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1
00:00:08,138 --> 00:00:10,967
The Clean Air Act
required all new cars
2
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,883
to be equipped with
catalytic converters
3
00:00:13,926 --> 00:00:15,711
to combat air pollution.
4
00:00:15,754 --> 00:00:18,235
The first state to do this
was California,
5
00:00:18,279 --> 00:00:20,672
which led Texans
to say things like...
6
00:00:20,716 --> 00:00:23,371
I hate California.ADULT SHELDON: And...
7
00:00:23,414 --> 00:00:26,069
When will that place fall
in the ocean?
8
00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:28,506
While not
everyone was happy about it,
9
00:00:28,550 --> 00:00:30,943
six years later,
one particular Texan
10
00:00:30,987 --> 00:00:33,033
saw an opportunity
to get rich quick.
11
00:00:33,076 --> 00:00:34,991
Man,
I'm gonna get rich quick.
12
00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:37,602
I just got my ticket
out of here.
13
00:00:37,646 --> 00:00:38,951
Adios.
14
00:00:38,995 --> 00:00:41,041
I'm serious.
This thing is full of tips
15
00:00:41,084 --> 00:00:43,304
on how to make a fortune.
Only cost me a dollar.
16
00:00:43,347 --> 00:00:45,349
Is one of the tips
"make a crappy newsletter
17
00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:47,177
and charge idiots
a dollar for it"?
18
00:00:48,222 --> 00:00:50,006
No, but not a bad idea.
19
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:53,879
Listen to this: "Raise bees
and sell the honey for profit."
20
00:00:53,923 --> 00:00:55,794
Do it, and I'm living
with Meemaw.
21
00:00:55,838 --> 00:00:58,188
"Sell blood
or non-vital organs."
22
00:00:58,232 --> 00:01:00,060
Give 'em your brain.
You're not using it.
23
00:01:02,366 --> 00:01:05,065
I think that's the only time
I've ever heard you laugh.
24
00:01:05,108 --> 00:01:07,284
That's the only time
you've ever been funny.
25
00:01:07,328 --> 00:01:11,767
Platinum can be extracted
from ordinary roadside gravel.
26
00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:12,942
No, it can't.
27
00:01:12,985 --> 00:01:14,074
Actually, it can.
28
00:01:14,117 --> 00:01:15,988
Catalytic converters
contain platinum.
29
00:01:16,032 --> 00:01:17,599
Microparticles of that platinum
30
00:01:17,642 --> 00:01:18,730
are expelled
in the exhaust
31
00:01:18,774 --> 00:01:20,471
and are mixed in
with the gravel.
32
00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:23,344
See? This thing's a gold mine.
33
00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:27,348
It would be more apt
to call it a platinum mine.
34
00:01:28,523 --> 00:01:30,481
I laughed at your joke.
35
00:01:50,980 --> 00:01:54,157
Strike!Keep your eye on the ball.
36
00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:57,595
Strike two.
37
00:01:57,639 --> 00:01:59,728
You got this!
38
00:02:01,904 --> 00:02:03,210
Strike three.
39
00:02:03,253 --> 00:02:05,168
You're out.MEEMAW: Hey, ump,
40
00:02:05,212 --> 00:02:06,343
you're blind.
41
00:02:06,387 --> 00:02:08,432
She swung and missed.Fine.
42
00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:10,695
Hey ump, you're bald.
43
00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:12,828
Better?
44
00:02:12,871 --> 00:02:15,744
Come on.
You can do this, girl.
45
00:02:18,094 --> 00:02:20,183
Strike one.
46
00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:21,924
You can do it,
sweetheart.
47
00:02:21,967 --> 00:02:24,492
Strike two.
48
00:02:24,535 --> 00:02:25,928
Strike three.
49
00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:28,191
I still think you can do it,
sweetheart.
50
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:29,975
Strike one.
51
00:02:30,019 --> 00:02:31,934
Strike two.
52
00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:36,243
Strike three.
You're out.
53
00:02:36,286 --> 00:02:38,114
Strike one.
54
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,072
Strike two.
55
00:02:41,030 --> 00:02:42,118
Strike three.
You're out.
56
00:02:46,688 --> 00:02:49,256
It's okay, Cooper.
You'll get 'em next time.
