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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,925 --> 00:00:21,468 Uh-huh. 2 00:00:27,301 --> 00:00:28,674 Come on. 3 00:00:28,675 --> 00:00:32,133 I can't look at that. Take it away. 4 00:00:32,134 --> 00:00:34,467 Hey, I'm trying to work. 5 00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:36,050 Sorry, what's your problem? 6 00:00:36,051 --> 00:00:38,799 No one wants to see this. It's very disturbing. 7 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,467 Two people aren't allowed to be happy? 8 00:00:40,468 --> 00:00:41,924 Well, you're allowed to be happy, 9 00:00:41,925 --> 00:00:43,758 but not in front of me, so let's move it down. 10 00:00:43,759 --> 00:00:45,300 - Okay. - All right. 11 00:00:45,301 --> 00:00:46,675 Good. Thank you. 12 00:00:49,634 --> 00:00:51,383 Uh, excuse me, Señor Larry. 13 00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:54,300 All the lights in here and in the hallway, they're all fixed. 14 00:00:54,301 --> 00:00:56,467 You no have no more humming, no more vibrating. 15 00:00:56,468 --> 00:00:58,716 - Everything is fixed. - Oh! Cesar, thank you so much. 16 00:00:58,717 --> 00:01:00,841 That was driving me crazy, that humming. 17 00:01:00,842 --> 00:01:03,050 Anything else you need from me, you give me a call 18 00:01:03,051 --> 00:01:04,966 and I'll come here and fix it right away, okay? 19 00:01:04,967 --> 00:01:06,343 Oh, hey, Cesar. 20 00:01:08,675 --> 00:01:09,557 That's for you. 21 00:01:09,558 --> 00:01:11,758 Oh. Oh, no, no, Señor Larry. I cannot accept that money. 22 00:01:11,759 --> 00:01:13,467 This is my job. This is what I do. 23 00:01:13,468 --> 00:01:15,550 It's a little bonus for you, a little extra. Take it. 24 00:01:15,551 --> 00:01:18,633 Oh, it means... it means a lot to me, Mr. Larry, 25 00:01:18,634 --> 00:01:20,175 but I cannot take this. 26 00:01:20,176 --> 00:01:22,050 I... I just don't feel comfortable. 27 00:01:22,051 --> 00:01:24,258 This is what I do, sir. 28 00:01:24,259 --> 00:01:27,966 Oh, Cesar, this is... this is unprecedented! 29 00:01:27,967 --> 00:01:31,175 This is rarer than a man turning down sex, what you've just done. 30 00:01:31,176 --> 00:01:32,716 It just... it doesn't happen! 31 00:01:32,717 --> 00:01:34,883 Okay, Señor Larry. 32 00:01:34,884 --> 00:01:36,716 I've never turned down sex in my life. 33 00:01:36,717 --> 00:01:38,425 Me neither. 34 00:01:38,426 --> 00:01:42,216 Huh! Cesar, this will not be forgotten anytime soon. 35 00:01:42,217 --> 00:01:44,593 - Have a nice day. - Very commendable. 36 00:01:46,301 --> 00:01:48,091 So now, for some reason, 37 00:01:48,092 --> 00:01:50,550 Funkhouser's gotten back together with this woman. 38 00:01:50,551 --> 00:01:52,716 - I don't know why. She hates my guts. - Aww. 39 00:01:52,717 --> 00:01:54,883 But nevertheless, he wants to go to brunch 40 00:01:54,884 --> 00:01:58,508 and see if we can all get along, you know, so it's gonna be very awkward. 41 00:01:58,509 --> 00:02:00,091 Just because of the tap water? 42 00:02:00,092 --> 00:02:02,924 - Tap water, yes. Tap water. - Wow. 43 00:02:02,925 --> 00:02:04,716 Hey, Eddie, breakfast! 44 00:02:04,717 --> 00:02:05,716 Wow, tap water. 45 00:02:05,717 --> 00:02:06,758 Here you go, sweetie. 46 00:02:06,759 --> 00:02:08,008 Wow, look at the young man today! 47 00:02:08,009 --> 00:02:09,716 Very nice hoodie you got there. 48 00:02:09,717 --> 00:02:11,550 Mom, you're still dating this guy? 49 00:02:11,551 --> 00:02:14,175 - Yes, honey... - Yes, and she's enjoying it very much. 50 00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:16,091 - Take your toast. - Where's the butter? 51 00:02:16,092 --> 00:02:18,508 It's right there, quite visible. 52 00:02:18,509 --> 00:02:21,216 I can't see the butter. Do it again. 53 00:02:21,217 --> 00:02:23,467 He needs to see the butter. 54 00:02:23,468 --> 00:02:25,925 I'll eat this one and I'll make you another one. 55 00:02:27,675 --> 00:02:30,674 - Are you two having sex? - That's Mommy's business. 56 00:02:30,675 --> 00:02:32,966 It's not really your business, but to tell you the truth, 57 00:02:32,967 --> 00:02:35,258 it's imminent, okay? 58 00:02:35,259 --> 00:02:36,551 Gross. 59 00:02:38,634 --> 00:02:41,008 Sorry, he's really been having a tough time lately. 60 00:02:41,009 --> 00:02:43,091 I... I don't know how you let him get away with that toast thing. 61 00:02:43,092 --> 00:02:45,716 This kid needs some structure in his life. He needs some discipline! 62 00:02:45,717 --> 00:02:47,508 - I know, I know. - You're not tough enough. 63 00:02:47,509 --> 00:02:50,175 I... I know. There's this private school, and, uh... 64 00:02:50,176 --> 00:02:54,091 I've been thinking about sending him, but it's really tough to get into, and... 65 00:02:54,092 --> 00:02:55,550 I wanted to ask you a question. 66 00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:57,841 Please say no if this is at all inappropriate, 67 00:02:57,842 --> 00:03:01,175 but Susie happened to mention this very same school, Pemberton Academy, 68 00:03:01,176 --> 00:03:02,633 where I'm trying to get him in. 69 00:03:02,634 --> 00:03:04,633 You had donated some "Seinfeld" stuff there. 70 00:03:04,634 --> 00:03:07,175 My assistant takes care of all that. I just, you know. 71 00:03:07,176 --> 00:03:09,207 Okay, I just didn't know if you knew somebody, or... 72 00:03:09,208 --> 00:03:10,508 Nah, I really don't. 73 00:03:10,509 --> 00:03:13,091 - That's fine, that's fine. - If I could help, I would, but I don't know. 74 00:03:13,092 --> 00:03:16,009 You know, I feel weird about sending him to boarding school anyway. 75 00:03:18,051 --> 00:03:20,091 - Boarding school? - Yeah. 76 00:03:20,092 --> 00:03:23,550 - How far away is it? - It's about an hour and a half. 77 00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:26,508 I actually think it would be the best for him, but it would be hard for me 78 00:03:26,509 --> 00:03:28,300 - just to be rattling around... - I completely agree with you. 79 00:03:28,301 --> 00:03:30,133 I think it would be a fantastic thing for him. 80 00:03:30,134 --> 00:03:32,758 - Do you, really? - It's gotta be the... you know what? 81 00:03:32,759 --> 00:03:35,799 Get me a name, get me a number... whatever I can do to help. 82 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:36,883 - No. - Yes! 83 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,883 Give me some information, done! 84 00:03:38,884 --> 00:03:41,008 That's really nice of you, Larry. 85 00:03:41,009 --> 00:03:43,592 Thank you so much. It's gonna be so good for him. 86 00:03:43,593 --> 00:03:48,717 Look, if I can send him an hour and a half away, I'm... more than happy to. 87 00:03:51,509 --> 00:03:53,633 - If I got those glasses... - Yeah? 88 00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:55,508 We'd be... we'd be twins. 