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1
00:00:03,742 --> 00:00:04,134
.
2
00:00:04,178 --> 00:00:06,136
[dramatic music]
3
00:00:06,180 --> 00:00:07,268
- Clear in back.
- Copy.
4
00:00:07,311 --> 00:00:08,834
- All clear on the main hall.
5
00:00:08,878 --> 00:00:10,401
- Clear.
- Clear.
6
00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:14,449
- The service road a quarter
mile away is also clear.
7
00:00:14,492 --> 00:00:17,017
Hold on.
There's a pigeon approaching.
8
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:19,062
Hold the mission.
9
00:00:19,106 --> 00:00:20,107
Shoo.
10
00:00:20,150 --> 00:00:22,544
Shoo. Shoo.
11
00:00:22,587 --> 00:00:23,675
Shoo.
12
00:00:23,719 --> 00:00:25,764
- Great work with that pidge,
officer.
13
00:00:25,808 --> 00:00:28,506
- Detectives, switch to channel
five.
14
00:00:28,550 --> 00:00:30,204
Anyone else getting
a sense Holt is upset
15
00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:31,727
about the new captain coming
tomorrow?
16
00:00:31,770 --> 00:00:33,729
- It's bad. This morning
he sighed for the entire length
17
00:00:33,772 --> 00:00:34,686
of our elevator ride.
18
00:00:34,730 --> 00:00:37,689
- [sighing]
19
00:00:39,952 --> 00:00:43,304
- I wonder who Wuntch is gonna
stick us with this time.
20
00:00:43,347 --> 00:00:44,696
Clear.
- Clear.
21
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:45,871
- I'm sure it will be
someone terrible,
22
00:00:45,915 --> 00:00:47,134
but we've had bad bosses
before,
23
00:00:47,177 --> 00:00:48,483
and we've always managed to get
rid of them.
24
00:00:48,526 --> 00:00:49,701
Let's just do that again.
- Hey, listen.
25
00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:51,312
I'm taking this weekend off.
26
00:00:51,355 --> 00:00:52,443
Do you think you can have the
new captain gone by Monday?
27
00:00:52,487 --> 00:00:53,575
I'm kind of over meeting new
people.
28
00:00:53,618 --> 00:00:55,620
- Gone by Monday.
Challenge accepted.
29
00:00:56,795 --> 00:00:58,449
Clear.
- Clear.
30
00:01:05,152 --> 00:01:06,196
We got a runner.
31
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,024
- NYPD, freeze!
32
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,113
- Ugh!
33
00:01:10,157 --> 00:01:13,116
- Taking down the bad guys
without breaking up our convo.
34
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:14,552
That how we do it in the
Nine-Nine.
35
00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:16,250
- You're going the wrong
direction.
36
00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:17,555
- Damn it. All these hallways
look the same.
37
00:01:17,599 --> 00:01:18,948
That was such a cool walk-off.
38
00:01:18,991 --> 00:01:21,951
[upbeat music]
39
00:01:21,994 --> 00:01:29,089
♪
40
00:01:39,011 --> 00:01:41,971
[rock music]
41
00:01:42,014 --> 00:01:44,495
♪
42
00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:46,541
- 'Sup?
- What is happening?
43
00:01:46,584 --> 00:01:48,064
- Well, with the new
captain coming in,
44
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,413
this is my chance to
reinvent myself.
45
00:01:49,457 --> 00:01:52,677
So say hello to Chuck Boyle,
office badass.
46
00:01:52,721 --> 00:01:54,375
- Wait a minute.
Is that Rosa's jacket?
47
00:01:54,418 --> 00:01:55,593
And follow-up question,
48
00:01:55,637 --> 00:01:57,334
does Rosa's jacket fit you
perfectly?
49
00:01:57,378 --> 00:01:58,596
- [scoffs]
You tell me.
50
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,381
- You know, just put on a
leather jacket
51
00:02:00,424 --> 00:02:01,860
and become a badass.
52
00:02:01,904 --> 00:02:03,732
You also need a chunky bracelet
with fringe.
53
00:02:03,775 --> 00:02:05,647
- Wrong. Ever since
Rosa gave me this baby,
54
00:02:05,690 --> 00:02:07,388
people have been treating me
like I'm cool.
55
00:02:07,431 --> 00:02:08,519
The girl at the coffee shop
56
00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:09,781
even got the name
on my cup right.
57
00:02:09,825 --> 00:02:11,740
It says "Charles,"
not "Cassie."
58
00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:13,481
- You know, I think it's less
about the jacket
59
00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:15,004
and more about the fact
that you're feeling confident.
60
00:02:15,047 --> 00:02:16,266
Maybe this cool version of
Charles
61
00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:17,789
was in there all along.
62
00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:19,313
- Amy, I love you, but
that's insane.
63
00:02:19,356 --> 00:02:20,444
It's a magic jacket.
64
00:02:20,488 --> 00:02:21,402
- Okay.
- So just to be clear,
65
00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:22,881
you think we're dealing with
66
00:02:22,925 --> 00:02:24,405
a "Sisterhood of the Traveling
Pants" situation here?
67
00:02:24,448 --> 00:02:26,233
- Don't know, not familiar.
68
00:02:26,276 --> 00:02:27,625
- You made me watch it.
69
00:02:27,669 --> 00:02:29,061
Look, there's no point in
rebranding yourself
70
00:02:29,105 --> 00:02:31,455
for the new captain--or should
I say "craptain"--
71
00:02:31,499 --> 00:02:32,500
because they're not gonna
be here
72
00:02:32,543 --> 00:02:34,110
for very long anyways,
remember?
73
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,285
- Peralta, stop it. I don't
want to hear you bad-mouthing
74
00:02:35,329 --> 00:02:36,765
my replacement around
the office.
75
00:02:36,808 --> 00:02:37,853
Do it surreptitiously.
76
00:02:37,896 --> 00:02:39,289
Watch this.
77
00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:41,639
I hear that new captain's a
pill-popper.
78
00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:43,467
- They're on their way up.
- Everyone hide your pills.
79
00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:44,903
- Brace yourselves.
