1 00:01:24,166 --> 00:01:25,133 Yeah! 2 00:01:50,633 --> 00:01:52,266 How'd it go? 3 00:01:52,300 --> 00:01:55,300 Oh, I think the people who enjoyed it the most... 4 00:01:55,333 --> 00:01:57,300 were the ones who caught up on their sleep. 5 00:01:57,333 --> 00:02:01,266 Er, Laura and the kids have started eating. 6 00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:02,700 Where'd they go? 7 00:02:02,733 --> 00:02:05,400 Er... er, La Petit Vérité. 8 00:02:05,433 --> 00:02:09,433 Oh. Man, Jesus. 9 00:02:09,466 --> 00:02:10,766 You're not in the mood for French food? 10 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:14,033 No, it's not that, it's just... 11 00:02:14,066 --> 00:02:15,400 Are you‐‐ are you okay? 12 00:02:15,433 --> 00:02:18,233 No, I‐‐ I‐‐ you know, it's just... 13 00:02:18,266 --> 00:02:20,100 I mean, I don't get the idea of drama. 14 00:02:20,133 --> 00:02:23,500 I mean, it doesn't make people happy, right? 15 00:02:23,533 --> 00:02:25,566 Er, and‐‐ and you know, like people‐‐ 16 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:29,333 I know there's some people who‐‐ who, er, feel stuck in comedy... 17 00:02:29,366 --> 00:02:31,600 and they wanna prove themselves a serious actor. 18 00:02:31,633 --> 00:02:33,400 I don't. 19 00:02:33,433 --> 00:02:36,300 I mean, I love doing comedy. I love making people laugh. 20 00:02:36,333 --> 00:02:39,166 I‐‐ I don't feel like I need to win an award... 21 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,333 for long day's journey into boredom, you know? 22 00:02:41,366 --> 00:02:44,266 And yet here I am, doing another drama. 23 00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:47,333 You know, like a guy who‐‐ who's, er, you know... 24 00:02:47,366 --> 00:02:50,400 addicted to a drug that doesn't even get him high, you know? 25 00:02:50,433 --> 00:02:52,633 Like a cigarette smoker who doesn't even... 26 00:02:52,666 --> 00:02:54,366 like cigarettes, you know? 27 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:57,133 And yet, here he goes, having another cigarette... 28 00:02:57,166 --> 00:02:59,133 and another cigarette and another cigarette... 29 00:02:59,166 --> 00:03:01,600 and another cigarette. 30 00:03:01,633 --> 00:03:03,266 I get the idea, Woody. 31 00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:04,733 Have you ever had that... 32 00:03:04,766 --> 00:03:07,666 where you were addicted to something you didn't even like? 33 00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:09,566 Yeah, my girlfriend. 34 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,233 Oh, no kidding? 35 00:03:11,266 --> 00:03:14,133 Yeah, she just says the most awful things like... 36 00:03:14,166 --> 00:03:16,233 I brought her to dinner to meet my parents, right... 37 00:03:16,266 --> 00:03:18,766 and before we started eating my mum says, "Let's pray". 38 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,033 She goes, "I'm an atheist". 39 00:03:21,066 --> 00:03:23,666 Like she couldn't just go along with it. 40 00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:26,500 Wow, brutally honest. 41 00:03:26,533 --> 00:03:27,733 Yeah, definitely brutal. 42 00:03:27,766 --> 00:03:30,366 So we bow our heads, close our eyes, and she just sat there... 43 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:32,666 staring at us like we're morons. 44 00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:34,600 Well, how‐‐ how'd you know that? 45 00:03:34,633 --> 00:03:35,800 What? 46 00:03:35,833 --> 00:03:37,100 I mean, if your eyes are closed... 47 00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:38,600 how'd you know what she was doing? 48 00:03:38,633 --> 00:03:39,766 Oh, I peeped. 49 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:40,933 Oh. Yeah. 50 00:03:40,966 --> 00:03:43,366 So anyway, we get through the prayer, we start eating. 51 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:47,066 It's dead quiet in the room, uncomfortable quiet. 52 00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:50,333 And then she goes, "This chicken's overcooked". 53 00:03:50,366 --> 00:03:52,766 I'd rather her choke on that chicken, than say that. 54 00:03:54,666 --> 00:03:59,333 My god, that could not have gone over good with the parentals. 55 00:03:59,366 --> 00:04:01,100 No... well, my dad loves her. 56 00:04:01,133 --> 00:04:03,266 He says she's been over‐cooking the chicken for 25 years... 57 00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:05,366 and someone's finally called her out on it. 58 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:08,066 My mum asks me every day if I've managed to get rid of her yet. 59 00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:10,133 Ah! 60 00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:14,033 Well, I'm sorry about that, dude, you know... 61 00:04:14,066 --> 00:04:17,733 but I feel‐‐ I feel lucky, you know? 62 00:04:17,766 --> 00:04:22,600 It's like, er, Laura is so cool, you know? 63 00:04:22,633 --> 00:04:25,366 I mean, I‐I think that's true, that statement... 64 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:28,466 happy wife, happy life. 65 00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:31,566 Um, yeah. 66 00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:34,166 Huh? 67 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,233 What? 68 00:04:36,266 --> 00:04:37,033 What was that? 69 00:04:37,066 --> 00:04:40,066 What was what? What you just said. 70 00:04:40,100 --> 00:04:41,500 What'd I just say? 71 00:04:41,533 --> 00:04:43,466 Dude, is everything cool? 72 00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:45,433 Um, yeah. 73 00:04:45,466 --> 00:04:47,666 Okay, now that's twice. 74 00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:49,633 Yeah, I said "yeah" twice. 75 00:04:49,666 --> 00:04:51,633 Is there something you're not telling me? 76 00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:53,100 No. 77 00:04:53,133 --> 00:04:55,033 Are you sure? 78 00:04:55,066 --> 00:04:56,600 Um, yeah. 79 00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:01,766 Hi, Woody. Hi. 80 00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:04,533 Heavy play. 81 00:05:04,566 --> 00:05:06,066 Oh, tell me. 82 00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:08,566 I miss 'Cheers'. Me, too. 83 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,133 You were so young and innocent back then. 84 00:05:11,166 --> 00:05:14,500 Yeah, be a‐‐ give a lot to be either one of those things now. 85 00:05:14,533 --> 00:05:16,500 You're all right, Woody. Would you sign that for me, please? 86 00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:19,066 Dave. Don't sign for paparazzi, Dave. 87 00:05:19,100 --> 00:05:22,333 Apparently, you do pose for them, though, mate. 88 00:05:22,366 --> 00:05:25,733 Oh, yeah, lovely, lovely, mate. Lovely, thank you. 89 00:05:25,766 --> 00:05:27,400 Woody. Woody. Woody. 90 00:05:27,433 --> 00:05:31,300 Oh my god, I knew something was going on, dude. 91 00:05:31,333 --> 00:05:32,766 Yeah. 92 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:35,100 When‐‐ when did you see this? 93 00:05:35,133 --> 00:05:36,600 Just this morning. 94 00:05:36,633 --> 00:05:38,300 And you kept it from me all day? 95 00:05:38,333 --> 00:05:39,600 I didn't know you didn't know. 96 00:05:39,633 --> 00:05:42,266 Dude, of course you knew I didn't know. 97 00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:44,600 What would it have helped to say something earlier? 98 00:05:44,633 --> 00:05:47,266 Because knowledge is power, all right? 99 00:05:47,300 --> 00:05:51,033 For one thing, I never would've had Laura meet me out, okay? 100 00:05:51,066 --> 00:05:53,400 The second she walks out that door... 101 00:05:53,433 --> 00:05:56,800 the chances of her seeing it double, quadruple. 102 00:05:56,833 --> 00:05:59,600 Sept... sept‐‐ 103 00:05:59,633 --> 00:06:01,066 I'm sorry, Woody. 104 00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:02,566 Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man. 105 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:06,066 Just relax, just relax, don't get worked up. 106 00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:08,133 Remember your chi, you taught me that. 107 00:06:08,166 --> 00:06:10,466 It's fine, this is nothing new. 108 00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:13,466 Losing my wife is new, dude. 109 00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:17,633 Yeah. No, no, you're fine, maybe she hasn't even seen it. 110 00:06:17,666 --> 00:06:20,533 Oh, that's true, I mean, maybe she hasn't seen it. 111 00:06:20,566 --> 00:06:22,466 Yeah, you'd be able to tell, as soon as you see her... 112 00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:23,600 if she's seen it or not. 113 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,700 Right. If she hasn't, get her home. 114 00:06:25,733 --> 00:06:27,300 Right, get her home immediately. 115 00:06:27,333 --> 00:06:28,600 And there's a good chance she never will see it. 116 00:06:28,633 --> 00:06:30,300 Right, right. Yeah, yeah, that's true. 117 00:06:30,333 --> 00:06:31,666 Stay positive, life's good. 118 00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:34,400 Right, right, positive, yeah, life is good. 119 00:06:34,433 --> 00:06:35,533 Life's great. 120 00:06:35,566 --> 00:06:36,733 Right, right, life is great. 121 00:06:36,766 --> 00:06:38,033 It's a good day. 122 00:06:38,066 --> 00:06:40,033 It's a great day, man. 123 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:41,566 Yeah, you got it, Woods. 124 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:44,366 Alex, you are such a good buddy, man. 125 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:46,666 Hey, will you come in there with me? 126 00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:48,333 God, no, no, if she has seen it... 127 00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:49,600 I don't wanna be anywhere near you, mate. 128 00:06:49,633 --> 00:06:51,266 Good luck, though, yeah. 129 00:07:06,433 --> 00:07:09,333 Good evening, sir. Thank you. 130 00:07:09,366 --> 00:07:12,400 Hi, hon. Hi, love. 131 00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:14,100 How you doing? I'm good. 132 00:07:14,133 --> 00:07:15,300 Yeah? Yeah. 133 00:07:15,333 --> 00:07:17,500 Everything's groovy? 134 00:07:17,533 --> 00:07:19,400 Why are you acting so strange? 135 00:07:19,433 --> 00:07:22,100 I'm not, I'm not acting str‐‐ 136 00:07:22,133 --> 00:07:23,666 Because it's coming and I‐‐ 137 00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:26,333 It's cold out there and my lips‐‐ 138 00:07:26,366 --> 00:07:29,266 It's coming off as strange, but I'm just strangely happy. 139 00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:32,800 Er, did you eat? Yeah, we ate. 140 00:07:32,833 --> 00:07:34,266 Let's get the check. 141 00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:35,433 Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's the rush? 142 00:07:35,466 --> 00:07:37,166 Sit down. Look, I got this for you. You're not hungry? 143 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:38,366 Well, let's doggy bag it, you know‐‐ 144 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:41,266 No, sit down, tell me how the show was tonight, come on. 145 00:07:41,300 --> 00:07:43,533 It was‐‐ it was good. It was just, er‐‐ 146 00:07:43,566 --> 00:07:46,433 You know, I, I wanna get you home and, you know... 147 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:49,100 er, maybe get you, and run you a hot bath. 148 00:07:49,133 --> 00:07:51,100 And‐‐ and maybe give you a massage... 149 00:07:51,133 --> 00:07:52,766 and then get you drunk and take advantage of you. 150 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:55,100 Really? Yeah. 151 00:07:55,133 --> 00:07:57,300 Wow, what has gotten into you? 152 00:07:57,333 --> 00:08:01,533 Nothing, I just‐‐ I feel so lucky to be your husband. 153 00:08:01,566 --> 00:08:04,033 You are lucky. 154 00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:05,600 So am I. 155 00:08:05,633 --> 00:08:09,166 And maybe, if you're really, really lucky... 156 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,500 I might just let you take advantage of me. 157 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:16,500 Um, so where's the rascals? And you know what? 158 00:08:16,533 --> 00:08:18,133 There's still plenty of wine left in this bottle. 159 00:08:18,166 --> 00:08:19,333 You want me to pour you a glass? 160 00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:20,600 Let's just cork it, drink it in the tub. 161 00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:22,100 Where's the munchkins? 162 00:08:22,133 --> 00:08:24,566 They're around here somewhere. Here you are, sir. 163 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:26,100 Oh, wonderful, wonderful. 164 00:08:26,133 --> 00:08:28,300 Can we get the wine and the food to go, please? 165 00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:29,400 Oh, certainly, sir, no problem. 166 00:08:29,433 --> 00:08:31,133 Okay, great. 167 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,566 I'm just kidding. 168 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,700 No, what's the best tip you ever got? 169 00:08:41,733 --> 00:08:44,333 To buy Apple. 170 00:08:44,366 --> 00:08:46,133 That's funny, you're funny. 171 00:08:46,166 --> 00:08:48,466 Yeah, people have accused me of that. 172 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:52,133 Er, so can I get some candles, maybe? 173 00:08:52,166 --> 00:08:54,700 Whoa, whoa, what has gotten into you tonight? 174 00:08:54,733 --> 00:08:56,266 Well, you know, for the tub, you know. 175 00:08:56,300 --> 00:08:58,266 Er, 'Be Prepared', Boy Scout motto. 176 00:08:58,300 --> 00:09:00,233 Wait, you were a Boy Scout? 177 00:09:00,266 --> 00:09:02,266 Er, Cub, but highly decorated. 178 00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:04,166 Oh, I wish I could have known you then. 179 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:07,466 Honey, that's almost weird, you'd be way too old for me. 180 00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:09,466 I bet you were a hot, little Cub Scout. 181 00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:13,166 Honey... I think she's having a Chinese reaction to the wine. 182 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:15,300 500. Huh? 183 00:09:15,333 --> 00:09:17,466 The biggest tip I've ever gotten, 500 pounds. 184 00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:19,500 Holy moly. 185 00:09:19,533 --> 00:09:20,733 Is this 'Natural Born Killer'... 186 00:09:20,766 --> 00:09:22,100 making you an 'Indecent Proposal'? 187 00:09:22,133 --> 00:09:23,100 Oh... 188 00:09:23,133 --> 00:09:24,666 Hey, you can tell me, 'White Men Can't Jump'. 189 00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:26,400 Oh, that's, that's good. Yeah. 190 00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:29,333 500. Oh, oh, right, right. 191 00:09:29,366 --> 00:09:33,500 Hey, yeah... that's sizeable. Okay, here you go. 192 00:09:33,533 --> 00:09:35,466 That's a little‐‐ you know what? 193 00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:40,466 I'm not gonna be able to meet that, er, huge, er, number... 194 00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:43,266 that‐‐ whoever that guy, Aristotle‐fricking‐Onassis. 195 00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:45,666 Here, this is‐‐ okay, that's for you. 196 00:09:45,700 --> 00:09:47,066 Very kind, sir. 197 00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:49,633 Ah, to whom much is given, much is required. 198 00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:52,666 Hello, Laura. Hi. 199 00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:54,266 Woody, how are you? 200 00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:56,700 Oh, yeah, hey, hey, uh, good, good. How are you doing? 201 00:09:56,733 --> 00:09:59,566 Excellent, yeah. D'you remember my name? 202 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:03,466 Oh, your name, er, let's see. Don't tell me. 203 00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:07,066 Moo, Moo, Momah, Mohammed... no, Mu, Musta... 204 00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:09,166 It starts with an 'M', right? 205 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:11,366 Alan. Alan, right, sorry, yeah. 206 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:12,800 Just another handsome Arab to you, aren't I? 207 00:10:12,833 --> 00:10:15,400 Right, you really are a handsome Arab. 208 00:10:15,433 --> 00:10:16,733 I'm Iranian. 209 00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:22,645 Oh, it's a pretty language, huh? 210 00:10:22,678 --> 00:10:23,845 Would you like to meet the prince? 211 00:10:23,878 --> 00:10:27,311 Oh, yeah, I never met a prince before, other than Prince. 212 00:10:27,345 --> 00:10:28,545 You wanna meet a prince? Yeah. 213 00:10:28,578 --> 00:10:31,278 Woody, this is Prince Abu Ali Adullah Bin Saltan Al Rahmanil. 214 00:10:31,311 --> 00:10:34,611 Oh, hey, nice to... Oh my god! 215 00:10:34,645 --> 00:10:36,978 Hey, careful, there's gravity there. 216 00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:39,211 Good one. You okay, Papa? 217 00:10:39,245 --> 00:10:41,478 Er, yeah. 218 00:10:41,511 --> 00:10:43,578 Oh, no, you tied other people's shoes? 219 00:10:43,611 --> 00:10:45,711 We tied everybody's. 220 00:10:45,745 --> 00:10:47,411 What should we do, Papa? 221 00:10:47,445 --> 00:10:49,378 Oh, er, well, if I raised you right, you'll go over there... 222 00:10:49,411 --> 00:10:51,211 and apologize to 'em. 223 00:10:51,245 --> 00:10:52,378 Okay. 224 00:10:59,245 --> 00:11:01,145 - What do we do now? - Run! 225 00:11:01,178 --> 00:11:03,145 That barman needs to cut these people off. 226 00:11:05,645 --> 00:11:07,478 Hey. 227 00:11:07,511 --> 00:11:08,645 Nice to meet you. 228 00:11:08,678 --> 00:11:10,511 It's a real pleasure to meet you. 229 00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:11,478 Oh... 230 00:11:11,511 --> 00:11:15,245 You know, you have given me many, many, many... 231 00:11:15,278 --> 00:11:19,011 many, many, many, many, many, many... 232 00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:21,578 many hours of entertainment. 233 00:11:21,611 --> 00:11:24,411 So many "manys". This is my wife, Laura. 234 00:11:24,445 --> 00:11:26,345 Hello. Oh... 235 00:11:28,578 --> 00:11:30,645 Enchanté. 236 00:11:30,678 --> 00:11:33,645 Wow, you are a real beauty. 