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1
00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:05,130
The Carmichael Show is taped in
front of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:08,474
Hey, Dad, Donald Trump
is the president
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00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:10,049
of the United States.
4
00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:12,675
That's crazy, right?
5
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:14,641
I mean, it still
looks like an ad
6
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,981
for The Apprentice to me.
7
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,347
Hey, Cordell.
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00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:22,023
Tony... I see that
salt and pepper
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00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:23,574
in your hair, man.
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00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:24,649
You gettin' up there, boy.
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00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:26,321
Dad, how often do you come
12
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,690
to this army recruiting center?
13
00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:29,106
Well, I come here
about once a week.
14
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:30,316
I like to drop off doughnuts,
15
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:31,664
show my appreciation.
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00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,658
You haven't taken Mom
on a date in six months,
17
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:36,160
and you come here
once a week?
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00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:38,213
I bring your mama doughnuts,
too.
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00:00:40,082 --> 00:00:42,332
Wait a minute,
is that Kevin Wilson?
20
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:43,416
I didn't know
he joined the army.
21
00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:45,211
Oh, you mean that kid
that lived down the block?
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00:00:45,254 --> 00:00:47,514
Well, so it is.
23
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,668
Well, give him a doughnut
24
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,085
and thank him
for his service.
25
00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:52,965
No. I don't like
Kevin Wilson.
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00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,183
None of us do.
27
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,511
He's an arrogant bastard
who used to
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00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:56,675
beat Bobby up
all the time.
29
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,483
Okay, come on, man,
I mean,
30
00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:00,138
we scrapped a few times
here and there.
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00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:00,977
You know, it was
mostly fifty‐fifty‐‐
32
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:02,768
he'll win some,
and I'll win some.
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00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:05,194
Oh, no, Bobby,
you never won.
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00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,532
Remember, you had
to transfer schools
35
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:07,727
just to get him
to stop.
36
00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:10,236
Yeah, he did used
to whup your ass.
37
00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:13,199
Well, I'm sure
he's changed now.
38
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,990
They're not gonna let
some violent man
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00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,195
who likes to bully
other people into the army.
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00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:18,624
What are you talking about, Dad?
That has to be, like,
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00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:21,164
75% of the army.
42
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,248
He got my friend
Stacy pregnant
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00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:25,462
and has done nothing
to help raise that kid.
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00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:28,054
He used to wear his sunglasses
on the back of his head.
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00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,548
He drinks Monster
Energy drinks.
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00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,550
The man's a terrible person,
case closed.
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00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,222
Yeah, well, he's a troop now.
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00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:34,640
And those uniforms,
they're like
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a cloak of forgiveness.
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00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:38,215
Even the worst
troop is better
51
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:39,595
than the greatest
civilian.
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00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:41,601
If I were walking home tonight
53
00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:43,403
and I got jumped by a troop,
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00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:46,607
I would be thankful I gave him
the extra training.
55
00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:48,228
Kevin.
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00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:50,025
Mr. Carmichael.
57
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,360
(laughs)
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00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:53,736
So, when'd you
join the army?
59
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,620
Just finished basic
training last week.
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00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:58,077
Hey, Bobby.
Hey, man.
All right, quit playing.
61
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:02,865
Hey, Jerrod.
Kevin.
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00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,786
Thank you for your service.
63
00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:08,593
Yeah, yeah, yeah, thank
you for your service.
64
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:09,838
I'm not thanking you
for your service.
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00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:12,511
You used to beat
my brother up.
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00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:14,761
This guy? We just always
used to have fun.
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00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,181
No, you didn't.
68
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:19,431
Look at his face;
he is terrified right now.
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00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:23,523
No, I'm not.
I'm cool.
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00:02:23,602 --> 00:02:26,402
Jerrod, quit bringing up
old bidness.
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00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:30,480
Now, Kevin, I am proud
of the man that you have become.
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00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:32,525
And we all know
you're gonna go out there
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00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:35,281
and kill all the bad hombres
and make us proud.
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00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,577
Thank you,
Mr. Carmichael.
