Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,000
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
2
00:00:24,569 --> 00:00:27,092
_
3
00:00:27,094 --> 00:00:28,426
Can I help you?
4
00:00:28,428 --> 00:00:30,262
Oh, Hi, there. [CHUCKLES]
5
00:00:30,263 --> 00:00:31,630
Where did you come from?
6
00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:34,165
I'm just waiting for the museum to open.
7
00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:35,501
Just a normal shark
8
00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:37,169
doing normal shark things.
9
00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:38,804
- Don't... Don't worry about me.
- [ALARM BLARING]
10
00:00:38,805 --> 00:00:40,739
We got 'em! It's go time.
11
00:00:40,740 --> 00:00:42,339
Halt! Thieves.
12
00:00:42,341 --> 00:00:44,675
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
13
00:00:44,677 --> 00:00:46,078
Aquaman?
14
00:00:46,079 --> 00:00:50,582
Yes, noble guard. It is I, The Aquaman,
15
00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:53,485
protector of the deep blue
and all its inhabitants.
16
00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:54,753
It is an honor.
17
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:58,223
I will apprehend these air breathers.
18
00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:00,893
You give chase to their co-conspirators.
19
00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:02,429
[ATLANTEAN GUARD] Yes, my liege.
20
00:01:04,463 --> 00:01:05,733
[LAUGHING CUNNINGLY]
21
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,436
[DR. PSYCHO HUMMING]
22
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:16,475
- [INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
- [LAUGHING MANIACALLY]
23
00:01:16,477 --> 00:01:17,777
All right, let's get outta here...
24
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:18,778
Ow!
25
00:01:20,546 --> 00:01:22,748
I spoil your little party?
26
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:26,251
Ha-ha! It is I, Aquaman,
27
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:29,488
son of Atlan, heir to
the throne of Atlantis.
28
00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:30,555
[GROANS]
29
00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:31,791
I must say, King Shark,
30
00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:33,625
your mother would be most displeased
31
00:01:33,626 --> 00:01:35,628
to find you in this plebeian company.
32
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:36,994
You're not my dad!
33
00:01:36,996 --> 00:01:39,297
That is contrary to what she said.
34
00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:40,954
- Ah-ha-hoy!
- [DOLPHIN SQUEAKING]
35
00:01:40,956 --> 00:01:42,833
Let us now dispense with the levity.
36
00:01:42,835 --> 00:01:45,236
I am going to need the Atlantean jewels
37
00:01:45,237 --> 00:01:46,539
with which you absconded.
38
00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:47,607
Bravo!
39
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:49,375
What magnificent word choice.
40
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,877
You are truly the
Shakespeare of the sea.
41
00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:53,545
I prefer to think of myself
42
00:01:53,546 --> 00:01:55,248
as the Dickens of the Deep.
43
00:01:56,215 --> 00:01:57,648
Hey. Deep Dickens.
44
00:01:57,650 --> 00:01:59,318
Let's wrap up this episode of Frasier
45
00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:01,387
so we can get back to
getting the hell out of here.
46
00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:02,821
- [DOLPHIN SQUEAKS]
- [AQUAMAN LAUGHS]
47
00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:05,792
She certainly is that. [SNOOTY LAUGH]
48
00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:07,292
What did that dolphin say about me?
49
00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:08,859
Oh, I don't speak dolphin.
50
00:02:08,861 --> 00:02:11,696
I know a little porpoise, but...
51
00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:14,668
What villainous reject
have you deigned to summon?
52
00:02:16,368 --> 00:02:17,803
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
53
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:18,806
[PAINED SQUEAK]
54
00:02:22,008 --> 00:02:24,777
Did somebody call for... kelp?
55
00:02:26,879 --> 00:02:28,379
[AQUAMAN GROANS]
56
00:02:28,381 --> 00:02:30,849
Unkelp me, plant witch.
57
00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:31,850
Let's go.
58
00:02:33,286 --> 00:02:35,655
Yes. Run. Run!
59
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:38,889
I, Aquaman, will retrieve
my family's jewels,
60
00:02:38,891 --> 00:02:40,771
and the sirens will sing
61
00:02:40,773 --> 00:02:42,694
- of my revenge for eterni...
- [SHIP HORN BLARES]
62
00:02:42,695 --> 00:02:45,698
Ow... Juba? A little help?
63
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:46,732
[SQUEAKS]
64
00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:47,789
[SIGHS]
65
00:02:47,791 --> 00:02:50,401
Harley Quinn and her crew made
Aquaman look like a member
66
00:02:50,402 --> 00:02:52,838
of the Justice B League this afternoon,
67
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,775
and made off with a set of
ancient Atlantean jewels.
68
00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:58,510
The standout of the
crew was Poison Ivy...
