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1
00:00:15,867 --> 00:00:17,935
Young Brockmire's known for his temper.
2
00:00:17,968 --> 00:00:19,737
Let's see if he tries
to brush back the batter
3
00:00:19,771 --> 00:00:21,774
with a little chin music!
4
00:00:24,408 --> 00:00:26,077
Oh! Oh! It's coming!
5
00:00:27,112 --> 00:00:28,246
Steee-rike!
6
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:29,612
The catcher, Brockmire,
7
00:00:29,660 --> 00:00:32,249
is gonna have to take a minute
to recover from that fastball!
8
00:00:32,283 --> 00:00:34,185
Oh, Brockmire snap-throws
to the first baseman,
9
00:00:34,219 --> 00:00:35,987
Brockmire, who lays down the tag,
10
00:00:36,019 --> 00:00:37,922
and Brockmire's out!
11
00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:39,071
Brockmire's out!
12
00:00:56,074 --> 00:00:58,259
What time is it, Jim?
13
00:00:58,378 --> 00:01:01,879
- I-It's Tiki Time.
- Mm.
14
00:01:01,913 --> 00:01:04,815
And what are the rules of Tiki Time?
15
00:01:04,849 --> 00:01:06,016
- No talking.
- Mm.
16
00:01:06,050 --> 00:01:07,217
No crying.
17
00:01:07,251 --> 00:01:10,888
- And every day is paradise.
- And every day is paradise.
18
00:01:21,533 --> 00:01:23,400
Oh, God!
19
00:01:23,434 --> 00:01:26,238
The nails are splitting
the bamboo! God damn it!
20
00:01:26,271 --> 00:01:31,242
I spent $40 on this cheap piece of shit!
21
00:01:31,275 --> 00:01:32,911
Son of a...
22
00:01:32,944 --> 00:01:34,379
The mound at Candlestick right now
23
00:01:34,411 --> 00:01:37,014
is the loneliest place on Earth,
24
00:01:37,048 --> 00:01:40,418
and there's 33,000 people in the stadium
25
00:01:40,450 --> 00:01:43,922
and about 1 million butterflies.
26
00:01:46,590 --> 00:01:48,794
I can't believe it.
27
00:01:48,827 --> 00:01:51,229
I mean, I was always so diligent.
28
00:01:51,262 --> 00:01:53,064
And it's not like I was a nun.
29
00:01:53,096 --> 00:01:54,197
There were a few years back in my 20s
30
00:01:54,232 --> 00:01:57,935
where I was getting more
dick than a bathhouse in 1978.
31
00:01:57,968 --> 00:02:02,006
And not one pregnancy scare.
32
00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:05,810
I just... I never imagined
I would be conflicted at all.
33
00:02:05,843 --> 00:02:09,413
All right. I got... $100, $200, $345,
34
00:02:09,447 --> 00:02:11,583
and we can stop at the
ATM on the way there.
35
00:02:11,616 --> 00:02:13,185
And let's definitely tip.
36
00:02:13,218 --> 00:02:14,986
Those people... they... they work hard.
37
00:02:15,018 --> 00:02:16,822
What is this? What are you doing?
38
00:02:16,854 --> 00:02:19,156
Look, I never have gotten
anybody pregnant before,
39
00:02:19,190 --> 00:02:21,893
but I have paid for my share
of abortions, all right?
40
00:02:21,925 --> 00:02:25,162
Just, you know, as a friend, a
mentor, a pro-choice advocate,
41
00:02:25,196 --> 00:02:26,965
as a small-loan investor one time...
42
00:02:26,997 --> 00:02:28,532
Okay, Jim, slow down.
43
00:02:28,566 --> 00:02:32,370
I... am still weighing my options.
44
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:35,840
No, please. Entirely
up to you. I understand.
45
00:02:35,873 --> 00:02:37,575
I gave up my vote at ejaculation,
46
00:02:37,609 --> 00:02:39,878
so, you know, feminism,
47
00:02:39,911 --> 00:02:41,446
your body, your choice...
48
00:02:41,478 --> 00:02:44,348
all of that razzmatazz.
49
00:02:44,382 --> 00:02:46,016
Thank you.
50
00:02:49,152 --> 00:02:51,155
I just need some time to think about it.
51
00:02:51,188 --> 00:02:52,257
And you need to think about
52
00:02:52,289 --> 00:02:54,459
whether you're able to be a father.
53
00:02:56,527 --> 00:02:58,562
I'm gonna have to ask
you for some numbers here,
54
00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:00,265
because right now, you're just giving me
55
00:03:00,298 --> 00:03:03,335
a whole lot of maybe homework.
56
00:03:03,367 --> 00:03:05,637
Are you asking me for abortion odds?
57
00:03:05,669 --> 00:03:07,238
I am. Yes.