89 00:03:55,509 --> 00:03:57,550 That would be kind of hideous, wouldn't it? 90 00:03:57,551 --> 00:04:00,008 Have you ever seen a couple with the same glasses? 91 00:04:00,009 --> 00:04:02,425 By the way, when I say couple, I'm not referring to us as a couple. 92 00:04:02,426 --> 00:04:05,342 - Yeah, excuse me. What are you... hold on. - No, no, I'm not going there. 93 00:04:05,343 --> 00:04:08,508 We're... I... you have not bought me the same glasses. 94 00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:11,841 We don't have it like that just yet, my friend. 95 00:04:11,842 --> 00:04:13,050 - Hi, guys. - Hi. 96 00:04:13,051 --> 00:04:14,175 Can I bring you some water while you wait? 97 00:04:14,176 --> 00:04:15,799 Still or sparkling? 98 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,008 - Sparkling. Yeah. - Yeah, sparkling. 99 00:04:18,009 --> 00:04:20,508 Ugh, boy, I can't tell you, I'm so relieved. 100 00:04:20,509 --> 00:04:23,467 Thanks again for helping me out with the boarding school thing. 101 00:04:23,468 --> 00:04:25,924 So, before I call the, um... 102 00:04:25,925 --> 00:04:28,383 - Pemberton. - Pemberton, yes. Pemberton. 103 00:04:28,384 --> 00:04:32,716 Do they... do they know about the, uh, Asperger's? 104 00:04:32,717 --> 00:04:34,924 Oh, yeah, mm-hmm. Yeah, they're a great school. 105 00:04:34,925 --> 00:04:39,508 They're... they can... they're just equipped to handle all kinds of special kids. 106 00:04:39,509 --> 00:04:42,050 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 107 00:04:42,051 --> 00:04:45,467 Has he been diagnosed by a doctor, or is this your opinion? 108 00:04:45,468 --> 00:04:49,799 He's on the spectrum. Yeah. 109 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,592 How do you know? 110 00:04:51,593 --> 00:04:55,383 You can see in his behavior and what people have said, and, you know... 111 00:04:55,384 --> 00:04:57,050 he's, you know... 112 00:04:57,051 --> 00:05:00,842 he's been diagnosed on the... on the spectrum. 113 00:05:03,925 --> 00:05:05,050 Okay. 114 00:05:05,051 --> 00:05:06,967 Oh. 115 00:05:09,217 --> 00:05:11,175 - Hello? - Señor Larry, 116 00:05:11,176 --> 00:05:13,008 it's Cesar from the office. 117 00:05:13,009 --> 00:05:14,425 - Who? - Cesar! 118 00:05:14,426 --> 00:05:16,799 You gave me the tip and I didn't take it? 119 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,674 Yeah? 120 00:05:18,675 --> 00:05:21,175 I'm here at the office building, fixing a leak, 121 00:05:21,176 --> 00:05:23,258 and I was just wondering, after I'm done, 122 00:05:23,259 --> 00:05:26,758 I could go to your office and watch the Argentina and Mexico game. 123 00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:30,008 It's a very important game. It's for... to qualify in the World Cup. 124 00:05:30,009 --> 00:05:32,841 Why... why... why do you have to go... why my office? 125 00:05:32,842 --> 00:05:35,633 Because you got all the channels, sir. 126 00:05:35,634 --> 00:05:38,966 - Yeah... yeah, okay. - Gracias, Señor Larry! 127 00:05:38,967 --> 00:05:42,091 I will not forget this. You are the man. 128 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:44,008 - Okay. - Who's that? 129 00:05:44,009 --> 00:05:47,633 - This handyman in my office building... - Uh-huh. 130 00:05:47,634 --> 00:05:50,841 ...wants to go into my office to watch a soccer game. 131 00:05:50,842 --> 00:05:52,758 I offered him a tip, but he didn't take the tip, 132 00:05:52,759 --> 00:05:56,342 so I feel like I'm a little obligated to let him watch the game. 133 00:05:56,343 --> 00:05:57,425 It's tricky. 134 00:05:57,426 --> 00:05:59,258 - Hello! - Oh, hey! 135 00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:00,467 Sorry we're late. 136 00:06:00,468 --> 00:06:01,508 - Hi, I'm Marilyn. - LD. 137 00:06:01,509 --> 00:06:02,924 - Hi! - Hi, nice to meet you. 138 00:06:02,925 --> 00:06:04,841 - Yes, hi. - Hi. Marty Funkhouser. 139 00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:06,633 - Hi, great to meet you. - Great to meet you! 140 00:06:06,634 --> 00:06:09,508 So, I... I just wanna say, before we begin, 141 00:06:09,509 --> 00:06:13,799 I... I'd like to apologize for what happened between us. 142 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:17,175 That is not a true representation of who I am. 143 00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:19,091 - Let's start fresh. - That means a lot to me. Okay. 144 00:06:19,092 --> 00:06:21,133 - Yes! Yes! - Yes, let's do it. 145 00:06:21,134 --> 00:06:23,966 Some sparkling water for the table? 146 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:27,758 No, no. We... no, we don't want that. We want some tap water. 147 00:06:27,759 --> 00:06:30,008 - You don't want sparkling? - No, get that out of here. Tap. 148 00:06:30,009 --> 00:06:31,966 - Well, it's unfiltered. - Better. 149 00:06:31,967 --> 00:06:33,592 Water is water. We're not water snobs. 150 00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:35,008 - Very good. - We don't care. 151 00:06:35,009 --> 00:06:36,383 While you bring the tap, 152 00:06:36,384 --> 00:06:38,216 bring us the best bottle of champagne 153 00:06:38,217 --> 00:06:39,841 you have in the house to drink. 154 00:06:39,842 --> 00:06:41,425 Okay? 155 00:06:41,426 --> 00:06:42,841 We're gonna live it up! 156 00:06:42,842 --> 00:06:45,716 Yeah, you know, sure. 157 00:06:45,717 --> 00:06:47,841 Thank you, Larry. I really appreciate your apology. 158 00:06:47,842 --> 00:06:49,841 - Oh, yes. - No, it means a lot to me. 159 00:06:49,842 --> 00:06:51,258 And some tap water for the table. 160 00:06:51,259 --> 00:06:52,924 Tap water for the table. Look at this. 161 00:06:52,925 --> 00:06:55,384 Look at this beautiful tap water. We got some here... 162 00:07:00,551 --> 00:07:02,425 - Ah, look at that. - Mmm. 163 00:07:02,426 --> 00:07:03,925 Ah, it really looks good. 164 00:07:06,884 --> 00:07:08,592 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. - Oh, come on, buddy. 165 00:07:08,593 --> 00:07:10,091 - There's a line. - There's a line. 166 00:07:10,092 --> 00:07:11,258 You can't just walk up here. 167 00:07:11,259 --> 00:07:13,133 Come on, man, you're being rude. 168 00:07:13,134 --> 00:07:15,716 - They're in line. - You gotta get to the back, buddy. 169 00:07:15,717 --> 00:07:18,716 - I'm just getting some potatoes. - I don't care. 170 00:07:18,717 --> 00:07:20,342 One... one minute! 171 00:07:20,343 --> 00:07:23,425 One minute! Just a minute! 172 00:07:23,426 --> 00:07:24,758 Are you getting seconds? 173 00:07:24,759 --> 00:07:26,383 Yes, sir. 174 00:07:26,384 --> 00:07:28,050 The man is getting seconds. 175 00:07:28,051 --> 00:07:30,008 - It doesn't matter. - But that's not a rule. 176 00:07:30,009 --> 00:07:33,133 The man has already waited on this line. 177 00:07:33,134 --> 00:07:36,216 - Larry, we're hungry. - We're all hungry. 