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00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,289
You know, I just
woke up one morning
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00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:42,497
and felt there was a greater
calling for my life.
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00:02:42,537 --> 00:02:45,577
I decided to join something
bigger than myself.
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00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,496
I wake up before
the sun rises
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00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,672
just to get to work protecting
this country from threats
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00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,301
you can't even imagine.
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00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:53,298
You just completed
basic training.
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00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:56,640
You learned how to do
sit‐ups and make the bed.
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00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:59,297
I don't expect you
to understand
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00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,846
the type of responsibility
this takes, Jerrod,
85
00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:03,560
but you don't have to.
86
00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:05,812
Because there will always
be people like me
87
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,652
to take care of
people like you.
88
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:10,608
Kevin, what's the real
reason you joined the army?
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00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:13,651
Was it the easiest way to get
respect you don't deserve,
90
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,324
or are you just trying
to avoid fatherhood?
91
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,822
You don't have
to answer him, Kevin.
92
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:19,833
He is just a scrawny,
rude civilian.
93
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,288
It's cool, Mr. Carmichael.
94
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:24,830
Jerrod, for starters,
I joined because
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00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:27,371
I love my country.
Loves his country.
96
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,342
And I wanted to give
something back.
97
00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:31,497
Give something back.
98
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,255
You know,
make a sacrifice.
99
00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:35,838
Sacrifice!
100
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,682
Daddy, it's like
you're his hype man.
101
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,509
Jerrod, no more
disrespecting Kevin.
102
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,216
Kevin is a good soldier
103
00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:46,436
on his way to
achieving greatness.
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00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:48,188
Now, thank him for his service
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00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,188
and give this man a doughnut.
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00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,770
Fine.
107
00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:55,527
Kevin, thank you
for your service,
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00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,359
you arrogant deadbeat dad.
109
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,365
Hmm, um,
110
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:02,867
cinnamon sugar
or jelly?
111
00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:07,617
♪ ♪
112
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,886
♪ ♪
113
00:04:45,911 --> 00:04:48,001
♪ ♪
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00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:58,005
Do you know how
un‐American you are right now?
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00:04:58,006 --> 00:04:59,926
Now, why don't you just
go up to Arlington
116
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,426
and piss all over
JFK's eternal flame?
117
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:05,599
Cynthia... come on in here
118
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,429
so we can shame Jerrod.
119
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,765
What's going on?
120
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:10,810
Joe, what happened?
121
00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:12,312
You remember
Kevin Wilson,
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00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:13,654
the boy that used to
live down the street?
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00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:15,568
The same Kevin Wilson
that got my friend
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00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,819
Stacy pregnant, and then
abandoned her and the baby.
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00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:19,819
Oh, Kevin, he's the worst.
126
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:22,491
I saw Stacy crying in the mall
just the other day
127
00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:25,621
'cause she couldn't afford
to buy her baby a pretzel.
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00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:28,449
I wanted to help her, but
it was so sad and messy,
129
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:31,995
I didn't want
to get involved.
130
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,960
Well, Kevin was the worst,
but now he joined the army.
131
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:35,961
He's a troop now, Cynthia.
132
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,802
Oh, Kevin is a troop now.
133
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:41,008
Well, God bless him,
and God bless America.
134
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,969
Wait, wait, wait,
weren't you just talking about
135
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:45,349
how sad it was that his
poor, abandoned child
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00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:46,887
couldn't get a pretzel?
137
00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:49,772
Kevin is fighting for
the country now, Maxine.
138
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,980
I guess that pretzel
is the sacrifice
139
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,978
that baby had to make.
140
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:59,730
Well, Mama,
Jerrod refused
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00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:02,448
to‐to thank Kevin
for his service.
142
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:03,739
Instead, he cursed him out
in front of everybody.
143
00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:05,492
It was crazy.
JERROD:
No, no, no.
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00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:07,702
I think it's crazier
that Bobby thanked him
145
00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:09,582
after Kevin used to
beat him up all the time.
146
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:11,041
Look, Jerrod,
everybody knows this.