237 00:11:33,678 --> 00:11:35,345 Oh, thank you. Truly. 238 00:11:35,378 --> 00:11:36,478 You're sweet. 239 00:11:36,511 --> 00:11:40,478 No, no, no, no, no, you're sweet, like sticky honey. 240 00:11:40,511 --> 00:11:42,445 Er... thank you. 241 00:11:42,478 --> 00:11:43,678 Um... 242 00:11:43,711 --> 00:11:47,445 Well, I'm just gonna, er, run to the little girls' room, Romeo. 243 00:11:47,478 --> 00:11:48,978 Oh, we got‐‐ we got a bathroom... 244 00:11:49,011 --> 00:11:51,645 back at the‐‐ back at the hotel, Juliet. 245 00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:53,111 I'll be right back. 246 00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:55,211 Okay, I'll meet you back here in a trice. 247 00:11:55,245 --> 00:11:57,111 And, I don't even know what that word means. 248 00:11:57,145 --> 00:11:59,111 Oh. Ow. 249 00:11:59,145 --> 00:12:01,278 There's more where that came from. 250 00:12:01,311 --> 00:12:03,578 Wow, you are really feeling randy tonight, huh? 251 00:12:03,611 --> 00:12:06,111 "Randy", that's a good word, too, right? 252 00:12:06,145 --> 00:12:07,278 You scallywag. 253 00:12:07,311 --> 00:12:09,278 Oh, um, you rapscallion. 254 00:12:09,311 --> 00:12:11,445 You scamp. Miscreant. 255 00:12:11,478 --> 00:12:13,078 Bitch. 256 00:12:14,578 --> 00:12:16,745 So, er, how do you know the prince? 257 00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:18,378 Er, he adopted me. 258 00:12:18,411 --> 00:12:20,745 I was a bastard child and he raised me like a baby fawn. 259 00:12:20,778 --> 00:12:25,278 He is a fawn in my side. Fawn in my side. 260 00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:26,745 You'd tell me if I smelled like BO, would you? 261 00:12:26,778 --> 00:12:28,311 Oh my god, babe, of course. 262 00:12:28,345 --> 00:12:29,678 My god, I thought it was me... 263 00:12:29,711 --> 00:12:31,211 and then I hugged that guy Alan‐‐ 264 00:12:31,245 --> 00:12:33,978 In the green velvet jacket? Yeah, he stinks. 265 00:12:34,011 --> 00:12:36,645 His laugh annoys me as well, I've gotta be honest. 266 00:12:38,078 --> 00:12:40,978 ♪ I'm learning to love myself ♪ 267 00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:44,078 ♪ Yeah I'm learning to love myself ♪ 268 00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:46,045 ♪ I'm learn‐‐ ♪ 269 00:12:46,078 --> 00:12:47,711 No, keep going. My God. 270 00:12:47,745 --> 00:12:51,011 Keep going. I'm‐‐ I'm so embarrassed. 271 00:12:51,045 --> 00:12:54,578 Cute. Yeah... oh, no. 272 00:12:54,611 --> 00:12:57,445 Okay, I'm gonna ask you honestly and just the once... 273 00:12:57,478 --> 00:13:00,578 but d'you feel like my neck has grown? 274 00:13:00,611 --> 00:13:04,411 Look at me, like out, like the circumference of it? 275 00:13:04,445 --> 00:13:06,078 Well, that's a 'yes', 'cause I can see it in your face. What? 276 00:13:06,111 --> 00:13:07,278 Babe, babe, do you know what you should do? 277 00:13:07,311 --> 00:13:09,345 Do this, but with your neck. Really? How often? 278 00:13:09,378 --> 00:13:11,611 Just like every morning when you wake up. 279 00:13:11,645 --> 00:13:13,378 I mean, the fat might displace to another part of your body... 280 00:13:13,411 --> 00:13:15,078 but I'm sure you'll be fine. 281 00:13:15,111 --> 00:13:18,178 I used to hate my nose, now it's my neck. 282 00:13:18,211 --> 00:13:20,511 Your nose is fine. Come in sooner with that. 283 00:13:20,545 --> 00:13:23,545 Babe, your nose is fine, you're being ridiculous. 284 00:13:23,578 --> 00:13:26,178 Okay. So which one do you want? 285 00:13:26,211 --> 00:13:28,745 I don't know. I think Sayed is really sexy. 286 00:13:28,778 --> 00:13:31,011 I'm so glad you said that because, honestly... 287 00:13:31,045 --> 00:13:32,478 the prince is mine tonight. 288 00:13:32,511 --> 00:13:33,678 If I get rid of this neck thing... 289 00:13:33,711 --> 00:13:37,478 I'm gonna sit on that throne. Am I right? 290 00:13:37,511 --> 00:13:38,611 The prince? Too much? 291 00:13:38,645 --> 00:13:40,611 He's like four times your age. 292 00:13:40,645 --> 00:13:42,245 And that's your judgement face. 293 00:13:42,278 --> 00:13:43,711 Babe, I'm your friend, I don't judge you. 294 00:13:43,745 --> 00:13:47,311 Yeah, exactly, okay, so the prince is mine tonight... 295 00:13:47,345 --> 00:13:49,978 and you can have Seaweed. 296 00:13:50,011 --> 00:13:50,978 Seaweed? 297 00:13:51,011 --> 00:13:52,078 Am I saying that wrong? 298 00:13:52,111 --> 00:13:53,978 Babe, his name is Sayed, it's not that hard to say. 299 00:13:54,011 --> 00:13:55,545 Wait, did you see this? 300 00:13:58,011 --> 00:13:59,545 No, no, no, no. Grim. 301 00:13:59,578 --> 00:14:02,645 No, look, and the funniest thing about this is that... 302 00:14:02,678 --> 00:14:05,678 he's actually upstairs right now with his wife. 303 00:14:05,711 --> 00:14:07,011 You know, the Asian one? 304 00:14:07,045 --> 00:14:08,211 That's his wife? Yes. 305 00:14:08,245 --> 00:14:10,445 And they're okay with this? Well, she didn't seem upset... 306 00:14:10,478 --> 00:14:11,545 and they actually seemed quite happy. 307 00:14:11,578 --> 00:14:14,711 Although, Asians are the masters of hiding emotion. 308 00:14:14,745 --> 00:14:17,078 So true. Mmm‐hmm. 309 00:14:17,111 --> 00:14:19,478 Oh, she's so fit, so much fitter than any of these. 310 00:14:19,511 --> 00:14:22,378 God, so much surgery in one photograph. 311 00:14:22,411 --> 00:14:23,211 Do I need surgery here? 312 00:14:23,245 --> 00:14:25,278 Babe, just slap it, you'll be fine. 313 00:14:25,311 --> 00:14:26,311 D'you know what I think? 314 00:14:26,345 --> 00:14:29,445 This is options though, for you, for tonight. 315 00:14:29,478 --> 00:14:31,445 Come on, they're obviously not happily married. 316 00:14:31,478 --> 00:14:33,445 If you don't wanna go for Seaweed, I'd go for him. 317 00:14:33,478 --> 00:14:34,678 I think he's an actor. 318 00:14:34,711 --> 00:14:35,678 I don't do 'married'. 319 00:14:35,711 --> 00:14:37,178 He likes Asians anyway. 320 00:14:37,211 --> 00:14:39,345 Babe, none of these women are Asian. 321 00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:42,011 Well, not with those boobs, no. 322 00:14:42,045 --> 00:14:43,245 Okay, you good? 323 00:14:43,278 --> 00:14:46,545 Yeah. I'm just checking I have it. Yeah. 324 00:14:46,578 --> 00:14:49,245 You good? Fine, let's go. 325 00:14:49,278 --> 00:14:50,245 Yeah. 326 00:14:50,278 --> 00:14:51,478 Oh, teeth, teeth, teeth, teeth. 327 00:14:51,511 --> 00:14:53,411 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, check me. Am I okay? 328 00:14:53,445 --> 00:14:55,011 Okay and me? Definitely? 329 00:14:55,045 --> 00:14:56,445 Yeah, you're fine. Are you sure? No Seaweed? 330 00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:58,978 Not yet there isn't. 331 00:14:59,011 --> 00:15:00,511 Can you just check the bogies for me? 332 00:15:00,545 --> 00:15:01,611 Yeah. Okay, you're good. Me? 333 00:15:01,645 --> 00:15:03,311 Am I clear? Clear skies, yeah. 334 00:15:03,345 --> 00:15:04,445 Are you sure? Yeah. 335 00:15:04,478 --> 00:15:05,711 Wait, is he an actor... 336 00:15:05,745 --> 00:15:07,478 or am I just completely getting that wrong? 337 00:15:07,511 --> 00:15:09,511 Oh my god, yeah, babe, he's been in so many films. 338 00:15:09,545 --> 00:15:13,345 I feel like it's TV. Yes. Oh my god, what's it called? 339 00:15:13,378 --> 00:15:16,478 It's so famous, and it made him. 340 00:15:16,511 --> 00:15:17,578 'Full House'. 341 00:15:17,611 --> 00:15:19,011 D'you know what? I never saw that. 342 00:15:19,045 --> 00:15:23,345 Woody, I wonder if I can interest you in, um... 343 00:15:23,378 --> 00:15:26,078 going out with us for a few drinks? 344 00:15:26,111 --> 00:15:28,211 Uh, no, any other night but, you know, it's‐‐ 345 00:15:28,245 --> 00:15:31,078 It's actually 'date' night for me and the wifey‐poo. 346 00:15:31,111 --> 00:15:32,478 You know, we're like newly‐weds. 347 00:15:32,511 --> 00:15:33,578 I mean, she's so... Really? 348 00:15:33,611 --> 00:15:34,678 ...ravenous for me. 349 00:15:34,711 --> 00:15:35,645 Wow. 350 00:15:35,678 --> 00:15:37,311 Yeah, I mean, she's like a jaguar on the hunt. 351 00:15:37,345 --> 00:15:40,178 I can picture her now, tearing at your flesh. 352 00:15:40,211 --> 00:15:43,545 Yeah. Whoa, whoa, a jaguar. 353 00:15:43,578 --> 00:15:46,178 Honey? 354 00:15:46,211 --> 00:15:48,011 Were you just hoping I wouldn't see this? 355 00:15:48,045 --> 00:15:50,211 I am so sorry, honey. 356 00:15:50,245 --> 00:15:53,678 Three women? How, how does that even happen? 357 00:15:53,711 --> 00:15:58,145 Well, I mean, they‐‐ they came up to me outside of this bar... 358 00:15:58,178 --> 00:16:01,578 and they‐‐ er, they asked me... 359 00:16:01,611 --> 00:16:05,578 if I wanted to take a walk on the wild side. 360 00:16:05,611 --> 00:16:07,645 A walk on the wild side? 361 00:16:07,678 --> 00:16:11,511 Honey, I'm so sorry. I was really, really drunk. 362 00:16:11,545 --> 00:16:13,611 An apology followed by an excuse is bullshit. 363 00:16:13,645 --> 00:16:15,645 I'm not excusing, I'm giving context, you know. 364 00:16:15,678 --> 00:16:17,545 Well, you know, maybe I'll get really, really drunk tonight... 365 00:16:17,578 --> 00:16:20,311 and find myself three hot, young Englishmen. 366 00:16:20,345 --> 00:16:21,978 Honey, the children might hear you. 367 00:16:22,011 --> 00:16:22,978 Fuck the children! 368 00:16:23,011 --> 00:16:23,978 Oh! 369 00:16:24,011 --> 00:16:26,211 Excuse me. No, excuse me. 370 00:16:29,445 --> 00:16:31,278 Are you okay? 371 00:16:31,311 --> 00:16:33,245 No. 372 00:16:33,278 --> 00:16:34,445 The, um... 373 00:16:34,478 --> 00:16:36,611 the, er, prince is, is leaving. 374 00:16:36,645 --> 00:16:38,478 Okay. 375 00:16:40,545 --> 00:16:45,045 Woody... I do hope everything's okay. 376 00:16:45,078 --> 00:16:46,611 Yeah. Yeah, me, too. 377 00:16:46,645 --> 00:16:51,378 Asian women, they are beautiful, but they are problem. 378 00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:53,511 No, I think I might be the problem on this here. 379 00:16:53,545 --> 00:16:54,511 No, no, no, no, no. 380 00:16:54,545 --> 00:16:55,678 I can't find the kids. 381 00:16:55,711 --> 00:16:58,145 They're, they're fine, trust me. 382 00:16:58,178 --> 00:16:59,145 Trust you? 383 00:16:59,178 --> 00:17:01,178 Laura, I wonder... 384 00:17:01,211 --> 00:17:04,211 can I steal your husband away for one drink? 385 00:17:04,245 --> 00:17:07,245 Oh, you wouldn't be stealing. Take him. Keep him. 386 00:17:07,278 --> 00:17:09,245 No, no, I'm‐‐ I'm coming with you, honey. 387 00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:10,178 No, you should go with the prince. 388 00:17:10,211 --> 00:17:11,078 No, no, no, I'm coming with you. 389 00:17:11,111 --> 00:17:13,678 I don't want you. Excuse us one second. 390 00:17:13,711 --> 00:17:15,611 Take two. 391 00:17:15,645 --> 00:17:18,311 Honey, you have every right to be angry. 392 00:17:18,345 --> 00:17:24,211 I'm not angry. I am so disappointed. 393 00:17:24,245 --> 00:17:26,111 Why didn't you tell me? 394 00:17:26,145 --> 00:17:31,478 Because I was just... I, I mean, I was terrified of losing you. 395 00:17:31,511 --> 00:17:33,478 I don't know if just being with me... 396 00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:35,478 is ever gonna be enough for you. 397 00:17:35,511 --> 00:17:38,511 Honey, I promise you, this will never happen again. 398 00:17:38,545 --> 00:17:40,178 Never. 399 00:17:40,211 --> 00:17:42,511 I don't wanna compel you to do something... 400 00:17:42,545 --> 00:17:44,478 that you don't want to do. 401 00:17:46,611 --> 00:17:49,645 Why am I not enough for you? 402 00:17:49,678 --> 00:17:51,211 Oh, honey, you are, you are, honey. 403 00:17:51,245 --> 00:17:52,645 No, no, do not touch me. 404 00:17:52,678 --> 00:17:54,045 Stop apologizing. ry. I‐‐ 405 00:17:54,078 --> 00:17:55,411 Okay, okay. 406 00:17:55,445 --> 00:17:58,345 Maybe... maybe we need some time apart. 407 00:17:58,378 --> 00:17:59,278 No. Yeah. 408 00:17:59,311 --> 00:18:00,245 No, no, honey. I'm gonna get the kids... 409 00:18:00,278 --> 00:18:01,411 ...and I am gonna go. No, we don't. No, honey. 410 00:18:01,445 --> 00:18:03,645 Yes. Yes, we do. I am going. Honey. Honey, no, no, no. 411 00:18:03,678 --> 00:18:05,111 Woody! Get up. Please, honey. 412 00:18:05,145 --> 00:18:06,245 Honey, don't leave me. Get up. 413 00:18:06,278 --> 00:18:08,011 Please don't leave me. Please don't leave me, honey. 414 00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:11,711 Just listen to me. I can't be near you right now. 415 00:18:11,745 --> 00:18:17,078 I can't. I need some time to think about this. 416 00:18:17,111 --> 00:18:21,645 Okay, but I wanna come with you and we can think together. 417 00:18:21,678 --> 00:18:24,378 It's not about what you want. 418 00:18:24,411 --> 00:18:26,378 Is it? No. 419 00:18:26,411 --> 00:18:28,378 Okay, okay, okay, look, I'll go have one drink... 420 00:18:28,411 --> 00:18:32,045 with the prince and then I'll meet you back at the hotel. 421 00:18:32,078 --> 00:18:34,045 One drink? Well, that will be a first. 422 00:18:34,078 --> 00:18:36,045 No, no, that's, that's a hundred per cent guaranz. 423 00:18:36,078 --> 00:18:38,045 I'll just, let's see, it's 10:45 now. 424 00:18:38,078 --> 00:18:41,578 I'll have one drink and I'll meet you, er, at midnight. 425 00:18:41,611 --> 00:18:42,578 Okay? Midnight. 426 00:18:42,611 --> 00:18:44,578 Just get there when you get there. 427 00:18:44,611 --> 00:18:46,045 Midnight pumpkin, midnight pumpkin. 428 00:18:46,078 --> 00:18:47,545 What? Oh, just a mnemonic device. 429 00:18:47,578 --> 00:18:50,478 I just, I'm, I'm glad we're gonna talk. 430 00:18:53,278 --> 00:18:55,145 Just call the kids. 431 00:19:00,545 --> 00:19:03,445 Can you spot me a couple of LBs? 432 00:19:03,478 --> 00:19:04,978 Why do you need money? 433 00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:06,978 You're going out with the prince. 434 00:19:07,011 --> 00:19:08,111 Daddy! 435 00:19:08,145 --> 00:19:11,578 Oh, hey, kids. 436 00:19:11,611 --> 00:19:13,578 Alright, I want you to look after your mom. 437 00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:14,578 Okay? 438 00:19:14,611 --> 00:19:15,578 Can you do that? 439 00:19:15,611 --> 00:19:16,511 And I'll see you later. 440 00:19:16,545 --> 00:19:17,745 I thought you were coming home with us. 441 00:19:17,778 --> 00:19:18,978 Let's watch a movie. 442 00:19:19,011 --> 00:19:21,478 Well, no, remember you guys gotta get some rest tonight... 443 00:19:21,511 --> 00:19:24,111 because you're gonna meet Harry Potter in the morning. 444 00:19:24,145 --> 00:19:25,445 Come home with us, Daddy. 445 00:19:25,478 --> 00:19:26,711 I can't. You won't! 446 00:19:26,745 --> 00:19:28,278 I will, I'm just having one drink. 447 00:19:28,311 --> 00:19:30,278 You always say that. I don't always say that. 448 00:19:30,311 --> 00:19:32,211 Then why can't you have a drink with us? 449 00:19:32,245 --> 00:19:33,478 With you lightweights? 450 00:19:33,511 --> 00:19:35,311 I mean, they're not gonna let you in to a pub. 451 00:19:35,345 --> 00:19:37,345 They give hot toddies to toddlers here. 452 00:19:37,378 --> 00:19:39,011 We can drink orange juice. 453 00:19:39,045 --> 00:19:40,645 Well‐‐ Come on, Daddy, come on. 454 00:19:40,678 --> 00:19:41,645 Okay, okay... 455 00:19:41,678 --> 00:19:44,411 Hey, honey, I... please, please let me come home. 456 00:19:44,445 --> 00:19:46,545 You know what? Here. 457 00:19:51,445 --> 00:19:53,746 Don't spend it all on one whore. 458 00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:03,006 Hey. Honey, Deni? You have‐‐ 459 00:20:03,039 --> 00:20:05,172 Here, Daddy, take this magic feather. 460 00:20:05,206 --> 00:20:06,539 Oh, is that a magic feather? 461 00:20:06,572 --> 00:20:08,039 It came from a magic owl. 462 00:20:08,072 --> 00:20:09,239 Oh, really? 463 00:20:09,272 --> 00:20:10,339 Yes. 464 00:20:10,372 --> 00:20:12,239 With this feather you can talk directly to God... 465 00:20:12,272 --> 00:20:14,106 and He'll grant you one wish. 466 00:20:14,139 --> 00:20:16,306 Oh, can He make your mom love me again? 467 00:20:16,339 --> 00:20:18,439 You can't make everyone happy, Daddy. 468 00:20:18,472 --> 00:20:20,439 You aren't a box of puppies. 469 00:20:20,472 --> 00:20:23,472 Huh, yeah, okay. 470 00:20:23,506 --> 00:20:25,272 Well, thanks for the feather, kid. 471 00:20:25,306 --> 00:20:27,972 Don't stress or you'll lose your kid juice, Daddy. 472 00:20:28,006 --> 00:20:29,672 That is good advice. 473 00:20:29,706 --> 00:20:30,972 Very good advice. 474 00:20:31,006 --> 00:20:31,972 I love you. 475 00:20:32,006 --> 00:20:33,072 One wish, Daddy. 476 00:20:33,106 --> 00:20:34,439 Woody, are you ready? 477 00:20:34,472 --> 00:20:37,239 I love you, honey. 478 00:20:39,039 --> 00:20:42,006 Okay. Come. 479 00:20:42,039 --> 00:20:43,439 Let's go. 480 00:20:52,172 --> 00:20:55,506 Hey, hippie, gypsy mobile, Scooby Doo‐style. 481 00:20:55,539 --> 00:20:57,272 Er, I didn't think it was your best move... 482 00:20:57,306 --> 00:21:00,106 to pop into a limo full of scantily clad ladies right now. 483 00:21:00,139 --> 00:21:01,972 Right. 484 00:21:04,572 --> 00:21:06,939 Is everything okay, Mommy? 485 00:21:06,972 --> 00:21:09,106 No. 486 00:21:29,072 --> 00:21:30,139 Tight squeeze or what. 487 00:21:35,272 --> 00:21:36,939 I'm Sayed. 488 00:21:36,972 --> 00:21:38,139 Oh, hey, Woody. 489 00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:39,706 Omar. Hello. 490 00:21:39,739 --> 00:21:43,406 Love Annie Hall. You‐‐ you all right? 491 00:21:43,439 --> 00:21:46,039 Er, I'm a little glum. 492 00:21:46,072 --> 00:21:47,539 Glum? Why are you glum? 493 00:21:47,572 --> 00:21:51,439 Er, just me and the wifey have, we're just... 494 00:21:51,472 --> 00:21:53,372 we're in a little rut, you know. 495 00:21:53,406 --> 00:21:55,239 You been with her a while? 496 00:21:55,272 --> 00:21:57,506 Yeah, since '87. 497 00:21:57,539 --> 00:21:59,506 She's the best thing that ever happened to me. 498 00:21:59,539 --> 00:22:00,472 You know, I think being born... 499 00:22:00,506 --> 00:22:02,506 was the best thing to ever happen to you. 500 00:22:02,539 --> 00:22:04,506 No, honestly, I wouldn't have wanted to have been born... 501 00:22:04,539 --> 00:22:05,339 if I hadn't met her. 502 00:22:05,372 --> 00:22:08,272 I mean, she's made my life great. 503 00:22:08,306 --> 00:22:10,272 This is‐‐ this is over the magazine? 504 00:22:10,306 --> 00:22:12,206 Yeah. I wonder if anybody didn't see this? 505 00:22:12,239 --> 00:22:14,272 No, everyone saw it. 506 00:22:14,306 --> 00:22:15,372 Yeah, it's on every newsstand. 507 00:22:15,406 --> 00:22:17,272 And even the people that don't buy it, you know... 508 00:22:17,306 --> 00:22:19,272 they see the picture, the headline. 