58
00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:11,141
Just please, for brevity
and for clarity's sake.
59
00:03:11,174 --> 00:03:14,111
Okay. Right now, I'd say...
60
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:21,986
... 60/40 in favor of keeping it.
61
00:03:22,020 --> 00:03:24,055
Really?
62
00:03:24,087 --> 00:03:25,623
Wow.
63
00:03:25,657 --> 00:03:27,626
I think I might have backed
you into an answer there.
64
00:03:27,658 --> 00:03:28,787
- No!
- No, I think I did
65
00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:29,923
And I think we should both
66
00:03:29,928 --> 00:03:31,429
just take our time
with this whole thing.
67
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,497
Yes. I-I agree.
68
00:03:46,144 --> 00:03:48,212
Hey, Jim.
69
00:03:48,246 --> 00:03:50,215
What are you doing here?
70
00:03:50,247 --> 00:03:51,416
Oh, I just wanted to see
71
00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:53,584
if maybe you want to
have a catch with me.
72
00:03:53,617 --> 00:03:56,321
Like, with, um, a Frisbee or...?
73
00:03:56,353 --> 00:03:58,422
Uh, no, like with a baseball, Charles.
74
00:03:58,455 --> 00:03:59,352
- Ah.
- It's time you learned the very
75
00:03:59,361 --> 00:04:00,319
basics of the game
76
00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:02,060
that you watch every single day.
77
00:04:02,092 --> 00:04:03,929
Yeah. Sure.
78
00:04:03,961 --> 00:04:05,996
- Yeah. I'm down.
- Great. Great.
79
00:04:06,030 --> 00:04:07,331
- Charles?
- Yeah?
80
00:04:07,365 --> 00:04:08,967
How about you go wash your hands first?
81
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,102
Okay. I'm gonna go...
82
00:04:11,134 --> 00:04:13,405
I'm gonna go do that.
83
00:04:20,978 --> 00:04:22,947
Women! Get out of here.
84
00:04:22,980 --> 00:04:24,917
Well, wonders never cease.
85
00:04:26,551 --> 00:04:28,353
Wow. That hurt?
86
00:04:28,385 --> 00:04:29,653
Ah.
87
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,655
- It's...
- You're not playing tag with it.
88
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:34,426
You just... just open your
mitt and watch it go in there.
89
00:04:34,458 --> 00:04:35,739
Why are we doing this?
90
00:04:35,794 --> 00:04:38,395
Every boy has to at least
know how to play catch.
91
00:04:38,429 --> 00:04:40,138
- Why?
- Because you're an American,
92
00:04:40,177 --> 00:04:41,177
God damn it.
93
00:04:41,232 --> 00:04:42,633
This is how the game continues.
94
00:04:42,667 --> 00:04:44,536
It gets passed down through generations,
95
00:04:44,568 --> 00:04:48,205
fathers patiently teaching
their sons, et cetera.
96
00:04:49,607 --> 00:04:51,342
Oh. My God.
97
00:04:51,376 --> 00:04:54,111
Y-You throw like a blind
baby waving bye-bye.
98
00:04:54,145 --> 00:04:55,412
What was that?
99
00:04:55,446 --> 00:04:57,147
Are you sure you're right-handed?
100
00:04:57,181 --> 00:05:00,185
I'm... I-I think so.
101
00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:02,287
Look, my father taught me
how to throw a baseball.
102
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,457
It was about the best
10 minutes we ever spent.
103
00:05:08,059 --> 00:05:10,027
Getting closer, getting closer.
104
00:05:10,061 --> 00:05:13,131
Mm. I see what this is.
105
00:05:13,164 --> 00:05:15,265
You're trying to work out
your father issues on me.
106
00:05:15,299 --> 00:05:16,633
No, I'm not.
107
00:05:16,667 --> 00:05:18,570
I couldn't give two
shits about that asshole.
108
00:05:18,602 --> 00:05:21,739
He spent my entire chi...
109
00:05:21,772 --> 00:05:23,674
He spent my entire childhood
110
00:05:23,708 --> 00:05:27,145
building a Tiki bar in our backyard
111
00:05:27,177 --> 00:05:29,547
so he could just drink alone.
112
00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:31,383
I'm nothing like that idiot.
113
00:05:31,415 --> 00:05:33,550
You sure? You're a raging alcoholic,
114
00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:35,152
and you spent the last
10 years of your life
115
00:05:35,186 --> 00:05:36,688
in tropical Southeast Asia.
116
00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:39,656
Uh, let's dial it down,
okay, Dr. Joyce Brothers.
117
00:05:39,689 --> 00:05:41,658
We're not trying to work on
my daddy issues here.
118
00:05:41,691 --> 00:05:43,360
We're working on yours.
