All language subtitles for The.Opposite.Sex.and.How.to.Live.with.Them.1992.1080p.WEBRip.DDP2.0.x264-NTb-HI

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:20,117 [ BIRDS SCREECHING ] 2 00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:36,736 [ ANIMALS CHATTERING ] 3 00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:40,040 [ ELEPHANT TRUMPETING ] 4 00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:52,523 Eli: TWO TYPES OF CREATURES IN THE WILD KINGDOM -- 5 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,523 THE PREDATORS AND THE PREY. 6 00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:56,515 WHEN WE DECIDE TO PREDATE... 7 00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,827 THEY HAD BETTER PRAY. 8 00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:00,359 [ CHUCKLES ] 9 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:03,134 WHATEVER. 10 00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:05,774 YOU SEE, LIFE WAS SIMPLE FOR DAVID AND ME. 11 00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:07,769 WE WERE CAPTAINS OF OUR OWN SHIPS. 12 00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:10,671 WE DECIDED WHEN THE PERISCOPE GOES UP 13 00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:12,514 AND WHEN THE PERISCOPE GOES DOWN, 14 00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:16,410 WHEN TO FIRE THE TORPEDOES AND WHO WAS UNDER ATTACK. 15 00:01:16,444 --> 00:01:19,854 AND THEN DAVID VENTURED FOOLISHLY 16 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,850 INTO UNCHARTED WATERS. 17 00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:25,892 * THE PURPOSE OF A MAN IS TO LOVE A WOMAN * 18 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:30,319 * THE PURPOSE OF A WOMAN IS TO LOVE A MAN * 19 00:01:30,358 --> 00:01:32,488 * SO COME ON, BABY, LET'S START TODAY * 20 00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:34,326 * COME ON, BABY, LET'S PLAY 21 00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:35,862 * THE GAME OF LOVE 22 00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:40,399 * THE GAME OF LOVE 23 00:01:43,371 --> 00:01:45,641 * COME ON, BABY, 'CAUSE THE TIME IS RIGHT * 24 00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:47,883 * COME ON, BABY, 'CAUSE THE TIME IS RIGHT * 25 00:01:47,908 --> 00:01:49,878 * LOVE YOUR DADDY WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT * 26 00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:51,880 * LOVE YOUR DADDY WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT * 27 00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:53,882 * PUT YOUR ARMS AROUND ME AND HOLD ME TIGHT * 28 00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:56,624 * PUT YOUR ARMS AROUND ME AND HOLD ME TIGHT * 29 00:01:58,419 --> 00:02:00,919 * PLAY THE GAME OF LOVE 30 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:04,934 * THE PURPOSE OF A MAN IS TO LOVE A WOMAN * 31 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:09,258 * THE PURPOSE OF A WOMAN IS TO LOVE A MAN * 32 00:02:09,297 --> 00:02:11,627 * SO COME ON, BABY, LET'S START TODAY * 33 00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:12,925 * COME ON, BABY, LET'S PLAY 34 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,836 OW! * THE GAME OF LOVE 35 00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:18,174 AAH! 36 00:02:18,206 --> 00:02:19,836 OW. 37 00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,813 IT'S NOT POLITE TO SPY. 38 00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:24,752 I WASN'T SPYING. I WAS LEERING. 39 00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:27,348 YOU KNOW, THIS THING REINFORCES BAD VIEWING HABITS. 40 00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:29,521 YOU SHOULD LEARN TO LOOK AT A WOMAN AS A WHOLE. 41 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:30,650 HEY, LISTEN. 42 00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:33,954 I'M WAY TOO ENLIGHTENED TO LOOK AT WOMEN LIKE THAT. 43 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,857 I MEANT AS OPPOSED TO JUST HALF. 44 00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:39,929 IT'S A PERISCOPE IN A BAR. LIGHTEN UP. 45 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,560 YOU JUST SHOULDN'T LOOK AT WOMEN AS OBJECTS. 46 00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:45,765 OH, NO. YOU SEE, I WAS LOOKING AT WOMEN OBJECTIVELY. 47 00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:48,299 YOU KNOW, I DON'T CARE FOR SEMANTICS. 48 00:02:48,336 --> 00:02:51,236 HMM. TOO BAD. I'M JEWISH. 49 00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:54,813 HEY, CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK? 50 00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:57,807 I DON'T THINK SO. 51 00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,605 THE -- THE WHOLE YOU? 52 00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:02,882 OW. 53 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:05,648 EXCUSE ME. 54 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,216 I'M SORRY. 55 00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:09,288 TROUBLE, SKIPPER? 56 00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:12,593 UH, FLESH WOUND. 57 00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,256 THERE WE GO. 58 00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:15,925 THAT'S MUCH BETTER. 59 00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:17,433 MM-HMM. THANK YOU. 60 00:03:17,465 --> 00:03:18,865 MEDICINAL PURPOSES. 61 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,435 HI! 62 00:03:23,471 --> 00:03:25,441 HEY. OH, YOU LOOK GREAT. I'VE NEVER SEEN THIS. 63 00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:27,983 YES. WELL, I CAN HIDE A SMALL CHILD IN THIS. 64 00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:31,348 SO YOU SHOULD GO FOR IT. LITTLE DIMPLES, LITTLE ASS. 65 00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:32,679 LITTLE POTENTIAL. 66 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,683 YOU AND YOUR POTENTIAL QUOTIENT. 67 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:37,945 HAVE YOU GOT SOME SORT OF POTENTIAL-CALCULATOR DEVICE IN YOUR HEAD? 68 00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:38,915 I MEAN, HOW DO YOU KNOW? 69 00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:41,592 ZOE, I KNOW THE TYPE. 70 00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:44,692 [ SALT-N-PEPA'S "DO YOU WANT ME" PLAYS ] 71 00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,955 I AM IN LOVE WITH THAT GIRL. 72 00:03:48,529 --> 00:03:51,369 DAVID, THAT GIRL INTENDED 73 00:03:51,399 --> 00:03:53,369 AND INFLICTED BODILY INJURY ON YOU. 74 00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:54,901 YOU DON'T MARRY GIRLS LIKE THAT. 75 00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:56,765 YOU FILE RESTRAINING ORDERS AGAINST THEM. 76 00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:57,944 [ CHUCKLES ] 77 00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,641 HO. SPIDER SENSE TINGLING. 78 00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:00,643 WHERE? 79 00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:02,414 DON'T LOOK. 3:00. 80 00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:04,043 DON'T LOOK! 81 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,047 I'M SENSING A GERMANIC ACCENT. 82 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,279 SWEDISH. STEWARDESSES, MAYBE. 83 00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:09,546 UH, SECRETARIES. 84 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,393 GERMAN BANK UPSTAIRS. AH. 85 00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:12,849 TWO BECK'S. TWO BECK'S. 86 00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:14,786 COVER ME. I'M GOING IN. 87 00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:19,858 ONE MORE FURTIVE GLANCE BETWEEN YOU TWO, 88 00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:22,863 AND I WILL SPEW PIÑA COLADA. 89 00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:26,327 [ LAUGHS ] 90 00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:27,597 HE IS CUTE. 91 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,942 Eli: I WAS SITTING DOWN THE END OF THE BAR, 92 00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:32,041 AND I WAS THINKING, "JEEZ. 93 00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:34,582 I'VE NEVER MET A EUROPEAN WOMAN WHO DIDN'T LIKE BEER." 94 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,578 [ LAUGHS ] I'VE GOT TWO. IS THIS PERFECT? 95 00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:37,910 ONE FOR YOU AND ONE FOR YOU. 96 00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:39,875 NOW, IF YOU DON'T LIKE BEER, THAT'S FINE. 97 00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:44,449 COULD BE NOW IS A GOOD TIME FOR BEER. 98 00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:49,957 FOR ALL YOU KNOW, HE MAY BE THE SWEETEST, MOST SENSITIVE, 99 00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,490 EVOLVED GUY ON THE PLANET. 100 00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:57,830 I LIKE DARK BEER, ACTUALLY. 101 00:04:57,865 --> 00:05:00,025 HANNA, MARTA, THIS IS MY, UH, GOOD FRIEND DAVID. 102 00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:02,938 THEN AGAIN... 103 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,840 LET'S GO. 104 00:05:04,872 --> 00:05:07,912 SO, UH, YOU'RE BOTH SECRETARIES. 105 00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:10,441 NO -- TELLERS. MUNCHEN BANK. 106 00:05:10,478 --> 00:05:11,948 I BANK THERE. YEAH. 107 00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,749 BYE. Carrie: BYE. LAST WEEK. 108 00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:16,621 I, UH, YOU BROKE A DEUTSCHE MARK FOR ME. DO -- DO YOU REMEMBER? 109 00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:19,685 NO. MNH-MNH. 110 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,960 SO, HERE IT IS, FRIDAY NIGHT. EARLY FRIDAY NIGHT. 111 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:24,630 AND I'M SURE IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME 112 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:25,958 BEFORE YOU REVERT TO SHELTER MENTALITY 113 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:29,133 AND SAY SOMETHING LIKE... I'M SO TIRED. I JUST WANT TO GO HOME. 114 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,832 EXACTLY. 115 00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:33,904 ZOE, ANY GUY YOU MEET IN A BAR PICKS UP WOMEN IN BARS. 116 00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:36,074 THEREFORE, I CAN SAFELY RULE OUT THAT GUY, 117 00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:38,973 AS CUTE AS HE MAY HAVE BEEN, JUST BASED ON THE GENERAL THEORY 118 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,836 OF GUILT BY GEOGRAPHIC ASSOCIATION. 119 00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:44,714 THEN I HAVE TO ASK YOU, WHAT WERE WE DOING IN THE BAR? 120 00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:47,545 WE WERE HAVING A DRINK. 121 00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:50,451 OKAY. WE WERE SPENDING SOME TIME TOGETHER. 122 00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:51,794 WE LIVE TOGETHER. 123 00:05:51,819 --> 00:05:52,989 ALL RIGHT, ZOE. OKAY. 124 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,460 WE WERE SCOPING AND SCAMMING, JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. 125 00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:56,589 ARE YOU HAPPY? 126 00:05:56,624 --> 00:05:57,964 WAS THAT SO HARD? 127 00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,691 OH. 128 00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:02,827 Driver: RED LINE OUTBOUND. NEXT STOP, HARVARD SQUARE. 129 00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:05,631 Eli: OH, PERFECT. 130 00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:07,836 TEN OF MY FAVORITE PICKUP LINES, 131 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:11,438 25 BUCKS WORTH OF DRINKS, A WHOLE LOT OF WASTED CHARM 132 00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:13,842 ONLY TO FIND OUT THAT HANNA AND MARTA WERE LOVERS. 133 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,014 I HATE THAT. 134 00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:15,912 YEAH. GO FIGURE. 135 00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:17,983 WELL, THE NIGHT'S NOT A TOTAL WASH, HUH? 136 00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:20,151 WE'LL GO CATCH A LITTLE JOE DOWN AT THE CANTAB LOUNGE. 137 00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:21,880 WHAT DO YOU SAY? OH, GREAT. GREAT. 138 00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:25,585 OH, PLEASE TELL ME YOU'VE GOTTEN OVER THE FINGER CRUSHER. 139 00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:27,689 YEAH, WELL... 140 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,161 THE MEMORY LINGERS A BIT, YEAH. 141 00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:30,859 MM-HMM. 142 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,861 BUT YOU'VE GOT THE ANSWER FOR THAT, DON'T YOU? 143 00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:33,863 SURE, I DO. 144 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:37,004 WE ERASE THAT MEMORY BY STAYING OUT ALL NIGHT, 145 00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:38,930 DESTROYING OUR BRAIN CELLS WITH ALCOHOL 146 00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:40,196 AND SOCIOPATHIC BEHAVIOR. 147 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:43,743 EASY SOLUTIONS TO LIFE'S DIFFICULT PROBLEMS. 148 00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:46,141 I FEEL BETTER. 149 00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:47,813 OF COURSE YOU DO. 150 00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:51,011 SO WE STAYED OUT ALL NIGHT AND DRANK TEQUILA, 151 00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:53,014 AND NEITHER ONE OF US SCORED. 152 00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:54,946 I, UH, OF COURSE, SUCCEEDED 153 00:06:54,982 --> 00:06:58,492 IN THE RESEARCH-AND-DEVELOPMENT DEPARTMENT. 154 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,860 ANDREA. MM-HMM. 155 00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:04,689 652-94... 156 00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:07,525 I DON'T REMEMBER ANDREA. 157 00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:08,861 AHA. 158 00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:11,696 YEAH. MIMI. MIMI, I REMEMBER. 159 00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:15,042 627-43... 160 00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:17,708 I DON'T REMEMBER MIMI. 161 00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:20,668 THAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH TEQUILA. 162 00:07:20,708 --> 00:07:22,138 MIMI. 163 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:27,005 * TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME * 164 00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:31,247 * TAKE ME OUT WITH THE CROWD 165 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:35,094 * BUY ME SOME PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACK * 166 00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:39,632 OH, HE IS TOO DARLING. I LOVE HIM. 167 00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:42,630 THAT IS AN MVP ASS. 168 00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:44,733 NO. IT'S ENTIRELY TOO SMALL. 169 00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:45,995 NO! NO! 170 00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:47,973 I'M TELLING YOU, IT'S TOO SMALL. 171 00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:50,843 THERE. 172 00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:51,811 WHOA. BIG ENOUGH FOR YOU? 173 00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:53,809 [ LAUGHS ] NOW, THAT'S BETTER. 174 00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,953 [ CROWD MURMURING ] 175 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,022 Vendor: PEANUTS! GET YOUR PEANUTS! 176 00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:05,951 YEAH! ALL RIGHT! HERE! 177 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,916 COMIN' AT YA! HERE YOU GO. HONEY! 178 00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:09,115 PEANUTS! 179 00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:12,588 PEANUTS! 180 00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:17,002 BEER HERE. BEER. 181 00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:18,700 YO. TWO BEERS. 182 00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:19,932 LIGHT? 183 00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:20,927 WHAT? 184 00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:22,798 LIGHT BEER? 185 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,836 DO I LOOK LIKE A PUSSY? 186 00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:30,079 HERE YOU GO. 187 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,240 THANKS, PAL. 188 00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:33,248 BEER HERE. 189 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,150 SPIDER SENSE TINGLING. 190 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:36,952 OH, YOUR SPIDER SENSE IS FUCKED. 