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1
00:00:05,962 --> 00:00:06,963
Hey.
2
00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:10,053
Yuletide greetings, dudes.
3
00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:12,229
Have I got a major Christmas
surprise for you?
4
00:00:16,538 --> 00:00:17,800
This should be good.
5
00:00:21,586 --> 00:00:23,023
[SHUDDERS]
6
00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:26,504
Hey, guess what?
7
00:00:26,591 --> 00:00:28,593
The chamber of commerce
is having a contest
8
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,334
for the best
Christmas decorations.
9
00:00:30,421 --> 00:00:32,684
So, I'm putting the finishing
touches on my van.
10
00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:34,077
Sounds neat, Cody.
11
00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:35,383
Can we see
your Christmas display?
12
00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:36,514
Yeah, buddy.
13
00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:41,041
Hold onto your hats,
ladies and gentlemen.
14
00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:44,653
Cody Lambert presents
the glory of Christmas.
15
00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:51,138
♪ Hallelujah hallelujah
16
00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:55,359
♪ Hallelujah hallelujah
17
00:00:55,446 --> 00:01:00,930
♪ Hallelujah hallelujah
18
00:01:01,017 --> 00:01:06,109
♪ Hallelujah hallelujah
19
00:01:06,196 --> 00:01:12,028
♪ For the Lord God
Omnipotent reigneth ♪
20
00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:13,899
Yeah, Christmas.
21
00:01:13,986 --> 00:01:17,468
The time of peace on earth
and goodwill toward men.
22
00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:19,166
Really bitchin' decorations.
23
00:01:20,906 --> 00:01:23,300
Now the first stop
on our holiday tour
24
00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:25,563
will be the North Pole.
25
00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:27,304
[CHUCKLES]
26
00:01:27,391 --> 00:01:30,002
Oh, look,
it's snowing over there.
27
00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:34,703
Matter of fact,
it's snowing everywhere.
28
00:01:36,879 --> 00:01:40,665
CODY:
Yeah, just a little Yuletide
magic there, little buddy.
29
00:01:40,752 --> 00:01:43,015
Now we all know the main man
at Christmas
30
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:45,322
is Jolly Old Saint Nick.
31
00:01:45,409 --> 00:01:47,933
Oh, look, there he is now.
32
00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:49,674
Hey, Santa.
33
00:01:49,761 --> 00:01:51,850
Ho, ho, ho.
34
00:01:51,937 --> 00:01:53,678
[CODY LAUGHING]
35
00:01:53,765 --> 00:01:54,940
But, of course,
Christmas is about
36
00:01:55,027 --> 00:01:56,768
more than just
a fat guy in a red suit.
37
00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:02,034
It all started in
a little town called Bethlehem.
38
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,907
Let's return now to those
thrilling days of yesteryear
39
00:02:04,994 --> 00:02:08,693
when the Christ child
lay asleep in a manger.
40
00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:09,868
[CHUCKLES]
41
00:02:11,043 --> 00:02:13,568
Oh, look, he has visitors.
42
00:02:13,655 --> 00:02:15,309
It's the three wise men.
43
00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:18,007
Balthazar, Gaspar
and Melchior?
44
00:02:18,094 --> 00:02:20,836
Nah. Three much wiser
dudes than those.
45
00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:22,533
In fact,
46
00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:25,449
the three wisest men
in the history of the world.
47
00:02:28,104 --> 00:02:29,627
Albert Einstein.
48
00:02:34,545 --> 00:02:37,113
Abraham Lincoln.
49
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,376
And the wisest
dude of them all.
50
00:02:42,423 --> 00:02:43,772
Alex Trebek.
51
00:02:46,818 --> 00:02:48,080
Yeah, buddy.
52
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,647
Is this cool or, what?
53
00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:50,822
[CHUCKLING]
54
00:02:52,694 --> 00:02:54,609
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
55
00:03:05,707 --> 00:03:07,317
[SCREAMING]
56
00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:12,322
♪ The dream got broken
57
00:03:12,409 --> 00:03:14,237
♪ Seemed like all was lost
58
00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:16,065
♪ What would be the future
59
00:03:16,152 --> 00:03:17,762
♪ Could you pay the cost
60
00:03:17,849 --> 00:03:18,981
♪ You wonder
61
00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:20,635
♪ Will there ever be
62
00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,550
♪ A second time around?
