Original subtitles

t.me/@Abolix All done!

All done!

I mail it foryou all the time, what is it?

It's what mum asks me to mail, I don't know.

I always do it foryou. Let me have a kiss.

Not here, too many people are looking!

You promised to marry me, come on!

- What's the matte? Run! - Don't run!!

Stop!

- Hurry! - Don't run!

Stop!

Stop!

Quick, jump!

Run!

Run!

Why kill my fiance?

If he's your fiance, then who am l?

Husband.

Right. Drive!

He's being investigated by the U.S customs.

If I don't kill him, you and l could be in danger.

Don't you want to part with him?

Five Lucky Stars Ghost Encounter

Today's topic is "which school did Confucius belong to?"

Stop today's lecture?

Of course not. Use the brain everyday, otherwise it becomes stupid.

Quickly, say it, which school?

- School of Confucius? - No.

- Thinker! - No.

- Won't be an archaeologist! - Of course not!

No way it's an athlete.

You go to hell! Why play with the words all the time?

Everybody knows Confucius was a famous old man in China!

What?!

- Can't do... - Why not?

You say so.

- Buddha Fruit, I won't be back for supper. - Why?

I've got a date.

That's great.

Buddha Fruit, if Mary, Susie or Lucy calls, you say, I've gone out early.

Ok, say your out, is that it?

No. Tell them I've gone out for dinnerwith Ada.

Break their hearts.

- Really something! - Exagerate.

What does it mean?

Hi, Ah Lai, see you at the old place.

Right, bye!

- Look at him pretending. - Yeah.

Hello?

Oh, Ah Sang. Why are you calling me?

Missing me? Didn't you just get married yesterday?

How am l? I'm better, thank you very much.

What? See me immediately? OK.. where?

Kowloon tong!

Good, I'll come right away. Wait....

...a kiss.

Ok, kiss you!

I really lost face just then!

Tomorrow we'll go to an island for a picnic. Then we'll know who hasn't got a girlfriend.

I'm going to meet Ah Sang.

I'll go find my Ada.

I'll go date my lover.

I'll wait for my lover to date me.

I'll go and find a lover!

What are you looking at, bitch? Get lost!

Jerk!

Jerk? I want it too, but not with you.

Go to hell!

Miss, can we make friends?

This is a free world.

- How does it sound? - Well, it'll depends on you.

- Disco? - No taste.

- How about karaoke? - Are you feeling ok?

You're OK, I'm OK.

Anita Mui?

- Street Car Named Desire. - Sally Yip

Autumn comes, Autumn goes.

Sandy Lam?

Grey!

- Still grey? It was two years ago. - How about colourful?

- Why not say, colour fading? - Sandy Lam.

Hold on...

Get lost!

Hold it!

What's the matter with you? One song and you get hostile.

You think you're something.

It's not hostility, it's not giving you face.

I can't do that? Is it a crime?

Great, its my turn to ask you.

Alright.

Zhou Xuan.

We're here to guess the old hit songs, not testing ancient oldies.

Don't you know Zhou Xuan? Bak Guang?

- Not my kind of music. - Not your kind? Go Lan?

- BBQ pork bun! - Right, BBQ pork bun. I'll BBQ your buns!

No chemistry.

Hey, what now, bitch?

How would a little girl know these?

It's Zhou Xuan, right? 'Being Lovesick Under The Bright Moon Night'.

Alright, alright, please, just move on. I told you I won't hit on you...

We have no chemistry... so, just go home and be lovesick all you want.

Are you leaving?

You won't go, so I will.

Why only date me and not others?

I thought you must be free on your day off tomorrow.

You think you're charitable? Afraid that I'll get lonely and bored?

Infact I like you. That's why I date you.

What will we do?

Nothing really. Just want to swim, BBQ and chat.

Just that?

The night is long. We'll talk 'till dawn?

Whatever you like to do.

So the truth has been revealed. Everyone knows your true intentions.

If there's something you like to do but I don't. Then what?

Then I shall follow you.

We're in the wild and I can't get help.

You five big men.

I'm just a weak girl, who can I call?

They're bringing their girlfriends too.

It's too dangerous then.

Every couple will be at it. How will I not be influenced!?

You don't have to follow suit.

I'll be influenced so closely by them.

Can you stop yourself?

Don't worry, I won't take advantage of you.

You can, but I'm afraid I won't be able to.

Then don't force yourself.

You want me to join them?

No! I want you to participate, not join them, ok?

What fo?

What is it you want?

I didn't want anything. It's you who wants.

I just want a date for a trip tomorrow at Lantau lsland.

You just need to say yes or no then. Well?

It's difficult to decide, so difficult.

It's really giving me a headache.

Forget it. Nevermind.

I'll do better by myself.

How much?

Why buy this book?

There's beauty in the book. Better than bringing a girl.

At least it won't nag.

I can read it or close it whenever I want.

But this book isn't for reading. It's for listening.

It's a Japanese learning cassette tape.

I'll put it back. It's cheaper to bring a veggie along.

- I'm here to return the discs. - Okay.

- Thank you, Miss. - Thanks.

Xi Men Qing, possess me!

