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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,741 --> 00:00:12,144 * 2 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:20,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 3 00:01:30,825 --> 00:01:34,293 I wanted to go someplace special tonight. 4 00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:36,829 Romantic. 5 00:01:36,831 --> 00:01:40,599 If you've met someone wonderful, then you should spoil them. 6 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,501 It's important to find that special person 7 00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:45,504 you can be yourself around. 8 00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:48,640 Someone you could spend the rest of your life with. 9 00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:51,343 This calls for a toast. 10 00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:53,645 Here's to relationships. 11 00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:57,816 To first dates 12 00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:05,324 Would you excuse me for a minute? 13 00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:06,525 Of course. 14 00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,444 I'm close 15 00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:27,546 (PHONE RINGING) 16 00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:28,714 Hang on. 17 00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:33,352 (GRUNTING) 18 00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:35,187 What's up, Myles? 19 00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:38,357 He's so cute and smart. 20 00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:39,725 I really like him. 21 00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:41,360 I think he may be the one. 22 00:02:41,362 --> 00:02:43,195 What kind of puppy did you pick out? 23 00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:44,429 Puppy? 24 00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:47,199 The one you're imagining in your dream house. 25 00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:49,935 I have no idea what you're talking about. 26 00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:52,171 Boston Terrier 27 00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:54,190 Where are you? 28 00:02:54,191 --> 00:02:56,208 No, don't tell me. Let me guess. 29 00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:57,943 You're only gonna need one guess. 30 00:02:57,945 --> 00:03:00,212 God I wish you could see this. 31 00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:02,480 This guy's ass is so tight you could bounce a quarter off of it. 32 00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:03,882 Or something bigger. 33 00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:06,785 Nice visual while I enjoy my romantic dinner. 34 00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:10,822 Well, my date and I are sharing a connection, 35 00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,858 deep meaningful conversation. 36 00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:16,628 I took him to this amazing restaurant. 37 00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,430 Just gave him the red rose. 38 00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,769 He's leaving, isn't he? 39 00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:25,837 He just slipped out the door. 40 00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:27,639 Oh Myles. 41 00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:30,943 Time to initiate our suicide pact. 42 00:03:30,945 --> 00:03:32,678 I fear the time is upon us. 43 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,613 Death by chocolate? 44 00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:36,248 I'm afraid so. 45 00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:37,549 Text me where you are. 46 00:03:38,953 --> 00:03:41,620 You owe me an orgasm. 47 00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:43,755 I'll make it a double next time. 48 00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,924 Is there gonna be a next time? 49 00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:49,394 Probably not. 50 00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:53,732 Do you wanna shower at least before you go? 51 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,234 I didn't break a sweat. 52 00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:07,446 (PIANO BAR MUSIC) 53 00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,415 Geez. 54 00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:13,318 Nice place. 55 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,853 It was before my date left me. 56 00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:17,689 Here, this will cheer you up. 57 00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:18,824 What's this? 58 00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:21,260 It's your birthday present. 59 00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:22,928 My birthday isn't for two months yet. 60 00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:26,798 I know, I figured you could use a little "happy" now. 61 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:27,766 Why hello. 62 00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:31,436 Oh, you got my favorite! 63 00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:32,671 Of course. 64 00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:36,441 Don't get too excited, it's not much. 65 00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:41,613 Oh come on, don't get all gushy on me. 66 00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:45,350 You do have a sentimental side. 67 00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:47,319 That's the day we met. 68 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,287 I made two of them. One for you and one for me. 69 00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:53,659 I just wanted to do something that you would like. 70 00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:55,761 Don't make me regret being nice, alright. 71 00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:57,562 Enough of this sappy crap. 72 00:04:58,365 --> 00:04:59,665 Here is to Men. 73 00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:00,699 Fuck them. 74 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,568 To finding the perfect man. 75 00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:05,504 To friends. 76 00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:06,805 To relationships. 77 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,674 Being single. 78 00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:16,014 Do me a favor. Don't let me die alone. 79 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,916 You're not gonna be alone. I'm gonna be there holding 80 00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:20,852 a pillow over your face. 81 00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:23,055 This is to the hangovers we're gonna have tomorrow. 82 00:05:23,057 --> 00:05:24,523 So we agree? 83 00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,058 To being hungover? 84 00:05:26,060 --> 00:05:27,359 No. 85 00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:28,860 That we won't grow old alone. 86 00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:31,463 I'm never gonna be alone. 87 00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:33,999 In fact, I'm already drafting a list in my head 88 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,967 of all the things I'm gonna do to our waiter. 89 00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:38,870 Most of them are still illegal in forty-two states. 90 00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:39,938 Hey. 91 00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:42,974 Hey, I'm serious. 92 00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:45,877 Come on, you know that I'm always gonna be here for you. 93 00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:49,381 Alright, I can tell you're obsessing over this already. 94 00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:51,683 I'll make you a deal. 95 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,752 If in ten years we're both still single 96 00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:56,588 and neither of us have found anybody, 97 00:05:56,590 --> 00:06:01,793 we'll be boyfriends. A couple. Together, forever. 98 00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:04,663 A backup plan? 99 00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:05,430 You're serious? 100 00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:06,498 Sure. 101 00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:08,500 Here, you're the one who's 102 00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:10,602 going to school to be a fancy attorney. 103 00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:12,104 Write something up, I will sign it. 104 00:06:12,106 --> 00:06:15,073 Make it legally binding. 105 00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:17,509 So I have ten years then? 106 00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:19,111 To find love before you're, 107 00:06:19,113 --> 00:06:21,079 thirty-five. 108 00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:23,782 Here's to being in love. 109 00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:26,685 Here is to ten years of freedom. 110 00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:50,609 You happy now, huh? 111 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:54,780 Unbelievable. 112 00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:10,495 * 113 00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,006 Here they are. 114 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,141 Made you those appetizers you like 115 00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:25,911 with the imported goat cheese. 116 00:07:25,913 --> 00:07:27,579 Please sit down. 117 00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:31,283 I will. 118 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:34,018 But, trust me, you don't want dinner to burn. 119 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:35,086 It does smell great. 120 00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:36,455 What is it? 121 00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:37,556 It's Eggplant Sorrento. 122 00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:38,723 Are you kidding me? 123 00:07:38,725 --> 00:07:39,691 That's my favorite. 124 00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:40,776 I know. 125 00:07:40,777 --> 00:07:41,860 I called your mother. 126 00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:44,229 You're making my mom's Eggplant Sorrento? 127 00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:46,532 Well you've been working a lot recently, 128 00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:48,834 so I thought it would be nice to do something extra special for you. 129 00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:51,036 I can't believe you called my mother. 130 00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:53,738 That's a tad scary. 131 00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:56,508 Sit. 132 00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:57,976 Relax. 133 00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,878 That's an eighty-six cabernet. 134 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,112 I'll be back in a few. 135 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,590 What's up? 136 00:08:14,228 --> 00:08:16,094 Want to catch a movie tonight? 137 00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:16,962 Can't, man. 138 00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:18,730 Got plans already. 139 00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:21,166 They start with a cold beer and end with a sticky towel. 140 00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,001 All the best nights do. 141 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:25,937 Looks like it's just you and me again tonight buddy. 142 00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:28,540 Hey, you're the one that insists on being straight. 143 00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:30,575 Look, why don't you just come out with me tonight, huh. 144 00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:32,878 You give me ten minutes I will get you an ass so hot 145 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,213 you can eat breakfast, lunch and dinner off of it. 146 00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:38,683 I prefer my partners not to have the same equipment as me. 147 00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:42,821 Not me. I prefer the same, or bigger. 148 00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:43,655 Hey, your loss. 149 00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:47,726 (PHONE BEEPS) 150 00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:48,960 Hello David. 151 00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,896 Say hello to David. 152 00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:52,264 Is it really that easy for you? 153 00:08:52,266 --> 00:08:53,932 That's the beauty of being a man. 154 00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:56,101 Look, there's no wining and dining. 155 00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:58,269 Five minutes we'll have had a beer, fifteen minutes we'll be in the sack, 156 00:08:58,272 --> 00:09:01,072 sixteen minutes I'll be home watching pay-per-view. 157 00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:03,308 It's amazing, you should try it. 158 00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:05,844 Well, if you put it that way. 159 00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:07,812 Seriously? 160 00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:09,114 Hell no. 161 00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:18,857 * 162 00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,660 Someone was hungry. 163 00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:23,128 And thirsty. 164 00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:25,063 Here, taste. 