All language subtitles for Step.By.Step.S03E23.WEBRip.x264-ION10

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Bambi, babe,
J.T. Lambert here.

Hey, listen, Bam,
[CHUCKLES]

how'd you like
to go to the prom

with the studliest guy
in the class?

[DIALTONE]

Hello?

[GUFFAWS] What does
she know, she's named
after a deer.

Hey, uh, J.T., you know, uh,
don't take this personally,

but you've been
shot down fifty times.

You know, uh, maybe
you're not the studliest
guy in the class.

[SIGHS] What am I gonna do
to get a date to the prom?

I don't know,
let's think about this.

Now, who's really
popular with the chicks?

Dude, I got it.

Joey Lawrence.
[CHUCKLES] There you go.

All you gotta do
is get a flannel shirt,

tie it around your waist,
and cut a hit record.

Man, the chicks will be
crawling all over you.

[CHUCKLES] Dude, I ought
to be the host
on Love Connection.

Hi, Cody.
CODY: Hey. Hey, hey.

Any luck finding a date
to the senior prom, J.T.?

No.

Well, that's okay.
I'm not going
to the prom either.

Of course, that's because
I'm going steady
with a college guy.

So, I won't be humiliated
being alone like you.

Hey, I saw a dead possum
out on Route Twelve.

Maybe you could ask her.

Nah, she'd probably
turn you down.

Yeah, like the guys

want to take your bony butt
somewhere, huh?

Well, as a matter of fact,

I'm going
with the most gorgeous guy

in the senior class,
Jeff Brock.

Jeff Brock! No way.
He's dating Pam Taylor.

Correction.

He was dating Pam Taylor.

[SCOFFS] Unbelievable.

He dumped a cheerleader
with an incredible body,

to go out with
Francis the Talking Mule?

You know, J.T.,

there's a lot more to life
than just big pompoms.

[SCOFFS] Not for me.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

MAN: ♪ The dream got broken

♪ Seemed like all was lost

♪ What would be the future

♪ Could you pay the cost

♪ You wonder

♪ Will there ever be
A second time around?

WOMAN: ♪ Woah-a, woah-a
When the tears are over

♪ And the moment has come

♪ Say, "My, lord
I think I found someone"

♪ And no one would be better

♪ To be putting it together

♪ For the second time around

CHORUS: ♪ Step by step
Day by day

WOMAN: ♪ Day by day

CHORUS: ♪ A fresh start over
A different hand to play

♪ The deeper we fall
The stronger we stay

MAN: ♪ And we'll be better
The second time around

CHORUS: ♪ Step by step
Day by day

WOMAN: ♪ We'll make it better

MAN: ♪ The second time around

Hi.

Brendan,
what happened to you?

I got in a fight.

See, Lester Tubman
was copying off my paper,

so I called him a cheater.

Then he shoves me,

so I popped him in the nose.

[CHUCKLING] Did you drop him?

Because that would be bad
if you did, son.

Yes, violence
never solves anything.

You're just saying that
because you're a girl.

Girls never fight.

But that's not true.
When I was your age,

I used to fight all the time.

Especially if somebody
insulted my family.

My eyeballs would bulge out,
my nostrils would flair,

I'd turn into a mean,
lean, fighting machine.

Cool. Go beat up Lester.

No, Brendan.

But he called me
a boogerhead.

Look, I'll tell you
what I'm going to do.

I will invite the Tubmans
over this weekend.

We'll get to know each other

and we'll work this out
in a civilized manner, okay?

Man, sometimes I wish Carol

was one of those women
from American Gladiators.

Hmm. So do I.

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]

Hi, Frank.
Hi, honey.

Good news. I got one
of those New York cheesecakes

for when
the Tubmans come over.

Now, Carol,

now why do we have to make
a whole evening of this?

You know, Frank,
if more people sat down

and spent
a little time together,

there'd be fewer
problems in the world.

Now, now what
are you telling me, Carol?

