All language subtitles for American Pie Presents The Naked Mile (2006)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:53,287 (GROANING) 2 00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:58,226 Oh, honey, you don't look so good. 3 00:00:58,259 --> 00:00:59,827 You should stay home from brunch. 4 00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:01,595 Are you sure? Mmm. 5 00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:03,097 I really want to go. 6 00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:05,166 You stay and rest. 7 00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:07,735 You can see Grandma when we get back. 8 00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:48,142 Thank you, Videobarn dumpster. 9 00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,738 Wanna fuck me, baby? 10 00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:18,906 (KNOCKING ON WINDOW) Oh, yes. Yeah. 11 00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:20,608 You wanna fuck me? 12 00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:28,882 Hey, Erik. Do you know if your dad still has my clippers? 13 00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:31,752 I have no idea, Mr. Williams. 14 00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:34,655 All right. Go back to what you were doing. 15 00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:38,592 (LAWN MOWER WHIRRING) 16 00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:40,428 You wanna fuck me, baby? 17 00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:46,300 Yeah. 18 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,943 (WOMAN MOANING) 19 00:02:57,578 --> 00:02:59,713 Yeah. Fuck me, baby. 20 00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:01,449 Yes, please. 21 00:03:03,251 --> 00:03:05,386 Oh, do me, baby. 22 00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:06,554 Honey. 23 00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:08,689 Yeah, just like that. 24 00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:12,260 Oh, yeah! So good, so good, baby. 25 00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:13,327 Oh, yeah! 26 00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:17,365 I told you I was paying. 27 00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:20,301 So what's the difference if you forgot the coupon? 28 00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:21,935 Honey, she doesn't like to waste money. 29 00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:24,372 There's no way I'm letting you pay full price 30 00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:27,841 when there's a two-for-one coupon sitting on the counter. 31 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:28,909 I'll be right out. 32 00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:31,379 I'm coming, too. Now I gotta pee. 33 00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:32,380 I'll check on Erik. 34 00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:33,581 ERIK: Oh, yeah. 35 00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:35,383 Oh. Oh, that's good. 36 00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:37,585 You like that? I like that, too. Oh, yeah! 37 00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:39,987 HARRY: Here we go. 38 00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:41,355 MOTHER: Okay, Mom. 39 00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:43,291 Harder. Harder? Okay. 40 00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:44,191 Oh, yeah! So good. 41 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,026 Like this? Yeah, right there, babe. 42 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,695 Like this? Like this? Yeah. 43 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:48,929 Baby, do me just like that. 44 00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:51,198 Okay, attagirl. 45 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,868 From behind? Oh, yeah, baby! Harder! 46 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:57,271 Okay. All right. 47 00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:58,906 You wanna cum for me, baby? Oh, yeah. 48 00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:01,008 Yeah? Cum for me, baby. I'm so close. I will. 49 00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,276 MOTHER: We're almost there. 50 00:04:02,310 --> 00:04:03,377 You're gonna cum for me? 51 00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:04,044 I'm about to. I'm about to. 52 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,946 That's it, baby. 53 00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:09,383 (SCREAMING) 54 00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:17,758 Grandma. Grandma. 55 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,261 HARRY: Grandma. 56 00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:26,033 ERIK: And that's the day my grandmother died. 57 00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:29,002 And it's pretty much the story of my life. But let me back things up a little bit. 58 00:04:36,544 --> 00:04:39,380 That's me. Not exactly the life of the party. 59 00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:44,618 That's my buddy, Mike Coozeman. 60 00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:48,489 Everybody calls him Cooze 'cause that's all he's ever interested in. 61 00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:51,659 Cooze is a self-proclaimed ladies' man and a legend in his own mind. 62 00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:53,394 Sometimes his methods are... 63 00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:54,495 (GROANS) 64 00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:55,929 questionable. 65 00:04:57,765 --> 00:04:59,933 Very smooth. 66 00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:02,403 Oh, please. I consider that foreplay. 67 00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:03,103 Where's Ryan? 68 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,372 I don't know. 69 00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:08,809 Last time I saw him, he was dancing with Stacey and Shelly. 70 00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:13,313 ERIK: That's my best friend, Ryan Grimm. 71 00:05:14,382 --> 00:05:16,350 I don't know how he does it. 72 00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:21,655 See, I told you there was enough for both of you. 73 00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:23,391 He moved here in second grade. 74 00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:27,361 Believe it or not, back then, I was the one showing him the ropes. 75 00:05:27,395 --> 00:05:28,696 Now he's the quarterback of the football team, 76 00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:31,365 and the coolest guy in school. 77 00:05:31,399 --> 00:05:34,402 Hey, I brought you a vodka and ginger ale so it won't upset your stomach. 78 00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:36,537 Oh, thanks. 79 00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:40,374 That's my girlfriend, Tracy. 80 00:05:40,408 --> 00:05:42,376 We met in Biology, junior year. 81 00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:45,813 TEACHER: Now make the first incision into your frogs. 82 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:49,383 Cut along the ventral side, from the pelvic to the pectoral girdle. 83 00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:51,919 Oh! 84 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,556 I don't know what she saw in me, 85 00:05:55,589 --> 00:06:00,160 but when I finally got up the nerve to ask her out, she said yes. 86 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,462 No, it's okay. 87 00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:04,398 And for some reason, she kept going out with me. 88 00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:07,801 It's like she totally gets me. 89 00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:11,805 And I try my best to get her. 90 00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:20,881 Come on. Take the low one. It's easy. 91 00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:24,051 (SIGHING) 92 00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:25,419 Screw it. 93 00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:29,122 (HORSE NEIGHING) 94 00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:32,426 Oh! 95 00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:38,466 Are you all right? 96 00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:41,935 I don't know. Is it possible to break your ass? 97 00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:46,574 Okay, I promise I'll never make you ride a horse again. 98 00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:50,110 Looks like she's perfect, right? There's just one problem. 99 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:58,519 Tracy's not ready to have sex yet, so that makes me a virgin. 100 00:06:58,552 --> 00:07:01,755 Now, being one of the only virgins in school is bad enough, 101 00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:03,957 but it's even worse for me. 102 00:07:05,693 --> 00:07:06,827 Yup. 103 00:07:07,495 --> 00:07:09,597 I'm a Stifler. 104 00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:12,099 My cousins are the legendary Stifler boys. 105 00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:18,005 Steve, his brother, Matt, and our other cousin, Dwight. 106 00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:20,207 You see, with my last name comes responsibility, 107 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:23,243 a reputation that I'm supposed to live up to. 108 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:26,647 Unfortunately, I've let down the family name on more than one occasion. 109 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,148 What's your problem, Erik? 110 00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:31,619 Your cousin would've helped me steal this beer. 111 00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:35,055 Dude, a real Stifler would have totally fucked that goat. 112 00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:38,792 If you were really a Stifler, you would have nailed Tracy by now. 113 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,661 ERIK: Stifler. 114 00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:45,165 My name, my legacy, my curse. 115 00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:52,806 I can't believe you killed your grandmother from jerking off. 116 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,508 The coroner's findings were inconclusive. 117 00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:57,545 Why are you still whacking it to that dumpster porn? 118 00:07:57,578 --> 00:08:00,280 Yeah, why don't you just go on the Internet like a normal person? 119 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,516 Well, because my mom put on that CyberNanny 120 00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:05,553 after you spent the entire night looking up German fetish porn. 121 00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:07,888 Man, you are pathetic. 122 00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:10,558 You know who I blame for this? Tracy. 123 00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:12,259 What? Why? 124 00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:15,062 Because, if she would just give up a little ass, 125 00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:19,066 then maybe you wouldn't be killing your relatives with your money shot. 126 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:26,006 Erik, you cannot graduate a virgin. For Christ's sake, you're a Stifler. 127 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,916 Hey, sweetie. How was your math class? 128 00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:38,586 It was all right. How was English? 129 00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,721 Pretty interesting, actually. 130 00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:42,623 You know that kid that I always tell you about? 131 00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:45,659 He was doing that pencil thing all... That's cool. 132 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,328 Are you okay? 133 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,763 Yeah, I'm fine. 134 00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:55,335 Erik, we've been dating for two years. I know when something's bothering you. 135 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:57,337 Nothing's wrong. 136 00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,807 I don't know why you think you have this psychic ability to read me. 137 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:03,677 Because I do. What is it? 138 00:09:03,711 --> 00:09:06,346 You're gonna think I'm an asshole. Let's just forget about it. 139 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:09,950 Come on, Erik, you know you can talk to me about anything. 140 00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:12,886 All right. 141 00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:19,760 It's the sex. 142 00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:22,229 I mean, 143 00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:25,599 we've been together for two years. Two years, Trace. 