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♪
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我可以告诉你一些事情吗
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你我之間♪公正？♪
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♪當我聽到你的聲音♪
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♪我知道我終於自由了♪
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♪每一個字是完美的，因為它可以♪
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♪我需要你在我身邊...♪
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這是很好的。
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MM-嗯。太讚了。
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-薩姆？-嗯，嗯？
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你有沒有...
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。號
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那是什麼戳了我的背？
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是我的電話
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放松。
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我当时想，噢，我的上帝，
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我希望他不是在试图起床这一点。
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啊。毛。
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好了，你不用说了吧这样，同性恋。
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- 它不咬人。 - 嘿！
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我们谈到了这一点。
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你不能用这个词。
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你说！
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我被允许。
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您不必對此mean之以鼻。
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好的，交换。我想成为小汤匙。
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那么这个周末你在做什么？
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情人节那天？没有。
29
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你不和加里出去吗？
30
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哦，天哪，不。
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那是男朋友/女友会做的事情。
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你知道那不是我的果酱。
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你们已经约会了三年了。
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我想你可以称他为男朋友，
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其他人都做。
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您是否要打架？
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那你呢，Samwich？
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你还好吗
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你的意思是因为这是我的第一个情人节
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沒有馬爾科姆？
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已經幾個月了。
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您準備好重新上馬了嗎？
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不會有馬
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在我不久的將來有任何形式。
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這就是為什麼我很高興能離開這裡
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幾天。
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不必去參加那些可怕的單身派對
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讓別人給我那些可怕的表情
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並嘗試讓我和一個名叫Troy的傢伙建立起來
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和德文。
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我現在還沒有為此做好準備。
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等等，你什麼意思要離開這裡？
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你要去哪
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我的朋友，凱利和克里斯？
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高中毕业他们的订婚派对。
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我们谈到了这一点。
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我意有所指阻止它。
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天哪！
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你會所有回家的路上一個訂婚派對？
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啊。你是一个好朋友。
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我是。
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说出鬼子。
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嗨！
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你好吗？
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那是什么感觉被“affianced”？
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阿菲 - 什么？
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Affianced。它意味着参与。
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哦!
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我喜欢。AF-资助。
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像，给我的钱，老公。
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不，我 -
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- 没关系。 - 这感觉太神奇了！
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我们太激动了，你回家了我们党！
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问他关于Harry。
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我要去，给我秒。
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- 问我什么？ - 他是不是要去头脑。
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听着，我们有一个小帮个忙。
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何事新娘和新郎。
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太好了 - 哦，我的上帝。
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莫非你......你不介意
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給哈利一程？
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哈利？哈利是誰？
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哈利......特平。
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哈利特平。
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哎，你不是說哈利特平？
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哈利特平誰不喜歡我嗎？
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哈利特平誰我取笑
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幾乎每天都在高中？
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是啊。
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你不是認真問我
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花9小時獨自在車上
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哈利frickin'特平，是嗎？
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没门！说没有，山姆。
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均田。
95
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这只是你们去同一所学校。
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他本来是要开车出去与他的女友，
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但我想他们分手什么的。
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- 令人震惊。 - 他没有车，
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所以他将无法前来，除非...
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- 我不知道，凯利。- 说不。
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你知道的，给我。我会告诉她。
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号停止它。停止。停止。
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我们真的希望他在那里。
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克里斯真的希望他在那里。
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请。
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嘿。
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那是什么声音？
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你在哪？
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地狱，显然。
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嗯，是的，还好。
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我会带哈利。
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哦，我的上帝！谢谢！
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告诉他我见面学生会早上7点之外尖锐。
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如果他是晚了，我向上帝发誓
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- 我要走了，不用他。 - 他会在那里。
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谢谢你，山姆。谢谢谢谢。
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- 星期六见！ - 嗯，嗯。
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哇！
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你，我的朋友，是一个医学奇迹。
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这是你可以在所有的站起来，没有像这样的脊椎一个奇迹。
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哦!
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- 一切都好？- 他不在这儿。
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真是個混蛋
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看，这就是关于哈利的东西。
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对别人不关心，
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恰恰说明了只要地狱他想。
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啊。我根本就不应该同意这一点。
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不，你真的不应该有。
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你总是可以离开。你会天经地义。
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好吧，我给他，直到7:15。
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早上7:10，你觉得我在做什么？
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噢，我的天哪，我在做梦吗？
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是的，但它的罚款。我不介意。
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- 我介意。 - 闭嘴，加里。
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没有人关心你的想法。
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告诉他我打了个招呼。
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- 加里说喜。 - 嗨，加里。
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好了，对不起，我醒你们。回去睡觉了。
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不，不，不，我会留在。
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现在还记得，
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如果他开始什么，
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任何，任何辱骂或任何东西，
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你只要拉过来
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告訴他：“滾開。”
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- 得到它了。-說吧
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- 什麼？- 實踐。我想听聽你。
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我不會...
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精細。滾出。
149
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你開玩笑的對吧？
150
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這到底是什麼命令？
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我告訴加里要比這更有力地拿起冰淇淋。
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再次。
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滾出！
154
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再次！從您那些未被充分利用的球中！
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滾出！
156
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再次！像狮子，你是！
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滚出！
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- 对不起。- 好的。
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你会没事的，宝贝，没关系。
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如果你需要我打电话给我。
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我会。再见。
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嗯。
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我说，早上7点
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尖锐。他不在这里，那不是我的错。
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而好消息是，
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我没有花9小时
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在与汽车...
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等待，嘿，嘿，嘿，不，不，不，等一下，等一下......
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......哈利特平。
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嘿! 嘿! 呦！
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谢啦。
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好吧，我知道我迟到了几分钟，但...
173
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- 尝试20. - ......不是我的错。
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看，我的室友昨晚这些杀手的玉米饼。
175
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今天早上我不得不撤离建筑物，
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如果你明白我的意思。
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它让我有点落后章附表。
178
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但我做到了。
179
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我們在這裡，回家的路上。
180
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沒有傷害，沒有犯規球。
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雖然我的球可能
182
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有點犯規，因為
183
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我沒時間洗澡，你懂我嗎？
184
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我...明白了
185
00:06:49,308 --> 00:06:52,278
哦，您介意在The Drip停留一下嗎？
186
00:06:52,278 --> 00:06:53,746
我需要一些嚴重的咖啡因
187
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如果我要成為你的好夥伴。
188
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:03,122
然後她失去了理智
189
00:07:03,122 --> 00:07:06,025
因為我忘記了我們三個月的周年紀念！
190
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我的意思是，這甚至是一件事情嗎？
191
00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:09,295
像，誰記得那樣的狗屎？
192
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我不知道，
193
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有思想的人？
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嗯
195
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當然，您說的是，您永遠不會忘記任何事情。
196
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喲，記得那一次你想起了布朗夫人
197
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我們應該進行一次生物測驗嗎？
198
00:07:19,472 --> 00:07:21,507
每個人都對你如此生氣？
199
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是的，我記得。
200
00:07:23,876 --> 00:07:26,412
因为我研究过像我们应该，
201
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我不想落后，你知道的。
202
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,783
我们在英语和社会科学的大项目。
203
00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:34,253
此外，它是第一次，你叫我“吸住萨米”
204
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所以......不是我可能会忘记。
205
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嘿，谁给你打电话“吸住萨米”？
206
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您。
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- 我？ - 是啊。
208
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- 第 - 是啊。
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没门。
210
00:07:44,096 --> 00:07:45,731
你说我做的吗？
211
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我给你的昵称？
212
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MM-嗯。
213
00:07:49,502 --> 00:07:50,703
我不这么认为，伙计。
214
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相信我，我记得。
215
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因为你叫我以后吸住萨米，
216
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戴维·格里克认为这将是有趣
217
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打电话给我吸了萨曼莎，
218
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这就是人们称我为高中这样的休息...
219
00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:03,983
我想，我记得是谁开始了。
220
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好吧，我猜。如果你這麼說。
221
00:08:09,922 --> 00:08:10,990
那是一個很好的。
222
00:08:12,124 --> 00:08:14,126
你知道嗎？我被擦了。
223
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我沒睡過三天
224
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因為學期中，所以...
225
00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:20,266
也許我們有一點安靜的時間。
226
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是的 當然可以
227
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知道了
228
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但是，我的意思是三個月的紀念日。
229
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就像，誰甚至在考慮這樣的事情。
230
00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:38,451
然後另一個女孩，我們去這個裸體海灘，對。
231
00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:41,787
Lotta schlongs，也有一些斑點。
232
00:08:41,787 --> 00:08:44,490
無論如何，所以她說我在四處張望
233
00:08:44,490 --> 00:08:47,827
而且我一直在檢查其他女孩在她身邊
234
00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:50,296
她對此感到非常不安全...
235
00:08:51,664 --> 00:08:54,300
所以我抓住她通過電話，
236
00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:56,569
最後我不得不說夠了，我出去了。
237
00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:57,904
你相信嗎，兄弟？
238
00:08:57,904 --> 00:09:00,973
我能相信你讓多名婦女瘋狂嗎
239
00:09:00,973 --> 00:09:02,742
总共精神病破发点？
240
00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:04,010
是。我可以。
241
00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:05,244
哦琦。
242
00:09:05,244 --> 00:09:07,747
- Ouch-- - 所以你只是继续前进。
243
00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:10,550
一旦它变得坚硬或怪异的，
244
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,419
你开始抓感情之前，你只螺栓。
245
00:09:13,419 --> 00:09:15,855
好吧，我 - 我不知道如果我把它完全是这样，但 -
246
00:09:15,855 --> 00:09:18,558
你花了前3个小时讲述每一个细节
247
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:21,027
你过去五年的关系，
248
00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:23,062
而最令人惊奇的是，
249
00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:24,730
在他们中的每一个单
250
00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:27,667
你这样做绝对没有错。
251
00:09:28,034 --> 00:09:29,402
但是，
252
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,337
他们都有同样的抱怨。
253
00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:34,574
你可曾想到你，也许，嗯，
254
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,075
我不知道，也许，
255
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:38,110
你有事可做发生了什么事。
256
00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:40,680
你知道吗？你也许是对的。
257
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:42,982
我的意思是，最起码，我挑了他们。
258
00:09:42,982 --> 00:09:44,850
我必须喜欢的电视剧。
259
00:09:44,850 --> 00:09:47,787
不只是女孩，我約會的最後一個傢伙完全瘋了……
260
00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:50,022
瞧，那正是我-等等，那是什麼？
261
00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:52,458
帥哥 哇...
262
00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:54,760
你是什麼意思，“傢伙”？
263
00:09:57,029 --> 00:09:59,665
就像不是一個女孩。
264
00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:03,035
我潘
265
00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:05,137
潘嗎 嗯
266
00:10:06,205 --> 00:10:09,041
你是...平底鍋嗎？這意味著什麼？
267
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:10,610
同性戀
268
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,813
我...這意味著我沒有偏好
269
00:10:13,813 --> 00:10:15,147
-就性別而言--不，不。沒有。
270
00:10:15,147 --> 00:10:16,816
不，我，我知道這意味著什麼。
271
00:10:17,583 --> 00:10:19,819
你是什麼意思
272
00:10:19,819 --> 00:10:21,988
好吧，我的意思是，我曾經稱自己為bi，
273
00:10:21,988 --> 00:10:24,924
但是有人教育我說平底鍋更具包容性
274
00:10:24,924 --> 00:10:27,226
老實說，還有更多...我。
275
00:10:27,226 --> 00:10:30,329
你知道，我很驚訝你還不知道這一點。
276
00:10:30,329 --> 00:10:32,498
我媽媽幾乎把它放在家庭聖誕節的信中
277
00:10:32,498 --> 00:10:33,733
我出來的那一年。
278
00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:35,101
但是，嘿，既然您知道了，
279
00:10:35,101 --> 00:10:36,669
也許我們可以打一些酒吧
280
00:10:36,669 --> 00:10:38,237
在Boystown聚聚。
281
00:10:38,938 --> 00:10:40,139
我的大部分男生都直了，
282
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:42,642
所以我可以使用一个很好的同志僚机。
283
00:10:44,944 --> 00:10:46,045
老兄，你好吗？
284
00:10:48,014 --> 00:10:49,015
多德？
285
00:10:55,187 --> 00:10:56,889
哇，哇，哇，哇！
286
00:11:04,463 --> 00:11:06,499
我猜一种叫做拉杆断了，
287
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,034
他们必须从汉尼拔得到一份兼职，
288
00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:09,535
所以我们得在那里过夜。
289
00:11:11,804 --> 00:11:13,639
我没事，爸爸。
290
00:11:13,639 --> 00:11:14,607
别担心。
291
00:11:15,808 --> 00:11:17,610
嗯，“怎么哈利？”
292
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:20,246
他是不同的。
293
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:22,615
他改变了很多，因为高中。
294
00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:24,216
我的寄托。
295
00:11:24,216 --> 00:11:25,651
啤酒，薯片，
296
00:11:25,651 --> 00:11:28,020
和蛋白质，牛肉干。
297
00:11:28,821 --> 00:11:30,589
这是或猫粮，所以...
298
00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:32,224
哦对不起。
299
00:11:32,224 --> 00:11:33,359
爸爸，我应该去。
300
00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:34,860
好吧，我...
301
00:11:35,327 --> 00:11:36,462
我也爱你。
302
00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:42,301
- 啤酒？ - 哦，哦。
303
00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:46,439
所以，你真的不知道吗？
304
00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:48,641
我真的没有。
305
00:11:50,076 --> 00:11:51,977
以为你有我挂在很久以前。
306
00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:53,779
我为什么要？
307
00:11:55,147 --> 00:11:57,650
我，我知道你抓住了我在你有时发呆。
308
00:11:57,650 --> 00:12:00,119
嗯，因为我以为你讨厌我！
309
00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:01,587
哦!
310
00:12:02,088 --> 00:12:03,322
一点都不。
311
00:12:04,156 --> 00:12:05,658
事实是，我很钦佩你。
312
00:12:06,592 --> 00:12:07,760
对不起。一世...
313
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,929
我甚至不知道什么how--？
314
00:12:09,929 --> 00:12:11,230
我的意思是，你出去了。
315
00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:13,165
在密蘇里州的自由。
316
00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:15,668
我，我只是...
317
00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:16,769
太害怕了
318
00:12:16,769 --> 00:12:19,305
那就是為什麼我取笑你，你知道吧？
319
00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:22,274
因為我以為如果有人
320
00:12:22,274 --> 00:12:23,976
看到我對你很好，然後...
321
00:12:23,976 --> 00:12:27,313
我會因協會而有罪，並且...
322
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:29,782
是的，我只是...
323
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:31,984
我還沒準備好。
324
00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:34,520
但這不是藉口。
325
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:35,988
我絕對不應該那樣對待你。
326
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:39,425
我是說真的，伙計。我是個傢伙。
327
00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:42,428
我真的很抱歉
328
00:12:48,901 --> 00:12:50,002
那麼，下一步是什麼呢？
329
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,104
畢業之後
330
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:54,707
好吧，我當時正在考慮去讀研究生，但是...
331
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:58,043
我不知道，我認為我需要到那裡去
332
00:12:58,043 --> 00:13:00,846
得到一些真實的經驗，所以...
333
00:13:00,846 --> 00:13:03,716
我可能只會參加本地競選。
334
00:13:04,383 --> 00:13:06,252
喜歡政治運動嗎？
335
00:13:06,252 --> 00:13:07,219
嗯
336
00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:09,789
这就是你一直在研究什么？政治？
337
00:13:10,589 --> 00:13:12,224
嗯。什么？
338
00:13:12,224 --> 00:13:13,959
我的那种惊讶。
339
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:16,929
我的意思是，你似乎是个不错的家伙，还有 -
340
00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:18,664
好男人不要去从政？
341
00:13:18,664 --> 00:13:20,266
均田。是啊。
342
00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:21,767
好了，我们需要更多的好人
343
00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:23,102
在政治上。
344
00:13:23,102 --> 00:13:26,172
否则我们永远不会解决这个混乱的世界中，我们得到了。
345
00:13:26,172 --> 00:13:28,641
嗯？你要去解决这个混乱的世界，是吧？
346
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,309
是啊。我是。
347
00:13:31,443 --> 00:13:32,478
对你有益。
348
00:13:33,112 --> 00:13:34,180
我喜欢。
349
00:13:37,349 --> 00:13:38,584
那么你呢？
350
00:13:40,786 --> 00:13:44,657
什么是未来在商店有哈利特平？
351
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:47,827
我不知道。我尽量不去想太多。
352
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,128
嗯。
353
00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:50,763
这就是为什么我需要你这样的人身边。
354
00:13:52,097 --> 00:13:53,332
跟我一样的人？
355
00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:54,733
你懂...
356
00:13:55,301 --> 00:13:56,702
驱动，
357
00:13:56,702 --> 00:13:58,771
一点点额外的。
358
00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:01,073
我没有多余的！
359
00:14:01,073 --> 00:14:03,709
老兄，你就像额外的生活定义。
360
00:14:03,709 --> 00:14:05,644
- 不！ - 男人，不管你说什么，
361
00:14:05,644 --> 00:14:07,947
七AM夏普先生。
362
00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:10,149
好的。好的。停止偏转。
363
00:14:10,149 --> 00:14:11,584
现在，我们正在谈论你。
364
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:14,954
我猜...
