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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,083 --> 00:00:02,416 -who died in the French famine? -Très tragic. 2 00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:04,708 We need to shit on that vigil. How do we do that? 3 00:00:04,792 --> 00:00:06,833 -Actors. -They gotta be sad-looking 4 00:00:06,917 --> 00:00:07,708 and non-union. 5 00:00:07,917 --> 00:00:09,583 Hmm, one thing usually means the other. 6 00:00:10,333 --> 00:00:13,166 -Where is the real captain? -He's... 7 00:00:13,375 --> 00:00:15,166 Uh-uh. No. That's not happening. 8 00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:19,375 We are trapped here unless I show leadership. 9 00:00:19,458 --> 00:00:20,458 And I need you 10 00:00:20,541 --> 00:00:22,375 -to help me do that. -Give me one of those. 11 00:00:22,625 --> 00:00:24,416 -(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -Yes? 12 00:00:24,500 --> 00:00:25,999 What's the impact on the voyage? 13 00:00:26,208 --> 00:00:28,750 Three years plus six months. 14 00:00:28,958 --> 00:00:30,583 -(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -BILLIE MCEVOY: Do you notice 15 00:00:30,667 --> 00:00:33,792 anything about this oddly good-looking group of people? 16 00:00:34,166 --> 00:00:36,625 They're actors. Meet your real engineers. 17 00:00:36,708 --> 00:00:38,333 What is this, a betting syndicate? 18 00:00:38,416 --> 00:00:40,917 Hey, man. Uh... Captain. 19 00:00:48,083 --> 00:00:49,917 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 20 00:00:51,999 --> 00:00:55,041 (RYAN HUMS) 21 00:00:55,124 --> 00:00:58,792 Owner on the bridge. Everybody, carry on as normal. 22 00:00:58,875 --> 00:00:59,875 Why wouldn't you? 23 00:00:59,958 --> 00:01:02,458 What's going on in here? Smells tense. 24 00:01:02,541 --> 00:01:04,375 (DANISH ACCENT) Tense is my middle name. 25 00:01:04,458 --> 00:01:06,166 Tense is my middle name! 26 00:01:08,291 --> 00:01:11,917 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Oh, bugger. I'm still here. 27 00:01:11,999 --> 00:01:14,375 SPIKE MARTIN: Captain, I'm gonna get a gander on some of this stuff, 28 00:01:14,458 --> 00:01:15,708 because I think that-- 29 00:01:15,792 --> 00:01:17,541 (AMERICAN ACCENT) Oh, no! Sorry, can't... 30 00:01:17,625 --> 00:01:20,416 Can't let you see that, because then I'd have 31 00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:22,249 to sleep with you to find out what you saw, 32 00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:25,208 -and then kill you. (LAUGHS) -(LAUGHS) We've all been there! 33 00:01:25,541 --> 00:01:26,750 Oh. 34 00:01:26,833 --> 00:01:28,792 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 35 00:01:32,291 --> 00:01:36,708 Hi. I'm your captain, Ryan Clark. How are you doing? 36 00:01:36,792 --> 00:01:38,083 (ENGLISH ACCENT) No, how are you doing? 37 00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:39,416 No, how are you doing? 38 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:40,625 You tell me. No, you tell me. 39 00:01:40,708 --> 00:01:42,875 You tell me, arsehole! 40 00:01:42,958 --> 00:01:45,041 ♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 41 00:01:52,917 --> 00:01:55,083 Let's look at what's trending this hour. 42 00:01:55,166 --> 00:01:59,416 Avenue 5 is stuck in space. I don't think I'm alone 43 00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:01,917 in thinking, "Thank fuck I'm not on that ship!" 44 00:02:01,999 --> 00:02:03,833 The passengers are angry, as I would be 45 00:02:03,917 --> 00:02:06,583 if I had their crappy lives. Good morning. 46 00:02:06,667 --> 00:02:07,833 MAN: Shove your attitude. 47 00:02:07,917 --> 00:02:09,625 Anyone giving negative comments should be blacklisted 48 00:02:09,708 --> 00:02:11,958 from all future voyages. How would they like that? 49 00:02:12,041 --> 00:02:13,541 I imagine they might like that a lot. 50 00:02:15,708 --> 00:02:17,041 Well, this feels real. 51 00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:23,917 (AMERICAN ACCENT) Morning, ma'am! A new dawn has broken. 52 00:02:23,999 --> 00:02:26,958 So has our toilet. We're not animals, you know. 53 00:02:27,041 --> 00:02:29,166 Right. I will-- I will talk to Matt about that. 54 00:02:29,249 --> 00:02:31,166 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Good luck pissing in the basement 55 00:02:31,249 --> 00:02:32,541 for the next three years. 56 00:02:32,625 --> 00:02:35,041 Good morning, captain. Oh, you look haunted. 57 00:02:35,124 --> 00:02:35,999 Thanks. 58 00:02:36,083 --> 00:02:37,291 How are you adjusting to all of this? 59 00:02:37,375 --> 00:02:38,541 Well, you know, 60 00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:41,249 just a little bit curious as to why you never told me 61 00:02:41,333 --> 00:02:43,667 that the whole crew are a bunch of fakes who have been 62 00:02:43,750 --> 00:02:44,999 shat out of Julliard. 63 00:02:45,083 --> 00:02:48,124 Well, I didn't think you would react well. 64 00:02:48,208 --> 00:02:50,458 Here you are, hissing at me in a hallway. 65 00:02:50,541 --> 00:02:52,833 This is radiation. 66 00:02:52,917 --> 00:02:55,833 And that moon-botherer is real. You couldn't make that up. 67 00:02:55,917 --> 00:03:00,875 Now, ships are constantly being bombarded by cosmic rays. 68 00:03:00,958 --> 00:03:03,124 It's deadly! So, how do we fight it off? 69 00:03:03,208 --> 00:03:04,958 Ooh, I know, I know! Poop! 70 00:03:05,041 --> 00:03:06,208 -Uh-- -(CHILDREN LAUGHING) 71 00:03:06,291 --> 00:03:07,750 Smart kid! Zeke is right. 72 00:03:07,833 --> 00:03:10,833 A shield of human waste protects us from radiation. 73 00:03:10,917 --> 00:03:12,999 (AMERICAN ACCENT) That's why they call it the poop deck! 74 00:03:13,083 --> 00:03:14,249 -(LAUGHTER) -No. 75 00:03:14,333 --> 00:03:15,917 It's from the French for "stern." 76 00:03:15,999 --> 00:03:17,208 (LAUGHS) 77 00:03:17,291 --> 00:03:20,750 I'd close your mouth, because it's not a joke. 78 00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:22,792 Every ship has a turd cloak. 79 00:03:22,875 --> 00:03:23,958 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Has a what? 80 00:03:24,041 --> 00:03:25,958 You don't know about the wetsuit? 81 00:03:26,041 --> 00:03:29,166 (LAUGHS) Look at you, listening in on us! 82 00:03:29,249 --> 00:03:30,999 -(RYAN CHUCKLES) -Well, no, he knows everything. 83 00:03:31,083 --> 00:03:32,083 He's the captain. 84 00:03:32,166 --> 00:03:34,208 (AMERICAN ACCENT) They call me Mr. Wetsuit. 