57
00:02:53,825 --> 00:02:55,653
Want to go
to Dairy Queen?
58
00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:57,394
I don't deserve Dairy Queen.
59
00:02:57,438 --> 00:02:59,222
It's not your
fault, honey.
60
00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:02,138
That other pitcher
was almost a grown man.
61
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:05,185
I think I saw him
at the bar last night.
62
00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:07,143
Y-You're just going
through a little slump.
63
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,405
Happens to everyone.
64
00:03:08,449 --> 00:03:10,233
Well, how do I
get out of it?
65
00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:12,148
When I've been
at the craps table...
66
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,628
George,
you give advice.
67
00:03:13,671 --> 00:03:17,414
Smart. Man's been in
a slump his whole life.
68
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:19,242
You just got to get out
of your head.
69
00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:21,244
You... you're thinking too much.
70
00:03:21,288 --> 00:03:23,986
I promise thinking too much
has never been my problem.
71
00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:26,075
When I'm feeling down,
do you know what I do?
72
00:03:26,118 --> 00:03:28,033
Pray.
73
00:03:28,077 --> 00:03:29,252
It works.
74
00:03:29,296 --> 00:03:31,080
In fact, I'm gonna pray
for you tonight.
75
00:03:31,123 --> 00:03:33,343
Everybody prays to God
at night.
76
00:03:33,387 --> 00:03:35,911
Do it now while
he's got some free time.
77
00:03:38,957 --> 00:03:40,655
Hey what you doing?
78
00:03:40,698 --> 00:03:43,440
Playing a historically accurate
game called The Oregon Trail.
79
00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:45,268
That sounds boring.
80
00:03:45,312 --> 00:03:49,011
Hardly. My wagon broke an axle,
and my wife died of dysentery.
81
00:03:49,054 --> 00:03:51,274
Well, can you pause it
for a sec?
82
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:53,755
It does seems rude
to push on to Oregon
83
00:03:53,798 --> 00:03:57,149
while my daughter Mabel is
mourning the loss of her mother.
84
00:03:57,193 --> 00:03:59,413
What can I do for you?
85
00:03:59,456 --> 00:04:02,111
Remember when we were talking
about platinum in gravel?
86
00:04:02,154 --> 00:04:03,678
Do you know how to get it out?
87
00:04:03,721 --> 00:04:05,332
It's not a complicated
principle.
88
00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:08,291
I could probably do it with my
Professor Proton chemistry set.
89
00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:11,599
Great.And an oven that reaches
2,000 degrees.
90
00:04:11,642 --> 00:04:13,122
Does our oven do that?
91
00:04:13,165 --> 00:04:14,950
No, but I read you can build one
92
00:04:14,993 --> 00:04:17,082
out of a garbage can
and a leaf blower.
93
00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:18,519
Cool. Let's mine some platinum.
94
00:04:18,562 --> 00:04:20,782
No, thank you.
I don't care about money.
95
00:04:25,961 --> 00:04:28,398
But you care
about science, right?
96
00:04:28,442 --> 00:04:30,095
Of course.
97
00:04:30,139 --> 00:04:32,184
So I offer you the chance
to do an experiment
98
00:04:32,228 --> 00:04:34,883
and you'd rather play
a video game?
99
00:04:36,928 --> 00:04:39,104
What would
Professor Proton think?
100
00:04:43,065 --> 00:04:44,849
He'd be disappointed.
101
00:04:44,893 --> 00:04:46,677
So what do you say?
102
00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:48,723
I say we collect gravel.
103
00:04:48,766 --> 00:04:50,246
There you go.
104
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,728
In case you're worried,
105
00:04:53,771 --> 00:04:55,904
Mabel and I did finally
make it to Oregon,
106
00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:59,299
where I remarried and lived
to the ripe old age of 41.
107
00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:06,828
All right, Cooper, remember
what I told you, okay?
108
00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:08,351
Knees bent, elbows out,
109
00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:10,440
eye on the ball.
110
00:05:10,484 --> 00:05:12,137
Hang on.
111
00:05:12,181 --> 00:05:14,966
Hi, God. It's Missy Cooper.
112
00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:17,534
I know my mom talked to you
about me the other day,
113
00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:19,144
and she's, like,
your biggest fan.
114
00:05:20,189 --> 00:05:21,190
Hey, what's going on?