365
00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:17,990
我真的知道我唯一想要的是......
366
00:14:17,990 --> 00:14:19,191
一个家庭。
367
00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:20,392
要成为一个父亲。
368
00:14:22,161 --> 00:14:23,529
嗯，你呢？
369
00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:25,798
你想要孩子吗？
370
00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:26,866
我的意思是，说实话，
371
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:29,168
我想我會太害怕
372
00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:31,003
馬上把孩子帶入這個世界，
373
00:14:31,003 --> 00:14:32,905
就像氣候變化一樣
374
00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:36,175
而且，您知道的只是事物的一般狀態。
375
00:14:36,175 --> 00:14:37,209
我知道了。
376
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:39,478
我也考慮過這些東西，但是...
377
00:14:41,146 --> 00:14:43,148
我不知道，有時候你只是聽你的心
378
00:14:43,148 --> 00:14:46,752
並相信一切都會成功。
379
00:14:48,587 --> 00:14:50,322
聽你的心...
380
00:14:50,322 --> 00:14:53,425
相信，那不是我的優勢。
381
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:56,929
我想我們所有人都有一些東西要學習。
382
00:14:59,098 --> 00:15:01,166
你可以相信我，你知道。
383
00:15:03,602 --> 00:15:05,104
我可以相信一個不記得的人
384
00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:06,572
平均三個月？
385
00:15:08,507 --> 00:15:10,109
小熊還是白襪？
386
00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:11,410
還是皇家？
387
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:13,946
小熊 咄。永遠愛失敗者。
388
00:15:15,547 --> 00:15:17,249
你不能稱小熊為弱者
389
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:18,584
如果他們贏得了世界大賽。
390
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:21,253
他們吃了我整個童年的岩石。
391
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:22,922
他們有可能贏得接下來的十個世界大賽，
392
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,657
and I could still call them an underdog.
393
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,859
Wha-what was your favorite movie?
394
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:29,795
Okay, but don't laugh.
395
00:15:29,795 --> 00:15:31,130
Okay, I promise.
396
00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:35,668
Up.
397
00:15:36,368 --> 00:15:37,469
Up?
398
00:15:37,469 --> 00:15:40,572
With the, the talking dogs who fly the airplanes?
399
00:15:40,572 --> 00:15:41,640
You said you weren't gonna laugh.
400
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,842
Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I just...
401
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,145
I never would have thought that
402
00:15:46,145 --> 00:15:47,646
that you would say...
403
00:15:47,646 --> 00:15:50,249
这只是，它是电影刚开始的时候，还好，
404
00:15:50,249 --> 00:15:52,084
在这里你看到整个关系
405
00:15:52,084 --> 00:15:54,320
老人和他的妻子之间
406
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,955
然后她死了。
407
00:15:56,588 --> 00:15:57,656
只是...
408
00:15:57,656 --> 00:16:00,426
这是我第一次知道什么是爱
409
00:16:00,426 --> 00:16:03,462
和......那种爱的我想要的。
410
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,065
哇！
411
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:09,568
你是那种浪漫的，呵呵的？
412
00:16:13,772 --> 00:16:14,840
我很喜欢那部电影。
413
00:16:20,012 --> 00:16:21,146
你曾经
414
00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:23,549
和高中的任何人聯繫嗎？
415
00:16:25,117 --> 00:16:26,652
-伙計們，你的意思是？嗯
416
00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:29,421
一定不行。
417
00:16:30,422 --> 00:16:31,357
你是否？
418
00:16:31,357 --> 00:16:33,158
我曾經和Scotty Sharp碰面。
419
00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:34,493
就是這樣。
420
00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:36,829
他...很直。
421
00:16:39,198 --> 00:16:42,234
你知道我一直以為不是一點兒直率的人。
422
00:16:42,234 --> 00:16:44,303
-嗯？克里斯
423
00:16:44,303 --> 00:16:46,505
凱利的克里斯？
424
00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:48,040
不，我也是！
425
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,275
現在他和凱利訂婚了。哦!
426
00:16:50,275 --> 00:16:52,111
你知道什么是更加古怪
427
00:16:52,111 --> 00:16:53,779
不是有点同性恋的事情吗？
428
00:16:53,779 --> 00:16:57,683
他和凯利一直以来，像最好的朋友，六年级。
429
00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,518
是啊。嗯，你知道他们说什么，
430
00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:01,687
你应该嫁给你最好的朋友，所以...
431
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:04,857
我猜。但我不认为这是他们的意思。
432
00:17:05,624 --> 00:17:06,792
我不知道，我的意思是，
433
00:17:06,792 --> 00:17:09,661
我想它的优良直人，
434
00:17:09,661 --> 00:17:12,598
但一对夫妇的家伙永远无法做到这一点。
435
00:17:12,998 --> 00:17:14,033
真？
436
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,834
-你不覺得嗎？- 沒門。
437
00:17:15,834 --> 00:17:18,470
伙計們進入朋友圈後，就再也沒有離開過的機會了。
438
00:17:18,470 --> 00:17:22,174
你所希望的最好的事情是一夜可怕的性愛
439
00:17:22,174 --> 00:17:24,643
但很有可能，你會躺得很爛
440
00:17:24,643 --> 00:17:25,878
破壞友誼
441
00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:28,914
說真的，沒有辦法
442
00:17:28,914 --> 00:17:30,749
您最終不會比開始時更糟。
443
00:17:30,749 --> 00:17:32,317
您怎麼能確定？
444
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,420
我的意思是，讓我說
445
00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:37,389
我和馬爾科姆開始是朋友
446
00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:39,658
then, you know, we started dating
447
00:17:39,658 --> 00:17:41,393
and I fell in love with him,
448
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,762
uh, but we,
449
00:17:43,762 --> 00:17:46,732
we weren't having a lot of sex, you know,
450
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,567
and then I find out
451
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,536
that he's cheating on me
452
00:17:50,536 --> 00:17:52,438
with half of his improv group.
453
00:17:53,372 --> 00:17:54,840
I lost him twice,
454
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:55,974
in one night.
455
00:17:55,974 --> 00:17:57,910
I lost my boyfriend,
456
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,112
and I lost my best friend.
457
00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:03,482
I'm sorry.
458
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:06,285
你应该得到的方式比这更好的。
459
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,094
也许我应该去洗澡。
460
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,462
我散发着臭气。
461
00:18:18,697 --> 00:18:22,334
♪虽然我们在泳池边，泳池边铺设♪
462
00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:25,204
♪从太阳累了♪
463
00:18:26,538 --> 00:18:30,576
♪淡入淡出漫长的夜晚，漫长的夜晚的...♪
464
00:18:32,878 --> 00:18:35,280
如何？你还好吗？你打他？
465
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,882
不，这是，嗯...
466
00:18:36,882 --> 00:18:39,318
它实际上是非常伟大的。
467
00:18:39,318 --> 00:18:40,652
斯塔斯真的吗？
468
00:18:43,322 --> 00:18:47,526
♪我想和你花，你♪
469
00:18:47,526 --> 00:18:51,530
♪我想和你在一起，你♪
470
00:18:52,331 --> 00:18:55,667
♪只是采取一切♪
471
00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:59,338
♪只是采取一切♪
472
00:19:00,272 --> 00:19:03,509
♪只是采取一切♪
473
00:19:04,276 --> 00:19:07,346
♪只是采取一切♪
474
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:12,017
♪什么天上的死♪
475
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:16,188
♪什么时候是活着♪
476
00:19:16,188 --> 00:19:20,058
♪因为永远是你的眼睛♪
477
00:19:20,058 --> 00:19:23,428
♪但永远不是一半的时间♪
478
00:19:23,428 --> 00:19:26,999
♪我想和你花，你♪
479
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:29,535
♪我想和你花，你...♪
480
00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:30,903
吸住萨米...
481
00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:34,173
那很好笑。
482
00:20:03,001 --> 00:20:04,136
你睡得好吗？
483
00:20:04,903 --> 00:20:06,972
嗯，我是有点寂寞，但...
484
00:20:25,090 --> 00:20:26,325
一切都好吗？
485
00:20:26,325 --> 00:20:28,994
天啊，这是过去十年。
486
00:20:28,994 --> 00:20:31,597
我们也许应该，呃，叫车库。
487
00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:32,764
若见车已准备就绪。
488
00:20:32,764 --> 00:20:34,366
我的意思是，如果我们想让它回家
489
00:20:34,366 --> 00:20:35,567
赶在党。
490
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:43,108
没有太大的改变，是吧？
491
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,577
这不是真的。
492
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:47,913
还有阿普尔比在Fuddruckers曾经是。
493
00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:51,116
哦，我们在这里。
494
00:20:55,554 --> 00:20:56,855
- 嘿！聽著。-是的
495
00:20:57,289 --> 00:20:59,791
我真的很抱歉
496
00:20:59,791 --> 00:21:02,661
關於在學校裡這樣的傢伙。
497
00:21:04,229 --> 00:21:05,197
你真厲害
498
00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:08,934
所以我周一要回去。
499
00:21:09,768 --> 00:21:11,103
我當時想早點離開
500
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,504
不想趕高峰時間。
501
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:18,110
- 那是誰？-那是莉迪亞
502
00:21:18,910 --> 00:21:20,646
你的前任 她來了。
503
00:21:20,646 --> 00:21:24,049
我猜現在她更像我的前任。
504
00:21:25,217 --> 00:21:27,586
你...一起回來。
505
00:21:27,586 --> 00:21:29,955
是的，她，嗯，今天早上發短信。
506
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,757
說對不起
507
00:21:31,757 --> 00:21:33,492
她想解決這個問題
508
00:21:33,492 --> 00:21:36,395
她已經開車過來見我，所以...
509
00:21:39,898 --> 00:21:40,799
嗨寶貝。
510
00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:42,501
回學校見？
511
00:21:51,109 --> 00:21:53,512
-我想你-我也想你
512
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:03,822
所以我告訴他一切都結束了。
513
00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:05,590
你跟他分手了嗎
514
00:22:05,590 --> 00:22:08,160
分手意味著我們有一定的分手承諾，
515
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,495
我們沒有，但是是的。
516
00:22:10,495 --> 00:22:12,597
He was starting to get all needy and possessive.
517
00:22:12,597 --> 00:22:15,500
Gary... was getting possessive?
518
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:18,503
He insisted on taking me out tonight, for one thing.
519
00:22:18,503 --> 00:22:21,440
I don't think wanting to take your girlfriend of three-plus years
520
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:24,142
out on Valentine's Day qualifies as being possessive.
521
00:22:24,142 --> 00:22:25,777
He knew I had plans with you.
522
00:22:25,777 --> 00:22:27,713
What, to go to a Singles Only party?
523
00:22:27,713 --> 00:22:28,880
Yeah, exactly.
524
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:30,549
You're okay?
525
00:22:30,549 --> 00:22:31,683
Totally!
526
00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:33,185
我松了一口气，说实话。
527
00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:35,454
你了解我。关系只是不关我的事。
528
00:22:35,454 --> 00:22:36,722
除了你已经在一个
529
00:22:36,722 --> 00:22:38,690
几乎我认识你的整个时间。
530
00:22:38,690 --> 00:22:39,891
嗯。
531
00:22:58,043 --> 00:22:58,944
没关系！
532
00:22:59,311 --> 00:23:00,278
布莱恩！
533
00:23:01,079 --> 00:23:02,247
嘿姑娘！
534
00:23:02,247 --> 00:23:03,815
嘿，真正的女孩！
535
00:23:04,716 --> 00:23:05,784
嘿。
536
00:23:05,784 --> 00:23:09,654
两个独奏杯两个独奏。
537
00:23:09,988 --> 00:23:11,089
得到它。
538
00:23:11,089 --> 00:23:13,492
- 干杯，酷儿。 - 干杯！
539
00:23:15,761 --> 00:23:16,995
喔！
540
00:23:17,929 --> 00:23:19,097
大部分的帅哥都聚集
541
00:23:19,097 --> 00:23:20,899
到奇怪乒乓球台。
542
00:23:20,899 --> 00:23:23,235
这是啤酒乒乓为...你得到它。
543
00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:25,771
无论如何，这是在那里你将有好运
544
00:23:25,771 --> 00:23:28,173
除非你进女士。
545
00:23:28,173 --> 00:23:31,243
喔，只是你的基本直的女孩不幸。
546
00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:32,911
酷儿乒乓是的话。
547
00:23:32,911 --> 00:23:35,380
别担心。有大量直肉那边了。
548
00:23:35,380 --> 00:23:36,915
好了，我们走吧。来吧。
549
00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:38,283
谢谢你，布莱恩。
550
00:23:39,918 --> 00:23:43,121
因此很明显，有一个亿的单人在芝加哥，
551
00:23:43,121 --> 00:23:44,689
我仍然无法得到一个日期。
552
00:23:44,689 --> 00:23:45,724
哦，你可以得到一个日期。
553
00:23:45,724 --> 00:23:47,058
你只是太害怕去尝试。
554
00:23:47,058 --> 00:23:49,094
我不害怕，我很挑剔。
555
00:23:49,094 --> 00:23:50,595
挑剔的只是一个借口
556
00:23:50,595 --> 00:23:52,264
所以你不必把自己在那里。
557
00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:54,433
- 不对。 - 真的吗？
558
00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:56,368
好吧，那你知道嗎？我要挑選一些人，
559
00:23:56,368 --> 00:23:57,502
然後您將要與他們交談。
560
00:23:57,502 --> 00:24:00,138
很好 -哦！
561
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,608
關於什麼...
562
00:24:04,075 --> 00:24:05,177
他？
563
00:24:05,177 --> 00:24:06,878
哦，誰，大嘴鳥山姆？
564
00:24:06,878 --> 00:24:09,481
你知道他們怎麼說大鼻子。
565
00:24:09,481 --> 00:24:10,982
-大鼻屎。-gh！
566
00:24:10,982 --> 00:24:12,451
你真噁心 好的。
567
00:24:12,451 --> 00:24:15,854
精細。關於什麼...
568
00:24:16,121 --> 00:24:17,155
他。
569
00:24:17,155 --> 00:24:20,058
哦，失落的卡戴珊兄弟？
570
00:24:20,058 --> 00:24:23,428
我向你保证，他的相机辊
571
00:24:23,428 --> 00:24:26,264
自己95张％的图片。
572
00:24:26,264 --> 00:24:28,667
好，好，好挑剔先生。
573
00:24:28,667 --> 00:24:31,503
关于什么...
574
00:24:31,937 --> 00:24:33,004
工作服？
575
00:24:33,004 --> 00:24:34,739
他是完全的类型。
576
00:24:34,739 --> 00:24:37,108
老实说，有了这样的身体，
577
00:24:37,108 --> 00:24:38,443
如果他不是配不上你，
578
00:24:38,443 --> 00:24:40,345
他绝对是够用了我。
579
00:24:44,449 --> 00:24:45,851
妈的！
580
00:24:45,851 --> 00:24:47,619
- 山姆！ - 我们可以得到在这里呢？
581
00:24:47,619 --> 00:24:49,354
- Sam! - Why? Who is that? You want me to beat him up?
582
00:24:49,354 --> 00:24:51,056
- No. - Suck-up Sammy!
583
00:24:51,790 --> 00:24:53,992
- Ohh! - Oh, too late.
584
00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:56,261
What's up? How you been, man?
585
00:24:56,261 --> 00:24:59,197
Good, man! How about you?
586
00:24:59,197 --> 00:25:01,867
Uh, you know, chillin' like strawberry fillin'.
587
00:25:02,834 --> 00:25:03,869
Li-like in a doughnut.
588
00:25:03,869 --> 00:25:05,871
You know, tasty.
589
00:25:06,438 --> 00:25:08,006
I-I'm kind of wasted.
590
00:25:08,006 --> 00:25:09,174
I'm Harry, by the way.
591
00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:10,842
Oh, I know who you are.
592
00:25:10,842 --> 00:25:12,010
是啊
593
00:25:12,611 --> 00:25:14,779
好吧，恩，你是誰？
594
00:25:14,779 --> 00:25:17,449
這是Stasia，我最好的朋友。
595
00:25:17,449 --> 00:25:18,550
真好
596
00:25:20,118 --> 00:25:22,988
所以，恩，您在“單身派對”上做什麼？
597
00:25:22,988 --> 00:25:24,289
我以為你有女朋友。
598
00:25:24,289 --> 00:25:26,491
-嗯？- 你女朋友。莉迪亞
599
00:25:26,491 --> 00:25:27,959
那是她的名字吧？
600
00:25:27,959 --> 00:25:29,728
您曾與之抗爭的人，
601
00:25:29,728 --> 00:25:31,129
所以你不得不和我一起回家
602
00:25:31,129 --> 00:25:32,998
-然後你們組成了。-是的
603
00:25:32,998 --> 00:25:34,566
- 所以，你抛弃了我。 - 呃，whaa ...