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00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:12,749
You have to thank a troop
for their service.
148
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,119
That's just the way
you do things, okay?
149
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,707
Look, let me tell you
what happened to me.
150
00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:18,710
Nekeisha slept with a Marine
last week, okay?
151
00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:22,173
As he was leaving,
I thanked him for his service.
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00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:31,024
You did the right thing, Bobby.
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00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:33,437
Be patriotic.
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00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:35,018
Well, maybe it's my fault
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00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,901
that I let you boys
form your own opinions
156
00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:38,058
when I should have been
ramming my opinions
157
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:39,726
down your throat.
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00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:42,944
Should have seen this coming
when you got suspended
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00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:45,158
from elementary school
for refusing to say
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00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,528
the Pledge of Allegiance.
161
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:49,533
It is ridiculous to ask a kid
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00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,036
to pledge allegiance
to anything.
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00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:53,077
They wanted me
to vow loyalty to a country
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00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:56,211
six months after I found out
Santa Claus wasn't real.
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00:06:57,959 --> 00:07:00,049
This is America
we're talking about.
166
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,626
It's not like we ask you to say
167
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:04,053
the Pledge of Allegiance
to some crappy country
168
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,550
like Slovakia.
169
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:07,222
That would be ridiculous.
170
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:10,720
I mean, I don't even think
they got a pledge in Slovakia.
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00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:14,434
If I lived in Slovakia,
I'd kill myself.
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00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:18,733
Joe, you can't call
Jerrod unpatriotic
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00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,732
just because he didn't
thank some guy
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00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,574
who sounds like a real jerk.
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00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,239
And I love
that Jerrod
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00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,737
didn't pledge allegiance
to the flag when he was a kid.
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00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,910
I think the most patriotic
thing an American can do
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00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:30,658
is question authority.
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00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:34,082
Well, I think the most American
thing for Americans to do
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00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,120
is to shut up and do
what the American leaders
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00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:38,794
tell them to do.
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00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:39,923
JOE:
Jerrod,
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00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:42,919
by not thanking Kevin
for his service,
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00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:46,092
you have spit in the face
of all the brave men and women
185
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:49,472
who are at war right now
fighting for your freedom.
186
00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:51,011
You don't even know what
you're talking about.
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00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:52,926
Do you even know who
we're at war with right now?
188
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:56,102
Of course I know who
we're at war with!
189
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:59,692
Iraq, Iran, um...
190
00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:00,901
Eurasia.
191
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,069
I'm pretty sure we got some boys
over there in Pakistan
192
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:06,441
and that Afghanistan.
193
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:07,646
You got to watch them 'stans.
194
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,986
Them 'stans will
sneak up on you.
195
00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:11,621
Oh, Daddy,
what about Aleppo?
196
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:12,948
There's something
going on in Aleppo.
197
00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,202
Oh, yeah, Aleppo, too.
198
00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:15,945
We got a lot of bad guys
we got to get out
199
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:17,495
of that Aleppo right now.
200
00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:20,829
Oh, yeah, I think
we're gonna have to just
201
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,285
wipe out Aleppo completely
202
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,875
and, uh, start over.
203
00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:25,632
I mean, uh, it's a shame,
204
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,672
but we got to do it.
205
00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:39,637
You know, it's fine to
just say "I don't know."
206
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,864
It don't matter who
we're at war with.
207
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:45,147
Just know they had it coming.
What?!
208
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,071
They had it coming?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
209
00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:49,822
Did you forget that we
invaded Iraq over a lie?
210
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:51,163
Oh, please, spare me the
211
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:54,657
"we invaded Iraq
over a lie" nonsense.
212
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,831
I told you why we went!
213
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,120
Iraq had oil.
214
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:02,955
Now, these terrorists were gonna
do bad things with that oil.
215
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,593
So we had to go
over there,
216
00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:06,839
stop them, get the oil,
217
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,170
and return the oil to freedom.
218
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,674
Mission accomplished.
219
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,184
Look, America does a lot
of terrible things,
220
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,562
but we'll never improve
as a country
221
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:22,310
if we get called un‐American
every time we criticize it.
