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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:11,067 [pop music] 2 00:00:11,133 --> 00:00:14,267 * * 3 00:00:14,333 --> 00:00:17,333 - * Where are you now that I need ya * 4 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:20,800 - I was alone, on the verge of bankruptcy, 5 00:00:20,867 --> 00:00:22,900 with a daughter in college and a deadbeat husband 6 00:00:22,967 --> 00:00:25,233 who I finally got the guts to throw out the door. 7 00:00:25,300 --> 00:00:27,200 I worked at Random House right out of college 8 00:00:27,267 --> 00:00:29,800 for three years before I quit to raise Caitlin, 9 00:00:29,867 --> 00:00:31,800 My mom passed away that year, 10 00:00:31,867 --> 00:00:34,400 and my daughter needed me. 11 00:00:34,467 --> 00:00:37,233 - * Where are you now that I need you * 12 00:00:37,300 --> 00:00:39,067 When I was ready to go back to work, 13 00:00:39,133 --> 00:00:42,100 no one would give me a chance-- literally nobody. 14 00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:44,400 Maggie had this crazy idea that I lie about my age 15 00:00:44,467 --> 00:00:46,033 on my resume. 16 00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:48,433 I was so desperate, I was ready to try anything. 17 00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:50,700 - * Where are you that I need you * 18 00:00:50,767 --> 00:00:52,867 There were so many times that I wanted to tell you, 19 00:00:52,933 --> 00:00:54,367 but then we started Millennial, 20 00:00:54,433 --> 00:00:56,867 and I knew you needed me to be the person 21 00:00:56,933 --> 00:00:59,433 you believed I was. 22 00:00:59,500 --> 00:01:02,133 Sometimes I believed it myself. 23 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:05,533 * * 24 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,633 I know it was selfish, but the longer it went on, 25 00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:11,267 the harder it became to tell you the truth. 26 00:01:13,067 --> 00:01:14,867 - Why even tell me now? 27 00:01:14,933 --> 00:01:16,500 - Because I couldn't keep deceiving 28 00:01:16,567 --> 00:01:18,167 the people I love most. 29 00:01:19,733 --> 00:01:21,933 And, Kelsey, next to my own daughter, 30 00:01:22,067 --> 00:01:24,200 and Maggie, 31 00:01:24,267 --> 00:01:27,067 you're the most precious thing in the world to me. 32 00:01:28,767 --> 00:01:30,300 - Wow! 33 00:01:30,367 --> 00:01:31,933 I feel like I'm in 34 00:01:32,067 --> 00:01:35,200 an episode of "Black Mirror" or something. 35 00:01:35,267 --> 00:01:37,833 I think that's all I can deal with for one night. 36 00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:41,567 We can talk more tomorrow. - Yeah. We can keep talking 37 00:01:41,633 --> 00:01:43,367 for as long as you like. 38 00:01:43,433 --> 00:01:46,400 Uh...take my room. 39 00:01:46,467 --> 00:01:47,633 I'll sleep with Maggie. 40 00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:49,367 - Thanks. 41 00:01:49,433 --> 00:01:51,433 Good night. - Night. 42 00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:52,633 - Good night. 43 00:01:56,067 --> 00:01:56,967 "Black Mirror"? 44 00:01:57,067 --> 00:01:59,100 - Beats me. 45 00:01:59,167 --> 00:02:01,067 - [sighs] 46 00:02:01,067 --> 00:02:03,067 - * I showed you the game * - Thank you. 47 00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:05,367 - * Everybody else was playin' * 48 00:02:05,433 --> 00:02:07,967 * That's for sure, that's for sure * 49 00:02:08,067 --> 00:02:11,333 * Where are you now that I need ya * 50 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:18,067 * * 51 00:02:19,533 --> 00:02:21,667 - They'll probably fire me. 52 00:02:21,733 --> 00:02:23,433 I just hope they don't sue me. 53 00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:25,067 You know what? Let 'em try. 54 00:02:25,067 --> 00:02:26,633 It's not like I have anything to lose. 55 00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:28,433 - You know, I don't know why you suddenly 56 00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:30,500 feel the need to unburden yourself to everyone, 57 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,300 starting with Kelsey. 