All language subtitles for The Carmichael Show s03e03_English

"The Charmichael Show" is taped in
front of a live studio audience.

You know, being back here
at my mom's house

brings back a lot of memories.

Most of 'em bad.

But good ones, too.

Like here, I called this
my happy chair.

This the one place
in the house

my dad never beat me.

Mm, it is comfy.

You know, I can see why Mom

never wants to come down
to South Carolina with us.

You know there's not a single
picture of her in this house.

Well, I'm sure there's
a picture of your mama

up in here somewhere.

Dad, Grandma
has a picture

of you alone
on your wedding day.

Well, see, that's because
your mama and your grandmother

always had
a very tense relationship.

Yeah, Daddy,
why they never got along?

Well, your grandmother
always wanted me

to marry a lighter
skinned woman.

She tried to like your mama,
but she always thought

she was just a little too dark.

Dad, that's crazy.
I'm sure Grandma doesn't care

what color skin Mom has.

Yes, she does.

See, your grandma came through
a very turbulent time

in history and to her,
lighter skin meant less pain,

less suffering.

She always thought if
I could marry lighter,

that you boys would
have a easier time

to make it
in the world.

You see, kids, sometimes racism
stems from a place of love.

You know something, Daddy,
I've always said this to myself:

I was just three shades away
from greatness.

There she is.

Aw, look at my boys.

It's like three Snicker bars
came to life.

Was that a comment
about our complexion?

Absolutely.

Okay, gather around.

I got some important news
I need to share with you.

Joe, you might want
to sit down for this.

Mom, what is it?
Is everything okay?

Honey, sit down.

(Joe sighs)

Okay, there's no
easy way to say this,

so I'm just gonna come out
and tell you.

I've been diagnosed
with Alzheimer's.

Wait. That's your news?

Well, I'm sorry to have
to break it to you this way.

Uh, Mom, we've known
about this for six months.

Wait, you mean
I told you this already?

Yes.

For real?

This news is even sadder
the second time around.

Grandma,
how have you been feeling?

Well, it's been
a struggle,

but I'm feeling better
now that I've decided

to take matters
into my own hands

and end my life myself.

Mom.
Oh, I'm sorry,

have I... did I tell you
that news already, too?

(sighs) No, you didn't
tell us that news.

Good, then that's the news
I wanted to tell you.

♪ ♪

Mom, saying you're gonna
end your own life is crazy.

Maybe you're having a bad day.

I‐I‐I know Alzheimer's
is‐is hard,

but‐but have you been
getting out the house enough?

I mean, have you been
seeing your friends?

Maybe we need to spruce this
place up, get you some plants

or‐or a dog.

Dad, I don't...
I don't think a dog's

a great idea,
considering her condition.

You know, you got to...

take it out, feed it,

remember that you have it.

Joe, I'm confused all the time
and I'm scared,

scared of what's coming.

I'm losing who I am.

But, Ma,
you used to be so active.

You had all those hobbies.

Oh, I didn't
like that stuff,

I just wanted
to get out the house

to keep your father
from beating me.

Trust me,

every woman in a pottery class
is crying out for help.

Mom, maybe you could move up
to North Carolina with us.

We'll take care of you,
make you feel comfortable,

cook for you, help you get
to your‐your appointments.

Joe, I got to make this decision
while I still can.

The other day, I was staring at
a photo of me hugging some woman

I didn't even
recognize.

I had to read the inscription
on the back to find out that

that woman was
my best friend for 40 years.

Grandma, that's the saddest
thing I ever heard.

Oh, don't feel sad for me.
I had a good life.

Especially growing up
a poor black woman

who lived through Jim Crow.

I mean, just not being
raped or killed by the Klan,

I'd say I did all right
for myself.

That's the saddest thing
I ever heard.

But I need you, Grandma.
And I love you.

Look, you always
been there for me.

You know, and you give me money
at all my birthdays.

I know this is kind
of embarrassing to admit,

but... you don't know
how many times

that $15 saved my ass.

Mom, I'm calling your doctor
first thing in the morning

and I'm getting him
to up your meds.

All that medication does
is make me more confused

and sick to my stomach.
But, Ma,

you can still live another
five or ten years with this.

I'm making a choice, Joe:

to go out the way I
want to, with dignity.

Now, I've saved enough pain
medication to get the job done.

And I have everything I
need to do this tonight.

Tonight?

Tonight?

And you're just
telling us this?

Well, I didn't want you to
have to carry it around

and I didn't want
to worry you.

And I thought I had
told you this last week.

No, no, no.

This isn't happening at all,
let alone tonight.

Mom, you go to get this
nonsense out of your head.

Joe, I know it's
hard, honey,

and I know it's a lot,

but I'm serious
about ending my life

and I need your blessing.

(timer dings)
Uh‐oh.

Snickerdoodles are ready.

Man...

if I'd have known Grandma
was gonna kill herself,

I would have wore
a different outfit.