That if there were more
coffee and cheesecake
in the Middle East,

they wouldn't be
shooting scuds at each other?

Well, maybe.

[FRANK WHISTLES]
CAROL: Oh.

Son, you look wonderful.

Yeah, I guess I kind of look

like a young George Hamilton.

J.T.: Phil set me up
with his sister.

A swimsuit model.

Oh, J.T. You know,
prom night

is filled with so many
magical memories.

Getting dressed up,
dancing under the stars,

swaying to the music,

slipping into the backseat
of Steve Burke's Chevy,

kissing all...

Of course, you'll have
to make your own memories.

CAROL: Oh, Dana.

Oh, you look so beautiful.

Yeah.

You're definitely going to
win the best of breed contest.

[MIMICS HOWLING]

Sending out a mating call
for your date, J.T.?

Oh, I am so sick
of you two arguing.

Now, just shut up
and let me get a picture

of this beautiful
moment, huh?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Oh, darn.
No time for that picture.

[CAROL SIGHS]

Hi, Dana.
Come on in.

Um, this is Jeff Brock.

Jeff, this is
my mother, Carol,

and that's
my stepfather, Frank.

Hi.
JEFF: Hi.

And that is something
we scraped off
some old cheese.

JEFF: Hey, J.T.

Hey, Jeff. [CHUCKLES]

You know, it's really nice
of you to take Dana out.

Especially with that
mystery rash she has.

Ignore the talking rat, Jeff.

Come on, your boutonniere
is in the kitchen.

Dad, did I mention
my date is a swimsuit model?

About 500 times.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Ah, I hope she's wearing
a grass skirt

and a couple of coconuts.

[LAUGHS]

Hey, J.T.

Phil, my man.

Mrs. Lambert. Mr. Lambert.
CAROL: Hi.

Where's Debbie?

Debbie? She's working
in Barbados.

You said you were going
to set me up with her.

No, I said I'd set you up
with my sister.

And I did.

My other sister.

Eleanor?

Hi, J.T.

Hi.

Excuse me.

Doofus!

How could you
fix me up with Eleanor?

She's only 13.

You thought I was gonna
fix you up with Debbie?

[LAUGHS]

Get real.
She knows Mick Jagger.

[LAUGHING]

I'll go warm up the car.

Debbie? What a bonehead!

[CONTINUES LAUGHING]

[SIGHS]

Come on in.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Well, Eleanor.

That's such a nice dress.
Is it new?

Yeah, and I got my
first bra today, too. See?

Oh!

But don't get any ideas, J.T.

I'm not a nympho.

Somebody please shoot me.

[EXHALES] Well,
we're ready to go.

Who's this?

Hi, I'm Eleanor.

Uh, she's J.T.'s date
for the prom.

Well, this is like
a dream come true.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Eleanor, uh, your corsage.

It's in the kitchen.
I'll get it.

[SIGHS]

Hurry back.

Oh, sure.

Hey, man,
major monkey suit, dude.
[CHUCKLES]

You look just like
a young George Hamilton.

[LAUGHS]

Cody, I'm a dead man.

Phil set me up
with his 13-year-old sister.

I'm gonna go see if I can
throw myself in front of a bus.

Aw, no, dude.

Hey, man, if you ditch her,

you'll scar
her little heart for life.

Cody, she's just a kid,
she'll forget about it.

Oh, no, she won't, bro.

Hey, look, if you dump her,

it'll be like that Fatal Attractionmovie, man.

She'll start
following you around,

and saying stuff like,

"I will not be ignored."

Then she's gonna
terrorize your family,

boil your bunny, and end up
floating face up in a bathtub.

All because you
wouldn't take her to the prom.

I can live with that.

Come on, J.T., dude.
Come here.

Take a look at her.

Aw, look, she got herself
all dressed up for you.

Look, she did her hair,
stuffed her bra. [CHUCKLES]

Look, man, she even
got a little purse

to match her little shoes.