178 00:07:36,217 --> 00:07:37,383 I'm hungry, too! 179 00:07:37,384 --> 00:07:38,841 But to make him wait 180 00:07:38,842 --> 00:07:42,633 another 10 minutes for a few measly potatoes? 181 00:07:42,634 --> 00:07:44,924 - Shame on you! Shame on all of you! - Okay. 182 00:07:44,925 --> 00:07:47,425 That's not how we do things here in America. 183 00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:51,467 We don't wait for seconds! Never, never wait for seconds! 184 00:07:51,468 --> 00:07:53,924 It's fine, it's good. It's fine. 185 00:07:53,925 --> 00:07:57,258 Sir, I would be proud to serve you. 186 00:07:57,259 --> 00:07:59,468 - What do you want? - Potatoes. 187 00:08:01,551 --> 00:08:04,050 - Thank you. Thank you, sir. - Sure, sure. 188 00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:06,674 You're welcome. 189 00:08:06,675 --> 00:08:09,758 - It's okay, really. - I didn't mean to overreact like that. 190 00:08:09,759 --> 00:08:11,924 - Enjoy. - Enjoy yourself. 191 00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:13,426 Thank you. Thanks. 192 00:08:14,593 --> 00:08:15,883 Ah! 193 00:08:15,884 --> 00:08:17,383 - Oh, I love that sound! - All right! 194 00:08:17,384 --> 00:08:21,091 - You like that? - I love that sound! 195 00:08:21,092 --> 00:08:24,008 I mean, the good thing here is that if we want seconds, 196 00:08:24,009 --> 00:08:25,758 - we go right to the front. - Straight to the front. 197 00:08:25,759 --> 00:08:27,092 - Right? - Yep. 198 00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:33,550 Boy, oh, boy. Ha, that's a lot of ketchup there. 199 00:08:33,551 --> 00:08:35,300 I like ketchup. 200 00:08:35,301 --> 00:08:38,508 Yeah, uh, it seems a little excessive, no? 201 00:08:38,509 --> 00:08:40,300 - Here we go! - Living it up! 202 00:08:40,301 --> 00:08:43,383 - Happiness, living it up! Okay? - Cheers! 203 00:08:43,384 --> 00:08:45,383 I mean, you use too much ketchup, you know what happens? 204 00:08:45,384 --> 00:08:47,883 They... they convert to packs, to the little packets. 205 00:08:47,884 --> 00:08:50,633 Is there a ketchup shortage? Like, "Oh, we're gonna run out of ketchup." 206 00:08:50,634 --> 00:08:52,633 I wasn't saying there's a ketchup shortage, 207 00:08:52,634 --> 00:08:55,716 it's just that if everybody uses as much ketchup as you do, 208 00:08:55,717 --> 00:08:57,050 they would stop buying it. 209 00:08:57,051 --> 00:08:59,467 As a matter of fact, I think I need more ketchup. 210 00:08:59,468 --> 00:09:00,301 Mmm. 211 00:09:02,176 --> 00:09:04,008 - Wow. - Hmm! 212 00:09:04,009 --> 00:09:05,799 Why are we talking about this? 213 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:08,467 There's no way she could finish all that ketchup. Is there? 214 00:09:08,468 --> 00:09:09,967 Watch me! 215 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,175 Let's just change the subject, okay? 216 00:09:14,176 --> 00:09:15,508 Potatoes are delicious. 217 00:09:15,509 --> 00:09:16,841 - Huh. - Yeah. 218 00:09:16,842 --> 00:09:20,175 Oh, my God! Oh! 219 00:09:20,176 --> 00:09:22,133 - Oh, my God! - Don't do that, don't do that. 220 00:09:22,134 --> 00:09:23,674 Can we get a wet towel, somebody? 221 00:09:23,675 --> 00:09:25,300 That's okay. It's okay, it's okay. 222 00:09:25,301 --> 00:09:27,342 It's okay. Yeah, your sweater covers it fine. 223 00:09:27,343 --> 00:09:29,841 You know, I... I think I want... I want to go home. 224 00:09:29,842 --> 00:09:31,216 Oh, no! 225 00:09:31,217 --> 00:09:33,050 - It's just a really bad stain. - Yeah, go. 226 00:09:33,051 --> 00:09:34,758 - No, Larry, it's not that bad. - You got a bad stain. 227 00:09:34,759 --> 00:09:35,924 I'm gonna go home. 228 00:09:35,925 --> 00:09:37,425 I'm just feeling very uncomfortable. 229 00:09:37,426 --> 00:09:39,342 - Oh, I'm so sorry. - Yeah, go. 230 00:09:39,343 --> 00:09:41,008 It's a... it's a really bad stain. 231 00:09:41,009 --> 00:09:43,508 It's a "go home" stain, you know what I mean? 232 00:09:43,509 --> 00:09:45,342 - It was the fork. - I think it was the ketchup. 233 00:09:45,343 --> 00:09:47,674 - Let's not argue over this. - I'm so sorry. 234 00:09:47,675 --> 00:09:50,508 It was lovely to meet you. You seem lovely. 235 00:09:50,509 --> 00:09:52,592 - Yeah, take her home. - It's such a shame. 236 00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:54,633 Nice job, once again. 237 00:09:54,634 --> 00:09:57,467 - One of those things. - Gosh, another time, I guess. 238 00:09:57,468 --> 00:09:59,050 - Bye. - Bye. 239 00:09:59,051 --> 00:10:01,425 Wow, I feel so bad. 240 00:10:01,426 --> 00:10:03,175 That was a disgusting display. 241 00:10:03,176 --> 00:10:04,633 You couldn't let the ketchup go. 242 00:10:04,634 --> 00:10:06,758 - Couldn't let it go. - Oh, boy. 243 00:10:06,759 --> 00:10:09,633 Guess what. 244 00:10:09,634 --> 00:10:11,966 Who's paying for the expensive champagne? 245 00:10:11,967 --> 00:10:13,884 - Oh. - Yeah. 246 00:10:24,509 --> 00:10:26,383 I want to thank you 247 00:10:26,384 --> 00:10:29,050 for defending me in front of the mob. 248 00:10:29,051 --> 00:10:32,050 Oh, oh. Yes, of course. 249 00:10:32,051 --> 00:10:35,216 That was, uh, terrible. You had already waited. 250 00:10:35,217 --> 00:10:37,008 What was the point of going back again? 251 00:10:37,009 --> 00:10:38,924 You would've lost your appetite. 252 00:10:38,925 --> 00:10:40,925 I agree with you, Mr. David. 253 00:10:43,967 --> 00:10:45,259 How do you know my name? 254 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,592 I know everything about you. 255 00:10:49,593 --> 00:10:51,674 I was sitting there having my brunch, 256 00:10:51,675 --> 00:10:54,425 and I saw you. 257 00:10:54,426 --> 00:10:58,133 And I was thinking, as a devout Muslim, 258 00:10:58,134 --> 00:11:00,383 I should kill this man. 259 00:11:00,384 --> 00:11:01,716 Fatwa. 260 00:11:01,717 --> 00:11:04,050 And then you defended me. 261 00:11:04,051 --> 00:11:06,426 I thought to myself... 262 00:11:08,343 --> 00:11:10,758 I cannot kill this man. 263 00:11:10,759 --> 00:11:12,883 This man doesn't deserve to die. 264 00:11:12,884 --> 00:11:15,716 No. No, I don't. I don't! 265 00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:19,633 I do have some friends in high positions. 266 00:11:19,634 --> 00:11:22,716 I think I need to bring to their attention 267 00:11:22,717 --> 00:11:26,091 that you are not the man they think you are. 268 00:11:26,092 --> 00:11:28,592 Anything you want to know, I'll give you full access. 269 00:11:28,593 --> 00:11:30,216 I'm an open book. 270 00:11:30,217 --> 00:11:32,008 You will be hearing from me. 271 00:11:32,009 --> 00:11:34,258 What... what is your name? 272 00:11:34,259 --> 00:11:38,468 My name is not important. 273 00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:43,383 - Hey! - Oh, hey. Um... 274 00:11:43,384 --> 00:11:46,467 - You okay? - Yeah, I was just talking to this guy. 275 00:11:46,468 --> 00:11:48,633 What guy? 276 00:11:48,634 --> 00:11:50,008 Oh. 277 00:11:50,009 --> 00:11:52,467 Let's go. 278 00:11:52,468 --> 00:11:53,468 Huh. 279 00:11:56,634 --> 00:11:58,342 That was a lot of fun. 280 00:11:58,343 --> 00:11:59,924 That horse, he was so close! 