144 00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:28,168 I mean, when we were juniors, it was one thing, 145 00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:29,870 but we're seniors now, and this whole virgin thing 146 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,339 is starting to have some serious consequences. 147 00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:34,141 I mean, people are dying. 148 00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:37,377 I told you, I'm not ready yet. 149 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,847 I am so ready. 150 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,182 Can't I be ready enough for the both of us? 151 00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:44,184 It doesn't work that way. 152 00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:46,353 It should. 153 00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:48,756 I'm sorry, Erik. I know how patient you've been. 154 00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:51,058 I know. It's just sometimes... 155 00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:53,060 What? 156 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:57,197 Well, you're a girl. It's a lot easier for you to be a virgin 157 00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:59,933 because the longer you stay a virgin, the more pure and innocent you seem. 158 00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:01,735 The longer I stay a virgin, 159 00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:04,838 the more I become the laughingstock of the entire school. 160 00:10:06,674 --> 00:10:08,742 I'm sorry, but... I mean... 161 00:10:08,776 --> 00:10:10,310 I'm sorry I brought it up. 162 00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:12,212 (BELL RINGING) 163 00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:14,748 I gotta go. I'll see you after school. 164 00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:17,818 Okay. 165 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,088 Bye. 166 00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:29,262 I'm telling you, his dick was this big. 167 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,665 NATALIE: What about Erik? I bet he's got a big one. 168 00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:33,433 Well, Tracy wouldn't know. 169 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,869 Whatever. 170 00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:38,772 Yeah, I guess it's pretty hard to figure out dick size from dry humping. 171 00:10:38,806 --> 00:10:40,240 Brooke, that's mean. 172 00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:43,010 Just because I don't have a catalog of the school's dick sizes like you, 173 00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:45,178 doesn't mean I don't know a thing or two. 174 00:10:45,212 --> 00:10:47,915 Okay, so how big is Erik's? 175 00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:51,919 See? Told you. 176 00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:53,721 Come on, Brooke. 177 00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:55,222 It's not like that with us. 178 00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:57,424 I mean, Erik's different. He respects my boundaries. 179 00:10:57,457 --> 00:10:59,760 Well, you better give that boy a reason to stick around, 180 00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:02,462 or he's gonna find a girl with looser boundaries. 181 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,997 Erik would never do that. 182 00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:05,799 Yeah, that's what you said about Trent. 183 00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:09,336 He broke up with you over sex, and that was sophomore year. 184 00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:12,906 Yeah, this just isn't gonna work without the sex. 185 00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:17,711 God, Trent is cute, and I heard he just broke up with Holly. 186 00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:22,215 Look, Tracy, we love you, and we love Erik, but let's get real. 187 00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:24,918 He's a guy, and guys have certain needs. 188 00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:28,822 They really do. It's like a caveman thing or something. 189 00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:32,059 Yeah, I can't believe you've kept him tied up this long. 190 00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,195 Hey, Erik, guess who I just talked to? 191 00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:36,864 Who? 192 00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:38,832 Your cousin Stifler up at Michigan. 193 00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:40,200 Why are you talking to my cousin Dwight? 194 00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:42,502 Oh, we talk all the time. 195 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:43,804 What? We have a lot in common. 196 00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:45,906 What's that crazy bastard up to? 197 00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:49,977 He's in some fraternity, and all those guys do is drink and fuck. 198 00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:52,245 And it just so happens that they're throwing a monster party this weekend 199 00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:53,480 for the Naked Mile. 200 00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:55,015 What's the Naked Mile? 201 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,784 Oh, dude, it's this thing where thousands of students 202 00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:58,185 run naked through campus. 203 00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,487 It's the way of blowing off steam after exams. 204 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,389 Thousands of naked chicks? 205 00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:05,525 Stifler says that this party is gonna be epic. 206 00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,527 Bottom line is, this place is played out. 207 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,062 High school's over for us. 208 00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:11,531 It's time to plant our flag in a new land. 209 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:15,168 Porn, cumshot, dead grandmother, grounded for ever? 210 00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:16,870 Don't worry. 211 00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:19,907 Just tell your parents that, you know, you're thinking about going to school there. 212 00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:21,909 I don't know, man. Oh, please. 213 00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:24,778 Your mom cried when you told her you were going to school in Boston. 214 00:12:24,812 --> 00:12:27,080 She'll probably help you pack if she thinks it'll keep you close to home. 215 00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:28,816 I'll help you pack. 216 00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:30,383 I'll make sandwiches. 217 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:31,218 Chicken salad? 218 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,886 Of course. 219 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,822 Are you gonna get a chance to see your cousin? 220 00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:37,557 Yeah. We might stop by and say hello. 221 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:40,928 Now, there's someone you should definitely look up to. 222 00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:43,063 I bet he doesn't have time to blow his load on his family. 223 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,165 Harry, please. HARRY: I don't understand. 224 00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:48,568 When I was your age, I was up to my neck in poontang. 225 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,904 I didn't have time to spank my monkey. 226 00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:54,507 Thank you for that very disturbing image, Dad. 227 00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:58,178 I mean, Stiflers do not fake being sick to stay home and pull dick. 228 00:12:58,211 --> 00:12:59,479 We cut class to get ass. 229 00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:02,049 Yes, I know. That saying is on our family crest. 230 00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:03,984 Oh, don't let me forget to pack the Imodium AD. 231 00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:05,252 You know, just in case you get diarrhea. 232 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:07,254 Mom. I am so excited. 233 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:08,421 Aren't you excited, Harry? 234 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:09,923 I'm very excited. 235 00:13:11,058 --> 00:13:12,993 Don't you get excited. 236 00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:14,161 ERIK: It worked just like you said. 237 00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,364 She's helping me pack, and she's even making us sandwiches. 238 00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:18,899 Chicken salad? Yup. 239 00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:20,000 Sweet. 240 00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:22,335 See, I told you. Never doubt me. 241 00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:26,306 RYAN: Man, this weekend is gonna be tits. I can't wait to see Stifler. 242 00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:29,509 Hey, how come you never call me Stifler? 243 00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:31,144 You're more of an Erik. 244 00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:32,179 (BEEPING) 245 00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:34,381 Hold on. 246 00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:35,949 That's Tracy. I'd better take it. 247 00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:36,984 All right, later. 248 00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,589 Hey, sweetie. Listen, about today, I'm really... 249 00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:44,824 Erik, I wanna have sex. 250 00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,160 Excuse me? 251 00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:49,329 TRACY: I wanna have sex. 252 00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:50,597 Are you serious? 253 00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:53,000 Absolutely. 254 00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:55,903 Do you have me on a conference call? Because if you do, that is so not cool. 255 00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:57,404 Erik, this isn't a joke. 256 00:13:58,105 --> 00:14:00,140 I want to have sex. 257 00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:04,377 Yes! Yes, yes. 258 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:06,046 TRACY: Tonight. 259 00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:07,380 What? 260 00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:10,417 Tonight. I wanna have sex tonight. 261 00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:11,651 How am I supposed to get out of my house? 262 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:13,586 That's up to you. 263 00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:17,357 But at midnight, I'll be in my basement 264 00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:18,959 waiting to be ravished. 265 00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:20,593 I'll be there. 266 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,117 Hypocrite. 267 00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:49,189 So you get the beer and the weed, and I'll handle the nitrous. 268 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,091 You got it. What's Erik bringing? 269 00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:52,425 Sandwiches. 270 00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:56,096 Nice. Chicken salad and college pussy. 271 00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:57,998 My favorite combination. 272 00:14:58,031 --> 00:14:59,566 Yeah, well, at least you'll get to taste the chicken salad. 273 00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:01,101 Ow. 274 00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:02,970 Hey, what do you think Erik's doing right now? 275 00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:06,073 Probably beating off to dumpster porn. 276 00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:09,376 No more beating off to dumpster porn. No more virgin jokes. 277 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,644 Tonight, Erik Stifler becomes a man. 278 00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:50,583 Hi. 279 00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,093 All right, listen. No. 280 00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:02,229 No talking. 281 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,102 (SLOW MUSIC PLAYING) 282 00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:29,756 Wait. 283 00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:31,124 What? 284 00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:32,592 Did you hear something? 