We got to get these thoughts
out of her head.

I don't know, Dad.

I mean, I don't want Grandma to
go through with this either,

but think about it like this:
Grandma wants to go out on top.

I mean, wouldn't you have rather
seen Michael Jordan retire

after hitting that three‐pointer
against the Jazz in '98

instead of seeing this dude
way past his prime

in a Wizards jersey?

Don't make Grandma
play for the Wizards.

Why did we let Mike
do that to himself?

Was our greed too much?
Huh?

Did our eyes get bigger
and more lustful

than our stomachs can handle?

Did we?

Answer me, please.

I mean, maybe she's making
the right decision.

Look, she is an adult,
and we're gonna have to

just respect her judgment
on this, right?

Are you crazy?

This woman is suffering

from a brain disease.

She is the last
person on Earth

whose judgment we
need to start trusting.

I don't even trust her
to use the oven right now.

(chuckles)
I mean,

yeah, I'm not eating
those cookies.

Look, she couldn't even
remember her best friend

she'd known for years.

So you mean to tell me
she gonna know the difference

between suicide pills
and brown sugar?

Come on, y'all.

I don't know, I just
don't think it's right

to say that she's
out of her mind.

She seems to know exactly
what she wants to do.

Well, this is easy
for you to accept

because you only see
an old lady.

But that's my mother.

Now, how would you feel if this
was happening to your mother?

Nah, we couldn't
let her do that.

But, Dad...

if you ever wanted
to kill yourself,

I would respect
your decision.

We're talking about suicide.

You do realize
how wrong that is

morally, legally‐‐

it even says so
in the Bible.

Daddy, that's not a fact.
I mean, you know,

the Bible got a lot
of hidden loopholes, you know?

You know, you just got
to skim through it,

and you got to accept it
like one of those

Apple user agreements.

I am sure glad
your mama's not here

to see any of this.

It doesn't matter
if it's biblically wrong

or legally wrong,
what matters is

what's best for Grandma,
let's not forget that.

So you're really gonna
be able to sleep at night

knowing you stood by and watched
someone that you love

take their own life?

Well, what's
the other option?

Forcing her to live a life
against her will?

You're damn straight!
I've been doing that for years!

Dad, I get it.

I know this is hard.

I know it's really,
really tough,

but a lot of families
have to go through

making a decision
to pull the plug.

Yeah, but this is not
no pull‐the‐plug situation.

This is pulling the plug
out the wall

and strangling her
with the cord.

Okay, here they are,
your favorites,

my snickerdoodle
cookies.

Okay, let's start
talking game plan

for how we gonna kill me.

Wait...

There is no game plan
because this isn't happening.

I'm in this
all by myself?

No, Grandma, you're
not. I'm with you.

Yeah, me, too.

I don't want
to see you suffer.

Has this whole family
lost its damn mind?

Well, Jerrod, I guess you gonna
have to be my pillow man.

What's a pillow man?

Well, in case the pills
only do half the job,

I need somebody I trust
standing over me with a pillow,

ready to finish the deed.

That can't be a real
thing, can it?

BOBBY:
Well, Grandma,

you got a pillow
preference? Um...

Do you want to do
Bless This House

or Faith Love Hope?
Which one?

Let's let
the pillow man decide.

I'm not deciding
which uplifting pillow

to kill my
grandmother with.

But if you had to choose?

Faith Love Hope.

My man.

I can't believe I'm
saying this, Jerrod,

but I'm not gonna stand here
and let you kill my mama.

I know it's one
of these. Ha!

I got the pills!

Ain't nobody dying
on my watch.

What you think about that, you
two little black‐ass Kevorkians?

Dad.

You got some nerve
coming up in here

after you threatening
to kill my mama. Murderer!

Dad, stop yelling.

You're embarrassing us
in front of people at Wendy's,

which is
really hard to do.

Why did you follow me?

I wanted to see
if you were okay.

I guess I got so caught up
in how Grandma felt

I forgot to see
how you felt.

You know, when
I was a kid,

my daddy used to
come home drunk,

ready to beat the
hell out of me,

and my mama would
do whatever it took

to keep that
from happening.

She saved my life.

My daddy was a big man.

But she'd put herself between
us and took that beating.

She rescued me when I was
at my most vulnerable.

And now that she's at
her most vulnerable,

all I want to do...

is save her, but
she won't let me.

Dad, this...

this isn't a problem
that you can save her from.

Yes, I can, long as
I got these pills.

Look, it doesn't matter
that you have the pills.

She's determined
to do this, you know.

Sh‐She'll just find
another way.

She'll jump off a bridge

or walk in front of a truck
or sit in a car...

I got it. Okay.

You were right
about something, okay?

I am a little removed.

It is harder to lose a mother
than it is a grandmother.

But maybe, maybe that's
what you need right now, Dad‐‐

someone who can be
a little objective.

All right?
And what I see is a woman

who is determined to do this
with or without you.