281 00:11:59,925 --> 00:12:01,799 - He should've won! - I know, I know, I know. 282 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,050 I know. I was... I was excited for you. 283 00:12:04,051 --> 00:12:07,758 By the way, this is... what are we on? 10 hours now together? 284 00:12:07,759 --> 00:12:09,592 It's been incredibly fun. 285 00:12:09,593 --> 00:12:11,758 And I can't believe 286 00:12:11,759 --> 00:12:14,008 you made that appointment at... at Pemberton. 287 00:12:14,009 --> 00:12:15,467 I'm so grateful. 288 00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:18,342 Believe me, once I get through with those Pemberton people, 289 00:12:18,343 --> 00:12:20,674 they're gonna beg this kid to go to that school. 290 00:12:20,675 --> 00:12:22,716 Do... do you wanna come in? 291 00:12:22,717 --> 00:12:24,841 - Do I wanna come in? - Mmm. 292 00:12:24,842 --> 00:12:28,383 Because I'm feeling pretty grateful. 293 00:12:28,384 --> 00:12:32,008 Are you saying that, uh... 294 00:12:32,009 --> 00:12:35,133 gratitude sex is in the offing? 295 00:12:35,134 --> 00:12:37,300 If you're okay with gratitude sex, I mean... 296 00:12:37,301 --> 00:12:39,300 You know what, I've never had gratitude sex, 297 00:12:39,301 --> 00:12:42,300 mainly because I've never done anything that someone could be grateful for. 298 00:12:42,301 --> 00:12:46,258 But people tell me that gratitude sex is the ultimate. 299 00:12:46,259 --> 00:12:49,050 It's hard to explain. I'd rather just show you. 300 00:12:49,051 --> 00:12:50,258 - Sure, yeah. - You know? 301 00:12:52,051 --> 00:12:55,091 Hey, honey. Uh, I thought Nancy put you to bed. 302 00:12:55,092 --> 00:12:56,883 She did. 303 00:12:56,884 --> 00:13:00,050 Well, it's time for bed. It's past your bedtime. 304 00:13:00,051 --> 00:13:02,508 - It's past his bedtime. - Hey, now. 305 00:13:02,509 --> 00:13:04,425 Go to your room, okay? 306 00:13:04,426 --> 00:13:07,925 I'll hang out in my room, but I'm not going to bed. 307 00:13:10,051 --> 00:13:11,841 I've never seen an old man in sneakers before. 308 00:13:11,842 --> 00:13:13,674 Okay, that's... go to your room. 309 00:13:13,675 --> 00:13:15,216 That's so stupid. 310 00:13:15,217 --> 00:13:17,799 - Eddie! Go. - That's a good one. 311 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:20,300 You know, it's... he's on the spectrum. I'm sorry. 312 00:13:20,301 --> 00:13:21,883 Ah, the spectrum. 313 00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:24,592 He's on the spectrum. Yeah. 314 00:13:27,259 --> 00:13:29,258 Guess that's that. 315 00:13:29,259 --> 00:13:31,467 He won't listen to me, but... 316 00:13:31,468 --> 00:13:35,425 maybe you can... you can get him to bed. 317 00:13:35,426 --> 00:13:36,884 The offer still stands. 318 00:13:56,176 --> 00:13:58,508 All right, you little prick, okay? 319 00:13:58,509 --> 00:14:01,425 I got some gratitude sex coming to me, and you're not gonna ruin it. 320 00:14:01,426 --> 00:14:02,841 You got it? 321 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:03,924 Now get under those covers. 322 00:14:03,925 --> 00:14:05,383 You're gonna go to sleep, 323 00:14:05,384 --> 00:14:07,092 and I'm gonna have sex with your mother. 324 00:14:14,426 --> 00:14:15,799 Hello. 325 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:18,799 You're looking at a man with an "A" on his shirt... 326 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:19,924 for "apology." 327 00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:21,550 - Is that so? - Yes. 328 00:14:21,551 --> 00:14:23,216 I'm sorry for the other day. 329 00:14:23,217 --> 00:14:24,799 There was nothing I could do. 330 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:26,758 We had to leave, so I left. 331 00:14:26,759 --> 00:14:29,175 Quite an expensive bottle of champagne 332 00:14:29,176 --> 00:14:30,425 I wound up paying for. 333 00:14:30,426 --> 00:14:31,758 We ordered the champagne 334 00:14:31,759 --> 00:14:33,633 because you wanted to live it up. 335 00:14:33,634 --> 00:14:36,133 You said, "Let's live it up." I would never live it up. 336 00:14:36,134 --> 00:14:37,633 I live it down, I don't live it up. 337 00:14:37,634 --> 00:14:39,550 Okay, maybe I said, "Let's live it up." 338 00:14:39,551 --> 00:14:41,633 - You did. - I wanted to have a good time, that's all! 339 00:14:41,634 --> 00:14:43,883 So anyway, so you're here to what? 340 00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:46,008 Apologize. I'm sorry! 341 00:14:46,009 --> 00:14:47,799 For leaving me with the bill? 342 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:51,008 No, I'm sorry for leaving early. 343 00:14:51,009 --> 00:14:52,550 That's what I'm sorry about. 344 00:14:52,551 --> 00:14:54,467 I don't mind you leaving early, 345 00:14:54,468 --> 00:14:58,841 but I think the proper apology would be to say, "I'm sorry. 346 00:14:58,842 --> 00:15:01,008 Here's $250 for the champagne." 347 00:15:01,009 --> 00:15:03,508 - Okay? - That's a cash apology. 348 00:15:03,509 --> 00:15:05,133 My apology is from the heart. 349 00:15:05,134 --> 00:15:07,008 That's something that means something. 350 00:15:07,009 --> 00:15:09,008 Why do you come to the office to apologize without offering the money? 351 00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:10,300 Because I felt bad! 352 00:15:10,301 --> 00:15:12,425 If you feel bad, you offer the money! 353 00:15:12,426 --> 00:15:14,342 - No, you don't! - You don't understand feeling bad! 354 00:15:14,343 --> 00:15:16,633 Feeling bad is feeling in the heart, not in the wallet! 355 00:15:16,634 --> 00:15:19,674 - No, feeling bad is making it up! - It is not! 356 00:15:19,675 --> 00:15:24,050 Well, to come here and apologize without taking your wallet out 357 00:15:24,051 --> 00:15:27,300 and offering, who knows if I would even accept it? 358 00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:29,674 There's not even an offer! 359 00:15:29,675 --> 00:15:31,216 Let's go to lunch, talk it over. 360 00:15:31,217 --> 00:15:32,924 - Okay. Yeah. - Okay? 361 00:15:32,925 --> 00:15:35,508 I gotta take a quick piss. 362 00:15:35,509 --> 00:15:37,799 - Mr. Larry. - Ah, Cesar. 363 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:41,050 I want to thank you for offering me to watch the game on your TV. 364 00:15:41,051 --> 00:15:42,883 Ah, well, you're very welcome. 365 00:15:42,884 --> 00:15:45,633 - But unfortunately, I couldn't make it. - What? 366 00:15:45,634 --> 00:15:48,883 Yeah, my wife, she wanted me to do a bunch of chores in the house, 367 00:15:48,884 --> 00:15:50,425 so I... I couldn't come. 368 00:15:50,426 --> 00:15:53,050 I'm, uh... well, I'm sorry to hear that. Too bad. 369 00:15:53,051 --> 00:15:58,008 But, uh, you... you're a member of a nice country club, sí? 370 00:15:58,009 --> 00:15:58,809 Yeah? 371 00:15:58,810 --> 00:16:01,091 Can I bring my family there for a nice little swim? 372 00:16:01,092 --> 00:16:03,050 Little Cesar's like Aquaman. 