63
00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:26,031
WOMAN:
♪ Woah-a, woah-a
64
00:03:26,118 --> 00:03:27,598
♪ When the tears are over
65
00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:29,687
♪ And the moment has come
66
00:03:29,774 --> 00:03:31,167
♪ To say my Lord
67
00:03:31,254 --> 00:03:33,517
♪ I think
I've found someone
68
00:03:33,604 --> 00:03:35,476
♪ You know
It will be better ♪
69
00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:37,042
♪ 'Cause we're
Putting it together ♪
70
00:03:37,129 --> 00:03:39,915
♪ For the second time around
71
00:03:46,008 --> 00:03:48,010
♪ Step by step
72
00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:50,099
WOMAN:
♪ Day by day
73
00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:52,014
♪ A fresh start over
74
00:03:52,101 --> 00:03:53,581
♪ A different hand to play
75
00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:55,235
♪ The deeper we fall
76
00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:57,454
♪ The stronger we stay
77
00:03:57,541 --> 00:03:59,630
MAN:
♪ It will be better
78
00:03:59,717 --> 00:04:01,458
♪ The second time around
79
00:04:01,545 --> 00:04:05,288
ALL:
♪ Step by Step, day by day
80
00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:07,247
WOMAN:
♪ We'll make it better
81
00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:09,510
MAN:
♪ Second time around ♪
82
00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:29,356
Here we go, kids.
More hot fudge.
83
00:04:29,443 --> 00:04:31,053
Carol, I don't get it.
84
00:04:31,140 --> 00:04:32,968
You never let us eat
ice cream in the living room.
85
00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:36,145
Well, I just thought it would
be a nice holiday treat.
86
00:04:36,232 --> 00:04:38,234
Although being that
we're all together
87
00:04:38,321 --> 00:04:41,933
I thought maybe we could
have a family meeting.
88
00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:44,893
-Family meeting? It's a trap.
-Run for it.
89
00:04:44,980 --> 00:04:46,416
Hold it!
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
90
00:04:46,503 --> 00:04:48,810
Come on, back here. Come on.
91
00:04:48,897 --> 00:04:51,769
Now I just thought that
we could discuss an idea
92
00:04:51,856 --> 00:04:55,251
that I think will make Christmas
a lot more fun for all of us.
93
00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:58,298
Well, you've got our attention,
honey. What's your idea?
94
00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:01,170
[SIGHS]
Instead of everybody going
through the hassle of buying
95
00:05:01,257 --> 00:05:03,607
a lot of gifts, I thought
we could put names in a hat
96
00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:05,957
pull one out and buy
that person one gift.
97
00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:10,745
Wait a second.
98
00:05:10,832 --> 00:05:12,486
Are you saying
I'd only get one gift?
99
00:05:12,573 --> 00:05:14,314
-Right.
-That bites.
100
00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:18,622
Frank, would you help me
out here, please?
101
00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:21,233
Well, I don't know, Carol.
One gift.
102
00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:26,543
Ain't that kind of
like Russia?
103
00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:28,197
Alright, things have been
a little tight around here
104
00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:29,590
and I thought
that this would be a great way
105
00:05:29,677 --> 00:05:31,026
for us to save some money.
106
00:05:31,113 --> 00:05:32,854
Well, Carol,
we're already gonna save
107
00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:34,464
a lot of money this Christmas.
108
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:36,466
I mean, I'm remodeling
Hartman's Toy Store.
109
00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:39,164
He promised to give me a 20%
discount on anything I want.
110
00:05:39,251 --> 00:05:40,992
Ah, cool!
111
00:05:41,079 --> 00:05:43,778
Does that mean I get the train
set I've been asking for?
112
00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:48,086
Well, maybe, if Carol gets over
this communist Grinch thing.
113
00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:50,524
Yeah.
114
00:05:50,611 --> 00:05:52,961
Fine, you guys win,
forget about exchanging names
115
00:05:53,048 --> 00:05:55,746
but, can we at least set
a price limit on these gifts?
116
00:05:55,833 --> 00:05:57,966
Ah, great idea.
117
00:05:58,053 --> 00:06:00,838
All in favor of a $10,000
price limit, say aye.
118
00:06:00,925 --> 00:06:02,013
ALL: Aye.