69
00:02:58,512 --> 00:02:59,978
[SIGHS] I'm so sick of hearing this.
70
00:02:59,979 --> 00:03:02,047
Um, I am not part of the crew.
71
00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:04,816
I was asked for a favor.
I provided said favor.
72
00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:05,852
End of story.
73
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,619
Holy shit! Guys, guys, listen.
74
00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:08,887
"Dear Ms. Quinn,
75
00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:10,722
based on your recent evil efforts,
76
00:03:10,723 --> 00:03:13,458
the Legion of Doom
invites you and your crew
77
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:17,395
to our headquarters to
discuss further possibilities".
78
00:03:17,396 --> 00:03:18,429
[SQUEALS]
79
00:03:18,431 --> 00:03:20,400
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
80
00:03:22,365 --> 00:03:23,891
Guys, this is what we've
been workin' towards.
81
00:03:23,893 --> 00:03:25,270
Dump Joker, check.
82
00:03:25,271 --> 00:03:27,006
Get noticed by the
Legion of Doom, check.
83
00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:28,541
Oh! I did it!
84
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,543
Even though no one
said I could run a crew.
85
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:31,777
What? Hello. Hi.
86
00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:33,079
I said that you could run a crew.
87
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,547
Yeah, but you're my friend.
88
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:35,881
Uh, come on, it's
like when your mom says
89
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:37,293
you're the prettiest girl in school.
90
00:03:37,295 --> 00:03:40,719
[GASPS] That's what my mom said.
91
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:44,957
Shark genitalia is very
hard to see. Until it isn't.
92
00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:46,590
This is huge for us.
93
00:03:46,592 --> 00:03:48,893
Means we might get to
move out of this shithole.
94
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:52,397
I will have you know, Norm Dilfer,
95
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,598
the Carpet King of Gotham
96
00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:57,735
found this mall more than satisfactory.
97
00:03:57,737 --> 00:04:00,939
[TENTACLE MONSTER GROWLING]
98
00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:02,774
What the heck is that noise?
99
00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:04,477
Oh yeah, that shit's been keepin' me up.
100
00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:06,342
I haven't been able to get
a lick of sleep for days.
101
00:04:06,344 --> 00:04:08,313
I... I didn't hear any noise.
102
00:04:08,314 --> 00:04:11,882
And you can count me out of
this Legion of Doom business.
103
00:04:11,884 --> 00:04:13,686
Hey Harley, since I've
been banned for life,
104
00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:14,954
I probably shouldn't come.
105
00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:16,621
But maybe you can mention I'm reformed
106
00:04:16,622 --> 00:04:18,458
and I don't call women [BLEEP] anymore?
107
00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:20,660
You know, don't push it, but
if it comes up organically.
108
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:21,893
Yeah, I don't really see a scenario
109
00:04:21,894 --> 00:04:23,562
where that comes up organically,
110
00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:24,663
but I'll get ya in.
111
00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:25,999
Well, congrats, Harls.
112
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,833
You're on the verge
of achieving your dream
113
00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:30,003
and I... I really do wish
I could be there to see it.
114
00:04:30,004 --> 00:04:32,304
But your name's on the
invitation. You gotta come.
115
00:04:32,305 --> 00:04:34,773
Well, that's clearly a
misprint because I'm...
116
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:36,675
[ALL] Not in the crew. We've heard.
117
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:37,776
Yeah. What they said.
118
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,477
Fine. Be like that.
119
00:04:39,478 --> 00:04:41,881
[SIGHS DRAMATICALLY] I guess
if I run into Joker there,
120
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:43,349
I'll just deal with it
121
00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:45,786
without my best friend by my side.
122
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,954
[SIGHS] Okay, I'll go.
123
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:50,622
I knew you would.
124
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:51,823
[SCARECROW] Pretty cool, huh?
125
00:04:51,824 --> 00:04:53,659
All the heavy hitters,
126
00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:56,894
Sinestro, Lex Luthor, Roger Goodell.
127
00:04:56,896 --> 00:05:00,598
Ooh, uh, FYI, we stand
for the anthem here.
128
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:04,536
This is the big leagues of evil.
129
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:06,872
[LAUGHS CUNNINGLY]
130
00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:09,440
Oh! Think this might interest you.
131
00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:11,543
It goes throughout the entire office.
132
00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:16,548
[SQUEALS JOYFULLY] Is that
a fake diver and a castle?
133
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:18,050
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
134
00:05:18,052 --> 00:05:20,651
That's a real diver, and
you're free to eat him.
135
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,786
[SCREAMS WITH JOY] A real diver?
136
00:05:22,788 --> 00:05:24,856
[MUFFLED VOICE] A real diver?
137
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:26,958
Is it my birthday? [CONTINUES LAUGHING]
138
00:05:26,959 --> 00:05:28,511
Ah, what'd I tell ya about this place?