373 00:16:03,051 --> 00:16:07,008 No. No, you can't... you can't bring your family there, no! 374 00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:09,758 - But... but why not? - It's not the way it works. No! 375 00:16:09,759 --> 00:16:11,758 I don't understand your lack of generosity. 376 00:16:11,759 --> 00:16:13,467 Lack of generosity? What are you talking about? 377 00:16:13,468 --> 00:16:15,550 I gave you a tip, which you turned down. 378 00:16:15,551 --> 00:16:17,342 I did not take it, so you owe me a favor. 379 00:16:17,343 --> 00:16:20,758 I already repaid you a favor that I didn't even owe you! 380 00:16:20,759 --> 00:16:24,258 The whole point of the tip is for you to be indebted to me. 381 00:16:24,259 --> 00:16:26,175 Now you've... you've reversed it! 382 00:16:26,176 --> 00:16:27,300 Now I'm indebted to you. 383 00:16:27,301 --> 00:16:28,966 You flipped it! You flipped the tip! 384 00:16:28,967 --> 00:16:30,301 I promised Little Cesar. 385 00:16:32,009 --> 00:16:34,050 All right. This is the last one. 386 00:16:34,051 --> 00:16:35,924 Okay? This is it. 387 00:16:35,925 --> 00:16:38,425 And next time I give you a tip, you take it, okay? 388 00:16:38,426 --> 00:16:41,091 - Okay, Mr. Larry. - But the country club is out. 389 00:16:41,092 --> 00:16:42,508 You can't swim there. They're racist. 390 00:16:42,509 --> 00:16:43,758 They're not gonna let you in there. 391 00:16:43,759 --> 00:16:45,592 Why are you a member of a racist club? 392 00:16:45,593 --> 00:16:47,924 They're all racists. That's the way they operate. 393 00:16:47,925 --> 00:16:49,425 How about your pool? 394 00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:51,799 Oh, I would, but the heater in my house 395 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:54,966 got all screwed up and nothing's working now, and the pool's not working. 396 00:16:54,967 --> 00:16:57,176 I bet you have friends with nice pools. 397 00:16:59,009 --> 00:17:01,342 Hey... 398 00:17:01,343 --> 00:17:02,924 your pool working? 399 00:17:02,925 --> 00:17:03,966 Yeah. 400 00:17:03,967 --> 00:17:06,799 Can Cesar and his family use your pool? 401 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,175 - Who's Cesar? - Yo. 402 00:17:09,176 --> 00:17:10,674 Nice to meet you, Cesar. 403 00:17:10,675 --> 00:17:12,175 Nice to meet you, sir. 404 00:17:12,176 --> 00:17:13,592 Can he use my pool? 405 00:17:13,593 --> 00:17:16,008 It's hot out, they have no place to swim, and... 406 00:17:16,009 --> 00:17:18,633 At this time of year, 407 00:17:18,634 --> 00:17:20,425 we might have family coming over. 408 00:17:20,426 --> 00:17:23,342 - You know, I never know... - I'll tell you what. 409 00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:26,008 We call it even, the $250. 410 00:17:26,009 --> 00:17:29,300 - So you're never gonna mention it again? - Never again. 411 00:17:29,301 --> 00:17:31,508 - When do you want to come over? - On Saturday. 412 00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:33,467 What time is good for you? 8:00 a.m.? 413 00:17:33,468 --> 00:17:36,008 - Uh, let's make it 8:30. - Thank you, sir. 414 00:17:36,009 --> 00:17:37,508 - Hey, do me a favor. - Yes, sir. 415 00:17:37,509 --> 00:17:40,508 No diving, and try to stay in the shallow end, okay? 416 00:17:40,509 --> 00:17:42,966 - That's his number. - Oh, thank you, Mr. Larry. 417 00:17:42,967 --> 00:17:45,841 Little Cesar is gonna be so happy. 418 00:17:45,842 --> 00:17:47,301 Gracias. 419 00:17:50,051 --> 00:17:52,674 Larry David paid you for your services? 420 00:17:52,675 --> 00:17:54,258 Hell, yeah, he did. 421 00:17:54,259 --> 00:17:56,550 But all he did was use me to get in the carpool lane 422 00:17:56,551 --> 00:17:58,674 so he can get to the Dodger game. 423 00:17:58,675 --> 00:18:03,342 So you're saying that, uh, your encounter was not of sexual nature. 424 00:18:03,343 --> 00:18:05,216 Hell, no! 425 00:18:05,217 --> 00:18:07,176 He could've had all this! 426 00:18:10,009 --> 00:18:11,966 I still don't understand. 427 00:18:11,967 --> 00:18:15,383 How can your father be a kamikaze pilot when he's still alive? 428 00:18:15,384 --> 00:18:19,050 He grazed the ship. 429 00:18:19,051 --> 00:18:21,009 Grazed, but not fatal. 430 00:18:22,925 --> 00:18:24,008 No. 431 00:18:24,009 --> 00:18:26,883 Then Larry was right. 432 00:18:26,884 --> 00:18:29,216 So, Larry David went on a date with you 433 00:18:29,217 --> 00:18:30,716 and carried you upstairs? 434 00:18:30,717 --> 00:18:32,883 Yeah. I didn't want him to. 435 00:18:32,884 --> 00:18:35,467 - Oh, he insisted? - Yes. 436 00:18:35,468 --> 00:18:38,550 You know, I wasn't the only girl in a wheelchair he was dating. 437 00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:42,383 So, he went out with two different women with disability? 438 00:18:42,384 --> 00:18:44,216 At least. 439 00:18:44,217 --> 00:18:45,759 Commendable. 440 00:18:47,717 --> 00:18:49,425 I'd see Larry occasionally. 441 00:18:49,426 --> 00:18:53,008 I guess you would say I had some issues with him. 442 00:18:53,009 --> 00:18:55,758 But wasn't the real issue 443 00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:59,426 the... big vagina? 444 00:19:00,634 --> 00:19:02,924 Yes. It's big. 445 00:19:02,925 --> 00:19:05,050 Big enough to steal 446 00:19:05,051 --> 00:19:08,593 a Mickey Mantle autographed baseball? 447 00:19:10,009 --> 00:19:11,592 - Yes. - Hmm. 448 00:19:11,593 --> 00:19:16,050 He took a word in one of my rhymes and changed that shit. 449 00:19:16,051 --> 00:19:18,758 And it opened up lyrically for me. 450 00:19:18,759 --> 00:19:20,091 It was amazing, man. 451 00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:23,924 He also saved me from a marriage to a lesbian. 452 00:19:23,925 --> 00:19:25,716 So, yeah... 453 00:19:25,717 --> 00:19:28,383 that motherfucker's my Caucasian. 454 00:19:28,384 --> 00:19:30,342 - Caucasian? - Write that shit down. 455 00:19:30,343 --> 00:19:32,674 - He is your Caucasian, yes. - He is my Caucasian. 456 00:19:32,675 --> 00:19:34,258 And a motherfucker. 457 00:19:34,259 --> 00:19:36,258 So, we're on the ski lift and it's shkiyat hachamah. 458 00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:37,841 And according to Jewish law, 459 00:19:37,842 --> 00:19:40,716 I'm not allowed to be with a man alone after sundown, 460 00:19:40,717 --> 00:19:42,133 so I asked him to jump. 461 00:19:42,134 --> 00:19:44,342 And he refused, so I had to jump. 462 00:19:44,343 --> 00:19:47,924 So he refused to follow the tenets of Jewish orthodoxy. 463 00:19:47,925 --> 00:19:49,799 Oh, absolutely. 464 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:51,176 Big time. 465 00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:54,758 Please continue. 