222
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,185
You know, when I was in college,
223
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:27,190
I made a point that we shouldn't
celebrate Columbus Day anymore
224
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,033
because of all the terrible
things that Columbus did
225
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,899
to the Native Americans,
226
00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:34,525
and then someone spray‐painted
the word "Communist" on my car.
227
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,244
Good. They should've
slashed your tires
228
00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:37,704
while they were there.
229
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,544
Look, Maxine,
230
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,079
it was either
the Native Americans
231
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,332
or the real Americans;
one of them had to go.
232
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:46,206
Yeah, and we took
all of their land,
233
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:49,212
but we named a lot of
our sports teams after them,
234
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:51,165
and I think that's nice.
235
00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:57,721
Look, does this country have
a history of doing evil things?
236
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,224
Of course.
237
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,595
But there is a necessary evil.
238
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:02,983
And that has led us to being
239
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,771
the greatest nation
in the world.
240
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:07,773
Okay, but, Dad,
you can't just excuse
241
00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:09,566
all of America's injustices.
242
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,069
I mean, do I need to bring up
the elephant in the room?
243
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,242
We are black.
244
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,909
Oh... there it is.
245
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,995
Now you done played
the slavery card.
246
00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:22,959
Dad, it's not a card, all right?
247
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,827
It's a real thing that happened.
248
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,254
I just think,
when it comes to slavery,
249
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:27,752
you need to see the big picture.
250
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:29,254
Dad, are...
251
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,125
are you about
to defend slavery right now?
252
00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:35,925
Joe?
253
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,429
Daddy?
254
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:40,270
I am not defending slavery.
255
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:44,096
Slavery is the darkest shame
on the history of America.
256
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,104
Oh, good, thank God.
Whew. Took a turn
there for a minute.
257
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,106
Yeah, I was worried.
258
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,267
However...
Uh‐oh.
259
00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:52,692
... let me just
say this.
260
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:55,737
If it hadn't been for slavery,
we'd still be in Africa.
261
00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:59,833
Probably starving to death.
262
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,868
Probably wind up on one
of them infomercials
263
00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:04,043
begging some family from Ohio
264
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:07,790
to sponsor us
for 98 cents a day.
265
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,668
What‐‐ what kind of food
266
00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:13,972
can you get
for 98 cents a day?
267
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:16,297
What are we sending
them, a pack of gum?
268
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:17,762
Uh‐oh, Jerrod?
269
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:18,974
Kevin just pulled up outside.
270
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:20,812
What is he doing here?
271
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:24,637
Well, Jerrod offended him,
and he's come for revenge.
272
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:27,814
Now, the parent in me
wants to protect you,
273
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:30,064
but the patriot in me is
thinking you probably deserve
274
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:31,318
what you're about to get.
275
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,649
Joe, he's going
into his trunk.
276
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,324
What if he's
got a gun?
277
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,362
Oh, no, he's just
putting his coat away.
278
00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:41,491
J‐Jerrod, you'd
better hide, okay?
279
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:44,334
Kevin fought like a soldier
in middle school.
280
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,460
(knocks on door)
Okay, should we be nervous?
281
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,079
Sorry to intrude,
Mr. Carmichael.
Ha‐ha! Kevin!
282
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:51,880
Come on in,
come on in.
283
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,210
Listen, Kevin,
I know my son
284
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:54,924
is a coward, and I
should step aside
285
00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:56,666
and let you punch
him in the face,
286
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,046
but just know this‐‐
287
00:11:58,092 --> 00:12:01,182
I have just lectured
him on the importance
288
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,011
of loving his country
289
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,766
and supporting all
the brave men and women
290
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,190
who are
sacrificing for us
291
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,847
in all branches
of the Armed Forces.
292
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:12,316
Mr. Carmichael, I'm actually
the one here to apologize.
293
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:13,938
Hello, Mrs. Carmichael.
294
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:17,355
Hello, Kevin. Thank you
for not murdering my son.
295
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:21,033
I wanted to talk
to you, Bobby.
