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1
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:19,555
It's them.
2
00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:48,067
Now, Jack, do exactly
what we rehearsed, nothing else.
3
00:02:48,167 --> 00:02:51,349
Say exactly what we agreed,
nothing else.
4
00:02:51,449 --> 00:02:54,399
Certainement, mon Capitain.Ne vous fachez pas.
5
00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:57,116
Very good, Jack.
6
00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:05,672
- See you later.
- Yes.
7
00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:55,838
Messieurs.
8
00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:14,029
Where is the money?
9
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:17,671
We would like to see the money.
10
00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:20,672
Understand?
11
00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:34,511
One more.
12
00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:54,400
I don't know, mate.
It's nothing to do with me. Honest.
13
00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:56,279
Marcel!
14
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,627
- Get moving.
- What about him?
15
00:06:03,727 --> 00:06:05,074
Get moving.
16
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:15,832
Get rid of him!
17
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:19,311
Lose that bastard.
I said, get rid of him!
18
00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:43,638
Get out of here.
19
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,294
Dad!
20
00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:24,680
I'm gonna
21
00:08:25,448 --> 00:08:26,782
die!
22
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:37,072
Somewhere beyond the sea
23
00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:41,632
Somewhere waiting for me
24
00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:45,111
My lover stands on golden sands
25
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:50,479
And watches the shipsthat go sailing
26
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:54,755
Somewhere
27
00:08:54,920 --> 00:09:00,120
Beyond the seashe's there watching for me
28
00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:05,712
If I could fly like birds on high
29
00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:10,238
Then straight to her armsI'd go sailing
30
00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:14,355
It's far
31
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:19,197
Beyond the stars,It's there beyond the moon
32
00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:26,274
I know beyond a doubt
33
00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:35,585
Sit. Down. Bad doggie, down.
34
00:09:35,685 --> 00:09:38,673
Good doggie! Beg.
35
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:45,752
Room service, Mr Tommy.
Can I turn down your pants?
36
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:50,667
- How's the star of the show?
- I'm gonna die.
37
00:09:50,767 --> 00:09:54,428
You're among friends.
We won't let you die!
38
00:09:54,528 --> 00:09:57,948
I don't mean on stage,
although I feel like shit.
39
00:09:58,048 --> 00:10:02,985
- I mean, I'm gonna die!
- What are you talking about?
40
00:10:03,085 --> 00:10:07,865
If I don't do it, make it happen.
You know, find that feeling
41
00:10:07,965 --> 00:10:11,505
in two weeks,
I'm just not gonna live any more.
42
00:10:11,605 --> 00:10:14,267
You mean you feel desperate.
43
00:10:14,367 --> 00:10:20,188
A lot of people feel desperate
before doing something exceptional.
44
00:10:20,288 --> 00:10:25,108
I'm not playing it safe any more.
I'm gonna take it right to the edge.
45
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:27,186
And do pirouettes.
46
00:10:27,286 --> 00:10:31,709
- What are you talking about?
- Pirouettes, you dumb fuck.
47
00:10:31,809 --> 00:10:33,865
And if I fall,
48
00:10:33,965 --> 00:10:39,319
well, so be it.
You know. Who gives a shit?
49
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,912
My father in the audience yet?
50
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:56,110
We're late. That's it, we're late.
51
00:10:56,210 --> 00:11:00,513
- Don't say it was me.
- Relax, dear.
52
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:04,713
I'm gonna die.
53
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:35,946
Welcome to the Hilton Vegas,
Mr Fawkes!
54
00:11:36,046 --> 00:11:39,308
- Great to see you.
- Thank you.
55
00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:45,112
No matter what happens, nobody
can say you're not a great father.
56
00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:04,120
Hi.
57
00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:21,871
Now is not the time to lose faith
in the material.
58
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:24,111
It got you this far.
59
00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:29,629
As an opener, the dog story is the
best joke I ever wrote for you.
60
00:12:29,729 --> 00:12:34,707
But if... which it won't...
but if, and I mean only if...
61
00:12:34,807 --> 00:12:39,079
Jesus, you make me doubt things.
If it doesn't work,
62
00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:41,391
use the saver.
63
00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:43,995
You mean, a joke's like a lady
getting out of a car.
64
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:46,117
Sometimes you see it,
sometimes you don't?
65
00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:49,079
- Yeah, that's it!
- Yeah, that's it!
66
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:58,710
Tommy, I don't think you should
use the sheep story.
67
00:12:58,810 --> 00:13:02,468
- What are you telling me?
- It's not that kind of house.
68
00:13:02,568 --> 00:13:07,185
It uses the F word, and this is
not the Comedy Store.
69
00:13:07,285 --> 00:13:12,188
- You'll lose 'em with the F word.
- Risks, Al. Pirouettes!
70
00:13:12,288 --> 00:13:14,670
A one-way ticket.
71
00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:18,919
Two weeks to live.
72
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:53,637
- You're nervous.
- I waited all my life for tonight.
73
00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:06,187
What are you doing, pumpkin?
Don't do this, please.
74
00:14:06,287 --> 00:14:12,108
You're so cold. You have frozen
the life out of me.
75
00:14:12,208 --> 00:14:15,788
What is this?
What are you doing to me?
76
00:14:15,888 --> 00:14:21,985
You're all that matters.
All you think about. Tommy Fawkes!
77
00:14:22,085 --> 00:14:25,073
Tommy, you're so cold.
78
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:31,277
You wonder why people
don't laugh at you?
79
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:37,920
What?
80
00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:43,186
What are you saying?
What are you saying to me?
81
00:14:43,286 --> 00:14:48,188
I am saying that you cannot
have relationships.
82
00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:51,557
We're through. That's what I'm saying!
83
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:10,787
- Hi, son.
- Hi, Dad.
84
00:15:10,887 --> 00:15:13,918
I won't hold you up.
85
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:19,196
Boy, this takes me back.
New mirrors.
86
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:24,395
All I came to say was, you couldn't
ask for a better audience.
87
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:27,519
That room is filled with people.
88
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:31,225
Friends, family,
the whole of show business is there!
89
00:15:31,325 --> 00:15:37,148
They're all just hoping and wishing,
and ready to laugh, son.
90
00:15:37,248 --> 00:15:40,226
- I better go.
- Sure, OK.
91
00:15:40,326 --> 00:15:44,466
I just wanted you to know
how proud I am of you.
92
00:15:44,566 --> 00:15:47,553
- Five minutes, please.
- He'll be right there.
93
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:53,826
If this audience doesn't laugh,
94
00:15:53,926 --> 00:15:56,427
then I don't know what.
95
00:15:56,527 --> 00:16:01,268
I just think all those years
of playing small venues
96
00:16:01,368 --> 00:16:05,906
and learning the business
is about to pay off for you.
97
00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:11,712
And I hope so. Because I know
you haven't always found life easy.
98
00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:16,825
- OK! Dad, I have to go.
- OK.
99
00:16:16,925 --> 00:16:19,065
Go get 'em.
100
00:16:19,165 --> 00:16:21,959
Kill the bastards.
101
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:33,911
We will meet beyond the shore
102
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:37,551
We'll kiss just as before
103
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:42,031
Happy we'll be beyond the sea
104
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,798
And never again
105
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,071
He was fine.
106
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,675
I'll go sailing
107
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:54,174
Sailing
108
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:12,789
Ladies and gentlemen, we havea new face topping the bill
109
00:17:12,889 --> 00:17:15,068
at the Hilton Oasis.
110
00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:20,467
A new face. But an old name.
The name is Fawkes.
111
00:17:20,567 --> 00:17:23,553
Yeah! Tommy Fawkes! All right!
112
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:30,904
I'm gonna keep Tommy waiting
just a little longer. First of all,
113
00:17:31,004 --> 00:17:34,348
there's something specialwe have to do.
114
00:17:34,448 --> 00:17:37,825
Ladies and gentlemen,
the biggest star of them all.