139
00:05:28,512 --> 00:05:30,628
Did I lie? Did I fuckin'
lie? I did not fuckin' lie.
140
00:05:30,629 --> 00:05:33,231
Also heard we have an actor here.
141
00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:35,567
We do improv every Wednesday.
142
00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:37,003
Huzzah!
143
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:39,905
And we've got every resource
your crew could want.
144
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:42,271
So, you've got a fish
tank and you do improv?
145
00:05:42,273 --> 00:05:44,009
Wow, you're my shitty college boyfriend.
146
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,642
Oh, all right, yeah, I mean,
147
00:05:45,644 --> 00:05:47,081
did your college boyfriend have...
148
00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:49,614
A kryptonite-powered submarine
149
00:05:49,615 --> 00:05:51,515
that can turn into a
car and shoot missiles.
150
00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:52,951
We have three of them.
151
00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:56,122
And they're available to
our members at any time.
152
00:05:58,125 --> 00:05:59,990
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
153
00:05:59,992 --> 00:06:02,194
Harley. So glad you could make it.
154
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:04,063
Lex, this place is amazing.
155
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,176
Not too bad, huh?
156
00:06:05,177 --> 00:06:07,825
The grenade vending
machine and Kombucha on tap.
157
00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,268
I mean, you guys thought of everything.
158
00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:12,002
I've been watching you
ever since you went solo,
159
00:06:12,004 --> 00:06:14,171
and I haven't seen an
evil rising star like you
160
00:06:14,173 --> 00:06:16,809
since, well, since me.
161
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:17,810
Hey, buddy?
162
00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,549
Now that you're done
kissing your own asshole...
163
00:06:19,550 --> 00:06:20,550
That's not a phrase.
164
00:06:20,551 --> 00:06:21,667
... why are we here?
165
00:06:21,668 --> 00:06:24,217
Look, I'm sure you know about
prospective member night.
166
00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:26,517
Where every Legion member
can nominate someone to join?
167
00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:30,588
Well, Harley, guess
who I nominated? You.
168
00:06:30,589 --> 00:06:31,589
[SQUEALS]
169
00:06:31,590 --> 00:06:33,258
So, come back tonight for the party,
170
00:06:33,259 --> 00:06:35,261
meet everyone, see how you mesh,
171
00:06:35,262 --> 00:06:36,962
and, maybe if it goes well,
172
00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:39,231
you could be the next member of the LOD.
173
00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:41,566
That's what we call the Legion of Doom.
174
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:42,768
Oh, is that what it stand for?
175
00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:44,270
I thought it was Legion of Dildos.
176
00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:45,799
That is a sex shop down the street
177
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,739
with whom we're currently
in a protracted legal battle.
178
00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:50,542
- So, I'll see you guys tonight?
- Uh, damn right you will.
179
00:06:50,543 --> 00:06:52,845
Oh, hey, do I need to
get my parking validated?
180
00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:54,014
We don't validate.
181
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,147
So evil.
182
00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:57,499
Hey, let's hit the gift shop.
183
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:58,818
They have those mini-license plates
184
00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:00,185
with your name on 'em.
185
00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:01,987
Oh, um, yeah, yeah, knock yourself out.
186
00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:03,822
I... I'm gonna catch
up with you in a bit.
187
00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:05,193
Hey, so what is your deal?
188
00:07:05,194 --> 00:07:06,926
Like, why are you suddenly
so interested in Harley
189
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,594
after treating her like shit for months?
190
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,296
Do you know how many
invitations we've sent to you?
191
00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:11,760
Jesus, I dunno, millions.
192
00:07:11,761 --> 00:07:15,666
Calm down, it's 148. And
every time you rebuff us.
193
00:07:15,668 --> 00:07:16,902
Because I don't want to join
194
00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:18,871
your self-important sausage party.
195
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:20,539
- Hey. We have a woman.
- Good for you.
196
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:22,775
I'm blanking on her name
right now, but she's lovely.
197
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:23,808
Great.
198
00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:27,560
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
199
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:31,082
Do you want to play around
or you want to get serious?
200
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:32,351
Love that.
201
00:07:32,353 --> 00:07:34,118
You're the only one that can do that,
202
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,353
which is why you're right.
203
00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:37,889
I don't want Harley. I want you.
204
00:07:37,891 --> 00:07:40,024
Then why did you fuckin' invite her?
205
00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:42,659
Why did the Golden Globes nominate
The Martian for best comedy?
206
00:07:42,661 --> 00:07:44,195
They wanted Matt Damon to show.
207
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:46,765
In this metaphor, you're Matt Damon.
208
00:07:46,766 --> 00:07:48,234
Yes, okay, I get it.
209
00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:50,269
It was just a very stupid
and outdated reference.