58 00:02:32,367 --> 00:02:34,433 You're not doing her any favors. - I can't keep lying 59 00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:36,467 to the people I love, even if it means 60 00:02:36,533 --> 00:02:38,500 they're not gonna like me very much anymore. 61 00:02:38,567 --> 00:02:40,967 - Sometimes lying to the people you love best 62 00:02:41,067 --> 00:02:42,633 is the most loving thing you can do. 63 00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:44,633 - You should like a twisted fortune cookie. 64 00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:47,567 - I accept that. [phone chimes] 65 00:02:47,633 --> 00:02:49,100 - I gotta get Kelsey up for work. 66 00:02:49,167 --> 00:02:50,633 We're gonna be late for the morning meeting. 67 00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:52,300 - Mmm. 68 00:02:52,367 --> 00:02:54,800 - Kelsey, we should start thinking about 69 00:02:54,867 --> 00:02:56,433 heading to the office. 70 00:02:58,067 --> 00:02:59,767 Kelsey? 71 00:03:05,167 --> 00:03:07,567 [pop music] 72 00:03:07,633 --> 00:03:14,600 * * 73 00:03:30,367 --> 00:03:31,967 Good morning. - Morning. 74 00:03:32,067 --> 00:03:33,867 [phone chimes] 75 00:03:36,767 --> 00:03:39,667 [rock music] 76 00:03:39,733 --> 00:03:46,667 * * 77 00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:54,733 - Oh, good, you're here. 78 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:56,900 - Of course. Where else would I be? 79 00:03:56,967 --> 00:03:58,967 - Well, you kinda disappeared last night. 80 00:03:59,067 --> 00:04:01,067 I was worried about you. 81 00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:02,633 - What can I help you with? 82 00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:04,433 - Kelsey, we have to talk. 83 00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:06,233 I'm not gonna burden you with this secret. 84 00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:08,367 - Right now, I'm more concerned 85 00:04:08,433 --> 00:04:10,233 about how this happened. 86 00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:12,100 You bought that stupid labradoodle book 87 00:04:12,167 --> 00:04:13,400 behind my back. 88 00:04:13,467 --> 00:04:14,700 - Emily Burns did some digging. 89 00:04:14,767 --> 00:04:16,233 She found out about my real age, 90 00:04:16,300 --> 00:04:18,067 threatened to write a story about me in "EW" 91 00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:20,067 unless we published her book. - I begged you 92 00:04:20,133 --> 00:04:21,300 not to buy that book. - I know. 93 00:04:21,367 --> 00:04:23,400 I was just trying to protect-- 94 00:04:23,467 --> 00:04:25,467 - Yourself. - Oh, I'm so sorry 95 00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:27,267 to interrupt your morning gossip, 96 00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:28,900 but Marylynne Keller, the famous Washington spin doctor, 97 00:04:28,967 --> 00:04:31,067 is waiting for us in the conference room 98 00:04:31,133 --> 00:04:32,800 to pitch her new book. She has to leave in ten minutes 99 00:04:32,867 --> 00:04:35,367 to be on "Hardball" with Chris Matthews, so let's move. 100 00:04:35,433 --> 00:04:37,133 - The title of my book-- 101 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,067 "It's True Because I'm Shouting It: 102 00:04:39,133 --> 00:04:41,633 Confessions of a Washington Spin Doctor." 103 00:04:41,700 --> 00:04:44,167 Because after 20 years behind the scenes 104 00:04:44,233 --> 00:04:46,233 of shaping policy and perception, 105 00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:48,300 I'm ready to take a good, long leak. 106 00:04:48,367 --> 00:04:50,933 I'm ready to take you through the stories 107 00:04:51,067 --> 00:04:53,567 of how I shaped the narrative, from making people believe 108 00:04:53,633 --> 00:04:55,267 that George W. Bush just loved to 109 00:04:55,333 --> 00:04:57,100 "clear brush on his ranch" 110 00:04:57,167 --> 00:04:59,167 to the universal perception that Michelle Obama 111 00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:00,967 is a down-to-earth fashion plate. 112 00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:03,333 - Well, isn't she? - Well, if you think so, 113 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,533 then it must be true. 114 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,900 But how...did that happen? 