285 00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:35,995 No. Don't worry, my parents are passed out. 286 00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:41,434 Are you sure? You know how my stomach gets. 287 00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:45,105 Here, I'll help you relax. 288 00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,654 You brought something, right? 289 00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:06,025 Oh, shit. I left it at home. 290 00:17:08,095 --> 00:17:10,197 I can run back and get it. I'll be back in like five... 291 00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:12,265 No, no, don't worry. I've got one. 292 00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:18,738 Do you wanna put it on or should I? 293 00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:20,573 Let's put it on together. 294 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:39,826 Are you ready? 295 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,761 Yeah. 296 00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:43,563 (DOOR OPENING) 297 00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:47,200 Shit. Someone's coming. Quick, get behind the bar. Now! 298 00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:00,747 Honey, what are you still doing up? 299 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,650 Yoga. 300 00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:05,252 I ate too much at dinner. 301 00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:06,486 Why don't you take an Alka-Seltzer? 302 00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:08,521 Alka-Seltzer is for babies. 303 00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:10,123 I just need a nightcap. 304 00:18:10,157 --> 00:18:11,158 (FARTING) 305 00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:14,727 Excuse me. 306 00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:16,863 Sounds like you could use an Alka-Seltzer. 307 00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:19,166 Daddy. Here, let me get you your drink. 308 00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:21,401 No, that's okay, honey. You go back to your yoga. 309 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,270 No, Daddy, I really want to. 310 00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:26,206 Sweetie, I'm a grown man. I can make my own drink. 311 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,187 (RUSTLING) 312 00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:42,789 What was that? 313 00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:44,757 What was what? 314 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,926 I didn't hear anything. 315 00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:49,829 There was a noise coming from the laundry room. 316 00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:21,294 I must be hearing things. 317 00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:24,264 See, Daddy? I told you. Now, come make your drink. 318 00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:26,165 (FARTING) 319 00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:28,401 What the... 320 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,242 (GROANING) 321 00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:38,945 (SCREAMING) 322 00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:46,419 You all right, baby? 323 00:19:46,453 --> 00:19:47,920 I'm fine, Daddy. 324 00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:05,204 Oh, that sick bastard took a shit in our dryer. 325 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,207 I'm calling the police. 326 00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:15,648 (POLICE SIREN WAILING) 327 00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:26,393 Ryan? Ryan? 328 00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:28,328 Ryan, get up man. Ryan! 329 00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:29,862 What the fuck? 330 00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:31,764 It's me. It's Erik. 331 00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:34,401 Dude, why are you naked in my room? 332 00:20:36,336 --> 00:20:38,405 And with a rubber on your dick. 333 00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:41,408 Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. 334 00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:44,411 Look, I'm in serious trouble, okay? I need your help. 335 00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:45,578 (SNIFFING) 336 00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:48,481 What's that smell? 337 00:20:48,515 --> 00:20:50,283 Did you step in dog shit? 338 00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:53,320 Yeah. 339 00:20:53,353 --> 00:20:56,589 Hey, man, thanks for the clothes. I'll get them back to you. 340 00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:59,492 No, thanks. Why don't you just burn them? 341 00:20:59,526 --> 00:21:01,328 (POLICE SIREN WAILING) 342 00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:04,030 Wonder if I get a reward for turning you in. 343 00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:06,299 NEWSREADER: If the alleged improprieties are confirmed, 344 00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:08,568 it could be devastating for the White House. 345 00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:10,337 Sources near the administration would neither 346 00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:12,705 confirm nor deny the allegations. 347 00:21:12,739 --> 00:21:16,676 And in local news, a masked burglar broke into an area residence, 348 00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:20,880 defecated in the family's dryer, and then exposed himself to a teenage girl. 349 00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:22,582 Police are continuing the search, 350 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:25,318 but the whereabouts and identity of the perpetrator are unknown. 351 00:21:25,352 --> 00:21:27,420 What is wrong with these people? 352 00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:28,521 And now, Dakota Snow with the weekend forecast. 353 00:21:28,555 --> 00:21:29,756 I don't know. 354 00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:39,366 You scared me. 355 00:21:39,399 --> 00:21:41,468 Sorry. 356 00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:42,635 Listen, about last night... 357 00:21:42,669 --> 00:21:46,105 Yeah, you know, I'd just really rather not talk about it. 358 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:49,409 I really think that we should. 359 00:21:49,442 --> 00:21:52,345 Erik, you took a crap in my dryer. 360 00:21:52,379 --> 00:21:55,515 Your dad scared the shit out of me. 361 00:21:55,548 --> 00:21:56,716 Wait. You know, let's just... 362 00:21:56,749 --> 00:21:58,918 Let's forget about it, okay? 363 00:22:01,053 --> 00:22:03,656 Okay, but what about the other thing? 364 00:22:06,593 --> 00:22:08,928 The sex? 365 00:22:08,961 --> 00:22:11,498 I'm taking last night as a sign from above. 366 00:22:11,531 --> 00:22:13,366 But maybe... I mean, if your dad didn't come down... 367 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:16,769 Erik, I love you. I'm just... 368 00:22:16,803 --> 00:22:18,337 I'm not ready yet. 369 00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:20,039 Really? 370 00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:23,142 Really. 371 00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:26,379 But I also realized just how ready you are. 372 00:22:27,514 --> 00:22:29,482 I don't wanna break up over sex. 373 00:22:29,516 --> 00:22:32,485 I don't think we have to. 374 00:22:32,519 --> 00:22:36,823 I'm not ready. You are. It's selfish for me to keep you tied down. 375 00:22:38,591 --> 00:22:41,093 So, this is what I'm proposing. 376 00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:45,097 A guilt-free pass for this weekend. 377 00:22:45,131 --> 00:22:48,435 That means you can do whatever you want up there 378 00:22:48,468 --> 00:22:50,537 with no consequences. 379 00:22:52,472 --> 00:22:54,441 You're sure about this? 380 00:22:54,474 --> 00:22:57,777 I don't think love and sex have to be tied to each other, 381 00:22:58,711 --> 00:23:01,080 so I'm okay with this. 382 00:23:01,113 --> 00:23:04,417 One weekend. Get it out of your system, 383 00:23:05,685 --> 00:23:07,454 and come back to me. 384 00:23:09,021 --> 00:23:10,923 Is this some kind of a test? 385 00:23:12,191 --> 00:23:13,426 Not at all. 386 00:23:20,900 --> 00:23:22,669 RYAN: ...and one of bomb beer. COOZE: Yes. 387 00:23:22,702 --> 00:23:23,803 See, this is perfect. 388 00:23:24,871 --> 00:23:26,673 Hey, we all set? 389 00:23:26,706 --> 00:23:28,508 I don't know. 390 00:23:28,541 --> 00:23:29,442 I told you he'd puss out. 391 00:23:29,476 --> 00:23:32,545 Tell me you at least brought the sandwiches. 392 00:23:32,579 --> 00:23:34,581 What's the problem? 393 00:23:34,614 --> 00:23:36,583 There is no problem. 394 00:23:36,616 --> 00:23:38,718 Tracy just gave me a guilt-free pass for the weekend, 395 00:23:38,751 --> 00:23:41,187 which means I can do anything I want. 396 00:23:41,220 --> 00:23:42,622 Anything? 397 00:23:43,723 --> 00:23:45,525 You mean... 398 00:23:45,558 --> 00:23:49,161 Yeah, she said that love and sex don't have to be linked. 399 00:23:49,195 --> 00:23:50,730 She wants me to get it out of my system. 400 00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:56,703 Dude, your girlfriend just went from the lamest to the coolest in one shot. 401 00:23:56,736 --> 00:23:58,705 You guys think it could be, like, some sort of a test? 402 00:23:58,738 --> 00:24:01,007 No, no. No, no. 403 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:02,742 Tracy's a smart girl. 404 00:24:02,775 --> 00:24:04,511 She's mature enough to see that you're a man... 405 00:24:04,544 --> 00:24:06,846 Yeah. ...and you have certain needs. 406 00:24:06,879 --> 00:24:08,047 You think so? 407 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:09,616 Absolutely. 408 00:24:10,550 --> 00:24:12,151 You're driving. 409 00:24:12,184 --> 00:24:15,522 Now get in the car so we can go get you some random pussy. 410 00:24:15,555 --> 00:24:18,925 Gentlemen, it's Friday afternoon, we've got a full tank of gas, 411 00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:21,628 a quarter ounce of weed, three cases of beer, 412 00:24:21,661 --> 00:24:23,730 a ten-pound tank of nitrous, we're underage... 413 00:24:23,763 --> 00:24:26,232 And I am too drunk to drive. 414 00:24:27,567 --> 00:24:28,601 Hit it. 415 00:24:29,602 --> 00:24:31,638 (HIGHWAY TO HELL PLAYING) 416 00:24:50,222 --> 00:24:52,291 You sure this shit's safe? 417 00:24:52,324 --> 00:24:56,095 It's as safe as any other chemical used to freeze-dry animals. 418 00:24:59,566 --> 00:25:00,967 Look at the size of that fucking chicken. 419 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,635 Where? 420 00:25:02,669 --> 00:25:03,636 (TIRES SCREECHING) 421 00:25:05,304 --> 00:25:07,807 RYAN: Whoa, what the fuck? What fucking chicken? 422 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,942 Relax, he's hallucinating. 423 00:25:11,611 --> 00:25:13,680 Are you out of your fucking mind? 424 00:25:13,713 --> 00:25:16,649 Yeah, Tracy. What were you thinking? 425 00:25:16,683 --> 00:25:19,085 But you guys told me I had to give him a reason to stick around. 426 00:25:19,118 --> 00:25:21,020 Yeah, you give him a reason, 427 00:25:21,053 --> 00:25:23,690 not give him a free pass to go have a weekend orgy. 428 00:25:23,723 --> 00:25:25,224 You've got to stop this. 429 00:25:25,257 --> 00:25:28,595 If he has sex this weekend, what do you think's gonna happen? 430 00:25:28,628 --> 00:25:29,762 That it will get it out of his system. 431 00:25:29,796 --> 00:25:31,864 Oh, yeah. That's how it works. 432 00:25:31,898 --> 00:25:34,100 He's gonna go from getting laid back to dry humping. 433 00:25:34,133 --> 00:25:36,068 It's pretty risky, Tracy. 434 00:25:36,102 --> 00:25:40,306 Risky? It's a fucking Pandora's box, literally. 435 00:25:40,339 --> 00:25:44,677 And once he's felt the soft pink velvet on the inside of the box, 436 00:25:44,711 --> 00:25:48,681 he's not gonna go back to rubbing his dick on the outside of the lid. 437 00:25:48,715 --> 00:25:50,316 Never thought of it like that. 438 00:25:50,349 --> 00:25:52,685 Tracy, men are like dogs 439 00:25:52,719 --> 00:25:55,588 that run around and hump anything they see. 440 00:25:55,622 --> 00:25:58,224 Now go and get your dog back on its leash. 441 00:26:14,907 --> 00:26:16,876 (CELL PHONE BUZZING) 442 00:26:21,380 --> 00:26:22,782 Come on, Erik. 443 00:26:29,355 --> 00:26:31,658 I knew it was too good to be true. 444 00:26:37,229 --> 00:26:39,832 Sorry, kids. It's for the best. 445 00:27:07,026 --> 00:27:07,894 Tracy? 446 00:27:09,128 --> 00:27:10,429 Oh, Mr. Levenstein. 447 00:27:10,462 --> 00:27:11,698 Hi. Hi. 448 00:27:11,731 --> 00:27:13,666 You're back for more yoga. 449 00:27:13,700 --> 00:27:15,167 Well, my wife is hooked on it, 450 00:27:15,201 --> 00:27:19,939 and she thinks if I can be a little more flexible, we can try some new... 451 00:27:21,874 --> 00:27:25,644 Have you ever heard of a book called the Kama Sutra? 452 00:27:27,179 --> 00:27:28,748 No. 453 00:27:28,781 --> 00:27:30,983 Oh, well, my wife just got it, 454 00:27:31,017 --> 00:27:34,721 and there's some stuff in there that requires some serious stretching, 455 00:27:34,754 --> 00:27:37,323 if you know what I mean. 456 00:27:37,356 --> 00:27:41,027 Are you okay, honey? You look a little upset. 