115
00:17:37,925 --> 00:17:42,545
The funniest.
Mr Originality himself,
116
00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:48,238
in the audience tonight.
Mr George Fawkes!
117
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:02,510
Come on, George.
They want you.
118
00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:08,231
Don't do it, Dad. Please don't do it.
119
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:58,199
As the cow said on a wintry morning:"Thank you for that warm hand."
120
00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:07,469
But seriously, folks. I cannot
tell you what a joy I feel
121
00:19:07,569 --> 00:19:12,032
being here at the... Hilton Oasis.
122
00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:16,350
He did it. He did it.
123
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:21,076
Mr Fawkes? Are you OK?
124
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,875
I can't believe he did that. Oh, boy.
125
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,680
A gag is like watching a girl
get out of a car.
126
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:36,997
Sometimes you see it,
sometimes you don't.
127
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,513
I'm history, I'm out of here.
Have a good night.
128
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:57,232
You still got it!
129
00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:11,637
I can't believe he did that.
130
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:16,158
And now will you welcome
131
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,472
the man who
has inherited that talent.
132
00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:23,031
Mr Tommy Fawkes!
133
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:48,112
He's great!
134
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,709
Slay 'em, Tommy!
135
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,424
My wonderful parents,
ladies and gentlemen.
136
00:21:10,524 --> 00:21:16,869
They hated me. They once took me to
an orphanage and told me to mingle.
137
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:21,106
Do you ever feel like
killing yourself?
138
00:21:21,206 --> 00:21:26,347
Like no matter what you do, people
will always see you as one thing?
139
00:21:26,447 --> 00:21:29,638
It's like a lifetime of bad luck.
140
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:37,905
I came home last week, my dog looked
sheepish. Dogs can look sheepish!
141
00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:41,705
I feed him, he won't eat.
He starts wailing real loud.
142
00:21:41,805 --> 00:21:45,750
I go into the back room, I see
he's broken avery large mirror.
143
00:21:45,850 --> 00:21:50,226
I say, "Did you do this?"
He said, "Yeah." He did.
144
00:21:50,326 --> 00:21:52,232
"It's OK, why are you so upset?"
145
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:55,120
He says, "49 years bad luck."
146
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:09,431
A joke's like watching a lady
get out of a car
147
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,910
Sometimes you see it,
sometimes you don't.
148
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:28,119
Did I say something funny?
149
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,988
I was playing Carthage, Tennessee.
Ever play there?
150
00:22:34,088 --> 00:22:38,865
They brought back the death penalty
for comedians only.
151
00:22:38,965 --> 00:22:43,905
Guy in a bar says, "I used to own this
place. I built it up from nothing.
152
00:22:44,005 --> 00:22:47,385
"But do they call me
John the Bar Owner? No.
153
00:22:47,485 --> 00:22:51,264
"I owned the biggest farm
in the county for 30 years.
154
00:22:51,364 --> 00:22:56,196
"I looked after animals, crops.
But do they call me John the Farmer?
155
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:03,108
"I ran for Congress. Sat in
Washington representing the people.
156
00:23:03,208 --> 00:23:06,637
"They call me John the Congressman?
No, sir.
157
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:09,554
"You fuck one sheep..."
158
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:47,270
I gotta run.
You made a lousy fucking audience.
159
00:23:47,370 --> 00:23:52,276
My name is Tommy Fawkes,
and I got two weeks to live.
160
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,632
Tommy?
161
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:32,555
Well, my mama she didn't love me
162
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:35,838
She had to stay out all night longO Lord
163
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:46,638
Well, my mama didn't love me
164
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,679
She had to stay out all night long
165
00:24:56,160 --> 00:25:01,110
I didn't care if she didn't loveI would boogie-woogie anyhow
166
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:14,519
When I was workingup in town, people
167
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:17,991
I was walking down Hatham Street
168
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:23,638
I heard everybody talking about itThe Henry Swain Club
169
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:30,196
I decided I'd drop in that nightand when I got there
170
00:25:30,360 --> 00:25:34,559
I say, yes, peopleyou do really have a ball
171
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:37,713
Come on. Get it off him.
172
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:44,560
Get it off him!
173
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:03,349
We'll send somebody to
find your father and your uncle.
174
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:08,185
Is there anything else you want?
175
00:26:08,285 --> 00:26:10,795
Anything we can bring you?
176
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:14,514
Toast!
177
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:18,078
Toast.
178
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:29,556
Over here!
179
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:39,513
Here! Over here!
180
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:54,947
Here!
181
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:21,988
Look, it's nothing. It's just a foot.
182
00:27:22,088 --> 00:27:25,676
It'll blow over. It's a one-off.
183
00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:27,174
Yes.
184
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:30,480
No.
185
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:36,149
I will, I will.
186
00:27:36,249 --> 00:27:39,756
I resent that. Piss off!
187
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:47,190
Animals.
188
00:27:47,290 --> 00:27:49,237
Did you tell them
there's no connection
189
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:51,631
between the foot
and the man in the tower?
190
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:30,717
Jack Parker's father?
191
00:28:33,360 --> 00:28:36,346
I am. That's his uncle.
192
00:28:36,446 --> 00:28:41,435
I'm afraid he's climbed the tower
and he won't come down.
193
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:47,230
He's asked for toast.
194
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:53,352
Do you know why? I mean, toast?
195
00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:57,553
Toast, shut up.
196
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:12,273
May I ask you what you do?
197
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:16,520
How do you mean?
198
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:17,638
Come on, Mother.
199
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:48,788
You're from the lawyers?
Broadbent, Phelps, Burger & Burger?
200
00:30:48,888 --> 00:30:54,027
Berger & Berger... I'm Lawrence Berger.
You're Mr Tarascas?
201
00:30:54,127 --> 00:30:57,585
- Dick Tarascas. Dick.
- Shall we wait for your bags?
202
00:30:57,685 --> 00:31:00,948
- My bags went to Düsseldorf.
- Oh, really?
203
00:31:01,048 --> 00:31:04,397
Gosh.
That's unbelievably bad luck.
204
00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:13,513
- My cheque's come? Hotel confirmed?
- Yes, indeed. Sea view.
205
00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:15,399
Let's go.
206
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:30,827
- Is this your first time here?
- No, I lived here till I was six.
207
00:31:30,927 --> 00:31:37,786
So you've noticed the changes, then.
What would it be? 30 years?
208
00:31:37,886 --> 00:31:43,948
Its heyday. Marlene Dietrich,
Sammy Davis Jr., Frank Sinatra.
209
00:31:44,048 --> 00:31:48,788
A mecca for comedians, of course.
Bob Hope.
210
00:31:48,888 --> 00:31:52,430
George Formby. George Fawkes.
211
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:56,751
And the sun shone every day, right?
212
00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:00,679
It seemed to, yes.
213
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:02,877
Mr Parker?
Steve Campbell. I'm a psychiatrist.
214
00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:05,148
Is he coming down?
215
00:33:05,248 --> 00:33:09,908
Why wasn't I told it's Jack Parker?
What about guns?
216
00:33:10,008 --> 00:33:15,951
- He isn't armed.
- With respect, he is a known maniac.
217
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:23,236
Hiya, Dad. Hi, Uncle Thomas.
218
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,475
Are you all right?
219
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:29,791
I'm gonna die!
220
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:33,985
Gentlemen, what I need to know is,
221
00:33:34,085 --> 00:33:39,394
how far does this man go
when he's pushed?
222
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:48,068
- You must be Mrs Parker.
- I was married to Bruno.
223
00:34:48,168 --> 00:34:52,996
But I'm no longer Mrs Parker.
This is Toast.
224
00:34:56,560 --> 00:35:01,430
Jack, my darling.
You can come down now.
225
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:13,785
Mr Parker.
226
00:35:13,885 --> 00:35:18,665
Your brother doesn't seem to speak.
Is that right?
227
00:35:18,765 --> 00:35:23,545
- He's depressed.
