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1
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VISIT TO A SMALL PLANET
2
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And in remote outer
reaches of the universe,
3
00:01:20,731 --> 00:01:22,831
past civilizations as we know it,
4
00:01:22,832 --> 00:01:25,732
is a galactic system called, the Milky Way.
5
00:01:26,433 --> 00:01:28,433
Now this minor galaxy
6
00:01:28,434 --> 00:01:30,734
contains in its backwards area.
7
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A rather piddling star
8
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known as: The Sun.
9
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With a really pitiful array of planets.
10
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So much for our lesson in space geography.
11
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And I hope you all took notes.
12
00:01:44,340 --> 00:01:47,440
They'll be a test first thing
in the century, now then...
13
00:01:50,441 --> 00:01:51,441
Where is he?
14
00:01:52,742 --> 00:01:55,142
Well, speak up. Where is Kreton?
15
00:01:55,143 --> 00:01:58,143
During recess, I saw him
kick the ball over Cloud 9.
16
00:01:58,144 --> 00:01:59,344
On purpose.
17
00:01:59,345 --> 00:02:01,645
He said he'll be right back Mr. Delton.
18
00:02:01,646 --> 00:02:02,846
He better be.
19
00:02:04,147 --> 00:02:05,947
I wonder if he's headed...
20
00:02:06,515 --> 00:02:09,581
There again! Oh, no.
21
00:02:28,049 --> 00:02:29,899
That's Kreton, all right.
22
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,749
Goofiest driver in the whole school.
23
00:02:32,150 --> 00:02:33,681
Kreton.
24
00:02:33,784 --> 00:02:36,135
Uh-uh, mustn't touch.
25
00:02:47,951 --> 00:02:50,551
Let's go buster, back
here where you belong.
26
00:03:01,052 --> 00:03:03,152
- It's him.
- It's he.
27
00:03:07,453 --> 00:03:11,153
All right young man, I know
you're there, come out.
28
00:03:11,154 --> 00:03:12,454
Why don't you come in?
29
00:03:12,455 --> 00:03:15,155
Because I'm the teacher
and I said, come out.
30
00:03:15,156 --> 00:03:17,456
Well, I did mean any harm, Mr. Delton.
31
00:03:17,457 --> 00:03:19,357
You see, Mr. Delton? I found my ball.
32
00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:22,158
- I'll get it.
- Oh, no you don't.
33
00:03:22,659 --> 00:03:27,159
Young man, you and I are going to have
a little heart to heart talk.
34
00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:28,860
Back to your seats all of you.
35
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:30,409
Not you.
36
00:03:31,262 --> 00:03:32,562
Now then…
37
00:03:32,563 --> 00:03:35,513
you know perfectly well
you've been forbidden to visit,
38
00:03:35,514 --> 00:03:38,463
that odious little planetoid
in the solar system.
39
00:03:38,464 --> 00:03:40,764
But Mr. Delton, earth isn't a planetoid,
40
00:03:40,765 --> 00:03:43,965
it's a full grown planet, it has
six continents, five oceans, 2 moons...
41
00:03:43,966 --> 00:03:45,666
- One moon.
- One moon?
42
00:03:46,067 --> 00:03:48,067
Well, anyhow, it's my hobby,
43
00:03:48,068 --> 00:03:50,868
you see, as I calculate,
right now down there,
44
00:03:50,869 --> 00:03:53,269
they're having a very interesting
period: The civil war.
45
00:03:53,270 --> 00:03:55,671
Well gee whiz, Mr. Dalton.
Every guy should have a hobby.
46
00:03:55,672 --> 00:03:57,272
Not in your case.
47
00:03:57,273 --> 00:03:59,473
Remember Mars, your last hobby?
48
00:03:59,474 --> 00:04:01,674
We should have never let
you set foot on the place.
49
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:03,675
Bare, barren, desolate.
50
00:04:03,676 --> 00:04:05,176
Nobody goes there anymore.
51
00:04:05,372 --> 00:04:06,499
No...
52
00:04:06,749 --> 00:04:08,377
Say, maybe if they put
a gambling...
53
00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:09,778
Nothing would help.
54
00:04:09,779 --> 00:04:12,679
Thanks to your thoughtlessness,
Mars is a dead planet.
55
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:13,656
What good is it?
56
00:04:13,659 --> 00:04:14,024
Well, you could...
57
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:17,281
Now Kreton, I want write:
58
00:04:17,282 --> 00:04:21,582
"I will not visit the earth",
10 billion times.
59
00:04:21,583 --> 00:04:23,283
Stay after school a bit, if necessary.
60
00:04:24,924 --> 00:04:26,884
But Mr. Delton, I got
a date with the fellas,
61
00:04:26,885 --> 00:04:28,584
to go space skiing.
62
00:04:28,585 --> 00:04:30,585
I got wax on my feet and everything.
63
00:04:30,586 --> 00:04:33,486
10 billion times.
64
00:04:34,487 --> 00:04:36,287
10 billion.
65
00:04:36,427 --> 00:04:37,606
Well.
66
00:04:42,888 --> 00:04:45,988
Did he say 10 billion times,
or 10 million times?
67
00:04:45,989 --> 00:04:48,689
What's the difference all start
with the first time.
68
00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:58,290
I... will... not... visit... the...
69
00:05:02,017 --> 00:05:04,595
Ahh.
70
00:05:06,052 --> 00:05:07,364
Haa.
71
00:05:11,891 --> 00:05:15,391
He's gone again. Boy, is he in for it.
72
00:05:15,992 --> 00:05:18,092
You mean, "is the earth in for it."
73
00:05:34,693 --> 00:05:36,093
It is...
74
00:05:36,994 --> 00:05:38,894
It is one of them.
75
00:05:40,195 --> 00:05:43,395
It is. It is.
76
00:05:51,895 --> 00:05:53,695
Hello Mr. Mayberry.
77
00:05:53,698 --> 00:05:55,996
I just picked up my costume
for your party tonight.
78
00:05:55,997 --> 00:05:56,903
What are you going as?
79
00:05:56,906 --> 00:05:58,297
General Lee, same as every year.
80
00:05:58,298 --> 00:05:59,245
What are you looking at?
81
00:05:59,248 --> 00:06:00,298
A flying saucer.
82
00:06:00,299 --> 00:06:01,405
A what?
83
00:06:01,408 --> 00:06:02,399
Didn't you see it?
84
00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:03,700
Well, no sir.
85
00:06:03,701 --> 00:06:05,901
This is the real thing, Conrad.
86
00:06:05,902 --> 00:06:07,202
Look for yourself.
87
00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:11,403
You see it? Do you see it?
88
00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:13,704
Mr. Mayberry, there ain't nothing up there
89
00:06:13,705 --> 00:06:15,404
except a little old cloud.
90
00:06:15,405 --> 00:06:16,905
Oh, give me those.
91
00:06:17,406 --> 00:06:19,706
Little ole cloud nothing. There she is.
92
00:06:20,407 --> 00:06:23,907
Going round and round and round.
93
00:06:23,908 --> 00:06:26,108
- Let me have another look.
- Just as plain as day.
94
00:06:26,609 --> 00:06:28,409
- Well?
- I'm looking.
95
00:06:28,410 --> 00:06:30,910
What is your considered opinion, Conrad?
96
00:06:31,650 --> 00:06:33,011
You won't get mad?
97
00:06:33,012 --> 00:06:34,612
Well, of course I won't.
98
00:06:34,613 --> 00:06:37,313
Well, Mr. Mayberry,
my considered opinion is:
99
00:06:37,714 --> 00:06:39,114
You oughta' see an eye doctor.
100
00:06:39,115 --> 00:06:40,914
You got astigmatism.
101
00:06:40,915 --> 00:06:42,256
Eye doctor!
102
00:06:42,259 --> 00:06:44,016
Well, I gotta get over to Spelding's,
103
00:06:44,017 --> 00:06:45,817
I gotta drop these flowers for Ellen.
104
00:06:45,818 --> 00:06:47,318
Astigmatism!
105
00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:49,018
To wear to your party tonight.
106
00:06:49,679 --> 00:06:51,179
Bye-bye.
107
00:06:55,121 --> 00:06:56,421
Oh, my goodness.
108
00:06:56,424 --> 00:06:59,023
Its wiggling like a hula-hoop.
109
00:06:59,822 --> 00:07:03,813
George, I fully realise that you are vice
president in charge of programming
110
00:07:03,814 --> 00:07:06,023
but I will not pull my punches.
111
00:07:07,024 --> 00:07:10,724
The American public has faith
in Roger Putnam Spelding.
112
00:07:10,727 --> 00:07:14,125
And I intend to expos this
flying saucers scare,
113
00:07:14,126 --> 00:07:15,325
once and for all.
114
00:07:15,326 --> 00:07:17,226
On my telecast tonight.
115
00:07:17,227 --> 00:07:18,927
Hello, hello.
116
00:07:19,228 --> 00:07:23,228
Rheba, will you please get
off the telephone I'm talking to New York.
117
00:07:23,229 --> 00:07:26,529
I'm sorry dear, I was calling
the Mayberry's.
118
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:28,930
Do you think you he'll need
more mint for the juleps?
119
00:07:28,931 --> 00:07:32,531
Rheba please, I'm talking
to George Abercrombie.
120
00:07:32,532 --> 00:07:36,232
Really? Oh, hello George and goodbye.
121
00:07:39,033 --> 00:07:40,762
Evening, Conrad.
122
00:07:40,765 --> 00:07:42,035
Evening, Mrs. Spelding.
123
00:07:44,334 --> 00:07:46,334
Not dressed yet for the party?
124
00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:48,135
Plenty of time, Mrs. Spelding.
125
00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:51,215
Oh, darling, theirs some terrible force
126
00:07:51,216 --> 00:07:53,536
that just keeps driving
me on and on and on.
127
00:07:53,537 --> 00:07:55,637
Will you just restrain that terrible force
128
00:07:55,638 --> 00:07:57,538
because I'm getting prickly heat again.
129
00:07:57,737 --> 00:08:00,337
Do not forget to dress
for the party, Conrad.
130
00:08:00,340 --> 00:08:02,640
Honey, let's get married right now.
131
00:08:02,641 --> 00:08:04,725
Conrad, as you may have suspected,
132
00:08:04,728 --> 00:08:07,442
I find you sexually attractive,
133
00:08:07,599 --> 00:08:10,342
but you just don't have any... money.
134
00:08:10,483 --> 00:08:12,757
Well, I don't happen to believe in money.
135
00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:19,345
Ellen, no marriage til we finish
college and get our degree.
136
00:08:19,346 --> 00:08:22,246
Oh I don't know, maybe
marriage is all I'm fit for.
137
00:08:22,747 --> 00:08:24,322
Breading.
138
00:08:24,715 --> 00:08:29,047
Out in the fields and an hour
later back to the plow.
139
00:08:29,048 --> 00:08:33,048
Carrying my newborn child on my back.
140
00:08:33,049 --> 00:08:33,955
Ellen!
141
00:08:34,518 --> 00:08:35,449
If you're going to talk that way,
142
00:08:35,450 --> 00:08:37,350
go where smart talk is appreciated.
143
00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:39,853
Go to a bar or a bus station.
144
00:08:39,971 --> 00:08:42,252
Sometimes I wonder
if all that cod liver oil,
145
00:08:42,253 --> 00:08:43,452
wasn't a mistake.
146
00:08:43,453 --> 00:08:45,253
Children were stuffed with it.
147
00:08:45,254 --> 00:08:46,854
And now look at them.
148
00:08:48,455 --> 00:08:50,155
I'd like a big family.
149
00:08:50,455 --> 00:08:51,755
So would I.
150
00:08:52,052 --> 00:08:53,857
Let's start right now.
151
00:08:54,330 --> 00:08:57,247
- Conrad.
- We'll get married.
152
00:08:57,815 --> 00:09:00,015
And then our weekend at the lake.
153
00:09:03,860 --> 00:09:05,340
All I am saying George,
154
00:09:05,341 --> 00:09:08,910
is that it's high time
the American public grew up.
155
00:09:09,461 --> 00:09:11,073
How does it look dear?
156
00:09:12,762 --> 00:09:16,086
George, I am not calling
all of the American public, "boobs,"
157
00:09:16,087 --> 00:09:18,487
only the boobs that believe this dribble.
158
00:09:18,964 --> 00:09:21,064
I'll admit its a bit daring
159
00:09:21,159 --> 00:09:24,244
but after all, Scarlet was, a hussy.
160
00:09:24,245 --> 00:09:25,874
Rheba, for heaven sake.
161
00:09:25,875 --> 00:09:27,975
- Hurry, or we'll be late for the party.
- Shh.
162
00:09:28,731 --> 00:09:30,469
Rhett...
163
00:09:30,729 --> 00:09:33,490
I am going as Jefferson Davis.
164
00:09:33,688 --> 00:09:35,106
Now that's final George.
165
00:09:35,107 --> 00:09:38,906
My program goes on the air exactly
as we taped it this morning.
166
00:09:39,266 --> 00:09:40,482
Goodbye.
167
00:09:41,133 --> 00:09:44,733
Censorship, the curse
of the intelligent man.
168
00:09:49,209 --> 00:09:50,599
And what are you doing?
169
00:09:50,810 --> 00:09:52,510
He's just giving me a hand, daddy.
170
00:09:52,511 --> 00:09:54,111
He certainly is. Get it out of there.
171
00:09:54,112 --> 00:09:55,712
Her zipper stuck, Mr. Spelding.
172
00:09:55,713 --> 00:09:57,470
No man has the right to zip a girl,
173
00:09:57,471 --> 00:09:58,814
until they're engaged.
174
00:09:59,076 --> 00:10:01,115
I'm sure we can trust Conrad,
175
00:10:01,116 --> 00:10:02,516
he's very mechanical.
176
00:10:02,517 --> 00:10:05,517
Mr. Spelding, what do you think
about these UFO reports?
177
00:10:05,518 --> 00:10:06,618
Poppycock.
178
00:10:06,619 --> 00:10:08,319
Mr. Mayberry doesn't think so.
179
00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:10,420
He swears he saw
an unidentified flying object,
180
00:10:10,421 --> 00:10:12,390
heading towards Richmond
a little while ago.
181
00:10:12,391 --> 00:10:15,721
Bob Mayberry saw the Richmond
plane heading towards Richmond.
182
00:10:15,722 --> 00:10:17,422
Mass hysteria that's what it is.
183
00:10:17,423 --> 00:10:20,723
I am laying it on the line
tonight for the American public.
184
00:10:21,172 --> 00:10:23,308
You could be wrong, dear.
185
00:10:23,325 --> 00:10:25,845
Space men. There ain't no such animal.
186
00:10:26,135 --> 00:10:28,726
That's the phrase I'm hitting
them with on my telecast.
187
00:10:28,727 --> 00:10:30,827
Remember that scoop you had about Elvis.
188
00:10:31,010 --> 00:10:32,828
You said he was going into the Navy.
189
00:10:32,829 --> 00:10:35,729
Why don't you go home and get dressed?
190
00:10:36,049 --> 00:10:37,769
Yes, sir. Ouch!
191
00:10:38,231 --> 00:10:39,631
I'll be back soon Ellen.
192
00:10:39,632 --> 00:10:41,054
All right dear.