Come on, be a dude.

Now take her to the prom, man.

[SIGHS] Oh, man.

Come on, J.T.,
let's go hit the dance floor.

I want to see what you've got.

[CHUCKLES]

They make such a cute couple.

All right, Brendan,
if Lester goes for you,

just kick him
where I told you.

Uh, then stand back because

he's gonna hurl.

And if that doesn't work,

there's always
the ancient art
of Tae kwon do.

Ha-sa-yah!

Uh, okay, knock it off.

This is not
a Steven Seagal movie, okay?

Now, both of you, upstairs.

BOTH: Okay.

[OORBELL RINGS]

Oh. That must be the Tubmans.

CAROL: Well, hi,
you must be the Tubmans.Hi.

Come on in.

[CHUCKLES]
Hi.

I'm Carol Lambert.

And this is
my husband, Frank.

Floyd and Ethel Tubman
and Lester.

Folks, we're really sorry
about the boys' fight.

Yes, it was
all Lester's fault.

He never should have
cheated or shoved Brendan.

Well, I'm sure if the boys

apologize to each other
and shake hands,

we can put this whole
episode behind us. Son?

I'm sorry I punched
your lights out, Lester.

I'm sorry I
cheated off your paper.

Especially since all
the answers were wrong.

So, I guess
we'll be on our way.

Oh, well, do you have to?
I was hoping you would stay.

We'll get to know each other.

I have some
New York cheesecake.

Ooh!

Cheesecake?

Well, I don't see how
we can pass that up.

[ALL CHUCKLE]

Well, come on in then.
ETHEL: Okay.

Hey, do you guys
want to play Monopoly?

Yeah.

Well, if the boys
would be happy doing that,

let me get
the game here. [LAUGHS]

Uh, I get to be
the top hat, though. [LAUGHS]

Well, Frank, why don't
you and I get
the cake and coffee.

And Brendan,
you set up the game.

Okay, honey.
Okay.

Don't forget, though,
I'm the top hat.
The guy with the hat.

Tell you what, sport.

Uh, why don't you
help your folks

and we'll set up the game.

Okay.

Okay, honey,
hide some hotels,

I'll stock up on money.

Get yourself
some hundreds, son.

LESTER: Five, six,
seven, eight.

Where is the bathroom?

Oh, it's upstairs.
Come on, I'll show you.

Four. One, two,
three, and four.

"Free Parking."
I win the kitty, honey!

Great, honey!

Uh, Ethel, Ethel, Ethel.
What?

[CHUCKLES]

You rolled a four there,
but you moved five spaces.

Oh, no, that was four.
I get the money.

Yeah, it was four.

Carol, can I see you
in the kitchen
for a minute, honey?

Sure.
Yeah.

Excuse us.

What?

They're cheating.
They're moving
too many spaces,

and I think they stole
a couple of the railroads.

Oh, they are not cheating.

You know, you are just mad

because they wouldn't
let you be the hat.

See, they cheated right there.

Honey, I had dibs
on that hat,

and they took it from me.

And now I have to be an iron
and that's a girl's piece.

Oh, Frank, grow up.

Now, come on. Adults do not
cheat at board games.

Honey.

Carol, it's your turn.

How did this happen?

What?

Our money is gone,

and your side of the board
looks like Miami Beach.

We bought some hotels.

Oh, come on, Tubman,
you stole our money,

you cleaned out the bank,

you ate my cheesecake!

No. No, I didn't.

Then who ate it?

I don't know.

Maybe you have rats.

Oh, this is ridiculous.

No wonder your son,
Lester, cheats at school.

Oh! Just a minute.

Are you saying
that my son is a cheater?

Yes!

Yeah, you're
a bunch of cheaters.

You're a whole
family of cheaters.

Let me tell you
people something.

I would rather be a cheater

than a sniveling
little tattletale

like that crybaby
son of yours.

Hey.

Are you calling
my son a crybaby?

Yes. I'm calling
your son a crybaby.