210
00:07:50,271 --> 00:07:51,556
I don't see a lot of movies.
211
00:07:51,557 --> 00:07:54,006
Look, I'm not joining
the Legion of Doom, okay?
212
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:55,707
Or the LOD or the whatever.
213
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:56,943
That's totally fine.
214
00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:58,576
Oh, just one thing I forget to mention.
215
00:07:58,577 --> 00:08:00,913
If you don't join, Harley
doesn't get in either.
216
00:08:03,682 --> 00:08:05,149
Okay, they don't have Harley,
217
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,588
but this is close enough.
Isn't this place awesome?
218
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:12,257
[SNORING]
219
00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:14,392
[TENTACLE MONSTER GROWLING]
220
00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:16,161
God damn it!
221
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:17,361
Son of a bitch.
222
00:08:17,363 --> 00:08:19,096
I didn't hear a damn thing.
223
00:08:19,098 --> 00:08:20,399
[TENTACLE MONSTER GROWLING]
224
00:08:20,401 --> 00:08:21,668
What? You didn't here that?
225
00:08:23,702 --> 00:08:25,637
Oh, that thing?
226
00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:27,039
- Yes.
- Eh.
227
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,206
That's just the pipes.
228
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:29,810
[TENTACLE MONSTER GROWLING]
229
00:08:31,978 --> 00:08:33,113
Ahh!
230
00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:36,283
[SCREAMING]
231
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,019
[GROANING]
232
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,383
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
233
00:08:41,384 --> 00:08:44,122
Yeah, I'm gonna need you to
go ahead and explain that.
234
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:46,123
[SIGHS] Okay.
235
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:47,926
There may be
236
00:08:47,927 --> 00:08:50,661
a giant tentacle
monster in the basement.
237
00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:53,063
[MUSIC PLAYING]
238
00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:57,903
[METAL DETECTOR BUZZES]
239
00:08:57,904 --> 00:09:00,872
Are you sure you took
everything out of your pockets?
240
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:05,243
Phone? Keys? Your metal exoskeleton?
241
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:08,246
- Check your weapons, please.
- Ooh.
242
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:10,114
Uh, That's not a weapon.
243
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:14,219
Fine, but when I act someone
to death, you'll be blamed.
244
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:16,887
Hey, do you... Do you think
Joker is gonna be here?
245
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:18,989
Hey, ya know what? I...
I don't give a shit.
246
00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:20,292
Nope, don't care.
247
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:22,994
Ooh, there's my
competition, KG Beast. Huh.
248
00:09:22,995 --> 00:09:26,031
Not so scary when they make him
take off his machine gun arm.
249
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:29,368
Harls, look at this place.
I mean, this isn't you.
250
00:09:29,370 --> 00:09:30,599
But it can be.
251
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:32,437
I mean, it's aspirational
and classy and shit.
252
00:09:32,438 --> 00:09:33,898
Classy? Okay.
253
00:09:33,899 --> 00:09:36,008
'Cause this morning you
drank cereal out of a blender.
254
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:37,243
Let's all remember that.
255
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:38,777
Okay, my other cereal cups were dirty.
256
00:09:38,778 --> 00:09:39,946
Look, I gotta go mingle.
257
00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:43,281
What did you say to me?
258
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:46,219
Oh, I have not turned my
back on the aquatic world.
259
00:09:46,220 --> 00:09:49,954
It turned its back on me.
260
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:52,359
Oh, well, you can
kindly go fuck yourself!
261
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:57,496
Well, if it isn't Ivy-licious.
262
00:09:57,498 --> 00:10:00,132
[LAUGHS] The wind beneath my wings.
263
00:10:00,134 --> 00:10:02,434
Hey. [LAUGHS]
264
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:05,337
So like, did you get an
invite to this thing or...
265
00:10:05,339 --> 00:10:09,007
Naw, naw, I picked up a
catering gig actually, yeah.
266
00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:12,344
Bein' Ivy's boyfriend, it is pricey.
267
00:10:12,346 --> 00:10:15,113
But you are worth it.
268
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:16,515
[CHUCKLES] Chicken satay?
269
00:10:16,517 --> 00:10:18,816
Yeah, sure.
270
00:10:18,818 --> 00:10:22,087
[EMBARRASSED GROAN] I will
blow you up, you chicken satay.
271
00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:23,887
Or, why don't you take that anger,
272
00:10:23,889 --> 00:10:25,491
put it in your feelings pocket
273
00:10:25,493 --> 00:10:27,425
and I'm going give you this whole tray.
274
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:28,994
Why are you talkin' to him?
275
00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:31,797
What? He outclasses any
of these idiots. Okay?
276
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,032
This is the problem with this place.
277
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,234
It's like a boys club.
