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1
00:00:19,925 --> 00:00:21,468
Uh-huh.
2
00:00:27,301 --> 00:00:28,674
Come on.
3
00:00:28,675 --> 00:00:32,133
I can't look at that.
Take it away.
4
00:00:32,134 --> 00:00:34,467
Hey, I'm trying to work.
5
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:36,050
Sorry, what's your problem?
6
00:00:36,051 --> 00:00:38,799
No one wants to see this.
It's very disturbing.
7
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,467
Two people aren't
allowed to be happy?
8
00:00:40,468 --> 00:00:41,924
Well, you're allowed to be happy,
9
00:00:41,925 --> 00:00:43,758
but not in front of me,
so let's move it down.
10
00:00:43,759 --> 00:00:45,300
- Okay.
- All right.
11
00:00:45,301 --> 00:00:46,675
Good. Thank you.
12
00:00:49,634 --> 00:00:51,383
Uh, excuse me, Señor Larry.
13
00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:54,300
All the lights in here and in
the hallway, they're all fixed.
14
00:00:54,301 --> 00:00:56,467
You no have no more humming,
no more vibrating.
15
00:00:56,468 --> 00:00:58,716
- Everything is fixed.
- Oh! Cesar, thank you so much.
16
00:00:58,717 --> 00:01:00,841
That was driving me crazy,
that humming.
17
00:01:00,842 --> 00:01:03,050
Anything else you need
from me, you give me a call
18
00:01:03,051 --> 00:01:04,966
and I'll come here and
fix it right away, okay?
19
00:01:04,967 --> 00:01:06,343
Oh, hey, Cesar.
20
00:01:08,675 --> 00:01:09,557
That's for you.
21
00:01:09,558 --> 00:01:11,758
Oh. Oh, no, no, Señor Larry.
I cannot accept that money.
22
00:01:11,759 --> 00:01:13,467
This is my job.
This is what I do.
23
00:01:13,468 --> 00:01:15,550
It's a little bonus for you,
a little extra. Take it.
24
00:01:15,551 --> 00:01:18,633
Oh, it means...
it means a lot to me, Mr. Larry,
25
00:01:18,634 --> 00:01:20,175
but I cannot take this.
26
00:01:20,176 --> 00:01:22,050
I... I just don't
feel comfortable.
27
00:01:22,051 --> 00:01:24,258
This is what I do, sir.
28
00:01:24,259 --> 00:01:27,966
Oh, Cesar, this is...
this is unprecedented!
29
00:01:27,967 --> 00:01:31,175
This is rarer than a man turning
down sex, what you've just done.
30
00:01:31,176 --> 00:01:32,716
It just...
it doesn't happen!
31
00:01:32,717 --> 00:01:34,883
Okay, Señor Larry.
32
00:01:34,884 --> 00:01:36,716
I've never turned down
sex in my life.
33
00:01:36,717 --> 00:01:38,425
Me neither.
34
00:01:38,426 --> 00:01:42,216
Huh! Cesar, this will not
be forgotten anytime soon.
35
00:01:42,217 --> 00:01:44,593
- Have a nice day.
- Very commendable.
36
00:01:46,301 --> 00:01:48,091
So now, for some reason,
37
00:01:48,092 --> 00:01:50,550
Funkhouser's gotten back
together with this woman.
38
00:01:50,551 --> 00:01:52,716
- I don't know why. She hates my guts.
- Aww.
39
00:01:52,717 --> 00:01:54,883
But nevertheless,
he wants to go to brunch
40
00:01:54,884 --> 00:01:58,508
and see if we can all get along, you
know, so it's gonna be very awkward.
41
00:01:58,509 --> 00:02:00,091
Just because of the tap water?
42
00:02:00,092 --> 00:02:02,924
- Tap water, yes. Tap water.
- Wow.
43
00:02:02,925 --> 00:02:04,716
Hey, Eddie, breakfast!
44
00:02:04,717 --> 00:02:05,716
Wow, tap water.
45
00:02:05,717 --> 00:02:06,758
Here you go, sweetie.
46
00:02:06,759 --> 00:02:08,008
Wow, look at the
young man today!
47
00:02:08,009 --> 00:02:09,716
Very nice hoodie you got there.
48
00:02:09,717 --> 00:02:11,550
Mom, you're still
dating this guy?
49
00:02:11,551 --> 00:02:14,175
- Yes, honey...
- Yes, and she's enjoying it very much.
50
00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:16,091
- Take your toast.
- Where's the butter?
51
00:02:16,092 --> 00:02:18,508
It's right there, quite visible.
52
00:02:18,509 --> 00:02:21,216
I can't see the butter.
Do it again.
53
00:02:21,217 --> 00:02:23,467
He needs to see the butter.
54
00:02:23,468 --> 00:02:25,925
I'll eat this one and I'll
make you another one.
55
00:02:27,675 --> 00:02:30,674
- Are you two having sex?
- That's Mommy's business.
56
00:02:30,675 --> 00:02:32,966
It's not really your business,
but to tell you the truth,
57
00:02:32,967 --> 00:02:35,258
it's imminent, okay?
58
00:02:35,259 --> 00:02:36,551
Gross.
59
00:02:38,634 --> 00:02:41,008
Sorry, he's really been
having a tough time lately.
60
00:02:41,009 --> 00:02:43,091
I... I don't know how you let him
get away with that toast thing.
61
00:02:43,092 --> 00:02:45,716
This kid needs some structure in
his life. He needs some discipline!
62
00:02:45,717 --> 00:02:47,508
- I know, I know.
- You're not tough enough.
63
00:02:47,509 --> 00:02:50,175
I... I know. There's this
private school, and, uh...
64
00:02:50,176 --> 00:02:54,091
I've been thinking about sending him,
but it's really tough to get into, and...
65
00:02:54,092 --> 00:02:55,550
I wanted to ask you a question.
66
00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:57,841
Please say no if this
is at all inappropriate,
67
00:02:57,842 --> 00:03:01,175
but Susie happened to mention this
very same school, Pemberton Academy,
68
00:03:01,176 --> 00:03:02,633
where I'm trying to get him in.
69
00:03:02,634 --> 00:03:04,633
You had donated some
"Seinfeld" stuff there.
70
00:03:04,634 --> 00:03:07,175
My assistant takes care of
all that. I just, you know.
71
00:03:07,176 --> 00:03:09,207
Okay, I just didn't know
if you knew somebody, or...
72
00:03:09,208 --> 00:03:10,508
Nah, I really don't.
73
00:03:10,509 --> 00:03:13,091
- That's fine, that's fine.
- If I could help, I would, but I don't know.
74
00:03:13,092 --> 00:03:16,009
You know, I feel weird about sending
him to boarding school anyway.
75
00:03:18,051 --> 00:03:20,091
- Boarding school?
- Yeah.
76
00:03:20,092 --> 00:03:23,550
- How far away is it?
- It's about an hour and a half.
77
00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:26,508
I actually think it would be the best
for him, but it would be hard for me
78
00:03:26,509 --> 00:03:28,300
- just to be rattling around...
- I completely agree with you.
79
00:03:28,301 --> 00:03:30,133
I think it would be
a fantastic thing for him.
80
00:03:30,134 --> 00:03:32,758
- Do you, really?
- It's gotta be the... you know what?
81
00:03:32,759 --> 00:03:35,799
Get me a name, get me a number...
whatever I can do to help.
82
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:36,883
- No.
- Yes!
83
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,883
Give me some information,
done!
84
00:03:38,884 --> 00:03:41,008
That's really nice
of you, Larry.
85
00:03:41,009 --> 00:03:43,592
Thank you so much.
It's gonna be so good for him.
86
00:03:43,593 --> 00:03:48,717
Look, if I can send him an hour and a
half away, I'm... more than happy to.
87
00:03:51,509 --> 00:03:53,633
- If I got those glasses...
- Yeah?
88
00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:55,508
We'd be...
we'd be twins.
89
00:03:55,509 --> 00:03:57,550
That would be kind of hideous,
wouldn't it?
90
00:03:57,551 --> 00:04:00,008
Have you ever seen a couple
with the same glasses?
91
00:04:00,009 --> 00:04:02,425
By the way, when I say couple,
I'm not referring to us as a couple.