165 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,331 Are you ever gonna sit down? 166 00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:27,999 I'd really like to talk. 167 00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:34,940 Wow. 168 00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:36,341 That is good. 169 00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,209 It's exactly how my mom makes it. 170 00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:40,145 Good, now I want to hear all about your day. 171 00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:43,181 Come to the table. We'll talk over dinner. 172 00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:44,916 I don't even know what to say. 173 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,117 How about, let's eat! 174 00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:48,687 Fine. 175 00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:54,626 (DOORBELL RINGS) 176 00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:03,301 Hi, I'm David. 177 00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:05,637 Hi, I'm Brody. 178 00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:06,972 Nice to meet you. 179 00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:10,008 What is it with you guys introducing yourselves like 180 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:11,943 you don't already know who I am. I mean, 181 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:14,679 you have sent me so many pictures of yourself 182 00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:18,249 that I probably know you better than your own doctor does. 183 00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:20,185 I don't know. 184 00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:22,120 Do you have a better way of greeting someone at the door? 185 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:27,826 How about, "Hey Brody, come on in, you want a beer?" 186 00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:30,028 Hi Brody, come on in. Do you want a beer? 187 00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:32,097 No, I'm good. 188 00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:34,699 You look terrified. 189 00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:36,234 First time on Grindr? 190 00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:38,269 No. 191 00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:40,071 Maybe. 192 00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:41,656 Yeah. 193 00:10:41,657 --> 00:10:43,240 Ok, well, relax, we're gonna have fun. 194 00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:45,243 How about you, do you want a beer? 195 00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:47,045 Actually I'd love one. 196 00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,346 Ok. 197 00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,117 (BELCH) 198 00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:59,057 Well, that's a nice compliment. 199 00:10:59,059 --> 00:10:59,991 That was amazing. 200 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,693 I'm glad. 201 00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:03,528 How did the client meeting go today? 202 00:11:03,529 --> 00:11:05,362 I hope you got all the, "I'm thinking of you" texts I sent. 203 00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:06,097 Yep. 204 00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:07,699 All ten. 205 00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:13,872 You seem a little, tired tonight. 206 00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:16,908 Why don't you just take your shoes off, relax. 207 00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:20,712 I'm just... 208 00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:22,714 I'm trying to figure out the best way to 209 00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,749 talk to you about something. 210 00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:27,185 As long as it's not, "let's see other people". 211 00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:30,021 Uh. 212 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,756 You want to see other people. 213 00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:35,260 I'm just thinking that we're moving too fast. 214 00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:37,028 We've been dating a month. 215 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,997 I see you once a week for dinner and sex, 216 00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:41,966 and I do all the work for both. How is that possibly moving too fast? 217 00:11:41,968 --> 00:11:43,885 I just want to pump the brakes a bit. 218 00:11:43,886 --> 00:11:45,803 Well, do you think you could have pumped them on a day 219 00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:50,475 I didn't spend cooking an elaborate dinner and planning erotic massages? 220 00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:52,177 Wow. 221 00:11:55,449 --> 00:11:58,349 Myles, one day, 222 00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:02,921 you are going to make someone the most amazing husband. 223 00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:04,222 Just not you. 224 00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:07,058 No. 225 00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:13,965 I'm gonna leave. 226 00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:14,899 Yeah. 227 00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:32,016 (GRUNTING) 228 00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:33,485 Oh Yeah. 229 00:12:33,487 --> 00:12:36,121 Can I get you that beer now? 230 00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:37,789 You're a quick study. 231 00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:38,823 I like you. 232 00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:40,325 Enough to see me again? 233 00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:42,861 Enough to introduce you to my friend. 234 00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:44,329 Threesome? 235 00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:46,531 I don't think I'm ready for that, yet. 236 00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:47,832 Sure you are. 237 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,439 Myles, say hello to David. 238 00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:55,273 Say Hi David. 239 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:56,274 Hi. 240 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,109 Hello David. 241 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:01,045 It's always a pleasure meeting one of Brody's "hookups", 242 00:13:01,047 --> 00:13:04,415 especially after I've just been dumped. 243 00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:05,550 What happened? 244 00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:07,519 Like you have to ask? 245 00:13:07,521 --> 00:13:10,021 You want me to come over? 246 00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:12,657 That depends. 247 00:13:12,658 --> 00:13:15,292 Do you like strawberries infused with cognac hand dipped in dark chocolate? 248 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,895 Strawberries and cognac? 249 00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:18,096 Can I come? 250 00:13:18,098 --> 00:13:19,264 You already did. 251 00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:20,999 Twice. 252 00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,066 I'll be right there. 253 00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:34,946 Since when did you start fucking Martha Stuart? 254 00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:37,282 One does what one has to, to get a man. 255 00:13:37,284 --> 00:13:38,850 I've had a lot of men, 256 00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:42,420 I have never injected a strawberry with cognac before. 257 00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:45,156 Well, not in the literal sense. 258 00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:49,828 It doesn't matter anyway. 259 00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:51,930 I'm done. I'm in my mid-thirties. 260 00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:55,567 Time to acknowledge the fact that I'm destined to be a gay spinster. 261 00:13:55,569 --> 00:13:59,304 If the thought of dog hair everywhere didn't disgust me, I'd be a gay cliche. 262 00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:01,206 Trust me. 263 00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:03,107 You don't need a small dog to be a gay cliche. 264 00:14:03,109 --> 00:14:04,409 Thanks. 265 00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:07,278 Either way, I'm tired and done. 266 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:10,348 I'm sick of chasing men only to have my heart broken every time. 267 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,133 Ok, enough. 268 00:14:12,134 --> 00:14:13,917 I'm taking you shopping. If you're going to be single, 269 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,019 you need the proper tools. 270 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,487 I'm afraid of you right now. 271 00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:18,256 You're smarter than you look. 272 00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:19,457 Come on. 273 00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:23,328 * 274 00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:27,398 If I know you, a kinky evening of sex means using your left hand 275 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:31,102 and your toy arsenal is nothing more than a two year old jar of lube. 276 00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:34,105 Look being single requires the proper equipment 277 00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:37,909 and there's no better place to get it than here! 278 00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:38,910 Fleshjack. 279 00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:40,612 Better than a real mouth. Why? 280 00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:45,550 Because it doesn't speak. 281 00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:49,053 Dildo. No more gambling with what's on the other side of the zipper. 282 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:51,990 Nothing is worse than unwrapping the whopper only to find they 283 00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:54,943 skimped on the pickle. 284 00:14:54,944 --> 00:14:57,895 Now you can come home to Jeff Stryker every night. 285 00:14:57,898 --> 00:14:59,497 Mini projector. 286 00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:04,569 Now, you can watch your favorite pornos in HD above your head! 287 00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:07,405 I can see you've done extensive research on the subject. 288 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,274 Hey. I may not be good at many things, 289 00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:12,176 but the things I'm good at, I'm an expert in. 290 00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:13,344 Minty Fresh. 291 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:16,614 Here. 292 00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:23,271 Richard. 293 00:15:23,272 --> 00:15:24,188 Thank you very much, enjoy sir. 294 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,095 I can't believe you make me eat here. 295 00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:32,647 Are you kidding me? 296 00:15:32,648 --> 00:15:34,198 Everyone knows the best food in LA comes from food trucks. 297 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,434 Yeah, so does E. Coli. 298 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,269 Hey, I got you something. 299 00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:42,540 Its a sex toy. 300 00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:45,443 If this goes where I think it goes, 301 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,979 you and I are gonna have a big problem, buddy. 302 00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:49,297 It doesn't. 303 00:15:49,298 --> 00:15:50,614 Trust me, you're going to like this. 304 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:53,051 I went shopping with Myles last night. 305 00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:56,054 I was trying to cheer him up, he just broke up with his newest boyfriend. 306 00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:57,188 Another one? 307 00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:59,057 I feel so bad for that guy. 308 00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:00,525 Yeah, me too. 309 00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:02,060 Myles is a bit much. 310 00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:03,461 No, I meant Myles. 311 00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:07,532 You feel bad for Myles. 312 00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:10,401 Don't. If you want to pity someone, try me. 313 00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:13,071 Myles and I made a deal ten years ago that if we were still single 314 00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:16,074 by the time we're thirty-five, we'd be a couple. 315 00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:17,626 That's ridiculous. 316 00:16:17,627 --> 00:16:19,177 Myles is a successful, smart lawyer. 317 00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:20,144 He can do so much better than you. 318 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,312 I know, right. 319 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:22,897 Wait, what? 320 00:16:22,898 --> 00:16:24,481 I don't even know why you're complaining. I think it's a great idea. 321 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,217 You'd be lucky to have a guy like Myles. 322 00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:28,353 That is the last thing in the world I need. 323 00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:30,655 You're crazy, but we both know that. 324 00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,690 Seems like if you don't want to be Myles next boyfriend, 325 00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:35,660 you're going to have to do something about it - quick. 