85 00:03:34,291 --> 00:03:36,416 That's one of the things we call him. (LAUGHS) 86 00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:39,416 Oh, look! Who is missing a genius? 87 00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:40,917 -Over here! -Okay. 88 00:03:40,999 --> 00:03:42,875 Maybe I should learn about this stuff. 89 00:03:42,958 --> 00:03:45,041 -Space and so on. -(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 90 00:03:45,124 --> 00:03:47,083 Uh... I'll, um... I'll explain it to you. 91 00:03:47,166 --> 00:03:49,875 So, all this technology, and still, human feces 92 00:03:49,958 --> 00:03:52,166 is the best way to not get cancer in space, 93 00:03:52,249 --> 00:03:56,124 which reminds me, vent the wetsuit. 94 00:03:56,208 --> 00:03:58,124 (ENGLISH ACCENT) You know what I have written on my hand? 95 00:03:58,208 --> 00:04:00,291 -What? -"Unclench me." 96 00:04:00,375 --> 00:04:01,875 WOMAN: Hey, asshole, I want my life back. 97 00:04:01,958 --> 00:04:03,375 -IRIS KIMURA: Thank you. -HERMAN JUDD: Oh, man. 98 00:04:03,458 --> 00:04:06,917 I don't wanna go the same way as Richard Branson! 99 00:04:06,999 --> 00:04:09,458 Fed to his own pigs on his private island. 100 00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:12,041 It's still early. The passengers get easier to wrangle 101 00:04:12,124 --> 00:04:13,083 after the first drink. 102 00:04:13,166 --> 00:04:15,500 The financial stuff, tell me honestly, Iris-- 103 00:04:15,583 --> 00:04:17,458 -Yes, I do. -I didn't even ask the question! 104 00:04:17,541 --> 00:04:20,458 "Do you think we're fucked, financially?" Answer: yes, I do. 105 00:04:20,541 --> 00:04:24,625 Oh. I don't like being unhappy, Iris. I just don't like it. 106 00:04:24,708 --> 00:04:25,875 IRIS: You get used to it. 107 00:04:25,958 --> 00:04:27,625 Do you verbally consent to a hug? 108 00:04:27,708 --> 00:04:29,583 Ugh. 109 00:04:29,667 --> 00:04:32,249 Oh. Here's an idea to get people to like you. 110 00:04:32,333 --> 00:04:34,458 Drinks. Here. Cocktail party. 111 00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:36,208 All the passengers, meet them in batches. 112 00:04:36,291 --> 00:04:38,875 Yeah. Maybe someone will hug me there. 113 00:04:38,958 --> 00:04:41,291 All right, so, journey time... (MUTTERING) 114 00:04:41,375 --> 00:04:43,541 Okay, so you can meet 19 people a week. 115 00:04:43,625 --> 00:04:46,166 Nineteen. Odd number. Don't people come in couples? 116 00:04:46,249 --> 00:04:48,917 No. Widows, widowers, priests, ugly people. 117 00:04:48,999 --> 00:04:51,458 -You're not a couple. -Neither was Zeus. 118 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:54,750 -And I'm basically Zeus. -He married his sister. 119 00:04:54,833 --> 00:04:57,708 (SHUDDERS) My sister would make a selfish bride. 120 00:04:57,792 --> 00:05:00,500 IRIS: Okay, so the batch parties are a go. 121 00:05:00,583 --> 00:05:03,416 Where we at in terms of the vigil? 122 00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:06,083 Did you fill it, like I asked, but didn't ask? 123 00:05:06,166 --> 00:05:07,625 I don't know what you're talking about. 124 00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:09,291 Remember I told you that I wanted-- 125 00:05:09,375 --> 00:05:11,416 Oh, you're doing a whole deniability thing. 126 00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:13,500 You only need to do that in front of other people. 127 00:05:13,583 --> 00:05:14,792 People, not half-people. 128 00:05:14,875 --> 00:05:18,375 There's no air resistance, so we're just sailing on, right? 129 00:05:18,458 --> 00:05:21,249 But what's the, um... What's the Rafer valve? 130 00:05:21,333 --> 00:05:22,958 I've already told you this one. 131 00:05:23,041 --> 00:05:24,583 I thought you were Mr. Wetsuit. 132 00:05:24,667 --> 00:05:28,041 Come on, Zeke, please! I said I would give you pens. 133 00:05:28,124 --> 00:05:32,416 And that is how I saved the entire ship! 134 00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,833 SPIKE: This is a bright kid. 135 00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:36,583 He's probably hoping he'll grow up one day 136 00:05:36,667 --> 00:05:39,083 -and be like old Spikey, huh? -Not really. 137 00:05:39,708 --> 00:05:41,208 That's a little harsh. 138 00:05:41,625 --> 00:05:44,625 Oh! Oh. Punk. 139 00:05:44,708 --> 00:05:46,083 Hey, um... Hey, where's your-- 140 00:05:46,166 --> 00:05:47,999 Where's your mom and her fellow moms? 141 00:05:48,083 --> 00:05:50,875 -Oh, uh, she's over there. -Oh. Thank you. 142 00:05:53,375 --> 00:05:54,958 No, she's not. She's over there. 143 00:05:58,917 --> 00:06:01,917 That's... That's pretty smooth. 144 00:06:01,999 --> 00:06:03,999 PROTESTOR: I worry about the victims. 145 00:06:04,083 --> 00:06:05,833 But one of the biggest victims 146 00:06:05,917 --> 00:06:08,416 is Mr. Judd and the Judd Corporation. 147 00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:11,999 I blame NASA's refusal to honor code 346 148 00:06:12,083 --> 00:06:14,458 of the International Space Treaties. 149 00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:16,958 Is he just saying that off the top of his head? 150 00:06:17,041 --> 00:06:18,833 Why do you find it so odd? 151 00:06:18,917 --> 00:06:20,792 Who knows what stage of grief he's at. 152 00:06:20,875 --> 00:06:22,291 There's no stage of grief known as 153 00:06:22,375 --> 00:06:23,625 "fluency in international space law"! 154 00:06:23,708 --> 00:06:27,041 The question of liability is up for debate. 155 00:06:27,124 --> 00:06:30,833 What is your problem? He looks the part. It's perfect casting. 156 00:06:30,917 --> 00:06:32,416 Casting? What the-- Oh. 157 00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:33,667 They're actors. 158 00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:34,750 The-- He's an actor! 159 00:06:34,833 --> 00:06:36,625 Well, if it took you this long to work it out, 160 00:06:36,708 --> 00:06:39,291 -what is the problem? -ALAN: That's a good point. -RAV MULCAIR: Shut up, Alan. 161 00:06:39,375 --> 00:06:40,708 It'll look terrible if it gets out 162 00:06:40,792 --> 00:06:42,999 that we're paying actors to get public support! 163 00:06:44,124 --> 00:06:45,291 Send them home! 164 00:06:45,375 --> 00:06:48,166 Won't that look terrible? If the vigil suddenly disperses? 165 00:06:48,249 --> 00:06:49,999 -Yeah, good point. -RAV: Shut up, both of you. 166 00:06:50,792 --> 00:06:51,875 Actually, that is a good point. 