80
00:02:44,947 --> 00:02:47,341
You're about to look into the
face of pure evil.
81
00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:49,299
[elevator dings]
82
00:02:49,343 --> 00:02:51,214
- Ah, good morning, good
morning, good morning.
83
00:02:51,258 --> 00:02:52,650
I'm Captain Julie Kim.
84
00:02:52,694 --> 00:02:53,999
- And I'm Chuck.
85
00:02:54,043 --> 00:02:57,046
If you want results, stay
the hell out of my way.
86
00:02:57,089 --> 00:03:00,441
- Okay, wow, I guess I
know who the office badass is.
87
00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:01,920
Anyway, I just want to say
88
00:03:01,964 --> 00:03:03,661
how excited am to be here at
the Nine-Nine.
89
00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:05,446
I hear the best things
about this place.
90
00:03:05,489 --> 00:03:07,883
From who?
Madeline Wuntch, per chance?
91
00:03:07,926 --> 00:03:10,102
Oh, I've never actually spoken
to Acting Commissioner Wuntch.
92
00:03:10,146 --> 00:03:12,496
I requested the posting through
the C.O.P's office.
93
00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:14,977
I didn't prepare a speech,
but a little about me:
94
00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:17,284
I was the first female
Asian-American captain
95
00:03:17,327 --> 00:03:18,502
in the NYPD.
96
00:03:18,546 --> 00:03:20,200
My guilty pleasure is charity
work.
97
00:03:20,243 --> 00:03:21,549
And what do I do for fun?
98
00:03:21,592 --> 00:03:23,507
Well, basically just
design and build skate parks
99
00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:25,248
for marginalized communities;
and that's me.
100
00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:27,076
- What a gigantic turd.
101
00:03:27,119 --> 00:03:29,557
- Agreed, an unformed pile.
102
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,515
- I don't know; she seemed kind
of awesome to me.
103
00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:32,516
- The thing is,
she can't be awesome
104
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,126
'cause she's here to replace
Holt.
105
00:03:34,170 --> 00:03:35,693
- But she said as soon as his
year in uniform is finished
106
00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:37,129
she's moving on.
107
00:03:37,173 --> 00:03:39,131
- [scoffs] That's a pretty
generous interpretation
108
00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:40,350
of what she said, Amy.
109
00:03:40,394 --> 00:03:42,178
- As soon as his year in
uniform is finished,
110
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,484
I'll be moving on.
111
00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:44,485
- Okay, fine.
It's exactly what she said.
112
00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:45,660
But she seems like a liar.
113
00:03:45,703 --> 00:03:47,139
Someone told me she's
a pill-popper.
114
00:03:47,183 --> 00:03:48,358
- Pop-pop.
115
00:03:48,402 --> 00:03:49,359
- Well, she's not lying
about her résumé.
116
00:03:49,403 --> 00:03:50,708
Did you know The Rock's
character
117
00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:53,233
in "The Fast and the Furious"
was based on her?
118
00:03:53,276 --> 00:03:55,060
Hobbs. Or Shaw.
119
00:03:55,104 --> 00:03:56,453
- She's not a Hobbs or a Shaw.
120
00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:57,933
If anything she's a Trevor.
121
00:03:57,976 --> 00:04:00,370
That the guy my mom dated after
she divorced my dad.
122
00:04:00,414 --> 00:04:01,632
- So this is all about
your daddy issues?
123
00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:03,112
- Step-daddy issues.
This is a new thing.
124
00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:04,461
I'm complicated.
125
00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:06,507
Anyways, Trevor seemed perfect
too, you know?
126
00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:08,378
He was nice to my mom, he drove
a limousine,
127
00:04:08,422 --> 00:04:09,553
he would take us out to
restaurants.
128
00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:11,251
But then my mom caught him
cheating,
129
00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:12,948
and we never saw him again.
130
00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:14,906
So it turns out when people are
too good to be true, they are.
131
00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:16,081
- That sucks, Jake,
132
00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:17,909
but I don't think
Captain Kim is a Trevor.
133
00:04:17,953 --> 00:04:19,998
Oh really? She could have had
her choice of any precinct.
134
00:04:20,042 --> 00:04:22,349
Why would she choose this lame
temporary posting here?
135
00:04:22,392 --> 00:04:23,567
I'll tell you why.
136
00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:25,526
Because Madeline Wuntch
sent her.
137
00:04:25,569 --> 00:04:27,136
- So what do we do?
- I'm glad you asked.
138
00:04:27,179 --> 00:04:29,269
You know how she wants to have
individual meetings with us
139
00:04:29,312 --> 00:04:31,183
to assess our
"personal strengths"
140
00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:32,228
and help us "achieve our
goals?"
141
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,577
Stupid B.
142
00:04:33,621 --> 00:04:35,013
- I say we use those meetings
to figure out why
143
00:04:35,057 --> 00:04:36,014
she's really here.
144
00:04:36,058 --> 00:04:37,015
She may seem perfect,
145
00:04:37,059 --> 00:04:38,887
but I guarantee there's a
"but."
146
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:41,368
And I'm gonna find that "but
and drill down on it.
147
00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:42,673
- Come on, man. You have
to know how that sounds.
148
00:04:42,717 --> 00:04:45,154
- Shut up, cool Charles.
I hate this new dynamic.
149
00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:46,938
- Lieutenant, thanks for
coming in.
150
00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:48,418
First off, do you have any
questions for me?
151
00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:50,420
- Just one. Why would
someone with your pedigree
152
00:04:50,464 --> 00:04:51,726
choose the Nine-Nine?
153
00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:53,380
- Well, why did
you choose to stay here
154
00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:54,424
as long as you have?
155
00:04:54,468 --> 00:04:57,209
- This is my family--
second family.
156
00:04:57,253 --> 00:04:58,428
I have a wife and three
kids at home.
157
00:04:58,472 --> 00:04:59,951
- Oh, please tell me you have
pictures.
158
00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:03,477
- I may8 have one or two...
hard drives at my desk.
159
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,914
Let me grab them real fast,
okay?