92
00:04:02,426 --> 00:04:05,342
- Yeah, excuse me. What are you... hold on.
- No, no, I'm not going there.
93
00:04:05,343 --> 00:04:08,508
We're... I... you have not
bought me the same glasses.
94
00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:11,841
We don't have it like
that just yet, my friend.
95
00:04:11,842 --> 00:04:13,050
- Hi, guys.
- Hi.
96
00:04:13,051 --> 00:04:14,175
Can I bring you some water
while you wait?
97
00:04:14,176 --> 00:04:15,799
Still or sparkling?
98
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,008
- Sparkling. Yeah.
- Yeah, sparkling.
99
00:04:18,009 --> 00:04:20,508
Ugh, boy, I can't tell you,
I'm so relieved.
100
00:04:20,509 --> 00:04:23,467
Thanks again for helping me out
with the boarding school thing.
101
00:04:23,468 --> 00:04:25,924
So, before I call the, um...
102
00:04:25,925 --> 00:04:28,383
- Pemberton.
- Pemberton, yes. Pemberton.
103
00:04:28,384 --> 00:04:32,716
Do they... do they know
about the, uh, Asperger's?
104
00:04:32,717 --> 00:04:34,924
Oh, yeah, mm-hmm.
Yeah, they're a great school.
105
00:04:34,925 --> 00:04:39,508
They're... they can... they're just equipped
to handle all kinds of special kids.
106
00:04:39,509 --> 00:04:42,050
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
107
00:04:42,051 --> 00:04:45,467
Has he been diagnosed by a doctor,
or is this your opinion?
108
00:04:45,468 --> 00:04:49,799
He's on the spectrum. Yeah.
109
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,592
How do you know?
110
00:04:51,593 --> 00:04:55,383
You can see in his behavior and what
people have said, and, you know...
111
00:04:55,384 --> 00:04:57,050
he's, you know...
112
00:04:57,051 --> 00:05:00,842
he's been diagnosed
on the... on the spectrum.
113
00:05:03,925 --> 00:05:05,050
Okay.
114
00:05:05,051 --> 00:05:06,967
Oh.
115
00:05:09,217 --> 00:05:11,175
- Hello?
- Señor Larry,
116
00:05:11,176 --> 00:05:13,008
it's Cesar from the office.
117
00:05:13,009 --> 00:05:14,425
- Who?
- Cesar!
118
00:05:14,426 --> 00:05:16,799
You gave me the tip
and I didn't take it?
119
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,674
Yeah?
120
00:05:18,675 --> 00:05:21,175
I'm here at the office building,
fixing a leak,
121
00:05:21,176 --> 00:05:23,258
and I was just wondering,
after I'm done,
122
00:05:23,259 --> 00:05:26,758
I could go to your office and watch
the Argentina and Mexico game.
123
00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:30,008
It's a very important game. It's for...
to qualify in the World Cup.
124
00:05:30,009 --> 00:05:32,841
Why... why... why do you have
to go... why my office?
125
00:05:32,842 --> 00:05:35,633
Because you got all
the channels, sir.
126
00:05:35,634 --> 00:05:38,966
- Yeah... yeah, okay.
- Gracias, Señor Larry!
127
00:05:38,967 --> 00:05:42,091
I will not forget this.
You are the man.
128
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:44,008
- Okay.
- Who's that?
129
00:05:44,009 --> 00:05:47,633
- This handyman in my office building...
- Uh-huh.
130
00:05:47,634 --> 00:05:50,841
...wants to go into my office
to watch a soccer game.
131
00:05:50,842 --> 00:05:52,758
I offered him a tip,
but he didn't take the tip,
132
00:05:52,759 --> 00:05:56,342
so I feel like I'm a little
obligated to let him watch the game.
133
00:05:56,343 --> 00:05:57,425
It's tricky.
134
00:05:57,426 --> 00:05:59,258
- Hello!
- Oh, hey!
135
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:00,467
Sorry we're late.
136
00:06:00,468 --> 00:06:01,508
- Hi, I'm Marilyn.
- LD.
137
00:06:01,509 --> 00:06:02,924
- Hi!
- Hi, nice to meet you.
138
00:06:02,925 --> 00:06:04,841
- Yes, hi.
- Hi. Marty Funkhouser.
139
00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:06,633
- Hi, great to meet you.
- Great to meet you!
140
00:06:06,634 --> 00:06:09,508
So, I... I just wanna say,
before we begin,
141
00:06:09,509 --> 00:06:13,799
I... I'd like to apologize
for what happened between us.
142
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:17,175
That is not a true
representation of who I am.
143
00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:19,091
- Let's start fresh.
- That means a lot to me. Okay.
144
00:06:19,092 --> 00:06:21,133
- Yes! Yes!
- Yes, let's do it.
145
00:06:21,134 --> 00:06:23,966
Some sparkling water
for the table?
146
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:27,758
No, no. We... no, we don't want that.
We want some tap water.
147
00:06:27,759 --> 00:06:30,008
- You don't want sparkling?
- No, get that out of here. Tap.
148
00:06:30,009 --> 00:06:31,966
- Well, it's unfiltered.
- Better.
149
00:06:31,967 --> 00:06:33,592
Water is water.
We're not water snobs.
150
00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:35,008
- Very good.
- We don't care.
151
00:06:35,009 --> 00:06:36,383
While you bring the tap,
152
00:06:36,384 --> 00:06:38,216
bring us the best
bottle of champagne
153
00:06:38,217 --> 00:06:39,841
you have in the house to drink.
154
00:06:39,842 --> 00:06:41,425
Okay?
155
00:06:41,426 --> 00:06:42,841
We're gonna live it up!
156
00:06:42,842 --> 00:06:45,716
Yeah, you know, sure.
157
00:06:45,717 --> 00:06:47,841
Thank you, Larry.
I really appreciate your apology.
158
00:06:47,842 --> 00:06:49,841
- Oh, yes.
- No, it means a lot to me.
159
00:06:49,842 --> 00:06:51,258
And some tap water for the table.
160
00:06:51,259 --> 00:06:52,924
Tap water for the table.
Look at this.
161
00:06:52,925 --> 00:06:55,384
Look at this beautiful tap water.
We got some here...
162
00:07:00,551 --> 00:07:02,425
- Ah, look at that.
- Mmm.
163
00:07:02,426 --> 00:07:03,925
Ah, it really looks good.
164
00:07:06,884 --> 00:07:08,592
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Oh, come on, buddy.
165
00:07:08,593 --> 00:07:10,091
- There's a line.
- There's a line.
166
00:07:10,092 --> 00:07:11,258
You can't just walk up here.
167
00:07:11,259 --> 00:07:13,133
Come on, man, you're being rude.
168
00:07:13,134 --> 00:07:15,716
- They're in line.
- You gotta get to the back, buddy.
169
00:07:15,717 --> 00:07:18,716
- I'm just getting some potatoes.
- I don't care.
170
00:07:18,717 --> 00:07:20,342
One... one minute!
171
00:07:20,343 --> 00:07:23,425
One minute! Just a minute!
172
00:07:23,426 --> 00:07:24,758
Are you getting seconds?
173
00:07:24,759 --> 00:07:26,383
Yes, sir.
174
00:07:26,384 --> 00:07:28,050
The man is getting seconds.
175
00:07:28,051 --> 00:07:30,008
- It doesn't matter.
- But that's not a rule.
176
00:07:30,009 --> 00:07:33,133
The man has already
waited on this line.
177
00:07:33,134 --> 00:07:36,216
- Larry, we're hungry.
- We're all hungry.
178
00:07:36,217 --> 00:07:37,383
I'm hungry, too!
179
00:07:37,384 --> 00:07:38,841
But to make him wait
180
00:07:38,842 --> 00:07:42,633
another 10 minutes for
a few measly potatoes?
181
00:07:42,634 --> 00:07:44,924
- Shame on you! Shame on all of you!
- Okay.
182
00:07:44,925 --> 00:07:47,425
That's not how we do things
here in America.
183
00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:51,467
We don't wait for seconds!
Never, never wait for seconds!
184
00:07:51,468 --> 00:07:53,924
It's fine, it's good. It's fine.
