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1
00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:33,680
Jesus, please...
2
00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:40,560
- Mr Finchley?
- Oh. Time's up.
3
00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:43,439
[HE SNIFFS]
4
00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:44,799
Let's go.
5
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:48,800
[DISTANT LAUGHTER]
6
00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:33,159
...and also the fact that it
wasn't down to an audience voting.
7
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,799
It was a small room full of
experts who actually know
8
00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:38,439
what they're talking about.
That's what makes it special.
9
00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:40,839
So anyway, thank you
very much, thank you.
10
00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:42,959
[APPLAUSE]
11
00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:46,960
Well done. Thanks! It's really
good to meet you. Big fan.
12
00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:52,279
- Is he supposed to be nice?
- Very.
13
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,559
ALAN CARR: Ladies and gentlemen,
it's now my honour...
14
00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:57,239
- Not one of those shaggers, then?
- No. He's married, I think.
15
00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:00,279
...to bring to the stage
the presenter of the final award.
16
00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:04,280
You'll know him
as Bull's-eye Bill.
17
00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:07,759
He is, of course, the man,
the legend, Paul Finchley!
18
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,239
Oh, shit, shit, shit.
19
00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:14,240
[APPLAUSE]
20
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:31,199
No need. Really. Honestly, no need.
21
00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:34,999
Because I am not receiving
the Lifetime Achievement Award.
22
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,599
AUDIENCE: Aww!
23
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:38,599
I am, however, presenting it.
24
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:42,359
So think of me as John the Baptist
paving the way for Jesus Christ.
25
00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:43,599
[LAUGHTER]
26
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,879
Sorry, Mrs, but if you think
that that's blasphemous,
27
00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:49,279
you should've heard what I said
when I found out who HAD won it.
28
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:51,959
What can I say about this man?
29
00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:55,279
He's a man I spent
most of my life beside.
30
00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:59,280
A man best known to you,
and to me as... as...
31
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,599
Karl!
[LAUGHTER]
32
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:05,919
Yes, yes!
33
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:09,199
Not yet, mate! Not yet!
34
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:10,919
He was described in The Guardian
35
00:03:10,920 --> 00:03:14,159
as the natural successor
to David Jason,
36
00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:18,160
and by David Jason as "the man who
takes all the jobs I turn down".
37
00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:24,080
In his later years, he's added
acting to his many talents,
38
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,119
and proper acting, mind you,
39
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:29,399
none of the dicking about
he and I used to do, no.
40
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:32,719
Indeed, he was hugely
praised in The Times
41
00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:36,479
for his epic performance
as Richard III.
42
00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:40,480
Make the joke about them
preferring my bottom!
43
00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:45,319
The winner of this award, and I can
say this, ladies and gentlemen,
44
00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:49,320
because he has absolutely
no idea he's getting it...
45
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,839
...is a...
46
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:54,439
- Devastatingly handsome!
- ..devastatingly handsome...
47
00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:57,479
- Wholesomely kind, wonderful, generous.
- He's...
48
00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:59,879
Play the game, mate.
There's people watching.
49
00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:02,879
He's kind, apparently, and generous.
50
00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:04,519
He's got an arse
that can crack nuts.
51
00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:06,679
And he's got an arse
that can crack... What?
52
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:10,239
[LAUGHTER]
53
00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:14,240
He's got an arse
that can crack coconuts.
54
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:19,880
Ladies and gentlemen.
55
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:24,440
The only man I know who's vain
enough to invade his own stage.
56
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:28,839
And the winner of this year's
Lifetime Achievement Award,
57
00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:33,840
I give you, and you are very welcome
to him, the one, the only,
58
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:37,439
Sir Karl Jenkins.
59
00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:41,440
[WILD APPLAUSE]
60
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:51,000
- That went well.
- Livened things up. Coconuts!
61
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:54,679
[HE LAUGHS]
62
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,039
You look good.
63
00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,679
Yeah, I take Viagra before every
stage performance these days.
64
00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:00,399
Put some colour in my cheeks.
65
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:04,279
That and the very, very tight pants,
of course. That's my secret.
66
00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:06,799
Never could tell
when you were joking.
67
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:10,800
Neither could most of the audience!
You look tired.
68
00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:14,559
Oh. Is Marie not in tonight?
69
00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:18,560
Well, it's not as if I was
getting the award, is it?
70
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,639
Do you want it? You can have it.
71
00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:24,559
They gave it to you!
72
00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:28,560
Yeah, but it's for both our work.
73
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:32,920
Magnanimity was always
a stretch for you, wasn't it?
74
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,679
I really need a piss.
Have I got time for a piss?
75
00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:37,999
The trouble is,
you're the last award. After this...
76
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,399
Oh, he can hold it in.
77
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:42,599
He's got exceptional bladder control
for a man of his age.
78
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,759
- If you want to go, Paul?
- Really, you don't need me?
79
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:48,279
I think they got your quotes
already, don't you?
80
00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:53,280
Ah. Well in that case, I shall have
a piss and pity poor Karl here.
81
00:05:56,640 --> 00:06:00,640
Karl, honestly, truly deserved.
82
00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:06,480
It's nonsense. It's all nonsense.
83
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:32,719
- Hey!
- Hey! Loved your speech!
84
00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:36,159
Well, I thought it was important
that Karl got all the big laughs.
85
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:37,256
Huge fan by the way.
86
00:06:37,281 --> 00:06:40,184
Oh, likewise. I grew up
watching your routines.
87
00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:42,319
That was a long time ago now.
88
00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:46,320
Well, with repeat fees,
nothing's a long time ago.
89
00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:55,399
- I'm having similar thoughts.
- Simon.
90
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:58,999
How unlike you to find
the bit with the scorchers.
91
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,479
- She's dating Greg Davies.
- She's not.
92
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:05,480
And saying "scorchers" makes you
sound about 450. Shall we dance?
93
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,679
Do let's.
94
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,399
Paul!
95
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:16,400
Great speech, mate!
And what a great event. Simon.
96
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:21,319
Tom's too rude to introduce me,
and my manager's too shit
97
00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:24,399
so I must introduce myself -
I'm Paul Finchley.
98
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:25,639
Sir, you're a legend,
99
00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:28,039
you've no need to introduce
yourself to anyone in this room.
100
00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:29,799
- You'll go far.
- Oh.
101
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:33,239
He already has. He's just taken over
as Director of Data.
102
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:37,240
Fuck it. They get younger and
younger. Well done, young man, sir.
103
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:41,599
Shit. You called me "sir" -
well, I must call you "Lord".
104
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:42,719
[THEY LAUGH]
105
00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:45,839
Well done, Lord Television.
I'm pretty sure that...
106
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,840
Are you my boss?
107
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:56,600
Will you do it? Will you do
it for us? Go on! Be a mate!
108
00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:02,359
Milk's sour? Not surprised.
109
00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:06,119
But then them cows
are a moody bunch.
110
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:10,120
- Right? That's great, that's genius.
- Oh, thank you, yeah.
111
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:25,360
I've said it before, I'll say
it again. Black tie suits you.
112
00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:30,080
And may I say, Dan,
no-one looks better holding a bin.
113
00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:34,520
[DAN LAUGHS]
114
00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:45,839
Hello, bunny. Get them to sleep OK?