278
00:10:34,235 --> 00:10:35,836
It's like a... it's like a goddamn frat.
279
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:37,901
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
280
00:10:37,903 --> 00:10:40,004
It is I, Aquaman,
281
00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:41,238
son of Atlan,
282
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:42,906
heir to the throne of...
283
00:10:42,908 --> 00:10:44,410
[VILLAIN 1] Boo to you!
284
00:10:44,412 --> 00:10:45,811
[CLEARS THROAT] To the throne of...
285
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:46,812
[VILLAIN 2] Boo!
286
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:49,215
You two stole my family jewels.
287
00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:50,877
[VILLAIN 1] Your balls?
288
00:10:50,878 --> 00:10:52,599
- Oh, grow up, Sinestro. I know that was you.
- [VILLAIN 1 LAUGHS]
289
00:10:52,601 --> 00:10:53,635
You have no proof.
290
00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:56,253
[TENTACLE MONSTER GROWLS]
291
00:10:56,255 --> 00:10:57,479
Let's kill it.
292
00:10:57,480 --> 00:11:00,960
Ah, or... Or we can
do what I usually do.
293
00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:03,028
Lower some livestock down the hole,
294
00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:05,097
walk away, wait a few weeks,
295
00:11:05,099 --> 00:11:06,930
and, uh, hope it calms down.
296
00:11:06,932 --> 00:11:09,234
If you won't deal with that
noise-making abomination,
297
00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:10,235
then I will.
298
00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:11,870
She's not an abomination.
299
00:11:11,871 --> 00:11:16,273
She's my sister. My sister.
300
00:11:16,275 --> 00:11:18,645
Yeah, I'm definitely gonna
need you to explain that.
301
00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:23,081
I warned you and you paid me no heed.
302
00:11:23,082 --> 00:11:27,084
So now, taste the salty
brine of my sweet...
303
00:11:27,086 --> 00:11:28,520
Argh! [CHOKING]
304
00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:30,021
- Hah!
- [GROANS]
305
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,023
[GRUNTS]
306
00:11:32,786 --> 00:11:34,158
Shit! Shit, shit, shit.
307
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:35,993
Be with me, Konstantin.
308
00:11:35,995 --> 00:11:40,464
Brother, it is I, the
Superman, from Kryptalon.
309
00:11:40,466 --> 00:11:42,573
And these people are not your enemy...
310
00:11:42,575 --> 00:11:43,575
[GRUNTS]
311
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:46,340
Not my worst review.
312
00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:48,823
[GROWLS]
313
00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:57,282
Kite Man to the rescue.
314
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:58,474
I'll protect us, babe.
315
00:11:58,475 --> 00:12:00,051
Maybe they took the
weapons from the guests
316
00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:01,587
but they didn't check...
317
00:12:01,589 --> 00:12:02,822
The help.
318
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,959
Oh, cross wind, oh, shi...
319
00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:10,796
Did he just call you "babe"?
320
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:13,200
[HESITANTLY] I... You know, I... Maybe.
321
00:12:16,135 --> 00:12:18,036
Call off your dogs, Luthor.
322
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:20,639
Not everyone has to
suffer at my hands today.
323
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:23,974
This is between me and them.
324
00:12:23,976 --> 00:12:27,512
By "them" I think you mean me.
325
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:29,480
Hello, Arthur.
326
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:32,618
David, it's not always about you.
327
00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:35,422
But it's not not about me either.
328
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:38,457
[SCREAMS]
329
00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:39,524
[POISON IVY GRUNTS]
330
00:12:39,525 --> 00:12:40,525
Ivy!
331
00:12:47,366 --> 00:12:48,568
Ow!
332
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:51,237
[GRUNTS]
333
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:54,441
May Poseidon have mercy on your soul.
334
00:12:58,211 --> 00:13:01,378
Hey, fish dick, why don't
you go back to the ocean?
335
00:13:01,380 --> 00:13:05,151
Otherwise known as "the
world's toilet". [LAUGHS]
336
00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:06,185
[GUEST] Boo.
337
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:07,987
Oh, so no ocean jokes?
338
00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:11,089
Uh, it seems like
political-iggical correct culture
339
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:13,025
is killing the comedy.
340
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:16,162
[GASPS]
341
00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:17,362
No, no, no, no.
342
00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:22,364
Oh God, oh God. No, no, no no no.
343
00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:26,637
[FISH] Ah.
344
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:29,007
Help me.
345
00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:30,275
Ah! What have I done?
346
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,544
My brothers. Oh, my brothers!
347
00:13:32,546 --> 00:13:34,179
Aquaman!
348
00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:37,348
Look, I am stomping
on your fish. Stomping!
349
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:39,017
Bane, stop it.
350
00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:41,386
Hey, there's a YMCA
pool down the street.