185
00:07:53,925 --> 00:07:57,258
Sir, I would be
proud to serve you.
186
00:07:57,259 --> 00:07:59,468
- What do you want?
- Potatoes.
187
00:08:01,551 --> 00:08:04,050
- Thank you. Thank you, sir.
- Sure, sure.
188
00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:06,674
You're welcome.
189
00:08:06,675 --> 00:08:09,758
- It's okay, really.
- I didn't mean to overreact like that.
190
00:08:09,759 --> 00:08:11,924
- Enjoy.
- Enjoy yourself.
191
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:13,426
Thank you.
Thanks.
192
00:08:14,593 --> 00:08:15,883
Ah!
193
00:08:15,884 --> 00:08:17,383
- Oh, I love that sound!
- All right!
194
00:08:17,384 --> 00:08:21,091
- You like that?
- I love that sound!
195
00:08:21,092 --> 00:08:24,008
I mean, the good thing here
is that if we want seconds,
196
00:08:24,009 --> 00:08:25,758
- we go right to the front.
- Straight to the front.
197
00:08:25,759 --> 00:08:27,092
- Right?
- Yep.
198
00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:33,550
Boy, oh, boy. Ha, that's
a lot of ketchup there.
199
00:08:33,551 --> 00:08:35,300
I like ketchup.
200
00:08:35,301 --> 00:08:38,508
Yeah, uh, it seems
a little excessive, no?
201
00:08:38,509 --> 00:08:40,300
- Here we go!
- Living it up!
202
00:08:40,301 --> 00:08:43,383
- Happiness, living it up! Okay?
- Cheers!
203
00:08:43,384 --> 00:08:45,383
I mean, you use too much ketchup,
you know what happens?
204
00:08:45,384 --> 00:08:47,883
They... they convert to packs,
to the little packets.
205
00:08:47,884 --> 00:08:50,633
Is there a ketchup shortage? Like,
"Oh, we're gonna run out of ketchup."
206
00:08:50,634 --> 00:08:52,633
I wasn't saying there's
a ketchup shortage,
207
00:08:52,634 --> 00:08:55,716
it's just that if everybody
uses as much ketchup as you do,
208
00:08:55,717 --> 00:08:57,050
they would stop buying it.
209
00:08:57,051 --> 00:08:59,467
As a matter of fact,
I think I need more ketchup.
210
00:08:59,468 --> 00:09:00,301
Mmm.
211
00:09:02,176 --> 00:09:04,008
- Wow.
- Hmm!
212
00:09:04,009 --> 00:09:05,799
Why are we talking about this?
213
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:08,467
There's no way she could finish
all that ketchup. Is there?
214
00:09:08,468 --> 00:09:09,967
Watch me!
215
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,175
Let's just change
the subject, okay?
216
00:09:14,176 --> 00:09:15,508
Potatoes are delicious.
217
00:09:15,509 --> 00:09:16,841
- Huh.
- Yeah.
218
00:09:16,842 --> 00:09:20,175
Oh, my God! Oh!
219
00:09:20,176 --> 00:09:22,133
- Oh, my God!
- Don't do that, don't do that.
220
00:09:22,134 --> 00:09:23,674
Can we get a wet towel, somebody?
221
00:09:23,675 --> 00:09:25,300
That's okay.
It's okay, it's okay.
222
00:09:25,301 --> 00:09:27,342
It's okay. Yeah, your
sweater covers it fine.
223
00:09:27,343 --> 00:09:29,841
You know, I... I think I want...
I want to go home.
224
00:09:29,842 --> 00:09:31,216
Oh, no!
225
00:09:31,217 --> 00:09:33,050
- It's just a really bad stain.
- Yeah, go.
226
00:09:33,051 --> 00:09:34,758
- No, Larry, it's not that bad.
- You got a bad stain.
227
00:09:34,759 --> 00:09:35,924
I'm gonna go home.
228
00:09:35,925 --> 00:09:37,425
I'm just feeling
very uncomfortable.
229
00:09:37,426 --> 00:09:39,342
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- Yeah, go.
230
00:09:39,343 --> 00:09:41,008
It's a...
it's a really bad stain.
231
00:09:41,009 --> 00:09:43,508
It's a "go home" stain,
you know what I mean?
232
00:09:43,509 --> 00:09:45,342
- It was the fork.
- I think it was the ketchup.
233
00:09:45,343 --> 00:09:47,674
- Let's not argue over this.
- I'm so sorry.
234
00:09:47,675 --> 00:09:50,508
It was lovely to meet you.
You seem lovely.
235
00:09:50,509 --> 00:09:52,592
- Yeah, take her home.
- It's such a shame.
236
00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:54,633
Nice job, once again.
237
00:09:54,634 --> 00:09:57,467
- One of those things.
- Gosh, another time, I guess.
238
00:09:57,468 --> 00:09:59,050
- Bye.
- Bye.
239
00:09:59,051 --> 00:10:01,425
Wow, I feel so bad.
240
00:10:01,426 --> 00:10:03,175
That was a disgusting display.
241
00:10:03,176 --> 00:10:04,633
You couldn't let the ketchup go.
242
00:10:04,634 --> 00:10:06,758
- Couldn't let it go.
- Oh, boy.
243
00:10:06,759 --> 00:10:09,633
Guess what.
244
00:10:09,634 --> 00:10:11,966
Who's paying
for the expensive champagne?
245
00:10:11,967 --> 00:10:13,884
- Oh.
- Yeah.
246
00:10:24,509 --> 00:10:26,383
I want to thank you
247
00:10:26,384 --> 00:10:29,050
for defending me
in front of the mob.
248
00:10:29,051 --> 00:10:32,050
Oh, oh. Yes, of course.
249
00:10:32,051 --> 00:10:35,216
That was, uh, terrible.
You had already waited.
250
00:10:35,217 --> 00:10:37,008
What was the point
of going back again?
251
00:10:37,009 --> 00:10:38,924
You would've lost
your appetite.
252
00:10:38,925 --> 00:10:40,925
I agree with you, Mr. David.
253
00:10:43,967 --> 00:10:45,259
How do you know my name?
254
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,592
I know everything about you.
255
00:10:49,593 --> 00:10:51,674
I was sitting there
having my brunch,
256
00:10:51,675 --> 00:10:54,425
and I saw you.
257
00:10:54,426 --> 00:10:58,133
And I was thinking,
as a devout Muslim,
258
00:10:58,134 --> 00:11:00,383
I should kill this man.
259
00:11:00,384 --> 00:11:01,716
Fatwa.
260
00:11:01,717 --> 00:11:04,050
And then you defended me.
261
00:11:04,051 --> 00:11:06,426
I thought to myself...
262
00:11:08,343 --> 00:11:10,758
I cannot kill this man.
263
00:11:10,759 --> 00:11:12,883
This man doesn't
deserve to die.
264
00:11:12,884 --> 00:11:15,716
No. No, I don't. I don't!
265
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:19,633
I do have some friends
in high positions.
266
00:11:19,634 --> 00:11:22,716
I think I need to bring
to their attention
267
00:11:22,717 --> 00:11:26,091
that you are not the man
they think you are.
268
00:11:26,092 --> 00:11:28,592
Anything you want to know,
I'll give you full access.
269
00:11:28,593 --> 00:11:30,216
I'm an open book.
270
00:11:30,217 --> 00:11:32,008
You will be hearing from me.
271
00:11:32,009 --> 00:11:34,258
What... what is your name?
272
00:11:34,259 --> 00:11:38,468
My name is not important.
273
00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:43,383
- Hey!
- Oh, hey. Um...
274
00:11:43,384 --> 00:11:46,467
- You okay?
- Yeah, I was just talking to this guy.
275
00:11:46,468 --> 00:11:48,633
What guy?
276
00:11:48,634 --> 00:11:50,008
Oh.
277
00:11:50,009 --> 00:11:52,467
Let's go.
278
00:11:52,468 --> 00:11:53,468
Huh.
279
00:11:56,634 --> 00:11:58,342
That was a lot of fun.
280
00:11:58,343 --> 00:11:59,924
That horse, he was so close!
281
00:11:59,925 --> 00:12:01,799
- He should've won!