191 00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:38,524 NO, I WISH. 192 00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:40,346 RED HAIR, BLUE TOP. 193 00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:42,857 IT'S WINNIE THE POOH AND TIGGER, TOO, FROM LAST NIGHT. 194 00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:43,920 NO. 195 00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:46,987 YES. HOW MANY CHICKS HAVE THE JOKER'S HAIR? 196 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,997 JOKER HAS GREEN HAIR, ASSHOLE. CRACKER JACKS HERE. CRACKER JACKS. 197 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,259 WHAT DID I SAY? GARCON! 198 00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:53,628 CRACKER JACKS. CRACKER JACKS. UM, YEAH. CRACKER JACK HERE. 199 00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:55,797 ALL RIGHT. HEY, CRACKER JACKS, EVERYBODY. 200 00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:57,236 PEANUTS, CRACKER JACKS A BUCK. 201 00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:58,770 YOU GOT ANY CRACKER JACK? 202 00:08:58,806 --> 00:08:59,936 GIVE ME A MINUTE HERE. PLENTY OF CRACKER JACKS. 203 00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:03,143 ANYBODY FOR PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACKS? 204 00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:06,146 YEAH. YEAH! 205 00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:09,619 ALL RIGHT. NOW, LISTEN. DO ME A FAVOR. 206 00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:12,950 BRING THIS DOWN, PLEASE, TO THAT LADY IN BLUE. 207 00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:14,856 WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE, A FREAKIN' MAILMAN? 208 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,858 HERE. LOOK. 209 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:17,990 BUY YOURSELF A BEER. 210 00:09:18,025 --> 00:09:20,325 HEY. SPECIAL DELIVERY. 211 00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:23,098 LOOK. THEY'RE NOT EVEN WATCHING THE GAME. 212 00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:26,630 IT LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE CHECKING OUT BRUNO'S BACK. LOOK. 213 00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:28,097 Man: COME ON, BATTER! 214 00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:29,795 Woman: PLAY BALL! 215 00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:32,267 OKAY. I BET SHE GOES FOR THE TOY SURPRISE FIRST. 216 00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:33,865 WHAT'S THIS? 217 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,037 WHAT DO I KNOW? SECRET ADMIRER. 218 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,051 SECRET ADMIRER. 219 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,879 WOW! 220 00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:42,384 COME ON! 221 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,215 COME ON! 222 00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:47,761 [ GASPS, LAUGHS ] 223 00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:50,058 THAT'S HYSTERICAL! 224 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:53,090 [ CROWD SHOUTING ] 225 00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:00,326 [ GASPS ] 226 00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:01,697 THEY'RE BACK. 227 00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:04,035 AND THEY'RE REALLY DORKY-LOOKING. 228 00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:06,041 AND THEY'RE RIGHT BEHIND YOU. HOW ABOUT THAT, HUH? 229 00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:08,313 OH, YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T LOOK AT MEN LIKE THIS. 230 00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:11,751 IT'S DEMEANING. VISUAL DISMEMBERMENT, REMEMBER? 231 00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:12,909 ALL RIGHT, LIGHTEN UP. 232 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,846 IT'S JUST A DAY AT THE BALL PARK. 233 00:10:14,882 --> 00:10:16,952 I THINK I'M GONNA HAVE TO GIVE THE NOD TO MATTINGLY 234 00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:18,724 FOR THE BEST SEAT IN THE MAJORS. 235 00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:20,892 ARE YOU NUTS? WHAT ABOUT BO? 236 00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:23,021 I MEAN, ARE WE TALKING SIZE OR SHAPE HERE? 237 00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:25,756 I THINK I'M SECURE ENOUGH IN MY OWN SEXUALITY 238 00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:28,733 TO SAY THAT MATTINGLY'S ASS KICKS ASS ON ANY OTHER ASS. 239 00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:30,902 YOU ARE SO ENLIGHTENED. 240 00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:32,271 UH, I'M DAVID. 241 00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:33,829 CARRIE. 242 00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:34,997 ELI MATTINGLY. 243 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:36,865 [ LAUGHS ] HI. I'M ZOE. 244 00:10:36,904 --> 00:10:37,874 HOW ARE YOU? 245 00:10:37,905 --> 00:10:39,165 I SEE YOU BROUGHT A GLOVE. 246 00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:40,966 UM, IT'S ZOE'S. 247 00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:43,138 WE COULD TELL. IT KIND OF MATCHES HER HAIR. 248 00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:44,206 OH! 249 00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:45,914 WELL, IF IT WERE SKIN TONE, 250 00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:48,046 I GUESS I COULD SAY THE SAME THING ABOUT YOU. 251 00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:50,281 OUCH. A HAIR-LOSS JOKE. VERY GOOD. 252 00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:51,277 LUCKILY FOR ME, 253 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:53,948 WOMEN ARE VERY ATTRACTED TO A RECEDING HAIRLINE. 254 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,787 OH, I DON'T THINK SO. 255 00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:57,263 I SAID "WOMEN." 256 00:10:57,290 --> 00:11:00,230 YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE GONNA MAKE THE CATCH, UM, 257 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:03,000 IT'S EASIER IF YOU DO IT LIKE THIS. 258 00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:03,960 YEAH. THERE YOU GO. 259 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,297 OKAY. THANK YOU. 260 00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:06,972 SURE. 261 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,140 COURSE, I DON'T THINK THERE'S GONNA BE ANY HOMERS 262 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,769 WITH THE WIND BLOWING IN. 263 00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:13,169 [ CROWD MURMURING ] 264 00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:15,076 OH! 265 00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:17,343 [ LAUGHS ] 266 00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:19,007 GREAT GRAB. 267 00:11:19,046 --> 00:11:21,876 OF COURSE, WHEN YOU HIT IT THAT HARD, YOU KNOW, 268 00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:24,115 CUTS RIGHT THROUGH THAT WIND. 269 00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:26,891 Crowd: [ Chanting ] THROW IT BACK! THROW IT BACK! 270 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:27,820 THROW IT BACK! 271 00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:30,155 HOUSE RULES -- BLEACHER ETIQUETTE DICTATES 272 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:33,060 THAT YOU GOT TO THROW BACK A HOMER BY THE OPPOSITION. 273 00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:36,763 THROW IT BACK! THROW IT BACK! THROW IT BACK! 274 00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:37,927 YES! 275 00:11:37,965 --> 00:11:40,395 A WOMAN AFTER MY OWN HEART. 276 00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:42,903 SO, UM, HOW ABOUT AN AUTOGRAPH 277 00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:45,236 AND, UH, PHONE NUMBER? 278 00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:46,912 IT WAS ON THE BALL. 279 00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:49,780 NO. YEAH. 280 00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:52,314 NO! 281 00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:54,877 [ Echoing ] NO! 282 00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:55,875 OHH! 283 00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:58,016 AH, CHILL, BABE. IT AIN'T OVER. 284 00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,191 IT'S OVER. 285 00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:01,249 NO, IT ISN'T. LICK ME. 286 00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:03,788 WHAT ARE WE, SIEGFRIED AND ROY? 287 00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:04,964 AW! 288 00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:06,292 ICK! 289 00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:09,155 AND? 290 00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:10,826 HMM. 291 00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:13,274 VOILà. 292 00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:17,442 SO I GIVE THE NUMBER ON THE TATTOO TO ELI. 293 00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:18,940 I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A LAUGH. 294 00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:21,542 AND WHAT HAPPENS? DAVID CALLS CARRIE. 295 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,384 CARRIE BLOWS UP AT ME. 296 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:26,450 SEE, SHE THINKS DAVID IS HUGELY UNIMPRESSIVE. 297 00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:27,979 SO I GO, "FINE. 298 00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:29,945 "IF DAVID IS SO HUGELY UNIMPRESSIVE, 299 00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:32,823 WHY HAVE YOU ACCEPTED HIS INVITATION TO THE MOVIES?" 300 00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:35,363 SO SHE GOES, "WELL, I FELT SORRY FOR THE GUY. 301 00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,058 HE SOUNDED SO DESPERATE." 302 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,030 THEN SHE LOCKS HERSELF IN THE BATHROOM 303 00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:42,199 AND REMOVES ALL SUPERFLUOUS BODY HAIR. 304 00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:44,329 I'M WORRIED. 305 00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:49,098 [ GARGLING ] 306 00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:50,996 THE THREE F's OF DATING -- 307 00:12:51,038 --> 00:12:53,068 ONE -- FILM, TWO -- FOOD, 308 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,406 THREE -- FUCK. 309 00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:55,981 CAN YOU WRITE THAT DOWN? 310 00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:57,979 YOU'LL REMEMBER. YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE. 311 00:12:58,011 --> 00:12:59,951 AND YOU'RE GONNA NEED THIS. 312 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,010 WHAT'S THAT? 313 00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:03,848 REMEMBER HOW BATMAN HAD A UTILITY BELT? YEAH. 314 00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:04,994 YEAH, WELL, HE SHOULD'VE HAD ONE OF THESE. 315 00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:06,348 HE WOULD'VE DONE A LOT BETTER. 316 00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:09,086 I GOT EVERYTHING YOU NEED FOR THE DATE, ALL RIGHT? 317 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,092 I GOT A TONGUE DEPRESSOR IN HERE. 318 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,934 I GOT A LITTLE DENTAL DAM HERE FOR YOU. WHAT IS THAT? 319 00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:16,431 SAFE SEX INCLUDES OUR DEAR FRIEND FELLATIO. 320 00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:17,363 HIYA. HI. 321 00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,367 WHERE DO YOU GET THIS STUFF? 322 00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:21,839 REMEMBER THE DENTAL HYGIENIST I WAS DATING? 323 00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:22,999 KEPT A FEW SAMPLES. 324 00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:27,106 NOW, THE CONDOMS ARE FROM MY OWN PERSONAL STOCK, HUH? 325 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,480 THE GOOD STUFF. 326 00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:29,878 [ SCOFFS ] 327 00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:32,010 ELI, LOOK, IT'S... IT'S A FIRST DATE. 328 00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:35,075 IT'S, WELL, MY FUTURE WIFE. 329 00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:37,575 WE HAVE FILM? YES. 330 00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:40,047 FOOD? PROBABLY. 331 00:13:40,087 --> 00:13:42,057 ANYTHING ELSE AFTER THAT, I CAN'T REALLY SAY. 332 00:13:42,089 --> 00:13:43,119 ALL RIGHT. 333 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:46,356 WORST COMES TO WORST, YOU MAKE BALLOON ANIMALS. 334 00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:51,328 SO I HAVEN'T BEEN TO A MOVIE -- SO, WHAT DO YOU, UH... 335 00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:53,334 SO, UH... I'M SORRY. 336 00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:55,036 [ Laughing ] NO, SORRY. WHAT? 337 00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:57,168 NO, JUST -- YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TO A MOVIE, OR... 338 00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:58,944 NO, WHAT WERE YOU GONNA SAY? 339 00:13:58,972 --> 00:14:02,142 UM, UH, WHAT -- WHAT DO YOU DO? 340 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,305 THAT, ACTUALLY. 341 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,613 MM. I WORK FOR THE MAYOR. 342 00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:07,545 OUR MAYOR? 343 00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:10,020 YOUR MAYOR. I-I WORK IN HIS OFFICE. 344 00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:11,650 I MEAN, FOR HIS OFFICE. 345 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,124 HEY. 346 00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:16,224 SOUNDS -- SOUNDS IMPRESSIVE. 347 00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:18,256 IT'S NOT. 348 00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:20,031 WELL, I'M IMPRESSED. 349 00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:21,490 YEAH? 350 00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:24,498 WELL, YOU'RE EASILY IMPRESSED. I LIKE THAT IN A MAN. 351 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:27,471 I'LL REMEMBER THAT. 352 00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:32,110 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS, CHAIRS SQUEAKING ] 353 00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:34,609 THIS GUY IS KICKING MY SEAT. 354 00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:35,941 OH, I HATE THAT. 355 00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:37,436 [ LAUGHING ] 356 00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:39,607 HEY, COULD YOU JUST KNOCK IT OFF? 357 00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:41,146 KNOCK WHAT OFF? 358 00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:43,321 WELL, ANYWAY, YOU SEE THAT GUY THERE? YEAH. 359 00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:46,090 ARE THEY BOTHERING YOU? 360 00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:47,049 DO YOU WANT TO MOVE? 361 00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:49,417 NO. 362 00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:50,416 HEY. 363 00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:52,187 WHY BOTHER WHISPERING? 364 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,325 [ GRUNTS ] 365 00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:00,128 * OH, DARLING... 366 00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:02,597 TALK ABOUT VIOLENCE IN THE MOVIES. 367 00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:05,035 BOY, YOUR EYE IS REALLY SWOLLEN. 368 00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:08,112 YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD ME. WE WOULDN'T HAVE STAYED. 369 00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:10,111 NO, NO, NO. IT'S...GLANCING BLOW. 370 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,983 I WANTED YOU TO SEE THE MOVIE. 371 00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:13,582 OH, THAT'S VERY THOUGHTFUL OF YOU. 372 00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:15,083 OOH. 373 00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:16,075 IS THAT BETTER? 374 00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:17,946 CONSIDERABLY. 375 00:15:17,985 --> 00:15:19,545 THANKS. 376 00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:23,155 [ SIGHS ] 377 00:15:24,992 --> 00:15:29,132 SO, UM... WHAT ARE YOU GONNA HAVE? 378 00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:31,002 UH... 379 00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:32,331 STRUDEL SOUNDS GOOD. 380 00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:34,995 OH, NO. NO. YOU NEVER ORDER THE STRUDEL. 381 00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:36,995 SEE, RESTAURANTS ALWAYS ARE OUT OF IT, 382 00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:39,007 SO THEY TRY AND PUSH THE CHEESECAKE ON YOU 383 00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:40,469 'CAUSE THEY HAVE TOO MUCH OF THAT. 384 00:15:40,507 --> 00:15:42,477 YOU READY? 