- How long has he been depressed?
228
00:35:23,645 --> 00:35:28,078
- When did he last speak?
- Twelve years ago.
229
00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:48,355
I gather you're in the business
yourself. A comedian?
230
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:50,079
Sort of.
231
00:35:50,240 --> 00:35:55,786
And you're prepared to pay money
to see comedy material in Blackpool?
232
00:35:55,886 --> 00:35:58,989
- You bet.
- Actual cash?
233
00:35:59,089 --> 00:36:02,710
Bingo. I'm serious.
Everything I see, I pay to see.
234
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:06,345
£50 for a look.
If I buy, that's where you step in.
235
00:36:06,445 --> 00:36:10,586
I never thought of it as
such a competitive business.
236
00:36:10,686 --> 00:36:12,868
Well, it is.
237
00:36:12,968 --> 00:36:18,107
- What do you want to see?
- Whatever's funny in Blackpool.
238
00:36:18,207 --> 00:36:22,666
Old routines, funny routines,
funny people.
239
00:36:22,766 --> 00:36:25,347
- Jokes?
- No jokes.
240
00:36:25,447 --> 00:36:30,427
I'm looking for another way.
Jokes I've paid for. It doesn't work.
241
00:36:30,527 --> 00:36:32,716
No jokes.
242
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:38,079
Funny people.
Physical comedy. Original ideas.
243
00:36:38,240 --> 00:36:41,349
Visual? Slapstick?
244
00:36:41,449 --> 00:36:45,869
- It may not be scripted.
- Doesn't mean I can't buy it.
245
00:36:45,969 --> 00:36:49,990
Look, Lawrence. I'm gonna be frank.
246
00:36:50,090 --> 00:36:55,067
I don't have long to live. I'm looking
for something. I don't know what.
247
00:36:55,167 --> 00:36:59,190
I'm an educated man, I like to
analyze. I'm reasonably wealthy.
248
00:36:59,290 --> 00:37:02,432
It's something special.
I'm gonna find it here.
249
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:05,187
Whoever brings it
might not even know its worth.
250
00:37:05,287 --> 00:37:09,629
Whatever it is,
it will be something I don't have.
251
00:37:09,729 --> 00:37:16,187
Another way of looking at life.
I spent six years of my life here.
252
00:37:16,287 --> 00:37:19,905
There's no reason
why the sun can't shine again.
253
00:37:20,005 --> 00:37:26,270
I mean, why do all the best things
in life belong to the past?
254
00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:29,427
I don't know.
255
00:37:29,527 --> 00:37:32,549
But it's true. You're right.
256
00:37:32,649 --> 00:37:38,389
So no jokes, OK?
Jokes I'll leave to George Fawkes.
257
00:37:38,489 --> 00:37:43,547
- George Fawkes. He was funny.
- Still is.
258
00:37:43,647 --> 00:37:47,429
Surely not?
I thought he died in Las Vegas.
259
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:52,199
No. I died in Las Vegas.
260
00:38:43,240 --> 00:38:47,314
Jack, I'm here to help you.
I'm going to ask you a few questions.
261
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:49,756
Unrelated, all right?
262
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:54,585
- Where were you born?
- Blackpool.
263
00:38:54,685 --> 00:38:59,675
- Why Blackpool?
- I wanted to be near me mother.
264
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:06,960
- Have you lived here all your life?
- Not yet.
265
00:39:09,240 --> 00:39:14,759
They tell me you had no real
education. Is that right?
266
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:22,545
Tell me, of this list,
267
00:39:22,645 --> 00:39:26,105
which is the odd one out?
268
00:39:26,205 --> 00:39:28,186
House.
269
00:39:28,286 --> 00:39:32,286
School. Dog.
270
00:39:32,526 --> 00:39:35,399
Cinema. Church.
271
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:39,230
- Dog.
- Good.
272
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:43,078
A dog wouldn't go to the cinema,
would it?
273
00:39:46,240 --> 00:39:49,226
Which of these is the odd one out?
274
00:39:49,326 --> 00:39:53,109
Malice. Jealousy.
275
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:56,520
Greed.
276
00:39:56,845 --> 00:39:58,512
Envy.
277
00:39:59,325 --> 00:40:02,711
And... kindness.
278
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:07,934
And.
279
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:56,433
- I want to tell the whole truth.
- Very well.
280
00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:58,956
I'll fetch the sergeant.
281
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:11,626
Jack, this is
Detective Sergeant Sharkey.
282
00:41:11,726 --> 00:41:15,634
What is it you want to say?
283
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:17,840
Jack?
284
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:22,187
Jack?
285
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:27,231
Man, slow down
286
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:31,680
We'll get there
287
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:38,000
Take your time
288
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:45,196
So we'll just keep onwalking anyway
289
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:51,109
We have for you the one and only,
290
00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:54,796
the challenger,Dancing Joe Caccelli.
291
00:41:55,760 --> 00:41:59,595
In the red corner,the WBA Champion,
292
00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:02,514
Buffalo Bob Johnson.
293
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:08,113
Boxers,let's get ready to rumble.
294
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:17,431
Oh, well, that's Turkey.
295
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:28,953
Tune into your breathing patternand watch the breathing.
296
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:32,830
Breathing naturally,not forcing it in any way.
297
00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:38,476
As you breathe,begin to hear yourself.
298
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:43,437
Min-nnaaah!
299
00:42:46,720 --> 00:42:54,435
Ooooh-waa-haa-haa.Ooooh-waa-haa-haa.
300
00:42:56,000 --> 00:43:00,791
Remember,breathe to your breathing rhythm.
301
00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:14,599
When we breathe out,there's a natural pause at the end.
302
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:21,959
Before we breathe in again,try to feel the pause.
303
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:29,310
Just let go until youbreathe in again.
304
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:32,271
In your own breathing rhythm,
305
00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:36,116
breathe in naturally,and out slowly.
306
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:40,991
Pause at the end of the breath.Feel your eyelids becoming heavy.
307
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:56,509
They tried to pull a stroke, Dolly.
There was an accident.
308
00:43:56,609 --> 00:44:00,587
I know he died in a bad way,
but it serves the filthy frog right.
309
00:44:00,687 --> 00:44:03,320
He only brought five eggs.
310
00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:08,626
- But you gave him all the money.
- We had no choice.
311
00:44:08,726 --> 00:44:15,027
He threw Jack in the water. We tried
to save him, not argue about the egg.
312
00:44:15,127 --> 00:44:20,957
There was a panic, a communication
problem. There's no trust any more.
313
00:44:21,560 --> 00:44:26,999
One wax egg remains
unaccounted for.
314
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:33,955
Two ounces of the emperor's private
store of the plant of immortality.
315
00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:41,193
That's about £20,000 worth.
Or ten more years of my life.
316
00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:47,392
You have my word. The egg
went down with that French fella.
317
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:15,192
I thought you said this was a one-off.
318
00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:18,587
Well, it is a one-off.
319
00:45:18,687 --> 00:45:23,436
The feet match. One person.
320
00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:27,280
Two feet, though.
321
00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:32,237
Well, obviously.
322
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:35,715
Everyone's got two feet.
323
00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:40,429
Does anybody know anyone
that hasn't got two feet?
324
00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:42,534
Yes!
325
00:45:43,525 --> 00:45:49,676
Very amusing, but if you'll excuse me,
I've got vermin at South Shore.
326
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:56,395
Whose feet are they?
327
00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:14,039
One minute to ten.
328
00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:40,154
Ladies and gentlemen. Come up gently.
329
00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:06,026
Are you taking us and our material
to the United States?
330
00:47:06,126 --> 00:47:11,400
If you want to, we have to go
on the QE2. We never fly.
331
00:47:18,360 --> 00:47:22,390
Will you all settle down? Quiet!
332
00:47:22,490 --> 00:47:28,628
- I only eat brown bread.
- Sign it before you come through.
333
00:47:28,728 --> 00:47:34,389
The terms are the same for all of you.