115 00:05:06,967 --> 00:05:08,567 - Because she managed to be 116 00:05:08,633 --> 00:05:09,967 both down to earth and glamorous? 117 00:05:10,067 --> 00:05:11,533 - And who would disagree with you? 118 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,667 Nobody. You say something loud, 119 00:05:13,733 --> 00:05:16,433 you say it often, then when people contradict you, 120 00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:18,367 they sound like defensive babies. 121 00:05:18,433 --> 00:05:21,533 And bottom line: Truth... 122 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,533 is a four-letter word. 123 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:26,100 - Uh, actually, truth is a five-letter word. 124 00:05:26,167 --> 00:05:28,167 - Not the way I spell it. 125 00:05:28,233 --> 00:05:30,667 It's important not to confuse the truth 126 00:05:30,733 --> 00:05:32,767 with the facts, and vice versa. 127 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,900 - I'm not sure I... see the difference. 128 00:05:34,967 --> 00:05:36,467 [laughs] - Okay. 129 00:05:36,533 --> 00:05:38,467 The reality is a fact is a factotum. 130 00:05:38,533 --> 00:05:40,167 And according to Webster's, 131 00:05:40,233 --> 00:05:42,567 a factotum is a "jack of all trades," 132 00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:45,300 certainly not something to trust or rely on. 133 00:05:45,367 --> 00:05:48,767 - Those are two completely different words. 134 00:05:48,833 --> 00:05:50,300 - You're a very attractive woman. 135 00:05:50,367 --> 00:05:52,067 And I love that necklace. 136 00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:53,833 And I don't care if you are transgender. 137 00:05:53,900 --> 00:05:56,333 - Uh--I'm not, um... 138 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,867 - Either way, I don't care. 139 00:05:57,933 --> 00:06:00,233 The fact of your gender identity 140 00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:02,533 is irrelevant to me. - I'm a woman. 141 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:05,533 - And I applaud that. 142 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:08,367 - Marylynne, thank you so much for meeting with us. 143 00:06:08,433 --> 00:06:10,700 - Oh, the pleasure was mine. 144 00:06:13,567 --> 00:06:15,167 - Thank you. So much. - Thank you. 145 00:06:15,233 --> 00:06:17,167 - Oh, you're welcome. 146 00:06:17,233 --> 00:06:18,767 Thank you. 147 00:06:18,833 --> 00:06:21,767 [light music] 148 00:06:21,833 --> 00:06:23,567 * * 149 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,233 - Okay. 150 00:06:25,300 --> 00:06:27,733 I, uh, hear the opening offer's 2 million. 151 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:29,100 - Assuming we want it. 152 00:06:29,167 --> 00:06:30,300 - It's going to be 153 00:06:30,367 --> 00:06:31,633 a big title for someone. 154 00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:33,767 Thoughts? - Very enlightening. 155 00:06:33,833 --> 00:06:35,533 - You can't be serious! 156 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:38,333 She is a one-woman reality distortion field! 157 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,967 - Liza? 158 00:06:44,667 --> 00:06:48,767 - I think truth is more elastic than we can imagine. 159 00:06:48,833 --> 00:06:51,233 But it still has value. 160 00:06:51,300 --> 00:06:53,733 Because without it, there is no trust. 161 00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:57,267 And without trust... 162 00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:58,600 there is no love. 163 00:06:58,667 --> 00:07:01,233 And that is why I have to confess 164 00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:03,767 something extremely difficult 165 00:07:03,833 --> 00:07:07,567 to a group of people that I have come to love very much... 166 00:07:07,633 --> 00:07:10,067 and to whom I owe so much. 167 00:07:10,100 --> 00:07:13,433 And whose forgiveness I wouldn't have the presumption 168 00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,500 to ask for. - What? What is it? 169 00:07:15,567 --> 00:07:16,967 [suspenseful music] 170 00:07:17,067 --> 00:07:19,167 - I'm not-- - Going to marry...Josh. 171 00:07:19,233 --> 00:07:22,233 Josh...he proposed, and... 172 00:07:22,300 --> 00:07:25,067 Liza, I know that this has been 173 00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:27,500 really hard for you. - Oh, for God's sake. 174 00:07:27,567 --> 00:07:29,233 This is a business meeting! 