385 00:15:42,509 --> 00:15:45,009 UH, YEAH. I'M GONNA HAVE THE STRUDEL. 386 00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:46,045 WE'RE OUT. 387 00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:48,379 WELL, GEE, WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND? 388 00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:51,145 CHEESECAKE IS GOOD. 389 00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:52,494 SOUP. SOUP. 390 00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:53,689 LARGE BOWL? 391 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,060 TWO SPOONS. 392 00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:56,658 HMM. HOW ROMANTIC. 393 00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:59,259 I'M CHARGING YOU FOR THE EXTRA SPOON. 394 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,632 I'LL SPLURGE. 395 00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:06,670 SO, WHAT DID YOU CALL THOSE THINGS IN THE SOUP? 396 00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,499 YOU'RE NOT JEWISH, ARE YOU? 397 00:16:08,535 --> 00:16:09,495 NO. 398 00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:11,166 I'M FROM WELLESLEY, 399 00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:15,244 A SUBURB RIVALED ONLY BY GREEN ACRES IN ETHNIC DIVERSITY. 400 00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:16,675 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 401 00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:18,749 WELL, THE LITTLE ROUND THINGS ARE CALLED MATZO BALLS, 402 00:16:18,778 --> 00:16:21,208 OR KNAIDLACH, CALLED BY MY PEOPLE. 403 00:16:21,248 --> 00:16:24,248 UM, LITTLE RAVIOLI THINGS ARE CALLED KREPLACH, 404 00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:26,794 INVENTED WHILE WE WERE WANDERING IN THE DESERT AND NEEDED SOMETHING TO EAT 405 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,759 AFTER THROWING ALL THE KNAIDLACH AT OUR ENEMIES. 406 00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:31,118 [ LAUGHS ] 407 00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:32,988 I KNEW THAT. 408 00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,434 WELL, THANKS FOR SEEING MY MOVIE. 409 00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:38,103 SURE. DID YOU LIKE IT? 410 00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:40,401 [ INHALES DEEPLY ] UH, NO. 411 00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:42,573 I-I LIKED YOU. 412 00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:46,112 THE WAY THAT YOU LAUGHED AT ALL THE WRONG STUFF 413 00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:49,179 AND CRIED WITH HER. 414 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,283 YOU'RE NOT CYNICAL. 415 00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:58,145 YOU SURRENDERED YOURSELF TO THE STORY. 416 00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:01,686 I LIKE THAT. 417 00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:12,531 UM, YOU KNOW, DAVID, 418 00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:16,135 I-I DON'T THINK THAT WE SHOULD GET INTO ANYTHING PHYSICAL. 419 00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:17,139 OW! 420 00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:19,640 OOH. THAT HURTS. 421 00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:20,812 THAT'S ONE OF THOSE CLICHé LINES 422 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,340 THEY TEACH THEM TO SAY IN "COSMO," 423 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,675 AND SHE JUST FIRED IT RIGHT AT HIM. 424 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:24,910 REAL NICE. 425 00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:28,254 I MEAN, THE GUY JUST WANTED A KISS, NOT "THE STORY OF O." 426 00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:31,421 I-I DIDN'T... 427 00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:33,491 COULD YOU PLEASE REPEAT THAT? 428 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:34,790 [ CHUCKLES SOFTLY ] 429 00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:37,591 I JUST DON'T THINK WE SHOULD RUSH INTO ANYTHING. 430 00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:40,434 [ BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY ] 431 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:41,760 WHAT CHANGED YOUR MIND? 432 00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:43,134 I STARTED KISSING YOU. 433 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,398 [ THUD, GLASS BREAKS ] 434 00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:49,244 WHAT WAS THAT? THE LAMP. 435 00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:51,099 OH. 436 00:17:51,138 --> 00:17:52,408 [ CAT HOWLS ] 437 00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:54,109 WHAT WAS THAT? CAT. 438 00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:55,111 OH. 439 00:17:55,142 --> 00:17:56,742 [ BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY ] 440 00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:57,876 W-WHOA! 441 00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,280 [ GRUNTS ] 442 00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:02,478 HAAGEN-DAZS? 443 00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:04,145 DON'T PANIC, DUDE. 444 00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:07,824 WE'RE LIKE HELL'S ANGELS. WE SHARE EVERYTHING. 445 00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:11,224 [ LAUGHS ] 446 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:22,740 [ GLASS BREAKS ] 447 00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:26,835 [ SIGHS ] 448 00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:29,343 OH, I'M SORRY. 449 00:18:29,376 --> 00:18:31,206 M-MAYBE WE CAN FIX IT OR SOMETHING. 450 00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:33,154 THAT'S MY PARENTS' WEDDING PICTURE. 451 00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:34,450 IT'S 35 YEARS OLD. 452 00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:36,381 SHIT. 453 00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:40,516 WELL, MAYBE WE CAN GLUE IT OR...SOMETHING. 454 00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:41,623 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 455 00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:47,734 KEEP AWAY FROM MY PRECIOUS DAUGHTER. 456 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,230 KENNETH, THEY'RE JUST NECKING. 457 00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:51,163 OH, YES? 458 00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:52,928 WELL, MAYBE WE BETTER CHECK THE CONTENTS 459 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,395 OF HIS BAT UTILITY BELT. 460 00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:59,265 WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, SIR, WE ARE CONSENTING ADULTS. 461 00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:02,876 CARRIE IS AN ADULT, AND YOU ARE CONSENTING. 462 00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:05,179 MY DAUGHTER IS NOT GOING TO BE 463 00:19:05,212 --> 00:19:06,852 ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR LITTLE CONQUESTS. 464 00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:08,719 DO YOU HEAR ME, YOUNG MAN? 465 00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:09,878 KENNETH. 466 00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:11,646 Carrie: DAVID, I'M SORRY, BUT, UM... 467 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:16,260 IT'S LATE, AND I HAVE TO BE AT AEROBICS AT 5:30. 468 00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:17,419 A.M.? MM-HMM. 469 00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:19,587 BRYANT GUMBEL SLEEPS LATER THAN THAT. 470 00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:21,256 [ CHUCKLES SOFTLY ] 471 00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:22,934 NO. I-I UNDERSTAND. 472 00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:24,262 IT'S... 473 00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:25,767 UM, HERE. 474 00:19:25,798 --> 00:19:28,598 THANKS. 475 00:19:28,635 --> 00:19:30,795 I'M KIND OF TIRED MYSELF. 476 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:34,270 GOOD NIGHT. 477 00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:35,307 GOOD NIGHT. 478 00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:43,853 GENTLEMEN, WE CAME, WE SAW, WE KICKED POMBOOSE. 479 00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:47,393 AH. NEXT WEEK, TRY 5:00, 5:30. ANY QUESTIONS? 480 00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:50,260 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. CROWN'S DATE -- UH, RECAP, INNING BY INNING. 481 00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:51,760 WE LUCKED OUT IN THIS MARKET, BABE. 482 00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:53,431 OH, WE GOT DUFFED. [ CHUCKLES ] 483 00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:56,630 SUFFICE TO SAY, I HAVEN'T SEEN ANY BALLOON-ANIMAL GIRAFFES 484 00:19:56,663 --> 00:19:58,403 ROAMING THE STREETS OF OUR FAIR TOWN. 485 00:19:58,431 --> 00:19:59,871 THIS CARRIE CHICK -- WHAT DOES SHE DO? 486 00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:01,729 UH, MAYOR'S OFFICE. 487 00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:03,568 UH, SPEECHWRITING, FUNDRAISING, 488 00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:05,573 STAFF WORK FOR THE MAYOR. HEY, CAN SHE FIX MY PARKING TICKETS? 489 00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:06,765 CAN SHE FIX ME UP. 490 00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:08,736 OOH. YOU SHOULD SEE THIS CHICK, MAN. 491 00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:11,405 BRUNETTE, BABY BLUES. HEY. 492 00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:12,914 TITTIES? NICE. 493 00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:14,245 [ LAUGHTER ] 494 00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:15,581 VERY NICE. 495 00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:17,445 PERHAPS THE PERFECT WOMAN. 496 00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:20,418 ELI, GENTLEMEN. UH-HUH. 497 00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:21,693 NOW, THE PERFECT WOMAN 498 00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:24,891 IS MORE THAN SIMPLY A GENETICALLY DESIRABLE COMBINATION 499 00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:26,264 OF TITS AND ASS. 500 00:20:26,293 --> 00:20:28,903 OH, AT LAST -- A REAL MAN. 501 00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:32,668 SHE'S ALSO RICH, COOKS, AND PEES STANDING UP. 502 00:20:32,699 --> 00:20:33,969 PIGS. 503 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,800 [ SNORTING ] 504 00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:38,305 [ LAUGHING ] 505 00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:40,308 I FEEL TERRIBLE ABOUT THIS. 506 00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:42,340 I MEAN, YOU SUPPOSE CARRIE AND HER FRIENDS 507 00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:44,035 ARE SITTING AROUND, SCHMOOZING LIKE THIS? 508 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,946 WHAT, DO YOU THINK SHE'S A CHEERLEADER? 509 00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:48,848 SHE'S NOT SITTING AROUND LIKE OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN IN "GREASE," PAL. 510 00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:50,921 * TELL ME MORE, TELL ME MORE * 511 00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:52,920 * WAS IT LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? 512 00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:56,522 [ TELEPHONE DIALING ] 513 00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:00,661 Man on television: SOLID SHOT ON THE LEFT-HAND LANE. 514 00:21:00,693 --> 00:21:02,033 SO FERRARO, WHO'S PLAYING A LITTLE... 515 00:21:02,061 --> 00:21:03,931 YOU GONNA CALL HER? 516 00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:04,933 HMM? 517 00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:06,304 CARRIE CHICK. 518 00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:08,473 MAYBE. 519 00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:09,971 JUST MAYBE. 520 00:21:10,002 --> 00:21:12,072 [ PINS FALLING ] 521 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:13,614 YOU KNOW, CARE, 522 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,810 THERE'S NO RULE THAT SAYS YOU CAN'T CALL HIM. 523 00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:18,952 YOU REALIZE, OF COURSE, THERE'S ONLY TWO SCENARIOS HERE. 524 00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:22,318 IF YOU GOT LAID, THERE'S NO REASON TO CALL HER AGAIN. 525 00:21:22,349 --> 00:21:25,619 AND IF YOU DIDN'T, NO REASON TO CALL HER AGAIN. 526 00:21:25,652 --> 00:21:28,862 THE BEACH MASTER IS THE MOST RESPECTED AND EXALTED 527 00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:30,058 OF ALL THE MALES. 528 00:21:30,089 --> 00:21:33,729 BUT NOTICE WHEN THE FEMALE ENTERS HIS FOCUSES, 529 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,500 EVEN THE REVERED BEACH MASTER IS STRUCK 530 00:21:36,529 --> 00:21:38,999 BY INNATE AWKWARDNESS. 531 00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:42,441 ALL HE DOES NOW IS LIE THERE, INERT, 532 00:21:42,469 --> 00:21:44,939 LIKE A GIANT BOWL OF MARMALADE, 533 00:21:44,971 --> 00:21:48,611 WHILE SHE WAITS... AND WAITS... 534 00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:49,941 AND WAITS. 535 00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:52,576 THE FEMALE UNDERSTANDS THIS RITUAL. 536 00:21:52,612 --> 00:21:55,382 BUT THAT DOES NOT MAKE IT ANY EASIER FOR HER. 537 00:21:55,415 --> 00:21:59,415 AS THE BEACH MASTER FEIGNS SUPPOSED INDIFFERENCES, 538 00:21:59,452 --> 00:22:01,752 THIS STALEMATE CAN ONLY BE BROKEN 539 00:22:01,788 --> 00:22:06,528 IF HE AND SHE LEAVE THEIR RESPECTIVE FIELDS 540 00:22:06,559 --> 00:22:08,359 AND MEET IN A NEUTRAL AREA, 541 00:22:08,395 --> 00:22:12,965 PERHAPS HERE, IN THE OCEAN'S ICY DEPTHS, TO FROLIC. 542 00:22:12,999 --> 00:22:15,769 [ TELEPHONE RINGING ] 543 00:22:18,037 --> 00:22:20,367 ONE OF MY FAVORITES. 544 00:22:20,407 --> 00:22:21,867 YEAH, ME TOO. 545 00:22:21,908 --> 00:22:23,378 ITS COLORS, RIGHT? 546 00:22:23,410 --> 00:22:24,540 NO, NO. 547 00:22:24,577 --> 00:22:26,507 IT'S JUST THAT WHENEVER I'VE BEEN SCALPED 548 00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:28,146 WITH A PARTICULARLY TREACHEROUS HAIRCUT, 549 00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:29,980 I-I CHECK OUT THE VIN MAN'S DO. 550 00:22:30,016 --> 00:22:32,846 COME ON. THE GUY COULD CARE LESS ABOUT APPEARANCES. 551 00:22:32,885 --> 00:22:35,515 I MEAN, THE WAY HE PERCEIVED THE WORLD IN HIS MIND, 552 00:22:35,555 --> 00:22:36,685 HE -- HE WAS A GENIUS. 553 00:22:36,723 --> 00:22:39,093 YEAH, AGREED, ALBEIT A SICK, NUTTY GENIUS. 554 00:22:39,125 --> 00:22:40,955 THIS IS A GUY WHO LOPPED OFF HIS EAR 555 00:22:40,993 --> 00:22:42,703 AND FEDERAL-EXPRESSED IT TO HIS HONEY. 556 00:22:46,599 --> 00:22:49,999 VINNY, BABE, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, HUH? 557 00:22:50,036 --> 00:22:51,866 WALK WITH ME. TALK TO ME. 558 00:22:51,904 --> 00:22:53,944 YOU DON'T CUT OFF ANYTHING FOR ANYBODY. 559 00:22:53,973 --> 00:22:55,683 NOT ABOVE THE WAIST, NOT BELOW. 560 00:22:55,708 --> 00:22:56,978 IT AIN'T WORTH IT. 561 00:22:57,009 --> 00:23:00,149 DO YOU REMEMBER SAMSON AT ALL? 562 00:23:00,179 --> 00:23:02,519 I DON'T CARE IF MICHELLE FUCKING PFEIFFER 563 00:23:02,549 --> 00:23:04,619 AND MADONNA WANT TO GIVE YOU A PEDICURE AND A TRIM. 564 00:23:04,651 --> 00:23:07,491 THE ANSWER IS NO. NO CAN DO. 565 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,660 Carrie: YEAH. O-OKAY. [ TELEPHONE RINGING ] 566 00:23:09,689 --> 00:23:12,459 LOOK, I REALLY DON'T THINK IT'S A MISTAKE ON OUR PART. 567 00:23:12,492 --> 00:23:15,132 BUT IF IT IS, YOU CAN BE SURE I'LL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF IT. 568 00:23:17,530 --> 00:23:21,500 YEAH, ZONING LAW PASSED ON JULY 14, 1973. 569 00:23:21,534 --> 00:23:23,174 NEXT TIME YOU DON'T DO YOUR HOMEWORK, 570 00:23:23,202 --> 00:23:24,872 BRING A NOTE FROM YOUR MOTHER. 571 00:23:26,105 --> 00:23:28,035 ALL RIGHT. TERRIFIC. 572 00:23:29,108 --> 00:23:30,638 FAX ME. 573 00:23:30,677 --> 00:23:32,547 ALL RIGHT. I WANT A TURKEY ON WHOLE WHEAT. 574 00:23:32,579 --> 00:23:34,879 TELL LINDA WHATEVER YOU WANT. WE'LL GO THROUGH THE NORTH END AS WE EAT, OKAY? 575 00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:36,224 HEY, DAVID. 576 00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,048 I THOUGHT I'D TAKE YOU OUT TO LUNCH. 577 00:23:38,084 --> 00:23:39,224 OH, I'M SORRY. 578 00:23:39,251 --> 00:23:40,921 ADAM, DID YOU MEET DAVID? 579 00:23:40,953 --> 00:23:42,023 NO. 580 00:23:42,989 --> 00:23:44,919 NICE TO MEET YOU. HOW ARE YOU? 581 00:23:44,957 --> 00:23:46,927 I WOULD LOVE TO, BUT I GOT SO MUCH TO DO, HON. 582 00:23:46,959 --> 00:23:48,929 WHY DON'T YOU GO AHEAD? I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT. 583 00:23:48,961 --> 00:23:50,231 NO, NO. IT'S OKAY. 584 00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:51,932 I-I UNDERSTAND. 585 00:23:51,964 --> 00:23:53,774 OKAY. 586 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:54,930 SORRY. 587 00:23:57,770 --> 00:24:00,540 HEY, HOW ABOUT A MOVIE TONIGHT? 