167 00:06:51,958 --> 00:06:54,124 -Uh, I'm not-- -Shut up, Alan. 168 00:06:54,208 --> 00:06:57,541 (SIGHS) Okay. Mads, let's see what you've learnt. 169 00:06:57,625 --> 00:06:59,375 What is your engineering clearance level? 170 00:06:59,458 --> 00:07:00,416 High. 171 00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:02,833 No, it's a number between one and 100. 172 00:07:03,166 --> 00:07:04,291 Uh... 100? 173 00:07:04,375 --> 00:07:06,249 Guys, come on, this is not community theater! 174 00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:09,333 You've gotta know this stuff like you know your own names. 175 00:07:09,416 --> 00:07:11,917 Do you mean our names, or our character names? 176 00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:13,667 (ENGLISH ACCENT) What? Oh, don't tell me 177 00:07:13,750 --> 00:07:17,124 -Mads isn't your real name. -No, no. No. I'm Colin. 178 00:07:17,208 --> 00:07:18,583 Oh, for f-- 179 00:07:18,667 --> 00:07:21,792 No offense, but that is a placeholder name if ever I heard one. 180 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:22,833 (CLEARS THROAT) 181 00:07:22,917 --> 00:07:24,208 BILLIE MCEVOY: Yes, what's your name? 182 00:07:24,291 --> 00:07:25,208 Uh, Sarah. 183 00:07:25,291 --> 00:07:26,625 -Sarah. -Is that your real name? 184 00:07:26,708 --> 00:07:30,208 Oh, it's also Sarah. That's why I got the part, I think. 185 00:07:30,291 --> 00:07:31,999 Right. So, who are you right now? 186 00:07:32,083 --> 00:07:33,124 -Now? -Yeah. 187 00:07:33,208 --> 00:07:34,208 Sarah. 188 00:07:34,291 --> 00:07:36,416 No, uh, but are you actual Sarah, 189 00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:38,166 or are you in character? 190 00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:40,041 -Yes. -Which? 191 00:07:40,792 --> 00:07:42,249 What was the question, sorry? 192 00:07:42,333 --> 00:07:44,458 Oh, Judith of Norwich. 193 00:07:44,541 --> 00:07:47,792 This is why they should slash art funding to the bones. 194 00:07:47,875 --> 00:07:50,458 (CLEARS THROAT) Sorry, quick motivation question. 195 00:07:50,541 --> 00:07:52,999 -Yes, Sarah. -How is Sarah responding, 196 00:07:53,083 --> 00:07:55,833 now that she knows that the captain's fake? 197 00:07:55,917 --> 00:07:58,833 No, he's not! I am not fake! 198 00:07:58,917 --> 00:08:01,041 I am-- I am solid, I am dependable, 199 00:08:01,124 --> 00:08:03,166 I am un-fucking-flappable! 200 00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:04,333 -Right. -RYAN: I know that... 201 00:08:04,416 --> 00:08:05,792 I'm not coming out that way right now, 202 00:08:05,875 --> 00:08:08,833 but that's what you... what you all have to remember. 203 00:08:08,917 --> 00:08:09,958 After all, if I was fake, 204 00:08:10,041 --> 00:08:12,083 I would not know what a Roofie valve is. 205 00:08:12,166 --> 00:08:13,249 Uh, a Rafer valve. 206 00:08:13,333 --> 00:08:15,458 Right. Well, I got the word "valve" right. 207 00:08:15,541 --> 00:08:16,500 Yes, you did. 208 00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:18,291 Can we just stick to the script? All right? 209 00:08:18,375 --> 00:08:19,958 Or is that not something they taught you 210 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:21,667 at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Sarahs? 211 00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:24,999 Okay, so, my character doesn't know that you're fake. 212 00:08:25,083 --> 00:08:27,667 Okay, I've got that. That is actually quite a good note. 213 00:08:27,750 --> 00:08:29,500 You're gonna make a note of the note? 214 00:08:29,583 --> 00:08:31,999 -Yeah. "Doesn't know..." -(RYAN SIGHS) 215 00:08:32,083 --> 00:08:35,083 This is just hopeless. I don't even believe they're actors. 216 00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:38,750 You've got to take me to the real crew, real fast. 217 00:08:39,708 --> 00:08:41,500 (DANISH ACCENT) Okay, fly safe, cap. 218 00:08:41,583 --> 00:08:43,249 Oh, fuck off, Colin! 219 00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:47,500 -I had drinks with Rav. -Who is my best friend. 220 00:08:47,583 --> 00:08:49,166 'Cause I needed someone to talk to 221 00:08:49,249 --> 00:08:50,708 after my wife made a cuck-hold of me. 222 00:08:50,792 --> 00:08:53,750 Okay, "cuck-hold"? there is no "h" in "cuckold." 223 00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:55,166 You idiot. Right? 224 00:08:55,249 --> 00:08:57,792 Now you're getting another man to spell "cuckold" for me. 225 00:08:57,875 --> 00:08:59,124 -Mm-hmm. -DOUG: We had drinks. 226 00:08:59,208 --> 00:09:01,667 We were talking and I got emotional. 227 00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,375 And I accidentally kissed her neck. 228 00:09:03,458 --> 00:09:06,291 -How do you accidentally kiss somebody's neck? -But I didn't have full sex. 229 00:09:06,375 --> 00:09:08,124 Oh, well, when have you ever done that, Doug? 230 00:09:08,208 --> 00:09:10,625 -Can I just get my own cabin? -Yes! Please! 231 00:09:10,708 --> 00:09:13,291 If I have to watch him carefully dry his balls 232 00:09:13,375 --> 00:09:15,041 one more time, I'm gonna kill myself. 233 00:09:15,124 --> 00:09:17,208 I have a male yeast infection. It's a real i-- 234 00:09:17,291 --> 00:09:18,875 -(SIGHS) -Would you rather I carelessly 235 00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:20,291 dry my balls? 236 00:09:20,375 --> 00:09:22,667 Okay, this is all very informative. 237 00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:24,667 Are you taking notes? 238 00:09:26,083 --> 00:09:27,875 -What? -How long has that been up there? 239 00:09:27,958 --> 00:09:31,166 Now, the word cloud is in your room 240 00:09:31,249 --> 00:09:32,291 on all the screens. 241 00:09:32,375 --> 00:09:34,583 -What? Can we get rid of it? -No. 242 00:09:34,667 --> 00:09:37,124 You can add words to it, but you can't remove any. 243 00:09:37,208 --> 00:09:40,249 When you get back there, you're gonna see words like 244 00:09:40,333 --> 00:09:43,083 -"Neck." "Male bitch." -Mm-hmm. 245 00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:45,041 "The beast of yeast." 246 00:09:45,124 --> 00:09:47,958 You're gonna see words like "Emotional ragdoll." 247 00:09:48,041 --> 00:09:52,500 "Chunky millstone." "Fucker." "Worm-dicked little fucker." 248 00:09:52,583 --> 00:09:54,625 Who put that word on there? We didn't say that word. 249 00:09:54,708 --> 00:09:55,875 -I'd said it. -When? 250 00:09:55,958 --> 00:09:57,291 Before you got here. 251 00:09:57,792 --> 00:09:59,750 "Stank-ass balls." 