175 00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:31,267 We do not discuss our personal lives. 176 00:07:31,333 --> 00:07:33,167 I apologize for that, Charles. 177 00:07:33,233 --> 00:07:34,367 - It's fine. - Liza... 178 00:07:34,433 --> 00:07:36,900 We need to talk. - Uh... 179 00:07:36,967 --> 00:07:38,800 give us a moment first. 180 00:07:38,867 --> 00:07:45,867 * * 181 00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:49,133 Are you crazy? 182 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,167 - No. Yes. I don't know anymore. 183 00:07:51,233 --> 00:07:52,967 Probably. - If you tell people 184 00:07:53,067 --> 00:07:55,433 that you've been lying about your age, 185 00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:58,100 what do you think is going to happen to Millennial? 186 00:07:58,167 --> 00:08:00,067 Our credibility will be destroyed, 187 00:08:00,067 --> 00:08:01,867 and every hater out there 188 00:08:01,933 --> 00:08:03,900 who would just love to see us fail will get their wish. 189 00:08:03,967 --> 00:08:05,733 - So I just keep lying? - No. 190 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:08,567 You...create your truth. 191 00:08:08,633 --> 00:08:10,533 I Googled you earlier, 192 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,733 and the only thing I could find... 193 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,433 [chuckles] 194 00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:16,667 Was this. 195 00:08:16,733 --> 00:08:19,500 A prized pig in Iowa named Liza Miller. 196 00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:20,967 - I actually hired someone 197 00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:22,633 to make myself invisible online. 198 00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:24,533 - That's where you went wrong. 199 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:27,400 You are who your last ten search results say you are. 200 00:08:27,467 --> 00:08:29,067 We need to rewrite your narrative, 201 00:08:29,067 --> 00:08:31,200 create some alternative facts. 202 00:08:31,267 --> 00:08:33,833 - Oh, this is so sad. 203 00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:36,733 No Twitter, no Tumblr, no Spotify playlists? 204 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:38,767 - I've always been a very private person. 205 00:08:38,833 --> 00:08:40,967 - Um, privacy is just another word for low self-esteem, 206 00:08:41,067 --> 00:08:42,600 okay, Liza? You don't value anything you say or do. 207 00:08:42,667 --> 00:08:44,400 That's why you're still an assistant. 208 00:08:44,467 --> 00:08:47,167 - Okay, all right, we're not here to criticize. 209 00:08:47,233 --> 00:08:49,233 We're here to help her... 210 00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:51,367 shout her truth. - Mm-hmm. Of course. 211 00:08:51,433 --> 00:08:53,967 We need to build your social media profile--that's what I do. 212 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,467 When I first met Hector and Dorff, they thought Instagram 213 00:08:56,533 --> 00:08:58,200 was something that went up your nose, okay? 214 00:08:58,267 --> 00:09:00,600 Three million followers later, well... 215 00:09:00,667 --> 00:09:02,733 - We need to give Liza an online identity. 216 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:04,767 All right? It's important for Millennial 217 00:09:04,833 --> 00:09:07,100 that people have a strong sense of who she is. 218 00:09:07,167 --> 00:09:09,167 - Okay. So who do you wanna be? 219 00:09:09,233 --> 00:09:11,067 A bookworm with a slutty streak? 220 00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:13,667 Workaholic hipster? Ooh, I know, I know, I know! 221 00:09:13,733 --> 00:09:16,133 Maybe you're a feisty blonde who doesn't call her friends back. 222 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:17,400 Wait--No. That's Kelsey. 