193
00:10:41,633 --> 00:10:43,233
Some mechanic.
194
00:10:45,234 --> 00:10:47,434
Flying saucer over Richmond.
195
00:10:47,435 --> 00:10:51,035
Now I've heard everything.
There ain't no such animal.
196
00:11:07,939 --> 00:11:09,499
Safe.
197
00:11:21,236 --> 00:11:23,836
Good evening, I wonder
if you could help me.
198
00:11:23,837 --> 00:11:25,237
Am I any where near eh...
199
00:11:28,038 --> 00:11:29,838
Oh, I guess he hasn't learned to read yet.
200
00:11:51,839 --> 00:11:53,439
What's the matter Rags? Hungry?
201
00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:56,480
Rheba, when are you going to feed this dog?
202
00:12:20,541 --> 00:12:22,841
I think he's trying to tell you something.
203
00:12:22,842 --> 00:12:24,882
Of course he is, he's trying
to tell me he's hungry.
204
00:12:25,943 --> 00:12:28,243
You see, he's not hungry at all.
205
00:12:28,744 --> 00:12:31,544
- Now, where he ever learn that trick?
- I don't know.
206
00:12:32,745 --> 00:12:35,445
Someone at the side door. I'll get it dear.
207
00:12:36,946 --> 00:12:40,446
Rheba, it's almost seven do you mind
turning on the TV set in the living room.
208
00:12:40,447 --> 00:12:43,247
Of course, dear. Any particular channel?
209
00:12:43,795 --> 00:12:44,972
My channel.
210
00:12:44,975 --> 00:12:47,899
I want to watch me. Nobody
else in this house does.
211
00:13:07,249 --> 00:13:10,104
- Yes?
- Good evening, madam.
212
00:13:10,348 --> 00:13:13,848
My name Kreton, and
my respect to General Lee.
213
00:13:13,851 --> 00:13:15,751
I should like to see him instantly.
214
00:13:15,752 --> 00:13:19,552
General Lee? Oh, you mean Bob
Mayberry down the road.
215
00:13:19,553 --> 00:13:21,253
That's where the party is.
216
00:13:21,854 --> 00:13:23,354
But I'm here for the battle.
217
00:13:23,355 --> 00:13:25,755
Oh, I don't think it will be a brawl,
218
00:13:25,756 --> 00:13:28,656
although last year...
219
00:13:28,657 --> 00:13:30,306
We will be leaving in a few minutes.
220
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:32,857
Why don't you just drive
over with us, Mr. Crouton?
221
00:13:32,858 --> 00:13:35,758
That's Kreton. And thank you very much.
222
00:13:36,459 --> 00:13:38,159
TV set warmed up yet?
223
00:13:38,705 --> 00:13:41,238
Just turning it on, dear.
224
00:13:41,961 --> 00:13:45,661
My husband's television program.
He's very popular they tell me.
225
00:13:45,662 --> 00:13:46,962
Oh, really?
226
00:13:55,663 --> 00:13:57,963
- Oh, Mr. Kreton?
- Yes?
227
00:13:57,964 --> 00:14:00,064
Do sit down and watch.
228
00:14:00,667 --> 00:14:03,765
Well, television in 1861.
229
00:14:03,766 --> 00:14:05,966
That's funny, I thought it came much later.
230
00:14:05,967 --> 00:14:09,067
- Smoke if you'd like to.
- Thank you.
231
00:14:20,368 --> 00:14:22,668
And stop whatever you're doing.
232
00:14:22,669 --> 00:14:25,969
Yes, stop and reflect a moment.
233
00:14:25,970 --> 00:14:28,770
Are you a thinking man?
234
00:14:28,771 --> 00:14:30,771
Yeah, I think, I'm a thinking man.
235
00:14:30,772 --> 00:14:32,972
Why not review your smoking habits.
236
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,673
Wait, I'm busy thinking.
237
00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:35,774
Do it now.
238
00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:36,775
Yes, sir.
239
00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:39,076
But first... relax.
240
00:14:40,082 --> 00:14:41,631
Get comfortable.
241
00:14:42,986 --> 00:14:44,778
Do you mind if I sit down?
242
00:14:44,779 --> 00:14:46,579
Sit down.
243
00:14:47,780 --> 00:14:50,380
Thank you, your very kind.
244
00:14:52,466 --> 00:14:54,210
Now then, before you light up...
245
00:14:54,282 --> 00:14:55,482
Oh, sorry.
246
00:14:55,483 --> 00:14:58,383
Inspect the filter
at the end of your smoke.
247
00:14:58,634 --> 00:15:02,457
Look inside... look closely.
248
00:15:04,591 --> 00:15:05,885
What do you see?
249
00:15:05,886 --> 00:15:07,282
Tobacco, what would you see?
250
00:15:07,283 --> 00:15:08,687
Inspect the tobacco.
251
00:15:08,688 --> 00:15:10,388
Try a crumble test.
252
00:15:11,789 --> 00:15:13,389
Crumble test?
253
00:15:13,390 --> 00:15:16,290
Rub the tobacco between your hands.
254
00:15:19,691 --> 00:15:21,691
Now, whiff it.
255
00:15:21,692 --> 00:15:24,092
Wait, I'm still busy crumbling.
256
00:15:24,621 --> 00:15:25,813
Whiff it!
257
00:15:25,814 --> 00:15:26,994
Oh, yes sir.
258
00:15:27,895 --> 00:15:30,914
Does it have that fresh deep down aroma?
259
00:15:31,896 --> 00:15:33,496
Makes you stop and think, doesn't it..
260
00:15:33,497 --> 00:15:35,497
It made me stop and sneeze.
261
00:15:35,498 --> 00:15:37,998
So men just throw that old
smoke of yours away.
262
00:15:39,399 --> 00:15:41,699
And try one of these.
263
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,700
Put it between your lips.
264
00:15:48,901 --> 00:15:50,401
Close your eyes.
265
00:15:51,302 --> 00:15:53,302
Now... light up.
266
00:15:55,103 --> 00:15:59,103
Yes... light up... and live.
267
00:16:00,604 --> 00:16:01,804
Light up and live.
268
00:16:01,805 --> 00:16:03,714
Man. I'm going to be burned to death.
269
00:16:03,809 --> 00:16:05,809
Damn Yankee.
270
00:16:07,745 --> 00:16:09,545
His name is Kreton.
271
00:16:10,107 --> 00:16:12,607
Why can't he walk over there?
Who is he anyway?
272
00:16:12,608 --> 00:16:14,908
Some friend of the Mayberry's.
273
00:16:14,909 --> 00:16:16,509
A nice young man.
274
00:16:20,310 --> 00:16:22,910
Oh, confound it. I'm missing me.
275
00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:30,186
This dog has gone nuts. Now scoot, jump.
276
00:16:37,112 --> 00:16:39,956
For several years now
certain lunatics elements,
277
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:43,112
have proclaim the existence
of flying saucers.
278
00:16:43,528 --> 00:16:47,613
I should like to nail the subject
down once and for all.
279
00:16:47,614 --> 00:16:50,614
There ain't no such animal.
280
00:16:51,715 --> 00:16:55,915
There is no life on other planets
capable of building spaceships
281
00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:59,116
and to interject a purely American note,
282
00:16:59,117 --> 00:17:02,017
no country in the world but ours,
283
00:17:02,089 --> 00:17:06,118
has the industrial know
how to build such a ship.
284
00:17:06,501 --> 00:17:07,901
Right.
285
00:17:07,981 --> 00:17:10,120
Let me show you some recent photographs
286
00:17:10,121 --> 00:17:13,021
of objects reported to be spaceships.
287
00:17:13,922 --> 00:17:15,922
- Why, president Jefferson Davis.
- Number one.
288
00:17:15,923 --> 00:17:18,823
Of all people, I can't tell you
how glad I am to meet you...
289
00:17:19,424 --> 00:17:21,724
Oh, I'm awfully sorry, sir.
290
00:17:21,725 --> 00:17:23,125
For what?
291
00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:24,525
Number two.
292
00:17:25,326 --> 00:17:28,727
Your left side-burn sir...
They, shot it off.
293
00:17:28,728 --> 00:17:29,728
Number three.
294
00:17:29,729 --> 00:17:30,723
- Quiet.
- I'm sorry?
295
00:17:30,724 --> 00:17:32,229
I'm trying to listen.
296
00:17:32,230 --> 00:17:33,830
Oh. I'll listen also sir.
297
00:17:34,197 --> 00:17:36,497
And number four.
298
00:17:37,132 --> 00:17:40,332
Optical illusions, every one of them.
299
00:17:40,333 --> 00:17:42,333
Mass hysteria.
300
00:17:42,334 --> 00:17:44,134
That's telling them, eh, boy.
301
00:17:44,135 --> 00:17:47,435
Yes, sir. It's too bad, is full of hooey.
302
00:17:47,436 --> 00:17:48,736
Hooey?
303
00:17:48,737 --> 00:17:50,837
Oh well, I believe
that's the expression, sir..
304
00:17:50,838 --> 00:17:53,438
Or is it eh, goofidust?
305
00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:56,839
No, hooey! That's it. He is full of hooey.
306
00:17:57,540 --> 00:18:01,440
There's no need for alarm. No need at all.
307
00:18:01,441 --> 00:18:04,741
We shall return to Roger
Putnam Spelding, in a moment.
308
00:18:04,742 --> 00:18:08,842
But first. Have you inspected
your filter lately.
309
00:18:09,343 --> 00:18:11,443
Smoke Supurbo.
310
00:18:11,444 --> 00:18:14,344
Superb tobacco superbly blended
311
00:18:14,345 --> 00:18:16,245
a superb filter.
312
00:18:16,246 --> 00:18:18,146
Mr. President, don't you listen to him.
313
00:18:18,147 --> 00:18:20,046
He'll burn your whiskers off.
314
00:18:20,047 --> 00:18:21,047
Oh, stop.
315
00:18:21,048 --> 00:18:24,648
I mean it, sir. He did a job on me.
He burned my head and my face...
316
00:18:24,649 --> 00:18:26,749
You think I'm full of hooey, eh?
317
00:18:26,750 --> 00:18:28,950
Oh, no sir. I didn't say
you were full of hooey,
318
00:18:28,951 --> 00:18:30,451
I said that... that... that...
319
00:18:32,852 --> 00:18:34,652
Well... your not Jefferson Davis.
320
00:18:34,653 --> 00:18:37,253
Your him that man on TV.
321
00:18:37,254 --> 00:18:41,454
- That Roger Pelman Sputing.
- Spelding.
322
00:18:41,455 --> 00:18:43,655
I know who I am. The
question is: Who are you?
323
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:46,256
Oh, no sir. The question is: When am I?
324
00:18:46,257 --> 00:18:47,257
When are you?
325
00:18:47,258 --> 00:18:49,958
What I mean is... what year is this?
326
00:18:49,959 --> 00:18:51,327
1960.
327
00:18:51,593 --> 00:18:52,860
NINETEEN SIXTY
328
00:18:54,061 --> 00:18:55,761
I'm 99 years off.
329
00:18:55,762 --> 00:18:57,662
What year did you have in mind?
330
00:18:58,222 --> 00:18:59,302
1861.
331
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:01,149
I was on my way to the civil war
332
00:19:01,173 --> 00:19:02,763
and something went
wrong with the machine,
333
00:19:02,764 --> 00:19:04,364
or my calculations, I don't
know which, but...
334
00:19:04,365 --> 00:19:07,665
I landed here 99 years out of my way.
335
00:19:08,266 --> 00:19:10,766
But I never was very good at dates.
336
00:19:11,167 --> 00:19:12,967
Are you trying to pull my leg?
337
00:19:13,241 --> 00:19:16,641
No, sir, but if you liked me to...
338
00:19:21,469 --> 00:19:23,269
Oh, I've been awfully rude, sir,
339
00:19:23,270 --> 00:19:25,470
I haven't introduced myself.
My name is Kreton.
340
00:19:25,471 --> 00:19:26,671
I'm from the other side.
341
00:19:26,672 --> 00:19:27,772
The other side of where?
342
00:19:27,773 --> 00:19:29,873
The other side of the universe,
another planet.
343
00:19:29,874 --> 00:19:31,274
Oh, I'm sorry.
344
00:19:33,275 --> 00:19:34,875
Actually, what...
345
00:19:34,876 --> 00:19:37,376
Come on, come on, I know
a trick when I see one.
346
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:39,577
Now where's the wire
that you did this with?
347
00:19:46,578 --> 00:19:47,578
What is this?
348
00:19:47,679 --> 00:19:50,479
I'm sorry, I neglected to warn you.
You see,
349
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:54,380
I can touch you but you mustn't
touch me, you understand?
350
00:19:54,639 --> 00:19:56,687
Look, I'll show you.
351
00:19:57,470 --> 00:19:58,636
You see?
352
00:20:01,382 --> 00:20:04,282
They do exist and you're one of them.
353
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:07,583
Well, yo... you come from out there.
354
00:20:07,584 --> 00:20:09,584
That's it, yes indeed.
355
00:20:09,585 --> 00:20:12,885
But that's our little secret
now, isn't it Mr. Spelding?
356
00:20:14,886 --> 00:20:18,686
That's odd. I thought
I turned that motor off.
357
00:20:20,487 --> 00:20:24,587
Oh, I'll be spending the night here.
That is... if it's convenient.
358
00:20:24,588 --> 00:20:26,088
I'll be right back.
359
00:20:33,689 --> 00:20:37,689
When you boobs my friends, I simply repeat:
360
00:20:37,690 --> 00:20:40,690
When it comes to visitors from outer space,
361
00:20:40,691 --> 00:20:43,891
there ain't no such animal.
362
00:20:43,892 --> 00:20:46,892
That's what you think, you stupid boob.
363
00:21:06,691 --> 00:21:09,291
Oh, Mr. Delton, sir.
364
00:21:09,394 --> 00:21:11,494
You playing hookey too?
365
00:21:11,495 --> 00:21:13,395
I certainly am not.
366
00:21:13,396 --> 00:21:16,296
So you gone over the cloud again eh?
367
00:21:16,297 --> 00:21:20,289
Whats your excuse this time?
Another missing volley ball?
368
00:21:20,292 --> 00:21:22,892
Oh, no sir. No, Mr. Delton.
369
00:21:22,893 --> 00:21:25,793
I-I lost my marbles.
370
00:21:25,794 --> 00:21:28,394
You lost your marbles long ago.
371
00:21:28,395 --> 00:21:30,495
I'll tell the truth, Mr. Delton.
372
00:21:30,496 --> 00:21:32,596
You see the reason I played
hockey and came down here is,
373
00:21:32,597 --> 00:21:35,497
because I like the earth
and I like the people on it,
374
00:21:35,498 --> 00:21:38,398
and well sir, can't I can study them?
375
00:21:38,399 --> 00:21:39,799
Absolutely not.
376
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:41,300
But it would be like homework, sir,
377
00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:43,401
after all I am majoring in planet earth.
378
00:21:43,402 --> 00:21:44,902
Under no circumstances.
379
00:21:45,903 --> 00:21:47,503
On second thought,
380
00:21:47,504 --> 00:21:50,004
maybe you ought to get
this out of your system.