Xi Men Qing, possess me!!

Pan Jin Lian, posses her!

Pan Jin Lian, posses her!

Pan Jin Lian, posses....

Brother Qing...

...Iet's go.

I'm sister Lian.

- Let's have coffee. - Whateveryou say.

Don't let my handsome face deceive you. Or my sweet talk carry you away.

Appearance is just an illusion.

Only cherish is worthy of respect.

How much you got?

You mean 'cherish'?

- I read the work of Xu Zhi Mo. - What's that?

- Poetry. - You better not read it.

I wrote you a poem too.

Uncle!

Do you remember we went rowing, a long time ago?

Yes, Auntie brought me there.

- How is she these days? - She's married with three kids.

She plays Mah-jong and watches TV in her leisure time.

Everything has changed in ten years.

Twenty years is more like it.

But there is one thing that hasn't changed... She's still five years younger than you.

Time waits for no man, but there are some who just do not age.

That's old but young at heart.

You're so humorous.

No, it's a heart to heart talk.

I have no idea why girls love old fogies.

Old fashion is thought as a new trend now. Right?

Some girls might like it, but not me.

We'll go for a BBQ party tomorrow, ok?

I'm afriad it's too hot for you, Uncle. I'll ask Auntie to play Mah-jong with you, ok?

Mei, why did you agree to have lunch with me today?

To tell Auntie that, today, she has nothing to regret about dumping you.

Don't know if I'm able to cross here.

Mister!

I'm alright.

- So sorry. - Mister, are you blind?

You're smart. I'm blind, you see?

Hey, don't stand there. Come back.

I'm not like this on ordinary days.

I have five bodyguards and ten servants who come with me.

But I don't like this way of life. So I ran away.

I had a stick before. Wouldn't you know it... I met some bad guys.

They robbed my money as I went walking in the park.

Poor guy.

Yes.

Where is your family?

Don't mention them again!

I don't want ot be recognised. I'm the son of Li Jia Cheng.

I said, I'm his son!

Really sorry.

You don't have to say that. I want to touch you. Can l?

I'm not pretty atall, sir. I'll help you across the road first.

Don't say anything. Let me help you to cross the road.

You're really nice.

I'll have eye surgery next week.

They said I'll have 99% chance of success.

When I open my eyes, the first one I want to see, is you.

I don't think so, because I'm going overseas with my sweetheart next week.

Sweetheart? Are you still in school?

'Sweetheart' means my husband.

It's too bad you can't see, he's standing right behind you.

I'm sorry, I'm blind. I can't see him.

But I could sense that he is so handsome and kind-hearted.

Damn it! Are there any cars?

Be careful Mister, are you blind?

Yes Miss, I'm blind. That's why I bumped into you, I'm sorry.

Are you alright?

Yes, I'm blind, can't you see?

Miss, I want to touch you. I want to know how pretty you are.

Miss, can l?

You pervert, disguised as a blind man to fondle me. I took your wallet...

...for punishment!

Bitch! You'd steal from a blind peson?! What's the matter with you?!

Catch me!

Catch you? No way!

Where's your girlfriend?

I don't have one.

Neither do you. Don't pretend. We don't have girlfriends, so what?

Hey! Kidstuff, hurry, we're waiting foryou!

Chubby, you caused an accident. What now?!

Are you serious? I caused it?

If it's not you, then what caused it? I broke my bike and hurt my leg.

Pay me $200 for compensation, or you'll see see!

- Are you that mean, my friend? - Who's your friend?!

Damn you! Are you going to pay or not?

Can you be reasonable?

Don't talk so much! Are you going to pay or not?

...or else I'll break your leg!

Hey, are you looking for trouble?!

I'll beat you!

Get lost! Go!

Don't you believe I'll hit you?

Get away. I don't want to see you again!

Don't you dare come back!

- Are you alright, Kidstuff? - I'm fine.

- Are you alright, Kidstuff? - I'm fine. Don't worry, we have many brothers in Lantau lsland.

Don't worry, we have many brothers in Lantau lsland.

Alright? Don't be scared.

This one? Very pretty!

Yes, it suits you.

Hey, hey...

Here's some luck. There are several girls inside.

Let's get to know them!

Not so fast. Just follow our original plan.

I'm going in now. "Let me go, please!!"

No... don't kill yourself! Don't do it!

Let me die, please...

We're doing business, don't fool around here.

Boss, don't talk silly. He isn't fooling around, he's crazy.

It's not lucky to have this kind of thing in the morning.

Boss, don't say the word "morning" again!

Will het get excited by that word?

'Morning' means 'dawn'. If you say dawn...

Donkey will get sad.

- Dawn, the singe?! - Yes, they're brothers.

Donkey, don't be sad. A lady wants to know you.

Who?

Are you Dawn's brothe?

Miss, the thing is...

if I hadn't got a throat infection...

and joined the singing competition with my brother...

it wouldn't be Dawn today, it would be Donkey.

and his hit song 'I'm sorry, I love you'...

I sang it for him.

He makes side money when he's free. He sings songs off key.

I'm his brother and it's sad to see him like this.

Doesn't matter, I like you both.