466 00:19:54,759 --> 00:19:59,008 So, he comes upstairs and he accuses me of clomping. 467 00:19:59,009 --> 00:20:00,716 And I explained to him, I have these shoes, 468 00:20:00,717 --> 00:20:03,633 these heavy shoes that I wear because my feet get cramped. 469 00:20:03,634 --> 00:20:05,467 And they make noise. 470 00:20:05,468 --> 00:20:07,008 I invite him in. 471 00:20:07,009 --> 00:20:10,050 I offer him a soda. 472 00:20:10,051 --> 00:20:12,799 He took it, and it exploded, and it got all over him, 473 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:15,133 and he got... upset. 474 00:20:15,134 --> 00:20:17,799 - Now it's... now it's... - Mr. Fox... 475 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,675 did you clomp on purpose? 476 00:20:21,551 --> 00:20:22,924 A little bit. 477 00:20:22,925 --> 00:20:26,800 And did you embellish the shaking of the soda? 478 00:20:29,134 --> 00:20:30,883 Yeah. 479 00:20:30,884 --> 00:20:32,674 Thank you. 480 00:20:32,675 --> 00:20:36,216 May I offer you some refreshment? 481 00:20:36,217 --> 00:20:38,508 No, thank you. 482 00:20:38,509 --> 00:20:40,175 I pass, sir. 483 00:20:40,176 --> 00:20:41,842 Pussy. 484 00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:55,216 Larry, thank you for all of the "Seinfeld" scripts 485 00:20:55,217 --> 00:20:57,883 and memorabilia that you've donated to our fundraisers. 486 00:20:57,884 --> 00:20:59,175 - It's really... - Yes. 487 00:20:59,176 --> 00:21:00,425 It's made a lot of money for the school. 488 00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:01,799 So happy to do it. 489 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,342 And thank for allowing me to come in here today 490 00:21:04,343 --> 00:21:09,300 and talk to you, uh, about this young man who I adore. 491 00:21:09,301 --> 00:21:10,799 - Yes, Eddie. - Uh, Eddie, yes. 492 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,216 - Right. - Eddie, yes. 493 00:21:12,217 --> 00:21:14,133 You know what? 494 00:21:14,134 --> 00:21:17,716 I just feel like I'm ignoring you all the way on that side. 495 00:21:17,717 --> 00:21:21,674 I should be here because sometimes women, they're a little, uh, 496 00:21:21,675 --> 00:21:24,883 ultra-sensitive about being ignored at these meetings. 497 00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:26,799 "Oh, oh, you don't talk to the woman," you know. 498 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,716 - Oh, no. - That's not me. That's not me. 499 00:21:28,717 --> 00:21:31,508 Wherever you want to sit is fine. Please. 500 00:21:31,509 --> 00:21:34,342 Okay, thank you. Thank you. 501 00:21:34,343 --> 00:21:37,175 I actually would prefer to sit over there, but, you know. 502 00:21:37,176 --> 00:21:38,883 - Well, please! - Feel free, Larry. 503 00:21:38,884 --> 00:21:40,924 Okay, all right, okay. Thank you. 504 00:21:40,925 --> 00:21:42,716 - All right, so! - Eddie. 505 00:21:42,717 --> 00:21:45,508 You know, I... I love this kid like... like my own son. 506 00:21:45,509 --> 00:21:48,841 - Mm-hmm. - Well, you know, like a nephew. 507 00:21:48,842 --> 00:21:50,258 Actually, more like a foster child 508 00:21:50,259 --> 00:21:52,716 who comes to your house, and all of a sudden, you go, 509 00:21:52,717 --> 00:21:55,425 "What the hell did I do? I got... what am I, nuts?" 510 00:21:55,426 --> 00:21:58,425 But, no, no, you grow... you grow to love them. 511 00:21:58,426 --> 00:21:59,758 That's how I feel now. 512 00:21:59,759 --> 00:22:01,258 It's... uh, so... 513 00:22:01,259 --> 00:22:06,091 Bridget is Eddie's mother, and she's your girlfriend? 514 00:22:06,092 --> 00:22:07,592 Girlfriend... 515 00:22:07,593 --> 00:22:11,716 I don't know, but she does have tampons in my house. 516 00:22:11,717 --> 00:22:13,758 Okay, Mr. David, we just want 517 00:22:13,759 --> 00:22:16,425 to get to the nature of your relationship because... 518 00:22:16,426 --> 00:22:18,424 We were happy to do a favor for you, Larry. 519 00:22:18,425 --> 00:22:19,425 Sure. 520 00:22:19,426 --> 00:22:20,026 But... 521 00:22:20,027 --> 00:22:22,758 We just wanna make sure that it's just not a fling. 522 00:22:22,759 --> 00:22:26,883 We're just interested in where you see this relationship going. 523 00:22:26,884 --> 00:22:28,924 Yeah, the relationship going. I don't know. 524 00:22:28,925 --> 00:22:30,425 You know, they're kind of tough. 525 00:22:30,426 --> 00:22:33,133 You get involved with somebody, and all of a sudden, 526 00:22:33,134 --> 00:22:35,425 you got to check in, you got to report in, 527 00:22:35,426 --> 00:22:37,716 you got to text them, make those phone calls. 528 00:22:37,717 --> 00:22:40,342 You go away for a weekend with your friends on a trip to Vegas, 529 00:22:40,343 --> 00:22:41,841 you come back, she says, "Did you had fun?" 530 00:22:41,842 --> 00:22:43,758 You got to lie, say, "No, no, I didn't have fun. 531 00:22:43,759 --> 00:22:46,091 "No, no, it wasn't fun at all. Worst trip I ever made in my life." 532 00:22:46,092 --> 00:22:49,175 Then she talks to one of your friends and they say they had a fantastic time. 533 00:22:49,176 --> 00:22:51,841 She comes back to me, she says, "Your friends said you had a great time." 534 00:22:51,842 --> 00:22:55,343 And you go, "No, no, they had a great time. I had a lousy time." 535 00:22:56,675 --> 00:22:58,133 Uh... 536 00:22:58,134 --> 00:23:02,674 in general, how are you with commitments, relationships? 537 00:23:02,675 --> 00:23:05,050 I can't sleep with the same bed with anybody. 538 00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:07,008 It's, ugh, a horrible night's sleep. 539 00:23:07,009 --> 00:23:10,175 You can't... you... I'm off in a corner like this. 540 00:23:10,176 --> 00:23:12,415 You know, 'cause I don't want another body touching mine 541 00:23:12,416 --> 00:23:13,716 when I'm trying to fall asleep. 542 00:23:13,717 --> 00:23:16,716 And you can't turn this way because then you get... you got face-to-face. 543 00:23:16,717 --> 00:23:18,467 You don't wanna do that in the middle of the night. 544 00:23:18,468 --> 00:23:21,508 Well, where... where do you see the relationship going? 545 00:23:21,509 --> 00:23:23,633 I see it going, hopefully, one day, 546 00:23:23,634 --> 00:23:25,674 to the point where I'll let her sleep in the guestroom. 547 00:23:25,675 --> 00:23:27,841 I'm... I'm shooting for that. 548 00:23:27,842 --> 00:23:31,008 Uh, we just want to make sure that Eddie is coming for the right reasons. 549 00:23:31,009 --> 00:23:32,592 Yes. Oh, well, yes. 550 00:23:32,593 --> 00:23:36,258 And that you're in a long-term, committed relationship. 551 00:23:36,259 --> 00:23:39,091 Well, I can... I can give you nine months. 552 00:23:39,092 --> 00:23:41,008 Um, that's... 553 00:23:41,009 --> 00:23:44,674 Well, no, I can give you... I can give you nine months. 554 00:23:44,675 --> 00:23:46,216 Nine happy months. 