252 00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,750 Yeah, I said you can shove your stank-ass balls 253 00:10:01,833 --> 00:10:03,249 in your mouth and choke on them and die. 254 00:10:03,333 --> 00:10:05,083 How much work did you guys do before I got here? 255 00:10:05,166 --> 00:10:06,958 She got here 45 minutes early. 256 00:10:08,667 --> 00:10:10,958 I think we did really good work today. 257 00:10:11,041 --> 00:10:12,416 -Yeah. -MATT SPENCER: So, you're at peace? 258 00:10:12,500 --> 00:10:14,708 I'm gonna go fix some other passengers now. 259 00:10:14,792 --> 00:10:16,541 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 260 00:10:16,625 --> 00:10:18,083 ENGINEER 1: Bleed wetsuit in five minutes. 261 00:10:18,166 --> 00:10:20,124 ENGINEER 2: And venting ion drive in two. 262 00:10:20,208 --> 00:10:23,875 BILLIE: Heads up, guys! Faux Capitano in the house! 263 00:10:28,458 --> 00:10:29,541 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Morning. 264 00:10:31,458 --> 00:10:34,958 Sorry it took me so long to realize that you existed. 265 00:10:35,041 --> 00:10:36,625 No problem. 266 00:10:36,708 --> 00:10:39,875 So, popcorn and dirty jokes. Who's in? 267 00:10:39,958 --> 00:10:41,208 -(LAUGHTER) -So, she said, 268 00:10:41,291 --> 00:10:43,166 "Wait a minute, well, then, who was that on the ladder?" 269 00:10:43,249 --> 00:10:47,166 -(LAUGHTER) -(BILLIE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY) 270 00:10:48,750 --> 00:10:51,999 I want that as a ringtone. I definitely do! 271 00:10:52,083 --> 00:10:55,792 Wow. Seriously, though, on a scale of one 272 00:10:55,875 --> 00:10:59,333 to "we're all going to die," how fucked did you think 273 00:10:59,416 --> 00:11:01,708 we were when we found out that I'm just a beard 274 00:11:01,792 --> 00:11:03,750 in a Sergeant Pepper uniform? 275 00:11:03,833 --> 00:11:06,124 Uh, actually, we've been taking bets on how long you'd last. 276 00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:07,999 Uh, yeah. You owe me 50 bucks. 277 00:11:08,083 --> 00:11:09,375 (LAUGHTER) 278 00:11:09,458 --> 00:11:11,917 I'm-- I'm laughing because I'm terrified! 279 00:11:11,999 --> 00:11:13,375 (LAUGHTER) 280 00:11:13,458 --> 00:11:16,750 Do you love to drink? I know my dad did. 281 00:11:16,833 --> 00:11:19,958 Why don't you come down and enjoy a nice, cold glass... 282 00:11:20,041 --> 00:11:22,667 Hey, Clara. That's a beautiful top. 283 00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:24,124 Catastrophe-chic! 284 00:11:24,208 --> 00:11:26,249 -Hey, Spike. -Hey, pal. 285 00:11:26,333 --> 00:11:28,792 Have you ever masturbated to a constellation? 286 00:11:28,875 --> 00:11:32,333 Yes. Once. Gemini. Twins! 287 00:11:32,416 --> 00:11:34,625 Hey! What are you guys talking about? 288 00:11:34,708 --> 00:11:37,291 -Star clusters. -What about you, Frank? 289 00:11:37,375 --> 00:11:39,416 Three years, time to find the new you? 290 00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:41,792 Yeah, that's funny, my dad had a funny expression. 291 00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:46,166 He used to say, "Frank, moderation in all things, 292 00:11:46,249 --> 00:11:47,625 including moderation." 293 00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:49,291 Um, that's moderately funny. 294 00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:53,875 Okay, Frank, what's the craziest thing you've ever done? 295 00:11:53,958 --> 00:11:55,833 Taking out a bridge loan. 296 00:11:55,917 --> 00:11:58,166 What's the craziest thing you've ever wanted to do? 297 00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:02,208 I've always wanted to wear a necklace. 298 00:12:02,291 --> 00:12:04,541 Not a jewelry kind, but a leather one. 299 00:12:04,625 --> 00:12:06,708 -Uh-huh. -Maybe with a shell. 300 00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:08,166 All right. 301 00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:09,500 Why stop with a shell? 302 00:12:09,583 --> 00:12:12,416 Maybe you could wear, I don't know, a dolphin dick. 303 00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:15,667 Yeah, oh, yeah, a dolphin dick. Hard to come by, though. 304 00:12:15,750 --> 00:12:18,208 -Or you could grow a ponytail. -(SIGHS) 305 00:12:18,291 --> 00:12:20,249 -Like Spike. -No, he couldn't. Few can. 306 00:12:20,333 --> 00:12:23,625 I have peculiarly muscular follicles. 307 00:12:23,708 --> 00:12:25,999 You can be any Frank you want. 308 00:12:26,083 --> 00:12:28,124 -SPIKE: Go for it, Frank. -Right? 309 00:12:28,208 --> 00:12:29,249 Great. 310 00:12:29,333 --> 00:12:32,083 -You could be punk rock Frank. -(LAUGHS) 311 00:12:32,166 --> 00:12:33,541 Huh? 312 00:12:33,625 --> 00:12:35,541 You could be Christian Scientist Frank. 313 00:12:35,625 --> 00:12:38,333 -Occasionally gay Frank. -Maybe. 314 00:12:38,416 --> 00:12:41,208 -Slightly racist Frank! -Frank the fiend. 315 00:12:41,291 --> 00:12:44,083 You could be whatever the fuck you want. Okay? 316 00:12:44,166 --> 00:12:45,750 -Yes. -You want another Judd martini? 317 00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:46,708 What was that? 318 00:12:46,792 --> 00:12:48,625 Do you want another Judd martini? 319 00:12:50,708 --> 00:12:52,667 -Yes. Yes, yes. -Yes, you do! Yes. 320 00:12:52,750 --> 00:12:54,750 -Hell-- Hell yes! -Yes, you do! 321 00:12:54,833 --> 00:12:57,208 Olivia, can we get another martini for the man? 322 00:12:57,291 --> 00:12:59,667 -No olive this time, please. -Make it dirty. 323 00:13:01,792 --> 00:13:04,667 N-- Strictly 19 people, Mrs. Hines. 324 00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:06,124 I have you down as widowed. 325 00:13:06,208 --> 00:13:08,500 Yes, but James is my new friend, and I thought-- 326 00:13:08,583 --> 00:13:10,416 Wow, I guess grief wants what it wants, right? 327 00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:12,541 All right, uh, couples, stand together, please, 328 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,208 and I will approach you as a double unit, okay? 329 00:13:17,541 --> 00:13:19,458 Iris-- Iris! 330 00:13:19,541 --> 00:13:21,249 Can you please take care of the widow? 331 00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:22,999 She's very clingy. 332 00:13:23,083 --> 00:13:26,375 Hi. Herman Judd, mogul. You know that already, though, don't you? 333 00:13:26,458 --> 00:13:28,291 -(LAUGHS) -You guys look great together. 