457 00:27:41,060 --> 00:27:44,163 Oh, you know, just some boyfriend stuff. 458 00:27:44,196 --> 00:27:46,899 Oh, boyfriend stuff. 459 00:27:46,933 --> 00:27:50,436 Well, if there's anything I can do. 460 00:27:50,469 --> 00:27:53,840 No offense or anything, but I don't think you'd understand. 461 00:27:54,774 --> 00:27:55,808 Oh, I see. 462 00:27:57,043 --> 00:27:59,746 You know, my son had his fair share 463 00:27:59,779 --> 00:28:03,115 of relationship/sexual/ 464 00:28:04,917 --> 00:28:07,253 pastry-related difficulties, 465 00:28:07,286 --> 00:28:13,425 and I think my advice helped him over the years. 466 00:28:13,459 --> 00:28:16,863 Well, do you have any advice for a girl dumb enough to give her virgin boyfriend 467 00:28:16,896 --> 00:28:20,032 a guilt-free pass for the weekend? 468 00:28:20,066 --> 00:28:23,803 I'm sorry, a guilt-free pass? 469 00:28:23,836 --> 00:28:26,773 That means he could do whatever he wants this weekend with no consequences. 470 00:28:26,806 --> 00:28:28,975 Oh my! 471 00:28:29,008 --> 00:28:32,511 Well, that certainly sounds progressive, 472 00:28:32,544 --> 00:28:37,483 and a safe bet on what is probably gonna be a humdrum weekend. 473 00:28:39,418 --> 00:28:42,354 He's at the Naked Mile this weekend. 474 00:28:42,388 --> 00:28:46,759 You gave your boyfriend a guilt-free pass to the Naked Mile? Are you kidding me? 475 00:28:46,793 --> 00:28:50,062 Tracy, the Naked Mile is insane. You... 476 00:28:50,096 --> 00:28:53,532 From what I hear. I wouldn't know from personal experience 477 00:28:53,565 --> 00:28:58,104 because I, you know, I have nothing whatsoever to do with it. 478 00:28:58,137 --> 00:29:00,907 But, look, Tracy, 479 00:29:00,940 --> 00:29:04,143 even if your boyfriend is at this Naked Mile, 480 00:29:04,176 --> 00:29:06,946 it doesn't mean he's gonna do anything. 481 00:29:08,347 --> 00:29:09,849 Really? 482 00:29:09,882 --> 00:29:12,819 Well, just because he can, doesn't mean he will. 483 00:29:13,886 --> 00:29:16,956 Relationships are all about trust. 484 00:29:20,226 --> 00:29:22,494 Yeah, I guess you're right. 485 00:29:23,462 --> 00:29:26,098 Well, namaste. 486 00:29:26,899 --> 00:29:28,000 Namaste. 487 00:29:46,018 --> 00:29:48,154 Hey, have you seen my phone? 488 00:29:48,187 --> 00:29:49,421 No. 489 00:29:49,455 --> 00:29:51,490 Maybe you left it back at school. 490 00:29:51,523 --> 00:29:53,292 No, no, I thought I put in my backpack. 491 00:29:57,563 --> 00:30:00,599 Hey, you wanna pull over at that stop up ahead? I gotta take a piss. 492 00:30:00,632 --> 00:30:03,002 Just piss in a can or something. 493 00:30:04,603 --> 00:30:06,605 Man, I could cut my dick on the lip. 494 00:30:06,638 --> 00:30:08,007 Well, piss out the window. 495 00:30:34,901 --> 00:30:37,970 Love that breeze off the lake. 496 00:30:50,983 --> 00:30:53,085 COOZE: This place is incredible. 497 00:30:53,119 --> 00:30:56,255 Just think, next year I'm gonna be going here. 498 00:30:56,288 --> 00:30:59,225 Yeah, thanks to Daddy and his alumni connections. 499 00:30:59,258 --> 00:31:02,161 Fuck off. I told you, I got in on my SAT scores. 500 00:31:02,194 --> 00:31:04,563 You scored five points above being legally retarded. 501 00:31:04,596 --> 00:31:06,598 (RYAN AND ERIK LAUGHING) 502 00:31:06,632 --> 00:31:09,035 Whatever. Still got in. 503 00:31:10,269 --> 00:31:12,138 Hey, why does it smell like piss back here? 504 00:31:15,441 --> 00:31:17,676 RYAN: This is it. Beta Delta Xi. 505 00:31:17,709 --> 00:31:19,345 ERIK:This is the house? RYAN: Yeah. 506 00:31:19,378 --> 00:31:20,479 Cool. 507 00:31:22,348 --> 00:31:23,382 Whoa. 508 00:31:30,022 --> 00:31:31,390 What's going on here? 509 00:31:31,423 --> 00:31:32,992 I have no idea. 510 00:31:41,100 --> 00:31:44,636 ALL: Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink. 511 00:31:49,976 --> 00:31:51,710 Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink. 512 00:31:51,743 --> 00:31:52,979 Hold your drink! 513 00:31:56,715 --> 00:31:57,916 MAN: Whoa. 514 00:32:04,290 --> 00:32:05,958 MAN: Okay. 515 00:32:06,725 --> 00:32:07,994 Yeah. 516 00:32:11,998 --> 00:32:14,166 How you feeling there, Stretch? 517 00:32:14,733 --> 00:32:16,035 Little dizzy? 518 00:32:17,436 --> 00:32:19,271 'Cause guess what? 519 00:32:19,305 --> 00:32:23,142 Stifler can drink this shit all day long. 520 00:32:25,677 --> 00:32:26,945 (ALL CHEERING) 521 00:32:28,514 --> 00:32:29,982 ALL: Stifler! 522 00:32:31,583 --> 00:32:33,952 Your cousin is my hero. 523 00:32:35,154 --> 00:32:36,555 (MAN WHISTLING) 524 00:32:36,588 --> 00:32:39,158 All right, everybody freeze! Oh, shit. 525 00:32:39,191 --> 00:32:40,959 Campus security. 526 00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:43,662 Nobody takes another drink... 527 00:32:48,134 --> 00:32:51,003 ...till I got my bet down. I got $200 on Stifler! 528 00:32:55,807 --> 00:32:58,744 Spanky, you had me going, you silly son of a bitch. 529 00:32:58,777 --> 00:33:00,346 OFFICER: Let's do it. Do it! 530 00:33:00,379 --> 00:33:01,413 Yeah. 531 00:33:18,530 --> 00:33:22,101 You got steel nuts, my man. I'll give you that much. 532 00:33:22,134 --> 00:33:23,335 But you're no match for the Stif-man. 533 00:33:25,537 --> 00:33:27,005 Fuck you, Stifler. 534 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:30,176 Yeah. 535 00:33:31,843 --> 00:33:32,778 Yeah. 536 00:33:36,215 --> 00:33:38,150 (ALL MURMURING) 537 00:33:38,184 --> 00:33:39,651 What's the matter, Boy Band? 538 00:33:39,685 --> 00:33:42,321 You need a little something to settle your stomach? 539 00:33:44,423 --> 00:33:45,791 (BELCHING) 540 00:33:49,428 --> 00:33:51,063 (PEOPLE LAUGHING) 541 00:33:51,097 --> 00:33:52,531 (BLOWING) 542 00:33:52,564 --> 00:33:55,101 Yeah, take in the Stifler essence. 543 00:33:55,434 --> 00:33:57,669 Mighty pungent. 544 00:33:57,703 --> 00:33:59,238 (ALL YELLING) 545 00:34:07,779 --> 00:34:08,880 Yeah! 546 00:34:08,914 --> 00:34:12,818 And still Heavyweight Drinking Champion of the World, 547 00:34:12,851 --> 00:34:17,656 Dwight "The Iron Liver" Stifler! 548 00:34:17,689 --> 00:34:19,091 (ALL CHEERING) 549 00:34:20,126 --> 00:34:23,162 I'm a bad motherfucker, baby! 550 00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:29,601 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 551 00:34:30,869 --> 00:34:33,105 He's okay. He's okay. 552 00:34:39,545 --> 00:34:41,647 Hey, cousin. 553 00:34:43,215 --> 00:34:45,117 How you doing? 554 00:34:45,151 --> 00:34:47,819 I'm fine, Dwight. Are you okay? 555 00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:50,189 Oh, yeah, I'm fine. 556 00:34:50,922 --> 00:34:53,259 I'm fine. 557 00:34:53,292 --> 00:34:56,628 Hey, I heard that you killed Grandma with your cumshot. 558 00:34:58,564 --> 00:35:00,199 That sucks, man. 559 00:35:05,271 --> 00:35:06,605 Should we take him to the hospital? 560 00:35:06,638 --> 00:35:08,507 RYAN: No, he'll be fine. 561 00:35:08,540 --> 00:35:12,711 He told me he does this, like, once a month. 562 00:35:12,744 --> 00:35:16,648 Okay, well, you guys keep an eye on him. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. 563 00:35:23,355 --> 00:35:26,292 (GIRLS GIGGLING) Yes, I'm going. It's the naked mile! 564 00:35:33,599 --> 00:35:36,168 So, when are we gonna start partying? 565 00:35:36,202 --> 00:35:38,904 Oh, someone's feeling a little frisky. 566 00:35:38,937 --> 00:35:42,140 Let's just say I finally decided to live up to the family name. 567 00:35:44,343 --> 00:35:48,514 Stifler? We got a serious problem, man. 568 00:35:48,547 --> 00:35:51,383 Mike and the guys just got arrested trying to steal a monkey from the zoo. 569 00:35:53,385 --> 00:35:56,255 So what's the problem? Just take the money out of my bail fund. 570 00:35:56,288 --> 00:35:58,424 They're almost half our football team. 571 00:35:58,457 --> 00:36:01,293 We gotta put a team on the field, man, or we're done. 572 00:36:01,327 --> 00:36:04,196 Why? 'Cause we're already on probation. 573 00:36:04,230 --> 00:36:06,832 We gotta participate in every intermural event 574 00:36:06,865 --> 00:36:09,268 or we're kicked off campus, man. 575 00:36:09,301 --> 00:36:10,836 We're four guys short. 576 00:36:15,441 --> 00:36:16,475 I play football. 577 00:36:17,709 --> 00:36:19,745 I played freshman year. 578 00:36:21,347 --> 00:36:22,748 What about you? 579 00:36:23,782 --> 00:36:25,284 A little Nerf here and there. 580 00:36:25,317 --> 00:36:27,353 Good enough. Stifler? 581 00:36:27,386 --> 00:36:28,554 Mmm? 582 00:36:28,587 --> 00:36:31,457 Can you play? 583 00:36:37,396 --> 00:36:41,533 Don't ever 584 00:36:41,567 --> 00:36:43,469 ask if Stifler can play. 585 00:36:54,346 --> 00:36:55,247 I'm good. 586 00:36:58,684 --> 00:37:02,721 The team we're playing's been undefeated five straight years. 587 00:37:02,754 --> 00:37:05,291 These guys must be pretty serious. 588 00:37:05,324 --> 00:37:07,493 Fucking-A-right, they're serious. 589 00:37:07,526 --> 00:37:09,995 Lambda Pi Gamma. 590 00:37:10,028 --> 00:37:13,332 They're our arch rivals in everything: Sports, women, booze. 591 00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:16,935 These guys are fucking evil. 592 00:37:18,570 --> 00:37:19,905 MAN 1: Get ready! 593 00:37:19,938 --> 00:37:21,340 MAN 2: Come on! 594 00:37:21,707 --> 00:37:23,241 Down! 595 00:37:24,042 --> 00:37:26,378 Blue 42. 596 00:37:26,412 --> 00:37:27,513 They're midgets. 597 00:37:27,546 --> 00:37:28,714 Hut! 598 00:37:32,751 --> 00:37:34,820 Don't let their size fool you. 599 00:37:34,853 --> 00:37:38,657 These guys are fucking animals. 600 00:37:38,690 --> 00:37:42,027 Did I do too much nitrous? A midget fraternity? 601 00:37:42,060 --> 00:37:46,598 Those rich midgets from those infomercials gave the school some huge grant, 602 00:37:46,632 --> 00:37:50,336 and started a school for the vertically challenged and a fraternity. 603 00:37:50,369 --> 00:37:53,439 And this is where every midget in America wants to be. 604 00:37:53,472 --> 00:37:54,373 Hot feet! 605 00:37:54,406 --> 00:37:55,407 DWIGHT: That's right. 606 00:37:55,441 --> 00:37:56,542 Breakdown. 607 00:37:56,575 --> 00:37:58,877 These guys are the best of the best. 608 00:38:00,346 --> 00:38:02,681 ROCK: Well, well, well. 609 00:38:02,714 --> 00:38:06,718 If it isn't the regular-size retards and Captain Retard himself. 610 00:38:06,752 --> 00:38:09,555 You ready to get your ass kicked again, Shitler? 611 00:38:09,588 --> 00:38:12,391 Get back to Oz there before you get your ass stomped, Toto. 612 00:38:12,424 --> 00:38:13,659 (LAUGHING) 613 00:38:13,692 --> 00:38:17,396 Toto was the dog, you fucking idiot. 614 00:38:17,429 --> 00:38:20,732 Lick my balls, big-wheel-riding, midget motherfucker. 615 00:38:20,766 --> 00:38:23,034 It's little person, fuck-nut. 616 00:38:23,068 --> 00:38:26,705 This year, I'm gonna take a chunk out of your other leg. 617 00:38:26,738 --> 00:38:28,340 You little... 618 00:38:28,374 --> 00:38:29,641 (ALL YELLING) 619 00:38:32,444 --> 00:38:35,414 You want it? You want it? Come on. Take it easy. 620 00:38:35,447 --> 00:38:37,082 Whoa. Whoa. 621 00:38:37,115 --> 00:38:38,784 Out of my way, assholes. 622 00:38:42,454 --> 00:38:44,456 ERIK: What's that guy's problem? 623 00:38:44,490 --> 00:38:46,858 That's Rock. He's fucking crazy. 624 00:38:46,892 --> 00:38:48,427 He plays dirty. ROCK: You fucking idiot. 625 00:38:48,460 --> 00:38:50,996 Last year, he bit a chunk out of my thigh. 626 00:38:51,029 --> 00:38:53,098 COOZE: Jesus! 627 00:38:53,131 --> 00:38:55,100 COOZE: Hey, his girlfriend's pretty hot. 628 00:38:56,468 --> 00:39:00,672 Yeah. And what's with that regular-size guy? 629 00:39:00,706 --> 00:39:05,010 Oh, it's Rock's cousin. They had to let him in. Legacy. 630 00:39:06,878 --> 00:39:09,648 What a douchebag. 631 00:39:10,549 --> 00:39:11,550 Can he play? 632 00:39:12,551 --> 00:39:15,487 No, he sucks. 633 00:39:15,521 --> 00:39:16,522 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 634 00:39:19,558 --> 00:39:21,126 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 635 00:39:26,765 --> 00:39:28,033 Hey, keep your head up. 636 00:39:28,066 --> 00:39:30,569 Whatever, they're midgets. How bad can it be? 637 00:39:30,602 --> 00:39:32,003 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 638 00:39:40,045 --> 00:39:41,480 (SCREAMING) 639 00:39:41,847 --> 00:39:44,516 (GROANING) 640 00:39:44,550 --> 00:39:45,717 Holy shit! 641 00:39:55,461 --> 00:39:57,729 Keep your head up, bitch. 642 00:40:03,469 --> 00:40:06,938 I told you, man. Don't underestimate these little bastards. 643 00:40:08,507 --> 00:40:09,908 Down! 644 00:40:09,941 --> 00:40:11,409 Set! 645 00:40:11,877 --> 00:40:12,944 Hut! 646 00:40:16,615 --> 00:40:18,083 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 647 00:40:19,084 --> 00:40:20,886 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 648 00:40:31,497 --> 00:40:32,764 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 649 00:40:54,620 --> 00:40:56,688 (GROANING) 650 00:40:56,722 --> 00:40:58,657 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 651 00:41:15,541 --> 00:41:17,543 Beta! Come on! 652 00:41:17,576 --> 00:41:19,611 Let's go, fellas. Get on the line. 653 00:41:20,245 --> 00:41:21,947 Down! 654 00:41:22,313 --> 00:41:24,182 How you feeling, Stifler? 655 00:41:24,215 --> 00:41:26,785 I'm 6'1", Frodo. How about you? 656 00:41:29,087 --> 00:41:30,055 Set! 657 00:41:30,889 --> 00:41:31,923 Hut! 658 00:41:34,893 --> 00:41:36,227 (SCREAMING) 659 00:41:36,261 --> 00:41:37,963 The little fucker's biting me again. 660 00:41:38,730 --> 00:41:40,632 (SCREAMING) 661 00:41:45,637 --> 00:41:46,805 Not in my eye! 662 00:41:50,842 --> 00:41:52,578 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 663 00:41:55,346 --> 00:41:57,783 Funny, you don't look 6'1" from here, shit stain. 