It's £50 for a look.
334
00:47:34,489 --> 00:47:38,269
If Mr Tarascas
wants to go any further,
335
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:42,070
a price will be negotiated. All right?
336
00:48:01,280 --> 00:48:04,193
Good turnout.
337
00:48:05,240 --> 00:48:08,995
Good work, Larry.
Let's have the first one.
338
00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:23,592
This is Steve.
He's come all the way from Ormskirk.
339
00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:28,757
Welcome, Steve.
What do you have to show me?
340
00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:28,710
That's what I sayI say yeah, yeah
341
00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:31,440
That's what I say, I say...
342
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:36,876
That's what I say, I say...
343
00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:41,909
That's what I say, I say...
344
00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:54,388
- Bonanza.
- Aznanob.
345
00:49:54,488 --> 00:49:57,393
- Dallas.
- Sallad.
346
00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:20,193
Stop doing that!
347
00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:09,587
- That's funny.
- Thank you. Why didn't you laugh?
348
00:51:09,687 --> 00:51:15,029
Larry will check out the patents
on biscuit tin tap dancing.
349
00:51:15,129 --> 00:51:18,909
- We might make you an offer.
- Thank you.
350
00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:24,476
- Don't forget your biscuit tins.
- I got plenty of them.
351
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:42,734
I...
352
00:51:43,840 --> 00:51:48,226
- What's this?
- It was in the "Times" yesterday.
353
00:51:48,326 --> 00:51:52,945
I doubt many people saw it.
Certainly not this lot.
354
00:51:53,045 --> 00:51:57,027
So as far as Blackpool is concerned,
you're still Dick Tarascas.
355
00:51:57,127 --> 00:52:00,585
"Legendary comedian George Fawkes
won a standing ovation
356
00:52:00,685 --> 00:52:07,349
"when he took over from his vanished
son Tommy, also a comedian.
357
00:52:07,449 --> 00:52:12,464
"The whereabouts of Tommy Fawkes
is yet to be established. Police...
358
00:52:12,564 --> 00:52:14,791
"say..."
359
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:32,760
- That must have been awful for you.
- Yeah.
360
00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:39,710
- You must admire your father.
- He's a hell of a guy.
361
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:43,237
So, who's next?
362
00:55:26,320 --> 00:55:29,677
I know you will be good today.
363
00:55:29,840 --> 00:55:31,752
And no one knows who you are.
364
00:55:34,320 --> 00:55:37,074
Now I must get ready.
365
00:55:41,080 --> 00:55:45,677
Remember clapping for yourself
just like your father?
366
00:56:04,240 --> 00:56:07,039
More research, is it?
367
00:56:07,720 --> 00:56:11,634
People in this town will be angry
when they find out what you're doing.
368
00:56:12,760 --> 00:56:14,746
Meaning?
369
00:56:14,846 --> 00:56:19,625
£50 for a look could become
a keep, and we'd never know.
370
00:56:19,725 --> 00:56:21,632
You haven't seen the right people.
371
00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:25,840
The ones I'm talking about
turned down the Ed Sullivan Show.
372
00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:31,589
I paid to get in here,
I'm allowed to watch, Mr...
373
00:56:31,689 --> 00:56:36,588
This afternoon's new talent is keeping
a bit schtumm about his act.
374
00:56:36,688 --> 00:56:41,118
Welcome, please,
the amazing Valve Radio.
375
00:56:44,280 --> 00:56:47,159
Mann, Billy Mann.
376
00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:53,910
And that is not new talent.
377
00:57:11,760 --> 00:57:14,719
The fight is on.Dancing Joe saying, "Come on."
378
00:57:14,840 --> 00:57:17,840
Why, you!
379
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:22,556
The Buffalo's fierceand attempts to psyche out Joe.
380
00:57:22,720 --> 00:57:25,394
I put a spell on you
381
00:57:29,560 --> 00:57:31,546
'Cause you're mine
382
00:57:31,646 --> 00:57:35,829
Feel your eyelids becomingvery heavy.
383
00:57:35,929 --> 00:57:40,625
I don't wanna feel this way. This isnot the way I'm gonna live my life.
384
00:57:40,725 --> 00:57:46,079
- The Dancer explodes.- You can feel a strong vibration.
385
00:57:56,400 --> 00:57:58,987
Anybody in this roomwho can't do that?
386
00:57:59,087 --> 00:58:03,386
Buffalo lands a hook, a right,an uppercut. Exploding into Dancer!
387
00:58:03,486 --> 00:58:06,518
Having a great smilereally can change your life.
388
00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:10,345
A left. A left again.Joe is stumbling.
389
00:58:10,445 --> 00:58:13,229
Must be jellyJam don't shake like that
390
00:58:13,329 --> 00:58:19,069
- Drop your hand by your sides.- He's unguarded. Buffalo strikes!
391
00:58:19,169 --> 00:58:22,907
- What? Where? When? How? Who?- He goes down three times.
392
00:58:23,007 --> 00:58:26,471
Expel every dropof air from your body.
393
00:58:27,520 --> 00:58:30,985
Buffalo is held backwhile Joe's on the floor.
394
00:58:31,085 --> 00:58:33,869
I'm not a beast.
395
00:58:33,969 --> 00:58:38,745
- He's given the count.- 90! Who'll go to 94?
396
00:58:38,845 --> 00:58:41,304
- Fill your body...- He's up.
397
00:58:41,404 --> 00:58:43,864
.. and let it out.
398
00:58:43,964 --> 00:58:46,590
He's down again. Chip is counting.
399
00:58:46,690 --> 00:58:50,427
It's been requested that I dothis number for you.
400
00:58:50,527 --> 00:58:52,984
In. Out.
401
00:58:53,084 --> 00:58:55,356
In. Out.
402
00:58:55,520 --> 00:58:57,905
In. Out.
403
00:58:58,005 --> 00:59:01,960
- The Dancer's in trouble.- The man in the moon.
404
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:08,108
He's gonna go. Joe leaningdesperately against the ropes.
405
00:59:08,208 --> 00:59:11,186
Hardly knows where he is.
406
00:59:11,286 --> 00:59:14,266
Uska Dara is a town in Turkey.
407
00:59:14,366 --> 00:59:19,594
In the old days, many women had malesecretaries. Well, that's Turkey.
408
00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:24,588
He's confused. I can seehis wife, Laura, up there with him.
409
00:59:24,688 --> 00:59:28,754
- He doesn't even know his own wife.- The man in the moon.
410
00:59:31,040 --> 00:59:32,759
Joe's on the deck!
411
00:59:38,120 --> 00:59:39,839
Come back!
412
00:59:44,520 --> 00:59:46,989
He's brilliant!
413
00:59:48,280 --> 00:59:52,150
I'd never have let him
if I had known who he was.
414
00:59:52,250 --> 00:59:57,148
I wasn't that surprised when
the detective sergeant told me.
415
00:59:57,248 --> 01:00:01,748
I mean, to be that good,
he had to be somebody.
416
01:00:01,848 --> 01:00:04,833
I mean, he is good.
417
01:00:09,480 --> 01:00:15,192
Jack. Out of trouble means
out of sight, all right?
418
01:00:15,920 --> 01:00:19,630
Vanish, or we'll make you vanish.
419
01:00:32,200 --> 01:00:35,193
This is your lucky day.