555 00:23:46,217 --> 00:23:49,383 Then I can give you years and years of... of being miserable. 556 00:23:49,384 --> 00:23:50,966 But we'll be together! 557 00:23:50,967 --> 00:23:52,425 Well, that's actually 558 00:23:52,426 --> 00:23:54,383 really what we're looking to hear, Larry, 559 00:23:54,384 --> 00:23:55,592 is that you are gonna be together 560 00:23:55,593 --> 00:23:57,425 for an extended amount of time. 561 00:23:57,426 --> 00:23:59,467 - Absolutely. - At least while Eddie is here at school. 562 00:23:59,468 --> 00:24:02,716 Unless she gets sick or something, in which case I'll... 563 00:24:02,717 --> 00:24:04,550 I'll leave her quickly. You could understand that. 564 00:24:04,551 --> 00:24:06,467 I'm not gonna visit people in the hospital. 565 00:24:06,468 --> 00:24:08,383 I'm... I'm not crazy, you know. 566 00:24:08,384 --> 00:24:09,883 Otherwise... 567 00:24:09,884 --> 00:24:12,550 I adore this woman. 568 00:24:12,551 --> 00:24:13,841 Excuse me. 569 00:24:13,842 --> 00:24:15,674 Hello. 570 00:24:15,675 --> 00:24:18,258 - LD, it's the Funk-Man. - Hey, I can't talk right now. 571 00:24:18,259 --> 00:24:21,550 All right, I'll make it quick. I can't host Cesar's pool party. 572 00:24:21,551 --> 00:24:24,133 - What? Why? - Well, Marilyn wants us 573 00:24:24,134 --> 00:24:26,550 to go to Catalina, so I've got to do it. 574 00:24:26,551 --> 00:24:30,175 I'm very disappointed. And I'm sure Cesar will be, too. 575 00:24:30,176 --> 00:24:31,257 And Little Cesar. 576 00:24:31,258 --> 00:24:34,258 I don't know Little Cesar and I don't really know Cesar. 577 00:24:34,259 --> 00:24:36,592 But, uh, we still on for brunch Sunday? 578 00:24:36,593 --> 00:24:37,674 Uh, I guess so. 579 00:24:37,675 --> 00:24:38,924 Okay, I'll see you then. 580 00:24:38,925 --> 00:24:41,091 All right. Goodbye. 581 00:24:41,092 --> 00:24:45,592 So, uh, Larry, again, we're very happy you came in, talked to us about Eddie. 582 00:24:45,593 --> 00:24:48,592 I think things, um... I think look pretty good. 583 00:24:48,593 --> 00:24:49,925 We're very, uh... 584 00:24:51,468 --> 00:24:53,425 Could my handyman and his family 585 00:24:53,426 --> 00:24:55,593 use your pool on Saturday? 586 00:25:09,468 --> 00:25:11,342 - Hi. - Hey. 587 00:25:11,343 --> 00:25:12,799 - Same table. - Is it? 588 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,966 - Champagne. - Oh. 589 00:25:14,967 --> 00:25:17,008 This time we'll drink it. 590 00:25:17,009 --> 00:25:18,716 What's the matter? 591 00:25:18,717 --> 00:25:22,467 I just got off the phone with the Pemberton Academy. 592 00:25:22,468 --> 00:25:23,799 What'd they say? 593 00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:25,008 Eddie didn't get in. 594 00:25:25,009 --> 00:25:26,467 - He didn't get in? - No. 595 00:25:26,468 --> 00:25:27,883 Why? 596 00:25:27,884 --> 00:25:29,300 Because of the condition 597 00:25:29,301 --> 00:25:31,716 that your handyman and his family 598 00:25:31,717 --> 00:25:33,924 left the Pemberton Academy pool. 599 00:25:33,925 --> 00:25:35,467 What? What's the condition? 600 00:25:35,468 --> 00:25:37,008 Befouled. 601 00:25:37,009 --> 00:25:39,258 Little Cesar befouled the pool? 602 00:25:39,259 --> 00:25:40,300 Why would you send them there? 603 00:25:40,301 --> 00:25:41,966 Of all the pools in California? 604 00:25:41,967 --> 00:25:43,966 I don't know, 'cause Little Cesar wanted to use a pool! 605 00:25:43,967 --> 00:25:45,633 I couldn't... I couldn't refuse Little Cesar. 606 00:25:45,634 --> 00:25:47,258 Why do they have to use a pool at all? 607 00:25:47,259 --> 00:25:49,216 Cesar flipped the tip on me and, you know, 608 00:25:49,217 --> 00:25:50,966 he wouldn't take the tip, so I was obligated to! 609 00:25:50,967 --> 00:25:52,175 - Hi! - Hello! 610 00:25:52,176 --> 00:25:54,133 More obligated than to... hi! 611 00:25:54,134 --> 00:25:56,216 - Hi. - How are you? 612 00:25:56,217 --> 00:25:57,883 What a day! 613 00:25:57,884 --> 00:25:59,674 We just came back from Catalina. 614 00:25:59,675 --> 00:26:02,425 - Oh, heard that's beautiful. - What a cruise! 615 00:26:02,426 --> 00:26:04,300 - Dolphins! - Great boat, beautiful. 616 00:26:04,301 --> 00:26:05,841 - Magnificent. - I think I got too much sun. 617 00:26:05,842 --> 00:26:07,216 How are you guys doing? 618 00:26:07,217 --> 00:26:11,258 Gosh, I am so sorry, but I think I have to go. 619 00:26:11,259 --> 00:26:12,459 Oh, no. 620 00:26:12,460 --> 00:26:14,633 We just had a "go home" argument, and I have to go. 621 00:26:14,634 --> 00:26:17,758 Oh, no, no, no. Don't do that! No, don't do that! 622 00:26:17,759 --> 00:26:20,467 I just feel so upset. I'm not gonna be able to rally for today. 623 00:26:20,468 --> 00:26:22,008 - Yeah. - Thank you. You understand. 624 00:26:22,009 --> 00:26:23,841 - Thanks for trying. - Oh, no. I'm sorry, no. 625 00:26:23,842 --> 00:26:26,175 I'll see you, maybe, again, but who can say? 626 00:26:26,176 --> 00:26:29,674 - I might not. - No, I'm so... ah! Ah, I'm sorry! 627 00:26:29,675 --> 00:26:31,383 Enjoy the champagne. 628 00:26:31,384 --> 00:26:34,092 - I'm sorry! Ah! - Here we go. 629 00:26:42,593 --> 00:26:44,176 Oh! 630 00:26:50,551 --> 00:26:53,508 Mr. David, get in. 631 00:26:53,509 --> 00:26:56,342 Get... get in the car? What, where... where are we going? 632 00:26:56,343 --> 00:26:58,883 I haven't even had... had brunch yet. 633 00:26:58,884 --> 00:27:00,342 Get in. 634 00:27:00,343 --> 00:27:01,717 Okay. 635 00:27:03,217 --> 00:27:05,258 Oh, my God. 636 00:27:05,259 --> 00:27:06,176 Go. 637 00:27:09,717 --> 00:27:12,633 There was no reason for me to get to the back of the line. 638 00:27:12,634 --> 00:27:14,966 As I said, I had already waited, 639 00:27:14,967 --> 00:27:21,175 and those brunch buffet lines are interminable. 640 00:27:21,176 --> 00:27:23,383 Yes, I am familiar 641 00:27:23,384 --> 00:27:25,759 because they cook the eggs while you wait. 642 00:27:27,176 --> 00:27:31,091 And all I wanted... just a little bit more home fries. 643 00:27:31,092 --> 00:27:32,674 Ah, yes, home fries. 644 00:27:32,675 --> 00:27:34,758 A nice compliment to the eggs. 645 00:27:34,759 --> 00:27:36,425 With ketchup? 646 00:27:36,426 --> 00:27:38,176 Yes, of course. 647 00:27:41,842 --> 00:27:45,175 So it seems wrong to wait 15 minutes just for that. 648 00:27:45,176 --> 00:27:47,467 Yes, of course. Why even get them? 649 00:27:47,468 --> 00:27:50,716 Exactly. So I took a chance. 650 00:27:50,717 --> 00:27:52,091 But the outcry 651 00:27:52,092 --> 00:27:55,425 was unlike anything you could ever imagine. 652 00:27:55,426 --> 00:27:57,467 You are perceived as a cutter. 653 00:27:57,468 --> 00:28:00,216 There's nothing Americans hate more than a cutter. 654 00:28:00,217 --> 00:28:01,467 - He is right. - It's true. 655 00:28:01,468 --> 00:28:05,550 You're right, Mufti. I was humiliated. 656 00:28:05,551 --> 00:28:07,716 But this man... 657 00:28:07,717 --> 00:28:09,799 he rose to my defense. 