664 00:42:06,024 --> 00:42:07,593 (I WISH PLAYING) 665 00:42:27,613 --> 00:42:28,814 DWIGHT: God, 666 00:42:29,715 --> 00:42:31,817 I hate that fucking guy. 667 00:42:31,850 --> 00:42:33,351 I'm getting killed out there. 668 00:42:33,384 --> 00:42:35,220 I can't get loose. 669 00:42:35,253 --> 00:42:38,223 They're so fast and small. I don't know what to do. 670 00:42:38,256 --> 00:42:40,759 Quit crying, you bunch of bra-wearing pussies. 671 00:42:40,792 --> 00:42:44,362 I just got a hunk taken out of my leg. You don't hear me crying. 672 00:42:44,395 --> 00:42:46,097 All right, then, let's put our balls on the table. 673 00:42:46,131 --> 00:42:50,702 Let's go out there and show these little sons of bitches what being a Beta's all about. 674 00:42:50,736 --> 00:42:52,604 You understand what I'm saying, fellas? Yeah, yeah. 675 00:42:52,638 --> 00:42:54,940 All right, Beta on three. 676 00:42:54,973 --> 00:42:56,642 One, two, three, Beta! ALL: Beta! 677 00:42:57,776 --> 00:42:58,910 Down! Set! 678 00:42:59,410 --> 00:43:00,746 DWIGHT: Hut! 679 00:43:06,184 --> 00:43:07,252 Go! 680 00:43:11,189 --> 00:43:12,323 Go! 681 00:43:13,224 --> 00:43:14,592 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 682 00:43:17,262 --> 00:43:18,830 (ALL CHEERING) 683 00:43:57,736 --> 00:43:59,170 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 684 00:43:59,204 --> 00:44:00,171 Yeah, yeah. Let's go, boys. 685 00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:03,842 All right, we got five seconds left, guys. 686 00:44:03,875 --> 00:44:06,712 If you're about to get tackled, lateral it to the nearest guy. 687 00:44:06,745 --> 00:44:08,980 It's our only chance. 688 00:44:09,014 --> 00:44:11,717 All right, let's go now. Come on, Beta on three. 689 00:44:11,750 --> 00:44:12,818 Beta on three. Who's with me? 690 00:44:12,851 --> 00:44:14,986 One, two, three, Beta! ALL: Beta! 691 00:44:23,762 --> 00:44:24,830 Down! 692 00:44:28,199 --> 00:44:30,702 Set! 693 00:44:44,115 --> 00:44:45,216 Hut! 694 00:44:46,384 --> 00:44:48,086 (MY HERO PLAYING) 695 00:45:19,951 --> 00:45:21,252 (WHOOPING) 696 00:45:26,091 --> 00:45:27,826 (ALL CHEERING) 697 00:45:40,238 --> 00:45:41,773 (GROANING) 698 00:45:46,511 --> 00:45:48,246 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 699 00:45:48,279 --> 00:45:49,881 (CHEERING) 700 00:45:51,850 --> 00:45:53,151 WOMAN: We kicked your ass! 701 00:45:53,184 --> 00:45:55,186 (GROANS) 702 00:45:55,220 --> 00:45:57,856 You're still my bitch, Stifler. 703 00:45:57,889 --> 00:45:58,957 Yeah! 704 00:45:59,858 --> 00:46:01,059 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 705 00:46:10,568 --> 00:46:13,571 I can't believe we lost to midgets. 706 00:46:13,604 --> 00:46:16,908 Don't let those Oompa Loompa bastards get to you. 707 00:46:16,942 --> 00:46:21,312 Right now, we have more important matters to tend to, gentlemen. 708 00:46:21,346 --> 00:46:23,514 From what I understand, 709 00:46:23,548 --> 00:46:26,918 my cousin has a guilt-free pass 710 00:46:26,952 --> 00:46:29,955 to bang all the girls he can find. 711 00:46:30,555 --> 00:46:32,057 That I do. 712 00:46:32,090 --> 00:46:36,427 Oh, that is good news. 713 00:46:36,461 --> 00:46:39,898 Christ, for a while I was starting to think you were adopted. 714 00:46:39,931 --> 00:46:41,566 (STUDENTS CHATTERING) 715 00:46:41,599 --> 00:46:43,401 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 716 00:46:49,407 --> 00:46:50,909 Gentlemen, 717 00:46:52,277 --> 00:46:55,914 welcome to paradise. 718 00:47:03,889 --> 00:47:05,857 Boys and girls, 719 00:47:05,891 --> 00:47:08,393 we have a celebrity in our midst. 720 00:47:08,426 --> 00:47:12,230 The Heavyweight Drinking Champion of the World, 721 00:47:12,263 --> 00:47:16,267 Dwight "Iron Liver" Stifler! 722 00:47:16,301 --> 00:47:18,003 (ALL CHEERING) 723 00:47:24,442 --> 00:47:26,511 (WHOOPS) 724 00:47:26,544 --> 00:47:29,580 All right, you pussy-wipes, I'm gonna go find some lady friends. 725 00:47:29,614 --> 00:47:32,918 Try not to blow your wad in the first minute, huh? 726 00:47:35,286 --> 00:47:38,656 There is no way Allison's party was better than Jimmy's. 727 00:47:38,689 --> 00:47:41,026 You're nuts. Jimmy's party had two kegs 728 00:47:41,059 --> 00:47:44,362 and those two theater chicks went down on each other on the pool table 729 00:47:44,395 --> 00:47:46,031 in front of everybody. 730 00:47:46,064 --> 00:47:47,498 What the hell are you two talking about? 731 00:47:47,532 --> 00:47:48,666 What? 732 00:47:48,699 --> 00:47:52,070 Two kegs, theater chicks. Well, guess what? 733 00:47:52,103 --> 00:47:55,040 We're in a college bar full of unlimited booze and pussy, 734 00:47:55,073 --> 00:47:58,176 and we're sitting at the bar talking about high-school parties. 735 00:48:05,383 --> 00:48:09,054 Ryan? Ryan! What's your problem? 736 00:48:09,087 --> 00:48:10,688 That Great Falls attitude. 737 00:48:10,721 --> 00:48:12,924 All you guys do is talk about Great Falls 738 00:48:12,958 --> 00:48:15,260 like it's the end-all and be-all of existence. 739 00:48:15,293 --> 00:48:18,696 The place is a fucking trap, which is why I'm going to California. 740 00:48:18,729 --> 00:48:20,331 I'm not gonna get stuck like the rest of them. 741 00:48:20,365 --> 00:48:21,699 Yeah, I know. I think that's great. 742 00:48:21,732 --> 00:48:25,703 Yeah, but don't you see? That's what this weekend is about for me. 743 00:48:25,736 --> 00:48:27,973 What do you mean? To see if I can do it. 744 00:48:28,006 --> 00:48:31,309 If I can start over and accept being low man on the totem pole. 745 00:48:31,342 --> 00:48:32,978 Ryan, it's just a weekend, man. 746 00:48:33,011 --> 00:48:35,580 Maybe to you, but to me it's a lot more than that. 747 00:48:38,416 --> 00:48:40,051 Man, I sound like a chick. 748 00:48:40,085 --> 00:48:40,918 Mmm-hmm. 749 00:48:40,952 --> 00:48:42,553 I really need to go get some pussy. 750 00:48:42,587 --> 00:48:43,955 Yeah. 751 00:48:47,058 --> 00:48:47,993 Oh, shit. 752 00:48:48,026 --> 00:48:50,261 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. 753 00:48:50,295 --> 00:48:53,664 No, no, no, no. It's fine. I can't believe I did that. 754 00:48:53,698 --> 00:48:55,066 Here, come with me. 755 00:48:56,134 --> 00:48:58,069 (STUDENTS CHATTERING) 756 00:48:58,103 --> 00:48:59,104 Quick, take off your shirt. 757 00:48:59,137 --> 00:49:00,371 Excuse me? 758 00:49:00,405 --> 00:49:02,974 Well, I just... I wanna get the stain out. Oh, yeah, right. 759 00:49:03,008 --> 00:49:04,275 I knew that. 760 00:49:07,778 --> 00:49:09,180 Are we allowed to be back here? 761 00:49:09,214 --> 00:49:11,049 Oh, yeah, don't worry. I used to bartend here. 762 00:49:11,082 --> 00:49:13,084 Cool. 763 00:49:13,118 --> 00:49:16,121 Look, I'm really, really sorry about this. Right. 764 00:49:18,356 --> 00:49:21,092 Accidents happen. 765 00:49:21,126 --> 00:49:23,094 I'm Brandy, by the way. I'm Erik. 766 00:49:23,128 --> 00:49:25,696 You know, any other frat asshole would bite my head off right now 767 00:49:25,730 --> 00:49:27,165 if I spilled a drink on him. 768 00:49:27,198 --> 00:49:27,999 I'm... 769 00:49:30,201 --> 00:49:32,037 I'm not in a fraternity. 770 00:49:32,070 --> 00:49:34,105 Oh, you're not? So you're independent? 771 00:49:34,139 --> 00:49:34,939 What's that? 772 00:49:34,972 --> 00:49:37,642 You know, a student who's not Greek. 773 00:49:37,675 --> 00:49:41,246 No, I'm just visiting for the weekend. I'm a senior in high school. 774 00:49:41,279 --> 00:49:42,213 High school? 775 00:49:42,247 --> 00:49:43,614 Yeah. 776 00:49:45,116 --> 00:49:46,751 (GIRLS LAUGHING) 777 00:49:46,784 --> 00:49:50,021 Really? Most girls slap me or kick me in the balls when I say that. 778 00:49:50,055 --> 00:49:52,023 Why? It's hysterical. 779 00:49:52,057 --> 00:49:54,392 That's what I say. What are your names? 780 00:49:54,425 --> 00:49:56,261 I'm Jill and this is Alexis. 781 00:49:56,294 --> 00:49:58,796 Hey, this is my buddy Ryan. 782 00:49:58,829 --> 00:50:00,398 Hey, Ryan. Hey, Ryan. 783 00:50:00,431 --> 00:50:02,733 Hey, ladies. 784 00:50:02,767 --> 00:50:07,172 Amnesty International. Is that some kind of rock band? 785 00:50:07,205 --> 00:50:10,241 It's an organization that works to protect human rights all over the world. 786 00:50:10,275 --> 00:50:11,742 Oh. 787 00:50:11,776 --> 00:50:14,011 MAN: Hey, get away from our dates. 788 00:50:14,579 --> 00:50:17,115 Down here, asshole. 789 00:50:17,148 --> 00:50:18,383 What the hell do you want? 790 00:50:18,416 --> 00:50:19,584 Just what he said. 791 00:50:19,617 --> 00:50:22,053 For you two to get away from our dates. 792 00:50:22,087 --> 00:50:24,155 In your dreams, Willow. 793 00:50:24,189 --> 00:50:27,158 There is no way these girls are here with you. 794 00:50:29,227 --> 00:50:30,128 Are you? 795 00:50:32,730 --> 00:50:34,332 But why? They're cool. 796 00:50:34,365 --> 00:50:36,501 And sexy. 797 00:50:36,534 --> 00:50:38,336 You gotta be fucking kidding me. 798 00:50:38,369 --> 00:50:39,704 (GROANS) 799 00:50:39,737 --> 00:50:41,839 Ain't nobody kidding around here, punk. 800 00:50:41,872 --> 00:50:44,109 If you got a problem, we could settle this right here. 801 00:50:44,142 --> 00:50:45,510 Oh, I would love to. 802 00:50:45,543 --> 00:50:48,579 Okay, stop it, you guys. 803 00:50:48,613 --> 00:50:52,717 Listen, it was really nice meeting you two, but we're spoken for tonight. 804 00:50:53,751 --> 00:50:55,653 Come on, baby, let's dance. 805 00:51:06,631 --> 00:51:08,666 That did not just happen. 806 00:51:13,538 --> 00:51:17,508 Time for a Stifler blowjob! 807 00:51:20,378 --> 00:51:25,082 Oh, get sexy, ladies, I love it. Oh, I feel a stirring in my loins. 808 00:51:30,688 --> 00:51:32,089 You've gotta meet my roommate. 809 00:51:34,292 --> 00:51:37,228 I would love to. 810 00:51:37,262 --> 00:51:39,864 Dude, the fucking midgets just stole our women. 811 00:51:39,897 --> 00:51:41,132 RYAN: Yeah, those fuckers are out of hand. 812 00:51:41,166 --> 00:51:47,138 I told you guys, don't underestimate those little bastards. 813 00:51:47,172 --> 00:51:50,275 That midget quarterback stole my girlfriend last year. 814 00:51:52,377 --> 00:51:53,711 Slut! 815 00:51:53,744 --> 00:51:55,480 ROCK: Out of my goddamn way. 816 00:51:57,582 --> 00:52:00,185 Holy shit! 817 00:52:00,218 --> 00:52:03,588 I thought this place had a no-loser policy. What are you assholes doing here? 818 00:52:03,621 --> 00:52:05,756 Fuck off, Mighty Mouse. 819 00:52:05,790 --> 00:52:09,194 Man, don't take it out on me because your ladies like it short and thick, 820 00:52:09,227 --> 00:52:11,162 rather than tall and skinny. 821 00:52:14,399 --> 00:52:18,269 Rock, don't you know, baby? This bar is like a roller coaster. 822 00:52:18,303 --> 00:52:20,305 Yeah, it has a height requirement, 823 00:52:20,338 --> 00:52:23,841 and I'm afraid you just don't measure up! Motherfucker. 824 00:52:25,843 --> 00:52:28,246 Easy! Easy! Easy! Whoa! 825 00:52:28,279 --> 00:52:29,514 This isn't over, Shitler. 826 00:52:29,547 --> 00:52:31,416 Oh, you got that right! 827 00:52:33,351 --> 00:52:35,886 Never get in my way, woman. 828 00:52:44,229 --> 00:52:45,730 What's up? 829 00:52:50,868 --> 00:52:51,836 Bitch. 830 00:52:54,772 --> 00:52:56,674 BRANDY: That did not happen. 831 00:52:56,707 --> 00:52:59,377 I swear to God, I was running through the streets with nylons on my head 832 00:52:59,410 --> 00:53:01,746 and the condom still on. 833 00:53:01,779 --> 00:53:03,248 I can't believe I just told you that story. 834 00:53:03,281 --> 00:53:04,982 I think it's great. 835 00:53:05,015 --> 00:53:08,486 I mean, think of it this way, you'll never forget your first time. 836 00:53:08,519 --> 00:53:10,388 Well, it wasn't... 837 00:53:10,421 --> 00:53:11,656 Technically... 838 00:53:11,689 --> 00:53:13,391 Oh, no, wait. 839 00:53:13,424 --> 00:53:17,528 You mean you didn't even get to... He came down too fast. 840 00:53:17,562 --> 00:53:21,899 Thank you. Thank you for laughing at my misfortune. 841 00:53:21,932 --> 00:53:25,403 I think you're a sweetheart. And you're really cute. 842 00:53:26,571 --> 00:53:27,805 This is me. 843 00:53:29,707 --> 00:53:31,576 So, are you guys running the Mile tomorrow? 844 00:53:31,609 --> 00:53:35,280 I don't know. There's something about running naked down the street 845 00:53:35,313 --> 00:53:37,348 while you're still a virgin... 846 00:53:37,382 --> 00:53:38,583 Didn't stop you before. 847 00:53:38,616 --> 00:53:40,585 Touche. 848 00:53:40,618 --> 00:53:44,289 You never know, that virgin thing, 849 00:53:44,322 --> 00:53:46,924 it could totally change by the end of the weekend. 850 00:53:49,527 --> 00:53:51,296 Thanks for walking me home. 851 00:54:13,851 --> 00:54:16,387 What the hell happened to you last night? 852 00:54:17,555 --> 00:54:18,823 What's up, fellas? 853 00:54:18,856 --> 00:54:20,090 What's up? 854 00:54:20,124 --> 00:54:24,061 What's up is we got cock-blocked by some midgets at the bar. 855 00:54:24,094 --> 00:54:27,432 Cooze, never mind that. Where the hell were you? 856 00:54:27,465 --> 00:54:31,736 Well, Mother, if you must know, I was with a girl. 857 00:54:35,406 --> 00:54:37,308 Bullshit. What girl? 858 00:54:37,342 --> 00:54:40,378 Her name is Brandy. She's in a sorority and she's hot, 859 00:54:40,411 --> 00:54:42,313 and I'm supposed to meet her at the Mile tonight. 860 00:54:43,381 --> 00:54:45,316 Dude, I don't get it. 861 00:54:45,350 --> 00:54:49,520 We come to college, we get blown off by chicks for midgets, 862 00:54:49,554 --> 00:54:52,490 and you're hanging out with a sorority girl? 863 00:54:52,523 --> 00:54:55,460 What the fuck is going on here? 864 00:54:55,493 --> 00:54:57,562 So, what are you gonna do? 865 00:54:58,729 --> 00:55:01,399 What do you mean? He's gonna bang that chick. 