420
01:00:40,320 --> 01:00:46,715
I suppose it's just a sentimentalcontinental point of view
421
01:00:46,880 --> 01:00:52,990
But when out with English gentlemen,what torment I go through
422
01:00:53,880 --> 01:00:57,345
Exercising fascinations
423
01:00:57,445 --> 01:01:01,347
Till at last I lose my patience
424
01:01:01,447 --> 01:01:04,708
For it is hard to understand
425
01:01:04,808 --> 01:01:09,628
That in your peculiar land
426
01:01:09,728 --> 01:01:13,236
Englishmen never make love by day
427
01:01:13,880 --> 01:01:17,590
It can't be helpedIt's just their way
428
01:01:17,760 --> 01:01:21,800
It isn't good form to be warm
429
01:01:21,960 --> 01:01:25,032
In the heat of the sun
430
01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:29,274
You mustn't nestle or gaze too much
431
01:01:29,440 --> 01:01:33,434
You mustn't whisper or even touch
432
01:01:33,600 --> 01:01:37,674
You mustn't reveal what you feel
433
01:01:37,840 --> 01:01:41,720
While you're missing the fun
434
01:01:41,880 --> 01:01:45,760
You mustn't say darling,you mustn't hold hands
435
01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:48,640
Or give him a hint he might
436
01:01:49,680 --> 01:01:54,596
You must just sit and talkabout cricket and glands
437
01:01:54,760 --> 01:01:57,320
With no one at all in sight
438
01:01:58,440 --> 01:02:02,150
But never despair as you waste a way
439
01:02:02,320 --> 01:02:06,314
For in spite of your plightand your deep dismay
440
01:02:06,480 --> 01:02:10,235
Though Englishmennever make love by day
441
01:02:10,400 --> 01:02:16,351
A t night they're quite all right
442
01:02:18,320 --> 01:02:21,313
Englishmen waitfor the clock to chime
443
01:02:21,560 --> 01:02:25,749
They won't light uptill lighting-up time
444
01:02:25,849 --> 01:02:29,305
They think it's a sin to begin
445
01:02:29,405 --> 01:02:31,790
In the afternoon
446
01:02:32,960 --> 01:02:36,744
No matter how fondthey feel of you
447
01:02:36,844 --> 01:02:41,039
They won't say soif the skies are blue
448
01:02:41,200 --> 01:02:44,671
It isn't the thing in the spring
449
01:02:44,840 --> 01:02:47,833
Or the Juniest June
450
01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:51,914
You can hear the thudof their Saxon blood
451
01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:54,959
As they sit there all polite
452
01:02:55,120 --> 01:02:59,080
Like a block of woodor a stick in the mud
453
01:02:59,240 --> 01:03:03,871
Saying "Is that so?"and "Quite"
454
01:03:05,320 --> 01:03:09,626
Just why it should beit is hard to say
455
01:03:09,726 --> 01:03:14,186
They know that we knowthat they know the way
456
01:03:14,286 --> 01:03:18,267
But though Englishmen nevermake love by day
457
01:03:18,367 --> 01:03:25,358
A t night they're quite all right
458
01:03:44,480 --> 01:03:47,473
It's a good house. I need a drink.
459
01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:50,587
That was very exciting.
460
01:03:50,687 --> 01:03:56,545
I used to represent this bombshell.
I used to represent all this lot.
461
01:03:56,645 --> 01:04:03,070
This is Bruno, Thomas and Jack Parker,
the funniest people ever in Blackpool.
462
01:04:03,170 --> 01:04:07,234
- And this is Bruno's ex, Katie.
- I know you.
463
01:04:07,960 --> 01:04:13,309
I'm honored to meet you.
I'd like to see your material.
464
01:04:13,409 --> 01:04:17,307
You see, boys,
Mr Tarascas is buying material.
465
01:04:17,407 --> 01:04:21,467
I'll explain all this properly to you.
And paying very good money, too.
466
01:04:21,567 --> 01:04:25,547
Only if I decide that...
Yeah, sure, for instance...
467
01:04:25,647 --> 01:04:30,954
Jack, I'll make you a big offer for
that tape. The tape is fabulous.
468
01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:32,474
Hah!
469
01:04:34,520 --> 01:04:36,665
Is there a problem?
470
01:04:36,765 --> 01:04:42,597
Have I said something un-British?
You don't need the money!
471
01:04:45,080 --> 01:04:49,067
Mr Tarascas is a comedian, too.
Very funny.
472
01:04:49,167 --> 01:04:52,748
Boys,
I think you'll need my help on this.
473
01:04:52,848 --> 01:04:55,869
- It could be worthwhile.
- Great.
474
01:04:55,969 --> 01:05:01,115
- Where can I catch your act?
- We haven't done it for twelve years.
475
01:05:18,080 --> 01:05:22,518
Yoo-hoo!
You want some of this?
476
01:05:29,120 --> 01:05:33,273
La mer, quand voit dancer
477
01:05:44,520 --> 01:05:47,240
Two big ones, one little one.
Thank you.
478
01:05:50,240 --> 01:05:52,232
Three big... WAHHH!
479
01:05:58,120 --> 01:05:59,873
Please!
480
01:06:04,360 --> 01:06:05,919
I wanna go.
481
01:07:00,360 --> 01:07:03,080
Where I've made a cross.
482
01:07:04,720 --> 01:07:07,554
£1,000 for a look. The rest if I buy.
483
01:07:10,400 --> 01:07:15,191
Bruno was my husband. I know the act.
I also know about contracts.
484
01:07:15,360 --> 01:07:18,717
- Sure.
- Bruno, Thomas...
485
01:07:20,600 --> 01:07:24,347
Bruno, look at me.
Thomas, look at me.
486
01:07:24,447 --> 01:07:28,070
- We really need the money, Katie.
- Don't sign.
487
01:07:28,720 --> 01:07:31,946
- There's something you don't like.
- Yes!
488
01:07:32,046 --> 01:07:37,064
Look at page four, where it says 6A.
That's what they call a quitclaim.
489
01:07:37,164 --> 01:07:40,995
- What's that mean?
- I know you need the money.
490
01:07:41,160 --> 01:07:44,631
But you haven't understood.
A quitclaim means that this man,
491
01:07:44,800 --> 01:07:47,235
and only this man, can do your act.
492
01:07:47,400 --> 01:07:49,987
And us. If we get another chance.
493
01:07:50,087 --> 01:07:54,466
No, boys! You're signing away
your right
494
01:07:54,566 --> 01:07:59,396
to perform your act,
that you took 20 years in perfecting.
495
01:07:59,560 --> 01:08:01,995
You'll never be able to do it again.
496
01:08:02,160 --> 01:08:07,147
Haven't you grasped the point?
They're never going to work again!
497
01:08:07,247 --> 01:08:10,517
You understood this. You bastard!
498
01:08:13,480 --> 01:08:19,106
- You don't have a high opinion of me.
- The man's insulted. I'm very sorry.
499
01:08:19,206 --> 01:08:21,635
But these are the people
who are being insulted!
500
01:08:21,800 --> 01:08:25,032
How do we know that you won't make
such a cock-up of this act
501
01:08:25,200 --> 01:08:29,194
that it will never be seen again
in the history of the world?
502
01:08:29,360 --> 01:08:34,276
Are you a funny man, Mr Tarascas?
How funny are you?
503
01:08:37,400 --> 01:08:41,872
Either they want to trade or they
don't. Nobody's forcing them.
504
01:08:42,360 --> 01:08:45,586
You're just a rich, spoiled brat!
505
01:08:45,686 --> 01:08:50,667
You don't have the humanity to see
this is not just buying a few jokes.
506
01:08:50,767 --> 01:08:54,906
This is buying their lives!
C'est monstrueux.
507
01:08:55,006 --> 01:08:58,038
What's more, it is absurd!
508
01:09:19,400 --> 01:09:22,705
I have no desire
to buy these gentlemen's lives.
509
01:09:22,805 --> 01:09:25,829
I respect your concern,
Mrs Whatever-your-name-is.
510
01:09:25,929 --> 01:09:30,392
But this hysterical talk grates on me.
Do we have a deal or don't we?
511
01:09:39,200 --> 01:09:44,986
If it's not too much to ask,
may I now see what I risked £5,000 on?
512
01:09:45,086 --> 01:09:47,420
Risked.
513
01:09:58,040 --> 01:10:01,266
What first?
Looks like a restaurant sketch.
514
01:10:01,366 --> 01:10:05,274
You've never seen one like this.
It's got stuff no one ever attempted.