- I know, I know, I know.
282
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,050
I know. I was...
I was excited for you.
283
00:12:04,051 --> 00:12:07,758
By the way, this is... what are
we on? 10 hours now together?
284
00:12:07,759 --> 00:12:09,592
It's been incredibly fun.
285
00:12:09,593 --> 00:12:11,758
And I can't believe
286
00:12:11,759 --> 00:12:14,008
you made that appointment
at... at Pemberton.
287
00:12:14,009 --> 00:12:15,467
I'm so grateful.
288
00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:18,342
Believe me, once I get through
with those Pemberton people,
289
00:12:18,343 --> 00:12:20,674
they're gonna beg this kid
to go to that school.
290
00:12:20,675 --> 00:12:22,716
Do... do you wanna come in?
291
00:12:22,717 --> 00:12:24,841
- Do I wanna come in?
- Mmm.
292
00:12:24,842 --> 00:12:28,383
Because I'm feeling
pretty grateful.
293
00:12:28,384 --> 00:12:32,008
Are you saying that, uh...
294
00:12:32,009 --> 00:12:35,133
gratitude sex is in the offing?
295
00:12:35,134 --> 00:12:37,300
If you're okay with
gratitude sex, I mean...
296
00:12:37,301 --> 00:12:39,300
You know what,
I've never had gratitude sex,
297
00:12:39,301 --> 00:12:42,300
mainly because I've never done anything
that someone could be grateful for.
298
00:12:42,301 --> 00:12:46,258
But people tell me that
gratitude sex is the ultimate.
299
00:12:46,259 --> 00:12:49,050
It's hard to explain.
I'd rather just show you.
300
00:12:49,051 --> 00:12:50,258
- Sure, yeah.
- You know?
301
00:12:52,051 --> 00:12:55,091
Hey, honey. Uh, I thought
Nancy put you to bed.
302
00:12:55,092 --> 00:12:56,883
She did.
303
00:12:56,884 --> 00:13:00,050
Well, it's time for bed.
It's past your bedtime.
304
00:13:00,051 --> 00:13:02,508
- It's past his bedtime.
- Hey, now.
305
00:13:02,509 --> 00:13:04,425
Go to your room, okay?
306
00:13:04,426 --> 00:13:07,925
I'll hang out in my room,
but I'm not going to bed.
307
00:13:10,051 --> 00:13:11,841
I've never seen an old man
in sneakers before.
308
00:13:11,842 --> 00:13:13,674
Okay, that's...
go to your room.
309
00:13:13,675 --> 00:13:15,216
That's so stupid.
310
00:13:15,217 --> 00:13:17,799
- Eddie! Go.
- That's a good one.
311
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:20,300
You know, it's... he's on
the spectrum. I'm sorry.
312
00:13:20,301 --> 00:13:21,883
Ah, the spectrum.
313
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:24,592
He's on the spectrum. Yeah.
314
00:13:27,259 --> 00:13:29,258
Guess that's that.
315
00:13:29,259 --> 00:13:31,467
He won't listen to me, but...
316
00:13:31,468 --> 00:13:35,425
maybe you can...
you can get him to bed.
317
00:13:35,426 --> 00:13:36,884
The offer still stands.
318
00:13:56,176 --> 00:13:58,508
All right,
you little prick, okay?
319
00:13:58,509 --> 00:14:01,425
I got some gratitude sex coming to me,
and you're not gonna ruin it.
320
00:14:01,426 --> 00:14:02,841
You got it?
321
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:03,924
Now get under those covers.
322
00:14:03,925 --> 00:14:05,383
You're gonna go to sleep,
323
00:14:05,384 --> 00:14:07,092
and I'm gonna have sex
with your mother.
324
00:14:14,426 --> 00:14:15,799
Hello.
325
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:18,799
You're looking at a man
with an "A" on his shirt...
326
00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:19,924
for "apology."
327
00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:21,550
- Is that so?
- Yes.
328
00:14:21,551 --> 00:14:23,216
I'm sorry for the other day.
329
00:14:23,217 --> 00:14:24,799
There was nothing I could do.
330
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:26,758
We had to leave, so I left.
331
00:14:26,759 --> 00:14:29,175
Quite an expensive
bottle of champagne
332
00:14:29,176 --> 00:14:30,425
I wound up paying for.
333
00:14:30,426 --> 00:14:31,758
We ordered the champagne
334
00:14:31,759 --> 00:14:33,633
because you wanted
to live it up.
335
00:14:33,634 --> 00:14:36,133
You said, "Let's live it up."
I would never live it up.
336
00:14:36,134 --> 00:14:37,633
I live it down,
I don't live it up.
337
00:14:37,634 --> 00:14:39,550
Okay, maybe I said,
"Let's live it up."
338
00:14:39,551 --> 00:14:41,633
- You did.
- I wanted to have a good time, that's all!
339
00:14:41,634 --> 00:14:43,883
So anyway,
so you're here to what?
340
00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:46,008
Apologize. I'm sorry!
341
00:14:46,009 --> 00:14:47,799
For leaving me with the bill?
342
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:51,008
No, I'm sorry for leaving early.
343
00:14:51,009 --> 00:14:52,550
That's what I'm sorry about.
344
00:14:52,551 --> 00:14:54,467
I don't mind you leaving early,
345
00:14:54,468 --> 00:14:58,841
but I think the proper apology
would be to say, "I'm sorry.
346
00:14:58,842 --> 00:15:01,008
Here's $250 for the champagne."
347
00:15:01,009 --> 00:15:03,508
- Okay?
- That's a cash apology.
348
00:15:03,509 --> 00:15:05,133
My apology is from the heart.
349
00:15:05,134 --> 00:15:07,008
That's something
that means something.
350
00:15:07,009 --> 00:15:09,008
Why do you come to the office to
apologize without offering the money?
351
00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:10,300
Because I felt bad!
352
00:15:10,301 --> 00:15:12,425
If you feel bad,
you offer the money!
353
00:15:12,426 --> 00:15:14,342
- No, you don't!
- You don't understand feeling bad!
354
00:15:14,343 --> 00:15:16,633
Feeling bad is feeling in
the heart, not in the wallet!
355
00:15:16,634 --> 00:15:19,674
- No, feeling bad is making it up!
- It is not!
356
00:15:19,675 --> 00:15:24,050
Well, to come here and apologize
without taking your wallet out
357
00:15:24,051 --> 00:15:27,300
and offering, who knows
if I would even accept it?
358
00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:29,674
There's not even an offer!
359
00:15:29,675 --> 00:15:31,216
Let's go to lunch, talk it over.
360
00:15:31,217 --> 00:15:32,924
- Okay. Yeah.
- Okay?
361
00:15:32,925 --> 00:15:35,508
I gotta take a quick piss.
362
00:15:35,509 --> 00:15:37,799
- Mr. Larry.
- Ah, Cesar.
363
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:41,050
I want to thank you for offering
me to watch the game on your TV.
364
00:15:41,051 --> 00:15:42,883
Ah, well, you're very welcome.
365
00:15:42,884 --> 00:15:45,633
- But unfortunately, I couldn't make it.
- What?
366
00:15:45,634 --> 00:15:48,883
Yeah, my wife, she wanted me to do
a bunch of chores in the house,
367
00:15:48,884 --> 00:15:50,425
so I... I couldn't come.
368
00:15:50,426 --> 00:15:53,050
I'm, uh... well, I'm sorry
to hear that. Too bad.
369
00:15:53,051 --> 00:15:58,008
But, uh, you... you're a member
of a nice country club, sí?
370
00:15:58,009 --> 00:15:58,809
Yeah?
371
00:15:58,810 --> 00:16:01,091
Can I bring my family there
for a nice little swim?
372
00:16:01,092 --> 00:16:03,050
Little Cesar's like Aquaman.
373
00:16:03,051 --> 00:16:07,008
No. No, you can't... you can't
bring your family there, no!
374
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:09,758
- But... but why not?
- It's not the way it works. No!
375
00:16:09,759 --> 00:16:11,758
I don't understand
your lack of generosity.
376
00:16:11,759 --> 00:16:13,467
Lack of generosity?
What are you talking about?
