All language subtitles for Alice in Wonderland Part2

(SCREAMING)

(GROWLING)

(SOBBING)
Please don't hurt me. Please!

(SIGHS)

(GROANING)

I'm terribly sorry.

I really didn't mean
to knock you all over.

(ALL GROANING)

Hello? Hello?

WHITE KING: Are you all right,
my dear?

WHITE QUEEN: I think so.

WHITE QUEEN: Oh, look at me.
My dress is a mess.

Hello?
And I just had it made.

I really don't think
they can hear me.

WHITE KING: Don't fret,
my dear, I'll see to
a new one at once.

Hello?

And they
can't see me either.

(BABY CRYING)

WHITE QUEEN:
My baby!

My precious lily!
My imperial child!

Imperial fiddlesticks.

I think my nose
is out of whack.

So is my sacroiliac.

WHITE QUEEN: Baby!

(SCREAMING)

Oh, my baby. My baby.

Yeah, my baby.

Oh.

Mind the tornado.

What tornado?

The one that
practically blew me up.

Be careful. There's really
a very strong wind.

It's gonna take you hours
to get on that table
if I don't help you.

(CHUCKLING)
Please don't make such faces.

You're making me
laugh so hard,
I can hardly hold you.

(CHUCKLING)

(GROANS)

Well, I warned you
about the tornado.

I've turned cold
to the very end
of my whiskers.

You don't
have any whiskers.

The horror of what
just happened to me
I shall never, never forget.

Oh, my baby.

Hello again. Hello?

If they can't see me
or hear me,

then they certainly won't
be able to tell me anything
about that terrible monster.

OWL: I can tell you
about your monster.

You can?
I'd be ever so grateful.

And you can see me
and hear me?

Of course.

(CROW CAWING)

What happened
to that monster?

Not that I'd want
to meet him again.

Nothing happened to him.

That monster was a thing
you created
in your own mind.

My mind most certainly
did not create
anything like that.

I was simply reading
a silly book.

I...
Your fears
gave birth to it.

And until you overcome
those fears, little girl...

My name is Alice, Mr. Owl.

As long as
you have those fears
inside you, Alice,

the Jabberwocky may come
for you at any time.

Well, I suppose
there are some fears
inside me.

But, please,
I really must know

how to get back
through the mirror.

Well, don't worry.

Why shouldn't I worry?

Well, there's always
another way back.

And there's no point
in going home

until you're not so afraid
of not growing up.

Now, wait a minute.
I've done a great deal
of growing up,

and growing down.

When you overcome
the great fear in you,
then and only then,

will you be able to stop
the frightening appearances
of the Jabberwocky

and return to your family.

But how?

Only you know
the answer to that.

I don't know.

If I knew,
I would tell myself.

And you don't care,
or you'd tell me!

You really would.

Oh, but I do care.

And you will see
that all the creatures
in Looking Glass Land care.

Why should they?

Because when the fear in you
creates the Jabberwocky,

it is dangerous
for all of us around here.

It is really
to our best interest

if you, uh, cure these
terrible afflictions
by yourself.

And the best way to do it
is to stay here

and listen to me
for a few years.

Years? I can't even stay here
for another moment.

My poor mother must be
in a terrible state. Goodbye.

If you don't stay,
you may never
get home at all.

Well, I suppose I could
stay and listen to you
for a while.

In that case,
I'll be on my way.

But you wanted me to stay.

Ah! But now you're in
Looking Glass Land,

and everything here
is backward.

The reverse of
everything you expected.

But we were just
beginning to talk.
Just beginning to...

Yes. Yes, my dear.

But here,
beginnings are endings.

(SIGHS)

Such a lovely garden.

Maybe this is the way home.

I hope.

If only flowers
could talk.
We can talk.

If there's anybody
worth talking to.

Excuse me,
can all the flowers talk?

As well as you can,
and a great deal louder!

It's just not good manners
for us to speak first.

But since you did
before we did,

I can tell you,
when I first saw you,

I thought,
"This little girl has a face
with some sense in it."

Though not very much.

It looks like
a very clever face to me.

If only her petals
curled up a little more,
she might be all right.

Aren't you frightened
at being planted out here

without anybody
to take care of you?

There's the tree close by.

But what can it do
if any danger came?
It could bark.

It says, "Bow-wow."
That's why its branches
are called boughs.

You'd have to be pretty dense
not to understand that.

(LAUGHING)

If you don't speak to me
more politely, I'll...

I'll pick you.

(GASPS)

Good for you.

There's only one flower worse
than the tiger lily.

The daisy. When one speaks,
they all speak.

It's enough
to make you faint,

the way they go
on and on and on.

How is it you all talk?

I've been in
many gardens before,

but none of the flowers
could talk.

Put your hand down
and feel the ground.

Then you'll know why.

Hmm.

It's very hard,
but I don't see what that
has to do with it.

In most gardens,
they make the beds too soft,

so the flowers
are always asleep.

(SNORING)

(GIGGLES)

I never thought of that
before.

In my opinion,
you never think at all.

I never saw anybody
who looked more stupid...

ROSE: Hold your tongue.