296
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,374
I just want to
say I'm sorry.
297
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:24,288
I never saw myself
as a bully,
298
00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:25,869
but I thought about
what Jerrod said
299
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:29,252
and I apologize if I ever
did anything to hurt you.
300
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:33,086
Thank you, Kevin.
That means a lot.
301
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:36,757
Just when I thought this man
couldn't get more heroic.
302
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:43,006
And, Jerrod, no hard feelings
about the way you acted.
303
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:46,056
Oh, no, Kevin,
I thought about it and...
304
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,559
completely cool
with the way I acted.
305
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,560
Kevin, I couldn't
be more proud of you
306
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,482
if you were
my own son.
307
00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:53,062
And if there
is anything
308
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,776
I can do while
you are over there
309
00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:57,737
fighting for your country,
just name it.
310
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,067
I appreciate that.
311
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,452
Just name it, Kevin,
and I will claim it.
312
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:05,949
Because Joe Franklin Carmichael
supports the troops.
313
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:08,414
Well, there is
one thing I need.
314
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:10,124
I'm being deployed
to Afghanistan tomorrow
315
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:12,544
and I haven't been able to
find someone to watch my dog
316
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:13,915
while I'm gone.
317
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,840
Ooh, a dog?
318
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,920
Ooh, a dog sounds fun.
319
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:19,594
Hi, I'm Maxine;
no one introduced me
320
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,932
'cause they were afraid
you were here to kill Jerrod.
321
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:24,509
Joe, tell him we are
not dog people.
322
00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:26,255
We're not into dogs like that.
323
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,266
Oh, don't worry
about it.
324
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,428
I know it's
a big ask.
325
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,015
No, no, no,
no, no, Kevin,
326
00:13:31,102 --> 00:13:33,942
there's not an ask too big
when it comes to my dad,
327
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:37,150
especially with
the military.
328
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:39,441
In fact, before you got here,
he was just lecturing us
329
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,145
on the importance of
supporting the troops.
330
00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:42,855
Ain't that right, Dad?
331
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:45,367
Man, it would mean a
lot knowing Lincoln
332
00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:46,830
was safe while
I'm gone.
333
00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:48,288
This dog
is my heart.
334
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:50,457
Lincoln? Your dog's
name is Lincoln?
335
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:51,868
That is
a patriotic name.
336
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:53,084
What type
of dog is it?
337
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,126
Golden Retriever.
338
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:56,378
Dad...
339
00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,091
a Golden Retriever.
340
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,835
Kevin, it would be my honor
to watch your dog.
341
00:14:04,886 --> 00:14:06,506
Oh, seriously?
Thanks, Mr. Carmichael.
342
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,314
You saved me.
343
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:10,267
The six months will
fly by, I promise.
344
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,018
I'll go get him out the
car so you can meet him.
345
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:17,521
Joe, are you crazy?
346
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:19,145
Yeah, Daddy, you hate dogs.
347
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,572
Yeah, but we've never
had a dog before.
348
00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:22,361
Because we hate them!
349
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:27,033
We ain't gonna have a
problem with this dog.
350
00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:29,325
We're just gonna
serve our country
351
00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:33,038
and protect Kevin's dog 'cause
it's the right thing to do.
352
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:35,881
(barks)
353
00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:37,497
Oh, God, he's hideous.
354
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,349
CYNTHIA: Joe, I'm coming
down the stairs.
355
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:49,425
Is the dog tied up?
He don't need to be tied up.
356
00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:51,104
Joe, put the dog outside.
357
00:14:51,182 --> 00:14:53,272
You know I can't stand dogs
in my house.
358
00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:55,101
He's not an
outside dog, Cyn.
359
00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:58,356
Kevin said, "This is
not an outside dog."
360
00:14:58,397 --> 00:15:01,897
It's an outside dog
if you put it outside.
361
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:07,204
You can't turn an inside dog
into an outside dog.
362
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:10,200
That's like
gay conversion therapy.
363
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:14,253
You just need to accept
him the way he is.
