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1
00:00:01,083 --> 00:00:02,416
-who died in the French famine?
-Très tragic.
2
00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:04,708
We need to shit on that vigil.
How do we do that?
3
00:00:04,792 --> 00:00:06,833
-Actors.
-They gotta be sad-looking
4
00:00:06,917 --> 00:00:07,708
and non-union.
5
00:00:07,917 --> 00:00:09,583
Hmm, one thing usually means
the other.
6
00:00:10,333 --> 00:00:13,166
-Where is the real captain?
-He's...
7
00:00:13,375 --> 00:00:15,166
Uh-uh. No.
That's not happening.
8
00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:19,375
We are trapped here
unless I show leadership.
9
00:00:19,458 --> 00:00:20,458
And I need you
10
00:00:20,541 --> 00:00:22,375
-to help me do that.
-Give me one of those.
11
00:00:22,625 --> 00:00:24,416
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
-Yes?
12
00:00:24,500 --> 00:00:25,999
What's the impact on the voyage?
13
00:00:26,208 --> 00:00:28,750
Three years plus six months.
14
00:00:28,958 --> 00:00:30,583
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
-BILLIE MCEVOY: Do you notice
15
00:00:30,667 --> 00:00:33,792
anything about this oddly
good-looking group of people?
16
00:00:34,166 --> 00:00:36,625
They're actors.
Meet your real engineers.
17
00:00:36,708 --> 00:00:38,333
What is this,
a betting syndicate?
18
00:00:38,416 --> 00:00:40,917
Hey, man. Uh... Captain.
19
00:00:48,083 --> 00:00:49,917
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
20
00:00:51,999 --> 00:00:55,041
(RYAN HUMS)
21
00:00:55,124 --> 00:00:58,792
Owner on the bridge.
Everybody, carry on as normal.
22
00:00:58,875 --> 00:00:59,875
Why wouldn't you?
23
00:00:59,958 --> 00:01:02,458
What's going on in here?
Smells tense.
24
00:01:02,541 --> 00:01:04,375
(DANISH ACCENT)
Tense is my middle name.
25
00:01:04,458 --> 00:01:06,166
Tense is my middle name!
26
00:01:08,291 --> 00:01:11,917
(ENGLISH ACCENT)
Oh, bugger. I'm still here.
27
00:01:11,999 --> 00:01:14,375
SPIKE MARTIN:
Captain, I'm gonna get
a gander on some of this stuff,
28
00:01:14,458 --> 00:01:15,708
because I think that--
29
00:01:15,792 --> 00:01:17,541
(AMERICAN ACCENT)
Oh, no! Sorry, can't...
30
00:01:17,625 --> 00:01:20,416
Can't let you see that,
because then I'd have
31
00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:22,249
to sleep with you to find out
what you saw,
32
00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:25,208
-and then kill you. (LAUGHS)
-(LAUGHS) We've all been there!
33
00:01:25,541 --> 00:01:26,750
Oh.
34
00:01:26,833 --> 00:01:28,792
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
35
00:01:32,291 --> 00:01:36,708
Hi. I'm your captain,
Ryan Clark. How are you doing?
36
00:01:36,792 --> 00:01:38,083
(ENGLISH ACCENT)
No, how are you doing?
37
00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:39,416
No, how are you doing?
38
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:40,625
You tell me.
No, you tell me.
39
00:01:40,708 --> 00:01:42,875
You tell me, arsehole!
40
00:01:42,958 --> 00:01:45,041
♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
41
00:01:52,917 --> 00:01:55,083
Let's look at
what's trending this hour.
42
00:01:55,166 --> 00:01:59,416
Avenue 5 is stuck in space.
I don't think I'm alone
43
00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:01,917
in thinking, "Thank fuck
I'm not on that ship!"
44
00:02:01,999 --> 00:02:03,833
The passengers are angry,
as I would be
45
00:02:03,917 --> 00:02:06,583
if I had their crappy lives.
Good morning.
46
00:02:06,667 --> 00:02:07,833
MAN: Shove your attitude.
47
00:02:07,917 --> 00:02:09,625
Anyone giving negative comments
should be blacklisted
48
00:02:09,708 --> 00:02:11,958
from all future voyages.
How would they like that?
49
00:02:12,041 --> 00:02:13,541
I imagine they might like that
a lot.
50
00:02:15,708 --> 00:02:17,041
Well, this feels real.
51
00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:23,917
(AMERICAN ACCENT) Morning,
ma'am! A new dawn has broken.
52
00:02:23,999 --> 00:02:26,958
So has our toilet.
We're not animals, you know.
53
00:02:27,041 --> 00:02:29,166
Right. I will-- I will talk
to Matt about that.
54
00:02:29,249 --> 00:02:31,166
(ENGLISH ACCENT) Good luck
pissing in the basement
55
00:02:31,249 --> 00:02:32,541
for the next three years.
56
00:02:32,625 --> 00:02:35,041
Good morning, captain.
Oh, you look haunted.
57
00:02:35,124 --> 00:02:35,999
Thanks.
58
00:02:36,083 --> 00:02:37,291
How are you adjusting
to all of this?
59
00:02:37,375 --> 00:02:38,541
Well, you know,
60
00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:41,249
just a little bit curious
as to why you never told me
61
00:02:41,333 --> 00:02:43,667
that the whole crew are a bunch
of fakes who have been
62
00:02:43,750 --> 00:02:44,999
shat out of Julliard.
63
00:02:45,083 --> 00:02:48,124
Well, I didn't think you would
react well.
64
00:02:48,208 --> 00:02:50,458
Here you are,
hissing at me in a hallway.
65
00:02:50,541 --> 00:02:52,833
This is radiation.
66
00:02:52,917 --> 00:02:55,833
And that moon-botherer is real.
You couldn't make that up.
67
00:02:55,917 --> 00:03:00,875
Now, ships are constantly
being bombarded by cosmic rays.
68
00:03:00,958 --> 00:03:03,124
It's deadly!
So, how do we fight it off?
69
00:03:03,208 --> 00:03:04,958
Ooh, I know, I know! Poop!
70
00:03:05,041 --> 00:03:06,208
-Uh--
-(CHILDREN LAUGHING)
71
00:03:06,291 --> 00:03:07,750
Smart kid! Zeke is right.
72
00:03:07,833 --> 00:03:10,833
A shield of human waste
protects us from radiation.
73
00:03:10,917 --> 00:03:12,999
(AMERICAN ACCENT) That's why
they call it the poop deck!
74
00:03:13,083 --> 00:03:14,249
-(LAUGHTER)
-No.
75
00:03:14,333 --> 00:03:15,917
It's from the French
for "stern."
76
00:03:15,999 --> 00:03:17,208
(LAUGHS)
77
00:03:17,291 --> 00:03:20,750
I'd close your mouth,
because it's not a joke.
78
00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:22,792
Every ship has a turd cloak.
79
00:03:22,875 --> 00:03:23,958
(ENGLISH ACCENT) Has a what?
80
00:03:24,041 --> 00:03:25,958
You don't know
about the wetsuit?
81
00:03:26,041 --> 00:03:29,166
(LAUGHS) Look at you,
listening in on us!
82
00:03:29,249 --> 00:03:30,999
-(RYAN CHUCKLES)
-Well, no, he knows everything.
83
00:03:31,083 --> 00:03:32,083
He's the captain.
84
00:03:32,166 --> 00:03:34,208
(AMERICAN ACCENT)
They call me Mr. Wetsuit.
85
00:03:34,291 --> 00:03:36,416
That's one of the things
we call him. (LAUGHS)
86
00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:39,416
Oh, look!
Who is missing a genius?
87
00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:40,917
-Over here!
-Okay.