866 00:55:03,401 --> 00:55:04,435 Aren't you? 867 00:55:04,469 --> 00:55:05,903 What? 868 00:55:08,406 --> 00:55:09,940 Yeah. 869 00:55:09,974 --> 00:55:13,544 Yeah, of course I will. I'm on a guilt-free pass, why wouldn't I? 870 00:55:13,578 --> 00:55:16,481 Why the hesitation, man? 871 00:55:16,514 --> 00:55:19,684 Oh, shit! You're not gonna do it. I said I'll do it. 872 00:55:19,717 --> 00:55:23,454 Erik, you've been given a gift from above. Don't fuck it up. 873 00:55:23,488 --> 00:55:24,489 I won't. 874 00:55:24,522 --> 00:55:25,756 Yes, you will. 875 00:55:25,790 --> 00:55:26,891 No. 876 00:55:27,758 --> 00:55:29,894 I... I gotta get out of here. 877 00:55:45,510 --> 00:55:46,777 (BEEPING) 878 00:55:49,547 --> 00:55:51,382 (PHONE RINGING) 879 00:55:51,416 --> 00:55:52,517 Hello? 880 00:55:52,550 --> 00:55:53,884 ERIK: Hey, it's me. 881 00:55:56,186 --> 00:55:58,088 Calling to see how you're doing. 882 00:55:58,122 --> 00:55:59,424 I'm fine, 883 00:55:59,457 --> 00:56:00,691 I'm just studying. 884 00:56:00,725 --> 00:56:01,926 Okay. 885 00:56:03,193 --> 00:56:04,462 Cool. 886 00:56:05,730 --> 00:56:08,399 So, did you guys decide if you're gonna run in the Naked Mile? 887 00:56:08,433 --> 00:56:12,169 No, not yet. But you know me, I'll probably just wimp out. 888 00:56:12,202 --> 00:56:13,738 I mean, you don't have to. 889 00:56:14,204 --> 00:56:16,674 Yeah, I know. 890 00:56:16,707 --> 00:56:18,843 Are you okay? I mean, you sound a little weird. 891 00:56:19,444 --> 00:56:20,878 I'm fine. 892 00:56:21,879 --> 00:56:24,582 I'm fine. I just wanted to call and say hello. 893 00:56:24,615 --> 00:56:29,454 Thanks, but you don't need to check in. I mean, go, have fun. 894 00:56:29,487 --> 00:56:31,556 That's what this weekend's all about. 895 00:56:33,023 --> 00:56:34,124 You're the greatest. 896 00:56:40,230 --> 00:56:41,966 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 897 00:56:46,236 --> 00:56:47,805 Erik Stifler. 898 00:56:51,609 --> 00:56:53,978 Hey, Mr. Levenstein. Hello, Erik, good to see you. 899 00:56:54,011 --> 00:56:57,582 Yeah. Wow, I haven't seen you since my parents' New Year's party, right? 900 00:56:57,615 --> 00:57:01,619 Yes, well, your folks really, really know how to ring in the new year. 901 00:57:01,652 --> 00:57:05,590 Look, I'm sorry about my dad giving you that wedgie in front of everybody. 902 00:57:05,623 --> 00:57:08,893 Well, your dad's been doing that to me since we were kids, 903 00:57:08,926 --> 00:57:11,061 and strangely enough, I enjoy it. 904 00:57:14,565 --> 00:57:16,834 So, what are you doing up here? 905 00:57:17,935 --> 00:57:20,838 Oh, well, I went to school here 906 00:57:20,871 --> 00:57:24,909 and, you know, I like to come back every now and then 907 00:57:24,942 --> 00:57:26,343 and check out the campus. 908 00:57:26,376 --> 00:57:30,881 That's the only reason I'm here. No other reason that I can think of. 909 00:57:30,915 --> 00:57:34,051 And what about you? What are you doing here? 910 00:57:34,084 --> 00:57:36,220 Actually, it's kind of personal. 911 00:57:36,253 --> 00:57:38,523 Oh. Well, say no more. Okay. 912 00:57:38,556 --> 00:57:39,824 Okay, listen, good seeing you. 913 00:57:39,857 --> 00:57:41,659 Yeah, for sure. 914 00:57:47,632 --> 00:57:50,034 Mr. Levenstein, you were a counselor 915 00:57:50,067 --> 00:57:52,603 at Tall Oaks Band Camp with my cousin, Matt, right? 916 00:57:52,637 --> 00:57:55,840 Yes. Yes, I was. And your cousin Matt needed some counseling... 917 00:57:55,873 --> 00:57:59,644 Yeah. ...I might add. I gave him some advice. 918 00:57:59,677 --> 00:58:02,547 Advice. Do you think I could 919 00:58:05,015 --> 00:58:07,552 confide something in you? 920 00:58:07,585 --> 00:58:10,220 Well, sure. Yes, Erik, anything. Anything. 921 00:58:10,254 --> 00:58:11,255 Okay. 922 00:58:12,289 --> 00:58:13,624 I'm a virgin. 923 00:58:13,658 --> 00:58:14,725 Okay, can I stop you there? 924 00:58:14,759 --> 00:58:17,995 You're a Stifler and a virgin? 925 00:58:19,597 --> 00:58:20,598 Yeah. 926 00:58:22,767 --> 00:58:27,004 Well, so you're a virgin. What's the big deal? 927 00:58:27,037 --> 00:58:31,275 Well, the other night, my girlfriend and I... We tried to, you know... 928 00:58:33,578 --> 00:58:37,214 Right. But her father came down before we had the chance to. 929 00:58:37,247 --> 00:58:39,316 So she changed her mind completely about the sex, 930 00:58:39,349 --> 00:58:42,553 but she gave me a guilt-free pass for the weekend. 931 00:58:42,587 --> 00:58:44,822 You got the guilt-free pass? 932 00:58:46,591 --> 00:58:48,659 What do you mean? 933 00:58:48,693 --> 00:58:53,598 Well, I mean, you've got the old guilt-free pass dilemma. 934 00:58:53,631 --> 00:58:55,332 Yeah. It's a tough one. 935 00:58:55,365 --> 00:58:57,902 I didn't think people your age knew about that kind of stuff. 936 00:58:57,935 --> 00:59:00,771 I believe I know more about this than you think. 937 00:59:02,673 --> 00:59:05,309 Good, because I just don't know what to do here. 938 00:59:05,342 --> 00:59:08,946 I mean, I've got this smoking-hot sorority girl all over me. 939 00:59:10,014 --> 00:59:13,317 Well, you know, my son Jim 940 00:59:13,350 --> 00:59:15,686 went through kind of a similar dilemma. 941 00:59:15,720 --> 00:59:17,588 He was going out with this very attractive 942 00:59:17,622 --> 00:59:19,690 foreign-exchange student named Nadia. 943 00:59:19,724 --> 00:59:23,060 Right, right, yeah. That's the one he blew his load too early with, right? 944 00:59:23,093 --> 00:59:24,328 Yes. Twice. 945 00:59:24,361 --> 00:59:25,830 Yes. Over the Internet. 946 00:59:25,863 --> 00:59:27,732 Yes, that's the one. Yeah. 947 00:59:27,765 --> 00:59:30,835 Well, blowing loads aside... 948 00:59:30,868 --> 00:59:32,269 Yeah. 949 00:59:32,302 --> 00:59:34,739 The next summer Nadia came to visit Jim at the beach, 950 00:59:34,772 --> 00:59:35,940 and he turned her down 951 00:59:35,973 --> 00:59:40,678 because he had fallen in love with Michelle, 952 00:59:40,711 --> 00:59:45,650 who he later married, and is now the mother of my grandchild. 953 00:59:45,683 --> 00:59:49,820 So you're saying I shouldn't hook up with this sorority girl? 954 00:59:49,854 --> 00:59:52,823 I'm saying I think only you know the answer to that, Erik. 955 00:59:55,760 --> 00:59:56,827 Well, gotta run. 956 01:00:00,364 --> 01:00:03,734 Oh, Erik, I was sorry to hear about your grandmother. 957 01:00:22,753 --> 01:00:24,655 Last night was amazing. 958 01:00:25,355 --> 01:00:27,424 Yeah, it was. 959 01:00:27,457 --> 01:00:30,795 The three of us should do it again sometime. 960 01:00:30,828 --> 01:00:31,896 Definitely. 961 01:00:34,198 --> 01:00:35,733 Definitely. 962 01:00:42,973 --> 01:00:46,877 Hey, buddy. You know how to get to Murray Street? 963 01:00:46,911 --> 01:00:50,047 Oh, yeah, man. Just go right down Maryland, down to... 964 01:00:50,848 --> 01:00:52,082 What the... 965 01:00:54,284 --> 01:00:55,452 What is this? Enter the Midget? 966 01:00:55,485 --> 01:00:58,322 It's little people, asshole. 967 01:01:00,024 --> 01:01:01,692 Come get some. 968 01:01:02,492 --> 01:01:04,929 Come get some, baby! 969 01:01:05,730 --> 01:01:07,164 (SCREAMING) 970 01:01:13,303 --> 01:01:15,706 (PANTING) 971 01:01:15,740 --> 01:01:17,407 Midgets jumped Stifler. 972 01:01:17,441 --> 01:01:18,776 What? What? 973 01:01:19,744 --> 01:01:22,246 The midgets jumped Stifler. 974 01:01:22,279 --> 01:01:23,781 He's in the hospital right now. 975 01:01:28,886 --> 01:01:30,087 Oh, shit. 976 01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:31,822 Holy shit. 977 01:01:33,057 --> 01:01:34,959 Man, he is fucked up. 978 01:01:35,893 --> 01:01:37,494 First Grandma, and now this. 979 01:01:37,527 --> 01:01:38,929 All right, we gotta get those fucking midgets. 980 01:01:38,963 --> 01:01:40,330 Yeah, man. 981 01:01:40,364 --> 01:01:43,801 Jesus, Ryan, keep it down, will you? I got a huge fucking headache. 982 01:01:43,834 --> 01:01:45,836 We thought this guy was you. 983 01:01:46,937 --> 01:01:47,805 Fuck, no. 984 01:01:49,139 --> 01:01:50,240 I don't know what happened to that pussy. 985 01:01:51,408 --> 01:01:53,377 Hey, man, what the hell happened? 986 01:01:53,410 --> 01:01:57,181 Rock and his boys jumped me, wearing all black and ski masks. 987 01:01:57,214 --> 01:01:58,448 Like I wouldn't know it was them. 988 01:01:58,482 --> 01:02:01,919 Are you all right? Are you gonna be able to run in the Mile? 989 01:02:01,952 --> 01:02:04,188 Doesn't look like it. 990 01:02:04,221 --> 01:02:07,792 Doc says the Stif-man's gonna be laid up for at least a couple of more days. 991 01:02:07,825 --> 01:02:10,060 Hey, don't worry. We will find those little fuckers. 992 01:02:10,094 --> 01:02:15,432 No. I appreciate it, okay? Stifler'll think of something. 993 01:02:15,465 --> 01:02:19,003 Now you guys are up here to do two things: Have fun, 994 01:02:19,036 --> 01:02:21,171 and run naked 995 01:02:21,205 --> 01:02:25,209 with hundreds of hot, big-breasted, horny women. 996 01:02:25,242 --> 01:02:26,310 You understand? 997 01:02:26,343 --> 01:02:27,577 Yeah. Yeah. 998 01:02:27,611 --> 01:02:31,281 Good. Now get the fuck out of here so I can get some sleep. 999 01:02:36,586 --> 01:02:39,023 Hey, Erik, stick around for a second. 1000 01:02:39,056 --> 01:02:39,890 Yeah. 1001 01:02:41,291 --> 01:02:44,194 Listen, I know what you're going through. 1002 01:02:44,228 --> 01:02:47,431 You do? Sure, yeah. I had the same problem 1003 01:02:47,464 --> 01:02:50,167 when I was in middle school. 1004 01:02:50,200 --> 01:02:53,437 But living up to the family name is not an easy thing, man. 1005 01:02:53,470 --> 01:02:55,973 Yeah. What did you do? 1006 01:02:58,375 --> 01:03:01,812 Well, I whipped out my dick in class, stole the principal's car, 1007 01:03:01,846 --> 01:03:03,380 and then I fucked a lunch lady. 1008 01:03:03,948 --> 01:03:05,515 Oh. 1009 01:03:05,549 --> 01:03:06,951 But, hey, that's me. 1010 01:03:08,018 --> 01:03:10,320 What do you think I should do? 1011 01:03:10,354 --> 01:03:15,092 It's not for me to decide or advise. You gotta figure that out on your own. 1012 01:03:15,125 --> 01:03:19,329 But I will say this. We got a pretty fucked-up family, 1013 01:03:19,363 --> 01:03:21,798 and it's nice having a guy like you around. 1014 01:03:25,402 --> 01:03:27,004 Now, seriously, go. 1015 01:03:31,375 --> 01:03:32,977 (STUDENTS CHATTERING) 1016 01:03:38,215 --> 01:03:40,150 All I have to say is, 1017 01:03:40,184 --> 01:03:43,553 thank you, Dad, for getting my dumb ass into this school. 1018 01:03:49,593 --> 01:03:52,829 Gentlemen, we have officially arrived at our destination. 1019 01:04:03,307 --> 01:04:06,010 ROCK: Look who decided to show up. 1020 01:04:06,043 --> 01:04:08,012 I didn't think you guys would have the balls for this. 1021 01:04:08,045 --> 01:04:09,346 I guess I was right. 1022 01:04:09,379 --> 01:04:12,616 Check it out. They still got their clothes on. 1023 01:04:15,953 --> 01:04:20,857 Where is old Shitler? I guess the king of the Naked Mile didn't make it this year. 1024 01:04:21,959 --> 01:04:24,929 Nobody starts this fucking Naked Mile without me! 1025 01:04:25,595 --> 01:04:27,097 (ALL CHEERING) 1026 01:04:37,374 --> 01:04:41,278 The king has arrived! Bring out your titties! 1027 01:04:45,049 --> 01:04:48,518 You really think that little beating you gave me could keep me away? 1028 01:04:48,552 --> 01:04:51,421 You and the Lollypop Guild punch like a bunch of five-year-olds. 1029 01:04:51,455 --> 01:04:54,224 This is my fucking school. 1030 01:04:57,561 --> 01:04:59,997 Guys. 1031 01:05:00,030 --> 01:05:02,967 Right, screw those guys. We're here to have fun, right? 1032 01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:05,402 Oh, fucking-A-right, we're here to have some fun. 1033 01:05:06,971 --> 01:05:11,075 Hey, why the hell do you guys still have your clothes on? 1034 01:05:11,108 --> 01:05:13,077 Listen, Stifler, we were talking and... 1035 01:05:13,110 --> 01:05:14,911 Hey, Stifler. I like your IVs. 1036 01:05:16,981 --> 01:05:18,215 DWIGHT: Hello, ladies. 1037 01:05:19,416 --> 01:05:21,952 Looking sexy as always. 1038 01:05:21,986 --> 01:05:24,021 Heard you were in the hospital. 1039 01:05:24,054 --> 01:05:26,423 Just a little beating by a bunch of midgets. 1040 01:05:26,456 --> 01:05:28,058 Hey, Cooze. 1041 01:05:28,092 --> 01:05:32,029 Jill the Thrill. Back on the Cooze radar. 1042 01:05:32,596 --> 01:05:34,965 (IMITATING RADAR BEEPING) 1043 01:05:36,433 --> 01:05:37,634 Hey, Erik. 1044 01:05:38,468 --> 01:05:39,603 Hey, Brandy. 1045 01:05:39,636 --> 01:05:41,571 Ryan. Alexis. 1046 01:05:41,605 --> 01:05:44,041 So, you ladies ready to run this Mile 1047 01:05:44,074 --> 01:05:47,244 and get extra fucking sexy? 1048 01:05:47,277 --> 01:05:48,545 Hell, yeah! Hell, yeah! 1049 01:05:48,578 --> 01:05:50,047 What about you guys? 1050 01:05:50,080 --> 01:05:52,349 Yeah, what are you guys doing still dressed? 1051 01:05:52,382 --> 01:05:54,551 Well, we figured we'd just watch the Mile 1052 01:05:54,584 --> 01:05:56,220 and then meet you guys at the party afterwards. 1053 01:05:56,253 --> 01:06:00,124 That's too bad 'cause this Naked Mile is gonna be crazy. 1054 01:06:00,157 --> 01:06:02,359 Really crazy. Right, Brandy? 1055 01:06:02,392 --> 01:06:04,061 Absolutely out of control. 1056 01:06:21,211 --> 01:06:24,181 Yeah! That's what I'm fucking talking about, boys. 1057 01:06:24,214 --> 01:06:27,651 Set the cocks free! 1058 01:06:27,684 --> 01:06:30,120 Let's huddle up over here. Come on, fellas. 1059 01:06:31,188 --> 01:06:32,522 Cock huddle. 1060 01:06:32,556 --> 01:06:34,424 All right, bitch tits. 1061 01:06:34,458 --> 01:06:36,493 I got a little surprise for you fuckers. 