Because your songs are good.

Thank you... Thank you!

You've got it.

She is lucky.

Come here.

My name is Angie Lau.

What do you feel when I say this?

Andy Lau!

- Right. - I love him so much!

- He is my little brother. - Really? Doesn't look like it.

Well it's true.

If I hadn't got a fever and didn't...

take the training course, he wouldn't be today.

Tell me something about him.

Was he smart and lovely when he was a kid?

I really love him, come on, tell me!

At that time my family background was so complicated.

Miss, my name is Chow Sing Tsi.

Chow Sing Chi's older brothe?

That's right, but I'm his younger brother.

- Doesn't look like it. - I can prove it with this picture.

It's Chow Sing Chi movie still, I've got one too.

- No, that's me. - That's you?!

- We're twins. - It's not you.

- Yes, we're twins. - Really?

Well, when we were nine, our house caught fire.

I saved him by wrapping him in tin foil.

I sacrificed myself and so became this.

I sacrificed myself and so became this. - Is that true? - Hey, are you guys fooling around here?

- Is that true? - Hey, are you guys fooling around here?

Quickly, get out, or I'll get Big Brother.

Big Brothe? Who is he? A big shot?

Look!

Woah! Master Lau!!

I'm sorry to give you trouble. It's our mistake....

What kind of people are they?

That's them.

You people are really mean.

Brother...

this is really none of my business!

I'm not the one to make decisions.

You son of a bitch, you have no righteousness.

It's none of our business.

Yeah, it's none of our business. It's him.

- Kidstuff, you take care. - Take care.

Take your time.

- Goodbye everybody. - Goodbye.

It's really my fault...

Hey, forget it!

Forget what?!

Can you just finish this one?

Get out of here!

- Go! - Go!

Is it true?

Your turn to lead.

Damn you.

Are you bewitched? Come on, hurry.

Can we not play?

You won't lose alot, it's only a game. Come on, quickly.

Let me think.

Let me know when you're ready.

You going to play or not?

I'll show a flush straight first, maybe it's a royal flush.

Then four aces, no fight.

Also four 2's, then you'll all lose.

Everyone owes me 52 cards, thanks.

You son of a bitch, you cheat us...! I'll kill you...

You cheater!

Ox Devil, possess Kidstuff!

Like it?

Madam, child, where are you going?

I'm tired.

Lu Dong Bin... (God of education)

Shit.

Possess Rhino Hide!

What does 'Lu' do?

- Play flute! - 'Play flute'....oh.

How come he plays the flute?

Dog....

Dog... possess Ginseng!

Dog, bite Lu Dong Bin!

If you bite, I'll kick you to death.

What the hell are you doing? You bite me that hard!

Don't kick so hard. We told him it's just a joke!

Aren't you guys under my control?

Your control? You think you can do magic?

If you can, ask Pan Jin Lian to possess Buddha Fruit.

Yeah!

Pan Jin Lian...

Pan Jin Lian... Hey, no...

Hey, no...

Possess Buddha Fruit!

Don't, don't!

It's really Pan Jin Lian, did you hea?

Are you joking? Why would she moan so terrible?

It's her spirit. Come with me to take a picture.

No, why me, because I can fight?

You're right.

Don't be scared, you're able to fight a few people.

- Right. -You're right.

- You're not afraid of ghosts? - I'm not afraid of man or ghost!

I'll go with you.

Did used to be a Thai restaurant?

No, this is for fighting ghosts.

This is better.

You go upstairs. If you see a ghost, come downstairs to tell me.

Got it?

How is it?

No ghost upstairs.

Of course not, if you didn't go up.

Let's look inside.

Go on!

I've looked, nothing here.

- You didn't look there. - You didn't look there.

Nothing, only a patch of light.

I tell you, this is called 'ghostly light'.

What are they doing?

Listen, they are making love.

When ghosts make love, they can't see or hear.

- Is that true? - Yes.

But they'll appear if you use yellow cloth to cover them.

Go on!

Help, ghost!!...Help!

Let go!

Very good!

What do you want? Don't get crazy...

Get away, get away!

Help me, let me go!

Help...

Oh no!

Don't...! Mommy!

Let's go!

Long time no see. You guys still like to talk nonsense.

You don't believe us? Ask Kidstuff.

We've really seen a female ghost.

Go find a Sorcerer. We Police don't take care of ghosts.

In fact we're not sure she's a ghost.

But sure she's a woman, also very indecent.

How did you know she was indecent?

This is not indecency? When she chased after you guys..

Chasing after you two! If it's not indecency, then it's madness.

I don't know if it's indecency...

but I've taken some pictures, I'll show you afterwards.

Well...

Should you send some people to check it out?

If I send 'Policemen', people will say they took advantage.

- Right. - Of course we should send Police 'Women'.

Alright, most important is to send some young and pretty ones.

Ba Wong Fa, we're so close, give us some help.

Alright, I'll send Liang Lai Di.

She's familiarwith that area, she grew up there.

What? Those boat girls?!

Right, they all grew up on boats.

I don't mind ugly old women, but l hate their smell.

Yeah!

I'm sending them to check the case, not to let you guys take advantage.