As if you ever saw anybody.

You hide your head
under your leaves
and snore away

till you know no more
of what's going on
in the world than a bud.

Are there any more people
in the garden besides me?

ROSE: Oh, a few.

And here comes one
of the stranger ones now.

Oh, my!

The Red Queen's
grown a good deal.

It's the fresh air
that does it.

Excuse me. I really
must go and talk to her.

Goodbye.

(SNORING)

Where did you come from?

I... I...

Look up, speak nicely,

and stop twiddling
your fingers all the time.

I'm lost. I lost my way.

What do you mean, your way?

All the ways around here
belong to me.

And curtsey
while you're thinking
of what to say.

It saves time.

I... I only wanted to see
what the garden was like,
Your Majesty.

I thought
I'd try to find my way
to the top of this hill.

ALICE: Oh!

The land. It's all marked out
like a large chessboard.

RED QUEEN:
Well, of course it is.

ALICE: This is all one
big game of chess?

One big game
that's being played
all over the world?

I can't believe it.

There must be
pieces moving everywhere.

I wish I was one of them.

Oh, you're going to be.

How wonderful!

I wouldn't even mind
being a pawn.

Though I'd rather be a queen.

But you're
going to be a pawn.

One of the White Queen's
little brats is too young
to play,

so you'll have to
take her place.

You will be a pawn,
which will start you
in the second square

at the board, naturally.

I can't play.
I really must be going home.

When you're a queen,
you may go home.

But you said
I was only going to be a pawn.

That's quite correct.

But when you reach
the eighth square
of the chessboard,

then, then you'll be a queen,
and then you may go home.

Hurry.
We'll miss everything.

Hurry where?

RED QUEEN: I'll show you!

RED QUEEN: Faster! Faster!

ALICE: I don't understand!

Don't try to talk!
Faster! Faster!

(WHOOPING)

(LAUGHING)

Are we nearly there?

No! Faster! Faster!

(LAUGHING)

(SIGHING)

You may rest a little now.

(PANTING) But we haven't
gotten anywhere.

If you wanted
to get anywhere,

you'd have to run
twice as fast as you did.

Now what are you doing?

I'm taking measurements.

At the end of three yards,
I shall have
some more rules for you.

And at the end of five yards,
I shall go.

But can't you stay
and talk a while?

Well, that does it.

I really must be going now.

If you do make it
to the eighth square,

then we shall all
be queens together,

and it will all be
feasting and fun.

How will I get home?
Tell me.

What happened to her?

Oh, my.

I will find my way home.
I just know I will.

I want to get to
the eighth square
as quickly as possible.

Which way do I go?
What do I do?

(TRAIN HORN BLOWING)

(CHUCKLING) Well, well,
what have we here?

(BLEATING)

Ticket, ticket,
ticket, ticket.

Ticket, ticket, ticket,
ticket. Tickets, please.

Here you are.

Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.

There.

Hmm.

Show your ticket.

Well, don't keep him
waiting, child.

His time is worth
$1,000 a minute.

I'm afraid
I haven't got one.

There wasn't a ticket office
where I came from.

No excuses, please.

You should've bought one
from the engine driver.

(BLEATING)
Ticket, ticket,
ticket, ticket.

Ticket, ticket,
ticket, ticket...

He means the man
who drives the engine
also sells the tickets.

You should've known that.

(BELL CLANGING)

There's obviously
no use in even
speaking to you people.

Or whatever you are.

You'd better say
nothing at all then.

Around here, language
is worth $1,000 a word.

I'll dream about
$1,000 tonight.

I just know it.

(BLEATING)

Where are you going, child?

To square four.

Well,
at least she's old enough
to know where she's going,

even if she doesn't
know her own name.

I know my name.

She should've known her way
to the ticket office

even if she doesn't
know the alphabet.

(BLEATING)
I know the alphabet.
I really do.

She'll have to go back
from here as luggage.

(ALL LAUGHING)

No, I won't.

I don't belong on this
railway journey at all.

I was in the forest just now,
and I wish
I could get back there.

Well, "If wishes were horses,
beggars would ride."

That's an old expression.

Here's another
old expression.

(EXCLAIMING)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

If you're so anxious
to make a joke,
why don't you make one?

I...

Well, it's the most unheard of
thing I've ever heard of.

(SNORTING)

What a bunch
of grouchy people
you all are.

(BLEATING) We should
send her on by mail.

She's got quite a stamp
on her.

No, no, no.
We should send her
as a message by telegraph.

(LAUGHING)

Whoa!

Hold on. I think this train's
out of control.

Oh, who cares?
As long as it'll take me
into the fourth square.

Uh, I really think I should
pull an emergency cord.

There isn't
an emergency cord.

There's not even
a non-emergency cord.

No.

There's got to be!
All trains have one.

You pull it
and the train stops.

Well, there isn't,
you little crybaby.

There's got to be one.
There isn't.

The only thing you can
pull around here
is your own weight.

That's what you think.

(SCREECHING)

(HORSE NEIGHING)

(GOAT BLEATING)

Well...
I must say...

(ALL PANTING)

Who stopped the train?