509 00:22:19,306 --> 00:22:21,272 It's a good picture, it's proper, sexy. 510 00:22:21,306 --> 00:22:23,272 Oh, thanks. Not you, the birds. 511 00:22:23,306 --> 00:22:25,239 Why do you buy that filth? 512 00:22:25,272 --> 00:22:26,672 'Cause you're on the bloody front cover. 513 00:22:26,706 --> 00:22:28,206 You're never on the front cover of anything. 514 00:22:28,239 --> 00:22:30,339 You think I wouldn't drop 40 pence for you? 515 00:22:30,372 --> 00:22:32,106 Let's go on, boys. 516 00:22:34,306 --> 00:22:35,339 What are you doing? 517 00:22:35,372 --> 00:22:37,506 It's a hippie gypsy party. 518 00:22:37,539 --> 00:22:39,106 Did you really shag three birds at once? 519 00:22:39,139 --> 00:22:40,639 Bruv, that is more fun than I ever had. 520 00:22:40,672 --> 00:22:41,706 Well of course, you just got your own two paws... 521 00:22:41,739 --> 00:22:43,572 to maul at your man clam. Oh, shut up. Shut up. 522 00:22:43,606 --> 00:22:46,706 He's got six helping hands. Alright, we'll see tonight then. 523 00:22:46,739 --> 00:22:48,472 Yeah, that's it... 524 00:22:48,506 --> 00:22:52,672 Hey, hey, shut up. Hey! Shut up! 525 00:22:52,706 --> 00:22:55,339 Can't you see what the man is going through? 526 00:22:55,372 --> 00:22:56,272 Sorry. 527 00:22:56,306 --> 00:22:58,606 You have very expressive bodyguards. 528 00:22:58,639 --> 00:23:02,472 Bodyguards? If a bullet were to come... 529 00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:04,039 they would shove me in front, you know. 530 00:23:04,072 --> 00:23:05,306 They're his sons, you daft wanker. 531 00:23:05,339 --> 00:23:07,706 Hey, hey, hey. Oh. 532 00:23:07,739 --> 00:23:11,372 Woody, I'm sorry for what you're going through. 533 00:23:11,406 --> 00:23:14,672 Yeah, man, this has rocked me to my core, I gotta say. 534 00:23:14,706 --> 00:23:17,572 You know, I used to be very religious and... 535 00:23:17,606 --> 00:23:21,606 I don't know, I guess I got kind of side‐tracked. 536 00:23:21,639 --> 00:23:24,239 But, you know, I, I feel like... 537 00:23:24,272 --> 00:23:27,206 I need to get more spiritual, you know. 538 00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:29,072 Like more meditation and yoga. 539 00:23:29,106 --> 00:23:31,939 And all, all signs are pointing the same direction. 540 00:23:31,972 --> 00:23:33,572 Soul. 541 00:23:33,606 --> 00:23:35,139 So listen to more Marvin Gaye, then. 542 00:23:35,172 --> 00:23:36,306 Ah, I see what you did there. 543 00:23:36,339 --> 00:23:38,939 You've gotta laugh to keep yourself from crying sometimes. 544 00:23:38,972 --> 00:23:41,572 Smile though your heart is breaking. 545 00:23:41,606 --> 00:23:44,206 Yeah, force a smile, pop a pill, eat a pizza. 546 00:23:44,239 --> 00:23:45,939 Anything but feel it, right? 547 00:23:45,972 --> 00:23:47,972 You need a drink? Big time. 548 00:23:48,006 --> 00:23:50,506 Well, I got just the thing for you, baby girl. 549 00:23:50,539 --> 00:23:53,072 I know exactly what you're going through. 550 00:23:53,106 --> 00:23:56,639 Their mother gives me no end of torment. 551 00:23:56,672 --> 00:23:58,372 Always moody. 552 00:23:58,406 --> 00:24:00,706 I want to blow my brains over her shoe closet. 553 00:24:00,739 --> 00:24:02,706 Yeah, all right, Pops, wouldn't that make her moodier? 554 00:24:02,739 --> 00:24:04,506 She loves her shoes. 555 00:24:04,539 --> 00:24:08,072 Fortunately, my other wives are more cheerful. 556 00:24:08,106 --> 00:24:11,339 More, er, youthful. Yeah, d'you want one? 557 00:24:11,372 --> 00:24:12,606 Sort you out nicely. Yeah? 558 00:24:12,639 --> 00:24:14,339 We got a spare one, actually. 559 00:24:14,372 --> 00:24:16,272 It's, er, Miss Skegness 1995. 560 00:24:16,306 --> 00:24:21,006 Hold on, boobs or bum? Bruv. D'you like boobs or bum? 561 00:24:21,039 --> 00:24:21,939 Skegness. 562 00:24:21,972 --> 00:24:24,006 He's got one from Uzbekistan. Pakistan. 563 00:24:24,039 --> 00:24:25,139 Kazak... all the 'stans'. 564 00:24:25,172 --> 00:24:27,272 Variety is the, the, the spice of life. 565 00:24:27,306 --> 00:24:28,272 Equal opportunities. 566 00:24:28,306 --> 00:24:30,272 Equal opportunity, yes. I like it. 567 00:24:30,306 --> 00:24:32,406 Ooh, ooh, you have reached your destination. 568 00:24:32,439 --> 00:24:33,939 Please mind the gap. 569 00:24:33,972 --> 00:24:38,906 Okay, boys, behave yourselves. 570 00:24:47,706 --> 00:24:49,672 Okay? Always, Pops. 571 00:24:49,706 --> 00:24:51,672 I hope I fall into a bowl of pussy soup tonight, boy. 572 00:24:51,706 --> 00:24:52,506 Give me a second, eh. 573 00:24:52,539 --> 00:24:55,606 Let me, er, go wave my magic wand. 574 00:24:55,639 --> 00:24:56,806 So where is your wife? 575 00:24:56,839 --> 00:25:00,472 Oh, she's, er, she's probably heading back to the hotel. 576 00:25:00,506 --> 00:25:01,272 Oh. 577 00:25:01,306 --> 00:25:03,472 Oh, she'll be fine. Yeah, yeah. 578 00:25:03,506 --> 00:25:07,372 I mean, I'm gonna meet up with her later. 579 00:25:07,406 --> 00:25:08,539 Yeah, that's later. 580 00:25:08,572 --> 00:25:11,272 For now, you come with us and have a few drinks, okay? 581 00:25:11,306 --> 00:25:13,439 Well I told her I'd have one drink. 582 00:25:13,472 --> 00:25:15,672 One drink, that's all I'm having. 583 00:25:15,706 --> 00:25:19,106 So we have a drink, dance, laugh. 584 00:25:19,139 --> 00:25:22,506 Later, you go home, everything will be okay. 585 00:25:22,539 --> 00:25:23,972 You think so? 586 00:25:24,006 --> 00:25:25,239 I know so. 587 00:25:25,272 --> 00:25:27,039 I like your confidence. 588 00:25:27,072 --> 00:25:31,372 What did you do wrong, eh? Are you a man? 589 00:25:31,406 --> 00:25:33,539 Well, yeah, I mean, yeah. 590 00:25:33,572 --> 00:25:36,272 Every man deserves at least three wives. 591 00:25:36,306 --> 00:25:39,139 Well, okay, I mean, I'll talk to the missus, but‐‐ 592 00:25:39,172 --> 00:25:40,539 Yeah, that's all good and all that but what are we gonna do... 593 00:25:40,572 --> 00:25:42,272 about this God awful line? 594 00:25:42,306 --> 00:25:44,006 I wouldn't worry about that. 595 00:25:44,039 --> 00:25:45,006 Oh, yeah, why is that? 596 00:25:45,039 --> 00:25:46,239 TV‐Q. 597 00:25:46,272 --> 00:25:47,406 TV‐Q, what's that? 598 00:25:47,439 --> 00:25:48,539 Television quotient. 599 00:25:48,572 --> 00:25:50,672 You know, it's just a read of how popular you are... 600 00:25:50,706 --> 00:25:55,306 in a given culture and luckily my, my, er, TV‐Q... 601 00:25:55,339 --> 00:25:57,206 is pretty strong in the Mother Country. 602 00:25:57,239 --> 00:25:58,672 - Yeah. Right. - Green light. Let's go. 603 00:25:58,706 --> 00:26:00,372 Oh, yeah. See? 604 00:26:01,051 --> 00:26:04,884 And it's, Hollywood is almost like royalty without borders. 605 00:26:04,917 --> 00:26:06,584 I, I hope that doesn't sound arrogant. 606 00:26:06,617 --> 00:26:07,851 Don't sound humble. 607 00:26:07,884 --> 00:26:09,051 Well... 608 00:26:09,084 --> 00:26:11,917 Hey, by the way, I was wanting to ask you, what country‐‐ 609 00:26:11,951 --> 00:26:15,151 Prince Abu Ali Adullah Bin Saltan Al Rahmani. 610 00:26:15,184 --> 00:26:16,651 That's very impressive, though. 611 00:26:16,684 --> 00:26:17,784 Wait, just tell 'em I'm with you. 612 00:26:17,817 --> 00:26:19,317 Use your TVQ. Hey. 613 00:26:19,351 --> 00:26:21,817 Spare change? 614 00:26:21,851 --> 00:26:23,984 Er, no. I don't have it. Dude, dude, er... 615 00:26:24,017 --> 00:26:25,751 What? I'm with him. 616 00:26:25,784 --> 00:26:28,717 With who? With‐‐ with him, the prince. 617 00:26:28,751 --> 00:26:30,884 Which prince? 618 00:26:30,917 --> 00:26:34,584 The one‐‐ the one who just went in. How many you got? 619 00:26:38,051 --> 00:26:39,351 Five. 620 00:26:39,384 --> 00:26:41,651 Yeah, the one who just went in, okay? 621 00:26:41,684 --> 00:26:43,151 Well, you need to get back down that road there. 622 00:26:43,184 --> 00:26:44,884 Yeah, get to the back, yeah? Dude, I just came with him... 623 00:26:44,917 --> 00:26:47,951 in that van, right there. 624 00:26:47,984 --> 00:26:50,784 The prince, the prince came in that, in that van there? 625 00:26:50,817 --> 00:26:51,917 Yeah. 626 00:26:55,184 --> 00:26:57,317 What is the prince's name? 627 00:26:57,351 --> 00:27:03,117 Er... Moham... Mustaf... Moosh... er, His, His Highness. 628 00:27:03,151 --> 00:27:05,151 Right? 629 00:27:06,684 --> 00:27:08,784 You're not getting in here. 630 00:27:09,884 --> 00:27:12,651 Can I speak plainly? 631 00:27:12,684 --> 00:27:14,617 Why are you whispering? 632 00:27:14,651 --> 00:27:16,051 Er, I‐‐ I'm an actor. 633 00:27:16,084 --> 00:27:18,684 I thought actors were handsome. I was. 634 00:27:18,717 --> 00:27:21,584 What have I seen you in? Um, 'White Men Can't Jump'. 635 00:27:21,617 --> 00:27:24,184 What, from the '70s? '90s. 636 00:27:24,217 --> 00:27:26,117 Er, 'Indecent Proposal'? 637 00:27:26,151 --> 00:27:27,951 Tear‐jerker? Yeah. You saw it? 638 00:27:27,984 --> 00:27:30,217 No, but my grandmother loved it. 639 00:27:30,251 --> 00:27:31,917 Oh, well, tell her 'hi' from me. 640 00:27:31,951 --> 00:27:33,851 She's long dead. 641 00:27:33,884 --> 00:27:35,884 Not unlike your career. 642 00:27:39,117 --> 00:27:41,651 Anything else in this century? 643 00:27:41,684 --> 00:27:44,717 Um, okay, I'm in a play on the West End. 644 00:27:44,751 --> 00:27:46,651 You‐‐ you like drama? What, pay to be depressed? 645 00:27:46,684 --> 00:27:48,184 Come on, mate, get to the back of the line. 646 00:27:48,217 --> 00:27:50,584 Oh, just go to The Edge, alright? Go away from here. 647 00:27:50,617 --> 00:27:53,017 Okay. Er... 648 00:27:53,051 --> 00:27:54,884 ♪ Making your way in the world today ♪ 649 00:27:54,917 --> 00:27:56,717 ♪ Takes everything you've got ♪ 650 00:27:56,751 --> 00:27:57,684 What is wrong with you? 651 00:27:57,717 --> 00:27:59,284 ♪ Taking a break from all your worries ♪ 652 00:27:59,317 --> 00:28:00,684 ♪ Sure would help a lot ♪ 653 00:28:00,717 --> 00:28:01,784 Oi, Sinatra. 654 00:28:01,817 --> 00:28:03,684 ♪ Isn't it nice to get away ♪ 655 00:28:03,717 --> 00:28:06,251 ♪ Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows ♪ 656 00:28:06,284 --> 00:28:07,917 Hey, hey, hey, hey, stop making noise there. 657 00:28:07,951 --> 00:28:11,151 Just go to the back of the line now, you daft twat. Rubbish. 658 00:28:11,184 --> 00:28:13,184 That's what happens when they're off the telly, isn't it? 659 00:28:13,217 --> 00:28:16,584 Yeah, no sense. Sad, knob jockey. 660 00:28:23,917 --> 00:28:26,217 Hi. Hi. 661 00:28:31,084 --> 00:28:34,151 Woody Allen? Yeah. 662 00:28:34,184 --> 00:28:37,684 Hi, I'm Zrinka. Oh, hi, nice to meet you. 663 00:28:37,717 --> 00:28:38,717 Hi, hi. 664 00:28:38,751 --> 00:28:42,084 You don't look like you're having a good time. 665 00:28:42,117 --> 00:28:45,151 Yeah, well my friends just went in without me. 666 00:28:45,184 --> 00:28:47,851 Well, some friends are not very nice. 667 00:28:47,884 --> 00:28:49,151 Do you have the time? 668 00:28:49,184 --> 00:28:51,017 Um, I think it's almost 11:00. 669 00:28:51,051 --> 00:28:52,251 Yeah. 670 00:28:52,284 --> 00:28:56,017 I mean I don't even wanna go in. I just, I gotta kill an hour. 671 00:28:56,051 --> 00:28:59,051 Whoa, kill an hour? 672 00:28:59,084 --> 00:29:01,984 Can we kill time? 673 00:29:03,617 --> 00:29:04,951 Yeah. 674 00:29:07,117 --> 00:29:09,651 Why are you holding your breath, Woody? 675 00:29:09,684 --> 00:29:12,984 Oh, yeah, I‐‐ God, I do that. I do that when I get stressed. 676 00:29:13,017 --> 00:29:14,584 I just‐‐ Well, don't. 677 00:29:14,617 --> 00:29:17,117 Yeah, right. Just‐‐ just breathe. 678 00:29:17,151 --> 00:29:19,151 All doors will open. 679 00:29:20,751 --> 00:29:22,351 Yeah. Good. 680 00:29:22,384 --> 00:29:24,851 Woody! Woody, my friend. 681 00:29:24,884 --> 00:29:26,751 Come, come, come, your prince is looking for you. 682 00:29:26,784 --> 00:29:27,917 See? Really? 683 00:29:27,951 --> 00:29:30,717 Yes, yes, come. Now fine boy, eh? 684 00:29:30,751 --> 00:29:32,917 Okay, the prince wants me, okay. 685 00:29:32,951 --> 00:29:34,917 Yes, yes, the prince that came in that crappy‐‐ 686 00:29:34,951 --> 00:29:38,217 Look at the car you came inside now, eh? Ah, funky, funky. 687 00:29:38,251 --> 00:29:39,684 Bye. All right, come on, come on. 688 00:29:39,717 --> 00:29:42,151 No, no, just, just you. Just you, just you. 689 00:29:42,184 --> 00:29:46,017 Oh, oh, okay, well, er, tell the prince that I just will... 690 00:29:46,051 --> 00:29:49,117 er, wait out here until my friend's admitted. 691 00:29:49,151 --> 00:29:51,351 Well, you just met her now. 692 00:29:51,384 --> 00:29:54,751 Yeah, but I find that friends are easily identifiable... 693 00:29:54,784 --> 00:29:56,917 as are enemies. 694 00:29:56,951 --> 00:30:01,617 See, okay, see I'm not, I don't want to hassle anybody, eh? 695 00:30:01,651 --> 00:30:03,284 Okay, okay, okay, come, come, eh, come inside, come inside. 696 00:30:03,317 --> 00:30:05,851 Yeah? Okay. We're friends now? 697 00:30:05,884 --> 00:30:08,951 Yes, now of course we are friends. This my number, eh. 698 00:30:08,984 --> 00:30:10,651 Oh, okay. Any time you want to come... 699 00:30:10,684 --> 00:30:11,684 Hmm. I'll put you on the list. 700 00:30:11,717 --> 00:30:15,751 Just call me. V‐V‐I‐P, very, very important person. 701 00:30:15,784 --> 00:30:16,917 Okay. 702 00:30:16,951 --> 00:30:17,984 Also, er, if you want to come to my mother's house... 703 00:30:18,017 --> 00:30:22,751 she makes the best authentic Nigerian lamb stew. 704 00:30:22,784 --> 00:30:25,784 Sweet meat. Okay, well, I'm a vegetarian. 705 00:30:25,817 --> 00:30:28,851 Why, man? Why? 706 00:30:30,351 --> 00:30:32,717 Wait. My card is there so just, it's there. 707 00:30:32,751 --> 00:30:35,717 Okay. I got it, so, thank you, no, no, I got your‐‐ I got‐‐ 708 00:30:35,751 --> 00:30:38,151 I'm gonna call you and then you'll have my digis. 709 00:30:38,184 --> 00:30:39,751 Yes, Woody‐Woody. Thanks, guys. 710 00:30:39,784 --> 00:30:40,917 - Yeah, yeah. - Five boy. 711 00:30:40,951 --> 00:30:42,651 Oh, that's, that's great. 712 00:30:45,151 --> 00:30:48,017 Okay. Butthole. 713 00:30:48,051 --> 00:30:50,851 Whoa... is this your best self? 714 00:30:50,884 --> 00:30:53,217 I'm not sure I own a best self. 715 00:30:53,251 --> 00:30:55,117 Well you need to love yourself... 716 00:30:55,151 --> 00:30:57,217 before you can be your best self. 717 00:30:57,251 --> 00:31:00,584 Well, that's exactly why I drink. Can I get you something? 718 00:31:00,617 --> 00:31:02,617 No, no, no, I'll get you something. 719 00:31:02,651 --> 00:31:04,317 Well, no, no, it's on me, I insist. 720 00:31:04,351 --> 00:31:07,284 Okay. Thank you. 721 00:31:07,317 --> 00:31:09,017 Do you wanna know what I want? 722 00:31:09,051 --> 00:31:11,351 I know what you need. 723 00:32:00,384 --> 00:32:03,684 Hey, TV‐Q, you made it! Oh, hey. 724 00:32:03,717 --> 00:32:04,884 I'm just messing with you, you know that, mate. 725 00:32:04,917 --> 00:32:06,117 Yeah, thanks for your help on that. 726 00:32:06,151 --> 00:32:09,617 It's all good. Wassup! 727 00:32:09,651 --> 00:32:10,817 You want a shot of Patrón? 728 00:32:10,851 --> 00:32:13,251 Come on, let's get off our tits and dance like Tina Turner. 729 00:32:13,284 --> 00:32:16,317 Okay. Right, look at me. Look at me. 730 00:32:16,351 --> 00:32:18,051 I love you, baby girl, and you love me. 731 00:32:18,084 --> 00:32:19,151 Right. 732 00:32:19,184 --> 00:32:20,251 And never would I steer you wrong. 733 00:32:20,284 --> 00:32:22,984 I love you all to the maximus. 734 00:32:23,017 --> 00:32:25,317 Oh, bring it in, come on, yes, that's it. 735 00:32:25,351 --> 00:32:27,684 Got a lot of love. 736 00:32:27,717 --> 00:32:30,117 Guys, shots all round, yeah? 737 00:32:32,984 --> 00:32:34,684 Hey, Woody, are you okay? 738 00:32:34,717 --> 00:32:37,684 Er, it's just the wifey and I are having a little issue. 739 00:32:37,717 --> 00:32:41,117 Yeah, I read the news today. Oh, boy. 740 00:32:41,151 --> 00:32:42,984 I guess these things just happen, though. 741 00:32:43,017 --> 00:32:44,717 Here. Oh, thanks, babe. 742 00:32:44,751 --> 00:32:46,984 You know, weirdly, a similar thing happened... 743 00:32:47,017 --> 00:32:48,284 to me and my boyfriend. 744 00:32:48,317 --> 00:32:50,884 Oh, really? Well, what'd you do? 745 00:32:50,917 --> 00:32:53,851 Well, I left him. Shot? 746 00:32:53,884 --> 00:32:54,884 Come. 747 00:32:56,217 --> 00:32:58,084 Thank you. 748 00:32:58,117 --> 00:33:01,284 Right, here's to friends... 749 00:33:01,317 --> 00:33:06,351 through thick and thin, Peter out or Peter in. 750 00:33:06,384 --> 00:33:10,951 Eh, eh, eh, eh, and here is to Woody, a real man. 751 00:33:10,984 --> 00:33:12,917 A real man! 752 00:33:18,217 --> 00:33:19,784 I don't like it! 753 00:33:35,884 --> 00:33:37,684 Where you going? Go to the side, mate. 754 00:33:37,717 --> 00:33:40,051 Yeah. 755 00:33:40,084 --> 00:33:42,784 That's it, reel 'em in, reel 'em in. 756 00:34:33,884 --> 00:34:36,151 Dude. 757 00:34:36,184 --> 00:34:37,851 Dude. Dude. 758 00:34:37,884 --> 00:34:40,684 Dude, what are you doing here, man? 759 00:34:40,717 --> 00:34:42,917 I just came in for a meeting, but dude... 760 00:34:42,951 --> 00:34:44,684 Ah, just who I needed to see right now. 761 00:34:44,717 --> 00:34:46,884 What happened? Oh, you see it? 762 00:34:46,917 --> 00:34:49,651 Yeah, I don't understand how it came out. 763 00:34:49,684 --> 00:34:50,451 Oh, I don't know. 764 00:34:50,484 --> 00:34:52,651 I mean these things do come out. 765 00:34:52,684 --> 00:34:55,651 I know, but didn't you talk to Marty? Everybody talks to Marty. 766 00:34:55,684 --> 00:34:57,184 Yeah, I did, I‐‐ I talked to Marty, of course. 767 00:34:57,217 --> 00:34:59,684 Right? Yeah, and he wanted 30K. 768 00:34:59,717 --> 00:35:01,017 Okay. 769 00:35:01,051 --> 00:35:02,851 I mean, that's highway robbery, dude. 770 00:35:02,884 --> 00:35:05,884 Wait a second, Woody, you didn't pay? 771 00:35:05,917 --> 00:35:07,651 No, I, I, I tried to negotiate. 772 00:35:07,684 --> 00:35:10,084 No, you can't negotiate with Marty. 773 00:35:10,117 --> 00:35:12,684 Well he, he's a lawyer, lawyers do negotiate. 774 00:35:12,717 --> 00:35:15,151 No, no, you, you wanna know who tried to negotiate? 775 00:35:15,184 --> 00:35:17,717 Peewee and Tiger... you wanna know who didn't? 776 00:35:17,751 --> 00:35:20,651 Clooney, with Lady Gaga and the midgets, the little people. 777 00:35:20,684 --> 00:35:23,017 I never heard about that. Because they didn't negotiate. 778 00:35:23,051 --> 00:35:25,651 I mean, d'you ever hear about Daniel Day Lewis? 779 00:35:25,684 --> 00:35:26,951 No. Exactly. 780 00:35:26,984 --> 00:35:29,884 And you never will, because he paid. 781 00:35:29,917 --> 00:35:32,984 Come on, how can you think you can get away without paying? 782 00:35:33,017 --> 00:35:35,051 I mean, you know from McConaughey, if something... 