What advantage? We can't even get close to them!

I think we should send in a troop to catch the ghost.

Decision is made. You guys go back.

Kidstuff,

I didn't ask you to leave... just them.

Alright, you stay here for Ba Wong Fa, bye!

Really poor.

Sit down.

Afraid I'll eat you?

No.

I won 2 tickets last week at the Police fun day.

It's two days and one night at a resort.

You won't refuse?!

I won't.

That's good, I've booked the ticket for this afternoon.

- So soon? - Strike the iron while it's hot.

- You taken your medicine yet? - What medicine?

Nevermind.

Right, don't feed the wrong medicine to my grandma.

- Grandma? - Right, you go with my grandma.

- Me and your grandma, to the resort? - Yes.

Sweet congee is ready!

Leave some for the Policewomen.

No way, it's better to feed the ants!

- You are too mean. - What? Mean?!

I said we should all join forces to deal with those ugly women.

Then they'll disappear automatcially.

At that time, this world will be more beautiful.

Then if those women join together... what would happen to ugly men like us?

Not us, just you.

I'm not having the sweet congee, I've got to go.

Please...

Hold on!

I'm too ugly. I'm afraid I'll scare them. You go, quickly.

I get the worst of it.

Please come in, everybody!

Please.

Who's Rhino Hide?

I am. Just call me Romeo.

My name is Valentino.

My name is Gam Seoi. I'm a boat-person too.

Dai Sang di, is it my turn now?

Hey...!

Hello... hello...

I'm Rhino Hide, the owner of this place.

- Please have a seat. - Rhino Hide is it?

Your skin is as thick as a Rhino's?

Madam Woo has told us, among you guys...

Apart from Buddha Fruit, who is reliable,

the rest of you are not to be approached.

Madam Woo misunderstood. We repented two years ago.

Yes, all four of us have converted.

- Also, we don't eat beef. - Right, doctor said beef is no good.

I'm sorry, these three are...?

Let me introduce,...

'Cold as Frost'.

'Pretty as Snow'

This one is simpler, two words only...

'lce Stick'. That's Popsicle.

They were trained by me for nine months.

They know what self respect is, and what a beast is.

A beast? What is that? I don't know either.

Look in the mirror.

Don't waste our effort.

Don't think about taking advantage.

We never thought about it.

Forget it, Ginseng. Once a thief, always a thief.

People won't drop their prejudice even if you repent.

I don't care. Let them think whatever they want.

Fine. That's the result of fooling around.

God, why did you make me so handsome?

Xi Man Qing, why did you reincarnate into my body?

Yes!

Is the congee ready?

Go and get some for the ladies.

Are we worthy to have the sweet congee?

Yes, please do.

Alright.

I don't care whether you guys mend your ways or not.

Now that you're in the earnest, we won't keep you away.

We'll get it ourselves.

Liang Lai Di!

Her name is really 'Liang Lai Di'!

Idiots.

What's wrong?

If I knew they be helping themselves, I'd have put in sleeping pills.

Guys, I don't know if I've done it right.

I've put in the whole bottle of sleeping pills.

Really?!

Buddha Fruit,

you're my best friend.

Madam, look.

Sleeping pills?!

Son of a bitch, you put in the whole bottle!

Just you wait!! Listen to what they say first.

They must have thought that we'd pass out.

We'll beat them at their own game.

They'll suffer.

How is it?

Not bad!

It's OK.

Too sweet though.

Don't demand too much when you don't pay.

Madam's got brains.

Very tired.

Frankly speaking, don't sleep, or I might do it.

What are you saying...?

Fainting...

Lie down.

No need.

No, I have to go.... bedroom.

The sleeping pills are working!

Don't have to worry.

We'll go rest for a while.

Go!

Buddha Fruit!

You have to take advantage?!

We're leaving them alone?

What do we do now?

Nothing. They pretended to faint. You'll get caught if you go in.

- I'll go in and see. - You want to die?! It's serious!

Right, I'm too anxious.

Calm down, think about it.

Then I'll think of rubbing their breasts.

Go to hell! Calm down...calm down...

You know lip-reading. Listen to what they say.

Alright, listen, turn off the light in a moment.

And then four people go for a touch, anyone can do it.

After that, go stand by the wall.

Then we leave no evidence, they can't blame us.

But in fact we've done it. How's that?

Great idea!

Will it work?

Of course! Come...

Which one should I touch?

- The one in the skirt. - The most annoying one!

What are you doing?

Why did you treat me like that?

Why?!!

Don't cry. We won't tell.

I was wondering why the mouth stunk so much!

You wouldn't suck my toe, would you?

- Shut up, or I'll bite your toe off! - Go ahead! Go ahead!

Go ahead, it's useless because it had been sucked by you.

What's so funny? You think I won't hit you?!

Madam, we're ready.

Right.

What now? Is there in fact a ghost?

My brothers are waiting for me. Wait a moment..

The girls said they'll leave if there's no ghostly sound.

- If I had realised... - I have a meeting.

I'm going to develop a ghost picture as evidence.

Stop bullshitting, don't fool yourself.

- No, it's a real ghost! - Forget it,...pretending it's real.