115
00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:49,840
- I couldn't get Billy off that
damn game thing, but, yeah. - Hmm.
116
00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:54,039
Alan Carr was excellent, actually.
What a lovely man.
117
00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:55,959
I always thought you
should be on that show.
118
00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:57,559
I know, darling. You said.
119
00:08:57,560 --> 00:09:01,359
But I don't really... I don't think
people see me that way, do they?
120
00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:07,360
At what point do comics stop being
funny and start being sweet?
121
00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:11,959
Hmm? Even Spike.
They even did it to Spike.
122
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:13,999
They even turned Spike sweet.
123
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,799
And he was an awful shite.
124
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:20,039
You bad woman!
125
00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:24,040
- Anyone else worth talking to?
- Not a soul. Nope.
126
00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,879
I always think after
these events, you know,
127
00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:30,880
and think I made
a total arse of myself.
128
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:34,519
- Well, it was a nice big clap, though.
- Yeah.
129
00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:37,559
It means nothing, though.
That's the Stalin thing, isn't it?
130
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:41,439
No-one wants to be the first
to stop clapping the Old Guard.
131
00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:45,440
- Karl got a bigger one anyway.
- Oh! Be just.
132
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:50,320
I just can't help thinking that
I made an awful fool of myself.
133
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:53,919
And I think that
you've still got whisky
134
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,359
sloshing around in
that gut of yours.
135
00:09:56,360 --> 00:10:00,360
I'll get you a banana,
and then we'll get into bed, OK?
136
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:19,000
[HE SIGHS]
137
00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:30,823
_
138
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:47,679
[CAT MEOWS]
139
00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:49,399
Naughty cat.
140
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:50,959
[CAT PURRS]
141
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:53,960
You know she doesn't
like you up there.
142
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:10,760
[HE SIGHS]
143
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,299
- Good morning, my wee jobbies.
- We watched you on the TV!
144
00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:25,529
Oh, yeah! What did you think?
145
00:11:25,554 --> 00:11:27,423
- You were funny!
- He got all the big laughs.
146
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,759
Grandma laughed loads.
147
00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,039
Yeah?
148
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:32,559
[GAME BEEPS]
149
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:36,560
Good morning, Billy.
150
00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,359
You free today?
151
00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:40,879
I'm dropping these to their dad's
152
00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:42,959
and then I've got
lunch with Anapolis.
153
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:44,919
They might contribute
to the foundation.
154
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,639
Beware Greeks bearing gifts.
155
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:51,140
You say that every time!
They're American.
156
00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:53,559
I always thought mornings
suited you.
157
00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:57,560
- Did I ever tell you that?
- More or less every day.
158
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:02,919
Are you winning at least?
159
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:06,920
- It's not about winning.
- Ah. It's about taking part? Hmm?
160
00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:14,320
So, what's the plan for today?
Morning jog? Lunch in town?
161
00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:16,199
Aerobics classes?
162
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,639
[BUZZER]
163
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:20,239
Mass scientific experiment?
164
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,799
Or are you going to just lounge
around here all day doing nothing...
165
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:25,079
[BUZZER]
166
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,359
...again?
167
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:31,119
I'll get it!
168
00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:33,186
- Mrs Finchley?
- Yes?
169
00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:35,799
My name is DI Palmer,
this is DS Georgeson.
170
00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:37,434
We're here for a word
with your husband.
171
00:12:37,459 --> 00:12:38,399
A word about what?
172
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:41,039
There's been an allegation
of rape made against you.
173
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,159
This is a warrant for
a search of your premises.
174
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,639
Is this some kind of joke?
175
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,399
Grandad?
176
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:51,400
It's all right, buddy.
It's all right, son.
177
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:55,880
Phone Simon.
178
00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,879
Now, what's going on?
179
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,719
We weren't aware your grandchildren
were in the house.
180
00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:03,959
Can your wife arrange
alternative care?
181
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,439
I want to make this as
easy as possible for you.
182
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:10,440
Sorry, um,
you're accusing me of what?
183
00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:24,120
[CAR LOCK BEEPS]
184
00:13:35,653 --> 00:13:37,546
Belt on, if you could.
185
00:14:41,395 --> 00:14:42,328
[DOOR UNLOCKS]
186
00:14:42,380 --> 00:14:44,739
Paul, hi. Jerome.
187
00:14:44,740 --> 00:14:48,419
Simon sent me. Needless to say, it's
an honour to be working with you.
188
00:14:48,420 --> 00:14:49,819
I love your work.
189
00:14:49,820 --> 00:14:51,219
He says you're the best.
190
00:14:51,220 --> 00:14:53,739
Let's hope I grow to love your work.
191
00:14:53,740 --> 00:14:56,899
This is Jimmy Savile. They think
I'm Jimmy-fucking-Savile.
192
00:14:56,900 --> 00:14:58,019
OK, so here's where we are.
193
00:14:58,020 --> 00:15:00,579
No-one liked him. Always kept him
well away from the parties.
194
00:15:00,580 --> 00:15:02,299
He wanted to come.
195
00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:05,659
It was me. I said,
"Fuck, no, no way."
196
00:15:05,660 --> 00:15:07,219
Everybody knew he was dodgy,
197
00:15:07,220 --> 00:15:10,139
everybody, but I'm the one that had
cops outside the house,
198
00:15:10,140 --> 00:15:11,459
my grandchildren inside.
199
00:15:11,460 --> 00:15:14,019
We don't have much time,
so save the bluster and just listen,
200
00:15:14,020 --> 00:15:15,779
if you could.
201
00:15:15,780 --> 00:15:18,259
We don't know what they know
or what they think they know,
202
00:15:18,260 --> 00:15:19,339
but I'll tell you this -
203
00:15:19,340 --> 00:15:22,139
they won't be getting any
clues from our end.
204
00:15:22,140 --> 00:15:23,459
So, say as little as possible.
205
00:15:23,460 --> 00:15:26,339
Clues?
206
00:15:26,340 --> 00:15:29,419
I didn't do this.
207
00:15:29,420 --> 00:15:31,179
Big fan, by the way.
208
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:34,179
Every Christmas,
it's a bit of a tradition,
209
00:15:34,180 --> 00:15:37,699
work through the whole
of Crooked Peaks, all 36 episodes.
210
00:15:37,700 --> 00:15:38,899
Thank you.
211
00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:42,859
Absolutely hilarious.
212
00:15:42,860 --> 00:15:44,659
Was the stutter difficult to do?
213
00:15:44,660 --> 00:15:46,899
POSH ACCENT: Well,
it's not what I went to RADA for.
214
00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:49,739
- And now you've got your own game show.
- Yes.
215
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,219
We call it a quiz.
216
00:15:51,220 --> 00:15:52,819
[BUZZING]
217
00:15:52,820 --> 00:15:56,779
[BEEP]
218
00:15:56,780 --> 00:16:00,499
OK, let's start at the beginning.
219
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:03,419
Full name, please.
220
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:05,499
Paul Thomas Finchley.
221
00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:07,499
And date of birth?
222
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,539
9th of February, 1950.
223
00:16:09,540 --> 00:16:11,139
And you have children.
224
00:16:11,140 --> 00:16:13,379
Yes, a daughter, Danielle. Dee.
225
00:16:13,380 --> 00:16:15,219
And she's had children.