88
00:03:40,999 --> 00:03:42,875
Maybe I should learn
about this stuff.
89
00:03:42,958 --> 00:03:45,041
-Space and so on.
-(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
90
00:03:45,124 --> 00:03:47,083
Uh... I'll, um...
I'll explain it to you.
91
00:03:47,166 --> 00:03:49,875
So, all this technology,
and still, human feces
92
00:03:49,958 --> 00:03:52,166
is the best way to not get
cancer in space,
93
00:03:52,249 --> 00:03:56,124
which reminds me,
vent the wetsuit.
94
00:03:56,208 --> 00:03:58,124
(ENGLISH ACCENT) You know
what I have written on my hand?
95
00:03:58,208 --> 00:04:00,291
-What?
-"Unclench me."
96
00:04:00,375 --> 00:04:01,875
WOMAN: Hey, asshole,
I want my life back.
97
00:04:01,958 --> 00:04:03,375
-IRIS KIMURA: Thank you.
-HERMAN JUDD: Oh, man.
98
00:04:03,458 --> 00:04:06,917
I don't wanna go the same way
as Richard Branson!
99
00:04:06,999 --> 00:04:09,458
Fed to his own pigs
on his private island.
100
00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:12,041
It's still early. The passengers
get easier to wrangle
101
00:04:12,124 --> 00:04:13,083
after the first drink.
102
00:04:13,166 --> 00:04:15,500
The financial stuff,
tell me honestly, Iris--
103
00:04:15,583 --> 00:04:17,458
-Yes, I do.
-I didn't even ask the question!
104
00:04:17,541 --> 00:04:20,458
"Do you think we're fucked,
financially?" Answer: yes, I do.
105
00:04:20,541 --> 00:04:24,625
Oh. I don't like being unhappy,
Iris. I just don't like it.
106
00:04:24,708 --> 00:04:25,875
IRIS: You get used to it.
107
00:04:25,958 --> 00:04:27,625
Do you verbally
consent to a hug?
108
00:04:27,708 --> 00:04:29,583
Ugh.
109
00:04:29,667 --> 00:04:32,249
Oh. Here's an idea to get people
to like you.
110
00:04:32,333 --> 00:04:34,458
Drinks. Here. Cocktail party.
111
00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:36,208
All the passengers,
meet them in batches.
112
00:04:36,291 --> 00:04:38,875
Yeah. Maybe someone
will hug me there.
113
00:04:38,958 --> 00:04:41,291
All right, so, journey time...
(MUTTERING)
114
00:04:41,375 --> 00:04:43,541
Okay, so you can meet
19 people a week.
115
00:04:43,625 --> 00:04:46,166
Nineteen. Odd number.
Don't people come in couples?
116
00:04:46,249 --> 00:04:48,917
No. Widows, widowers,
priests, ugly people.
117
00:04:48,999 --> 00:04:51,458
-You're not a couple.
-Neither was Zeus.
118
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:54,750
-And I'm basically Zeus.
-He married his sister.
119
00:04:54,833 --> 00:04:57,708
(SHUDDERS) My sister would make
a selfish bride.
120
00:04:57,792 --> 00:05:00,500
IRIS: Okay, so the batch parties
are a go.
121
00:05:00,583 --> 00:05:03,416
Where we at
in terms of the vigil?
122
00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:06,083
Did you fill it, like I asked,
but didn't ask?
123
00:05:06,166 --> 00:05:07,625
I don't know
what you're talking about.
124
00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:09,291
Remember I told you
that I wanted--
125
00:05:09,375 --> 00:05:11,416
Oh, you're doing
a whole deniability thing.
126
00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:13,500
You only need to do that
in front of other people.
127
00:05:13,583 --> 00:05:14,792
People, not half-people.
128
00:05:14,875 --> 00:05:18,375
There's no air resistance,
so we're just sailing on, right?
129
00:05:18,458 --> 00:05:21,249
But what's the, um...
What's the Rafer valve?
130
00:05:21,333 --> 00:05:22,958
I've already told you this one.
131
00:05:23,041 --> 00:05:24,583
I thought you were Mr. Wetsuit.
132
00:05:24,667 --> 00:05:28,041
Come on, Zeke, please!
I said I would give you pens.
133
00:05:28,124 --> 00:05:32,416
And that is how I saved
the entire ship!
134
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,833
SPIKE: This is a bright kid.
135
00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:36,583
He's probably hoping
he'll grow up one day
136
00:05:36,667 --> 00:05:39,083
-and be like old Spikey, huh?
-Not really.
137
00:05:39,708 --> 00:05:41,208
That's a little harsh.
138
00:05:41,625 --> 00:05:44,625
Oh! Oh. Punk.
139
00:05:44,708 --> 00:05:46,083
Hey, um... Hey, where's your--
140
00:05:46,166 --> 00:05:47,999
Where's your mom
and her fellow moms?
141
00:05:48,083 --> 00:05:50,875
-Oh, uh, she's over there.
-Oh. Thank you.
142
00:05:53,375 --> 00:05:54,958
No, she's not. She's over there.
143
00:05:58,917 --> 00:06:01,917
That's... That's pretty smooth.
144
00:06:01,999 --> 00:06:03,999
PROTESTOR:
I worry about the victims.
145
00:06:04,083 --> 00:06:05,833
But one of the biggest victims
146
00:06:05,917 --> 00:06:08,416
is Mr. Judd
and the Judd Corporation.
147
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:11,999
I blame NASA's refusal
to honor code 346
148
00:06:12,083 --> 00:06:14,458
of the International
Space Treaties.
149
00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:16,958
Is he just saying that
off the top of his head?
150
00:06:17,041 --> 00:06:18,833
Why do you find it so odd?
151
00:06:18,917 --> 00:06:20,792
Who knows what stage
of grief he's at.
152
00:06:20,875 --> 00:06:22,291
There's no stage of grief
known as
153
00:06:22,375 --> 00:06:23,625
"fluency
in international space law"!
154
00:06:23,708 --> 00:06:27,041
The question of liability
is up for debate.
155
00:06:27,124 --> 00:06:30,833
What is your problem? He looks
the part. It's perfect casting.
156
00:06:30,917 --> 00:06:32,416
Casting? What the-- Oh.
157
00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:33,667
They're actors.
158
00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:34,750
The-- He's an actor!
159
00:06:34,833 --> 00:06:36,625
Well, if it took you this long
to work it out,
160
00:06:36,708 --> 00:06:39,291
-what is the problem?
-ALAN: That's a good point.
-RAV MULCAIR: Shut up, Alan.
161
00:06:39,375 --> 00:06:40,708
It'll look terrible
if it gets out
162
00:06:40,792 --> 00:06:42,999
that we're paying actors
to get public support!
163
00:06:44,124 --> 00:06:45,291
Send them home!
164
00:06:45,375 --> 00:06:48,166
Won't that look terrible?
If the vigil suddenly disperses?
165
00:06:48,249 --> 00:06:49,999
-Yeah, good point.
-RAV: Shut up, both of you.
166
00:06:50,792 --> 00:06:51,875
Actually, that is a good point.
167
00:06:51,958 --> 00:06:54,124
-Uh, I'm not--
-Shut up, Alan.
168
00:06:54,208 --> 00:06:57,541
(SIGHS) Okay. Mads,
let's see what you've learnt.
169
00:06:57,625 --> 00:06:59,375
What is your engineering
clearance level?
170
00:06:59,458 --> 00:07:00,416
High.
171
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:02,833
No, it's a number
between one and 100.
172
00:07:03,166 --> 00:07:04,291
Uh... 100?
173
00:07:04,375 --> 00:07:06,249
Guys, come on, this is not
community theater!
174
00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:09,333
You've gotta know this stuff
like you know your own names.