HORSE: She's the culprit.
GENTLEMAN IN PAPER SUIT:
Tattletale.

Well, how did she do it?

She yanked on his
chinny chin-chin.

Almost pulled my whiskers off,
she did.

Little girl, didn't you know
it's against the law
to stop the train?

Unless, of course,
it's an emergency.

It was.
The train was running away.

Oh! And who was it
running away from?

That's a silly question.

And you're a silly girl.

And you're
a silly-billy goat.

(LAUGHING)

She got your goat that time.

"Got your goat,"
that's very good.

I'm going to write
that down on paper.

Next time, stay off my train.

I will!

She almost ruined my lunch.

(TRAIN HORN BLOWING)

GNAT: (SHOUTING) Hello. Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

What do you want?

You look
like a very nice person.
A very, very nice person

who wouldn't hurt me
even if I am an insect.

I can see that.

But exactly
what kind of insect are you?

I'm a gnat.

But what kind of insects
do they like
where you come from?

Well,
I don't usually like insects
where I come from.

But could you please tell me
if this is the fourth square?

You see, I'm on my way
to the eighth square
where I'll be a queen.

Why would you
want to be a queen?

I guess then
I'll be grown up enough
to go home.

And my mother
will be so glad
to see me.

She'll see how grown-up I am.

Invite me to sit at tea.

Is this forest
the fourth square?

Yes, but I wouldn't
go in there if I were you.

Well, as long as
there aren't any monsters,

I'm sure I'll be quite fine.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I really must be going.

Don't say
I didn't warn you.

No, I really
would never say that.

Bye.

"To Tweedledum's house."

"To the home of Tweedledee."

I suppose those two
live in the same house.

Hmm.

Maybe they can tell me
how to get to
the eighth square.

If you think we're waxworks,
you really ought to pay,
you know.

Waxworks weren't made
to be looked at for nothing.

I didn't know you were alive.

Contrariwise,
if you think we're alive,
then you should speak.

Oh, yes. I'm very sorry.

Hmm. I know
what you're thinking about.

Well, it isn't so. No how.

Contrariwise,
if it was so, it might be,

and if it were so,
it would be,
but as it isn't, it ain't.

That's logic.
That's logic.

Well, I was thinking
which way was the best way
out of the wood.

Well, you've begun wrong.

The first thing you do
in a visit is you say,

"How do you do?"
and you shake hands.

BOTH:
* How do you do? Shake hands

* Welcome to you
Shake hands *

* It's really quite
important to be proper *

* And don't you dare
to be dumb *

* Or you may come a cropper

* The weather is fine
Shake hands *

* The pleasure is mine
Shake hands *

* And though the meeting
may be fleeting *

* It's so lovely,
don't you see *

* If you'll shake hands
with me *

* The weather is fine
Shake hands *

* The pleasure is mine
Shake hands *

* And though the meeting
may be fleeting *

* It's so lovely,
don't you see *

* If you shake hands

* Don't be a fool
Shake hands *

* If you'll shake hands

* With me! *

(GASPS)

I hope you're not too tired.

TWEEDLEDUM: Oh, no how.

But thank you very much
for asking.

So much obliged.

You like poetry?

Well, some poetry.

But would you tell me
which road leads
out of the wood?

But I know so much poetry.

You really must
stay long enough
and let me entertain you.

What marvelous poem
shall I recite to her?

Why, The Walrus
and the Carpenter.

It's the longest.

If it's very long,
would you please
tell me first which road?

I mean, you're both
so very exhausted.

Nonsense!
Nonsense!

*(TWEEDLEDEE AND TWEEDLEDUM
WHISTLING)

BOTH: * The sun
was shining on the sea
Shining with all his might *

* He did his very best
to make the billows
smooth and bright *

TWEEDLEDUM: * And this
was odd, because it was
the middle of the night *

BOTH:
* The moon was shining sulkily
because she thought the sun *

* Had got no business
to be there
after the day was done *

* "It's very rude of him,"
she said,
"to come and spoil the fun!" *

TWEEDLEDUM:
* The sea was wet
as wet could be *

* The sands were dry as dry

* You could not see a cloud
because no cloud
was in the sky *

* No birds were flying
overhead *

* There were no birds
to fly *

*(SINGING OPERA)

*(SINGING IN HIGH-PITCH)

WALRUS: Oi!

(LAUGHING)

(GRUNTS)

* The Walrus and the Carpenter
were walking close at hand *

* They wept like
anything to see
such quantities of sand *

* If this were only
cleared away, my friend,
it would be grand! *

* If seven maids
with seven mops
swept it for half a year *

* Do you suppose
in that much time that
they could get it clear? *

* I doubt it really
could be done
At least by me, my dear *

Oh, oh!

You see that?

* O, Oysters,
come and walk with us *

* We truly do beseech

* A pleasant walk,
a pleasant talk *

* Along the briny beach

* We cannot do
with more than four
to give a hand to each *

* The time has come,
I'm quite convinced *

* To talk of many things

* Of shoes and ships
and sealing wax *

* Of cabbages and kings

* And why the sea
is boiling hot *

* And whether pigs
have wings *

OYSTERS: * But wait a bit,
if you don't mind *

* Before we have our chat

* For some of us
are out of breath *

* And all of us are fat!