226
00:16:15,220 --> 00:16:18,939
Yes. Billy is 14 and Frances is ten.
227
00:16:18,940 --> 00:16:21,259
- And they live with their father.
- Yes.
228
00:16:21,260 --> 00:16:25,139
Why is that?
229
00:16:25,140 --> 00:16:26,779
Erm...
230
00:16:26,780 --> 00:16:29,139
Dee's had a pretty
rough time recently.
231
00:16:29,140 --> 00:16:31,664
She's in a treatment
centre for addiction.
232
00:16:31,689 --> 00:16:32,779
Halfway house.
233
00:16:32,780 --> 00:16:35,139
- And your parents, they're deceased?
- Yes.
234
00:16:35,140 --> 00:16:36,320
Cillian and Molly Finchley.
235
00:16:36,345 --> 00:16:37,859
- That's right.
- Irish.
236
00:16:38,260 --> 00:16:40,899
Yes. I was born there,
although I was brought up here...
237
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:42,899
Well, in Scotland.
238
00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:46,059
I was reading some press articles
about you and you explained
239
00:16:46,060 --> 00:16:49,619
you wouldn't write an autobiography
because some skeletons
240
00:16:49,620 --> 00:16:51,579
best remain skeletons.
241
00:16:51,580 --> 00:16:55,259
Were you referring to your
father in that instance?
242
00:16:55,260 --> 00:16:57,219
- No, I wouldn't...
- No comment.
243
00:16:57,220 --> 00:17:00,259
Did this refer to sexual abuse?
244
00:17:00,260 --> 00:17:01,659
No comment.
245
00:17:01,660 --> 00:17:05,660
That's unnecessary,
even for a fishing expedition.
246
00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:08,121
So you've been married
41 years, is that right?
247
00:17:08,146 --> 00:17:10,124
- Yes.
- Impressive number.
248
00:17:10,580 --> 00:17:14,139
- And it's been largely happy?
- Extremely.
249
00:17:14,140 --> 00:17:16,419
Tell me about Marie.
250
00:17:16,420 --> 00:17:18,299
Well, she's...
251
00:17:18,300 --> 00:17:20,259
She's kind...
252
00:17:20,260 --> 00:17:24,260
and she's generous
and she's funny...
253
00:17:25,140 --> 00:17:28,899
...and religious...
254
00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:32,900
...and I think she's
the best person I know.
255
00:17:34,340 --> 00:17:37,299
This will break her -
you have no idea.
256
00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:39,219
Have you managed
to stay faithful to Marie?
257
00:17:39,244 --> 00:17:41,179
No comment.
258
00:17:41,180 --> 00:17:44,019
Sexually, would you describe
yourself as a man of average
259
00:17:44,020 --> 00:17:46,139
or... greater than average
sexual habits?
260
00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:48,059
You expect him to know
what average is?
261
00:17:48,060 --> 00:17:50,539
I have absolutely
no idea what average is.
262
00:17:50,540 --> 00:17:54,540
I'd advise you to answer your
questions yourself, Mr Finchley.
263
00:17:54,780 --> 00:17:58,780
I would describe myself as
a man with average sexual appetite.
264
00:17:59,540 --> 00:18:03,339
Are there any sexual practises you
engage in which you think
265
00:18:03,340 --> 00:18:05,220
most people would regard as unusual?
266
00:18:05,253 --> 00:18:06,364
No comment.
267
00:18:08,620 --> 00:18:12,620
OK, so we've had an allegation
from Rebecca Thornton.
268
00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:16,499
Does that name mean anything to you?
269
00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:17,699
No comment.
270
00:18:17,700 --> 00:18:21,539
Rebecca Thornton alleges that,
on the 8th of December, 1993,
271
00:18:21,540 --> 00:18:25,540
you raped her on the film set of
Japes in Bedford.
272
00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:28,697
Can you remember any
details from that night?
273
00:18:28,722 --> 00:18:29,722
No.
274
00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:36,259
Does that face mean anything to you?
275
00:18:36,260 --> 00:18:37,939
It means nothing, sorry.
276
00:18:37,940 --> 00:18:41,940
She must have made a mistake.
277
00:18:44,820 --> 00:18:46,739
Great.
278
00:18:46,740 --> 00:18:49,459
That concludes the interview.
279
00:18:49,460 --> 00:18:51,019
Let's get you bailed, shall we?
280
00:18:51,020 --> 00:18:52,899
I really don't know her, you know.
281
00:18:52,900 --> 00:18:55,419
Paul, no need to say anything more.
282
00:18:55,420 --> 00:18:57,259
Interview terminated at 11:43 am.
283
00:18:57,260 --> 00:19:01,260
You arrested him at 7:48. I make
that three hours and 55 minutes.
284
00:19:03,780 --> 00:19:06,459
I'd say leaving by the back
might be a good idea.
285
00:19:06,460 --> 00:19:10,460
Everyone's a pap with their
smartphones nowadays.
286
00:19:38,540 --> 00:19:40,579
They didn't tidy up after
themselves.
287
00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:42,939
They tried to but they didn't do
a very good job.
288
00:19:42,940 --> 00:19:45,179
I wasn't sure, you know,
cos you had your lunch...
289
00:19:45,180 --> 00:19:48,339
They took my computer as
well as yours.
290
00:19:48,340 --> 00:19:51,139
They took a lot of things, actually.
291
00:19:51,140 --> 00:19:53,939
They showed me some of it.
292
00:19:53,940 --> 00:19:57,940
They shouldn't have, but they did.
293
00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:05,899
Should we have a cup of tea?
294
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:07,419
It could be quite useful.
295
00:20:07,420 --> 00:20:09,699
We could, as we tidy,
turn it into a spring clean.
296
00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:11,419
- Marie...
- Porn on your phone.
297
00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:13,699
Who watches porn on their phone?
298
00:20:13,700 --> 00:20:16,419
Couldn't you get the laptop
open quick enough?
299
00:20:16,420 --> 00:20:19,619
- Marie...
- The questions they asked me...
300
00:20:19,620 --> 00:20:22,419
about you, about us, about... what
we do in the bedroom.
301
00:20:22,420 --> 00:20:24,419
I mean, whatever it is they
think you've done.
302
00:20:24,420 --> 00:20:26,899
Marie, you must listen to me.
I didn't do this.
303
00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:30,219
Can you tell me? I mean, do you know
what else they might find?
304
00:20:30,220 --> 00:20:32,099
There's nothing to find.
305
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:35,139
It's just a desperate woman
being... desperate.
306
00:20:35,140 --> 00:20:39,140
[BIRDS CHIRP]
307
00:20:41,460 --> 00:20:43,819
No.
308
00:20:43,820 --> 00:20:46,179
You're not going up there.
309
00:20:46,180 --> 00:20:47,819
I need to lie down for a bit.
310
00:20:47,820 --> 00:20:51,499
You can lie on the sofa.
311
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:55,500
The times you came home smelling
of whichever woman
312
00:20:56,060 --> 00:20:58,899
and I'd understand.
313
00:20:58,900 --> 00:21:02,299
Well, this is not
one of those times...
314
00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:04,979
It can't be.
315
00:21:04,980 --> 00:21:07,939
- Do you understand?
- Please, Marie.