364
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:19,128
Joe, there is a spirit inside
this dog that just is not right.
365
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:21,210
Last night
while we were making love,
366
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,554
he came inside the room
and watched us.
367
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:29,222
And his eyes rolled up
in the back of his head.
368
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:32,222
Well, next time,
we'll just close the door.
369
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,675
Well, he's just gonna
sit outside and listen!
370
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,652
So what if he listens?
He can't tell nobody
371
00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:41,269
'cause he's just a damn dog.
372
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:43,985
Joe, I can't believe that
you are doing this.
373
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:46,238
We had a happy home until
374
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:49,449
you brought this evil,
perverted dog up in here.
375
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:51,490
I don't want him here, either.
376
00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:53,946
I'm just trying to prove
a point to Jerrod.
377
00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:56,955
I‐I'd rather this dog maul
both me and you
378
00:15:56,998 --> 00:16:00,128
than have that lanky bastard
thinking he's right.
379
00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:03,046
What if Kevin dies?
380
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,459
Are we gonna be stuck
with this dog forever?
381
00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:10,296
Well, if Kevin dies,
then we put the dog outside.
382
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:15,677
Hey. So, how are things
going with the dog?
383
00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:18,596
Oh, we love this dog.
384
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:21,444
That is not a dog.
That is a demon.
385
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,530
That has a demon's spirit,
and I want it out of my house!
386
00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:26,779
Well, your mama's
taking a little time
387
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,529
to get used to the dog,
388
00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:32,453
but we're gonna have a good time
with this dog, I can tell.
389
00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:35,121
CYNTHIA:
Oh, Joe!
390
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:36,331
You're letting him lick
all on your face.
391
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:38,580
It makes me
just want to throw up!
392
00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:41,084
Well, I can't help
how the dog choose
393
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:42,457
to show his damn love, Cynthia.
394
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:43,131
Oh...
Dad, you know
395
00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:44,344
you don't have to keep this dog
396
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:45,338
if you don't want to.
397
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,219
This is what loving your country
398
00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:49,548
looks like, Jerrod.
399
00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:51,264
Dad, just admit it.
400
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,144
You're not doing this
because you love the troops;
401
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:54,469
you're only doing it
to prove a point to me.
402
00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:55,813
This really isn't about you,
Jerrod.
403
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:58,518
This is about
the brave men and women
404
00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:00,559
who are fighting
for our freedom.
405
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:02,515
I am a proud American.
406
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:05,693
I will do anything I can
to support the troops.
407
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,613
Hey, y'all. I've
been calling you.
408
00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:09,153
Why you ain't pick
up the phone?
409
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,445
We had to unplug the phone.
410
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:14,117
Every time it rings, we have to
give this dog an anxiety pill,
411
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,660
and they cost $75 a bottle.
412
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:19,122
Well, I was trying to tell you
about Bobby.
413
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:20,325
What about Bobby?
414
00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:22,124
He went to join the army.
What?
415
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:23,578
Oh, no, my baby!
416
00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:26,338
He's too frail
for military life.
417
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,589
And he's definitely the type
to get PTSD.
418
00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:30,343
He already screams
in his sleep now,
419
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:33,513
and that's just
if he ate something spicy.
420
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,183
We're not gonna let him
do this to himself.
421
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,101
Wait a minute, what happened
to loving the military
422
00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:38,521
and supporting the troops?
423
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,178
Well, that's what
the doughnuts are for.
424
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:42,766
They make us feel less guilty
knowing we never had to
425
00:17:42,853 --> 00:17:44,693
make any real sacrifices
ourselves.
426
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,860
Look, everybody has a limit.
427
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:49,069
And my limit is
taking care of that creepy dog.
428
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:51,280
There, I said it. You happy now?
429
00:17:51,362 --> 00:17:54,742
Actually, yeah,
it's incredibly fulfilling.
430
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:56,622
Joe, go bring my baby home.
431
00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:59,701
I will. He got friendly fire
written all over him.
432
00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:04,827
Bobby.
433
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,207
Daddy?
434
00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:07,802
Bobby, what are you thinking?