115
00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:22,974
What, did you
fall asleep?
116
00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:24,062
Sorry, I was praying.
117
00:05:24,106 --> 00:05:26,195
My apologies.
118
00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:32,027
Anyway, I could really
use your help getting a hit.
119
00:05:32,070 --> 00:05:33,594
Amen.
120
00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:35,770
Okay.Are we good?
121
00:05:35,813 --> 00:05:37,511
I don't know.
We'll find out.
122
00:05:37,554 --> 00:05:38,860
Okay, remember,
123
00:05:38,903 --> 00:05:40,514
elbows up,
124
00:05:40,557 --> 00:05:42,690
knees bent.
125
00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:44,779
I'm coming at you, Cooper.
126
00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:52,395
Way to go. Perfect.
127
00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:54,571
Thank you, God.
128
00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:55,572
How about, "Thank you, Coach"?
129
00:05:55,616 --> 00:05:57,531
Thank you, Coach.Too late.
130
00:05:59,315 --> 00:06:01,578
This should be a good spot.
131
00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:04,276
It's a high-traffic area,
which means plenty of exhaust,
132
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:05,800
and therefore
plenty of platinum.
133
00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:07,628
Great. Let's get shoveling.
134
00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:18,160
You ain't gonna help?
135
00:06:18,203 --> 00:06:19,770
No.
136
00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:23,600
How was practice?
137
00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:25,907
Great. I hit the ball
further than anyone.
138
00:06:25,950 --> 00:06:29,040
Sounds like a little prayer
helped after all.
139
00:06:29,084 --> 00:06:32,087
I guess it did.You seem surprised.
140
00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:33,958
Well, God knows
everything,
141
00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:35,699
and I have some
pretty evil thoughts.
142
00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:36,918
Missy.
143
00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:38,746
Ooh, what if I start
wearing a cross
144
00:06:38,789 --> 00:06:40,400
so God knows I mean business?
145
00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:42,489
You could also
clean up your thinking.
146
00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,448
Nah.
147
00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:54,022
What's taking so long?
148
00:06:54,065 --> 00:06:56,067
It'd be faster if you helped.
149
00:06:56,111 --> 00:06:59,027
Well, we know
that's not happening.
150
00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:01,682
I know you got your hands
full with all that sad stuff,
151
00:07:01,725 --> 00:07:05,773
like disease and war
and hunger and poverty,
152
00:07:05,816 --> 00:07:08,950
so thanks again for helping me
get some hits at practice.
153
00:07:08,993 --> 00:07:10,560
Amen.
154
00:07:10,604 --> 00:07:13,389
Don't forget to ask him to keep
our family safe and healthy.
155
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,609
I just hung up.
Don't make me call him back.
156
00:07:23,051 --> 00:07:25,183
Should I be wearing
all that?
157
00:07:25,227 --> 00:07:27,098
I recommend it.
Those rocks are filthy.
158
00:07:27,142 --> 00:07:28,012
I'm good.
159
00:07:28,056 --> 00:07:29,231
God made dirt.
Dirt don't hurt.
160
00:07:29,274 --> 00:07:30,711
Where do we start?
161
00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:33,104
The first step is to put
the gravel in these colanders,
162
00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:35,498
and then sift it over the tray
to collect the dust.
163
00:07:41,286 --> 00:07:42,636
It's like finding money
in the street.
164
00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:45,334
Why do you care so much
about money?
165
00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:47,945
You saw Back to the Futurewhen
their dad's rich at the end,
166
00:07:47,989 --> 00:07:50,557
his wife is all skinny
and loves him way more.
167
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:53,560
So you want a wife who loves you
because you have money?
168
00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:55,257
A skinny wife.
169
00:07:56,606 --> 00:07:58,478
I have something for you.
170
00:07:58,521 --> 00:08:00,915
You said you
wanted a cross,
171
00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:04,788
and this is the one I used to
wear when I was your age.
172
00:08:04,832 --> 00:08:06,181
It's so pretty.
173
00:08:06,224 --> 00:08:09,010
I'm glad you like it.
174
00:08:09,053 --> 00:08:13,275
It's a nice reminder
that wherever you are,
175
00:08:13,318 --> 00:08:14,885
God is always with you.