334 00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:30,458 You make a very successful merger. 335 00:13:30,541 --> 00:13:33,875 That's CEO talk. That's CEO talk. Hug? 336 00:13:33,958 --> 00:13:35,208 -Oh. -(CHUCKLES) 337 00:13:36,041 --> 00:13:38,999 (WHISPERING) One, two, three. 338 00:13:39,083 --> 00:13:41,083 I got it. I did the math in my head. 339 00:13:41,166 --> 00:13:43,875 Three-second rule, am I right? Didn't that feel nice? 340 00:13:43,958 --> 00:13:46,792 And nobody crossed any lines. Look at all these smiles! 341 00:13:46,875 --> 00:13:49,124 I-- I-- There's a laundry cart blockade on-- 342 00:13:49,208 --> 00:13:50,458 What's that? Good, good. 343 00:13:50,541 --> 00:13:52,917 Why don't you guys make your way over by the skulls over there, 344 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,583 all four Beatles. 345 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,166 Hi. Herman Judd, entreprenaut. 346 00:13:57,249 --> 00:13:58,625 So, do we have to keep paying 347 00:13:58,708 --> 00:14:00,291 now that we're stranded out here, or-- 348 00:14:00,375 --> 00:14:02,750 You know what, why don't I give you guys 349 00:14:02,833 --> 00:14:04,333 a private tour of my own quarters? 350 00:14:04,416 --> 00:14:05,833 We're gonna shake things up. 351 00:14:05,917 --> 00:14:08,375 What we have to do is we have to transform 352 00:14:08,458 --> 00:14:11,999 those faulty sex bots upstairs from risible into plausible. 353 00:14:12,083 --> 00:14:14,083 They have to be absolutely convincing, 354 00:14:14,166 --> 00:14:16,667 especially Sarah-slash-Sarah, 355 00:14:16,750 --> 00:14:19,500 who is driving me slash-wrists insane. 356 00:14:19,583 --> 00:14:21,750 -(LAUGHTER) -(BILLIE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY) 357 00:14:23,249 --> 00:14:24,500 -CYRUS: I have an idea. -That's funny. 358 00:14:24,583 --> 00:14:27,833 What if we connect a real comms link 359 00:14:27,917 --> 00:14:29,458 to their prop headsets? 360 00:14:29,541 --> 00:14:33,041 That is brilliant! You see, that is exactly the sort of idea 361 00:14:33,124 --> 00:14:35,416 I should've had if I weren't a complete fraud. 362 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:36,917 (LAUGHTER) 363 00:14:36,999 --> 00:14:39,375 We could tell them exactly what to say. 364 00:14:39,458 --> 00:14:41,541 So, you wouldn't have Nadia sitting there like, 365 00:14:41,625 --> 00:14:44,375 (FRENCH ACCENT) "I'm Nadia, and I'm nominal." 366 00:14:44,458 --> 00:14:47,208 (GIGGLES) "And the systems are nominal." (GIGGLES) 367 00:14:47,291 --> 00:14:49,625 (DANISH ACCENT) Oh, hey, my name is Mads, and I am from 368 00:14:49,708 --> 00:14:52,375 -Spain or somewhere. -(LAUGHTER) 369 00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,541 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Uh, hi, my name is Ryan, 370 00:14:54,625 --> 00:14:56,583 and I'm a captain and an alcoholic. 371 00:14:56,667 --> 00:14:58,249 (LAUGHTER AND GASPING) 372 00:14:58,333 --> 00:15:00,667 Uh, that's-- that's-- that's actually not true. 373 00:15:00,750 --> 00:15:01,917 I'm not a captain. 374 00:15:04,625 --> 00:15:06,249 One of my prized possessions. 375 00:15:06,333 --> 00:15:09,041 First edition of Billy McFarland's book. 376 00:15:09,124 --> 00:15:11,375 This was way before he became head of the FBI. 377 00:15:11,458 --> 00:15:16,458 Here are the skulls of all four Beatles. 378 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,500 All signed. Not by them, obviously. 379 00:15:18,583 --> 00:15:20,208 That would be impossible. I signed them. 380 00:15:20,291 --> 00:15:25,083 This is how it all began. This is when I had my big idea. 381 00:15:25,166 --> 00:15:27,667 This is... not the original. I threw that one out. 382 00:15:28,917 --> 00:15:31,583 So, I'd better go and have another drink now. 383 00:15:31,667 --> 00:15:34,375 One of Judd's "my parents never loved me" parties. 384 00:15:34,458 --> 00:15:35,500 (LAUGHTER) 385 00:15:35,583 --> 00:15:37,667 -Fly safe! -Fly drunk! 386 00:15:37,750 --> 00:15:41,333 (CHUCKLING) How do you do it? I thought they'd hate you. 387 00:15:41,416 --> 00:15:43,083 If it's any consolation, I hate me. 388 00:15:43,166 --> 00:15:45,500 So, what does your husband do? 389 00:15:45,583 --> 00:15:48,541 He's dead. He died in a fire three months ago. 390 00:15:48,625 --> 00:15:52,041 Oh, right, right. The widow. Uh, we-- we've mingled already. 391 00:15:52,124 --> 00:15:54,708 No weather in space. Right? 392 00:15:57,041 --> 00:15:59,333 Makes it hard to talk about the weather, 393 00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:00,792 which I'm kind of illustrating. 394 00:16:00,875 --> 00:16:04,792 I'm sorry, I don't understand the nature of what you are. 395 00:16:04,875 --> 00:16:07,833 Yeah, my nature is currently evolving. Look at this. Look. 396 00:16:07,917 --> 00:16:09,750 (AMERICAN ACCENT) Anybody order a captain? 397 00:16:09,833 --> 00:16:11,124 -Judd champagne? -Thank you. 398 00:16:11,208 --> 00:16:14,041 Have you seen Mr. Judd's skulls of the four Beatles? 399 00:16:14,124 --> 00:16:16,792 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Four Beatles? John Lennon was cremated, wasn't he? 400 00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:18,208 All right, keep that to yourself. 401 00:16:18,291 --> 00:16:20,708 I think one of the skulls is actually Micky Dolenz. 402 00:16:22,667 --> 00:16:25,083 Oh, that is just pure arse juice. 403 00:16:25,166 --> 00:16:27,708 I don't believe we've had the pleasure. Herman Judd. 404 00:16:27,792 --> 00:16:29,124 Oh! Karen Kelly. 405 00:16:29,208 --> 00:16:32,333 Ah! Great. Your, uh, nails are very long and very sharp. 406 00:16:32,416 --> 00:16:35,625 Thank you! I've been practicing my handshake since grade school. 407 00:16:35,708 --> 00:16:37,208 -Did she break the skin? -No. 408 00:16:37,291 --> 00:16:40,792 Okay, good. I like you. You know how to handle people. 409 00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:43,208 Basically a cattle prod in a dress. 410 00:16:43,291 --> 00:16:44,792 Enjoying your wine, captain? 411 00:16:44,875 --> 00:16:45,958 JUDD: Mm! 412 00:16:46,041 --> 00:16:49,375 Now, Karen, putting your passenger hat on for a second, 413 00:16:49,458 --> 00:16:51,999 what more can Iris be doing? 414 00:16:52,083 --> 00:16:56,333 Well, there's quite a divide between staff and passengers. 415 00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:59,500 -Mm. -Is that really Gone Girl on an original Kindle? 416 00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:00,708 Sorry, not now. We're talking. 