381
00:21:50,005 --> 00:21:51,605
It might do you a world of good.
382
00:21:51,606 --> 00:21:53,406
Another world that is.
383
00:21:53,407 --> 00:21:55,385
You mean I can stay then, sir?
384
00:21:55,535 --> 00:21:56,835
For a bit.
385
00:21:56,838 --> 00:22:00,109
But remember Kreton, there's
a wise old proverb that goes
386
00:22:00,110 --> 00:22:02,510
"up is down and down is up..."
387
00:22:02,511 --> 00:22:04,611
"And never the twain shall meet."
388
00:22:04,612 --> 00:22:06,812
Yes, I remember it.
I remember it well, sir.
389
00:22:06,813 --> 00:22:08,713
But you must keep in mind
that this visit of yours,
390
00:22:08,714 --> 00:22:09,914
must be a secret.
391
00:22:09,915 --> 00:22:13,615
And don't get involved with these
earth-people. You can't trust them.
392
00:22:13,616 --> 00:22:15,016
No, you can't trust them at all, sir,
393
00:22:15,017 --> 00:22:16,617
except Mr. Spelding, he's very nice,
394
00:22:16,618 --> 00:22:18,218
an he wouldn't tell a soul about me.
395
00:22:18,219 --> 00:22:19,919
He wouldn't, eh?
396
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:23,620
At this very moment,
he's calling New York. Listen.
397
00:22:25,121 --> 00:22:28,321
I don't care if he is having dining.
This is important.
398
00:22:28,622 --> 00:22:30,522
I'll fix his wagon.
399
00:22:30,523 --> 00:22:32,523
What are you going to do, Mr. Delton?
400
00:22:32,524 --> 00:22:35,024
That joker is getting the old "86."
401
00:22:35,025 --> 00:22:36,625
Oh no don't disintegrate, him Mr. Delton.
402
00:22:36,626 --> 00:22:39,026
He's a very nice man,
and he's going to a party later
403
00:22:39,027 --> 00:22:40,527
and his wife will not dance with.
404
00:22:40,528 --> 00:22:42,528
Couldn't you just throw an old 14 at him?
405
00:22:43,811 --> 00:22:46,129
- 14 it is.
- Your very kind.
406
00:22:46,930 --> 00:22:49,630
Here's how to start my program tomorrow...
407
00:22:52,531 --> 00:22:55,931
Well, speak up man. I have
a dinner party waiting for me.
408
00:22:56,732 --> 00:22:59,632
How do you intend to start your broadcast?
409
00:23:00,337 --> 00:23:02,212
Mary had a wittle wamb,
410
00:23:02,215 --> 00:23:04,823
its fleece was white as snow,
411
00:23:05,198 --> 00:23:08,417
and everywhere that Mary went.
412
00:23:09,433 --> 00:23:11,633
Roger, are you out of your mind?
413
00:23:12,258 --> 00:23:16,891
The wamb... was sure... to go.
414
00:23:17,458 --> 00:23:19,058
Spelding you're drunk.
415
00:23:19,935 --> 00:23:23,435
Study these earthlings
but don't get involved.
416
00:23:23,551 --> 00:23:24,476
No, I won't.
417
00:23:24,479 --> 00:23:27,136
Do you worry, Mr. Delton
and thank you very much.
418
00:23:27,137 --> 00:23:30,637
And I'll be a good boy, Mr. Delton.
Have a good trip.
419
00:23:30,638 --> 00:23:32,338
So long.
420
00:23:48,239 --> 00:23:49,239
What happened?
421
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:51,940
Well, you were snitching so you got a 14.
422
00:23:51,941 --> 00:23:53,541
You could have gotten an 86.
423
00:23:53,542 --> 00:23:54,542
Whats an 86?
424
00:23:55,492 --> 00:23:56,892
Come I show you.
425
00:24:00,924 --> 00:24:01,934
Well?
426
00:24:02,315 --> 00:24:03,809
Watch that plant.
427
00:24:18,782 --> 00:24:20,782
That's an 86.
428
00:24:30,779 --> 00:24:34,190
You'll like him, he's really
a very nice young man.
429
00:24:34,339 --> 00:24:35,883
- Mr. Kreton.
- Yes?
430
00:24:35,894 --> 00:24:37,447
This is my daughter, Ellen.
431
00:24:37,619 --> 00:24:39,156
Hello.
432
00:24:39,244 --> 00:24:41,021
Huh. 36.
433
00:24:42,549 --> 00:24:44,660
24...
434
00:24:44,663 --> 00:24:46,349
36.
435
00:24:46,350 --> 00:24:47,950
That's better... much better.
436
00:24:47,951 --> 00:24:48,951
Pardon?
437
00:24:48,952 --> 00:24:52,152
- I mean... this bend...
- What?
438
00:24:52,153 --> 00:24:54,753
What I mean to say is that,
it does something for girls.
439
00:24:54,754 --> 00:24:58,154
You see, where I come from,
the girls are 36 straight and that's it.
440
00:24:58,155 --> 00:25:01,455
But this, breaks up the monotony.
441
00:25:02,516 --> 00:25:05,156
- I'm sorry.
- He is cute, mother.
442
00:25:05,957 --> 00:25:06,957
I was right.
443
00:25:06,958 --> 00:25:08,858
I was right. I was right.
444
00:25:08,859 --> 00:25:11,059
Good evening, Ellen, Rheba.
445
00:25:11,060 --> 00:25:13,860
I just received a flash from
headquarters on the flying saucers.
446
00:25:13,861 --> 00:25:15,861
It's confirmed Roger.
447
00:25:15,862 --> 00:25:19,238
Why I even saw one with my
own eyes, as plain as day.
448
00:25:19,241 --> 00:25:21,163
There were machine guns
sticking out of the side
449
00:25:21,164 --> 00:25:22,964
and underneath it had a rack of bomb,
450
00:25:23,238 --> 00:25:26,779
and a tremendous cannon poking
out of a pillbox on the top.
451
00:25:26,799 --> 00:25:28,379
Oh, ho ho?
452
00:25:28,382 --> 00:25:30,066
- How do you do.
- How do you do.
453
00:25:30,168 --> 00:25:31,168
Have we met?
454
00:25:31,947 --> 00:25:35,047
No, unless you've ever been to X-47.
455
00:25:35,050 --> 00:25:38,631
This is Mr. Mayberry. He's
host to the party tonight.
456
00:25:38,634 --> 00:25:39,319
Oh?
457
00:25:39,553 --> 00:25:40,951
Nice costume.
458
00:25:40,952 --> 00:25:43,052
Right costumes, wrong century.
459
00:25:46,382 --> 00:25:48,540
Oh, get this, Rog, get this.
460
00:25:48,543 --> 00:25:51,815
At 1800 this evening, an
unidentified flying object
461
00:25:51,855 --> 00:25:53,155
was spotted high over...
462
00:25:53,156 --> 00:25:55,056
Bob, you shouldn't read
that in fount of Roger.
463
00:25:55,057 --> 00:25:58,257
Remember, there "ain't" no such animal.
464
00:25:58,258 --> 00:26:00,658
"No such animal," as what, mother?
465
00:26:00,659 --> 00:26:02,959
As visitors from beyond.
466
00:26:03,703 --> 00:26:06,703
Teensy-wincy little men with
long green feelers like this.
467
00:26:07,035 --> 00:26:08,661
Excuse me, Mrs. Spelding,
468
00:26:08,662 --> 00:26:11,880
but the long green feelers went
out with the short red tails.
469
00:26:12,875 --> 00:26:14,749
Short red tails??
470
00:26:15,664 --> 00:26:18,132
Bob, Rheba, for heaven's sake.
471
00:26:18,135 --> 00:26:19,865
Short red tails??
472
00:26:20,454 --> 00:26:21,766
That's a good one.
473
00:26:23,027 --> 00:26:24,121
No.
474
00:26:24,123 --> 00:26:25,643
Oh no.
475
00:26:26,218 --> 00:26:29,018
Yes, yes indeed. You put
fingerprints all over it.
476
00:26:29,128 --> 00:26:31,228
I mean, I don't care for me personally,
477
00:26:31,269 --> 00:26:33,469
but we are supposed to keep it clean.
478
00:26:33,470 --> 00:26:36,470
You know, sloppy barrier, sloppy mind.
479
00:26:45,571 --> 00:26:48,571
You know whats going on Rog, tell us?
480
00:26:49,932 --> 00:26:53,932
I can't. I have to watch
out for that old 86.
481
00:26:54,134 --> 00:26:55,259
86?
482
00:26:55,262 --> 00:26:57,775
Look what happened to the azalea plant.
483
00:26:58,374 --> 00:26:59,974
It's withered!
484
00:26:59,975 --> 00:27:02,075
That's what I mean.
485
00:27:02,376 --> 00:27:04,276
Can I tell them, please?
486
00:27:05,570 --> 00:27:08,779
Well, as long as I am going
to be guest in your house,
487
00:27:08,782 --> 00:27:10,356
I suppose it'll be alright.
488
00:27:10,495 --> 00:27:11,562
But remember now.
489
00:27:11,619 --> 00:27:13,349
This is our little secret.
490
00:27:14,079 --> 00:27:15,779
- You see...
- I'm from another world.
491
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:18,180
- From another...?
- Planet.
492
00:27:18,181 --> 00:27:20,881
- It's true.
- Jupiter?
493
00:27:20,882 --> 00:27:23,682
Jupiter? No one lives on Jupiter.
494
00:27:23,683 --> 00:27:25,583
At least no one I know.
495
00:27:25,584 --> 00:27:26,884
Why did you come here?
496
00:27:27,104 --> 00:27:29,020
Oh... I guess it was a
497
00:27:29,302 --> 00:27:31,426
combined pleasure and study trip.
498
00:27:31,584 --> 00:27:34,284
You know, a visit to your
small planet from mine.
499
00:27:34,787 --> 00:27:36,687
8,000,000 light years away.
500
00:27:36,688 --> 00:27:39,821
8,000,000. Imagine.
501
00:27:39,824 --> 00:27:42,890
Poor boy, you must be exhausted.
502
00:27:43,502 --> 00:27:46,589
I am as a matter of fact
a little pooped right now.
503
00:27:46,590 --> 00:27:48,590
A good night sleep will take care of that.
504
00:27:48,591 --> 00:27:50,591
I'll fix up the guest room.
505
00:27:50,592 --> 00:27:52,192
Oh, well, thank you very much.
506
00:28:14,793 --> 00:28:16,093
Hi everybody.
507
00:28:16,094 --> 00:28:17,762
Hi, Conrad.
508
00:28:18,004 --> 00:28:19,394
What is he supposed to be?
509
00:28:19,395 --> 00:28:21,095
A spaceman.
510
00:28:21,384 --> 00:28:23,496
At least that's what I would
have said 10 minutes ago.
511
00:28:23,497 --> 00:28:24,997
Ain't I something?
512
00:28:25,598 --> 00:28:27,196
Excuse me, please.
513
00:28:27,197 --> 00:28:28,721
How do you do?
514
00:28:28,940 --> 00:28:30,469
I wonder, do you mind?
515
00:28:30,681 --> 00:28:31,981
Go ahead.
516
00:28:32,328 --> 00:28:33,683
Thanks you.
517
00:28:36,301 --> 00:28:38,137
You know I'm sick and
tired of going to this old
518
00:28:38,140 --> 00:28:40,103
ball every year dressed
as Stonewall Jackson.
519
00:28:40,502 --> 00:28:42,902
This year I'm going as a
sure enough spaceman.
520
00:28:43,252 --> 00:28:44,354
Boom boom.
521
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:48,403
Oh, you don't need that to bum-bum. May I?
522
00:28:48,747 --> 00:28:49,786
Sure.
523
00:28:51,505 --> 00:28:53,405
Mr. Spelding, who is that?
524
00:28:53,806 --> 00:28:57,006
That you boob, is a spaceman.
525
00:28:57,277 --> 00:28:58,807
A spaceman?
526
00:28:59,808 --> 00:29:01,308
Your kidding.
527
00:29:02,109 --> 00:29:05,509
Would you please sit down and shut up?
528
00:29:13,110 --> 00:29:15,010
Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Spelding.
529
00:29:16,911 --> 00:29:19,011
Get-this-thing-off-me!
530
00:29:20,412 --> 00:29:21,534
Get it off.
531
00:29:21,537 --> 00:29:24,714
Yes, I will. Just a second.
532
00:29:29,626 --> 00:29:34,113
Oops I'm sorry, Mr. Spelding. I
guess I aimed just a little too high.
533
00:29:34,114 --> 00:29:36,824
If you'll just take your
hands down and relax.
534
00:29:36,827 --> 00:29:38,416
Just hold perfectly still.
535
00:29:44,715 --> 00:29:46,415
There we are.
536
00:29:53,616 --> 00:29:56,616
See, Mr. Spelding, I can but you can't.
537
00:30:00,417 --> 00:30:04,717
Sure enough ever loving
cotton picking spaceman.
538
00:30:04,718 --> 00:30:07,518
Here you are Mr. Spelding,
I hope I didn't upset...
539
00:30:07,519 --> 00:30:08,742
Guest room's ready.
540
00:30:08,745 --> 00:30:11,730
Thank you, very much Mrs. Spelding.
I hope I didn't put you out.
541
00:30:11,733 --> 00:30:14,921
And find some of Mr. Spelding
clothes in the closet.
542
00:30:14,922 --> 00:30:16,188
Feel free to wear them.
543
00:30:16,191 --> 00:30:18,723
My clothes?!? Are you radioactive?
544
00:30:18,724 --> 00:30:21,324
Don't worry about that sir,
I've had my shots.
545
00:30:21,325 --> 00:30:25,025
Well, enjoy yourselves everybody.
I'm going to beddy-bye.
546
00:30:25,026 --> 00:30:27,526
- Goodnight.
- You forgot your bag, Kreton.
547
00:30:27,527 --> 00:30:30,727
Oh, so I did, thank you.
548
00:30:34,757 --> 00:30:35,549
Bob...
549
00:30:36,653 --> 00:30:37,923
Where are you going?
550
00:30:37,926 --> 00:30:39,650
I know my duty when I see it.
551
00:30:39,653 --> 00:30:41,328
I'm reporting this to state militia.
552
00:30:41,331 --> 00:30:43,431
I wouldn't do that. He
wants it kept secret.
553
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:45,035
Secret?
554
00:30:45,426 --> 00:30:49,531
Oh. Of course. You can trust me, Rog.
555
00:30:49,532 --> 00:30:51,032
Won't tell a soul.
556
00:30:54,523 --> 00:30:55,630
Conrad?
557
00:30:55,633 --> 00:30:57,456
Won't tell a soul ether Mr. Spelding.
558
00:30:57,459 --> 00:30:58,559
Your darn right you won't.
559
00:30:58,570 --> 00:31:00,570
You think I'd let a blabber mouth
like you get me in trouble?
560
00:31:00,582 --> 00:31:01,992
You are not leaving this house tonight.
561
00:31:01,995 --> 00:31:03,784
You are sleeping here.
562
00:31:05,749 --> 00:31:07,049
In my room.
563
00:31:07,752 --> 00:31:10,252
I'm sorry, Mr. Spelding, just I can't.