119
00:05:43,393 --> 00:05:45,295
- I thought you wanted a father figure.
- For sure.
120
00:05:45,328 --> 00:05:47,664
I barely see my dad now
'cause of the divorce,
121
00:05:47,698 --> 00:05:50,135
and my stepdad's a hard-ass,
122
00:05:50,167 --> 00:05:53,270
but you're the last person
I'd peg as my father figure.
123
00:05:53,304 --> 00:05:55,407
Kind of thought I already was.
124
00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:57,374
Mm.
125
00:05:57,407 --> 00:05:59,044
You think I'd be a good father?
126
00:05:59,076 --> 00:06:01,578
It would be mean of me to say
127
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:05,516
you'd be a bad father, but...
128
00:06:05,549 --> 00:06:07,585
I'm willing to be mean to
make sure you never procreate.
129
00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:10,755
Yeah, you would be a terrible
father. Don't do that.
130
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:13,223
Never mind, all right?
Let's just play catch.
131
00:06:13,256 --> 00:06:15,793
Now, just get ready.
Keep your glove open.
132
00:06:15,826 --> 00:06:17,728
- Just watch it go...
- This is boring.
133
00:06:17,761 --> 00:06:20,464
- What else do you have to do?
- You saw me up there.
134
00:06:20,498 --> 00:06:21,498
I am 17,
135
00:06:21,532 --> 00:06:23,768
and porn is literally
endless on the Internet.
136
00:06:23,801 --> 00:06:26,805
Sometimes, I just put
in a random body part
137
00:06:26,837 --> 00:06:28,472
to see if someone's
thought to put a dick in it.
138
00:06:28,506 --> 00:06:29,741
They always have.
139
00:06:29,773 --> 00:06:31,742
Baseball can't compete with pornography!
140
00:06:31,775 --> 00:06:34,746
I mean, nothing can.
141
00:06:34,779 --> 00:06:37,348
Oh, fine. Go jerk off.
142
00:06:37,381 --> 00:06:40,184
Beat it! Literally.
143
00:06:40,217 --> 00:06:42,753
Let me know if you need
me to send you any links!
144
00:06:42,787 --> 00:06:45,222
Well, don't leave your... Oh, man.
145
00:06:48,525 --> 00:06:51,328
Brockmire known for his temper.
146
00:06:51,361 --> 00:06:53,431
Let's see if he brushes back this batter
147
00:06:53,463 --> 00:06:55,894
with a little bit of chin music!
148
00:06:56,997 --> 00:06:59,571
Oh, he does. Oh, my goodness.
149
00:06:59,604 --> 00:07:02,441
He put the fear of
God into Jenkins there.
150
00:07:07,712 --> 00:07:10,248
Mmm.
151
00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:11,648
Mmm.
152
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:13,217
Mm.
153
00:07:13,251 --> 00:07:17,554
Can I have like, um...
154
00:07:17,587 --> 00:07:19,556
a seltzer water?
155
00:07:19,590 --> 00:07:22,393
What's going on? Are you sick?
156
00:07:22,426 --> 00:07:24,830
Oh, my God. Do you have cancer?
157
00:07:28,566 --> 00:07:31,268
I don't mean for this to
sound judgmental in any way,
158
00:07:31,301 --> 00:07:33,237
but, um...
159
00:07:33,270 --> 00:07:35,530
You've had an abortion, right?
160
00:07:35,569 --> 00:07:37,307
Oh, yeah! Yeah.
161
00:07:37,340 --> 00:07:38,575
And it wasn't easy.
162
00:07:38,609 --> 00:07:40,277
No, it seems like a really hard choice.
163
00:07:40,311 --> 00:07:42,640
No, the choice was easy.
164
00:07:42,646 --> 00:07:45,352
Getting the procedure
done was the hard part.
165
00:07:45,472 --> 00:07:46,794
So, at first, I couldn't go
166
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,453
to the Planned Parenthood in
town 'cause it burned down.
167
00:07:48,486 --> 00:07:51,945
I heard they had an accident
when I fire-bombed the place.
168
00:07:53,305 --> 00:07:55,209
You burned down a Planned Parenthood?
169
00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:57,011
Yeah.
170
00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:58,311
Okay, anyways.
171
00:07:58,344 --> 00:07:59,279
That meant I had to pay
172
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,247
for a round-trip bus
ticket to Pittsburgh,
173
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:03,150
plus the cost of three
nights at the hotel,
174
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:04,183
plus the cost of the surgery.
175
00:08:04,218 --> 00:08:06,420
Sweetie, I'm so sorry you
had to go through that.
176
00:08:06,452 --> 00:08:07,587
Oh, that's not the worst part.