223 00:09:17,467 --> 00:09:19,067 - Lauren, I'm sorry. 224 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,367 I had a rough week. 225 00:09:20,433 --> 00:09:21,600 - Oh... 226 00:09:21,667 --> 00:09:23,933 - Colin and I broke up. 227 00:09:24,067 --> 00:09:26,100 - Oh. Okay, wait--and you were gonna tell me this when? 228 00:09:26,167 --> 00:09:27,933 - Soon. - But you went to cry 229 00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:29,433 on Liza's shoulder? - Actually, we've been crying 230 00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:30,933 on each other's shoulders. 231 00:09:31,067 --> 00:09:32,267 Josh and I broke up too. 232 00:09:32,333 --> 00:09:34,967 - Ah, I see, I see. Okay, uh-huh. 233 00:09:35,067 --> 00:09:37,133 So you've both been bonding over your mutual heartbreak, 234 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:38,833 and you feel like you have nothing in common 235 00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:40,367 with a happy person? So, what--I'm odd woman out? 236 00:09:40,433 --> 00:09:42,067 - No, of course not. - We love you. 237 00:09:42,133 --> 00:09:43,933 - You know, it's not like my life is perfect, okay? 238 00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:46,367 Max works ridiculous shifts. He comes home at crazy hours. 239 00:09:46,433 --> 00:09:49,300 There's not even time for sex. 240 00:09:49,367 --> 00:09:50,567 - I'm sorry. - Last night, 241 00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:52,100 I sat on his nocturnal erection 242 00:09:52,167 --> 00:09:53,733 while he was sleeping, okay? 243 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:55,767 In some cultures, that would be considered rape. 244 00:09:55,833 --> 00:09:58,067 - Yeah, pretty much in every culture. 245 00:09:58,133 --> 00:09:59,533 - Whoops. 246 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,600 [mellow music] 247 00:10:02,667 --> 00:10:08,800 * * 248 00:10:08,867 --> 00:10:10,833 - Liza. 249 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,233 I certainly hope that broken engagement 250 00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:16,233 had nothing to do with me. 251 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:18,800 - No. 252 00:10:18,867 --> 00:10:20,967 When we got down to it, 253 00:10:21,033 --> 00:10:23,033 it wasn't what I wanted. 254 00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:26,567 And I'm really focused on work right now. 255 00:10:26,633 --> 00:10:28,367 - That's important. 256 00:10:28,433 --> 00:10:30,667 - [laughs] Yeah. 257 00:10:30,733 --> 00:10:32,367 - Good night. 258 00:10:32,433 --> 00:10:34,600 - Good night. 259 00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:37,300 - Uh, L-Liza? 260 00:10:37,367 --> 00:10:39,133 Are you a Hemingway fan? 261 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,533 - I, uh, love "The Sun Also Rises"? 262 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,433 Not so much "The Old Man and the Sea," 263 00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:48,533 but "A Moveable Feast"--pretty much my bible in college. 264 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,767 I still have dreams of moving to Paris. 265 00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:52,467 - Would you like to join me for something? 266 00:10:52,533 --> 00:10:55,067 I think you might find this interesting. 267 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,267 - Okay. 268 00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:10,167 [mellow music] 269 00:11:10,233 --> 00:11:12,433 - Hemingway's original draft 270 00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:14,467 of "Farewell to Arms"... - [gasps] 271 00:11:14,533 --> 00:11:16,400 - With his handwritten notes. 272 00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:18,133 - Wow! 273 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,900 - And, uh, that is 274 00:11:19,967 --> 00:11:22,267 the original Three Mountains Press edition 275 00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:24,067 of his first collection of short stories-- 276 00:11:24,067 --> 00:11:26,333 published in Paris in 1924. 277 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:27,833 - "The Moveable Feast" years. 