604
00:25:34,566 --> 00:25:36,468
我没沟你，我的女朋友出现了。
605
00:25:36,468 --> 00:25:37,469
随你。
606
00:25:37,469 --> 00:25:39,237
我猜你们是不是还在一起，
607
00:25:39,237 --> 00:25:40,739
看到你可以不记得她的名字？
608
00:25:40,739 --> 00:25:42,641
不，呃，我们分手了
609
00:25:42,641 --> 00:25:44,576
之前，我们甚至有回到芝加哥。
610
00:25:44,576 --> 00:25:46,745
如果您不希望发短信给我回
611
00:25:46,745 --> 00:25:47,913
我们的客场之旅后，
612
00:25:47,913 --> 00:25:49,147
你可能已经知道。
613
00:25:49,581 --> 00:25:51,016
哦，嗯...
614
00:25:51,016 --> 00:25:52,717
是的，對不起，我只是...
615
00:25:52,717 --> 00:25:56,087
我回到了學校，開始上課。
616
00:25:56,087 --> 00:25:57,822
- 你了解我。- 是的，
617
00:25:57,822 --> 00:25:59,090
嗯，在林內之後...
618
00:25:59,090 --> 00:26:00,992
-莉迪亞 - 對。
619
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:04,195
莉迪亞 Lynnea來了。
620
00:26:04,195 --> 00:26:05,530
在第一個麥克之前。
621
00:26:05,530 --> 00:26:07,566
無論如何，讓我們說我只是覺得
622
00:26:07,566 --> 00:26:10,235
我參與了整個鍋的刻板印象，
623
00:26:10,235 --> 00:26:11,503
-所以我--是哪個？
624
00:26:12,537 --> 00:26:15,106
我們，你知道。。。
625
00:26:15,106 --> 00:26:18,577
“四处转转。” 是，像，称“放荡”的一个很好的方式？
626
00:26:18,577 --> 00:26:20,245
啊，来吧。
627
00:26:20,245 --> 00:26:21,413
我是一个浪漫的。
628
00:26:21,413 --> 00:26:22,781
你知道的。
629
00:26:24,115 --> 00:26:25,917
我只是在寻找先生...
630
00:26:26,518 --> 00:26:27,752
太太...
631
00:26:27,752 --> 00:26:29,154
人格权。
632
00:26:29,154 --> 00:26:31,056
卜但你知道他们说什么，
633
00:26:31,056 --> 00:26:33,124
精神错乱的定义是做同样的事情
634
00:26:33,124 --> 00:26:34,426
再三，一而再再而三
635
00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:35,860
并期待不同的结果，
636
00:26:35,860 --> 00:26:39,030
so... I decided to pull the plug,
637
00:26:39,030 --> 00:26:40,131
go full monk.
638
00:26:40,131 --> 00:26:43,001
No more dating. Totally celibate.
639
00:26:44,402 --> 00:26:46,504
You... are celibate?
640
00:26:49,474 --> 00:26:50,442
For how long?
641
00:26:51,409 --> 00:26:52,677
Okay, it's only been a couple of days.
642
00:26:53,311 --> 00:26:54,813
I'm serious about this.
643
00:26:56,247 --> 00:26:57,716
- What? - Um...
644
00:26:57,716 --> 00:26:59,317
- What? - You know what?
645
00:27:00,251 --> 00:27:02,220
- Stasia? - Oh my God!
646
00:27:02,220 --> 00:27:03,888
I'm gonna get a refill
647
00:27:04,489 --> 00:27:05,523
or some embalming fluid.
648
00:27:05,523 --> 00:27:07,659
Because that would be less strong. My God!
649
00:27:08,493 --> 00:27:09,494
Ugh!
650
00:27:12,797 --> 00:27:16,301
Okay. So if you're so serious about not dating,
651
00:27:16,301 --> 00:27:17,569
why are you at this party?
652
00:27:17,569 --> 00:27:19,771
Oh yeah, my friends dragged me.
653
00:27:19,771 --> 00:27:20,839
Oh.
654
00:27:20,839 --> 00:27:22,907
Plus I've been painting my new apartment,
655
00:27:22,907 --> 00:27:24,676
and I needed something to clean the paintbrushes.
656
00:27:28,246 --> 00:27:30,248
So, uh, what have you been up to
657
00:27:30,248 --> 00:27:32,017
since graduation?
658
00:27:32,951 --> 00:27:34,552
I'm, um...
659
00:27:35,954 --> 00:27:37,856
工作纳迪亚丘斯托。
660
00:27:39,758 --> 00:27:41,326
我要知道是谁吗？
661
00:27:41,326 --> 00:27:43,395
我不知道，你跟她约会？
662
00:27:44,529 --> 00:27:45,997
不，她竞选市长。
663
00:27:45,997 --> 00:27:47,799
她是一个，一个真正的进步，
664
00:27:47,799 --> 00:27:50,769
它是我工作的一部分，以确保你这样的人
665
00:27:50,769 --> 00:27:52,037
知道她是谁。
666
00:27:52,037 --> 00:27:54,706
所以你一样，负责公关什么的？
667
00:27:54,706 --> 00:27:56,775
呃......不，我刚刚开始。
668
00:27:56,775 --> 00:27:58,643
我是她的社区组织者之一。
669
00:27:58,643 --> 00:28:02,347
这基本上就像从志愿者一步了。
670
00:28:02,347 --> 00:28:03,782
嘿，没必要感到尴尬。
671
00:28:03,782 --> 00:28:05,517
我折叠衬衫这些天。
672
00:28:05,517 --> 00:28:07,886
嗯，这是......，嗯...
673
00:28:07,886 --> 00:28:10,488
是that--对不起，你从来没有真正告诉我你的专业。
674
00:28:10,488 --> 00:28:12,157
是IT零售
675
00:28:12,157 --> 00:28:14,793
或者，嗯...时尚？
676
00:28:15,794 --> 00:28:17,128
这很难相信吗？
677
00:28:17,128 --> 00:28:18,396
均田。
678
00:28:19,297 --> 00:28:22,067
哦，不。我，我没有时尚大。
679
00:28:22,067 --> 00:28:25,370
我学的东西比这更重要。
680
00:28:25,370 --> 00:28:26,571
- 咦？ - 营销。
681
00:28:26,571 --> 00:28:27,706
呃...
682
00:28:29,174 --> 00:28:31,242
- 什么，你来看我... - 锰锰。
683
00:28:31,242 --> 00:28:33,244
- ...先生。政治。- 一点也不。
684
00:28:33,244 --> 00:28:35,480
是啊。是啊，是啊，你是。我可以告诉。
685
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:37,215
你觉得政治是啊？
686
00:28:37,215 --> 00:28:40,685
这只是营销的同一候选人不同的方式。
687
00:28:40,685 --> 00:28:42,587
他们并不都是一样的。
688
00:28:42,587 --> 00:28:45,490
纳迪亚丘斯托希望为大家的医疗服务。
689
00:28:45,490 --> 00:28:47,826
She wants more money for public education.
690
00:28:47,826 --> 00:28:49,260
She's even looking at a plan right now
691
00:28:49,260 --> 00:28:51,029
to get cars out of the downtown core.
692
00:28:51,029 --> 00:28:52,764
Talk about a game changer!
693
00:28:52,764 --> 00:28:54,365
- Settle down, AOC. - Oh!
694
00:28:54,365 --> 00:28:55,467
I, I believe you.
695
00:29:05,510 --> 00:29:07,245
You're seriously not dating right now?
696
00:29:10,582 --> 00:29:12,517
Okay, I should probably go, uh...
697
00:29:12,517 --> 00:29:15,754
check on Stasia, make sure she's not terrorizing anyone.
698
00:29:16,421 --> 00:29:17,689
Oh, uh, okay.
699
00:29:17,689 --> 00:29:19,557
Yeah, and I'll get some more of this
700
00:29:19,557 --> 00:29:21,025
uh, you know, paintbrush cleaner.
701
00:29:21,025 --> 00:29:22,927
Yeah, I'll take another one if you're going.
702
00:29:22,927 --> 00:29:25,697
Uh, okay. Uh, yeah. Sure, I got you.
703
00:29:26,931 --> 00:29:28,032
Hurry back.
704
00:29:34,239 --> 00:29:36,141
Oh my God!
705
00:29:36,141 --> 00:29:37,475
He's adorable.
706
00:29:37,475 --> 00:29:39,811
How come in all the millions of times you've told me
707
00:29:39,811 --> 00:29:41,780
the story of the road trip from hell,
708
00:29:41,780 --> 00:29:43,648
you never mentioned how fricking hot he is.
709
00:29:43,648 --> 00:29:44,916
I don't know.
710
00:29:44,916 --> 00:29:46,618
你應該全力以赴。
711
00:29:46,618 --> 00:29:49,287
他現在不約會。
712
00:29:49,287 --> 00:29:50,421
哦拜託。
713
00:29:50,421 --> 00:29:52,657
他基本上是在求你給他一個理由
714
00:29:52,657 --> 00:29:54,325
打破貞操的誓言。
715
00:29:54,325 --> 00:29:57,495
如果我從政治中學到了一件事，
716
00:29:57,495 --> 00:29:59,998
那是你不能讓某人為你的候選人投票
717
00:29:59,998 --> 00:30:01,699
如果他們根本不參加民意調查。
718
00:30:01,699 --> 00:30:04,135
您沒有競選公職。
719
00:30:04,135 --> 00:30:05,770
您正試圖被解僱。
720
00:30:05,770 --> 00:30:08,006
你了解我。我不这样做的，
721
00:30:08,006 --> 00:30:10,875
你知道，随便一个晚上的事情非常好。
722
00:30:11,276 --> 00:30:12,577
当然。
723
00:30:12,577 --> 00:30:14,946
但你永远不会得到第二晚
724
00:30:14,946 --> 00:30:17,482
如果你不这样做的第一个，Samwich。
725
00:30:17,482 --> 00:30:20,652
现在，从这里走出去，并抛出自己
726
00:30:20,652 --> 00:30:22,654
在那个炎热的一片人，屁股
727
00:30:22,654 --> 00:30:24,923
之前，我打电话给你妈妈，告诉她你戒烟治疗。
728
00:30:26,925 --> 00:30:28,026
精细。
729
00:30:28,693 --> 00:30:29,594
等待。
730
00:30:33,031 --> 00:30:34,599
- 第No-- - 不，它的脱落。
731
00:30:34,599 --> 00:30:36,167
- 它的到来了。 - 好吧，好吧，好吧。
732
00:30:36,167 --> 00:30:38,670
♪我喜欢你说话的方式♪
733
00:30:38,670 --> 00:30:40,271
♪我喜欢你穿的东西...♪
734
00:30:40,271 --> 00:30:43,775
♪我想你的电话号码刻在了我胳膊♪
735
00:30:43,775 --> 00:30:45,276
♪在墨，我发誓♪
736
00:30:45,276 --> 00:30:47,512
♪当清晨来临”的原因♪
737
00:30:47,512 --> 00:30:49,848
♪我知道你会不会有♪
738
00:30:49,848 --> 00:30:53,451
♪每次我把你身边消失了...♪
739
00:30:53,451 --> 00:30:54,853
嘿，兄弟会桨。
740
00:30:55,787 --> 00:30:57,522
我最近单身，
741
00:30:57,522 --> 00:30:59,324
并且我会要你带我到某种
742
00:30:59,324 --> 00:31:01,326
卫生间或衣橱
743
00:31:01,326 --> 00:31:03,061
和刚刚拧我遗忘。
744
00:31:03,061 --> 00:31:06,130
没有名字，没有欲望，没有需求，
745
00:31:06,130 --> 00:31:08,867
只有两个动物会吧。
746
00:31:08,867 --> 00:31:10,768
你认为你能为我做的？
747
00:31:12,337 --> 00:31:13,438
Attaboy。
748
00:31:14,239 --> 00:31:15,974
♪我知道你会不会有♪
749
00:31:15,974 --> 00:31:20,879
♪我每次转身，你消失了...♪
750
00:31:20,879 --> 00:31:21,913
尼斯移动。
751
00:31:21,913 --> 00:31:23,081
哦耶？你喜欢？
752
00:31:23,081 --> 00:31:24,482
Yeah, sure.
753
00:31:24,482 --> 00:31:27,385
It works in a, like, is-there-an-earthquake
754
00:31:27,385 --> 00:31:29,420
or-is-he-ahead-of-his-time kinda way.
755
00:31:30,088 --> 00:31:31,990
Thanks, I think.
756
00:31:37,228 --> 00:31:38,596
Did you just...
757
00:31:38,596 --> 00:31:40,732
Are you flirting with that guy?
758
00:31:41,099 --> 00:31:42,267
What? No.
759
00:31:42,267 --> 00:31:43,268
Yes, you were.
760
00:31:43,268 --> 00:31:44,836
You just gave him one of these.
761
00:31:44,836 --> 00:31:46,237
- I-- - I mean, I get it.
762
00:31:46,237 --> 00:31:47,505
He's super hot.
763
00:31:47,505 --> 00:31:48,940
You should totally ask him out.
764
00:31:48,940 --> 00:31:50,408
那不是调情。
765
00:31:50,408 --> 00:31:51,943
你看，我不在乎。
766
00:31:51,943 --> 00:31:53,945
只要拥有了它，独身先生。
767
00:31:53,945 --> 00:31:55,313
我没有调情。
768
00:31:55,313 --> 00:31:57,515
你看，我不会打你就可以了...
769
00:31:58,449 --> 00:31:59,584
但你绝对没有。
770
00:31:59,584 --> 00:32:00,752
好吧，你表现得像个怪物。
771
00:32:00,752 --> 00:32:02,520
有什么是你想说什么呢？
772
00:32:02,921 --> 00:32:04,289
我不是一个怪胎。
773
00:32:05,023 --> 00:32:06,858
你是个怪胎。你是一个怪胎
774
00:32:06,858 --> 00:32:09,127
谁也不能保持他的马在谷仓里。
775
00:32:09,761 --> 00:32:11,062
是这样吗，格兰帕？
776
00:32:11,062 --> 00:32:13,798
好吧，至少我不怕骑马。
777
00:32:14,599 --> 00:32:16,134
- 哇！ - 嗯。
778
00:32:16,134 --> 00:32:20,338
嗯，这是不是被圈地小丑更好。
779
00:32:21,072 --> 00:32:22,073
那有什么意思？
780
00:32:22,073 --> 00:32:23,274
我想你知道。
781
00:32:23,274 --> 00:32:25,209
嘿，呃，我会得到这里走出。
782
00:32:25,209 --> 00:32:26,444
我刚刚过性行为，这家伙，
783
00:32:26,444 --> 00:32:27,912
而且他等待在浴室第二轮
784
00:32:27,912 --> 00:32:29,047
我只是没有它在我身上。
785
00:32:29,047 --> 00:32:30,415
大。我也跟。
786
00:32:30,415 --> 00:32:31,683
没有什么让我在这里。
787
00:32:31,683 --> 00:32:33,351
好见到你，哈利。
788
00:32:34,218 --> 00:32:35,954
♪我每次转身♪
789
00:32:35,954 --> 00:32:40,658
♪你消失♪
790
00:32:41,259 --> 00:32:42,727
♪我对你的爱♪
791
00:32:43,428 --> 00:32:44,562
♪我对你的爱♪
792
00:32:44,562 --> 00:32:45,730
♪很高兴见到你♪
793
00:32:45,730 --> 00:32:47,165
♪我对你的爱♪
794
00:32:49,734 --> 00:32:50,902
哦，拜托，你缺失的环节。
795
00:32:50,902 --> 00:32:53,538
嘿，我们得尽快离开。你需要做好准备。
796
00:32:53,538 --> 00:32:56,207
这是什么，黑色领带什么的？我准备好了。
797
00:32:56,207 --> 00:32:58,242
你可能会想提出一些裤子。
798
00:32:58,242 --> 00:33:00,178
嘿，你是一條毛巾。
799
00:33:00,178 --> 00:33:01,412
去準備吧
800
00:33:01,412 --> 00:33:04,015
哈里，我們都知道你們要等到最後一秒
801
00:33:04,015 --> 00:33:05,817
然後很快地撕開一些褲子，但是
802
00:33:05,817 --> 00:33:07,285
你要檢查一下頭髮
803
00:33:07,285 --> 00:33:08,453
你要花20分鐘
804
00:33:08,453 --> 00:33:10,121
使它看起來像您沒有檢查頭髮。
805
00:33:10,121 --> 00:33:11,322
所以下車吧-
806
00:33:11,322 --> 00:33:12,457
扎克，別騎我。
807
00:33:12,457 --> 00:33:14,125
我只想結束競選，好吧。
808
00:33:14,125 --> 00:33:15,326
首先...
809
00:33:16,094 --> 00:33:17,395
你希望我騎你。
810
00:33:18,763 --> 00:33:20,598
喲，當你與我同住時，我會喜歡的。
811
00:33:20,598 --> 00:33:22,000
你需要下崗。
812
00:33:22,633 --> 00:33:23,901
做好準備。現在！
813
00:33:30,375 --> 00:33:31,275
對不起，男孩。
814
00:33:31,275 --> 00:33:32,610
我們剛剛說到哪了？
815
00:33:32,610 --> 00:33:33,578
哈利！
816
00:33:33,578 --> 00:33:35,680
那又是誰組織的呢？
817
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:37,382
我的侄女。
818
00:33:37,382 --> 00:33:39,617
哦耶。它從8:00開始，對吧？
819
00:33:39,617 --> 00:33:40,852
我們應該做到。
820
00:33:41,886 --> 00:33:43,988
Sorry. It's just the campaign is really ramping up,
821
00:33:43,988 --> 00:33:45,790
what with the primaries next month.