177
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:09,555
When I walked into the clinic,
178
00:08:09,589 --> 00:08:11,791
the protestors screamed the worst things
179
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:13,560
humanly possible in my face,
180
00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:16,363
but it was fine 'cause I was
listening to "Shake It Off."
181
00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:19,800
And then somebody threw a
diaper full of rocks at me.
182
00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:22,235
- What?!
- That I couldn't shake off.
183
00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:23,658
What... What about the procedure?
184
00:08:23,698 --> 00:08:25,438
Oh! That was easy.
185
00:08:25,471 --> 00:08:27,073
You know, they just
knocked me out, like pbht!
186
00:08:27,106 --> 00:08:28,674
And sure, when I woke
up, I felt like shit
187
00:08:28,707 --> 00:08:30,810
and I had black eye from
the rock diaper, but...
188
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,546
Would I do it again?
189
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:35,449
Yeah. I did.
190
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:38,052
Jesus, I don't think
I can go through that.
191
00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:39,352
Wait.
192
00:08:44,356 --> 00:08:47,060
So I'm... I'm deciding what to do.
193
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:49,328
I'm raising this town up on my back
194
00:08:49,361 --> 00:08:50,697
with pure womanly strength.
195
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:55,168
Maybe... Maybe I could
raise a baby, too.
196
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:58,855
Jules, I... love you.
197
00:08:58,910 --> 00:09:01,308
I love you, too, sweetheart.
198
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:03,409
... as a boss.
199
00:09:03,442 --> 00:09:06,679
Um... this just feels
like a super, like,
200
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:09,750
personal conversation for,
like, "workplace environment."
201
00:09:09,783 --> 00:09:12,219
You just told me every intimate
detail of your abortion.
202
00:09:12,251 --> 00:09:13,586
I tell everybody that story!
203
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,288
It's the first thing
in my dating profile.
204
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,091
- She tells everybody.
- Dale knows.
205
00:09:17,124 --> 00:09:19,159
This just feels like the sort
of thing you want to discuss,
206
00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:21,461
like, maybe with friend, you know?
207
00:09:21,495 --> 00:09:24,097
You do have friends, right?
208
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:25,365
Of course I have friends.
209
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,301
Yeah, you do!
210
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:28,334
I have a lot of friends.
211
00:09:28,369 --> 00:09:30,437
I just... You know, they
just moved away from...
212
00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:31,772
from Morristown.
213
00:09:31,804 --> 00:09:34,207
- Yeah.
- They're in Butler Heights now.
214
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:38,111
I mean, I have a lot
of friends that's...
215
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:39,645
Oh, D-Diana!
216
00:09:39,678 --> 00:09:41,247
Diana is one of my frie...
217
00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,851
Ahh! Ooh-ooh!
218
00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:45,519
I can't believe you're pregnant!
219
00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:46,687
Oh!
220
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,255
Oh, man.
221
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:50,657
You really snuck that
one in under the wire.
222
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:54,428
So, who's the father?
Is he cute? Is he blonde?
223
00:09:54,461 --> 00:09:56,663
Tall? Blue eyes? I know what you like.
224
00:09:57,697 --> 00:10:00,868
I think I still have some
prenatal vitamins left.
225
00:10:02,568 --> 00:10:04,637
Oh, and Mae has outgrown
all of her newborn clothes,
226
00:10:04,670 --> 00:10:05,838
so I can give those to you now.
227
00:10:05,871 --> 00:10:08,608
And look, everyone's gonna
warn you how painful birth is,
228
00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:10,309
and they are totally right.
229
00:10:10,342 --> 00:10:12,279
The first one is always horrendous,
230
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:14,548
but by the third one, she just pbht!
231
00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:15,883
Right out of my vagina.
232
00:10:15,915 --> 00:10:17,723
- Diana...
- It was like a trap door opened,
233
00:10:17,803 --> 00:10:18,712
and she just slid out...
234
00:10:18,717 --> 00:10:20,302
I don't know if I'm gonna keep
235
00:10:20,389 --> 00:10:21,389
this baby.
236
00:10:26,638 --> 00:10:27,840
Really?
237
00:10:27,873 --> 00:10:29,842
You don't have any white wine, do you?
238
00:10:29,874 --> 00:10:33,645
Jules...
239
00:10:33,678 --> 00:10:36,481
This baby is your sign...
240
00:10:36,514 --> 00:10:39,384
to let go of the past
and embrace change.
241
00:10:39,417 --> 00:10:40,686
Parenthood isn't a prison.
242
00:10:40,719 --> 00:10:43,522
It actually... frees parts of yourself
243
00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:45,458
you didn't even know were there.
244
00:10:49,194 --> 00:10:51,497
- What is that?
- The princess is up.
245
00:10:51,529 --> 00:10:52,831
Oh, goody!
246
00:10:52,864 --> 00:10:54,365
Ooh!