What shall we do now?

Find someone to disguise as a ghost.

Great! I agree! I agree!

Who will do it?

Let's have a finger guessing game?

OK!

OK! One, two...

One, two...

Guess what? It's not your business. Ready... one, two, three.

Come on, go for it!

May I try scissors?

What did you say?

- Well, I'll try cloth. - Cloth?!

Damn it, it won't work if all of us do the same.

Well, I'll try a fist.

Right'O!

Well then?

There are many roaches, flies and rats in here, don't you know?

I'll catch them first.

Let me show you some pictures and you'll believe me.

- Tell me honestly, is there a real ghost? - Yes, there is! I'm not kidding.

Alright, I'll wait for 5 minutes more. I'll leave if nothing happens.

What about this chubby? I'll catch him foryou.

Hey, move faster!

Come on!

These two are young and strong. Which one do you like?

Both of them?

Don't be afraid, keep moving!

Some more behind them!

How lucky we are! Four girls.

I can possess anyone as I wish and escape.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

- It's a real ghost! - It's a ghost crying.

Steady on, we'll go upstairs and take a look.

Upstairs? But the crying is coming from there.

I'll try to do one thing under cover of another.

Aren't you scared?

You're trembling.

I'm not scared.

Let's go.

- What's up? - Chickens got into the cage, hurry!

I know, shut up, let's do it.

We're going to offend, so you two outflank the otherway.

I'm staying here. When those girls pass out, we'll....

Oh yes, that shorty is a satyr. How come he isn't following?

Something's wrong.

Over there,..over there.

This picture is proof!

Did they all go to the haunted house?

I won't be fooled.

If the girls get scared, which one shall I hug?

Catch him!

Who is that?

Don't bother, its a satyr anyway. Catch him!

Here comes the hero, come on!

Help! It's a ghost!

Where's the ghost?

Don't be scared, I'm here. Nothing will hurt you!

I'm scared.

Don't be scared, I'm here. Don't be scared. It'll be alright.

- An illusion! - I'm fainting anyway.

Don't be afraid, I'll carry you.

- If there is a bed... - On the other side.

Really?!

That's great!

How lucky it is!

So comfortable.

Me too.

I want you to stay with me.

Help!

I'm scared!

- I'm scared! - I'm scared!

Get him.

Don't hit... Don't hit! It's me!

What happened? Is there a ghost?

Ghost?

It's not my business, what ghost?

What?..Why are you holding me? What happened?

Help! Help!

Lock them up!

I can't hold on! This picture can prove that there is a ghost.

- Come and see. - Let's see then.

What's going on?

Miss, please do me a favour.

Take off your panties and let me possess you, then take me out.

I can't go out by myself.

Don't run!

Help!

Please help!

Don't let him kiss you, he'll suck your strength.

You have to kiss him first and make him happy,

and then he won't run away.

Make him happy, make him satisfied, or don't expect to escape.

Come on, take off your panties and let me possess you.

Help!

Panties off, hurry!

Run!

No!

I wouldn't have worked that hard, if I knew you hadn't got panties on.

Shut up. I'm not raping you, just possessing you.

These worms are like philter. They're good for vitality.

I can't take it.

Eat! Don't be afraid!

Run, run!

Run, faster!

- She doesn't look like she's possessed. - Yeah, I know!

It's true, she's really possessed by a male ghost.

It's easy to distinquish male or female, let me see.

Hey!

It doesn't look like a male on the upper part.

Let me have a look at the lower part.

I'll warn you guys, don't tease our madam!

You told us she's a male ghost.

I said Madam is being possessed by a male ghost!

Right, stop teasing or you'll get into trouble.

- Let her run her own course without interference. - No, being possessed isn't a funny thing.

Don't worry, we'll take the Madam back to the city.

City? It's too late, she's almost pregnant.

Hey, stop talking nonsense!

Why not? A man has gotten into her.

Nevermind, I won't touch her.

Nevermind, I won't touch her. Oh no.... it's a real possession!

Oh no.... it's a real possession!

What shall we do?

Don't panic, we must have an exorcism.

Hurry!

Brothers, take off their clothes.

Wait!

Let us go first.

Otherwise, how could we report to Madam?

- This way. - Hurry.

We're forced to do it.

Hey, behave yourself!

Hey! Mind your own business. It's our business.

What business? I have feelings.

- We have no interest in man. - That's true.

What about the girls inside?

Everybody knows it. It's not easy.

I've thought about it, there's no way.

Will you guys help me if I do you a favou?

Sure, you got it!

Madam, are you alright? Madam?!

Oh no, save Madam first!

I released her soul but don't know where it went.

Where did it go?

In his body! Hug him, hurry, don't let him go!

Hold on tight! Hold on tight!

It's done already.

In his body.

Hug him, hurry...

Hold on tight...

It's gone over there. Hold on tight!

What about me?

You three, quickly hug him, hug him...

No, not these three! What are you doing?

You guys always get everything, but not me!

I'm not playing!

Let me tell you, no one has been possessed. Everything here is faked.

Also your Madam...

What male ghost possessed he? It's conspiracy...

I don't know either, anyway, no more games!