351
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:43,054
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
352
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:47,392
Just throw saltwater fish
into a chlorinated pool.
353
00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:49,194
Water's water, I guess.
354
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:51,264
Come on. What are you, four?
355
00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:53,899
[ALL CHEERING]
356
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:58,638
Huzzah!
357
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:10,749
[SY] What I'm about to tell you,
358
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:12,250
I've never told to anyone.
359
00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:15,554
My sister Mirielle and I were both CIA.
360
00:14:15,556 --> 00:14:18,624
She was a top scientist, the best!
361
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:21,926
And in the '80s, cocaine
and animal hybridization
362
00:14:21,927 --> 00:14:23,027
were all the rage.
363
00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:24,528
- [NEIGHING]
- [ROARING]
364
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:27,331
I was Langley's go-to cleaner.
365
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:28,699
You know what "go-to" is?
366
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,435
It's the guy you go to!
367
00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:32,103
If there was a mess,
368
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:35,140
I was the man to take care of it.
369
00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:36,608
My missions took me
370
00:14:36,610 --> 00:14:41,780
from jungle treetops to the sea floor.
371
00:14:41,782 --> 00:14:45,282
So, I asked Mirie if she
could make a hybrid for me,
372
00:14:45,284 --> 00:14:47,384
one that could aid me on my missions.
373
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,320
A half-monkey, half-octopus,
374
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:52,556
or as it's commonly known, a Monkeypuss.
375
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,158
[MONKEY GIBBER]
376
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:57,060
She said it was against protocol.
377
00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:58,563
[MONKEY GIBBER]
378
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:00,297
But I just kept bugging her,
379
00:15:00,299 --> 00:15:03,233
and finally, because of
how much she loved me,
380
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:05,369
she agreed to try.
381
00:15:05,371 --> 00:15:08,341
As you might've guessed,
it all went horribly wrong.
382
00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:11,278
[MONKEY GIBBER]
383
00:15:13,212 --> 00:15:15,680
[SCREAMING]
384
00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:19,152
Psycho, meet my sister Mirielle.
385
00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:21,153
She's a mop?
386
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:22,622
No, she's not a mop.
387
00:15:22,623 --> 00:15:24,957
It's the janitor's closet.
I made a mistake, so kill me.
388
00:15:26,025 --> 00:15:27,561
Here's Mirielle.
389
00:15:28,662 --> 00:15:30,496
[ROARING]
390
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:36,000
Saving the Legion of Doom from
a member of the Justice League.
391
00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:41,001
I mean even if it was Aquaman,
ugh, that is gettin' me in.
392
00:15:46,145 --> 00:15:47,746
Look, even if ya don't get in,
393
00:15:47,748 --> 00:15:50,715
it's still pretty cool to
be nominated, right? Right?
394
00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:53,384
Uh, no. I would do a
header out that window
395
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,653
and let my brains smash
all over the sidewalk.
396
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:58,289
[FORCED LAUGHTER] You're joking.
397
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,358
Last chance. Sure you don't want in?
398
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,228
Harley is good enough
to get in on her own.
399
00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:03,863
You saw what she just did to Aquaman.
400
00:16:03,864 --> 00:16:05,330
Let her in.
401
00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:06,532
I mean, for God's sake, you let Bane in.
402
00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:08,567
Lot of politics involved there.
403
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:10,569
So, your final answer's a no?
404
00:16:10,571 --> 00:16:11,770
[SIGHS]
405
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:19,243
We all know why we're here,
406
00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:20,545
and I'm happy to say,
407
00:16:20,547 --> 00:16:22,281
the Legion has voted,
408
00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:24,382
and we have a new member.
409
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:26,150
Harley. Join me.
410
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,452
Just fuck these guys.
411
00:16:27,453 --> 00:16:29,152
Ive, what are you talkin' about?
412
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:31,189
This year was a fine crop.
413
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:33,858
But one person stood above the rest.
414
00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:36,460
Just you and me. Like
we'll start our own thing.
415
00:16:36,462 --> 00:16:38,396
It'll be... It'll be Harley and Ivy.
416
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:40,833
Y'know we'll get those matching
flame retardant jumpsuits
417
00:16:40,835 --> 00:16:42,801
you've always wanted. You love those.
418
00:16:42,802 --> 00:16:44,099
You mean the one where yours says
419
00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:45,904
"Yaass" and mine says "Kween".
420
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:47,906
Yaass. Yaass.
421
00:16:47,908 --> 00:16:49,097
No, no, no. No, come on.
422
00:16:49,099 --> 00:16:50,822
You told me to leave the Joker for this,
423
00:16:50,824 --> 00:16:53,310
and now I'm here and it's
gonna damn well happen.
424
00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:54,613
Harley, listen to me.
425
00:16:54,615 --> 00:16:57,384
This person is an absolute machine.