176
00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:19,673
And it means a lot to me
that you want to wear it.
177
00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:23,459
Thanks, Mom.
I'm gonna pray right now.
178
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,374
God, it's Missy again.
179
00:08:25,417 --> 00:08:27,681
If you can hear me better, it's
'cause I'm wearing a cross now.
180
00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:29,987
Please let me get
a lot of hits on Saturday.
181
00:08:30,031 --> 00:08:32,686
And if their star pitcher breaks his arm or gets run over
182
00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:35,602
by a truck, I'd totally
be okay with that.
183
00:08:35,645 --> 00:08:37,604
Amen.
184
00:08:37,647 --> 00:08:39,823
Amen.
185
00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:41,695
Now we have to sift
the powder again
186
00:08:41,738 --> 00:08:43,827
because the platinum particles
are extremely small,
187
00:08:43,871 --> 00:08:46,003
sometimes no more than
just a few atoms.
188
00:08:46,047 --> 00:08:49,093
If I was as smart as you,
I'd play the stock market.
189
00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:50,660
Or go on Price Is Right.
190
00:08:50,704 --> 00:08:53,620
I'd rather spend my time
focusing on important things,
191
00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:56,013
like figuring out how
the universe works.
192
00:08:56,057 --> 00:09:00,583
So, say you figure out how
the universe works. Then what?
193
00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:02,977
I'm not sure,
but in the meantime,
194
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:04,413
I agree with
Richard Feynman.
195
00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:07,677
I simply enjoy the pleasure
of finding things out.
196
00:09:07,721 --> 00:09:09,244
I agree with the Beastie Boys.
197
00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:11,594
You got to fight
for your right to party.
198
00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:14,510
Well, it's good to have
a personal philosophy.
199
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:17,469
What's next?We create a chemical flux
200
00:09:17,513 --> 00:09:19,254
by combining borax,
sodium carbonate,
201
00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:20,690
lead oxide and flour.
202
00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,692
Did you know
Sheldon and Georgie
203
00:09:22,736 --> 00:09:24,041
are working
on something together?
204
00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:26,348
That's nice. And guess what--
205
00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:28,742
Missy asked me
if she could wear a cross.
206
00:09:28,785 --> 00:09:31,614
She's in her bedroom
saying prayers right now.
207
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:34,051
I don't like it.
208
00:09:34,095 --> 00:09:36,706
What are you talking about?
Our kids are behaving.
209
00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:39,274
Exactly.
Something bad's gonna happen.
210
00:09:39,317 --> 00:09:40,928
Why can't you just be thankful?
211
00:09:40,971 --> 00:09:43,495
Because that's when life kicks
you right in the plums, Mary.
212
00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:45,933
Dad, where's your power drill?
213
00:09:45,976 --> 00:09:48,588
Why?Our oven doesn't reach
2,000 degrees,
214
00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:50,372
so we're going to make
a homemade kiln
215
00:09:50,415 --> 00:09:51,765
out of a garbage can.
216
00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:53,288
And there go the plums.
217
00:09:53,331 --> 00:09:55,812
Are you two trying
to burn down the house?
218
00:09:55,856 --> 00:09:58,032
No, we're trying to make
platinum out of gravel.
219
00:09:58,075 --> 00:10:00,295
You're not building
a 2,000-degree oven.
220
00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:03,385
Fine. Just so you know,
I was gonna cut you in.
221
00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:06,823
Really? You'll fight
for your right to party
222
00:10:06,867 --> 00:10:08,216
but not for your right
to make a device
223
00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:09,783
that'll exceed
the melting point of lead?
224
00:10:09,826 --> 00:10:11,175
Shut up.
225
00:10:11,219 --> 00:10:13,221
Ooh, "Why can't you
be thankful?"
226
00:10:17,355 --> 00:10:18,705
What's your problem?
227
00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:20,750
Mom and Dad won't
let me build a kiln,
228
00:10:20,794 --> 00:10:23,710
so Georgie and I can't
finish our experiment.
229
00:10:23,753 --> 00:10:25,842
Before you tell me,
I don't care what a kiln is.
230
00:10:25,886 --> 00:10:28,323
Okay, but you'll never know
it's a high-temperature oven.
231
00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:31,108
If you're unhappy,
just ask God for help.
232
00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:32,414
I don't believe in God.