160
00:05:05,957 --> 00:05:08,351
- So, Captain Kim, I've been
going through your files--
161
00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:10,135
- And I've been going
through yours,
162
00:05:10,179 --> 00:05:11,833
very impressive stuff.
163
00:05:11,876 --> 00:05:13,313
- Oh.
- Not just the case work,
164
00:05:13,356 --> 00:05:14,314
but look at how they're
organized,
165
00:05:14,357 --> 00:05:15,793
the penmanship,
color coding.
166
00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:17,447
How do you get such straight
margins
167
00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:18,883
on a hand-written document?
168
00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:20,972
- Oh, well, I like to say
when it comes to margins...
169
00:05:21,016 --> 00:05:22,974
both: There's no margin for
error.
170
00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:24,019
- [gasps]
171
00:05:24,062 --> 00:05:26,369
both: Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
172
00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:28,371
- So you supposedly build
skate parks, huh?
173
00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:29,981
What are your three
favorite tricks?
174
00:05:30,025 --> 00:05:33,158
- Oh, gingersnap, plasma spin,
roast beef grab.
175
00:05:33,202 --> 00:05:34,508
What about you?
176
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:36,640
- Ollies. And the roast beef
one that you said.
177
00:05:36,684 --> 00:05:37,772
It doesn't matter.
We're both skaters.
178
00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:39,251
Let's move on.
- Well, I went over your
179
00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:40,470
recent evaluations,
180
00:05:40,514 --> 00:05:42,690
and I don't think you belong
here.
181
00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:45,345
- Oh, I knew it.
You want to get rid of me.
182
00:05:45,388 --> 00:05:46,563
Well, you know what?
You can't fire me,
183
00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:48,522
because I quit--
metaphorically.
184
00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:50,045
Obviously, for medical
insurance reasons,
185
00:05:50,088 --> 00:05:51,568
it's actually much better if
do you fire me.
186
00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:54,354
- I'm not firing you.
I'm impressed by your talent
187
00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:55,877
and record,
and it just so happens
188
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,531
have a friend in the FBI who is
looking for
189
00:05:57,574 --> 00:06:00,098
an NYPD liaison officer.
190
00:06:00,142 --> 00:06:01,665
So what do you say?
191
00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:03,014
- So what did you say?
192
00:06:03,058 --> 00:06:05,016
- I told her I'd rather stick
my entire head
193
00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:06,975
inside a giraffe's long blonde
butt
194
00:06:07,018 --> 00:06:08,498
than accept a job offer from
her.
195
00:06:08,542 --> 00:06:09,934
- Mm-hmm.
- You said that?
196
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:11,153
- In my head.
197
00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:12,197
In my mouth I said I would
think about it
198
00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:13,460
and get back to her.
199
00:06:13,503 --> 00:06:15,113
She'll get the message
when I dillydally.
200
00:06:15,157 --> 00:06:17,725
- Working with the FBI.
That's your dream job, Jake.
201
00:06:17,768 --> 00:06:19,683
- First of all, my dream job is
spy
202
00:06:19,727 --> 00:06:21,511
falsely accused of betraying
his country,
203
00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:23,121
forced to work alone
to clear his name
204
00:06:23,165 --> 00:06:25,210
by taking down the mysterious
organization that framed him
205
00:06:25,254 --> 00:06:26,386
known only as S.H.A.D.E.
206
00:06:26,429 --> 00:06:28,257
Secondly,
it wasn't a real job offer.
207
00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:29,693
She's up to something.
- Mm-hmm.
208
00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:31,391
- Maybe she's just a nice
person.
209
00:06:31,434 --> 00:06:33,915
I mean, she did seem genuinely
interested in my kids.
210
00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:35,699
- Look, did any of you get a
straight answer from her
211
00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:37,397
about why she's at the
Nine-Nine, hmm?
212
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:39,224
Right, me neither.
But guess what.
213
00:06:39,268 --> 00:06:40,748
I called the C.O.P. office,
214
00:06:40,791 --> 00:06:42,532
and they said the form
to transfer her here
215
00:06:42,576 --> 00:06:43,577
wasn't signed by them.
216
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:45,535
It was signed by Wuntch.
217
00:06:45,579 --> 00:06:47,624
She lied.
- Mm-hmm.
218
00:06:47,668 --> 00:06:48,712
- Just because Wuntch
signed an order
219
00:06:48,756 --> 00:06:49,670
doesn't mean they
know each other.
220
00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:51,236
- Will you wake up?
221
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,413
That woman is a demon, and it
couldn't be more obvious.
222
00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:54,718
- Oh, here you are.
223
00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:56,981
I have to say how great it
was talking to you all,
224
00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:58,548
and I wanted to let you know
about a party I'm throwing
225
00:06:58,592 --> 00:06:59,549
at my house tomorrow night.
226
00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:01,116
Are you interested?
227
00:07:01,159 --> 00:07:03,248
- Oh, well, we will think about
it and get back to you.
228
00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:04,467
- Great. Just let me know.
229
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:05,947
- Great.
230
00:07:07,165 --> 00:07:10,255
And now we dillydally.
231
00:07:10,299 --> 00:07:11,735
- Mm-hmm.
232
00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:15,652
.
233
00:07:15,696 --> 00:07:17,698
- What are you guys doing
here?
234
00:07:17,741 --> 00:07:18,655
- What do you mean?
We're going to the party.
235
00:07:18,699 --> 00:07:19,787
- You said you weren't coming.
236
00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:21,136
You said that Captain Kim was
a Trevor
237
00:07:21,179 --> 00:07:22,311
and that she only invited us to
earn our trust
238
00:07:22,354 --> 00:07:24,052
so she could have sex with our
mom.
239
00:07:24,095 --> 00:07:25,140
- It was very confusing.
240
00:07:25,183 --> 00:07:26,924
- [laughs]
I never said that.
241
00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:28,491
But it's not confusing.
242
00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:30,014
I mean, our "mom" is
obviously the precinct,
243
00:07:30,058 --> 00:07:31,668
and Captain Kim having sex with
the precinct
244
00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:34,192
is actually her teaming up with
Madeline Wuntch to destroy it.
245
00:07:34,236 --> 00:07:35,846
It's a perfect analogy,
Which I never used.