564
00:31:10,645 --> 00:31:14,265
I mean... I'm not gonna leave
Myrtle alone in my place all night.
565
00:31:14,307 --> 00:31:16,408
- Myrtle?
- His goat daddy. Remember?
566
00:31:16,411 --> 00:31:17,077
Oh yeah...
567
00:31:17,141 --> 00:31:18,941
Myrtle hasn't been a
bit well Mr. Spelding.
568
00:31:18,942 --> 00:31:20,107
She looks very piqued.
569
00:31:20,154 --> 00:31:22,526
And in the last couple of days
she been running a temperature.
570
00:31:22,529 --> 00:31:25,743
Well, she can run it over here.
Put Myrtle in our barn.
571
00:31:25,844 --> 00:31:27,847
- Is it air conditioning?
- Get going.
572
00:31:27,850 --> 00:31:29,150
Yes sir, I'll do that.
573
00:31:32,146 --> 00:31:33,424
What about the party daddy?
574
00:31:33,427 --> 00:31:35,848
We are not going to the party.
575
00:31:39,837 --> 00:31:40,937
Good evening, good evening.
576
00:31:40,962 --> 00:31:43,662
Mabel, Mabel. Get them to the living room.
577
00:31:43,749 --> 00:31:45,949
- What?
- Get them into the living room, please.
578
00:31:45,950 --> 00:31:47,061
Hurry, dear, hurry.
579
00:31:47,064 --> 00:31:50,351
Will you all please go into the living
room and enjoy yourself's,
580
00:31:50,354 --> 00:31:52,192
I'll be there in just a moment.
581
00:31:52,431 --> 00:31:53,330
Have fun.
582
00:31:54,853 --> 00:31:56,326
Robert, what the world...?
583
00:31:56,329 --> 00:31:58,253
Don't ask any questions, Mabel.
584
00:31:58,254 --> 00:32:00,429
This is the biggest thing that
ever happened to Manassas...
585
00:32:00,432 --> 00:32:01,156
To the country!
586
00:32:01,455 --> 00:32:03,955
Captain Jackson? Mayberry of Manassas.
587
00:32:03,956 --> 00:32:06,956
Listen carefully, this is top, top secret.
588
00:32:06,957 --> 00:32:09,757
At precisely 7:45 tonight...
589
00:32:09,814 --> 00:32:12,877
Mary had a wittle wamb.
590
00:32:13,458 --> 00:32:15,758
Mustn't do that, Mr. Mayberry.
591
00:32:25,959 --> 00:32:28,659
Oh, hi' ya Rags. Come on in. Come on.
592
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:36,160
There's no reason why
we can't be friends, Rags.
593
00:32:36,161 --> 00:32:39,161
Now, whats on your mind?
Come on, out with it.
594
00:32:40,552 --> 00:32:42,152
Oh, I forgot.
595
00:32:45,353 --> 00:32:48,553
I don't believe it. There
ain't no such human.
596
00:32:48,554 --> 00:32:50,754
You been spending too much
time with Mr. Spelding.
597
00:32:50,755 --> 00:32:52,255
I am perfectly normal.
598
00:32:53,556 --> 00:32:55,156
Rags, where do you sleep at night?
599
00:32:55,157 --> 00:32:58,457
Me? In a lousy box in the back porch.
600
00:32:58,458 --> 00:33:00,358
They think I'm a watchdog,
601
00:33:00,359 --> 00:33:02,659
but really I'm not, I'm yellow.
602
00:33:03,060 --> 00:33:04,860
So am I.
603
00:33:06,161 --> 00:33:09,961
Rags I have a thought. Why don't
you bunk here with me tonight?
604
00:33:09,962 --> 00:33:12,662
- With you?
- Sure, why not?
605
00:33:40,343 --> 00:33:43,243
Rags, you take the lower.
606
00:33:49,264 --> 00:33:51,464
Normal... he says .
607
00:33:57,965 --> 00:34:00,965
- Good morning, Kreton.
- Good morning, Ellen.
608
00:34:00,966 --> 00:34:03,866
- You look very pretty this morning.
- Thank you.
609
00:34:03,867 --> 00:34:05,467
Well, how do you like it?
610
00:34:05,468 --> 00:34:07,568
Your first day on earth, I mean.
611
00:34:08,569 --> 00:34:10,283
Just wonderful. I liked it a lot.
612
00:34:10,286 --> 00:34:12,386
Except that, its not exactly
like I thought it would be.
613
00:34:12,571 --> 00:34:14,471
Why, what did you imagine?
614
00:34:14,472 --> 00:34:18,472
I'm a little disappointed,
I missed the civil war.
615
00:34:18,473 --> 00:34:21,973
Gettysburg, Shiloh, Manassas.
616
00:34:21,974 --> 00:34:25,074
You keep talking about the past,
are you from the future?
617
00:34:25,075 --> 00:34:29,775
Yeah, uh-huh. I can visit you
at any moment in your history.
618
00:34:29,776 --> 00:34:33,076
Time is really a trapezoid.
619
00:34:33,077 --> 00:34:34,745
You know what that means, don't you?
620
00:34:34,752 --> 00:34:36,452
No, I'm afraid I don't.
621
00:34:36,455 --> 00:34:38,247
Don't know what a trapezoid is?
622
00:34:40,679 --> 00:34:42,279
Well, I don't either, actually.
623
00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:44,280
That's the trouble with school,
624
00:34:44,281 --> 00:34:46,881
they make you memorize things
that your never ever gonna use.
625
00:35:07,082 --> 00:35:09,782
Kreton, whats it like in space?
626
00:35:09,783 --> 00:35:13,583
Oh, its pretty nice. Especially
if your traveling out of season.
627
00:35:14,784 --> 00:35:16,584
- Uh-oh, trouble.
- Trouble?
628
00:35:16,585 --> 00:35:18,385
Your daddy's in the study,
629
00:35:18,386 --> 00:35:21,086
and he's waiting for a call from
George Abercrombie in New York,
630
00:35:21,087 --> 00:35:22,487
and is he worried...
631
00:35:22,488 --> 00:35:24,888
You mean, you can tell
what daddy's thinking?
632
00:35:24,964 --> 00:35:27,264
Uh-huh. Would you like to listen in?
633
00:35:30,021 --> 00:35:32,621
George Abercrombie, big shot executive,
634
00:35:32,622 --> 00:35:35,722
thinks he has brains, well
I've got news for him,
635
00:35:35,723 --> 00:35:38,134
his brains aren't
in his head their in his...
636
00:35:38,137 --> 00:35:38,752
Oops.
637
00:35:40,665 --> 00:35:42,624
You have to be awfully careful of thoughts.
638
00:35:43,325 --> 00:35:46,125
Like for instance: Yours
thoughts. Right now.
639
00:35:46,426 --> 00:35:48,426
I haven't a thing on my mind.
640
00:35:48,427 --> 00:35:50,127
Except Conrad.
641
00:35:51,228 --> 00:35:52,528
The truth, Ellen?
642
00:35:52,529 --> 00:35:55,929
Poor Conrad, sleeping with daddy,
643
00:35:55,930 --> 00:35:59,030
and if daddy knew what he had
planning for this weekend at the lake
644
00:35:59,031 --> 00:36:01,634
he strangle him in his sleep.
645
00:36:02,532 --> 00:36:04,232
No chaperones.
646
00:36:04,633 --> 00:36:06,233
I'm frighted...
647
00:36:06,546 --> 00:36:08,446
No I'm excited.
648
00:36:09,335 --> 00:36:11,335
I'm really looking forward to...
649
00:36:12,036 --> 00:36:15,136
He's inside, Kreton is inside my mind.
650
00:36:15,737 --> 00:36:17,937
Kreton, stop that!
651
00:36:17,938 --> 00:36:20,238
Ellen, wait a minute,
652
00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:22,639
I mean, I didn't mean to embarrass you.
653
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:23,640
Well, now you know.
654
00:36:23,641 --> 00:36:25,941
Oh Kreton, whole thing is so mixed up.
655
00:36:25,942 --> 00:36:26,942
Well, lets un-mix it.
656
00:36:27,168 --> 00:36:29,568
First, how does Conrad
feel about your father?
657
00:36:29,569 --> 00:36:31,669
I'm afraid he doesn't like daddy very much.
658
00:36:31,670 --> 00:36:33,670
And what does your father
think about Conrad?
659
00:36:33,671 --> 00:36:34,871
Despises him.
660
00:36:34,872 --> 00:36:36,272
The first thing we have to do is,
661
00:36:36,273 --> 00:36:37,473
change the sleeping arrangement.
662
00:36:37,474 --> 00:36:40,174
Because last night wasn't
satisfactory at all.
663
00:36:40,175 --> 00:36:42,175
So there are 3 bedrooms and I'm in one.
664
00:36:42,176 --> 00:36:45,676
Now lets put Mr. and Mrs. Spelding
in bedroom A, together.
665
00:36:45,677 --> 00:36:47,577
Now, you and Conrad...
666
00:36:47,578 --> 00:36:49,678
Yes, this is going to work
out just fine, Ellen.
667
00:36:49,679 --> 00:36:52,079
You and Conrad can take over bedroom B.
668
00:36:52,462 --> 00:36:54,862
Conrad and I, aren't married.
669
00:36:56,303 --> 00:36:58,481
Well, I didn't mean any harm by it, Ellen.
670
00:36:58,482 --> 00:37:01,782
You have to understand, you see,
where I come from, we don't tangle.
671
00:37:02,783 --> 00:37:04,783
You don't tangle?
672
00:37:04,784 --> 00:37:07,484
Oh no, we haven't done
that for a long time.
673
00:37:08,685 --> 00:37:10,785
Well, if you don't tangle...
674
00:37:10,788 --> 00:37:12,485
What do you do?
675
00:37:12,486 --> 00:37:14,486
I mean, how do you multiply?
676
00:37:14,687 --> 00:37:16,287
Multiply what?
677
00:37:16,288 --> 00:37:18,791
Each other. How do you have babies?
678
00:37:18,889 --> 00:37:21,521
- Oh we don't.
- I don't understand.
679
00:37:21,524 --> 00:37:24,024
Let me explain. We have ourselves.
680
00:37:24,629 --> 00:37:26,933
Since we're for real, forever,
681
00:37:27,059 --> 00:37:28,491
there's enough of us.
682
00:37:28,492 --> 00:37:29,792
Do you understand?
683
00:37:29,793 --> 00:37:32,393
So now you... never tangle.
684
00:37:32,394 --> 00:37:34,494
No, never. It's a lost art.
685
00:37:34,495 --> 00:37:37,995
Although I must admit we
were a little hasty. I think.
686
00:37:37,996 --> 00:37:40,496
Anyway, you must promise
me that you'll let me watch,
687
00:37:40,497 --> 00:37:42,997
the next time you and
Conrad oscillate antennas.
688
00:37:43,698 --> 00:37:46,298
Oscillate antennas?
689
00:37:46,299 --> 00:37:48,499
Oh, sorry. That's what
they call it on Venus,
690
00:37:48,500 --> 00:37:52,173
but here I think they refer
to it as: Pitch and woo.
691
00:37:52,501 --> 00:37:53,801
May I watch?
692
00:37:56,402 --> 00:37:58,102
Well Ellen, what did I say now?
693
00:37:58,903 --> 00:38:01,908
That's really the one thing
I wanna' see while I'm down here.
694
00:38:01,911 --> 00:38:04,511
Kreton, you've got to
stop talking like that.
695
00:38:04,605 --> 00:38:06,505
I know that your from another planet,
696
00:38:06,506 --> 00:38:09,406
but we do think an awful
lot about sex down here.
697
00:38:09,407 --> 00:38:11,407
But were not suppose to discus it.
698
00:38:11,408 --> 00:38:14,408
Anyway, it only happens
when nobody's looking.
699
00:38:14,409 --> 00:38:15,920
Morning, Conrad.
700
00:38:16,192 --> 00:38:17,809
Did you sleep well?
701
00:38:17,810 --> 00:38:19,410
I was up all night...
702
00:38:20,611 --> 00:38:23,011
Ellen, your father grinds his teeth.
703
00:38:23,012 --> 00:38:25,012
It's just gruesome.
704
00:38:28,004 --> 00:38:29,863
He's been listening to my mind.
705
00:38:30,614 --> 00:38:33,389
I know all about the
weekend at lake.
706
00:38:33,392 --> 00:38:34,914
No chaperone.
707
00:38:34,915 --> 00:38:36,815
Yeah, how 'bout that?
708
00:38:37,931 --> 00:38:39,191
How'd he find out?
709
00:38:39,194 --> 00:38:41,420
I just told you. I was thinking about you,
710
00:38:41,423 --> 00:38:43,418
Kreton saw it in my mind.
711
00:38:43,505 --> 00:38:46,915
Guess who I'm thinking about
right this minute peach blossom.
712
00:38:47,220 --> 00:38:49,920
So that's how you earthlings do it, huh?
713
00:38:49,921 --> 00:38:52,021
Very interesting. Very
interesting indeed.
714
00:38:52,022 --> 00:38:56,522
Well, I'm pretty well straighten
away except for one little detail.
715
00:38:56,523 --> 00:38:58,923
A teensy-wincy thing
I still not to sure of.
716
00:38:59,224 --> 00:39:01,579
- Which one has the baby?
- Kreton!
717
00:39:01,825 --> 00:39:04,525
Conrad, go get the car,
we'll be late for class.
718
00:39:04,768 --> 00:39:06,068
Ahh, in a minute.
719
00:39:06,327 --> 00:39:09,880
I got to go out to the barn
and give Myrtle her breakfast.
720
00:39:11,928 --> 00:39:13,928
I'll take her a corn flakes box.
721
00:39:16,729 --> 00:39:18,529
I'll pick you up in a few
minutes honey child.
722
00:39:20,430 --> 00:39:21,630
Corn flake box?
723
00:39:22,539 --> 00:39:24,639
This seems much more nourishing.
724
00:39:26,332 --> 00:39:29,632
I do believe he thinks more of
that goat than he does of me.
725
00:39:31,133 --> 00:39:33,333
What a weekend.
726
00:39:33,834 --> 00:39:37,434
I can just see her gorgeous
figure in that bathing suit.
727
00:39:37,865 --> 00:39:39,420
Wow-wee!
728
00:39:44,035 --> 00:39:45,735
Well, your the one alright.
729
00:39:45,736 --> 00:39:48,536
Nobody ever whistled at
a goat in a bathing suit.
730
00:39:49,437 --> 00:39:51,337
Except another goat I guess.
731
00:39:52,818 --> 00:39:54,218
Oh, there you are.
732
00:39:54,639 --> 00:39:59,039
If you're not busy, Mr. Kreton, my
husband would see you in the study.
733
00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:00,640
Gladly.
734
00:40:01,213 --> 00:40:03,184
What are you laughing at dear?
735
00:40:03,252 --> 00:40:06,111
Conrad's goat in a bathing suit.
736
00:40:06,143 --> 00:40:08,843
Oh? Did he buy her a bathing suit?
737
00:40:08,844 --> 00:40:11,244
I didn't know she could swim.
738
00:40:17,145 --> 00:40:19,045
Why don't you hang a
red light on that thing,
739
00:40:19,046 --> 00:40:20,446
it's a menace to navigation.