119
00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:07,628
That is the last time you eat
ice cream in my living room.
120
00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:10,370
Give me that.
Give me, give me, give me.
121
00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:18,595
Perfect.
122
00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:20,728
Okay, okay, clear a path.
I'm here to get my loot.
123
00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:21,816
Oh.
124
00:06:23,252 --> 00:06:25,254
Where do you think
you're going, son?
125
00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:26,908
It's one minute after midnight.
126
00:06:26,995 --> 00:06:29,171
That means it's Christmas.
Which presents are mine?
127
00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:32,261
Ah-ah-ah, alright,
you know the rules.
128
00:06:32,348 --> 00:06:34,611
You open your presents
at 6:00 AM.
129
00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:36,918
So, right now, go to bed
or I'm gonna tell Santa Claus
130
00:06:37,005 --> 00:06:38,789
what a freeloading leech
you've been all year.
131
00:06:40,095 --> 00:06:42,184
Merry Christmas
to you too, dad.
132
00:06:42,271 --> 00:06:43,359
Ho, ho, ho.
133
00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:45,796
-CAROL: Frank?
-Yeah.
134
00:06:45,883 --> 00:06:48,799
Where did you put
Brendan's, uh, train set?
135
00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:51,280
I thought we would set it
around the tree as a surprise.
136
00:06:52,803 --> 00:06:55,415
T-train set. I, I thought
you got the train set.
137
00:06:57,373 --> 00:06:58,722
Why would I get the train set?
138
00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:00,028
You're the one
who's been remodeling
139
00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:02,030
a toy store
the past two weeks.
140
00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:03,510
Well, if you're gonna cop
an attitude
141
00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:04,815
I don't wanna talk about it.
142
00:07:04,902 --> 00:07:06,251
Frank.
143
00:07:06,338 --> 00:07:08,428
Oh, okay, okay,
gee, I blew it, honey.
144
00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:10,299
That was gonna be
our big gift for Brendan.
145
00:07:10,386 --> 00:07:11,692
Well, now what
are we gonna do?
146
00:07:11,779 --> 00:07:13,041
I don't know.
147
00:07:14,521 --> 00:07:16,087
Wait a minute.
148
00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:18,525
I've still got the keys
to Hartman's Toy Store.
149
00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:20,831
I'll just go down and let myself
in and pick up a train.
150
00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:23,007
Frank, you can't do that.
It's breaking and entering.
151
00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:24,661
No, it's not.
I'm gonna leave money.
152
00:07:24,748 --> 00:07:28,926
It's, uh, entering
with intent to purchase.
153
00:07:29,013 --> 00:07:32,016
I can't believe you forgot
something so important.
154
00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:33,627
You know, it's like,
if I want anything done right
155
00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:35,063
around here,
I have to do it myself.
156
00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:36,456
Oh, come on, honey,
just relax.
157
00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:37,631
I'm gonna be back
in a half an hour.
158
00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:39,110
Why don't you, uh
159
00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:40,677
why don't you put
the stocking stuffers
160
00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:42,462
that we got for the kids
in their stockings?
161
00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:45,726
Stocking stuffers?
162
00:07:52,602 --> 00:07:54,604
Frank, would you
turn off the lights?
163
00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:56,171
Somebody's gonna see us here.
164
00:07:56,258 --> 00:07:57,868
Carol, it's in the middle
of the night.
165
00:07:57,955 --> 00:07:59,740
We're the only two idiots
awake right now.
166
00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:01,524
[SIGHS]
167
00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:02,960
Well, just hurry. I don't
feel right about being here.
168
00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:04,527
Okay. Hey, here.
169
00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:06,181
You, uh, look
for stocking stuffers
170
00:08:06,268 --> 00:08:07,965
and I'll see if I can find
the train, okay?
171
00:08:09,271 --> 00:08:12,448
Oh, jeez, look at this.
172
00:08:12,535 --> 00:08:13,971
That's disgusting.
173
00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:17,584
"Ooze, throw it against
the wall, and it sticks."
174
00:08:17,671 --> 00:08:20,412
Who'd spend 50 cents
on something like this?
175
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:21,936
Fifty cents?
176
00:08:22,023 --> 00:08:23,328
That stuff used to be
a buck, 20.
177
00:08:23,415 --> 00:08:24,634
Get a bunch of that, okay?