246
00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:37,369
- What's up, guys?
247
00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:39,067
Why are we standing around
outside?
248
00:07:39,110 --> 00:07:41,199
- Is your walk different?
Are you strutting?
249
00:07:41,243 --> 00:07:42,200
- Don't know what you're
talking about.
250
00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:43,463
It's how I always walk, bitch.
251
00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:44,899
Let's roll.
252
00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:46,204
- Bitch?
253
00:07:46,248 --> 00:07:47,858
- Welcome.
The bar is in the back.
254
00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:49,338
And they're coming around with
food.
255
00:07:49,381 --> 00:07:51,296
I use the most wonderful
catering company.
256
00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:53,603
They only hire ex-convicts to
give them a second chance.
257
00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:55,039
- Oh, that's wonderful.
258
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:56,258
- Get in here and meet
everyone.
259
00:07:56,301 --> 00:07:57,694
Oh, Lieutenant, I want to
introduce you
260
00:07:57,738 --> 00:07:59,087
to my old neighbor, John.
261
00:07:59,130 --> 00:07:59,957
He's the head of admissions at
the Calder Academy
262
00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:01,568
in the Bronx.
263
00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:03,265
- Calder? That's the best
elementary school in the city.
264
00:08:03,308 --> 00:08:05,485
Their mock trial team gets
hired to work real cases.
265
00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:07,399
- And, Chuck, my friend from
"Major Crimes" is here.
266
00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:09,663
You're gonna love him.
- Maybe I will; maybe I won't.
267
00:08:09,706 --> 00:08:11,316
- Well, come on. Let's go.
268
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:12,840
Oh, let me talk you coat.
- No, I need it.
269
00:08:12,883 --> 00:08:14,581
- Oh, this way.
270
00:08:14,624 --> 00:08:16,365
- All right, I know what's
going on here.
271
00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:17,932
You two still don't trust
Captain Kim,
272
00:08:17,975 --> 00:08:19,150
and you're here to snoop on
her.
273
00:08:19,194 --> 00:08:20,151
- I don't know what you're
talking about.
274
00:08:20,195 --> 00:08:21,718
- Please.
Look at your shoes.
275
00:08:21,762 --> 00:08:24,068
You only wear sneakers for
their literal purpose:
276
00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:25,374
sneaking.
277
00:08:25,417 --> 00:08:27,202
- That's crazy. He's wearing
perfectly normal--
278
00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:28,986
- No, she's right.
279
00:08:29,030 --> 00:08:30,205
The clown shoes gave me away.
280
00:08:30,248 --> 00:08:32,337
- Okay, look, Captain Kim lied
to us.
281
00:08:32,381 --> 00:08:34,296
There's something in this house
that proves she's conspiring
282
00:08:34,339 --> 00:08:36,298
with Madeline Wuntch,
and we're gonna find it.
283
00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,909
- [sighs] I am not letting you
snoop around in her stuff
284
00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:40,171
and ruin this party.
285
00:08:40,215 --> 00:08:42,086
- Oh, okay. Well, good luck
trying to stop us.
286
00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:44,306
- Oh, Jake.
287
00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:45,829
You don't know who you're
dealing with, do you?
288
00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:47,004
I was a student chaperone
289
00:08:47,048 --> 00:08:49,659
at every dance from middle
school on.
290
00:08:49,703 --> 00:08:51,618
I've stopped more horny
teenagers from making out
291
00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:53,445
to Savage Garden than you can
count.
292
00:08:53,489 --> 00:08:55,752
- Cool story, but we're not
horny teens.
293
00:08:55,796 --> 00:08:57,101
We're horny adults.
294
00:08:57,145 --> 00:08:59,277
And tonight we're going all the
way.
295
00:08:59,321 --> 00:09:01,279
Come on, Holt, let's shake this
narc.
296
00:09:01,323 --> 00:09:02,716
- That's right, I am a NARC,
297
00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:05,283
a Nationally Accredited and
Registered Chaperone.
298
00:09:05,327 --> 00:09:06,763
- So what grade are
your daughters in?
299
00:09:06,807 --> 00:09:08,635
They're in sixth grade.
300
00:09:08,678 --> 00:09:12,552
Oh, wait, I'm sorry,
that's their reading level.
301
00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:13,596
They're in second.
302
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,511
- Wow.
They sound quite impressive.
303
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:18,732
- Oh good, the food.
I'm starving.
304
00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:19,950
- Hello, Detective Jeffords.
305
00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:21,125
- Do I know you?
306
00:09:21,169 --> 00:09:22,736
- Ronald Palmer.
307
00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:24,781
You arrested me ten years ago.
308
00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:25,782
You testified at my trial.
309
00:09:25,826 --> 00:09:27,741
- Oh, hey.
310
00:09:27,784 --> 00:09:28,959
What have you been up to?
311
00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:30,004
- Prison.
- Prison, yeah.
312
00:09:30,047 --> 00:09:31,440
I shouldn't have asked.
313
00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:34,225
- I spent ten long years
thinking about what I would do
314
00:09:34,269 --> 00:09:36,793
if I ever saw you again.
315
00:09:36,837 --> 00:09:37,794
Lettuce cup?
316
00:09:37,838 --> 00:09:40,580
- Uh...
317
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:43,147
- Oh, do you think I'm trying
to poison you?
318
00:09:43,191 --> 00:09:45,846
Am I always gonna be a criminal
in your eyes
319
00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:47,543
even though I've served my
time?
320
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,936
- No, no, no.
321
00:09:48,979 --> 00:09:50,328
I'm just not hungry right now.
322
00:09:50,372 --> 00:09:51,808
- Oh, you said you were
starving.
323
00:09:51,852 --> 00:09:54,332
- Yes, John.
Thanks for reminding me, John.
324
00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:56,639
- All right here we go,
approaching the mail.
325
00:09:56,683 --> 00:10:00,600
Stay cool, and...doink.
326
00:10:00,643 --> 00:10:01,731
Now we've just got to find
a private place
327
00:10:01,775 --> 00:10:02,732
to look at these.
328
00:10:02,776 --> 00:10:05,343
- Through here to the guest
bath.