326 00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:38,396 Myles turns thirty-five in one month, 327 00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:40,631 we have thirty days to find Myles a boyfriend. 328 00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,700 No, not "we," you! 329 00:16:52,078 --> 00:16:53,544 (KNOCK) 330 00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:55,246 It's open. 331 00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:57,048 Hey! 332 00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:59,017 You ready for boys night out? 333 00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:01,586 Yeah, can I get you a drink? 334 00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:02,787 I trained you well. 335 00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:04,355 Nope, I got it. 336 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:09,727 Hey, can we stop by my place, I didn't have time to go back to the station. 337 00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:12,196 Sure, whatever you need to do. 338 00:17:15,769 --> 00:17:18,603 Ah. I waited all day for that. 339 00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:20,038 What are you looking at? 340 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,607 I rarely see you in uniform. 341 00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:24,142 You like a man in uniform? 342 00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:26,077 Who doesn't? 343 00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:28,430 What do you think? 344 00:17:28,431 --> 00:17:30,782 I think you look less like a real cop and more like a male stripper. 345 00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:35,720 No wonder you're so easily able to catch the bad guys. 346 00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,422 Oh really? 347 00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:39,223 Male stripper. 348 00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:45,229 (MUSIC PLAYS ON PHONE) 349 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:49,300 Have you been a bad boy, Myles? 350 00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:51,302 I may have broken a few laws 351 00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,704 Someone needs to do a little "hard time." 352 00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:17,862 We should get going. 353 00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:20,264 Yeah, we should go. 354 00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,016 I'll get my keys. 355 00:18:22,017 --> 00:18:23,767 I'll get my... I'll be in the car. 356 00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:38,149 * 357 00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:40,001 A gogo bar? 358 00:18:40,002 --> 00:18:41,852 Hey, every once in a while a guy has to get his gay on. 359 00:18:41,855 --> 00:18:44,122 If you're worried about not being gay enough, 360 00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:48,259 I'd say you're good for the next...year, maybe ten. 361 00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:50,712 Two martini's so dirty 362 00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:53,164 the health department will shut your ass down for serving them. 363 00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:54,632 What is is with you and gogo bars? 364 00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:57,368 Hey, now I have four of my favorite things. 365 00:18:57,370 --> 00:19:00,838 Booze, music, hot, almost naked men. 366 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:01,772 That's three. 367 00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:05,309 Awww. 368 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:06,844 You shouldn't snub your nose at gogo bars. 369 00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:11,816 They are an important tool in the gay mans sexual arsenal. 370 00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:14,218 Like candles and chocolate dipped strawberries? 371 00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:15,786 Yes and No. 372 00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:18,756 Look, you need less romance and more sex. 373 00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,191 Ok, bear with me. 374 00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:22,160 Define gogo boy. 375 00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:23,861 A young. 376 00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:25,630 Fit, attractive male. 377 00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,899 Wearing next to nothing - 378 00:19:27,901 --> 00:19:30,668 thrusting his engorged... 379 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,637 Let's just say he's a sexy male dancer. 380 00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:35,106 Yes, exactly, SEXY! 381 00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:37,574 Men are visual animals. We see a hot guy, we get turned on. 382 00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:40,444 Gogo boys are just eye candy here to 383 00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:44,215 stimulate our adrenaline and boost our testosterone. 384 00:19:44,450 --> 00:19:48,052 Ok. 385 00:19:48,053 --> 00:19:51,655 So, they're here to tease. You can't have them, you can just look and gently touch. 386 00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:55,426 This is all fine, 387 00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:57,428 but has nothing to do with me. 388 00:19:57,430 --> 00:20:00,665 That is where you are wrong. It has everything to do with you. 389 00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,501 Guys want them, but they go home with me? 390 00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:05,503 Finally, yes! You want a man, 391 00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:07,672 these boys will help you get one. 392 00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:09,640 I want someone who cares about me. 393 00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:12,160 Not someone who has sex with me 394 00:20:12,161 --> 00:20:14,679 while thinking of some greased up muscle twink in a g-string. 395 00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:15,980 Sex is sex. 396 00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:18,716 For you. 397 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,751 You need to relax, ok? 398 00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:23,321 Look, see that cutie over there? 399 00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:25,289 He's serving up mouth shots, go get him. 400 00:20:25,291 --> 00:20:26,924 Along with possible meningitis. 401 00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:28,859 I think I'll stick with my cocktail, out of my 402 00:20:28,861 --> 00:20:31,596 partially clean glass. 403 00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:34,232 I'd rather not. 404 00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:37,235 I know, but do it anyway. 405 00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:38,336 Here you go. 406 00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:46,010 Wow. 407 00:20:46,012 --> 00:20:48,246 If I'm going to do it, I might as well do it right. 408 00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:58,656 (OFFICE SOUNDS. PHONES RINGING) 409 00:20:58,658 --> 00:20:59,724 Got a minute? 410 00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:02,660 No. I'm up to my nose in briefs. 411 00:21:02,662 --> 00:21:04,795 And not the good kind. 412 00:21:09,502 --> 00:21:12,403 What is wrong with men? 413 00:21:12,405 --> 00:21:14,038 Oh, at least its not a complicated question. 414 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:16,507 Let me clear my calendar for the next decade 415 00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:19,594 and we can figure it out. 416 00:21:19,595 --> 00:21:22,680 Do you have any idea what its like to have an ovary full of eggs screaming "fertilize me?" 417 00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:25,616 It adds a whole new dimension to the misery of being single. 418 00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:27,551 No, and I don't want to either. 419 00:21:27,553 --> 00:21:29,604 In fact, I'd rather not discuss it. 420 00:21:29,605 --> 00:21:31,656 Being gay does not excuse you from having to deal with this. 421 00:21:31,658 --> 00:21:34,625 I'm pretty sure it does. 422 00:21:36,396 --> 00:21:38,029 Besides, I'm newly single now too. 423 00:21:38,031 --> 00:21:40,165 Aw. 424 00:21:40,166 --> 00:21:42,300 Soon it will be time for you and Brody to be a couple, how sweet. 425 00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:44,802 No! And when did I tell you about that? 426 00:21:47,674 --> 00:21:49,907 If I know Brody, he's probably forgotten all about it. 427 00:21:49,909 --> 00:21:51,459 Remind him. 428 00:21:51,460 --> 00:21:53,010 And videotape his expression when you do. 429 00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:54,979 It'll be a good one. 430 00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:57,348 I'm planning on Brody not remembering our little plan. 431 00:21:57,350 --> 00:21:59,517 Why? He's a great catch, and so hot. 432 00:21:59,519 --> 00:22:02,420 But he's not relationship material. 433 00:22:02,422 --> 00:22:05,022 Well, what about the two of you just fooling around? 434 00:22:05,024 --> 00:22:07,792 I cannot understand how your best friend is a sexy cop 435 00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:10,094 and you have not hooked up yet. 436 00:22:10,095 --> 00:22:12,395 Contrary to what you may think, gay people don't all just sleep with each other. 437 00:22:12,398 --> 00:22:16,434 Really? I didn't get that memo and neither did the rest of West Hollywood. 438 00:22:18,604 --> 00:22:22,440 Brody is my friend. You don't sleep with your friends. 439 00:22:23,443 --> 00:22:24,875 How is it that I've never heard of any of these rules. 440 00:22:24,877 --> 00:22:26,911 I swear you make them up as you go along. 441 00:22:26,913 --> 00:22:29,547 Well, Brody and I don't see each other that way. 442 00:22:29,549 --> 00:22:31,382 Don't tell me that you're not his type. 443 00:22:31,384 --> 00:22:33,384 Brody only has one type. 444 00:22:33,386 --> 00:22:35,653 Facing down. 445 00:22:38,958 --> 00:22:40,391 Ok, thanks. 446 00:22:40,393 --> 00:22:41,459 Good chat. 447 00:22:44,464 --> 00:22:54,572 * 448 00:22:54,574 --> 00:23:04,582 * 449 00:23:04,584 --> 00:23:14,592 * 450 00:23:14,594 --> 00:23:24,602 * 451 00:23:24,604 --> 00:23:34,612 * 452 00:23:34,614 --> 00:23:44,622 * 453 00:23:44,624 --> 00:23:54,632 * 454 00:23:54,634 --> 00:24:04,642 * 455 00:24:04,644 --> 00:24:12,683 * 456 00:24:12,685 --> 00:24:13,451 Aw. 457 00:24:14,153 --> 00:24:15,186 Great. 458 00:24:41,214 --> 00:24:46,617 (FACETIME RINGING) 459 00:24:46,619 --> 00:24:49,220 Hey Brody. 460 00:24:49,222 --> 00:24:50,921 Someone's getting busy. 461 00:24:50,923 --> 00:24:51,689 Huh? 462 00:24:51,691 --> 00:24:54,191 Oh, wow, no. 463 00:24:54,193 --> 00:24:57,061 Talk about incriminating evidence. 464 00:24:57,063 --> 00:24:58,780 I'm just cleaning up. 465 00:24:58,781 --> 00:25:00,498 Everything is covered in lube. 466 00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:01,866 That a boy! 467 00:25:01,868 --> 00:25:05,669 It's not what it looks like. What do you want Brody? 468 00:25:05,671 --> 00:25:07,938 I just called to tell you I went south of the border 469 00:25:07,940 --> 00:25:10,074 and I'm not talking about a little road trip to Tijuana. 470 00:25:10,076 --> 00:25:13,511 I just made it with a smoking hot Latino "Papi." 471 00:25:13,513 --> 00:25:15,880 Dude, I don't know what's gotten into me lately. 472 00:25:15,882 --> 00:25:17,581 Probably about nine inches. 473 00:25:17,583 --> 00:25:18,616 Quick. 474 00:25:18,618 --> 00:25:19,683 Nice. 475 00:25:21,654 --> 00:25:24,221 Well, I was having a nice night by myself. 476 00:25:24,223 --> 00:25:25,956 I could tell. 477 00:25:25,958 --> 00:25:28,476 Not that. 478 00:25:28,477 --> 00:25:30,995 I cooked a terrific dinner, read a good book, played cards. 479 00:25:30,997 --> 00:25:34,698 I was about to get into this big, soft bed without some strange guy next to me, 480 00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:36,734 snoring and farting his way through the night. 481 00:25:38,070 --> 00:25:40,237 You sound miserable. 482 00:25:40,239 --> 00:25:41,805 I am. 483 00:25:44,977 --> 00:25:50,147 I'm going to find you the perfect guy. 484 00:25:50,149 --> 00:25:53,501 No, no. 485 00:25:53,502 --> 00:25:56,854 Dude, I'm your best friend. Who is more qualified than me to find a guy for you? 486 00:25:56,856 --> 00:26:01,258 Your argument is compelling, and as always, disconcerting. 487 00:26:01,260 --> 00:26:02,726 Trust me. 488 00:26:02,728 --> 00:26:04,962 I've met a lot of great guys over the years. 489 00:26:04,964 --> 00:26:08,098 If I wasn't a confirmed bachelor, I would have scooped one up myself. 490 00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:11,268 But hey, my loss is your gain. 491 00:26:11,270 --> 00:26:13,304 I'm going to find you a husband, buddy. 492 00:26:13,306 --> 00:26:16,173 You better get buckle up, cause we're going on a manhunt. 493 00:26:16,175 --> 00:26:17,808 I'll brace for impact. 494 00:26:17,810 --> 00:26:18,909 Bye. 495 00:26:22,315 --> 00:26:23,714 Hi, I'm Myles. 496 00:26:23,716 --> 00:26:24,982 It's really nice to meet you. 497 00:26:24,984 --> 00:26:27,117 Brody told me a lot about you. 498 00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:29,453 I'm Stu. 499 00:26:29,454 --> 00:26:31,788 It's so funny you picked this place. It's my favorite coffee shop... 500 00:26:31,791 --> 00:26:33,257 and you bought me an eclair, 501 00:26:33,259 --> 00:26:35,025 I love these. 502 00:26:35,027 --> 00:26:37,595 Here's a double decaf soy latte, too. 503 00:26:37,597 --> 00:26:40,097 I like to do my research before I meet someone. 504 00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:43,267 When you say "you like to do your research before you meet someone," 505 00:26:43,269 --> 00:26:44,935 What exactly do you mean by that? 506 00:26:44,937 --> 00:26:47,838 I like to know who I'm meeting. 507 00:26:47,839 --> 00:26:50,740 I just do a standard Google, Facebook, LinkedIn search before I meet them. 508 00:26:50,743 --> 00:26:52,142 You know, see if we're compatible. 509 00:26:52,144 --> 00:26:54,678 Find out what you're into. 510 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:59,249 So, you do this kind of investigation with every guy you go out with? 511 00:26:59,251 --> 00:27:01,352 It helps me to come up with some things to talk about. 