783 00:35:35,084 --> 00:35:36,717 terrible's coming out. What? 784 00:35:36,751 --> 00:35:38,051 You know from your buddy McConaughey... 785 00:35:38,084 --> 00:35:39,317 if something terrible's gonna come out‐‐ 786 00:35:39,351 --> 00:35:41,651 No, dude, wait, wait, I don't know about McConaughey. What? 787 00:35:41,684 --> 00:35:44,617 You don't know about that? No, no, what happened? 788 00:35:44,651 --> 00:35:46,251 I don't wanna be the one to tell you. 789 00:35:46,284 --> 00:35:47,951 Oh, dude, just, just tell me. 790 00:35:47,984 --> 00:35:50,184 They got a picture. Oh, no. 791 00:35:50,217 --> 00:35:51,284 Yeah. What? 792 00:35:51,317 --> 00:35:53,017 Fat. Fat? 793 00:35:53,051 --> 00:35:54,717 Fat. 794 00:35:54,751 --> 00:35:57,717 Dude, he, he's got the best torso in the business. 795 00:35:57,751 --> 00:35:59,951 El Gordo. Buddha. 796 00:35:59,984 --> 00:36:02,751 That's why he paid, so you never saw it. 797 00:36:02,784 --> 00:36:05,617 I'm amazed. Come on, let's get a drink. 798 00:36:05,651 --> 00:36:07,317 Dude, why didn't I pay, man? 799 00:36:07,351 --> 00:36:09,117 Can we get a drink here? 800 00:36:12,817 --> 00:36:14,217 Does Laura know? 801 00:36:14,251 --> 00:36:15,617 Er, yeah, yeah. 802 00:36:15,651 --> 00:36:17,784 You know, we're gonna talk, er, tonight. 803 00:36:17,817 --> 00:36:21,617 Oh... what are you gonna say? 804 00:36:21,651 --> 00:36:23,984 I don't know. Yeah, what am I gonna say? 805 00:36:24,017 --> 00:36:25,984 What? To people. 806 00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:27,984 I mean, it's well known I'm your best friend. 807 00:36:28,017 --> 00:36:29,984 This doesn't look good for me either. 808 00:36:30,017 --> 00:36:32,717 And I guarantee my mom's gonna grill me about this. 809 00:36:32,751 --> 00:36:35,117 I'm gonna be like "I don't know what Woody's problem is". 810 00:36:35,151 --> 00:36:37,884 It's like, I mean obviously it's not about me right now, but... 811 00:36:39,317 --> 00:36:42,184 What was Laura's reaction when you told her? 812 00:36:42,217 --> 00:36:44,017 Um... How did‐‐ 813 00:36:44,051 --> 00:36:47,684 I‐‐ I... You let it blindside her? 814 00:36:47,717 --> 00:36:50,684 Dude, you know what? I‐‐ I hate Murdoch, man, I hate tabloids. 815 00:36:50,717 --> 00:36:52,684 He's a cancer. Hey, wait a second. 816 00:36:52,717 --> 00:36:55,684 No, no, Woody, it's not Murdoch. Come on, it's you. 817 00:36:55,717 --> 00:36:58,351 I think we gotta start with accepting some responsibility. 818 00:36:58,384 --> 00:37:02,684 Yeah, I... I mean I was weak, I guess, you know, and... 819 00:37:02,717 --> 00:37:05,051 Yeah, and a little bit of a coward. 820 00:37:05,084 --> 00:37:06,051 What? 821 00:37:06,084 --> 00:37:07,351 Coward for not telling her. 822 00:37:07,384 --> 00:37:08,417 Yeah. 823 00:37:08,451 --> 00:37:10,351 Look, I don't wanna judge you for what you did. 824 00:37:10,384 --> 00:37:12,351 Clearly it was wrong, but the thing is... 825 00:37:12,384 --> 00:37:14,351 But that feels like a judgement, O. 826 00:37:14,384 --> 00:37:15,184 No, no, no, that's a fact. 827 00:37:15,217 --> 00:37:17,351 And right now we gotta face facts. 828 00:37:17,384 --> 00:37:20,084 Fact: you cheated on Laura with a bunch of hookers. 829 00:37:20,117 --> 00:37:22,784 They weren't hookers. Fact: you let it blindside her. 830 00:37:22,817 --> 00:37:23,984 Well, yeah. 831 00:37:24,017 --> 00:37:27,017 Fact: you gotta brace yourself for maybe a big element... 832 00:37:27,051 --> 00:37:30,017 of the public that's just gonna think you're a scumbag. 833 00:37:30,051 --> 00:37:32,017 Obviously not me, I'm your friend. 834 00:37:32,051 --> 00:37:34,217 I'm gonna support you, but‐‐ Thanks, buddy. 835 00:37:34,251 --> 00:37:36,851 How do you support a scumbag? That's our challenge. 836 00:37:36,884 --> 00:37:38,851 Owen Wilson. Yeah. 837 00:37:38,884 --> 00:37:40,317 Hi, I knew it was you, dude. I love you. 838 00:37:40,351 --> 00:37:41,484 I must have seen 'You, Me and Dupree and Zoolander'... 839 00:37:41,517 --> 00:37:44,117 like 50 times, like everything you do, you are the man. 840 00:37:44,151 --> 00:37:46,284 I gotta admit, my ears do prick up with a little praise... 841 00:37:46,317 --> 00:37:48,584 but I got a man overboard right now. 842 00:37:48,617 --> 00:37:51,717 So let me just shake your hand and ask you to step off. 843 00:37:51,751 --> 00:37:53,251 Thank you, 'cause we're in crisis mode. 844 00:37:53,284 --> 00:37:54,684 Yeah, sure. Thank you. 845 00:37:54,717 --> 00:37:57,017 Okay, where were we? I'm a scumbag? 846 00:37:57,051 --> 00:37:58,817 Yeah, and what are we gonna do about it? 847 00:37:58,851 --> 00:38:00,917 Because we gotta do something... 848 00:38:00,951 --> 00:38:03,651 because I can't imagine you without Laura. 849 00:38:03,684 --> 00:38:05,684 I can imag‐‐ and I'm not saying this to be mean... 850 00:38:05,717 --> 00:38:07,651 I can imagine Laura without you... 851 00:38:07,684 --> 00:38:10,651 but you without Laura does not work. 852 00:38:10,684 --> 00:38:11,617 Well, that's true, man, I mean‐‐ 853 00:38:11,651 --> 00:38:14,351 Right? I mean it's like, it's just really sad. 854 00:38:14,384 --> 00:38:16,917 Yeah, I mean it's like a, like a mangy dog... 855 00:38:16,951 --> 00:38:18,584 that no one wants to pat or... 856 00:38:18,617 --> 00:38:19,951 'Cause it smells bad and you're just like... 857 00:38:19,984 --> 00:38:21,351 "Get this dog out of here". 858 00:38:21,384 --> 00:38:23,017 Yeah, it's like blind in one eye... 859 00:38:23,051 --> 00:38:25,117 wandering down the road at night. It's just... 860 00:38:25,151 --> 00:38:27,317 And you know he's never gonna make it to daybreak... 861 00:38:27,351 --> 00:38:29,851 'cause he's gonna get run over by a cab or something. 862 00:38:29,884 --> 00:38:32,617 Dude, dude, I can't‐‐ I can't lose her, man. 863 00:38:32,651 --> 00:38:34,217 And, hey... I cannot lose her. 864 00:38:34,251 --> 00:38:36,684 Whoa, whoa, you're not, hey, we can figure this out. 865 00:38:36,717 --> 00:38:37,917 Look at me. Really? 866 00:38:37,951 --> 00:38:40,951 Yes, okay? Where there's a will there's a way, all right? 867 00:38:40,984 --> 00:38:41,984 But we gotta change your energy... 868 00:38:42,017 --> 00:38:44,584 because I feel like I'm talking to a dead man. 869 00:38:44,617 --> 00:38:46,884 It's like you got ghost eyes right now. Come on, hydrate. 870 00:38:46,917 --> 00:38:48,117 Dude, I feel... Drink this. 871 00:38:48,151 --> 00:38:49,884 Okay, okay, what is it? Just down it. 872 00:38:49,917 --> 00:38:52,351 It's a Cosmopolitan, it's a man's drink, come on. 873 00:38:52,384 --> 00:38:56,651 You gotta get like, loosen up a little bit. 874 00:38:56,684 --> 00:38:59,017 Okay, come on, roll the shoulders. Let's start moving. 875 00:38:59,051 --> 00:39:00,151 How do you‐‐ 876 00:39:00,184 --> 00:39:01,084 Get the blood flowing. Okay, yeah. 877 00:39:01,117 --> 00:39:02,051 Okay, it feels better to start moving, right? 878 00:39:02,084 --> 00:39:03,184 You're right, yeah, I haven't been exercising. 879 00:39:03,217 --> 00:39:05,351 Okay, let's figure this out. Come on, throw some punches. 880 00:39:05,384 --> 00:39:06,917 Okay. Change your energy a little bit. 881 00:39:06,951 --> 00:39:08,151 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 882 00:39:08,184 --> 00:39:10,251 Okay, now I've known you and Laura for a long time, right? 883 00:39:10,284 --> 00:39:11,484 Yeah. 884 00:39:11,517 --> 00:39:14,184 Okay, now the one beautiful thing that I've always seen... 885 00:39:14,217 --> 00:39:16,584 between the two of you is... Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 886 00:39:16,617 --> 00:39:18,017 No fighting. 887 00:39:18,051 --> 00:39:20,251 No, no, no, we're not fighting, we're... 888 00:39:20,284 --> 00:39:22,817 We're actually saving a man's life right here. 889 00:39:22,851 --> 00:39:25,217 Yeah, it's cool, it's cool. It's okay. 890 00:39:25,251 --> 00:39:29,017 Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 891 00:39:29,051 --> 00:39:30,317 Okay. 892 00:39:30,351 --> 00:39:32,017 So what, what is it I say to Laura? 893 00:39:32,051 --> 00:39:34,717 It's not what you say, I think it's what you do, but... 894 00:39:34,751 --> 00:39:37,317 get your energy up, come on. Okay, okay, I'm like... 895 00:39:37,351 --> 00:39:39,051 Come on, it's like a zombie. Right. 896 00:39:39,084 --> 00:39:42,357 Loosen up, do your Elvis. You're good at your Elvis. 897 00:39:47,451 --> 00:39:49,418 Okay. Give me a smile. 898 00:39:49,451 --> 00:39:51,418 Let me see a little twinkle. Give me a smile. 899 00:39:51,451 --> 00:39:53,418 Come on, a real one... both rows of teeth. 900 00:39:53,451 --> 00:39:55,418 There you go, keep punching, keep punching. 901 00:39:55,451 --> 00:39:57,418 Yeah, yeah. Okay, you ready? 902 00:39:57,451 --> 00:39:58,418 Yeah, I'm ready, man. 903 00:39:58,451 --> 00:40:00,418 Okay, I'm gonna sprinkle you with some gold dust. 904 00:40:00,451 --> 00:40:02,418 Oh, that's what I want. I'm gonna lay it on you. 905 00:40:02,451 --> 00:40:04,318 Come on, buddy, what do I do? 906 00:40:04,351 --> 00:40:05,284 Pray. 907 00:40:05,318 --> 00:40:08,318 Oh, dude, pray? Dude, are you kidding me? 908 00:40:08,351 --> 00:40:10,318 Jesus, I mean, that's just begging in disguise. 909 00:40:10,351 --> 00:40:12,318 What, have you been tap dancing this whole time? 910 00:40:12,351 --> 00:40:13,418 No, no, no‐‐ that, that's step one. 911 00:40:13,451 --> 00:40:15,184 You didn't let me get to step two. 912 00:40:15,218 --> 00:40:19,718 Obviously, prayer without action is meaningless. Okay? 913 00:40:19,751 --> 00:40:21,851 Now's the action part. Okay. 914 00:40:21,884 --> 00:40:24,251 Sometimes we gotta admit we need something, we gotta be able... 915 00:40:24,284 --> 00:40:27,018 to lean on something stronger than us, right? 916 00:40:27,051 --> 00:40:28,284 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. 917 00:40:28,318 --> 00:40:32,018 So maybe you're not the best person to carry this message... 918 00:40:32,051 --> 00:40:33,818 of contrition to Laura. 919 00:40:33,851 --> 00:40:35,184 Okay, right, right. Okay, so... 920 00:40:35,218 --> 00:40:36,751 You see where I'm going? Where are you from? 921 00:40:36,784 --> 00:40:37,884 Er, Texas. 922 00:40:37,918 --> 00:40:39,818 Where am I from? Texas. 923 00:40:39,851 --> 00:40:41,818 And who's the Texas Dalai Lama. 924 00:40:41,851 --> 00:40:43,751 Eli Cash? Come on, you know this. 925 00:40:43,784 --> 00:40:45,284 Hi. Hi. 926 00:40:45,318 --> 00:40:46,784 Yeah, hi. 927 00:40:48,818 --> 00:40:50,218 This is Owen. No, no, she's talking... 928 00:40:50,251 --> 00:40:52,118 about my character... She's, she's saying Eli. 929 00:40:52,151 --> 00:40:53,351 from 'The Royal Tenenbaums'. 930 00:40:53,384 --> 00:40:55,051 I love that scene. 931 00:40:55,084 --> 00:40:56,918 Which scene? Well, every scene... 932 00:40:56,951 --> 00:40:59,984 but what is the book that your‐‐ your character writes about? 933 00:41:00,018 --> 00:41:01,118 Is it Geronimo? 934 00:41:01,151 --> 00:41:02,218 Hey, guys. No, no, Custer. 935 00:41:02,251 --> 00:41:03,418 Old Custer, remember? 936 00:41:03,451 --> 00:41:04,551 Of course, 'cause... 937 00:41:04,584 --> 00:41:07,084 everybody knows that Custer died at Little Big Horn. 938 00:41:07,118 --> 00:41:10,384 What this book presupposes is "Maybe he didn't!". 939 00:41:10,418 --> 00:41:13,284 I love that, honestly, it's... That's a good scene, yeah. 940 00:41:13,318 --> 00:41:15,218 one of my favorite moments, in one of my favorite films ever. 941 00:41:15,251 --> 00:41:16,218 Yeah, thank you. 942 00:41:16,251 --> 00:41:18,318 But I also love 'Did You Just Call Me Coltrane?'. 943 00:41:18,351 --> 00:41:20,251 Uh, no, but if I did, you... 944 00:41:20,284 --> 00:41:21,651 O... ..couldn't do anything about it. 945 00:41:21,684 --> 00:41:23,118 You don't think so? O, Owen. 946 00:41:23,151 --> 00:41:25,251 Oh, no, I don't. Oh, you wanna talk some jive? 947 00:41:25,284 --> 00:41:26,884 Oh, I'll talk some jive like you've never... 948 00:41:26,918 --> 00:41:28,784 Owen, Owen, can we get back to me for a second, dude?! 949 00:41:28,818 --> 00:41:31,818 Sit down! I said sit down! Hey, whoa. 950 00:41:31,851 --> 00:41:34,318 It's always me, me, me with this guy. 951 00:41:34,351 --> 00:41:36,751 Early onset narcissism. Really? 952 00:41:36,784 --> 00:41:37,951 No, dude, it's not that. 953 00:41:37,984 --> 00:41:40,684 It's just that I don't have time to attend a Wes Anderson... 954 00:41:40,718 --> 00:41:43,218 film festival while my life is imploding. 955 00:41:43,251 --> 00:41:45,351 Okay, but there's a polite way to say that. 956 00:41:45,384 --> 00:41:47,851 Yeah, there's also a polite, less vain way to say... 957 00:41:47,884 --> 00:41:49,784 thank you when someone compliments your film... 958 00:41:49,818 --> 00:41:51,951 as opposed to acting every scene out for 'em... 959 00:41:51,984 --> 00:41:53,218 like Norma frickin' Desmond. 960 00:41:53,251 --> 00:41:55,284 Okay, take the bass out of your voice when you're talking to me. 961 00:41:55,318 --> 00:41:56,951 No, no, no, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have bothered you. 962 00:41:56,984 --> 00:41:58,184 Listen, I know you're going through a divorce. 963 00:41:58,218 --> 00:41:59,684 That's heartbreaking for you. No, it's all right, it's jus‐‐ 964 00:41:59,718 --> 00:42:00,651 You gotta forgive this guy... 965 00:42:00,684 --> 00:42:02,318 Wes Anderson movies go right over his head. 966 00:42:02,351 --> 00:42:03,384 Okay. 967 00:42:03,418 --> 00:42:04,184 Let's shake it off. No, no, dude, I get 'em fine. 968 00:42:04,218 --> 00:42:06,384 The fact is, I just don't care. 969 00:42:06,418 --> 00:42:08,351 Oh, now all of a sudden you don't like Wes. 970 00:42:08,384 --> 00:42:10,051 You're like a pit bull tonight. 971 00:42:10,084 --> 00:42:11,651 No, dude, it's not that. 972 00:42:11,684 --> 00:42:14,318 It's just that he's just, he's kind of, I don't know... 973 00:42:14,351 --> 00:42:16,784 What? Precious. 974 00:42:16,818 --> 00:42:17,951 Precious? Yeah. 975 00:42:17,984 --> 00:42:19,118 No, he's not. Precious. 976 00:42:19,151 --> 00:42:22,118 His films, they're just, they're kind of precious, really. 977 00:42:22,151 --> 00:42:23,351 You know? 978 00:42:23,384 --> 00:42:25,884 When you're talking about his films, you know, I'm involved... 979 00:42:25,918 --> 00:42:28,851 in some of those, so you're kind of insulting me also. 980 00:42:28,884 --> 00:42:30,418 No, dude, it has nothing to do with you. 981 00:42:30,451 --> 00:42:31,851 Yes, it does have something‐‐ It's just the way that he... 982 00:42:31,884 --> 00:42:33,218 shoots 'em is a little, you know... 983 00:42:33,251 --> 00:42:34,818 Precious, I know, you keep saying that. 984 00:42:34,851 --> 00:42:36,151 No, it's like he's trying too hard. 985 00:42:36,184 --> 00:42:38,884 You know‐‐ it's self‐conscious, you know what I mean? 986 00:42:38,918 --> 00:42:41,351 I really don't feel like sitting here and letting you insult... 987 00:42:41,384 --> 00:42:42,518 my best friend Wes... 988 00:42:42,551 --> 00:42:45,018 especially when I'm trying to help you and trying to‐‐ 989 00:42:45,051 --> 00:42:47,184 Your best friend? Yeah, Wes, my best friend. 990 00:42:47,218 --> 00:42:48,318 I think it's kinda bad taste 'cause I'm... 991 00:42:48,351 --> 00:42:49,518 Dude, what are you talking... 992 00:42:49,551 --> 00:42:52,684 You, you've said for years and you just said a few seconds... 993 00:42:52,718 --> 00:42:54,351 ago that you're my best friend. 994 00:42:54,384 --> 00:42:56,318 Yeah, I'm your best friend. 995 00:42:56,351 --> 00:42:58,151 But just because you're the best man... 996 00:42:58,184 --> 00:43:00,018 at somebody's wedding, doesn't mean they're gonna be... 997 00:43:00,051 --> 00:43:01,318 the best man at your wedding, right? 998 00:43:01,351 --> 00:43:02,951 Dude, dude, okay, I cannot‐‐ 999 00:43:02,984 --> 00:43:05,084 I can't even process this right now. 1000 00:43:05,118 --> 00:43:07,784 But even if I could, why would you say this to me now... 1001 00:43:07,818 --> 00:43:10,784 when I'm at my lowest point and I most need uplift? 1002 00:43:10,818 --> 00:43:13,351 I'm sorry , but I am trying to give you uplift. 1003 00:43:13,384 --> 00:43:15,418 But we were talking about facing facts... 1004 00:43:15,451 --> 00:43:17,418 I mean we're not in kindergarten. 1005 00:43:17,451 --> 00:43:18,918 So what if Wes is my best friend? 1006 00:43:18,951 --> 00:43:20,384 Would you stop saying that, dude?! 1007 00:43:20,418 --> 00:43:22,384 Hey, you need to snap out of it and face reality... 1008 00:43:22,418 --> 00:43:24,751 okay, 'cause in the real world... 1009 00:43:24,784 --> 00:43:26,918 I've known Wes a decade longer than you. 1010 00:43:26,951 --> 00:43:29,318 He's a great film‐maker and he's my best friend. 1011 00:43:29,351 --> 00:43:30,518 Now can we get back to‐‐ 1012 00:43:30,551 --> 00:43:33,051 Oh, okay, real world, real world? You want real world, O? 1013 00:43:33,084 --> 00:43:34,884 Huh? That's where I try to live. 1014 00:43:34,918 --> 00:43:37,951 Okay, in the real world, your best friend, Wes... 1015 00:43:37,984 --> 00:43:39,884 is a Woody Allen wannabe... 1016 00:43:39,918 --> 00:43:42,684 and he hasn't made a good movie since 'Bottle Rocket'. 1017 00:43:42,718 --> 00:43:46,151 And, come to think of it, neither have you. 1018 00:43:46,184 --> 00:43:48,384 That's a dumb line, you know... 1019 00:43:48,418 --> 00:43:52,018 that's a really, that's a dumb thing to say. 1020 00:43:53,751 --> 00:43:54,818 Yeah. Yeah. 1021 00:43:54,851 --> 00:43:56,051 Yeah... yeah. 1022 00:43:56,084 --> 00:43:59,051 Yeah. You know what? I've never, er... hey... 1023 00:43:59,084 --> 00:44:00,918 Yeah, and you know what? And here's the thing... 1024 00:44:00,951 --> 00:44:02,651 is I got a movie star chin... 1025 00:44:02,684 --> 00:44:04,351 and you got a weak, little, chia‐seed chin. 1026 00:44:04,384 --> 00:44:07,684 You ever noticed that? Huh? 1027 00:44:07,718 --> 00:44:08,918 You know, I've never told you this... 1028 00:44:08,951 --> 00:44:12,018 but maybe now's a good time, they offered me 'Larry Flynt'. 1029 00:44:12,051 --> 00:44:16,018 What? The Ed Norton part? 1030 00:44:16,051 --> 00:44:17,784 Er, no, your part. 1031 00:44:17,818 --> 00:44:19,651 No, dude, you couldn't play that. 1032 00:44:19,684 --> 00:44:22,251 Oh, I couldn't? "Hey, look at me, I'm Larry Flynt. 1033 00:44:22,284 --> 00:44:24,918 "I'm in a wheelchair. You're out of order." 1034 00:44:24,951 --> 00:44:27,418 Hey, it's a lot more than just being in a wheelchair. 1035 00:44:27,451 --> 00:44:30,118 The fact is it's, it's, it's a love story. 1036 00:44:30,151 --> 00:44:32,751 Yeah, you know what I find helps to sell a love story... 1037 00:44:32,784 --> 00:44:34,751 is having a little sex appeal... 