316
00:21:07,940 --> 00:21:12,940
I would prefer it if you did
not lie on our bed...
317
00:21:13,900 --> 00:21:15,900
...not today.
318
00:22:04,620 --> 00:22:08,620
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH]
319
00:22:44,340 --> 00:22:48,340
[BUZZER]
320
00:23:03,780 --> 00:23:05,419
OK?
321
00:23:05,420 --> 00:23:08,979
Sorry, I'll put that in the stupid
questions drawer.
322
00:23:08,980 --> 00:23:11,179
Let us not speak of it again.
323
00:23:11,180 --> 00:23:13,819
He's in the den.
[HE SIGHS]
324
00:23:13,820 --> 00:23:17,179
Wasn't sure whether to
come round or not.
325
00:23:17,180 --> 00:23:18,699
They interviewed you, too, did they?
326
00:23:18,700 --> 00:23:22,579
Nice-looking black girl - woman.
327
00:23:22,580 --> 00:23:26,580
Yes. Yes, I got her, too.
328
00:23:28,100 --> 00:23:31,259
So, were you there during
any of the alleged?
329
00:23:31,260 --> 00:23:34,419
Apparently not,
but they weren't sure.
330
00:23:34,420 --> 00:23:36,179
Didn't give full details.
331
00:23:36,180 --> 00:23:38,819
I don't think you should give
me full details.
332
00:23:38,820 --> 00:23:41,459
They showed me a photo.
333
00:23:41,460 --> 00:23:43,099
I didn't sleep with her.
334
00:23:43,100 --> 00:23:45,779
I didn't remember her.
335
00:23:45,780 --> 00:23:47,979
Simon says he's sorted you a lawyer.
336
00:23:47,980 --> 00:23:51,980
- Flashy type. Useful though,
I think... I hope. - Hmm.
337
00:23:53,420 --> 00:23:57,420
I fell asleep watching some really
shitty cookery programme
338
00:23:57,500 --> 00:24:00,539
and woke up halfway through
Crooked Peaks.
339
00:24:00,540 --> 00:24:01,819
Which one?
340
00:24:01,820 --> 00:24:04,859
The one where we try to become
members of The Women's Institute.
341
00:24:04,860 --> 00:24:08,699
- Good?
- Dated, but it has some good moments.
342
00:24:08,700 --> 00:24:12,700
[THEY BOTH LAUGH]
343
00:24:14,380 --> 00:24:18,380
Carl, I'm sorry. This hasn't been
good for you either.
344
00:24:18,620 --> 00:24:21,299
It's going to hit residuals hard.
345
00:24:21,300 --> 00:24:23,800
Residuals?
346
00:24:25,620 --> 00:24:29,620
Do you really think I give
a shit about residuals right now?
347
00:24:33,740 --> 00:24:37,740
I'm not sure I can do this.
348
00:24:39,700 --> 00:24:41,419
Come here.
349
00:24:41,420 --> 00:24:45,420
[SOBBING]
I don't think I can do this.
350
00:24:47,342 --> 00:24:48,417
Of course you can.
351
00:24:50,666 --> 00:24:52,231
It will soon be over.
352
00:25:09,420 --> 00:25:12,139
I'm not in the bedroom,
if that's what you're...
353
00:25:12,140 --> 00:25:14,739
No... I just needed some
clean clothes.
354
00:25:14,740 --> 00:25:17,139
I didn't want to disturb you.
355
00:25:17,140 --> 00:25:21,099
If I'm guilty,
I would say I was innocent.
356
00:25:21,100 --> 00:25:24,339
If I'm innocent,
I would say I'm innocent.
357
00:25:24,340 --> 00:25:25,819
[HE SIGHS]
358
00:25:25,820 --> 00:25:27,659
I don't know what to say.
359
00:25:27,660 --> 00:25:31,459
There's nothing to say.
360
00:25:31,460 --> 00:25:33,939
It's not going to cheap this,
you know that.
361
00:25:33,940 --> 00:25:36,440
Well, we spend whatever
it takes to get you off, don't we?
362
00:25:36,465 --> 00:25:37,964
Do we?
363
00:25:43,020 --> 00:25:46,939
I know I've not treated you
well at times...
364
00:25:46,940 --> 00:25:50,940
but you must know I didn't do this.
365
00:25:55,300 --> 00:25:59,300
I believe you.
366
00:26:08,140 --> 00:26:11,140
[BUZZER]
367
00:26:12,700 --> 00:26:15,419
[BUZZER CONTINUES]
368
00:26:15,420 --> 00:26:17,420
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Yes.
369
00:26:19,980 --> 00:26:21,259
They fucked us.
370
00:26:21,260 --> 00:26:22,459
Smartphone pap bollocks.
371
00:26:22,460 --> 00:26:25,139
- They knew. They fucking knew!
- What?
372
00:26:25,140 --> 00:26:26,619
Telling us to leave around the back.
373
00:26:26,620 --> 00:26:29,499
Apparently, they had local press
there on an unrelated matter.
374
00:26:29,500 --> 00:26:30,779
Cunts.
375
00:26:30,780 --> 00:26:33,379
Look, I tried calling. You need to
leave your phone on from now on.
376
00:26:33,380 --> 00:26:34,459
I was asleep.
377
00:26:34,460 --> 00:26:37,059
Well, I wanted to get here before
the reporters did.
378
00:26:37,060 --> 00:26:38,299
Now everyone will know.
_
379
00:26:38,300 --> 00:26:40,499
Well, they were going to find out
sooner or later.
380
00:26:40,500 --> 00:26:42,219
But don't worry, I'll fuck them back.
381
00:26:42,220 --> 00:26:45,979
Good to meet you, Marie.
382
00:26:45,980 --> 00:26:48,900
Why? Why would they do this?
383
00:26:49,155 --> 00:26:50,155
Fishing.
384
00:26:50,260 --> 00:26:51,739
They're fishing...
385
00:26:51,740 --> 00:26:55,740
to see if anyone else comes forward.
386
00:26:55,795 --> 00:26:57,608
They're testing you, Paul.
387
00:26:59,982 --> 00:27:01,928
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
388
00:27:02,844 --> 00:27:05,262
[CLICKING OF CAMERAS]
389
00:27:05,330 --> 00:27:08,329
I am...
390
00:27:08,330 --> 00:27:12,249
I am unprepared to respond
to these allegations.
391
00:27:12,250 --> 00:27:16,250
But I will say that I am fully
cooperating with the police
392
00:27:17,130 --> 00:27:21,049
and I am innocent.
393
00:27:21,050 --> 00:27:22,649
Of course I am.
394
00:27:22,650 --> 00:27:24,209
Obviously...
395
00:27:24,210 --> 00:27:27,489
I would like some privacy
at this difficult time.
396
00:27:27,490 --> 00:27:30,609
I recognise that that's very
unlikely to happen,
397
00:27:30,610 --> 00:27:34,910
but my family are not,
and have chosen not,
398
00:27:35,330 --> 00:27:38,489
to be part of the public world.
399
00:27:38,490 --> 00:27:42,289
[SPEECH BECOMES INDISTINCT]
400
00:27:42,290 --> 00:27:45,129
[SHE SIGHS]
401
00:27:45,130 --> 00:27:49,130
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
402
00:27:58,450 --> 00:28:00,409
Thanks for coping with all that.