278 00:11:27,900 --> 00:11:29,833 Amazing! 279 00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:31,833 Are you thinking of buying something? 280 00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:34,067 - Uh, no, I'm selling. 281 00:11:34,067 --> 00:11:36,100 - What? All this belongs to you? 282 00:11:36,167 --> 00:11:39,433 - No, my parents. My dad loved Hemingway. 283 00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:41,300 There's actually a picture of the two of them somewhere 284 00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,133 together in Sun Valley. 285 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:46,467 And I wanted to come by and take one last look. 286 00:11:46,533 --> 00:11:48,133 - That must be tough. 287 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,067 - Uh, not at all. 288 00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:52,167 This is...history, 289 00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:55,533 and I'm...more interested in the future. 290 00:11:58,533 --> 00:12:00,100 - Wait--Hemingway wrote love letters 291 00:12:00,167 --> 00:12:01,700 to Marlene Dietrich? 292 00:12:01,767 --> 00:12:05,400 - Yeah. That's the 1950s version of sexting. 293 00:12:05,467 --> 00:12:06,667 - I never knew they had a thing! 294 00:12:06,733 --> 00:12:09,067 - They didn't, exactly, um... 295 00:12:09,067 --> 00:12:12,267 Hemingway once called the two of them 296 00:12:12,333 --> 00:12:15,367 "victims of unsynchronized passion." 297 00:12:15,433 --> 00:12:18,367 [light music] 298 00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:19,900 * * 299 00:12:19,967 --> 00:12:21,067 Excuse me for one second. 300 00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:23,367 Old friends of my parents. 301 00:12:23,433 --> 00:12:30,300 * * 302 00:12:32,133 --> 00:12:34,967 - This is the living room. We split the cable bill. 303 00:12:35,067 --> 00:12:37,333 That's the kitchen. There's always Kombucha brewing, 304 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:38,967 so help yourself. - Oh! 305 00:12:40,300 --> 00:12:41,833 - And the bedroom. 306 00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:44,100 - Oh... [cats meows] 307 00:12:44,167 --> 00:12:47,433 My bedroom? - No. It's a shared bed. 308 00:12:49,267 --> 00:12:52,200 We could...make a pillow wall, if you want. 309 00:12:52,267 --> 00:12:55,100 - * I thought I could be something special * 310 00:12:55,167 --> 00:12:57,867 * And cozy for you * 311 00:12:57,933 --> 00:13:00,300 * * 312 00:13:00,367 --> 00:13:03,067 * A set of those diamonds * 313 00:13:03,133 --> 00:13:06,467 * The diamonds that glare as you stare * 314 00:13:06,533 --> 00:13:09,800 * * 315 00:13:09,867 --> 00:13:11,967 * You're so coo coo * 316 00:13:12,067 --> 00:13:14,200 * I'm so coo coo * 317 00:13:14,267 --> 00:13:16,333 * You're so crazy * - Josh! 318 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,267 Hey! 319 00:13:18,333 --> 00:13:20,667 Hey. I saw you see me. 320 00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:22,900 - [sighs] 321 00:13:22,967 --> 00:13:25,300 Look, I'm sorry. I just-- 322 00:13:25,367 --> 00:13:27,300 I need to make a clean break from Liza 323 00:13:27,367 --> 00:13:29,233 and her entire world, okay? 324 00:13:29,300 --> 00:13:32,267 I mean, I'm sure you know by now what's going on with us-- 325 00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:33,633 - Josh. 326 00:13:33,700 --> 00:13:35,067 - Yeah. 327 00:13:35,133 --> 00:13:37,333 - I know everything. 328 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,967 - You know everything? 329 00:13:40,367 --> 00:13:43,433 What do you think you know? 330 00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:45,400 - Everything. 331 00:13:50,067 --> 00:13:51,900 [pop music plays] 332 00:13:51,967 --> 00:13:53,800 [Josh laughs] 333 00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:55,867 - Did you think it was funny, 334 00:13:55,933 --> 00:13:58,300 both of you, just to pretend to be my good friend and be 335 00:13:58,367 --> 00:14:00,733 just lying to me like that? - No. No! 336 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:04,500 I wanted to tell you, okay? Lisa wouldn't let me. 337 00:14:04,567 --> 00:14:06,700 - God. Who is she? 338 00:14:06,767 --> 00:14:09,267 Like, do I even know her at all? 339 00:14:09,333 --> 00:14:13,133 - It's like you know her... and you don't. 340 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,733 I mean, the same thing happened to me, okay? 341 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,367 - So what really went on that night? 