1038 00:44:34,784 --> 00:44:36,751 which you haven't had since the '80s. 1039 00:44:36,784 --> 00:44:38,318 I had it well into the '90s, dude. 1040 00:44:38,351 --> 00:44:41,651 Oh, yeah, you were just oozing sex appeal in 'Kingpin'. 1041 00:44:41,684 --> 00:44:44,951 You know Will Farrell stole 'Wedding Crashers'. 1042 00:44:44,984 --> 00:44:46,051 Yeah, and he stole 'Semi Pro'... 1043 00:44:46,084 --> 00:44:48,784 but no‐one saw it probably because you were in it. 1044 00:44:48,818 --> 00:44:51,318 You got out acted by a dog... 1045 00:44:51,351 --> 00:44:52,651 in 'Marley and Me'. No, I didn't. 1046 00:44:52,684 --> 00:44:55,351 Oh, Marley, Marley, Marley. 1047 00:44:55,384 --> 00:44:58,084 You're... you're a child. You're a punk. 1048 00:44:58,118 --> 00:44:59,818 You're a prick. You're a dick. 1049 00:44:59,851 --> 00:45:02,718 It's like I always say, you're the world's angriest hippy. 1050 00:45:02,751 --> 00:45:04,951 Hey, I'm not angry, asshole. 1051 00:45:10,084 --> 00:45:13,384 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Is that... he's got TV‐Q, mate. 1052 00:45:15,184 --> 00:45:17,218 What are you doing? What are you doing? 1053 00:45:17,251 --> 00:45:21,184 Go on, bruv, go on. Get him, get him. Go on. 1054 00:45:21,218 --> 00:45:24,651 Hey, hold on. This bloke, he looks familiar. 1055 00:45:24,684 --> 00:45:25,851 I was just gonna say, don't he look like that guy... 1056 00:45:25,884 --> 00:45:28,051 Er, hang on. Jennifer Lopez in the jungle with the snake. 1057 00:45:28,084 --> 00:45:29,284 What's it called? 1058 00:45:29,318 --> 00:45:30,318 'Anaconda'. 1059 00:45:30,351 --> 00:45:33,118 Yes! He's got the voice as well. I love this guy. 1060 00:45:33,151 --> 00:45:34,118 - Yeah, me too, mate. - Yeah, that's me. 1061 00:45:34,151 --> 00:45:35,984 Can we get a quick picture? Is that alright? 1062 00:45:36,018 --> 00:45:38,818 I'd like to look a little bit more presentable. 1063 00:45:38,851 --> 00:45:40,884 No, you look great. You look fine. Come on. Here we go. 1064 00:45:40,918 --> 00:45:42,784 Feeling alright? Let's do that. Alright, let's do this. 1065 00:45:42,818 --> 00:45:44,251 Alright? You ready? 1066 00:45:44,284 --> 00:45:46,418 Three... two, one. 1067 00:45:46,451 --> 00:45:48,718 Yes! Let's get him a drink. Come on. 1068 00:45:48,751 --> 00:45:50,318 What's your Facebook? Mojito, yeah? 1069 00:45:50,351 --> 00:45:52,218 With mint and cocktail sticks. 1070 00:45:57,451 --> 00:45:59,384 Cops are here! 1071 00:46:03,318 --> 00:46:05,784 Hey, hey, in a little trouble, wake up. 1072 00:46:05,818 --> 00:46:08,284 Look, Mommy, there's an airplane up in the sky. 1073 00:46:08,318 --> 00:46:10,351 Come on. Okay, er, you'll have to come with me, okay? 1074 00:46:10,384 --> 00:46:12,751 What, what‐‐ what happened? 1075 00:46:12,784 --> 00:46:15,151 You were fighting, the police are here. 1076 00:46:15,184 --> 00:46:17,384 Where, where, where's, where's Owen? 1077 00:46:17,418 --> 00:46:19,418 Just go, just go. Okay? 1078 00:46:19,451 --> 00:46:22,051 Where is he? Oh, no. 1079 00:46:22,084 --> 00:46:23,984 I, I have to, I have go back, I have to go... 1080 00:46:24,018 --> 00:46:26,118 No, no, no, no, no. No, no, cops are there. 1081 00:46:26,151 --> 00:46:29,084 Come on. Oh, no, man. Oh, no. 1082 00:46:29,118 --> 00:46:30,951 Oh god. What is it? 1083 00:46:30,984 --> 00:46:33,784 Are you okay? I just got into a fight with... 1084 00:46:33,818 --> 00:46:37,318 I, I, I just‐‐ why are you helping me? 1085 00:46:37,351 --> 00:46:39,318 Because you looked like you needed help. 1086 00:46:39,351 --> 00:46:40,818 I mean, do you always help people? 1087 00:46:40,851 --> 00:46:45,884 Ah, people, birds, dogs, yeah, that's me. 1088 00:46:50,751 --> 00:46:52,818 Okay, okay, okay, hurry up. 1089 00:46:58,418 --> 00:47:00,051 Go in there. 1090 00:47:00,084 --> 00:47:03,151 Oh my god, what is going on tonight? 1091 00:47:03,184 --> 00:47:06,418 It's just like I'm being tested or something. 1092 00:47:06,451 --> 00:47:09,351 What is going on? 1093 00:47:09,384 --> 00:47:11,951 Hey, don't cross your arms... 1094 00:47:11,984 --> 00:47:13,418 you're blocking your heart chakra. 1095 00:47:13,451 --> 00:47:16,818 Oh... yeah. 1096 00:47:16,851 --> 00:47:19,184 Can I touch you? 1097 00:47:19,218 --> 00:47:20,751 Wh, where? What? Why? Ssh. 1098 00:47:20,784 --> 00:47:23,884 Sshhh, sshhh. 1099 00:47:27,418 --> 00:47:31,218 Here you have a problem. 1100 00:47:31,251 --> 00:47:34,118 And here even bigger problem. 1101 00:47:34,151 --> 00:47:36,951 I believe you. 1102 00:47:36,984 --> 00:47:38,951 I need you to close your eyes now. 1103 00:47:38,984 --> 00:47:41,018 Why? 1104 00:47:41,051 --> 00:47:42,784 Just trust me. 1105 00:48:28,051 --> 00:48:31,084 You can open your eyes now. 1106 00:48:31,118 --> 00:48:33,651 That was beautiful. 1107 00:48:33,684 --> 00:48:35,918 I know. 1108 00:48:35,951 --> 00:48:40,951 It says how all the gypsies want jewelery and horses. 1109 00:48:40,984 --> 00:48:45,784 But how she's a gypsy and she just needs love. 1110 00:48:45,818 --> 00:48:48,084 This is how you solve your problem. 1111 00:48:48,118 --> 00:48:51,951 You need to find what you love. 1112 00:48:53,451 --> 00:48:55,018 Anyone in there? Police! 1113 00:48:55,051 --> 00:48:56,018 Oh. 1114 00:48:58,251 --> 00:49:00,684 Get up on the seat, come on. 1115 00:49:09,761 --> 00:49:11,494 Hello? 1116 00:49:15,294 --> 00:49:17,394 Hello? 1117 00:49:30,461 --> 00:49:31,294 Hello? 1118 00:49:31,328 --> 00:49:33,461 Sorry, this one's occupied. 1119 00:49:41,461 --> 00:49:43,361 Why can't I see your feet? 1120 00:49:43,394 --> 00:49:46,361 Why are you looking? 1121 00:49:46,394 --> 00:49:47,561 What are you doing? 1122 00:49:47,594 --> 00:49:51,928 I am a Moroccan, we squat on top of the toilet. 1123 00:49:51,961 --> 00:49:55,261 Okay, er, have you got someone in there with you? 1124 00:49:55,294 --> 00:49:57,661 No, I can pee on my own. 1125 00:49:59,694 --> 00:50:01,328 Hey, bugger off, weirdo! 1126 00:50:01,361 --> 00:50:03,361 Excuse me, miss. 1127 00:50:11,828 --> 00:50:14,994 He's gone. Okay, let's go. 1128 00:50:15,028 --> 00:50:17,994 Hey, promise me you'll stop resisting. 1129 00:50:18,028 --> 00:50:19,694 Oh, I'm, I'm not resisting. 1130 00:50:19,728 --> 00:50:22,828 Hey, you are holding a lot of fear, my friend. 1131 00:50:22,861 --> 00:50:24,661 Yeah, that's true. 1132 00:50:24,694 --> 00:50:27,861 Are you afraid of me? A little. 1133 00:50:29,828 --> 00:50:31,461 Just breathe. 1134 00:50:31,494 --> 00:50:32,794 This is a weird place to breathe. 1135 00:50:32,828 --> 00:50:35,461 Hey, breathe. I can't. 1136 00:50:35,494 --> 00:50:36,928 Yes, you can. I can't. 1137 00:50:36,961 --> 00:50:39,661 Yes, you can. I can't. 1138 00:50:43,328 --> 00:50:46,428 I'm going to help you now. 1139 00:50:46,461 --> 00:50:48,828 Take my breath. 1140 00:50:56,694 --> 00:50:58,461 Oh, god, I'm so sorry. 1141 00:50:58,494 --> 00:51:02,861 You threw up on me. I am so, so, so sorry. 1142 00:51:02,894 --> 00:51:07,394 Oh my god, you threw up on me! 1143 00:51:09,628 --> 00:51:11,794 Oh, please forgive me, I'm so sorry. 1144 00:51:11,828 --> 00:51:13,861 Oh my god! Can I just... 1145 00:51:13,894 --> 00:51:16,761 It barely got you. Let me see. It's not that bad. 1146 00:51:16,794 --> 00:51:21,294 Don't, just don't. No. Let me... just‐‐ 1147 00:51:21,328 --> 00:51:22,594 Oh god. Oh, please forgive me. 1148 00:51:22,628 --> 00:51:23,994 I don't know where that came from. 1149 00:51:24,028 --> 00:51:24,961 What, what are you two doing here? 1150 00:51:24,994 --> 00:51:27,561 I said... can you take that commotion outside. 1151 00:51:27,594 --> 00:51:30,494 He threw up inside my mouth. Blood of Jesus. 1152 00:51:30,528 --> 00:51:31,761 Oh god. 1153 00:51:31,794 --> 00:51:33,694 Get out, the police are looking for‐‐ 1154 00:51:38,294 --> 00:51:41,028 Are you okay? Yeah. 1155 00:51:41,061 --> 00:51:43,361 Oh, please, please forgive me. I'm so sorry. 1156 00:51:46,628 --> 00:51:48,428 Oh God, I... 1157 00:51:48,461 --> 00:51:51,528 Hey, it, it, it's all vegan and organic if that helps. 1158 00:51:51,561 --> 00:51:53,628 Are you kidding me?! 1159 00:51:53,661 --> 00:51:55,761 I, I'm just... 1160 00:51:55,794 --> 00:51:58,028 Oh my God. 1161 00:51:58,061 --> 00:52:00,628 I don't know, I just got nauseous, I... 1162 00:52:00,661 --> 00:52:03,894 God, this is the worst night of my life. 1163 00:52:03,928 --> 00:52:07,961 Oh God. I wish we could‐‐ 1164 00:52:07,994 --> 00:52:10,694 Where are the cops? 1165 00:52:10,728 --> 00:52:13,028 Thank you. 1166 00:52:13,061 --> 00:52:15,561 Okay. 1167 00:52:15,594 --> 00:52:16,861 ♪ Until the end of darkness ♪ 1168 00:52:16,894 --> 00:52:20,394 ♪ Let the subtle shades of light begin to play ♪ 1169 00:52:20,428 --> 00:52:23,494 Excuse me, excuse me, hi. Sorry to bother you, er... 1170 00:52:23,528 --> 00:52:24,761 have you got like a few quid for a sandwich? 1171 00:52:24,794 --> 00:52:26,628 No, no, I don't. Listen, I gotta go home. 1172 00:52:26,661 --> 00:52:28,261 Like three quid, two quid. I'm so sorry. 1173 00:52:28,294 --> 00:52:29,461 Anything at all. 1174 00:52:29,494 --> 00:52:30,694 No, no, I don't have anything, dude. 1175 00:52:30,728 --> 00:52:32,894 Actually, actually I don't even have money for a cab to get‐‐ 1176 00:52:32,928 --> 00:52:35,294 Hey. Can you just give me... 1177 00:52:35,328 --> 00:52:37,994 Ah, great, I thought you. Go. 1178 00:52:38,028 --> 00:52:40,294 Oh. Holy Mary, Mother of God. 1179 00:52:40,328 --> 00:52:41,894 Oh, thank you so much. 1180 00:52:41,928 --> 00:52:43,861 You are such a nice person, you really are, thank you. 1181 00:52:43,894 --> 00:52:44,961 Hold, hold on... 1182 00:52:44,994 --> 00:52:46,194 Life has been hard for you enough. 1183 00:52:46,228 --> 00:52:48,394 No, no, no, no, no, no. Hold it, hold it, that's, that's‐‐ 1184 00:52:48,428 --> 00:52:50,561 You're an angel sent from God, you really are. 1185 00:52:50,594 --> 00:52:52,894 No, no, no, no. I mean, I'm the angel, dude. 1186 00:52:52,928 --> 00:52:55,494 I gave that to her and I need it because I gotta get a cab. 1187 00:52:55,528 --> 00:52:57,261 Well, it doesn't, it doesn't look like you need it. 1188 00:52:57,294 --> 00:52:59,728 I mean, I mean, look, you're stood there like all smug... 1189 00:52:59,761 --> 00:53:01,561 and stuff and like with all your flash gear on. 1190 00:53:01,594 --> 00:53:03,561 I'm like in a wheelchair, mate. 1191 00:53:03,594 --> 00:53:05,928 Dude, I, I just, I just need enough to get home. 1192 00:53:05,961 --> 00:53:07,294 Do you, do you have like five quid or something? 1193 00:53:07,328 --> 00:53:08,461 Yeah, well I need a sandwich. 1194 00:53:08,494 --> 00:53:10,561 I haven't eaten in like three days. 1195 00:53:10,594 --> 00:53:12,761 Well, what do you need a fifty‐pound sandwich? 1196 00:53:12,794 --> 00:53:13,861 I mean, do you have any more money? 1197 00:53:13,894 --> 00:53:15,494 No. 1198 00:53:15,528 --> 00:53:17,428 Dude, please, can I... 1199 00:53:17,461 --> 00:53:19,861 I, I know you have something for me. I just need five... 1200 00:53:19,894 --> 00:53:21,461 Are you begging a beggar for money? 1201 00:53:21,494 --> 00:53:23,328 No, no, I'm just, I need to get home, okay? 1202 00:53:23,361 --> 00:53:24,494 You're getting too close. No, no, no, dude‐‐ 1203 00:53:24,528 --> 00:53:25,528 I just need to get home. Don't come any closer, please. 1204 00:53:25,561 --> 00:53:27,628 Don't scare him! Look, just stand back, will you! 1205 00:53:27,661 --> 00:53:28,561 Okay. 1206 00:53:28,594 --> 00:53:30,261 How many times do I have to bloody tell you! 1207 00:53:30,294 --> 00:53:31,461 Okay, calm down, man. I'm so sorry, miss. 1208 00:53:31,494 --> 00:53:32,594 It's absolutely nothing to do... No, it's okay, it's not you. 1209 00:53:32,628 --> 00:53:34,661 with you, it really hasn't. But you're a dick, mate. 1210 00:53:34,694 --> 00:53:35,628 Dude... 1211 00:53:35,661 --> 00:53:37,961 I've told you once before, now bugger off! 1212 00:53:37,994 --> 00:53:39,828 Give me that! Get... 1213 00:53:39,861 --> 00:53:43,294 Give me that. No, no! No, stop! Stop! 1214 00:53:44,628 --> 00:53:47,494 Oh lovely, lovely, Woody. Lovely. 1215 00:53:47,528 --> 00:53:48,494 Stop it! 1216 00:53:48,528 --> 00:53:50,494 Get angry, that's it, lovely, mate. Lovely. 1217 00:53:50,528 --> 00:53:53,394 My camera! He's broken my camera! Lovely. 1218 00:53:53,428 --> 00:53:55,994 Stop it! 1219 00:53:58,328 --> 00:54:01,561 Woody Allen, this is not your best self! 1220 00:54:12,028 --> 00:54:13,994 Sloane Hotel, please. 1221 00:54:18,494 --> 00:54:20,728 Everything alright there, mate? 1222 00:54:20,761 --> 00:54:23,028 Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fine. It's fine. 1223 00:54:23,061 --> 00:54:24,794 Do you know what time it is? 1224 00:54:24,828 --> 00:54:27,394 Er, 11:30. What's going on back there? 1225 00:54:27,428 --> 00:54:29,461 Er, nothing, nothing, it's all good. 1226 00:54:29,494 --> 00:54:30,694 Yeah, well it looks like a lot of something... 1227 00:54:30,728 --> 00:54:31,894 to be nothing, eh, mate? 1228 00:54:31,928 --> 00:54:33,961 No, no, dude, dude... 1229 00:54:33,994 --> 00:54:35,661 Er, are you bleeding? What? 1230 00:54:35,694 --> 00:54:37,694 Are you bleeding? Are you bleeding, mate? 1231 00:54:37,728 --> 00:54:38,628 You're bleeding! 1232 00:54:38,661 --> 00:54:40,828 No, no, no, I'm not bleeding. I'm fine. 1233 00:54:40,861 --> 00:54:43,828 Yes, you are. You're like a bloody geyser, mate. 1234 00:54:43,861 --> 00:54:44,828 No, I'm fine, mate. 1235 00:54:44,861 --> 00:54:46,694 Ah, are you being real with me? 1236 00:54:46,728 --> 00:54:48,794 I'm not being anything with you, dude. 1237 00:54:48,828 --> 00:54:51,728 Just‐‐ I'm just... everything's fine. 1238 00:54:51,761 --> 00:54:54,828 Don't you get anything‐‐ don't you get anything on my seats. 1239 00:54:54,861 --> 00:54:56,828 Dude, d'you have any, do you have a Kleenex? 1240 00:54:56,861 --> 00:54:58,828 Don't you get anything on my damn seats! 1241 00:54:58,861 --> 00:55:00,828 Dude, I won't get any blood on your filthy seats. 1242 00:55:00,861 --> 00:55:02,828 If you give me a Kleenex, I'll get it... 1243 00:55:02,861 --> 00:55:04,994 Or, or you will be paying for the cleaning of this cab. 1244 00:55:05,028 --> 00:55:07,994 Dude, I'm not gonna have to pay for anything. Okay? 1245 00:55:08,028 --> 00:55:09,994 Oh, oh yes you will, mate. You'll be paying. 1246 00:55:10,028 --> 00:55:12,661 If there is the slightest drop of blood... 1247 00:55:12,694 --> 00:55:14,561 anywhere in this cab, you will be paying. 1248 00:55:14,594 --> 00:55:17,561 Okay. Shouldn't you just be focused on your driving? 1249 00:55:17,594 --> 00:55:21,794 Oh, no, you will be charged a full valet. Right? 1250 00:55:21,828 --> 00:55:23,794 You will be steam‐cleaning the bleedin' engine... 1251 00:55:23,828 --> 00:55:25,728 after this ride, my friend. 1252 00:55:25,761 --> 00:55:28,728 Okay, okay, mate. Okay, great. 1253 00:55:28,761 --> 00:55:30,728 Just, just focus on your driving, alright? 1254 00:55:30,761 --> 00:55:33,794 Just take that and stop the blood, mate. 1255 00:55:33,828 --> 00:55:36,261 Thanks, mate, that's all I ever asked you for. 1256 00:55:36,294 --> 00:55:38,528 Alright, just, just stop the damn blood, will ya? 1257 00:55:41,494 --> 00:55:42,594 Is this used? 1258 00:55:42,628 --> 00:55:44,828 Well, I got sinuses, ain't I? 1259 00:55:44,861 --> 00:55:46,928 I'm not pulling out brand new ones just for you. 1260 00:55:46,961 --> 00:55:49,594 Dude, that is disgusting. 1261 00:55:55,728 --> 00:55:58,594 Er, er, what's going on back there? What was that noise? 1262 00:55:58,628 --> 00:56:00,761 No, no, it's nothing, it's just the ashtray. 1263 00:56:00,794 --> 00:56:01,894 What, what d'you mean just the ashtray? 1264 00:56:01,928 --> 00:56:03,261 What you done? Nothing. 1265 00:56:03,294 --> 00:56:04,561 Oh, you've, you've broken it, ain't ya? 1266 00:56:04,594 --> 00:56:06,294 No, dude, it, it was like this. 1267 00:56:06,328 --> 00:56:08,894 Oi, what the hell are you doing messing with the ashtray?! 1268 00:56:08,928 --> 00:56:11,594 Dude, I don't know, what is this, like an antique cab... 1269 00:56:11,628 --> 00:56:13,928 with, with like ornamental ashtrays or something? 1270 00:56:13,961 --> 00:56:16,961 Oh... I mean, what... what the... you know what? 1271 00:56:16,994 --> 00:56:19,928 Just stop the car. No, no. 1272 00:56:19,961 --> 00:56:21,928 Stop the car cos I'm getting out. 1273 00:56:21,961 --> 00:56:23,928 No, you're not getting out this cab. 1274 00:56:23,961 --> 00:56:24,761 Dude... 1275 00:56:24,794 --> 00:56:26,928 Not until you pay for the ashtray. 1276 00:56:26,961 --> 00:56:28,928 stop this damn car because I'm getting out now. 1277 00:56:28,961 --> 00:56:29,928 No! 1278 00:56:29,961 --> 00:56:30,728 You're not getting out the cab! 1279 00:56:30,761 --> 00:56:32,928 Not till you pay for the ashtray! 1280 00:56:32,961 --> 00:56:33,894 Dude, this is kidnapping. 1281 00:56:33,928 --> 00:56:35,928 No, you stupid bastard, destroying my cab! 1282 00:56:35,961 --> 00:56:37,528 Dude, you better stop this friggin' cab right now. 1283 00:56:37,561 --> 00:56:39,394 No. No. No. Stop it! Stop it! 1284 00:56:39,428 --> 00:56:42,494 No. No. No. Stop this damn cab! 1285 00:56:42,528 --> 00:56:44,461 Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Everybody calm down! 1286 00:56:44,494 --> 00:56:46,261 Everybody calm down! 1287 00:56:46,294 --> 00:56:47,761 Dude, I will break this fucking thing... 1288 00:56:47,794 --> 00:56:49,761 No, don't you dare! I'm pulling over! Pulling over! 1289 00:56:49,794 --> 00:56:52,794 Get out! Out, out! 1290 00:56:58,061 --> 00:57:00,261 You silly bollocks! 1291 00:57:00,294 --> 00:57:02,961 You're the silly bollocks! Piss off! 1292 00:57:47,561 --> 00:57:49,628 Sloane Hotel, please. 1293 00:57:53,661 --> 00:57:55,928 So just, can you, can you hurry? Eh? 1294 00:57:55,961 --> 00:57:58,828 Just go a little faster. Uh? 1295 00:57:58,861 --> 00:58:01,461 Go right on, go right on. Please. 1296 00:58:01,494 --> 00:58:02,961 Go... shit. 1297 00:58:02,994 --> 00:58:05,261 Go through the lights, dude, just go through the lights. 1298 00:58:05,294 --> 00:58:06,928 What's the hurry? 1299 00:58:06,961 --> 00:58:10,594 Life is about the journey not the destination. 1300 00:58:10,628 --> 00:58:13,694 No, no, I assure you right now it is about the destination. 1301 00:58:13,728 --> 00:58:15,828 We're in the hands of the Goddess Kali. 1302 00:58:15,861 --> 00:58:18,828 She's a creator and destroyer. 1303 00:58:18,861 --> 00:58:20,661 It all depends on the mood she's in. 1304 00:58:20,694 --> 00:58:23,628 Well, I don't think she's in a very good mood tonight. 1305 00:58:26,061 --> 00:58:30,728 The stars can't shine without darkness. 