329
00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:06,649
- Ahh!
- Seriously?
330
00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:08,129
The bathroom sneak-off?
331
00:10:08,172 --> 00:10:10,174
It didn't work for Dana McAlpin
trying to smoke a joint
332
00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:11,523
at the Winter Carnival Dance,
333
00:10:11,567 --> 00:10:13,090
and it's not gonna work for
you.
334
00:10:13,134 --> 00:10:16,180
Gimme the mail.
335
00:10:16,224 --> 00:10:21,185
You just chaperoned,
O-W-N-E-D.
336
00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:23,535
- Spelling is never cool.
337
00:10:23,579 --> 00:10:25,625
- Wrong, that was extremely
cool.
338
00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:27,801
Now I understand why you're
"into her."
339
00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:31,500
- Now you understand?
You officiated our wedding.
340
00:10:31,543 --> 00:10:32,632
Whatever.
We need to figure out a way
341
00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:33,589
to get her off our tail.
342
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,504
- Good luck with that.
- Ahh!
343
00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:36,679
- What are you two doing
over here,
344
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,028
waiting for the caterers
345
00:10:38,072 --> 00:10:39,551
before they make their way into
the crowd?
346
00:10:39,595 --> 00:10:41,945
- We're snooping on Captain
Kim, but let me guess.
347
00:10:41,989 --> 00:10:43,251
She seduced you as well.
348
00:10:43,294 --> 00:10:45,383
- Is she doing that to people?
- Not literally.
349
00:10:45,427 --> 00:10:47,472
- Oh, Michael, Norm, I didn't
realize you arrived.
350
00:10:47,516 --> 00:10:49,910
Come with me,
I want to make an introduction.
351
00:10:49,953 --> 00:10:51,346
- Don't worry, Jake.
352
00:10:51,389 --> 00:10:53,087
You're our friend;
we're on your side no matter--
353
00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:55,045
holy crap.
354
00:10:55,089 --> 00:10:56,568
Look at those chairs.
355
00:10:56,612 --> 00:10:57,831
- I know you two like to sit,
356
00:10:57,874 --> 00:10:59,746
and these are the most
comfortable chairs ever.
357
00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:01,225
Give 'em a try.
358
00:11:01,269 --> 00:11:02,836
both: Ohh.
359
00:11:02,879 --> 00:11:04,272
- It's like there's something
great at this party
360
00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:05,795
for everyone, even me.
361
00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:08,798
She's serving my favorite
dessert: carrots.
362
00:11:08,842 --> 00:11:10,017
- Wait a minute. That's it.
363
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:11,671
If there's something
great for everyone,
364
00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:14,238
there's something great for the
narc.
365
00:11:14,282 --> 00:11:16,719
Babe, hi. How are you
enjoying the party?
366
00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:18,982
- Trying to chat me up?
It won't work.
367
00:11:19,026 --> 00:11:20,897
Chaperone's code forbids
fraternization
368
00:11:20,941 --> 00:11:22,246
with chaperonees.
369
00:11:22,290 --> 00:11:23,726
- Okay, fine, I'll just leave
you alone, then.
370
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:25,162
I really quickly did want to
introduce you
371
00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:26,337
to someone, though.
372
00:11:26,381 --> 00:11:27,556
This is Margo.
373
00:11:27,599 --> 00:11:28,905
She's a friend of Captain
Kim's.
374
00:11:28,949 --> 00:11:30,777
And apparently she invented a
new type of binder.
375
00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:31,908
- What?
376
00:11:31,952 --> 00:11:33,257
- "New type of binder"
seems reductive.
377
00:11:33,301 --> 00:11:34,911
Would you call a car
a new kind of horse?
378
00:11:34,955 --> 00:11:36,086
- No.
- This is the future
379
00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:37,261
of organization.
380
00:11:37,305 --> 00:11:38,610
- Oh, my God.
Tell me everything.
381
00:11:38,654 --> 00:11:40,612
- And you've been
chaper-powned.
382
00:11:40,656 --> 00:11:42,484
- What?
- Nothing. Love you. Binders.
383
00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:45,095
- So Cap tells me you're
in "Major Crimes."
384
00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:49,099
- Yeah, working something big.
385
00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:50,622
Can't tell you who our target
is,
386
00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:53,190
but let's just say he's done a
bunch of disturbing things,
387
00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:54,235
and he's on the Yankees.
388
00:11:54,278 --> 00:11:56,237
- [whistles]
389
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:57,542
- You play poker?
390
00:11:57,586 --> 00:12:00,110
- Eh, used to, got tired
of winning all the time.
391
00:12:00,154 --> 00:12:01,938
- [chuckles] Well, I have a
weekly game.
392
00:12:01,982 --> 00:12:04,898
It's mostly Broadway stars
and celebrity chefs,
393
00:12:04,941 --> 00:12:08,423
not exactly my crowd, but
they are high rollers.
394
00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:09,946
Spot opened up; you want in?
395
00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:13,776
- I don't know, seems kind of
lame, but I'll stop by.
396
00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:15,691
- [clicks tongue]
397
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:16,866
- Excuse me.
398
00:12:16,910 --> 00:12:17,954
I know you from somewhere.
399
00:12:17,998 --> 00:12:18,999
Do you go to my gym?
400
00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:21,349
- Oh, nah. I work out in
my garage,
401
00:12:21,392 --> 00:12:23,003
throw the tire around,
402
00:12:23,046 --> 00:12:25,179
grab a couple big ropes and
do this.
403
00:12:27,659 --> 00:12:28,878
- Mm-hmm.
404
00:12:28,922 --> 00:12:30,358
Here's my number.
405
00:12:30,401 --> 00:12:32,490
Maybe I could come over some
time and--
406
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:33,796
I don't know--
you could work me out.
407
00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:40,760
- Okay, we've got her meeting
the mayor,
408
00:12:40,803 --> 00:12:43,197
her dog-sitting for Bo Obama,
Malala giving her an award,
409
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:45,025
but no photos of Wuntch.
410
00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:46,635
- That's because vampires
don't appear on film.