175
00:07:09,416 --> 00:07:11,917
Do you mean our names,
or our character names?
176
00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:13,667
(ENGLISH ACCENT) What?
Oh, don't tell me
177
00:07:13,750 --> 00:07:17,124
-Mads isn't your real name.
-No, no. No. I'm Colin.
178
00:07:17,208 --> 00:07:18,583
Oh, for f--
179
00:07:18,667 --> 00:07:21,792
No offense, but that is
a placeholder name
if ever I heard one.
180
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:22,833
(CLEARS THROAT)
181
00:07:22,917 --> 00:07:24,208
BILLIE MCEVOY:
Yes, what's your name?
182
00:07:24,291 --> 00:07:25,208
Uh, Sarah.
183
00:07:25,291 --> 00:07:26,625
-Sarah.
-Is that your real name?
184
00:07:26,708 --> 00:07:30,208
Oh, it's also Sarah. That's why
I got the part, I think.
185
00:07:30,291 --> 00:07:31,999
Right. So, who are you
right now?
186
00:07:32,083 --> 00:07:33,124
-Now?
-Yeah.
187
00:07:33,208 --> 00:07:34,208
Sarah.
188
00:07:34,291 --> 00:07:36,416
No, uh, but are you
actual Sarah,
189
00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:38,166
or are you in character?
190
00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:40,041
-Yes.
-Which?
191
00:07:40,792 --> 00:07:42,249
What was the question, sorry?
192
00:07:42,333 --> 00:07:44,458
Oh, Judith of Norwich.
193
00:07:44,541 --> 00:07:47,792
This is why they should slash
art funding to the bones.
194
00:07:47,875 --> 00:07:50,458
(CLEARS THROAT) Sorry,
quick motivation question.
195
00:07:50,541 --> 00:07:52,999
-Yes, Sarah.
-How is Sarah responding,
196
00:07:53,083 --> 00:07:55,833
now that she knows
that the captain's fake?
197
00:07:55,917 --> 00:07:58,833
No, he's not! I am not fake!
198
00:07:58,917 --> 00:08:01,041
I am-- I am solid,
I am dependable,
199
00:08:01,124 --> 00:08:03,166
I am un-fucking-flappable!
200
00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:04,333
-Right.
-RYAN: I know that...
201
00:08:04,416 --> 00:08:05,792
I'm not coming out that way
right now,
202
00:08:05,875 --> 00:08:08,833
but that's what you...
what you all have to remember.
203
00:08:08,917 --> 00:08:09,958
After all, if I was fake,
204
00:08:10,041 --> 00:08:12,083
I would not know
what a Roofie valve is.
205
00:08:12,166 --> 00:08:13,249
Uh, a Rafer valve.
206
00:08:13,333 --> 00:08:15,458
Right. Well, I got the word
"valve" right.
207
00:08:15,541 --> 00:08:16,500
Yes, you did.
208
00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:18,291
Can we just stick
to the script? All right?
209
00:08:18,375 --> 00:08:19,958
Or is that not something
they taught you
210
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:21,667
at the Royal Academy
of Dramatic Sarahs?
211
00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:24,999
Okay, so, my character
doesn't know that you're fake.
212
00:08:25,083 --> 00:08:27,667
Okay, I've got that. That is
actually quite a good note.
213
00:08:27,750 --> 00:08:29,500
You're gonna make a note
of the note?
214
00:08:29,583 --> 00:08:31,999
-Yeah. "Doesn't know..."
-(RYAN SIGHS)
215
00:08:32,083 --> 00:08:35,083
This is just hopeless. I don't
even believe they're actors.
216
00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:38,750
You've got to take me
to the real crew, real fast.
217
00:08:39,708 --> 00:08:41,500
(DANISH ACCENT)
Okay, fly safe, cap.
218
00:08:41,583 --> 00:08:43,249
Oh, fuck off, Colin!
219
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:47,500
-I had drinks with Rav.
-Who is my best friend.
220
00:08:47,583 --> 00:08:49,166
'Cause I needed someone
to talk to
221
00:08:49,249 --> 00:08:50,708
after my wife made a cuck-hold
of me.
222
00:08:50,792 --> 00:08:53,750
Okay, "cuck-hold"?
there is no "h" in "cuckold."
223
00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:55,166
You idiot. Right?
224
00:08:55,249 --> 00:08:57,792
Now you're getting another man
to spell "cuckold" for me.
225
00:08:57,875 --> 00:08:59,124
-Mm-hmm.
-DOUG: We had drinks.
226
00:08:59,208 --> 00:09:01,667
We were talking
and I got emotional.
227
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,375
And I accidentally
kissed her neck.
228
00:09:03,458 --> 00:09:06,291
-How do you accidentally kiss
somebody's neck?
-But I didn't have full sex.
229
00:09:06,375 --> 00:09:08,124
Oh, well, when have you
ever done that, Doug?
230
00:09:08,208 --> 00:09:10,625
-Can I just get my own cabin?
-Yes! Please!
231
00:09:10,708 --> 00:09:13,291
If I have to watch him
carefully dry his balls
232
00:09:13,375 --> 00:09:15,041
one more time,
I'm gonna kill myself.
233
00:09:15,124 --> 00:09:17,208
I have a male yeast infection.
It's a real i--
234
00:09:17,291 --> 00:09:18,875
-(SIGHS)
-Would you rather I carelessly
235
00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:20,291
dry my balls?
236
00:09:20,375 --> 00:09:22,667
Okay, this is all
very informative.
237
00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:24,667
Are you taking notes?
238
00:09:26,083 --> 00:09:27,875
-What?
-How long has that
been up there?
239
00:09:27,958 --> 00:09:31,166
Now, the word cloud
is in your room
240
00:09:31,249 --> 00:09:32,291
on all the screens.
241
00:09:32,375 --> 00:09:34,583
-What? Can we get rid of it?
-No.
242
00:09:34,667 --> 00:09:37,124
You can add words to it,
but you can't remove any.
243
00:09:37,208 --> 00:09:40,249
When you get back there,
you're gonna see words like
244
00:09:40,333 --> 00:09:43,083
-"Neck." "Male bitch."
-Mm-hmm.
245
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:45,041
"The beast of yeast."
246
00:09:45,124 --> 00:09:47,958
You're gonna see words like
"Emotional ragdoll."
247
00:09:48,041 --> 00:09:52,500
"Chunky millstone." "Fucker."
"Worm-dicked little fucker."
248
00:09:52,583 --> 00:09:54,625
Who put that word on there?
We didn't say that word.
249
00:09:54,708 --> 00:09:55,875
-I'd said it.
-When?
250
00:09:55,958 --> 00:09:57,291
Before you got here.
251
00:09:57,792 --> 00:09:59,750
"Stank-ass balls."
252
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,750
Yeah, I said you can shove
your stank-ass balls
253
00:10:01,833 --> 00:10:03,249
in your mouth and choke on them
and die.
254
00:10:03,333 --> 00:10:05,083
How much work did you guys do
before I got here?
255
00:10:05,166 --> 00:10:06,958
She got here 45 minutes early.
256
00:10:08,667 --> 00:10:10,958
I think we did
really good work today.
257
00:10:11,041 --> 00:10:12,416
-Yeah.
-MATT SPENCER:
So, you're at peace?
258
00:10:12,500 --> 00:10:14,708
I'm gonna go fix
some other passengers now.
259
00:10:14,792 --> 00:10:16,541
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
260
00:10:16,625 --> 00:10:18,083
ENGINEER 1: Bleed wetsuit
in five minutes.
261
00:10:18,166 --> 00:10:20,124
ENGINEER 2: And venting
ion drive in two.
262
00:10:20,208 --> 00:10:23,875
BILLIE: Heads up, guys!