515
01:10:05,440 --> 01:10:09,036
- Nobody could touch 'em.
- Good, that's what I want.
516
01:10:29,920 --> 01:10:31,587
Stop!
517
01:10:33,760 --> 01:10:36,224
Tell them to stop.
518
01:10:36,324 --> 01:10:39,154
Stop, lads.
519
01:10:42,360 --> 01:10:44,750
Let me see something else.
520
01:11:05,640 --> 01:11:07,307
Stop!
521
01:11:07,928 --> 01:11:11,146
We've got a routine with a
comedy cabin and a dead fish.
522
01:11:11,246 --> 01:11:14,748
I don't want to see it.
Not today, thank you.
523
01:11:14,848 --> 01:11:17,036
Oh, boy. Can you beat this?
524
01:11:20,520 --> 01:11:22,905
He's probably just lost for words.
525
01:11:23,005 --> 01:11:25,225
It wasn't part of the deal,
526
01:11:25,325 --> 01:11:29,394
but if you ask nicely, they might do
the beating-each-other-up sketch.
527
01:11:29,560 --> 01:11:33,190
- That never fails. It'll kill ya'.
- No!
528
01:11:34,360 --> 01:11:38,427
- I don't want any more from them.
- What the hell's the problem?
529
01:11:38,527 --> 01:11:41,240
What's the problem? I'll tell you.
530
01:11:41,400 --> 01:11:45,792
I've seen all this stuff.
This act doesn't even belong to them.
531
01:11:45,960 --> 01:11:50,069
- Then who does it belong to?
- Don't tell me you don't know!
532
01:11:50,169 --> 01:11:53,146
OK...
Taking me for a sucker is one thing.
533
01:11:53,246 --> 01:11:58,706
Trying to sucker my father is another.
When George Fawkes finds out you...
534
01:11:58,806 --> 01:12:03,505
- George Fawkes?
- George is your father? You're Tommy?
535
01:12:03,605 --> 01:12:07,427
I am. And I'll tell you
who's angry here. I am!
536
01:12:07,527 --> 01:12:12,986
- What about the £1,000?
- They should pay, with interest!
537
01:12:13,086 --> 01:12:17,836
- You'll be hearing from my lawyers!
- You can reach me at my office.
538
01:12:21,000 --> 01:12:24,705
Well, even if it's true,
passing off isn't a UK offence.
539
01:12:24,805 --> 01:12:29,745
- What do you mean "if"?
- I'm afraid you owe them £1,000.
540
01:12:29,845 --> 01:12:34,835
Pay 'em! Go ahead!
Pay 'em the whole amount. £5,000!
541
01:12:35,760 --> 01:12:38,150
What are you saying?
542
01:12:38,320 --> 01:12:42,439
It was their material first.
I can't believe it wasn't.
543
01:12:42,600 --> 01:12:44,831
Those guys can't lie.
544
01:12:45,000 --> 01:12:50,075
Oh, God, tell them I'm sorry.
It's not them I'm angry at.
545
01:12:51,040 --> 01:12:54,388
My father stole material.
546
01:12:54,488 --> 01:12:57,837
Gosh! I see.
547
01:13:14,240 --> 01:13:20,032
- I had a little red car.
- Yes. You drove it into everything.
548
01:13:20,560 --> 01:13:22,546
Did the sun shine every day?
549
01:13:22,646 --> 01:13:27,760
No. You were just a little boy.
You were six when you left.
550
01:13:29,040 --> 01:13:31,555
But we were happy, right?
Why did we leave in such a hurry?
551
01:13:31,720 --> 01:13:34,394
Why did we never see you again?
552
01:13:35,800 --> 01:13:39,388
Yes, it was a special time.
553
01:13:39,488 --> 01:13:44,670
We worked together, we laughed
together, we lived together.
554
01:13:44,770 --> 01:13:48,544
Something was bound to happen.
555
01:13:48,644 --> 01:13:51,360
Then it was time for you to go.
556
01:13:51,520 --> 01:13:56,037
Your father took
his little boy, his lovely wife
557
01:13:56,200 --> 01:13:59,193
and an act that didn't belong to him.
558
01:14:00,040 --> 01:14:03,033
We never heard from him again.
559
01:14:04,240 --> 01:14:07,472
He left us with nothing.
560
01:14:11,440 --> 01:14:13,397
Sorry, I...
561
01:14:15,280 --> 01:14:18,273
Well, not quite nothing.
562
01:14:32,720 --> 01:14:35,633
What do you mean?
563
01:14:38,920 --> 01:14:45,264
- Why are you laughing?
- You're so opposite. Half-brothers.
564
01:14:45,364 --> 01:14:48,512
My God, it's so funny.
565
01:14:49,440 --> 01:14:53,229
Tommy, what did you expect to find?
566
01:14:57,520 --> 01:15:00,854
Be my love
567
01:15:01,920 --> 01:15:07,837
For no one else canend this yearning
568
01:15:08,640 --> 01:15:14,716
This need thatyou and you alone create
569
01:15:15,960 --> 01:15:21,354
Just fill my armsthe way you fill my...
570
01:15:56,480 --> 01:16:02,425
Tommy! Your father is worried
to death. He's in the pool.
571
01:16:02,525 --> 01:16:06,673
Hold on. Wait a minute. Hold on.
Don't go away.
572
01:16:08,520 --> 01:16:13,507
Don't tell Dad I called. I want to
tell him everything in my own way.
573
01:16:13,607 --> 01:16:17,667
George!
Quick, it's Tommy. He's on the phone.
574
01:16:17,767 --> 01:16:19,877
Forget the shoes.
575
01:16:22,520 --> 01:16:26,709
I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying.
Martha, hold that, please.
576
01:16:26,809 --> 01:16:29,872
Hello, Tommy?
You were great! They were bastards.
577
01:16:30,040 --> 01:16:32,999
Did they come to laugh or be embalmed?
578
01:16:33,160 --> 01:16:37,865
Your mom thinks you're in Hawaii,
I think you're with that snake woman.
579
01:16:37,965 --> 01:16:41,265
Don't feel you have to tell us
where you are.
580
01:16:41,365 --> 01:16:45,586
- I feel I should tell you where I am.
- You don't have to.
581
01:16:45,686 --> 01:16:48,267
I want to tell you where I am.
582
01:16:48,367 --> 01:16:51,586
- OK, where are you?
- Blackpool.
583
01:16:51,686 --> 01:16:53,990
- You're where?
- Where is he?
584
01:16:58,760 --> 01:17:02,268
That's right, I'm in Blackpool.
585
01:17:02,368 --> 01:17:05,708
And Dad, I know everything.
586
01:17:05,808 --> 01:17:08,235
What's he saying?
587
01:17:08,440 --> 01:17:10,388
It's not a breakdown, is it?
588
01:17:10,488 --> 01:17:15,148
Quiet! I'm trying to listen.
How did you find them?
589
01:17:15,248 --> 01:17:17,465
They found me.
590
01:17:17,565 --> 01:17:20,945
I'm coming over.
591
01:17:21,045 --> 01:17:23,787
- Please don't come over.
- I'm coming.
592
01:17:23,887 --> 01:17:25,792
It would be better for me if you...
593
01:17:27,560 --> 01:17:29,153
Tommy?
594
01:17:32,160 --> 01:17:35,119
Don't do it, Dad. Please don't.
595
01:17:35,280 --> 01:17:37,280
Tommy?
596
01:17:38,480 --> 01:17:40,153
I lost him.
597
01:17:41,800 --> 01:17:44,634
Where are you going?
598
01:17:55,640 --> 01:17:58,519
Do I get any kind of explanation?
599
01:17:59,600 --> 01:18:03,630
Look, I want to spend time with you.
I think we can help each other.
600
01:18:03,730 --> 01:18:07,627
Show me whatever you want.
I'm not afraid to learn.
601
01:18:07,727 --> 01:18:12,158
You see... I don't have long left.