822
00:33:45,790 --> 00:33:48,593
You know, she asked us not to be late, Sam.
823
00:33:48,593 --> 00:33:51,129
Uh, Usain Dolt, can we chill?
824
00:33:51,129 --> 00:33:52,864
Eat my dingleberries.
825
00:33:52,864 --> 00:33:54,332
That was rude!
826
00:33:54,332 --> 00:33:56,567
No, making me late for my girlfriend's trivia night,
827
00:33:56,567 --> 00:33:57,735
that's rude!
828
00:33:57,735 --> 00:34:00,071
Dude, you really need to start meditating or something.
829
00:34:00,071 --> 00:34:02,306
This kinda stress isn't good for your heart.
830
00:34:08,179 --> 00:34:09,580
看到？准时。
831
00:34:11,315 --> 00:34:12,817
她真的想，以确保我们在本周夺冠，
832
00:34:12,817 --> 00:34:14,085
所以她带来了一对夫妇铃声
833
00:34:14,085 --> 00:34:15,887
处理所有的东西，我们都不知道。
834
00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:18,156
- 像什么？ - 艺术和政治。
835
00:34:18,156 --> 00:34:19,424
- 嗯。- 等一下。
836
00:34:19,424 --> 00:34:20,825
- 他们在这儿。- 谁？
837
00:34:20,825 --> 00:34:23,094
我的叔叔保罗和他的男友山姆。
838
00:34:25,063 --> 00:34:27,398
拉屎！我们能去吗？
839
00:34:27,398 --> 00:34:29,434
- 什么？为什么？ - 这只是，嗯...
840
00:34:29,434 --> 00:34:31,936
我现在不感觉特别琐碎。
841
00:34:31,936 --> 00:34:33,271
噢，我的天哪，放松。
842
00:34:33,271 --> 00:34:34,372
来吧，萨姆。我们开工吧。
843
00:34:34,372 --> 00:34:35,907
- 嘿。 - 嘿！
844
00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:38,042
很高兴见到你。
845
00:34:38,042 --> 00:34:39,510
你还记得扎克，保罗叔叔。
846
00:34:39,510 --> 00:34:40,578
- 我当然是了。- 很高兴见到你。
847
00:34:40,578 --> 00:34:41,879
而且，嗯，这是萨姆。
848
00:34:41,879 --> 00:34:43,381
山姆，这是我的男朋友扎克。
849
00:34:43,381 --> 00:34:45,750
哦，这是哈利，他的室友。
850
00:34:46,017 --> 00:34:46,951
你好。
851
00:34:46,951 --> 00:34:50,555
好的，伙計們，我們有七個殺手er
852
00:34:50,555 --> 00:34:52,590
今晚的《死亡瑣事》。
853
00:34:52,590 --> 00:34:53,891
因此，請坐下。我們即將開始。
854
00:34:53,891 --> 00:34:56,094
是公路旅行中的哈利嗎？
855
00:34:56,627 --> 00:34:58,229
天啊。我不知道
856
00:34:58,229 --> 00:34:59,664
-對不起，寶貝 - 沒關係。
857
00:35:02,567 --> 00:35:04,102
那我妹妹好嗎
858
00:35:04,102 --> 00:35:06,170
所以你要和南希的孩子約會，對吧？
859
00:35:06,170 --> 00:35:08,473
他的名字叫保羅，謝謝，
860
00:35:08,473 --> 00:35:09,707
他真的很棒。
861
00:35:09,707 --> 00:35:12,944
我不能帮助它，如果他是超级智能
862
00:35:12,944 --> 00:35:15,613
和超帅和一个超级成功的艺术经销商。
863
00:35:17,482 --> 00:35:18,649
所以，如果我是什么？
864
00:35:19,417 --> 00:35:20,384
他约会？
865
00:35:21,085 --> 00:35:21,986
你为什么在乎？
866
00:35:21,986 --> 00:35:24,055
如果我知道你是为有钱的老家伙，
867
00:35:24,055 --> 00:35:25,623
我会向你介绍我的祖父。
868
00:35:25,623 --> 00:35:27,391
这是超级年龄歧视。
869
00:35:28,059 --> 00:35:29,393
至少我不是一个人 - 妓女。
870
00:35:29,393 --> 00:35:31,395
劳驾。我一直独身数...
871
00:35:32,830 --> 00:35:34,398
今年的日子。
872
00:35:36,267 --> 00:35:37,735
那麼，這些天你在哪里工作？
873
00:35:37,735 --> 00:35:39,070
還在折襯衫為生嗎？
874
00:35:39,070 --> 00:35:41,405
事實上，我不是。
875
00:35:41,405 --> 00:35:43,141
-真的嗎？-嗯？
876
00:35:43,141 --> 00:35:44,308
你在做什麼？
877
00:35:44,308 --> 00:35:47,512
我在電信。
878
00:35:47,512 --> 00:35:49,247
- 哦耶？嗯
879
00:35:49,247 --> 00:35:50,648
你為誰工作？
880
00:35:50,648 --> 00:35:54,252
我在碼頭的售貨亭裡賣電話。
881
00:35:54,252 --> 00:35:55,920
現在可以安靜嗎？
882
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:57,021
他們開始了。
883
00:35:57,021 --> 00:36:00,925
好的，伙計們。現在我們知道它是如何工作的，對嗎？
884
00:36:00,925 --> 00:36:03,861
第一支以正確答案敲鐘的球隊得到1分。
885
00:36:03,861 --> 00:36:05,630
在每個回合結束時，
886
00:36:05,630 --> 00:36:08,332
得分最低的團隊將被淘汰。
887
00:36:09,133 --> 00:36:10,368
問題一：
888
00:36:10,368 --> 00:36:13,171
什麼是第一個多平台
889
00:36:13,704 --> 00:36:14,772
網頁瀏覽器？
890
00:36:14,772 --> 00:36:16,107
鑲嵌。
891
00:36:16,107 --> 00:36:17,808
正確。請不要傷害自己。
892
00:36:17,808 --> 00:36:19,443
一分，五隊。
893
00:36:19,443 --> 00:36:20,611
Question two:
894
00:36:20,611 --> 00:36:22,613
what is the biggest island
895
00:36:22,613 --> 00:36:23,781
on Earth?
896
00:36:23,781 --> 00:36:25,116
Greenland.
897
00:36:25,116 --> 00:36:26,851
- Nice. - Yeah!
898
00:36:26,851 --> 00:36:28,853
Come on, everybody knows that.
899
00:36:30,221 --> 00:36:31,889
Question 32:
900
00:36:31,889 --> 00:36:34,192
what nut can you use to make an explosive?
901
00:36:34,192 --> 00:36:35,693
Peanut.
902
00:36:35,693 --> 00:36:36,694
EmceCorrect.
903
00:36:36,694 --> 00:36:38,062
Peanut-brained, am I right?
904
00:36:38,062 --> 00:36:39,997
Who was the first baseball team to win
905
00:36:39,997 --> 00:36:43,234
80年代的兩個世界冠軍獎杯？
906
00:36:44,402 --> 00:36:45,469
紅衣主教？
907
00:36:45,469 --> 00:36:47,705
不怕。其他人？
908
00:36:47,705 --> 00:36:49,140
道奇！
909
00:36:49,140 --> 00:36:50,308
這就是我們正在談論的。
910
00:36:50,308 --> 00:36:51,809
該死的，哈利！
911
00:36:51,809 --> 00:36:53,244
我以為你的小朋友
912
00:36:53,244 --> 00:36:54,245
有體育報導。
913
00:36:54,245 --> 00:36:55,813
保羅，那有點困難。
914
00:36:59,317 --> 00:37:01,485
哪個國家是第一個使用紙幣的國家？
915
00:37:01,485 --> 00:37:02,720
中國。
916
00:37:02,720 --> 00:37:04,222
- 木星。 - 乐水。
917
00:37:04,222 --> 00:37:05,823
哈库纳玛塔塔！
918
00:37:05,823 --> 00:37:07,491
亚历山大索尔仁尼琴！
919
00:37:07,491 --> 00:37:09,660
耶和华见证人。
920
00:37:09,660 --> 00:37:11,996
哦，对不起，三队。
921
00:37:11,996 --> 00:37:14,565
这是错误的，你指出来。
922
00:37:14,565 --> 00:37:15,866
好吧，伙计们，所以这意味着
923
00:37:15,866 --> 00:37:17,902
我们下到我们最后的两支球队。
924
00:37:17,902 --> 00:37:19,937
因为我们已经走的方式随着时间的推移，
925
00:37:19,937 --> 00:37:21,939
我们要猝死这位母亲！
926
00:37:21,939 --> 00:37:24,175
为胜利的一个问题。
927
00:37:24,175 --> 00:37:25,476
類別是...
928
00:37:26,110 --> 00:37:28,012
藝術史。
929
00:37:28,012 --> 00:37:31,382
好的。這位畫家的醜聞畫
930
00:37:31,382 --> 00:37:33,751
一個女人的畫像幾乎毀了他的職業生涯
931
00:37:33,751 --> 00:37:37,188
1884年在巴黎展出時。
932
00:37:39,590 --> 00:37:41,125
圖盧茲洛特雷克！
933
00:37:41,125 --> 00:37:42,860
不錯的猜測！不怕！
934
00:37:42,860 --> 00:37:45,596
五隊，您有30秒的時間給我正確的答案
935
00:37:45,596 --> 00:37:47,198
為了勝利，否則我們又去了。
936
00:37:47,198 --> 00:37:48,566
是馬蒂斯。是馬蒂斯。
937
00:37:48,566 --> 00:37:50,635
嗯，不，不是。
938
00:37:50,635 --> 00:37:51,669
这是萨金特。
939
00:37:52,270 --> 00:37:53,504
这是我的生意。
940
00:37:53,904 --> 00:37:55,106
这是马蒂斯。
941
00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:56,440
这是一幅画，他做了他的妻子。
942
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:58,843
我告诉你，这是约翰·萨金特。
943
00:37:58,843 --> 00:38:00,778
- 十夫人 - 二十秒。
944
00:38:00,778 --> 00:38:02,246
如何地狱，你知道吗？
945
00:38:02,246 --> 00:38:05,016
他还做了一堆裸体帅哥的图纸。
946
00:38:05,016 --> 00:38:07,218
我偷了一本关于他从图书馆
947
00:38:07,218 --> 00:38:08,619
所以我可以捶掉它。
948
00:38:08,619 --> 00:38:10,621
有时后我就完成，
949
00:38:10,621 --> 00:38:12,823
I would, you know, read it.
950
00:38:13,758 --> 00:38:16,227
Okay, I say we go with Uncle Paul.
951
00:38:16,227 --> 00:38:18,763
- Yeah. - Uh, no way. Harry's right.
952
00:38:18,763 --> 00:38:20,798
- Ten seconds. - I vote Harry.
953
00:38:21,932 --> 00:38:23,434
Okay, um, Sam,
954
00:38:23,434 --> 00:38:24,602
you get the deciding vote.
955
00:38:24,602 --> 00:38:26,003
Wh... uh!
956
00:38:26,003 --> 00:38:28,372
Sam, are you serious right now?
957
00:38:28,372 --> 00:38:31,108
You really think that this pair of shoulders
958
00:38:31,108 --> 00:38:32,677
knows more about art history
959
00:38:32,677 --> 00:38:33,678
than I do!
960
00:38:36,580 --> 00:38:37,682
Come on.
961
00:38:41,185 --> 00:38:42,920
哈利！我说，我们与哈里去！
962
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:44,655
约翰·辛格·萨金特！
963
00:38:45,156 --> 00:38:46,424
那是对的。
964
00:38:46,424 --> 00:38:48,159
EmceCongratulations。
965
00:38:48,159 --> 00:38:49,560
全队五人是赢家。
966
00:38:50,961 --> 00:38:52,096
啊! 一世...
967
00:38:53,364 --> 00:38:54,665
恭喜大家。
968
00:38:54,665 --> 00:38:55,900
山姆，我们走吧。
969
00:38:59,303 --> 00:39:01,038
其实，我想我会留下。
970
00:39:01,038 --> 00:39:02,006
你知道吗？
971
00:39:02,006 --> 00:39:03,708
你是个孩子！
972
00:39:03,708 --> 00:39:04,909
再见。
973
00:39:09,113 --> 00:39:10,548
My mother never liked him, anyway.
974
00:39:12,283 --> 00:39:13,184
Ohh!
975
00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:22,827
"You are a child!"
976
00:39:22,827 --> 00:39:25,196
- He's not British. - Are you sure?
977
00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:26,897
What's it say on his passport?
978
00:39:26,897 --> 00:39:27,998
Pretentious?
979
00:39:27,998 --> 00:39:29,266
Is that a nationality?
980
00:39:31,335 --> 00:39:32,970
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...
981
00:39:32,970 --> 00:39:34,839
- I know you liked him. - No,
982
00:39:34,839 --> 00:39:36,307
not really, I just...
983
00:39:36,307 --> 00:39:39,510
You know, you get what you settle for.
984
00:39:39,510 --> 00:39:41,112
You know what I mean?
985
00:39:42,079 --> 00:39:44,515
Plus his apartment was sick!
986
00:39:44,515 --> 00:39:45,649
- Was it? - Yeah.
987
00:39:45,649 --> 00:39:47,351
Anyway, you guys get a table,
988
00:39:47,351 --> 00:39:48,986
- I'm gonna say hi to Stasia. - I know. Great.
989
00:39:50,321 --> 00:39:53,023
Well, well, well, look who the hell it is.
990
00:39:53,023 --> 00:39:54,258
Mwah!
991
00:39:54,258 --> 00:39:55,760
This is a surprise.
992
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:58,329
You haven't been here once since you started dating Paul.
993
00:39:58,329 --> 00:39:59,263
Yeah.
994
00:39:59,263 --> 00:40:00,431
Well, except that one time,
995
00:40:00,431 --> 00:40:02,867
he had an allergic reaction to the soap in the bathroom
996
00:40:02,867 --> 00:40:04,101
and you had to leave.
997
00:40:04,535 --> 00:40:05,603
Yeah.
998
00:40:05,603 --> 00:40:07,338
Where is His Royal Highness?
999
00:40:08,105 --> 00:40:09,340
I think...
1000
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:11,175
that we broke up.
1001
00:40:11,909 --> 00:40:12,810
For real?
1002
00:40:14,078 --> 00:40:15,179
For real.
1003
00:40:15,579 --> 00:40:17,415
Oh, thank God!
1004
00:40:17,415 --> 00:40:18,582
Ohh!
1005
00:40:18,582 --> 00:40:21,018
I am sorry, Samwich, I hated him.
1006
00:40:21,018 --> 00:40:23,254
- I know! - He was literally the worst.
1007
00:40:23,254 --> 00:40:25,423
Well, he was great in bed.
1008
00:40:25,790 --> 00:40:26,757
He was?
1009
00:40:27,925 --> 00:40:28,826
No.
1010
00:40:31,128 --> 00:40:32,263
Hi, Nick!
1011
00:40:32,263 --> 00:40:35,966
Oh my God. He's here all the time.
1012
00:40:35,966 --> 00:40:37,268
That's so sweet.
1013
00:40:37,268 --> 00:40:39,103
It's not sweet. It's stalkery.
1014
00:40:39,103 --> 00:40:41,772
It's not stalkery when you're dating.
1015
00:40:41,772 --> 00:40:43,441
We are not dating. We're...
1016
00:40:44,275 --> 00:40:45,409
hanging out.
1017
00:40:45,409 --> 00:40:46,610
Well, you've been hanging out
1018
00:40:46,610 --> 00:40:47,645
for six months.
1019
00:40:47,645 --> 00:40:48,846
You're ridiculous.
1020
00:40:50,915 --> 00:40:52,249
Oh my God, Harry's here.
1021
00:40:52,249 --> 00:40:53,451
What is going on?
1022
00:40:53,451 --> 00:40:55,419
We ran into each other tonight.
1023
00:40:55,419 --> 00:40:57,555
It's a long story. The main thing is
1024
00:40:57,555 --> 00:40:59,623
that I realized my mistake all along
1025
00:40:59,623 --> 00:41:01,892
was thinking that we could ever be more than friends.
1026
00:41:01,892 --> 00:41:04,261
As long as we keep it
1027
00:41:04,261 --> 00:41:06,030
in the friend zone, we're good.
1028
00:41:06,931 --> 00:41:08,132
He's fun...
1029
00:41:08,132 --> 00:41:11,235
and funny, and he's actually pretty smart,
1030
00:41:11,235 --> 00:41:13,070
which for some reason, I never knew, but...
1031
00:41:13,070 --> 00:41:16,640
he's definitely not boyfriend material.
1032
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:18,342
I need someone grown up.
1033
00:41:18,342 --> 00:41:20,344
You know what I mean? And that's not Harry.
1034
00:41:21,779 --> 00:41:23,747
Okay, got it. Harry it ain't.
1035
00:41:24,348 --> 00:41:25,749
Harry it ain't.
1036
00:41:25,749 --> 00:41:28,519
Now can you do your job like a good little bar wench
1037
00:41:28,519 --> 00:41:29,854
and fetch me four beers.
1038
00:41:31,622 --> 00:41:33,224
You're so into him.
1039
00:41:33,224 --> 00:41:34,825
I am not.