247
00:10:54,398 --> 00:10:56,368
Oh!
248
00:10:56,401 --> 00:10:57,603
Can you show her how you walk?
249
00:10:57,636 --> 00:10:59,505
Good job. Say hi to Jules!
250
00:10:59,537 --> 00:11:01,773
Oh!
251
00:11:01,806 --> 00:11:03,209
Say hi to Jules!
252
00:11:05,277 --> 00:11:06,479
Do you want to say hi to Jules?
253
00:11:08,279 --> 00:11:09,447
Oh! She likes you!
254
00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:12,117
High five!
255
00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:17,656
Jose, finish your science project, okay?
256
00:11:17,689 --> 00:11:20,259
Carmina, mi Amor. Come on.
257
00:11:20,292 --> 00:11:23,229
55 times 6 is not 300. Try again.
258
00:11:23,262 --> 00:11:26,799
Ransom, break a leg
in the play tomorrow.
259
00:11:26,831 --> 00:11:28,299
Marco. Marco?
260
00:11:28,332 --> 00:11:30,235
Polo!
261
00:11:30,268 --> 00:11:33,772
Mijo!
262
00:11:33,805 --> 00:11:35,407
Okay, Daddy's got to go, okay?
263
00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:37,475
- I love you.
- I love you.
264
00:11:37,508 --> 00:11:39,411
- I love you.
- I love you.
265
00:11:39,444 --> 00:11:41,180
- I love you.
- I love you.
266
00:11:41,213 --> 00:11:44,316
- I love you.
- I love you.
267
00:11:44,349 --> 00:11:46,285
Okay, Jim.
268
00:11:46,317 --> 00:11:48,653
You're a pretty big part of
your kids' lives there, huh?
269
00:11:48,686 --> 00:11:50,556
Uribe talks to them all the time.
270
00:11:50,589 --> 00:11:53,359
And since there's 13 of
them, it takes a lot of work.
271
00:11:53,392 --> 00:11:56,528
So, do you... do you love being a dad?
272
00:11:56,561 --> 00:11:57,863
Eh, mas o menos.
273
00:11:57,896 --> 00:11:59,832
Mostly, I hate wearing condoms.
274
00:11:59,864 --> 00:12:03,168
Why wear a saddle when
you like to feel the horse?
275
00:12:03,201 --> 00:12:06,638
Because some horses...
they have Gonorrhea.
276
00:12:06,672 --> 00:12:09,707
Gonorrhea is worth it,
man, to spread your legacy.
277
00:12:09,740 --> 00:12:12,577
Look. Think about it this way.
278
00:12:12,610 --> 00:12:15,446
Every human body is
a... is a DNA machine
279
00:12:15,479 --> 00:12:16,916
designed to reproduce.
280
00:12:16,949 --> 00:12:21,387
Inside of you is a...
is a genetic coding
281
00:12:21,420 --> 00:12:23,722
that goes back billions of years.
282
00:12:24,956 --> 00:12:27,192
And who are you to break that chain?
283
00:12:27,225 --> 00:12:29,662
Boy. I never thought about my jizz
284
00:12:29,695 --> 00:12:31,931
in terms of geological time.
285
00:12:31,964 --> 00:12:33,666
One of Uribe's baby mamas
286
00:12:33,699 --> 00:12:36,402
is an Anthropology tenure professor
287
00:12:36,435 --> 00:12:38,369
at Howard University.
288
00:12:41,639 --> 00:12:43,741
With an ass that you could
just bury your face like that.
289
00:12:43,774 --> 00:12:46,745
Br-Br-Br-Br!
290
00:12:49,580 --> 00:12:51,584
- Who is it?
- Brockmire.
291
00:12:51,617 --> 00:12:53,953
Just shut up. Let me talk.
292
00:12:53,985 --> 00:12:56,422
After Lucy, I did not want to have kids.
293
00:12:56,455 --> 00:12:57,956
I just... I didn't want to bring a child
294
00:12:57,989 --> 00:12:59,557
into a world this cold, you know?
295
00:12:59,590 --> 00:13:01,493
But then I met you, darling,
296
00:13:01,526 --> 00:13:03,929
and every day feels like a
warm, sunny afternoon to me,
297
00:13:03,961 --> 00:13:05,830
so, I don't know.
298
00:13:05,864 --> 00:13:08,968
I just figure anything half-you
can't be all bad, right?
299
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,835
I want to terminate the pregnancy.
300
00:13:10,869 --> 00:13:12,638
Oh, Thank you, God. Seriously.
301
00:13:12,671 --> 00:13:14,506
- Thank you.
- I went to see my friend Diana,
302
00:13:14,538 --> 00:13:16,641
and she has this cute,
little, fat angel baby,
303
00:13:16,675 --> 00:13:18,377
and...