740
00:40:22,247 --> 00:40:24,847
- Good morning, my boy.
- Good morning, sir.
741
00:40:24,848 --> 00:40:27,630
I need your advice.
I just spoke to New York...
742
00:40:27,633 --> 00:40:29,921
I know. You spoke
to George Abercrombie,
743
00:40:29,924 --> 00:40:31,149
and he's on his way here,
744
00:40:31,150 --> 00:40:32,750
he's arriving on the 11 o'clock plane.
745
00:40:32,751 --> 00:40:36,851
How did you...? Oh...
You know what I'm thinking.
746
00:40:36,852 --> 00:40:39,452
And right now your pretty worried?
747
00:40:39,453 --> 00:40:40,853
Of course I'm worried.
748
00:40:41,454 --> 00:40:43,054
That fellow's my boss.
749
00:40:43,055 --> 00:40:47,455
Hire and fire, fires
and hires, all daylong.
750
00:40:50,490 --> 00:40:53,490
Why did I do that, if never
drink before breakfast.
751
00:40:54,557 --> 00:40:56,157
A drink what? What is that?
752
00:40:56,158 --> 00:40:59,158
- Bourbon.
- Bourbon? May I try?
753
00:40:59,159 --> 00:41:00,595
I'm afraid you're a little young my boy.
754
00:41:00,660 --> 00:41:02,876
Young? Here's my driver's license.
755
00:41:02,942 --> 00:41:04,542
I have over 21.
756
00:41:05,944 --> 00:41:07,944
21 million light years?
757
00:41:07,947 --> 00:41:11,047
Yes, you should have seen my birthday
cake with all the candles.
758
00:41:11,164 --> 00:41:12,864
Burned it to a crisp.
759
00:41:12,865 --> 00:41:15,565
I'd be careful... on an empty stomach.
760
00:41:15,566 --> 00:41:20,066
Really? Then should be a lotta' fun.
761
00:41:20,067 --> 00:41:22,116
Mr. Delton, are you gonna'
let him try that stuff?
762
00:41:22,147 --> 00:41:24,868
I am indeed. It'll teach him a lesson.
763
00:41:24,869 --> 00:41:27,369
Give that kid enough cloud
and he'll hang himself.
764
00:41:27,377 --> 00:41:28,309
Good, good.
765
00:41:53,071 --> 00:41:55,671
Wow, that sure was powerful stuff.
766
00:42:04,172 --> 00:42:05,572
Thank you very much.
767
00:42:09,373 --> 00:42:12,073
Now, now, you can talk later.
Time for breakfast.
768
00:42:12,074 --> 00:42:14,974
Ellen and Conrad want to drive
Mr. Kreton into town with them.
769
00:42:14,975 --> 00:42:17,475
Do you like your bacon
crisp Mr. Kreton?
770
00:42:17,476 --> 00:42:18,876
Yes, that'll be fine.
771
00:42:18,877 --> 00:42:21,527
Good. You shouldn't be up there,
772
00:42:21,528 --> 00:42:24,177
you'll get footprints all over the ceiling.
773
00:42:24,178 --> 00:42:27,978
By the way, you can make
my eggs, sunny side down.
774
00:42:29,679 --> 00:42:31,979
Now that's silly.
775
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:36,980
Now I know what they mean by "being high".
776
00:42:36,981 --> 00:42:38,481
Lets have another one.
777
00:43:00,782 --> 00:43:03,582
Well, begin to understand
how they do things on earth.
778
00:43:03,583 --> 00:43:05,383
When Conrad tickles your ear,
779
00:43:05,384 --> 00:43:06,784
that makes the motor go, right?
780
00:43:06,785 --> 00:43:09,985
Conrad, tickling my ear, has
nothing to do with the motor.
781
00:43:09,986 --> 00:43:11,486
It has to do with your motor?
782
00:43:11,487 --> 00:43:13,687
You should try it sometime.
783
00:43:14,088 --> 00:43:16,288
Love... its wonderful.
784
00:43:16,289 --> 00:43:17,989
Oh, we gave up ages ago.
785
00:43:17,990 --> 00:43:19,990
Took forever to stamp out diseases,
786
00:43:19,991 --> 00:43:23,891
Scarlet fever, mumps anxiety,
common cold and finally,
787
00:43:23,892 --> 00:43:26,092
the great killer: Passion.
788
00:43:26,093 --> 00:43:28,093
You gave up passion?
789
00:43:28,094 --> 00:43:30,394
Yes, we don't feel anything.
We don't do anything.
790
00:43:30,395 --> 00:43:33,295
Inside were kind of like... cold spaghetti.
791
00:43:33,796 --> 00:43:36,896
- Sounds terribly dull.
- Well, it is, a little.
792
00:43:37,397 --> 00:43:40,097
You go right ahead, Conrad.
Don't mind me.
793
00:43:41,798 --> 00:43:44,198
Oh, sorry, I was watching.
794
00:43:52,999 --> 00:43:55,199
Unless we get moving soon
were going to be late.
795
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:18,700
Kreton, you did that. How'd you ever do it?
796
00:44:18,701 --> 00:44:21,001
Very simple. I just
thought him into the air.
797
00:44:21,002 --> 00:44:22,502
The next policeman is yours.
798
00:44:22,503 --> 00:44:24,503
- Oh, may I?
- Sure!
799
00:44:24,804 --> 00:44:27,904
- Hey, this is fun.
- Oh, it sure is.
800
00:44:32,705 --> 00:44:35,105
- This is one mine?
- Be my guest.
801
00:44:35,506 --> 00:44:36,806
What do I do?
802
00:44:36,809 --> 00:44:39,497
Just focus all your thoughts
on that policeman.
803
00:44:39,500 --> 00:44:41,707
- Ellen please.
- Conrad, watch this.
804
00:44:45,908 --> 00:44:49,408
- Nothing happened.
- That's because your not concentrating.
805
00:44:49,409 --> 00:44:52,609
Now, concentrate. Lift the cop.
806
00:44:53,910 --> 00:44:55,610
Lift the cop.
807
00:45:00,111 --> 00:45:03,411
Conrad! I did it! He moved!
He really moved!
808
00:45:03,412 --> 00:45:04,712
That was wonderful, Ellen.
809
00:45:04,713 --> 00:45:06,812
Tomorrow I'll teach you to lift buildings.
810
00:45:06,813 --> 00:45:08,059
Isn't this fun?
811
00:45:08,062 --> 00:45:09,255
Hay!
812
00:45:09,514 --> 00:45:12,114
Would you kindly stop
flirting with my girl?
813
00:45:12,115 --> 00:45:14,315
I didn't mean any harm, Conrad.
814
00:45:15,416 --> 00:45:17,716
Inside, cold spaghetti, remember?
815
00:45:17,717 --> 00:45:18,917
Cold spaghetti nothing.
816
00:45:18,918 --> 00:45:20,818
You got a hot chile look in your eye!
817
00:45:26,319 --> 00:45:27,919
Look, look, here he comes.
818
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:29,419
Probably end up in jail.
819
00:45:29,820 --> 00:45:32,220
We can't do that. It would
spoil our whole day.
820
00:45:32,921 --> 00:45:35,821
Watch him. I'll give him an 8 the easy way.
821
00:45:49,622 --> 00:45:51,422
You know your way back
home, don't you fella?
822
00:45:51,423 --> 00:45:53,423
Well, I found my way to the earth didn't I?
823
00:45:53,431 --> 00:45:56,431
That's a lot easier than finding
your way out of a turnpike.
824
00:45:57,625 --> 00:46:00,741
Well... thanks
for the car, Conrad.
825
00:46:01,012 --> 00:46:02,609
I'll be careful.
826
00:46:28,226 --> 00:46:31,226
These turnpikes are murder. Ain't they bud?
827
00:46:31,227 --> 00:46:33,227
They're not so bad, just follow me.
828
00:46:51,628 --> 00:46:53,628
Flash! Ladies and gentlemen,
829
00:46:53,629 --> 00:46:56,029
the most remarkable event
in the history of Virginia
830
00:46:56,030 --> 00:46:57,730
has just occurred in Manassas.
831
00:46:57,731 --> 00:47:00,131
At exactly 9:37 am,
832
00:47:00,132 --> 00:47:01,732
at the Richmond interchange...
833
00:47:02,085 --> 00:47:04,608
Mary had a wittle wamb.
834
00:47:04,841 --> 00:47:07,708
Its fleece was white as snow
835
00:47:07,852 --> 00:47:10,680
and everywhere that Mary went
836
00:47:10,868 --> 00:47:13,509
the wamb was sure to go.
837
00:47:19,433 --> 00:47:20,933
Hi Clementine.
838
00:47:29,534 --> 00:47:32,634
Hi honey, how are you?
839
00:47:34,135 --> 00:47:35,735
Now what's this all about?
840
00:47:35,736 --> 00:47:39,038
Everyday the same old routine.
841
00:47:39,041 --> 00:47:41,237
And I'm getting pretty tired of it.
842
00:47:41,438 --> 00:47:45,538
Here he comes, the terror of Manassas.
843
00:47:48,039 --> 00:47:50,639
Here here now neighbors should be friends.
844
00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:52,240
I want you two to shake hands.
845
00:47:52,241 --> 00:47:54,741
I positively refuse!
846
00:47:56,442 --> 00:48:00,042
Right in the eye. You call her a lady?
847
00:48:00,043 --> 00:48:01,743
Alright now stop this bickering
848
00:48:01,744 --> 00:48:04,244
and I'm not leaving here until
you two kiss and makeup.
849
00:48:04,245 --> 00:48:08,845
I won't kiss him but he can kiss me.
850
00:48:13,246 --> 00:48:15,846
There, now that wasn't so terrible was it.
851
00:48:18,543 --> 00:48:21,343
Dames, she really loves it.
852
00:48:28,048 --> 00:48:29,421
Mrs. Spelding...
853
00:48:29,424 --> 00:48:32,048
Shh! I'm eavesdropping.
854
00:48:32,049 --> 00:48:35,449
Rogers been in there listening
to Mr Abercrombie for almost an hour.
855
00:48:35,450 --> 00:48:36,950
I don't like that Ambercrombie.
856
00:48:37,451 --> 00:48:39,951
I'm sure Rogers going to lose his job.
857
00:48:40,552 --> 00:48:43,052
Don't you worry about that Mrs Spelding.
858
00:48:44,253 --> 00:48:46,453
You've made a few mistakes
too many old man.
859
00:48:47,554 --> 00:48:49,154
George if you're saying.
860
00:48:49,155 --> 00:48:50,855
I'm saying that viewer wise,
861
00:48:50,856 --> 00:48:53,154
sponsor wise, information wise.
862
00:48:53,155 --> 00:48:56,255
You Spelding are low man on the totem pole.
863
00:48:56,258 --> 00:48:59,758
The flag is down the lifeboats
are gone and the ship is sinking.
864
00:49:00,059 --> 00:49:02,759
- And I'm the captain?
- But not for long.
865
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:05,160
You're going down for the third time.
866
00:49:05,861 --> 00:49:07,061
Who's this joker?
867
00:49:07,062 --> 00:49:09,362
Kreton? Oh, he's a visitor here.
868
00:49:09,847 --> 00:49:11,747
Last night about 7 o'clock
869
00:49:11,881 --> 00:49:14,592
Mary had a wittle wamb
its fleece was white as.
870
00:49:14,664 --> 00:49:17,564
Spelding! Are you in your second childhood?
871
00:49:18,519 --> 00:49:21,765
Yes sir, there's no other explanation.
872
00:49:22,166 --> 00:49:26,066
Abercrombie, I've been looking forward
to meeting you for a long time.
873
00:49:26,067 --> 00:49:27,467
You've always been A-1 on my ship
874
00:49:27,468 --> 00:49:29,668
ever since the lifeboat
went up the totem pole.
875
00:49:30,569 --> 00:49:31,869
I beg your pardon?
876
00:49:31,870 --> 00:49:34,770
What I mean to say man, you're
the talk of Madison Avenue.
877
00:49:34,771 --> 00:49:39,271
Oh? Oh well... aren't you
exaggerating a trifle?
878
00:49:39,274 --> 00:49:43,257
Not a bit. How about that humdinger
of a deal you pulled on
879
00:49:43,258 --> 00:49:45,573
BB. DD. JJ. And W, eh?
880
00:49:46,474 --> 00:49:49,974
You really gave them the old
stabbed in the back. Knife wise.
881
00:49:50,675 --> 00:49:52,875
I really pulled a fast one there didn't I.
882
00:49:54,276 --> 00:49:55,276
Wait a minute.
883
00:49:55,277 --> 00:49:58,881
Nobody knew about the BB. DD.
JJ. And W deal, not even W.
884
00:49:58,884 --> 00:50:00,381
How did you find out?
885
00:50:00,382 --> 00:50:02,382
Well don't tell me. From my wife.
886
00:50:02,383 --> 00:50:04,017
No! Eloise.
887
00:50:04,020 --> 00:50:06,929
Shh! Nobody knows about Eloise.
888
00:50:06,932 --> 00:50:08,263
Not even your wife.
889
00:50:08,285 --> 00:50:09,485
- Are you sure?
- I'm sure.
890
00:50:09,488 --> 00:50:10,459
He's sure.
891
00:50:10,467 --> 00:50:12,374
Oh, good good.
892
00:50:12,387 --> 00:50:14,987
You see when a man has a wife like mine
893
00:50:14,988 --> 00:50:17,788
and Eloise, like Eloise.
894
00:50:17,789 --> 00:50:20,689
Well, he can get in an awful mess.
895
00:50:20,697 --> 00:50:22,697
Would you pardon me, I want
to get some more ice.
896
00:50:22,700 --> 00:50:23,270
Sure.
897
00:50:24,189 --> 00:50:26,189
What's he thinking about?
Am I going to lose my job?
898
00:50:26,192 --> 00:50:28,792
Very important to get rid of Spelding.
899
00:50:28,793 --> 00:50:30,213
I'm sunk.
900
00:50:30,216 --> 00:50:32,127
Oh no your not.
901
00:50:32,130 --> 00:50:34,019
Oh, eh, Spelding.
902
00:50:34,494 --> 00:50:37,194
I suggest we let this simmer
in the pot for a while.
903
00:50:37,195 --> 00:50:40,793
And about that BB. DD. JJ. And W business.
904
00:50:40,794 --> 00:50:43,594
And... Eloise.
905
00:50:43,597 --> 00:50:45,601
This is strictly "entre nous" of course.
906
00:50:45,604 --> 00:50:46,265
Oh of course.
907
00:50:46,296 --> 00:50:47,794
I won't say a word.
908
00:50:47,797 --> 00:50:50,097
No, not as long as you still have
your job eh, Mr Spelding.
909
00:50:50,100 --> 00:50:52,100
Oh I get it, blackmail!
910
00:50:52,101 --> 00:50:54,401
It's not bad... blackmail.
911
00:50:54,402 --> 00:50:56,602
No, I use it all the time myself.
912
00:50:57,592 --> 00:51:00,790
You got quite a future in the
advertising game young man.
913
00:51:02,408 --> 00:51:03,908
Cheerio.
914
00:51:05,589 --> 00:51:07,889
- Goodbye George.
- Oh, goodbye Reba.
915
00:51:07,892 --> 00:51:09,576
Remember me to your charming wife.