233
00:10:32,457 --> 00:10:34,372
He can hear you.
234
00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:36,679
He knows if you've
been bad or good.
235
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:39,334
Like Santa,
but he can send you to hell.
236
00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:40,770
I'm not going to ask
some magical being
237
00:10:40,814 --> 00:10:42,206
to solve my problems.
238
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:44,382
I asked him to help me
with my batting, and he did.
239
00:10:47,864 --> 00:10:50,911
There's a pottery kiln
in art class. We can use that.
240
00:10:52,347 --> 00:10:54,741
Georgie,
I figured it out!
241
00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:58,919
Good job, but that does not
count as one of my wishes.
242
00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:04,272
Why are we being sneaky?
243
00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:06,187
I thought you said
we have permission.
244
00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:09,886
We do. I just don't want anybody
knowing about our platinum.
245
00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:12,497
Smart. Last week, I bragged
about having a Nutter Butter,
246
00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:15,065
and some rat stole it
right out of my lunch bag.
247
00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:17,807
Well, it sure wasn't me.
248
00:11:17,851 --> 00:11:19,940
And then I hit it over
the right fielder's head.
249
00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:21,811
Sounds like you had
a good practice.
250
00:11:21,855 --> 00:11:23,770
I did. Coach said
he's gonna have me hit cleanup.
251
00:11:23,813 --> 00:11:24,988
Missy,
252
00:11:25,032 --> 00:11:26,990
will you rub your cross
on my bat?
253
00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:28,035
No.
254
00:11:28,078 --> 00:11:29,558
Have you been doing that?
255
00:11:29,601 --> 00:11:31,038
On mine. It's working great.
256
00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:32,343
Please?
257
00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:34,128
I'll give you a dollar.
258
00:11:34,171 --> 00:11:36,043
Fine.
259
00:11:36,086 --> 00:11:37,871
What do you think you're doing?
260
00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:39,742
Sharing God's love
and making some cash.
261
00:11:39,786 --> 00:11:41,222
Absolutely not.
262
00:11:41,265 --> 00:11:42,745
How about I give you the dollar?
263
00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:45,879
God's love has nothing
to do with money.
264
00:11:45,922 --> 00:11:47,489
What about the collection plate
at church?
265
00:11:47,532 --> 00:11:49,491
That is different.
266
00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:50,884
That's where I found
this dollar.
267
00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:52,233
Okay.
268
00:11:52,276 --> 00:11:54,278
Bye.
269
00:11:54,322 --> 00:11:55,845
So now we just wait
for the concrete dust
270
00:11:55,889 --> 00:11:57,891
to dissolve
and the lead to melt?
271
00:11:57,934 --> 00:11:59,544
That's exactly right.
272
00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:01,155
I know. I listen.
273
00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:02,896
And you understand it?I work in sales.
274
00:12:02,939 --> 00:12:04,898
I don't need to know
what I'm talking about
275
00:12:04,941 --> 00:12:06,377
to make it sound good.
276
00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:08,031
Don't you think it would
make you better at your job
277
00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:10,077
if you understood the products
you were selling?
278
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,470
No. People don't
want to hear facts.I do.
279
00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:15,212
Normal people don't
want to hear facts.
280
00:12:15,256 --> 00:12:16,648
I'm normal.
281
00:12:16,692 --> 00:12:17,737
Are you?
282
00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:19,782
No, I'm special.
283
00:12:21,305 --> 00:12:23,568
Is it supposed to be doing that?Something's wrong.
284
00:12:23,612 --> 00:12:25,092
Maybe we didn't sift out
all the rubber.
285
00:12:25,135 --> 00:12:26,484
I think it's burning.Okay.
286
00:12:26,528 --> 00:12:28,269
Okay, calm down.
I'll handle it.
287
00:12:28,312 --> 00:12:31,838
I'm having difficulty
remaining calm.
288
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,755
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
289
00:12:39,454 --> 00:12:41,282
I'm feeling more calm now.
290
00:12:45,286 --> 00:12:47,897
What were you thinking?Well...
291
00:12:47,941 --> 00:12:49,377
I don't want to
hear excuses.
292
00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:51,640
You could've burned
the school down.
293
00:12:51,683 --> 00:12:52,902
What do you have
to say for yourselves?