1040
00:41:34,825 --> 00:41:36,093
Bro, what are you talking about?
1041
00:41:36,093 --> 00:41:37,528
Dude, you're staring at him.
1042
00:41:37,528 --> 00:41:40,097
No, I was staring in his direction
1043
00:41:40,097 --> 00:41:43,033
because I haven't seen Stasia in a while,
1044
00:41:43,033 --> 00:41:44,368
and I wanted to wave hello.
1045
00:41:44,368 --> 00:41:47,338
Which is something a Neanderthal like yourself
1046
00:41:47,338 --> 00:41:49,106
would never knew is that
1047
00:41:49,106 --> 00:41:50,474
that is the courteous thing to do.
1048
00:41:50,474 --> 00:41:53,110
Yeah, well, you've, you've always been very courteous.
1049
00:41:53,110 --> 00:41:54,612
I am.
1050
00:41:54,612 --> 00:41:57,248
Dude, you literally farted at the dinner table last night.
1051
00:41:58,282 --> 00:42:00,284
That was a medical condition.
1052
00:42:00,284 --> 00:42:02,353
Yeah. You're full of shit.
1053
00:42:02,353 --> 00:42:04,822
Just like you are now, dude. I know you.
1054
00:42:04,822 --> 00:42:06,624
Zach, shut your gob before I tell April
1055
00:42:06,624 --> 00:42:08,225
what I saw on your computer this morning.
1056
00:42:08,225 --> 00:42:09,393
What?
1057
00:42:09,393 --> 00:42:10,928
Okay, we're just friends, man.
1058
00:42:10,928 --> 00:42:13,364
Like, let it go. For real.
1059
00:42:13,364 --> 00:42:14,698
For real for real?
1060
00:42:14,698 --> 00:42:15,966
For real.
1061
00:42:15,966 --> 00:42:17,902
First round's on Stasia!
1062
00:42:18,802 --> 00:42:20,104
To celebrate my breakup.
1063
00:42:21,839 --> 00:42:22,806
Stasia.
1064
00:42:22,806 --> 00:42:24,375
- Thank you. - Mwah!
1065
00:42:24,375 --> 00:42:27,044
- See? Courteous. - Yeah.
1066
00:42:27,044 --> 00:42:29,113
- To Sam's breakup. - Hmm.
1067
00:42:29,113 --> 00:42:30,814
To Sam's breakup.
1068
00:42:30,814 --> 00:42:32,383
♪ If we never met ♪
1069
00:42:32,383 --> 00:42:36,620
♪ I'd be drunk, waking up in someone else's bed ♪
1070
00:42:37,755 --> 00:42:39,256
♪ I'd be lost in a crowded room... ♪
1071
00:42:46,430 --> 00:42:47,765
Aww!
1072
00:42:47,765 --> 00:42:48,999
Thanks, Harry.
1073
00:42:48,999 --> 00:42:51,635
♪ What if I never started singing? ♪
1074
00:42:51,635 --> 00:42:53,771
♪ What if you never ♪
1075
00:42:53,771 --> 00:42:55,940
♪ Told your family you were leaving? ♪
1076
00:42:55,940 --> 00:42:58,175
♪ When you felt the pressure ♪
1077
00:42:58,175 --> 00:43:00,511
♪ There's a million different reasons... ♪
1078
00:43:00,511 --> 00:43:02,513
Okay, one of the daughters
1079
00:43:02,513 --> 00:43:04,982
of... of the Kardashians.
1080
00:43:04,982 --> 00:43:06,951
But they don't have the same last name!
1081
00:43:08,886 --> 00:43:11,288
There's a Kardashian daughter
1082
00:43:11,288 --> 00:43:15,659
with a different...
1083
00:43:18,295 --> 00:43:21,565
♪ And baby, when I close my eyes ♪
1084
00:43:21,565 --> 00:43:22,499
♪ I'm thinkin' about ♪
1085
00:43:22,499 --> 00:43:24,068
♪ If we never met... ♪
1086
00:43:24,068 --> 00:43:26,103
...best beans in the world.
1087
00:43:26,103 --> 00:43:29,306
♪ I'd be drunk, waking up in someone else's bed ♪
1088
00:43:29,306 --> 00:43:33,310
♪ I'd be lost in a crowded room of fake friends ♪
1089
00:43:33,310 --> 00:43:35,946
♪ I wouldn't even know what love is... ♪
1090
00:43:38,282 --> 00:43:40,284
Harry, stop it.
1091
00:43:40,284 --> 00:43:41,952
All right, enough pouting, let's go.
1092
00:43:42,653 --> 00:43:43,988
All right, dude, are you serious?
1093
00:43:43,988 --> 00:43:45,089
Okay, no, leave it.
1094
00:43:45,089 --> 00:43:46,256
Leave it as a tip. Come on.
1095
00:43:46,256 --> 00:43:47,257
Just drop it. Yep.
1096
00:43:47,257 --> 00:43:48,559
- Thank you. - Let's go.
1097
00:43:48,559 --> 00:43:51,528
So that's why the fat lady sings.
1098
00:43:53,263 --> 00:43:55,532
- I don't get it. - It's because she's...
1099
00:43:55,532 --> 00:43:57,801
Because she's happy about all the sex.
1100
00:44:00,337 --> 00:44:03,040
- That's good! - Okay. Yeah, yeah, got it.
1101
00:44:05,342 --> 00:44:06,810
- Oh wait, hold on. - Oh.
1102
00:44:06,810 --> 00:44:08,078
- Eyelash. - Oh.
1103
00:44:10,748 --> 00:44:11,849
Make a wish.
1104
00:44:12,583 --> 00:44:13,651
Um...
1105
00:44:15,486 --> 00:44:17,488
♪ If we never met... ♪
1106
00:44:19,523 --> 00:44:20,557
I gotta pee.
1107
00:44:22,860 --> 00:44:25,262
♪ I'd be lost in a crowded room of fake friends... ♪
1108
00:44:32,670 --> 00:44:35,339
Hey, thanks for helping out at Pride today.
1109
00:44:35,339 --> 00:44:36,440
You were great.
1110
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:38,008
We got a lot of voters signed up.
1111
00:44:38,008 --> 00:44:40,110
Oh yeah, you can't say no to Sam, right?
1112
00:44:41,145 --> 00:44:42,212
Speaking of Sam,
1113
00:44:42,212 --> 00:44:43,614
are you guys like a thing?
1114
00:44:43,614 --> 00:44:45,516
Like, a, a couple?
1115
00:44:45,516 --> 00:44:47,351
- Me and Sam? - Yeah.
1116
00:44:47,351 --> 00:44:50,954
Uh... no, no, we're just friends, but--
1117
00:44:50,954 --> 00:44:53,557
Okay, cool, would you happen to know if he's seeing anybody?
1118
00:44:56,193 --> 00:44:59,063
Uh, if Sam is seeing anyone?
1119
00:45:02,332 --> 00:45:05,002
Uh, no. He's, he's not.
1120
00:45:05,002 --> 00:45:06,470
You know, I just wanted to make sure
1121
00:45:06,470 --> 00:45:07,571
before I ask him out.
1122
00:45:07,571 --> 00:45:10,541
Yeah, uh, I mean, you should definitely do that.
1123
00:45:11,308 --> 00:45:13,644
But you should know that he's...
1124
00:45:14,878 --> 00:45:16,080
he's pretty much straight.
1125
00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:17,247
Here we go!
1126
00:45:21,885 --> 00:45:23,253
He's s-straight?
1127
00:45:23,754 --> 00:45:24,788
Really?
1128
00:45:26,156 --> 00:45:27,958
Wow, did not see that coming.
1129
00:45:27,958 --> 00:45:30,994
♪ Everybody needs somebody ♪
1130
00:45:32,262 --> 00:45:34,998
♪ We can't make it on our own ♪
1131
00:45:36,066 --> 00:45:38,635
♪ Turnin' up late at the party ♪
1132
00:45:38,635 --> 00:45:41,238
♪ Ain't goin' home ♪
1133
00:45:42,539 --> 00:45:44,675
♪ Let me take you there ♪
1134
00:45:50,114 --> 00:45:51,648
♪ Let me take you there ♪
1135
00:45:54,418 --> 00:45:56,587
Hey, Sam, let's go have another drink, all right.
1136
00:45:56,587 --> 00:45:57,921
I don't think I can.
1137
00:45:57,921 --> 00:46:00,090
I am o-blitch-erated.
1138
00:46:00,090 --> 00:46:01,525
We're gonna get another drink, all right.
1139
00:46:01,525 --> 00:46:03,360
Get it, bitches! Whoo!
1140
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:06,864
♪ Oh, come on, stay the night, yeah ♪
1141
00:46:06,864 --> 00:46:08,031
♪ Stay the night, yeah ♪
1142
00:46:08,031 --> 00:46:10,901
Hey, two, two tequila shots and a couple beers.
1143
00:46:10,901 --> 00:46:12,669
Shots? Harry, no!
1144
00:46:16,240 --> 00:46:17,274
Bottoms up.
1145
00:46:17,274 --> 00:46:19,243
Tops, too! Don't be bottomist.
1146
00:46:20,377 --> 00:46:23,847
Happy Pride, Chicago!
1147
00:46:24,748 --> 00:46:26,750
How is everybody feeling tonight?
1148
00:46:28,452 --> 00:46:30,621
Can you feel the love?
1149
00:46:30,621 --> 00:46:33,257
'Cause that's what it's all about, right? Love.
1150
00:46:33,257 --> 00:46:35,759
Everybody wants it. Everybody needs it.
1151
00:46:35,759 --> 00:46:38,228
So why aren't we giving it away?
1152
00:46:38,228 --> 00:46:39,596
Whoo!
1153
00:46:39,596 --> 00:46:40,564
What are you waiting for?
1154
00:46:40,564 --> 00:46:42,332
Find you some love tonight.
1155
00:46:42,332 --> 00:46:44,434
Or at least get you some ass.
1156
00:46:51,441 --> 00:46:52,476
What?
1157
00:46:55,145 --> 00:46:57,381
S-so did you mean that thing you said?
1158
00:46:57,381 --> 00:47:00,851
About how when guys become friends,
1159
00:47:00,851 --> 00:47:02,553
they can never be anything more than that?
1160
00:47:03,253 --> 00:47:05,489
One billion percent.
1161
00:47:05,489 --> 00:47:07,624
You either end up having bad sex
1162
00:47:07,624 --> 00:47:09,860
or ruining the friendship, or both.
1163
00:47:09,860 --> 00:47:11,361
And there's no exceptions?
1164
00:47:11,361 --> 00:47:13,263
Like, ever?
1165
00:47:14,164 --> 00:47:16,233
None. Zero.
1166
00:47:17,434 --> 00:47:18,769
No even for...
1167
00:47:20,270 --> 00:47:21,505
you and me?
1168
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:25,209
Not even you and me.
1169
00:47:27,044 --> 00:47:30,013
Like I'm going to date the guy who bails on relationship
1170
00:47:30,013 --> 00:47:32,683
faster than my parents' dog eats cat poop.
1171
00:47:35,786 --> 00:47:38,555
Oh my God, I love this song!
1172
00:47:38,555 --> 00:47:41,859
Whoo!
1173
00:47:42,492 --> 00:47:44,628
♪ I want you ♪
1174
00:47:46,330 --> 00:47:47,998
♪ Baby, be mine ♪
1175
00:47:47,998 --> 00:47:50,968
♪ Won't you be mine? ♪
1176
00:47:50,968 --> 00:47:52,536
♪ Wanna make you mine, boy ♪
1177
00:47:54,738 --> 00:47:56,940
♪ Tell me now what can I do... ♪
1178
00:47:56,940 --> 00:47:58,775
I'm gonna go find my friends!
1179
00:47:59,243 --> 00:48:00,444
Happy Pride!
1180
00:48:02,079 --> 00:48:05,716
♪ What can I do? What can I do? ♪
1181
00:48:05,716 --> 00:48:09,753
♪ What can I do to make you my lover? ♪
1182
00:48:09,753 --> 00:48:12,489
♪ What can I do? What can I do? ♪
1183
00:48:18,829 --> 00:48:20,931
Damn, Stasia,
1184
00:48:20,931 --> 00:48:22,966
leave it to you to find the only straight guy ...
1185
00:48:42,352 --> 00:48:45,122
♪ Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, ♪
1186
00:48:45,122 --> 00:48:46,123
♪ Kiss my lips ♪
1187
00:48:54,765 --> 00:48:57,534
Um, when did you become the world's laziest roommate?
1188
00:48:58,602 --> 00:48:59,836
Don't worry. I'll get it.
1189
00:48:59,836 --> 00:49:01,805
Oh. Harry's here.
1190
00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:05,475
- Hi, Harry. - Hey.
1191
00:49:05,475 --> 00:49:06,843
- How're you doing? - What's up?
1192
00:49:11,214 --> 00:49:12,282
Hey, Samwich!
1193
00:49:19,823 --> 00:49:20,791
What?
1194
00:49:20,791 --> 00:49:24,027
You never call me that. That's Stasia's name for me.
1195
00:49:25,429 --> 00:49:26,730
- Oh, is it? - Hmm.
1196
00:49:27,798 --> 00:49:29,533
Heh. I guess it is.
1197
00:49:32,269 --> 00:49:33,337
Those donuts?
1198
00:49:50,187 --> 00:49:51,488
Is Harry here?
1199
00:49:52,856 --> 00:49:54,858
I thought he was up there. With you.
1200
00:49:58,095 --> 00:49:59,162
Huh.
1201
00:50:00,597 --> 00:50:01,598
Whatcha playin'?
1202
00:50:01,598 --> 00:50:02,966
Crackdown 3.
1203
00:50:02,966 --> 00:50:04,334
Oh, I love that game!
1204
00:50:06,103 --> 00:50:07,204
Let's get it, girl!
1205
00:50:12,376 --> 00:50:13,276
So listen,
1206
00:50:13,276 --> 00:50:15,178
can I tell you something?
1207
00:50:15,178 --> 00:50:16,747
Oh yeah? What's that?
1208
00:50:17,314 --> 00:50:18,615
It's, it's nothing bad.
1209
00:50:18,615 --> 00:50:20,450
Oh, I didn't think it was...
1210
00:50:21,685 --> 00:50:24,187
Good. I just, whenever anyone says,
1211
00:50:24,187 --> 00:50:26,623
"We need to talk," it's usually something bad, so...
1212
00:50:26,623 --> 00:50:28,225
Oh, well, you didn't.
1213
00:50:28,225 --> 00:50:29,226
What?
1214
00:50:29,226 --> 00:50:30,827
You didn't say, "We need to talk."
1215
00:50:30,827 --> 00:50:32,362
You said, "I have to tell you something."
1216
00:50:34,164 --> 00:50:35,699
Oh, I, I...
1217
00:50:36,366 --> 00:50:37,701
Yes, I did.
1218
00:50:41,204 --> 00:50:42,406
So?
1219
00:50:44,641 --> 00:50:47,911
So, uh, Stasia and I...
1220
00:50:48,578 --> 00:50:50,814
kinda made out last night.
1221
00:50:50,814 --> 00:50:52,082
Oh wow!
1222
00:50:52,082 --> 00:50:53,350
That's... Ooh.
1223
00:50:53,350 --> 00:50:56,019
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. At, uh, Pride.
1224
00:50:56,019 --> 00:50:57,587
- Hmm. - I hope that's okay.
1225
00:50:57,587 --> 00:50:59,156
Yeah, why wouldn't it be?
1226
00:51:00,090 --> 00:51:01,124
Right.
1227
00:51:01,124 --> 00:51:03,560
I mean, I, I told Stasia that,
1228
00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:05,762
but she kinda got in my head a little bit.
1229
00:51:05,762 --> 00:51:08,565
So I, uh, snuck out as soon as I woke up this morning.
1230
00:51:11,268 --> 00:51:12,769
You snuck out of where?
1231
00:51:15,205 --> 00:51:16,640
My bedroom?
1232
00:51:18,708 --> 00:51:19,776
So...
1233
00:51:19,776 --> 00:51:22,345
you and Harry have a good time last night?
1234
00:51:23,447 --> 00:51:25,315
As a matter of fact, we did. Why?
1235
00:51:25,715 --> 00:51:26,883
No reason.
1236
00:51:26,883 --> 00:51:29,786
Just, uh... I'm glad it was a fun time
1237
00:51:29,786 --> 00:51:32,155
if you're both gonna ruin your relationships with Sam.
1238
00:51:33,423 --> 00:51:35,659
We didn't. Sam's not gonna care.
1239
00:51:35,659 --> 00:51:37,561
I mean, Sam's not into Harry that way.
1240
00:51:37,561 --> 00:51:40,464
He said so. Like... multiple times.
1241
00:51:40,764 --> 00:51:41,932
Okay.
1242
00:51:43,066 --> 00:51:44,134
What?
1243
00:51:45,235 --> 00:51:46,837
You think he's gonna be weird?
1244
00:51:49,906 --> 00:51:52,609
Stasia... spent the night?
1245
00:51:53,043 --> 00:51:54,277
Uh... yeah.
1246
00:51:54,277 --> 00:51:55,679
- And you guys... - Uh-huh.
1247
00:51:57,714 --> 00:51:58,715
Cool.