426
00:16:58,885 --> 00:17:00,385
They don't want you. Okay?
427
00:17:00,386 --> 00:17:01,653
They never wanted you.
428
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:03,689
They were just using you to get to me.
429
00:17:03,691 --> 00:17:06,490
And I'd like to welcome
our newest member,
430
00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:08,126
Harley Quinn!
431
00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:09,161
[CHEERING]
432
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:10,295
Harley, you did it!
433
00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:11,729
Congratulations, Harley!
434
00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:13,231
[SCREAMS]
435
00:17:17,371 --> 00:17:19,203
Hey, thanks for believin' in me.
436
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:23,542
No. [SIGHS] I... I was
just trying to protect you.
437
00:17:23,544 --> 00:17:26,480
Harley Quinn, welcome
to the Legion of Doom.
438
00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:30,584
[ALL CHEERING]
439
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,287
[MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING]
440
00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:38,390
Fine. You want to join those assholes?
441
00:17:38,392 --> 00:17:40,592
Go! Be an asshole yourself, be my guest.
442
00:17:40,594 --> 00:17:42,227
What don't you understand about
443
00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:44,228
"they have a submarine
that turns into a car
444
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:45,397
that shoots missiles"?
445
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,531
The Legion's awesome!
446
00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:47,933
Oh, this is getting heated.
447
00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:49,700
What delicious drama.
448
00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:51,636
Don't put your insecurities on me.
449
00:17:51,637 --> 00:17:53,072
[SCOFFS] All right, here we go.
450
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:54,841
What... What? You tell
me. What insecurities?
451
00:17:54,842 --> 00:17:56,374
Uh, you just don't want me to join
452
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:57,977
because you're afraid I
won't need you anymore.
453
00:17:57,978 --> 00:17:59,444
You are delusional.
454
00:17:59,445 --> 00:18:00,680
Am I? Am I?
455
00:18:00,681 --> 00:18:02,381
Ya loved it when I was all beaten down
456
00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:04,549
and brokenhearted after
breakin' up with Joker.
457
00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:05,939
But you hate it now
458
00:18:05,940 --> 00:18:07,586
that I'm better and
makin' somethin' of myself!
459
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:08,921
- Ooh, snap!
- Damn!
460
00:18:08,923 --> 00:18:10,421
That's not true.
461
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,556
Is true. Ya can't handle it, can ya?
462
00:18:12,558 --> 00:18:14,192
- What?
- You're tryin' to sabotage me
463
00:18:14,193 --> 00:18:16,460
instead of confrontin'
the fact that, without me,
464
00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:18,430
you don't have a single
friend in this world.
465
00:18:18,432 --> 00:18:19,597
I...
466
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:20,869
I don't need this shit.
467
00:18:20,871 --> 00:18:22,802
Like I've always said I'm
not part of your crew so...
468
00:18:22,803 --> 00:18:24,845
Oh great, go. Run away
to your stupid plants.
469
00:18:24,847 --> 00:18:26,447
You know they have names.
470
00:18:27,942 --> 00:18:29,574
What the hell are you lookin' at?
471
00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:30,810
[TENTACLE MONSTER GROWLING]
472
00:18:32,980 --> 00:18:34,448
[SCREAMING]
473
00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:40,384
[MUMBLING SADLY]
474
00:18:40,386 --> 00:18:43,489
I'm so sorry, Mirielle.
Can ya ever forgive me?
475
00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:44,490
[TENTACLE MONSTER GROWLS]
476
00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:45,791
My own issues aside,
477
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:47,826
can someone explain why Sy is cryin'
478
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:50,630
and where this giant
tentacle monster came from?
479
00:18:50,631 --> 00:18:52,731
Super-long story. Short version.
480
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:54,200
CIA experiment went wrong.
481
00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:55,255
That's his sister,
482
00:18:55,256 --> 00:18:57,202
and he hasn't been down
here for like 35 years.
483
00:18:57,203 --> 00:18:58,370
Yeah, uh that's what I was gonna guess.
484
00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:00,371
[GROWLING]
485
00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:03,476
Oh, I can't even imagine
what it must be like
486
00:19:03,477 --> 00:19:07,011
to go through life a
giant, deformed thing.
487
00:19:07,013 --> 00:19:09,581
You can't, you can't imagine that?
488
00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:13,718
I don't know how I live
with myself. [CRIES]
489
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,588
Oh, it's okay. Look, why
not try and talk to her?
490
00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:17,989
How?
491
00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:19,924
I'll do it. I'll do it, I'll do it.
492
00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:21,058
Let me be your Whoopi.
493
00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:22,594
[TENTACLE MONSTER SCREAMS]
494
00:19:22,596 --> 00:19:25,630
What? Ghost affected everyone.