403
00:28:00,410 --> 00:28:03,410
Already started to run the meter.
404
00:28:09,450 --> 00:28:12,729
Hail Mary full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
405
00:28:12,730 --> 00:28:15,769
Blessed art thou amongst women
and blessed is the fruit
406
00:28:15,770 --> 00:28:18,929
of thy womb, Jesus.
407
00:28:18,930 --> 00:28:20,809
Holy Mary, mother of God,
408
00:28:20,810 --> 00:28:24,810
pray for us sinners now
and at the hour of our death, amen.
409
00:28:28,106 --> 00:28:30,320
You've done something with
your hair.
410
00:28:30,660 --> 00:28:32,699
Not sure I have.
411
00:28:32,700 --> 00:28:35,219
I'm not sure you have either.
412
00:28:35,220 --> 00:28:36,979
Force of habit.
413
00:28:36,980 --> 00:28:40,059
In my life surrounded by women,
it's always safer to say you've
414
00:28:40,060 --> 00:28:43,208
done something with your hair
because, generally, they have.
415
00:28:43,253 --> 00:28:44,413
Not that there is anything...
416
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:49,536
One, two, three, four, five, six.
417
00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:53,090
How are you?
418
00:28:58,740 --> 00:29:00,019
Still getting the cheques?
419
00:29:00,020 --> 00:29:04,020
It's a bank transfer, Dad, so I'm
pretty much guaranteed to get them.
420
00:29:05,100 --> 00:29:06,459
This stuff in the papers...
421
00:29:06,460 --> 00:29:07,699
What stuff's that?
422
00:29:07,700 --> 00:29:08,939
What, you've not seen it?
423
00:29:08,940 --> 00:29:11,939
Of course I've seen it.
424
00:29:11,940 --> 00:29:14,099
I was just wondering
whether you'd mention it or not.
425
00:29:14,100 --> 00:29:16,499
You don't think they've been here?
426
00:29:16,500 --> 00:29:18,299
You just say, "No comment."
427
00:29:18,300 --> 00:29:19,899
Yeah, yeah, I know.
428
00:29:19,900 --> 00:29:21,259
Yeah, and I know.
429
00:29:21,260 --> 00:29:22,779
It's going to be hard for you.
430
00:29:22,780 --> 00:29:25,779
So I'm just here to say
I support you.
431
00:29:25,780 --> 00:29:27,499
Oh, that's moving, Dad.
432
00:29:27,500 --> 00:29:30,019
Thank you.
433
00:29:30,020 --> 00:29:32,899
We have Billy and Frances over for
the bank holiday, did you know?
434
00:29:32,900 --> 00:29:34,419
Yep.
435
00:29:34,420 --> 00:29:36,939
I think they only come to us cos
we give them more chocolate
436
00:29:36,940 --> 00:29:38,099
than their dad.
437
00:29:38,100 --> 00:29:40,139
You let Frances eat chocolate?
438
00:29:40,140 --> 00:29:41,339
Well, shouldn't I?
439
00:29:41,340 --> 00:29:44,219
Well, I always remember you giving
me a look when I ate it.
440
00:29:44,220 --> 00:29:46,099
She's as skinny as a rake, that girl,
441
00:29:46,100 --> 00:29:48,139
she could do with some
flesh on her bones.
442
00:29:48,140 --> 00:29:50,019
Well,
that's an interesting thing to say.
443
00:29:50,020 --> 00:29:51,179
Is it?
444
00:29:51,180 --> 00:29:54,219
Ideas of a female shape that
neither me or my daughter,
445
00:29:54,220 --> 00:29:56,779
according to you, conform to.
446
00:29:56,780 --> 00:29:59,480
Isn't that interesting?
447
00:30:02,660 --> 00:30:04,899
Ooh, look.
448
00:30:04,900 --> 00:30:06,299
Do you remember this?
449
00:30:06,300 --> 00:30:08,939
Christ, we're not doing
"Do you remember when", are we?
450
00:30:08,940 --> 00:30:11,819
No, Sheffield, 1991.
451
00:30:11,820 --> 00:30:13,299
That Bill Forsyth film.
452
00:30:13,300 --> 00:30:15,939
You and your mum came up for
the whole winter.
453
00:30:15,940 --> 00:30:19,019
You won a competition when
you were up there.
454
00:30:19,020 --> 00:30:22,699
Some youth talent thingy
and you sang...
455
00:30:22,700 --> 00:30:23,819
Oh, I can't remember now.
456
00:30:23,820 --> 00:30:26,979
Really?
I can't remember any of it.
457
00:30:26,980 --> 00:30:28,659
Well, what's it doing there then?
458
00:30:28,660 --> 00:30:29,819
Mum put the photo up.
459
00:30:29,820 --> 00:30:33,320
She said it was a happy time
and I believed her.
460
00:30:34,460 --> 00:30:36,939
You were a lovely wee thing then,
you know?
461
00:30:36,940 --> 00:30:39,339
Yeah, I remember you telling
me that.
462
00:30:39,340 --> 00:30:41,180
You told me that quite a lot.
463
00:30:41,451 --> 00:30:43,005
Yes.
464
00:30:44,457 --> 00:30:47,188
Mum says you've been visited
by a priest.
465
00:30:48,605 --> 00:30:50,400
He didn't just randomly turn up.
466
00:30:50,468 --> 00:30:51,579
I invited him.
467
00:30:51,580 --> 00:30:53,579
Right. Why?
468
00:30:53,580 --> 00:30:56,059
I wanted to see if I could
suck his cock.
469
00:30:56,060 --> 00:30:57,699
No, you didn't.
470
00:30:57,700 --> 00:30:59,059
Why?
471
00:30:59,060 --> 00:31:03,019
I had this theory that maybe he
might be able to save me from hell.
472
00:31:03,020 --> 00:31:04,179
I've been having this dream.
473
00:31:04,180 --> 00:31:07,139
- You're in it.
- Right.
474
00:31:07,140 --> 00:31:10,139
You're not sure whether to be
pleased or scared, are you?
475
00:31:10,140 --> 00:31:11,899
Well, it's important
for you to tell me.
476
00:31:11,900 --> 00:31:13,339
It's important for me to listen.
477
00:31:13,340 --> 00:31:15,379
You've been listening in therapy,
I'm impressed.
478
00:31:15,380 --> 00:31:17,260
We're by a lake,
we're having a picnic.
479
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:18,320
What lake?
480
00:31:20,220 --> 00:31:21,539
Does that matter?
481
00:31:21,540 --> 00:31:25,099
Well, yes, I want identify if it's
a lake we've been to or been near.
482
00:31:25,100 --> 00:31:26,539
You know, what with your memory.
483
00:31:26,540 --> 00:31:28,259
Yeah, well,
I don't think it's historical.
484
00:31:28,260 --> 00:31:29,499
It me, you, Dave and the kids.
485
00:31:29,500 --> 00:31:32,059
I don't think we ever took a trip to
a lake with the full family.
486
00:31:32,060 --> 00:31:33,619
My mum made a picnic.
487
00:31:33,620 --> 00:31:35,099
Definitely not Dave.
488
00:31:35,100 --> 00:31:37,299
- It's interesting that he's there.
- Not really.
489
00:31:37,300 --> 00:31:39,419
It's quite a big picnic.