178
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,986
Oh, honey, look.
Here it is.
179
00:08:29,073 --> 00:08:31,162
Look,
"The Red Rider Express
180
00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:35,863
with authentic locomotive sounds
and patented track switcher."
181
00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:39,301
Oh, wow, if I send away, I can
join the Junior Engineers Club.
182
00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:43,392
[GASPS]
Oh, look.
183
00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:46,569
Honey, an official
police enforcer cap gun
184
00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:49,050
with a real smoking barrel.
185
00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:50,225
I gotta get that too.
186
00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:52,488
Good idea, Frank.
187
00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:54,446
You'll need that in case
your train gets held up.
188
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:59,451
Alright, one train, 49.95.
189
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,410
And one police
enforcer special
190
00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:04,413
with a real smoking
barrel, 9.95.
191
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:05,806
How much for
stocking stuffers?
192
00:09:05,893 --> 00:09:07,982
-17.50.
-17.50. Okay.
193
00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:11,551
[CASH REGISTER DINGS]
194
00:09:13,117 --> 00:09:14,292
Freeze.
195
00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:19,733
Now put your hands up
196
00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:22,126
and don't even think about
reaching for that gun.
197
00:09:22,213 --> 00:09:23,998
Boy, uh, officer,
there's a mistake.
198
00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:25,086
See this isn't even a real gun.
199
00:09:25,173 --> 00:09:27,523
I said hands up, slime ball.
200
00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:30,047
-You too, blondie.
-Oh, oh...
201
00:09:30,134 --> 00:09:31,919
Officer, we can explain this.
202
00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:34,443
Yeah, you see, I was actually
gonna put money in the register.
203
00:09:34,530 --> 00:09:36,576
Yeah, yeah,
and I'm Santa Claus.
204
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,186
Alright now,
why don't we all
205
00:09:38,273 --> 00:09:40,971
take a little ride downtown
in my sleigh, huh?
206
00:09:44,801 --> 00:09:45,933
[GASPS]
207
00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:50,720
Move it! Get out! Let's go!
208
00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:54,028
Move it! Move it!
Move it! Move it!
209
00:09:54,115 --> 00:09:56,247
-Alright, let's go.
-Okay.
210
00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:05,866
[CLOCK CHIMES]
211
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:08,912
[STAIRS THUMPING]
212
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,264
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
213
00:10:21,185 --> 00:10:23,187
Yes, yes, yes.
214
00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:24,667
A new microscope.
215
00:10:24,754 --> 00:10:26,451
Thanks, mom. Thanks, Frank.
216
00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:30,542
Mom? Frank?
217
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,545
Hey, hey, hey, guys, guys,
guys, wait a minute.
218
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,286
Has anyone seen mom and Frank?
219
00:10:36,853 --> 00:10:37,898
Hey, they know the rules.
220
00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:39,856
Six o'clock, we open gifts.
221
00:10:39,943 --> 00:10:41,553
You snooze, you lose.
222
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,294
ALL:
Alright!
223
00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:45,775
[ALL CLAMORING]
224
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:51,607
Entering with intent
to purchase.
225
00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:54,044
Idiot.
226
00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:57,961
Where is that deputy,
anyway, huh?
227
00:10:58,048 --> 00:11:01,399
He should unlock that phone.
We're entitled to a phone call.
228
00:11:01,486 --> 00:11:04,141
Uh, hey, hey, we've been
locked up in here for hours.
229
00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:06,927
Oh, I'm sorry
I inconvenienced you.
230
00:11:07,014 --> 00:11:08,972
Next time, call ahead
for reservations.
231
00:11:09,059 --> 00:11:11,322
We'll put you in our
Frequent Felon Program.
232
00:11:13,107 --> 00:11:14,543
Okay, let's go.
233
00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:17,241
It's booking time.
234
00:11:17,328 --> 00:11:18,678
Deputy, we're not
trying to make trouble.
235
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:20,027
We just wanna make
a phone call
236
00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:21,855
so our kids will know
where we are.
237
00:11:21,942 --> 00:11:23,813
You don't make your phone call
till I'm done bookin' ya.
238
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:26,686
Look, can't you just bend
the rules a little?
239
00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:28,426
It's Christmas.