411
00:12:46,678 --> 00:12:47,723
Perhaps we should be looking
for
412
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,769
a 17th-century woodblock print.
413
00:12:51,379 --> 00:12:53,511
- Good idea. Let's keep moving.
414
00:12:54,556 --> 00:12:56,036
- Hello?
- She's coming. Hide.
415
00:12:56,079 --> 00:12:57,211
- Title of your sex tape?
416
00:12:57,254 --> 00:13:00,040
In here.
417
00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:02,956
- Hello.
Is anyone up here?
418
00:13:17,361 --> 00:13:20,190
- Well, looks like we just
found the key
419
00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:23,759
to exposing Captain Kim.
420
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,282
- It's the key that's in her
pocket.
421
00:13:25,326 --> 00:13:26,806
- Yes, obviously that's
what I meant.
422
00:13:29,939 --> 00:13:30,157
.
423
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:31,680
- We need to get that key.
424
00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:32,724
How are you at picking pockets?
425
00:13:32,768 --> 00:13:33,856
- Does this answer your
question?
426
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,249
- Whose wallet is that?
- It's mine.
427
00:13:35,292 --> 00:13:37,033
But it came out so smooth
I barely even felt it.
428
00:13:37,077 --> 00:13:38,513
All right, fine, I'm terrible
at pickpocketing.
429
00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:40,471
But if she was distracted,
I bet I could pull it off.
430
00:13:40,515 --> 00:13:43,083
Maybe you could create a
drunken scene or something?
431
00:13:43,126 --> 00:13:45,172
- Why? What would my
motivation be
432
00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:46,390
for such poor behavior?
433
00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:47,435
- I don't know. Anything.
434
00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:49,741
- No, I need something
to draw from.
435
00:13:49,785 --> 00:13:51,439
Have I had a row with Kevin?
436
00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:52,832
Did something happen to
Cheddar?
437
00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:54,877
Has a new captain
moved into my precinct,
438
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:57,706
usurped my position, and won
the affection and admiration
439
00:13:57,749 --> 00:13:59,447
of people I've spent seven
years
440
00:13:59,490 --> 00:14:00,840
building relationships with,
441
00:14:00,883 --> 00:14:03,755
people I once considered my
chosen family,
442
00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:05,932
whom I foolheartedly hoped
would provide me
443
00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:09,283
the unconditional support that
I never got
444
00:14:09,326 --> 00:14:10,937
from my own flesh and blood?
445
00:14:12,721 --> 00:14:13,896
- I think you should go with
the last one.
446
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:14,897
- Yeah, the last one seemed
good.
447
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:16,072
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
448
00:14:16,116 --> 00:14:17,291
- This is the best
night of my life.
449
00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:18,596
People believe I work out with
ropes,
450
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,250
a mega-babe hit on me,
451
00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:22,426
and the bartender didn't assume
I just wanted a Bay Breeze.
452
00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:23,950
- Hey, you, cool guy.
453
00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:25,908
Were you flirting
with my girlfriend out back?
454
00:14:25,952 --> 00:14:27,910
- Calm down, hotshot.
I'm taken.
455
00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:30,086
Look, I'll throw away her
number.
456
00:14:30,130 --> 00:14:32,436
That's it, you and me outside.
457
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:33,829
- Oh, brother.
458
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,919
Come on, guys.
I've got to go squash this bug.
459
00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:38,312
- Of course, at Calder we're
not just looking
460
00:14:38,355 --> 00:14:39,704
for good students.
461
00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:41,619
We want compassionate members
of the community.
462
00:14:41,663 --> 00:14:45,232
- Great. Terry has a passion
for compassion.
463
00:14:45,275 --> 00:14:47,277
- Turkey pinwheel?
- Oh, you're back again.
464
00:14:47,321 --> 00:14:49,976
You seem to working
this one spot a lot.
465
00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:51,934
- Well, we're old friends,
remember?
466
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:54,589
I'll ask again,
turkey pinwheel?
467
00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:55,633
- Why is there just one?
468
00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:57,461
- I made it special for you.
469
00:14:57,505 --> 00:14:58,636
- How is it special?
470
00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:01,161
- There's a little something
extra in it.
471
00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:03,119
Wait, are you still
suspicious of me?
472
00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:05,034
You don't think I deserve a
second chance?
473
00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:06,427
- Impossible.
474
00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:07,950
Lieutenant Jeffords has a
passion for compassion.
475
00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:09,821
- Yeah, you're right.
476
00:15:09,865 --> 00:15:12,433
You know what?
I will take this pinwheel.
477
00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:15,131
Mmm, delicious.
478
00:15:15,175 --> 00:15:16,437
[chuckling]
479
00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:24,749
- Excuse me, but does it
seem slightly warm to anyone?
480
00:15:24,793 --> 00:15:28,318
I feel it is quite warm.
481
00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:29,537
- What was that?
482
00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:30,842
You were supposed to cause
a drunken scene.
483
00:15:30,886 --> 00:15:32,932
- I was. I raised the
volume of my voice 9%.
484
00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:34,455
as inebriated people do,
485
00:15:34,498 --> 00:15:37,675
and I spoke of the resultant
rise in body temperature.
486
00:15:37,719 --> 00:15:38,894
- Well, you need to do more.
487
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,331
- More than that?
Pfft, okay.
488
00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:43,551
Oh, I love this song.
489
00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:45,205
Oh, I'll have one of those.
490
00:15:45,248 --> 00:15:46,771
- That was more?
491
00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:48,686
- I paired a crab cake with a
cooked Côtes du Rhne,
492
00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:49,731
like an animal.
493
00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:50,775
- Okay, we need a new plan.
494
00:15:50,819 --> 00:15:51,994
- No, no, I have just the
thing.
495
00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:53,256
- It's gonna be too small
again.
496
00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:54,562
You have to really--
497
00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:55,476
- I'm going to throw
myself down the stairs.
498
00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:56,520
- What?
499
00:15:56,564 --> 00:15:58,044
- Ahh! Augh!
500
00:15:58,087 --> 00:15:59,697
Ohh.
501
00:15:59,741 --> 00:16:01,699
- Raymond, are you okay?