512 00:27:01,354 --> 00:27:03,354 There's nothing worse than meeting a guy for the first time 513 00:27:03,356 --> 00:27:06,790 and having nothing to talk about. 514 00:27:06,792 --> 00:27:09,660 My research also helps me do things like this... 515 00:27:13,065 --> 00:27:15,733 It's your favorite flower. 516 00:27:15,735 --> 00:27:17,635 I also know you played lacrosse in high school. 517 00:27:17,637 --> 00:27:20,971 You love to go camping and you have a French Bulldog named Doug. 518 00:27:22,174 --> 00:27:24,274 Could you excuse me for one moment? 519 00:27:24,276 --> 00:27:26,143 I need to use the restroom. 520 00:27:26,145 --> 00:27:28,112 Do you want me to order for you? 521 00:27:28,114 --> 00:27:30,748 Vanilla latte with extra foam, extra hot. 522 00:27:30,750 --> 00:27:32,116 Right? 523 00:27:32,118 --> 00:27:34,318 Oh wow. My sister just texted. 524 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:36,320 She swallowed a rusty nail. 525 00:27:36,322 --> 00:27:38,789 I'm sorry, I'm going to have to take her to the hospital. 526 00:27:41,427 --> 00:27:42,993 Call me. 527 00:27:47,433 --> 00:27:53,103 (VIDEO GAME SOUNDS) (PHONE RINGS) 528 00:27:53,105 --> 00:27:54,004 What's up? 529 00:27:54,006 --> 00:27:55,673 Ok, I officially give up. 530 00:27:55,675 --> 00:27:58,776 No more men. 531 00:27:58,777 --> 00:28:01,878 Ok, let's start with the mildly over-dramatic and work our way back to the partially sane. 532 00:28:01,881 --> 00:28:04,048 I'm like kryptonite to my Superman. 533 00:28:04,050 --> 00:28:06,316 I'll never find someone to love me. 534 00:28:06,318 --> 00:28:08,952 You're probably just coming on too strong, buddy. 535 00:28:08,954 --> 00:28:12,990 You just need to relax, get to know someone, have a little fun. 536 00:28:12,992 --> 00:28:15,092 So it is me? 537 00:28:15,094 --> 00:28:17,395 It's not you. 538 00:28:17,396 --> 00:28:19,697 Look, I'm just setting you up with the wrong guys, give me one more chance. 539 00:28:19,699 --> 00:28:20,921 No. 540 00:28:20,922 --> 00:28:22,144 I'm heading straight to the kennel. 541 00:28:22,145 --> 00:28:23,367 I'm going to pick out a little white dog 542 00:28:23,369 --> 00:28:25,936 and spend the rest of my days alone. 543 00:28:25,938 --> 00:28:28,839 Come on, one more chance. One more date, I promise. 544 00:28:30,876 --> 00:28:32,993 Ok. 545 00:28:32,994 --> 00:28:35,111 I'll consider one more date, under one condition. 546 00:28:35,114 --> 00:28:37,314 It's non-negotiable. 547 00:28:37,316 --> 00:28:40,417 What are your terms, counselor? 548 00:28:40,419 --> 00:28:41,852 Will you come with? 549 00:28:41,854 --> 00:28:43,420 Oh God. 550 00:28:43,422 --> 00:28:45,806 I won't do this alone. 551 00:28:45,807 --> 00:28:48,191 You pick out a date for me, and I'll pick out someone for you. 552 00:28:48,194 --> 00:28:51,361 If you're there then you'll get to witness the disaster first hand. 553 00:28:51,363 --> 00:28:54,431 It's like having box seats at a 554 00:28:54,433 --> 00:28:56,650 NASCAR event where you know 555 00:28:56,651 --> 00:28:58,868 there's going to be a multi-car pile up before it's all over. 556 00:28:58,871 --> 00:29:00,137 Well as long as you're going into 557 00:29:00,139 --> 00:29:02,272 it with such a positive attitude. 558 00:29:02,274 --> 00:29:05,175 Positive that I'm going to end up alone again at the end of the evening. 559 00:29:05,177 --> 00:29:06,376 Bye. 560 00:29:15,421 --> 00:29:16,754 I hope you like this place. 561 00:29:16,756 --> 00:29:18,355 They have the best stuffed mushrooms. 562 00:29:18,357 --> 00:29:19,890 I love stuffed mushrooms. 563 00:29:19,892 --> 00:29:22,793 I had them the last time I was... 564 00:29:22,795 --> 00:29:24,428 when my date decided to ditch me. 565 00:29:25,331 --> 00:29:27,898 Oh, sorry. 566 00:29:27,900 --> 00:29:29,517 Well, 567 00:29:29,518 --> 00:29:31,135 Hopefully, tonight will be better for you. 568 00:29:31,137 --> 00:29:32,836 Here's to not being dumped tonight. 569 00:29:32,838 --> 00:29:33,904 Wow, sorry. 570 00:29:33,906 --> 00:29:35,839 Myles can be a tad bit depressing. 571 00:29:35,841 --> 00:29:38,375 Hence having the waiter remove all the sharp objects from the table. 572 00:29:38,377 --> 00:29:39,777 You're an asshole. 573 00:29:42,481 --> 00:29:44,081 You don't recognize me, do you? 574 00:29:46,051 --> 00:29:47,351 Grindr. 575 00:29:48,854 --> 00:29:51,789 I tried to message you a couple times, but... 576 00:29:51,791 --> 00:29:53,490 you never responded. 577 00:29:53,492 --> 00:29:55,893 I'm sorry, I'm not really good with technology. 578 00:29:55,895 --> 00:29:58,228 I'm just a simple farm boy. 579 00:29:58,230 --> 00:30:00,864 Oh yeah? Where are you from? 580 00:30:00,866 --> 00:30:02,499 New York. 581 00:30:02,501 --> 00:30:05,135 How was the harvest in Manhattan this season? 582 00:30:07,940 --> 00:30:09,907 I'm originally from Colombia. 583 00:30:09,909 --> 00:30:11,341 My parents are farmers. 584 00:30:11,343 --> 00:30:13,443 Organic coffee trade. 585 00:30:13,445 --> 00:30:15,913 There's no such thing as organic coffee. 586 00:30:15,915 --> 00:30:18,849 I hear it's just a marketing ploy to drive up the cost of beans. 587 00:30:18,851 --> 00:30:21,619 My family's in the coffee business, too. 588 00:30:21,620 --> 00:30:24,388 We sell espresso machines and roasted beans...mostly organic. 589 00:30:26,158 --> 00:30:27,257 What's your family name? 590 00:30:27,259 --> 00:30:28,258 Fiori. 591 00:30:28,260 --> 00:30:30,227 I've heard that name before. 592 00:30:30,229 --> 00:30:32,129 I think my family supplies your coffee beans. 593 00:30:32,131 --> 00:30:32,996 Get out of here. 594 00:30:32,998 --> 00:30:34,031 I'm serious. 595 00:30:34,033 --> 00:30:35,599 I'm a total coffee whore. 596 00:30:35,601 --> 00:30:38,869 A double decaf latte, extra soy, extra foam, extra hot. 597 00:30:38,871 --> 00:30:42,840 You don't want to know what I'd do for one of those before work in the morning. 598 00:30:42,842 --> 00:30:44,692 And you said it was just a little 599 00:30:44,693 --> 00:30:46,543 vanilla froth on the corner of your mouth the other day. 600 00:30:46,545 --> 00:30:50,113 Hey, what goes on between my barista and I is my business. 601 00:30:51,217 --> 00:30:52,382 Do you know Vincent? 602 00:30:54,086 --> 00:30:56,119 Vincent Fiori. He's only my brother! 603 00:30:56,121 --> 00:30:57,888 Are you serious? 604 00:30:57,890 --> 00:30:58,555 Yes. 605 00:30:58,557 --> 00:31:00,357 What an awesome guy. 606 00:31:00,358 --> 00:31:02,158 Yeah, Vincent's been trying to get me to travel with him for years. 607 00:31:02,161 --> 00:31:04,261 I think he's even told me about your farm. 608 00:31:04,263 --> 00:31:05,062 No way. 609 00:31:05,064 --> 00:31:07,014 Yes. 610 00:31:07,015 --> 00:31:08,965 We have one thousand acres of the lushest farmland you've ever seen. 611 00:31:08,968 --> 00:31:10,968 So how about them Dodgers? 612 00:31:10,970 --> 00:31:13,254 I don't follow sports. 613 00:31:13,255 --> 00:31:15,539 Sports are what straight guys talk about when they have nothing better to say, come on! 614 00:31:15,541 --> 00:31:18,242 Yeah, right. 615 00:31:18,243 --> 00:31:20,944 I'm starting to regret having the waiter remove those sharp objects from the table. 616 00:31:20,946 --> 00:31:24,047 Yeah, I know. Give me a minute and I'll forge a shiv out of a breadstick. 617 00:31:24,049 --> 00:31:25,616 Do you think they'll notice if we left? 618 00:31:25,618 --> 00:31:28,151 I've always wanted to be the guy that leaves. 619 00:31:28,153 --> 00:31:31,188 Myles. That is a horrible thing to do to your date. 620 00:31:31,190 --> 00:31:32,155 I know, you're right. 621 00:31:32,157 --> 00:31:34,074 I'm sorry. 622 00:31:34,075 --> 00:31:35,992 I didn't say we shouldn't do it. I just said it was a horrible thing to do. 623 00:31:35,995 --> 00:31:38,095 Which makes it so much fun! 624 00:31:38,097 --> 00:31:40,464 Excuse me. 625 00:31:40,466 --> 00:31:41,899 I'm going to go too. 626 00:31:51,610 --> 00:31:53,443 "Fiori." 627 00:31:53,445 --> 00:31:55,545 Well that went predictably bad. 628 00:31:57,950 --> 00:32:01,218 I'll give you that much. Tonight needs to end with a stiff drink. 629 00:32:01,220 --> 00:32:02,386 Scotch? 630 00:32:02,388 --> 00:32:05,156 No, I got a big meeting tomorrow. 631 00:32:05,157 --> 00:32:07,925 Come on, hang out, chill. You don't have to rush home to Jeff Stryker. 632 00:32:07,927 --> 00:32:09,326 Jeff Stryker? 633 00:32:12,064 --> 00:32:13,597 Oh, the dildo? 634 00:32:16,001 --> 00:32:16,700 Here. 635 00:32:19,038 --> 00:32:21,238 You know I can send my cleaning lady over if you want. 636 00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:24,308 She's only seventy-five bucks a visit. She'll bring her own napalm. 637 00:32:24,310 --> 00:32:26,143 Hey, I made a path to the couch. 638 00:32:26,145 --> 00:32:28,478 That counts for something, right? 639 00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:30,213 You need someone to take care of you. 640 00:32:30,215 --> 00:32:33,283 No, I need to hire a maid. 641 00:32:33,285 --> 00:32:35,085 Everyone needs someone. Even you. 642 00:32:35,087 --> 00:32:37,204 What are you afraid of? 643 00:32:37,205 --> 00:32:39,322 Of being nagged to death about being single. 644 00:32:39,325 --> 00:32:41,625 Oh, we need to get you a man. 645 00:32:41,627 --> 00:32:43,293 Give me your phone. 646 00:32:48,067 --> 00:32:49,166 Alright, take your shirt off. 647 00:32:49,168 --> 00:32:50,067 What? 648 00:32:50,069 --> 00:32:52,386 Take your shirt off. 649 00:32:52,387 --> 00:32:54,704 No. You're not putting half naked pictures of me up on the internet. 650 00:32:54,707 --> 00:32:55,639 No way. 651 00:32:55,641 --> 00:32:57,308 It's not the internet. 652 00:32:57,309 --> 00:32:58,976 It's an app and everyone does it. 653 00:32:58,978 --> 00:33:01,979 Look, you need to try something different for a change. 654 00:33:01,981 --> 00:33:03,580 No. 655 00:33:03,582 --> 00:33:05,282 How do you do it? 656 00:33:05,284 --> 00:33:09,152 Very well and often on all fours. 657 00:33:09,154 --> 00:33:12,689 Trust me, it is better than being alone. 658 00:33:12,691 --> 00:33:15,158 I'm really not comfortable with this. 659 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:18,195 It's all about advertising. If you want to catch a fish, 660 00:33:18,197 --> 00:33:20,097 you've got to show him your worm. 661 00:33:20,099 --> 00:33:23,266 No one is seeing my "worm", 662 00:33:23,268 --> 00:33:25,602 and the shirt stays on. It's non-negotiable. 663 00:33:25,604 --> 00:33:26,536 Fine. 664 00:33:26,538 --> 00:33:28,071 Leave the shirt on. 665 00:33:28,073 --> 00:33:29,639 Now smile and say, 666 00:33:29,641 --> 00:33:33,677 "I'm a bad little boy who's looking for a sexy daddy." 667 00:33:33,679 --> 00:33:35,412 "Cheese" 668 00:33:37,549 --> 00:33:39,549 "Cheese" will do. 669 00:33:44,356 --> 00:33:45,389 Look at that! 670 00:33:45,391 --> 00:33:46,189 Oh my god. 671 00:33:46,191 --> 00:33:47,057 It's beautiful. 672 00:33:47,059 --> 00:33:48,559 No its not. 673 00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:50,060 It's awful, delete it. 674 00:33:50,062 --> 00:33:51,528 No way. 675 00:33:53,465 --> 00:33:56,099 I've got to delete this. 676 00:33:58,337 --> 00:34:00,570 (BEEP) 677 00:34:00,572 --> 00:34:03,073 Wow, ok. 678 00:34:03,075 --> 00:34:04,608 (BEEP) 679 00:34:04,610 --> 00:34:06,243 Wow. 680 00:34:06,245 --> 00:34:07,310 (BEEP) 681 00:34:07,312 --> 00:34:09,346 Now? 682 00:34:11,784 --> 00:34:17,821 * 683 00:34:35,107 --> 00:34:36,640 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 684 00:34:42,581 --> 00:34:44,314 Cute. 685 00:34:44,316 --> 00:34:48,518 I like the "Abercrombie meets 686 00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:52,155 Log-Cabin-Republic can" thing you've got going on. 687 00:34:52,157 --> 00:34:54,491 I have to tell you I've never done this kind of thing before. 688 00:34:54,493 --> 00:34:56,460 And what kind of thing is that? 689 00:34:56,462 --> 00:34:58,695 Meet up with a guy I don't know in the middle of the night. 690 00:34:58,697 --> 00:35:00,130 And what do you think so far? 691 00:35:00,132 --> 00:35:02,099 I'm nervous. 692 00:35:02,101 --> 00:35:04,434 How adorable. You want to come in? 693 00:35:04,436 --> 00:35:07,104 You're not going to kill me, are you? 694 00:35:07,106 --> 00:35:09,172 Do you really think that someone who is planning on killing you, 695 00:35:09,174 --> 00:35:13,143 is going to answer that question with a yes? 696 00:35:13,145 --> 00:35:15,712 Feel like taking your chances? 697 00:35:15,714 --> 00:35:19,583 I wasn't planning on revealing I was this neurotic until much later. 698 00:35:19,585 --> 00:35:22,219 The cat's out of the bag now. 699 00:35:22,221 --> 00:35:24,454 Offer still stands. 700 00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:49,379 Can I get you a drink? 701 00:35:49,381 --> 00:35:51,348 I've got whiskey, beer, vodka. 702 00:35:51,350 --> 00:35:52,782 I'm fine. 703 00:35:52,784 --> 00:35:54,384 Hit? 704 00:35:54,386 --> 00:35:56,520 No, I'm good. 705 00:35:56,522 --> 00:35:57,621 You mind? 706 00:35:57,623 --> 00:35:58,855 No. 707 00:36:03,829 --> 00:36:05,395 Are you sure? 708 00:36:05,397 --> 00:36:07,197 No, I'm fine. 709 00:36:10,402 --> 00:36:12,435 So what happens now? 710 00:36:14,306 --> 00:36:15,939 Whatever you want. 711 00:36:21,780 --> 00:36:27,584 I don't bite... very hard at first. 712 00:36:27,586 --> 00:36:28,885 Sure I can't change your mind 713 00:36:28,887 --> 00:36:30,453 about that drink? 714 00:36:32,858 --> 00:36:34,357 Make it a double. 715 00:36:44,903 --> 00:36:50,507 (FACETIME RINGING) 716 00:36:50,509 --> 00:36:51,575 What's up, buddy? 717 00:36:51,577 --> 00:36:54,911 Hey, I took your advice. 718 00:36:54,913 --> 00:36:56,246 Where are you? 719 00:36:56,248 --> 00:36:59,382 I'm at this seriously hot guy's house. 720 00:36:59,384 --> 00:37:01,785 Don't even say you did it, I will not believe you. 721 00:37:01,787 --> 00:37:04,354 This is, so hot. 722 00:37:04,356 --> 00:37:05,422 Where are you? 723 00:37:05,424 --> 00:37:06,823 His name is Hunter. 724 00:37:06,825 --> 00:37:09,359 Yeah, I'm sure it is. 725 00:37:09,361 --> 00:37:11,995 Shh. Here he comes. I gotta go; I'll call you later. 726 00:37:16,468 --> 00:37:17,434 Hey, wait... 727 00:37:17,435 --> 00:37:18,401 Was that your backup plan? 728 00:37:18,403 --> 00:37:20,303 Oh, no it's just my buddy. 729 00:37:20,305 --> 00:37:23,506 He always calls me when he meets a hot guy so... 730 00:37:25,544 --> 00:37:27,944 I just called him. 731 00:37:27,946 --> 00:37:28,712 (PHONE RINGING) 732 00:37:28,714 --> 00:37:30,680 I'm flattered. 733 00:37:30,682 --> 00:37:32,015 I'm sorry. 734 00:37:32,017 --> 00:37:33,283 You can get it if you want. 735 00:37:33,285 --> 00:37:39,322 One second. 