240
00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:31,734
Oh, don't sing that Yuletide
sob story to me, missy.
241
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:33,954
The way I see it
242
00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:36,521
Christmas is just
another day on the beat.
243
00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:47,141
You know, there's,
there's no need for you
244
00:11:47,228 --> 00:11:49,883
to be rude, Deputy, uh, Fife.
245
00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:52,973
That's Feif, F-E-I-F.
246
00:11:53,060 --> 00:11:55,453
Fife would be F-I-F-E, got it?
247
00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:56,672
Yes, sir.
248
00:11:57,629 --> 00:11:58,979
-Okay.
-Jeez.
249
00:11:59,893 --> 00:12:01,416
Names?
250
00:12:01,503 --> 00:12:03,418
Frank and Carol Lambert.
251
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:05,812
F.
252
00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:09,859
R.
253
00:12:12,601 --> 00:12:14,646
A.
254
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,432
You'd think they'd put these
things in alphabetical order.
255
00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:22,002
This is gonna take forever.
256
00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:24,178
N.
257
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:28,965
The kids will be
worried sick about us.
258
00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:34,623
Alright, a soccer ball.
259
00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:37,321
Cool. Give me another one.
260
00:12:37,408 --> 00:12:39,062
-Hey.
-Move out of the way.
261
00:12:39,149 --> 00:12:40,281
Stop it!
262
00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:44,372
A study lamp?
263
00:12:44,459 --> 00:12:45,982
What am I supposed
to do with this?
264
00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:50,857
-Here, Mark. Merry Christmas.
-Alright. Hey.
265
00:12:50,944 --> 00:12:52,728
Somebody throw me
another gift.
266
00:12:53,468 --> 00:12:54,599
Yeah!
267
00:12:54,686 --> 00:12:56,776
[LAUGHING]
268
00:12:56,863 --> 00:12:59,213
Charge, armed robbery.
269
00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:02,477
A.
270
00:13:04,653 --> 00:13:05,828
R.
271
00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:09,179
M.
272
00:13:09,266 --> 00:13:11,399
It was a cap gun.
273
00:13:11,486 --> 00:13:13,270
That's your story.
274
00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:15,229
I think I'll just wait and see
275
00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:16,796
what the boys
down in Ballistics
have to say about it.
276
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,453
Now look, Feif, I know
the owner. I have a set of keys.
277
00:13:22,540 --> 00:13:25,674
I've been goin' there everyday
for the last two weeks.
278
00:13:25,761 --> 00:13:27,894
Oh, you cased the joint, huh?
279
00:13:28,938 --> 00:13:29,939
Premeditation.
280
00:13:31,462 --> 00:13:32,463
P.
281
00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:36,641
R.
282
00:13:36,728 --> 00:13:39,470
Deputy, can't we just
speed this up a little bit?
283
00:13:39,557 --> 00:13:41,037
I'm sure you wanna be
with your family
284
00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:42,647
as much as we wanna be
with ours.
285
00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:45,433
Family? I don't have a family.
286
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,783
You're looking
at a confirmed bachelor.
287
00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:50,525
Nobody's ever slapped a saddle
on this wild stallion.
288
00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:57,488
Okay. Any prior arrests?
289
00:13:57,575 --> 00:13:59,229
No, of course not.
290
00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:01,362
Well, let's just have
a little looksy anyway.
291
00:14:05,714 --> 00:14:07,368
Well, what have we got here?
292
00:14:07,455 --> 00:14:11,981
May 28, 1975, Quail Lake.
293
00:14:15,637 --> 00:14:17,639
Ring any bells, Frankie?
294
00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:20,598
Wh-what's the big deal?
295
00:14:20,685 --> 00:14:22,252
That dumb game warden
wrote me up
296
00:14:22,339 --> 00:14:23,688
for fishing without a license.
297
00:14:23,775 --> 00:14:25,690
That's not all, pretty boy.
298
00:14:25,777 --> 00:14:28,868
It says there you tried to flee
the scene of the crime.
299
00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:30,695
I was in a canoe.
300
00:14:30,782 --> 00:14:32,393
I was being pulled downstream.
301
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,264
Yeah, yeah.
302
00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:37,789
There are a million stories
in the "Naked City."
303
00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:49,062
That's it. There's no more.
304
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:53,718
And I didn't even get my train.