Faux Capitano in the house!
263
00:10:28,458 --> 00:10:29,541
(ENGLISH ACCENT) Morning.
264
00:10:31,458 --> 00:10:34,958
Sorry it took me so long
to realize that you existed.
265
00:10:35,041 --> 00:10:36,625
No problem.
266
00:10:36,708 --> 00:10:39,875
So, popcorn and dirty jokes.
Who's in?
267
00:10:39,958 --> 00:10:41,208
-(LAUGHTER)
-So, she said,
268
00:10:41,291 --> 00:10:43,166
"Wait a minute, well, then,
who was that on the ladder?"
269
00:10:43,249 --> 00:10:47,166
-(LAUGHTER)
-(BILLIE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)
270
00:10:48,750 --> 00:10:51,999
I want that as a ringtone.
I definitely do!
271
00:10:52,083 --> 00:10:55,792
Wow. Seriously, though,
on a scale of one
272
00:10:55,875 --> 00:10:59,333
to "we're all going to die,"
how fucked did you think
273
00:10:59,416 --> 00:11:01,708
we were when we found out
that I'm just a beard
274
00:11:01,792 --> 00:11:03,750
in a Sergeant Pepper uniform?
275
00:11:03,833 --> 00:11:06,124
Uh, actually, we've been taking
bets on how long you'd last.
276
00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:07,999
Uh, yeah. You owe me 50 bucks.
277
00:11:08,083 --> 00:11:09,375
(LAUGHTER)
278
00:11:09,458 --> 00:11:11,917
I'm-- I'm laughing
because I'm terrified!
279
00:11:11,999 --> 00:11:13,375
(LAUGHTER)
280
00:11:13,458 --> 00:11:16,750
Do you love to drink?
I know my dad did.
281
00:11:16,833 --> 00:11:19,958
Why don't you come down
and enjoy a nice, cold glass...
282
00:11:20,041 --> 00:11:22,667
Hey, Clara.
That's a beautiful top.
283
00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:24,124
Catastrophe-chic!
284
00:11:24,208 --> 00:11:26,249
-Hey, Spike.
-Hey, pal.
285
00:11:26,333 --> 00:11:28,792
Have you ever masturbated
to a constellation?
286
00:11:28,875 --> 00:11:32,333
Yes. Once. Gemini. Twins!
287
00:11:32,416 --> 00:11:34,625
Hey! What are you guys
talking about?
288
00:11:34,708 --> 00:11:37,291
-Star clusters.
-What about you, Frank?
289
00:11:37,375 --> 00:11:39,416
Three years,
time to find the new you?
290
00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:41,792
Yeah, that's funny,
my dad had a funny expression.
291
00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:46,166
He used to say, "Frank,
moderation in all things,
292
00:11:46,249 --> 00:11:47,625
including moderation."
293
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:49,291
Um, that's moderately funny.
294
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:53,875
Okay, Frank, what's the craziest
thing you've ever done?
295
00:11:53,958 --> 00:11:55,833
Taking out a bridge loan.
296
00:11:55,917 --> 00:11:58,166
What's the craziest thing
you've ever wanted to do?
297
00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:02,208
I've always wanted to wear
a necklace.
298
00:12:02,291 --> 00:12:04,541
Not a jewelry kind,
but a leather one.
299
00:12:04,625 --> 00:12:06,708
-Uh-huh.
-Maybe with a shell.
300
00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:08,166
All right.
301
00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:09,500
Why stop with a shell?
302
00:12:09,583 --> 00:12:12,416
Maybe you could wear,
I don't know, a dolphin dick.
303
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:15,667
Yeah, oh, yeah, a dolphin dick.
Hard to come by, though.
304
00:12:15,750 --> 00:12:18,208
-Or you could grow a ponytail.
-(SIGHS)
305
00:12:18,291 --> 00:12:20,249
-Like Spike.
-No, he couldn't. Few can.
306
00:12:20,333 --> 00:12:23,625
I have peculiarly
muscular follicles.
307
00:12:23,708 --> 00:12:25,999
You can be any Frank you want.
308
00:12:26,083 --> 00:12:28,124
-SPIKE: Go for it, Frank.
-Right?
309
00:12:28,208 --> 00:12:29,249
Great.
310
00:12:29,333 --> 00:12:32,083
-You could be punk rock Frank.
-(LAUGHS)
311
00:12:32,166 --> 00:12:33,541
Huh?
312
00:12:33,625 --> 00:12:35,541
You could be
Christian Scientist Frank.
313
00:12:35,625 --> 00:12:38,333
-Occasionally gay Frank.
-Maybe.
314
00:12:38,416 --> 00:12:41,208
-Slightly racist Frank!
-Frank the fiend.
315
00:12:41,291 --> 00:12:44,083
You could be whatever
the fuck you want. Okay?
316
00:12:44,166 --> 00:12:45,750
-Yes.
-You want another Judd martini?
317
00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:46,708
What was that?
318
00:12:46,792 --> 00:12:48,625
Do you want another
Judd martini?
319
00:12:50,708 --> 00:12:52,667
-Yes. Yes, yes.
-Yes, you do! Yes.
320
00:12:52,750 --> 00:12:54,750
-Hell-- Hell yes!
-Yes, you do!
321
00:12:54,833 --> 00:12:57,208
Olivia, can we get
another martini for the man?
322
00:12:57,291 --> 00:12:59,667
-No olive this time, please.
-Make it dirty.
323
00:13:01,792 --> 00:13:04,667
N-- Strictly 19 people,
Mrs. Hines.
324
00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:06,124
I have you down as widowed.
325
00:13:06,208 --> 00:13:08,500
Yes, but James is
my new friend, and I thought--
326
00:13:08,583 --> 00:13:10,416
Wow, I guess grief
wants what it wants, right?
327
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:12,541
All right, uh, couples,
stand together, please,
328
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,208
and I will approach you
as a double unit, okay?
329
00:13:17,541 --> 00:13:19,458
Iris-- Iris!
330
00:13:19,541 --> 00:13:21,249
Can you please take care
of the widow?
331
00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:22,999
She's very clingy.
332
00:13:23,083 --> 00:13:26,375
Hi. Herman Judd, mogul. You know
that already, though, don't you?
333
00:13:26,458 --> 00:13:28,291
-(LAUGHS)
-You guys look great together.
334
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:30,458
You make
a very successful merger.
335
00:13:30,541 --> 00:13:33,875
That's CEO talk.
That's CEO talk. Hug?
336
00:13:33,958 --> 00:13:35,208
-Oh.
-(CHUCKLES)
337
00:13:36,041 --> 00:13:38,999
(WHISPERING) One, two, three.
338
00:13:39,083 --> 00:13:41,083
I got it. I did
the math in my head.
339
00:13:41,166 --> 00:13:43,875
Three-second rule, am I right?
Didn't that feel nice?
340
00:13:43,958 --> 00:13:46,792
And nobody crossed any lines.
Look at all these smiles!
341
00:13:46,875 --> 00:13:49,124
I-- I-- There's a laundry cart
blockade on--
342
00:13:49,208 --> 00:13:50,458
What's that? Good, good.
343
00:13:50,541 --> 00:13:52,917
Why don't you guys make your way
over by the skulls over there,
344
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,583
all four Beatles.
345
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,166
Hi. Herman Judd, entreprenaut.
346
00:13:57,249 --> 00:13:58,625
So, do we have to keep paying
347
00:13:58,708 --> 00:14:00,291
now that we're
stranded out here, or--
348
00:14:00,375 --> 00:14:02,750
You know what, why don't
I give you guys
349
00:14:02,833 --> 00:14:04,333
a private tour
of my own quarters?
350
00:14:04,416 --> 00:14:05,833
We're gonna shake things up.