502
00:16:01,743 --> 00:16:03,049
Someone call a doctor.
503
00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:05,660
- No need. I'm fine. I'm fine.
504
00:16:05,703 --> 00:16:08,097
- Look, man, I don't want any
trouble.
505
00:16:09,316 --> 00:16:10,578
- She's gonna leave me, isn't
she?
506
00:16:10,621 --> 00:16:11,927
- Oh, you're crying?
507
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,363
- Of course she wants someone
like you.
508
00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:14,712
You're so cool.
509
00:16:14,756 --> 00:16:16,540
- Thank you. It's true.
- What's your secret?
510
00:16:16,584 --> 00:16:18,020
How can I become more like you?
511
00:16:20,762 --> 00:16:23,156
- Here.
This is all you need.
512
00:16:23,199 --> 00:16:24,984
It will change your life.
Trust me.
513
00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:31,033
- Did you just give away
your magic jacket?
514
00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:33,035
- Oh, Terry, it wasn't the
jacket.
515
00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:36,212
I realize now
that Chuck was in here.
516
00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:38,867
I've had another man deep
inside me this whole time.
517
00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:40,956
- Welcome back, Charles.
- Oh, right away?
518
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,871
It was the jacket.
519
00:16:57,059 --> 00:17:00,062
- Now let's see if you do know
Madeline Wuntch.
520
00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:01,759
Gotcha.
[dog growling]
521
00:17:01,803 --> 00:17:04,110
[dog barks]
Oh, boy.
522
00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:05,850
Hey.
523
00:17:05,894 --> 00:17:06,895
Easy.
524
00:17:06,938 --> 00:17:08,462
[dog barks]
525
00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:14,859
[loud clanging]
526
00:17:14,903 --> 00:17:17,471
What happened?
Am I okay?
527
00:17:17,514 --> 00:17:19,560
[people screaming]
528
00:17:19,603 --> 00:17:20,822
Oh, I see what happened.
529
00:17:20,865 --> 00:17:22,780
He went downstairs
and killed everyone else.
530
00:17:22,824 --> 00:17:25,087
Phew.
That worked out.
531
00:17:27,785 --> 00:17:27,959
.
532
00:17:28,003 --> 00:17:30,919
[somber music]
533
00:17:30,962 --> 00:17:37,926
♪
534
00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:47,066
- Terry. Terry.
535
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:48,893
Terry, are you okay?
536
00:17:48,937 --> 00:17:50,895
- I'm fine. But that dog
came right at me.
537
00:17:50,939 --> 00:17:52,375
And I have no idea why.
538
00:17:52,419 --> 00:17:54,203
- It looked like you had a lot
of food in your pockets.
539
00:17:54,247 --> 00:17:57,250
- What? No. That's
not true.
540
00:17:57,293 --> 00:17:58,729
This jacket never had
any pockets.
541
00:17:58,773 --> 00:18:01,167
This is the style.
- Oh, my God.
542
00:18:01,210 --> 00:18:03,386
You did think I was poisoning
you.
543
00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:04,953
- I mean, you were the
one who said he spent
544
00:18:04,996 --> 00:18:07,347
every day in prison dreaming
of the day we'd meet again.
545
00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:09,349
- So I could prove to you
I'd changed.
546
00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:11,220
- You said you put something
extra in my food.
547
00:18:11,264 --> 00:18:12,308
- Love.
548
00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:13,353
- Well, you said it so creepy.
549
00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:15,485
Look, tone is everything, man.
550
00:18:15,529 --> 00:18:17,008
- I've been talking to
a cinder block wall
551
00:18:17,052 --> 00:18:18,662
for the last ten years.
552
00:18:18,706 --> 00:18:21,839
I'm sorry if my social skills
leave something to be desired.
553
00:18:21,883 --> 00:18:23,841
- That is a really good
explanation.
554
00:18:23,885 --> 00:18:25,495
- Everybody, the dog's leashed
up out back.
555
00:18:25,539 --> 00:18:26,714
Did anyone get hurt?
556
00:18:26,757 --> 00:18:28,759
- We're all fine, thanks
to this guy.
557
00:18:28,803 --> 00:18:32,241
Tackling a pit bull without
spilling your whiskey, badass.
558
00:18:32,285 --> 00:18:33,590
- Eh, it was nothing.
559
00:18:33,634 --> 00:18:35,026
His teeth couldn't
even penetrate the jacket.
560
00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:37,942
- Hey, I have a spot opening in
a weekly poker game.
561
00:18:37,986 --> 00:18:39,857
You interested?
- But you said I could come.
562
00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:41,859
- I just think Broadway
star Sutton Foster
563
00:18:41,903 --> 00:18:43,818
is gonna like the other guy
a little bit better.
564
00:18:43,861 --> 00:18:45,385
- No.
565
00:18:45,428 --> 00:18:47,300
- Everybody, I am so, so sorry.
566
00:18:47,343 --> 00:18:49,040
I don't understand how Linus
got out.
567
00:18:49,084 --> 00:18:50,433
I had him locked upstairs
in my bedroom.
568
00:18:50,477 --> 00:18:52,566
I have the key right here.
569
00:18:52,609 --> 00:18:56,483
Wait, where's the key?
570
00:18:56,526 --> 00:18:58,049
- All right, quit joking
around, guys.
571
00:18:58,093 --> 00:18:59,312
Who's got the key?
572
00:18:59,355 --> 00:19:00,878
- You broke into my bedroom?
573
00:19:00,922 --> 00:19:02,228
- Well, this wouldn't have been
a problem if didn't have
574
00:19:02,271 --> 00:19:04,143
a vicious guard dog that's
protecting her secrets.
575
00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:06,667
- Linus is not a guard dog,
and he's not vicious.
576
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:07,885
He was locked in my room,
577
00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:09,191
because she gets skittish
around crowds.
578
00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:11,106
I just rescued him
from a dog-fighting ring.
579
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,107
[together]
Aww.
580
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,152
- Don't aww her, all right.
581
00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:14,631
She's a liar,
and I have proof.
582
00:19:14,675 --> 00:19:16,807
Remember how she said she'
didn't know Madeline Wuntch?