305
00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:56,330
Yeah. We got a lot
more presents last year.
306
00:14:56,417 --> 00:14:58,114
Face it. The geezers hosed us.
307
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,858
Okay, are you guys
ready to open presents?
308
00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:06,166
Whoa.
309
00:15:06,253 --> 00:15:08,081
Guess doesn't pay to oversleep
in this house.
310
00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:12,259
Hey, where's
Uncle Frank and Carol?
311
00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:13,738
[SIGHS]
I don't know.
312
00:15:13,825 --> 00:15:15,958
They're probably still
upstairs sleeping.
313
00:15:16,045 --> 00:15:17,264
You mean you guys
opened your presents
314
00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:18,961
without waiting
for your parents?
315
00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:20,528
That's un-American.
316
00:15:22,182 --> 00:15:23,923
Hey, it's not our fault
they're not here.
317
00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:29,102
Okay, time out. Time out.
318
00:15:29,189 --> 00:15:31,452
Now, I know this is
the season to be jolly
319
00:15:31,539 --> 00:15:35,412
but, you guys are really
starting to cheese me off.
320
00:15:35,499 --> 00:15:37,545
All you've been talking about
for the last two weeks
321
00:15:37,632 --> 00:15:39,895
is about how much loot
you're gonna get.
322
00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:41,766
Well, I got news for you.
323
00:15:41,853 --> 00:15:45,292
Christmas is about more
than just getting presents.
324
00:15:45,379 --> 00:15:48,512
It's about spending quality time
with the people who you love.
325
00:15:48,599 --> 00:15:49,992
Cody, we--
326
00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:51,733
Uh, p-pipe down.
I'm not finished yet.
327
00:15:53,778 --> 00:15:55,606
Don't you guys get it?
328
00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:57,652
I mean, one of the coolest
things about being a parent
329
00:15:57,739 --> 00:16:00,176
is seeing the joy
on your children's faces
330
00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:03,136
when they open up their presents
on Christmas morning.
331
00:16:03,223 --> 00:16:05,877
You guys took that
away from them.
332
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,880
You ought to be ashamed
of yourselves.
333
00:16:11,622 --> 00:16:15,061
You know, I hate to admit it,
but, I think Cody's right.
334
00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:17,237
Yeah, I guess
we have been acting like
335
00:16:17,324 --> 00:16:19,891
a bunch of greedy
little pigs lately.
336
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,633
Yeah, well...
337
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,985
...I didn't mean to take
the jingle out of your bells
338
00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:27,769
but, it had to be said.
339
00:16:29,031 --> 00:16:30,424
[PHONE RINGING]
340
00:16:34,558 --> 00:16:36,212
Anybody have any idea
where the phone is?
341
00:16:40,956 --> 00:16:42,305
Whoa.
342
00:16:42,392 --> 00:16:44,177
Talk about reach out
and touch someone.
343
00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:45,221
[LAUGHS]
344
00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:49,921
Merry Christmas.
345
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,402
Oh, Cody. Cody, it's Frank.
346
00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:55,449
CODY:
Hey, Uncle Frank.
Hey, where are you?
347
00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:57,886
Uh, Carol and I are in jail.
348
00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:00,323
-Jail?
-What?
349
00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:01,803
-Jail?
-What are they doing there?
350
00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:03,805
Hey, hey, pipe down,
you little vultures.
351
00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:07,939
FRANK:
Yeah, uh, Cody.
352
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,812
We were arrested
for robbing a toy store.
353
00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:13,293
You robbed a toy store?
354
00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:16,122
Boy, life's just full
of disappointments this morning.
355
00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:20,300
Uh, no, Cody. It was
a misunderstanding.
356
00:17:20,387 --> 00:17:21,910
You see, I had a key
and-and we were gonna
357
00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:23,651
leave money for the stuff.
358
00:17:23,738 --> 00:17:26,175
Oh, so it was more like entering
with the intent to purchase?
359
00:17:30,962 --> 00:17:33,182
Exactly.
Uh, Cody, listen.
360
00:17:33,269 --> 00:17:34,705
Uh, we're gonna need
some money for bail.
361
00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:36,272
-Will you hold on a second?
-CODY: Sure.
362
00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:37,795
Uh, deputy?
363
00:17:37,882 --> 00:17:39,841
What's it gonna take
to get us out of here?