1062 01:06:36,526 --> 01:06:37,661 What do you got? 1063 01:06:39,129 --> 01:06:41,998 Just a little pharmaceutical delight for later. 1064 01:06:43,300 --> 01:06:46,070 JACKSON: Stifler! You uncircumcised twat! 1065 01:06:46,103 --> 01:06:48,372 Jackson, you little-dicked motherfucker. 1066 01:06:48,405 --> 01:06:49,706 What is this? 1067 01:06:49,739 --> 01:06:50,774 It looks like some kind of E. 1068 01:06:50,807 --> 01:06:53,477 Should we take it now? He said save it for later. 1069 01:06:53,510 --> 01:06:56,146 Fuck that! I'm about to run naked through the streets. 1070 01:06:56,180 --> 01:06:58,115 I need all the drug-induced courage I can get. 1071 01:07:01,085 --> 01:07:02,419 I'm so glad you guys decided to run. 1072 01:07:02,452 --> 01:07:04,521 You must work out. 1073 01:07:04,554 --> 01:07:06,523 Yeah, well, I play football. 1074 01:07:06,556 --> 01:07:09,093 I love football players. 1075 01:07:09,126 --> 01:07:11,128 Did anybody ever tell you that you have a nice ass? 1076 01:07:12,096 --> 01:07:13,530 That guy's a prick! 1077 01:07:13,563 --> 01:07:15,832 Hey, Stifler, is this supposed to be some pretty good E? 1078 01:07:15,865 --> 01:07:17,767 What E? 1079 01:07:17,801 --> 01:07:19,569 The pills you gave us. 1080 01:07:20,437 --> 01:07:22,572 Oh, shit! You retards. 1081 01:07:22,606 --> 01:07:25,709 That's not E. It's that fucking four-hour hard-on drug. 1082 01:07:25,742 --> 01:07:27,644 Oh, shit. DWIGHT: I scored some at the hospital. 1083 01:07:27,677 --> 01:07:30,380 I thought you limp-dicked bitches could use some. 1084 01:07:30,414 --> 01:07:32,149 Oh, God. Holy fuck, you didn't... 1085 01:07:32,182 --> 01:07:34,518 Holy shit! 1086 01:07:34,551 --> 01:07:38,722 I don't think I can talk this one down, man. It's got a mind of its own. 1087 01:07:38,755 --> 01:07:41,858 Hey, do not run behind me. Okay? 1088 01:07:41,891 --> 01:07:44,494 It's... It's just that we thought that it was... 1089 01:07:44,528 --> 01:07:47,131 Honey, don't apologize. 1090 01:07:47,164 --> 01:07:49,199 Yeah, you guys are running with us. 1091 01:07:49,233 --> 01:07:53,437 Oh, man! This is going to be the best Naked Mile ever! 1092 01:07:53,470 --> 01:07:54,871 Good evening... 1093 01:07:54,904 --> 01:07:56,840 (FEEDBACK SCREECHING) 1094 01:07:57,274 --> 01:07:58,842 (BEEPING) 1095 01:07:58,875 --> 01:08:00,177 Who is that guy? 1096 01:08:00,210 --> 01:08:04,881 That is big, bad Noah Levenstein. 1097 01:08:04,914 --> 01:08:09,253 The craziest bastard this campus has ever known. 1098 01:08:09,286 --> 01:08:10,487 My bad. My bad. Welcome to the Naked Mile. 1099 01:08:10,520 --> 01:08:12,122 (ALL CHEERING) 1100 01:08:16,293 --> 01:08:19,163 Yes, you know, when I started this race many, many... 1101 01:08:19,196 --> 01:08:21,231 Christ, he started this whole thing back in the '60s. 1102 01:08:21,265 --> 01:08:24,534 ...many years ago. It was just... Just a passive protest. 1103 01:08:24,568 --> 01:08:28,505 Just a way to "stick it to the man," so to speak. 1104 01:08:29,939 --> 01:08:32,576 Right on. Right on. 1105 01:08:32,609 --> 01:08:36,413 But over the years, it's become somewhat less political. 1106 01:08:36,446 --> 01:08:39,649 And now, it's just 1107 01:08:39,683 --> 01:08:42,852 some sort of Roman orgy, 1108 01:08:42,886 --> 01:08:45,855 which I'm down with, by the way. 1109 01:08:45,889 --> 01:08:48,525 But let's keep one thing in mind. 1110 01:08:48,558 --> 01:08:53,363 This is about showing the world your youthful exuberance, 1111 01:08:53,397 --> 01:08:56,733 and your unabashed commitment to higher learning, 1112 01:08:56,766 --> 01:08:59,303 and having fun while you're doing it, 1113 01:08:59,336 --> 01:09:03,173 which is where the naked part comes in. 1114 01:09:03,207 --> 01:09:04,841 ALL: Yeah! 1115 01:09:09,213 --> 01:09:11,881 And being completely naked is, of course, 1116 01:09:11,915 --> 01:09:14,184 a perfectly natural thing. 1117 01:09:14,218 --> 01:09:17,854 There's not one part of one's body 1118 01:09:17,887 --> 01:09:20,224 one should be ashamed of, 1119 01:09:20,257 --> 01:09:25,195 be it one's pubic region 1120 01:09:25,229 --> 01:09:27,764 or one's breasts, 1121 01:09:27,797 --> 01:09:30,200 as in the case with you young ladies... 1122 01:09:30,234 --> 01:09:31,701 (ALL CHEERING) 1123 01:09:34,538 --> 01:09:37,807 ...and a couple of you young men. 1124 01:09:40,377 --> 01:09:43,847 But you should all just revel in the glory of being seen 1125 01:09:43,880 --> 01:09:46,250 as the people you are. 1126 01:09:46,283 --> 01:09:47,751 Incidentally, if anyone has anything... 1127 01:09:47,784 --> 01:09:49,786 Come on, let's fucking do this! 1128 01:09:53,290 --> 01:09:55,325 I second that motion, young man. 1129 01:09:55,359 --> 01:09:57,827 Okay, everybody ready. 1130 01:09:59,929 --> 01:10:01,565 Get set... 1131 01:10:31,328 --> 01:10:32,662 Still going? 1132 01:10:32,696 --> 01:10:34,598 You know it, baby. Hell, yeah! 1133 01:10:35,599 --> 01:10:37,467 You love the Boss Hogg! 1134 01:10:39,303 --> 01:10:40,937 (WHOOPING) 1135 01:10:54,718 --> 01:10:58,355 All right, yeah. Look at this. Look at all these teats. 1136 01:10:58,388 --> 01:11:02,326 I'm adrift in a sea of boobies, and my balls are scraping the pavement. 1137 01:11:02,359 --> 01:11:03,427 Oh, heads up. 1138 01:11:07,631 --> 01:11:09,466 Look, it's the boner guys! 1139 01:11:10,567 --> 01:11:12,436 Nice cocks. 1140 01:11:12,469 --> 01:11:14,504 Oh, you got that right, sexy. 1141 01:11:14,538 --> 01:11:16,440 Dude, you have serious issues. 1142 01:11:59,449 --> 01:12:01,685 Hey, naked people only! 1143 01:12:01,718 --> 01:12:03,019 (LAUGHING) 1144 01:12:35,885 --> 01:12:37,554 Are you all right? 1145 01:12:37,587 --> 01:12:39,423 I'm fine. 1146 01:12:39,456 --> 01:12:41,391 Come on, sweetie. Let's finish this thing. 1147 01:12:51,568 --> 01:12:54,438 I'm standing at the finish line of a very proud, but strange tradition 1148 01:12:54,471 --> 01:12:55,839 called the Naked Mile. 1149 01:12:55,872 --> 01:12:57,407 Ever year after exams 1150 01:12:57,441 --> 01:12:59,943 hundreds of students run a mile through campus 1151 01:12:59,976 --> 01:13:01,778 in nothing more than their birthday suits. 1152 01:13:03,179 --> 01:13:04,981 (LAUGHING) 1153 01:13:06,115 --> 01:13:09,453 This is the greatest thing ever! 1154 01:13:09,486 --> 01:13:11,488 Hell, yeah! We did it! 1155 01:13:11,521 --> 01:13:13,690 I can't believe we did this! 1156 01:13:13,723 --> 01:13:17,527 Yeah! Naked Mile, baby! 1157 01:13:17,561 --> 01:13:19,596 Beta House fucking rules! 1158 01:13:26,636 --> 01:13:30,507 Come on, marathon men. Let's get ready for the party. 1159 01:13:32,041 --> 01:13:33,810 I did it. I really did it. 1160 01:13:35,912 --> 01:13:38,648 Way to go, Coz. That's my cousin. 1161 01:13:42,952 --> 01:13:45,154 Some people call it lewd behavior, 1162 01:13:45,188 --> 01:13:48,057 but the students say it's just a good way to blow off steam. 1163 01:13:48,091 --> 01:13:48,992 And maybe, 1164 01:13:53,597 --> 01:13:55,231 find love. 1165 01:13:55,264 --> 01:13:57,467 This is Hal Michaels, reporting from the Naked Mile. 1166 01:14:08,612 --> 01:14:10,446 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 1167 01:14:33,903 --> 01:14:36,740 Stifler has arrived! 1168 01:14:43,613 --> 01:14:45,081 (HOWLING) 1169 01:14:45,749 --> 01:14:47,651 Yeah! Yeah! 1170 01:14:49,018 --> 01:14:51,621 Holy shit! Is this even the same house? 1171 01:14:56,059 --> 01:14:59,028 I think I had a wet dream that started like this. 1172 01:14:59,062 --> 01:15:00,096 It's those guys. 1173 01:15:05,334 --> 01:15:06,836 And ended like that. 1174 01:15:06,870 --> 01:15:08,271 Wow, taking those pills 1175 01:15:08,304 --> 01:15:11,207 might just be the best thing you guys ever did for your social lives. 1176 01:15:11,240 --> 01:15:12,909 Oh, yeah. 1177 01:15:12,942 --> 01:15:14,978 You wanna dance? 1178 01:15:15,011 --> 01:15:18,314 Is my dick hard? Of course the Cooze wants to dance. 1179 01:15:18,347 --> 01:15:19,749 (SCREAMS) 1180 01:15:21,585 --> 01:15:23,152 Are you gonna dance, sexy? 1181 01:15:23,186 --> 01:15:25,321 Or are you one of those football players who's too cool to dance? 1182 01:15:25,354 --> 01:15:28,558 Oh, baby, they don't call me the White Shadow for nothing. 1183 01:15:34,263 --> 01:15:35,732 Come on, cutie. 1184 01:15:36,633 --> 01:15:38,001 What a bastard. 1185 01:15:38,034 --> 01:15:41,605 I told you to call off that stupid guilt-free pass. 1186 01:15:41,638 --> 01:15:44,040 I'm so sorry, honey. 1187 01:15:44,073 --> 01:15:46,610 Is there anything we can do for you? 1188 01:15:46,643 --> 01:15:48,745 No, I think I just want to be alone. 1189 01:15:48,778 --> 01:15:52,048 No way. We are not leaving you alone so you can beat yourself up. 1190 01:15:52,081 --> 01:15:54,918 Yeah, but I told him to do it. I mean, I can't get mad about it now. 1191 01:15:54,951 --> 01:15:57,987 Would you quit being so logical, Tracy? We're girls. 1192 01:15:58,021 --> 01:16:00,123 Boys should know better than to trust us to be rational. 1193 01:16:00,156 --> 01:16:01,324 It's not in our nature. 1194 01:16:01,357 --> 01:16:02,992 It's really not. 1195 01:16:03,026 --> 01:16:06,763 So, you are going to get dressed. 1196 01:16:06,796 --> 01:16:09,232 Then, we're going to Allison's party. 1197 01:16:09,265 --> 01:16:11,367 That will get your mind off of Erik. 1198 01:16:11,400 --> 01:16:13,603 I don't want to. 1199 01:16:13,637 --> 01:16:16,773 Well, you don't have a vote in this. Now get dressed. 1200 01:16:29,252 --> 01:16:32,388 Check out our boy. Think he's going to lose it tonight? 1201 01:16:32,421 --> 01:16:36,325 Nope. Bet he screws it up and ends up jerking off in the bathroom. 1202 01:16:36,359 --> 01:16:37,994 I'll bet 20 bucks says he nails her. 1203 01:16:38,027 --> 01:16:39,095 (SCOFFS) 1204 01:16:39,128 --> 01:16:40,163 Oh, you're on. 1205 01:16:43,700 --> 01:16:46,002 Hey, hard-on brothers. 1206 01:16:46,035 --> 01:16:49,372 Do you guys have any idea how much everybody here has been talking about you? 1207 01:16:49,405 --> 01:16:51,007 I was getting that feeling. 1208 01:16:51,040 --> 01:16:51,941 Yeah! 1209 01:16:53,209 --> 01:16:55,645 Okay, listen up, 'cause I got a plan 1210 01:16:55,679 --> 01:16:59,615 that's gonna make you guys legends. 1211 01:17:05,855 --> 01:17:08,157 Ladies and gentlemen! 1212 01:17:08,191 --> 01:17:12,729 Give a big Beta House welcome to Ryan "Steel Rod" Grimm 1213 01:17:12,762 --> 01:17:17,400 and Mike "Everhard" Coozeman! 1214 01:17:17,433 --> 01:17:19,402 Yeah, Cooze! 1215 01:17:19,435 --> 01:17:20,804 (ALL CHEERING) 1216 01:17:23,406 --> 01:17:27,043 Tonight is the dawning of a new era 1217 01:17:27,076 --> 01:17:29,245 in meaningless male competition. 1218 01:17:29,278 --> 01:17:33,817 The Heavyweight Hard-On Championship of the World! 1219 01:17:39,255 --> 01:17:41,925 For the first phase of the competition, 1220 01:17:41,958 --> 01:17:45,695 a bucket will be hung on the dong of each of our contestants. 1221 01:17:45,729 --> 01:17:48,998 That bucket will be filled with a pitcher of beer. 1222 01:17:49,032 --> 01:17:52,836 First person to drop the bucket is the loser. 1223 01:17:52,869 --> 01:17:54,804 (ALL BOOING) 1224 01:17:54,838 --> 01:17:56,706 So let the penis games begin! 1225 01:18:08,451 --> 01:18:11,821 Commence the pouring! 1226 01:18:17,861 --> 01:18:19,095 You like that? 1227 01:18:19,128 --> 01:18:20,463 Oh, yeah, baby! 1228 01:18:22,766 --> 01:18:24,100 (GROANING) 1229 01:18:36,012 --> 01:18:39,115 Oh, I am so sorry about that! 1230 01:18:43,086 --> 01:18:44,320 Still good. 1231 01:19:01,570 --> 01:19:03,940 Next competition. 1232 01:19:06,442 --> 01:19:08,812 The ring toss. 1233 01:19:08,845 --> 01:19:10,914 Let's have it, girls. Come on. 1234 01:19:15,251 --> 01:19:17,553 That's right! On that penis! 1235 01:19:17,586 --> 01:19:19,823 Come on, baby, just like Six Flags. 1236 01:19:22,892 --> 01:19:23,960 Wrong head! 1237 01:19:28,564 --> 01:19:30,133 Ring around the cocksy. 1238 01:19:32,301 --> 01:19:34,270 You needed an extra inch on that one. 1239 01:19:44,213 --> 01:19:45,849 Can you believe this? 1240 01:19:46,549 --> 01:19:48,117 Do not let Cooze win. 1241 01:19:52,956 --> 01:19:54,924 Next competition! 1242 01:20:01,130 --> 01:20:03,900 I got a nine-inch strike zone, baby. 1243 01:20:03,933 --> 01:20:05,935 You cocky prick. You can't miss it! 1244 01:20:11,908 --> 01:20:13,576 It's a hardball, son! 1245 01:20:13,609 --> 01:20:14,944 Hey, boner, boner, boner. 1246 01:20:15,344 --> 01:20:16,612 Swing, boner! 1247 01:20:16,645 --> 01:20:18,314 Deep center, baby! 1248 01:20:24,187 --> 01:20:25,821 Foul ball! 1249 01:20:40,069 --> 01:20:40,904 Bunt. 1250 01:20:51,948 --> 01:20:54,951 That is it. We're calling it a tie. 1251 01:20:54,984 --> 01:20:57,386 Your Co-Hard-on Champions of the World, 1252 01:20:57,420 --> 01:21:01,324 Ryan "Steel Rod" Grimm and Mike "Everhard" Coozeman! 1253 01:21:01,357 --> 01:21:02,926 (ALL CHEERING) 1254 01:21:17,974 --> 01:21:22,245 Fifty-six, fifty-seven, fifty-eight, fifty-nine... 1255 01:22:49,132 --> 01:22:51,034 BROOKE: Boys are a bad influence. 1256 01:22:51,067 --> 01:22:54,070 I mean, you have no idea what he's doing or who he's doing it with. 1257 01:22:54,103 --> 01:22:57,240 This guilt-free pass thing? Completely ridiculous. 1258 01:22:57,273 --> 01:23:01,144 The bottom line is this. You two will never be on the same level again. 1259 01:23:01,177 --> 01:23:05,114 You're a virgin and he's not. It's just not gonna work. 1260 01:23:05,148 --> 01:23:07,183 So, what? I'm supposed to break up with him? 1261 01:23:07,216 --> 01:23:10,019 No, but you need to get back on the same level. 1262 01:23:11,387 --> 01:23:14,057 You need to sleep with somebody. Tonight. 1263 01:23:14,090 --> 01:23:16,325 Brooke. Shut up, Natalie. 