588 00:24:00,573 --> 00:24:01,713 IS ADAM COMING? 589 00:24:01,741 --> 00:24:03,011 HE'D LOVE TO, 590 00:24:03,042 --> 00:24:05,612 BUT THURSDAY NIGHTS IS HIS GAY-RIGHTS MEETING. 591 00:24:05,645 --> 00:24:06,905 REALLY? 592 00:24:06,946 --> 00:24:08,046 [ Laughing ] NO. 593 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:10,450 BUT I THOUGHT IT'D MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. 594 00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:16,119 [ SLOW INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING ] 595 00:24:20,126 --> 00:24:22,026 COFFEE? THAT'S ALL? COFFEE? 596 00:24:22,061 --> 00:24:22,831 YES, COFFEE. 597 00:24:22,862 --> 00:24:24,862 THE STUFF FROM BRAZIL? IN A CUP? 598 00:24:24,897 --> 00:24:27,167 YOU KNOW, I'D ALSO LIKE TO HAVE THE... 599 00:24:27,199 --> 00:24:28,869 NEVER MIND. 600 00:24:28,901 --> 00:24:31,001 THERE'S A $2.50 MINIMUM PER PERSON. 601 00:24:31,037 --> 00:24:33,567 WE UNDERSTAND AND ACCEPT YOUR CONDITIONS. 602 00:24:35,041 --> 00:24:36,511 I NEVER LIKED YOU. 603 00:24:36,543 --> 00:24:39,013 YES, WE KNOW THAT. AND THAT'S OKAY. 604 00:24:41,948 --> 00:24:44,918 [ LAUGHS ] WHY DIDN'T YOU LET ME ORDER? 605 00:24:49,889 --> 00:24:51,559 [ GASPS ] STRUDEL! 606 00:24:51,591 --> 00:24:52,731 YOUR OWN RECIPE? 607 00:24:52,759 --> 00:24:54,259 ENTENMANN'S. [ LAUGHS ] 608 00:24:54,293 --> 00:24:57,803 [ BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY ] 609 00:24:57,830 --> 00:24:59,270 Carrie: OH! [ THUD ] 610 00:24:59,298 --> 00:25:00,668 NEW LAMP. OH. 611 00:25:02,735 --> 00:25:03,865 [ CAT HOWLS ] 612 00:25:03,903 --> 00:25:05,043 David: SAME CAT? 613 00:25:05,071 --> 00:25:05,841 [ LAUGHS ] 614 00:25:05,872 --> 00:25:08,172 [ BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY, LAUGHING ] 615 00:25:08,207 --> 00:25:09,177 OH! OH! 616 00:25:09,208 --> 00:25:11,038 [ GRUNTS ] 617 00:25:12,244 --> 00:25:14,054 WAIT. NO ROOMMATE? 618 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:16,050 ZOE'S GONE THE WHOLE WEEKEND. 619 00:25:16,082 --> 00:25:18,752 LET'S GET THE HAAGEN-DAZS. 620 00:25:26,959 --> 00:25:28,059 HERE. 621 00:25:28,094 --> 00:25:29,064 WHERE? 622 00:25:29,095 --> 00:25:30,055 THERE. 623 00:25:30,096 --> 00:25:31,756 [ LAUGHS ] 624 00:25:31,798 --> 00:25:33,598 AND THIS IS SUPPOSED TO PROVE...? 625 00:25:33,633 --> 00:25:35,773 HOW GULLIBLE YOU ARE AFTER GREAT SEX. 626 00:25:35,802 --> 00:25:37,602 YEAH? AND YOU NEED PROOF? 627 00:25:37,637 --> 00:25:39,867 ACTUALLY, THE MELTING POINT WILL DETERMINE 628 00:25:39,906 --> 00:25:41,866 THE HOTTEST PART OF YOUR BODY... 629 00:25:41,908 --> 00:25:43,908 AND, THUS, THE MOST SUSCEPTIBLE. 630 00:25:43,943 --> 00:25:45,043 OH, COME ON! IT'S RUNNING! 631 00:25:45,077 --> 00:25:46,247 THE MOST SENSITIVE. 632 00:25:46,278 --> 00:25:48,048 DAVID, THESE ARE NEW SHEETS. 633 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:50,750 THE MOST EROGENOUS. [ LAUGHS ] 634 00:25:50,783 --> 00:25:53,753 THIS IS LIKE SOME BIZARRE CHECKUP FROM MR. FREEZE. 635 00:25:53,786 --> 00:25:55,886 WAIT TILL YOU SEE MY BILL. 636 00:25:55,922 --> 00:26:00,032 Eli: IF YOU FUCK HER, SHE WILL COME. 637 00:26:00,059 --> 00:26:02,899 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 638 00:26:02,929 --> 00:26:04,059 STOP. 639 00:26:04,096 --> 00:26:05,896 STOP. 640 00:26:05,932 --> 00:26:09,242 Eli: IF YOU FUCK HER, SHE WILL COME. 641 00:26:09,268 --> 00:26:11,238 OH. [ LAUGHS ] 642 00:26:11,270 --> 00:26:12,770 PSST. 643 00:26:12,805 --> 00:26:15,775 PSST. DAVID! LISTEN UP. 644 00:26:15,808 --> 00:26:16,708 CHAMP, YOU LOOKED GOOD. 645 00:26:16,743 --> 00:26:17,883 YOU LOOKED GOOD. IT WAS GREAT, WONDERFUL. 646 00:26:17,910 --> 00:26:19,250 RIGHT NOW YOU'RE IN THE GRIPS OF HER HORMONAL MADNESS, 647 00:26:19,278 --> 00:26:22,308 WHICH IS GOOD. DON'T GET ME WRONG. IT'S A LOT OF FUN TO WATCH. 648 00:26:22,348 --> 00:26:25,018 JUST DON'T GET CARRIED AWAY HERE, OKAY? THIS IS BUSINESS. 649 00:26:25,051 --> 00:26:27,321 ALL RIGHT? STICK AND MOVE. STICK AND MOVE. 650 00:26:27,353 --> 00:26:30,093 I MEAN, DON'T LET YOUR EMOTIONS GET THE BETTER OF YOU HERE. 651 00:26:30,122 --> 00:26:31,622 VERY IMPORTANT. 652 00:26:31,658 --> 00:26:32,888 AND, DAVID... 653 00:26:32,925 --> 00:26:34,355 WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT -- 654 00:26:34,393 --> 00:26:37,603 I REPEAT -- DO NOT SPEND THE NIGHT. 655 00:26:39,231 --> 00:26:40,901 [ LAUGHS ] 656 00:26:40,933 --> 00:26:43,043 EITHER I'VE DEVELOPED A HORRIBLE SCALP PROBLEM 657 00:26:43,069 --> 00:26:45,939 OR I HAVE RUM RAISIN ALL IN MY HAIR. 658 00:26:45,972 --> 00:26:47,972 OH, HERE. LET ME DO IT. 659 00:26:48,007 --> 00:26:49,107 YOU DON'T HAVE TO. 660 00:26:49,141 --> 00:26:50,681 I WANT TO. 661 00:26:55,014 --> 00:26:56,084 HOW'S THAT? 662 00:26:56,115 --> 00:26:57,145 MMM... 663 00:26:57,183 --> 00:27:00,153 OH, YOU LIKE THAT? 664 00:27:00,186 --> 00:27:01,946 MM-HMM. 665 00:27:05,191 --> 00:27:08,861 I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS LITTLE... 666 00:27:08,895 --> 00:27:12,695 MY DAD USED TO DO THIS FOR ME WHEN I COULDN'T SLEEP. 667 00:27:12,732 --> 00:27:15,432 WOULD YOU DO THIS FOR ME EVERY NIGHT? 668 00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:18,267 COMB HER HAIR EVERY NIGHT? WHAT AM I, NUTS? 669 00:27:18,304 --> 00:27:23,284 THE IMPLICATION OF THAT QUESTION IS DOWNRIGHT UNNERVING. 670 00:27:23,309 --> 00:27:27,979 BUT YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES YOU...JUST CAN'T HELP YOURSELF. 671 00:27:29,115 --> 00:27:32,945 I MEAN, YOU GOT TO SAY WHAT YOU FEEL. 672 00:27:32,985 --> 00:27:35,955 SOMETIMES IT -- IT JUST COMES OUT. 673 00:27:43,095 --> 00:27:45,055 ABSOLUTELY. 674 00:27:45,097 --> 00:27:48,227 I WOULD DO THIS FOR YOU EVERY NIGHT. 675 00:27:48,267 --> 00:27:50,097 [ LAUGHS SOFTLY ] 676 00:27:58,945 --> 00:28:00,045 THAT'S RIGHT. 677 00:28:00,079 --> 00:28:02,879 WE CALL THE FOLLOWING STAGE IN THIS NEW RELATIONSHIP 678 00:28:02,915 --> 00:28:06,015 "THE SICKENING PHASE," DURING WHICH HE DOESN'T CARE 679 00:28:06,052 --> 00:28:09,262 IF SHE WINDOW-SHOPS FOR 3 1/2 HOURS NONSTOP 680 00:28:09,288 --> 00:28:12,218 AND SHE SUDDENLY LOVES TO MEASURE THE FIRING GAP 681 00:28:12,258 --> 00:28:13,758 IN HIS SPARK PLUGS. 682 00:28:13,793 --> 00:28:14,993 AND THEY FEED EACH OTHER 683 00:28:15,027 --> 00:28:18,927 AND BASICALLY STROLL TOGETHER WITH THESE "KUMBAYA" SMILES, 684 00:28:18,965 --> 00:28:22,965 AND WHEN THEY DO ACTUALLY SPEAK, IT'S THAT BABY TALK. 685 00:28:23,002 --> 00:28:26,942 YOU KNOW THE BABY TALK YOU SHARE ONLY WITH YOUR LOVED ONE, 686 00:28:26,973 --> 00:28:30,483 'CAUSE YOU KNOW THAT SHIT DON'T FLY AT WORK WITH YOUR BUDDIES. 687 00:28:30,509 --> 00:28:33,949 Man on television: THE RIGORS OF COURTSHIP COMPLETED, 688 00:28:33,980 --> 00:28:36,850 ALL ANIMALS ENJOY A PERIOD OF BLISS 689 00:28:36,883 --> 00:28:38,483 KNOWN AS "THE SICKENING PHASE." 690 00:28:38,517 --> 00:28:41,917 HERE ARE THE ZEBRA, THE PENGUIN, 691 00:28:41,954 --> 00:28:43,424 THE APE. 692 00:28:43,455 --> 00:28:46,925 BUT PERHAPS THE MOST INTRIGUING SPECIES TO OBSERVE 693 00:28:46,959 --> 00:28:49,899 DURING THIS PHASE IS THE HUMAN BEING. 694 00:28:49,929 --> 00:28:51,029 THE COUPLE. 695 00:28:51,063 --> 00:28:54,003 HERE WE SEE THEM DERIVING MUTUAL PLEASURES 696 00:28:54,033 --> 00:28:55,503 FROM FEEDING DUCKS. 697 00:28:55,534 --> 00:28:56,604 OOPS. 698 00:28:56,635 --> 00:28:59,765 THEY HAVE SENSED OUR CAMERA'S PRESENCE. 699 00:29:00,807 --> 00:29:03,337 THEY HAVE DECIDED TO MOVE ON. 700 00:29:03,375 --> 00:29:07,075 HERE WE SEE THEM WALKING ARM IN ARM DOWN A PATH, 701 00:29:07,113 --> 00:29:09,883 AND -- NO. W-WE ARE SCIENTISTS. 702 00:29:09,916 --> 00:29:11,346 WE ARE FROM NATURE FILMS! 703 00:29:11,383 --> 00:29:12,823 WE -- OH! I'M S-- 704 00:29:12,852 --> 00:29:14,022 OH, SHIT! MAD! 705 00:29:14,053 --> 00:29:15,963 OH, GOD! PHILIPPE! 706 00:29:15,988 --> 00:29:16,988 CUT. 707 00:29:17,023 --> 00:29:20,063 ANOTHER SALIENT CHARACTERISTIC OF THIS PHASE -- 708 00:29:20,092 --> 00:29:22,192 THE LOYAL FRIENDS OF THE AFFLICTED COUPLE 709 00:29:22,228 --> 00:29:24,428 MAY AS WELL DROP OFF THE PLANET. 710 00:29:24,463 --> 00:29:27,033 I MEAN, FORGET MIDNIGHT PIG-OUTS 711 00:29:27,066 --> 00:29:28,996 WHEN THE ONLY THING THAT KEPT YOU FROM JOINING A CONVENT 712 00:29:29,035 --> 00:29:31,865 WAS FOUR BAGS OF GARLIC POTATO CHIPS AND YOUR BEST FRIEND. 713 00:29:31,904 --> 00:29:33,314 FORGET YOUR BEST FRIEND. 714 00:29:33,339 --> 00:29:36,979 I MEAN, SHE'S A SIAMESE TWIN, AND THREE'S A CROWD. 715 00:29:37,944 --> 00:29:41,454 OF COURSE, SHE STILL HAS TO MEET HIS FRIENDS. 716 00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:43,520 [ YIPPING ] 717 00:29:43,549 --> 00:29:45,419 [ SHOUTING ] 718 00:29:45,451 --> 00:29:48,251 SO, HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN DAVID? 719 00:29:48,287 --> 00:29:50,087 OH, DAVID? 720 00:29:50,122 --> 00:29:52,192 UH, DAVID'S ONE OF MY OLDEST AND CLOSEST FRIENDS. 721 00:29:52,224 --> 00:29:55,494 I MEAN, HE'S A REALLY, REALLY GREAT GUY. 722 00:29:55,527 --> 00:29:58,227 I MEAN, YOU'RE REALLY LUCKY TO HAVE SNAGGED HIM. 723 00:29:58,264 --> 00:30:00,334 I MEAN, HE'S A GREAT GUY, REALLY. 724 00:30:00,366 --> 00:30:02,026 YEAH, I KNOW. 725 00:30:02,068 --> 00:30:05,868 GOOD FRIEND, GREAT GUY. I MEAN IT. 726 00:30:05,905 --> 00:30:07,035 I BELIEVE YOU. 727 00:30:07,073 --> 00:30:09,983 THAT'S WHY IT HURTS ME SO MUCH THAT I HAVE TO ASK YOU OUT. 728 00:30:10,009 --> 00:30:11,009 EXCUSE ME? 729 00:30:11,043 --> 00:30:13,353 WELL, I MEAN, NORMALLY, I WOULD THINK TWICE ABOUT, 730 00:30:13,379 --> 00:30:15,509 YOU KNOW, HITTING ON A FRIEND'S CHICK LIKE THIS, 731 00:30:15,547 --> 00:30:19,187 BUT, CARRIE, YOU'RE JUST TOO AWESOME TO LET GO. 732 00:30:20,219 --> 00:30:21,319 [ SCOFFS ] 733 00:30:21,353 --> 00:30:22,993 LET GO. 734 00:30:24,056 --> 00:30:25,416 HMM. 735 00:30:25,457 --> 00:30:27,957 [ REGGAE MUSIC PLAYS ] 736 00:30:27,994 --> 00:30:29,534 MM, WHAT DO YOU GOT THERE? 737 00:30:29,561 --> 00:30:30,531 DROP DEAD. 738 00:30:30,562 --> 00:30:32,602 * YOU KNOW I LIKE IT 739 00:30:32,631 --> 00:30:35,971 * I LIKE IT, I LIKE IT 740 00:30:36,002 --> 00:30:38,372 * YOU KNOW I LIKE IT 741 00:30:38,404 --> 00:30:41,114 * I LIKE IT, AND I LOVE YOU SO * 742 00:30:41,140 --> 00:30:42,440 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 743 00:30:42,474 --> 00:30:45,014 OH, I GOTTA JUDGE THE PERFECT-BREAST COMPETITION. 744 00:30:45,044 --> 00:30:46,584 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 745 00:30:46,612 --> 00:30:49,482 WELL, I DON'T THINK THAT THERE, UM... 746 00:30:49,515 --> 00:30:51,145 SHOULD BE CHOCOLATE-CHIP COOKIES. 747 00:30:51,183 --> 00:30:52,483 YOU'RE RIGHT. THEY'RE TOO SMALL. 748 00:30:52,518 --> 00:30:55,118 HEY, CAN I GET A COUPLE CUPCAKES DOWN HERE?! 749 00:30:55,154 --> 00:30:57,594 * FEEL IT, FEEL IT 750 00:30:57,623 --> 00:31:00,393 * BABY, LET ME FEEL IT 751 00:31:00,426 --> 00:31:03,056 * FEEL IT, FEEL IT 752 00:31:03,095 --> 00:31:05,425 * IN MY SOUL 753 00:31:05,464 --> 00:31:07,504 FRIENDLY FACE AT LAST. 754 00:31:07,533 --> 00:31:10,343 * FEEL IT IN MY SOUL HIYA. 755 00:31:10,369 --> 00:31:12,339 HEY, WELL, WHAT ARE YOU MAKING? 756 00:31:12,371 --> 00:31:15,041 WELL, YOU KNOW, THEY HAVE THEIR PERFECT-BREAST COMPETITION, 757 00:31:15,074 --> 00:31:17,284 SO I THOUGHT I'D SCULPT THE PERFECT PENIS. 758 00:31:17,309 --> 00:31:19,479 ISN'T IT A DREAM COME TRUE? 759 00:31:19,511 --> 00:31:20,681 HEY! 760 00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:22,312 * YOU KNOW I LIKE IT 761 00:31:22,348 --> 00:31:23,948 * I LIKE IT 762 00:31:23,983 --> 00:31:25,283 FELLAS! 763 00:31:25,317 --> 00:31:26,417 LOOK! 764 00:31:26,452 --> 00:31:28,522 LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF "DUNE." 765 00:31:28,554 --> 00:31:29,964 NICE JOB, ZOE. 766 00:31:29,989 --> 00:31:31,189 HEY, YOU. NO. 767 00:31:31,223 --> 00:31:33,593 NO. YES. WE NEED MORE BODIES FOR STRIP TWISTER. 768 00:31:33,625 --> 00:31:34,925 ZOE! YES! 769 00:31:34,961 --> 00:31:36,131 AAAH! [ SIGHS ] 770 00:31:36,162 --> 00:31:38,032 SO JEALOUS. 771 00:31:38,965 --> 00:31:41,925 HEY, WAIT FOR ME! I'M DOUBLE-JOINTED! 772 00:31:41,968 --> 00:31:44,268 WAIT! I CAN DO AMAZING THINGS! 773 00:31:44,303 --> 00:31:47,973 Zoe: RIGHT HAND, BLUE. LEFT HAND, YELLOW. 774 00:31:48,007 --> 00:31:49,107 Eli: VERY NICE. 775 00:31:49,141 --> 00:31:53,251 BABIES. YOU SEE, I'M A GUY WHO KNOWS A LOT ABOUT BABIES. 776 00:31:53,279 --> 00:31:56,049 * I WANT TO LOVE SOMEBODY 777 00:31:56,082 --> 00:31:59,252 I'M N HAVING A GOOD TIME. 778 00:31:59,285 --> 00:32:02,215 OH, WAS ELI CHEATING AGAIN? 779 00:32:02,254 --> 00:32:04,624 YOU KNOW, YOU CANNOT TRUST THAT GUY 780 00:32:04,656 --> 00:32:07,156 TO CALL A CLEAN ROUND OF STRIP TWISTER. 781 00:32:07,193 --> 00:32:09,063 YEAH, HE MADE UP THE COLORS. 782 00:32:09,095 --> 00:32:11,655 WELL, YOU SEE, HE'S COLOR-BLIND LIKE A, YOU KNOW -- 783 00:32:11,697 --> 00:32:12,757 LIKE A SCHNAUZER. 784 00:32:12,798 --> 00:32:15,998 AND THEN HE BRINGS OVER THIS COOLER FULL OF ICE WATER 785 00:32:16,035 --> 00:32:17,465 AND...DUMPS IT ON ME. 786 00:32:17,503 --> 00:32:20,073 SEE, YOU GOTTA HOSE DOWN THE BOARD BETWEEN GAMES. 787 00:32:20,106 --> 00:32:22,666 OTHERWISE, IT GETS ALL GRITTY. 788 00:32:22,708 --> 00:32:24,538 AND, DAVID... YEAH? 789 00:32:24,576 --> 00:32:26,546 ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS KEEPS HITTING ON ME. 790 00:32:26,578 --> 00:32:28,278 WHAT? WHO IS IT? 791 00:32:28,314 --> 00:32:30,024 POINT HIM OUT. 792 00:32:31,083 --> 00:32:32,623 THERE. THAT GUY. 793 00:32:32,651 --> 00:32:34,051 GEORGE? 794 00:32:34,086 --> 00:32:35,446 GEORGE! 795 00:32:35,487 --> 00:32:37,287 HEY, GEORGE, OVER HERE! 796 00:32:37,323 --> 00:32:38,363 ME? 797 00:32:38,390 --> 00:32:40,130 YEAH. ALL RIGHT, DON'T MOVE. 798 00:32:42,761 --> 00:32:45,401 GEORGE, YOU'RE HITTING ON MY GIRLFRIEND? 799 00:32:45,431 --> 00:32:48,431 YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. SHE'S REALLY AWESOME, DAVID. 800 00:32:48,467 --> 00:32:50,697 YEAH, SHE IS, ISN'T SHE? 801 00:32:50,736 --> 00:32:54,406 HEY, LOOK, GEORGE, PLEASE DON'T DO IT ANYMORE, OKAY? 802 00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:55,770 I'LL TRY. 803 00:32:55,807 --> 00:32:57,377 THANKS. 804 00:32:57,409 --> 00:32:58,579 [ SCOFFS ] 805 00:33:00,146 --> 00:33:02,606 LOOK, SO, MY FRIENDS DON'T SIT AROUND 806 00:33:02,648 --> 00:33:04,348 DISCUSSING SUSAN SONTAG. 807 00:33:04,383 --> 00:33:07,593 FACE IT, DAVID -- YOUR FRIENDS COULDN'T DISCUSS DR. SEUSS. 808 00:33:07,619 --> 00:33:09,219 THEY'RE NORMAL PEOPLE, CARRIE. 809 00:33:09,255 --> 00:33:12,555 IS IT NORMAL FOR GEORGE TO PROPOSITION ME? 810 00:33:12,591 --> 00:33:14,431 GEORGE PROPOSITIONS EVERYONE. 811 00:33:14,460 --> 00:33:15,230 TERRIFIC. 812 00:33:15,261 --> 00:33:17,201 AND WHAT ABOUT ELI RAILROADING ME 813 00:33:17,229 --> 00:33:19,069 INTO THAT DEGRADING BEACH GAME? 814 00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,470 DAVID, IF -- IF IT'S POP PSYCHOLOGY YOU WANT -- 815 00:33:23,502 --> 00:33:25,802 "I'M OKAY, YOU'RE OKAY" -- 816 00:33:25,837 --> 00:33:27,537 YOUR FRIENDS ARE DICKHEADS. 817 00:33:31,843 --> 00:33:33,813 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS, CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS ] 818 00:33:33,845 --> 00:33:35,275 [ LOUD CRUNCH ] 819 00:33:44,590 --> 00:33:45,820 [ CRUNCHING ] 820 00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:47,187 [ CHUCKLES ] 821 00:33:47,226 --> 00:33:48,686 EXCUSE ME. 822 00:33:50,562 --> 00:33:52,832 CHARLES, HAVE YOU SEEN, UH, CARRIE? 823 00:33:52,864 --> 00:33:55,704 I BELIEVE LIZBETH IS SHOWING THE NEW CHINA PATTERN. 824 00:33:55,734 --> 00:33:58,244 COME ON, COME ON, JOIN US. WE'RE PLAYING CHARADES. 825 00:33:58,270 --> 00:33:59,810 CHARADES. CHARADES. CHARADES. 826 00:33:59,838 --> 00:34:02,668 OH, I JUST LOVE CHARADES. 827 00:34:02,708 --> 00:34:04,408 THAT'S RIGHT, WE'RE PLAYING CHARADES. 828 00:34:04,443 --> 00:34:06,713 COME ON, EVERYBODY, CHARADES. BUFFY, JODY, SISSY. 829 00:34:06,745 --> 00:34:09,175 BRIAN, KEITH, YOU PLAY, TOO. 830 00:34:09,215 --> 00:34:10,545 OKAY. 831 00:34:10,582 --> 00:34:12,252 I GO FIRST. 832 00:34:12,284 --> 00:34:14,354 YOU ALWAYS GO FIRST. 833 00:34:14,386 --> 00:34:15,846 CHIPPER'S HOST. HE'S GOT DIBS. 834 00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:17,287 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 835 00:34:17,323 --> 00:34:18,763 ALL RIGHT. 836 00:34:20,859 --> 00:34:22,329 IT'S A MOVIE. 837 00:34:22,361 --> 00:34:23,661 "FATAL ATTRACTION." 838 00:34:25,864 --> 00:34:27,134 [ LAUGHS ] 839 00:34:27,166 --> 00:34:28,166 LUCKY GUESS. 840 00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:30,500 OKAY. 841 00:34:30,536 --> 00:34:32,466 I GET TO GO AGAIN. 842 00:34:34,273 --> 00:34:36,143 ALL RIGHT. 843 00:34:37,676 --> 00:34:38,806 A BOOK. 844 00:34:38,844 --> 00:34:41,284 "BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES." 845 00:34:45,351 --> 00:34:46,491 [ CHUCKLES ] 846 00:34:46,518 --> 00:34:47,888 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 847 00:34:47,919 --> 00:34:50,819 PERHAPS WE SHOULD PLAY SOME OTHER GAME. 848 00:34:50,856 --> 00:34:52,716 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 849 00:34:52,758 --> 00:34:55,588 I MEANT TO TELL YOU. OH, YEAH. 850 00:34:59,931 --> 00:35:02,571 HI. I'M, UH... 851 00:35:03,869 --> 00:35:04,939 HEY. 852 00:35:04,970 --> 00:35:07,640 WELCOME TO "thirtysomething." CAN I GET YOU SOME BRIE? 853 00:35:07,673 --> 00:35:09,683 UHH... YOU GOT ANY BEAN DIP? 854 00:35:09,708 --> 00:35:11,138 THANK GOD. 855 00:35:11,177 --> 00:35:12,437 SO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 856 00:35:12,478 --> 00:35:14,148 ZOE SAID IT WAS COOL. 857 00:35:14,180 --> 00:35:15,910 [ CHUCKLES ] SHE'S NOT HERE. SHE KNEW BETTER. 