351
00:14:05,917 --> 00:14:08,375
What we have to do
is we have to transform
352
00:14:08,458 --> 00:14:11,999
those faulty sex bots upstairs
from risible into plausible.
353
00:14:12,083 --> 00:14:14,083
They have to be absolutely
convincing,
354
00:14:14,166 --> 00:14:16,667
especially Sarah-slash-Sarah,
355
00:14:16,750 --> 00:14:19,500
who is driving me
slash-wrists insane.
356
00:14:19,583 --> 00:14:21,750
-(LAUGHTER)
-(BILLIE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)
357
00:14:23,249 --> 00:14:24,500
-CYRUS: I have an idea.
-That's funny.
358
00:14:24,583 --> 00:14:27,833
What if we connect
a real comms link
359
00:14:27,917 --> 00:14:29,458
to their prop headsets?
360
00:14:29,541 --> 00:14:33,041
That is brilliant! You see,
that is exactly the sort of idea
361
00:14:33,124 --> 00:14:35,416
I should've had
if I weren't a complete fraud.
362
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:36,917
(LAUGHTER)
363
00:14:36,999 --> 00:14:39,375
We could tell them
exactly what to say.
364
00:14:39,458 --> 00:14:41,541
So, you wouldn't have Nadia
sitting there like,
365
00:14:41,625 --> 00:14:44,375
(FRENCH ACCENT) "I'm Nadia,
and I'm nominal."
366
00:14:44,458 --> 00:14:47,208
(GIGGLES) "And the systems
are nominal." (GIGGLES)
367
00:14:47,291 --> 00:14:49,625
(DANISH ACCENT) Oh, hey,
my name is Mads, and I am from
368
00:14:49,708 --> 00:14:52,375
-Spain or somewhere.
-(LAUGHTER)
369
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,541
(ENGLISH ACCENT)
Uh, hi, my name is Ryan,
370
00:14:54,625 --> 00:14:56,583
and I'm a captain
and an alcoholic.
371
00:14:56,667 --> 00:14:58,249
(LAUGHTER AND GASPING)
372
00:14:58,333 --> 00:15:00,667
Uh, that's-- that's--
that's actually not true.
373
00:15:00,750 --> 00:15:01,917
I'm not a captain.
374
00:15:04,625 --> 00:15:06,249
One of my prized possessions.
375
00:15:06,333 --> 00:15:09,041
First edition
of Billy McFarland's book.
376
00:15:09,124 --> 00:15:11,375
This was way before he became
head of the FBI.
377
00:15:11,458 --> 00:15:16,458
Here are the skulls
of all four Beatles.
378
00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,500
All signed.
Not by them, obviously.
379
00:15:18,583 --> 00:15:20,208
That would be impossible.
I signed them.
380
00:15:20,291 --> 00:15:25,083
This is how it all began.
This is when I had my big idea.
381
00:15:25,166 --> 00:15:27,667
This is... not the original.
I threw that one out.
382
00:15:28,917 --> 00:15:31,583
So, I'd better go and have
another drink now.
383
00:15:31,667 --> 00:15:34,375
One of Judd's "my parents
never loved me" parties.
384
00:15:34,458 --> 00:15:35,500
(LAUGHTER)
385
00:15:35,583 --> 00:15:37,667
-Fly safe!
-Fly drunk!
386
00:15:37,750 --> 00:15:41,333
(CHUCKLING) How do you do it?
I thought they'd hate you.
387
00:15:41,416 --> 00:15:43,083
If it's any consolation,
I hate me.
388
00:15:43,166 --> 00:15:45,500
So, what does your husband do?
389
00:15:45,583 --> 00:15:48,541
He's dead. He died in a fire
three months ago.
390
00:15:48,625 --> 00:15:52,041
Oh, right, right. The widow.
Uh, we-- we've mingled already.
391
00:15:52,124 --> 00:15:54,708
No weather in space. Right?
392
00:15:57,041 --> 00:15:59,333
Makes it hard to talk about
the weather,
393
00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:00,792
which I'm kind of illustrating.
394
00:16:00,875 --> 00:16:04,792
I'm sorry, I don't understand
the nature of what you are.
395
00:16:04,875 --> 00:16:07,833
Yeah, my nature is currently
evolving. Look at this. Look.
396
00:16:07,917 --> 00:16:09,750
(AMERICAN ACCENT)
Anybody order a captain?
397
00:16:09,833 --> 00:16:11,124
-Judd champagne?
-Thank you.
398
00:16:11,208 --> 00:16:14,041
Have you seen Mr. Judd's
skulls of the four Beatles?
399
00:16:14,124 --> 00:16:16,792
(ENGLISH ACCENT)
Four Beatles? John Lennon
was cremated, wasn't he?
400
00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:18,208
All right,
keep that to yourself.
401
00:16:18,291 --> 00:16:20,708
I think one of the skulls
is actually Micky Dolenz.
402
00:16:22,667 --> 00:16:25,083
Oh, that is just
pure arse juice.
403
00:16:25,166 --> 00:16:27,708
I don't believe we've had
the pleasure. Herman Judd.
404
00:16:27,792 --> 00:16:29,124
Oh! Karen Kelly.
405
00:16:29,208 --> 00:16:32,333
Ah! Great. Your, uh, nails
are very long and very sharp.
406
00:16:32,416 --> 00:16:35,625
Thank you! I've been practicing
my handshake since grade school.
407
00:16:35,708 --> 00:16:37,208
-Did she break the skin?
-No.
408
00:16:37,291 --> 00:16:40,792
Okay, good. I like you.
You know how to handle people.
409
00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:43,208
Basically a cattle prod
in a dress.
410
00:16:43,291 --> 00:16:44,792
Enjoying your wine, captain?
411
00:16:44,875 --> 00:16:45,958
JUDD: Mm!
412
00:16:46,041 --> 00:16:49,375
Now, Karen, putting your
passenger hat on for a second,
413
00:16:49,458 --> 00:16:51,999
what more can Iris be doing?
414
00:16:52,083 --> 00:16:56,333
Well, there's quite a divide
between staff and passengers.
415
00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:59,500
-Mm.
-Is that really Gone Girl
on an original Kindle?
416
00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:00,708
Sorry, not now. We're talking.
417
00:17:00,792 --> 00:17:03,750
This is a restricted
conversational area. Thank you.
418
00:17:04,875 --> 00:17:08,999
So, I would suggest,
I don't know, maybe a photo?
419
00:17:09,083 --> 00:17:11,958
Everyone together, you know,
laughing, hitting it off.
420
00:17:12,041 --> 00:17:14,500
-Maybe on the bridge!
-(IRIS LAUGHS)
421
00:17:14,583 --> 00:17:16,583
-That's a shitty idea.
-I love this idea.
422
00:17:16,667 --> 00:17:20,249
-As in, that idea is the shit!
-So, we're all agreed
423
00:17:20,333 --> 00:17:23,166
that-- that Karen's idea
is very much the shit.
424
00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:25,291
Claw lady's on to something.
425
00:17:25,375 --> 00:17:29,041
We show the people of Earth
a moment of unity.
426
00:17:29,124 --> 00:17:31,208
We have another slingshot
moment coming up
427
00:17:31,291 --> 00:17:33,416
in less than an hour,
around Enceladus.
428
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:37,041
This is perfect. We get a bunch
of passengers on the bridge,
429
00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:38,333
get some Mr. Average
430
00:17:38,416 --> 00:17:40,541
to push that fake button we have
for the kids.
431
00:17:40,625 --> 00:17:43,041
(ENGLISH ACCENT) Why would
you put that idea into his head?
432
00:17:43,124 --> 00:17:45,083
If you could have put anything
in there,
433
00:17:45,166 --> 00:17:46,375
why not general anesthetic?