417 00:17:00,792 --> 00:17:03,750 This is a restricted conversational area. Thank you. 418 00:17:04,875 --> 00:17:08,999 So, I would suggest, I don't know, maybe a photo? 419 00:17:09,083 --> 00:17:11,958 Everyone together, you know, laughing, hitting it off. 420 00:17:12,041 --> 00:17:14,500 -Maybe on the bridge! -(IRIS LAUGHS) 421 00:17:14,583 --> 00:17:16,583 -That's a shitty idea. -I love this idea. 422 00:17:16,667 --> 00:17:20,249 -As in, that idea is the shit! -So, we're all agreed 423 00:17:20,333 --> 00:17:23,166 that-- that Karen's idea is very much the shit. 424 00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:25,291 Claw lady's on to something. 425 00:17:25,375 --> 00:17:29,041 We show the people of Earth a moment of unity. 426 00:17:29,124 --> 00:17:31,208 We have another slingshot moment coming up 427 00:17:31,291 --> 00:17:33,416 in less than an hour, around Enceladus. 428 00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:37,041 This is perfect. We get a bunch of passengers on the bridge, 429 00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:38,333 get some Mr. Average 430 00:17:38,416 --> 00:17:40,541 to push that fake button we have for the kids. 431 00:17:40,625 --> 00:17:43,041 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Why would you put that idea into his head? 432 00:17:43,124 --> 00:17:45,083 If you could have put anything in there, 433 00:17:45,166 --> 00:17:46,375 why not general anesthetic? 434 00:17:46,458 --> 00:17:49,124 What is your problem, you big whinebag? 435 00:17:49,208 --> 00:17:50,750 Well, things on the bridge... 436 00:17:50,833 --> 00:17:52,708 Ah, it's a little fluid right now. 437 00:17:52,792 --> 00:17:55,166 Yeah, tell me about it. You're at 85 percent fluid. 438 00:17:55,249 --> 00:17:58,583 Look, you're always saying the crew are so professional. 439 00:17:58,667 --> 00:18:00,667 Yeah, I say a lot of things that are shit. 440 00:18:00,750 --> 00:18:02,041 -Don't you notice that? -Yeah. 441 00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:04,875 Enceladus is-- it's-- I don't like it, as a moon. 442 00:18:04,999 --> 00:18:07,500 All right, you middle-aged fuck buddies, here's the deal. 443 00:18:07,583 --> 00:18:09,917 Iris just sent word for it to be announced ship-wide. 444 00:18:09,999 --> 00:18:11,291 (SIGHS) Arse! 445 00:18:11,375 --> 00:18:13,625 Now, where are we at with the button-pusher? 446 00:18:13,708 --> 00:18:14,750 Mr. Average. 447 00:18:14,833 --> 00:18:16,375 Hey, sweetie. I have your purse. 448 00:18:16,458 --> 00:18:17,999 Oh, hi, honey. Thank you. 449 00:18:18,083 --> 00:18:22,333 Captain, Mr. Judd. Guys. Can I join the party? (LAUGHS) 450 00:18:22,416 --> 00:18:23,875 -(KAREN CHUCKLES) -JUDD: He'll do. 451 00:18:26,124 --> 00:18:28,500 I feel like I'm the prom queen or something. 452 00:18:28,583 --> 00:18:31,458 Drunk on cheap wine, I'm ready to lose my virginity. 453 00:18:31,541 --> 00:18:32,458 (LAUGHS) Yeah! 454 00:18:32,541 --> 00:18:34,333 And I would deflower you in a second! 455 00:18:34,416 --> 00:18:35,708 I am so proud of you, Frank! 456 00:18:35,792 --> 00:18:37,958 JUDD: Okay, so you'll hit the button, "Yay," 457 00:18:38,041 --> 00:18:40,208 cheering, cheering, cheering, moon-sling, 458 00:18:40,291 --> 00:18:41,625 and then everybody drinks a beer 459 00:18:41,708 --> 00:18:43,708 except for Iris. Iris is on duty. 460 00:18:43,792 --> 00:18:45,999 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 461 00:18:50,416 --> 00:18:52,999 You know, it was kinda nice, earlier, 462 00:18:53,083 --> 00:18:56,166 to talk, you know, like people, not barking like dogs. 463 00:18:56,249 --> 00:18:57,750 -Assholes. (LAUGHS) -(LAUGHS) Yeah. 464 00:18:57,833 --> 00:18:59,208 -Excuse me. -WAITER: Hi. 465 00:18:59,291 --> 00:19:00,958 Yes, I'd love a tiramisu. 466 00:19:01,041 --> 00:19:03,375 Oh, you know what, tiramisu me up too, buddy! 467 00:19:03,458 --> 00:19:06,333 Ah, I'm afraid there's only one left. 468 00:19:06,416 --> 00:19:11,375 So, for the next however long, we're out of tiramisu? 469 00:19:11,458 --> 00:19:14,500 -Yeah. -Oh, my God, this is big. 470 00:19:14,583 --> 00:19:17,333 -I'd better get it, then. -You'd better get it. 471 00:19:17,416 --> 00:19:19,500 To share, Doug! For us! 472 00:19:19,583 --> 00:19:23,124 Mm. Quote, you were here, "I better get it then." 473 00:19:23,208 --> 00:19:24,208 Not "us." 474 00:19:24,291 --> 00:19:26,333 Well, "Us better get it" isn't a sentence, Doug! 475 00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:29,792 God. Take that tiramisu and shove it right up your ass. 476 00:19:33,124 --> 00:19:35,500 You know what? Tira-me-su! (LAUGHS) Please. 477 00:19:35,583 --> 00:19:38,458 But not up my asshole. You can just put it right here on the table. 478 00:19:40,875 --> 00:19:43,500 (PIPE VIBRATES, THUDS) 479 00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:45,416 JUDD: Hey there. So, um... 480 00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:48,166 Have you, uh, been to the Judd jungle gym? 481 00:19:48,249 --> 00:19:50,792 And how did you hear about it? Targeted ad? Word of mouth? 482 00:19:50,875 --> 00:19:51,708 Your nanny? 483 00:19:51,792 --> 00:19:53,291 -MATT: How you doing, buddy? -I'm okay. 484 00:19:53,375 --> 00:19:54,833 -How old are you? -12. 485 00:19:54,917 --> 00:19:56,833 Oh, that's an awful age. 486 00:19:56,917 --> 00:19:58,999 When I was 12, I wanted to be a rapper. 487 00:19:59,083 --> 00:20:01,667 I tried to buy a gun, the whole deal. I was a mess. 488 00:20:01,750 --> 00:20:02,583 No. 489 00:20:02,667 --> 00:20:04,875 You should never speak to human beings. 490 00:20:04,958 --> 00:20:07,875 Well, I'm the head of passenger services! 491 00:20:07,958 --> 00:20:11,249 (AMERICAN ACCENT) Good evening, everybody. Excited? 492 00:20:13,208 --> 00:20:14,875 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Hey, is... 493 00:20:14,958 --> 00:20:18,500 So, Cyrus is ready to prompt Nadia with the commands, right? 494 00:20:18,583 --> 00:20:21,124 No, she's gonna do it herself. 495 00:20:21,208 --> 00:20:23,583 But she can't do it herself. She hasn't memorized them. 496 00:20:24,833 --> 00:20:26,291 Oh. You're in character. 497 00:20:26,375 --> 00:20:29,625 I do not know what you mean by "in character." 498 00:20:29,708 --> 00:20:33,083 -Okay, you're in character. -I'm being Sarah. 499 00:20:35,249 --> 00:20:37,208 Did you just-- Did you just wink at-- 500 00:20:37,291 --> 00:20:38,458 This button doesn't work, right? 