858 00:35:15,947 --> 00:35:17,377 BITCH! 859 00:35:17,416 --> 00:35:18,876 I'VE BEEN HAD. 860 00:35:18,917 --> 00:35:20,347 OH! 861 00:35:23,822 --> 00:35:26,192 OF COURSE, THE VIEW IS AWFULLY NICE. 862 00:35:26,225 --> 00:35:28,285 INTERESTING FOOD, STOCKED BAR. 863 00:35:28,327 --> 00:35:29,827 I'M STAYING. 864 00:35:31,530 --> 00:35:33,330 CARRIE, DARLING. 865 00:35:33,365 --> 00:35:35,325 SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. KISSES. 866 00:35:35,367 --> 00:35:37,237 [ KISSING NOISES ] 867 00:35:40,972 --> 00:35:43,842 THAT ICE LOOKS COLD. IS IT? 868 00:35:43,875 --> 00:35:46,675 [ Muffled ] ELI, THIS IS MY -- THIS IS CHARLES. 869 00:35:46,712 --> 00:35:48,312 CHARLES, MY FRIEND ELI. 870 00:35:48,347 --> 00:35:50,277 HONEST TO GOD PLEASURE TO MEET YOU, CHAS. 871 00:35:50,316 --> 00:35:51,846 MAY I CALL YOU CHAS? 872 00:35:51,883 --> 00:35:53,853 ACTUALLY, I PREFER "CHIPPER." "CHIPPER" IT IS. 873 00:35:53,885 --> 00:35:55,715 HELP YOURSELF TO A DRINK. 874 00:35:55,754 --> 00:35:57,194 PICTIONARY LATER. 875 00:36:00,826 --> 00:36:02,886 UNH, UNH, UNH, UNH, UNH, UNH. 876 00:36:02,928 --> 00:36:04,658 LET ME FRESHEN THAT FOR YOU. 877 00:36:04,696 --> 00:36:06,826 WHAT IS THAT? [ SNIFFS ] A VODKA AND BOURBON? 878 00:36:06,865 --> 00:36:08,295 [ LAUGHS ] 879 00:36:08,334 --> 00:36:10,944 NO, I'M A DOCTOR. NOW, LISTEN. 880 00:36:10,969 --> 00:36:13,369 HE'S PAWING MY FRIENDS. 881 00:36:13,405 --> 00:36:15,435 I THINK SHE WANTS TO BE PAWED. 882 00:36:15,474 --> 00:36:19,354 NO, SHE'S JUST GETTING OVER A DIVORCE. SHE'S VERY VULNERABLE. 883 00:36:20,412 --> 00:36:21,852 AND I DON'T THINK THAT ELI -- 884 00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:23,780 ELI IS WHAT -- NOT GOOD ENOUGH? 885 00:36:23,815 --> 00:36:25,975 Y-YOU DON'T THINK MY FRIENDS ARE GOOD ENOUGH? 886 00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:27,947 IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY? HUH, HUH, HUH? 887 00:36:27,986 --> 00:36:29,886 IS AWARE THAT HIS FLY IS OPEN. 888 00:36:30,989 --> 00:36:32,519 OH. 889 00:36:32,558 --> 00:36:34,188 Eli! 890 00:36:35,294 --> 00:36:36,834 YEAH. 891 00:36:36,862 --> 00:36:38,562 Psst! 892 00:36:39,565 --> 00:36:40,895 AH. 893 00:36:42,368 --> 00:36:43,738 I TRIED. 894 00:36:43,769 --> 00:36:45,699 WELL, WHAT ABOUT YOUR FRIEND CHIPPER? 895 00:36:45,737 --> 00:36:47,867 HE WAS FOLLOWING ME FROM ROOM TO ROOM. 896 00:36:47,906 --> 00:36:51,536 "EXCUSE ME, DAVID, BUT WHAT EXACTLY KIND OF JEW ARE YOU? 897 00:36:51,577 --> 00:36:54,877 ARE YOU AN ASSIMILATED JEW OR ARE YOU A COMMITTED JEW?" 898 00:36:54,913 --> 00:36:57,523 CHIPPER'S MINOR WAS COMPARATIVE RELIGION. 899 00:36:57,549 --> 00:37:00,919 AT LEAST HE DIDN'T RIP OFF YOUR BATHING SUIT 900 00:37:00,952 --> 00:37:02,652 AND SPRAY ICE WATER ON YOU. 901 00:37:02,688 --> 00:37:06,888 ELI IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. YOU JUST HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR. 902 00:37:06,925 --> 00:37:08,255 [ CRUNCHING ] 903 00:37:08,294 --> 00:37:10,864 AND YET THEIR RELATIONSHIP SURVIVED. 904 00:37:10,896 --> 00:37:12,826 I MEAN, I'VE HEARD THAT LOVE IS BLIND, 905 00:37:12,864 --> 00:37:14,604 BUT I GUESS IT'S ALSO DEAF, DUMB, 906 00:37:14,633 --> 00:37:17,343 AND UNDAUNTINGLY TOLERANT OF ALL PREJUDICES, 907 00:37:17,369 --> 00:37:18,839 PERSONAL OR EXTERNAL. 908 00:37:18,870 --> 00:37:20,840 THERE JUST MIGHT BE SOMETHING TO IT. 909 00:37:20,872 --> 00:37:22,542 I'M NOT SURE. 910 00:37:22,574 --> 00:37:23,984 GATHER 'ROUND, CHILDREN. GATHER 'ROUND. 911 00:37:24,009 --> 00:37:26,379 YO, YO, YO, QUIET NOW. NO FLASHING. NO FLASHING. 912 00:37:26,412 --> 00:37:28,012 I'LL SEND YOU PEOPLE HOME. I'LL DO IT. 913 00:37:28,046 --> 00:37:30,546 CONSTRUCTION OF THE STATEHOUSE 914 00:37:30,582 --> 00:37:34,322 WAS COMPLETED UNDER BUDGET AND ON TIME IN 1782. 915 00:37:34,353 --> 00:37:35,893 GUESS THEY DIDN'T HAVE A UNION THEN. HA HA HA. 916 00:37:37,989 --> 00:37:40,989 ANYWAYS, IF YOU NOTICE THE BEAUTIFUL ROCOCO TILE -- 917 00:37:41,026 --> 00:37:43,326 ISN'T IS BEAUTIFUL? CAN YOU SAY "ROCOCO"? 918 00:37:43,362 --> 00:37:44,502 ROCOCO. ROCOCO. ROCOCO. 919 00:37:44,530 --> 00:37:45,830 VERY GOOD. VERY GOOD. 920 00:37:45,864 --> 00:37:47,874 SO, THIS IS WHERE IT ALL HAPPENS -- 921 00:37:47,899 --> 00:37:50,969 DISCUSSION, OR DISCOURSE, BETWEEN THE GOVERNOR -- 922 00:37:51,002 --> 00:37:53,842 CAN THE GOVERNOR PARK HIS CAR ANYWHERE HE WANTS? 923 00:37:53,872 --> 00:37:55,812 WHAT HAPPENS IN THERE? 924 00:37:55,841 --> 00:37:57,511 I'LL CHECK. 925 00:37:58,810 --> 00:38:00,950 [ MOANING ] 926 00:38:03,615 --> 00:38:04,645 WHOO! 927 00:38:04,683 --> 00:38:08,493 THAT'S WHAT WE LIKE TO CALL A GUBERNATORIAL AIDE 928 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:11,820 AND HER GENTLEMAN FRIEND, AND THEY ARE, UH... 929 00:38:11,857 --> 00:38:13,457 PHOTOCOPYING. 930 00:38:16,928 --> 00:38:19,828 ARE THEY FACILITATING STATE GOVERNMENT? 931 00:38:19,865 --> 00:38:21,825 W-WELL, WHAT'S GOOD FOR THE PEOPLE 932 00:38:21,867 --> 00:38:23,337 IS GOOD FOR THE STATE. 933 00:38:23,369 --> 00:38:25,569 ALEXANDER HAMILTON SAID THAT. 934 00:38:25,604 --> 00:38:27,474 ACTUALLY, THIS IS MY LUNCH HOUR. 935 00:38:27,506 --> 00:38:28,866 AND YOU SPEND IT WITH HIM? 936 00:38:28,907 --> 00:38:30,077 HEY. 937 00:38:30,108 --> 00:38:33,678 I'M...IN LOVE WITH THIS WOMAN. 938 00:38:33,712 --> 00:38:36,112 AND SHE'S IN LOVE WITH ME. 939 00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:38,077 RIGHT? 940 00:38:38,116 --> 00:38:39,176 YES, I AM. 941 00:38:39,217 --> 00:38:41,887 BUT AREN'T YOU AFRAID OF BEING CAUGHT? 942 00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:44,390 WHY NOT SAVE IT FOR LATER -- AT HOME? 943 00:38:44,423 --> 00:38:46,593 WELL, SEE, WE WORK DIFFERENT HOURS, 944 00:38:46,625 --> 00:38:49,395 AND H-HER APARTMENT'S REALLY VERY FAR AWAY, SO -- 945 00:38:49,428 --> 00:38:51,128 WAIT -- YOU TWO DON'T LIVE TOGETHER? 946 00:38:51,162 --> 00:38:52,702 THEY DON'T HAVE TO. 947 00:38:52,731 --> 00:38:54,531 PUH-LEASE, BOBBY. 948 00:38:54,566 --> 00:38:58,366 IF YOU AND I WERE SHARING CONJUGAL RELATIONS ON A LASER COPIER -- 949 00:38:58,404 --> 00:38:59,574 FAT CHANCE! 950 00:38:59,605 --> 00:39:00,965 WE'D BE LIVING TOGETHER, 951 00:39:01,006 --> 00:39:04,836 ESPECIALLY IF I KEPT CLOTHES AND STUFF AND SHAMPOO AT YOUR PLACE. 952 00:39:06,044 --> 00:39:07,914 YOU DO KEEP SHAMPOO THERE? 953 00:39:07,946 --> 00:39:09,646 AND CONDITIONER. 954 00:39:09,681 --> 00:39:12,951 LOOK, YOU EITHER MOVE IN OR MOVE ON. 955 00:39:12,984 --> 00:39:16,054 FACE IT, DUDE. THE WRITING'S ON THE WALL. 956 00:39:16,955 --> 00:39:21,625 YOU KNOW, THEY CALL IT "LIVING IN SIN" FOR A REASON. 957 00:39:21,660 --> 00:39:23,960 WHATEVER. THEY DID IT. SHE MOVED IN, YEAH. 958 00:39:23,995 --> 00:39:26,965 "STOP BY OUR APARTMENT," DAVID SAYS THE OTHER DAY TO ME. 959 00:39:26,998 --> 00:39:28,768 "OUR APARTMENT?" EXCUSE ME? 960 00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:30,440 SHE MOVES INTO HIS APARTMENT, 961 00:39:30,469 --> 00:39:33,169 AND SUDDENLY IT'S "OUR APARTMENT." 962 00:39:33,204 --> 00:39:34,814 [ SIGHS ] I DON'T KNOW. 963 00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:36,980 MAYBE I'M TAKING THIS TOO HARD. I DON'T KNOW. 964 00:39:37,008 --> 00:39:39,548 W-W-WHAT -- I SHOULD BRING THEM A HOUSEWARMING GIFT 965 00:39:39,578 --> 00:39:41,608 FOR THEIR APARTMENT? 966 00:39:41,647 --> 00:39:43,147 YOU TELL ME. I DON'T KNOW. 967 00:39:43,181 --> 00:39:46,921 WHAT'S THE PERFECT HOUSEWARMING GIFT FOR THEM? 968 00:39:46,952 --> 00:39:48,892 BROUGHT YOU A LITTLE HOUSEWARMING GIFT. 969 00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:50,160 OH, ELI. 970 00:39:50,188 --> 00:39:52,018 [ CHUCKLES ] YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO. 971 00:39:52,057 --> 00:39:54,127 THEY'LL COME IN HANDY. DON'T KID YOURSELF. 972 00:39:54,159 --> 00:39:55,759 WHERE'S CARRIE? 973 00:39:55,794 --> 00:39:57,864 UM, SHE'S OUT GETTING SOME MORE PLANTS. 974 00:39:57,896 --> 00:39:59,126 MORE PLANTS? 975 00:39:59,164 --> 00:40:00,704 WELL, THAT'S GOOD. 976 00:40:00,732 --> 00:40:03,772 IT'S KIND OF PHASE ONE OF THE MASTER PLAN, ISN'T IT? 977 00:40:03,802 --> 00:40:05,102 PLANTS NEED A LOT OF WATERING, 978 00:40:05,136 --> 00:40:06,906 A LOT OF FEEDING, A LOT OF ATTENTION. 979 00:40:06,938 --> 00:40:10,478 IT SOFTENS YOU UP A LITTLE BIT FOR PHASE TWO -- 980 00:40:10,509 --> 00:40:11,879 BABIES. 981 00:40:11,910 --> 00:40:14,580 YOU'RE GETTING A LITTLE PARANOID. 982 00:40:14,613 --> 00:40:16,053 PARANOID. WHO SAID I'M PARANOID? 983 00:40:16,081 --> 00:40:18,581 IF I TOLD YOU ONCE, I TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES -- 984 00:40:18,617 --> 00:40:21,487 IF YOU LET A BABE INFILTRATE THE HOME BASE, 985 00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:25,620 EVENTUALLY SHE'LL ERADICATE EVERY TRACE OF THE ESSENTIAL YOU. 986 00:40:27,025 --> 00:40:28,985 OH, WHAT'S THIS? WHAT'S WHAT? 987 00:40:29,027 --> 00:40:31,157 THIS -- COLORS AND BAD FRAME. 988 00:40:31,196 --> 00:40:33,796 OH, I DON'T KNOW. CARRIE LIKES IT. 989 00:40:33,832 --> 00:40:36,072 CARRIE LIKES IT? YEAH, YEAH, I LIKE IT, TOO. 990 00:40:36,935 --> 00:40:38,035 AAH. 991 00:40:38,069 --> 00:40:40,669 YOU THINK CARRIE'S DIFFERENT, DON'T YOU? 992 00:40:40,706 --> 00:40:43,906 YES. YES. YOU DON'T THINK SHE'S GONNA MAKE DEMANDS -- 993 00:40:43,942 --> 00:40:45,542 MOVE YOU TO THE SUBURBS 994 00:40:45,577 --> 00:40:47,947 AND LOAD YOU DOWN WITH BABIES AND BARBECUE. 995 00:40:47,979 --> 00:40:50,179 Y-YOU KNOW SOMETHING? I THINK CARRIE'S RIGHT. 996 00:40:50,215 --> 00:40:51,875 YOU'RE A LITTLE AFRAID OF WOMEN. 997 00:40:51,917 --> 00:40:53,617 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. WAIT, WAIT. 998 00:40:53,652 --> 00:40:54,922 YOU TALK TO CARRIE ABOUT ME? 999 00:40:54,953 --> 00:40:57,223 ELI, WE LIVE TOGETHER. OF COURSE I TALK TO HER. 1000 00:40:57,255 --> 00:40:58,955 I TALK TO HER ABOUT EVERYTHING. 1001 00:40:58,990 --> 00:41:00,630 W-WHAT'D YOU TELL HER? 1002 00:41:00,659 --> 00:41:01,829 NOTHING. 1003 00:41:01,860 --> 00:41:03,900 YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST... FOR THE FIRST TIME, 1004 00:41:03,929 --> 00:41:06,229 I'M LOOKING AT THINGS FROM ANOTHER SIDE. 1005 00:41:07,899 --> 00:41:09,569 THERE IS NO OTHER SIDE. 1006 00:41:09,601 --> 00:41:11,171 THERE'S THEM AND THERE'S US. 1007 00:41:11,202 --> 00:41:12,972 EXACTLY. YOU'RE RIGHT. 1008 00:41:13,004 --> 00:41:15,614 AND SOMETIMES WE'RE A LITTLE DISGUSTING. 1009 00:41:15,641 --> 00:41:17,611 OKAY? SO, LET'S DROP IT. 1010 00:41:17,643 --> 00:41:19,013 YES, WE'RE DISGUSTING! 1011 00:41:19,044 --> 00:41:21,854 WE'RE MEN. WE'RE IDIOTS. IT'S THE LAW. 1012 00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,980 ELI, REMEMBER AT COLLEGE YOUR DEFINITION OF A LESBIAN? 1013 00:41:25,016 --> 00:41:26,646 ANY GIRL WHO WOULDN'T PUT OUT. 1014 00:41:26,685 --> 00:41:27,885 RIGHT. EXACTLY. 1015 00:41:27,919 --> 00:41:30,259 WELL, YOU KNOW, I NO LONGER AGREE. 1016 00:41:30,288 --> 00:41:32,658 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. DO ME A FAVOR, OKAY? 1017 00:41:32,691 --> 00:41:34,861 IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS WHEN YOU GET SOME TIME, 1018 00:41:34,893 --> 00:41:36,933 FAX ME YOUR BALLS, 'CAUSE YOU DON'T NEED 'EM. 1019 00:41:36,962 --> 00:41:39,202 YOU EVER HAVE ONE OF THOSE DREAMS WHERE YOU'RE IN THE WATER, 1020 00:41:39,230 --> 00:41:40,870 YOU'RE TRYING TO SAVE SOMEONE FROM DROWNING, 1021 00:41:40,899 --> 00:41:42,229 AND YOU CAN'T QUITE REACH HIM? 1022 00:41:42,267 --> 00:41:43,767 YOU'RE ABOUT A FINGERTIP AWAY, 1023 00:41:43,802 --> 00:41:45,202 BUT THE CURRENT KEEPS PULLING HIM 1024 00:41:45,236 --> 00:41:46,806 FURTHER AND FURTHER OUT TO SEA, 1025 00:41:46,838 --> 00:41:49,808 AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO BUT WATCH. 1026 00:41:49,841 --> 00:41:52,141 HOW DO I SAVE HIM FROM SLIPPING AWAY? 1027 00:41:52,177 --> 00:41:55,107 HOW DO I BRING HIM BACK TO SHORE? 1028 00:41:55,146 --> 00:41:57,546 [ TELEPHONE RINGS ] 1029 00:41:57,583 --> 00:41:58,923 HI, THIS IS DAVID. 1030 00:41:58,950 --> 00:42:00,250 CARRIE AND I AREN'T HERE RIGHT NOW, 1031 00:42:00,285 --> 00:42:02,715 [ DAVID AND CARRIE GIGGLING ] BUT YOU CAN LEAVE A MESSAGE, 1032 00:42:02,754 --> 00:42:03,894 AND WE'LL GET BACK TO YOU LATER. 1033 00:42:03,922 --> 00:42:04,862 BYE-BYE. [ BEEP ] 1034 00:42:04,890 --> 00:42:07,730 HI, CARE. HELLO, DAVID. 1035 00:42:07,759 --> 00:42:08,789 THREE WEEKS NOW, 1036 00:42:08,827 --> 00:42:11,857 AND MY PERIOD IS ALREADY IN SYNC WITH OPRAH WINFREY. 1037 00:42:11,897 --> 00:42:13,967 JUST THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW. 1038 00:42:13,999 --> 00:42:15,069 [ DAVID GROANS ] [ BEEP ] 1039 00:42:15,100 --> 00:42:17,570 DAVID, SWEETHEART, THIS IS YOUR MOTHER. 1040 00:42:17,603 --> 00:42:18,943 OH! UGH. 1041 00:42:18,970 --> 00:42:20,910 I HAVE TWO QUESTIONS -- 1042 00:42:20,939 --> 00:42:23,909 NUMBER ONE, WHY DON'T YOU CALL? 1043 00:42:23,942 --> 00:42:27,882 AND NUMBER TWO, IS CARRIE A BOY OR A GIRL? 1044 00:42:27,913 --> 00:42:30,153 [ BEEP ] SHIT! I KNEW I FORGOT TO CALL SOMEONE! 1045 00:42:30,181 --> 00:42:31,551 [ LAUGHS ] 1046 00:42:35,053 --> 00:42:36,763 [ BLOWS ] 1047 00:42:36,788 --> 00:42:40,088 I'M TELLING YOU, EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE. 1048 00:42:43,328 --> 00:42:44,758 Freida: OH! 1049 00:42:44,796 --> 00:42:46,626 THERE'S A COHEN BROTHERS SHOES. 1050 00:42:46,665 --> 00:42:48,125 YEAH, OF COURSE, ON BEACON. 1051 00:42:48,166 --> 00:42:51,966 NO, NO, NO, FURTHER EAST, NEXT TO THE INDIAN RESTAURANT. 1052 00:42:52,003 --> 00:42:53,773 YOU GOT IT. OKAY, BOBBY. 1053 00:42:53,805 --> 00:42:56,005 WELL, IT WAS NICE TALKING TO YOU, TOO, HON. 1054 00:42:56,041 --> 00:42:58,881 GOOD LUCK. YEAH. BYE-BYE. 1055 00:43:00,679 --> 00:43:04,019 WRONG NUMBER, HM. 1056 00:43:04,049 --> 00:43:05,619 DON'T WORRY. 1057 00:43:05,651 --> 00:43:07,821 BRISKET IS COMING, 1058 00:43:07,853 --> 00:43:09,123 BUT FIRST... 1059 00:43:09,154 --> 00:43:11,764 A LITTLE SOUP WITH KNAIDLACH. 1060 00:43:11,790 --> 00:43:13,630 OH, I'VE HAD THOSE. [ CHUCKLES ] 1061 00:43:13,659 --> 00:43:14,959 NOT LIKE THESE. 1062 00:43:14,993 --> 00:43:16,363 THIS IS THE TOUGH PART. 1063 00:43:16,394 --> 00:43:19,264 SEE, MRS. C MAKES THIS KILLER BRISKET -- WORLD-CLASS. 1064 00:43:19,297 --> 00:43:20,967 BUT BEFORE YOU CAN EAT ANY, 1065 00:43:20,999 --> 00:43:23,029 YOU GOTTA SURVIVE THE INTERROGATION... 1066 00:43:23,068 --> 00:43:26,268 [ Echoing ] SURVIVE THE INTERROGATION... 1067 00:43:29,908 --> 00:43:31,908 [ SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS ] 1068 00:43:31,943 --> 00:43:33,213 [ SLURPING ] 1069 00:43:33,244 --> 00:43:36,954 SO, CARRIE, TELL US A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOURSELF. 1070 00:43:36,982 --> 00:43:39,892 I WAS -- I WAS BORN AND RAISED HERE -- I MEAN, WELLESLEY. 1071 00:43:39,918 --> 00:43:40,948 DATE OF BIRTH? 1072 00:43:40,986 --> 00:43:42,946 JUNE 6, 1963. 1073 00:43:42,988 --> 00:43:45,118 EARLIER, I THOUGHT YOU SAID JULY! 1074 00:43:45,156 --> 00:43:46,826 JULY. I-I MEANT JULY. 1075 00:43:46,858 --> 00:43:49,358 AHA. DO I MAKE YOU NERVOUS, CARRIE? 1076 00:43:49,394 --> 00:43:50,934 YOU'RE MY GUEST. 1077 00:43:50,962 --> 00:43:52,132 EAT! 1078 00:43:56,968 --> 00:43:58,068 OH, THAT'S GOOD. 1079 00:43:58,103 --> 00:43:59,713 I MEAN, THAT WAS EXCELLENT! 1080 00:43:59,738 --> 00:44:01,408 IT WAS THE BEST KNAIDLACH I'VE EVER HAD! 1081 00:44:01,439 --> 00:44:03,909 HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THIS MAN BEFORE? 1082 00:44:05,844 --> 00:44:07,414 UH, I-I DON'T THINK SO. 1083 00:44:07,445 --> 00:44:08,875 YOU DON'T THINK SO?! 1084 00:44:08,914 --> 00:44:09,954 THINK! 1085 00:44:09,981 --> 00:44:11,421 UH, NO, I'M SURE. 1086 00:44:11,449 --> 00:44:15,849 AND WHERE WAS YOUR FATHER DURING WORLD WAR II? 1087 00:44:15,887 --> 00:44:18,057 UM, COLLEGE, UH, UH, MEDICAL SCHOOL -- 1088 00:44:18,089 --> 00:44:20,359 UH, DARTMOUTH UNIVERSITY. I WENT THERE, ALSO. 1089 00:44:20,391 --> 00:44:21,991 HUH. 1090 00:44:24,996 --> 00:44:26,726 SHE MADE IT! YES! 1091 00:44:26,765 --> 00:44:31,035 MY DAVID COULD HAVE GONE TO B.U. -- HARVARD, EVEN. 1092 00:44:31,069 --> 00:44:33,069 HE HAD THE S.A.T.s, 1093 00:44:33,104 --> 00:44:35,274 BUT HE WANTED TO GO AWAY FROM HOME. 1094 00:44:35,306 --> 00:44:37,906 GO FIGURE. 1095 00:44:39,144 --> 00:44:41,984 DEAR, MY HUSBAND IS A VERY PROUD MAN. 1096 00:44:42,013 --> 00:44:43,923 HE DOESN'T LIKE TO LOSE, 1097 00:44:43,949 --> 00:44:46,349 SO IF YOU COULD JUST EASE UP A BIT ON YOUR SERVE. 1098 00:44:46,384 --> 00:44:49,024 YOU WANT ME TO THROW THE GAME? Kenneth: COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. 1099 00:44:49,054 --> 00:44:50,364 POWWOW'S OVER. 1100 00:44:50,388 --> 00:44:53,218 NO STRATEGY'S GONNA BEAT MY LITTLE CARE BEAR AND I. 1101 00:44:57,963 --> 00:44:59,433 PLEASE, DEAR? 1102 00:44:59,464 --> 00:45:02,034 IT'S IN YOUR OWN BEST INTEREST. 1103 00:45:08,907 --> 00:45:10,237 OUT! 1104 00:45:10,275 --> 00:45:12,275 WITH A SMILE. 1105 00:45:12,310 --> 00:45:14,480 BY A MILE. 1106 00:45:16,047 --> 00:45:17,877 I DON'T KNOW. 1107 00:45:17,916 --> 00:45:20,086 I MEAN, TO SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE IN ONE GULP? 1108 00:45:20,118 --> 00:45:22,288 DAVID MUST BE... 1109 00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:23,920 IN LOVE. 1110 00:45:23,955 --> 00:45:25,755 I DON'T KNOW. 1111 00:45:26,557 --> 00:45:29,157 I DO KNOW YOU WON'T SEE ME SUCKING UP LIKE THAT, 1112 00:45:29,194 --> 00:45:31,164 SELLING OUT TO KENNETH AND GISELLE 1113 00:45:31,196 --> 00:45:33,966 FOR A FEW FREE DRINKS AND CONVENIENT COURT TIME. 1114 00:45:33,999 --> 00:45:36,769 HEY, DO YOU THINK THAT'S WHY I'VE NEVER BEEN ASKED BACK? 1115 00:45:36,802 --> 00:45:38,802 [ WATER RUNNING ] 1116 00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:44,840 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 1117 00:45:44,876 --> 00:45:46,006 DAVID, MAN-TO-MAN, 1118 00:45:46,044 --> 00:45:48,214 YOU HAD A PRETTY FAIR GAME GOING THERE, 1119 00:45:48,246 --> 00:45:51,076 BUT THEN YOU LOST THE SCENT AND SCREWED THE POOCH. 