434
00:17:46,458 --> 00:17:49,124
What is your problem,
you big whinebag?
435
00:17:49,208 --> 00:17:50,750
Well, things on the bridge...
436
00:17:50,833 --> 00:17:52,708
Ah, it's a little fluid
right now.
437
00:17:52,792 --> 00:17:55,166
Yeah, tell me about it.
You're at 85 percent fluid.
438
00:17:55,249 --> 00:17:58,583
Look, you're always saying
the crew are so professional.
439
00:17:58,667 --> 00:18:00,667
Yeah, I say a lot of things
that are shit.
440
00:18:00,750 --> 00:18:02,041
-Don't you notice that?
-Yeah.
441
00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:04,875
Enceladus is-- it's--
I don't like it, as a moon.
442
00:18:04,999 --> 00:18:07,500
All right, you middle-aged
fuck buddies, here's the deal.
443
00:18:07,583 --> 00:18:09,917
Iris just sent word for it
to be announced ship-wide.
444
00:18:09,999 --> 00:18:11,291
(SIGHS) Arse!
445
00:18:11,375 --> 00:18:13,625
Now, where are we at
with the button-pusher?
446
00:18:13,708 --> 00:18:14,750
Mr. Average.
447
00:18:14,833 --> 00:18:16,375
Hey, sweetie. I have your purse.
448
00:18:16,458 --> 00:18:17,999
Oh, hi, honey. Thank you.
449
00:18:18,083 --> 00:18:22,333
Captain, Mr. Judd. Guys.
Can I join the party? (LAUGHS)
450
00:18:22,416 --> 00:18:23,875
-(KAREN CHUCKLES)
-JUDD: He'll do.
451
00:18:26,124 --> 00:18:28,500
I feel like I'm the prom queen
or something.
452
00:18:28,583 --> 00:18:31,458
Drunk on cheap wine,
I'm ready to lose my virginity.
453
00:18:31,541 --> 00:18:32,458
(LAUGHS) Yeah!
454
00:18:32,541 --> 00:18:34,333
And I would deflower you
in a second!
455
00:18:34,416 --> 00:18:35,708
I am so proud of you, Frank!
456
00:18:35,792 --> 00:18:37,958
JUDD: Okay, so you'll
hit the button, "Yay,"
457
00:18:38,041 --> 00:18:40,208
cheering, cheering, cheering,
moon-sling,
458
00:18:40,291 --> 00:18:41,625
and then everybody drinks a beer
459
00:18:41,708 --> 00:18:43,708
except for Iris.
Iris is on duty.
460
00:18:43,792 --> 00:18:45,999
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
461
00:18:50,416 --> 00:18:52,999
You know, it was
kinda nice, earlier,
462
00:18:53,083 --> 00:18:56,166
to talk, you know, like people,
not barking like dogs.
463
00:18:56,249 --> 00:18:57,750
-Assholes. (LAUGHS)
-(LAUGHS) Yeah.
464
00:18:57,833 --> 00:18:59,208
-Excuse me.
-WAITER: Hi.
465
00:18:59,291 --> 00:19:00,958
Yes, I'd love a tiramisu.
466
00:19:01,041 --> 00:19:03,375
Oh, you know what,
tiramisu me up too, buddy!
467
00:19:03,458 --> 00:19:06,333
Ah, I'm afraid
there's only one left.
468
00:19:06,416 --> 00:19:11,375
So, for the next however long,
we're out of tiramisu?
469
00:19:11,458 --> 00:19:14,500
-Yeah.
-Oh, my God, this is big.
470
00:19:14,583 --> 00:19:17,333
-I'd better get it, then.
-You'd better get it.
471
00:19:17,416 --> 00:19:19,500
To share, Doug! For us!
472
00:19:19,583 --> 00:19:23,124
Mm. Quote, you were here,
"I better get it then."
473
00:19:23,208 --> 00:19:24,208
Not "us."
474
00:19:24,291 --> 00:19:26,333
Well, "Us better get it"
isn't a sentence, Doug!
475
00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:29,792
God. Take that tiramisu
and shove it right up your ass.
476
00:19:33,124 --> 00:19:35,500
You know what? Tira-me-su!
(LAUGHS) Please.
477
00:19:35,583 --> 00:19:38,458
But not up my asshole.
You can just put it right here
on the table.
478
00:19:40,875 --> 00:19:43,500
(PIPE VIBRATES, THUDS)
479
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:45,416
JUDD: Hey there. So, um...
480
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:48,166
Have you, uh, been
to the Judd jungle gym?
481
00:19:48,249 --> 00:19:50,792
And how did you hear about it?
Targeted ad? Word of mouth?
482
00:19:50,875 --> 00:19:51,708
Your nanny?
483
00:19:51,792 --> 00:19:53,291
-MATT: How you doing, buddy?
-I'm okay.
484
00:19:53,375 --> 00:19:54,833
-How old are you?
-12.
485
00:19:54,917 --> 00:19:56,833
Oh, that's an awful age.
486
00:19:56,917 --> 00:19:58,999
When I was 12,
I wanted to be a rapper.
487
00:19:59,083 --> 00:20:01,667
I tried to buy a gun,
the whole deal. I was a mess.
488
00:20:01,750 --> 00:20:02,583
No.
489
00:20:02,667 --> 00:20:04,875
You should never speak
to human beings.
490
00:20:04,958 --> 00:20:07,875
Well, I'm the head
of passenger services!
491
00:20:07,958 --> 00:20:11,249
(AMERICAN ACCENT) Good evening,
everybody. Excited?
492
00:20:13,208 --> 00:20:14,875
(ENGLISH ACCENT)
Hey, is...
493
00:20:14,958 --> 00:20:18,500
So, Cyrus is ready to prompt
Nadia with the commands, right?
494
00:20:18,583 --> 00:20:21,124
No, she's gonna do it herself.
495
00:20:21,208 --> 00:20:23,583
But she can't do it herself.
She hasn't memorized them.
496
00:20:24,833 --> 00:20:26,291
Oh. You're in character.
497
00:20:26,375 --> 00:20:29,625
I do not know what you mean
by "in character."
498
00:20:29,708 --> 00:20:33,083
-Okay, you're in character.
-I'm being Sarah.
499
00:20:35,249 --> 00:20:37,208
Did you just--
Did you just wink at--
500
00:20:37,291 --> 00:20:38,458
This button doesn't work, right?
501
00:20:38,541 --> 00:20:39,999
(DANISH ACCENT) No, no,
it's not even connected, no.
502
00:20:40,083 --> 00:20:41,375
-Can I? Do you mind?
-Of course.
503
00:20:41,458 --> 00:20:42,667
-(BEEPING)
-Look at that!
504
00:20:42,750 --> 00:20:43,750
It's cool, right?
505
00:20:43,833 --> 00:20:46,333
That's so neat! Iris! Iris!
506
00:20:46,416 --> 00:20:48,583
Hey, I want one of these buttons
for my room.
507
00:20:48,667 --> 00:20:50,708
RYAN: (AMERICAN ACCENT)
Right, bridge crew, ready!
508
00:20:50,792 --> 00:20:52,291
The performing seals are ready.
509
00:20:52,375 --> 00:20:55,750
Whoa, disrespectful.
Seals are pretty smart.
510
00:20:55,833 --> 00:20:57,917
The performing seals are ready.
511
00:20:57,999 --> 00:21:00,333
Only speak
when I say your names!
512
00:21:00,416 --> 00:21:02,541
Nadia, slingshot is primed.
513
00:21:02,625 --> 00:21:05,583
-Slingshot is primed.
-Go, go!
514
00:21:05,667 --> 00:21:07,083
Mads, engines.