* We do not wish
to hurry you *

OYSTERS:
* We thank you much for that

* A loaf of bread
and butter, too *

* Is what we chiefly need

* And vinegar
and salt besides *

* Are very good indeed

* Now if you're ready,
Oysters, dear *

* We can begin to feed

OYSTERS: * But not on us,
if it's all the same *

* And strictly entre nous

* For after such a kindess

* What a dismal thing
to do! *

* Shall we have some wine?

* The night is fine

* Do you admire the view?

* It was so kind
of you to come! *

* And you are so very nice!

* Talk is cheap
by the briny deep *

* Cut us another slice

* I wish you were
not quite so deaf
I've had to ask you twice *

* It seems
a rather dreadful shame
to play them such a trick *

* After we've
brought them out so far
and made them trot so quick *

* Say what you will,
but as for me *

* The butter's spread
too thick! *

Look, they're getting away.

Turn around,
and get after them.

* I weep for you,
my little friends
I deeply sympathize *

* I sob a sob
and I weep some tears *

* All those
of a larger size *

* Oh,
hold your pocket handkerchief
before your blooming eyes *

* "O, Oysters,"
said the Carpenter *

* "You've had
a pleasant run! *

* "Shall we be
trotting home again?" *

* But the answer
came there none *

* And this was
scarcely odd, because *

(BOTH BURPING)

* They'd eaten every one *

They ate them all?
What monsters.

(WIND HOWLING)

Oh, it's somebody's shawl.

WHITE QUEEN: Bread and butter.
Bread and butter.

Bread and butter.
Bread and butter.

My shawl.

Where's my bread
and butter, baby?

Oh, thank you.
I've been looking for that.

Then I'm really glad
I happened to be in the way.

Bread and butter.
Bread and butter.

Bread and...

My hat.

Am I addressing
the White Queen?

Well, yes, if you can
call that a dressing.

It's not my notion
of the thing at all.

If Your Majesty
will only tell me
the right way to begin,

I'll do it as well as I can.

May I help put your shawl on
straight for you?

Please.

It's out of temper, I think.

It's in a snit.

It's peevish.
It's having a fit.

I've pinned it here
and I've pinned it there.

There's no pleasing it.

Well, you look better now.

But really,
you should have a lady's maid.

I'll take you
with pleasure.

Tuppence a week,
and jam every other day.

I don't want you to hire me
and I don't care for jam.

Well, it's very good jam.

Well, I don't want
any today at any rate.

Well, you couldn't have it
if you did want it.

The rule is "Jam tomorrow,
jam yesterday,

"but never jam today."

It must come sometimes
to "jam today."

No, it can't.

It's jam every other day.

Today isn't any other day,
you know.

* Jam tomorrow, jam yesterday
But never, ever jam today *

* I said, jam tomorrow,
jam yesterday *

* But never, ever jam today

* You can wish as you want
You can want as you wish *

* Still you'd
better hear me say *

* Jam tomorrow, jam yesterday
But never, ever jam today *

* I'm ashamed of marmalade!

* Not jelly, not honey,
for love, nor money *

* Never, ever jam today

* Oh, you can wish as you want
You can want as you wish *

* Still you'd
better hear me say *

* Jam tomorrow,
jam yesterday *

* But never, ever
jam today! *

(GIGGLING)

It's dreadfully confusing.

Well, that's the effect
of living backward.

It makes everyone
a little giddy at first.

But there's one
great advantage.

The memory works both ways.

Well, I'm sure mine
only works one way.

I can't remember
things before they happen.

Well,
it's a poor sort of memory
only works backwards.

What sort of things
do you remember best?

Things that happened
the week after next.

(SHOUTS)

My finger's bleeding!

(SHOUTS)

How'd that happen?

Have you stuck your finger?

Well, I haven't stuck it yet,
but I soon shall.

(SCREAMING)

When do you expect to do it?

When I fasten
my shawl again.

The brooch will
come undone directly.

Be careful!
You're holding it
all crooked!

See? That accounts
for the bleeding.

Now you understand
the way things happen here.

How old are you?

Seven and a half exactly.

I'm just 101.

I can't believe that.

You can't?

I hope your finger's
better now.

Better.

Much better.

Better.

(SHEEP BLEATING)

(WOLF HOWLING)

What a thick,
black cloud that is.

I believe it's got wings.

I hope it's not...

(SQUAWKING)

It's only a giant bird.

I thought the Jabberwocky
was coming back again.

(SIGHS)

It can't reach me here.

It's too large
to get through the trees.

I wish it wouldn't
flap its wings so.

It's like a hurricane.

It's Humpty Dumpty.
It can't be anyone else.

And he looks
exactly like a giant egg.

Young lady,
it's not very nice
to tell someone

he looks like an egg.

But some eggs
are very beautiful, you know.

Some people
have no more sense
than a baby.

My name is Alice, sir.

That's a stupid name.