916
00:51:10,507 --> 00:51:12,580
Oh, yes of course.
917
00:51:14,868 --> 00:51:17,981
Thanks, my boy. You saved my neck.
918
00:51:17,982 --> 00:51:19,337
Well, I don't like him.
919
00:51:19,340 --> 00:51:20,740
How everything go dear?
920
00:51:20,783 --> 00:51:23,383
Fine, just fine, thanks
to our young friend here.
921
00:51:23,384 --> 00:51:25,384
He really straiten old George out.
922
00:51:25,385 --> 00:51:26,985
Glade to have been of service, sir.
923
00:51:28,411 --> 00:51:32,086
Aah. What a great son in law he'd make.
924
00:51:32,587 --> 00:51:35,987
- You mean instead of Conrad?
- I certainly do.
925
00:51:35,988 --> 00:51:40,134
I don't know... Sputniks,
for grandchildren
926
00:51:40,345 --> 00:51:42,689
but I don't think parents should interfere,
927
00:51:42,690 --> 00:51:47,090
mine didn't or I wouldn't be Mrs.
Roger Putnam, Spelding. Goodbye dear.
928
00:51:52,991 --> 00:51:56,400
Conrad, you know what I
think we oughta do tonight?
929
00:51:56,447 --> 00:51:59,207
- Get married?
- No, silly.
930
00:51:59,238 --> 00:52:01,793
I think we should take
Kreton to the "Hungry Brain."
931
00:52:01,796 --> 00:52:04,115
- He might enjoy it.
- I wouldn't enjoy it.
932
00:52:04,116 --> 00:52:05,296
Not with him.
933
00:52:05,895 --> 00:52:08,421
- You're jealous.
- I can't help it.
934
00:52:08,424 --> 00:52:09,897
Baby doll, marry me.
935
00:52:10,896 --> 00:52:14,295
Darling I can't. Daddy would be furious.
936
00:52:14,298 --> 00:52:16,597
If your daddy thought it would get
me out of his bedroom tonight.
937
00:52:16,598 --> 00:52:18,417
He'd forge the wedding license.
938
00:52:18,499 --> 00:52:21,399
Darling, I just can't marry you.
939
00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:26,000
Your sweet, but maybe
what I really want,
940
00:52:26,001 --> 00:52:30,301
what I really need, is someone
to drag me around be the hair.
941
00:52:34,502 --> 00:52:36,402
Oh, you started. Good.
942
00:52:36,403 --> 00:52:39,603
Oh don't mind me,
I won't make a sound.
943
00:52:39,604 --> 00:52:42,304
I'll just sit back here and take notes.
You go right ahead.
944
00:52:42,305 --> 00:52:45,805
Kreton, we went all
through that this morning.
945
00:52:45,808 --> 00:52:48,008
It's not polite to snoop on people.
946
00:52:48,009 --> 00:52:49,526
That's right mister.
947
00:52:49,529 --> 00:52:51,253
Well, I didn't mean any harm. I'm sorry.
948
00:52:51,408 --> 00:52:55,051
Kreton, Conrad and I have decided
to take you out tonight.
949
00:52:55,122 --> 00:52:56,466
You decided..
950
00:52:56,469 --> 00:52:57,632
We decided.
951
00:52:57,635 --> 00:52:58,799
No we didn't.
952
00:52:58,802 --> 00:53:00,182
Yes we did!
953
00:53:00,185 --> 00:53:01,560
Well, I'm not going!
954
00:53:01,570 --> 00:53:03,028
Then will go alone!
955
00:53:03,112 --> 00:53:06,256
Mister, I don't approve of my girl
going out with strange men.
956
00:53:06,259 --> 00:53:08,613
Kreton is not strange!
957
00:53:08,646 --> 00:53:10,546
They don't come any stranger!
958
00:53:14,921 --> 00:53:19,321
Kreton, you and I are going
to The Hungry Brain tonight.
959
00:53:19,416 --> 00:53:21,016
Oh wonderful!
960
00:53:22,107 --> 00:53:23,107
What is it?
961
00:53:23,218 --> 00:53:26,318
Well, it's our favorite rendezvous.
And it's out of this world.
962
00:53:26,319 --> 00:53:28,619
Out of this world? I'd better dress for it.
963
00:53:58,720 --> 00:53:59,763
Well, here we are.
964
00:53:59,766 --> 00:54:01,031
On the moon?
965
00:54:01,034 --> 00:54:02,470
On the moon! No.
966
00:54:02,580 --> 00:54:04,519
No Ellen, The Hungry Brain.
967
00:54:04,522 --> 00:54:05,922
Come on dear.
968
00:54:06,523 --> 00:54:09,623
What's the matter Ellen, you're
trembling. Did I drive too fast for you?
969
00:54:09,624 --> 00:54:14,024
No, its just that I never cross the river
before without using the bridge.
970
00:54:14,025 --> 00:54:16,625
Kreton, don't you know
what Bridges are for?
971
00:54:17,233 --> 00:54:19,594
Yeah, to shade the fish.
972
00:54:25,527 --> 00:54:27,256
Mr. Mayberry.
973
00:54:27,259 --> 00:54:29,329
Thank you!
974
00:54:34,528 --> 00:54:36,028
Let's go.
975
00:54:37,229 --> 00:54:39,132
Man, now that's out.
976
00:54:39,273 --> 00:54:40,630
That's so out,
977
00:54:40,631 --> 00:54:42,431
he ain't never been in.
978
00:55:03,924 --> 00:55:05,724
Well, real old fashioned music.
979
00:55:05,733 --> 00:55:06,733
I think this is going to be fun.
980
00:55:06,734 --> 00:55:08,043
Good evening, Miss. Spelding.
981
00:55:08,046 --> 00:55:08,734
Good evening.
982
00:55:08,735 --> 00:55:10,135
Right this way please.
983
00:55:37,136 --> 00:55:39,236
This cat must be our new leader.
984
00:55:39,537 --> 00:55:41,637
Well, if he ain't, let's elect him.
985
00:55:43,738 --> 00:55:46,658
Crazy. He's a real kook.
986
00:55:46,711 --> 00:55:48,012
Hey kook!
987
00:56:19,740 --> 00:56:23,940
Like uh... who's the new member?
988
00:56:23,941 --> 00:56:26,541
I don't know baby but he sure looks cool.
989
00:56:27,242 --> 00:56:29,442
Welcome to inner space brother.
990
00:56:29,443 --> 00:56:30,443
Thank you.
991
00:56:30,744 --> 00:56:35,044
Say, that's a real crazy looking
pair of jeans you have dad.
992
00:56:35,340 --> 00:56:37,245
Who laid the threads on you?
993
00:56:37,246 --> 00:56:38,499
Jeans? Threads?
994
00:56:38,502 --> 00:56:41,247
Like who's your tailor baby
and where can we find him?
995
00:56:41,248 --> 00:56:44,248
Oh, my Taylor. Well, do you
know where the Milky Way is?
996
00:56:44,249 --> 00:56:45,852
Yeah the...
997
00:56:46,074 --> 00:56:47,768
The Milky Way.
998
00:56:48,020 --> 00:56:50,641
Yeah, yeah the Milky Way. Go baby wale.
999
00:56:50,733 --> 00:56:53,231
Well, you turn right at the second nebula
1000
00:56:53,236 --> 00:56:56,350
and it's the third planet
at the end of the star cluster.
1001
00:56:56,353 --> 00:56:59,053
You just ask for Mr De Milo
and tell him I sent ya'.
1002
00:56:59,761 --> 00:57:01,561
Man this cat talks off the top.
1003
00:57:02,455 --> 00:57:03,955
He's tuned in.
1004
00:57:03,956 --> 00:57:05,656
Tell me double hipness.
1005
00:57:05,657 --> 00:57:08,556
What floor do you get out of
when you split from the cloud.
1006
00:57:08,796 --> 00:57:11,012
Oh we don't use floors.
1007
00:57:11,015 --> 00:57:12,255
You don't use floors?
1008
00:57:12,256 --> 00:57:14,556
Oh no, we use fog.
1009
00:57:14,566 --> 00:57:17,866
It's much softer and far
easier to keep clean.
1010
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:19,960
Quite a group aren't they?
1011
00:57:20,561 --> 00:57:21,961
Oh yes they are.
1012
00:57:22,473 --> 00:57:25,011
Except I'm a little curious
Ellen, tell me one thing...
1013
00:57:25,144 --> 00:57:27,363
What are they: Animal,
mineral or vegetable?
1014
00:57:27,364 --> 00:57:29,764
There people silly. Beatniks.
1015
00:57:31,665 --> 00:57:35,195
Man, what we're trying
to find out is,
1016
00:57:35,242 --> 00:57:37,970
where you planted here or did
you come in on the beam?
1017
00:57:39,067 --> 00:57:41,067
He wants to know where you come from?
1018
00:57:41,068 --> 00:57:43,368
Perhaps you'd rather not tell.
1019
00:57:43,369 --> 00:57:46,869
Oh no, I don't mind. I'm sure
they won't say anything.
1020
00:57:47,370 --> 00:57:48,800
Oh I'm sorry.
1021
00:57:48,803 --> 00:57:50,670
I come from X-47.
1022
00:57:50,673 --> 00:57:53,373
I live right near that
Taylor I told you about.
1023
00:57:53,374 --> 00:57:54,672
Out past the Milky Way.
1024
00:57:54,673 --> 00:57:57,417
Out... past... The Milky Way.
1025
00:57:57,420 --> 00:57:58,375
Past.
1026
00:57:58,674 --> 00:58:01,474
Oh man, this cat really from out of town.
1027
00:58:01,975 --> 00:58:03,675
Alright boys take five.
1028
00:58:15,176 --> 00:58:17,200
Hey man, we've been watching
you from the bandstand.
1029
00:58:17,201 --> 00:58:17,876
Oh really?
1030
00:58:17,877 --> 00:58:20,177
Yeah, you look out enough to make it.
1031
00:58:20,178 --> 00:58:22,078
Would you dig wailing with the group?
1032
00:58:22,079 --> 00:58:24,479
Oh well, thank you,
but I'm not a musician.
1033
00:58:24,780 --> 00:58:27,080
Although, I think
I would like to play those.
1034
00:58:27,081 --> 00:58:28,781
- The skins?
- Skins?
1035
00:58:28,782 --> 00:58:30,682
The bongos man!
1036
00:58:30,854 --> 00:58:32,650
Oh yeah, the bongos.
1037
00:58:32,653 --> 00:58:34,590
Crazy, let's make it.
1038
00:58:38,874 --> 00:58:40,674
Like now let's split.
1039
00:58:40,785 --> 00:58:45,285
Well, if it's all the same to you,
I think I'd like to play them from here.
1040
00:58:47,886 --> 00:58:50,590
You want to play those... from there?
1041
00:58:50,749 --> 00:58:51,763
Yeah.
1042
00:59:49,279 --> 00:59:51,087
Kreton, how did you do that?
1043
00:59:52,043 --> 00:59:53,085
Oh, uh...
1044
00:59:53,088 --> 00:59:56,013
Well, it's quite simple,
see, many, many diffren...
1045
00:59:56,016 --> 00:59:59,499
♪ Scoobe doobie, swilly a dow. Ah ow? ♪
1046
00:59:59,710 --> 01:00:02,984
♪ Oobie doobie cow. ♪
1047
01:00:03,722 --> 01:00:06,080
♪ Ooh be do be, dilla bop. ♪
1048
01:00:07,038 --> 01:00:11,179
♪ Diddy boo ooya coo. Mop mop! ♪
1049
01:00:11,897 --> 01:00:14,386
♪ Flu te flu tits city a twee. ♪
1050
01:00:14,389 --> 01:00:15,877
♪ Ot ee. ♪
This is a very sad story.
1051
01:00:15,880 --> 01:00:16,587
♪ Flu te flu tits, twee ♪
this is a very sad story.
1052
01:00:16,590 --> 01:00:18,621
♪ Flu te flu tits, twee ♪
you see it's all about a girl who
1053
01:00:18,624 --> 01:00:20,888
fell in love with a no good rat nick,
1054
01:00:20,891 --> 01:00:23,607
and it's very touching actually.
1055
01:00:23,610 --> 01:00:24,497
♪ Oo la ve, ♪
1056
01:00:24,500 --> 01:00:27,265
♪ Oo dwi. Ot ot! ♪
1057
01:00:27,532 --> 01:00:28,952
♪ Dilly boo-din' flop-n'? ♪
1058
01:00:28,955 --> 01:00:31,595
♪ Do ba re ba. Boo a-suya voodoo ♪
1059
01:00:31,598 --> 01:00:33,721
♪ foo ya oo ya foo ya oo ya. ♪
1060
01:00:33,724 --> 01:00:36,895
♪ Cuckoo cuckoo cuckoo! ♪
1061
01:00:36,902 --> 01:00:38,487
Cuckoo!
1062
01:00:38,490 --> 01:00:42,004
♪ Scoo be do be Ida bip. Ah ipp? ♪
1063
01:00:42,558 --> 01:00:44,875
♪ Scoo be do be fl-ip. ♪
1064
01:00:46,096 --> 01:00:48,944
♪ Skoo de do Dee bitty a dop. ♪
1065
01:00:50,076 --> 01:00:51,881
♪ Oh video, oh rideo, ♪
1066
01:00:52,151 --> 01:00:54,261
♪ Mop mop. ♪
1067
01:00:54,395 --> 01:00:58,938
A little kids a drop deserted her.
Oh my god. Why?
1068
01:00:59,447 --> 01:01:02,125
♪ Dilla boo din flopa' do boo re ba boo ♪
1069
01:01:02,128 --> 01:01:05,346
♪ ya suua' voodoo vooya' ooya coo ya ooya ♪
1070
01:01:05,347 --> 01:01:09,482
♪ Cuckoo cuckoo cuckoo! ♪
1071
01:01:09,483 --> 01:01:10,874
.
Cuckoo!
1072
01:01:10,877 --> 01:01:12,047
♪ Scoo be do bee Ida bip. Ah ipp? ♪
Cuckoo!
1073
01:01:12,050 --> 01:01:14,344
♪ Scoo be do bee Ida bip. Ah ipp? ♪
1074
01:01:14,448 --> 01:01:17,155
♪ Scoo be do bee foo lip. ♪
1075
01:01:18,315 --> 01:01:20,694
♪ Roo de do de vidia dop. ♪
1076
01:01:21,697 --> 01:01:23,880
♪ Oh video, oh rideo, ♪
1077
01:01:23,952 --> 01:01:27,077
♪ Mop mop? ♪
1078
01:01:30,992 --> 01:01:33,092
Oh, I'll be alright.
1079
01:01:33,093 --> 01:01:36,993
It was a lovely number. To bad
she left out the best part.
1080
01:01:37,507 --> 01:01:39,407
What part did she leave out?
1081
01:01:40,298 --> 01:01:41,298
The part...
1082
01:01:42,028 --> 01:01:43,980
Where her father makes it like he...
1083
01:01:44,661 --> 01:01:45,879
He doesn't know he did...
1084
01:01:48,984 --> 01:01:51,125
I get all chocked up when I hear...
1085
01:01:58,395 --> 01:02:00,295
Do you mind if I borrow your man?