490
00:31:39,420 --> 00:31:40,899
And I think she baked the bread.
491
00:31:40,900 --> 00:31:42,979
She's like really gone all out,
you know?
492
00:31:42,980 --> 00:31:45,499
Just, like, two sandwiches with
tomato bread and everybody was
493
00:31:45,500 --> 00:31:47,339
making too much of
a fuss about them.
494
00:31:47,340 --> 00:31:49,339
Interesting,
we've just got a new bread-maker.
495
00:31:49,340 --> 00:31:51,379
She's been making some very
strange combinations.
496
00:31:51,380 --> 00:31:54,459
One, two, three,
497
00:31:54,460 --> 00:31:58,460
four, five, six.
498
00:32:01,140 --> 00:32:05,140
Anyway, you and the kids went off
for an explore and we all lay back,
499
00:32:05,180 --> 00:32:08,139
sunny day, and Dave took his top.
500
00:32:08,140 --> 00:32:10,180
And I said he shouldn't in front
of mum and he said,
501
00:32:11,211 --> 00:32:12,971
"She doesn't mind, do you, Marie?"
502
00:32:13,017 --> 00:32:14,251
And winked.
503
00:32:14,700 --> 00:32:16,660
And she said nothing.
504
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:19,074
And so I took my top off.
505
00:32:20,182 --> 00:32:21,794
Top and bra.
506
00:32:22,700 --> 00:32:26,700
And he was pissed off
but he said nothing.
507
00:32:27,340 --> 00:32:31,340
And then you came back with the kids
and I put my top back on.
508
00:32:32,460 --> 00:32:34,539
But left off my bra.
509
00:32:34,540 --> 00:32:38,419
And you had this stone that you'd
found in the stream
510
00:32:38,420 --> 00:32:40,419
and you were fucking proud
of this stone.
511
00:32:40,420 --> 00:32:41,619
What kind of stone?
512
00:32:41,620 --> 00:32:43,179
It was quite special, actually.
513
00:32:43,180 --> 00:32:46,539
It was almost perfectly black.
514
00:32:46,540 --> 00:32:48,899
And everybody admired it.
515
00:32:48,900 --> 00:32:52,900
And you said you thought it was the
hardest stone you'd ever felt.
516
00:32:53,900 --> 00:32:55,619
But Dave wasn't having that.
517
00:32:55,620 --> 00:32:58,620
He said, "All stones are hard,
Paul, they're stones."
518
00:33:00,220 --> 00:33:02,619
And then you started talking about
how some stones are in fact
519
00:33:02,620 --> 00:33:06,619
softer than others
and not just chalk.
520
00:33:06,620 --> 00:33:09,539
You know, for a woman who claims
to recollect nothing,
521
00:33:09,540 --> 00:33:13,540
these are an impressive set of
memories, do you know that?
522
00:33:14,060 --> 00:33:16,619
And then the argument got more
and more heated and then,
523
00:33:16,620 --> 00:33:18,699
finally,
to prove how hard the stone was,
524
00:33:18,700 --> 00:33:22,700
you just smacked him around
the head with it.
525
00:33:24,180 --> 00:33:27,099
And he fell to the floor...
526
00:33:27,100 --> 00:33:30,539
...bleeding.
527
00:33:30,540 --> 00:33:34,299
And you just stared at him.
528
00:33:34,300 --> 00:33:38,300
And then you looked at me
and then down at my tits.
529
00:33:39,740 --> 00:33:42,059
And I hadn't...
530
00:33:42,060 --> 00:33:46,060
put my bra back on.
531
00:33:51,780 --> 00:33:55,780
And I knew my nipples
were hard and you said...
532
00:33:56,860 --> 00:33:59,499
"Well, I better hit him again.
533
00:33:59,500 --> 00:34:02,500
"Otherwise he'll report it,
won't he?"
534
00:34:03,740 --> 00:34:07,740
And you told Mum to take the kids
away but they wanted to stay.
535
00:34:08,860 --> 00:34:12,860
And you must have clobbered
Dave six or seven times.
536
00:34:14,420 --> 00:34:19,620
Then you stopped and said, "Nobody
must ever know what happened here."
537
00:34:22,900 --> 00:34:25,600
And we all made a vow of secrecy.
538
00:34:30,100 --> 00:34:31,179
[SHE SIGHS]
539
00:34:31,180 --> 00:34:33,179
What do you think that all
means, then?
540
00:34:33,180 --> 00:34:35,099
Have you spoken to your
doctors about it?
541
00:34:35,100 --> 00:34:36,299
Nope.
542
00:34:36,300 --> 00:34:38,019
Just the priest.
543
00:34:38,020 --> 00:34:40,139
And what did the priest have
to say about it?
544
00:34:40,140 --> 00:34:41,819
That's when he let me blow him.
545
00:34:41,820 --> 00:34:43,939
- Oh, Danielle.
- What?
546
00:34:43,940 --> 00:34:46,699
"Is she joking, is she not? Isn't it
dangerous when they never know
547
00:34:46,700 --> 00:34:50,700
"whether she sucked
the dick of a priest?"
548
00:34:53,500 --> 00:34:57,299
He said that he didn't think
that I should see you.
549
00:34:57,300 --> 00:35:01,300
And he said not to let you in the
next time that you came.
550
00:35:01,660 --> 00:35:03,780
I would never hurt you...
551
00:35:04,091 --> 00:35:05,634
or Dave...
552
00:35:06,220 --> 00:35:08,059
...or any of my family.
553
00:35:08,060 --> 00:35:09,339
You know.
554
00:35:09,340 --> 00:35:13,340
You know that.
555
00:35:17,660 --> 00:35:21,059
You realise I'm about to be dragged
through hell, don't you?
556
00:35:21,060 --> 00:35:24,779
Aren't we all?
557
00:35:24,780 --> 00:35:27,939
Don't you have the slightest
bit of sympathy?
558
00:35:27,940 --> 00:35:30,179
I thought you came around
here to support me,
559
00:35:30,180 --> 00:35:31,499
not for my sympathy.
560
00:35:31,500 --> 00:35:33,219
I mean, I'm quoting you there.
561
00:35:33,220 --> 00:35:36,219
Well, whatever I came round here
for, clearly it was a mistake.
562
00:35:36,220 --> 00:35:38,019
Yeah.
563
00:35:40,020 --> 00:35:42,020
Yeah, it probably was.
564
00:35:45,140 --> 00:35:47,140
Then I'll go.
565
00:35:53,700 --> 00:35:56,339
I am worried about you.
566
00:35:56,340 --> 00:35:59,340
I'm worried about everything.
567
00:36:05,820 --> 00:36:07,419
Whatever anyone says...
568
00:36:07,420 --> 00:36:09,419
You haven't told
me it's bullshit yet.
569
00:36:09,420 --> 00:36:12,179
Of course it fucking is.
570
00:36:12,180 --> 00:36:14,859
I don't know what you want
me to say.
571
00:36:14,860 --> 00:36:17,099
But I want you to know there's
a big part of me that wants
572
00:36:17,100 --> 00:36:19,100
me to say it.
573
00:36:21,260 --> 00:36:23,260
OK.