I may be stupid, sir,

but don't you think
you'd be a lot safer
down here on the ground?

The wall is very narrow.

Of course
I don't think so.

Why, even if I did fall off,
the King has promised...

To send all of his horses
and all of his men

to put Humpty Dumpty
back together again.

You've been snooping
at doors,

or you couldn't
have known that!

Oh, no. It's in a book
of very famous
nursery rhymes.

What a beautiful belt
you've got.

Really? When a person
doesn't know
a cravat from a belt!

(LAUGHS)

It's a cravat, child,
and a very beautiful one,
I might add.

It's a present
from the White King and Queen.

Really?

Yes, really.

They gave it to me
for an unbirthday present
just this past week.

An unbirthday present?

What's an unbirthday present?

It's a present given
when it isn't your birthday,
of course!

I like birthday presents best.

You don't know
what you're talking about!

How many days are there
in a year?

365.

And how many birthdays
do you have?

One.

And if you take
one from 365,

that means you can get
364 unbirthday presents.

You see, dum-dum?

Certainly.

And only one
for birthday presents,
you know.

Now there's glory for you.

I don't know
what you mean by "glory."

Of course you don't.

Till I tell you.
I mean, there's a nice
knockdown argument for you.

But "glory" doesn't mean
a "nice knockdown argument."

When I use a word,
it means just
what I choose it to mean!

Neither more nor less.

The question is

whether you can make words
mean so many different things.

The question is
which is to be master.
That's all!

Words, they've a temper.

Hmm.

Some words,
particularly verbs,

they're the proudest.

Adjectives you can
do anything with,
but not verbs.

However, I can manage
the whole lot of them!

(LAUGHING)

Impenetrability.
That's what I say.

Would you please tell me
what that word means?

Now you talk like
a reasonable child.

I meant by "impenetrability"
that we've had enough
of that subject.

And it would be just as well
if you'd mention
what you mean to do next,

because I suppose
you don't mean to stop here
all the rest of your life.

That's a great deal
to make one word mean.

When I make a word
do a lot of work like that,

I always pay it extra.

Mr. Dumpty, if you're going
to skip and dance,

don't you really think
it'd be a bit safer
down here on the ground?

Actually, no!
If I thought that,
I'd do that!

You are a rather
fearful little child,
aren't you?

Mr. Dumpty,
you don't understand.

I suppose I do have
a lot of fears inside me.

And Mr. Owl,
at least I think
that was his name...

(THUNDER CLAPPING)

Mr. Dumpty, my fears
are bringing back
the Jabberwocky!

The Jabberwocky?

(SCREAMING)

(GROWLING)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(GROWLING)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

Hello, little girl.

Did you happen to see
my two messengers
as you came through the wood?

No, Your Majesty.

Well, would you mind looking
along this road here

and tell me if you can
see either of them?

I see nobody on the road.

Oh. I only wish
I had such eyes
to be able to see nobody.

It's as much as I can do
to see real people
by this light.

I see somebody now!

But he's coming very slowly.

His name is Haigha.

He's an Anglo-Saxon
messenger.

Listen.

I love my love with an "H"
because he is happy.

I hate him with an "H"
because he is hideous.

I fed him with... with...

With ham sandwiches and hay.

His name is Haigha
and he lives...

He lives on the hill.

My other messenger's
called Hatter.

I must have two,
you know, to come and go.

One to come and one to go.
Oh, yes.

I beg your pardon?

It isn't respectable to beg.

(SCREAMING)
Your Majesty.

You frightened me!

I feel faint.
Give me a ham sandwich.
Nothing but hay left now.

Well, hay then.
Okay.

There's nothing
like eating hay
when you feel faint.

I think throwing cold water
over you would be better.

I didn't say
there was nothing better,

I said there was
nothing like it.

(SNEEZING)

Who did you pass
on the road?

I'll whisper it.

(SHOUTING)
They're at it again!

Do you call that a whisper?

Who's at it again?

Why, the Lion
and the Unicorn,
of course.

Let's run and see them.

Oh, no, please.

I really must be
getting on my way.

BOTH: * The Lion
and the Unicorn were fighting
for the crown *

* The Lion beat the Unicorn
all around the town *

But you don't understand,
I really must be going home.

* La, la, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la *

(HITE KING
AND MESSENGER SCATTING)

ALL: * The Lion
and the Unicorn
were fighting for the crown *

* The Lion beat the Unicorn
all around the town *

Play!

* Some gave them white bread
and some gave them brown *

* And some gave them plum cake
and drummed them out of town *

* And drummed them out of town
And drummed them out of town *

* And drummed them out of

* Town

(ALL SCATTING)

* The Lion and the Unicorn

* The Lion and the Unicorn

* The Lion and the Unicorn

* The Lion and the Unicorn

* Were fighting for the

* Crown! *

Does the one that wins
always get the crown?

(SCOFFING) Dear me,
no, what an idea.

(EXCLAIMS)

(ALL CLAMORING)

(GROWLING)

(GROANING IN PAIN)

Oh, my!

All right, all right!

Ten minutes allowed
for refreshments!

(LAUGHING)
I don't think they're gonna
fight anymore today.