304
00:13:18,410 --> 00:13:20,779
I sat her in my lap and
I stared into her eyes
305
00:13:20,811 --> 00:13:23,514
and I just... I...
306
00:13:23,547 --> 00:13:25,750
I felt nothing.
307
00:13:25,783 --> 00:13:27,785
If that slice of heaven
didn't give me a kick
308
00:13:27,819 --> 00:13:31,623
to the Utes, I don't want to be a mom.
309
00:13:31,657 --> 00:13:35,261
Anyway, the team is my baby.
310
00:13:35,293 --> 00:13:38,930
And... in a way...
311
00:13:38,964 --> 00:13:41,800
you and I are raising it together.
312
00:13:41,832 --> 00:13:43,401
Well...
313
00:13:43,435 --> 00:13:47,272
Look, we really dodged a
bullet with my DNA, anyway.
314
00:13:47,306 --> 00:13:49,541
Seriously. Alcoholism, drug addiction,
315
00:13:49,574 --> 00:13:51,844
and this voice are all
hereditary, for both sexes.
316
00:13:51,877 --> 00:13:53,946
No, every single one of my aunts
317
00:13:53,979 --> 00:13:56,949
was in a barbershop quartet, so...
318
00:13:56,981 --> 00:14:00,051
Yeah.
319
00:14:00,085 --> 00:14:03,955
We're gonna have to go to
Pittsburgh for the procedure.
320
00:14:03,989 --> 00:14:05,824
Yeah! Road trip, baby!
321
00:14:05,856 --> 00:14:07,025
A little less enthusiasm.
322
00:14:07,058 --> 00:14:08,626
Sorry. Just... Road trip.
323
00:14:08,660 --> 00:14:10,062
Road trip.
324
00:14:10,095 --> 00:14:12,264
No baby.
325
00:14:14,808 --> 00:14:17,245
And you understand all the risks
326
00:14:17,278 --> 00:14:18,779
in terminating a pregnancy?
327
00:14:18,812 --> 00:14:21,215
Actually, I have a question.
Is this like batteries?
328
00:14:21,247 --> 00:14:23,650
Do we have to bring it to the
recycling center afterwards?
329
00:14:28,289 --> 00:14:29,624
I'm joking.
330
00:14:29,657 --> 00:14:31,259
You probably get that
kind of thing a lot, right?
331
00:14:31,292 --> 00:14:34,394
You know... we really don't.
332
00:14:34,428 --> 00:14:36,297
Okay.
333
00:14:36,330 --> 00:14:38,633
How soon can we schedule the procedure?
334
00:14:42,736 --> 00:14:45,806
That is the procedure.
335
00:14:45,838 --> 00:14:49,276
Based on your ultrasound,
you're not yet seven weeks,
336
00:14:49,309 --> 00:14:51,545
so a D&C isn't recommended.
337
00:14:51,578 --> 00:14:55,282
You know, I... Pills
are really hard for me.
338
00:14:55,316 --> 00:14:56,817
I'm more of a type of girl.
339
00:14:56,850 --> 00:14:58,952
Please don't use a cocaine
gesture in front of me.
340
00:14:58,986 --> 00:15:01,355
- I'm a doctor.
- Sorry.
341
00:15:01,388 --> 00:15:02,723
I just want to make sure
342
00:15:02,755 --> 00:15:04,759
that you two have really
thought this through.
343
00:15:04,792 --> 00:15:06,661
It's a serious decision.
344
00:15:06,693 --> 00:15:08,295
There are no take-backs.
345
00:15:08,328 --> 00:15:09,829
- No, please. We totally get that.
- Yeah.
346
00:15:09,862 --> 00:15:11,765
No, trust me. I have thought
about this long and hard,
347
00:15:11,798 --> 00:15:15,502
and this is what's best for us.
348
00:15:15,535 --> 00:15:16,736
And for everyone else.
349
00:15:16,769 --> 00:15:18,706
The world has enough
barbershop quartets.
350
00:15:22,409 --> 00:15:25,846
Okay. So.
351
00:15:25,879 --> 00:15:29,584
I want you to take... one pill now
352
00:15:29,616 --> 00:15:33,987
and the other within 8 to 12 hours.
353
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:35,822
- Now?
- Yes.
354
00:15:35,856 --> 00:15:38,391
- Like, right here?
- Right now.
355
00:15:38,424 --> 00:15:39,859
Okay.
356
00:15:39,893 --> 00:15:41,862
- All right.
- Okay.
357
00:15:41,894 --> 00:15:44,298
No warming up in the bullpen.
358
00:15:48,901 --> 00:15:50,737
- Here we go.
- Yep.
359
00:15:56,677 --> 00:15:58,479
You okay?