501 00:20:38,541 --> 00:20:39,999 (DANISH ACCENT) No, no, it's not even connected, no. 502 00:20:40,083 --> 00:20:41,375 -Can I? Do you mind? -Of course. 503 00:20:41,458 --> 00:20:42,667 -(BEEPING) -Look at that! 504 00:20:42,750 --> 00:20:43,750 It's cool, right? 505 00:20:43,833 --> 00:20:46,333 That's so neat! Iris! Iris! 506 00:20:46,416 --> 00:20:48,583 Hey, I want one of these buttons for my room. 507 00:20:48,667 --> 00:20:50,708 RYAN: (AMERICAN ACCENT) Right, bridge crew, ready! 508 00:20:50,792 --> 00:20:52,291 The performing seals are ready. 509 00:20:52,375 --> 00:20:55,750 Whoa, disrespectful. Seals are pretty smart. 510 00:20:55,833 --> 00:20:57,917 The performing seals are ready. 511 00:20:57,999 --> 00:21:00,333 Only speak when I say your names! 512 00:21:00,416 --> 00:21:02,541 Nadia, slingshot is primed. 513 00:21:02,625 --> 00:21:05,583 -Slingshot is primed. -Go, go! 514 00:21:05,667 --> 00:21:07,083 Mads, engines. 515 00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:09,583 -MADS: Engines... -Go, go. 516 00:21:09,667 --> 00:21:12,458 -Sarah, trajectory. -SARAH: Trajectory... 517 00:21:17,375 --> 00:21:19,708 Guys, why is nobody answering their comms? 518 00:21:19,792 --> 00:21:21,208 Are you all out for the day? 519 00:21:21,291 --> 00:21:22,249 Welcome to engineering, 520 00:21:22,333 --> 00:21:24,541 or as I call it, prompting. Nadia-- 521 00:21:24,625 --> 00:21:26,375 There's a rupture in the turd shield. 522 00:21:26,458 --> 00:21:27,583 -What? -Yeah! 523 00:21:27,667 --> 00:21:30,083 -Tell me you vented it. Tell-- -Tell me you vented it! 524 00:21:30,166 --> 00:21:32,999 There is a shitstorm coming, and when I say "shit," 525 00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:35,458 I mean shit, and when I say "storm," 526 00:21:35,541 --> 00:21:37,792 I mean shit! 527 00:21:37,875 --> 00:21:40,625 -Look. -Oh, for fu-- fu-- fu-- 528 00:21:40,708 --> 00:21:41,833 Oh, fa-fa-fa! 529 00:21:45,625 --> 00:21:48,750 -Okay, remember, Frank. -I know how to work a button. 530 00:21:48,833 --> 00:21:50,416 "Press." It's "press" a button. 531 00:21:51,041 --> 00:21:51,958 Press a button. 532 00:21:52,041 --> 00:21:54,083 Are we still on protocol, team? 533 00:21:54,166 --> 00:21:57,375 Oui, protocol status is... nominal. 534 00:21:57,458 --> 00:22:00,833 Frank, you're the best. You're a fucking silverback. 535 00:22:00,917 --> 00:22:02,667 There are children here. 536 00:22:02,750 --> 00:22:04,416 Let's action slingshot. 537 00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:06,416 Thrusters are primed, Frank. Go. 538 00:22:08,458 --> 00:22:09,792 Go, go! 539 00:22:09,875 --> 00:22:11,333 (GASPING) 540 00:22:15,249 --> 00:22:16,500 I should've done it. 541 00:22:16,583 --> 00:22:18,333 What did I-- Did I-- What did I do? 542 00:22:18,416 --> 00:22:21,917 Invoking emergency headset protocol. 543 00:22:24,249 --> 00:22:26,541 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Cyrus? Billie? 544 00:22:26,625 --> 00:22:28,667 Was that a-- Was that a good shudder? 545 00:22:28,750 --> 00:22:30,667 Or a bad shudder? 546 00:22:30,750 --> 00:22:33,249 -(ALARM BLARING) -Ryan. Ryan, it's Billie. 547 00:22:33,333 --> 00:22:34,875 Someone forgot to vent the wetsuit. 548 00:22:34,958 --> 00:22:38,833 This is not good. Very code not good. Code bad! 549 00:22:38,917 --> 00:22:41,083 Ah, that's not really a code, though, is it? 550 00:22:43,249 --> 00:22:45,291 (AMERICAN ACCENT) Okay! Why don't we, uh, 551 00:22:45,375 --> 00:22:48,249 take another photograph? Get all the kids there. 552 00:22:48,333 --> 00:22:50,833 Nice big smiles, everybody. Right down to the front. 553 00:22:50,917 --> 00:22:52,333 Now, if you bunch in tight... 554 00:22:52,416 --> 00:22:53,541 BILLIE: Captain. (CLEARS THROAT) 555 00:22:53,625 --> 00:22:57,458 We are currently leaking human shit and piss 556 00:22:57,541 --> 00:22:59,333 live right now. 557 00:22:59,416 --> 00:23:01,124 -Wha-- -Or excrement and urine, 558 00:23:01,208 --> 00:23:02,166 if you're in first class. 559 00:23:02,249 --> 00:23:03,416 (ENGLISH ACCENT) The wetsuit is turds? 560 00:23:03,500 --> 00:23:05,375 That's exactly what it is. You want a brown star? 561 00:23:05,458 --> 00:23:08,041 Well, "crystal clear" might seem like 562 00:23:08,124 --> 00:23:10,541 an odd phrase to use right now, but I think you should've been 563 00:23:10,625 --> 00:23:11,958 crystal clear about this! 564 00:23:12,041 --> 00:23:14,708 I was. I explained this to you over at Spike's class, 565 00:23:14,792 --> 00:23:16,958 as did Spike, as did that little child. 566 00:23:17,041 --> 00:23:19,166 God, you don't feel like a massive idiot 567 00:23:19,249 --> 00:23:20,833 about that button thing, do you? 568 00:23:20,917 --> 00:23:23,333 'Cause you just have to let it go, honestly, 569 00:23:23,416 --> 00:23:24,541 because it will kill you. 570 00:23:24,625 --> 00:23:27,124 Oh, my fuck! Look at all that shit! 571 00:23:27,541 --> 00:23:28,833 (GASPING) 572 00:23:31,124 --> 00:23:33,583 MATT: So, the ship seems to be shitting itself, 573 00:23:33,667 --> 00:23:36,375 but don't get hung up on results, Frank. 574 00:23:36,458 --> 00:23:37,999 The journey is the destination. 575 00:23:38,083 --> 00:23:40,249 Iris, I'm hearing things right now that would worry me 576 00:23:40,333 --> 00:23:42,249 if they were true. Please tell me they're not true. 577 00:23:42,333 --> 00:23:44,083 -They're all lies. -Oh, thank God. Wait! 578 00:23:44,166 --> 00:23:47,083 You're just saying that because I told you to, aren't you? 579 00:23:47,166 --> 00:23:48,208 -Yes. -Oh, fuck! 580 00:23:49,750 --> 00:23:52,249 I've never seen so many number twos. 581 00:23:52,333 --> 00:23:53,999 ZEKE'S MOM: Is that what I think it is? 582 00:23:54,083 --> 00:23:55,875 Hell yeah, baby. Hell yeah. 583 00:23:57,333 --> 00:23:58,999 (GROANING) 584 00:23:59,083 --> 00:24:01,416 -(ALARM SOUNDING) -RYAN (AUTOMATED): This is an emergency. 585 00:24:01,500 --> 00:24:02,958 -I did not... -Please remain calm. 586 00:24:03,041 --> 00:24:04,583 -Okay, that's not good. -(ENGLISH ACCENT) Okay, 587 00:24:04,667 --> 00:24:05,750 ultra-emergency now. 588 00:24:05,833 --> 00:24:06,917 -I need... -Accent! 589 00:24:06,999 --> 00:24:09,083 (AMERICAN ACCENT) ...all non-essential personnel 590 00:24:09,166 --> 00:24:12,333 to leave the bridge right now, please. Thank you. 591 00:24:12,416 --> 00:24:14,083 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Not you, not you! 592 00:24:14,166 --> 00:24:15,875 Especially this guy. Get him out of here. 593 00:24:15,958 --> 00:24:17,625 -FRANK KELLY: Sorry, Karen. -You son of a bitch! 