I should hope not.

Go order the drums
to begin.

You know, boom-boom, boom.

I had the best
of it this time!

You shouldn't
have run him through
with your horn.

UNICORN: It didn't hurt him.

What is this?

WHITE KING: A child.
We only found it today.

It's as large as life
and twice as natural.

A child?

But I--I--I always thought
that children were
fabulous monsters.

Is... Is it alive?

Oh, yes.
It can even talk.

This is incredible.
Talk, child.

(ALL GASPING)
Well,

do you know I always thought
unicorns were
fabulous monsters, too?

(SNICKERING)

Though I never saw
one alive before.

Well, now that
we have seen one another,

if you'll believe in me,
I'll believe in you.

Is it a bargain?

Yes, if you like.

That'd be rather pleasant.

(NEIGHING)

(RASPING)

Are you animal,

vegetable,

or mineral?

You dum-dum!

I already told you
she's a fabulous monster!

Then hand round the cake,
monster.

ALICE: Yes, sir.
Right away, sir.

May I please have the cake?

Be careful.

If you drop it,
the lion will eat you.

I wouldn't do that.

Yet!

Please don't say that.

You're making me nervous.

You'd better hurry.

He's very short-tempered.

Don't do what
he says, monster.

Don't listen to him.
Cut the cake!

And I say "Don't!"
And I say "Do!"

What a fight
we might have
for the crown now, sir!

Oh, and I will
surely win.

Oh, I don't think so.

Why, I'll beat you
all around the town,
you cluck chicken!

All around the town, eh?

Ha! Well,
that's a good long way.

Will you go by
the old bridge
or by the marketplace?

The best view
is by the old bridge.

(CHORTLING)

Cut the cake.

(ALL LAUGHING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

The monster's
having an awful time
trying to cut that cake.

I've cut it twice,
but it just seems
to go back together again.

You don't know how to serve
Looking Glass cake?

Hand it round first,
then cut it afterwards!

(ALL LAUGHING)

(SHOUTING)

Now cut the cake!

This isn't fair.
The monster has given
the lion twice as much as me.

LION: Well, she's kept none
for herself, anyhow.

Do you like
plum cake, monster?

Well...

*(DRUMS BEATING)

What is that sound?

Oh!

What is that sound?
What is it?

I don't understand!

What is it?

If that noise doesn't
drum everybody out of town,
nothing ever will.

(HOOVES CLOMPING)

MAN: Ahoy! Ahoy!

(MARSHALLING)

Wow.

(NEIGHING)

Check.
You're my prisoner.

MAN 2: Ahoy! Hey! Hey!

(MAN 2 MARSHALLING)

Check.

She's my prisoner,
you know.

Yes, but then I came
and rescued her.

Well, then we must
fight for her.

You will observe
the rules of battle,
of course.

I always do.

(BOTH SHOUTING)

There are so many fights
in Looking Glass Land.

(HORSES NEIGHING)

Check.

Check.

It was a glorious victory,
wasn't it?

(LAUGHING)

I don't know.

I don't wanna be
anybody's prisoner.

I just know
I must become a queen

if I'm ever
to get home again.

And you will.

When you have
crossed the next brook,

you will definitely
be a queen.

I will see you safe
to the end of the wood.

Then I must go back,
you know.

Yes, that is the end
of my move.

Thank you very much.

Come.
I'll get you on your way.

All right.

You can go ahead,
lead me.

All right.
Come on. Come on.

All right,
to the end of the wood.

I hope you've got your hair
well fastened on.

Only in the usual way.

Oh, that's not good enough.

No, you see, the wind
is so very strong here.

It's as strong as,
uh, uh, soup.

But I have a plan
for keeping your hair
from falling off.

Well, I should like to
hear it very much.

Well, you see,
the reason hair falls off
is because it hangs down.

(CHUCKLING)
Things never fall upwards,
you know.

This is a plan
of my own invention.

You might try it
if you like.

First, you take
an upright stick.

Oh, there's one.

(HORSE NEIGHING)

I hope no bones
are broken.

None to speak of.

The great art of riding,
as I was saying,
is to keep your balance.

How can you keep on talking
head downward?

What does it matter
where my body happens to be?

My mind goes on
working all the same.

In fact,
the more head downwards I am,

the more I keep
inventing new things.

Like this song I am
about to sing to you.

Is it long?

Because you said
you would see me
to the end of the wood.

That I shall.

I take your hand.

I understand.

And we are dancing.

Without a word,
it seems absurd.

* But we are dancing

* We didn't need a cue

* Yet with a girl like you

* It seems the thing to do

* Don't you agree?

Yes, I do.

* I hear the strings
My poor heart sings *

* And we are dancing

* We share a smile,
and for a while *

* We two are dancing

* If ever time

* Should bring another year

* Another spring

* They'll be compared

* To what I've shared

* With you

* I hear the strings
My poor heart sings *

* And we are dancing

* We share a smile,
and for a while *

* We two are dancing

* If ever time should bring

* Another year

* Another spring

* They'll be compared

* To what I've shared

* With you *

Oh!