About just now. Our bodily contact...

I... I will take responsibility.

You're really a beast, you should be beaten!

Big mouth.

It's none of my business. Don't you...

Go away, I've got no time for the disco.

Kidstuff! Quickly, open the door!

Open the door, quickly...

Open up, Kidstuff!

It's us!

You guys brought an invisible man with you.

Be careful!

Bring down the curtain, I'll go get the things.

Sit down.

Use the scissors to cut up the bandage on his head. I'll close the curtain.

Rhino Hide, the head is over here, that's the chest.

I like to cut from the bottom, it's not your business.

- Then you should cut from the leg. - I'll pinch you to death if you say anymore.

Go close the curtains.

Don't play. Cut up the bandage and let me breath, I'm suffocating.

How would a man have a breast?

Sorry!

Nevermind, touch if you like. It's not me anyway.

Who is he?

She is the police inspector...

and inside her is the male ghost you've seen in the haunted house.

But he possessed her body so she's female on the outside...

OK, OK... I understand.

You haven't fixed it yet?

Come and help, quickly! Kidstuff, look after him.

Hey, what are you doing?

I have to electrify you untill you disappear. Kidstuff, look after him.

Fatty, don't let them electrify me.

You can't bare to see this woman being treated like this too.

Electrify you, not her. You're not her.

Although I'm not her, electrifying me is to electrify her body.

Although I'm not her, electrifying me is to electrify her body. She'll bare the pain, I'm a ghost, I'm not afraid.

She'll bare the pain, I'm a ghost, I'm not afraid.

Come on.. come on..

- Where should I grasp? - The most sensitive area.

Right, the most sensitive is the fingers.

Like hell, how would fingers be the most sensitive?

I'm not right?

Try and use your finger to clean your ears, where does it feel itchy?

- Where? - Mouth!

Go to hell. Now help out.

Will this kill he?

Of course not. 100 watts is to scare the ghost only.

Scare the ghost? Can you do that?

Buddha Fruit, hold him down.

Turn it on.

Turn it off! Turn it off!

Turn it off.

Looks like BBQ pork.

Buddha Fruit! Buddha Fruit!

How do you feel?

Hey, Buddha Fruit...

What are you doing? Rape?

Rape?

I want to, but...

No, it's a misunderstanding.

Yes, a misunderstanding.

What happened? Am I alright?

Yes, you've got the advantage. You're fine.

What advantage? I don't know.

- Can you show me again? - Yeah, you wish.

I'll tell Madam Wu to put you sex lupines into prison!

Good heart is not well repaid, you've been possessed.

Possession?! Or taking advantage?

You've seen it, the ghost is over there.

Don't pretend. You guys planned everything.

Where's my hatchet men?

Sorry, they've been sold to the club.

You guys wait for the arrest.

Madam, it's really a ghost. The picture is the proof.

Good, it'll be evidence to prove your're all sex lupines.

Never mind, I sexually assaulted a nurse when I was born.

Very well. I'll tell Miss Wu, and let her handle you.

Wait! Send my regards to Madam Wu's grandma.

What?

It's just like a dream.

A fond dream leaves no trace.

We've been abandoned.

Dream and abandonment. Isn't this an 'abandoned dream'?

Dream and abandonment. Isn't this an 'abandoned dream'? Stop talking nonsense!

Stop talking nonsense!

Hey, I'm here.

How come you're still here?

Go to hell!

Go easy. I'm dead but not buried yet.

You better die early.

It's early enough to die this young.

I just want you guys to help me.

You want us to help you?!

What do we get in return?

Good. You help me, I'll help you. We'll help each other.

Don't get close.

Say no more. We'll help you and you'll help us, OK?

Madam, what do you say?

Looks like it.

Sang-dai said the picture was taken at the haunted house.

Yes, Madam.

Frankly speaking, I've seen that man,

but not sure whether they're fooling around or if it's a real ghost.

I was scared at that time.

Later they said the ghost possessed me.

You believe it?

How could l, Madam?

It didn't occur to me that night that he's the drug dealer we want.

Or else I'd have caught him, man or ghost.

It's not too late now.

If they can take a picture of him, that means they're in touch.

You mean they conspired in drug dealing?!

If it's true, they're being used.

Although they are lazy, unemployed and fool around,

they would not get involved with drugs.

You'll handle this case and keep an eye on them.

Notify me if anything happens.

Listen up, be smart, tell him clearly

what each player's got in their hand.

Just coming!

- This Mah-jong... - Hurry, I've been waiting ages!

You guys wait for me.

Coming!

Don't know what to say to these herbs. Crazy!

- Of course, otherwise I wouldn't be here. - You'll know who's best, after 4 rounds.

4 rounds?! No, don't you go untill we've played 8 rounds.

Better make it 12 rounds!

Go in!

No need. No one can see me.

That's terrific.

They really can't hear or see you?

- Exactly, treat me like an invisible man. - That's great!

They've got luck now, but not afterwards.

You mean Sang-dai?

Don't talk rubbish. They've won a lot from me. I have to get revenge.

You go in now and look at their tiles... and tell Sang-dai what they're calling.