736 00:37:42,861 --> 00:37:44,261 What do you want? 737 00:37:44,263 --> 00:37:45,428 What are you doing? 738 00:37:45,430 --> 00:37:46,863 I'm taking your advice. 739 00:37:46,865 --> 00:37:48,365 My advice? 740 00:37:48,367 --> 00:37:50,300 Yeah, meet people and have fun. 741 00:37:50,302 --> 00:37:51,585 Look, I gotta go. 742 00:37:51,586 --> 00:37:52,869 I don't want to be rude. I'll call you later. 743 00:37:52,871 --> 00:37:53,970 Hey wait. 744 00:37:53,972 --> 00:37:55,538 No, I'll call you later. 745 00:38:00,679 --> 00:38:02,846 That was ridiculous I know. 746 00:38:02,848 --> 00:38:04,648 Now I'm embarrassed. 747 00:38:04,650 --> 00:38:05,582 No. 748 00:38:05,584 --> 00:38:07,350 Don't worry, it was sweet. 749 00:38:09,454 --> 00:38:13,056 Well if there's no one else you'd like to ring up at midnight, 750 00:38:13,058 --> 00:38:15,659 are you ready to get to know each other? 751 00:38:17,496 --> 00:38:20,497 Do you mind if we just hang out tonight? 752 00:38:20,499 --> 00:38:21,865 Oh. 753 00:38:21,867 --> 00:38:25,402 Okay - no worries. 754 00:38:25,404 --> 00:38:27,804 I'm down with whatever. 755 00:38:27,806 --> 00:38:29,539 You sure? 756 00:38:29,541 --> 00:38:30,807 Yeah, that's fine. 757 00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:34,978 I just assumed that was what you wanted. 758 00:38:34,980 --> 00:38:38,815 I'm not really like that. 759 00:38:38,817 --> 00:38:39,916 Me neither. 760 00:38:39,918 --> 00:38:42,352 I'm really just a simple, 761 00:38:42,354 --> 00:38:45,355 romantic homebody. 762 00:38:45,357 --> 00:38:49,359 I'm good with just hanging out tonight. 763 00:38:49,361 --> 00:38:51,695 That's very cool of you. 764 00:38:51,697 --> 00:38:54,764 You just seem like a really great guy. 765 00:38:54,766 --> 00:38:56,366 I do. 766 00:39:01,073 --> 00:39:06,609 You know...if you want to put your hand on my leg again, I won't freak out, I promise. 767 00:39:13,051 --> 00:39:19,089 * 768 00:39:32,738 --> 00:39:38,775 (OFFICE SOUNDS. PHONES RINGING) 769 00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:47,751 (MORNING SOUNDS. BIRDS CHIRPING) 770 00:39:54,059 --> 00:39:55,024 Aww. 771 00:39:55,026 --> 00:39:56,926 How Sweet. 772 00:39:56,928 --> 00:40:00,096 Well that was certainly hot. 773 00:40:00,098 --> 00:40:01,865 I needed that. 774 00:40:01,867 --> 00:40:04,000 Apparently several times. 775 00:40:04,002 --> 00:40:05,568 Listen, I need to go, 776 00:40:05,570 --> 00:40:07,904 I have class. 777 00:40:07,906 --> 00:40:08,972 Oh. 778 00:40:08,974 --> 00:40:10,440 What are you studying? 779 00:40:10,442 --> 00:40:12,742 It's an aerobics class. 780 00:40:12,744 --> 00:40:13,676 Oh. 781 00:40:13,678 --> 00:40:14,644 Is it tough? 782 00:40:14,646 --> 00:40:17,647 It's actually quite fun. 783 00:40:17,648 --> 00:40:20,649 No. I mean getting back to the 1980's when they actually taught aerobics. 784 00:40:20,652 --> 00:40:22,652 It's coming back, I'll have you know. 785 00:40:22,654 --> 00:40:25,021 I'll have to remember to tell my leg warmers that. 786 00:40:25,023 --> 00:40:27,690 What are leg warmers? 787 00:40:27,692 --> 00:40:29,559 You're kidding, right? 788 00:40:29,561 --> 00:40:32,829 No, and unfortunately I don't have time to find out. 789 00:40:32,831 --> 00:40:35,465 I need to leave, 790 00:40:35,467 --> 00:40:36,766 I have to be there at eleven. 791 00:40:36,768 --> 00:40:38,568 Oh my god! It's eleven?! 792 00:40:43,542 --> 00:40:47,510 (PHONE RINGING) 793 00:40:47,512 --> 00:40:50,180 Hey, what happened to you? You never called me back last night. 794 00:40:50,182 --> 00:40:52,081 It's Diane. 795 00:40:52,083 --> 00:40:54,083 Brody, do you know where Myles is? 796 00:40:54,085 --> 00:40:56,486 Well did you try him at home? 797 00:40:56,488 --> 00:40:58,955 It's a wonder you're not a detective yet. 798 00:40:58,957 --> 00:41:02,058 Uh. I don't know. I haven't seen him since last night. 799 00:41:02,060 --> 00:41:05,895 Well, he had a client meeting on the books at 9:30 and he missed it. 800 00:41:05,897 --> 00:41:10,233 Ok. Let me go check in on him. I'll get back to you in ten minutes. 801 00:41:10,235 --> 00:41:11,668 Thank you. 802 00:41:13,538 --> 00:41:15,171 Myles. Are you in there? 803 00:41:15,173 --> 00:41:16,573 Don't you have a key? 804 00:41:18,810 --> 00:41:20,477 Why would I need a key, huh? 805 00:41:21,746 --> 00:41:22,979 Is there a problem officers? 806 00:41:22,981 --> 00:41:26,583 No sir. We're just responding to a call. 807 00:41:26,585 --> 00:41:29,319 Do you know Myles? 808 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:32,054 I do. Quiet fella, but nice. Always a hello in the hallway. 809 00:41:32,057 --> 00:41:33,223 Raised right. 810 00:41:33,225 --> 00:41:35,225 Smells good too. 811 00:41:35,227 --> 00:41:37,227 What did he do? 812 00:41:37,228 --> 00:41:39,228 He didn't do anything. We're just checking in on him. 813 00:41:39,231 --> 00:41:40,530 Did you happen to see him last night? 814 00:41:40,532 --> 00:41:42,182 Nope. 815 00:41:42,183 --> 00:41:43,833 Don't think he came home or I would have heard him. 816 00:41:43,835 --> 00:41:45,201 I hear everything. 817 00:41:45,203 --> 00:41:48,538 Even with this bad ear, I catch it all. 818 00:41:48,540 --> 00:41:50,807 Let me know if you need my help. 819 00:41:50,809 --> 00:41:53,610 I'm a vigilante you know. 820 00:41:53,612 --> 00:41:56,746 I think we've got it covered. But, thank you for your help. 821 00:41:56,748 --> 00:41:59,616 Anything for officers of the law. 822 00:41:59,618 --> 00:42:01,985 Keep up the good work boys. 823 00:42:17,202 --> 00:42:19,569 Myles. 824 00:42:19,571 --> 00:42:22,038 Myles you here? 825 00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:23,573 Myles? 826 00:42:24,809 --> 00:42:26,109 Myles? 827 00:42:32,117 --> 00:42:33,182 Wow. 828 00:42:33,184 --> 00:42:34,884 Who is his roommate, Mr. Clean? 829 00:42:37,756 --> 00:42:39,840 A carafe? 830 00:42:39,841 --> 00:42:41,925 Silver shaker? Who does he entertain here? James Bond? 831 00:42:48,066 --> 00:42:51,568 When blockbuster runs out of DVD's to rent, do they come here and borrow a few from Myles? 832 00:42:51,570 --> 00:42:55,104 Ok. Enough with the running commentary, can you just see if you can find something please. 833 00:42:55,106 --> 00:42:56,139 Like what, dust? 834 00:42:56,141 --> 00:42:57,807 Good luck with that. 835 00:43:01,646 --> 00:43:02,845 Come on. 836 00:43:05,584 --> 00:43:07,150 He never came home last night. 837 00:43:07,152 --> 00:43:09,185 I'm sure he's fine. 838 00:43:09,186 --> 00:43:11,219 Yeah. Famous last words before they find his body in a dumpster. 839 00:43:11,222 --> 00:43:14,324 Look, we need to put an APB out and get more eyes out there looking for him now. 840 00:43:14,326 --> 00:43:18,261 Before we sound the alarm, let's stop by his office and see what we can find. 841 00:43:18,263 --> 00:43:19,762 Relax. 842 00:43:19,764 --> 00:43:20,797 It'll be fine. 843 00:43:20,799 --> 00:43:22,131 Just one quick stop, okay? 844 00:43:22,133 --> 00:43:23,333 Ok. 845 00:43:35,981 --> 00:43:37,146 There you are! 846 00:43:37,148 --> 00:43:38,498 Thanks for covering... 847 00:43:38,499 --> 00:43:39,849 Wait a second. Why do you look like this? 848 00:43:39,851 --> 00:43:41,184 Is this a walk of shame? 849 00:43:41,186 --> 00:43:42,419 I'm not ashamed of anything. 850 00:43:42,420 --> 00:43:43,653 Well, you obviously didn't do it right. 851 00:43:43,655 --> 00:43:45,655 I wouldn't be so sure about that. 852 00:43:45,657 --> 00:43:46,990 Ok. 853 00:43:46,992 --> 00:43:49,859 I want to hear everything, and it better be filthy. 854 00:43:49,861 --> 00:43:51,828 Phone numbers, names, descriptions. 855 00:43:51,830 --> 00:43:53,296 Is video asking too much? 856 00:43:53,298 --> 00:43:55,832 A gentleman never kisses and tells. 857 00:43:55,834 --> 00:43:58,234 A gentleman who doesn't tell is asking for a beating. 858 00:43:58,236 --> 00:44:00,637 Ok. But only because I'm afraid of you right now. 859 00:44:00,639 --> 00:44:02,639 Wait, hold that thought. 860 00:44:02,641 --> 00:44:05,942 Before you start, I have to call Brody and have him call off the SWAT team 861 00:44:05,944 --> 00:44:08,044 he's going to send after you. 862 00:44:09,347 --> 00:44:10,880 (PHONE RINGING) 863 00:44:10,882 --> 00:44:12,415 I was just calling you. 864 00:44:12,417 --> 00:44:14,317 See? I told you he was fine. 865 00:44:14,319 --> 00:44:16,386 Has he been here the whole time? 866 00:44:16,388 --> 00:44:19,022 He just got here. Hence me trying to call you. 867 00:44:19,024 --> 00:44:21,391 Hey, I'm standing right here. 868 00:44:21,393 --> 00:44:24,827 Diane called, said you didn't come into work. She made us all nervous. 869 00:44:24,829 --> 00:44:27,296 I just came in a little late. You really didn't have to call Brody. 870 00:44:27,298 --> 00:44:30,433 Don't blame me, it's my maternal instincts - I'm a slave to them. 871 00:44:32,437 --> 00:44:35,371 Suddenly this day has just taken a turn for the better. 872 00:44:35,373 --> 00:44:38,775 Hello, my name is Diane. 873 00:44:38,777 --> 00:44:40,877 I hope you enjoy the softer of the two sexes. 874 00:44:40,879 --> 00:44:44,313 Hi. I'm officer Garcia...and I do. 875 00:44:46,885 --> 00:44:48,151 Where were you? 876 00:44:48,153 --> 00:44:49,352 I thought something happened. 877 00:44:49,354 --> 00:44:51,120 Something did. 878 00:44:51,122 --> 00:44:53,056 He was just about to tell me all the sordid details. 879 00:44:53,058 --> 00:44:54,323 I'm dying to hear them. 880 00:44:54,325 --> 00:44:56,392 I have a feeling that most of them are filthy. 881 00:44:56,394 --> 00:44:59,762 Well, I can't right now. I've got a ton of work to catch up on. 882 00:44:59,764 --> 00:45:01,264 So if you'd excuse me. 883 00:45:02,867 --> 00:45:04,967 Are you serious? Is he serious? 884 00:45:04,969 --> 00:45:07,170 Look, could you give us a minute? 885 00:45:07,172 --> 00:45:08,705 You take all the time you need. 886 00:45:08,707 --> 00:45:10,740 You. Come with me. 887 00:45:13,445 --> 00:45:15,145 Ok. What were you doing? 888 00:45:15,146 --> 00:45:16,846 What were you thinking, going to some strangers house 889 00:45:16,848 --> 00:45:17,847 in the middle of the night for a hook up? 890 00:45:17,849 --> 00:45:19,916 It was your idea. 891 00:45:19,917 --> 00:45:21,984 I'm trying new things. Plus, you do it all the time. 892 00:45:21,986 --> 00:45:23,419 I'm different than you. 893 00:45:23,421 --> 00:45:24,921 How? 894 00:45:24,923 --> 00:45:26,089 I'm a cop. 895 00:45:26,090 --> 00:45:27,256 I can defend myself, unlike you... 896 00:45:27,258 --> 00:45:29,225 Oh please. 897 00:45:29,227 --> 00:45:30,226 Myles. 898 00:45:30,228 --> 00:45:32,512 I know guys, 899 00:45:32,513 --> 00:45:34,797 some of them are real creeps. I see what people are capable of. 900 00:45:34,799 --> 00:45:35,998 I appreciate your concern. 901 00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:36,966 Really, I do. 902 00:45:36,968 --> 00:45:38,401 But I can take care of myself, 903 00:45:38,403 --> 00:45:40,069 thank you. 904 00:45:40,071 --> 00:45:42,672 Really? 905 00:45:42,673 --> 00:45:45,274 Like the time those girls scouts talked you into buying a dozen boxes of cookies? 906 00:45:45,276 --> 00:45:47,527 That wasn't my fault. 907 00:45:47,528 --> 00:45:49,779 There were four of them and only one of me. 908 00:45:49,781 --> 00:45:52,215 So do you have a first name, Officer Garcia? 909 00:45:52,217 --> 00:45:55,218 It's Richard. 910 00:45:55,220 --> 00:45:57,887 As in...? 911 00:45:57,889 --> 00:46:00,156 Yes, Richard. 912 00:46:00,158 --> 00:46:01,958 Uh huh. 913 00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:04,494 I can see that you're packing a lot of equipment. 914 00:46:04,496 --> 00:46:09,265 Well, we're outfitted with the proper gear to handle any situation. 915 00:46:09,267 --> 00:46:11,033 I can see that. 916 00:46:12,337 --> 00:46:14,470 Look, I've got to get to work. 917 00:46:14,472 --> 00:46:15,905 Can we fight about this later? 918 00:46:15,907 --> 00:46:19,375 Maybe, if I'm not too busy... dad. 919 00:46:21,346 --> 00:46:25,214 So what does a girl have to do to get her hands on your nightstick? 920 00:46:25,216 --> 00:46:26,482 Well, it's actually bigger than it looks. 921 00:46:26,484 --> 00:46:27,517 If you... 922 00:46:28,419 --> 00:46:29,986 Let's go. 923 00:46:30,989 --> 00:46:31,954 It's nice meeting you. 924 00:46:31,956 --> 00:46:33,122 You too. 925 00:46:34,292 --> 00:46:36,359 (mouthing) Oh My God! 926 00:46:37,829 --> 00:46:39,262 So, what's the deal with Diane? 927 00:46:39,264 --> 00:46:40,230 I know. 928 00:46:40,231 --> 00:46:41,197 I'm sorry you got stuck with her. 929 00:46:41,199 --> 00:46:43,399 She is a psycho. 930 00:46:43,401 --> 00:46:47,203 I felt like a piece of meat for her to chew on and spit out. 931 00:46:47,205 --> 00:46:48,938 How awesome is that? 932 00:46:48,940 --> 00:46:50,306 Wait. 933 00:46:50,308 --> 00:46:51,174 What? 934 00:46:51,176 --> 00:46:52,208 "Muy Caliente" 935 00:46:52,210 --> 00:46:53,109 Diane? 936 00:46:53,111 --> 00:46:55,011 As in, you and Diane? 937 00:46:55,013 --> 00:46:56,045 No, No, No. 938 00:46:56,047 --> 00:46:57,680 That is a bad idea. 939 00:46:57,681 --> 00:46:59,314 The two of you could not be more... 940 00:46:59,317 --> 00:47:00,917 different. 941 00:47:00,918 --> 00:47:02,518 Friction is what makes the heat, my friend. 942 00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:04,053 Besides, I'm packing... 943 00:47:04,055 --> 00:47:06,389 and I carry a gun. 944 00:47:06,391 --> 00:47:10,326 Let's leave the bad sexual puns to me. 945 00:47:10,328 --> 00:47:13,963 So, what happened with Myles? 946 00:47:13,965 --> 00:47:17,366 He went home with some guy last night. 947 00:47:17,368 --> 00:47:18,467 That's great. 948 00:47:18,469 --> 00:47:20,002 Your plan worked. 949 00:47:20,004 --> 00:47:21,003 Yeah. 950 00:47:21,005 --> 00:47:22,438 I guess it did, right? 951 00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:24,173 You should be happy; you're off the hook. 952 00:47:24,175 --> 00:47:26,375 Beers on me. You pick the place. 953 00:47:26,377 --> 00:47:27,610 Deal. 954 00:47:32,050 --> 00:47:33,950 * 955 00:47:33,952 --> 00:47:35,885 He clearly doesn't know I carry a gun. 956 00:47:39,224 --> 00:47:42,091 Great. Now he's going to like me that much more! 957 00:47:42,093 --> 00:47:44,160 I have gone to plenty of titty bars with you. 958 00:47:44,162 --> 00:47:45,561 You can get your gogo on with me. 959 00:47:45,563 --> 00:47:47,930 In that case, I need another drink. 960 00:47:47,932 --> 00:47:51,200 Here, oh... 961 00:48:00,144 --> 00:48:01,878 Hey! What the hell? 962 00:48:04,616 --> 00:48:05,915 I'm sorry. 963 00:48:05,917 --> 00:48:08,985 You just caught me off guard. 964 00:48:08,987 --> 00:48:11,454 I was going to warn you about that. 965 00:48:11,456 --> 00:48:13,006 No you weren't. 966 00:48:13,007 --> 00:48:14,557 They're called mouth shots for a reason. 