377
00:16:13,468 --> 00:16:15,550
I gave you a tip,
which you turned down.
378
00:16:15,551 --> 00:16:17,342
I did not take it,
so you owe me a favor.
379
00:16:17,343 --> 00:16:20,758
I already repaid you a favor
that I didn't even owe you!
380
00:16:20,759 --> 00:16:24,258
The whole point of the tip
is for you to be indebted to me.
381
00:16:24,259 --> 00:16:26,175
Now you've...
you've reversed it!
382
00:16:26,176 --> 00:16:27,300
Now I'm indebted to you.
383
00:16:27,301 --> 00:16:28,966
You flipped it!
You flipped the tip!
384
00:16:28,967 --> 00:16:30,301
I promised Little Cesar.
385
00:16:32,009 --> 00:16:34,050
All right.
This is the last one.
386
00:16:34,051 --> 00:16:35,924
Okay? This is it.
387
00:16:35,925 --> 00:16:38,425
And next time I give you
a tip, you take it, okay?
388
00:16:38,426 --> 00:16:41,091
- Okay, Mr. Larry.
- But the country club is out.
389
00:16:41,092 --> 00:16:42,508
You can't swim there.
They're racist.
390
00:16:42,509 --> 00:16:43,758
They're not gonna
let you in there.
391
00:16:43,759 --> 00:16:45,592
Why are you a member
of a racist club?
392
00:16:45,593 --> 00:16:47,924
They're all racists.
That's the way they operate.
393
00:16:47,925 --> 00:16:49,425
How about your pool?
394
00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:51,799
Oh, I would,
but the heater in my house
395
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:54,966
got all screwed up and nothing's
working now, and the pool's not working.
396
00:16:54,967 --> 00:16:57,176
I bet you have friends
with nice pools.
397
00:16:59,009 --> 00:17:01,342
Hey...
398
00:17:01,343 --> 00:17:02,924
your pool working?
399
00:17:02,925 --> 00:17:03,966
Yeah.
400
00:17:03,967 --> 00:17:06,799
Can Cesar and his family
use your pool?
401
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,175
- Who's Cesar?
- Yo.
402
00:17:09,176 --> 00:17:10,674
Nice to meet you, Cesar.
403
00:17:10,675 --> 00:17:12,175
Nice to meet you, sir.
404
00:17:12,176 --> 00:17:13,592
Can he use my pool?
405
00:17:13,593 --> 00:17:16,008
It's hot out, they have
no place to swim, and...
406
00:17:16,009 --> 00:17:18,633
At this time of year,
407
00:17:18,634 --> 00:17:20,425
we might have family coming over.
408
00:17:20,426 --> 00:17:23,342
- You know, I never know...
- I'll tell you what.
409
00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:26,008
We call it even, the $250.
410
00:17:26,009 --> 00:17:29,300
- So you're never gonna mention it again?
- Never again.
411
00:17:29,301 --> 00:17:31,508
- When do you want to come over?
- On Saturday.
412
00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:33,467
What time is good for you?
8:00 a.m.?
413
00:17:33,468 --> 00:17:36,008
- Uh, let's make it 8:30.
- Thank you, sir.
414
00:17:36,009 --> 00:17:37,508
- Hey, do me a favor.
- Yes, sir.
415
00:17:37,509 --> 00:17:40,508
No diving, and try to stay
in the shallow end, okay?
416
00:17:40,509 --> 00:17:42,966
- That's his number.
- Oh, thank you, Mr. Larry.
417
00:17:42,967 --> 00:17:45,841
Little Cesar is
gonna be so happy.
418
00:17:45,842 --> 00:17:47,301
Gracias.
419
00:17:50,051 --> 00:17:52,674
Larry David paid you
for your services?
420
00:17:52,675 --> 00:17:54,258
Hell, yeah, he did.
421
00:17:54,259 --> 00:17:56,550
But all he did was use me
to get in the carpool lane
422
00:17:56,551 --> 00:17:58,674
so he can get to
the Dodger game.
423
00:17:58,675 --> 00:18:03,342
So you're saying that, uh, your
encounter was not of sexual nature.
424
00:18:03,343 --> 00:18:05,216
Hell, no!
425
00:18:05,217 --> 00:18:07,176
He could've had all this!
426
00:18:10,009 --> 00:18:11,966
I still don't understand.
427
00:18:11,967 --> 00:18:15,383
How can your father be a kamikaze
pilot when he's still alive?
428
00:18:15,384 --> 00:18:19,050
He grazed the ship.
429
00:18:19,051 --> 00:18:21,009
Grazed, but not fatal.
430
00:18:22,925 --> 00:18:24,008
No.
431
00:18:24,009 --> 00:18:26,883
Then Larry was right.
432
00:18:26,884 --> 00:18:29,216
So, Larry David went
on a date with you
433
00:18:29,217 --> 00:18:30,716
and carried you upstairs?
434
00:18:30,717 --> 00:18:32,883
Yeah. I didn't want him to.
435
00:18:32,884 --> 00:18:35,467
- Oh, he insisted?
- Yes.
436
00:18:35,468 --> 00:18:38,550
You know, I wasn't the only girl
in a wheelchair he was dating.
437
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:42,383
So, he went out with two
different women with disability?
438
00:18:42,384 --> 00:18:44,216
At least.
439
00:18:44,217 --> 00:18:45,759
Commendable.
440
00:18:47,717 --> 00:18:49,425
I'd see Larry occasionally.
441
00:18:49,426 --> 00:18:53,008
I guess you would say
I had some issues with him.
442
00:18:53,009 --> 00:18:55,758
But wasn't the real issue
443
00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:59,426
the... big vagina?
444
00:19:00,634 --> 00:19:02,924
Yes. It's big.
445
00:19:02,925 --> 00:19:05,050
Big enough to steal
446
00:19:05,051 --> 00:19:08,593
a Mickey Mantle
autographed baseball?
447
00:19:10,009 --> 00:19:11,592
- Yes.
- Hmm.
448
00:19:11,593 --> 00:19:16,050
He took a word in one of my
rhymes and changed that shit.
449
00:19:16,051 --> 00:19:18,758
And it opened up
lyrically for me.
450
00:19:18,759 --> 00:19:20,091
It was amazing, man.
451
00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:23,924
He also saved me from
a marriage to a lesbian.
452
00:19:23,925 --> 00:19:25,716
So, yeah...
453
00:19:25,717 --> 00:19:28,383
that motherfucker's
my Caucasian.
454
00:19:28,384 --> 00:19:30,342
- Caucasian?
- Write that shit down.
455
00:19:30,343 --> 00:19:32,674
- He is your Caucasian, yes.
- He is my Caucasian.
456
00:19:32,675 --> 00:19:34,258
And a motherfucker.
457
00:19:34,259 --> 00:19:36,258
So, we're on the ski lift
and it's shkiyat hachamah.
458
00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:37,841
And according to Jewish law,
459
00:19:37,842 --> 00:19:40,716
I'm not allowed to be with
a man alone after sundown,
460
00:19:40,717 --> 00:19:42,133
so I asked him to jump.
461
00:19:42,134 --> 00:19:44,342
And he refused,
so I had to jump.
462
00:19:44,343 --> 00:19:47,924
So he refused to follow the
tenets of Jewish orthodoxy.
463
00:19:47,925 --> 00:19:49,799
Oh, absolutely.
464
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:51,176
Big time.
465
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:54,758
Please continue.
466
00:19:54,759 --> 00:19:59,008
So, he comes upstairs and
he accuses me of clomping.
467
00:19:59,009 --> 00:20:00,716
And I explained to him,
I have these shoes,
468
00:20:00,717 --> 00:20:03,633
these heavy shoes that I wear
because my feet get cramped.
469
00:20:03,634 --> 00:20:05,467
And they make noise.
470
00:20:05,468 --> 00:20:07,008
I invite him in.
471
00:20:07,009 --> 00:20:10,050
I offer him a soda.
472
00:20:10,051 --> 00:20:12,799
He took it, and it exploded,
and it got all over him,
473
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:15,133
and he got... upset.
474
00:20:15,134 --> 00:20:17,799
- Now it's... now it's...
- Mr. Fox...
475
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,675
did you clomp on purpose?