1120 00:45:51,116 --> 00:45:53,786 KILLER INSTINCT WINS MATCHES. 1121 00:45:53,819 --> 00:45:55,919 K.I. -- CLOSE THE DEAL. 1122 00:45:55,954 --> 00:45:57,164 YOU READ TRUMP? 1123 00:45:57,188 --> 00:45:58,918 I'M WAITING FOR THE MOVIE. 1124 00:45:58,957 --> 00:46:00,457 CONSISTENCY. FOLLOW-THROUGH. 1125 00:46:00,491 --> 00:46:02,361 LIKE I TELL MY LOVELY WIFE, GISELLE, 1126 00:46:02,393 --> 00:46:04,033 TENNIS, PROCTOLOGY -- 1127 00:46:04,062 --> 00:46:06,562 IT'S ALL IN THE FOLLOW-THROUGH. 1128 00:46:06,597 --> 00:46:09,967 WELL, NOT -- NOT MANY PEOPLE ENJOY YOUR CONSISTENCY, SIR. 1129 00:46:10,001 --> 00:46:13,871 HELL, YOU CAN SMOKE A PIPE AND PLAY TENNIS AT THE SAME TIME. 1130 00:46:13,905 --> 00:46:15,135 GRACE UNDER PRESSURE. 1131 00:46:15,173 --> 00:46:17,013 I LEARNED THAT DURING THE WAR. 1132 00:46:17,042 --> 00:46:19,042 UH, KOREA? NO, NO, NO, NO. 1133 00:46:19,077 --> 00:46:22,047 CARTER ADMINISTRATION -- FOUR YEARS OF ECONOMIC HELL. 1134 00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:24,020 CROWN. CROWN. 1135 00:46:24,049 --> 00:46:26,479 SHOULD I KNOW THAT NAME? WHAT'S THE OLD MAN DO? 1136 00:46:26,517 --> 00:46:28,317 OH, EAT... SLEEP...COMPLAIN. 1137 00:46:28,353 --> 00:46:29,963 WHAT? 1138 00:46:29,988 --> 00:46:31,918 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT THE OLD MAN DOESN'T DO. 1139 00:46:31,957 --> 00:46:33,417 HE DOESN'T COLLECT ANIMAL HEADS, 1140 00:46:33,458 --> 00:46:35,828 HE DOESN'T SAY THINGS LIKE "SCREW THE POOCH," 1141 00:46:35,861 --> 00:46:37,931 AND HE DOESN'T CALL RONALD REAGAN "THE GIPPER." 1142 00:46:37,963 --> 00:46:41,903 [ As Irv ] HE CALLS HIM "THAT BAD ACTOR FROM THE CHIMP MOVIES." OY! 1143 00:46:41,933 --> 00:46:45,003 YOU LIKE GUNS, DAVID? WELL, UH, TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, SIR, I -- 1144 00:46:45,036 --> 00:46:47,106 THIS IS A BEAUTY -- 12 GAUGE OVER-AND-UNDER. 1145 00:46:47,138 --> 00:46:49,268 HERE, TAKE AHOLD OF IT. GO ON, TAKE IT. TAKE IT! 1146 00:46:49,307 --> 00:46:51,337 UH. [ CLEARS THROAT ] 1147 00:46:51,376 --> 00:46:53,206 IT'S NOT LOADED OR ANYTHING, IS IT? 1148 00:46:53,244 --> 00:46:54,584 OH, LET'S SEE. 1149 00:46:56,481 --> 00:46:58,321 AH. NO, IT ISN'T. 1150 00:46:58,349 --> 00:46:59,919 [ CHUCKLES ] 1151 00:47:03,321 --> 00:47:04,491 NOW IT IS. 1152 00:47:04,522 --> 00:47:06,062 HERE, PUT THIS ON YOUR SHOULDER. 1153 00:47:06,091 --> 00:47:07,931 THERE. NOW GRAB AHOLD OF THE STOCK THERE. 1154 00:47:07,959 --> 00:47:10,029 AND PUT THIS HAND UP THERE. THERE YOU GO. 1155 00:47:10,061 --> 00:47:13,461 NOW, LEAN INTO IT. LEAN INTO IT. 1156 00:47:15,133 --> 00:47:17,173 HOW'S THAT FEEL, SON? IT FEELS GOOD, SIR. 1157 00:47:17,202 --> 00:47:19,242 IT FEELS -- YOU KNOW, IT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE A MAN. 1158 00:47:19,270 --> 00:47:20,340 [ PATS BACK ] [ GUNSHOT ] 1159 00:47:20,371 --> 00:47:21,571 AAAH! 1160 00:47:24,075 --> 00:47:24,975 LUNCH. 1161 00:47:25,977 --> 00:47:27,547 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 1162 00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:31,450 David: IF YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW, 1163 00:47:31,482 --> 00:47:34,592 THE REAL EXPERT ON THE SUBJECT WAS A GIRL THAT ELI KNEW. 1164 00:47:34,619 --> 00:47:36,119 YEAH? YEAH. 1165 00:47:36,154 --> 00:47:37,394 SHOCK ME. 1166 00:47:37,422 --> 00:47:40,532 SHE'S A NURSE -- NUTRITIONIST. 1167 00:47:40,558 --> 00:47:45,428 SHE SAID THAT GUYS ARE, LIKE, YOU KNOW...PURE PROTEIN. 1168 00:47:49,034 --> 00:47:52,104 OF COURSE, THAT'S IT -- PROTEIN. 1169 00:47:52,137 --> 00:47:53,637 AND -- AND -- AND YOU GUYS 1170 00:47:53,671 --> 00:47:55,971 ARE JUST THE SURGEON GENERALS OF LOVE 1171 00:47:56,007 --> 00:47:59,137 JUST SHARING THIS WITH US F-FOR OUR OWN WELL-BEING. 1172 00:47:59,177 --> 00:48:00,507 HMM? HMM? 1173 00:48:00,545 --> 00:48:02,645 OH, COME ON, DAVID, CAN YOU HONESTLY SAY 1174 00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:04,220 THAT IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION, 1175 00:48:04,249 --> 00:48:05,949 YOU'D FEEL ANY DIFFERENTLY? 1176 00:48:05,984 --> 00:48:09,394 HON, IF ELI AND I WERE SHIPWRECKED ON A DESERTED ISLAND, 1177 00:48:09,420 --> 00:48:11,290 AND THE ONLY WAY TO SURVIVE 1178 00:48:11,322 --> 00:48:13,992 WAS, YOU KNOW, THE NUTRIENTS INVOLVED, 1179 00:48:14,025 --> 00:48:15,425 THEN, YES, YES! 1180 00:48:15,460 --> 00:48:18,130 WE'D BE GOING DOWN ON EACH OTHER EVERY FIVE MINUTES. 1181 00:48:18,163 --> 00:48:21,333 I'D KILL MYSELF AND THEN HIM. 1182 00:48:24,302 --> 00:48:27,342 [ TELEPHONE RINGS ] 1183 00:48:27,372 --> 00:48:29,312 [ SIGHS ] 1184 00:48:32,978 --> 00:48:34,408 HELLO? 1185 00:48:34,445 --> 00:48:36,145 ELI. 1186 00:48:36,181 --> 00:48:38,051 [ CHUCKLES ] WHAT'S UP? 1187 00:48:38,083 --> 00:48:41,493 [ ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ] DAVID, GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW. I'M TELLING YOU. 1188 00:48:41,519 --> 00:48:44,489 THE PLANETS ARE LINED UP TONIGHT OR SOMETHING, I DON'T KNOW, 1189 00:48:44,522 --> 00:48:47,032 BUT THE CHICKS HERE TONIGHT ARE NOT TO BE MISSED. 1190 00:48:47,058 --> 00:48:48,358 NOW, HUH? 1191 00:48:48,393 --> 00:48:49,593 MMM... 1192 00:48:49,627 --> 00:48:52,327 YOU DON'T HAVE TO TOUCH. YOU CAN JUST LOOK. 1193 00:48:52,363 --> 00:48:53,663 Yeah, Eli, 1194 00:48:53,698 --> 00:48:57,068 LOOK, I CAN'T COME DOWN NOW. IT'S, UH... 1195 00:48:57,102 --> 00:48:59,272 CARRIE'S NOT FEELING REAL WELL, 1196 00:48:59,304 --> 00:49:02,544 AND I JUST -- I JUST CAN'T. IT'S NOT A GOOD TIME. 1197 00:49:02,573 --> 00:49:04,313 WHAT ABOUT FRIDAY? 1198 00:49:04,342 --> 00:49:06,082 FRIDAY...UH, YEAH, FRIDAY -- 1199 00:49:06,111 --> 00:49:07,711 FRIDAY NIGHT, DEFINITELY. 1200 00:49:07,745 --> 00:49:09,745 NO, DINNER WITH CHARLES AND LIZBETH. 1201 00:49:09,780 --> 00:49:11,720 REALLY? MM-HMM. 1202 00:49:11,749 --> 00:49:15,289 UH...ELI, UM, I'LL CALL YOU TOMORROW? 1203 00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:18,060 OH, MAN, I HOPE SHE'S WORTH IT. 1204 00:49:18,089 --> 00:49:21,629 I'M TELLING YOU, YOU'RE MISSING OUT BIG-TIME, PAL. 1205 00:49:21,659 --> 00:49:23,129 BIG-TIME. 1206 00:49:25,596 --> 00:49:28,996 [ Rock music playing ] 1207 00:49:29,034 --> 00:49:30,674 [ RECEIVER CLICKS ] 1208 00:49:31,669 --> 00:49:33,639 MM. YOU KNOW WHAT? 1209 00:49:33,671 --> 00:49:35,241 I'M GONNA GO TAKE A BATH. 1210 00:49:39,510 --> 00:49:40,780 [ SIGHS ] 1211 00:49:40,811 --> 00:49:44,021 [ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ] 1212 00:49:48,053 --> 00:49:49,623 MISSING OUT. 1213 00:49:52,823 --> 00:49:57,803 TWO WORDS THAT HAVE HAUNTED ME MY ENTIRE LIFE. 1214 00:49:57,828 --> 00:50:00,628 WHY CAN'T I JUST BE HAPPY WITH WHERE I AM 1215 00:50:00,665 --> 00:50:02,525 AND WITH WHAT I'VE GOT? 1216 00:50:04,069 --> 00:50:07,239 WHY DO I KEEP THINKING ABOUT WHERE I COULD BE 1217 00:50:07,272 --> 00:50:09,142 AND WHAT I COULD GET? 1218 00:50:12,843 --> 00:50:14,313 CHRIST. 1219 00:50:14,345 --> 00:50:16,105 MY SCOPING DAYS ARE OVER. 1220 00:50:16,147 --> 00:50:18,377 I MEAN, I'M DIFFERENT. 1221 00:50:18,416 --> 00:50:20,086 I'M IN LOVE. 1222 00:50:21,852 --> 00:50:25,092 WHY CAN'T I JUST BE HAPPY WITH WHAT I'VE GOT? 1223 00:50:27,192 --> 00:50:28,762 I JUST DON'T KNOW WHO DAVID IS. 1224 00:50:28,793 --> 00:50:31,663 I MEAN, SOMETIMES I-I FEEL LIKE I'M LIVING WITH THREE MEN -- 1225 00:50:31,696 --> 00:50:34,366 MRS. CROWN'S LITTLE BOY, THE ONE WHO THROWS A TANTRUM 1226 00:50:34,399 --> 00:50:36,229 EVERY TIME HE RUNS OUT OF SHAMPOO, 1227 00:50:36,267 --> 00:50:37,797 UM, ELI'S BEST BUDDY, 1228 00:50:37,835 --> 00:50:42,265 THE ONE WHO PULLS BACK WHEN THINGS GET TOO INTIMATE... 1229 00:50:42,307 --> 00:50:45,077 AND THEN THERE'S MY DAVID. 1230 00:50:45,110 --> 00:50:46,580 HE'S FUNNY... 1231 00:50:46,611 --> 00:50:49,111 HE'S SENSITIVE... 1232 00:50:49,147 --> 00:50:50,847 AND CONSIDERATE. 1233 00:50:50,881 --> 00:50:53,421 HE'S THE ONE I MOVED IN WITH. 1234 00:50:54,619 --> 00:50:57,389 HOW'D I END UP WITH THE OTHER TWO? 1235 00:51:00,125 --> 00:51:02,055 MISSING OUT. 1236 00:51:02,860 --> 00:51:04,160 MISSING OUT, 1237 00:51:04,195 --> 00:51:05,825 LIKE ELI'S REALLY DOING SOMETHING 1238 00:51:05,863 --> 00:51:08,303 THAT I WANT TO BE A PART OF. 1239 00:51:12,137 --> 00:51:13,767 EXCUSE ME, MISTER. 1240 00:51:13,804 --> 00:51:15,874 WE WERE JUST COMING BACK FROM OUR CHEERLEADING MEET. 1241 00:51:15,906 --> 00:51:18,606 WE'RE ALL VIRGINS, BUT FOR SOME REASON -- 1242 00:51:18,643 --> 00:51:20,713 MAYBE IT'S THE PLANET ALIGNMENT -- 1243 00:51:20,745 --> 00:51:24,845 WELL, WE ALL DECIDED THAT TONIGHT WAS THE NIGHT TO... 1244 00:51:24,882 --> 00:51:27,492 WELL... 1245 00:51:27,518 --> 00:51:29,748 YOU KNOW... 1246 00:51:29,787 --> 00:51:31,357 GO ALL THE WAY. 1247 00:51:31,389 --> 00:51:34,759 SO, PERHAPS YOU AND YOUR FRIEND COULD HELP US OUT -- 1248 00:51:34,792 --> 00:51:38,302 YOU KNOW, TAKE US AROUND THE CITY, PLY US WITH LIQUOR, 1249 00:51:38,329 --> 00:51:40,569 AND THEN TAKE US BACK TO YOUR PLACE? 1250 00:51:40,598 --> 00:51:42,868 WELL, I'D BE DELIGHTED, UH... 1251 00:51:42,900 --> 00:51:44,900 OF COURSE, IT'S JUST GONNA HAVE TO BE ME. 1252 00:51:44,935 --> 00:51:48,305 SEE, ALL MY FRIENDS ARE BUSY TONIGHT OR TOO TIRED 1253 00:51:48,339 --> 00:51:51,609 OR HOME WITH THEIR LIVE-IN GIRLFRIENDS. 1254 00:51:51,642 --> 00:51:53,212 [ GIRLS GIGGLING ] OH. 1255 00:51:53,244 --> 00:51:55,354 WELL... 1256 00:51:55,380 --> 00:51:59,880 DO YOU THINK MAYBE YOU COULD HANDLE US ALL BY YOURSELF? 1257 00:52:02,220 --> 00:52:05,390 YES. YES, I DO. 1258 00:52:07,825 --> 00:52:09,755 [ Echoing ] DAVID. 1259 00:52:09,794 --> 00:52:11,504 DAVID. LISTEN TO ME. 1260 00:52:11,529 --> 00:52:12,829 WHAT? 1261 00:52:14,399 --> 00:52:15,699 SORRY. 1262 00:52:15,733 --> 00:52:17,403 UH, WHAT? 1263 00:52:18,836 --> 00:52:20,806 YOU'RE BORED WITH THIS RELATIONSHIP, IS THAT IT? 1264 00:52:20,838 --> 00:52:23,908 NO, NO, GOD, NO. 1265 00:52:23,941 --> 00:52:26,141 NO, YOU SEE, IT'S JUST THAT... 1266 00:52:28,579 --> 00:52:30,719 LISTEN... 1267 00:52:30,748 --> 00:52:33,948 PIZZA IS MY FAVORITE FOOD -- 1268 00:52:33,984 --> 00:52:36,324 PEPPERONI AND SAUSAGE, RIGHT? 1269 00:52:37,822 --> 00:52:40,592 W-W-WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? 1270 00:52:40,625 --> 00:52:41,885 WHAT? 1271 00:52:43,594 --> 00:52:45,304 LINGUINE AND CLAM SAUCE. 1272 00:52:45,330 --> 00:52:48,600 AN EXCELLENT CHOICE -- LINGUINE AND CLAM SAUCE. 1273 00:52:48,633 --> 00:52:50,943 IT'S GREAT. YOU LOVE IT MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE. 1274 00:52:50,968 --> 00:52:53,198 YOU COULD PROBABLY HAVE IT ALMOST EVERY NIGHT. 1275 00:52:53,238 --> 00:52:54,208 MM. 1276 00:52:54,239 --> 00:52:55,639 ALMOST EVERY NIGHT, 1277 00:52:55,673 --> 00:52:57,543 BUT YOU -- YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO. 1278 00:52:57,575 --> 00:53:00,505 YOU'D WANT TO TRY SOMETHING NEW, SOMETHING DIFFERENT. 1279 00:53:00,545 --> 00:53:01,845 YOU KNOW WHAT? 1280 00:53:01,879 --> 00:53:04,819 YOUR LITTLE ANALOGY'S STARTING TO PISS ME OFF. 1281 00:53:04,849 --> 00:53:08,289 OKAY. OKAY. LET'S -- LET'S FORGET IT. 1282 00:53:08,319 --> 00:53:09,819 GOOD. 1283 00:53:14,892 --> 00:53:16,832 LET'S JUST... 1284 00:53:20,331 --> 00:53:22,631 ...GO TO SLEEP. 1285 00:53:22,667 --> 00:53:25,267 [ TIRES SCREECHING ] 1286 00:53:25,303 --> 00:53:26,903 [ CRASH ] 1287 00:53:26,937 --> 00:53:27,907 [ THUD ] 1288 00:53:27,938 --> 00:53:29,408 OW! 1289 00:53:39,950 --> 00:53:41,890 WHERE WERE YOU? 1290 00:53:41,919 --> 00:53:43,819 [ Slurring ] I WAS OUT. 1291 00:53:45,823 --> 00:53:47,833 WITH ELI. 1292 00:53:47,858 --> 00:53:49,688 YOU COULD HAVE CALLED. 1293 00:53:49,727 --> 00:53:51,657 AM I ON A LEASH? 1294 00:53:52,863 --> 00:53:55,003 CAN'T I HAVE A GOOD TIME WITHOUT YOU? 1295 00:53:55,032 --> 00:53:57,002 CAN'T YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME WITH ME? 1296 00:53:57,902 --> 00:53:59,842 WOULD IT BE SO BAD TO -- TO INVITE ME ALONG? 1297 00:53:59,870 --> 00:54:02,440 YOU KNOW, YOU USED TO THINK I WAS PRETTY GOOD COMPANY. 1298 00:54:02,473 --> 00:54:05,313 OH, HON, YOU KNOW, WHEN -- WHEN ELI AND I GO OUT, 1299 00:54:05,343 --> 00:54:07,613 YOU KNOW, IT'S A -- IT'S A GUY THING. 1300 00:54:07,645 --> 00:54:10,345 ELI -- DAVID AND ELI. 1301 00:54:10,381 --> 00:54:12,921 DAVID, YOU'RE NOT MARRIED TO ELI. 1302 00:54:12,950 --> 00:54:15,950 WELL, I'M NOT MARRIED TO YOU, EITHER. 1303 00:54:24,995 --> 00:54:26,695 DAVID, WAIT. 1304 00:54:28,032 --> 00:54:29,572 WHAT'S WRONG? 1305 00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:31,570 A PHONE CALL COSTS 20 CENTS. 1306 00:54:31,602 --> 00:54:34,672 [ Whining ] HELLO, MOMMY, CAN I STAY OUT AND PLAY? 1307 00:54:34,705 --> 00:54:35,835 OH, GROW UP! 1308 00:54:35,873 --> 00:54:38,083 ALL RIGHT, YOU FELLAS, GIVE ME A LITTLE HELP HERE, PLEASE. 1309 00:54:38,108 --> 00:54:40,848 CAN I HAVE A SHOW OF HANDS -- ALL OF YOU WHO AGREE WITH ME 1310 00:54:40,878 --> 00:54:42,808 THAT A RELATIONSHIP IS A FINE PLACE TO SLEEP, 1311 00:54:42,847 --> 00:54:44,777 BUT YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO LIVE THERE. 1312 00:54:44,815 --> 00:54:47,785 AH! SEE? CLEAR MAJORITY. 1313 00:54:47,818 --> 00:54:48,988 FOUR GUYS? 1314 00:54:49,019 --> 00:54:52,419 WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? THEY'RE SURROUNDED BY THE ENEMY. 1315 00:54:53,758 --> 00:54:56,828 [ SOFT MUSIC PLAYS ] 1316 00:54:58,696 --> 00:54:59,956 WHAT? 1317 00:55:01,732 --> 00:55:03,002 W-WE'RE NOT TALKING. 1318 00:55:03,033 --> 00:55:04,803 WE'RE EATING. 1319 00:55:04,835 --> 00:55:07,605 WE USED TO TALK WHEN WE ATE. 1320 00:55:10,941 --> 00:55:12,941 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT? 1321 00:55:14,011 --> 00:55:16,781 I DON'T KNOW. ANYTHING. 1322 00:55:16,814 --> 00:55:18,584 [ SIGHS ] 1323 00:55:21,151 --> 00:55:24,721 CAN WE JUST ENJOY OUR DINNER? 1324 00:55:24,755 --> 00:55:26,955 FINE. YEAH. 1325 00:55:31,929 --> 00:55:35,469 I CAN'T ENJOY MY DINNER. 1326 00:55:35,500 --> 00:55:38,470 SOMETHING'S HAPPENED. I-I JUST... 1327 00:55:38,503 --> 00:55:41,513 I DON'T FEEL CONNECTED TO YOU ANYMORE. 1328 00:55:41,539 --> 00:55:43,369 DO YOU FEEL CONNECTED TO ME? 1329 00:55:43,408 --> 00:55:45,778 OH, PLEASE DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK, OKAY? 1330 00:55:45,810 --> 00:55:48,110 AND PLEASE DON'T SAY, "OH, JESUS, CARRIE." 1331 00:55:48,145 --> 00:55:49,975 OKAY. 1332 00:55:51,081 --> 00:55:53,851 WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? 1333 00:55:57,988 --> 00:56:00,958 WE'RE IN TROUBLE, AND I JUST WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT. 1334 00:56:00,991 --> 00:56:02,591 [ SIGHS ] 1335 00:56:02,627 --> 00:56:04,697 WHY DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT? 1336 00:56:04,729 --> 00:56:06,099 WHEN YOU HIT A ROUGH SPOT, 1337 00:56:06,130 --> 00:56:09,570 SOMETIMES THE BEST THING TO DO IS JUST RIDE THROUGH IT. 1338 00:56:10,968 --> 00:56:12,938 SOMETIMES TALKING MAKES IT WORSE. 1339 00:56:12,970 --> 00:56:14,640 LET IT GO. 1340 00:56:14,672 --> 00:56:15,942 I CAN'T LET IT GO. 1341 00:56:15,973 --> 00:56:18,113 WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS NOW. 1342 00:56:18,142 --> 00:56:20,482 THERE'S NOTHING TO DEAL WITH. 1343 00:56:20,511 --> 00:56:21,951 YOU KNOW, ELI'S RIGHT. 1344 00:56:21,979 --> 00:56:24,879 SOMETIMES YOU JUST OVERANALYZE EVERYTHING. 1345 00:56:24,915 --> 00:56:26,975 WHAT, YOU AND ELI SIT AROUND TALKING ABOUT ME? 1346 00:56:27,017 --> 00:56:28,947 WHAT DO YOU -- WHAT DO YOU SAY TO ELI ABOUT ME? 1347 00:56:28,986 --> 00:56:30,416 [ SIGHS ] 1348 00:56:30,455 --> 00:56:32,815 ELI'S MY FRIEND. WE TALK ABOUT THINGS. 1349 00:56:32,857 --> 00:56:34,927 LOOK, CAN -- CAN -- CAN WE NOT DO THIS? 1350 00:56:34,959 --> 00:56:37,959 LET-- LET'S STOP THIS BEFORE IT TURNS INTO A FIGHT. 1351 00:56:37,995 --> 00:56:39,425 IT I A FIGHT. 1352 00:56:41,899 --> 00:56:43,099 LOOK AT ME, DAVID. 1353 00:56:43,133 --> 00:56:45,003 WOULDN'T YOU RATHER SOMEONE ELSE 1354 00:56:45,035 --> 00:56:46,735 BE SITTING HERE RIGHT NOW? 1355 00:56:46,771 --> 00:56:48,911 NO, I WOULDN'T. 1356 00:56:48,939 --> 00:56:51,609 BE HONEST -- WOULDN'T YOU BE HAVING A BETTER TIME 1357 00:56:51,642 --> 00:56:53,882 IF SOMEONE ELSE WAS HERE AND NOT ME? 1358 00:56:54,945 --> 00:56:58,015 NO. NO ONE ELSE. 1359 00:56:58,883 --> 00:57:00,423 I DON'T BELIEVE YOU. 1360 00:57:01,552 --> 00:57:02,792 YEAH, OKAY, ALL RIGHT. 1361 00:57:02,820 --> 00:57:05,460 I-I-I CAN IMAGINE ANOTHER WOMAN HERE WITH ME. 1362 00:57:05,490 --> 00:57:06,460 YOU KNOW WHAT? 1363 00:57:06,491 --> 00:57:08,891 AND YOU'RE RIGHT -- I'M HAVING A BETTER TIME. 1364 00:57:08,926 --> 00:57:09,986 WANT TO KNOW WHY? 1365 00:57:10,027 --> 00:57:11,997 BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T TELL ME WHAT I'M THINKING 1366 00:57:12,029 --> 00:57:13,699 AND LEAD ME AROUND ON A LEASH, 1367 00:57:13,731 --> 00:57:15,701 AND SHE DOESN'T HANG HOCKNEYS ON MY WALL 1368 00:57:15,733 --> 00:57:17,943 AND SHE DOESN'T DRIVE ME CRAZY WITH BULLSHIT 1369 00:57:17,968 --> 00:57:19,668 WHILE I'M EATING! 1370 00:57:21,639 --> 00:57:23,839 CARRIE! 1371 00:57:23,874 --> 00:57:26,214 LET ME IN! 1372 00:57:41,526 --> 00:57:45,526 WILMA!! 