1306 00:58:34,928 --> 00:58:37,461 In the spirit of full disclosure, I gotta tell you... 1307 00:58:37,494 --> 00:58:38,561 I don't have any money on me. 1308 00:58:38,594 --> 00:58:40,494 Mmm. 1309 00:58:42,961 --> 00:58:45,794 Can you speak a piece of verse for me? 1310 00:58:45,828 --> 00:58:47,994 Something uplifting. 1311 00:58:50,328 --> 00:58:52,361 I, I, I memorized this when I was seven. 1312 00:58:52,394 --> 00:58:57,294 I told the sun that I was glad, I'm sure I don't know why. 1313 00:58:57,328 --> 00:59:00,761 Somehow the pleasant way it had of shining in the sky... 1314 00:59:00,794 --> 00:59:03,794 just put a notion in my head that wouldn't it be fun... 1315 00:59:03,828 --> 00:59:08,794 if while walking on the hill, I said I'm happy to the sun. 1316 00:59:08,828 --> 00:59:13,394 That's beautiful. I feel I should be paying you. 1317 00:59:13,428 --> 00:59:16,794 No, no, no, we'll just call it even, you know, and that's fine. 1318 00:59:16,828 --> 00:59:19,828 I'll tell you what... Uh? 1319 00:59:19,861 --> 00:59:23,028 You, you, you just pull over right here, this is fine, sir. 1320 00:59:23,061 --> 00:59:26,394 Thank you so much. You're a gentleman. 1321 00:59:29,661 --> 00:59:31,694 Stop there! Stop there! Don't make me run. 1322 00:59:31,728 --> 00:59:35,528 Stop there now! Go, go, go. 1323 00:59:39,328 --> 00:59:41,594 Suspect is on the playground. 1324 00:59:47,728 --> 00:59:50,794 Spread out. He's in here somewhere. 1325 00:59:55,028 --> 00:59:59,561 Come on down. Come on down, we know you're up there. 1326 01:00:01,728 --> 01:00:04,261 How? I can see you. 1327 01:00:09,028 --> 01:00:12,861 Don't. Don't! 1328 01:00:12,894 --> 01:00:15,694 Put your hands on your head. Put your hands on your head. 1329 01:00:15,728 --> 01:00:18,028 This is over an ashtray. Put your hands on your head now! 1330 01:00:18,061 --> 01:00:21,294 I can't. If I take my hands off my knees, I'm gonna fall down. 1331 01:00:21,328 --> 01:00:22,328 You have the right to remain silent. 1332 01:00:22,361 --> 01:00:23,594 Put your hands on your head! Oi, he's a menace. 1333 01:00:23,628 --> 01:00:25,294 You don't have to say anything, but it may harm your defense... 1334 01:00:25,328 --> 01:00:27,528 He's an absolute menace! You're a menace! 1335 01:00:27,561 --> 01:00:29,661 He's a raving lunatic. Lock him up. 1336 01:00:29,694 --> 01:00:32,028 Anything you do say may be given in evidence. 1337 01:00:32,061 --> 01:00:33,894 You understand? Yeah. 1338 01:00:33,928 --> 01:00:36,294 Are you who I think you are? I hope not. 1339 01:00:36,328 --> 01:00:38,328 Were you in a fight with Owen Wilson earlier? 1340 01:00:38,361 --> 01:00:39,494 Maybe. 1341 01:00:39,528 --> 01:00:40,628 Do you know what the cops in the US would do to you... 1342 01:00:40,661 --> 01:00:41,861 for running like that? Yeah, they would have shot ya. 1343 01:00:41,894 --> 01:00:45,894 And you'd be dead by now and the world would be a better place. 1344 01:00:45,928 --> 01:00:47,361 You see what I'm dealing with, man? 1345 01:00:47,394 --> 01:00:48,628 I think I do. 1346 01:00:48,661 --> 01:00:50,294 He kidnapped me. He wouldn't stop the car. 1347 01:00:50,328 --> 01:00:52,328 You were the one running, sir. 1348 01:00:52,361 --> 01:00:56,328 He's off his conkers, mate. Hang him. Hang him! 1349 01:01:06,028 --> 01:01:08,894 You seem kinda young to be doing this. 1350 01:01:08,928 --> 01:01:10,761 You're my first arrest. 1351 01:01:10,794 --> 01:01:13,694 Really? I'm flattered. 1352 01:01:13,728 --> 01:01:16,961 I'm not sure you mean it. 1353 01:01:16,994 --> 01:01:19,461 Listen, is, is it necessary to go to the station? 1354 01:01:19,494 --> 01:01:22,628 I mean, is there any way I could just pay a fine or something? 1355 01:01:22,661 --> 01:01:25,361 Are you offering me a bribe? No. 1356 01:01:25,394 --> 01:01:27,361 Then you're going to the station. 1357 01:01:27,394 --> 01:01:33,261 Oh, that's good, you got me. You Irish? 1358 01:01:33,294 --> 01:01:35,761 Through and through. 1359 01:01:35,794 --> 01:01:38,428 Oh, you know, I spent a month in Galway one time. 1360 01:01:38,461 --> 01:01:40,461 I drank a lorry load of Guinness. 1361 01:01:40,494 --> 01:01:42,294 I love Guinness. 1362 01:01:42,328 --> 01:01:43,994 Well, my wife says I love it too much. 1363 01:01:44,028 --> 01:01:46,594 Oh, ah, married, huh? Kids? 1364 01:01:46,628 --> 01:01:48,594 Son. Seven year old. 1365 01:01:48,628 --> 01:01:51,794 Oh, must have had him in high school. 1366 01:01:51,828 --> 01:01:53,694 I did actually, yeah. 1367 01:01:53,728 --> 01:01:56,261 What, you did the right thing, got married? 1368 01:01:56,294 --> 01:01:58,428 Yeah... did the right thing, yeah. 1369 01:01:58,461 --> 01:02:00,428 Isn't that life's great mission? 1370 01:02:00,461 --> 01:02:02,428 Were you at the birth? 1371 01:02:02,461 --> 01:02:03,994 Yeah, yeah, of course. 1372 01:02:04,028 --> 01:02:07,394 Oh, man, the greatest feeling in the world. I had home births. 1373 01:02:09,028 --> 01:02:11,328 You? Er, hospital. 1374 01:02:11,361 --> 01:02:12,894 She had a difficult pregnancy. 1375 01:02:12,928 --> 01:02:14,028 Oh, the kid's okay? 1376 01:02:14,061 --> 01:02:18,894 Yeah, yeah. He's, er, er... 1377 01:02:18,928 --> 01:02:22,461 That'll be us nearly there now. Won't be long. 1378 01:02:22,494 --> 01:02:23,661 Oh, dude, I'm sorry to pry. 1379 01:02:23,694 --> 01:02:28,394 No, no, he's, er, he's just special. He's got special needs. 1380 01:02:28,428 --> 01:02:30,761 Well you must love him all the more. 1381 01:02:30,794 --> 01:02:33,928 I do. I do, he's incredible. 1382 01:02:33,961 --> 01:02:37,961 It must be tough sometimes. 1383 01:02:37,994 --> 01:02:39,728 Yeah. Yeah, it can be. 1384 01:02:39,761 --> 01:02:41,661 I mean I don't know why I worry... 1385 01:02:41,694 --> 01:02:43,561 he's as happy as can be, you know. 1386 01:02:43,594 --> 01:02:46,694 It's just he's so pure, you know... 1387 01:02:46,728 --> 01:02:50,328 and the world can be a little bit, er... um... 1388 01:02:52,661 --> 01:02:54,428 Oh, hey, um, I'm, I'm sorry, man. 1389 01:02:54,461 --> 01:02:55,561 No, it's alright, man. 1390 01:02:55,594 --> 01:02:57,928 I'm a fixer, I wanna fix everyone's problems. Stupid. 1391 01:02:57,961 --> 01:02:59,961 Well, you... my kids are six and nine. 1392 01:02:59,994 --> 01:03:02,961 We should, I mean we should get 'em together sometime. 1393 01:03:02,994 --> 01:03:04,661 Really? Yeah. 1394 01:03:04,694 --> 01:03:06,961 You, er, they could use a playmate. 1395 01:03:06,994 --> 01:03:09,994 What's your name? I'm Constable Hughes. 1396 01:03:13,694 --> 01:03:17,528 Yeah, so, er, you, you like Bono? 1397 01:03:17,561 --> 01:03:19,694 Just because I'm Irish, I'm supposed to like him? 1398 01:03:19,728 --> 01:03:21,694 No. I love him. 1399 01:03:21,728 --> 01:03:23,694 Oh, you got me again. 1400 01:03:23,728 --> 01:03:24,928 Well, I mean, what you put your energy into... 1401 01:03:24,961 --> 01:03:26,761 tells me all I need to know about you. 1402 01:03:26,794 --> 01:03:27,928 Bono could do anything he wants... 1403 01:03:27,961 --> 01:03:29,294 in a world full of suffering people. 1404 01:03:29,328 --> 01:03:31,294 He just tries to help on a massive scale. 1405 01:03:31,328 --> 01:03:33,294 I quite admire that in the man. I think he's a poet. 1406 01:03:33,328 --> 01:03:35,694 And, yeah, I'm damn proud he's Irish. 1407 01:03:35,728 --> 01:03:37,961 You wanna talk with him? 1408 01:03:37,994 --> 01:03:40,461 You what? Talk with Bono? 1409 01:03:40,494 --> 01:03:43,561 Talk with Bono now? Yeah, right now. Right now. 1410 01:03:43,594 --> 01:03:44,494 What like you could just call him? 1411 01:03:44,528 --> 01:03:47,628 Yeah. Yeah, just, er, grab my Blackberry. 1412 01:03:47,661 --> 01:03:48,628 It's right there in my pocket. 1413 01:03:48,661 --> 01:03:50,628 It's right there. Okay. 1414 01:03:50,661 --> 01:03:54,294 Yeah, just grab it and he's‐‐ he's‐‐ he's under 'B'. 1415 01:03:54,328 --> 01:03:56,694 Oh, 'B' like 'buzzing'? 1416 01:03:56,728 --> 01:03:58,494 Er, 'B' like after 'A'. 1417 01:03:58,528 --> 01:04:01,828 All right, here we go... it's a 3‐4‐3 number. 1418 01:04:01,861 --> 01:04:03,594 Yeah, yeah, Ireland. 1419 01:04:03,628 --> 01:04:07,494 All right, here we go, Bono on speaker phone. 1420 01:04:12,428 --> 01:04:13,628 ALI Hello? 1421 01:04:13,661 --> 01:04:16,294 Ali, how you doing? It's Wood. 1422 01:04:16,328 --> 01:04:17,994 Woody, great to hear from you. 1423 01:04:18,028 --> 01:04:20,361 You're not back in Dublin, are you? 1424 01:04:20,394 --> 01:04:22,428 No, no, no, I'm in London. 1425 01:04:22,461 --> 01:04:25,328 Well you certainly made a big impression on your last trip. 1426 01:04:25,361 --> 01:04:26,961 What d'you mean? 1427 01:04:26,994 --> 01:04:30,828 You told Bono smoking pot would fix his glaucoma. 1428 01:04:30,861 --> 01:04:34,461 Now the tour has been put off, the album's been put back... 1429 01:04:34,494 --> 01:04:38,894 and he tells anyone who listens the Irish invented Reggae. 1430 01:04:38,928 --> 01:04:42,828 I hope you're happy. Hold on. 1431 01:04:42,861 --> 01:04:46,328 BONO Irie man... good vibrations... 1432 01:04:46,361 --> 01:04:49,294 all across the nation. What's up with man? 1433 01:04:49,328 --> 01:04:50,528 Oh, hey, hey, buddy. 1434 01:04:50,561 --> 01:04:53,828 You know you gotta be a little bit cautious with that medicine. 1435 01:04:53,861 --> 01:04:54,994 It's very strong. 1436 01:04:55,028 --> 01:04:59,394 Um, but listen, I, I got a, a friend here, you know... 1437 01:04:59,428 --> 01:05:00,861 er, who wants to say hi, a fellow Irishman. 1438 01:05:00,894 --> 01:05:02,861 Hello, this is Paddy Hughes speaking. 1439 01:05:02,894 --> 01:05:06,294 BONO Any friend of Woody be a friend of mine. 1440 01:05:06,328 --> 01:05:07,461 He's not me friend. 1441 01:05:07,494 --> 01:05:10,794 All brethren are friends, Paddy Hughes... 1442 01:05:10,828 --> 01:05:14,261 for the kiss of the serpent is like sugar... 1443 01:05:14,294 --> 01:05:17,528 in comparison to the heart of a friendless man. 1444 01:05:17,561 --> 01:05:20,628 Yeah, okay. Er, but he's broken the law, Bono. 1445 01:05:20,661 --> 01:05:22,628 BONO Are you his cell mate? 1446 01:05:22,661 --> 01:05:25,628 More like his jailer. Listen, sir, I really respect you. 1447 01:05:25,661 --> 01:05:28,594 I've always wanted to meet you. I think you're just brilliant. 1448 01:05:28,628 --> 01:05:30,294 BONO Jah, bless you, sir. 1449 01:05:30,328 --> 01:05:31,628 I mean I loved your first album and your second album. 1450 01:05:31,661 --> 01:05:34,661 Just absolutely the best. 1451 01:05:34,694 --> 01:05:35,961 - But... - BONO But? 1452 01:05:35,994 --> 01:05:38,294 No buts. Well, I've just... 1453 01:05:38,328 --> 01:05:39,461 BONO Yeah? 1454 01:05:39,494 --> 01:05:40,461 Well, I mean after 'October'... 1455 01:05:40,494 --> 01:05:42,561 it feels like you just kinda sold out a bit. 1456 01:05:42,594 --> 01:05:43,894 BONO Sold out? No, dude. 1457 01:05:43,928 --> 01:05:45,828 Yeah, it's like you've kinda let yourself down. 1458 01:05:45,861 --> 01:05:50,361 No, er, Bono, Constable Hughes is a big fan of yours and, and‐‐ 1459 01:05:50,394 --> 01:05:52,428 I mean I quite like Larry. I mean he's the business. 1460 01:05:52,461 --> 01:05:54,794 Tune me into your thinking there, Wood. 1461 01:05:54,828 --> 01:05:56,294 No, I, I just thought that it'd be good... 1462 01:05:56,328 --> 01:05:57,894 for you guys to talk, you know. 1463 01:05:57,928 --> 01:05:59,461 I don't, I don't think Larry would let fame... 1464 01:05:59,494 --> 01:06:00,894 get to his head as such, you know. 1465 01:06:00,928 --> 01:06:04,428 BONO Rasta can't deal with Babylon right now. 1466 01:06:04,461 --> 01:06:05,761 Okay? 1467 01:06:05,794 --> 01:06:08,394 Hey, er, Bono, I think that you guys could be... 1468 01:06:08,428 --> 01:06:12,294 very, very good friends, I really do. Bono? 1469 01:06:13,528 --> 01:06:14,928 I think he's hung up. 1470 01:06:14,961 --> 01:06:16,928 Why did you tell him he sold out? 1471 01:06:16,961 --> 01:06:18,961 Well someone had to tell him. 1472 01:06:18,994 --> 01:06:22,028 Well, I mean, but what happened to all the good stuff... 1473 01:06:22,061 --> 01:06:23,794 he does for mankind? 1474 01:06:23,828 --> 01:06:24,828 And, then like you know he's a poet. 1475 01:06:24,861 --> 01:06:27,361 Well, he needed to be told. He needed to be told. 1476 01:06:27,394 --> 01:06:28,594 Well, alright, it's good that you met. 1477 01:06:28,628 --> 01:06:30,828 Listen, dude, is there anyway you could give me a break here? 1478 01:06:30,861 --> 01:06:32,694 I mean, just let me loose. You ask for this favor... 1479 01:06:32,728 --> 01:06:34,928 a little quick off the heels of making nice. Let's go, sir. 1480 01:06:36,394 --> 01:06:38,794 Okay, but... listen, my kids... 1481 01:06:38,828 --> 01:06:41,394 they're going to Leavesden Studios in the morning... 1482 01:06:41,428 --> 01:06:43,528 because they're going to the Ha‐Harry Potter set. 1483 01:06:43,561 --> 01:06:46,428 And it's the last day of filming and we have to be there by 7:30. 1484 01:06:46,461 --> 01:06:47,528 Yeah, let's get you in there. 1485 01:06:47,561 --> 01:06:48,828 Oh, okay but I mean... 1486 01:06:48,861 --> 01:06:49,994 Can I call my wife? 1487 01:06:50,028 --> 01:06:52,928 I, I gotta, I told her I'd be home by midnight and... 1488 01:06:52,961 --> 01:06:54,628 er, what, what time can I be released? 1489 01:06:54,661 --> 01:06:55,928 Well, that depends. On what? 1490 01:06:55,961 --> 01:06:57,428 On whether you need to see the magistrate. 1491 01:06:57,461 --> 01:06:59,361 When's the magistrate? Let's go. 1492 01:06:59,394 --> 01:07:00,794 You like Paul McCartney? 1493 01:07:00,828 --> 01:07:02,294 Let's go. 1494 01:07:05,694 --> 01:07:07,728 Stand behind the yellow line. 1495 01:07:10,961 --> 01:07:12,494 Did I tell you to uncuff him? 1496 01:07:12,528 --> 01:07:13,694 Sorry. 1497 01:07:14,894 --> 01:07:15,994 Uncuff him. Yeah. 1498 01:07:16,028 --> 01:07:19,361 So, you're the one. 1499 01:07:19,394 --> 01:07:22,361 Well, yeah, I'm the one who assaulted an ashtray. 1500 01:07:22,394 --> 01:07:23,628 You drunk? 1501 01:07:23,661 --> 01:07:24,794 I wish. 1502 01:07:24,828 --> 01:07:27,728 Empty your pockets. 1503 01:07:27,761 --> 01:07:29,694 Well you're, you're not gonna strip search me and make me... 1504 01:07:29,728 --> 01:07:31,928 spread my cheeks and all that, are you? 1505 01:07:32,686 --> 01:07:35,219 Do you expect special treatment? No. 1506 01:07:35,253 --> 01:07:37,653 Then, no. You guys are funny. 1507 01:07:37,686 --> 01:07:42,153 Er... hey... there you go. 1508 01:07:42,186 --> 01:07:45,186 One Blackberry. 1509 01:07:48,586 --> 01:07:53,986 One room key, to the Sloane Hotel. 1510 01:07:54,019 --> 01:07:56,053 Dude, you don't have to let every criminal in here... 1511 01:07:56,086 --> 01:07:57,286 know where I live. 1512 01:07:57,319 --> 01:08:00,653 Oh, they know where you live, with them. 1513 01:08:03,153 --> 01:08:06,086 Er... One pen. 1514 01:08:08,319 --> 01:08:11,053 One Chelsea lighter. 1515 01:08:11,086 --> 01:08:13,386 You, you don't like those overpaid poofters, do you? 1516 01:08:13,419 --> 01:08:16,053 No, I mean, someone just gave‐‐ who do you like? 1517 01:08:16,086 --> 01:08:17,553 Charlton Athletic. 1518 01:08:17,586 --> 01:08:20,653 Charlton? Oh, there's, there's a great group, gang, squad, um... 1519 01:08:20,686 --> 01:08:22,653 they're, they're, they're just, er, they're strong. 1520 01:08:22,686 --> 01:08:24,753 And bottom of the league. 1521 01:08:24,786 --> 01:08:30,719 Bottom? Well, nowhere to go but up. That's good news. 1522 01:08:30,753 --> 01:08:33,419 One comb. What's that for? 1523 01:08:33,453 --> 01:08:36,219 To comb with. 1524 01:08:36,253 --> 01:08:39,453 What do you comb? Lice out your pubes? 1525 01:08:39,486 --> 01:08:42,319 What, what, er... 1526 01:08:42,353 --> 01:08:44,419 Do you know what time it is? It's 11:45. 1527 01:08:44,453 --> 01:08:46,519 My tea‐time. Can I make a phone call? 1528 01:08:46,553 --> 01:08:47,753 No. Yeah. 1529 01:08:47,786 --> 01:08:50,686 When's the magistrate come? 9:00 AM. 1530 01:08:50,719 --> 01:08:52,653 Dude, 9:00 AM? That's way too late. 1531 01:08:52,686 --> 01:08:55,619 I'm going to Leavesden Studios. I have to be there 7:30 sharp. 1532 01:08:55,653 --> 01:08:57,986 My kids are gonna meet Harry Potter. 1533 01:08:58,019 --> 01:09:02,119 Ooh, lah‐ti‐dah. Life of a Hollywood star, eh. 1534 01:09:02,153 --> 01:09:03,686 You just seem predisposed to dislike me. 1535 01:09:03,719 --> 01:09:06,186 That was my brother. Your brother? 1536 01:09:06,219 --> 01:09:08,186 In the cab. In the cab? 1537 01:09:08,219 --> 01:09:09,186 Brother‐in‐law. 1538 01:09:09,219 --> 01:09:11,186 Your brother‐in‐law was the guy... 1539 01:09:11,219 --> 01:09:14,219 So when he was calling someone on the phone, that was... 1540 01:09:14,253 --> 01:09:15,453 Moi. 1541 01:09:15,486 --> 01:09:16,953 Parlez vous francais? No. 1542 01:09:21,686 --> 01:09:24,086 Listen, if I'd have met your brother‐in‐law under different.. 1543 01:09:24,119 --> 01:09:26,753 circumstances, we would have had a pint and a laugh, you know. 1544 01:09:26,786 --> 01:09:29,386 We just, just had some bad luck. 1545 01:09:29,419 --> 01:09:31,386 You certainly did. 1546 01:09:31,419 --> 01:09:33,286 And tonight, while you're lying in a cold cell... 1547 01:09:33,319 --> 01:09:38,019 on a metal slab where hundreds of guys have sweated, belched... 1548 01:09:38,053 --> 01:09:40,186 farted, pissed, puked, bled, wanked and defecated... 1549 01:09:40,219 --> 01:09:44,119 and you can't sleep from the stench... 1550 01:09:44,153 --> 01:09:48,286 picture me sitting with my brother‐in‐law in a warm pub... 1551 01:09:48,319 --> 01:09:50,986 with a pint and a packet of salt and vinegar crisps... 1552 01:09:51,019 --> 01:09:52,953 having a laugh, over you. 1553 01:09:55,186 --> 01:09:57,153 What's that? Ah... nothing. 1554 01:09:57,186 --> 01:09:59,453 Is that what I think it is? No, no, no, it's nothing. 1555 01:09:59,486 --> 01:10:00,553 It's just I‐‐ It's cannabis. 1556 01:10:00,586 --> 01:10:01,719 I don't even know what it is, dude. 1557 01:10:01,753 --> 01:10:03,986 We shall see. Give it to me now. I‐‐ I don't know where‐‐ 1558 01:10:04,019 --> 01:10:06,353 Give it to me now. Give it to him now! 1559 01:10:06,386 --> 01:10:10,153 You bastard... you had a cannabis cigarette... 1560 01:10:10,186 --> 01:10:12,186 and that's going in the records, search him. 1561 01:10:29,119 --> 01:10:31,519 Only this. 1562 01:10:31,553 --> 01:10:37,686 A feather. What's that for? Hmm, tickle your balls, eh? 1563 01:10:37,719 --> 01:10:41,719 Tickle, tickle, dirty, dirty little Yankee doodle dandy, eh? 1564 01:10:41,753 --> 01:10:44,653 My daughter gave that to me for luck. 1565 01:10:44,686 --> 01:10:47,453 Well, it don't seem to be working, does it, eh? 1566 01:10:47,486 --> 01:10:49,219 Step this way. 1567 01:10:52,119 --> 01:10:54,253 Hey, take it easy. 1568 01:10:54,286 --> 01:10:56,053 Hey, Woody, how you doing, man? 1569 01:10:56,086 --> 01:10:57,253 Oh, never better. 