476
00:20:21,551 --> 00:20:22,924
A little bit.
477
00:20:22,925 --> 00:20:26,800
And did you embellish
the shaking of the soda?
478
00:20:29,134 --> 00:20:30,883
Yeah.
479
00:20:30,884 --> 00:20:32,674
Thank you.
480
00:20:32,675 --> 00:20:36,216
May I offer you
some refreshment?
481
00:20:36,217 --> 00:20:38,508
No, thank you.
482
00:20:38,509 --> 00:20:40,175
I pass, sir.
483
00:20:40,176 --> 00:20:41,842
Pussy.
484
00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:55,216
Larry, thank you for all
of the "Seinfeld" scripts
485
00:20:55,217 --> 00:20:57,883
and memorabilia that you've
donated to our fundraisers.
486
00:20:57,884 --> 00:20:59,175
- It's really...
- Yes.
487
00:20:59,176 --> 00:21:00,425
It's made a lot of money
for the school.
488
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:01,799
So happy to do it.
489
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,342
And thank for allowing me
to come in here today
490
00:21:04,343 --> 00:21:09,300
and talk to you, uh, about
this young man who I adore.
491
00:21:09,301 --> 00:21:10,799
- Yes, Eddie.
- Uh, Eddie, yes.
492
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,216
- Right.
- Eddie, yes.
493
00:21:12,217 --> 00:21:14,133
You know what?
494
00:21:14,134 --> 00:21:17,716
I just feel like I'm ignoring
you all the way on that side.
495
00:21:17,717 --> 00:21:21,674
I should be here because sometimes
women, they're a little, uh,
496
00:21:21,675 --> 00:21:24,883
ultra-sensitive about being
ignored at these meetings.
497
00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:26,799
"Oh, oh, you don't talk
to the woman," you know.
498
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,716
- Oh, no.
- That's not me. That's not me.
499
00:21:28,717 --> 00:21:31,508
Wherever you want to
sit is fine. Please.
500
00:21:31,509 --> 00:21:34,342
Okay, thank you. Thank you.
501
00:21:34,343 --> 00:21:37,175
I actually would prefer to sit
over there, but, you know.
502
00:21:37,176 --> 00:21:38,883
- Well, please!
- Feel free, Larry.
503
00:21:38,884 --> 00:21:40,924
Okay, all right, okay.
Thank you.
504
00:21:40,925 --> 00:21:42,716
- All right, so!
- Eddie.
505
00:21:42,717 --> 00:21:45,508
You know, I... I love this kid
like... like my own son.
506
00:21:45,509 --> 00:21:48,841
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, you know, like a nephew.
507
00:21:48,842 --> 00:21:50,258
Actually, more like
a foster child
508
00:21:50,259 --> 00:21:52,716
who comes to your house,
and all of a sudden, you go,
509
00:21:52,717 --> 00:21:55,425
"What the hell did I do?
I got... what am I, nuts?"
510
00:21:55,426 --> 00:21:58,425
But, no, no, you grow...
you grow to love them.
511
00:21:58,426 --> 00:21:59,758
That's how I feel now.
512
00:21:59,759 --> 00:22:01,258
It's... uh, so...
513
00:22:01,259 --> 00:22:06,091
Bridget is Eddie's mother,
and she's your girlfriend?
514
00:22:06,092 --> 00:22:07,592
Girlfriend...
515
00:22:07,593 --> 00:22:11,716
I don't know, but she does
have tampons in my house.
516
00:22:11,717 --> 00:22:13,758
Okay, Mr. David, we just want
517
00:22:13,759 --> 00:22:16,425
to get to the nature of your
relationship because...
518
00:22:16,426 --> 00:22:18,424
We were happy to do a
favor for you, Larry.
519
00:22:18,425 --> 00:22:19,425
Sure.
520
00:22:19,426 --> 00:22:20,026
But...
521
00:22:20,027 --> 00:22:22,758
We just wanna make sure
that it's just not a fling.
522
00:22:22,759 --> 00:22:26,883
We're just interested in where
you see this relationship going.
523
00:22:26,884 --> 00:22:28,924
Yeah, the relationship going.
I don't know.
524
00:22:28,925 --> 00:22:30,425
You know,
they're kind of tough.
525
00:22:30,426 --> 00:22:33,133
You get involved with somebody,
and all of a sudden,
526
00:22:33,134 --> 00:22:35,425
you got to check in,
you got to report in,
527
00:22:35,426 --> 00:22:37,716
you got to text them,
make those phone calls.
528
00:22:37,717 --> 00:22:40,342
You go away for a weekend with
your friends on a trip to Vegas,
529
00:22:40,343 --> 00:22:41,841
you come back, she says,
"Did you had fun?"
530
00:22:41,842 --> 00:22:43,758
You got to lie, say,
"No, no, I didn't have fun.
531
00:22:43,759 --> 00:22:46,091
"No, no, it wasn't fun at all.
Worst trip I ever made in my life."
532
00:22:46,092 --> 00:22:49,175
Then she talks to one of your friends
and they say they had a fantastic time.
533
00:22:49,176 --> 00:22:51,841
She comes back to me, she says,
"Your friends said you had a great time."
534
00:22:51,842 --> 00:22:55,343
And you go, "No, no, they had a
great time. I had a lousy time."
535
00:22:56,675 --> 00:22:58,133
Uh...
536
00:22:58,134 --> 00:23:02,674
in general, how are you with
commitments, relationships?
537
00:23:02,675 --> 00:23:05,050
I can't sleep with the
same bed with anybody.
538
00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:07,008
It's, ugh, a horrible
night's sleep.
539
00:23:07,009 --> 00:23:10,175
You can't... you...
I'm off in a corner like this.
540
00:23:10,176 --> 00:23:12,415
You know, 'cause I don't want
another body touching mine
541
00:23:12,416 --> 00:23:13,716
when I'm trying to fall asleep.
542
00:23:13,717 --> 00:23:16,716
And you can't turn this way because
then you get... you got face-to-face.
543
00:23:16,717 --> 00:23:18,467
You don't wanna do that
in the middle of the night.
544
00:23:18,468 --> 00:23:21,508
Well, where... where do you see
the relationship going?
545
00:23:21,509 --> 00:23:23,633
I see it going,
hopefully, one day,
546
00:23:23,634 --> 00:23:25,674
to the point where I'll let
her sleep in the guestroom.
547
00:23:25,675 --> 00:23:27,841
I'm... I'm shooting
for that.
548
00:23:27,842 --> 00:23:31,008
Uh, we just want to make sure that
Eddie is coming for the right reasons.
549
00:23:31,009 --> 00:23:32,592
Yes. Oh, well, yes.
550
00:23:32,593 --> 00:23:36,258
And that you're in a long-term,
committed relationship.
551
00:23:36,259 --> 00:23:39,091
Well, I can...
I can give you nine months.
552
00:23:39,092 --> 00:23:41,008
Um, that's...
553
00:23:41,009 --> 00:23:44,674
Well, no, I can give you...
I can give you nine months.
554
00:23:44,675 --> 00:23:46,216
Nine happy months.
555
00:23:46,217 --> 00:23:49,383
Then I can give you years and
years of... of being miserable.
556
00:23:49,384 --> 00:23:50,966
But we'll be together!
557
00:23:50,967 --> 00:23:52,425
Well, that's actually
558
00:23:52,426 --> 00:23:54,383
really what we're
looking to hear, Larry,
559
00:23:54,384 --> 00:23:55,592
is that you are
gonna be together
560
00:23:55,593 --> 00:23:57,425
for an extended amount of time.
561
00:23:57,426 --> 00:23:59,467
- Absolutely.
- At least while Eddie is here at school.
562
00:23:59,468 --> 00:24:02,716
Unless she gets sick or something,
in which case I'll...
563
00:24:02,717 --> 00:24:04,550
I'll leave her quickly.
You could understand that.
564
00:24:04,551 --> 00:24:06,467
I'm not gonna visit people
in the hospital.
565
00:24:06,468 --> 00:24:08,383
I'm... I'm not crazy, you know.
566
00:24:08,384 --> 00:24:09,883
Otherwise...
567
00:24:09,884 --> 00:24:12,550
I adore this woman.