1373 00:57:45,563 --> 00:57:48,203 AW! HATE TO SEE THAT HAPPEN. 1374 00:57:48,232 --> 00:57:50,102 [ BUZZER ] 1375 00:57:50,134 --> 00:57:53,804 [ CHUCKLES ] I'LL GO MAKE UP THE COUCH. 1376 00:57:53,838 --> 00:57:57,938 SO, SHE LOCKED YOU OUT OF YOUR OWN APARTMENT. 1377 00:57:57,975 --> 00:57:58,975 OUR APARTMENT. 1378 00:57:59,009 --> 00:58:00,179 MM-HMM. 1379 00:58:00,210 --> 00:58:02,680 WELL... 1380 00:58:02,713 --> 00:58:06,523 I SAY LET HER STAY THERE. 1381 00:58:06,551 --> 00:58:08,951 LET HER SIT IN THE APARTMENT WITH HER PLANTS 1382 00:58:08,986 --> 00:58:11,556 AND HER ROLLED-UP SOCKS AND HER HOCKSTER PAINTINGS. 1383 00:58:11,589 --> 00:58:12,889 HOCKNEY. 1384 00:58:12,923 --> 00:58:14,163 ELI -- 1385 00:58:14,191 --> 00:58:17,961 WHATEVER IT IS, IT'S HERS. SHE CAN HAVE IT. 1386 00:58:17,995 --> 00:58:21,265 I'VE GOT THE OLD DAVID BACK, DON'T I? 1387 00:58:21,298 --> 00:58:22,728 YEAH. 1388 00:58:22,767 --> 00:58:23,997 YEAH. 1389 00:58:24,034 --> 00:58:27,044 Y-YOU DO REMEMBER THE OLD DAVID, DON'T YOU? 1390 00:58:27,071 --> 00:58:29,241 COME ON, QUICK -- THE THREE F's. 1391 00:58:29,273 --> 00:58:31,113 F... WHAT ARE THEY? 1392 00:58:31,141 --> 00:58:32,741 F... FILM. 1393 00:58:32,777 --> 00:58:34,947 YEAH. F... FOOD. 1394 00:58:34,979 --> 00:58:37,849 YES! FILM, FOOD, FUCK. YES! 1395 00:58:37,882 --> 00:58:40,052 [ CHUCKLES ] WELCOME BACK, DAVID. 1396 00:58:41,919 --> 00:58:43,949 SO, WHY DID WE BREAK UP? 1397 00:58:43,988 --> 00:58:46,318 WHY DOES ANYBODY BREAK UP? 1398 00:58:46,356 --> 00:58:48,886 HER FRIENDS DON'T LIKE YOUR FRIENDS. 1399 00:58:48,926 --> 00:58:50,626 HER MOTHER DOESN'T LIKE YOU. 1400 00:58:50,661 --> 00:58:53,931 SHE'S A PRUDE. YOU'RE AN INCONSIDERATE SLOB. 1401 00:58:53,964 --> 00:58:56,104 SHE FORGETS TO CAP THE TOOTHPASTE. 1402 00:58:56,133 --> 00:58:58,943 YOU LIKE TO SLEEP WITH THE WINDOW OPEN. 1403 00:58:58,969 --> 00:59:01,909 IS THAT WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT? 1404 00:59:01,939 --> 00:59:04,939 OR IS BEING WITH SOMEBODY LIKE... 1405 00:59:04,975 --> 00:59:06,635 GETTING TOO CLOSE TO THE SUN? 1406 00:59:06,677 --> 00:59:08,007 Y-Y-YOU GOTTA JUMP BACK 1407 00:59:08,045 --> 00:59:10,645 OR YOU'RE GONNA GET BURNED OR GO BLIND. 1408 00:59:10,681 --> 00:59:13,251 [ TELEPHONE RINGS ] 1409 00:59:14,251 --> 00:59:15,991 Carrie: HI, YOU'VE REACHED THE APARTMENT 1410 00:59:16,020 --> 00:59:17,860 OF CARRIE AND MR. SHIT. 1411 00:59:17,888 --> 00:59:20,688 WE'RE NOT HERE RIGHT NOW, AND IF HE WERE, I WOULDN'T BE. 1412 00:59:20,725 --> 00:59:21,725 BYE. 1413 00:59:21,759 --> 00:59:22,859 [ BEEP ] 1414 00:59:28,666 --> 00:59:31,266 ...EARN 1 1/2 TIMES OUR INCOME FOR THE SAME FUCKING JOB, 1415 00:59:31,301 --> 00:59:33,071 NUT-SCRATCHING, BEER-BELCHING, 1416 00:59:33,103 --> 00:59:35,013 "WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU?" LIKE HE REALLY CARES, 1417 00:59:35,039 --> 00:59:36,939 BELLIGERENT, "HEY, WHAT'S ON CABLE?" 1418 00:59:36,974 --> 00:59:37,914 ONLY OWN THREE PAIRS OF SHOES 1419 00:59:37,942 --> 00:59:40,012 AND PAY HALF OF WHAT YOU DO FOR FORMALWEAR 1420 00:59:40,044 --> 00:59:41,654 AND THEN CAN WEAR IT AGAIN, 1421 00:59:41,679 --> 00:59:43,309 SPORTS-OBSESSED, GENETICALLY INFERIOR, 1422 00:59:43,347 --> 00:59:45,817 ORALLY FIXATED, PERPETUALLY ADOLESCENT -- 1423 00:59:45,850 --> 00:59:48,050 LEFT, LEFT, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT. 1424 00:59:48,085 --> 00:59:49,115 LEFT. 1425 00:59:49,153 --> 00:59:52,323 I THINK MY FRIEND DAVID NEEDS A REFRESHER COURSE. 1426 00:59:52,356 --> 00:59:53,986 BACK TO BASICS. 1427 00:59:54,024 --> 00:59:55,964 LIGHTS! 1428 00:59:58,896 --> 01:00:00,726 YOU REALLY THINK THIS IS NECESSARY? 1429 01:00:00,765 --> 01:00:02,065 IT'S VERY DARK IN A BAR. 1430 01:00:02,099 --> 01:00:04,199 YOU'RE NOT SPIDER-MAN, OKAY? 1431 01:00:04,234 --> 01:00:07,104 BEING ABLE TO IDENTIFY A WOMAN BY SILHOUETTE 1432 01:00:07,137 --> 01:00:10,107 PROVES TO BE BOTH NECESSARY AND COST-EFFECTIVE. 1433 01:00:10,140 --> 01:00:11,410 [ SCOFFS ] LOOK, DAVID, 1434 01:00:11,441 --> 01:00:14,851 NO ONE CAN AFFORD TO BUY A DRINK FOR EVERY UGLY WOMAN IN A BAR -- 1435 01:00:14,879 --> 01:00:17,109 NOT YOU, NOT ME, NOT THE BROTHERS SHEARSON LEHMAN. 1436 01:00:17,147 --> 01:00:18,647 ELI, COME ON. 1437 01:00:18,683 --> 01:00:20,693 OKAY. YOU'RE GONNA LIKE THIS, HUH? 1438 01:00:20,718 --> 01:00:23,018 THIS'LL BE GOOD FOR YOU. 1439 01:00:23,053 --> 01:00:25,163 BABE OR TROLL? 1440 01:00:25,189 --> 01:00:26,389 BABE. 1441 01:00:26,423 --> 01:00:27,693 EH... 1442 01:00:27,725 --> 01:00:30,655 YES. VERY NICE. NICELY DONE. 1443 01:00:30,695 --> 01:00:31,955 AND NEXT. 1444 01:00:31,996 --> 01:00:33,326 BABE... 1445 01:00:33,363 --> 01:00:35,003 OR TROLL? 1446 01:00:35,032 --> 01:00:37,972 ELI, I...CAN'T REALLY -- 1447 01:00:38,002 --> 01:00:39,702 YES, YOU CAN. 1448 01:00:39,737 --> 01:00:41,737 THINK. COME ON. YOU'VE GOT TIME. 1449 01:00:43,007 --> 01:00:44,307 BABE. 1450 01:00:47,177 --> 01:00:48,807 YES! 1451 01:00:48,846 --> 01:00:50,446 YES, CLAUDIA. 1452 01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:52,250 MMM, CLAUDIA. [ INHALES SHARPLY ] 1453 01:00:52,282 --> 01:00:55,052 BUY A DRINK FOR CLAUDIA? MNH-MNH. I DON'T THINK SO. 1454 01:00:55,085 --> 01:00:56,345 BUY A CONDO FOR CLAUDIA. 1455 01:00:56,386 --> 01:00:59,116 UH, OKAY, ELI, THIS IS ALL VERY WELL AND GOOD, 1456 01:00:59,156 --> 01:01:01,886 BUT DOES INTELLIGENCE FACTOR INTO THIS AT ALL? 1457 01:01:01,926 --> 01:01:04,926 YOU WANT BRAINS, FUCK MARGARET THATCHER. 1458 01:01:04,962 --> 01:01:06,032 NEXT. 1459 01:01:07,765 --> 01:01:09,025 BABE OR TROLL? 1460 01:01:09,066 --> 01:01:11,196 OH, BABE, DEFINITELY. 1461 01:01:11,235 --> 01:01:15,005 OH, THAT'S A SHAME. 1462 01:01:15,039 --> 01:01:16,039 HMM? 1463 01:01:16,073 --> 01:01:20,853 YOU'VE CHOSEN MARGE SIMPSON... 1464 01:01:20,878 --> 01:01:23,378 AN ANIMATED CARTOON OF A HAUSFRAU 1465 01:01:23,413 --> 01:01:24,983 TO TURN YOUR CRANK. 1466 01:01:25,015 --> 01:01:26,345 YOU MUST BE VERY PLEASED. 1467 01:01:26,383 --> 01:01:27,953 JESSICA RABBIT, I COULD UNDERSTAND. 1468 01:01:27,985 --> 01:01:30,915 EVEN MYSELF, I'VE THOUGHT ON OCCASION, "YES," BUT MARGE? 1469 01:01:30,955 --> 01:01:32,555 I DON'T THINK SO. 1470 01:01:32,589 --> 01:01:34,219 WE'VE HAD ENOUGH FOR TODAY, THOUGH. LET'S GO OUT AND HAVE SOME FUN. 1471 01:01:34,258 --> 01:01:35,258 OKAY. 1472 01:01:35,292 --> 01:01:37,462 HE'S READY. I CAN FEEL IT. 1473 01:01:37,494 --> 01:01:40,934 HE'S READY TO RE-ENTER SOCIETY A REFORMED MAN. 1474 01:01:40,965 --> 01:01:43,095 SURE, SURE, I GOTTA WORRY ABOUT A RELAPSE, 1475 01:01:43,133 --> 01:01:45,803 BUT I GOT TWO WORDS THAT SHOULD DO THE TRICK -- 1476 01:01:45,836 --> 01:01:47,436 "TRACY SEYMOUR," 1477 01:01:47,471 --> 01:01:51,911 A.K.A. "LET'S 'SEE MORE' TRACY"... 1478 01:01:51,942 --> 01:01:54,382 A SURE THING. 1479 01:01:54,411 --> 01:01:56,181 [ CONGA MUSIC PLAYS ] 1480 01:02:04,121 --> 01:02:06,261 [ LAUGHS ] Eli: PING-PONG BALLS? 1481 01:02:06,290 --> 01:02:08,490 I THOUGHT YOU WANTED KING KONG'S BALLS. 1482 01:02:08,525 --> 01:02:11,095 OH, THAT IS A GREAT JOKE! 1483 01:02:11,128 --> 01:02:12,098 [ LAUGHS ] 1484 01:02:12,129 --> 01:02:14,969 THAT'S VERY FUNNY. 1485 01:02:14,999 --> 01:02:17,869 IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE THE GUY WANTED -- RIGHT? -- 1486 01:02:17,902 --> 01:02:20,342 TO PLAY PING-PONG, AND THEN STRUCTURALLY, 1487 01:02:20,370 --> 01:02:22,970 IT'S A FUNNY JOKE BECAUSE HE WANTS -- Let's get out of here. 1488 01:02:23,007 --> 01:02:25,037 THE GUY WANTS PING-PONG BALLS, RIGHT? Come on. 1489 01:02:25,075 --> 01:02:27,005 AND THE STORE OWNER THINKS LITERALLY THAT HE -- 1490 01:02:27,044 --> 01:02:30,014 LIKE, IF YOU WANTED POTATO SALAD AND YOU ASKED FOR COLESLAW, 1491 01:02:30,047 --> 01:02:32,277 SO YOU ASK FOR POTATO SALAD, AND THE GUY SAYS, 1492 01:02:32,316 --> 01:02:34,546 "I HAVE, UH... COLESLAW FOR YOU, 1493 01:02:34,584 --> 01:02:36,424 AND WHY NOT GIVE ME, UH --" 1494 01:02:36,453 --> 01:02:39,023 BUT IN THIS CASE, YOU ASKED FOR PING-PONG BALLS 1495 01:02:39,056 --> 01:02:40,116 AND YOU GOT HUGE GORILLA BALLS! 1496 01:02:40,157 --> 01:02:42,457 THAT'S VERY FUNNY. 1497 01:02:46,030 --> 01:02:48,230 [ SLOW JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS ] 1498 01:02:48,265 --> 01:02:50,095 DAVID. 1499 01:02:56,974 --> 01:02:59,914 TRACY, I CAN'T MAKE LOVE TO YOU. 1500 01:02:59,944 --> 01:03:01,914 I'M SORRY. WHAT? 1501 01:03:01,946 --> 01:03:05,046 TRACY, I CAN'T MAKE LOVE TO YOU. 1502 01:03:05,082 --> 01:03:06,922 ONE MORE TIME, PLEASE. 1503 01:03:06,951 --> 01:03:08,351 I CAN'T MAKE LOVE TO YOU. 1504 01:03:08,385 --> 01:03:11,085 OH, I-I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT HE SAID. 1505 01:03:11,121 --> 01:03:12,221 AAAAAAH! 1506 01:03:12,256 --> 01:03:14,016 FINE. 1507 01:03:14,058 --> 01:03:15,928 I'LL WALK YOU HOME. 1508 01:03:15,960 --> 01:03:18,200 NO. I'LL BE FINE. 1509 01:03:19,296 --> 01:03:21,466 [ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ] 1510 01:03:30,574 --> 01:03:32,014 Carrie: Hello? 1511 01:03:32,042 --> 01:03:33,312 CARRIE, IT'S ME. 1512 01:03:33,343 --> 01:03:35,113 [ Dial tone ] [ Sighing ] I, UH... 1513 01:03:35,145 --> 01:03:37,575 REALLY NEED TO TALK TO YOU. 1514 01:03:44,188 --> 01:03:47,018 YOU FUCKIN' PUSSY. 1515 01:03:50,260 --> 01:03:53,930 IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU FINALLY MEET THE RIGHT PERSON. 1516 01:03:53,964 --> 01:03:56,534 I MEAN, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO ME IS COMMITMENT. 1517 01:03:56,566 --> 01:03:58,966 I MEAN, WE'RE ALL AFRAID TO TRUST. 1518 01:03:59,003 --> 01:04:01,343 AND I DON'T JUST MEAN TRUST EACH OTHER -- 1519 01:04:01,371 --> 01:04:05,311 I MEAN TRUST OURSELVES, TRUST OUR FEELINGS. 1520 01:04:05,342 --> 01:04:07,512 AND SHARE THOSE FEELINGS. 1521 01:04:07,544 --> 01:04:10,484 I MEAN, WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO -- READ MY MIND? 1522 01:04:10,514 --> 01:04:14,084 NO. MEN AND WOMEN HAVE TO TELL EACH OTHER WHAT THEY WANT. 1523 01:04:14,118 --> 01:04:15,948 I CAN TELL YOU WHAT I WANT, CARRIE. 1524 01:04:15,986 --> 01:04:20,586 I WANT A RELATIONSHIP BASED ON HONESTY, TRUST, 1525 01:04:20,624 --> 01:04:22,464 AND CONTINUAL COMMUNICATION, 1526 01:04:22,492 --> 01:04:24,392 [ PAGER BEEPING ] AND -- OH. 1527 01:04:24,428 --> 01:04:27,098 OH, I GOTTA TAKE THAT. EXCUSE ME. 1528 01:04:27,131 --> 01:04:30,531 COULD I GET YOU ANYTHING ELSE? 1529 01:04:33,938 --> 01:04:36,108 HOW'S THE CHEESECAKE? 1530 01:04:36,140 --> 01:04:37,980 [ SIGHS ] 1531 01:04:38,008 --> 01:04:41,078 THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN NOT GETTING WHAT YOU WANT 1532 01:04:41,111 --> 01:04:43,181 IS GETTING WHAT YOU WANT. 1533 01:04:43,213 --> 01:04:46,983 OSCAR WILDE. HE KNEW. 1534 01:04:47,717 --> 01:04:48,747 Man on television: ...CUBIC ZIRCONIA. 1535 01:04:48,785 --> 01:04:51,015 NICE MATCHING RUBIES, VIBRANT COLOR, 1536 01:04:51,055 --> 01:04:53,485 THE GEMSTONE OF THE SOULS, AS IT'S BEEN CALLED. 1537 01:04:53,523 --> 01:04:56,333 ONLY $35. 1538 01:04:56,360 --> 01:04:58,260 * I AM SUCH A FUNNY CLOWN 1539 01:04:58,295 --> 01:05:00,195 * I LIKE TO TRAVEL 'ROUND AND 'ROUND * 1540 01:05:00,230 --> 01:05:02,200 * THE CIRCUS IS MY HOME 1541 01:05:02,232 --> 01:05:04,102 * I ALWAYS SLEEP ALONE 1542 01:05:04,134 --> 01:05:09,114 [ SLOW CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS ] 1543 01:05:25,322 --> 01:05:26,992 [ GRUNTS ] 1544 01:05:27,992 --> 01:05:29,992 OHH! MAKE UP OR BREAK UP! 1545 01:05:30,027 --> 01:05:32,327 THIS STALEMATE HAS GOT TO END. 1546 01:05:32,362 --> 01:05:34,262 YOU KNOW, FOR ONCE, I AGREE WITH HER. 1547 01:05:34,298 --> 01:05:35,968 I DO. I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENS. 1548 01:05:36,000 --> 01:05:38,540 I JUST WANT MY COUCH BACK. 1549 01:05:38,568 --> 01:05:42,008 [ SIGHS ] HE'S NOT CALLING HER. SHE'S NOT CALLING HIM. 1550 01:05:42,039 --> 01:05:44,209 CAN SOMEONE HELP THIS COUPLE? 1551 01:05:44,241 --> 01:05:45,741 [ "NIGHTLINE" THEME PLAYS ] 1552 01:05:45,775 --> 01:05:50,475 GOOD EVENING. I'M TED KOPPEL, AND THIS... 1553 01:05:50,514 --> 01:05:52,284 IS "NIGHTLINE." 1554 01:05:52,316 --> 01:05:55,086 TONIGHT, "LOVE ON THE ROCKS" -- 1555 01:05:55,119 --> 01:05:57,349 CROWN VERSUS DAVENPORT. 1556 01:05:57,387 --> 01:06:01,487 YOU'D HAVE TO BE LIVING IN A VACUUM THE PAST WEEK 1557 01:06:01,525 --> 01:06:03,385 NOT TO NOTICE THE FRICTION 1558 01:06:03,427 --> 01:06:06,297 BETWEEN YOUNG LOVERS DAVID CROWN 1559 01:06:06,330 --> 01:06:08,470 AND CARRIE DAVENPORT. 1560 01:06:08,498 --> 01:06:12,598 STANDING BY IN OUR BOSTON AFFILIATE, 1561 01:06:12,636 --> 01:06:15,366 THE PRINCIPALS. 1562 01:06:15,405 --> 01:06:18,435 DAVID, IS THERE A CASE TO BE MADE 1563 01:06:18,475 --> 01:06:20,335 THAT THE FINAL BLOWUP 1564 01:06:20,377 --> 01:06:26,277 WAS ONLY SYMPTOMATIC OF MUCH DEEPER PROBLEMS? 1565 01:06:26,316 --> 01:06:29,116 DEEPER PROBLEMS? 1566 01:06:29,153 --> 01:06:30,493 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 1567 01:06:30,520 --> 01:06:34,020 DAVID, I'M REFERRING TO THIS "MISSING OUT" FEELING, 1568 01:06:34,058 --> 01:06:38,028 WHICH, AS YOU PUT IT, HAS, AND I QUOTE, 1569 01:06:38,062 --> 01:06:41,272 "HAUNTED ME MY ENTIRE LIFE." 1570 01:06:41,298 --> 01:06:43,428 PHEW! WHO DOES YOUR RESEARCH? 1571 01:06:43,467 --> 01:06:47,267 WHY DO YOU WORRY ABOUT WHAT YOU MIGHT BE MISSING, DAVID, 1572 01:06:47,304 --> 01:06:50,714 OUTSIDE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH MISS DAVENPORT, 1573 01:06:50,740 --> 01:06:52,780 INSTEAD OF CONCENTRATING ON CREATING 1574 01:06:52,809 --> 01:06:56,649 A DEEPER, MORE MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP WITH HER? 1575 01:06:56,680 --> 01:06:58,780 IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T LOVE HER. 1576 01:06:58,815 --> 01:07:02,045 I-I DO. I-I LOVE HER WITH ALL MY HEART. 1577 01:07:02,086 --> 01:07:04,386 I-I JUST... 1578 01:07:04,421 --> 01:07:07,691 I DON'T KNOW. SOMETIMES I-I FEEL TRAPPED. 1579 01:07:07,724 --> 01:07:10,094 BUT WHY, DAVID? I'M NOT TRYING TO TRAP YOU. 1580 01:07:10,127 --> 01:07:12,357 YEAH, I KNOW THAT, HON. I JUST -- UM... 1581 01:07:12,396 --> 01:07:18,096 CARRIE, DAVID IS SIMPLY EXPRESSING A GENERAL FEAR OF COMMITMENT. 1582 01:07:18,135 --> 01:07:22,465 LET ME SEE IF I CAN GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE. 1583 01:07:24,141 --> 01:07:25,711 WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? 1584 01:07:25,742 --> 01:07:27,212 NO, TED, SHH! 1585 01:07:27,244 --> 01:07:30,054 LOOK, WE'RE TRYING TO REACH AN ACCORD HERE, OKAY? 1586 01:07:31,848 --> 01:07:34,518 CARRIE? 1587 01:07:34,551 --> 01:07:39,591 I WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO CHANGE... 1588 01:07:39,623 --> 01:07:45,333 BECAUSE... I-I LOVE YOU... 1589 01:07:45,362 --> 01:07:47,162 AND I NEED YOU. 1590 01:07:48,398 --> 01:07:50,828 AND... 1591 01:07:50,867 --> 01:07:53,167 I WANT TO COME HOME. 1592 01:07:56,673 --> 01:07:59,513 TED, HOW DO WE GET OUT OF THESE BOXES? 1593 01:08:04,914 --> 01:08:08,694 [ SOFT MUSIC PLAYS ] 1594 01:08:21,865 --> 01:08:24,295 LINGUINE AND CLAM SAUCE. 1595 01:08:24,334 --> 01:08:26,274 YOUR FAVORITE. 1596 01:08:26,303 --> 01:08:28,313 THAT'S VERY SWEET OF YOU. 1597 01:08:28,338 --> 01:08:30,438 IT IS. 1598 01:08:30,474 --> 01:08:32,244 BUT, UM... 1599 01:08:32,276 --> 01:08:35,606 WHY DON'T WE TRY SOMETHING JUST... 1600 01:08:35,645 --> 01:08:37,145 A LITTLE DIFFERENT? 1601 01:08:37,181 --> 01:08:38,621 MMM. 1602 01:08:42,852 --> 01:08:43,822 UNH! 1603 01:08:43,853 --> 01:08:44,793 UHH... 1604 01:08:44,821 --> 01:08:47,161 THAT'S IT -- DRIVE IT. FOUL! THAT'S A FOUL! 1605 01:08:47,191 --> 01:08:48,021 WHERE'S THE CALL?! 1606 01:08:48,057 --> 01:08:49,927 WHERE'S THE FUCKING CALL?! OH, MAN! 1607 01:08:49,959 --> 01:08:52,559 THERE SHOULD BE -- DAVID, DO YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT? 1608 01:08:52,596 --> 01:08:55,166 THIS LIVER'S GREAT. WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED? 1609 01:08:55,199 --> 01:08:57,669 BIRD BRINGS IT IN, AROUND-THE-BACK PASS TO LEWIS, RIGHT? 1610 01:08:57,701 --> 01:09:00,941 SWEET BASELINE MOVE, AND THEN LAIMBEER AND RODMAN MUG HIM. 1611 01:09:00,970 --> 01:09:02,940 NO, NO, THEY RAPE HIM, LIKE IN PRISON! 1612 01:09:02,972 --> 01:09:04,542 THE PISTONS AREN'T A TEAM. 1613 01:09:04,574 --> 01:09:06,844 THEY'RE THE MANSON FAMILY IN SHORTS. HERE. 1614 01:09:06,876 --> 01:09:09,446 YOU LIKED THAT -- THE LIVER, RIGHT? IT'S GREAT. 1615 01:09:09,479 --> 01:09:11,579 OKAY, NOW TRY THE PASTA SALAD WITH PEPPERS. 1616 01:09:11,615 --> 01:09:13,775 GIVE ME A "T" HERE. DO I LIKE THIS? 1617 01:09:13,817 --> 01:09:15,817 [ AIR HORN BLARES ] HOLD ON, FOLKS. 1618 01:09:15,852 --> 01:09:18,662 I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT I'VE JUST HEARD. 1619 01:09:18,688 --> 01:09:20,858 "DO I LIKE THIS?" WHAT? 1620 01:09:20,890 --> 01:09:22,230 YOU ALL RIGHT? 1621 01:09:22,259 --> 01:09:24,289 DID I HEAR YOU CORRECTLY? 1622 01:09:24,328 --> 01:09:27,658 DID YOU ASK HER IF YOU LIKED A PARTICULAR FOOD? 1623 01:09:27,697 --> 01:09:29,327 SO? SO? 1624 01:09:29,366 --> 01:09:30,696 SO?! 1625 01:09:30,734 --> 01:09:32,674 THAT'S A QUESTION THAT AN OLD MAN 1626 01:09:32,702 --> 01:09:34,372 ASKS HIS WIFE AT A SALAD BAR -- 1627 01:09:34,404 --> 01:09:36,844 COUPLES WHO HAVE BEEN MARRIED THOUSANDS OF YEARS. 1628 01:09:36,873 --> 01:09:40,483 MEN WHO NO LONGER OWN THEIR OWN PROSTATE. 1629 01:09:40,510 --> 01:09:44,350 MEN WHO HAVE NO FREE WILL ASK THAT QUESTION. 1630 01:09:44,381 --> 01:09:46,451 IT'S BEYOND PATHETIC. 1631 01:09:46,483 --> 01:09:48,693 I HAVE A RADIO IN MY CAR. 1632 01:09:48,718 --> 01:09:50,688 OH, GUYS! ZOE, WAIT. 1633 01:09:50,720 --> 01:09:51,920 ELI, IT'S THE FOURTH QUARTER. 