602
01:18:15,480 --> 01:18:21,628
Your mother told me to leave you
alone, but you can't shock me.
603
01:18:21,728 --> 01:18:24,519
I want you to know that.
604
01:21:23,680 --> 01:21:25,347
Jack?
605
01:22:19,360 --> 01:22:21,272
Silly thing.
606
01:22:55,880 --> 01:22:58,679
That's all?
607
01:22:58,840 --> 01:23:04,234
Poor Marcel. He was a real buddy.
608
01:23:07,040 --> 01:23:11,273
I've known him
since we were in the army together.
609
01:23:11,920 --> 01:23:15,231
You were in the army?
610
01:23:17,360 --> 01:23:20,797
I didn't know that.
611
01:23:22,520 --> 01:23:25,115
What regiment might that be?
612
01:23:51,360 --> 01:23:53,317
Here you go.
613
01:24:12,520 --> 01:24:16,427
That hurt! That really hurt!
It shouldn't hurt.
614
01:24:16,527 --> 01:24:19,267
- That's a straight nap.
- You didn't pull your punch.
615
01:24:19,367 --> 01:24:22,628
- A pulled punch is called a nap.
- Then give me a nap.
616
01:24:22,728 --> 01:24:26,157
You can't if you want big laughs,
can ya?
617
01:24:26,320 --> 01:24:28,835
But we're rehearsing. You'll kill me.
618
01:24:29,000 --> 01:24:32,118
- I'll show you another way.
- Good.
619
01:24:57,160 --> 01:25:00,836
- Wait. I've had it with the slaps.
- It won't hurt, honest.
620
01:25:01,800 --> 01:25:04,793
Don't flinch or I won't hit you.
621
01:25:10,720 --> 01:25:13,440
It didn't hurt.
622
01:25:14,320 --> 01:25:16,994
Now what?
623
01:25:21,720 --> 01:25:26,505
It's up your sleeve. The audience
think it's in the newspaper.
624
01:25:26,605 --> 01:25:31,914
But you keep it up your sleeve.
Let it out through the newspaper.
625
01:25:32,320 --> 01:25:34,508
That's neat.
626
01:25:34,608 --> 01:25:36,114
That's really neat.
627
01:25:41,640 --> 01:25:43,950
Did you see this?
628
01:25:46,120 --> 01:25:48,271
You stole two feet?
629
01:25:54,920 --> 01:25:58,385
A part of you guys has always
stayed with me.
630
01:25:58,485 --> 01:26:01,075
Yeah, the act.
631
01:26:05,560 --> 01:26:09,031
What's he like?
632
01:26:11,040 --> 01:26:14,397
I believe he's greater,
633
01:26:14,560 --> 01:26:17,519
funnier than any of us.
634
01:26:21,280 --> 01:26:23,228
It's like...
635
01:26:23,328 --> 01:26:28,520
If we'd wanted the funniest childat the expense of everything else,
636
01:26:29,760 --> 01:26:33,428
then our prayers were answered.
637
01:26:33,528 --> 01:26:36,354
Too loudly.
638
01:26:40,480 --> 01:26:45,839
- You know, people say love child?
- Yes, in the sixties. Go on.
639
01:26:47,600 --> 01:26:53,790
I know you and Katie were in love.
I don't mind. Honest, I don't.
640
01:26:55,320 --> 01:26:59,792
But it's like he's a laugh child.
641
01:27:02,880 --> 01:27:06,317
And we've all paid for it.
642
01:27:10,120 --> 01:27:12,388
Shall I pull him back up?
643
01:27:12,488 --> 01:27:14,597
Shall I?
644
01:27:15,760 --> 01:27:17,797
Shall I?
645
01:27:29,520 --> 01:27:33,869
After the accident,they told us to plead that he was
646
01:27:33,969 --> 01:27:36,350
maladjusted. To put him in a home.
647
01:27:41,120 --> 01:27:43,510
Let me out.
648
01:27:49,680 --> 01:27:53,587
The comedy
of the magnificent shambles.
649
01:27:53,687 --> 01:27:57,594
Purposeful, intentional chaos.
650
01:27:59,400 --> 01:28:03,360
If it isn't funny,
you die a double death. Right?
651
01:28:03,520 --> 01:28:05,318
Isn't that right?
652
01:28:15,480 --> 01:28:17,949
OK, let's start.
653
01:28:18,800 --> 01:28:23,990
I never saw anything funny that
wasn't terrible, didn't cause pain.
654
01:28:24,090 --> 01:28:26,549
Jack believed that
more than any of us.
655
01:28:29,160 --> 01:28:33,154
He saw thingshe shouldn't have seen.
656
01:28:34,600 --> 01:28:40,198
It wasn't Katie's fault.Francesco used to bait him with it.
657
01:29:57,280 --> 01:29:58,280
No!
658
01:30:49,680 --> 01:30:52,673
Why did you stop?
659
01:31:12,280 --> 01:31:17,667
Did they laugh? In Vegas,
when you took over the spot?
660
01:31:17,767 --> 01:31:21,145
- You know about that?
- Did they laugh?
661
01:31:21,245 --> 01:31:25,227
You know the one they liked best?
The joke I bought from Sammy Feingold
662
01:31:25,327 --> 01:31:30,185
two days before his triple bypass.
Or 3 days before his double bypass.
663
01:31:30,285 --> 01:31:33,868
- It's wartime France, right?
- I don't want to hear it.
664
01:31:33,968 --> 01:31:39,709
There's a dogfight, and in it is
François the Fighter Pilot.
665
01:31:39,809 --> 01:31:41,786
Dad! I don't want to hear it.
666
01:31:41,886 --> 01:31:45,867
He takes a hit. His plane is on fire
and crashes in a cornfield.
667
01:31:45,967 --> 01:31:48,670
Please, stop. I'm asking you to stop.
668
01:31:48,770 --> 01:31:52,747
Wait a minute. This girl comes running
out of the farmhouse
669
01:31:52,847 --> 01:31:57,471
and pulls his body from the blaze.
She nurses him back to health.
670
01:31:57,640 --> 01:32:00,155
- I don't wanna hear it.
- Tommy, listen.
671
01:32:00,320 --> 01:32:04,917
This is terrific! He takes her
on a picnic to show his gratitude.
672
01:32:05,080 --> 01:32:08,437
I don't wanna hear
any more funny stories!
673
01:32:09,400 --> 01:32:11,710
Why are you so angry?
674
01:32:15,280 --> 01:32:18,591
Because the King of Originality
stole his act,
675
01:32:18,760 --> 01:32:21,912
because Mr Generosity is
a thief and a liar,
676
01:32:22,080 --> 01:32:25,960
because now I know
why Mother is the way she is,
677
01:32:26,120 --> 01:32:30,797
and because the Parkers brought up
your son and lost everything!
678
01:32:35,680 --> 01:32:40,311
I'm angry because for 30 years
I had this memory
679
01:32:40,480 --> 01:32:43,154
of sunshine and smiling people.
680
01:32:43,320 --> 01:32:46,313
It wasn't all sunshine
and smiles for them.
681
01:32:51,720 --> 01:32:54,749
We left them a lifetime of pain.
682
01:32:54,849 --> 01:32:57,833
Tommy, hear me! Tommy!
683
01:33:00,240 --> 01:33:04,024
What happened
happened because of love.
684
01:33:04,124 --> 01:33:10,108
We left because Katie got pregnant.
We both thought it was for the best.
685
01:33:10,208 --> 01:33:14,187
I'd have gotten in touch, but I
thought I'd done enough damage.
686
01:33:14,287 --> 01:33:19,108
Why did you steal their whole act?
Because you loved them so much?
687
01:33:19,208 --> 01:33:24,108
No, because I wanted a new act
that no one had seen in the States.
688
01:33:24,208 --> 01:33:29,666
I was ambitious. Is that a crime?
Did you never steal material, son?
689
01:33:29,766 --> 01:33:34,870
I knew their act.