294
00:12:52,946 --> 00:12:55,687
I thought you didn't want
to hear my excuses.
295
00:12:55,731 --> 00:12:57,472
No, we didn't break
into the classroom.
296
00:12:57,515 --> 00:12:59,430
Georgie had permission
from the teacher.
297
00:12:59,474 --> 00:13:00,605
That is not important right now.
298
00:13:00,649 --> 00:13:02,782
So you think a teacher
said it was okay
299
00:13:02,825 --> 00:13:04,653
for a ten-year-old and an idiot
300
00:13:04,696 --> 00:13:07,177
to use a 2,000-degree oven
unsupervised?
301
00:13:09,353 --> 00:13:11,094
You fibber.
302
00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:14,706
You also stole my Nutter Butter.
303
00:13:19,537 --> 00:13:21,409
Are you mad at me?
304
00:13:21,452 --> 00:13:23,498
No.
You sure?
305
00:13:23,541 --> 00:13:26,109
'Cause that's how you look when
Dad had that breakfast beer.
306
00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:33,029
To be honest, I'm a little
concerned that I have given you
307
00:13:33,073 --> 00:13:35,815
the wrong impression
about how prayer works.
308
00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:38,730
I get it. I ask God for stuff,
he gives it to me.
309
00:13:38,774 --> 00:13:39,731
It's not rocket science.
310
00:13:39,775 --> 00:13:42,734
Missy, God does not
grant wishes.
311
00:13:42,778 --> 00:13:44,562
So he gave me good luck?
312
00:13:44,606 --> 00:13:46,869
It's not luck.
313
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:50,873
Luck is chance,
and God has a plan.
314
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:53,833
Right, and his plan is to give
me what I want when I pray.
315
00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:55,269
That's why he's so cool.
316
00:13:55,312 --> 00:13:58,272
No. I... I mean, he is cool,
317
00:13:58,315 --> 00:14:01,101
but sometimes
that might not be his plan.
318
00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:02,450
Then what's the point of praying
319
00:14:02,493 --> 00:14:04,017
if he's just gonna do
what he wants?
320
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:06,628
You don't pray to God
to get things.
321
00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:09,587
You pray to build
a relationship with him.
322
00:14:11,328 --> 00:14:13,287
This is too complicated.
I'm just gonna keep
323
00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:15,419
rubbing this thing on my bat
and kicking butt.
324
00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:17,900
Okay, that is it. Take it off.
325
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:20,250
No, I need it.
The game's Saturday.
326
00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:22,818
There are more important things
than baseball.
327
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,428
Now, hand it over.
328
00:14:24,472 --> 00:14:26,300
God, cover your ears.
329
00:14:26,343 --> 00:14:27,867
Damn it.
330
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:29,433
Missy Cooper!
331
00:14:29,477 --> 00:14:31,914
You are not ready for that.
You give that back.
332
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:34,743
You... Get!
333
00:14:37,789 --> 00:14:42,011
Lord, I really need you
right now.
334
00:14:42,055 --> 00:14:46,015
I have tried so hard to lead
my family to your light,
335
00:14:46,059 --> 00:14:49,889
but so far, Sheldon doesn't believe in you,
336
00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:52,282
Missy thinks
you're a magic trick,
337
00:14:52,326 --> 00:14:53,762
and you're not a teenage girl,
338
00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:56,634
so Georgie doesn't think
about you at all.
339
00:14:56,678 --> 00:15:00,247
I never thought I'd take a cross away from my own child,
340
00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:02,553
but what choice did I have?
341
00:15:02,597 --> 00:15:05,295
She was rubbing it
on sporting equipment.
342
00:15:05,339 --> 00:15:07,384
I didn't think there was
a wrong way to pray,
343
00:15:07,428 --> 00:15:10,344
but leave it
to that girl to find one.
344
00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:14,957
Please give me the strength to
keep guiding my family to you.
345
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:18,265
I can't do it on my own. Amen.
346
00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:23,139
So, how was everybody's day?
347
00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:29,363
That good?
348
00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:30,886
How about we just say grace?
349
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,541
You're gonna ask him to
bless the food? Interesting.
350
00:15:33,584 --> 00:15:34,977
That is enough.
351
00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:36,848
Come on.