1634 01:09:51,955 --> 01:09:53,655 THEY'RE TURNING INTO THE REAGANS. 1635 01:09:53,690 --> 01:09:54,820 DO I HATE THIS? 1636 01:09:54,858 --> 01:09:57,288 1:37 IN THE BALLGAME. 1637 01:09:58,828 --> 01:10:00,458 CARRIE. 1638 01:10:00,497 --> 01:10:03,867 [ THUNDER CRASHES ] 1639 01:10:05,435 --> 01:10:06,735 ELI. 1640 01:10:06,770 --> 01:10:07,840 YES, DAVID? 1641 01:10:07,871 --> 01:10:09,241 WHERE'S CARRIE? 1642 01:10:09,273 --> 01:10:11,843 OH, WELL, I'D RATHER... 1643 01:10:11,875 --> 01:10:13,835 I KNOW YOU THINK I'M PUSSY-WHIPPED, BUT TELL ME WHERE SHE IS. 1644 01:10:13,877 --> 01:10:14,777 I WON'T. 1645 01:10:14,811 --> 01:10:16,511 YOU KNOW WHERE SHE IS. TELL ME WHERE SHE IS. 1646 01:10:16,546 --> 01:10:17,906 I'D REALLY RATHER NOT SAY. 1647 01:10:17,947 --> 01:10:19,647 PLEASE, ELI, TELL ME WHERE SHE IS. 1648 01:10:19,683 --> 01:10:21,853 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LIKE IT, DAVID. WHERE IS SHE? 1649 01:10:21,885 --> 01:10:24,245 SHE GOT TIRED OF WAITING FOR YOU TO COMMIT. 1650 01:10:24,288 --> 01:10:26,888 WHERE'S CARRIE? WHERE IS SHE?! WHERE IS SHE?! 1651 01:10:26,923 --> 01:10:29,893 SHE'S ABOUT TO MARRY A PROCTOLOGIST! 1652 01:10:29,926 --> 01:10:31,526 TAXI! TAXI! OOF! 1653 01:10:31,561 --> 01:10:35,271 [ VOICE ECHOING ] 1654 01:10:35,299 --> 01:10:38,339 [ BREATHING HEAVILY ] 1655 01:10:38,368 --> 01:10:39,798 [ SIGHS ] 1656 01:10:39,836 --> 01:10:42,366 I KNOW. I KNOW. 1657 01:10:42,406 --> 01:10:46,006 A DREAM IS YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS TRYING TO GET THROUGH. 1658 01:10:46,042 --> 01:10:47,612 BUT, YOU KNOW, 1659 01:10:47,644 --> 01:10:50,754 IT'S LIKE A BAD CONNECTION TO WABASH, AUSTRALIA. 1660 01:10:50,780 --> 01:10:53,520 YOU MISS EVERY OTHER WORD, AND NOTHING MAKES SENSE. 1661 01:10:57,321 --> 01:10:58,621 SOMEHOW YOU KNOW 1662 01:10:58,655 --> 01:11:01,015 IT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT CALL OF YOUR LIFE. 1663 01:11:03,026 --> 01:11:04,756 SO, WHAT DO YOU DO? 1664 01:11:04,794 --> 01:11:06,864 I MEAN, IF YOU CAN'T BE SURE? 1665 01:11:06,896 --> 01:11:08,696 IF YOU CAN ONLY GUESS? 1666 01:11:09,933 --> 01:11:13,303 WHEN IT'S YOUR TURN TO TALK, WHAT DO YOU SAY? 1667 01:11:18,007 --> 01:11:19,977 EXCUSE ME. 1668 01:11:20,009 --> 01:11:22,879 [ STEVE WINWOOD'S "THE FINER THINGS" PLAYS ] 1669 01:11:59,783 --> 01:12:03,753 * WHILE THERE IS TIME 1670 01:12:03,787 --> 01:12:05,047 * LET'S GO OUT... 1671 01:12:05,088 --> 01:12:06,658 CARRIE DAVENPORT... 1672 01:12:08,592 --> 01:12:09,862 * IF YOU HOLD ME 1673 01:12:09,893 --> 01:12:12,103 WILL YOU MARRY ME? 1674 01:12:12,128 --> 01:12:15,898 * I WILL LET YOU INTO MY DREAMS * 1675 01:12:15,932 --> 01:12:18,442 * FOR TIME IS A RIVER 1676 01:12:18,468 --> 01:12:19,938 I WILL. 1677 01:12:19,969 --> 01:12:21,769 * ROLL-- [ RECORD SCRATCHES ] 1678 01:12:21,805 --> 01:12:22,935 [ GASPS ] 1679 01:12:22,972 --> 01:12:23,972 [ THUD ] 1680 01:12:29,879 --> 01:12:34,119 I WILL. I WILL. I WILL. 1681 01:12:34,150 --> 01:12:37,720 REACTIONS WERE... VARIED. 1682 01:12:37,754 --> 01:12:38,994 SHIKSA. 1683 01:12:39,022 --> 01:12:40,462 OH, GOD! 1684 01:12:41,525 --> 01:12:43,885 MARRIED. MARCH. 1685 01:12:43,927 --> 01:12:46,627 LOVELY WIFE GISELLE, ARE WE IN TOWN THEN? 1686 01:12:46,663 --> 01:12:47,903 WE NAILED ONE! 1687 01:12:47,931 --> 01:12:49,101 [ CHEERING ] 1688 01:12:49,132 --> 01:12:52,172 HEY, GUYS, MAN OVERBOARD! MAN OVERBOARD! 1689 01:12:52,201 --> 01:12:54,471 WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE. 1690 01:12:54,504 --> 01:12:56,844 THIS MEANS WE GET TO THROW A BACHELOR PARTY, RIGHT? 1691 01:12:56,873 --> 01:12:59,483 YEAH! WHOO! YEAH! YEAH! 1692 01:13:00,043 --> 01:13:01,413 [ CHATTERING ] 1693 01:13:01,445 --> 01:13:02,905 [ CHATTERING ] 1694 01:13:02,946 --> 01:13:03,846 [ CHATTERING ] 1695 01:13:03,880 --> 01:13:05,780 [ BULLFIGHTING MUSIC PLAYS ] 1696 01:13:05,815 --> 01:13:07,015 [ WOMEN CHEERING ] 1697 01:13:19,062 --> 01:13:20,162 [ BLUES MUSIC PLAYS ] 1698 01:13:20,196 --> 01:13:24,096 LOVE'S LATEST VICTIM, DAVID CROWN. 1699 01:13:24,133 --> 01:13:27,803 DAVID, FROM YOUR BEST MAN... 1700 01:13:27,837 --> 01:13:30,037 TO HIS BEST FRIEND. 1701 01:13:32,909 --> 01:13:34,909 THE KEY TO MY HOTEL ROOM 1702 01:13:34,944 --> 01:13:36,984 AND TO THE CITY... 1703 01:13:37,013 --> 01:13:39,053 ARE YOURS. 1704 01:13:39,082 --> 01:13:40,452 DAVID? 1705 01:13:40,484 --> 01:13:41,494 HEY, DAVID. 1706 01:13:41,518 --> 01:13:42,818 [ DRUMROLL ] 1707 01:13:42,852 --> 01:13:43,952 HI! 1708 01:13:43,987 --> 01:13:46,087 DAVID. DAVID. HELLO! 1709 01:13:47,957 --> 01:13:49,787 UH-OH. UH-OH. 1710 01:13:49,826 --> 01:13:51,026 YOU'RE THE BEST MAN, SON. 1711 01:13:51,060 --> 01:13:53,530 YOU SHOULD KNOW WHERE HE IS AT ALL TIMES. 1712 01:13:53,563 --> 01:13:55,233 SO, UH, WHERE IS SHE, ZOE? 1713 01:13:55,264 --> 01:13:56,904 AND WHY IS SHE THERE? 1714 01:13:56,933 --> 01:13:58,573 [ SIGHS ] WELL, I'M NOT SURE. 1715 01:13:58,602 --> 01:14:00,572 BUT I'M SURE THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF HER LIFE. 1716 01:14:00,604 --> 01:14:01,914 [ CHUCKLES ] IT BETTER BE. 1717 01:14:01,938 --> 01:14:03,708 THE NATIVES ARE GETTING RESTLESS. 1718 01:14:03,740 --> 01:14:05,070 NO SHIT. WE NEED SOME ENTERTAINMENT. 1719 01:14:05,108 --> 01:14:06,638 DO YOU PLAY THE PIANO, SIR? 1720 01:14:06,676 --> 01:14:07,806 NO! 1721 01:14:07,844 --> 01:14:11,214 BUT MY LOVELY WIFE, GISELLE, DOES. 1722 01:14:11,247 --> 01:14:12,977 FIND HIM! 1723 01:14:16,520 --> 01:14:17,520 AAH! 1724 01:14:17,554 --> 01:14:19,124 AAH! 1725 01:14:31,968 --> 01:14:33,538 HI. 1726 01:14:34,070 --> 01:14:36,040 HIYA. 1727 01:14:49,252 --> 01:14:51,562 HOW'S DAVID? 1728 01:14:51,588 --> 01:14:53,588 IT WAS HARD TO TELL. 1729 01:14:54,658 --> 01:14:56,958 ZOE, YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND. 1730 01:14:56,993 --> 01:14:59,633 WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO US IF I GET MARRIED? 1731 01:15:00,697 --> 01:15:02,597 NOTHING. 1732 01:15:03,132 --> 01:15:06,002 WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO ME IF I GET MARRIED? 1733 01:15:07,236 --> 01:15:09,066 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 1734 01:15:09,105 --> 01:15:10,905 [ INHALES DEEPLY ] 1735 01:15:10,940 --> 01:15:13,540 REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID TO ME AT MY PARTY -- 1736 01:15:13,577 --> 01:15:15,207 ABOUT ME LOSING MY IDENTITY? 1737 01:15:15,244 --> 01:15:17,984 I KNOW YOU WERE KIDDING... 1738 01:15:18,014 --> 01:15:20,254 BUT I DON'T KNOW -- I THINK YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT. 1739 01:15:21,851 --> 01:15:23,651 WELL, I WAS RIGHT. 1740 01:15:23,687 --> 01:15:25,687 I MEAN, YOU WILL LOSE YOUR IDENTITY, 1741 01:15:25,722 --> 01:15:29,892 BUT ONLY TO FIND... A NEW IDENTITY. 1742 01:15:29,926 --> 01:15:32,196 AND NO OFFENSE -- MAYBE A BETTER ONE. 1743 01:15:32,228 --> 01:15:34,058 AS A WIFE? 1744 01:15:34,097 --> 01:15:36,197 AS A WIFE... 1745 01:15:36,232 --> 01:15:37,972 AS A MOTHER... 1746 01:15:38,001 --> 01:15:40,041 AS A GRANDMOTHER. 1747 01:15:40,069 --> 01:15:41,339 [ LAUGHS ] 1748 01:15:41,370 --> 01:15:44,810 BOY, CAN YOU IMAGINE ME AS A GRANDMOTHER? 1749 01:15:44,841 --> 01:15:46,611 SURE! 1750 01:15:50,146 --> 01:15:52,846 ZOE, CAN I RELY ON HIM? 1751 01:15:54,317 --> 01:15:57,587 CAN I RELY ON -- ON ME? 1752 01:16:00,790 --> 01:16:03,030 DO YOU LOVE HIM? 1753 01:16:05,895 --> 01:16:07,125 YES. 1754 01:16:08,364 --> 01:16:11,234 WOULD YOU RATHER GO BACK TO LIVING WITH ME? 1755 01:16:11,267 --> 01:16:12,797 [ CHUCKLES SOFTLY ] 1756 01:16:12,836 --> 01:16:14,596 I LOVE YOU, TOO, BUT... 1757 01:16:14,638 --> 01:16:15,738 [ LAUGHS ] 1758 01:16:16,806 --> 01:16:18,876 THEN LET'S GO GET MARRIED. 1759 01:16:21,110 --> 01:16:23,050 OKAY. OKAY. 1760 01:16:23,079 --> 01:16:25,109 [ BOTH SNIFFLING ] 1761 01:16:49,105 --> 01:16:50,905 HEY, YOU'RE IN MY SEAT. 1762 01:16:50,940 --> 01:16:53,310 HOW'D YOU KNOW I'D BE HERE? 1763 01:16:55,044 --> 01:16:56,284 [ GROANS ] COME ON. 1764 01:16:56,312 --> 01:16:58,312 WE'VE BEEN COMING HERE SINCE WE WERE 6. 1765 01:17:00,083 --> 01:17:02,893 OH, BY THE WAY, KENNETH IS, UH... 1766 01:17:02,919 --> 01:17:04,889 MUY PISSED. 1767 01:17:04,921 --> 01:17:07,391 HOW ABOUT CARRIE? 1768 01:17:07,423 --> 01:17:11,703 SHE, UH...DIDN'T SAY. 1769 01:17:17,466 --> 01:17:21,066 EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS RIGHT HERE. 1770 01:17:22,471 --> 01:17:24,811 LIFE IS PERFECT UNDER THE GREEN MONSTER. 1771 01:17:24,841 --> 01:17:26,311 YOU EVER NOTICE THAT? 1772 01:17:27,844 --> 01:17:29,914 I'M USUALLY TOO DRUNK BY THE SIXTH INNING, 1773 01:17:29,946 --> 01:17:32,216 BUT...YEAH. 1774 01:17:36,019 --> 01:17:37,889 I DON'T THINK ANYTHING IN MY MARRIAGE 1775 01:17:37,921 --> 01:17:41,021 IS EVER GONNA BE AS...PERFECT AS THAT. 1776 01:17:41,057 --> 01:17:42,987 OH, IT WON'T BE. 1777 01:17:43,026 --> 01:17:44,326 THANK YOU. 1778 01:17:44,360 --> 01:17:47,700 I'M SORRY, DAVID, BUT IT WON'T BE. 1779 01:17:47,731 --> 01:17:48,901 WHY NOT? 1780 01:17:48,932 --> 01:17:52,342 BECAUSE MARRIAGE ISN'T BASEBALL, MAN. 1781 01:17:52,368 --> 01:17:55,708 IT ISN'T A GAME. IT'S VERY REAL. 1782 01:17:55,739 --> 01:17:58,069 BESIDES, THERE'S A LOT LESS SPITTING. 1783 01:17:59,508 --> 01:18:01,878 SO WHY AM I DOING THIS? 1784 01:18:01,911 --> 01:18:04,351 BECAUSE YOU WANT TO. 1785 01:18:04,380 --> 01:18:06,950 BECAUSE I WANT TO... EVENTUALLY. 1786 01:18:09,118 --> 01:18:11,988 YOU NEVER REALLY LIKED CARRIE, DID YOU? 1787 01:18:13,122 --> 01:18:17,162 YOU KNOW, WHEN I FIRST MET HER, I THOUGHT, "CARRIE." 1788 01:18:17,193 --> 01:18:19,903 YOU KNOW -- STEPHEN KING'S "CARRIE." 1789 01:18:21,097 --> 01:18:24,897 BUT I GOT TO KNOW HER, AND, UH... 1790 01:18:24,934 --> 01:18:28,974 SHE'S OKAY. SHE'S ALL RIGHT. SHE'S -- SHE'S GOOD. 1791 01:18:30,840 --> 01:18:34,110 I'M GONNA MARRY CARRIE DAVENPORT. 1792 01:18:42,018 --> 01:18:43,818 AH. 1793 01:18:43,853 --> 01:18:47,123 YOU KNOW, SOMEDAY -- NOT TOO SOON, BUT SOMEDAY -- 1794 01:18:47,156 --> 01:18:48,486 WE'RE GONNA COME OUT HERE, 1795 01:18:48,524 --> 01:18:50,864 AND YOU-KNOW-WHO IS GONNA BE SITTING RIGHT BETWEEN US, 1796 01:18:50,894 --> 01:18:52,064 SUCKING ON A FROSTY MALT. 1797 01:18:52,095 --> 01:18:53,795 WHO? 1798 01:18:53,830 --> 01:18:55,360 YOUR KID! "WHO?" 1799 01:18:55,398 --> 01:18:56,928 YOU THINK? 1800 01:18:56,966 --> 01:18:58,226 COME ON, THE FIRST THING 1801 01:18:58,267 --> 01:19:00,767 UNCLE ELI TEACHES THE LITTLE SPERM IN REEBOKS 1802 01:19:00,804 --> 01:19:03,544 IS HOW TO SNEAK INTO THE PARK. 1803 01:19:03,572 --> 01:19:04,542 I LOVE YOU. 1804 01:19:04,573 --> 01:19:05,983 I LOVE YOU, TOO. 1805 01:19:06,009 --> 01:19:06,909 AW. AW. AW. AW. 1806 01:19:06,943 --> 01:19:10,953 [ "HERE COMES THE BRIDE" PLAYS OFF-KEY ] 1807 01:19:10,980 --> 01:19:14,420 [ RABBI SPEAKING HEBREW ] 1808 01:19:14,450 --> 01:19:16,120 Psst. 1809 01:19:16,152 --> 01:19:18,922 I never asked you -- what do you do for a living? 1810 01:19:18,955 --> 01:19:20,355 I'm an accountant. 1811 01:19:20,389 --> 01:19:22,089 AND DO YOU, CARRIE, 1812 01:19:22,125 --> 01:19:25,555 TAKE THIS MAN, DAVID, TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED HUSBAND, 1813 01:19:25,594 --> 01:19:31,004 IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH TILL DEATH DO YOU PART? 1814 01:19:31,034 --> 01:19:32,204 I DO. 1815 01:19:32,235 --> 01:19:33,935 AND DO YOU, DAVID, 1816 01:19:33,970 --> 01:19:37,070 TAKE THIS WOMAN, CARRIE, TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED WIFE 1817 01:19:37,106 --> 01:19:38,976 IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, 1818 01:19:39,008 --> 01:19:41,908 TO LOVE, HONOR, AND RESPECT HER TILL DEATH DO YOU PART? 1819 01:19:41,945 --> 01:19:43,875 I DO. 1820 01:19:43,913 --> 01:19:46,823 THEN IF THERE IS NO ONE HERE WHO OBJECTS TO THIS UNION -- 1821 01:19:46,850 --> 01:19:49,350 THEN BY THE POWERS VESTED IN ME -- AND ME. 1822 01:19:49,385 --> 01:19:51,585 ...AND BY THE COVENANT OF MOSES AND ABRAHAM -- 1823 01:19:51,620 --> 01:19:54,020 BY GOD AND THE STATE OF MASSACHUSETTS. 1824 01:19:54,057 --> 01:19:55,587 ...BY THE STATE OF ISRAEL, 1825 01:19:55,624 --> 01:19:58,464 Together: WE NOW PRONOUNCE YOU HUSBAND AND WIFE. 1826 01:19:58,494 --> 01:20:00,034 YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE. 1827 01:20:01,130 --> 01:20:02,130 WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! 1828 01:20:02,165 --> 01:20:05,025 WE'RE NOT DONE, HUH? THAT'S IT? THIS IS IT? WHAT? 1829 01:20:05,068 --> 01:20:07,238 TALK TO ME ABOUT RULES. TALK TO ME ABOUT LOVE. 1830 01:20:07,270 --> 01:20:09,210 ALL RIGHT, IT'S A 4-LETTER WORD, HUH? 1831 01:20:09,238 --> 01:20:13,108 ALL RIGHT, WHEN KING KONG GRABBED FAY WRAY, THAT WAS LOVE, WAS IT NOT? 1832 01:20:13,142 --> 01:20:14,942 SWEET LOVE, ABSOLUTELY, YEAH. 1833 01:20:14,978 --> 01:20:16,978 BUT AFTERWARDS, BOOM! DEAD MONKEY. 1834 01:20:17,013 --> 01:20:19,483 WHAT THE HELL'S THAT? JUST TELL ME IT WAS WORTH IT, OKAY? 1835 01:20:19,515 --> 01:20:21,415 YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT IT WAS WORTH IT! 1836 01:20:21,450 --> 01:20:22,920 THEY KNEW IT THE MINUTE THEY MET. 1837 01:20:22,952 --> 01:20:24,492 I KNEW IT. 1838 01:20:24,520 --> 01:20:26,520 EVEN YOU KNEW IT, ALTHOUGH THAT DIDN'T STOP YOU 1839 01:20:26,555 --> 01:20:28,515 FROM TORTURING THEM EVERY STEP OF THE WAY, 1840 01:20:28,557 --> 01:20:30,027 DID IT, STUDMUFFINS? 1841 01:20:30,059 --> 01:20:32,099 UH, EH -- W-WHAT ARE BEST FRIENDS FOR? 1842 01:20:32,128 --> 01:20:35,098 I MEAN, I HAD TO BE SURE HE WAS SURE. 1843 01:20:35,131 --> 01:20:36,131 REALLY? 1844 01:20:36,165 --> 01:20:37,395 YES. 1845 01:20:37,433 --> 01:20:40,203 WELL, THAT'S VERY SWEET. 1846 01:20:40,236 --> 01:20:42,166 I MAY HAVE MISJUDGED YOU. 1847 01:20:42,205 --> 01:20:43,965 WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? 1848 01:20:44,007 --> 01:20:47,207 WELL, YOU WANT TO GO TO A MOVIE SOMETIME? 1849 01:20:47,243 --> 01:20:48,983 [ SCOFFS ] WHAT -- YOU AND ME? 1850 01:20:49,012 --> 01:20:50,012 YEAH. 1851 01:20:50,046 --> 01:20:51,876 DUTCH, NO STRUDEL, 1852 01:20:51,915 --> 01:20:53,315 NO HAAGEN SEX, 1853 01:20:53,349 --> 01:20:56,289 ALTHOUGH I KNOW YOU DESPERATELY WANT ME. 1854 01:20:56,319 --> 01:20:59,019 JUST A MOVIE. 1855 01:21:02,025 --> 01:21:03,025 YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE. 1856 01:21:03,059 --> 01:21:04,929 NOT SO FAST, PADRE. 1857 01:21:04,961 --> 01:21:07,431 THE CEREMONIAL BREAKING OF THE GLASS. 1858 01:21:09,065 --> 01:21:10,995 [ STOMPS ] 1859 01:21:11,034 --> 01:21:13,304 MAZEL TOV! MAZEL TOV! MAZEL TOV! 1860 01:21:13,336 --> 01:21:15,136 MAZEL TOV! 1861 01:21:15,171 --> 01:21:18,981 [ FESTIVE JEWISH MUSIC PLAYS ] 1862 01:21:20,576 --> 01:21:24,576 [ "JINGLE BELLS" PLAYS ] 1863 01:21:24,613 --> 01:21:27,083 ROLL CREDITS. 1864 01:21:28,084 --> 01:21:30,224 [ SLOW PIANO MUSIC PLAYS ] 1865 01:21:49,138 --> 01:21:51,568 * LOVE COMES 1866 01:21:51,607 --> 01:21:54,237 * LOVE GOES 1867 01:21:54,277 --> 01:21:56,647 * WHERE TO 1868 01:21:56,679 --> 01:21:59,619 * NOBODY KNOWS 1869 01:21:59,648 --> 01:22:05,048 * AND IT'S STRANGE HOW FEELINGS CHANGE * 1870 01:22:05,088 --> 01:22:09,058 * BUT IT'S ALL THE SAME TO ME 1871 01:22:10,259 --> 01:22:14,129 * WITH A LITTLE TIME 1872 01:22:15,764 --> 01:22:19,504 * THE FEELING GROWS 1873 01:22:20,703 --> 01:22:25,043 * HER HEART AND MINE 1874 01:22:26,009 --> 01:22:30,079 * I KNOW SHE KNOWS 1875 01:22:31,014 --> 01:22:34,184 * OH 1876 01:22:34,217 --> 01:22:38,487 * I'M SO HAPPY NOW 1877 01:22:41,490 --> 01:22:45,590 * OH, I WAS LOST 1878 01:22:45,628 --> 01:22:49,168 * BUT NOW I'M FOUND 1879 01:22:51,767 --> 01:22:54,097 * DADDY WAS A GOOD MAN 1880 01:22:54,137 --> 01:22:56,607 * USED TO WORK THE LAND 1881 01:22:56,639 --> 01:22:59,009 * SOMETIMES LIFE WOULD FIGHT HIM * 1882 01:22:59,042 --> 01:23:02,152 * BUT HE'D ALWAYS UNDERSTAND 1883 01:23:02,178 --> 01:23:04,478 * WENT TO WORK EVERY DAY 1884 01:23:04,513 --> 01:23:07,183 * I CAN STILL HEAR HIM SAY 1885 01:23:07,216 --> 01:23:09,646 * CAN'T BEAT LOVE, MY SON 1886 01:23:09,685 --> 01:23:12,485 * TO CHASE THOSE BLUES AWAY 1887 01:23:12,788 --> 01:23:13,388 * WITH A LITTLE TIME 1888 01:23:18,227 --> 01:23:18,827 * THE FEELING GROWS 1889 01:23:23,132 --> 01:23:23,732 * HER HEART AND MINE 1890 01:23:29,038 --> 01:23:29,608 * I KNOW SHE KNOWS 1891 01:23:34,210 --> 01:23:37,050 * OH 1892 01:23:37,080 --> 01:23:40,780 * I'M SO HAPPY NOW 1893 01:23:44,787 --> 01:23:48,587 * I WAS LOST 1894 01:23:48,624 --> 01:23:51,694 * BUT NOW I'M FOUND 1895 01:23:54,563 --> 01:23:57,103 [ SAXOPHONE SOLO ] 1896 01:24:26,595 --> 01:24:29,265 * OH 1897 01:24:29,298 --> 01:24:33,138 * I'M SO HAPPY NOW 1898 01:24:37,306 --> 01:24:40,706 * I WAS LOST 1899 01:24:40,743 --> 01:24:43,853 * BUT NOW I'M FOUND 1900 01:24:46,915 --> 01:24:50,115 * GONNA LEARN TO 1901 01:24:50,153 --> 01:24:54,263 * BRUSH THESE BLUES AWAY 1902 01:24:57,493 --> 01:25:00,733 * GONNA LEARN TO 1903 01:25:00,763 --> 01:25:04,803 * SMILE EVERY DAY 1904 01:25:07,870 --> 01:25:11,270 * OH 1905 01:25:11,307 --> 01:25:15,237 * I'M SO HAPPY NOW 1906 01:25:18,647 --> 01:25:22,747 * OH, I WAS LOST 1907 01:25:22,785 --> 01:25:25,615 * BUT NOW I'M FOUND 1908 01:25:29,425 --> 01:25:29,755 * OH 1909 01:25:32,295 --> 01:25:32,855 * I'M SO HAPPY NOW 1910 01:25:39,468 --> 01:25:39,898 * OH, OHHH 1911 01:25:43,272 --> 01:25:43,842 * I'M SO HAPPY NOW 1912 01:25:49,845 --> 01:25:50,275 * OOH, OH 1913 01:25:52,915 --> 01:25:57,245 * I'M SO HAPPY NOW 1914 01:25:59,788 --> 01:26:00,158 * OHHH 1915 01:26:03,559 --> 01:26:07,159 * I'M SO HAPPY NOW 1916 01:26:08,997 --> 01:26:10,597 [ LAUGHING ] 1917 01:26:10,633 --> 01:26:11,803 PBHT! 124364

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