1570 01:10:57,286 --> 01:11:01,986 Ah, I saw your play. Oh, great, thanks. 1571 01:11:02,019 --> 01:11:05,353 What a load of bullshit. 1572 01:11:05,386 --> 01:11:08,753 I thought I'd ask for my money back but, er, I snuck in. 1573 01:11:08,786 --> 01:11:11,453 You ever gonna make us laugh again? 1574 01:11:11,486 --> 01:11:13,053 Well I, I doubt it, dude. 1575 01:11:13,086 --> 01:11:15,519 I feel like I'm stuck in a drama bubble. 1576 01:11:15,553 --> 01:11:17,386 What they got you for? 1577 01:11:17,419 --> 01:11:19,253 Oh, molesting an ashtray. 1578 01:11:19,286 --> 01:11:21,253 Can you mind your own business, please. 1579 01:11:21,286 --> 01:11:24,253 They'll let you go if you pay them. It's all about the money. 1580 01:11:24,286 --> 01:11:26,453 Shut it, Eugene. Euu‐jen. 1581 01:11:26,486 --> 01:11:29,119 Is that true? Step aside and wait your turn. 1582 01:11:29,153 --> 01:11:33,086 Moron. Watch the birdie. 1583 01:11:33,119 --> 01:11:35,086 Right hand first, starting with the thumb... 1584 01:11:35,119 --> 01:11:36,586 rolling from left to right. 1585 01:11:36,619 --> 01:11:39,453 Er, but, dude, can I get out if I post, post bail? 1586 01:11:39,486 --> 01:11:40,753 Yeah. No. 1587 01:11:40,786 --> 01:11:42,719 Well, if we decide you're not a flight risk. 1588 01:11:42,753 --> 01:11:44,386 Did someone ask you, Paddy? No, sir. 1589 01:11:44,419 --> 01:11:45,986 And are you doing the deciding? I am not, sir. 1590 01:11:46,019 --> 01:11:47,153 Then stay out of it. 1591 01:11:47,186 --> 01:11:49,319 But you know I'm not a flight risk, you know where I live. 1592 01:11:49,353 --> 01:11:52,386 The Sloane Hotel... bail is 1,000 pounds. 1593 01:11:52,419 --> 01:11:56,386 Dude, that ashtray was useless. It was like the cab's appendix. 1594 01:11:56,419 --> 01:11:58,286 Just pay it, man. 1595 01:11:58,319 --> 01:11:59,753 I don't have any cash, man. 1596 01:11:59,786 --> 01:12:01,753 Well, you can use a credit card, but they don't take Amex. 1597 01:12:01,786 --> 01:12:03,753 Shut up! Nazis. 1598 01:12:03,786 --> 01:12:07,086 I‐I don't have my wallet on me, because‐‐ 1599 01:12:07,119 --> 01:12:08,586 Then I guess you'll have to wait for the magistrate. 1600 01:12:08,619 --> 01:12:10,986 Whoa, pity. You travel without a wallet? 1601 01:12:11,019 --> 01:12:13,719 You're so ghetto, aren't you? So Hollywood. 1602 01:12:13,753 --> 01:12:16,019 Dude, can I please call my wife? 1603 01:12:16,053 --> 01:12:18,986 I mean, we've been, we've been having some trouble... 1604 01:12:19,019 --> 01:12:20,419 and, and I‐‐ I‐‐ I have to call her. 1605 01:12:20,453 --> 01:12:22,019 I told her I'd be there by midnight. 1606 01:12:22,053 --> 01:12:24,153 Can I please make a call? 1607 01:12:24,186 --> 01:12:27,453 After you make your statement, you can make one call. 1608 01:12:27,486 --> 01:12:29,386 Take him away. Thank you. 1609 01:12:29,419 --> 01:12:31,619 I mean, I think you're a closet people person. 1610 01:12:31,653 --> 01:12:33,086 Thank you, sir. 1611 01:12:33,119 --> 01:12:34,286 Hey, get a new agent, man. 1612 01:12:37,353 --> 01:12:39,519 Are you trying to make trouble for yourself? 1613 01:12:39,553 --> 01:12:42,519 No, no. I mean my wife is gonna liberate me. 1614 01:12:42,553 --> 01:12:43,353 Well that's up to him... 1615 01:12:43,386 --> 01:12:45,019 if he decides you're not a flight risk. 1616 01:12:45,053 --> 01:12:47,019 He decides? Yeah, he's the boss. 1617 01:12:47,053 --> 01:12:49,419 Dude, who put him in charge? 1618 01:12:49,453 --> 01:12:50,753 I don't know, but he's the boss. 1619 01:12:50,786 --> 01:12:52,519 Guy's a maniac. 1620 01:12:54,719 --> 01:12:58,286 I mean that's ridiculous. 1621 01:12:58,319 --> 01:13:01,286 How long do you think before I can wrap all this up? 1622 01:13:01,319 --> 01:13:02,386 I don't really know, sir. 1623 01:13:02,419 --> 01:13:04,286 I'm new here, too. Let's go. 1624 01:13:06,286 --> 01:13:08,519 Take a seat. 1625 01:13:13,053 --> 01:13:14,419 Oh god. 1626 01:13:29,186 --> 01:13:31,386 Detective Sergeant Dante. 1627 01:13:31,419 --> 01:13:33,153 Yeah, I‐‐ I know, I met you. 1628 01:13:33,186 --> 01:13:35,053 Remember, you hate me? 1629 01:13:35,086 --> 01:13:36,086 You met my twin brother. 1630 01:13:36,119 --> 01:13:38,719 What, are you putting me on, dude? 1631 01:13:38,753 --> 01:13:44,386 You had quite an eventful night, I understand, Mr. Harrelson. 1632 01:13:44,419 --> 01:13:46,053 No, no, hold on. 1633 01:13:46,086 --> 01:13:47,586 What, did you just change clothes and it's like... 1634 01:13:47,619 --> 01:13:51,519 an interrogation technique or something? 1635 01:13:51,553 --> 01:13:53,519 What drugs did you imbibe this evening? 1636 01:13:53,553 --> 01:13:56,519 I‐‐ I don't‐‐ I don't do drugs. 1637 01:13:56,553 --> 01:13:57,519 Ever. 1638 01:13:57,553 --> 01:13:59,153 I, I, I'm straight edge... 1639 01:13:59,186 --> 01:14:01,153 and I think it's a terrible example for children. 1640 01:14:01,186 --> 01:14:05,086 Hm, and yet you had cannabis on your person. 1641 01:14:05,119 --> 01:14:06,619 No, sir, I did not. 1642 01:14:06,653 --> 01:14:08,519 Will you submit to a blood test? 1643 01:14:11,286 --> 01:14:15,486 But I‐‐ I‐‐ 1644 01:14:15,519 --> 01:14:19,553 I don't, I don't... um, do, er, needles. 1645 01:14:19,586 --> 01:14:21,653 We use hair samples. 1646 01:14:21,686 --> 01:14:23,653 No, I can't afford to lose any more hair. 1647 01:14:23,686 --> 01:14:24,786 I'm an actor, you know. 1648 01:14:24,819 --> 01:14:31,353 Oh, yeah, I'm familiar with you phoney, Hollywood types. 1649 01:14:31,386 --> 01:14:32,519 You do drugs. 1650 01:14:32,553 --> 01:14:35,219 You participate in orgies, eh? 1651 01:14:35,253 --> 01:14:38,019 You take part in orgies? 1652 01:14:38,053 --> 01:14:39,619 Yeah, course you do. 1653 01:14:39,653 --> 01:14:43,119 And contribute to the moral decay in our society. 1654 01:14:43,153 --> 01:14:44,519 You don't get your way... 1655 01:14:44,553 --> 01:14:47,586 you stamp your feet like a little baby. 1656 01:14:47,619 --> 01:14:51,553 Destroy your hotel room, or your cab. 1657 01:14:51,586 --> 01:14:54,086 You're thinking rock star. I just make movies. 1658 01:14:54,119 --> 01:14:55,519 Yeah, bad ones. 1659 01:14:55,553 --> 01:14:58,353 'Money Train', what a joke. 1660 01:14:58,386 --> 01:15:00,586 You will not be able to leave here... 1661 01:15:00,619 --> 01:15:03,153 until you've submitted to a voluntary drug test. 1662 01:15:03,186 --> 01:15:04,419 Okay, okay. 1663 01:15:04,453 --> 01:15:08,219 First of all, that makes your blood test far from voluntary. 1664 01:15:08,253 --> 01:15:12,186 Secondly, I'm getting treated like I butt raped Tony Blair... 1665 01:15:12,219 --> 01:15:13,253 at the Queen's afternoon tea. 1666 01:15:13,286 --> 01:15:15,986 And all I did was make your brother's ashtray... 1667 01:15:16,019 --> 01:15:17,619 In‐law. In‐law, in‐law. 1668 01:15:17,653 --> 01:15:21,019 Your brother‐in‐law's useless ashtray useful... 1669 01:15:21,053 --> 01:15:24,019 and for that I'm getting abused by you and your twin brother. 1670 01:15:24,053 --> 01:15:26,619 What are you guys? Bad cop, worse cop? 1671 01:15:26,653 --> 01:15:29,386 I mean, you know, I'm an actor, okay. 1672 01:15:29,419 --> 01:15:32,019 Voice and physicalisation are my bread and butter... 1673 01:15:32,053 --> 01:15:34,019 so I hate to rain on your charade... 1674 01:15:34,053 --> 01:15:37,219 but there's no way that you guys are the same person. 1675 01:15:37,253 --> 01:15:39,419 You're different people, because you're the same person... 1676 01:15:39,453 --> 01:15:43,253 and you're both abusing me for breaking a broken ashtray. 1677 01:15:43,286 --> 01:15:45,153 And I'm gonna call my Embassy, dude. 1678 01:15:50,033 --> 01:15:52,500 D'you, d'you think, d'you think you're a tough guy? 1679 01:15:52,533 --> 01:15:53,767 No, no, no. 1680 01:15:53,800 --> 01:15:57,267 Are you the natural born killer or am I the natural born killer? 1681 01:15:57,300 --> 01:15:59,100 Which one works for you? 1682 01:15:59,133 --> 01:16:01,500 Are you the natural born killer or am I the natural born killer? 1683 01:16:01,533 --> 01:16:02,400 You, you, you‐‐ Me? 1684 01:16:02,433 --> 01:16:05,133 I'm the natural born killer! Yes, yes! 1685 01:16:06,367 --> 01:16:08,833 Thank you. That means a lot. 1686 01:16:14,533 --> 01:16:19,033 Tell me, what's the most women you've slept with in one go? 1687 01:16:19,067 --> 01:16:20,467 Dude, I'm not answering that. 1688 01:16:20,500 --> 01:16:22,233 I hate you. 1689 01:16:22,267 --> 01:16:24,233 What's it like to be with three birds at once? 1690 01:16:24,267 --> 01:16:25,367 Dude, I love my wife. 1691 01:16:25,400 --> 01:16:27,900 Of course, but what man would turn down three birds? 1692 01:16:27,933 --> 01:16:29,567 I mean I wanna meet that guy. 1693 01:16:29,600 --> 01:16:32,867 I don't wanna meet Tony Blair, Stephen Hawking, Ted Danson... 1694 01:16:32,900 --> 01:16:35,833 but the man who turns down three birds. 1695 01:16:35,867 --> 01:16:39,400 I wanna meet him, buy him a pint and ask him... 1696 01:16:39,433 --> 01:16:42,000 "What's wrong with you?" 1697 01:16:44,233 --> 01:16:45,933 Sign this. 1698 01:16:45,967 --> 01:16:48,467 What is it? Your statement. 1699 01:16:48,500 --> 01:16:52,300 Uh, responsible for all damages, injuries, physical, emotion... 1700 01:16:52,333 --> 01:16:55,467 Emotional? Dude, I'm not signing this. 1701 01:16:57,100 --> 01:16:59,500 I‐‐ I don't have a pen. 1702 01:16:59,533 --> 01:17:02,033 Just, okay. 1703 01:17:02,067 --> 01:17:03,300 Right. 1704 01:17:07,000 --> 01:17:09,967 Hmm... so easy. 1705 01:17:12,467 --> 01:17:14,833 Can I ask you a favor? 1706 01:17:14,867 --> 01:17:18,067 Now, tomorrow I'm taking my kids to Leavesden Studios... 1707 01:17:18,100 --> 01:17:20,267 to meet Harry Potter, which you're welcome to come. 1708 01:17:20,300 --> 01:17:22,267 Hmm. Yeah? 1709 01:17:22,300 --> 01:17:25,567 But I‐‐ we gotta leave here by, I don't know, 6:45, 7:00... 1710 01:17:25,600 --> 01:17:28,867 because we've gotta be there by 7:30 sharp. 1711 01:17:28,900 --> 01:17:34,167 So do you see any way, any way at all that that could happen? 1712 01:17:34,200 --> 01:17:35,500 Yeah. Yeah? 1713 01:17:35,533 --> 01:17:36,967 Sure. Really? 1714 01:17:37,000 --> 01:17:38,233 Yeah. 1715 01:17:38,267 --> 01:17:41,367 You just have to pick the lock to your jail cell, kill me... 1716 01:17:41,400 --> 01:17:43,967 and sneak past all these other coppers and out the front door. 1717 01:17:44,000 --> 01:17:50,200 I mean other than a murderous jail break, is it possible? 1718 01:17:50,233 --> 01:17:54,033 No chance. I'm the natural born killer. 1719 01:18:12,867 --> 01:18:14,867 Come on, get up. 1720 01:18:14,900 --> 01:18:17,433 What time is it? It's 11:55. 1721 01:18:17,467 --> 01:18:19,133 Time for you to make your call. 1722 01:18:19,167 --> 01:18:21,300 Oh... okay. 1723 01:18:21,333 --> 01:18:22,567 How'd it go? Not good, man. 1724 01:18:22,600 --> 01:18:24,967 I‐‐ I‐‐ I don't think he's gonna let me go. 1725 01:18:25,000 --> 01:18:28,233 Just make your call and let me deal with him. 1726 01:18:28,267 --> 01:18:29,300 Here. 1727 01:18:30,400 --> 01:18:32,500 All right. 1728 01:18:32,533 --> 01:18:34,933 Okay. 1729 01:18:34,967 --> 01:18:40,900 Well, I mean, I don't have this number memorized or anything. 1730 01:18:40,933 --> 01:18:45,900 Well, I just‐‐ do you know how to‐‐ 1731 01:18:45,933 --> 01:18:47,900 Are you sure you don't have it? 1732 01:18:47,933 --> 01:18:50,900 No, I don't have it memorized... can you just‐‐ 1733 01:18:50,933 --> 01:18:52,033 Let me see. 1734 01:18:54,100 --> 01:18:56,100 Eh... Sloane Hotel. 1735 01:18:58,533 --> 01:19:00,067 Sloane Hotel, please. 1736 01:19:01,433 --> 01:19:03,367 Here, it's ringing. 1737 01:19:05,967 --> 01:19:10,267 Yeah, er... oh, hello, hello. 1738 01:19:10,300 --> 01:19:12,567 Hi, er, this is‐‐ 1739 01:19:12,600 --> 01:19:17,200 Can you connect me with Woodrow Wilson? Yeah. 1740 01:19:17,233 --> 01:19:19,467 Thank you. 1741 01:19:19,500 --> 01:19:22,233 It's my pseudonym. 1742 01:19:24,100 --> 01:19:29,200 Yeah, hi, hi, uh, yeah... it's just ringing. 1743 01:19:30,833 --> 01:19:32,367 Hi, yeah. Hello? 1744 01:19:32,400 --> 01:19:34,367 - It's ringing. - It's quite late. 1745 01:19:34,400 --> 01:19:36,933 Just keeps ringing and ringing. 1746 01:19:36,967 --> 01:19:40,867 No answer? Hello? Hi. 1747 01:19:40,900 --> 01:19:44,133 Just ringing. Maybe she's asleep. 1748 01:19:44,167 --> 01:19:46,367 Oh my god, hello? 1749 01:19:46,400 --> 01:19:50,033 Are you on the phone? Yeah, yeah, hi. 1750 01:19:50,067 --> 01:19:52,033 Just one second, sir. Sorry, sorry. 1751 01:19:52,067 --> 01:19:55,967 It's just... yeah, can you, er, can you ring the room again? 1752 01:19:56,000 --> 01:20:00,233 Yeah, just ring it one more time. 1753 01:20:00,267 --> 01:20:04,233 It's ringing. It's quite late. 1754 01:20:04,267 --> 01:20:06,067 Ring, ring. 1755 01:20:09,467 --> 01:20:11,967 Just, I don't know why she isn't picking up, man. 1756 01:20:12,000 --> 01:20:13,467 Maybe she's sleeping. Unlucky. 1757 01:20:13,500 --> 01:20:15,067 Take him to his cell. 1758 01:20:15,100 --> 01:20:17,800 No... can you just, just one second. 1759 01:20:18,933 --> 01:20:21,433 Hello? Hang on. Yeah, hello. 1760 01:20:21,467 --> 01:20:25,433 Listen, will... ring it one more time, will you? 1761 01:20:25,467 --> 01:20:29,267 No, dude, I‐‐ I‐‐ I can't call back. 1762 01:20:29,300 --> 01:20:31,400 No, I‐‐ I can't, because this is my only call. 1763 01:20:33,267 --> 01:20:37,367 Because I'm in jail, so would you just please ring the room‐‐ 1764 01:20:37,400 --> 01:20:40,300 Hello? 1765 01:20:40,333 --> 01:20:41,400 Alas. 1766 01:20:41,433 --> 01:20:44,500 What the hell? Why are people hanging up on me today? 1767 01:20:44,533 --> 01:20:46,033 Unlucky. 1768 01:20:46,067 --> 01:20:47,567 Sir, maybe if we... 1769 01:20:47,600 --> 01:20:50,167 Can, can I just call her cell? You had your call. 1770 01:20:50,200 --> 01:20:52,400 Just let me call her cell. You had your call. 1771 01:20:52,433 --> 01:20:53,633 Well that's not fair, man. 1772 01:20:53,667 --> 01:20:56,033 Sir, if we mention that we're, we're the police, then maybe... 1773 01:20:56,067 --> 01:20:57,400 Take him, Paddy. 1774 01:20:57,433 --> 01:20:59,000 No, please, please, just let me... 1775 01:20:59,033 --> 01:21:00,567 Let's go, sir. Come on. Take him. 1776 01:21:00,600 --> 01:21:04,900 Come on, let's go, now, now. 1777 01:21:04,933 --> 01:21:06,933 Can I ask a favor, man? There's nothing I can do. 1778 01:21:06,967 --> 01:21:08,167 This is my first day. 1779 01:21:08,200 --> 01:21:09,267 Dude, do you have a pen and paper? 1780 01:21:09,300 --> 01:21:10,900 There's only so much I can help with, I'm new here. 1781 01:21:10,933 --> 01:21:12,333 Please, do you have a pen and paper? 1782 01:21:12,367 --> 01:21:14,167 Here. Okay, look. 1783 01:21:14,200 --> 01:21:18,167 I want you to just call this number, right? 1784 01:21:18,200 --> 01:21:22,500 And my wife will come and, and, and save me, okay? 1785 01:21:22,533 --> 01:21:24,267 So just please do this... 1786 01:21:24,300 --> 01:21:26,267 because my kids are gonna meet Harry Potter in the morning. 1787 01:21:26,300 --> 01:21:28,267 It's gonna be the biggest day of their lives. 1788 01:21:28,300 --> 01:21:30,367 And I beg you, please, please to do‐‐ 1789 01:21:30,400 --> 01:21:31,900 You, you, you have any kids? 1790 01:21:33,433 --> 01:21:34,867 Yeah. 1791 01:21:34,900 --> 01:21:37,833 What? What? 1792 01:21:37,867 --> 01:21:38,833 What? 1793 01:21:38,867 --> 01:21:40,067 I just told you about my son eleven minutes ago. 1794 01:21:40,100 --> 01:21:42,567 Were you listening, you fake? Feigning interest in my kid. 1795 01:21:42,600 --> 01:21:43,933 "Maybe our kids could play together." 1796 01:21:43,967 --> 01:21:45,167 Oh, no. You're a fraud. 1797 01:21:45,200 --> 01:21:46,267 Oh I am so sorry, dude, I'm so‐‐ 1798 01:21:46,300 --> 01:21:47,567 Don't try and nuzzle up to me, you two‐faced creep. 1799 01:21:47,600 --> 01:21:49,167 I don't talk about me son to anyone. 1800 01:21:49,200 --> 01:21:50,300 That's cre‐‐ you're creepy. No. 1801 01:21:50,333 --> 01:21:52,233 No, no, I'm not creepy, man‐‐ You are, you're creepy. 1802 01:21:52,267 --> 01:21:54,033 You two‐faced, stoner, Hollywood creep, let's go. 1803 01:21:54,067 --> 01:21:56,133 But, but my, my kids are not creepy. 1804 01:21:56,167 --> 01:21:58,000 They're the most uncreepy kids in the world. 1805 01:21:58,033 --> 01:21:59,433 They deserve to meet Harry Potter. 1806 01:21:59,467 --> 01:22:01,267 Yeah, well, my kid deserves to meet Harry Potter, too. 1807 01:22:01,300 --> 01:22:03,333 Well, bring him and they can meet, and all of them... 1808 01:22:03,367 --> 01:22:06,133 can meet Bumbledore and, and Harry Potter, and, and Her H... 1809 01:22:06,167 --> 01:22:08,400 Look, dude, dude, I‐‐ I‐‐ I'm sorry, okay? 1810 01:22:08,433 --> 01:22:09,533 Yeah, you look it, let's go. 1811 01:22:09,567 --> 01:22:11,900 No, I mean, I'm‐‐ I'm a lousy excuse for a human being. 1812 01:22:11,933 --> 01:22:13,133 Well, I couldn't have summed it up better myself. 1813 01:22:13,167 --> 01:22:14,933 I never graduated from adolescence. 1814 01:22:14,967 --> 01:22:17,933 I'm like perpetually, you know and I‐‐ I get high all the time. 1815 01:22:17,967 --> 01:22:19,300 And I get drunk all the time. 1816 01:22:19,333 --> 01:22:20,467 And I'm filling my senses... 1817 01:22:20,500 --> 01:22:23,033 and my heart is withering in my chest. 1818 01:22:23,067 --> 01:22:27,300 And‐‐ and my wife is the most incredible person... 1819 01:22:27,333 --> 01:22:28,533 on this earth and I‐‐ 1820 01:22:28,567 --> 01:22:31,367 Dude, she's, she's gonna leave me. 1821 01:22:31,400 --> 01:22:32,933 And when she leaves me, I'm gonna... 1822 01:22:32,967 --> 01:22:36,233 I'm gonna break up with myself, man. 1823 01:22:36,267 --> 01:22:39,033 I‐‐ I‐‐ look I was, I was manipulating you earlier. 1824 01:22:39,067 --> 01:22:40,533 I was trying to curry favor... 1825 01:22:40,567 --> 01:22:43,300 pretend that I cared about your son, hoping you'd help me. 1826 01:22:43,333 --> 01:22:45,133 But I don't blame you if you don't forgive me. 1827 01:22:45,167 --> 01:22:48,867 I mean, I've‐‐ I've actually grown unsympathetic to myself. 1828 01:22:48,900 --> 01:22:52,000 But I, I, I would love to take you and your son to meet... 1829 01:22:52,033 --> 01:22:54,233 Harry Potter tomorrow if, if‐‐ 1830 01:22:56,567 --> 01:23:00,067 You can believe that, man, even if my family can't come. 1831 01:23:00,100 --> 01:23:03,100 You'd take me and my son with you to see Harry Potter? 1832 01:23:03,133 --> 01:23:05,100 Even if your family didn't come? 1833 01:23:05,133 --> 01:23:06,400 Yeah. Yeah, I... 1834 01:23:06,433 --> 01:23:09,100 You could be manipulating me now. 1835 01:23:09,133 --> 01:23:11,100 But I'm not asking you for anything. 