495
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,665
It was a phenomenon.
496
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,936
[VIBRATO INTENSIFYING]
497
00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:32,970
Talk to her.
498
00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:36,276
She may not speak English
but I bet she understands it.
499
00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:41,379
Mirie, I'm so sorry.
500
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:44,649
I never shoulda forced you
to make that damn hybrid.
501
00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:46,584
[GROWLS]
502
00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:48,419
Ah-hah, ah-hah, ah-hah.
503
00:19:48,421 --> 00:19:51,289
Okay, she said "I get that
you were confused and angry.
504
00:19:51,290 --> 00:19:52,613
So was I.
505
00:19:52,614 --> 00:19:54,928
But it wasn't being turned
into a tentacle monster
506
00:19:54,929 --> 00:19:56,362
that made me angry".
507
00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:57,529
Wow, this is getting interesting.
508
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,698
[GROWLING]
509
00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:02,700
"I was angry because you walked away.
510
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,503
You closed yourself off from me.
511
00:20:04,505 --> 00:20:07,038
I didn't just lose my brother that day,
512
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,108
I lost my best friend".
513
00:20:09,109 --> 00:20:11,543
[MIRIELLE GROWLING]
514
00:20:11,545 --> 00:20:14,746
[DR. PSYCHO] She kept
hoping you would reach out,
515
00:20:14,748 --> 00:20:16,316
but you never did.
516
00:20:19,318 --> 00:20:21,720
[GROWLING]
517
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,021
One more time on that last part?
518
00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:24,022
[GROWLS]
519
00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:25,923
Right. Right, okay.
520
00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:30,929
She says, "I always thought
no matter how bad it got,
521
00:20:30,931 --> 00:20:33,664
you'd never give up on our friendship".
522
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:35,699
I should've come to you,
523
00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:38,636
but I was afraid I let it go too long.
524
00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:40,505
That you wouldn't forgive me.
525
00:20:40,507 --> 00:20:42,841
[GROWLING]
526
00:20:42,843 --> 00:20:44,609
This is everything.
527
00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:47,746
I don't need a translation for this.
528
00:20:47,748 --> 00:20:50,815
I never should've kept
you locked up down here,
529
00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:54,287
so from now on, you're free.
530
00:20:56,056 --> 00:20:58,623
[GROWLING]
531
00:20:58,625 --> 00:21:00,557
Look at her go.
532
00:21:00,559 --> 00:21:04,162
That's my girl. Run, baby, run.
533
00:21:04,164 --> 00:21:06,832
Oh, she looks great. She seems so happy.
534
00:21:06,834 --> 00:21:08,001
[GROWLING]
535
00:21:09,036 --> 00:21:10,669
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
536
00:21:10,671 --> 00:21:12,004
[GROWLING]
537
00:21:12,006 --> 00:21:14,038
[MAN SCREAMS] I'm
in... I'm in its mouth.
538
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:16,407
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
539
00:21:16,409 --> 00:21:19,709
Oh, I'm just gonna...
540
00:21:23,851 --> 00:21:24,951
[DEVICE BEEPS]
541
00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:27,451
[DEVICE BEEPS]
542
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:28,453
[DEVICE BEEPS]
543
00:21:31,557 --> 00:21:32,557
[DEVICE BEEPS]
544
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:35,960
Woo! Oh, Harley, Harley.
545
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:38,595
Whatever weird sex thing you had to do
546
00:21:38,597 --> 00:21:40,699
to get me back into the Legion of Doom,
547
00:21:40,701 --> 00:21:41,701
I thank you.
548
00:21:41,702 --> 00:21:42,969
Yeah, that's not what happened.
549
00:21:42,970 --> 00:21:43,970
Uh-huh. Wink, wink.
550
00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:44,970
On a related note,
551
00:21:44,971 --> 00:21:46,470
you can't go on any capers
552
00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:48,106
where the crew might interact
with a female superhero.
553
00:21:48,107 --> 00:21:51,579
Yeah, that seems fair.
554
00:21:51,581 --> 00:21:53,581
_
555
00:21:57,817 --> 00:21:59,585
Ready to put your life behind you
556
00:21:59,586 --> 00:22:01,953
and make the world an even worse place?
557
00:22:01,954 --> 00:22:02,954
Sure thing, Lex.
558
00:22:02,954 --> 00:22:03,954
Good.
559
00:22:10,730 --> 00:22:13,030
[SIGHS]
560
00:22:13,032 --> 00:22:15,066
Oh, and by the way,
561
00:22:15,068 --> 00:22:17,804
another member insisted on dropping by.
562
00:22:19,073 --> 00:22:23,574
Hi, Harley. [LAUGHS]
563
00:22:23,576 --> 00:22:28,598
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
564
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:31,100
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
39870
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.