What is "calling"?

You've never played Mah-jong?

- I don't know how to play. - Never mind, just tell Sang-dai what they have.

How?

Don't worry about other things.

Tell him which words, circles and bamboos his upper hand has.

But, what are 'words', 'circles' and 'bamboos'?

You bastard, go to hell.

You guys bring out all your crosses to kill him.

Super-cross, here I come...

Hey, big brothers, he said he would like a cooked fish.

Tell him to eat shit.

You tell him.

If he doesn't learn what a full house or two pairs is tonight, he won't get anything.

Even candles and paper ingot.

Tell him, don't even think about seeing Little Qiu again.

But I want to eat.

Go teach him first. Eat afterwards.

Alright.

A cooked fish to eat?

Anything you want, but you have to learn the cards first.

Now, watch carefully. This is an Ace, this is a King...

Show down!

I won, everybody. One bet.

Are you kidding?! You won again!

You thought it didn't take knowledge to play the game.

It's only luck, but I won one game every game. What can you say?

Bad luck lately. Always get trouble.

Let me use Pomelo leaves to wash away my bad luck.

No bad luck.

I want it, too.

The most is 4 pairs, or 2 pairs plus a straight.

This is worse. Only 3 pairs. The most is 11 points.

Almost 3 straights, it's only 2 straights.

Looks like I'm gonna win 3 bets.

Winning.

Banker's ready. Please hurry up, everybody.

- Who is he? - Who?

He's a cheater!

How come you can see me?

You can see him?

I'm a ghost!

You're a cheater!

Damn it, no wonder the banker wins every time!

I'll hit him even if he's a ghost!

No, don't hit him! He's really a ghost!

You'll become a ghost soon!

Help.

How many points?

1, 2, 3, 6 points small.

Break it down. How many did I get?

- Is it true? All of them? - Yes, all win.

- You cheated him, son of a bitch! - How could l?

Move, let me.

Guess!

Can I not?

Guess, or I'll cremate you, hurry!

- Guess what? I've seen everything. - Seen everything?

- I don't think so. - You better tell him.

4, 5, 6, 1 5 points large.

Stop...open!

1, 2, 3, 6 points small.

Won again.

I've won again.

- Follow him. - Yes, they've won a lot.

You have to lose this time, others will get suspicious.

Really?

1,2, 3, small.

Bet large win large. Bet large!

- Bet large! - Huh? Bet Large?

Smaller bet.

Open!

1, 2, 3, 6 points small.

Are you joking?! Small?

Oh, no, lost again...

No reason, why bet large?

Yeah!

Don't waste time. Bet everything on this one.

Good, I agree.

Bet what?

Siu Siu.. (Little)

Little? Little!

He said 'Little'.

What 'little'? Little means 'small', stupid!

You're right. It's small.

Bet everything on small!

Siu Siu? Siu Siu?!

Open!

4, 5, 6, 1 5 points large!

This time didn't work.

You got no money?

Where's the ghost?!

- Where is he? - Where did he go?

Over there!

Siu Siu?....Siu Siu...

Can you see me? Or hear me?

Siu Siu?

Siu Siu, nod your head even if you can't see me, you hea?

I'm sorry I made you a widow.

I won't leave you this time.

Drive, we're going home.

Siu Siu!

Siu Siu!

Siu Siu, look out!

Don't hurt my Siu Siu!

What a drag, making me wait this long.

There was a traffic jam.

Let's go!

- Is the ghost back? - Not yet.

Kill him when he get's back.

Bastard. Where did you go to at the last game? You made us lose alot!

So what? Leave me alone.

You're meaner than me.

Bitch... Ioafer!

Let go!

- Why don't you? - I won't, now what?

Alright, forget it! Go out for a talk.

What fo?

- Let's talk. - About what?

Wait, what are the first words you'll say when you see he?

- I don't use words. I use my gaze. - Gaze? What gaze?

How can I tell you? It's natural.

It's called "sending electricity" in slang. You go over there, I'll show you.

If your gaze doesn't work then it's cheap electricty.

I'll let you go ahead.

OK, you'll go first. I give you 5 minutes.

I pass if you don't come out after 5 minutes.

Good, brother, you mustn't feel such self-pity. Can't blame yourself for being ugly.

Blame your parents.

Learn.

Alright, I'll see how much your parents can help you.

Don't wait. See you tomorrow.

Who are you looking fo?

You!

I don't know you.

I don't know you either.

We don't have to know each other before we meet.

Are you a salesman? What are you selling?

I sell everything, including "love".

You're a giggle. I don't need you!

How is it, brothe? You failed in 5 seconds.

Woman used to faint when they first saw me.

She's fainted too, but from fear.

Okay, your turn.

If you can get in, I'll...

Cut if off?

Not cut, but use a 10lb hammer to strike it.

Take your time.

What's the matter this time?

Sorry, I come from America. I am Mr. Nick Chan's lawyer.

Mr. Nick Chan is dead.

He have a supermarket, give to miss Yau.

Who is Miss Yau?

I am.

Oh, Chinese, very good!

We speaking Cantonese, okay?

Miss Yau, unfortunately Nick Chan died in America.