515
00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:09,583
-MADS: Engines...
-Go, go.
516
00:21:09,667 --> 00:21:12,458
-Sarah, trajectory.
-SARAH: Trajectory...
517
00:21:17,375 --> 00:21:19,708
Guys, why is nobody answering
their comms?
518
00:21:19,792 --> 00:21:21,208
Are you all out for the day?
519
00:21:21,291 --> 00:21:22,249
Welcome to engineering,
520
00:21:22,333 --> 00:21:24,541
or as I call it, prompting.
Nadia--
521
00:21:24,625 --> 00:21:26,375
There's a rupture
in the turd shield.
522
00:21:26,458 --> 00:21:27,583
-What?
-Yeah!
523
00:21:27,667 --> 00:21:30,083
-Tell me you vented it. Tell--
-Tell me you vented it!
524
00:21:30,166 --> 00:21:32,999
There is a shitstorm coming,
and when I say "shit,"
525
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:35,458
I mean shit,
and when I say "storm,"
526
00:21:35,541 --> 00:21:37,792
I mean shit!
527
00:21:37,875 --> 00:21:40,625
-Look.
-Oh, for fu-- fu-- fu--
528
00:21:40,708 --> 00:21:41,833
Oh, fa-fa-fa!
529
00:21:45,625 --> 00:21:48,750
-Okay, remember, Frank.
-I know how to work a button.
530
00:21:48,833 --> 00:21:50,416
"Press." It's "press" a button.
531
00:21:51,041 --> 00:21:51,958
Press a button.
532
00:21:52,041 --> 00:21:54,083
Are we still on protocol, team?
533
00:21:54,166 --> 00:21:57,375
Oui, protocol status
is... nominal.
534
00:21:57,458 --> 00:22:00,833
Frank, you're the best.
You're a fucking silverback.
535
00:22:00,917 --> 00:22:02,667
There are children here.
536
00:22:02,750 --> 00:22:04,416
Let's action slingshot.
537
00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:06,416
Thrusters are primed, Frank. Go.
538
00:22:08,458 --> 00:22:09,792
Go, go!
539
00:22:09,875 --> 00:22:11,333
(GASPING)
540
00:22:15,249 --> 00:22:16,500
I should've done it.
541
00:22:16,583 --> 00:22:18,333
What did I-- Did I--
What did I do?
542
00:22:18,416 --> 00:22:21,917
Invoking emergency
headset protocol.
543
00:22:24,249 --> 00:22:26,541
(ENGLISH ACCENT)
Cyrus? Billie?
544
00:22:26,625 --> 00:22:28,667
Was that a--
Was that a good shudder?
545
00:22:28,750 --> 00:22:30,667
Or a bad shudder?
546
00:22:30,750 --> 00:22:33,249
-(ALARM BLARING)
-Ryan. Ryan, it's Billie.
547
00:22:33,333 --> 00:22:34,875
Someone forgot
to vent the wetsuit.
548
00:22:34,958 --> 00:22:38,833
This is not good.
Very code not good. Code bad!
549
00:22:38,917 --> 00:22:41,083
Ah, that's not really
a code, though, is it?
550
00:22:43,249 --> 00:22:45,291
(AMERICAN ACCENT) Okay!
Why don't we, uh,
551
00:22:45,375 --> 00:22:48,249
take another photograph?
Get all the kids there.
552
00:22:48,333 --> 00:22:50,833
Nice big smiles, everybody.
Right down to the front.
553
00:22:50,917 --> 00:22:52,333
Now, if you bunch in tight...
554
00:22:52,416 --> 00:22:53,541
BILLIE:
Captain. (CLEARS THROAT)
555
00:22:53,625 --> 00:22:57,458
We are currently
leaking human shit and piss
556
00:22:57,541 --> 00:22:59,333
live right now.
557
00:22:59,416 --> 00:23:01,124
-Wha--
-Or excrement and urine,
558
00:23:01,208 --> 00:23:02,166
if you're in first class.
559
00:23:02,249 --> 00:23:03,416
(ENGLISH ACCENT)
The wetsuit is turds?
560
00:23:03,500 --> 00:23:05,375
That's exactly what it is.
You want a brown star?
561
00:23:05,458 --> 00:23:08,041
Well, "crystal clear"
might seem like
562
00:23:08,124 --> 00:23:10,541
an odd phrase to use right now,
but I think you should've been
563
00:23:10,625 --> 00:23:11,958
crystal clear about this!
564
00:23:12,041 --> 00:23:14,708
I was. I explained this to you
over at Spike's class,
565
00:23:14,792 --> 00:23:16,958
as did Spike,
as did that little child.
566
00:23:17,041 --> 00:23:19,166
God, you don't feel like
a massive idiot
567
00:23:19,249 --> 00:23:20,833
about that button thing, do you?
568
00:23:20,917 --> 00:23:23,333
'Cause you just have to
let it go, honestly,
569
00:23:23,416 --> 00:23:24,541
because it will kill you.
570
00:23:24,625 --> 00:23:27,124
Oh, my fuck!
Look at all that shit!
571
00:23:27,541 --> 00:23:28,833
(GASPING)
572
00:23:31,124 --> 00:23:33,583
MATT: So, the ship seems to be
shitting itself,
573
00:23:33,667 --> 00:23:36,375
but don't get hung up
on results, Frank.
574
00:23:36,458 --> 00:23:37,999
The journey is the destination.
575
00:23:38,083 --> 00:23:40,249
Iris, I'm hearing things
right now that would worry me
576
00:23:40,333 --> 00:23:42,249
if they were true.
Please tell me they're not true.
577
00:23:42,333 --> 00:23:44,083
-They're all lies.
-Oh, thank God. Wait!
578
00:23:44,166 --> 00:23:47,083
You're just saying that because
I told you to, aren't you?
579
00:23:47,166 --> 00:23:48,208
-Yes.
-Oh, fuck!
580
00:23:49,750 --> 00:23:52,249
I've never seen
so many number twos.
581
00:23:52,333 --> 00:23:53,999
ZEKE'S MOM:
Is that what I think it is?
582
00:23:54,083 --> 00:23:55,875
Hell yeah, baby. Hell yeah.
583
00:23:57,333 --> 00:23:58,999
(GROANING)
584
00:23:59,083 --> 00:24:01,416
-(ALARM SOUNDING)
-RYAN (AUTOMATED):
This is an emergency.
585
00:24:01,500 --> 00:24:02,958
-I did not...
-Please remain calm.
586
00:24:03,041 --> 00:24:04,583
-Okay, that's not good.
-(ENGLISH ACCENT) Okay,
587
00:24:04,667 --> 00:24:05,750
ultra-emergency now.
588
00:24:05,833 --> 00:24:06,917
-I need...
-Accent!
589
00:24:06,999 --> 00:24:09,083
(AMERICAN ACCENT)
...all non-essential personnel
590
00:24:09,166 --> 00:24:12,333
to leave the bridge right now,
please. Thank you.
591
00:24:12,416 --> 00:24:14,083
(ENGLISH ACCENT)
Not you, not you!
592
00:24:14,166 --> 00:24:15,875
Especially this guy.
Get him out of here.
593
00:24:15,958 --> 00:24:17,625
-FRANK KELLY: Sorry, Karen.
-You son of a bitch!
594
00:24:17,708 --> 00:24:19,375
-RYAN: Please remain calm.
-Sorry.
595
00:24:23,875 --> 00:24:25,208
Yeah, I can't eat this.
596
00:24:26,833 --> 00:24:28,833
Tanto, tanto merda che esce.
597
00:24:28,917 --> 00:24:31,166
-(OVERLAPPING VOICES
IN VARIOUS LANGUAGES)
-Ma tanto, tanto, tanto
598
00:24:31,249 --> 00:24:34,541
esce la merda, esce, esce,
esce. Che cazzo fai?