574
00:36:30,660 --> 00:36:34,660
[MOTORBIKE REVS]
575
00:36:57,340 --> 00:37:01,340
[CHILDREN SING]
576
00:37:24,940 --> 00:37:26,419
Hi, it's me.
577
00:37:26,420 --> 00:37:27,899
Yeah.
578
00:37:27,900 --> 00:37:30,739
Well, I'm speaking from a phone box,
believe it or not.
579
00:37:30,740 --> 00:37:32,899
Mm-hm.
580
00:37:32,900 --> 00:37:34,900
Can I trust you?
581
00:37:38,571 --> 00:37:40,388
The full night.
582
00:37:44,420 --> 00:37:47,460
Do you know, the thing I envy most
about the beautiful woman
583
00:37:47,771 --> 00:37:49,337
is the curve of the spine.
584
00:37:49,382 --> 00:37:50,525
[LIGHTER CLICKS]
585
00:37:50,605 --> 00:37:54,480
And the tragedy of a beautiful
woman is that that curve fades.
586
00:37:54,537 --> 00:37:55,739
[CIGARETTE CRACKLES]
587
00:37:55,740 --> 00:37:58,419
It doesn't disappear,
but it does... fade.
588
00:37:58,420 --> 00:38:00,659
[PERSON EXHALES]
589
00:38:00,660 --> 00:38:03,619
Marie tried very hard.
590
00:38:03,620 --> 00:38:07,339
She was a beautiful woman.
591
00:38:07,340 --> 00:38:11,340
She was a very beautiful woman.
592
00:38:11,380 --> 00:38:13,259
[BOTTLE TOP RATTLES]
593
00:38:13,260 --> 00:38:17,219
Of course, the tragedy of being
a man is that we're never beautiful.
594
00:38:17,220 --> 00:38:21,220
But at least
there's no beauty to fade.
595
00:38:21,740 --> 00:38:25,740
I mean, I know there's handsome men,
but beautiful, pff...
596
00:38:28,980 --> 00:38:32,899
I'm not saying that I am...
597
00:38:32,900 --> 00:38:36,379
I always thought
I was rather funny looking.
598
00:38:36,380 --> 00:38:38,179
Distinguished.
599
00:38:38,180 --> 00:38:42,019
You look distinguished.
600
00:38:42,020 --> 00:38:46,020
You could make money, you know.
Now that I'm...
601
00:38:46,420 --> 00:38:49,619
- You can make money out of me.
- I won't.
602
00:38:49,620 --> 00:38:51,699
Why not?
603
00:38:51,700 --> 00:38:55,339
- Because I don't want the attention.
- I like that.
604
00:38:55,340 --> 00:38:58,059
You're not pretending it's out of
some affection for me.
605
00:38:58,060 --> 00:38:59,499
I do like that.
606
00:38:59,500 --> 00:39:03,500
I have some affection for you,
but it's not my reason.
607
00:39:11,540 --> 00:39:13,540
DRIVER: D'you do it?
608
00:39:15,620 --> 00:39:17,620
You do it?!
609
00:39:20,140 --> 00:39:22,140
No.
610
00:39:32,660 --> 00:39:34,899
Sorry, I didn't think...
I thought we'd cancelled.
611
00:39:34,900 --> 00:39:37,719
-No.
- No?
612
00:39:37,720 --> 00:39:39,959
- No.
- Shit. Sorry.
613
00:39:40,460 --> 00:39:42,339
Oh. Hello, Karl.
614
00:39:42,340 --> 00:39:44,640
So I get the accusations,
and he gets the airtime. Hm?
615
00:39:44,684 --> 00:39:46,584
_
616
00:39:46,660 --> 00:39:48,859
First things first,
I want you to know
617
00:39:48,860 --> 00:39:50,419
there is no truth to any of this...
618
00:39:50,420 --> 00:39:52,979
Our first concern, Paul,
is to check that you're OK.
619
00:39:52,980 --> 00:39:55,139
Well, I'm fine,
but I'd like you to ignore -
620
00:39:55,140 --> 00:39:56,899
I'm asking you to ignore -
621
00:39:56,900 --> 00:39:59,019
all the shite they're writing
about me in the papers.
622
00:39:59,020 --> 00:40:01,819
It's simply the local constabulary
flexing its arms.
623
00:40:01,820 --> 00:40:04,139
Yeah, it's just background noise
as far as I'm concerned.
624
00:40:04,140 --> 00:40:06,619
It's just... yeah,
I'm not an audience.
625
00:40:06,620 --> 00:40:09,739
- So this is assurance that...
- Simon, Simon.
626
00:40:09,740 --> 00:40:11,779
Listen, I know
in the audience's eyes
627
00:40:11,780 --> 00:40:13,259
this might be slightly different,
628
00:40:13,260 --> 00:40:16,459
but I reckon I could do
a Deayton or a Ross on this one.
629
00:40:16,460 --> 00:40:19,299
You know?
Brazen it out, turn it into a joke.
630
00:40:19,300 --> 00:40:20,819
I'm not sure what the joke would be,
631
00:40:20,820 --> 00:40:23,659
but we could hammer that out
with the writers.
632
00:40:23,660 --> 00:40:27,660
After all... a country where you're
innocent until proven guilty.
633
00:40:29,100 --> 00:40:31,219
Well, we very much agree
with that last statement.
634
00:40:31,220 --> 00:40:34,339
- The trouble is - if I can cut in, Tom.
- Of course.
635
00:40:34,340 --> 00:40:37,779
This isn't like Angus Deayton
or Jonathan Ross.
636
00:40:37,780 --> 00:40:41,699
Deayton was cocaine and prostitutes,
and Ross was...
637
00:40:41,700 --> 00:40:42,790
Bad judgment.
638
00:40:42,815 --> 00:40:44,459
They were a bit...
They made a mistake.
639
00:40:44,460 --> 00:40:46,659
A mistake they admitted to.
640
00:40:46,660 --> 00:40:49,779
And in both cases, you're talking
about late-night comedy shows,
641
00:40:49,780 --> 00:40:52,179
not Smuggle, a late-afternoon quiz,
642
00:40:52,180 --> 00:40:55,899
which, whilst occasionally funny,
has a very different audience.
643
00:40:55,900 --> 00:40:59,619
I can see why you hired him.
Very smart.
644
00:40:59,620 --> 00:41:00,859
So the show is off-air?
645
00:41:00,860 --> 00:41:04,459
Actually, we're thinking of
bringing in a temporary replacement.
646
00:41:04,460 --> 00:41:07,059
Someone to guide Smuggle in
your temporary absence.
647
00:41:07,060 --> 00:41:09,739
Right. Clever.
Who're you thinking of?
648
00:41:09,740 --> 00:41:12,819
- We're sounding out a few people.
- You're not going to say?
649
00:41:12,820 --> 00:41:16,820
Not until we hear from them.
650
00:41:19,100 --> 00:41:22,100
Well... so long as the
show survives unscathed.
651
00:41:22,125 --> 00:41:23,224
Yes.
652
00:41:25,060 --> 00:41:28,099
A lot of good crew working
on Smuggle, you know.
653
00:41:28,100 --> 00:41:30,259
They should be protected.
654
00:41:30,260 --> 00:41:34,260
It's just someone to keep your seat
warm until you come back.
655
00:41:35,380 --> 00:41:38,419
Right.