1086
01:02:00,996 --> 01:02:02,508
No, I won't.
1087
01:02:02,511 --> 01:02:04,896
Life's a drag daddy-o.
1088
01:02:05,084 --> 01:02:06,323
Let's make it.
1089
01:02:06,768 --> 01:02:08,897
Oh, thanks you, but I'm with her.
1090
01:02:08,968 --> 01:02:11,568
No daddy-o, you're with "it".
1091
01:02:17,127 --> 01:02:18,627
Come on, honey.
1092
01:02:19,416 --> 01:02:23,016
Buzz over to my "hive".
1093
01:02:26,401 --> 01:02:29,501
Just watch my hand closely.
1094
01:02:30,602 --> 01:02:35,502
Nooo, you're watching too hard.
1095
01:02:35,503 --> 01:02:37,903
Just cool it man, cool it.
1096
01:02:38,370 --> 01:02:39,097
See.
1097
01:02:43,804 --> 01:02:46,004
- There we go.
- Crazy.
1098
01:05:18,005 --> 01:05:20,905
Mr. Delton should see me now.
1099
01:05:20,906 --> 01:05:24,306
I can young man. I see you very well.
1100
01:05:30,507 --> 01:05:33,007
Kreton, you were just wonderful.
1101
01:05:33,008 --> 01:05:35,708
Oh, it wasn't anything.
Sometimes you do things
1102
01:05:35,709 --> 01:05:39,181
and your not really aware what's going
on because your just doing...
1103
01:05:40,928 --> 01:05:42,802
Ellen, what are you doing under the table?
1104
01:05:42,811 --> 01:05:44,211
- I've had it!
- This is ridiculous.
1105
01:05:44,219 --> 01:05:46,819
Shave my beard and call me normal!
Let's go!
1106
01:05:47,535 --> 01:05:49,582
Oh I didn't mean it!
1107
01:05:51,219 --> 01:05:52,149
Don't be scared!
1108
01:05:53,341 --> 01:05:54,094
I didn't...
1109
01:05:54,097 --> 01:05:55,215
Wait a minuet. I...
1110
01:05:55,313 --> 01:05:58,113
Kreton, will you come down from there?
1111
01:05:58,114 --> 01:06:02,514
I'm sorry, Ellen, I guess Mr. Delton
saw more than I figured.
1112
01:06:10,415 --> 01:06:12,615
What are those cars doing over there?
1113
01:06:12,616 --> 01:06:14,316
That's inspiration point.
1114
01:06:14,317 --> 01:06:17,017
Don't they have a lover's Lane
where you come from?
1115
01:06:17,018 --> 01:06:19,118
Oh no. We gave that up a long time ago.
1116
01:06:19,119 --> 01:06:21,219
Along with mahjong and community singing.
1117
01:06:22,520 --> 01:06:25,720
Would you like to go over and...
Park for a while?
1118
01:06:25,721 --> 01:06:28,021
Yeah, that might be interesting.
1119
01:06:30,922 --> 01:06:32,522
Hey, kill the lights!
1120
01:06:32,523 --> 01:06:33,523
Turn them off!
1121
01:06:33,524 --> 01:06:34,743
Turn those lights down!
1122
01:06:39,024 --> 01:06:39,672
Turn those lights down!
1123
01:06:39,675 --> 01:06:40,500
Turn off those lights.
1124
01:06:47,925 --> 01:06:50,002
It seems pretty dull to me.
1125
01:06:50,005 --> 01:06:52,525
They're just sitting there
and they're not even talking.
1126
01:06:52,526 --> 01:06:55,426
The reason they're not talking
is because they're cuddling.
1127
01:06:56,127 --> 01:06:58,527
Look at that gorgeous moon.
1128
01:06:58,528 --> 01:07:00,628
Doesn't the moon mean anything to you?
1129
01:07:00,629 --> 01:07:01,576
Of course.
1130
01:07:01,631 --> 01:07:03,631
Last stop for gas before Mars.
1131
01:07:04,016 --> 01:07:07,230
The moon Kreton, spells romance.
1132
01:07:08,031 --> 01:07:11,131
That boy and that girl they're kissing.
1133
01:07:11,499 --> 01:07:13,118
The moon did that.
1134
01:07:13,788 --> 01:07:15,134
Well now?
1135
01:07:16,433 --> 01:07:18,133
Is kissing really fun?
1136
01:07:18,634 --> 01:07:21,134
Why don't you try it and find out?
1137
01:07:21,241 --> 01:07:23,634
That's a splendid idea.
I'll run over and ask them.
1138
01:07:23,637 --> 01:07:26,036
Kreton, theirs no need
to make such a long trip.
1139
01:07:26,300 --> 01:07:28,042
Stay here.
1140
01:07:28,890 --> 01:07:30,762
I believe I will try it.
1141
01:07:36,838 --> 01:07:39,538
It is sanitary but it isn't as much fun.
1142
01:07:39,539 --> 01:07:41,539
I'd better get rid of that old barrier.
1143
01:07:56,654 --> 01:07:57,924
Oh, I like that.
1144
01:07:58,734 --> 01:08:00,040
You know something?
1145
01:08:00,041 --> 01:08:01,641
We're going to do that again.
1146
01:08:01,642 --> 01:08:03,542
That's what he think.
1147
01:08:08,943 --> 01:08:12,143
Kreton this will never do,
there isn't any "oomph".
1148
01:08:12,444 --> 01:08:15,744
On the contrary, I felt a definite
ping in my left vertebrae.
1149
01:08:15,745 --> 01:08:17,385
Let's have another whirl at it.
1150
01:08:18,484 --> 01:08:19,437
Great.
1151
01:08:20,746 --> 01:08:23,246
- Oh boy.
- Another ping?
1152
01:08:23,317 --> 01:08:25,717
And a pong and a wing ding dong.
1153
01:08:33,048 --> 01:08:36,548
I melted it. I melted it.
It's the real thing.
1154
01:08:37,049 --> 01:08:38,749
I'm in love.
1155
01:08:38,750 --> 01:08:40,950
Exactly as I anticipated.
1156
01:08:40,951 --> 01:08:43,751
- He's become an earthling.
- What a wonderful feeling, Ellen.
1157
01:08:43,752 --> 01:08:48,252
He asked for it and I'm
afraid he's going to get it.
1158
01:08:52,553 --> 01:08:55,553
- What was that?
- I must have blown a fuse.
1159
01:09:23,154 --> 01:09:25,342
- Ellen, do you know why...?
- All my fault,
1160
01:09:25,476 --> 01:09:27,355
I should never have let you kiss me.
1161
01:09:27,356 --> 01:09:31,256
Well, Ellen, don't worry, I-I'm
gonna do the right thing.
1162
01:09:31,257 --> 01:09:33,657
I'm gonna ask your father,
for your hand in marriage.
1163
01:09:33,658 --> 01:09:34,958
Marriage?
1164
01:09:35,859 --> 01:09:37,519
For my hand in...?
1165
01:09:37,769 --> 01:09:40,625
Kreton, do you realize
has what you're saying?
1166
01:09:40,663 --> 01:09:42,819
Well of course I realise, Ellen.
1167
01:09:42,961 --> 01:09:45,197
And all the time you thought was a cad.
1168
01:09:45,236 --> 01:09:46,836
Well, coming up?
1169
01:09:46,837 --> 01:09:49,162
No, I think I'll go get some hot milk,
1170
01:09:49,163 --> 01:09:52,459
or cold milk or something.
1171
01:09:52,460 --> 01:09:54,117
I'll see you in the morning, Kreton.
1172
01:09:54,513 --> 01:09:55,645
Happy, Ellen?
1173
01:09:55,668 --> 01:09:58,286
Well, not exactly happy. I'm...
1174
01:09:58,287 --> 01:10:00,365
More ecstatic. Yeah, me too.
1175
01:10:00,366 --> 01:10:02,366
I'm floating on air.
1176
01:10:07,467 --> 01:10:09,245
I heard that outer-space
carpetbagger.
1177
01:10:09,248 --> 01:10:10,569
Your not going to marry him.
1178
01:10:10,983 --> 01:10:13,779
- Are you?
- Of course not, darling.
1179
01:10:13,943 --> 01:10:16,669
I just don't want to hurt his feelings.
1180
01:10:16,670 --> 01:10:19,070
What about my feelings. I'm human too.
1181
01:10:19,771 --> 01:10:22,471
What do I mean "too", he's not human.
Lord knows what he is.
1182
01:10:22,472 --> 01:10:27,072
Well, whatever he is, Kreton
is kind and sweet and nice.
1183
01:10:27,822 --> 01:10:29,873
Oh Conrad, what am I going to do?
1184
01:10:30,274 --> 01:10:31,774
You gonna marry me,
that's what your gonna do.
1185
01:10:31,775 --> 01:10:33,975
- We're going to elope.
- Oh, Conrad.
1186
01:10:33,976 --> 01:10:35,776
Just as soon as I finish this sandwich.
1187
01:10:57,677 --> 01:11:01,577
You know Rags? Ellen and I are
really meant for each other.
1188
01:11:02,278 --> 01:11:03,778
It's really true love.
1189
01:11:05,379 --> 01:11:07,379
I know Ellen and I are
from different worlds,
1190
01:11:07,380 --> 01:11:08,980
that shouldn't be an obstacle.
1191
01:11:08,981 --> 01:11:11,781
Personally don't believe
in mixed marriages.
1192
01:11:11,782 --> 01:11:14,282
- Look at me.
- Why, you look just fine.
1193
01:11:14,533 --> 01:11:19,783
Fine? My mother was a Mexican chihuahua
and my father, a Labrador retriever.
1194
01:11:19,972 --> 01:11:23,484
How'd you like to walk around
with a warm nose and a cold tail.
1195
01:11:24,633 --> 01:11:26,533
Oh Rags, goodnight.
1196
01:11:32,692 --> 01:11:35,728
That poor earthling, Conrad.
1197
01:11:36,258 --> 01:11:38,810
He thinks he's going to elope with Ellen.
1198
01:11:39,687 --> 01:11:41,587
But I know better.
1199
01:11:42,128 --> 01:11:43,788
That's what he thinks.
1200
01:11:43,789 --> 01:11:45,789
And you know what's funny, Rags?
1201
01:11:45,790 --> 01:11:50,890
Mr. Delton doesn't have the slightest
idea about what's going on.
1202
01:11:50,891 --> 01:11:52,591
That's what he thinks.
1203
01:11:52,592 --> 01:11:56,792
Mr. Delton thinks that falling
in love will get me into trouble.
1204
01:11:56,793 --> 01:12:00,593
That's what he thinks, boy is he wrong.
1205
01:12:00,594 --> 01:12:02,394
That's what he thinks.
1206
01:12:21,986 --> 01:12:24,056
♪ Ta-ta ta-de-da de da ♪
1207
01:12:24,756 --> 01:12:27,397
♪ Da-da-da, da-da-da da ♪
1208
01:12:30,395 --> 01:12:32,006
Good morning, dear.
1209
01:12:32,731 --> 01:12:34,489
Young ones not down yet?
1210
01:12:36,696 --> 01:12:40,596
Kreton, Conrad, breakfast is ready.
1211
01:12:41,087 --> 01:12:43,386
- Where's Ellen?
- I don't know.
1212
01:12:43,497 --> 01:12:45,797
She wasn't in bed when
I woke up this morning.
1213
01:12:45,798 --> 01:12:47,978
Neither was Conrad when I woke... up...
1214
01:12:48,811 --> 01:12:51,611
They both must have had
early classes today.
1215
01:13:00,719 --> 01:13:04,100
- Good morning, Mr. Spelding.
- Good morning, my boy.
1216
01:13:04,101 --> 01:13:07,501
- Well, you in a good mood I see.
- Oh, never better.
1217
01:13:07,502 --> 01:13:08,802
Listen to this:
1218
01:13:08,803 --> 01:13:11,639
"The Amalgamated Television
Network today renewed"
1219
01:13:11,640 --> 01:13:16,628
"Roger Putnam Spelding's
contract for another 5 years."
1220
01:13:16,887 --> 01:13:18,276
It's your work my boy.
1221
01:13:18,277 --> 01:13:20,206
I want you to know
that I'm deeply grateful.
1222
01:13:20,207 --> 01:13:22,307
Well, don't mention it...
1223
01:13:22,597 --> 01:13:25,008
- Dad.
- Dad?
1224
01:13:25,009 --> 01:13:28,209
- Well, Mr. Spelding...
- Yes?
1225
01:13:29,210 --> 01:13:31,645
You see, there comes a time
in every spaceman's life,
1226
01:13:31,682 --> 01:13:34,111
when he finally meets
the girl of his clouds.
1227
01:13:34,112 --> 01:13:38,412
I've put away enough blue
dingles not only to support...
1228
01:13:38,413 --> 01:13:41,113
Roger, Mr. Kreton, come quickly.
1229
01:13:41,114 --> 01:13:45,214
This is actually the uh... point I'm
uh... trying to make Mr. Spelding uh...
1230
01:13:45,215 --> 01:13:47,415
You see, Mr. Spelding... oh.
1231
01:13:48,516 --> 01:13:49,716
Now what is it?
1232
01:13:49,717 --> 01:13:52,415
- The most wonderful thing has happened.
- What happened?
1233
01:13:52,416 --> 01:13:55,416
They married. Conrad and Ellen
are husband and wife.
1234
01:13:55,434 --> 01:13:58,019
- Husband and wife?
- They did elope.
1235
01:13:58,020 --> 01:13:59,720
- You see, dad...
- Dad!?!
1236
01:13:59,721 --> 01:14:01,921
Mr. Spelding, we just had to get married.
1237
01:14:01,922 --> 01:14:03,522
What do you mean "had to?"
1238
01:14:03,523 --> 01:14:06,223
We couldn't wait another minute.
Not with him around.
1239
01:14:06,224 --> 01:14:09,153
- So we eloped.
- Eloped you, you, you...
1240
01:14:09,154 --> 01:14:10,519
- Goat herder you.
- Ellen!
1241
01:14:10,522 --> 01:14:11,166
Daddy please!
1242
01:14:11,169 --> 01:14:12,995
- I don't know why you but I...
- We thought of this...
1243
01:14:12,998 --> 01:14:16,374
Don't get upset, Mr. Spelding,
I guess the best man won.
1244
01:14:16,375 --> 01:14:18,053
- Now wait a minuet.
- Excuse me dear.
1245
01:14:18,054 --> 01:14:20,316
I don't believe the children
have had breakfast.
1246
01:14:20,317 --> 01:14:23,427
- Conrad, you will stay.
- I'll be happy to.
1247
01:14:23,885 --> 01:14:28,685
Congratulations, old man,
I hope we can still be friends.
1248
01:14:28,929 --> 01:14:31,929
You mean you don't feel
"that way" by Ellen?
1249
01:14:31,930 --> 01:14:33,830
Oh, shes like a sister to me.
1250
01:14:34,231 --> 01:14:36,270
A sister, eh, Kreton?
1251
01:14:36,435 --> 01:14:40,035
I'll just show them how you
really feel about her.
1252
01:14:43,613 --> 01:14:47,533
Ellen oh, Ellen, you babe
with that crazy build.