967 00:48:14,559 --> 00:48:16,192 What the hell other kind of shots are there? 968 00:48:16,194 --> 00:48:19,161 Don't answer that. 969 00:48:19,163 --> 00:48:20,563 Alright, I gotta run. 970 00:48:20,565 --> 00:48:23,349 Where are you going? 971 00:48:23,350 --> 00:48:26,134 I told Diane I'd meet up with her after she got off work. 972 00:48:26,137 --> 00:48:27,970 Don't forget your handcuffs. 973 00:48:31,109 --> 00:48:34,977 * 974 00:48:34,979 --> 00:48:41,017 (PHONE BUZZING) 975 00:49:00,972 --> 00:49:06,275 Someone's having WWF Smackdown, screaming until your neighbors bang on the wall-style sex. 976 00:49:06,277 --> 00:49:08,110 It shows? 977 00:49:08,112 --> 00:49:10,713 I'm talking about myself and my spicy Latino lover. 978 00:49:10,715 --> 00:49:12,615 You and Richard? 979 00:49:12,617 --> 00:49:15,418 It's kind of like a spin class- 980 00:49:15,419 --> 00:49:18,220 hot and sweaty, but with handcuffs, a nightstick and... pepper spray. 981 00:49:18,222 --> 00:49:21,290 Ok, pepper spray is too much. 982 00:49:21,292 --> 00:49:24,660 How are you and Hunter doing? 983 00:49:24,661 --> 00:49:28,029 Judging by the recent playlist of eighties love songs, I'd say it's going pretty well. 984 00:49:28,032 --> 00:49:31,000 Awww. 985 00:49:31,001 --> 00:49:33,969 You really are an Easy Bake Oven away from being a twelve year old girl, aren't you? 986 00:49:33,972 --> 00:49:35,671 Bye love. 987 00:49:47,752 --> 00:49:49,151 You ok partner? 988 00:49:49,153 --> 00:49:50,686 I took the new recruits out last night, 989 00:49:50,688 --> 00:49:51,754 to O'Malley's. 990 00:49:51,756 --> 00:49:53,522 I don't know which is worse. 991 00:49:53,524 --> 00:49:55,658 The gay bars or the Irish ones. 992 00:49:55,660 --> 00:49:58,494 I guess it depends on what you're looking for at the end of the rainbow. 993 00:49:58,496 --> 00:50:01,297 At this point I would settle for a well hung Leprechaun. 994 00:50:01,299 --> 00:50:03,299 That's why I'm glad I'm dating again. 995 00:50:03,301 --> 00:50:04,633 I'm in bed by 10 pm. 996 00:50:04,635 --> 00:50:07,269 If I'm ever in bed by ten, 997 00:50:07,271 --> 00:50:09,005 put a bullet in me. 998 00:50:09,006 --> 00:50:10,740 I'm telling you, these past two weeks have been great 999 00:50:10,742 --> 00:50:13,309 and the sex with Diane is amazing. 1000 00:50:13,311 --> 00:50:15,378 Which reminds me, I need some more pepper spray. 1001 00:50:15,380 --> 00:50:20,750 I'm not going to ask, besides, the image of Diane having sex is not something 1002 00:50:20,752 --> 00:50:22,118 I want stuck in my head all day. 1003 00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:22,718 Really? 1004 00:50:22,720 --> 00:50:25,154 Because I do. 1005 00:50:25,156 --> 00:50:27,723 Speaking of which, it's been two weeks for Myles and his boyfriend. 1006 00:50:27,725 --> 00:50:31,127 I know because I'm patiently waiting for him to get dumped again. 1007 00:50:31,129 --> 00:50:34,163 That's the kind of postive, healthy support a best friend deserves. 1008 00:50:34,165 --> 00:50:39,168 Hey, I'm just waiting in the wings like I always do for when he gets his heart broken again. 1009 00:50:39,170 --> 00:50:40,036 Face it. 1010 00:50:40,038 --> 00:50:41,670 You miss him. 1011 00:50:41,672 --> 00:50:44,407 You don't know what you're talking about. 1012 00:50:44,409 --> 00:50:46,375 If you say so, but I do know this: 1013 00:50:46,377 --> 00:50:48,444 if he were my friend and I missed him, 1014 00:50:48,446 --> 00:50:49,712 I'd grab a couple of beers, 1015 00:50:49,714 --> 00:50:51,247 get some Chinese food 1016 00:50:51,249 --> 00:50:53,149 and go over to his place after work. 1017 00:50:53,151 --> 00:50:57,720 Well, you're not me and I don't need your advice. 1018 00:51:03,461 --> 00:51:05,094 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 1019 00:51:05,096 --> 00:51:07,563 Come in. 1020 00:51:07,565 --> 00:51:08,597 Oh hey. 1021 00:51:08,599 --> 00:51:10,833 Brody. 1022 00:51:10,834 --> 00:51:13,068 I thought it would be nice if I surprised you with dinner. 1023 00:51:13,071 --> 00:51:15,237 That's actually a really nice surprise, 1024 00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:18,924 but I already have plans. 1025 00:51:18,925 --> 00:51:22,610 I can see you have plans. Are you having Liberace over for dinner? What is this? 1026 00:51:22,613 --> 00:51:25,681 It's Hunter's first time coming over tonight. 1027 00:51:25,683 --> 00:51:29,351 I wanted to do something special. 1028 00:51:29,353 --> 00:51:33,122 Well, we can do something another night. 1029 00:51:33,124 --> 00:51:35,524 You know you don't have to go. 1030 00:51:35,526 --> 00:51:37,193 You could join us if you want. 1031 00:51:37,195 --> 00:51:38,795 Don't be ridiculous. 1032 00:51:38,796 --> 00:51:40,396 You know I don't do threesomes. 1033 00:51:40,398 --> 00:51:41,764 Since when? 1034 00:51:45,837 --> 00:51:47,436 It's too much, isn't it. 1035 00:51:47,438 --> 00:51:49,538 What? 1036 00:51:49,539 --> 00:51:51,639 No it's ridiculous and over-the-top, 1037 00:51:51,642 --> 00:51:55,244 but it's you and that's what I think is so nice about it. 1038 00:51:55,246 --> 00:52:01,250 Other guys may find it terrifying, but I think it's wonderful. 1039 00:52:01,252 --> 00:52:02,585 You like that about me? 1040 00:52:02,587 --> 00:52:04,220 What that you're a psycho? 1041 00:52:04,222 --> 00:52:07,623 Yes, it makes me feel more normal. 1042 00:52:10,261 --> 00:52:14,330 Look finish getting ready and we'll do something tomorrow. 1043 00:52:14,332 --> 00:52:17,333 Happy hour? 1044 00:52:17,335 --> 00:52:18,400 See you tomorrow. 1045 00:52:18,402 --> 00:52:19,802 Later! 1046 00:52:46,631 --> 00:52:47,696 (PHONE BEEPS) 1047 00:52:53,571 --> 00:52:56,405 Hello Stone. 1048 00:52:56,407 --> 00:52:58,374 I'll see you in five minutes. 1049 00:53:27,772 --> 00:53:28,904 Hey Brody. 1050 00:53:28,906 --> 00:53:30,673 Stone. 1051 00:53:30,675 --> 00:53:32,541 Come on in, have a drink. 1052 00:53:32,543 --> 00:53:34,243 I can see you've done this before. 1053 00:53:34,245 --> 00:53:36,445 Maybe once or twice. 1054 00:53:36,447 --> 00:53:38,847 So, how do you want to do this? 1055 00:53:38,849 --> 00:53:39,848 Quickly. 1056 00:53:39,850 --> 00:53:41,517 I have dinner in an hour. 1057 00:53:41,519 --> 00:53:43,452 I'm fine with being an appetizer. 1058 00:53:45,289 --> 00:53:48,357 Just so you know, you're going to be late for dessert. 1059 00:53:51,696 --> 00:53:57,700 Fine by me. 1060 00:53:59,637 --> 00:54:03,439 (PHONE BUZZING) 1061 00:54:03,441 --> 00:54:05,024 Ignore it. 1062 00:54:05,025 --> 00:54:06,608 It's probably my date tonight. He's obsessive compulsive. 1063 00:54:06,611 --> 00:54:07,643 How annoying. 1064 00:54:07,645 --> 00:54:08,744 I know, right? 1065 00:54:12,717 --> 00:54:15,417 I'm sorry, I can't. Just get it. 1066 00:54:15,419 --> 00:54:17,553 I'll send it to voicemail. 1067 00:54:20,958 --> 00:54:24,994 Oh!! Please tell me your name is not Hunter. 1068 00:54:24,996 --> 00:54:28,330 No, of course it's not. 1069 00:54:28,332 --> 00:54:29,898 Thank god. 1070 00:54:29,900 --> 00:54:31,333 Hunter's my hook-up name, 1071 00:54:31,335 --> 00:54:32,668 like "Stone". 1072 00:54:32,670 --> 00:54:34,470 Oh, Fuck me! 1073 00:54:34,472 --> 00:54:36,305 Sure, if you want me to be on top. 1074 00:54:37,541 --> 00:54:40,442 No. As in God-damn it. 1075 00:54:40,444 --> 00:54:41,877 What's the problem? 1076 00:54:41,879 --> 00:54:45,314 Oh Man, I really wanted you to turn out to be a good guy. 1077 00:54:45,316 --> 00:54:47,049 I am a good guy. 1078 00:54:48,319 --> 00:54:50,719 Well, maybe not marriage material, but... 1079 00:54:50,721 --> 00:54:53,022 I gotta go. 1080 00:54:55,293 --> 00:54:56,792 Dude, chill out! 1081 00:54:56,794 --> 00:54:58,494 This is not a big deal. 1082 00:54:58,496 --> 00:55:00,746 Actually it is. 1083 00:55:00,747 --> 00:55:02,997 Myles is my best friend and he's going to freak out 1084 00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:05,601 when he finds out that I hooked up with his boyfriend. 1085 00:55:05,603 --> 00:55:06,635 Boyfriend? 1086 00:55:06,637 --> 00:55:08,504 We're not boyfriends. 1087 00:55:08,506 --> 00:55:10,339 Myles is a nice guy and a decent lay, 1088 00:55:10,341 --> 00:55:12,474 but that's about where it ends. 1089 00:55:12,476 --> 00:55:14,543 Don't make me knock you out. 1090 00:55:14,545 --> 00:55:16,578 Hey, you're in my house, remember? 1091 00:55:16,580 --> 00:55:17,513 Ok, look. 1092 00:55:17,515 --> 00:55:18,681 This is how this is going to go. 1093 00:55:18,683 --> 00:55:21,016 You go have dinner with Myles and 1094 00:55:21,018 --> 00:55:22,651 you don't say anything about this. 1095 00:55:22,653 --> 00:55:24,853 This never happened. 1096 00:55:24,855 --> 00:55:26,455 You know what, I really think you should leave. 1097 00:55:26,457 --> 00:55:27,823 I'm serious, now! 1098 00:55:27,825 --> 00:55:29,809 I'm not done here. 1099 00:55:29,810 --> 00:55:31,794 Yeah you are, and if you don't leave I'll call the cops. 1100 00:55:31,796 --> 00:55:34,430 I'm a cop. 1101 00:55:34,432 --> 00:55:36,477 Yeah. 1102 00:55:36,478 --> 00:55:38,523 Well if that's the case, 1103 00:55:38,524 --> 00:55:40,569 then I'll just call Myles and tell him I hooked up with his best friend...the cop. 1104 00:55:40,571 --> 00:55:43,439 Ok, calm down. 1105 00:55:43,441 --> 00:55:45,107 I'll go, but I need you to promise 1106 00:55:45,109 --> 00:55:47,543 that you're not going to be an asshole to Myles, ok? 1107 00:55:47,545 --> 00:55:53,015 Just go have dinner with him, don't say anything about this. I am asking you nicely. 1108 00:55:53,017 --> 00:55:54,383 See? 1109 00:55:54,385 --> 00:55:55,818 Now you're being a good boy. 1110 00:55:55,820 --> 00:55:57,786 Just so you know, I'll do what I want. 1111 00:55:57,788 --> 00:55:58,987 And I'll start with throwing you out. 1112 00:55:58,989 --> 00:56:00,823 Got it? 1113 00:56:00,825 --> 00:56:01,890 I got it. 1114 00:56:01,892 --> 00:56:03,475 Good. 1115 00:56:03,476 --> 00:56:05,059 I'm glad we're on the same page again. 1116 00:56:05,062 --> 00:56:06,428 Now leave! 1117 00:56:08,766 --> 00:56:09,832 Asshole. 1118 00:56:09,834 --> 00:56:10,833 Asshole. 1119 00:56:19,977 --> 00:56:21,043 (PHONE BEEPS) 1120 00:56:57,448 --> 00:57:07,556 (PHONE RINGING) 1121 00:57:07,558 --> 00:57:14,029 (PHONE RINGING) 1122 00:57:14,031 --> 00:57:16,165 Hey Myles. 1123 00:57:17,701 --> 00:57:21,637 Hunter broke up with me. 1124 00:57:21,639 --> 00:57:22,604 Awe. 1125 00:57:22,606 --> 00:57:24,006 I'm so sorry, Myles. 1126 00:57:27,011 --> 00:57:29,945 Could you come over? 1127 00:57:29,947 --> 00:57:31,480 Death by chocolate? 1128 00:57:33,951 --> 00:57:38,787 Death by homemade tiramisu. 1129 00:57:38,789 --> 00:57:40,122 I'll be right there. 1130 00:57:46,864 --> 00:57:48,797 One day, you are going to find a guy 1131 00:57:48,799 --> 00:57:51,233 who see's what a great catch you are. 1132 00:57:51,235 --> 00:57:54,002 You are going to make someone the best husband. 1133 00:57:55,840 --> 00:57:57,973 What about you? 1134 00:57:57,975 --> 00:58:00,108 I am not a catch. 1135 00:58:00,110 --> 00:58:01,076 Well that's not true. 1136 00:58:01,078 --> 00:58:02,811 Yes, it is. 1137 00:58:02,813 --> 00:58:06,081 Look, I'm not like you. 1138 00:58:06,083 --> 00:58:08,250 Anybody who would pass up an 1139 00:58:08,252 --> 00:58:10,919 amazing evening like this, 1140 00:58:10,921 --> 00:58:16,658 with you, is a fool. 1141 00:58:16,660 --> 00:58:19,595 Well, I'm obviously doing something wrong. 1142 00:58:19,597 --> 00:58:21,196 You have lousy taste in men. 1143 00:58:21,198 --> 00:58:23,549 Take Hunter... 1144 00:58:23,550 --> 00:58:25,901 - Let's not talk about him. - I think we should... - I really don't want to. 1145 00:58:25,903 --> 00:58:27,503 Let me finish. 1146 00:58:33,143 --> 00:58:37,646 Anybody who would break up with you in a text is a creep and not worth your time. 1147 00:58:37,648 --> 00:58:41,950 You think I don't know that? I didn't even text him back. 1148 00:58:41,952 --> 00:58:46,288 I'm sick of being mistreated by asshole guys who don't appreciate me. 1149 00:58:46,290 --> 00:58:49,658 Good for you Myles. 1150 00:58:49,660 --> 00:58:53,996 Now, can we just move on? 1151 00:58:53,998 --> 00:58:56,131 Let's just enjoy the fact that we're hanging out together. 1152 00:58:56,133 --> 00:58:58,567 Yes. 1153 00:58:58,568 --> 00:59:01,002 Let's make tonight about this amazing tiramisu that you made. 1154 00:59:01,005 --> 00:59:03,071 - And us. - And us. 1155 00:59:12,917 --> 00:59:18,854 So, run this by me one more time. Why didn't you tell him what happened the other night? 1156 00:59:18,856 --> 00:59:21,557 I just couldn't. 1157 00:59:21,558 --> 00:59:24,259 If you knew Myles and how upset it would make him, trust me, you wouldn't have told him either. 1158 00:59:24,261 --> 00:59:26,862 Actually, yes, I would have. 1159 00:59:26,864 --> 00:59:29,064 Myles can't handle these things. 1160 00:59:29,066 --> 00:59:31,567 He's a grown man. 1161 00:59:31,568 --> 00:59:34,069 Yeah, on the outside maybe but on the inside he's all... 1162 00:59:34,071 --> 00:59:35,771 Hello Kitty. 1163 00:59:35,773 --> 00:59:37,172 He's never going to find out. 1164 00:59:37,174 --> 00:59:39,691 That's not how it works. 1165 00:59:39,692 --> 00:59:42,209 Trust me, they always find out. And even if they don't, 1166 00:59:42,212 --> 00:59:44,535 you'll always think in the back of your head 1167 00:59:44,536 --> 00:59:46,859 that they know something, but just aren't saying anything. 1168 00:59:46,860 --> 00:59:49,183 Does someone have a little baggage from a past relationship they want to talk about? 1169 00:59:49,186 --> 00:59:50,986 Let's just say, I had to learn the hard way. 1170 00:59:50,988 --> 00:59:55,057 Fine, I'll talk to him tonight. 1171 00:59:57,061 --> 00:59:58,293 -Ok? - Alright. 1172 00:59:59,063 --> 01:00:05,133 * 1173 01:00:08,138 --> 01:00:09,671 How you doing? 1174 01:00:09,673 --> 01:00:12,207 I liked him, he was a great guy. 1175 01:00:12,209 --> 01:00:14,176 He wasn't that great. 1176 01:00:14,178 --> 01:00:17,429 Hi Brody... Martini? 1177 01:00:17,430 --> 01:00:20,681 No thanks, I'm probably just going to get it thrown in my face. 1178 01:00:20,684 --> 01:00:23,352 What did you do? 1179 01:00:23,353 --> 01:00:26,021 Can I just start off by saying that it was not my fault. 1180 01:00:26,023 --> 01:00:29,858 That is the worst way to start a conversation. That's like saying, 1181 01:00:29,860 --> 01:00:31,660 "I know this looks bad", or, 1182 01:00:31,662 --> 01:00:33,695 "This is just going to hurt a little bit." 1183 01:00:33,697 --> 01:00:36,932 I can tell already, this is not going to end well. 1184 01:00:36,934 --> 01:00:38,968 I've known you for over ten years. 1185 01:00:38,969 --> 01:00:41,003 Nothing you say is going to bother me or surprise me anymore. 