568
00:24:12,551 --> 00:24:13,841
Excuse me.
569
00:24:13,842 --> 00:24:15,674
Hello.
570
00:24:15,675 --> 00:24:18,258
- LD, it's the Funk-Man.
- Hey, I can't talk right now.
571
00:24:18,259 --> 00:24:21,550
All right, I'll make it quick.
I can't host Cesar's pool party.
572
00:24:21,551 --> 00:24:24,133
- What? Why?
- Well, Marilyn wants us
573
00:24:24,134 --> 00:24:26,550
to go to Catalina,
so I've got to do it.
574
00:24:26,551 --> 00:24:30,175
I'm very disappointed.
And I'm sure Cesar will be, too.
575
00:24:30,176 --> 00:24:31,257
And Little Cesar.
576
00:24:31,258 --> 00:24:34,258
I don't know Little Cesar and
I don't really know Cesar.
577
00:24:34,259 --> 00:24:36,592
But, uh, we still on
for brunch Sunday?
578
00:24:36,593 --> 00:24:37,674
Uh, I guess so.
579
00:24:37,675 --> 00:24:38,924
Okay, I'll see you then.
580
00:24:38,925 --> 00:24:41,091
All right.
Goodbye.
581
00:24:41,092 --> 00:24:45,592
So, uh, Larry, again, we're very happy
you came in, talked to us about Eddie.
582
00:24:45,593 --> 00:24:48,592
I think things, um...
I think look pretty good.
583
00:24:48,593 --> 00:24:49,925
We're very, uh...
584
00:24:51,468 --> 00:24:53,425
Could my handyman and his family
585
00:24:53,426 --> 00:24:55,593
use your pool on Saturday?
586
00:25:09,468 --> 00:25:11,342
- Hi.
- Hey.
587
00:25:11,343 --> 00:25:12,799
- Same table.
- Is it?
588
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,966
- Champagne.
- Oh.
589
00:25:14,967 --> 00:25:17,008
This time we'll drink it.
590
00:25:17,009 --> 00:25:18,716
What's the matter?
591
00:25:18,717 --> 00:25:22,467
I just got off the phone
with the Pemberton Academy.
592
00:25:22,468 --> 00:25:23,799
What'd they say?
593
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:25,008
Eddie didn't get in.
594
00:25:25,009 --> 00:25:26,467
- He didn't get in?
- No.
595
00:25:26,468 --> 00:25:27,883
Why?
596
00:25:27,884 --> 00:25:29,300
Because of the condition
597
00:25:29,301 --> 00:25:31,716
that your handyman
and his family
598
00:25:31,717 --> 00:25:33,924
left the Pemberton
Academy pool.
599
00:25:33,925 --> 00:25:35,467
What? What's the condition?
600
00:25:35,468 --> 00:25:37,008
Befouled.
601
00:25:37,009 --> 00:25:39,258
Little Cesar befouled the pool?
602
00:25:39,259 --> 00:25:40,300
Why would you
send them there?
603
00:25:40,301 --> 00:25:41,966
Of all the pools in California?
604
00:25:41,967 --> 00:25:43,966
I don't know, 'cause Little
Cesar wanted to use a pool!
605
00:25:43,967 --> 00:25:45,633
I couldn't... I couldn't
refuse Little Cesar.
606
00:25:45,634 --> 00:25:47,258
Why do they have
to use a pool at all?
607
00:25:47,259 --> 00:25:49,216
Cesar flipped the tip
on me and, you know,
608
00:25:49,217 --> 00:25:50,966
he wouldn't take the tip,
so I was obligated to!
609
00:25:50,967 --> 00:25:52,175
- Hi!
- Hello!
610
00:25:52,176 --> 00:25:54,133
More obligated than to... hi!
611
00:25:54,134 --> 00:25:56,216
- Hi.
- How are you?
612
00:25:56,217 --> 00:25:57,883
What a day!
613
00:25:57,884 --> 00:25:59,674
We just came back from Catalina.
614
00:25:59,675 --> 00:26:02,425
- Oh, heard that's beautiful.
- What a cruise!
615
00:26:02,426 --> 00:26:04,300
- Dolphins!
- Great boat, beautiful.
616
00:26:04,301 --> 00:26:05,841
- Magnificent.
- I think I got too much sun.
617
00:26:05,842 --> 00:26:07,216
How are you guys doing?
618
00:26:07,217 --> 00:26:11,258
Gosh, I am so sorry,
but I think I have to go.
619
00:26:11,259 --> 00:26:12,459
Oh, no.
620
00:26:12,460 --> 00:26:14,633
We just had a "go home" argument,
and I have to go.
621
00:26:14,634 --> 00:26:17,758
Oh, no, no, no. Don't do that!
No, don't do that!
622
00:26:17,759 --> 00:26:20,467
I just feel so upset. I'm not
gonna be able to rally for today.
623
00:26:20,468 --> 00:26:22,008
- Yeah.
- Thank you. You understand.
624
00:26:22,009 --> 00:26:23,841
- Thanks for trying.
- Oh, no. I'm sorry, no.
625
00:26:23,842 --> 00:26:26,175
I'll see you, maybe,
again, but who can say?
626
00:26:26,176 --> 00:26:29,674
- I might not.
- No, I'm so... ah! Ah, I'm sorry!
627
00:26:29,675 --> 00:26:31,383
Enjoy the champagne.
628
00:26:31,384 --> 00:26:34,092
- I'm sorry! Ah!
- Here we go.
629
00:26:42,593 --> 00:26:44,176
Oh!
630
00:26:50,551 --> 00:26:53,508
Mr. David, get in.
631
00:26:53,509 --> 00:26:56,342
Get... get in the car?
What, where... where are we going?
632
00:26:56,343 --> 00:26:58,883
I haven't even had...
had brunch yet.
633
00:26:58,884 --> 00:27:00,342
Get in.
634
00:27:00,343 --> 00:27:01,717
Okay.
635
00:27:03,217 --> 00:27:05,258
Oh, my God.
636
00:27:05,259 --> 00:27:06,176
Go.
637
00:27:09,717 --> 00:27:12,633
There was no reason for me
to get to the back of the line.
638
00:27:12,634 --> 00:27:14,966
As I said, I had already waited,
639
00:27:14,967 --> 00:27:21,175
and those brunch buffet lines
are interminable.
640
00:27:21,176 --> 00:27:23,383
Yes, I am familiar
641
00:27:23,384 --> 00:27:25,759
because they cook the
eggs while you wait.
642
00:27:27,176 --> 00:27:31,091
And all I wanted...
just a little bit more home fries.
643
00:27:31,092 --> 00:27:32,674
Ah, yes, home fries.
644
00:27:32,675 --> 00:27:34,758
A nice compliment to the eggs.
645
00:27:34,759 --> 00:27:36,425
With ketchup?
646
00:27:36,426 --> 00:27:38,176
Yes, of course.
647
00:27:41,842 --> 00:27:45,175
So it seems wrong to wait
15 minutes just for that.
648
00:27:45,176 --> 00:27:47,467
Yes, of course.
Why even get them?
649
00:27:47,468 --> 00:27:50,716
Exactly. So I took a chance.
650
00:27:50,717 --> 00:27:52,091
But the outcry
651
00:27:52,092 --> 00:27:55,425
was unlike anything
you could ever imagine.
652
00:27:55,426 --> 00:27:57,467
You are perceived as a cutter.
653
00:27:57,468 --> 00:28:00,216
There's nothing Americans
hate more than a cutter.
654
00:28:00,217 --> 00:28:01,467
- He is right.
- It's true.
655
00:28:01,468 --> 00:28:05,550
You're right, Mufti.
I was humiliated.
656
00:28:05,551 --> 00:28:07,716
But this man...
657
00:28:07,717 --> 00:28:09,799
he rose to my defense.
658
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:12,425
He said I have every right
659
00:28:12,426 --> 00:28:15,216
to get seconds without waiting.
660
00:28:15,217 --> 00:28:17,924
He was forceful, passionate,
661
00:28:17,925 --> 00:28:20,383
and courageous.
662
00:28:20,384 --> 00:28:23,633
When the American
blood sugar gets low,
663
00:28:23,634 --> 00:28:25,592
they turn into animals.