1253
01:14:47,534 --> 01:14:51,134
I've been watching you
shake it around this house
1254
01:14:51,135 --> 01:14:57,735
and you been watching me watching
you and its driving me mad.
1255
01:14:58,518 --> 01:14:59,433
Wow!
1256
01:14:59,436 --> 01:15:01,609
Kreton, what are you saying?
1257
01:15:01,612 --> 01:15:03,637
I do not know, someone unzipped my mind.
1258
01:15:03,638 --> 01:15:04,938
Mr. Delton. Please.
1259
01:15:04,939 --> 01:15:07,539
We don't need words honey, not you and me.
1260
01:15:07,540 --> 01:15:10,240
The first time I saw you, bells rang,
1261
01:15:10,241 --> 01:15:12,141
the earth moved.
1262
01:15:12,142 --> 01:15:16,142
It was like there was nobody
else in the world.
1263
01:15:16,143 --> 01:15:19,143
Just you and me, and the
black burning nights,
1264
01:15:19,144 --> 01:15:21,544
exploiting a thousand roman candles.
1265
01:15:21,545 --> 01:15:26,345
I propose mister that you discontinue
this line of thought at once.
1266
01:15:26,346 --> 01:15:29,646
No, no, its fascinating, really.
1267
01:15:29,647 --> 01:15:32,447
But Ellen, I didn't mean a word of it.
1268
01:15:32,448 --> 01:15:34,948
- I, I meant it, but...
- What?
1269
01:15:34,949 --> 01:15:38,149
No I didn't mean to say it.
Actually, Ellen, I...
1270
01:15:38,150 --> 01:15:42,350
And your hungry eyes, begging me,
imploring me and pleading with me,
1271
01:15:42,351 --> 01:15:44,658
to take you in my powerful arms.
1272
01:15:44,661 --> 01:15:45,853
Wow.
1273
01:15:46,952 --> 01:15:48,585
Ellen look, actually this is whole...
1274
01:15:48,586 --> 01:15:51,653
Mister the woman you love
happens to be my wife.
1275
01:15:51,654 --> 01:15:55,854
- Conrad, please.
- Wait just easy honey. Barrier nothing...
1276
01:15:56,527 --> 01:15:59,655
Conrad... go ahead.
1277
01:16:13,104 --> 01:16:14,362
CONRAD!
1278
01:16:15,249 --> 01:16:16,549
Get up.
1279
01:16:18,657 --> 01:16:20,857
Let him have it, Kreton.
1280
01:16:23,649 --> 01:16:25,058
Bop him one.
1281
01:16:25,458 --> 01:16:27,559
There will be no bopping.
1282
01:16:28,028 --> 01:16:29,482
Stand still.
1283
01:16:30,861 --> 01:16:33,161
It's stuck, Mr. Delton,
please, it won't hit.
1284
01:16:33,580 --> 01:16:35,162
- Mine won't hit.
- Hit me.
1285
01:16:35,163 --> 01:16:36,563
- Mine does not hit.
- Conrad, now stop it.
1286
01:16:36,564 --> 01:16:37,564
Mine don't hit.
1287
01:16:41,065 --> 01:16:43,265
- What's the matter, you a coward?
- That's it, yeah.
1288
01:16:43,266 --> 01:16:44,266
Fight!
1289
01:16:45,266 --> 01:16:47,023
Daddy do something.
1290
01:16:47,213 --> 01:16:48,766
With pleasure.
1291
01:16:48,767 --> 01:16:50,836
It don't hit. Its... I'd fight if.
1292
01:16:50,837 --> 01:16:53,468
- Conrad, now please.
- Well he started it.
1293
01:17:04,566 --> 01:17:06,969
Whats going on? What happens here?
1294
01:17:06,970 --> 01:17:08,570
What are you all standing around for?
1295
01:17:08,571 --> 01:17:10,071
What are you so excited about? Whats???
1296
01:17:10,072 --> 01:17:11,872
What's he doing down there?
1297
01:17:11,873 --> 01:17:13,773
I'm hanging up the phone.
1298
01:17:14,035 --> 01:17:15,035
I hit him.
1299
01:17:15,059 --> 01:17:18,074
You... you hit him and you
aren't disintegrated?
1300
01:17:18,075 --> 01:17:20,175
I can't understand it. The
boy's lost his power.
1301
01:17:20,176 --> 01:17:21,576
Lost his power?
1302
01:17:21,577 --> 01:17:25,477
Then I'm save. I can do my duty.
Oh this is a day.
1303
01:17:25,478 --> 01:17:27,578
Haven't you time for a cup
of coffee, Bob?
1304
01:17:27,579 --> 01:17:29,779
No, no, not now. Keep
him cornered Conrad.
1305
01:17:29,780 --> 01:17:31,280
I'll get the state
police right away.
1306
01:17:31,366 --> 01:17:32,572
The National Guard.
1307
01:17:32,628 --> 01:17:34,783
The commander general
of the area.
1308
01:17:35,482 --> 01:17:36,582
Excuse me.
1309
01:17:37,523 --> 01:17:39,483
Take it easy, boy, take it easy.
We'll get you up.
1310
01:17:39,484 --> 01:17:42,609
We'll get you up out of there,
come on, up we go.
1311
01:17:42,610 --> 01:17:44,352
There... there there there.
1312
01:17:44,406 --> 01:17:46,485
I said if you got up I'd hit him again.
1313
01:17:46,886 --> 01:17:49,786
Let me at him. They don't call me
the Manassas mauler for nothing.
1314
01:17:50,187 --> 01:17:52,987
- Shut up.
- I didn't mean anything...
1315
01:17:52,988 --> 01:17:55,788
- Are you alright?
- Oh yes, I'm fine. Thank you.
1316
01:17:55,789 --> 01:17:58,789
Just wet. You see, where I come
from we don't feel pain.
1317
01:17:58,792 --> 01:18:01,607
Oh, we feel wet. You'll feel wet water...
1318
01:18:01,635 --> 01:18:03,835
But you don't feel pain.
1319
01:18:03,892 --> 01:18:05,292
That's what he thinks.
1320
01:18:05,293 --> 01:18:07,393
I didn't even feel
the slightest twinge of...
1321
01:18:08,794 --> 01:18:10,094
PAIN!
1322
01:18:10,095 --> 01:18:12,795
- What is it?
- Oh my arms. Mr. Delton.
1323
01:18:12,796 --> 01:18:16,496
You wanted to be an earthling, my boy,
so take everything that goes with it.
1324
01:18:16,497 --> 01:18:18,797
Oh, the leg. Just kick
the leg, there's a pain.
1325
01:18:18,798 --> 01:18:20,298
Oh, the back is a pain.
1326
01:18:20,299 --> 01:18:24,199
There's a head... there's a stomach.
Oh, the foot is a pain...
1327
01:18:24,784 --> 01:18:26,487
Oh! No more pain!
1328
01:18:27,542 --> 01:18:29,300
Myrtle/Mabel is using the phone
gotta use your...
1329
01:18:29,301 --> 01:18:32,001
What you...? After him.
Don't let him get away.
1330
01:18:32,702 --> 01:18:35,273
- He's gonna kill me.
- Well... Ah!
1331
01:18:39,403 --> 01:18:41,103
Come back and fight like a man.
1332
01:18:41,504 --> 01:18:43,804
You fight your way, I'll fight mine.
1333
01:18:51,105 --> 01:18:52,505
Come on, open up.
1334
01:18:52,835 --> 01:18:54,106
Come out and fight.
1335
01:18:54,107 --> 01:18:56,207
I won't come out and I won't fight.
1336
01:18:56,466 --> 01:18:58,308
Come on open up, you coward.
1337
01:18:58,309 --> 01:19:00,809
That's why I won't come out,
I'm a coward. That's it.
1338
01:19:06,310 --> 01:19:07,896
A spaceman, general.
1339
01:19:07,897 --> 01:19:11,111
S-p-a-s-e. I mean: C.
1340
01:19:11,112 --> 01:19:13,312
Yes state police are on their way now, sir.
1341
01:19:13,313 --> 01:19:15,613
Oh, good, good. I hope
you can make it, sir.
1342
01:19:17,439 --> 01:19:18,791
Where's a gun?
1343
01:19:18,794 --> 01:19:20,241
- Oh Conrad.
- There's a gun.
1344
01:19:20,288 --> 01:19:23,467
Conrad, deserting your post of duty.?
1345
01:19:23,616 --> 01:19:25,616
I need this in case he tries to break out.
1346
01:19:25,617 --> 01:19:28,317
Give me that, it's just
a conversation piece any...
1347
01:19:30,418 --> 01:19:32,418
Sure talks loud, don't it?
1348
01:19:34,619 --> 01:19:35,819
Oh, the police.
1349
01:19:35,820 --> 01:19:38,620
Excuse me, I better go make
sandwiches and coffee.
1350
01:19:38,934 --> 01:19:40,721
Come on, there's nothing to be afraid of.
1351
01:19:40,722 --> 01:19:42,322
Let's get out there. Come on.
1352
01:19:42,823 --> 01:19:45,223
Well, after you folks. After you.
1353
01:19:45,224 --> 01:19:47,424
I'll stay in back so
I can plan our strategy.
1354
01:20:03,225 --> 01:20:05,225
Watch it. Watch it, he's in there.
1355
01:20:06,006 --> 01:20:08,726
He's in there men. He's in there.
1356
01:20:08,727 --> 01:20:10,127
He's in there.
1357
01:20:23,628 --> 01:20:25,028
He's jet propelled.
1358
01:20:27,129 --> 01:20:30,229
No he ain't, it's Myrtle. Myrtle did it.
Myrtle you come back here.
1359
01:20:30,616 --> 01:20:31,577
Woa!
1360
01:20:45,930 --> 01:20:47,630
Alright, out of here.
1361
01:20:48,731 --> 01:20:50,831
Out of here. You might get hurt.
1362
01:20:51,932 --> 01:20:53,832
I am hurt.
1363
01:20:54,121 --> 01:20:57,521
All right men, grab a line get moving.
Lets go.
1364
01:20:57,971 --> 01:20:59,371
Loudspeaker.
1365
01:21:03,090 --> 01:21:05,381
All right mister, we've got you covered.
1366
01:21:05,382 --> 01:21:07,475
I said, we've got you covered.
1367
01:21:07,506 --> 01:21:09,776
- Sorry.
- Certainly.
1368
01:21:10,738 --> 01:21:16,038
Myrtle, hear Myrtle. Where did you go to?
Come to papa, you hear?
1369
01:21:16,039 --> 01:21:17,539
Give me that.
1370
01:21:18,640 --> 01:21:20,440
You haven't got a chance.
1371
01:21:20,941 --> 01:21:23,041
Come out with your hands over your head..
1372
01:21:23,642 --> 01:21:26,742
I said, come out with your hands
over your head.
1373
01:21:26,993 --> 01:21:29,543
- Sorry I took so long, dear.
- Rheba.
1374
01:21:29,544 --> 01:21:31,444
- Ellen?
- No thank you.
1375
01:21:31,445 --> 01:21:33,243
Come out with your hands over your head.
1376
01:21:33,290 --> 01:21:36,246
Officer, egg salad or tuna fish sandwiches?
1377
01:21:36,348 --> 01:21:38,148
Please, ma'am, not now.
1378
01:21:38,391 --> 01:21:39,391
Conrad?
1379
01:21:39,465 --> 01:21:43,517
We mean business, if you don't come
out we'll have to use the tear gas.
1380
01:21:44,724 --> 01:21:46,667
Tear gas. That's a good idea.
1381
01:21:47,261 --> 01:21:48,168
Pardon me.
1382
01:22:01,567 --> 01:22:04,367
Their he is men. Watch him.
Keep your eyes on him.
1383
01:22:17,468 --> 01:22:20,068
The wind must have changed.
It's backfiring.
1384
01:22:20,275 --> 01:22:21,447
Watch yourself.
1385
01:22:23,269 --> 01:22:24,828
Put the women in the cars!
1386
01:22:24,831 --> 01:22:25,820
Roll up the windows!
1387
01:22:26,070 --> 01:22:27,375
Roll them up fast!
1388
01:22:27,419 --> 01:22:28,763
Myrtle.
1389
01:22:30,607 --> 01:22:31,826
Myrtle.
1390
01:22:33,203 --> 01:22:34,273
Myrtle.
1391
01:22:36,276 --> 01:22:37,331
Myrtle.
1392
01:22:42,771 --> 01:22:46,071
I can still fly. I can still fl... yow.
1393
01:22:52,072 --> 01:22:54,472
Come down out of that barn, mister.
1394
01:22:54,473 --> 01:22:55,973
I am out.
1395
01:23:10,493 --> 01:23:11,893
I'm going in.
1396
01:23:12,775 --> 01:23:15,375
The general doesn't want us to rush
the place until he gets here.
1397
01:23:15,576 --> 01:23:17,676
He's on the way
with a Life Photographer.
1398
01:23:23,077 --> 01:23:26,477
You naughty spaceship, you
shouldn't go away without me.
1399
01:23:26,478 --> 01:23:31,300
Wait, wait, slow down. Slows
down your gonna get me s... ohh.
1400
01:23:40,816 --> 01:23:43,979
Oh, I'm sorry. Hello, Mr. Delton.
It's your ship.
1401
01:23:43,980 --> 01:23:45,355
Had enough, young man?
1402
01:23:45,380 --> 01:23:47,980
Oh, yes indeed. Yes sir. I've had it.
1403
01:23:47,981 --> 01:23:51,081
Well, you always wanted to be an earthling
and now you know what its like.
1404
01:23:51,082 --> 01:23:53,682
Felt the pain of love, the pain jealousy...
1405
01:23:53,683 --> 01:23:55,609
And the pain of pain. And
that is the worst pain.
1406
01:23:55,612 --> 01:23:58,884
This is a crazy mixed up planet,
Mr. Delton. I'd like to get out of here.
1407
01:23:58,885 --> 01:24:00,485
And you'll never come back again?
1408
01:24:00,486 --> 01:24:03,486
Never. I promise. The furthest
I'll never go is the moon.
1409
01:24:03,487 --> 01:24:05,787
You've learnt a good lesson, my boy.
1410
01:24:05,788 --> 01:24:10,088
Remember, the grass is always greener
on the other side of the universe.
1411
01:24:10,089 --> 01:24:12,689
So keep your nose out of
other people's planets.
1412
01:24:12,690 --> 01:24:14,690
And from now on, I will.
1413
01:24:17,091 --> 01:24:20,791
Sorry, Mr. Delton, I hit my...
1414
01:24:32,070 --> 01:24:33,781
- Mr. Mayberry?
- Sir.
1415
01:24:33,798 --> 01:24:35,098
Wheres that man space?
1416
01:24:36,594 --> 01:24:41,294
Spaceman general? There
ain't no such animal.
1417
01:24:46,295 --> 01:24:49,495
So long, earth. It been lots of...
1418
01:24:50,958 --> 01:24:51,864
Mr. Delton.
1419
01:24:52,996 --> 01:24:54,296
Oh, Mr. Delton!
1420
01:24:56,497 --> 01:24:58,797
Mr. Delton help.
1421
01:24:59,298 --> 01:25:02,998
Help! Mr. Del-ton!
1422
01:25:04,182 --> 01:25:05,159
Help me!
105309
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