It was a way in for me. Just a way in.
690
01:33:34,970 --> 01:33:39,477
I did it a couple of years,
then I became a joke man.
691
01:33:41,360 --> 01:33:44,665
Let me tell you something straight.
692
01:33:44,765 --> 01:33:47,320
About what kills me.
693
01:33:47,480 --> 01:33:51,440
It kills me that I got lazy,
using writers, not using me.
694
01:33:51,600 --> 01:33:55,587
We were funny! We didn't have to tell
funny stories. We were funny.
695
01:33:55,687 --> 01:33:58,629
We had funny bones!
696
01:33:58,729 --> 01:34:05,506
And what kills me most is watching
my own son flop time after time.
697
01:34:05,606 --> 01:34:11,029
However much I spent on writers and
coaches, it hasn't worked for you.
698
01:34:11,129 --> 01:34:14,708
It's like you're too educated
to be funny.
699
01:34:14,808 --> 01:34:19,431
All this analysis. I did that!
700
01:34:19,600 --> 01:34:21,592
There are two types of comedians.
701
01:34:21,760 --> 01:34:25,428
A funny bones comedian,
and a non-funny bones comedian.
702
01:34:25,528 --> 01:34:30,914
They're both funny.
One is funny, the other tells funny.
703
01:34:32,440 --> 01:34:34,909
And Tommy...
704
01:34:37,160 --> 01:34:42,909
It's time you knew... and this
kills me the most,
705
01:34:43,009 --> 01:34:45,435
but you're neither.
706
01:34:46,320 --> 01:34:48,880
You're not funny.
707
01:34:52,960 --> 01:34:58,911
Know it now. They're not gonna cheer
for you, no matter what you do.
708
01:35:02,240 --> 01:35:04,994
Did you fix it for the Parkers
to perform?
709
01:35:05,160 --> 01:35:09,040
The brothers, not the boy.
I'm trying to make it up to them.
710
01:35:09,200 --> 01:35:12,318
- Why not the boy?
- He killed a guy!
711
01:35:12,480 --> 01:35:16,185
A boxer kills a guy,
he maybe gets another fight.
712
01:35:16,285 --> 01:35:20,230
A clown kills a guy, you have
to admit that's bad box office.
713
01:35:20,330 --> 01:35:25,467
He's not like that. He's not crazy.
And for God's sake, he's your son.
714
01:35:25,567 --> 01:35:28,626
I'm sorry.
Even God couldn't swing that one.
715
01:35:28,726 --> 01:35:33,266
But the brothers are taken care of.
They're topping the bill.
716
01:35:33,366 --> 01:35:35,829
They happy?
717
01:36:00,360 --> 01:36:02,397
I've been diggin' my...
718
01:36:08,560 --> 01:36:12,395
I can't work anywhere anyway.
The policeman won't let me.
719
01:36:13,880 --> 01:36:15,314
Jack, my darling,
720
01:36:15,480 --> 01:36:20,350
this man Sharkey,
this horrible policeman,
721
01:36:20,520 --> 01:36:25,827
I will use all my power
to make him disappear for ever.
722
01:36:25,927 --> 01:36:27,832
I promise.
723
01:36:34,200 --> 01:36:35,867
Jack.
724
01:36:39,920 --> 01:36:42,667
Our suffering is special.
725
01:36:42,767 --> 01:36:48,757
The pain we feel is
worse than anyone else.
726
01:36:50,200 --> 01:36:56,188
But the sunrise we see is
more beautiful than anyone else.
727
01:36:56,288 --> 01:37:00,267
The Parkers is... like the moon.
728
01:37:00,367 --> 01:37:05,674
There's one side forever dark.
Invisible. As it should be.
729
01:37:07,080 --> 01:37:12,917
But remember, the dark moon
draws the tides also.
730
01:37:14,360 --> 01:37:17,797
Our time has come.
731
01:37:19,120 --> 01:37:22,909
That's the most wonderful thing
you've said in years.
732
01:37:23,720 --> 01:37:27,430
That's the only thing I said in years.
733
01:37:29,600 --> 01:37:32,150
And so it is
734
01:37:32,250 --> 01:37:35,153
that Blackpool welcomes back...
735
01:37:35,920 --> 01:37:38,480
George Fawkes!
736
01:37:41,360 --> 01:37:45,400
George, by the way,
when the time comes...
737
01:37:59,120 --> 01:38:02,397
I love this town!
738
01:38:39,040 --> 01:38:41,839
- You clapped for yourself yet?
- No.
739
01:38:42,000 --> 01:38:45,038
Let's hope we're not
the only ones who do.
740
01:39:01,480 --> 01:39:06,032
- That feels better.
- You're right. It does.
741
01:39:44,920 --> 01:39:46,912
Jack...
742
01:39:47,360 --> 01:39:49,352
Jesus Christ!
743
01:40:02,280 --> 01:40:05,000
Wait a minute! Are you in the circus?
744
01:40:05,160 --> 01:40:08,915
Are you a policeman?
Same answer. Sometimes.
745
01:40:09,080 --> 01:40:12,066
Are you French? You smell French.
746
01:40:12,166 --> 01:40:16,120
You smell like a toilet.
Look at you. What happened?
747
01:40:19,040 --> 01:40:21,953
Bill, Richard? Find Jack Parker!
748
01:40:28,960 --> 01:40:30,946
Who are you?
749
01:40:31,046 --> 01:40:35,398
I am Cleopatra, queen of all Egypt
750
01:40:35,560 --> 01:40:37,836
and goddess of love.
751
01:40:46,440 --> 01:40:51,385
- What's wrong with your trousers?
- Never mind. Find Jack Parker now.
752
01:40:51,485 --> 01:40:57,033
I've called in some more men.
I don't like it. I've seen...
753
01:41:00,080 --> 01:41:03,152
..faces. Cleopatra.
754
01:41:03,960 --> 01:41:05,792
Slaves.
755
01:41:07,520 --> 01:41:09,868
- How do you mean?
- I don't know.
756
01:41:09,968 --> 01:41:14,796
But it's all getting a bit French.
And I don't like it.
757
01:42:15,080 --> 01:42:20,467
He whose invisible perfume
will carry as swift as fear
758
01:42:20,567 --> 01:42:25,547
shall my asp find
and take with me to my grave.
759
01:42:25,647 --> 01:42:28,626
And I, breathless,
760
01:42:28,726 --> 01:42:31,633
power breathe forth!
761
01:42:42,760 --> 01:42:46,276
- What happened to your trousers?
- It's nothing.
762
01:45:34,160 --> 01:45:36,629
Best of luck, boys.
763
01:45:37,200 --> 01:45:40,389
We miss them.
We welcome them back!
764
01:45:40,489 --> 01:45:44,148
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you
765
01:45:44,248 --> 01:45:46,880
the Parker Brothers!
766
01:45:54,360 --> 01:45:57,353
- Everything all right, boys?
- Great.
767
01:46:14,800 --> 01:46:16,917
It's talcum powder.
768
01:46:25,120 --> 01:46:26,998
Get off me!
769
01:46:38,480 --> 01:46:41,473
Vive la resistance!
770
01:48:05,000 --> 01:48:06,798
You OK?
771
01:49:13,800 --> 01:49:16,952
We got a call from Sharkey.
No one knows where he is.
772
01:49:20,600 --> 01:49:22,193
Come on.
773
01:49:23,320 --> 01:49:27,314
Who's doing the sway pole?
Give us five minutes. I'll be back.
774
01:49:29,360 --> 01:49:31,795
Boys, your sway pole is ready.
775
01:49:35,120 --> 01:49:37,919
The finale.
776
01:51:25,920 --> 01:51:28,480
Climb the lamppost!
777
01:58:15,960 --> 01:58:17,589
Tommy!
778
01:58:17,689 --> 01:58:19,356
What?
779
01:58:19,649 --> 01:58:24,669
They're beginning to like you!
62252
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