1248
00:52:01,251 --> 00:52:04,488
What, you couldn't find any other randos to hook up with?
1249
00:52:04,488 --> 00:52:05,922
So you had to start poaching from the home team?
1250
00:52:05,922 --> 00:52:10,760
It wasn't like another one-night stand or anything like that.
1251
00:52:10,760 --> 00:52:12,762
No, we didn't just smash and dash, you know.
1252
00:52:12,762 --> 00:52:15,298
We didn't just sleep together, Zach. Okay.
1253
00:52:15,298 --> 00:52:17,734
We actually like each other, all right.
1254
00:52:17,734 --> 00:52:19,803
That's... great!
1255
00:52:19,803 --> 00:52:21,838
Yeah, she's really funny
1256
00:52:21,838 --> 00:52:23,406
an-an-and fun.
1257
00:52:23,406 --> 00:52:25,008
He's actually really smart.
1258
00:52:25,008 --> 00:52:27,577
- Really smart? - You know, and he's not all clingy--
1259
00:52:27,577 --> 00:52:29,646
An-and she's so, you know...
1260
00:52:30,113 --> 00:52:31,348
her own person.
1261
00:52:31,915 --> 00:52:32,983
Like you.
1262
00:52:34,317 --> 00:52:36,086
I woke up this morning, and he wasn't even there.
1263
00:52:36,086 --> 00:52:37,354
And you liked that?
1264
00:52:39,022 --> 00:52:41,491
- Maybe you two are perfect for each other. - Right?
1265
00:52:42,459 --> 00:52:44,027
I mean, how crazy would it be.
1266
00:52:44,027 --> 00:52:46,596
If your two best friends
1267
00:52:46,596 --> 00:52:48,765
became, like, a couple.
1268
00:52:51,201 --> 00:52:52,469
A couple.
1269
00:52:52,469 --> 00:52:54,004
That would be crazy.
1270
00:52:57,274 --> 00:53:00,544
Well, I, I should probably get back to Stasia.
1271
00:53:00,544 --> 00:53:01,912
She's gonna wonder where I am.
1272
00:53:03,146 --> 00:53:04,648
Maybe I should take those.
1273
00:53:04,648 --> 00:53:07,150
I could tell her I went to get donuts.
1274
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:12,289
Yeah.
1275
00:53:18,962 --> 00:53:19,963
I love you, man.
1276
00:53:21,231 --> 00:53:22,232
I love you too.
1277
00:53:42,219 --> 00:53:43,320
Who wants mimosas?
1278
00:53:43,320 --> 00:53:44,421
Me!
1279
00:53:47,390 --> 00:53:48,858
I heard you got a new job?
1280
00:53:48,858 --> 00:53:50,994
Yes! Finally! No more bartending!
1281
00:53:56,199 --> 00:53:57,467
So what is it?
1282
00:53:57,467 --> 00:54:01,438
Oh, uh, I'm working for Windy City Beat,
1283
00:54:01,438 --> 00:54:03,173
doing all their, like, alt events and stuff.
1284
00:54:03,573 --> 00:54:04,774
Oh great.
1285
00:54:04,774 --> 00:54:06,243
Yeah, they wanted someone to curate a bunch
1286
00:54:06,243 --> 00:54:08,511
of cool, non-touristy stuff every week, so...
1287
00:54:09,279 --> 00:54:10,680
Sounds perfect for you.
1288
00:54:10,680 --> 00:54:11,848
It is!
1289
00:54:13,416 --> 00:54:15,285
And what about you? You still working down at the Pier?
1290
00:54:15,285 --> 00:54:17,821
Uh, no. God, no, um...
1291
00:54:17,821 --> 00:54:21,825
Actually, Stasia got me a job bar-backing at G and O.
1292
00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:25,428
Wow, nice.
1293
00:54:26,463 --> 00:54:28,598
Yeah, but then she up and left me, so...
1294
00:54:28,598 --> 00:54:29,833
I up and left him.
1295
00:54:30,934 --> 00:54:32,302
Aw, so sad.
1296
00:54:32,302 --> 00:54:34,604
Uh, waitress! Uh, we're gonna need a lot more alcohol,
1297
00:54:34,604 --> 00:54:36,306
like, right now.
1298
00:54:36,306 --> 00:54:38,375
- Thanks. - Oh my God, Zach.
1299
00:54:38,375 --> 00:54:39,843
- Ha ha ha! - So stupid.
1300
00:54:51,988 --> 00:54:54,224
And I knew he was lying.
1301
00:54:54,224 --> 00:54:58,395
Who would have improv rehearsal after midnight?
1302
00:54:59,329 --> 00:55:02,165
A lying liar, that's who.
1303
00:55:02,165 --> 00:55:04,934
But Malcolm, he would never admit
1304
00:55:04,934 --> 00:55:06,503
that anything was going on.
1305
00:55:06,503 --> 00:55:07,804
No, no, no.
1306
00:55:07,804 --> 00:55:09,272
Not me, he said.
1307
00:55:09,272 --> 00:55:12,776
I would never sleep with Doug or Eddie.
1308
00:55:12,776 --> 00:55:13,843
Sam.
1309
00:55:13,843 --> 00:55:15,945
Why are you talking about this?
1310
00:55:15,945 --> 00:55:17,514
This happened a long time ago.
1311
00:55:19,115 --> 00:55:20,483
And then...
1312
00:55:20,483 --> 00:55:23,086
I came home early one day
1313
00:55:23,086 --> 00:55:24,421
and I caught him
1314
00:55:24,421 --> 00:55:27,123
in the shower with Doug.
1315
00:55:27,123 --> 00:55:28,491
And Eddie.
1316
00:55:28,491 --> 00:55:30,026
There he was.
1317
00:55:30,026 --> 00:55:31,528
Malcolm in the Middle.
1318
00:55:33,096 --> 00:55:34,331
You know what I mean?
1319
00:55:36,466 --> 00:55:37,567
But it's okay.
1320
00:55:38,168 --> 00:55:40,503
Just... you gotta move on.
1321
00:55:41,604 --> 00:55:42,672
Like Harry.
1322
00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:45,542
Harry moves on all the time.
1323
00:55:45,542 --> 00:55:47,010
That's what he does.
1324
00:55:48,278 --> 00:55:49,579
Whenever things get...
1325
00:55:51,348 --> 00:55:53,116
hairy.
1326
00:55:53,116 --> 00:55:54,351
Get it?
1327
00:55:54,351 --> 00:55:57,287
As soon as things get hard,
1328
00:55:57,287 --> 00:55:58,621
Harry just
1329
00:55:58,621 --> 00:56:00,056
cuts and runs, you know.
1330
00:56:00,056 --> 00:56:02,859
That's just the thing about Harry.
1331
00:56:03,827 --> 00:56:05,161
Cut and run.
1332
00:56:05,161 --> 00:56:06,329
Just for fun.
1333
00:56:06,329 --> 00:56:08,031
- Harry's my name. - Sam.
1334
00:56:08,031 --> 00:56:09,299
That's my game.
1335
00:56:09,299 --> 00:56:10,367
Sam.
1336
00:56:10,367 --> 00:56:12,435
But when he does that,
1337
00:56:13,303 --> 00:56:14,371
I'll be here.
1338
00:56:14,871 --> 00:56:15,905
For you.
1339
00:56:16,473 --> 00:56:17,640
Stasia.
1340
00:56:18,742 --> 00:56:20,310
Anastasia.
1341
00:56:21,711 --> 00:56:23,713
Anaphylaxis.
1342
00:56:25,248 --> 00:56:27,083
See, now that's a good drag name,
1343
00:56:27,083 --> 00:56:28,318
Ana Phylaxis.
1344
00:56:28,318 --> 00:56:30,754
One bite and she'll kill you.
1345
00:56:33,256 --> 00:56:36,826
Oh see. Look, she's in anaphylaxis shock!
1346
00:56:40,063 --> 00:56:41,431
You're an asshole.
1347
00:56:42,766 --> 00:56:44,000
Oh!
1348
00:56:45,602 --> 00:56:46,903
Thanks, man.
1349
00:57:27,877 --> 00:57:30,313
Am I to surmise from the fact that you're sitting here in the dark
1350
00:57:30,313 --> 00:57:32,715
that brunch did not go quite as you might have liked.
1351
00:57:32,715 --> 00:57:35,819
There have been funerals for children
1352
00:57:35,819 --> 00:57:37,620
- that aren't as awful as that brunch was. - Oh!
1353
00:57:37,620 --> 00:57:40,323
Oh my God, I'm sorry.
1354
00:57:40,990 --> 00:57:42,992
Well, at least you did it.
1355
00:57:44,260 --> 00:57:45,562
Good for you.
1356
00:57:45,929 --> 00:57:47,130
Good for me.
1357
00:57:50,300 --> 00:57:52,168
Hey, have you heard of, um,
1358
00:57:52,168 --> 00:57:54,671
of that new gay dating app?
1359
00:57:54,671 --> 00:57:57,140
Buff or Gruff or...
1360
00:57:58,241 --> 00:57:59,209
No.
1361
00:57:59,209 --> 00:58:00,977
Why, are you leaving Eddie?
1362
00:58:00,977 --> 00:58:02,779
Looking to spice things up?
1363
00:58:02,779 --> 00:58:04,881
No, dumbass. For you.
1364
00:58:04,881 --> 00:58:07,250
I'm not signing up for some--
1365
00:58:07,250 --> 00:58:09,118
Look, it doesn't have to be that,
1366
00:58:09,118 --> 00:58:11,955
but I did not March on Washington
1367
00:58:11,955 --> 00:58:14,624
and Act-up and Fight AIDS for all of those years
1368
00:58:14,624 --> 00:58:16,993
so that you could waste your life,
1369
00:58:16,993 --> 00:58:19,329
locked in that malodorous bedroom,
1370
00:58:19,329 --> 00:58:21,931
furiously masturbating to what can only be described
1371
00:58:21,931 --> 00:58:24,767
as moderately shameful amateur pornography.
1372
00:58:24,767 --> 00:58:26,936
And listen, if you want some privacy,
1373
00:58:26,936 --> 00:58:28,505
you need to invest in headphones.
1374
00:58:29,272 --> 00:58:31,574
But I'm worried about your health.
1375
00:58:31,574 --> 00:58:34,110
I mean, my God, your poor bologna pony
1376
00:58:34,110 --> 00:58:35,211
must need a break.
1377
00:58:35,211 --> 00:58:36,179
Is it, is it bruised?
1378
00:58:36,179 --> 00:58:37,981
- Or chafed? - Okay.
1379
00:58:37,981 --> 00:58:39,382
Does it need arnica ointment--
1380
00:58:39,382 --> 00:58:43,453
Okay, I will do... something.
1381
00:58:43,453 --> 00:58:45,455
Just please stop talking about my penis.
1382
00:58:45,455 --> 00:58:46,756
Fine.
1383
00:58:50,126 --> 00:58:51,861
You deserve someone to love, you know.
1384
00:58:54,464 --> 00:58:55,732
And someone to love you.
1385
00:58:57,534 --> 00:58:59,302
And seriously, if you need arnica,
1386
00:58:59,302 --> 00:59:00,637
I have some right upstairs.
1387
00:59:00,637 --> 00:59:01,871
Go!
1388
00:59:02,572 --> 00:59:03,606
All right.
1389
00:59:05,074 --> 00:59:06,209
But do the dating app.
1390
00:59:06,576 --> 00:59:07,644
One date.
1391
00:59:07,644 --> 00:59:09,579
Or else I'm raising your rent.
1392
00:59:18,421 --> 00:59:19,956
Let's meet at Em's.
1393
00:59:19,956 --> 00:59:22,191
I'll be in the fourth booth from the door,
1394
00:59:22,191 --> 00:59:23,693
wearing a green polo.
1395
00:59:23,693 --> 00:59:24,827
A blue polo.
1396
00:59:24,827 --> 00:59:26,062
A lime polo.
1397
00:59:26,062 --> 00:59:27,463
A burnt orange polo.
1398
00:59:27,463 --> 00:59:30,667
We can check each other out and have a drink.
1399
00:59:30,667 --> 00:59:32,835
And if we both agree that the first drink goes well, well,
1400
00:59:32,835 --> 00:59:34,537
we can take it from there.
1401
00:59:34,537 --> 00:59:35,505
Hey.
1402
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:38,508
Oh!
1403
00:59:39,742 --> 00:59:41,711
Sorry, I, uh, I think I'm having
1404
00:59:41,711 --> 00:59:42,845
an allergic reaction
1405
00:59:42,845 --> 00:59:45,181
to... something.
1406
00:59:46,282 --> 00:59:49,185
Listen, may be better we just call it a night.
1407
00:59:54,023 --> 00:59:56,025
So, now I'm on my third race for alderman.
1408
00:59:56,025 --> 00:59:58,294
I mostly do volunteer coordination,
1409
00:59:58,294 --> 00:59:59,729
get out the vote, stuff like that.
1410
00:59:59,729 --> 01:00:01,030
I work in politics too!
1411
01:00:01,030 --> 01:00:03,533
- No way. - Well, I used to.
1412
01:00:03,533 --> 01:00:05,868
Now I just help run the Obamas' local foundation.
1413
01:00:07,870 --> 01:00:09,272
You wanna get outta here?
1414
01:00:14,277 --> 01:00:16,646
♪ I've been thinking 'bout you ♪
1415
01:00:18,781 --> 01:00:21,884
♪ Wondering who's stuck in your head at night... ♪
1416
01:00:22,619 --> 01:00:23,786
And I'm a Cubs guy.
1417
01:00:23,786 --> 01:00:25,421
I mean, you gotta pull for the underdogs, right?
1418
01:00:25,421 --> 01:00:27,023
That's what I always say.
1419
01:00:29,325 --> 01:00:30,426
Uh, ow.
1420
01:00:30,426 --> 01:00:31,928
Sorry, you, uh...
1421
01:00:31,928 --> 01:00:33,229
you had something in your hair.
1422
01:00:33,229 --> 01:00:35,598
- Oh, thanks. - You were saying.
1423
01:00:35,598 --> 01:00:36,699
Oh yeah.
1424
01:00:37,133 --> 01:00:38,468
I like you.
1425
01:00:38,468 --> 01:00:39,602
A lot.
1426
01:00:39,602 --> 01:00:41,104
I don't like to take things too fast
1427
01:00:41,104 --> 01:00:43,773
- before we talk about monogamy. - Yeah, no worries.
1428
01:00:43,773 --> 01:00:45,742
- It's just really not my thing. - Once we get serious, I'm super faithful.
1429
01:00:48,478 --> 01:00:49,545
Oh!
1430
01:00:50,747 --> 01:00:53,316
♪ Early in the morning ♪
1431
01:00:54,684 --> 01:00:57,020
♪ Think about you all day... ♪
1432
01:00:59,856 --> 01:01:00,823
Nice to meet you.
1433
01:01:00,823 --> 01:01:02,425
It's nice to meet you too.
1434
01:01:02,425 --> 01:01:05,461
I've been on a few messy ones of these,
1435
01:01:05,461 --> 01:01:08,164
so it's nice to meet someone cool.
1436
01:01:08,798 --> 01:01:10,867
You are really handsome.
1437
01:01:12,035 --> 01:01:13,336
Wow, thanks.
1438
01:01:14,270 --> 01:01:15,238
Back at ya.
1439
01:01:15,238 --> 01:01:18,241
I'm sorry. I don't think I ever got your name?
1440
01:01:18,775 --> 01:01:19,876
I'm Sam.
1441
01:01:20,276 --> 01:01:21,210
How about you?
1442
01:01:21,611 --> 01:01:22,512
I'm Harry.
1443
01:01:22,979 --> 01:01:24,113
I gotta go.
1444
01:01:41,631 --> 01:01:42,598
You're home?
1445
01:01:42,598 --> 01:01:43,933
How was it?
1446
01:01:45,034 --> 01:01:47,036
- Not for me. - Why not?
1447
01:01:47,804 --> 01:01:48,871
Just wasn't.
1448
01:01:50,406 --> 01:01:53,142
You keep finding problems with everyone.
1449
01:01:53,142 --> 01:01:55,144
They can't all be the wrong guy.
1450
01:01:55,144 --> 01:01:57,480
What was he? Stinky? Wiggy?
1451
01:01:57,480 --> 01:01:59,048
Non-monogamy-y?
1452
01:01:59,048 --> 01:02:00,116
No.
1453
01:02:01,718 --> 01:02:02,719
Harry.
1454
01:02:02,719 --> 01:02:05,054
Like, super hairy?
1455
01:02:05,054 --> 01:02:06,622
- Uhh... - Like, fuzzy all over?
1456
01:02:06,622 --> 01:02:08,558
You know, I used to date this total sasquatch.
1457
01:02:08,558 --> 01:02:10,927
Loved it. Never needed a blanket.
1458
01:02:10,927 --> 01:02:13,262
No. He was great.
1459
01:02:13,262 --> 01:02:16,332
Smart, funny, handsome.
1460
01:02:16,332 --> 01:02:18,534
Moderately hirsute.
1461
01:02:18,534 --> 01:02:19,836
So?
1462
01:02:20,703 --> 01:02:23,005
His name was Harry.
1463
01:02:23,339 --> 01:02:24,340
Oh.
1464
01:02:25,108 --> 01:02:26,576
He wasn't your Harry, huh?