360
00:15:58,511 --> 00:15:59,479
Mm-hmm.
361
00:16:01,048 --> 00:16:03,484
Is there some... some other
way we could give it to her?
362
00:16:03,516 --> 00:16:04,651
No.
363
00:16:11,792 --> 00:16:14,795
It's okay to chew it?
364
00:16:14,827 --> 00:16:17,332
No.
365
00:16:22,303 --> 00:16:24,272
- Ah. Okay.
- Good?
366
00:16:30,943 --> 00:16:32,947
Pre-gaming this abortion, darling...
367
00:16:32,980 --> 00:16:35,015
it was the best idea that you ever had.
368
00:16:35,048 --> 00:16:36,817
I know.
369
00:16:36,850 --> 00:16:38,819
I've been cutting back so much.
370
00:16:38,851 --> 00:16:40,387
Now we have to celebrate.
371
00:16:40,420 --> 00:16:42,822
Oh, I agree.
372
00:16:42,856 --> 00:16:45,025
And don't mind if I do!
373
00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:55,369
Ooh, that's got a kick.
374
00:16:55,401 --> 00:16:57,570
Oh, what the hell?
375
00:16:57,604 --> 00:16:59,907
What the hell?
376
00:17:03,876 --> 00:17:06,479
- Ooh!
- Okay.
377
00:17:06,513 --> 00:17:08,949
Hello!
378
00:17:08,981 --> 00:17:10,918
Baby! Oh!
379
00:17:10,951 --> 00:17:12,420
- Thoughtful.
- Mm-hmm.
380
00:17:12,452 --> 00:17:13,853
Look at how nice that is.
381
00:17:13,887 --> 00:17:15,489
Cheers.
382
00:17:15,522 --> 00:17:17,858
Let's do this.
383
00:17:17,890 --> 00:17:20,093
- Yeah.
- Wait, where's my pill?
384
00:17:20,127 --> 00:17:22,029
I don't know. Where is your pill?
385
00:17:22,062 --> 00:17:24,698
I chopped it up so I could toot it.
386
00:17:24,732 --> 00:17:27,902
You know I don't like
swallowing lumps of medicine.
387
00:17:34,541 --> 00:17:36,644
You snorted my abortion.
388
00:17:36,677 --> 00:17:38,446
Oh! Oh, you should
know better than to...
389
00:17:38,478 --> 00:17:40,347
First of all, greedy!
390
00:17:40,380 --> 00:17:42,416
Second of all, are you
freaking kidding me?
391
00:17:42,448 --> 00:17:43,750
All right, all right, all right.
392
00:17:43,784 --> 00:17:45,119
Okay, I'm... I'm gonna die, right?
393
00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:46,821
- Am I gonna die?
- I don't know.
394
00:17:46,853 --> 00:17:48,088
Am I going to die?
395
00:17:48,121 --> 00:17:49,890
- I don't know!
- Well, let's find out.
396
00:17:49,922 --> 00:17:52,492
Oh, my God. Oh!
397
00:17:52,525 --> 00:17:54,562
What should we do? All right.
398
00:17:54,594 --> 00:17:55,929
What are we gonna do?
399
00:17:55,963 --> 00:17:58,899
- Okay, it burns. I...
- Oh, it burns.
400
00:17:58,931 --> 00:18:00,367
Thank you so much for coming in.
401
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,035
Yeah, of course.
402
00:18:02,069 --> 00:18:05,106
In case of emergency,
I'm always happy to help.
403
00:18:08,809 --> 00:18:10,611
So, what happened? Something wrong?
404
00:18:12,579 --> 00:18:15,416
All right, suppose
just hypothetically...
405
00:18:15,448 --> 00:18:17,784
What if I took one of
her pills by mistake?
406
00:18:17,818 --> 00:18:20,020
Would that... What would happen?
407
00:18:20,053 --> 00:18:22,390
I have no idea. That's
never happened before.
408
00:18:22,422 --> 00:18:25,125
I guess you're going to
experience the same symptoms.
409
00:18:25,159 --> 00:18:29,530
Nausea, cramping,
spotting... hypothetically.
410
00:18:29,563 --> 00:18:31,564
I just don't know from where.
411
00:18:31,598 --> 00:18:33,568
Could I just get another pill, please?
412
00:18:40,707 --> 00:18:42,943
Then we'll be out of your hair.
413
00:18:42,976 --> 00:18:46,546
I want you to take that in front of me.
414
00:18:48,715 --> 00:18:51,785
No problem.
415
00:18:51,819 --> 00:18:54,055
- Can we move this along a little bit?
- Yep.
416
00:19:08,968 --> 00:19:10,770
I did it.
417
00:19:10,803 --> 00:19:14,675
It just... It just...
smoothly went down.