664
00:28:25,593 --> 00:28:27,091
It's very intimidating.
665
00:28:27,092 --> 00:28:28,758
- True.
- I have seen it.
666
00:28:28,759 --> 00:28:31,008
Not this man.
667
00:28:31,009 --> 00:28:32,633
It was something to see.
668
00:28:32,634 --> 00:28:36,216
And that's why
I come before you
669
00:28:36,217 --> 00:28:40,550
to beg you to reevaluate his case.
670
00:28:40,551 --> 00:28:44,966
I have read the report of your
investigation with great interest.
671
00:28:44,967 --> 00:28:48,008
However, there are
many things in his past
672
00:28:48,009 --> 00:28:50,924
which contradict his behavior
in the restaurant.
673
00:28:50,925 --> 00:28:56,592
For example, this business about
not giving out candy on Halloween.
674
00:28:56,593 --> 00:28:58,841
Surely that cannot be justified.
675
00:28:58,842 --> 00:29:02,799
With all due respect,
he did give out candies.
676
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:06,175
But the girls in question,
they were teenagers.
677
00:29:06,176 --> 00:29:08,008
Much too old to be tricking.
678
00:29:08,009 --> 00:29:10,508
Tricking or treating?
679
00:29:10,509 --> 00:29:12,758
This is all so very confusing.
680
00:29:12,759 --> 00:29:14,592
Well, you play tricks
681
00:29:14,593 --> 00:29:17,592
if you don't get the treat,
is my understanding.
682
00:29:17,593 --> 00:29:20,258
Yes, I believe that is correct.
683
00:29:20,259 --> 00:29:21,966
That is confusing.
684
00:29:21,967 --> 00:29:23,508
But the girls were 16.
685
00:29:23,509 --> 00:29:26,716
You don't trick when you're 16.
686
00:29:26,717 --> 00:29:30,216
That's not tricking,
that's stealing.
687
00:29:30,217 --> 00:29:32,175
By denying them candy,
688
00:29:32,176 --> 00:29:34,716
he was teaching them a lesson.
689
00:29:34,717 --> 00:29:36,674
Yes.
690
00:29:36,675 --> 00:29:39,383
I see your point.
691
00:29:39,384 --> 00:29:41,924
Ah, very good. Very good.
692
00:29:41,925 --> 00:29:44,550
Pass the plates, gentlemen.
693
00:29:44,551 --> 00:29:47,716
- Falafel. Yes, falafel.
- Another falafel over here.
694
00:29:47,717 --> 00:29:49,050
- Kabob.
- Kabob for me.
695
00:29:49,051 --> 00:29:52,342
- Onion rings. Yes.
- Ah, french fries.
696
00:29:52,343 --> 00:29:56,716
But what about his values?
697
00:29:56,717 --> 00:29:58,716
His lust knows no bounds.
698
00:29:58,717 --> 00:30:02,342
He will have sexual congress
with anyone, anytime.
699
00:30:02,343 --> 00:30:04,924
Including a Palestinian.
700
00:30:04,925 --> 00:30:07,383
What? Is this true?
701
00:30:07,384 --> 00:30:09,175
This is so?
702
00:30:09,176 --> 00:30:10,966
You know this for a fact?
703
00:30:10,967 --> 00:30:12,467
Twice.
704
00:30:12,468 --> 00:30:13,716
Twice!
705
00:30:13,717 --> 00:30:15,175
A Muslim woman?
706
00:30:15,176 --> 00:30:16,258
Yes, Mufti,
707
00:30:16,259 --> 00:30:17,551
she is a Muslim.
708
00:30:19,426 --> 00:30:21,716
Very interesting.
709
00:30:21,717 --> 00:30:24,425
This is new information.
710
00:30:24,426 --> 00:30:27,300
I will personally
contact the ayatollah
711
00:30:27,301 --> 00:30:30,134
and let him know
what we have learned.
712
00:30:31,593 --> 00:30:34,091
I can say without reservation
713
00:30:34,092 --> 00:30:37,383
that he will rescind the fatwa.
714
00:30:37,384 --> 00:30:41,924
- You are free to go.
- Thank you, "Moofti"! "Muff-ti"!
715
00:30:41,925 --> 00:30:43,799
Thank you all,
moo-mooftis and muff-tis.
716
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:45,300
Is it "muff-ti"
or "moofti"?
717
00:30:45,301 --> 00:30:46,467
"Moofti."
718
00:30:46,468 --> 00:30:48,175
- "Moovti."
- "Moovti."
719
00:30:48,176 --> 00:30:49,550
Thank you, "Moovtis."
720
00:30:49,551 --> 00:30:52,091
Thank you so...
but what about the musical?
721
00:30:52,092 --> 00:30:53,924
Um, the musical "Fatwa!"?
722
00:30:53,925 --> 00:30:56,925
I will say this
about the musical...
723
00:30:58,426 --> 00:31:00,841
If you can get
Lin-Manuel Miranda,
724
00:31:00,842 --> 00:31:02,467
you know,
from "Hamilton"...
725
00:31:02,468 --> 00:31:05,216
Yes! I love "Hamilton"!
726
00:31:05,217 --> 00:31:08,050
If you can get
Lin-Manuel Miranda to star,
727
00:31:08,051 --> 00:31:09,592
you can proceed
with the musical.
728
00:31:09,593 --> 00:31:10,883
How am I gonna get Lin-Manuel?
729
00:31:10,884 --> 00:31:12,674
He... he's got
his own stuff he does.
730
00:31:12,675 --> 00:31:14,133
He's not gonna be in this.
731
00:31:14,134 --> 00:31:15,966
What are you doing
with the ketchup?
732
00:31:15,967 --> 00:31:17,550
You used up all the ketchup!
733
00:31:17,551 --> 00:31:20,508
- I like ketchup.
- Show some restraint.
734
00:31:20,509 --> 00:31:22,841
You're never going
to eat all that.
735
00:31:22,842 --> 00:31:25,799
Is there a shortage of ketchup
that I was not aware of?
736
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:29,966
This is why I have been advocating
for packets, but no one will listen!
737
00:31:29,967 --> 00:31:34,008
- Now, that's a good idea.
- I cannot eat onion rings without ketchup.
738
00:31:34,009 --> 00:31:35,924
The whole snack is ruined!
739
00:31:35,925 --> 00:31:38,550
- Wait, don't go!
- Please, no!
740
00:31:38,551 --> 00:31:40,258
How am I gonna get Lin-Manuel?
741
00:31:40,259 --> 00:31:43,133
You're being a baby.
742
00:31:43,134 --> 00:31:44,551
Thank you.
743
00:31:56,634 --> 00:31:58,008
Huh. Okay.
744
00:31:58,009 --> 00:32:01,008
- Here you are.
- All right. Very nice.
745
00:32:01,009 --> 00:32:03,091
- All right.
- Thank you so much for everything.
746
00:32:03,092 --> 00:32:05,342
I really appreciate it.
Let me, uh... before you go.
747
00:32:05,343 --> 00:32:06,966
No, I can't take that.
748
00:32:06,967 --> 00:32:08,342
- Oh, no.
- Please, put it back.
749
00:32:08,343 --> 00:32:09,841
- I insist.
- No, I cannot take this.
750
00:32:09,842 --> 00:32:11,716
- What? Come on, please.
- I cannot take it.
751
00:32:11,717 --> 00:32:13,716
- Take the money. What?
- No. You are going to embar...
752
00:32:13,717 --> 00:32:15,217
- You are offending me.
- You're offending me!
753
00:32:17,217 --> 00:32:18,966
- I'm not taking...
- Look. Yeah, take it.
754
00:32:18,967 --> 00:32:21,383
- I don't want it. Yeah.
- No! Take it back!
755
00:32:21,384 --> 00:32:22,716
I don't want it!
756
00:32:22,717 --> 00:32:24,883
I can't take that from you, sir!
757
00:32:24,884 --> 00:32:26,467
I will not take this tip, okay?
758
00:32:26,468 --> 00:32:27,592
Take the money!
759
00:32:27,593 --> 00:32:29,509
You ain't gonna flip a tip on me!57317
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