352
00:15:36,892 --> 00:15:38,415
How can I appreciate
all this tension
353
00:15:38,459 --> 00:15:40,113
if I don't know what it's about?
354
00:15:40,156 --> 00:15:42,985
Mom took my cross away, and
I have a game on Saturday.
355
00:15:43,029 --> 00:15:45,770
Why would you do that?
She's out of the slump.
356
00:15:45,814 --> 00:15:47,511
She was being sacrilegious.
357
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:48,904
Mary, this is sports.
358
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,732
When something's working,
you do not mess with it.
359
00:15:50,775 --> 00:15:54,823
I am not changing my mind.
God is not a good-luck charm.
360
00:15:54,866 --> 00:15:56,999
Well, how about all the players
that kiss their crosses
361
00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:58,740
before they go
in the batter's box?
362
00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:01,351
They can take it up
with their mommies.
363
00:16:01,395 --> 00:16:02,962
So she's finally hitting good,
364
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:04,789
and you're gonna let her go
to that game all up in her head?
365
00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:06,791
Her relationship with God
is more important
366
00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:09,011
than getting some hits
in a baseball game.
367
00:16:09,055 --> 00:16:10,665
This is perfect.
They're mad at each other.
368
00:16:10,708 --> 00:16:12,058
Takes the heat off us.
369
00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:15,539
Thank you. I had no idea
what was going on.
370
00:16:15,583 --> 00:16:16,888
Mary, give her the cross back.
371
00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:20,501
When she is ready
for it, I will.
372
00:16:20,544 --> 00:16:22,677
I have a bunch of crosses
in my jewelry box.
373
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:24,766
You can take any
one you want.
374
00:16:24,809 --> 00:16:28,117
I don't want another cross.
I want my lucky cross.
375
00:16:28,161 --> 00:16:30,728
And that is exactly why
she is not ready.
376
00:16:30,772 --> 00:16:32,774
Let's say grace.
377
00:16:35,298 --> 00:16:37,866
Bless us, Lord, for the food
we are about to receive,
378
00:16:37,909 --> 00:16:39,868
and bless the hands
that prepared it. Amen.
379
00:16:39,911 --> 00:16:42,001
Amen.
380
00:16:45,787 --> 00:16:47,745
I'm glad we're no
longer in trouble
381
00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:49,704
for almost burning
the school down.
382
00:16:49,747 --> 00:16:50,835
Ooh.
383
00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:53,099
Let's talk about that.
384
00:17:01,324 --> 00:17:02,543
Georgie.
385
00:17:02,586 --> 00:17:04,284
Yeah?
386
00:17:05,328 --> 00:17:07,287
Are you still interested
in getting rich quick?
387
00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:10,464
No, I want to do it slow
like a chump.
388
00:17:10,507 --> 00:17:12,248
Never mind.
389
00:17:12,292 --> 00:17:13,554
Tell me, Sheldon.
390
00:17:13,597 --> 00:17:16,296
It occurred to me that
a good way to generate
391
00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:17,906
a positive cash flow
would be to curate
392
00:17:17,949 --> 00:17:20,691
popular songs and make them
available in a digital form.
393
00:17:20,735 --> 00:17:23,085
Possibly on a small device
that could also be used
394
00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:24,695
as a phone or even a camera.
395
00:17:24,739 --> 00:17:27,655
Right. A phone, camera,
music machine.
396
00:17:27,698 --> 00:17:29,091
Get out of here.
397
00:17:33,008 --> 00:17:35,097
Psst. Hey, Missy.
398
00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:36,446
Come here.
399
00:17:36,490 --> 00:17:38,318
What? I'm up next.
400
00:17:38,361 --> 00:17:40,146
I know. Here.
401
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,760
Don't tell your mother.
402
00:17:47,327 --> 00:17:50,721
I think I want
to do this on my own.You sure?
403
00:17:50,765 --> 00:17:54,073
Just in case Mom's right,
I don't want to make God mad.
404
00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:56,118
Strike three. You're out.
405
00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:57,685
All right. Go get 'em.
406
00:18:09,349 --> 00:18:11,264
Strike one!Dad!
407
00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:12,482
Coming!
408
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,880
Captioning sponsored by
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409
00:18:18,923 --> 00:18:24,886
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410
00:18:24,929 --> 00:18:27,932
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