583
00:19:16,851 --> 00:19:18,635
Well, then explain why she has
an email from her
584
00:19:18,679 --> 00:19:20,724
dated two weeks ago, subject:
Raymond Holt.
585
00:19:20,768 --> 00:19:22,378
- Mm-hmm.
586
00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:24,641
- Peralta, why don't you read
that email aloud for everyone?
587
00:19:24,685 --> 00:19:25,816
- Oh, you'd love that,
wouldn't you?
588
00:19:25,860 --> 00:19:26,904
Wait a minute.
Why would you love that?
589
00:19:26,948 --> 00:19:27,775
This is gonna be bad for me,
isn't it?
590
00:19:27,818 --> 00:19:29,211
Amy, you read it.
- No.
591
00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:30,995
- I'll do it, Jakey.
- Oh, the old Charles is back.
592
00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:32,606
- "Julia, we've never
spoken...
593
00:19:32,649 --> 00:19:34,085
- Mm-hmm, four words in, and
it's already pretty bad for me.
594
00:19:34,129 --> 00:19:35,913
- "But your transfer to the
Nine-Nine is a foolish one.
595
00:19:35,957 --> 00:19:37,480
"They are a dysfunctional
precinct commanded by
596
00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:38,829
a rancid old prune, Raymond
Holt.
597
00:19:38,873 --> 00:19:41,180
"But in recognition of your
exemplary service,
598
00:19:41,223 --> 00:19:43,138
I will honor your wishes.
Wuntch."
599
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,314
- But then why are you
at the Nine-Nine?
600
00:19:45,358 --> 00:19:47,316
- I'm here for you.
- Aha!
601
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:48,404
- Because you're my hero.
602
00:19:48,448 --> 00:19:49,797
- Oof. I am off today.
603
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:51,929
- You overcame so
much to become a captain.
604
00:19:51,973 --> 00:19:54,628
It made me feel like I could
accomplish anything.
605
00:19:54,671 --> 00:19:56,282
So when the chance came up
to work with you,
606
00:19:56,325 --> 00:19:57,413
I jumped at it.
607
00:19:57,457 --> 00:19:59,023
- But why not just tell me
that?
608
00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:00,808
- Because you were so down
about being in uniform,
609
00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:02,157
I didn't want it to
come across as pity.
610
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:06,205
- Oh, well, what a sweet
and thoughtful moment,
611
00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:08,685
which would not have been
possible without my meddling.
612
00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:10,078
- How dare you try to
weasel out of this
613
00:20:10,121 --> 00:20:11,427
when the love of my
life is splattered
614
00:20:11,471 --> 00:20:12,385
all over that room.
615
00:20:12,428 --> 00:20:13,560
- The chair?
616
00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:14,735
- Get her name out of your
mouth.
617
00:20:14,778 --> 00:20:16,998
- Her name is the chair?
- I warned you.
618
00:20:17,041 --> 00:20:19,957
- So you think things will be
weird with Captain Kim?
619
00:20:20,001 --> 00:20:21,002
- Nah, she's so perfect.
620
00:20:21,045 --> 00:20:22,525
I'm sure she's already moved
past it,
621
00:20:22,569 --> 00:20:23,744
and we'll have a great year
together.
622
00:20:23,787 --> 00:20:25,702
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
623
00:20:25,746 --> 00:20:27,748
- Captain Kim asked
for an immediate transfer.
624
00:20:27,791 --> 00:20:29,837
She is no longer a part of the
Nine-Nine.
625
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:31,273
- What?
- She said that she respected
626
00:20:31,317 --> 00:20:32,622
you all,
but there was obviously
627
00:20:32,666 --> 00:20:33,928
too much history here
628
00:20:33,971 --> 00:20:35,234
and she'd always feel
like an interloper.
629
00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:36,539
- Oh, man, you guys.
630
00:20:36,583 --> 00:20:38,280
I almost feel like this is all
my fault.
631
00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:39,368
- Agreed.
- What?
632
00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:40,413
You encouraging me.
633
00:20:40,456 --> 00:20:42,066
You kept saying, "Mm-hmm."
634
00:20:42,110 --> 00:20:43,546
- I was going through something
difficult.
635
00:20:43,590 --> 00:20:44,721
You have no excuse.
636
00:20:44,765 --> 00:20:45,896
- He's kind of right,
Jake.
637
00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:47,811
What was going on there?
- I don't know.
638
00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:49,900
I guess I'm just overly
paranoid
639
00:20:49,944 --> 00:20:51,511
from everything that's happened
here, you know,
640
00:20:51,554 --> 00:20:53,513
with Kelly and Wuntch
and Trevor and Rolf.
641
00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:54,905
- Who's Rolf?
- Oh, mom my dated Rolf
642
00:20:54,949 --> 00:20:56,385
after she broke up with Trevor.
643
00:20:56,429 --> 00:20:58,996
He was also a limo driver, and
he also cheated on her.
644
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:01,956
[gasps] The problem is with
limo drivers.
645
00:21:01,999 --> 00:21:03,087
- Babe, it's not.
- It's not?
646
00:21:03,131 --> 00:21:04,175
- No.
- Okay, thanks. I love you.
647
00:21:04,219 --> 00:21:05,612
- Look, man, I get it.
648
00:21:05,655 --> 00:21:07,309
There's no question we've been
burned a bunch as squad.
649
00:21:07,353 --> 00:21:09,790
But you not giving someone the
benefit of the doubt
650
00:21:09,833 --> 00:21:11,226
cost us a good captain.
651
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,750
- I know. You're right.
Look, I'm really sorry.
652
00:21:13,794 --> 00:21:15,274
- But your heart was in the
right place.
653
00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:18,102
- And I had to pay Captain Kim,
like, $3,700 in damages.
654
00:21:18,146 --> 00:21:19,626
- You did what?
- The point is,
655
00:21:19,669 --> 00:21:21,018
everyone accepted my apology,
Amy, right, Charles?
656
00:21:21,062 --> 00:21:22,542
- You betcha, Jakey.
- See?
657
00:21:24,457 --> 00:21:26,546
- Not a doctor.
- Shh.
48512
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