364
00:17:39,928 --> 00:17:42,452
Don't ask me,
you'll have to ask the judge
365
00:17:42,539 --> 00:17:45,586
when he gets back from
visiting his mother tomorrow.
366
00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:48,023
Wh-what are you saying?
367
00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:50,808
We have to spend
Christmas Day in jail?
368
00:17:50,895 --> 00:17:52,419
Very sharp, bubbles.
369
00:17:54,725 --> 00:17:56,814
You must be the brains
in the operation.
370
00:17:59,904 --> 00:18:04,300
Uh, Cody, they're not gonna
set bail until tomorrow.
371
00:18:04,387 --> 00:18:06,737
Will you tell the kids
we're sorry we can't be there?
372
00:18:06,824 --> 00:18:09,131
-Sure, Uncle Frank.
-Bye.
373
00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:10,306
CODY: Bye.
374
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:18,314
Well, this is
really great, Frank.
375
00:18:18,401 --> 00:18:21,752
First, you forget to get
Brendan's train set.
376
00:18:21,839 --> 00:18:26,061
Then you get the inspired idea
to rob a toy store.
377
00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:28,890
So, now I have a police record
378
00:18:28,977 --> 00:18:32,981
and I have to spend
Christmas Day in a jail cell
379
00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:36,115
sleeping on Lord knows what.
380
00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:38,682
I don't even wanna think
about the toilet.
381
00:18:38,769 --> 00:18:41,816
Well, Merry Christmas, Frank.
Ho, ho, ho.
382
00:18:44,601 --> 00:18:46,299
She's turnin' on you, Frankie.
383
00:18:56,047 --> 00:18:59,094
Oh, honey, I'm sorry
I messed everything up.
384
00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:00,922
Oh, it's okay.
385
00:19:01,009 --> 00:19:03,272
I'm sorry I blew up at you.
386
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:08,016
I just hate being away
from the kids at Christmas.
387
00:19:08,103 --> 00:19:10,758
♪ Deck the halls
With boughs of holly
388
00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:13,152
♪ Fa la la la la
La la la la
389
00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:15,763
♪ Mom and Dad
Are in the slammer
390
00:19:15,850 --> 00:19:18,026
♪ Fa la la la la
La la la la ♪
391
00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:20,594
♪ Don they now
Their striped apparel
392
00:19:20,681 --> 00:19:23,074
♪ Fa la la la la
La la la la
393
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,599
♪ Up the river
Go Frank and Carol
394
00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:28,079
♪ Fa la la la la
La la la la ♪
395
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,038
Alright, uh,
you kids can visit them
396
00:19:30,125 --> 00:19:31,692
but, no funny stuff.
397
00:19:31,779 --> 00:19:33,520
I'll be watching you
like a hawk.
398
00:19:37,001 --> 00:19:40,353
Oh, look, Frank, the kids
brought Christmas to us.
399
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:43,573
Well, we couldn't let you spend
Christmas alone in the hoosegow.
400
00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:47,447
Yeah. Merry Christmas,
Uncle Frank and Carol.
401
00:19:47,534 --> 00:19:48,709
We brought you some presents.
402
00:19:48,796 --> 00:19:50,276
Uh, sorry they're unwrapped
403
00:19:50,363 --> 00:19:53,540
but, there was a wave
of greed this morning.
404
00:19:53,627 --> 00:19:55,368
Well, that's okay.
405
00:19:55,455 --> 00:19:58,153
I don't feel much like
unwrapping presents anyway
406
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,068
since I've ruined Christmas
for everybody.
407
00:20:00,155 --> 00:20:02,201
Oh, dad, you didn't
ruin Christmas.
408
00:20:03,941 --> 00:20:05,987
I mean, if anybody
ruined it, it was us.
409
00:20:06,074 --> 00:20:07,989
I mean, all we were talking
about for the last couple weeks
410
00:20:08,076 --> 00:20:10,557
is how many presents
we were going to get.
411
00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:12,994
Yeah, we've been really greedy.
412
00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:14,561
We're sorry, dad.
413
00:20:14,648 --> 00:20:17,085
Huh, that's okay.
It's, it's no big deal.
414
00:20:17,172 --> 00:20:19,827
It is a big deal.
Cody's right.