1465
01:02:28,778 --> 01:02:29,979
Oh baby.
1466
01:02:43,092 --> 01:02:44,594
Obviously, it's January.
1467
01:02:44,594 --> 01:02:46,362
It's too cold for canvassing.
1468
01:02:46,362 --> 01:02:47,797
But we've got training events
1469
01:02:47,797 --> 01:02:49,265
every weekend from now until March,
1470
01:02:49,265 --> 01:02:51,267
when we should be able to start hitting the streets.
1471
01:02:51,267 --> 01:02:53,069
So, uh, we're in a good place.
1472
01:02:53,069 --> 01:02:54,570
Uh, I'll get you the final volunteer numbers.
1473
01:02:54,570 --> 01:02:55,671
Thanks, guys.
1474
01:03:04,113 --> 01:03:05,214
Hi.
1475
01:03:13,389 --> 01:03:14,791
So I'm getting married.
1476
01:03:16,793 --> 01:03:17,960
You...
1477
01:03:18,761 --> 01:03:19,729
You're, uh...
1478
01:03:20,596 --> 01:03:22,965
Oh my God! Congratulations!
1479
01:03:26,302 --> 01:03:27,470
Look...
1480
01:03:27,470 --> 01:03:30,907
I know we haven't been exactly close the last year.
1481
01:03:32,408 --> 01:03:34,110
God, what's it been, like a year and a half?
1482
01:03:34,110 --> 01:03:35,111
Well, yeah.
1483
01:03:35,111 --> 01:03:37,013
You know what? It doesn't matter. Anyway, um...
1484
01:03:38,347 --> 01:03:39,649
the thing is...
1485
01:03:39,649 --> 01:03:41,984
I don't really like a lot of people...
1486
01:03:43,119 --> 01:03:44,487
except you...
1487
01:03:45,655 --> 01:03:47,290
well, and my fiancé, I guess.
1488
01:03:48,758 --> 01:03:49,826
And, um...
1489
01:03:49,826 --> 01:03:52,528
I just can't imagine getting married
1490
01:03:52,528 --> 01:03:53,696
without you there.
1491
01:03:53,696 --> 01:03:57,700
I mean, you've been my best friend since the first day of college,
1492
01:03:57,700 --> 01:03:58,935
and I just...
1493
01:04:00,937 --> 01:04:03,172
Is there any chance you'd be my Man of Honor?
1494
01:04:05,474 --> 01:04:06,676
"Man of Honor"?
1495
01:04:08,277 --> 01:04:09,345
Uh...
1496
01:04:10,213 --> 01:04:11,614
Is that even a thing?
1497
01:04:12,782 --> 01:04:14,383
It is if I say it is.
1498
01:04:18,521 --> 01:04:19,856
Is Harry cool with it?
1499
01:04:21,123 --> 01:04:22,391
I mean...
1500
01:04:22,391 --> 01:04:24,460
I assume so, but...
1501
01:04:24,460 --> 01:04:26,229
Well, don't you think you should ask him?
1502
01:04:27,997 --> 01:04:30,099
Why would... why would I do that?
1503
01:04:31,167 --> 01:04:32,435
Because he's the groom?
1504
01:04:34,337 --> 01:04:36,038
Oh no.
1505
01:04:36,038 --> 01:04:37,840
No, no, no, I'm not...
1506
01:04:37,840 --> 01:04:39,742
No, I'm not... I'm not marrying Harry.
1507
01:04:39,742 --> 01:04:40,776
I'm marrying Zach.
1508
01:04:42,645 --> 01:04:44,046
You... you're...
1509
01:04:44,981 --> 01:04:46,115
Zach?
1510
01:04:46,115 --> 01:04:47,984
You didn't know?
1511
01:04:48,517 --> 01:04:50,586
No! No! No!
1512
01:04:50,586 --> 01:04:52,655
I mean, I stopped following you guys
1513
01:04:52,655 --> 01:04:54,123
on social media, and then I...
1514
01:04:54,123 --> 01:04:57,026
I kinda wondered why you never got back to me
1515
01:04:57,026 --> 01:04:59,161
when I texted you after Harry and me broke up.
1516
01:04:59,161 --> 01:05:01,364
You didn't say that it was about that.
1517
01:05:01,364 --> 01:05:03,833
And then, and then, you know, I was a little...
1518
01:05:03,833 --> 01:05:07,770
embarrassed about the way that I acted at brunch, but--
1519
01:05:07,770 --> 01:05:09,705
Oh my God, I'm sorry.
1520
01:05:09,705 --> 01:05:11,240
And when I didn't hear from you.
1521
01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:12,875
I, I figured you didn't wanna hear from me,
1522
01:05:12,875 --> 01:05:13,943
- so... - I--
1523
01:05:13,943 --> 01:05:16,078
Oh my God! I am sorry too.
1524
01:05:16,078 --> 01:05:18,180
But then this happened,
1525
01:05:18,180 --> 01:05:20,650
and I figured somebody had to make the first move. So...
1526
01:05:24,253 --> 01:05:27,023
The only reason Harry and I lasted as long as we did
1527
01:05:27,023 --> 01:05:28,758
is because we both felt so...
1528
01:05:28,758 --> 01:05:32,094
shitty about what we did to you
1529
01:05:32,094 --> 01:05:33,329
that we kind of...
1530
01:05:34,764 --> 01:05:36,666
had to make it work, you know.
1531
01:05:37,733 --> 01:05:39,602
Well, that and we did really want to prove you wrong
1532
01:05:39,602 --> 01:05:42,138
after all that nasty stuff you said at brunch, but
1533
01:05:43,472 --> 01:05:45,007
mostly, we felt like...
1534
01:05:46,042 --> 01:05:48,711
if we ruined our friendships with you...
1535
01:05:49,645 --> 01:05:51,013
it had to be love.
1536
01:05:51,981 --> 01:05:54,383
Only... it wasn't.
1537
01:05:57,787 --> 01:05:59,789
And I finally realized
1538
01:05:59,789 --> 01:06:02,591
that every time I was going over to their apartment,
1539
01:06:02,591 --> 01:06:05,361
the person I was hoping would open the door was...
1540
01:06:07,763 --> 01:06:08,898
Zach.
1541
01:06:08,898 --> 01:06:12,301
And I tried to fight it. I mean, I really did.
1542
01:06:12,301 --> 01:06:14,603
Zach is so straight and average.
1543
01:06:14,603 --> 01:06:16,505
You know how I feel about that.
1544
01:06:20,109 --> 01:06:21,344
I don't know.
1545
01:06:22,111 --> 01:06:23,179
I just...
1546
01:06:25,114 --> 01:06:27,183
I just love him so much.
1547
01:06:27,183 --> 01:06:31,988
And the gravitational pull of that is
1548
01:06:31,988 --> 01:06:34,590
so much greater than any ideas
1549
01:06:34,590 --> 01:06:36,859
I had about myself or my life.
1550
01:06:38,995 --> 01:06:40,262
So...
1551
01:06:42,465 --> 01:06:43,566
what do you think?
1552
01:06:48,437 --> 01:06:49,739
Will Harry be there?
1553
01:06:49,739 --> 01:06:52,608
Oh no. No, he's, like, really mad at us.
1554
01:06:54,777 --> 01:06:56,045
Yes.
1555
01:06:56,045 --> 01:06:57,680
Yeah, I would be honored.
1556
01:06:57,680 --> 01:06:58,948
- When is it? - Oh!
1557
01:07:01,117 --> 01:07:02,718
Valentine's Day.
1558
01:07:02,718 --> 01:07:04,820
- Ugh. Isn't that gross? - Oh ho ho!
1559
01:07:04,820 --> 01:07:07,523
But Zach's parents got married on Valentine's Day,
1560
01:07:07,523 --> 01:07:09,025
and it was important to him, so...
1561
01:07:09,825 --> 01:07:10,893
But don't worry, okay.
1562
01:07:10,893 --> 01:07:12,461
We're not doing a rehearsal dinner
1563
01:07:12,461 --> 01:07:13,796
or bachelorette party
1564
01:07:13,796 --> 01:07:15,164
or shower or anything like that.
1565
01:07:15,164 --> 01:07:17,166
Just a simple party
1566
01:07:17,166 --> 01:07:18,567
that night.
1567
01:07:34,383 --> 01:07:35,484
Wow!
1568
01:07:35,484 --> 01:07:36,919
You look amazing.
1569
01:07:36,919 --> 01:07:38,254
You like?
1570
01:07:38,254 --> 01:07:40,723
A twist on the traditional. Like me!
1571
01:07:40,723 --> 01:07:42,258
I love it.
1572
01:07:45,594 --> 01:07:47,563
I'm so happy you're here.
1573
01:07:58,174 --> 01:07:59,475
You said he wasn't coming.
1574
01:08:00,910 --> 01:08:02,011
I lied.
1575
01:08:21,931 --> 01:08:23,599
Sorry to ambush you.
1576
01:08:23,599 --> 01:08:25,067
I, uh...
1577
01:08:25,067 --> 01:08:26,702
asked Stasia to embellish a little
1578
01:08:26,702 --> 01:08:28,771
'cause I didn't think you'd come
1579
01:08:28,771 --> 01:08:30,339
if you knew I was gonna be here.
1580
01:08:32,108 --> 01:08:33,342
It's good to see you.
1581
01:08:34,743 --> 01:08:35,644
I've missed you.
1582
01:08:38,481 --> 01:08:40,883
Can you believe that Stasia is getting married
1583
01:08:40,883 --> 01:08:42,384
on Valentine's Day?
1584
01:08:43,786 --> 01:08:45,654
She likes to think that she's so edgy,
1585
01:08:45,654 --> 01:08:47,022
but let's face it,
1586
01:08:47,490 --> 01:08:48,657
she basic.
1587
01:08:48,657 --> 01:08:49,658
Yeah.
1588
01:08:51,727 --> 01:08:52,962
It's, um...
1589
01:08:53,963 --> 01:08:55,831
big of you to be here,
1590
01:08:55,831 --> 01:08:57,399
after everything that happened.
1591
01:08:58,801 --> 01:09:00,536
Uh, not really.
1592
01:09:01,437 --> 01:09:04,106
I mean, I was never in love with Stasia.
1593
01:09:05,141 --> 01:09:07,343
I love her. I just...
1594
01:09:08,310 --> 01:09:10,346
Mostly I'm just glad she's happy.
1595
01:09:12,781 --> 01:09:14,250
So how come you never called me
1596
01:09:15,017 --> 01:09:16,519
if you missed me so much?
1597
01:09:16,519 --> 01:09:19,688
I mean, it's not like I blocked your number or anything.
1598
01:09:19,688 --> 01:09:22,358
I guess I figured you wouldn't wanna talk to me.
1599
01:09:22,358 --> 01:09:25,828
Or that I didn't deserve to see you again.
1600
01:09:27,329 --> 01:09:28,964
I mean, you made it pretty clear
1601
01:09:28,964 --> 01:09:30,266
how badly I hurt you.
1602
01:09:34,270 --> 01:09:37,273
Well, uh, I should probably get a drink.
1603
01:09:38,807 --> 01:09:40,209
It's good to see you.
1604
01:09:43,546 --> 01:09:45,814
The only reason anything happened with Stasia
1605
01:09:45,814 --> 01:09:47,016
was 'cause...
1606
01:09:48,317 --> 01:09:49,685
'cause I was trying to get over you.
1607
01:09:52,855 --> 01:09:54,390
Why would you need to do that?
1608
01:09:58,294 --> 01:10:01,130
Ever since, uh, that trip home...
1609
01:10:02,398 --> 01:10:04,967
ever since we became friends...
1610
01:10:07,303 --> 01:10:09,238
I guess I kinda wanted something more.
1611
01:10:11,207 --> 01:10:12,708
And then at Pride...
1612
01:10:13,409 --> 01:10:14,476
remember that?
1613
01:10:16,679 --> 01:10:19,048
I was just trying to work up the nerve to tell you
1614
01:10:19,048 --> 01:10:20,916
that I was in love with you,
1615
01:10:20,916 --> 01:10:24,853
but you made it really, really clear
1616
01:10:24,853 --> 01:10:26,388
that nothing was ever gonna happen.
1617
01:10:26,388 --> 01:10:27,990
Because you never said anything!
1618
01:10:27,990 --> 01:10:29,291
I know.
1619
01:10:29,291 --> 01:10:31,227
And then I ruined everything.
1620
01:10:34,396 --> 01:10:35,898
The worst part is that
1621
01:10:35,898 --> 01:10:38,968
you were my favorite person in the world...
1622
01:10:40,603 --> 01:10:43,105
and in one night, I lost you twice.
1623
01:10:43,606 --> 01:10:44,673
I, um...
1624
01:10:46,609 --> 01:10:47,843
I, um...
1625
01:10:48,611 --> 01:10:49,612
was?
1626
01:10:50,212 --> 01:10:51,413
Past tense?
1627
01:10:52,414 --> 01:10:54,683
You said that I was your favorite person.
1628
01:10:57,086 --> 01:10:58,520
No, stupid.
1629
01:10:59,622 --> 01:11:00,823
You are.
1630
01:11:01,624 --> 01:11:02,858
Always will be.
1631
01:11:04,193 --> 01:11:07,029
You are the smartest, funniest,
1632
01:11:07,029 --> 01:11:10,199
strangest person I have ever met,
1633
01:11:10,199 --> 01:11:12,468
and I love everything about you.
1634
01:11:13,802 --> 01:11:16,205
I love that you need to control everything...
1635
01:11:16,205 --> 01:11:21,110
and that you don't trust a cashier to give you the right change.
1636
01:11:21,110 --> 01:11:22,244
Well...
1637
01:11:22,244 --> 01:11:25,047
I love that you never forget anything
1638
01:11:25,047 --> 01:11:28,651
and that you need to explain half of your jokes to me.
1639
01:11:29,885 --> 01:11:32,354
And I even love how crazy I make you,
1640
01:11:32,354 --> 01:11:35,157
'cause I know that means I matter to you.
1641
01:11:35,991 --> 01:11:37,192
And...
1642
01:11:38,894 --> 01:11:41,997
mattering to you is kinda all I ever wanted.
1643
01:11:46,468 --> 01:11:49,338
♪ If the world was ending ♪
1644
01:11:50,105 --> 01:11:51,740
♪ You'd come over right ♪
1645
01:11:51,740 --> 01:11:53,409
♪ You'd come over you'd come over ♪
1646
01:11:53,409 --> 01:11:54,843
♪ You'd come over right ♪
1647
01:11:59,114 --> 01:12:02,351
♪ If the world was ending you'd come over right ♪
1648
01:12:03,118 --> 01:12:04,520
Anastasia Hooper,
1649
01:12:05,421 --> 01:12:06,822
you're the most beautiful...
1650
01:12:07,790 --> 01:12:08,857
authentic...
1651
01:12:08,857 --> 01:12:11,060
thrilling woman I've ever met,
1652
01:12:12,161 --> 01:12:13,462
and I can't believe I get to spend
1653
01:12:13,462 --> 01:12:14,697
the rest of my life with you.
1654
01:12:16,131 --> 01:12:17,266
You surprise me.
1655
01:12:17,966 --> 01:12:19,168
You challenge me...
1656
01:12:19,635 --> 01:12:20,703
a lot.
1657
01:12:20,703 --> 01:12:23,839
You make me want to be a better version of myself.
1658
01:12:23,839 --> 01:12:26,608
I can only hope to do half as much for you.
1659
01:12:28,510 --> 01:12:30,346
I feel like the luckiest person in the world right now,
1660
01:12:30,346 --> 01:12:31,947
and I'm gonna spend the rest of my life
1661
01:12:31,947 --> 01:12:33,515
making sure you feel that way too.
1662
01:12:41,357 --> 01:12:44,426
♪ Never was an early riser ♪
1663
01:12:44,426 --> 01:12:48,030
♪ Used to be an up all-nighter ♪
1664
01:12:48,030 --> 01:12:51,033
♪ Never saw the mornin' light ♪
1665
01:12:51,033 --> 01:12:54,370
♪ Quite like I do now ♪
1666
01:12:54,370 --> 01:12:58,307
♪ Never said no to a party ♪
1667
01:12:58,307 --> 01:13:01,377
♪ Never started savin' money ♪
1668
01:13:02,211 --> 01:13:05,080
♪ But everything is different ♪
1669
01:13:05,080 --> 01:13:08,317
♪ Since you've been around ♪
1670
01:13:08,317 --> 01:13:11,787
♪ It's the way you're smilin' at me ♪
1671
01:13:11,787 --> 01:13:15,491
♪ It's in the way you hold my hand ♪
1672
01:13:15,491 --> 01:13:18,727
♪ It's the way I've watched you change me ♪
1673
01:13:18,727 --> 01:13:22,264
♪ From a boy into a man ♪
1674
01:13:22,264 --> 01:13:25,534
♪ It's a million things about you ♪
1675
01:13:25,534 --> 01:13:28,937
♪ And I don't know what it is ♪
1676
01:13:28,937 --> 01:13:33,375
♪ But I have never known a love like this... ♪
1677
01:13:33,375 --> 01:13:34,977
Can I take you home now?
1678
01:13:36,845 --> 01:13:37,913
Yes.