1186 01:00:41,005 --> 01:00:43,038 So just tell me. 1187 01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:46,775 I ran Hunter's ID down at the station. 1188 01:00:46,777 --> 01:00:50,312 His real name is Steven Adams. He's from Nebraska. 1189 01:00:50,314 --> 01:00:52,981 Well, I know where he's from. I didn't know his name wasn't Hunter. 1190 01:00:52,983 --> 01:00:55,951 Yeah and it's not Stone either. That's my point. 1191 01:00:55,953 --> 01:00:57,686 What's the point? And who is Stone? 1192 01:00:57,688 --> 01:01:00,389 Exactly! Neither of us knew his real name. 1193 01:01:00,391 --> 01:01:02,157 Just tell me what happened. 1194 01:01:04,395 --> 01:01:06,228 After I left your place the other night, 1195 01:01:06,230 --> 01:01:10,298 I went on Grindr to meet someone. 1196 01:01:12,436 --> 01:01:14,970 -You hooked up with Hunter? -I didn't know it was him! 1197 01:01:14,972 --> 01:01:17,906 He said his name was Stone. I mean, who uses that name anyway. 1198 01:01:17,908 --> 01:01:19,908 He texted me on Grindr, I went over there. 1199 01:01:19,910 --> 01:01:23,845 I did not know what I was doing was wrong. I would never do that to you. 1200 01:01:23,847 --> 01:01:25,580 You suck. 1201 01:01:25,581 --> 01:01:27,314 How was I supposed to know? It's not like you introduced me to the guy. 1202 01:01:27,317 --> 01:01:29,568 You're the one that ruined this for me. 1203 01:01:29,569 --> 01:01:31,820 I met a great guy and you just couldn't stand it, could you? 1204 01:01:31,822 --> 01:01:34,122 He is not a great guy, believe me. 1205 01:01:34,124 --> 01:01:36,191 Certainly not the Prince Charming you think he is. 1206 01:01:36,193 --> 01:01:37,859 Trust me, Hunter is a creep. 1207 01:01:37,861 --> 01:01:39,795 Trust you? 1208 01:01:39,797 --> 01:01:45,801 Think about it Myles. It's always the same with you. You bring this on yourself. 1209 01:01:45,803 --> 01:01:50,338 You keep thinking that one guy is going to be exactly what you need to be happy. 1210 01:01:50,340 --> 01:01:53,408 It is not the case, never will be. 1211 01:01:56,747 --> 01:02:00,015 Well, sadly that's true isn't it? 1212 01:02:00,017 --> 01:02:02,050 You're right, things have got to change. 1213 01:02:02,052 --> 01:02:04,386 I gotta to go, sorry I can't do this anymore. 1214 01:02:04,388 --> 01:02:08,023 -Wait, what? -One martini. Dirty. 1215 01:02:10,961 --> 01:02:12,894 Myles. 1216 01:02:12,896 --> 01:02:14,463 Myles. 1217 01:02:27,811 --> 01:02:29,411 Look at this guy. 1218 01:02:29,413 --> 01:02:32,214 He didn't even attempt to slow down when he saw us. 1219 01:02:32,216 --> 01:02:34,350 So light him up! 1220 01:02:34,351 --> 01:02:36,485 -He was only going forty. -He's speeding right in front of us. 1221 01:02:36,487 --> 01:02:38,854 People need to learn to respect authority. Light him up! 1222 01:02:38,856 --> 01:02:42,290 -It's not a big deal. -I said, let's get them! 1223 01:02:42,292 --> 01:02:44,493 So now you're that asshole cop who chases down 1224 01:02:44,495 --> 01:02:47,262 an '87 Corolla for going fifteen miles over the speed limit? 1225 01:02:50,334 --> 01:02:51,633 Yes. 1226 01:02:51,634 --> 01:02:52,933 You really need to straighten this thing out with Myles. 1227 01:02:52,936 --> 01:02:55,303 I've tried calling, texting, emailing him. 1228 01:02:55,305 --> 01:02:58,273 He obviously doesn't want to talk to me. 1229 01:02:58,275 --> 01:03:00,809 I may not be the smartest guy in the world but I can take a hint... 1230 01:03:00,811 --> 01:03:02,377 ...when someone doesn't want to see me. 1231 01:03:02,378 --> 01:03:03,944 You have to go over there and work this out. 1232 01:03:03,947 --> 01:03:05,947 Knock his door down if you have to. 1233 01:03:05,949 --> 01:03:09,451 -He doesn't want to talk to me. -You're a cop for Christ's sake. 1234 01:03:09,453 --> 01:03:12,154 Pull your balls out of your ass and man up. 1235 01:03:12,156 --> 01:03:15,090 You miss him. Make it right. 1236 01:03:16,393 --> 01:03:17,993 Fine. 1237 01:03:26,503 --> 01:03:29,304 Myles, open up. 1238 01:03:29,306 --> 01:03:30,438 Myles, come on, open up. 1239 01:03:30,440 --> 01:03:33,175 I need you to open up, just talk to me. 1240 01:03:33,177 --> 01:03:36,244 Knock one more time and I'm calling the cops. 1241 01:03:41,819 --> 01:03:43,885 Officer. 1242 01:03:43,887 --> 01:03:46,555 Under-cover, huh? A sting operation. 1243 01:03:46,557 --> 01:03:48,056 I get it. 1244 01:03:48,058 --> 01:03:49,591 Still after Myles? 1245 01:03:49,593 --> 01:03:50,559 Have you seen him? 1246 01:03:50,561 --> 01:03:53,361 Nope. What did he do? 1247 01:03:53,363 --> 01:03:55,130 He didn't do anything. 1248 01:03:55,132 --> 01:04:00,068 It's always the quiet ones. I knew he was a bad seed. 1249 01:04:00,070 --> 01:04:02,537 That isn't the case, sir. 1250 01:04:02,539 --> 01:04:04,506 Of course you can't say anything. 1251 01:04:04,508 --> 01:04:07,275 I know what's going on. 1252 01:04:07,277 --> 01:04:10,345 I just hope you get the son-of-a bitch! 1253 01:04:19,857 --> 01:04:21,623 Myles. 1254 01:04:21,625 --> 01:04:23,558 Come on. 1255 01:04:25,929 --> 01:04:26,995 Myles. 1256 01:04:27,965 --> 01:04:31,600 * 1257 01:04:31,602 --> 01:04:33,635 Pizza, wings and beer. 1258 01:04:33,637 --> 01:04:35,403 Who needs men? 1259 01:04:38,609 --> 01:04:41,376 We'll have more fun without them. 1260 01:04:41,378 --> 01:04:45,347 -No we won't. -You're right. 1261 01:04:45,349 --> 01:04:47,515 I'll try not to bitch about how much men suck tonight. 1262 01:04:47,517 --> 01:04:51,052 Why? It's my favorite subject. 1263 01:04:51,054 --> 01:04:53,255 Luckily for you I have the perfect evening planned. 1264 01:04:53,257 --> 01:04:58,226 Comfort food, ice cream and... 1265 01:04:58,228 --> 01:05:00,161 a romantic movie. 1266 01:05:00,163 --> 01:05:02,097 I love that we are doing this. 1267 01:05:02,099 --> 01:05:04,466 -I do it every day. -What about Richard? 1268 01:05:04,468 --> 01:05:06,601 Are you kidding? It's his favorite thing. 1269 01:05:06,603 --> 01:05:10,605 Two bowls of pistachio froyo, twin snuggies and a romantic movie. 1270 01:05:10,607 --> 01:05:12,607 We cry all night long. 1271 01:05:12,609 --> 01:05:15,677 -Lucky bitch. -I know. 1272 01:05:18,181 --> 01:05:22,217 Diane, I need to tell you something. Please don't be upset. 1273 01:05:22,219 --> 01:05:27,022 Any conversation that begins with, "please don't be upset", upsets me. 1274 01:05:27,024 --> 01:05:31,526 I need to start fresh. Get somewhere far away from here. 1275 01:05:31,528 --> 01:05:33,328 You're moving to the Valley? 1276 01:05:33,330 --> 01:05:36,364 No, I'm thinking of transferring to the New York office. 1277 01:05:36,366 --> 01:05:40,669 There's a job opening there for a senior litigator that starts next week. 1278 01:05:40,671 --> 01:05:42,437 I know you're not going to agree with this... 1279 01:05:42,439 --> 01:05:47,042 You want to leave and move to New York? 1280 01:05:47,044 --> 01:05:49,311 We both know I should go. 1281 01:05:49,313 --> 01:05:52,280 Actually, we don't. I think you're running away from your problems. 1282 01:05:52,282 --> 01:05:54,382 Please don't make this any harder for me than it already is. 1283 01:05:54,384 --> 01:05:55,617 I really need to do this. 1284 01:05:55,619 --> 01:05:58,804 No you don't! 1285 01:05:58,805 --> 01:06:01,990 It's an irrational, impetuous and totally emotionally clouded decision. 1286 01:06:01,992 --> 01:06:06,061 I need to break this cycle and I can't do it from Los Angeles. 1287 01:06:09,433 --> 01:06:12,467 Fine. I'll concede. 1288 01:06:12,469 --> 01:06:17,305 -But only under one condition. -Let the negotiations begin. 1289 01:06:17,307 --> 01:06:19,975 You have to let me have a going away party for you this weekend. 1290 01:06:19,977 --> 01:06:21,476 Absolutely not. No party. 1291 01:06:21,478 --> 01:06:23,345 Just a few friends over for drinks at my place? 1292 01:06:23,347 --> 01:06:26,414 -No more than six. -Deal. 1293 01:06:32,723 --> 01:06:36,658 So how are you going to tell Brody that you're moving to the other side of the country? 1294 01:06:41,598 --> 01:06:44,532 I don't know yet. 1295 01:06:46,403 --> 01:06:48,470 I could have Richard do it. 1296 01:06:55,545 --> 01:06:57,612 Brody. 1297 01:07:03,120 --> 01:07:05,186 And to think he's a cop. 1298 01:07:12,796 --> 01:07:19,067 (TELEVISION SOUNDS) 1299 01:07:26,543 --> 01:07:30,478 If you were a horse, I'd be obliged to put you down. 1300 01:07:32,549 --> 01:07:34,783 What time is it? Am I late? 1301 01:07:34,785 --> 01:07:36,684 Let's just say you're early for lunch. 1302 01:07:36,686 --> 01:07:38,753 Why don't you get in the shower? 1303 01:07:40,157 --> 01:07:43,091 So, how long is this going to go on? 1304 01:07:43,093 --> 01:07:46,528 Just give me five minutes to take a shower, ok? 1305 01:07:46,530 --> 01:07:48,496 Not the shower. The self-pity and depression. 1306 01:07:48,498 --> 01:07:50,765 It's been every night this week. 1307 01:07:50,767 --> 01:07:53,301 Hey, I've finally found something I'm good at. 1308 01:07:53,303 --> 01:07:56,571 Why quit when I've almost mastered it? 1309 01:07:56,573 --> 01:08:00,141 Well, since you're already down, I've got something else for you. 1310 01:08:00,143 --> 01:08:02,377 It's an invitation. 1311 01:08:02,379 --> 01:08:03,778 From who? 1312 01:08:03,780 --> 01:08:05,213 Diane. 1313 01:08:05,215 --> 01:08:09,551 She's having a few people over. 1314 01:08:09,553 --> 01:08:11,252 Is Myles going to be there? 1315 01:08:11,254 --> 01:08:14,222 Yep. 1316 01:08:14,223 --> 01:08:17,191 This is the perfect opportunity for me to smooth things out with Myles. 1317 01:08:17,194 --> 01:08:20,695 In theory. 1318 01:08:20,697 --> 01:08:22,564 Was this Diane's idea? 1319 01:08:22,566 --> 01:08:26,734 Absolutely. So you'll come? 1320 01:08:26,736 --> 01:08:30,505 Hell yeah. Now I got something to look forward to. 1321 01:08:33,577 --> 01:08:36,644 Me too. 1322 01:08:41,451 --> 01:08:46,354 * 1323 01:08:46,356 --> 01:08:48,490 I kept it small like you wanted. 1324 01:08:48,492 --> 01:08:50,358 I asked you not to do anything. 1325 01:08:50,360 --> 01:08:53,128 This was my compromise. 1326 01:08:53,130 --> 01:08:55,714 I'll miss you. 1327 01:08:55,715 --> 01:08:58,299 I'm well aware. I still can't believe you're doing this. 1328 01:08:58,301 --> 01:09:01,736 Five days on the open road will do me good. 1329 01:09:01,738 --> 01:09:03,722 Wait until you hit Nevada. 1330 01:09:03,723 --> 01:09:05,707 You're going to regret that decision all the way to the Statue of Liberty. 1331 01:09:05,709 --> 01:09:07,092 Brody's here. 1332 01:09:07,093 --> 01:09:08,476 I'll be in the bomb shelter if anyone's needs me. 1333 01:09:08,478 --> 01:09:10,362 Oh no, you're not going anywhere. 1334 01:09:10,363 --> 01:09:12,247 We need someone who can operate a handgun. 1335 01:09:12,249 --> 01:09:14,215 Hey! 1336 01:09:14,217 --> 01:09:16,618 Thank you so much for inviting me. 1337 01:09:16,620 --> 01:09:19,171 It's good to see you. 1338 01:09:19,172 --> 01:09:21,723 So, what's the occasion? You got a promotion, right? 1339 01:09:26,229 --> 01:09:28,329 Richard, will you help me dear? 1340 01:09:28,331 --> 01:09:30,431 Oh, and bring a shovel. 1341 01:09:30,433 --> 01:09:33,985 Would you excuse us? 1342 01:09:33,986 --> 01:09:37,538 He's going to be really busy digging a six by three foot hole out back. 1343 01:09:37,541 --> 01:09:39,908 What was that about? 1344 01:09:39,910 --> 01:09:42,877 It's just that this isn't exactly a party for my promotion. 1345 01:09:42,879 --> 01:09:45,380 So, you didn't get a promotion? 1346 01:09:45,382 --> 01:09:47,916 I technically did, I guess you could say that. 1347 01:09:47,918 --> 01:09:50,351 Well, congrats! 1348 01:09:50,353 --> 01:09:53,288 It's also a going away party. 1349 01:09:53,290 --> 01:09:54,856 For who? 1350 01:09:59,262 --> 01:10:02,330 Oh, you're leaving. 1351 01:10:04,367 --> 01:10:06,434 Where? When? 1352 01:10:07,771 --> 01:10:10,371 I head out on Saturday morning. 1353 01:10:10,373 --> 01:10:13,408 Drive across country to New York. 1354 01:10:13,410 --> 01:10:18,513 Saturday to New York and this is how you tell me? 1355 01:10:18,515 --> 01:10:23,418 -Well Richard was going to tell you. -You asked Richard to tell me? 1356 01:10:23,420 --> 01:10:25,486 Diane did. 1357 01:10:28,525 --> 01:10:32,627 How could you leave and not say anything to me? 1358 01:10:32,629 --> 01:10:33,795 I haven't left yet. 1359 01:10:33,797 --> 01:10:37,498 Yeah, but you're planning on it Myles. 1360 01:10:37,500 --> 01:10:39,651 Why? 1361 01:10:39,652 --> 01:10:41,803 Because I don't have a reason to stay anymore. 1362 01:10:41,805 --> 01:10:46,274 I'm not a good enough reason? 1363 01:10:46,276 --> 01:10:48,643 You tell me, Brody. 1364 01:10:48,645 --> 01:10:50,745 If this is about the Hunter thing, 1365 01:10:50,746 --> 01:10:52,846 I told you I did not mean to mess it up for you. 1366 01:10:52,849 --> 01:10:55,416 I was just trying to protect you. 1367 01:10:55,418 --> 01:10:57,719 I know that and I'm not mad about it anymore. 1368 01:10:57,721 --> 01:11:01,006 I'm the reason I need to leave. 1369 01:11:01,007 --> 01:11:04,292 I need to grow up and stop looking for my Prince Charming to come and save me. 1370 01:11:04,294 --> 01:11:06,861 That is what I've been telling you the whole time. 1371 01:11:06,863 --> 01:11:08,930 Well then, I agree with you. 1372 01:11:12,369 --> 01:11:17,672 So you think that going to New York is what's going to make you happy. 1373 01:11:17,674 --> 01:11:20,008 It's a start. 1374 01:11:20,010 --> 01:11:25,446 Well then, I guess that's that. 1375 01:11:25,448 --> 01:11:27,515 I guess so. 1376 01:11:44,768 --> 01:11:50,805 * 1377 01:11:54,978 --> 01:11:56,577 (PHONE BEEPS) 1378 01:12:32,782 --> 01:12:36,851 -Can I get you another? -No. I'm good, thanks. 1379 01:12:46,596 --> 01:12:50,498 I'm mad at you. 1380 01:12:50,499 --> 01:12:54,401 I know, but being that I'm your only friend now and your partner at work, 1381 01:12:54,404 --> 01:12:57,138 I think you're going to have to get over it pretty quickly. 1382 01:12:59,642 --> 01:13:03,511 You knew that was a going away party. 1383 01:13:03,513 --> 01:13:08,549 I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I figured you deserved to hear it directly from Myles. 1384 01:13:08,551 --> 01:13:11,786 Plus, if I had told you, you wouldn't have come to say goodbye. 1385 01:13:11,788 --> 01:13:13,688 You don't know me. 1386 01:13:13,690 --> 01:13:15,757 It's like we never even met. 1387 01:13:17,394 --> 01:13:18,626 You know, he's right? 1388 01:13:18,628 --> 01:13:22,530 It is better for both of us if he just leaves. 1389 01:13:22,532 --> 01:13:24,932 Well, you certainly know what's best. 1390 01:13:24,934 --> 01:13:27,835 I'm not like Myles, I don't need anyone. 1391 01:13:27,837 --> 01:13:31,939 It's true. You're not miserable at all when he's gone. 1392 01:13:31,941 --> 01:13:33,875 Myles is a hopeless romantic. 