I don't know if
I can walk around

knowing I let my
mama die like that.

(sighs)

But, Dad,

the only other option
that you have is knowing

that you're walking around
without...

ever having the chance
to say good‐bye.

Man, that's some heavy stuff
right there.

(grunts)

(sighs)
Took you long enough.

Look, do you know how hard it is
to entertain

a suicidal grandmother?

Especially on an empty stomach.

I'm sorry, Bobby. Next
time I'll try and get Dad

to accept his mom's
death faster.

See that you do.

Hey. I knew you'd come back.

Sorry I left.

(sighs) But I was just
trying to protect you

the way you always
protected me.

You are protecting me,

by letting me do this

and being here
to hold my hand.

Well, I don't know if
I'm as strong as you are,

but I'll do my best.

I love you, baby.

And I'm so proud
of the man you've become.

Look how you raised your boys.

You're a so much better father
than the one you had.

Thank you, Mom.

Of course now, the bar
wasn't raised that high.

All you had to do was not
beat your entire family.

So good job, son.

Now, baby, you don't have
to be here while I take these.

No, I want to be here.

(exhales)

All right, boys, come on in.

Hey, Grandma.
How are you feeling?

Anything we can get you?

I'm okay, sweetheart.

Man.

This could very well be our
last moments with our grandma.

Bobby, these are definitely our
last moments with our grandma.

(exhales)

Look, Grandma, there's something
that I've been meaning

to get off my chest for,
like, 20 years, and I just...

I guess I'll just tell you now.

When I was eight, I stole
ten dollars from your purse

to go to the ice cream truck.

I'm so sorry, Grandma.

Oh, that's all right, sweetie.

All you got to do
is give me my money back...

...and we'll be even‐steven.

(laughs)

Oh.

Oh, oh, you're serious.

I mean, all I got is this 20.

Inflation.

Man, you'll get that back
in a minute.

Grandma, there's...
I don't know,

there's so much I want
to say to you right now,

I don't know where to begin,
I mean, last words are tough.

I really want to make sure I
say the right thing to you.

Now, baby,
don't put too much on this.

We've had a lot
of great times over the years.

And there's nothing
we need to say now

that we haven't
said already.

We just want to make
this special for you.

Okay, I'll tell you what.

I didn't eat dinner,

and that Wendy's
is smelling pretty good.

So why don't you hand me
a burger,

and we'll just let that be
our last great moment together?

Of course, Grandma,
anything you want.

Oh, shoot.

It got cheese on it.

That's okay.

You know, Mom, we could
always take the cheese off.

No, baby, you can still
taste the cheese.

Cheese is overpowering.

Eh, that's okay.

I'll just die hungry.

Look at my boys.

I love you,

little licorice sticks.

I mean, these candies just keep
getting darker and darker.

We love you, Mom.
Yeah.

I love you very much.

We love you, Grandma.

(sighs): Yeah,
I love you, Grandma.

Is she gone?

Yeah, I think so.

(coughs)
No, I'm still here.

Oh.

I thought I was going out,
but I guess not.

Well, well,
can we get you anything?

Do me a favor.

Put on American Ninja Warrior.

I want to watch that
as the angels whisk me away.

I don't think that should be
your last show.

Y‐You know, it should be
something more epic,

like, uh, Empire.

Have you watched Empire before?

No, I haven't seen it.

But I've been meaning
to check that out.

Put on the first episode.

Grandma...

I don't think
this is the time

for you to be starting
a new series.

I mean, they're in
their third season,

and you're, you know...

killing yourself.

Well, Grandma,
I got one more question,

since you're not dead yet.

Did you really wish
our mom was light‐skinned?

Bobby, don't bring
that up now.

I was just trying
to look out for y'all.

But don't worry, Bobby,
when we meet Jesus,

we're all one.

Jesus doesn't see color.

So what color
do you think Jesus is?

Well, I don't really think
he's white,

but I don't really think
he's black, either.

So you're saying
Jesus look like Drake?

Yeah, yeah, that works.

I was thinking
more Derek Jeter, though.

No, see, you crazy, man.

I‐I, Jesus is more, like,
handsome and angelic,

like... Jared Leto.

She's with Him now.

No matter what he look like.

Hmm.

(crying)

Dad. Dad,
you know I can drive.

Shut up! I need
to be in control.

Are you scared, Jerrod?

Hell yeah, I'm scared,
he's crying and driving.

Jerrod, turn
on the radio.

I need to drown out
my thoughts.

(sniffling)

♪ Because you know
I'm all about that bass... ♪

Oh, man.

Now, this is gonna be your
grandma's death song.

Every time I hear it,
I'm gonna think of her.

"All About That Bass"?

Your grandma was all
about that bass.

About that bass.

No treble at all.

Dad, Dad, you're going
85 miles per hour.

Your grandma was 85.

I will now only drive 85

in the memory of
your grandma.

This is for you, Mama!

(engine revs)

Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access. wgbh. org