I'm his lawyer.

I managed his assets,

and he specified that I give you his supermarket in San Francisco.

What supermarket?

It's a medium size one, about 3 acres.

The parking lot can hold 5,000 cars.

May I come in to give you the details?

Yes, come on in!

I mean, thank you.

Whiskey?

Yes, thanks.

Nick has a supermarket in San Francisco?

Not only one, but he left you the biggest.

Two years ago he came to our firm to draw up the will.

How much is it worth?

About 40 million U.S.

But it has good business, you can earn one million every month.

You can go there and see.

My duty is to accompany you there to take posession.

Is that right? When can we leave at the earliest?

Anytime is good.

Only me and you?

- I'm a little worried... - About what?

You know, I don't know the place or you.

If you're a liar, then what would I do?

Nuts. How could I lie to you?

Why not? Am I not worth it?

No, you're worth it, but l... wouldn't lie to you.

Miss Yau, just take a vacation there.

We have to find out the legality of your inheritance over there.

Let's have a drink first.

If you're tipsy, it's more enjoyable.

I'll make a phone call.

Right, what should I call you?

I'm Romeo Valentino Fatanovo.

What,..novo?

He said he's a lawyer...

and would take me to the U.S to inherit Nick's assets.

I don't understand how would he knows my relationship to Nick.

Beat him at his own game. We'll use him to bring the goods.

Kill him if things go wrong.

Take good care of him.

You're not afraid he'll take advantage of me?

Who can take advantage of you?

You take off his clothes, and be our scapegoat tonight.

Frankly speaking, did I do anything last night?

You're funny. You don't know what you've done?

Right, I'm like this. Sometimes I don't rememberwhat I've done.

Me too.

So this time I go to America, everything will depend on you.

No problem.

Okay, all done.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

Don't worry, he can't see me.

Otherwise I'll scare people.

To the airport.

OK, OK!

Drive, hurry! Drive!

Kidstuff worries about you. He sent me here.

Hey, how come you can be out in the sun light?

Don't you see? I've got this.

I can go anywhere with this on.

Don't sit there, disappear!

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Fumble away... I wasted my life because of this.

Kiss... take your time.

You'll get jail time if you don't die on the marital bed.

What are you doing?

Nothing. I'm like this when I get excited.

Are you excited?

Wait. There is a lot of things in the suitcase.

Yes, it's so heavy, what's inside?

Underwear of course! You packed it for me, don't you remembe?

You're right, I packed it for you.

You can't see anything but the women's underwear.

Do you know there is a hiding place in the suitcase?

I forgot, I have to bring something there to give to my..my...

Uncle.

Uncle!

Is it really?

Go find it!

Shut up. You've got to turn right at the road ahead to find it.

It's the police station. Want to get out?

No, just kidding with you.

Get out. Your brothers will be here soon. I'll tell them.

He's getting smarter lately. Teach him a lesson for me.

It's not too comfortable here. Let's sit inside.

You just treat me like I don't know anything. Please go back to the airport.

Bastard!

- Hurry, get some men! - Men?!!

From Africa?

Bring him in!

Let's go.

Buddy, may I use your phone?

Didn't see me!

Let me cover his eyes, then you go in.

Will it work?

- He's a ghost, of course it will! - Right!

Hey, what are you up to?!

We're looking for you!

What fo? What are you doing?!

Good, I don't need to take our luggage through customs, we'll take you and...

cut you up, remove your guts and fill you up with cocaine.

Then ship you to America for burial.

How can you think about such things? You know you're already surrounded by police.

Ah Guang! Bring me an axe.

No!! Don't!!

Siu Siu, please help me out here.

Please!!

Siu Siu, there's nothing good to see in someone being cut up, go!

Don't move!

Rhino Hide, we're here to save you!

I haven't seen this for a long time, will it work?

Still works.

Possess me, let me teach him a lesson.

- What? - Hurry!

No, come out! Quickly, come out!

What are you doing? You nearly killed me!

- You asked me to possess you. - Yes, you don't know how to fight?

I can possess you but I can't fight.

Oh my god!

Wait, buddy, don't hit me...

Don't hit me, I'm sorry, I won't dare... Sorry, sorry, sorry...

Posses him, possess the bastard!

Put up your hands!

Really something, shorty!

What are you looking at? Possess him, possess him!

What's wrong with you?!

I can't stand it, he smells bad!

Throw him out.

Hurry, help him!

Me? I can't.

He can't manage by himself!

Go on!

Go on!

I'm coming!

You really can't.

Yes, I already said so.

His samadhi force is so strong, how can I possess him?

Come on!

Come on.

Come on then!

You bastard!

Come on.

Come on.

Get in the car!

Get in!

Really, thanks alot guys.

I've got my revenge, I can go in peace now.

Sure, but we haven't gotten rich yet. You must think of a way to...

-....make us happy. - Alright. It's on me.

Get in the car!

Don't push, it's full.

Hey, you're too fat, take the next one.

I've got a seat over there, take mine.

- I'll switch with you. - Switch your head!

- I'll switch with you. - Switch your head! Hey!

Hey!

What you looking at?

What you looking at?