594 00:24:17,708 --> 00:24:19,375 -RYAN: Please remain calm. -Sorry. 595 00:24:23,875 --> 00:24:25,208 Yeah, I can't eat this. 596 00:24:26,833 --> 00:24:28,833 Tanto, tanto merda che esce. 597 00:24:28,917 --> 00:24:31,166 -(OVERLAPPING VOICES IN VARIOUS LANGUAGES) -Ma tanto, tanto, tanto 598 00:24:31,249 --> 00:24:34,541 esce la merda, esce, esce, esce. Che cazzo fai? 599 00:24:34,625 --> 00:24:37,583 We are all going to die of radiation poisoning 600 00:24:37,667 --> 00:24:41,124 if we don't plug the hole in the vent right now. Like, now. 601 00:24:41,208 --> 00:24:42,416 Okay, if anyone needs to freak out, 602 00:24:42,500 --> 00:24:44,416 this is a safe space. Emotionally. 603 00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:46,458 Physically, we're obviously in terrible danger. 604 00:24:46,541 --> 00:24:48,291 A real captain would be out there. 605 00:24:48,375 --> 00:24:51,999 Yes! Captain, you need to get out there and fix... 606 00:24:52,083 --> 00:24:55,875 whatever this is. This dark evil. 607 00:24:55,958 --> 00:24:57,708 Look, I think you may have to do this. 608 00:24:57,792 --> 00:24:58,958 (AMERICAN ACCENT) No. No, no, no. 609 00:24:59,041 --> 00:25:02,541 Mr. Judd, the captain's place is on the bridge. 610 00:25:02,625 --> 00:25:05,416 Look, the whole world wants to see you out there! 611 00:25:05,500 --> 00:25:08,291 No, the whole world wants to see a specialist, 612 00:25:08,375 --> 00:25:10,458 and I am not a specialist in that. 613 00:25:10,541 --> 00:25:13,249 Go, Mr. Wetsuit! He's an expert. 614 00:25:13,999 --> 00:25:15,416 I never knew that before. 615 00:25:15,500 --> 00:25:17,208 You are the perfect man for this job. 616 00:25:17,291 --> 00:25:20,333 Zeke, whoever does go out there, I'm gonna make sure they bring 617 00:25:20,416 --> 00:25:21,708 you back a nice, big-- 618 00:25:21,792 --> 00:25:24,750 Captain Clark saved my life 20 years ago. 619 00:25:24,833 --> 00:25:27,375 When we were mining for asteroids. Do you remember? 620 00:25:27,458 --> 00:25:32,416 My harness failed, and I thought I was gonna die. 621 00:25:32,500 --> 00:25:33,958 (SNIFFLES) 622 00:25:34,041 --> 00:25:37,500 And the captain untethered his tether, 623 00:25:37,583 --> 00:25:40,375 and he jumped out and he caught me. 624 00:25:40,458 --> 00:25:44,708 And he loves his uniform. But he loves danger more. 625 00:25:44,792 --> 00:25:47,541 And that is why we are saved, people. 626 00:25:47,625 --> 00:25:48,958 So, now you can act? 627 00:25:49,041 --> 00:25:51,166 (APPLAUSE) 628 00:25:53,583 --> 00:25:54,958 Wh-- No, no, no, no. 629 00:25:59,249 --> 00:26:02,583 Yeah, yeah, yeah! Avenue 5! 630 00:26:02,667 --> 00:26:04,500 CROWD: Avenue 5! 631 00:26:04,583 --> 00:26:08,041 -Fly safe, cap! -Yeah! Right. 632 00:26:08,124 --> 00:26:10,041 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Of all the things that are not good 633 00:26:10,124 --> 00:26:12,375 about this, one of them is, I'm still drunk! 634 00:26:12,458 --> 00:26:13,792 Okay, listen, it's gonna be fine. 635 00:26:13,875 --> 00:26:16,541 Uh, focus on her, because she's got a really promising story. 636 00:26:16,625 --> 00:26:19,625 Is there a worse way to die? Because right now, 637 00:26:19,708 --> 00:26:21,041 I'd be inclined to pick that one. 638 00:26:21,124 --> 00:26:25,041 It's gonna be okay. I'm gonna talk directly into your ear, 639 00:26:25,124 --> 00:26:27,541 and I'm gonna walk you through this whole horror. 640 00:26:27,625 --> 00:26:29,166 You've just gotta find me on the comms link, 641 00:26:29,249 --> 00:26:30,500 or I won't be able to help you. 642 00:26:30,583 --> 00:26:32,667 Okay, find me on the comms link. Thank you. Take him down. 643 00:26:32,750 --> 00:26:34,416 -Find me on the comms link! -Back to your stations. 644 00:26:34,500 --> 00:26:36,583 -RYAN: Please remain calm. -JUDD: We got this! 645 00:26:36,667 --> 00:26:40,208 There is a rupture in the hull, and Cap has gone to do an EVA. 646 00:26:40,291 --> 00:26:41,999 So, emergency drill. Go, go, go! 647 00:26:42,083 --> 00:26:44,124 -Uh, oui. Go, go! -Yes. 648 00:26:44,667 --> 00:26:46,500 -EVA? -Yes! 649 00:26:48,249 --> 00:26:50,333 -(CHUCKLES) -I love improv. 650 00:26:51,667 --> 00:26:55,166 (CHEERING) 651 00:26:59,458 --> 00:27:00,917 I believe in you. 652 00:27:00,999 --> 00:27:03,500 But if, for whatever reason, it doesn't work out, 653 00:27:03,583 --> 00:27:05,166 I'm gonna name a sports center 654 00:27:05,249 --> 00:27:07,583 or artificial ski slope after you. 655 00:27:09,583 --> 00:27:14,833 Okay, engineering. Forward split wetsuit protocol three 656 00:27:14,917 --> 00:27:16,208 to my station. 657 00:27:16,291 --> 00:27:19,041 Protocol three. That is my favorite protocol. 658 00:27:21,124 --> 00:27:22,541 SARAH: Protocol three. 659 00:27:27,041 --> 00:27:29,041 -BILLIE: Okay. -Oh, fucking hell. 660 00:27:31,375 --> 00:27:33,249 BILLIE: Ryan? Ryan, can you hear me? 661 00:27:33,333 --> 00:27:35,416 Are you ready to do this? 662 00:27:35,500 --> 00:27:38,708 With every fiber of my being, no. 663 00:27:39,750 --> 00:27:42,875 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 664 00:28:43,958 --> 00:28:45,583 Captain, what exactly are you looking at? 665 00:28:45,667 --> 00:28:46,750 The inside of my eyelids. 666 00:28:46,833 --> 00:28:48,667 Can you get visuals on the compromise? 667 00:28:48,750 --> 00:28:50,458 Visuals? What's wrong with "see"? 668 00:28:51,500 --> 00:28:52,375 Or "come back in"? 669 00:28:52,458 --> 00:28:53,375 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 670 00:28:53,458 --> 00:28:54,541 RAV MULCAIR: Oh, this is not good. 671 00:28:54,625 --> 00:28:55,500 Where are you going? 672 00:28:55,958 --> 00:28:57,750 I'm gonna do 600 push-ups and then throw up in the sink. 673 00:28:58,124 --> 00:29:00,541 I'll see you later at the Halfway Home Party. 674 00:29:00,625 --> 00:29:01,500 MAN: Is-- Is that true? 675 00:29:01,583 --> 00:29:03,375 Well, it was true when I said it. 676 00:29:03,458 --> 00:29:04,792 Like a marriage vow. 677 00:29:05,500 --> 00:29:08,583 This party is going to be an orgy of the gods. 678 00:29:08,958 --> 00:29:10,750 -So firm. -Well... (STUTTERS) 679 00:29:10,833 --> 00:29:12,249 Firm is my middle name. 680 00:29:12,333 --> 00:29:14,416 -WOMAN: What's your first name? -Colin. 681 00:29:14,708 --> 00:29:16,999 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 52795

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