418
00:19:14,707 --> 00:19:16,944
Thank God.
419
00:19:16,976 --> 00:19:19,447
Now you can leave.
420
00:19:19,479 --> 00:19:20,847
And never come back.
421
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:23,184
All right. You cramping?
422
00:19:23,216 --> 00:19:26,085
- Spotting.
- Oh.
423
00:19:29,121 --> 00:19:30,925
Fucking people.
424
00:19:32,159 --> 00:19:34,061
Not a pleasant 24 hours.
425
00:19:34,093 --> 00:19:36,897
Oh, I-I know what you mean.
426
00:19:36,929 --> 00:19:38,698
And apparently, I am the first man
427
00:19:38,732 --> 00:19:41,735
in medical history who can say that.
428
00:19:41,767 --> 00:19:44,838
I didn't expect you to step
up and be so supportive.
429
00:19:44,871 --> 00:19:48,175
I know. I-I was surprised
by that, too, but...
430
00:19:48,207 --> 00:19:49,350
What can I say?
431
00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:51,712
This is definitely the best
relationship of my life,
432
00:19:51,745 --> 00:19:54,222
and... and you're my favorite person.
433
00:19:56,015 --> 00:19:58,852
Okay, what did we learn from this?
434
00:19:58,886 --> 00:20:02,857
If I see a random line, say
"No, thank you, I'm fine."
435
00:20:02,890 --> 00:20:04,158
No, I'm serious.
436
00:20:04,190 --> 00:20:06,125
Something positive
should come out of this.
437
00:20:06,159 --> 00:20:08,228
We should... We should
do something for a kid.
438
00:20:10,663 --> 00:20:12,699
Hey, how about 13 kids?
439
00:20:19,005 --> 00:20:20,975
Man, that is a lot of children.
440
00:20:25,678 --> 00:20:26,947
Yes. Corazon.
441
00:20:26,979 --> 00:20:29,549
Love you, too.
442
00:20:29,582 --> 00:20:31,051
Look at this.
443
00:20:31,083 --> 00:20:33,553
We put a little, tiny bit
of good into the world.
444
00:20:33,586 --> 00:20:35,956
Mm-hmm.
445
00:20:38,257 --> 00:20:40,026
Holy shit. Is that...
446
00:20:40,060 --> 00:20:41,896
That's Robbie Butler!
447
00:20:41,928 --> 00:20:43,630
- Robbie Butler?
- Jim.
448
00:20:43,663 --> 00:20:44,964
The hell are you doing here, man?
449
00:20:44,997 --> 00:20:46,566
God, it's good to see you!
450
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,936
- Good to see you, buddy.
- What are you up to?
451
00:20:48,968 --> 00:20:50,904
Well, I'm coaching at Oklahoma State.
452
00:20:50,938 --> 00:20:52,973
- Get out of here. Well, that's fantastic!
- Yeah.
453
00:20:53,005 --> 00:20:54,240
- Yeah.
- My God.
454
00:20:54,274 --> 00:20:55,575
How you doing?
455
00:20:55,609 --> 00:20:57,311
Oh, you know, I'm all right.
456
00:20:57,343 --> 00:21:00,914
Hey, Robbie. I... I got to say,
457
00:21:00,947 --> 00:21:03,182
of all the awful
things I did in my life,
458
00:21:03,216 --> 00:21:04,918
how I treated you was right up there.
459
00:21:04,951 --> 00:21:07,053
No, really. I mean,
you were a good friend
460
00:21:07,086 --> 00:21:08,988
and an adequate
broadcaster, and I just...
461
00:21:09,022 --> 00:21:11,992
I should have helped you out
more, and, well, I'm sorry.
462
00:21:12,024 --> 00:21:14,261
Well, it's great to
hear you say that, Jim.
463
00:21:14,293 --> 00:21:17,163
But, hey, listen. Before
we get into our shit, um...
464
00:21:17,197 --> 00:21:19,300
I got to tell you, the
reason I'm here is, uh...
465
00:21:19,332 --> 00:21:21,101
Joe Buck sent me to come talk...
466
00:21:21,133 --> 00:21:23,570
- Oh!
- No fighting!
467
00:21:23,603 --> 00:21:24,837
You chose the wrong side, Butler!
468
00:21:24,870 --> 00:21:26,172
- Jim!
- It's okay, kids.
469
00:21:26,206 --> 00:21:28,108
- They're just pretending!
- The kids!
470
00:21:28,140 --> 00:21:30,009
They need to see what
justice looks like!
471
00:21:30,043 --> 00:21:31,911
Stop it! No fighting!
472
00:21:31,945 --> 00:21:33,246
Right now, it looks like me
473
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,843
beating the shit out of this traitor!
474
00:21:36,195 --> 00:21:40,262
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