599
00:24:34,625 --> 00:24:37,583
We are all going to die
of radiation poisoning
600
00:24:37,667 --> 00:24:41,124
if we don't plug the hole in
the vent right now. Like, now.
601
00:24:41,208 --> 00:24:42,416
Okay, if anyone needs
to freak out,
602
00:24:42,500 --> 00:24:44,416
this is a safe space.
Emotionally.
603
00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:46,458
Physically, we're obviously
in terrible danger.
604
00:24:46,541 --> 00:24:48,291
A real captain
would be out there.
605
00:24:48,375 --> 00:24:51,999
Yes! Captain, you need to get
out there and fix...
606
00:24:52,083 --> 00:24:55,875
whatever this is.
This dark evil.
607
00:24:55,958 --> 00:24:57,708
Look, I think you may
have to do this.
608
00:24:57,792 --> 00:24:58,958
(AMERICAN ACCENT)
No. No, no, no.
609
00:24:59,041 --> 00:25:02,541
Mr. Judd, the captain's place
is on the bridge.
610
00:25:02,625 --> 00:25:05,416
Look, the whole world
wants to see you out there!
611
00:25:05,500 --> 00:25:08,291
No, the whole world
wants to see a specialist,
612
00:25:08,375 --> 00:25:10,458
and I am not
a specialist in that.
613
00:25:10,541 --> 00:25:13,249
Go, Mr. Wetsuit! He's an expert.
614
00:25:13,999 --> 00:25:15,416
I never knew that before.
615
00:25:15,500 --> 00:25:17,208
You are the perfect man
for this job.
616
00:25:17,291 --> 00:25:20,333
Zeke, whoever does go out there,
I'm gonna make sure they bring
617
00:25:20,416 --> 00:25:21,708
you back a nice, big--
618
00:25:21,792 --> 00:25:24,750
Captain Clark saved my life
20 years ago.
619
00:25:24,833 --> 00:25:27,375
When we were mining
for asteroids. Do you remember?
620
00:25:27,458 --> 00:25:32,416
My harness failed, and I thought
I was gonna die.
621
00:25:32,500 --> 00:25:33,958
(SNIFFLES)
622
00:25:34,041 --> 00:25:37,500
And the captain untethered
his tether,
623
00:25:37,583 --> 00:25:40,375
and he jumped out
and he caught me.
624
00:25:40,458 --> 00:25:44,708
And he loves his uniform.
But he loves danger more.
625
00:25:44,792 --> 00:25:47,541
And that is why
we are saved, people.
626
00:25:47,625 --> 00:25:48,958
So, now you can act?
627
00:25:49,041 --> 00:25:51,166
(APPLAUSE)
628
00:25:53,583 --> 00:25:54,958
Wh-- No, no, no, no.
629
00:25:59,249 --> 00:26:02,583
Yeah, yeah, yeah! Avenue 5!
630
00:26:02,667 --> 00:26:04,500
CROWD: Avenue 5!
631
00:26:04,583 --> 00:26:08,041
-Fly safe, cap!
-Yeah! Right.
632
00:26:08,124 --> 00:26:10,041
(ENGLISH ACCENT) Of all
the things that are not good
633
00:26:10,124 --> 00:26:12,375
about this, one of them is,
I'm still drunk!
634
00:26:12,458 --> 00:26:13,792
Okay, listen,
it's gonna be fine.
635
00:26:13,875 --> 00:26:16,541
Uh, focus on her, because she's
got a really promising story.
636
00:26:16,625 --> 00:26:19,625
Is there a worse way to die?
Because right now,
637
00:26:19,708 --> 00:26:21,041
I'd be inclined
to pick that one.
638
00:26:21,124 --> 00:26:25,041
It's gonna be okay. I'm gonna
talk directly into your ear,
639
00:26:25,124 --> 00:26:27,541
and I'm gonna walk you through
this whole horror.
640
00:26:27,625 --> 00:26:29,166
You've just gotta find me
on the comms link,
641
00:26:29,249 --> 00:26:30,500
or I won't be able to help you.
642
00:26:30,583 --> 00:26:32,667
Okay, find me on the comms link.
Thank you. Take him down.
643
00:26:32,750 --> 00:26:34,416
-Find me on the comms link!
-Back to your stations.
644
00:26:34,500 --> 00:26:36,583
-RYAN: Please remain calm.
-JUDD: We got this!
645
00:26:36,667 --> 00:26:40,208
There is a rupture in the hull,
and Cap has gone to do an EVA.
646
00:26:40,291 --> 00:26:41,999
So, emergency drill. Go, go, go!
647
00:26:42,083 --> 00:26:44,124
-Uh, oui. Go, go!
-Yes.
648
00:26:44,667 --> 00:26:46,500
-EVA?
-Yes!
649
00:26:48,249 --> 00:26:50,333
-(CHUCKLES)
-I love improv.
650
00:26:51,667 --> 00:26:55,166
(CHEERING)
651
00:26:59,458 --> 00:27:00,917
I believe in you.
652
00:27:00,999 --> 00:27:03,500
But if, for whatever reason,
it doesn't work out,
653
00:27:03,583 --> 00:27:05,166
I'm gonna name a sports center
654
00:27:05,249 --> 00:27:07,583
or artificial ski slope
after you.
655
00:27:09,583 --> 00:27:14,833
Okay, engineering. Forward split
wetsuit protocol three
656
00:27:14,917 --> 00:27:16,208
to my station.
657
00:27:16,291 --> 00:27:19,041
Protocol three.
That is my favorite protocol.
658
00:27:21,124 --> 00:27:22,541
SARAH: Protocol three.
659
00:27:27,041 --> 00:27:29,041
-BILLIE: Okay.
-Oh, fucking hell.
660
00:27:31,375 --> 00:27:33,249
BILLIE: Ryan?
Ryan, can you hear me?
661
00:27:33,333 --> 00:27:35,416
Are you ready to do this?
662
00:27:35,500 --> 00:27:38,708
With every fiber
of my being, no.
663
00:27:39,750 --> 00:27:42,875
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
664
00:28:43,958 --> 00:28:45,583
Captain, what exactly
are you looking at?
665
00:28:45,667 --> 00:28:46,750
The inside of my eyelids.
666
00:28:46,833 --> 00:28:48,667
Can you get visuals
on the compromise?
667
00:28:48,750 --> 00:28:50,458
Visuals?
What's wrong with "see"?
668
00:28:51,500 --> 00:28:52,375
Or "come back in"?
669
00:28:52,458 --> 00:28:53,375
♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
670
00:28:53,458 --> 00:28:54,541
RAV MULCAIR:
Oh, this is not good.
671
00:28:54,625 --> 00:28:55,500
Where are you going?
672
00:28:55,958 --> 00:28:57,750
I'm gonna do 600 push-ups
and then throw up in the sink.
673
00:28:58,124 --> 00:29:00,541
I'll see you later
at the Halfway Home Party.
674
00:29:00,625 --> 00:29:01,500
MAN: Is-- Is that true?
675
00:29:01,583 --> 00:29:03,375
Well, it was true
when I said it.
676
00:29:03,458 --> 00:29:04,792
Like a marriage vow.
677
00:29:05,500 --> 00:29:08,583
This party is going to be
an orgy of the gods.
678
00:29:08,958 --> 00:29:10,750
-So firm.
-Well... (STUTTERS)
679
00:29:10,833 --> 00:29:12,249
Firm is my middle name.
680
00:29:12,333 --> 00:29:14,416
-WOMAN: What's your first name?
-Colin.
681
00:29:14,708 --> 00:29:16,999
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
52795
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