656
00:41:38,420 --> 00:41:39,920
[DOOR SHUTS]
657
00:41:43,180 --> 00:41:45,180
Hello, Marie.
658
00:41:48,100 --> 00:41:50,979
Part of me thought
you'd killed yourself.
659
00:41:50,980 --> 00:41:53,779
I mean, I must have called you
a hundred times...
660
00:41:53,780 --> 00:41:57,299
The press were calling me every
two minutes - my battery went flat.
661
00:41:57,300 --> 00:41:59,899
I went into a shop to charge it
but they recognised me.
662
00:41:59,900 --> 00:42:00,979
You didn't...?
663
00:42:00,980 --> 00:42:03,619
It didn't occur to you
to let me know where you were?
664
00:42:03,620 --> 00:42:07,120
I thought they might be
bugging my line.
665
00:42:08,900 --> 00:42:11,539
- I just wanted to escape.
- Where did you go?
666
00:42:11,540 --> 00:42:15,379
I was getting very angry
and... and ugly.
667
00:42:15,380 --> 00:42:18,619
- And I thought it best to be in my...
- Where did you go?
668
00:42:18,620 --> 00:42:21,379
- I visited Dee.
- Yes.
669
00:42:21,380 --> 00:42:25,380
I know you visited Dee. And then?
670
00:42:25,740 --> 00:42:28,699
And then I went to the channel
to discuss implications about...
671
00:42:28,700 --> 00:42:32,700
You went to a meeting
at Channel fucking 4?
672
00:42:36,220 --> 00:42:40,220
And in between
I spent the night with somebody.
673
00:42:46,660 --> 00:42:47,660
Oh.
674
00:42:53,140 --> 00:42:57,140
I'm sorry.
675
00:42:58,100 --> 00:43:01,899
About which bit?
676
00:43:01,900 --> 00:43:03,899
Your Jerome called.
677
00:43:03,900 --> 00:43:05,899
He wants you at the office.
He wants us both there.
678
00:43:05,900 --> 00:43:09,139
Maybe time for a shower.
It sounded urgent, so...
679
00:43:09,140 --> 00:43:11,140
let's just get it done, shall we?
680
00:43:11,150 --> 00:43:12,406
_
681
00:43:12,407 --> 00:43:14,901
_
682
00:43:14,902 --> 00:43:16,291
_
683
00:43:16,292 --> 00:43:18,398
_
684
00:43:18,399 --> 00:43:19,935
_
685
00:43:19,936 --> 00:43:21,322
_
686
00:43:21,328 --> 00:43:23,038
_
687
00:43:23,039 --> 00:43:25,234
_
688
00:43:41,060 --> 00:43:44,899
Paul, Marie, this is Gerry.
He's an ex-detective sergeant.
689
00:43:44,900 --> 00:43:47,259
- He's going to be working with us.
- Is he?
690
00:43:47,260 --> 00:43:50,019
Always useful to have
an ex-cop around.
691
00:43:50,020 --> 00:43:53,059
Well, I'm a useful insider -
that's what I like to say.
692
00:43:53,060 --> 00:43:54,779
- He's good.
- Great.
693
00:43:54,780 --> 00:43:56,699
I've got to say,
really don't approve of
694
00:43:56,700 --> 00:43:59,619
the stunt they pulled with
the photograph. Really unnecessary.
695
00:43:59,620 --> 00:44:01,139
Though it has worked.
696
00:44:01,140 --> 00:44:03,499
OK, so, we're going to need to
speak frankly.
697
00:44:03,500 --> 00:44:06,299
Marie, maybe want to step outside
and we'll bring you in later?
698
00:44:06,300 --> 00:44:07,899
- I'd rather not.
- Paul?
699
00:44:07,900 --> 00:44:10,939
There's very little my husband's
done I've not been aware of.
700
00:44:10,940 --> 00:44:13,539
- His affairs have not been subtle.
- Fine.
701
00:44:13,540 --> 00:44:15,579
The search of the house,
we can deal with,
702
00:44:15,580 --> 00:44:16,979
the computer is still in the labs,
703
00:44:16,980 --> 00:44:19,499
but they previewed the porn
you had watched on your phone.
704
00:44:19,500 --> 00:44:20,779
Quite violent.
705
00:44:20,780 --> 00:44:22,739
Nothing too extraordinary -
I've seen worse.
706
00:44:22,740 --> 00:44:24,219
But I wish you'd forewarned me,
707
00:44:24,220 --> 00:44:27,339
and they found quite considerable
evidence of infidelity again -
708
00:44:27,340 --> 00:44:28,659
nothing truly extraordinary.
709
00:44:28,660 --> 00:44:32,219
Well, you put it around a bit.
You're famous.
710
00:44:32,220 --> 00:44:34,259
Juries don't like it, mind you.
711
00:44:34,260 --> 00:44:37,019
Particularly if you presented
yourself as a family man.
712
00:44:37,020 --> 00:44:39,419
There are two things
which are trickier.
713
00:44:39,420 --> 00:44:41,699
One, the photos have had an effect.
714
00:44:41,700 --> 00:44:44,539
Seven women now have come forward.
715
00:44:44,540 --> 00:44:46,779
- Seven?!
- That's a pretty typical number.
716
00:44:46,780 --> 00:44:48,219
Nothing to be too concerned about.
717
00:44:48,220 --> 00:44:49,340
- They could be...
- I'm not a...
718
00:44:49,365 --> 00:44:50,299
...fame-seekers,
719
00:44:50,300 --> 00:44:51,619
they could be money-seekers,
720
00:44:51,620 --> 00:44:54,899
they could have convinced themselves
it's true.
721
00:44:54,900 --> 00:44:56,619
Or it could be true.
722
00:44:56,620 --> 00:44:58,859
The one we're worried about
is this girl.
723
00:44:58,860 --> 00:45:01,699
- Christina Farnborough.
- She was our babysitter.
724
00:45:01,700 --> 00:45:04,659
- The claim is sexual assault, not rape.
- This is nonsense.
725
00:45:04,660 --> 00:45:08,099
Multiple claims. Some in a car.
726
00:45:08,100 --> 00:45:11,339
One attack, she says,
happened inside your home.
727
00:45:11,340 --> 00:45:13,339
With your daughter upstairs.
728
00:45:13,340 --> 00:45:15,579
- Christina was 15.
- They're saying you're a paedophile.
729
00:45:15,580 --> 00:45:18,099
It's just a... girl.
This is horse shit.
730
00:45:18,100 --> 00:45:20,859
We've been asked to bring you in
again, and we have agreed to do so.
731
00:45:20,860 --> 00:45:23,979
So we have an hour, and in
that hour I want to know everything.
732
00:45:23,980 --> 00:45:25,099
You understand?
733
00:45:25,100 --> 00:45:27,699
Because we won't hear what they've
got for a long, long time.
734
00:45:27,700 --> 00:45:31,059
Until then, we want advantage.
735
00:45:31,060 --> 00:45:33,699
So, let's start at the beginning,
shall we?
736
00:45:33,700 --> 00:45:37,700
[ETHEREAL MUSIC]
737
00:45:50,220 --> 00:45:53,245
They think I'm Jimmy fucking Savile.
738
00:46:23,499 --> 00:46:25,633
Synced and corrected by benaddicted
www.addic7ed.com
55592
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