1679
01:13:39,681 --> 01:13:42,651
♪ Never used to get excited ♪
1680
01:13:43,752 --> 01:13:45,654
♪ To sit here in the silence ♪
1681
01:13:46,889 --> 01:13:49,625
♪ Holdin' on to somethin' ♪
1682
01:13:49,625 --> 01:13:52,594
♪ The way I'm holdin' you ♪
1683
01:13:52,594 --> 01:13:57,065
♪ Didn't used to know how fast time ♪
1684
01:13:57,065 --> 01:14:00,269
♪ Walks and runs and flies by ♪
1685
01:14:00,269 --> 01:14:03,605
♪ I never thought I'd feel so deeply ♪
1686
01:14:03,605 --> 01:14:06,275
♪ But damn, I do ♪
1687
01:14:06,275 --> 01:14:10,012
♪ It's the way you're smilin' at me ♪
1688
01:14:10,012 --> 01:14:13,615
♪ It's in the way you hold my hand ♪
1689
01:14:13,615 --> 01:14:17,019
♪ It's the way I've watched you change me ♪
1690
01:14:17,019 --> 01:14:20,022
♪ From a boy into a man ♪
1691
01:14:20,022 --> 01:14:23,559
♪ It's a million things about you ♪
1692
01:14:23,559 --> 01:14:26,895
♪ And I don't know what it is ♪
1693
01:14:26,895 --> 01:14:32,501
♪ But I have never known a love like this ♪
1694
01:14:34,603 --> 01:14:39,308
♪ I have never known a love like this ♪
1695
01:15:08,971 --> 01:15:12,441
I guess Suck-up Sammy wasn't such a bad nickname after all.
1696
01:15:13,175 --> 01:15:14,510
Stop!
1697
01:15:22,184 --> 01:15:23,685
Don't do that. Don't...
1698
01:15:24,453 --> 01:15:25,988
look at me like that.
1699
01:15:25,988 --> 01:15:27,789
Don't make me right.
1700
01:15:28,624 --> 01:15:29,591
Right?
1701
01:15:30,559 --> 01:15:31,927
About what?
1702
01:15:32,794 --> 01:15:34,363
About this! About...
1703
01:15:35,898 --> 01:15:38,000
how we shouldn't have done this.
1704
01:15:38,000 --> 01:15:39,034
Hey, no, no.
1705
01:15:39,968 --> 01:15:41,703
Last night was perfect.
1706
01:15:41,703 --> 01:15:44,806
It was everything that I thought it would be
1707
01:15:44,806 --> 01:15:46,308
and, like...
1708
01:15:46,308 --> 01:15:47,876
a thousand times better.
1709
01:15:50,412 --> 01:15:52,614
Then why do you have that look on your face?
1710
01:15:56,084 --> 01:15:57,586
I finally got a job.
1711
01:15:58,754 --> 01:16:01,790
Like... a real job.
1712
01:16:02,591 --> 01:16:03,825
Awesome, but?
1713
01:16:05,494 --> 01:16:06,495
But...
1714
01:16:08,196 --> 01:16:10,999
it's in LA, and I leave next week.
1715
01:16:15,070 --> 01:16:16,204
Are you kidding?
1716
01:16:16,204 --> 01:16:17,506
It's one of the biggest
1717
01:16:17,506 --> 01:16:19,174
sports marketing companies in the world.
1718
01:16:19,174 --> 01:16:22,344
- How could I say no? - This is so like you, Harry.
1719
01:16:23,512 --> 01:16:25,447
Even getting your dream job sounds like
1720
01:16:25,447 --> 01:16:27,249
something just happened to you.
1721
01:16:30,586 --> 01:16:32,654
I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I, I...
1722
01:16:33,422 --> 01:16:34,623
How could you...
1723
01:16:35,924 --> 01:16:37,159
How could you...
1724
01:16:38,226 --> 01:16:41,029
let us... do that...
1725
01:16:41,930 --> 01:16:44,766
knowing you were just gonna leave?
1726
01:16:44,766 --> 01:16:46,802
- Why didn't you tell me? - I needed to know.
1727
01:16:46,802 --> 01:16:48,971
And, and I am telling you.
1728
01:16:48,971 --> 01:16:50,172
I-I'm telling you now!
1729
01:16:50,172 --> 01:16:52,808
This doesn't mean we can't be together.
1730
01:16:52,808 --> 01:16:54,042
You know what? I, uh...
1731
01:16:56,445 --> 01:16:58,080
I got-gotta go.
1732
01:16:58,080 --> 01:16:58,981
Come on, Sam.
1733
01:16:58,981 --> 01:17:00,882
We got the whole weekend,
1734
01:17:00,882 --> 01:17:02,417
an-and LA's not that far.
1735
01:17:02,417 --> 01:17:05,287
I mean, there's these new-fangled things called airplanes.
1736
01:17:06,655 --> 01:17:09,491
Wha-wha-what? You don't trust me to do long-distance?
1737
01:17:09,491 --> 01:17:11,927
How can I trust you to do long-distance
1738
01:17:11,927 --> 01:17:14,329
when I can't even trust you to tell me the whole truth.
1739
01:17:15,564 --> 01:17:18,000
Before we slept together!
1740
01:17:18,000 --> 01:17:19,334
Before I...
1741
01:17:20,302 --> 01:17:22,004
I, I let you in.
1742
01:17:22,004 --> 01:17:26,108
You had... so many chances to say something.
1743
01:17:26,108 --> 01:17:29,011
Do you seriously not get what a betrayal that is?
1744
01:17:30,012 --> 01:17:31,346
No, of course you don't.
1745
01:17:31,346 --> 01:17:33,815
You know, you say that you love
1746
01:17:33,815 --> 01:17:35,817
all those things about me,
1747
01:17:35,817 --> 01:17:39,621
but if you don't understand that trust is the only thing
1748
01:17:39,621 --> 01:17:41,023
that matters to me, well...
1749
01:17:42,691 --> 01:17:44,693
then I, I guess you don't know me at all.
1750
01:17:46,261 --> 01:17:48,030
Or maybe you do and that's why you did it.
1751
01:17:48,030 --> 01:17:50,298
Because you say you want love,
1752
01:17:50,298 --> 01:17:51,733
blah blah, but...
1753
01:17:52,834 --> 01:17:54,169
you know, at the end of the day,
1754
01:17:54,169 --> 01:17:55,871
you're just as afraid of it as I am.
1755
01:17:59,508 --> 01:18:01,009
At least I know now
1756
01:18:01,009 --> 01:18:03,045
for sure I was right.
1757
01:18:04,846 --> 01:18:06,782
We never should have tried to be anything more than friends.
1758
01:18:06,782 --> 01:18:08,517
It always screws everything up.
1759
01:18:16,158 --> 01:18:17,726
I have two choices.
1760
01:18:17,726 --> 01:18:22,364
To give up and accept permanent state of spinsterhood
1761
01:18:22,364 --> 01:18:24,466
and eventual eating by dogs.
1762
01:18:25,200 --> 01:18:26,368
Or not.
1763
01:18:26,368 --> 01:18:29,204
And this time I choose not.
1764
01:18:29,204 --> 01:18:31,306
- I will not be defeated... - Oh!
1765
01:18:31,306 --> 01:18:34,076
...by a bad man and an American stick insect.
1766
01:18:38,914 --> 01:18:40,482
You ruined...
1767
01:18:40,849 --> 01:18:42,384
everything.
1768
01:18:46,254 --> 01:18:48,457
A sandwich for Samwich.
1769
01:18:51,760 --> 01:18:52,961
So that's it, huh?
1770
01:18:52,961 --> 01:18:55,330
You're just never gonna talk to him again?
1771
01:18:56,598 --> 01:18:57,833
Just gonna spend the rest of your life
1772
01:18:57,833 --> 01:18:59,568
burrowed under this duvet,
1773
01:18:59,568 --> 01:19:01,436
sweating into my vintage velvet couch
1774
01:19:01,436 --> 01:19:03,004
like some sort of tragic dust mite?
1775
01:19:03,004 --> 01:19:05,974
Don't you have to work or something?
1776
01:19:07,109 --> 01:19:08,677
- What day is it? - Friday.
1777
01:19:09,344 --> 01:19:11,179
Oh my God, the rally!
1778
01:19:13,014 --> 01:19:15,050
You should probably shower. You smell really bad.
1779
01:19:15,050 --> 01:19:16,251
All right!
1780
01:19:16,251 --> 01:19:18,553
And now to Katie Leonard on the scene
1781
01:19:18,553 --> 01:19:20,255
in downtown Chicago. Katie.
1782
01:19:20,255 --> 01:19:21,623
We are coming to you live
1783
01:19:21,623 --> 01:19:23,225
from one of the first big rallies
1784
01:19:23,225 --> 01:19:25,694
in what is sure to be a contentious governor's race.
1785
01:19:25,694 --> 01:19:27,429
Mitchell's team has told us that they plan
1786
01:19:27,429 --> 01:19:28,764
on doing whatever it takes
1787
01:19:28,764 --> 01:19:30,265
to take her to the next level.
1788
01:19:30,265 --> 01:19:32,968
After a difficult primary run, a lot of people were--
1789
01:19:32,968 --> 01:19:35,036
♪ I can't write one song ♪
1790
01:19:35,036 --> 01:19:36,872
♪ That's not about you ♪
1791
01:19:36,872 --> 01:19:40,809
♪ Can't drink without thinkin' about you ♪
1792
01:19:40,809 --> 01:19:44,146
♪ Is it too late to tell you that ♪
1793
01:19:44,146 --> 01:19:47,716
♪ Everything means nothing if I can't have you? ♪
1794
01:19:47,716 --> 01:19:52,420
♪ I can't write one song that's not about you ♪
1795
01:19:52,420 --> 01:19:56,424
♪ Can't drink without thinkin' about you ♪
1796
01:19:56,424 --> 01:19:57,826
♪ Is it too late... ♪
1797
01:19:57,826 --> 01:20:00,095
Oh whoa! Got a wristband?
1798
01:20:00,095 --> 01:20:03,398
- Uh, I-- - No wristband, no entry.
1799
01:20:03,398 --> 01:20:07,002
♪ I'm so sorry that my timing's off ♪
1800
01:20:07,002 --> 01:20:11,006
♪ But I can't move on if we're still gonna talk... ♪
1801
01:20:11,006 --> 01:20:13,642
Oh, good you're here. Okay, right through this door. Come on, come on.
1802
01:20:13,642 --> 01:20:16,611
Stand there by the door. Ladies. Ladies.
1803
01:20:16,611 --> 01:20:18,079
It's time. Right now.
1804
01:20:18,079 --> 01:20:19,314
Let's go!
1805
01:20:19,314 --> 01:20:20,515
Let's go! Let's go!
1806
01:20:21,449 --> 01:20:22,584
All right, now remember...
1807
01:20:25,954 --> 01:20:27,255
Energy! Energy! Energy!
1808
01:20:27,255 --> 01:20:28,957
I want you to set up over there. Come on, let's go.
1809
01:20:28,957 --> 01:20:30,826
Big smiles. Big smiles. There you go.
1810
01:20:34,496 --> 01:20:36,198
Ladies and gentlemen,
1811
01:20:36,198 --> 01:20:37,833
put your hands together
1812
01:20:37,833 --> 01:20:40,368
for the Illinois Maples dance team.
1813
01:20:47,509 --> 01:20:48,410
Oh!
1814
01:20:51,980 --> 01:20:53,014
Watch out!
1815
01:21:19,875 --> 01:21:21,109
- Look out! - Whoa!
1816
01:21:30,051 --> 01:21:31,253
Hey, come here!
1817
01:21:31,253 --> 01:21:32,587
Get off the stage!
1818
01:21:33,255 --> 01:21:34,322
Ow!
1819
01:21:35,390 --> 01:21:36,658
Yeah! You!
1820
01:21:44,666 --> 01:21:46,001
Whoo!
1821
01:21:51,740 --> 01:21:54,175
Um... uh, I...
1822
01:21:54,175 --> 01:21:56,278
Sorry. I, I didn't mean to...
1823
01:21:56,878 --> 01:21:58,013
mess things up.
1824
01:21:58,013 --> 01:22:01,349
Someone in this very crowd once told me that
1825
01:22:01,349 --> 01:22:04,753
wh-when you make a mess of things, you gotta fix 'em.
1826
01:22:04,753 --> 01:22:08,323
You got to take responsibility for what you want in this life.
1827
01:22:09,357 --> 01:22:11,626
And if you want the best governor
1828
01:22:11,626 --> 01:22:13,128
for your state of Illinois,
1829
01:22:13,128 --> 01:22:16,097
then you have to go out there and accept responsibility,
1830
01:22:16,097 --> 01:22:19,467
an-and work as hard as you can for Lindsay Mitchell!
1831
01:22:23,238 --> 01:22:25,440
Uh, just... Sorry, sorry, sorry. Um...
1832
01:22:25,440 --> 01:22:26,942
Uh, one more thing.
1833
01:22:28,143 --> 01:22:30,312
Sam. Sam Baselli.
1834
01:22:31,880 --> 01:22:34,316
Just, just listen to me. Please.
1835
01:22:35,250 --> 01:22:37,218
You were right, about everything.
1836
01:22:37,218 --> 01:22:40,021
I have to take responsibility for what I did,
1837
01:22:40,021 --> 01:22:41,856
and for what I want.
1838
01:22:42,791 --> 01:22:44,192
And what I did was messed up.
1839
01:22:44,192 --> 01:22:47,696
And I don't just mean that opening number.
1840
01:22:48,630 --> 01:22:50,498
And what I want is you.
1841
01:22:51,666 --> 01:22:53,068
I'm not going to LA.
1842
01:22:53,068 --> 01:22:55,136
There are other jobs.
1843
01:22:57,339 --> 01:23:00,208
But... there's no other Sam Baselli.
1844
01:23:01,276 --> 01:23:02,877
You're my best friend, Sam.
1845
01:23:04,579 --> 01:23:06,848
And wherever I have to be so I could fall asleep
1846
01:23:06,848 --> 01:23:09,551
with you in my arms and wake up looking in your eyes...
1847
01:23:11,453 --> 01:23:12,821
that's where I'm gonna be.
1848
01:23:14,489 --> 01:23:16,524
I'm not going anywhere because...
1849
01:23:17,258 --> 01:23:18,326
I love you.
1850
01:23:18,860 --> 01:23:20,528
Aww.
1851
01:23:22,297 --> 01:23:24,165
And you can trust me on that.
1852
01:23:26,301 --> 01:23:27,335
For real.
1853
01:23:30,472 --> 01:23:32,707
Well, are you gonna come up and kiss him, Sam?
1854
01:23:33,274 --> 01:23:34,709
Or should I?
1855
01:23:52,827 --> 01:23:54,696
How about that?
1856
01:23:54,696 --> 01:23:56,631
That young man put it all on the line...
1857
01:23:56,631 --> 01:23:58,533
I know you like to be right about everything,
1858
01:23:59,234 --> 01:24:00,935
but you were so wrong about this.
1859
01:24:01,970 --> 01:24:04,105
Friends can fall in love...
1860
01:24:05,907 --> 01:24:07,175
and I'm gonna spend the rest of my life
1861
01:24:07,175 --> 01:24:08,543
making sure you know it.
1862
01:24:10,578 --> 01:24:12,080
I don't mind being wrong.
1863
01:24:27,762 --> 01:24:30,899
♪ I'm just wild about Harry ♪
1864
01:24:30,899 --> 01:24:34,235
♪ And Harry's wild about me ♪
1865
01:24:34,235 --> 01:24:36,538
♪ The heavenly blisses ♪
1866
01:24:36,538 --> 01:24:40,308
♪ Of his kisses fill me with ecstasy ♪
1867
01:24:40,308 --> 01:24:44,279
♪ He's sweet just like chocolate candy ♪
1868
01:24:44,279 --> 01:24:47,682
♪ Or just like honey from a bee ♪
1869
01:24:47,682 --> 01:24:50,018
♪ Oh, I'm just wild about Harry... ♪
1870
01:24:50,018 --> 01:24:52,687
Hey!
1871
01:24:55,256 --> 01:24:56,991
- How was your day? - Good.
1872
01:24:56,991 --> 01:24:58,960
Yeah? You have a good day?
1873
01:24:58,960 --> 01:24:59,894
Yeah.
1874
01:24:59,894 --> 01:25:01,663
- A little bit moody today. - Aww.
1875
01:25:14,876 --> 01:25:18,780
♪ Oh, I'm just wild about Harry ♪
1876
01:25:18,780 --> 01:25:24,853
♪ And he's just wild about me ♪
1877
01:25:28,323 --> 01:25:30,959
♪ I'm just wild about Harry ♪
1878
01:25:30,959 --> 01:25:35,396
♪哈利的关于我的野生♪
1879
01:25:35,396 --> 01:25:37,765
♪天上blisses♪
1880
01:25:37,765 --> 01:25:42,203
♪他吻我充满狂喜♪
1881
01:25:42,203 --> 01:25:46,341
♪他是甜的，就像巧克力糖果♪
1882
01:25:46,341 --> 01:25:49,878
♪或者仅仅是想从蜂蜜♪
1883
01:25:49,878 --> 01:25:53,982
♪哦，我只是野生关于哈里♪
1884
01:25:53,982 --> 01:25:57,051
♪他只是野生关于我♪121718
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