Now, you've only
a few yards to go.

Down the hill
and over the brook,
and then you will be a queen.

Then I just know
I'll be home,
I just know it.

But you will stay
to see me off first,
won't you? I shan't be long.

And if you simply
wave your handkerchief,

it will encourage me
very much.

All the finest damsels
do that sort of thing.

Of course I'll wait.

And thank you very much
for saving me.

Farewell, fair maiden.

Farewell, gallant knight.

Oops.

I hope I encouraged him
a little.

This must be
the eighth square.

I'm so happy to get here.

What is this on my head?

Now how in the world
did this crown
get on my head

without me knowing it?

Oh, but this is wonderful!

I never expected
to be a queen so soon.

Now, I'll tell you
what this means,
Your Majesty.

It'll never do for you
to be rolling around
on the grass anymore.

Queens have to be
very dignified, you know.

And if I really am a queen,

I shall be able to manage it
quite well in time.

I just know it.

Please,
would you tell me
how I might...

Speak
when you're spoken to.

If everybody
obeyed that rule,

nobody would
ever say anything.

Ridiculous.

I overheard you
saying to yourself,
"If I really am a queen..."

What right have you
to call yourself
anything of the sort?

I'm sure I didn't mean to...

That's just what
I'm complaining about!

You should have meant it.

What do you suppose
is the good of a child
without meaning?

Even a joke
has some meaning.

Well,
she's in that state of mind

that she wants
to deny something,

only she doesn't
know what to deny.

A nasty, vicious temper!

Now, my dear White Queen,

let me invite you
to Alice's dinner party
this afternoon.

And I invite you.

Now, if you'll pardon me!

I didn't know I was giving
a dinner party at all.

But if there's
going to be one,

I think I ought to
invite the guests,
don't you?

We gave you the opportunity
of doing it,

but you didn't
invite anybody.

It's obvious you never
had any lessons in manners.

(SIGHING) Manners aren't
taught in lessons.

Lessons teach addition,
subtraction

and things of that sort.

Well, then,
I have a lesson for you.

* Can you do addition?

* What is one and one
and one and one *

* And one and one
and one and one and two? *

* Can you do subtraction?

* Eight from nine and two
from eight and six from three
and one from seven, too *

* Can you do division?

* Six divided by a three
and then a two *

* Yes, you

* Can you multiply, my dear?

* Then what are three times
six and two times ten,
and then again *

* Addition

* Subtraction

* Division

* Multiplication!

* Can you do addition?

* What is one and one
and one and one *

* And one and one
and one and one and two? *

* Can you do subtraction?

* Eight from nine and two
from eight and six from three
and one from seven, too *

* Can you do division?

* Six divided by a three
and then a two *

* Yes, you!

* Can you multiply, my dear?

* Then what are three times
six and two times ten,
and then again *

* Forget your slumbers,
recall your numbers *

* Just add up the list

* Just think of pluses
and of minuses *

* It's sure
to clear your sinuses *

* We simply must insist! *

Well, Alice,
what's your answer?

I don't know.
I lost count.

Well, then. Of course,
you do know your ABC's?

Sure, I do.

So do I.

Oh, we shall have
such glorious times together

saying the alphabet
over and over.

Can you answer
useful questions?

How is bread made?

I know that.

First, you take
some flour...

(SNICKERING)

But where do you
pick the flower?

It isn't picked at all,
it's ground.

RED QUEEN: Oh, fan her.

She's probably just feverish
from all this thinking.

Do you know languages?

What is French
for "fiddle-de-dee"?

I'll tell you what.

If you'll tell me
what language
"fiddle-de-dee" is,

I'll tell you
the French for it.

Queens never make bargains.

I wish queens
never asked questions.

Well, here's a question
with an answer.

Is life just
a giant game of chess?

I assure you,
the answer is yes.

Do you mean something
is moving us about?

That's for me to know
and you to find out.

* Is the ocean
as level as a pool? *

* Well, to think so
you'd have to be a fool *

* There are millions
of waves in an ocean *

* So something obviously
keeps them all in motion *

* And do you stand motionless,
my girl? *

* No, you constantly
are running in a whirl *

* But since
you've come uninvited
for this visit *

* I should think that
you'd be wondering *

* What is it?

(SIGHING)

* Should I reveal to you
the secret, my dear? *

Yes, Your Majesty,
that's what I want to hear.

* When the world
seems full of trouble
and of strife *

* What moves us through this

* Crazy game of life?

* Emotions

* Emotions

* They're much stronger

* than magical potions

* They make us behave

* as we do

* You may like it or not

* But it's true

* Emotions

* Emotions

* When we smile or we frown

* That is why

* Some are good

* Some are bad

* Some are sweet

* Some are sad

* Can't escape them

* However we try

* We've emotions, my dear

* Till we

* die *

Oh, poor thing.
She's tired.

Smooth her hair,
lend her your nightcap,

and sing her
a soothing lullaby.

I haven't got
a nightcap with me

and I don't know
any soothing lullabies.

But if you'd only tell me
how I might go home,

I'd be certain to get you
anything you need.

I promise you I would,
I truly would.