1836 01:23:11,133 --> 01:23:14,033 Neither am I. Come on, let's go. 1837 01:23:14,067 --> 01:23:17,900 Yeah, but... Come on, go, let's go, get in. 1838 01:23:22,100 --> 01:23:24,167 Pad, Paddy? 1839 01:23:25,867 --> 01:23:27,100 Yeah? 1840 01:23:27,133 --> 01:23:29,800 Thanks, man. For what? 1841 01:23:29,833 --> 01:23:33,433 You're a good man. Goodnight. 1842 01:23:33,467 --> 01:23:36,533 I think that's yours. Oh, thank you. 1843 01:24:00,567 --> 01:24:01,933 God. 1844 01:24:05,433 --> 01:24:07,200 Stupid! 1845 01:24:07,233 --> 01:24:10,133 Stupid, stupid, stupid... 1846 01:24:10,167 --> 01:24:16,233 stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! 1847 01:24:45,100 --> 01:24:51,933 God, it's been a while... 1848 01:24:51,967 --> 01:24:54,467 and I haven't been a very good Christian. 1849 01:24:54,500 --> 01:25:01,467 I know, I guess I got lost in the carnival and I just... 1850 01:25:01,500 --> 01:25:04,867 I don't know if you're up there, God... 1851 01:25:04,900 --> 01:25:09,033 but if you are, this is it, man. 1852 01:25:09,067 --> 01:25:14,433 I mean, my wife and my, my best friend on the same day. 1853 01:25:14,467 --> 01:25:19,967 I mean, even Job had a week to adjust, I mean, God... 1854 01:25:20,000 --> 01:25:24,967 please, please, God, don't let me lose her. 1855 01:25:25,000 --> 01:25:31,333 Please give me another chance. Please, God. Please. 1856 01:25:31,367 --> 01:25:34,233 Please, please, God. 1857 01:25:37,833 --> 01:25:39,067 Please. 1858 01:25:45,500 --> 01:25:47,867 ♪ The streets are dark and quiet in London ♪ 1859 01:25:47,900 --> 01:25:49,400 ♪ After midnight ♪ 1860 01:25:51,267 --> 01:25:52,300 ♪ Listen ♪ 1861 01:25:57,400 --> 01:26:00,000 ♪ But silence is the master of darkness ♪ 1862 01:26:00,033 --> 01:26:04,133 ♪ And London can sleep tonight protected by the master ♪ 1863 01:26:07,233 --> 01:26:11,300 ♪ London ♪ 1864 01:26:13,100 --> 01:26:15,933 ♪ London ♪ 1865 01:26:18,233 --> 01:26:24,767 ♪ You scream the largest portion of the day ♪ 1866 01:26:30,100 --> 01:26:33,167 ♪ London ♪ 1867 01:26:35,833 --> 01:26:39,867 ♪ London ♪ 1868 01:26:42,100 --> 01:26:47,400 ♪ Rest your lungs Tomorrow's on its way ♪ 1869 01:26:53,406 --> 01:26:54,973 Willie, what's going on? 1870 01:26:55,006 --> 01:26:57,873 Everything at once, man, it's freaking me out. 1871 01:26:58,940 --> 01:27:00,706 They let you in here? 1872 01:27:00,740 --> 01:27:02,906 Yeah, I'm feeling it's a lot easier to get in one of these... 1873 01:27:02,940 --> 01:27:05,106 places than it is to get out of 'em. 1874 01:27:05,140 --> 01:27:08,540 How are you doing? Terrible, man. 1875 01:27:08,573 --> 01:27:10,106 Yeah? Yeah. 1876 01:27:10,140 --> 01:27:12,973 My old lady used to say, "Don't worry about a thing... 1877 01:27:13,006 --> 01:27:16,106 "'cause there ain't nothing gonna be all right". 1878 01:27:16,140 --> 01:27:20,006 Oh, man, I just, I messed up real bad. 1879 01:27:20,040 --> 01:27:22,773 Well, you just did what other men have done. 1880 01:27:22,806 --> 01:27:23,773 I've done it myself. 1881 01:27:23,806 --> 01:27:27,506 Yeah, but you've had like 129 wives, Willie. 1882 01:27:27,540 --> 01:27:29,540 I just want one, I want Laura. 1883 01:27:29,573 --> 01:27:31,540 Well, what do you think women want? 1884 01:27:31,573 --> 01:27:35,806 Well, I don't know... love. 1885 01:27:35,840 --> 01:27:38,706 Love, honesty, respect, loyalty. 1886 01:27:38,740 --> 01:27:41,806 Oh, yeah, well I should have thought of those. 1887 01:27:41,840 --> 01:27:43,473 Those are the hard ones. 1888 01:27:43,506 --> 01:27:46,473 Yeah, well, this ain't about what you're going through. 1889 01:27:46,506 --> 01:27:48,073 This is about what Laura's going through. 1890 01:27:48,106 --> 01:27:49,173 That's what you gotta think about. 1891 01:27:49,206 --> 01:27:53,906 Grow a spine. If you're gonna be a bear, be a grizzly. 1892 01:27:53,940 --> 01:27:56,506 Oh, well that, that is good advice, Willie. 1893 01:27:56,540 --> 01:27:59,140 Excuse me, I'll be right back. 1894 01:27:59,173 --> 01:28:01,606 Uh, did you miss me? 1895 01:28:01,640 --> 01:28:05,773 Huh. You're the best, Willie. I so appreciate you. 1896 01:28:05,806 --> 01:28:08,640 Hey, I'm gonna put in a good word for you... 1897 01:28:08,673 --> 01:28:11,906 'cause you know, I always liked you just a little bit. 1898 01:28:13,673 --> 01:28:17,106 Thank you, Willie, thank you so much. 1899 01:28:17,140 --> 01:28:19,440 You're as welcome as the flowers in spring. 1900 01:28:19,473 --> 01:28:22,640 And if you ever need a friend, buy a dog. 1901 01:28:24,740 --> 01:28:27,706 You're the Texas Dalai Lama, man. 1902 01:29:23,106 --> 01:29:27,673 Wake up, buttercup. Carpe diem. 1903 01:29:29,406 --> 01:29:31,106 O? 1904 01:29:31,140 --> 01:29:33,440 It's me, buddy. 1905 01:29:33,473 --> 01:29:36,040 Oh, did you see Willie? 1906 01:29:36,073 --> 01:29:38,006 Willie's on Maui, amigo. 1907 01:29:38,040 --> 01:29:41,806 Ah, man, well I dreamed he was here. 1908 01:29:41,840 --> 01:29:44,640 Am I dreaming you're here? 1909 01:29:44,673 --> 01:29:46,640 No, I'm here, I just paid your bail. 1910 01:29:46,673 --> 01:29:48,773 Oh, thanks, buddy. 1911 01:29:48,806 --> 01:29:50,073 Don't thank me, thank Paddy. 1912 01:29:50,106 --> 01:29:53,073 Thank you so much, Paddy. No worries. 1913 01:29:53,106 --> 01:29:54,506 What time is it? 1914 01:29:54,540 --> 01:29:56,006 It's time to go meet Harry Potter. 1915 01:29:56,040 --> 01:29:58,106 Oh, yes! Yes! 1916 01:29:58,140 --> 01:30:02,506 Okay, so, er, you called Laura? Called Laura. 1917 01:30:02,540 --> 01:30:04,806 - Then Laura called you? - Yeah. 1918 01:30:04,840 --> 01:30:08,640 And, so, Laura saved me, huh? 1919 01:30:08,673 --> 01:30:12,673 Yeah. Laura saved me. 1920 01:30:12,706 --> 01:30:14,640 Sorry about that fight. 1921 01:30:14,673 --> 01:30:16,540 Oh, me, too, bro. 1922 01:30:16,573 --> 01:30:20,606 Oh, gosh, I gotta say, you are quite the scrapper. 1923 01:30:20,640 --> 01:30:25,540 Yeah, you did run into a little bit of a buzz saw tonight. 1924 01:30:25,573 --> 01:30:26,806 Yeah. 1925 01:30:26,840 --> 01:30:30,673 You're lucky‐‐ you're lucky they pulled me off you when they did. 1926 01:30:30,706 --> 01:30:31,840 Well, you know, I was just... 1927 01:30:31,873 --> 01:30:33,106 I was getting ready to crank it up. 1928 01:30:33,140 --> 01:30:36,140 pretending to lose consciousness I was about to stage a comeback. 1929 01:30:36,173 --> 01:30:39,073 I could feel that, playing possum. 1930 01:30:39,106 --> 01:30:42,906 I could also feel that Vulcan death grip that you did... 1931 01:30:42,940 --> 01:30:46,440 on my head that just left me feeling a little concussed. 1932 01:30:46,473 --> 01:30:48,406 Dude, tell me I didn't hurt your moneymaker. 1933 01:30:48,440 --> 01:30:49,673 I mean, now that's the main thing. 1934 01:30:49,706 --> 01:30:51,473 No, it's okay. 1935 01:30:51,506 --> 01:30:54,140 I mean, is that cheeky‐boy smile still there, right? 1936 01:30:54,173 --> 01:30:56,140 Please, let's never lose that. 1937 01:30:56,173 --> 01:30:57,740 Oh, my god. 1938 01:30:57,773 --> 01:30:59,506 Come and meet me son. 1939 01:30:59,540 --> 01:31:01,606 Let's go. Yeah, okay. 1940 01:31:01,640 --> 01:31:05,106 You know, you did actually a pretty good, um, 'Larry Flynt'. 1941 01:31:05,140 --> 01:31:07,506 Oh... come on. 1942 01:31:07,540 --> 01:31:09,540 Now your free. 1943 01:31:09,573 --> 01:31:12,740 Free at last! Free at last! 1944 01:31:21,406 --> 01:31:22,806 Where's Laura and the kids? 1945 01:31:24,140 --> 01:31:26,640 They're not here. 1946 01:31:26,673 --> 01:31:29,806 What do you mean? I thought they were gonna be here. 1947 01:31:29,840 --> 01:31:31,373 I don't know. 1948 01:31:31,406 --> 01:31:34,873 Hold it, but you talked to her on the phone, right? 1949 01:31:34,906 --> 01:31:37,473 She called me and asked me to call Paddy... 1950 01:31:37,506 --> 01:31:38,740 and come bail you out. 1951 01:31:38,773 --> 01:31:44,006 But, well, so... you don't know where she is? 1952 01:31:46,440 --> 01:31:48,440 No idea. 1953 01:31:50,806 --> 01:31:52,873 Sorry. 1954 01:32:35,540 --> 01:32:38,973 Hold on, so where's, where's your son? 1955 01:32:39,006 --> 01:32:41,406 Well, we're going to collect him. 1956 01:32:41,440 --> 01:32:44,706 You still wanna go, yeah, see Harry Potter? 1957 01:32:44,740 --> 01:32:47,640 Yeah, I mean, we might as well. 1958 01:32:47,673 --> 01:32:50,940 Be good to, at least for us to see Harry Potter. 1959 01:32:50,973 --> 01:32:53,573 Well, you guys, I'm gonna have to take a rain check, I think. 1960 01:32:53,606 --> 01:32:55,806 You guys can drop me off on the way. 1961 01:32:55,840 --> 01:32:58,006 What do you mean? What are you doing? 1962 01:32:58,040 --> 01:33:01,073 I got that meeting I gotta go to. 1963 01:33:01,106 --> 01:33:03,706 What, at this hour of the morning? 1964 01:33:03,740 --> 01:33:06,673 Morning meeting. 1965 01:33:06,706 --> 01:33:08,006 Well, with who? 1966 01:33:08,040 --> 01:33:09,940 It's not important. 1967 01:33:09,973 --> 01:33:12,640 Dude, who‐‐ who are you meeting? 1968 01:33:14,006 --> 01:33:15,473 Wes. 1969 01:33:15,506 --> 01:33:17,940 Wes? 1970 01:33:17,973 --> 01:33:19,840 Your best friend? 1971 01:33:21,806 --> 01:33:24,906 Yeah, Wes, my best friend... and guess what? 1972 01:33:24,940 --> 01:33:29,373 I have three brothers, Andrew, Luke and Woody. 1973 01:33:29,406 --> 01:33:32,840 I feel like I just got demoted from second best friend... 1974 01:33:32,873 --> 01:33:36,606 to third favorite brother... god. 1975 01:33:38,040 --> 01:33:40,606 Hits just keep on coming, man. 1976 01:33:42,740 --> 01:33:44,640 Come on. 1977 01:33:44,673 --> 01:33:46,840 You want me to tell Wes you said hello? 1978 01:33:46,873 --> 01:33:49,540 Yeah, yeah, you know, I actually do like him. 1979 01:33:49,573 --> 01:33:51,006 You guys get along. 1980 01:33:51,040 --> 01:33:54,873 I'm just jealous, because he never called me for anything. 1981 01:33:58,473 --> 01:34:01,973 Hey, what was that thing you were saying was the... 1982 01:34:02,006 --> 01:34:07,373 talking about the beautiful thing that me and Laura had? 1983 01:34:07,406 --> 01:34:09,740 In the club? Yeah. 1984 01:34:09,773 --> 01:34:12,873 Oh, I was kind of just... 1985 01:34:12,906 --> 01:34:16,340 scrambling a little bit, but I mean‐‐ 1986 01:34:18,773 --> 01:34:20,573 What's going on? 1987 01:34:20,606 --> 01:34:23,673 Can a police car pull over another police car? 1988 01:34:23,706 --> 01:34:24,940 It's a bit strange, all right. 1989 01:34:24,973 --> 01:34:27,373 Well that doesn't make any sense. 1990 01:34:32,640 --> 01:34:34,473 Find out who it is. 1991 01:34:38,806 --> 01:34:39,906 But it doesn't surprise me, man. 1992 01:34:39,940 --> 01:34:42,806 The way things are going, this, this night is, er... 1993 01:34:42,840 --> 01:34:44,440 just never gonna stop. 1994 01:34:45,673 --> 01:34:47,873 License and registration? 1995 01:34:47,906 --> 01:34:51,540 Dante... what's going on, man? 1996 01:34:51,573 --> 01:34:54,973 You don't think I was gonna miss Harry Potter, do you? 1997 01:34:55,006 --> 01:34:57,706 Sign this. Oh, great, great. 1998 01:34:57,740 --> 01:34:59,840 Wow, just great. 1999 01:35:02,006 --> 01:35:04,740 And, er, we might have a few surprise guests. 2000 01:35:08,073 --> 01:35:10,673 Daddy! Kids! 2001 01:35:10,706 --> 01:35:13,440 Ah! 2002 01:35:13,473 --> 01:35:15,540 Why didn't you come home last night? 2003 01:35:15,573 --> 01:35:16,906 Where were you? 2004 01:35:16,940 --> 01:35:18,573 Oh, well, okay, I'm gonna... 2005 01:35:18,606 --> 01:35:21,506 er, I'm gonna explain it all to you, okay? 2006 01:35:21,540 --> 01:35:25,006 Um, you got any jokes for me? Uh, yeah. 2007 01:35:25,040 --> 01:35:28,106 When you go into the bathroom, you're American. 2008 01:35:28,140 --> 01:35:30,006 When you come out of the bathroom, you're American. 2009 01:35:30,040 --> 01:35:31,806 What are you when you're in the bathroom? 2010 01:35:31,840 --> 01:35:33,006 Ah, I give up. 2011 01:35:33,040 --> 01:35:35,473 You're a peein'. 2012 01:35:35,506 --> 01:35:39,473 Okay, there was this zoo with no animals and just one dog. 2013 01:35:39,506 --> 01:35:41,640 It was a Shitzu. I don't get it. 2014 01:35:41,673 --> 01:35:43,806 Woody, this is Billy. Dumb joke. 2015 01:35:43,840 --> 01:35:45,140 Say hello, Billy... who's that? Billy! 2016 01:35:45,173 --> 01:35:47,140 Hello, Billy. Who's this? 2017 01:35:47,173 --> 01:35:48,906 What you got here? Harry Potter. 2018 01:35:48,940 --> 01:35:50,540 Harry Potter. 2019 01:35:50,573 --> 01:35:52,040 Oh, it's nice to meet you. 2020 01:35:52,073 --> 01:35:53,240 Put me down. I'm gonna give you a minute. 2021 01:35:53,273 --> 01:35:57,540 Let's go, kids... I'll give you a minute, come on, let's go! 2022 01:35:57,573 --> 01:35:59,506 Let's go and see Harry Potter! 2023 01:36:09,006 --> 01:36:11,440 I thought you left me. 2024 01:36:11,473 --> 01:36:13,140 I did leave you. 2025 01:36:13,173 --> 01:36:15,006 But the sins of the father... 2026 01:36:15,040 --> 01:36:17,473 don't need to be visited on his children. 2027 01:36:17,506 --> 01:36:20,040 They really wanna meet Harry Potter. 2028 01:36:20,073 --> 01:36:23,840 So that's the reason you're here? 2029 01:36:23,873 --> 01:36:25,840 Mostly. 2030 01:36:27,540 --> 01:36:30,040 I've been doing a lot of thinking. 2031 01:36:30,073 --> 01:36:31,973 Yeah, so have I. 2032 01:36:32,006 --> 01:36:38,006 And, er, I know I cause you a lot of pain and humiliation. 2033 01:36:38,040 --> 01:36:41,673 You do not make it easy, Woody. 2034 01:36:41,706 --> 01:36:44,006 And I, I, I can't... 2035 01:36:44,040 --> 01:36:48,640 I tell you you're, you're the most amazing woman in the world. 2036 01:36:48,673 --> 01:36:50,073 And you're‐‐ you're the one for me. 2037 01:36:50,106 --> 01:36:53,873 Just not the only. 2038 01:36:53,906 --> 01:36:58,706 I can't imagine this, your, my world without you, I can't. 2039 01:36:58,740 --> 01:37:04,540 But... I think if I'm really gonna be selfless about this... 2040 01:37:04,573 --> 01:37:07,140 I don't wanna see you saddled with me... 2041 01:37:07,173 --> 01:37:11,573 cuz I don't wanna see the person I love with the person I hate. 2042 01:37:11,606 --> 01:37:16,473 And I, I know that the best thing that I can do for you... 2043 01:37:16,506 --> 01:37:18,873 and the only way I can truly love you... 2044 01:37:18,906 --> 01:37:23,040 is to help you get rid of me. 2045 01:37:23,073 --> 01:37:30,406 So I want you to go, in that van, and leave me here. 2046 01:37:30,440 --> 01:37:33,773 At least then I'll know you'll be all right, honey. 2047 01:37:57,573 --> 01:38:00,040 No! No, no! No! No! No! 2048 01:38:06,192 --> 01:38:07,928 Woody?! Papa! 2049 01:38:09,961 --> 01:38:12,061 How's it going down there, jail bird? 2050 01:38:12,094 --> 01:38:13,528 It's been better. 2051 01:38:13,561 --> 01:38:14,528 Come on, Woods. 2052 01:38:14,561 --> 01:38:17,561 Get him up, kids. Let's get him in the van. 2053 01:38:20,594 --> 01:38:24,594 You know, Woodrow, you're not quite rid of us. 2054 01:38:26,628 --> 01:38:28,794 Does that mean you're not gonna leave me? 2055 01:38:28,828 --> 01:38:30,528 Not yet. 2056 01:38:30,561 --> 01:38:32,828 Let's just see how the day goes. 2057 01:38:43,861 --> 01:38:45,561 Hello, Billy. 2058 01:38:45,594 --> 01:38:46,694 - Hey, guys. - Say, "Hi, Woody". 2059 01:38:46,728 --> 01:38:48,994 Hi, Woody. 2060 01:38:49,028 --> 01:38:50,861 Harry Potter. 2061 01:38:50,894 --> 01:38:53,094 Harry Potter! 2062 01:38:53,128 --> 01:38:55,128 Yeah! 2063 01:39:36,161 --> 01:39:38,861 So I remember when Woody and his family visited... 2064 01:39:38,894 --> 01:39:42,094 the Harry Potter set on, I believe it was the second film. 2065 01:39:42,128 --> 01:39:44,128 Um, so I was about 12 or 13. 2066 01:39:44,161 --> 01:39:48,794 And, er, whenever sort of famous people or actors came out... 2067 01:39:48,828 --> 01:39:50,794 to the set, you know, it was very exciting. 2068 01:39:50,828 --> 01:39:53,094 So the crew, everyone was very excited, I was very excited. 2069 01:39:53,128 --> 01:39:57,394 Er, and, and I met him and he was, they were all lovely. 2070 01:39:57,428 --> 01:39:59,961 Um, and then later that day... 2071 01:39:59,994 --> 01:40:04,861 sort of news started filtering through about some weirdness... 2072 01:40:04,894 --> 01:40:07,828 altercation with a taxi the previous night. 2073 01:40:07,861 --> 01:40:10,994 And the genuine reaction around the set was... 2074 01:40:11,028 --> 01:40:14,694 "Did Woody Harrelson just come and use the Harry Potter set... 2075 01:40:14,728 --> 01:40:16,928 "as a safe house for a day?" 2076 01:40:16,961 --> 01:40:19,394 "And was he just like coming here to hide out?". 2077 01:40:19,428 --> 01:40:22,528 Um, which it turns out wasn't the case, but if it had been... 2078 01:40:22,561 --> 01:40:25,628 it would have been a pretty cool thing to do. 2079 01:40:25,661 --> 01:40:30,994 Um, so, yeah, er, that was, that was the first time I met Woody. 2080 01:40:54,861 --> 01:40:59,061 ♪ Been bound up and wound up Could barely get a sound up ♪ 2081 01:40:59,094 --> 01:41:01,428 ♪ Been cheated mistreated ♪ 2082 01:41:01,461 --> 01:41:03,661 ♪ Don't even care to think of it ♪ 2083 01:41:03,694 --> 01:41:07,794 ♪ Been wasted basted Till I could hardly taste it ♪ 2084 01:41:07,828 --> 01:41:12,061 ♪ Knocked down kicked around Left to hug a cold ground ♪ 2085 01:41:12,094 --> 01:41:22,028 ♪ But I feel every story Every story you reveal ♪ 2086 01:41:22,061 --> 01:41:29,394 ♪ If love is my greatest glory ♪ 2087 01:41:29,428 --> 01:41:34,861 ♪ My greatest glory I cannot conceal ♪ 2088 01:41:42,161 --> 01:41:46,694 ♪ Been greedy and needy Sinister and seedy ♪ 2089 01:41:46,728 --> 01:41:50,728 ♪ Lost in illusion I cuddle my confusion ♪ 2090 01:41:50,761 --> 01:41:55,394 ♪ I crawl from my kingdom to wallow in your wisdom ♪ 2091 01:41:55,428 --> 01:41:59,394 ♪ Listless lecherous Oh my god I'm such a mess ♪ 2092 01:41:59,428 --> 01:42:05,828 ♪ But I feel every story ♪ 2093 01:42:05,861 --> 01:42:09,761 ♪ Every story you conceal ♪ 2094 01:42:09,794 --> 01:42:15,894 ♪ If love is my greatest glory ♪ 2095 01:42:15,928 --> 01:42:21,994 ♪ My greatest glory I'm ready to reveal ♪ 2096 01:42:25,061 --> 01:42:29,894 ♪ My love never let you down ♪ 2097 01:42:33,594 --> 01:42:38,394 ♪ My love never let you down ♪ 2098 01:42:41,861 --> 01:42:46,694 ♪ My love never let you down ♪ 2099 01:42:49,094 --> 01:42:51,461 ♪ I'll always be around ♪ 2100 01:42:53,728 --> 01:42:57,861 ♪ Always be around ♪ 2101 01:42:57,894 --> 01:43:00,461 ♪ Always be around ♪ 2102 01:43:01,861 --> 01:43:07,461 ♪ Always be around ♪ 2103 01:43:07,494 --> 01:43:11,728 ♪ Yeah all right ♪ 2104 01:43:15,794 --> 01:43:20,994 ♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah all right ♪