658 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:12,425 He said I have every right 659 00:28:12,426 --> 00:28:15,216 to get seconds without waiting. 660 00:28:15,217 --> 00:28:17,924 He was forceful, passionate, 661 00:28:17,925 --> 00:28:20,383 and courageous. 662 00:28:20,384 --> 00:28:23,633 When the American blood sugar gets low, 663 00:28:23,634 --> 00:28:25,592 they turn into animals. 664 00:28:25,593 --> 00:28:27,091 It's very intimidating. 665 00:28:27,092 --> 00:28:28,758 - True. - I have seen it. 666 00:28:28,759 --> 00:28:31,008 Not this man. 667 00:28:31,009 --> 00:28:32,633 It was something to see. 668 00:28:32,634 --> 00:28:36,216 And that's why I come before you 669 00:28:36,217 --> 00:28:40,550 to beg you to reevaluate his case. 670 00:28:40,551 --> 00:28:44,966 I have read the report of your investigation with great interest. 671 00:28:44,967 --> 00:28:48,008 However, there are many things in his past 672 00:28:48,009 --> 00:28:50,924 which contradict his behavior in the restaurant. 673 00:28:50,925 --> 00:28:56,592 For example, this business about not giving out candy on Halloween. 674 00:28:56,593 --> 00:28:58,841 Surely that cannot be justified. 675 00:28:58,842 --> 00:29:02,799 With all due respect, he did give out candies. 676 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:06,175 But the girls in question, they were teenagers. 677 00:29:06,176 --> 00:29:08,008 Much too old to be tricking. 678 00:29:08,009 --> 00:29:10,508 Tricking or treating? 679 00:29:10,509 --> 00:29:12,758 This is all so very confusing. 680 00:29:12,759 --> 00:29:14,592 Well, you play tricks 681 00:29:14,593 --> 00:29:17,592 if you don't get the treat, is my understanding. 682 00:29:17,593 --> 00:29:20,258 Yes, I believe that is correct. 683 00:29:20,259 --> 00:29:21,966 That is confusing. 684 00:29:21,967 --> 00:29:23,508 But the girls were 16. 685 00:29:23,509 --> 00:29:26,716 You don't trick when you're 16. 686 00:29:26,717 --> 00:29:30,216 That's not tricking, that's stealing. 687 00:29:30,217 --> 00:29:32,175 By denying them candy, 688 00:29:32,176 --> 00:29:34,716 he was teaching them a lesson. 689 00:29:34,717 --> 00:29:36,674 Yes. 690 00:29:36,675 --> 00:29:39,383 I see your point. 691 00:29:39,384 --> 00:29:41,924 Ah, very good. Very good. 692 00:29:41,925 --> 00:29:44,550 Pass the plates, gentlemen. 693 00:29:44,551 --> 00:29:47,716 - Falafel. Yes, falafel. - Another falafel over here. 694 00:29:47,717 --> 00:29:49,050 - Kabob. - Kabob for me. 695 00:29:49,051 --> 00:29:52,342 - Onion rings. Yes. - Ah, french fries. 696 00:29:52,343 --> 00:29:56,716 But what about his values? 697 00:29:56,717 --> 00:29:58,716 His lust knows no bounds. 698 00:29:58,717 --> 00:30:02,342 He will have sexual congress with anyone, anytime. 699 00:30:02,343 --> 00:30:04,924 Including a Palestinian. 700 00:30:04,925 --> 00:30:07,383 What? Is this true? 701 00:30:07,384 --> 00:30:09,175 This is so? 702 00:30:09,176 --> 00:30:10,966 You know this for a fact? 703 00:30:10,967 --> 00:30:12,467 Twice. 704 00:30:12,468 --> 00:30:13,716 Twice! 705 00:30:13,717 --> 00:30:15,175 A Muslim woman? 706 00:30:15,176 --> 00:30:16,258 Yes, Mufti, 707 00:30:16,259 --> 00:30:17,551 she is a Muslim. 708 00:30:19,426 --> 00:30:21,716 Very interesting. 709 00:30:21,717 --> 00:30:24,425 This is new information. 710 00:30:24,426 --> 00:30:27,300 I will personally contact the ayatollah 711 00:30:27,301 --> 00:30:30,134 and let him know what we have learned. 712 00:30:31,593 --> 00:30:34,091 I can say without reservation 713 00:30:34,092 --> 00:30:37,383 that he will rescind the fatwa. 714 00:30:37,384 --> 00:30:41,924 - You are free to go. - Thank you, "Moofti"! "Muff-ti"! 715 00:30:41,925 --> 00:30:43,799 Thank you all, moo-mooftis and muff-tis. 716 00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:45,300 Is it "muff-ti" or "moofti"? 717 00:30:45,301 --> 00:30:46,467 "Moofti." 718 00:30:46,468 --> 00:30:48,175 - "Moovti." - "Moovti." 719 00:30:48,176 --> 00:30:49,550 Thank you, "Moovtis." 720 00:30:49,551 --> 00:30:52,091 Thank you so... but what about the musical? 721 00:30:52,092 --> 00:30:53,924 Um, the musical "Fatwa!"? 722 00:30:53,925 --> 00:30:56,925 I will say this about the musical... 723 00:30:58,426 --> 00:31:00,841 If you can get Lin-Manuel Miranda, 724 00:31:00,842 --> 00:31:02,467 you know, from "Hamilton"... 725 00:31:02,468 --> 00:31:05,216 Yes! I love "Hamilton"! 726 00:31:05,217 --> 00:31:08,050 If you can get Lin-Manuel Miranda to star, 727 00:31:08,051 --> 00:31:09,592 you can proceed with the musical. 728 00:31:09,593 --> 00:31:10,883 How am I gonna get Lin-Manuel? 729 00:31:10,884 --> 00:31:12,674 He... he's got his own stuff he does. 730 00:31:12,675 --> 00:31:14,133 He's not gonna be in this. 731 00:31:14,134 --> 00:31:15,966 What are you doing with the ketchup? 732 00:31:15,967 --> 00:31:17,550 You used up all the ketchup! 733 00:31:17,551 --> 00:31:20,508 - I like ketchup. - Show some restraint. 734 00:31:20,509 --> 00:31:22,841 You're never going to eat all that. 735 00:31:22,842 --> 00:31:25,799 Is there a shortage of ketchup that I was not aware of? 736 00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:29,966 This is why I have been advocating for packets, but no one will listen! 737 00:31:29,967 --> 00:31:34,008 - Now, that's a good idea. - I cannot eat onion rings without ketchup. 738 00:31:34,009 --> 00:31:35,924 The whole snack is ruined! 739 00:31:35,925 --> 00:31:38,550 - Wait, don't go! - Please, no! 740 00:31:38,551 --> 00:31:40,258 How am I gonna get Lin-Manuel? 741 00:31:40,259 --> 00:31:43,133 You're being a baby. 742 00:31:43,134 --> 00:31:44,551 Thank you. 743 00:31:56,634 --> 00:31:58,008 Huh. Okay. 744 00:31:58,009 --> 00:32:01,008 - Here you are. - All right. Very nice. 745 00:32:01,009 --> 00:32:03,091 - All right. - Thank you so much for everything. 746 00:32:03,092 --> 00:32:05,342 I really appreciate it. Let me, uh... before you go. 747 00:32:05,343 --> 00:32:06,966 No, I can't take that. 748 00:32:06,967 --> 00:32:08,342 - Oh, no. - Please, put it back. 749 00:32:08,343 --> 00:32:09,841 - I insist. - No, I cannot take this. 750 00:32:09,842 --> 00:32:11,716 - What? Come on, please. - I cannot take it. 751 00:32:11,717 --> 00:32:13,716 - Take the money. What? - No. You are going to embar... 752 00:32:13,717 --> 00:32:15,217 - You are offending me. - You're offending me! 753 00:32:17,217 --> 00:32:18,966 - I'm not taking... - Look. Yeah, take it. 754 00:32:18,967 --> 00:32:21,383 - I don't want it. Yeah. - No! Take it back! 755 00:32:21,384 --> 00:32:22,716 I don't want it! 756 00:32:22,717 --> 00:32:24,883 I can't take that from you, sir! 757 00:32:24,884 --> 00:32:26,467 I will not take this tip, okay? 758 00:32:26,468 --> 00:32:27,592 Take the money! 759 00:32:27,593 --> 00:32:29,509 You ain't gonna flip a tip on me!57317

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