415
00:20:19,914 --> 00:20:21,263
The most important thing
about Christmas
416
00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:23,309
is being with your family.
417
00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:25,224
We kinda lost sight of that.
418
00:20:25,311 --> 00:20:28,357
Well, the important thing is
that we're all together now.
419
00:20:28,444 --> 00:20:30,968
Yeah, a guy couldn't ask
for a better family.
420
00:20:31,055 --> 00:20:33,232
-Merry Christmas, dad.
-Merry Christmas, son.
421
00:20:33,319 --> 00:20:35,364
-Merry Christmas, Cody.
-Merry Christmas, sweetheart.
422
00:20:35,451 --> 00:20:37,192
ALL:
Merry Christmas.
423
00:20:39,194 --> 00:20:40,717
That's so beautiful.
424
00:20:42,284 --> 00:20:43,416
[BLOWS NOSE]
425
00:20:45,505 --> 00:20:47,246
Deputy Feif, you're crying.
426
00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:49,639
Uh, me?
427
00:20:49,726 --> 00:20:53,339
No, no. I'm, I'm just
fighting a cold.
428
00:20:53,426 --> 00:20:56,080
Well, come on, Deputy Feif.
429
00:20:56,167 --> 00:20:58,996
I don't buy that tough guy act.
430
00:20:59,083 --> 00:21:01,303
I think deep down,
there's a softy
431
00:21:01,390 --> 00:21:04,175
who'd really like to get
into the Christmas spirit.
432
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,960
Oh, yeah?
433
00:21:06,047 --> 00:21:07,527
Well, you're wrong.
434
00:21:07,614 --> 00:21:09,398
Why would I wanna
celebrate Christmas
435
00:21:09,485 --> 00:21:11,574
with a warm and loving family?
436
00:21:11,661 --> 00:21:14,751
People who really care
about each other and..
437
00:21:14,838 --> 00:21:17,014
...and have a bucket
full of pretty
438
00:21:17,101 --> 00:21:18,973
tasty-looking chicken there.
439
00:21:20,627 --> 00:21:23,020
Well, hey, deputy,
why don't you join us?
440
00:21:23,107 --> 00:21:25,936
There's more than enough
for everybody.
441
00:21:26,023 --> 00:21:28,069
Well, what the heck?
It is Christmas.
442
00:21:28,156 --> 00:21:30,550
Oh, you two might as well
come on out of there.
443
00:21:30,637 --> 00:21:32,769
No sense getting
the bars all greasy
444
00:21:32,856 --> 00:21:34,205
passing that chicken
through them.
445
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,033
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
446
00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:38,035
Merry Christmas.
447
00:21:38,122 --> 00:21:39,472
[INDISCTINCT CHATTER]
448
00:21:46,217 --> 00:21:47,393
Another piece of pumpkin pie,
Deputy Feif?
449
00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:50,047
Oh, no thanks.
Three's my limit.
450
00:21:50,134 --> 00:21:53,486
This body's a weapon.
I like to keep it finely tuned.
451
00:21:55,836 --> 00:21:57,533
There is one thing
I'd like though.
452
00:21:57,620 --> 00:21:58,926
Yeah, what's that?
453
00:21:59,013 --> 00:22:00,884
Can we sing one more
Christmas carol?
454
00:22:00,971 --> 00:22:02,190
Oh, you got it.
455
00:22:03,670 --> 00:22:08,109
♪ Silent night
456
00:22:08,196 --> 00:22:12,418
♪ Holy night
457
00:22:12,505 --> 00:22:17,074
♪ All is calm
458
00:22:17,161 --> 00:22:22,036
♪ All is bright
459
00:22:22,123 --> 00:22:26,910
♪ Round yon virgin
460
00:22:26,997 --> 00:22:31,524
♪ Mother and child
461
00:22:31,611 --> 00:22:35,615
♪ Holy infant
462
00:22:35,702 --> 00:22:40,533
♪ So, tender and mild
463
00:22:40,620 --> 00:22:45,407
♪ Sleep in heavenly
464
00:22:45,494 --> 00:22:49,411
♪ Peace
465
00:22:49,498 --> 00:22:51,152
♪ Sleep in...
466
00:22:51,239 --> 00:22:52,501
[SNORING]
467
00:22:52,588 --> 00:22:54,764
♪ Heavenly peace ♪
33476
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