1393 01:13:33,877 --> 01:13:36,577 All he wants is someone to love him. 1394 01:13:36,579 --> 01:13:39,614 Yeah, so unreasonable. 1395 01:13:39,616 --> 01:13:43,651 Plus, he's a people pleaser. All he cares about is the guy he's with. 1396 01:13:43,653 --> 01:13:45,920 That's horrible. I can see why guys would hate that. 1397 01:13:45,922 --> 01:13:51,659 Myles is like a penguin. He will bond to you, he's dependable and trustworthy. 1398 01:13:51,661 --> 01:13:54,962 I'm really starting to hate that guy. 1399 01:13:54,964 --> 01:13:58,433 I mean, could you imagine if Myles and I were together. 1400 01:13:58,435 --> 01:14:03,037 Not at all. It's crazy to think that two people who care about each other 1401 01:14:03,039 --> 01:14:08,910 as much as you two do would ever, ever want to be in a relationship. 1402 01:14:08,912 --> 01:14:12,980 I know, right? I mean, if Myles were the perfect guy for me, 1403 01:14:12,982 --> 01:14:15,450 I would have realized that years ago. 1404 01:14:15,452 --> 01:14:18,336 Absolutely. 1405 01:14:18,337 --> 01:14:21,221 I mean there is no way you'd overlook something so obvious for so long. 1406 01:14:21,224 --> 01:14:23,791 Exactly. 1407 01:14:23,793 --> 01:14:26,093 Myles just wants to be married. 1408 01:14:26,095 --> 01:14:32,166 And all I want is for him to be happy. 1409 01:14:34,571 --> 01:14:39,507 Then I guess the only way for that to happen is to remove you from his life. 1410 01:14:42,712 --> 01:14:45,780 Yeah, I guess. 1411 01:14:51,554 --> 01:14:57,625 * 1412 01:15:55,985 --> 01:15:57,585 To Brody. 1413 01:15:59,222 --> 01:16:01,856 I hope you find someone to love you. 1414 01:16:01,858 --> 01:16:04,926 I hope you find someone to love. 1415 01:16:22,612 --> 01:16:27,048 Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to bear witness 1416 01:16:27,050 --> 01:16:30,117 to the matrimony of these two men. 1417 01:16:30,119 --> 01:16:37,925 This is a relationship that stands for love and loyalty. 1418 01:16:37,927 --> 01:16:42,597 This is a relationship that stands for honesty and trust. 1419 01:16:42,599 --> 01:16:48,669 But most importantly, this is a relationship that stands for friendship. 1420 01:16:48,671 --> 01:16:54,909 Because before they were lovers, they were friends, 1421 01:16:54,911 --> 01:16:59,947 and it is this seed of friendship that love was their destiny. 1422 01:16:59,949 --> 01:17:04,118 One cannot dictate or determine the course of love. 1423 01:17:04,120 --> 01:17:10,191 For if love finds you worthy, then love directs you. 1424 01:17:11,928 --> 01:17:18,933 It is this sacred and holy estate which you enter into as one. 1425 01:17:18,935 --> 01:17:25,072 And if there is anyone who has just cause why these two should not join as one, 1426 01:17:25,074 --> 01:17:30,144 let him speak now or forever hold his peace. 1427 01:17:45,995 --> 01:17:51,198 Do you take this man to love, honor and comfort, 1428 01:17:51,200 --> 01:17:54,035 and keep in sickness and in health, 1429 01:17:54,037 --> 01:17:56,804 in sadness and in joy, 1430 01:17:56,806 --> 01:18:01,375 and cherish and bestow upon him your deepest devotion, 1431 01:18:01,377 --> 01:18:04,445 for as long as you both shall live? 1432 01:18:04,447 --> 01:18:06,213 I do. 1433 01:18:09,285 --> 01:18:14,088 Then, by the power vested in me, 1434 01:18:14,090 --> 01:18:16,424 I now pronounce you 1435 01:18:16,426 --> 01:18:20,394 husband and husband. 1436 01:18:20,396 --> 01:18:23,998 You may now kiss your groom. 1437 01:18:36,946 --> 01:18:43,017 * 1438 01:19:12,381 --> 01:19:14,448 Come on! Are you kidding me? 1439 01:19:22,091 --> 01:19:25,526 Oh... I can't. 1440 01:19:25,528 --> 01:19:28,796 Come on, Come on, Come on! 1441 01:20:12,308 --> 01:20:14,341 Myles, are you in there? 1442 01:20:14,343 --> 01:20:16,811 Myles, are you in there? 1443 01:20:16,813 --> 01:20:18,245 Myles! 1444 01:20:18,247 --> 01:20:20,981 -Myles! -What are you god-damned kids up to now? 1445 01:20:20,983 --> 01:20:24,485 -I'm sorry to disturb you, sir. -I'm sorry officer, I didn't realize it was you. 1446 01:20:24,487 --> 01:20:26,520 Still haven't caught him yet? 1447 01:20:26,522 --> 01:20:28,522 Have you seen him today? 1448 01:20:28,523 --> 01:20:30,523 Saw him this morning. He woke me up making a ruckus. 1449 01:20:30,526 --> 01:20:33,260 I went back to sleep. Which I never do by the way. 1450 01:20:33,262 --> 01:20:36,063 Damn Sciatica kept me up all night. 1451 01:20:36,065 --> 01:20:38,566 I got one of these dial mattresses. 1452 01:20:38,568 --> 01:20:42,203 I changed it from a four to a six, I thought that might help. 1453 01:20:42,205 --> 01:20:44,305 I slept better on my old Sealy. 1454 01:20:44,307 --> 01:20:47,909 You think they'd let me take this one back? 1455 01:20:47,910 --> 01:20:51,512 -It's only been six weeks. -I really have to get to Myles, so if you know where he is. 1456 01:20:51,514 --> 01:20:55,149 Gone now. I guess you missed him. 1457 01:20:55,151 --> 01:20:57,218 Yeah. I guess I did. 1458 01:20:57,220 --> 01:21:00,020 You're gonna go after him, aren't you? 1459 01:21:00,022 --> 01:21:02,623 He's not a criminal. 1460 01:21:02,625 --> 01:21:08,896 I know that. I'm not blind and stupid. You obviously love him. 1461 01:21:08,898 --> 01:21:11,866 I do. 1462 01:21:11,868 --> 01:21:15,002 Then go after him! 1463 01:21:15,004 --> 01:21:20,441 Don't make the same mistake I did and end up like me. Trust me. 1464 01:21:20,443 --> 01:21:23,143 Don't just stand there, go get him! 1465 01:21:23,145 --> 01:21:25,179 He's going to New York. 1466 01:21:25,181 --> 01:21:27,581 I don't know where he is. I'm not going to catch up to him. 1467 01:21:27,583 --> 01:21:31,886 You've got a cop car don't you? Light up that son-of-a bitch. I've seen them go 1468 01:21:31,888 --> 01:21:38,292 two-hundred miles an hour. Tear ass down that freeway! Don't let him get away. 1469 01:21:38,294 --> 01:21:42,363 Ok. Ok. 1470 01:21:43,499 --> 01:21:46,567 Crazy kids. 1471 01:21:54,377 --> 01:21:57,378 (POLICE SIREN) 1472 01:21:57,380 --> 01:21:59,446 I'm sorry for getting you out of bed so early for this. 1473 01:21:59,448 --> 01:22:02,216 Who needs sleep on a Saturday morning? 1474 01:22:02,218 --> 01:22:04,318 Besides, this is fun. 1475 01:22:04,320 --> 01:22:06,253 It's just like those movies Diane makes me watch. 1476 01:22:06,255 --> 01:22:08,289 I have to catch up to Myles before it's too late. 1477 01:22:08,291 --> 01:22:10,224 Do me a favor, call him and see where he is. 1478 01:22:10,226 --> 01:22:13,260 No way! That is not how's its done. 1479 01:22:13,262 --> 01:22:15,062 Myles is a romantic. 1480 01:22:15,064 --> 01:22:16,614 We have to catch up with him. 1481 01:22:16,615 --> 01:22:18,165 It's the element of surprise that will win him back. 1482 01:22:18,167 --> 01:22:19,967 Yeah, and what if we don't make it there in time? 1483 01:22:19,969 --> 01:22:22,136 Trust me on this one. I know how it's done. 1484 01:22:22,138 --> 01:22:24,538 You always get the guy in the end. 1485 01:22:28,311 --> 01:22:32,346 Calling doesn't seem like such a bad idea now, does it? 1486 01:22:32,348 --> 01:22:34,949 It always works in the movies. 1487 01:22:38,154 --> 01:22:40,354 So what now? 1488 01:22:40,356 --> 01:22:42,256 I don't know. 1489 01:22:42,258 --> 01:22:45,192 It usually doesn't turn out this way. 1490 01:22:46,662 --> 01:22:49,263 I'm too late, aren't I? 1491 01:22:52,468 --> 01:22:54,435 Might as well head back. 1492 01:22:54,437 --> 01:22:58,439 I know you have plans with Diane. 1493 01:22:58,441 --> 01:23:00,240 Let me call her and let her know I'll be a little late. 1494 01:23:00,242 --> 01:23:02,176 I'll be in the car. 1495 01:23:10,720 --> 01:23:15,589 (PHONE BUZZING) 1496 01:23:15,591 --> 01:23:17,591 This better not be an, "I can't make it today" call. 1497 01:23:17,593 --> 01:23:19,526 No, no, I'll be there. 1498 01:23:19,528 --> 01:23:22,463 Small emergency. I'll just be a little late. 1499 01:23:22,465 --> 01:23:25,232 Well hurry, so you can start making it up to me. 1500 01:23:25,234 --> 01:23:27,234 And don't forget your uniform - 1501 01:23:27,236 --> 01:23:29,069 especially the night stick. 1502 01:23:29,071 --> 01:23:30,137 Bye. 1503 01:23:38,681 --> 01:23:41,115 Richard's going to be a little bit late. 1504 01:23:41,117 --> 01:23:43,384 Keep me company for just a bit more? 1505 01:23:43,386 --> 01:23:46,587 I've got three thousand miles ahead of me and now all I'm going to be able to think about 1506 01:23:46,589 --> 01:23:48,389 is you and Richard playing "cops and robbers". 1507 01:23:48,391 --> 01:23:51,158 You should see me trying to resist arrest. 1508 01:23:51,160 --> 01:23:52,626 I really need to go. 1509 01:23:52,628 --> 01:23:55,396 I just wanted to help you clean up and say goodbye. 1510 01:23:55,398 --> 01:23:57,765 Let's have a mimosa for the road. 1511 01:23:57,767 --> 01:24:01,668 No one should drive into the middle of this country without at least one drink in them. 1512 01:24:01,670 --> 01:24:04,738 -You're awful. -I know. 1513 01:24:16,052 --> 01:24:18,685 Are you sure you don't want to join us for brunch? 1514 01:24:18,687 --> 01:24:22,056 You know a gay guy is tired when he turns down brunch. 1515 01:24:22,058 --> 01:24:25,826 I had a bad night and a crappy morning. 1516 01:24:25,828 --> 01:24:27,812 Bottomless drinks. 1517 01:24:27,813 --> 01:24:29,797 I have a feeling you'll get your money's worth today. 1518 01:24:29,799 --> 01:24:33,200 I really don't feel like being around people. 1519 01:24:33,202 --> 01:24:36,270 Especially those in love. 1520 01:24:38,307 --> 01:24:40,274 Where the hell have you two been? 1521 01:24:40,276 --> 01:24:42,276 And you brought the squad car. 1522 01:24:42,278 --> 01:24:44,344 Nice touch. 1523 01:24:46,282 --> 01:24:48,482 We drove to Nevada this morning. 1524 01:24:48,484 --> 01:24:49,650 We're trying to catch up with Myles. 1525 01:24:49,652 --> 01:24:51,318 Nevada? 1526 01:24:51,320 --> 01:24:53,420 Why are you trying to catch up with Myles? 1527 01:24:53,421 --> 01:24:55,521 Brody wants to talk to him. He doesn't want him to leave. 1528 01:24:55,524 --> 01:24:56,857 Well, you just missed him. 1529 01:24:56,859 --> 01:24:59,226 Obviously. 1530 01:24:59,228 --> 01:25:03,197 You and your detective skills. I mean he was just here, he left a minute ago. 1531 01:25:03,199 --> 01:25:05,265 Hey, we can still catch him! 1532 01:25:06,435 --> 01:25:08,669 You can't call him. That's not the way it works. 1533 01:25:08,671 --> 01:25:11,738 I know. I've been trying to tell him that. 1534 01:25:12,808 --> 01:25:15,876 (PHONE BUZZING) 1535 01:25:16,345 --> 01:25:20,814 * 1536 01:25:20,816 --> 01:25:22,883 I just can't. 1537 01:25:24,787 --> 01:25:26,854 Straight to voicemail. 1538 01:25:35,698 --> 01:25:40,434 * 1539 01:25:40,436 --> 01:25:42,569 He's right there. 1540 01:25:48,911 --> 01:25:52,179 Go! Go! 1541 01:25:55,484 --> 01:25:56,884 Are you crazy?! 1542 01:25:56,886 --> 01:25:57,851 Move! 1543 01:25:57,853 --> 01:25:58,719 Are you kidding me?! 1544 01:25:58,721 --> 01:25:59,686 Stop! 1545 01:25:59,688 --> 01:26:02,422 Get out of my way. 1546 01:26:02,424 --> 01:26:04,291 -I need to leave. -Myles. 1547 01:26:04,293 --> 01:26:07,461 No, let me go. Move! 1548 01:26:12,168 --> 01:26:15,235 Why are you all doing this to me? 1549 01:26:16,939 --> 01:26:20,207 There's nothing you can do to make me stay. 1550 01:26:29,185 --> 01:26:31,351 Was that supposed to change my mind? 1551 01:26:31,353 --> 01:26:32,452 That was the idea. 1552 01:26:32,454 --> 01:26:34,788 It didn't. 1553 01:26:34,790 --> 01:26:37,724 I can't do this with you anymore. 1554 01:26:40,229 --> 01:26:45,499 I've got to do what's right for me now, and that's getting away from you. 1555 01:26:45,501 --> 01:26:49,203 You may not need someone, but you deserve someone. 1556 01:26:49,205 --> 01:26:50,938 And I want to be that person. 1557 01:26:50,940 --> 01:26:52,839 You're not capable of having a relationship. 1558 01:26:52,841 --> 01:26:55,542 What have we been doing the last ten years? 1559 01:26:55,544 --> 01:26:59,646 I may not be the Prince Charming that you imagine but, 1560 01:26:59,648 --> 01:27:02,716 you know I would slay a dragon for you. 1561 01:27:03,252 --> 01:27:05,519 It's not enough, Brody. 1562 01:27:05,521 --> 01:27:07,454 What else is there? 1563 01:27:08,791 --> 01:27:13,660 Trust, love, companionship, respect. 1564 01:27:13,662 --> 01:27:16,730 We don't have all those things? 1565 01:27:22,638 --> 01:27:24,972 Well then, I'll guess I'll have to make this easy for you. 1566 01:27:24,974 --> 01:27:26,440 Cause you don't have a choice. 1567 01:27:26,442 --> 01:27:29,576 I'm sorry, what? 1568 01:27:29,578 --> 01:27:31,695 I'm glad you're here because I need a lawyer. 1569 01:27:31,696 --> 01:27:33,813 Would you please tell me if this is still legally binding? 1570 01:27:33,816 --> 01:27:35,882 I charge seven-hundred dollars an hour. 1571 01:27:38,020 --> 01:27:39,953 Fine, I'll do it pro-bono. 1572 01:27:39,955 --> 01:27:41,888 Let me see it. 1573 01:27:44,727 --> 01:27:46,560 I'm sorry, it's not legally binding. 1574 01:27:46,562 --> 01:27:49,930 It states that this becomes effective on Myles' birthday. 1575 01:27:49,932 --> 01:27:53,533 Unfortunately, that's not until tomorrow. 1576 01:27:54,036 --> 01:27:56,737 I guess we'll just have to wait twelve hours. 1577 01:27:56,739 --> 01:27:59,973 We can put him under house arrest until the contract is due. 1578 01:27:59,975 --> 01:28:02,376 I can leave this perp in your custody. 1579 01:28:02,378 --> 01:28:04,444 The law is the law. 1580 01:28:05,848 --> 01:28:11,785 I'm so glad that everybody's made the decision about what I should do. 1581 01:28:15,557 --> 01:28:17,658 Does anybody want to know what I think? 1582 01:28:17,660 --> 01:28:21,795 Yes, of course. 1583 01:28:21,797 --> 01:28:24,865 I think after waiting ten years, 1584 01:28:24,867 --> 01:28:27,934 I deserve a proper kiss. 1585 01:28:29,038 --> 01:28:35,309 * 1586 01:28:49,458 --> 01:28:52,526 (FACETIME RINGING) 1587 01:28:55,597 --> 01:28:57,464 You're calling me why? 1588 01:28:57,466 --> 01:29:00,701 Well, I always call you after I hook up with a hot guy. 1589 01:29:00,703 --> 01:29:02,436 How was it? 1590 01:29:02,438 --> 01:29:05,605 Let me put it like this: I'm gonna have to call you back, 1591 01:29:05,607 --> 01:29:07,741 cause I'm about to do it again. 1592 01:29:07,743 --> 01:29:09,943 It was that good? 1593 01:29:09,945 --> 01:29:11,511 Oh yeah. 1594 01:29:11,513 --> 01:29:13,547 And by the way, 1595 01:29:13,549 --> 01:29:15,449 Happy Birthday Myles. 1596 01:29:15,451 --> 01:29:17,851 It certainly is. 1597 01:29:17,853 --> 01:29:23,890 * 1598 01:29:44,646 --> 01:29:50,717 * 1599 01:29:51,305 --> 01:29:57,381 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org115536

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