 --> 01:23:03,997
- But I have done your bidding, sire.
- Quiet! To the Tower!
1356
01:23:04,080 --> 01:23:07,072
The Tower! Not the Tower!
Anything but the Tower!
1357
01:23:07,160 --> 01:23:09,800
Oh, I beseech you from my bowels.
1358
01:23:09,880 --> 01:23:11,518
Oh, hear! Hear!
1359
01:23:11,600 --> 01:23:14,513
Would you credit it? My own Lord Chancellor!
1360
01:23:14,600 --> 01:23:16,750
I tell you, you cannot trust anyone these days.
1361
01:23:16,840 --> 01:23:18,797
How very true.
1362
01:23:18,880 --> 01:23:21,918
And now, Marie,
what were you about to tell me, huh?
1363
01:23:22,000 --> 01:23:23,957
Only that...
1364
01:23:25,000 --> 01:23:28,914
...Henry has been
a most loving and devoted husband
1365
01:23:29,000 --> 01:23:32,630
and will, I am certain, continue to be so
for the rest of our days.
1366
01:23:32,720 --> 01:23:35,189
- Right, dear?
- Yes, dear. Of course, dear.
1367
01:23:35,280 --> 01:23:40,036
And will renounce all other seasoning
and conven to the garlic? Right?
1368
01:23:40,120 --> 01:23:41,155
Naturally.
1369
01:23:41,240 --> 01:23:44,551
In that case, I can return to France reassured.
1370
01:23:44,640 --> 01:23:48,554
Good. Don't thinkthat I'm not grateful
for the concern you showed my dear wife.
1371
01:23:48,640 --> 01:23:52,793
- Ifthere's anything I can do in return?
- Oh, no, no... Oui. There is something.
1372
01:23:52,880 --> 01:23:56,760
- Name it. She'll be yours.
- Er, Marie has a lady-in-waiting,
1373
01:23:56,840 --> 01:24:00,435
Mistress Bettina, who has held my fancy.
1374
01:24:00,520 --> 01:24:03,990
- Er, no, no...
- But of course you may have her.
1375
01:24:04,080 --> 01:24:06,037
She would make an excellent queen.
1376
01:24:06,120 --> 01:24:08,077
Do you not think so, Henry?
1377
01:24:08,160 --> 01:24:11,278
Oh, no, not her. Not for a great king like Francis.
1378
01:24:11,360 --> 01:24:13,317
Do you not think so, Henry?
1379
01:24:13,400 --> 01:24:15,550
Yes, dear. Wonderful.
1380
01:24:28,080 --> 01:24:29,957
Well, goodbye, Bet.
1381
01:24:30,040 --> 01:24:34,750
Bye, Henry. Oh, isn't it exciting?
Me, Queen of France.
1382
01:24:34,840 --> 01:24:36,433
Yes, innit?
1383
01:24:36,520 --> 01:24:40,991
What a good job you found out we weren't
really married before we did anything.
1384
01:24:41,080 --> 01:24:42,195
Yes, wasn't it?
1385
01:24:44,840 --> 01:24:45,989
On avance!
1386
01:24:55,760 --> 01:24:59,276
- What I do for England.
- Your Majesty, the Queen is in labour.
1387
01:24:59,360 --> 01:25:01,510
Don't worry, they'll never get back in.
1388
01:25:01,600 --> 01:25:03,989
No, no, no, in child labour, sire.
1389
01:25:04,080 --> 01:25:05,275
Eh?
1390
01:25:05,360 --> 01:25:07,317
Blimey!
1391
01:25:13,000 --> 01:25:15,799
Where is he? l must see the little b... er, fella.
1392
01:25:26,440 --> 01:25:28,351
My son.
1393
01:25:28,440 --> 01:25:30,078
The image of you, dear.
1394
01:25:30,160 --> 01:25:32,117
Dear wife,
1395
01:25:32,200 --> 01:25:34,157
l am eternally grateful to you.
1396
01:25:34,240 --> 01:25:38,393
To show my gratitude, l shall devote
the rest of my life to you and you alone.
1397
01:25:52,080 --> 01:25:55,198
- Who's that?
- The new lady-in-waiting, sire.
1398
01:25:55,280 --> 01:25:57,476
Her name is Catherine Howard.
1399
01:25:57,560 --> 01:25:59,198
Mmmmm!
1400
01:25:59,680 --> 01:26:03,639
- What do you mean, it's all my fault?
- Well, you arranged the match with Marie.
1401
01:26:03,720 --> 01:26:06,519
- Rubbish! It was all your idea.
- It wasn't!
1402
01:26:06,600 --> 01:26:07,920
- It was!
- Liar!
1403
01:26:08,000 --> 01:26:08,956
Hypocrite!
1404
01:26:09,920 --> 01:26:12,514
Stop! Stay the execution!
1405
01:26:12,600 --> 01:26:15,240
What? Are we pardoned, sire?
1406
01:26:15,320 --> 01:26:17,516
Yes, I have urgent need of your services.
1407
01:26:17,600 --> 01:26:20,797
Oh, well, l shall only be too happy
to serve Your Majesty.
1408
01:26:20,880 --> 01:26:24,271
Me, too, sire. You've only to command.
1409
01:26:24,360 --> 01:26:26,192
I want an immediate divorce.
1410
01:26:26,280 --> 01:26:28,237
- Yes...
BOTH: What?
1411
01:26:28,320 --> 01:26:30,277
Carry on, executioner!
1412
01:26:30,360 --> 01:26:32,590
Carry on!
117397
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