1264 01:23:16,359 --> 01:23:19,062 It's the only way. Imagine a month from now, 1265 01:23:19,095 --> 01:23:20,696 you decide to do it with Erik. 1266 01:23:20,729 --> 01:23:25,368 All you're going to be thinking is that he's already had sex with some other girl. 1267 01:23:25,401 --> 01:23:28,071 The relationship will not be equal unless you do this. 1268 01:23:28,104 --> 01:23:30,339 Oh, look. There's Trent. 1269 01:23:32,241 --> 01:23:34,143 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 1270 01:23:36,245 --> 01:23:37,313 Perfect. 1271 01:23:48,124 --> 01:23:50,426 Hey, cool. A pool table. Do you play? 1272 01:23:51,794 --> 01:23:53,762 Sometimes. 1273 01:23:53,796 --> 01:23:55,498 Well, what do you want to play? 1274 01:23:55,531 --> 01:23:57,200 I don't care. 1275 01:23:57,233 --> 01:24:01,604 Okay. Well, how about nine-ball? Look, nine-ball. 1276 01:24:01,637 --> 01:24:05,341 It's... It's easy. You just have to get the balls in order from one through nine. 1277 01:24:05,374 --> 01:24:09,812 I'll show you. I'll break right now. You'll be good at it. 1278 01:24:12,415 --> 01:24:14,183 Erik. Yeah. 1279 01:24:14,217 --> 01:24:15,218 (CRASHING) 1280 01:24:16,852 --> 01:24:18,087 Come here. 1281 01:24:33,536 --> 01:24:38,141 This is special to you, right? I mean, this weekend, this night? 1282 01:24:39,175 --> 01:24:40,709 Erik? Yes? 1283 01:24:40,743 --> 01:24:43,146 This is sex, not Shakespeare. 1284 01:24:44,913 --> 01:24:48,184 Are you sure you want to? Because I doubt I'll be very good. 1285 01:24:48,217 --> 01:24:51,120 Don't worry. I know how to handle guys like you. 1286 01:24:52,288 --> 01:24:53,722 Guys like me? 1287 01:24:53,756 --> 01:24:55,591 Virgins. 1288 01:24:55,624 --> 01:24:57,826 I can take care of virgins. 1289 01:24:59,295 --> 01:25:02,265 You mean, I'm not your first virgin? 1290 01:25:02,298 --> 01:25:04,333 I have a bit of a confession. 1291 01:25:05,701 --> 01:25:08,337 Some girls like blonds, some like muscles. 1292 01:25:09,738 --> 01:25:11,174 I like virgins. 1293 01:25:13,776 --> 01:25:16,111 Are you ready for a special night? 1294 01:25:18,347 --> 01:25:20,283 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 1295 01:25:32,561 --> 01:25:36,832 Hey there, beautiful. Didn't expect to see you here tonight. 1296 01:25:36,865 --> 01:25:39,768 I came to apologize. I heard about what happened, 1297 01:25:39,802 --> 01:25:43,239 and I wanted to let you know that I didn't know anything about it. 1298 01:25:43,272 --> 01:25:45,741 You're not just here to set me up? 1299 01:25:45,774 --> 01:25:49,178 I would never want to let anything happen to that gorgeous face. 1300 01:25:51,614 --> 01:25:55,251 You sure you're supposed to be dancing on enemy territory like this? 1301 01:25:55,284 --> 01:25:58,887 I dance where I want, with who I want. 1302 01:26:00,456 --> 01:26:02,258 I like your style. 1303 01:26:03,992 --> 01:26:05,828 And your ass. 1304 01:26:19,375 --> 01:26:21,710 You know, I don't usually go for 1305 01:26:21,744 --> 01:26:24,813 suburban, jock, Abercrombie clones, 1306 01:26:24,847 --> 01:26:27,716 but there is something about you. Yeah? 1307 01:26:27,750 --> 01:26:31,254 Well, I tend to have that effect on pacifist, vegan bisexuals. 1308 01:26:42,298 --> 01:26:45,368 This guy's got good taste. 1309 01:26:45,401 --> 01:26:48,404 You sure you're up for this after that little incident downstairs? 1310 01:26:48,437 --> 01:26:53,242 They don't call me "Everhard" because I've only got one bullet in the chamber. 1311 01:26:53,276 --> 01:26:55,544 But just to be sure... 1312 01:26:55,578 --> 01:26:57,846 Should you be taking more of that? 1313 01:26:57,880 --> 01:27:01,350 More? I didn't take it the first time. 1314 01:27:03,552 --> 01:27:05,821 You mean... That's right, baby. 1315 01:27:05,854 --> 01:27:08,357 We're gonna have a good time tonight. 1316 01:27:10,293 --> 01:27:14,797 Now get your worthless ass on the bed, you peasant. 1317 01:27:15,698 --> 01:27:17,400 Excuse me? 1318 01:27:17,433 --> 01:27:19,268 I said, get on the bed 1319 01:27:19,302 --> 01:27:22,405 you worthless peasant! 1320 01:27:22,438 --> 01:27:25,341 What is your problem? Whoa, what's that? What... 1321 01:27:25,374 --> 01:27:28,277 Oh, God! I said, get on the bed, 1322 01:27:28,944 --> 01:27:30,846 and I meant it. 1323 01:27:32,515 --> 01:27:35,884 Oh, yeah, baby. I get it. 1324 01:27:37,320 --> 01:27:38,721 And I'm into it. 1325 01:27:39,522 --> 01:27:41,056 Shut up! 1326 01:27:41,089 --> 01:27:42,625 (SCREAMING) 1327 01:27:44,393 --> 01:27:46,595 All right! All right! All right! 1328 01:28:04,480 --> 01:28:05,881 Brandy. 1329 01:28:07,416 --> 01:28:11,420 Look, I can't do this. I'm really sorry, okay? 1330 01:28:11,454 --> 01:28:13,556 I mean, you're really gorgeous and really cool, 1331 01:28:13,589 --> 01:28:16,058 and I'm sure that every single guy on this planet 1332 01:28:16,091 --> 01:28:19,362 would love to sleep with you, including me. 1333 01:28:19,395 --> 01:28:20,796 But I just can't. 1334 01:28:23,065 --> 01:28:24,333 I'm in love. 1335 01:28:27,936 --> 01:28:30,706 I hope this girl knows how lucky she is. 1336 01:28:30,739 --> 01:28:32,307 I seriously doubt that. 1337 01:28:43,752 --> 01:28:46,655 Got to say it again. It's a very nice surprise. 1338 01:28:47,923 --> 01:28:49,425 What can I say? I'm full of them. 1339 01:28:49,458 --> 01:28:50,726 So, what about Erik? 1340 01:28:51,894 --> 01:28:54,597 We're on a weekend guilt-free pass. 1341 01:28:54,630 --> 01:28:57,533 We can do anything we want. 1342 01:28:57,566 --> 01:28:59,535 Anything? 1343 01:28:59,568 --> 01:29:00,636 Anything. 1344 01:29:00,669 --> 01:29:01,937 I like the sound of that. 1345 01:29:19,021 --> 01:29:20,155 Is this your room? 1346 01:29:20,188 --> 01:29:22,991 Why, yes, it is, my diminutive goddess. 1347 01:29:24,593 --> 01:29:28,531 Good, because we are going to need 1348 01:29:28,564 --> 01:29:29,932 a little bit of privacy. 1349 01:29:34,637 --> 01:29:36,472 (MOANING) 1350 01:29:41,143 --> 01:29:45,548 That's it, you pathetic slave. Keep doing that. 1351 01:29:45,581 --> 01:29:48,016 Don't you think this is getting a little out of hand? 1352 01:29:48,050 --> 01:29:50,853 Oh, you haven't even seen "out of hand" yet. 1353 01:29:50,886 --> 01:29:52,821 I didn't mean we had to stop. 1354 01:29:52,855 --> 01:29:56,425 Oh, we're not stopping. We're just getting started. 1355 01:29:57,560 --> 01:29:59,194 You ready to get kinky? 1356 01:29:59,227 --> 01:30:01,430 Whoa, this isn't kinky yet? 1357 01:30:02,465 --> 01:30:03,732 Not even close. 1358 01:30:07,970 --> 01:30:09,672 What is that noise? 1359 01:30:11,774 --> 01:30:12,808 (MOANING) 1360 01:30:15,511 --> 01:30:17,179 (ENGINE SPUTTERING) 1361 01:30:17,212 --> 01:30:18,614 What the hell? 1362 01:30:24,687 --> 01:30:26,722 You got to be kidding me. 1363 01:30:47,576 --> 01:30:48,644 (HORSE SNUFFLING) 1364 01:30:56,218 --> 01:30:58,621 So, you wanna go upstairs? 1365 01:31:01,223 --> 01:31:03,692 Yeah, I do. 1366 01:31:11,600 --> 01:31:12,835 (DOORBELL RINGING) 1367 01:31:16,905 --> 01:31:18,907 (PANTING) 1368 01:31:18,941 --> 01:31:22,611 Hi, Mr. Sterling. Is Tracy home? 1369 01:31:22,645 --> 01:31:24,813 Hello, Erik. No, she's not. 1370 01:31:24,847 --> 01:31:27,716 She's gone to a party with Brooke and Natalie. 1371 01:31:27,750 --> 01:31:28,817 Oh. 1372 01:31:29,852 --> 01:31:32,988 Okay. Well, sorry to disturb you, then. 1373 01:31:33,021 --> 01:31:34,089 Have a good night! 1374 01:31:38,894 --> 01:31:40,629 Crazy little fucker. 1375 01:31:46,101 --> 01:31:48,671 We gotta find Tracy. We gotta find Tracy. 1376 01:31:48,704 --> 01:31:51,740 We gotta find Tracy. Where the fuck is Tracy? 1377 01:31:51,774 --> 01:31:54,910 I don't think sex has to be just one-on-one. 1378 01:31:54,943 --> 01:31:56,078 (HORSE NEIGHING) 1379 01:31:56,111 --> 01:31:57,512 What the hell? 1380 01:31:59,347 --> 01:32:02,250 Tracy! 1381 01:32:03,986 --> 01:32:04,820 Hey! 1382 01:32:08,624 --> 01:32:10,225 Trace! 1383 01:32:10,258 --> 01:32:11,694 What the hell are you doing here? 1384 01:32:11,727 --> 01:32:13,829 And on a horse! 1385 01:32:13,862 --> 01:32:16,164 Where's Tracy? I have to see her. 1386 01:32:16,198 --> 01:32:18,701 We think it's best if you just leave her alone. 1387 01:32:18,734 --> 01:32:20,569 What? Why? 1388 01:32:20,603 --> 01:32:23,572 Because we know about your little sorority slut. 1389 01:32:23,606 --> 01:32:27,776 What are you talking about? She saw you kiss that girl on TV. 1390 01:32:27,810 --> 01:32:31,614 Shit. Wait a second. So what? I was on a guilt-free pass. 1391 01:32:31,647 --> 01:32:33,916 Wake up, Erik. There is no such thing. 1392 01:32:35,183 --> 01:32:36,518 Where is Tracy? 1393 01:32:36,551 --> 01:32:40,155 Oh, we gave Tracy a guilt-free pass, and she's using it right now. 1394 01:32:44,292 --> 01:32:46,294 Tracy! Trace! 1395 01:32:51,133 --> 01:32:54,002 Hey, hey. Tracy Sterling. Have you seen her? 1396 01:32:54,036 --> 01:32:57,005 I think she went upstairs with Trent a little... 1397 01:32:57,305 --> 01:32:58,573 Tracy! 1398 01:33:00,208 --> 01:33:01,710 Tracy. 1399 01:33:06,081 --> 01:33:07,850 (WOMAN MOANING) 1400 01:33:07,883 --> 01:33:11,086 Trace, can you hear me? Are you in there? 1401 01:33:11,119 --> 01:33:13,922 Trace, if you can hear me, I am sorry. 1402 01:33:13,956 --> 01:33:16,224 I am really sorry about everything, okay? 1403 01:33:16,258 --> 01:33:19,695 I know you gave me this pass, but I didn't use it. 1404 01:33:19,728 --> 01:33:22,064 I mean I did use it, but it was only for a few seconds. 1405 01:33:22,097 --> 01:33:25,267 I couldn't go through with it, so I came here looking for you, okay? 1406 01:33:25,300 --> 01:33:29,271 Look, I don't care about the sex. I really don't. 1407 01:33:29,304 --> 01:33:32,708 It's not the most important thing. You are. 1408 01:33:32,741 --> 01:33:34,677 Trace, I love you. 1409 01:33:36,111 --> 01:33:37,846 Can you hear me? I love you! 1410 01:33:37,880 --> 01:33:40,382 Do you mind? I'm trying to get laid here. 1411 01:33:43,719 --> 01:33:45,654 TRACY: You rode a horse for me? 1412 01:33:54,863 --> 01:33:57,966 When I heard her, I thought... 1413 01:33:59,067 --> 01:34:00,769 I couldn't do it, either. 1414 01:34:04,707 --> 01:34:06,108 I love you, too. 1415 01:34:19,822 --> 01:34:21,389 (ALL CHEERING) 1416 01:34:34,069 --> 01:34:35,270 Should we? 1417 01:34:50,452 --> 01:34:52,921 (BIRTHDAY SONG PLAYING) 1418 01:35:28,523 --> 01:35:29,792 (VIBRATOR BUZZING) 1419 01:35:45,373 --> 01:35:47,509 I'm telling you, man. I parked the car right here. 1420 01:35:47,542 --> 01:35:51,179 Well, obviously, you didn't, because then it would be right here. 1421 01:35:52,047 --> 01:35:53,982 Where the hell is Erik? 1422 01:35:54,016 --> 01:35:57,385 Dude, I don't even know where my underwear is. 1423 01:35:59,254 --> 01:36:00,789 Somebody call a taxi? 1424 01:36:00,823 --> 01:36:02,157 Where the fuck did you go? 1425 01:36:02,190 --> 01:36:03,291 To get some breakfast. 1426 01:36:03,325 --> 01:36:05,227 Oh, sweet. I'm starving. 1427 01:36:10,833 --> 01:36:12,868 (GROANING) 1428 01:36:12,901 --> 01:36:14,269 I take it you guys had a good night. 1429 01:36:14,302 --> 01:36:16,371 Oh, completely out of hand, bro. 1430 01:36:16,404 --> 01:36:18,006 Where are the girls? 1431 01:36:18,040 --> 01:36:22,177 They all split this morning. Said they had to drive to State for some big party. 1432 01:36:22,210 --> 01:36:24,046 That must make you feel pretty special. 1433 01:36:24,079 --> 01:36:26,348 "Special"? Who cares about special? 1434 01:36:26,381 --> 01:36:28,583 All I care about is the sex. 1435 01:36:28,616 --> 01:36:32,921 And, baby, I had plenty. Yeah. 1436 01:36:32,955 --> 01:36:36,058 And just how out of hand was this sex, Cooze? 1437 01:36:36,091 --> 01:36:38,293 I don't wanna talk about it. Ever. 1438 01:36:40,929 --> 01:36:45,467 Speaking of which, did you seal the deal with that Brandy chick? 1439 01:36:48,070 --> 01:36:49,437 No. 1440 01:36:49,471 --> 01:36:52,107 I told you. Pay up. 1441 01:36:52,140 --> 01:36:54,943 But I did have sex with Tracy last night. 1442 01:36:59,247 --> 01:37:00,248 What are you talking about? 1443 01:37:00,282 --> 01:37:02,284 Tracy. 1444 01:37:02,317 --> 01:37:04,987 I drove home in the middle of the night, I ran out of gas, 1445 01:37:05,020 --> 01:37:08,090 stole a horse, rode over to Allison's party... 1446 01:37:08,123 --> 01:37:10,425 We had sex in the guest room. Whoa, whoa, whoa! 1447 01:37:10,458 --> 01:37:12,194 You stole a horse? Yup. 1448 01:37:12,227 --> 01:37:14,096 A real horse? Like the kind you ride and shit? 1449 01:37:14,129 --> 01:37:15,898 Yeah, a real horse. 1450 01:37:15,931 --> 01:37:17,099 That's fucking fantastic. 1451 01:37:17,132 --> 01:37:19,101 I didn't think you had the balls for something like that. 1452 01:37:19,134 --> 01:37:21,569 Neither did I. Where did you find a horse? 1453 01:37:21,603 --> 01:37:23,605 Are there horses in Great Falls? 1454 01:37:26,008 --> 01:37:27,175 Proud of you, 1455 01:37:28,110 --> 01:37:29,444 Stifler. 1456 01:37:31,279 --> 01:37:33,949 Thanks, man. I appreciate it. But call me Erik. 1457 01:37:43,258 --> 01:37:45,994 RYAN: So, how do you feel? Best night of my entire life. 1458 01:37:46,028 --> 01:37:48,330 COOZE: See you in a year, college pussy! 1459 01:38:04,446 --> 01:38:06,248 Mail call, bitches. 1460 01:38:07,715 --> 01:38:08,917 Scooter. 1461 01:38:10,085 --> 01:38:11,419 Scratchy. 1462 01:38:12,454 --> 01:38:13,922 Tripod. 1463 01:38:19,094 --> 01:38:20,262 What the hell? 1464 01:38:20,295 --> 01:38:21,663 What is it, man? 1465 01:38:22,597 --> 01:38:23,966 I don't know. 1466 01:38:36,044 --> 01:38:37,946 Smile for the camera, baby. 1467 01:38:46,688 --> 01:38:48,991 Oh, man. That is fucked up. 1468 01:38:52,127 --> 01:38:53,628 Stifler! 1469 01:38:54,462 --> 01:38:55,998 (MY HERO PLAYING) 101336

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