435
00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:09,378
What are you guys doing here?
436
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,422
We came here to tell you
that joining the army
437
00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:13,625
is the biggest mistake you
gonna make in your life.
438
00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:15,388
Dad, why are you telling me
I'm making a mistake?
439
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:17,138
You didn't tell Kevin
he was making a mistake.
440
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:19,771
Okay, I see. I know
you're looking at Kevin
441
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:22,227
thinking he's a hero,
thinking you can be one, too.
442
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:25,558
But heroes need
regular people to save.
443
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:29,395
Bobby, you are
not Kevin, okay?
444
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:32,242
I don't even like him,
but he's built like a soldier
445
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,318
and you
are built like...
446
00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:37,405
someone made for
customer service.
447
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:40,580
Look here, okay?
I'm not trying to be like Kevin.
448
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,790
Then why are you here?
449
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:43,539
Because of you.
What?
450
00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:44,833
(sighs)
Look, growing up,
451
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:46,714
I always wanted
to make you proud.
452
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:49,502
And it seemed like it
never happened, not even once.
453
00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:51,417
And I see the way
you look at Kevin
454
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,424
and all these soldiers
around here.
455
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,216
And I realized
this was my opportunity
456
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:56,761
to become the son
that you always wanted
457
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,352
and make you proud.
458
00:18:58,429 --> 00:19:01,429
Bobby, why are you
wasting so much damn time
459
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,484
trying to
make me proud?
460
00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,437
That's why you never
accomplished anything.
461
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:06,808
Look at your brother.
462
00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:09,774
He don't give a damn
what I think about him.
463
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,605
He's right. I don't.
464
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,861
In fact, I usually ask myself
"What would make Dad proud?"
465
00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:16,534
Then I just do
the opposite.
See?
466
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:19,284
And that makes me feel
ashamed of him.
467
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:20,945
We got a thing
and it works.
468
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,913
(sighs) But I love the way
you talk about this country.
469
00:19:24,038 --> 00:19:26,328
It just makes me want to be
a better American.
470
00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:29,714
I do love this country,
but I don't trust your life
471
00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:31,674
in the hands of
this government.
472
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:33,802
I love you too much.
473
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:35,219
Now, look,
474
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:37,469
I know you're looking
around this room,
475
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,640
seeing all these posters,
getting all hyped up
476
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,809
and inspired,
thinking you can do anything.
477
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:43,177
But you can't.
478
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:45,484
You wasn't made
for the battlefield!
479
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:48,438
Look at this man.
This is your president.
480
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:52,651
I voted for him
and even I know he's crazy.
481
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,322
There are gonna be
so many wars.
482
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:55,650
You could die
out there.
483
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,855
And so could all these
people up in here, too!
484
00:19:57,905 --> 00:19:59,615
And for what?
Nothing!
485
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:03,289
Everybody's gonna die
for nothing!
486
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:09,752
We‐we, um, we're just gonna
get out of here. Uh...
487
00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:12,502
thank you guys for your service.
Thank you for your service.
488
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,625
Thank you for‐‐ Cordell, is it?
489
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:17,804
Thank you for your service,
Cordell. All right.
490
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:27,523
(emotional music playing on TV)
491
00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:29,348
WOMAN:
All across America,
492
00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:33,355
helpless animals are brutalized
and cast aside,
493
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:38,739
condemned by their abusers
to a life of agony and pain.
494
00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:41,279
But for just 20 cents a day,
495
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:44,945
you can help end
their suffering.
496
00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:47,705
You can save their lives.
497
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,417
Don't ignore
these victims' cries.
498
00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:54,918
Call now and be a hero
to an innocent animal today.
499
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:07,480
Don't you worry.
Don't you worry at all, Lincoln.
500
00:21:07,558 --> 00:21:11,058
(sniffs)
I'm gonna save you, okay?
501
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,773
(sniffs)
You are coming home with me.
502
00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:15,944
Lincoln, look at me.
503
00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:18,613
I'll be your hero.
504
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:28,914
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access. wgbh. org
37803
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