And a mama's boy.

Don't insult my family.

Aw, jeez, honey,
now your nostrils
are flaring.

I don't like it
when people insult my family.

Really?

Well, if you didn't want
people to insult your family,

why'd you marry a blockheaded
jerkwater like him?

[GASPS]

Whoa!

Honey, you are kind of like

one of those
American Gladiatorwomen.

[UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

Thank you.

Oh, no.

My ex-girlfriend
just walked in.

Now I don't know
whether to pretend
I didn't see her, or what.

Why don't you just go
and say hello.

Otherwise, you're gonna
feel uncomfortable all night.

Good idea.
I'll be right back.

Come on, J.T.,
I want some punch.

Hey, there, party animals,

having a good time?

The best.

I hope this night
lasts forever.

[SIGHS]

It already has.

[SLOW DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

Ooh, a slow dance.

Let's dance close,
like lovers do.

[WHIMPERS] Oh...

[GRUNTS]

I really missed you, Jeff.

I really missed you, too.

PAM: We never
should have broken up.

It was a big mistake.

I want to get back
together... Tonight.

Well, I'm kind of here
with someone else.

[SCOFFS] Well, ditch her.

Okay.

What?

J.T., did you hear that?

Yeah. Looks like Barky's
gonna get the old heave ho.
[LAUGHS]

How can you say
something like that?

Getting dumped
is very painful.

How would you feel
if I dumped you?

I'd be crushed.

You've got to go help her.

Why?

Because she's your sister
and families stick together.

Now, be a man

and go help her
in her time of need.

Go! Go, go, go! Go!

Dana?

I don't know
how to say this, but, uh...

Jeff's gonna dump you.

Very funny, Caveboy.

This is your
pathetic little way

of trying to get back at me
for making fun of you.

No, I...
Excuse me.

I see my date.

[INAUDIBLE]

Dana?

J.T.,

I really don't need
any grief right now.

I know. I know.

I just came to tell you
that Jeff guy's a real jerk.

No.

I'm a jerk for thinking

he'd want to go out with me
instead of Pam Taylor.

STUDENT: All right, the spotlight dance is about to begin,

led by our Student Body President, Dana Foster.

[CLAPPING]
Great.

This is perfect.
Now everybody's gonna know

what a complete fool I am.

Dana, you're not a fool.

You just picked
the wrong guy

to go to the prom with.

I'm going to be
totally humiliated. [SOBS]

Dana, I'm here
with a 13-year-old.

I think I know
a bit about humiliation.

[SIGHS]

Look...

I know
you're kind of stuck, so...

How about
for the spotlight dance, uh...

You let me be your escort?

You would do that for me?

After all the things
that I've said about you?

[CHUCKLES] Hey,
your insults don't bother me.

J.T., I've called you
a greaseball,

a lowlife, a scum,
ape-boy...

Okay, all right,
fine, fine.

They bother me a little bit.

But you know, I just figure
you're just teasing me

the way I tease you.

STUDENT: Uh, Dana, we really need you for the spotlight dance.

So, what do you say, huh?

Once around the dance floor
with old "ape-boy?"

Thanks, J.T.

[CHUCKLES] No problem, Barky.

DANA: Knuckle-dragger.

Fish-face.

Mouthbreather.

[CLAPPING]

[SLOW DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

MAN: ♪ Let you lend a hand

♪ I wanna be your friend ♪

"I will not hit anyone."

[SIGHS] "I will not hit anyone."

Oh...

I will...

Carol, I know
what'll cheer you up.

Let's go out
and get some ice cream.

Nope. Nope. I have decided
to ground myself for a week.

Come on, isn't it enough

you're writing,
"I will not hit anyone,"

five thousand times?

Nope.

No TV, no sweets,
no pleasure of any kind.

No pleasure
of any kind? Honey...

You don't mean...

Frank, how could I
possibly enjoy myself

after what I've done?

I didn't hit anybody.