Oh, I must do it myself.

(SNORING)

* Hush-a-bye, lady

* In Alice's lap

* Till the feast's ready

* We've time for a nap

* When the feast's over

* We'll go to the ball

* Red Queen

* And White Queen

* And Alice

* And

* All *

(SNORING)

Mother, Father,

will I ever see you again?

*(MUSIC PLAYING)

* To the Looking Glass world
It was Alice that said *

* I've a scepter in hand
I've a crown on my head *

* Let the Looking
Glass creatures,
whatever they be *

* Come and dine

* With the Red Queen,
the White Queen and me *

* Then fill up the glasses
as quick as you can *

* And sprinkle the table
with buttons and bran *

* Put cats in the coffee,
and mice in the tea *

* Welcome Queen Alice
with thirty times three *

* Oh, Looking Glass creatures
I pray, draw near *

* 'Tis an honor to see me,
a favor to hear *

* 'Tis a privilege high
to have dinner and tea *

* With the Red Queen,
the White Queen and me! *

* Then fill up all the glasses
with treacle and ink *

* Or anything else
that is pleasant to drink *

* Mix sand with the cider
and wool with the wine *

* And welcome Queen Alice

* With ninety times nine

(ALL CHEERING)

* Then fill up all the glasses
with treacle and ink *

* Or anything else
that is pleasant to drink *

* Mix sand with the cider
and wool with the wine *

* And welcome Queen Alice

* With ninety times nine *

RED QUEEN: Welcome,
Queen Alice!

ALICE: Thank you.

We drink to your health.

Good idea.
To Queen Alice's health!

KING OF HEARTS: Hear, hear!
ALL: Hear, hear!

(ALL CHATTERING)

You ought to return
your appreciation
in a neat speech.

We're only teaching you
the very basics
of proper behavior.

Oh, yes, dear.

If you were ever
invited to tea anywhere,

you'll need to know
these little pleasantries.

It's proper that
you should know
about proper behavior.

I... I thank you all.

But please, everyone,
show me how I go home.

I don't want to be here
anymore.

All I want to do
is to go home.

I've never heard
such a thing in my life!

What nerve!
Ingrate! Did you hear...

(ALL CHATTERING)

Well, I...
MAN: Ridiculous!

BOTH: A present's
come for you, dear.

For me?

(GROWLING)

(SCREAMING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

(ALL CLAMORING)

(JABBERWOCKY GROWLING)

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

Off with his head!
Off with his head!

By Jove!
I certainly scared him off,
my dear.

(SCREAMING)

(GROWLING)

I'm coming, fair maiden.
I'm coming!

Have no fear.
The White Knight is here!

No! Go back!
He'll kill you!
He really will!

I'll save you, fair maiden.
Do not be afraid!

(EXCLAIMS)

(GRUNTING)

Go, fair maiden! Go,
I'll hold the monster off.

Go, I say!
Save yourself!

(GRUNTING)

(THUNDER CLAPPING)

Please help me, Mr. Owl.

I don't know what to do.

Don't let the monster
hurt my friends.

You ask me, but it's you
that must be brave.

I am brave!

But not that brave.

Then you will never grow up,
will you, Alice?

Until you conquer
the fears inside you,

you will never be
more than a child.

Home?

(ALICE SCREAMING)

(GROWLING)

Go away! Go away!
I'm not afraid of you!

You're a fake,
like the owl said!

You're a fake!

I've grown up now!

I don't believe in you!

I don't believe in you!

I don't believe in you!

(GROWLING)

(ECHOING)
I don't believe in you!

MOTHER: Alice!

Alice?

There you are, Alice.

I've been calling you
for some time, dear.

Where on Earth
have you been?

Oh, so many places, Mother.

I have so much to tell you.

But you really won't
believe half of it.

So I'll only tell you
a few things. Like,
one time, I had to sit...

I'm sorry, dear.
I'm afraid it's teatime now,

but I'd love to hear
all about it later.

Is it? Is it really?

Is it really what?

Teatime?

Yes. Yes, it is.

We're having
strawberry shortcake.

And your father
bought gingerbread cookies

and Aunt Dorothy's
insisted on opening

one of her precious jars
of raspberry preserves.

It sounds very lovely,
Mother.

But why were you calling me?

Ah. I almost forgot.

I wanted to tell you
that your father and I think

you're finally
quite grown up enough
to join us.

Would you like that,
Alice?

To join the grownups
at tea?

Yes, Mother.
I should like that very much.

Thank you. Thank you.

I truly have grown up, Mother.
You'll see. You truly will.

Well, you run along now
and get ready.

VOICES:
* Alice, can you hear us?

* Can you see us?

* Alice, tell us,
can you hear us? *

* Alice

* Ooh, ooh

* Alice

* Can you hear us, Alice?

* Can you see us, dear girl?

* Here in Wonderland

* We have known you

* Only for a dream or two

* But here

* We remember you

* Oh, Alice

* Don't forget us, Alice

* If you let us, we'll prove

* Dreams can all come true

* Someday

* through a mirror
you'll get a clearer view *

* Till then

* Alice, we love you *