342 00:14:17,433 --> 00:14:19,500 When you were planning to propose? 343 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:21,600 - No, look, um... 344 00:14:21,667 --> 00:14:22,967 We can be friends. 345 00:14:23,067 --> 00:14:25,933 Don't ask me about that night. 346 00:14:26,067 --> 00:14:29,100 Ever again. 347 00:14:32,267 --> 00:14:35,633 [electronic music] 348 00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:40,200 * * 349 00:14:40,267 --> 00:14:42,700 [knock at door] - Excuse me. Liza. 350 00:14:42,767 --> 00:14:44,967 Emily Burns is in the conference room. 351 00:14:45,067 --> 00:14:46,900 - What? What is she doing here? - I set it up. 352 00:14:46,967 --> 00:14:48,333 Shit's about to go down. 353 00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:50,833 - Excuse me? 354 00:14:50,900 --> 00:14:52,633 - Emily, thanks for coming in. 355 00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:55,367 - Anytime. I am so excited about my book! 356 00:14:55,433 --> 00:14:57,233 - That's what I wanted to discuss with you. 357 00:14:57,300 --> 00:14:59,267 According to Liza, 358 00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:02,333 there was some kind of blackmail involved? 359 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,100 Now, I don't know what it's about, 360 00:15:04,167 --> 00:15:06,467 nor do I care, but I can assure you 361 00:15:06,533 --> 00:15:08,100 that once our lawyers are done with you, 362 00:15:08,167 --> 00:15:10,233 you won't just be losing a book deal. 363 00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:12,067 You'll be losing your job. - I can't believe 364 00:15:12,067 --> 00:15:13,700 you're saying this after that nice article 365 00:15:13,767 --> 00:15:15,133 I wrote about you guys in "EW." 366 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:17,667 - That article was mostly about Colin, 367 00:15:17,733 --> 00:15:19,700 not Millennial. - And thanks to the publicity 368 00:15:19,767 --> 00:15:21,900 the article generated, we're not even publishing his book. 369 00:15:21,967 --> 00:15:24,067 - So thanks for nothing. 370 00:15:24,067 --> 00:15:25,767 Oh, if you wanna play dirty, 371 00:15:25,833 --> 00:15:28,167 the stakes are gonna have to go way up. 372 00:15:28,233 --> 00:15:29,633 - What do you want? - Well... 373 00:15:29,700 --> 00:15:31,900 Liza and I would like to be on "EW's" 374 00:15:31,967 --> 00:15:33,667 29 under 29 Media List. 375 00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:36,100 - Both of us? - Absolutely. 376 00:15:36,167 --> 00:15:38,767 - [laughs] Okay. That is crazy. The party is tonight. 377 00:15:38,833 --> 00:15:40,800 That list has been closed for weeks. 378 00:15:40,867 --> 00:15:42,300 - Unclose it. 379 00:15:42,367 --> 00:15:45,233 Or we're canceling your book. 380 00:15:47,767 --> 00:15:51,167 - I guess you could tie for 29th with Tavi Gevinson. 381 00:15:51,233 --> 00:15:53,233 - That would be fine. 382 00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:55,333 - You do realize this is a press event. 383 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:57,367 I just wanna make sure you're both 384 00:15:57,433 --> 00:15:58,433 prepared to be photographed. 385 00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,700 - Absolutely. 386 00:16:00,767 --> 00:16:02,667 - Then see you tonight! 387 00:16:04,233 --> 00:16:07,067 And I hope you bitches know what you're doing. 388 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:11,667 - [inhales, exhales] 389 00:16:12,833 --> 00:16:15,933 [dance music] 390 00:16:16,067 --> 00:16:18,067 - We really staked out an important niche 391 00:16:18,067 --> 00:16:20,333 in the marketplace. 392 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:23,600 - And of course, you can't run a publishing company 393 00:16:23,667 --> 00:16:26,833 called Millennial unless you're a Millennial yourself. 394 00:16:29,167 --> 00:16:35,633 * * 395 00:16:36,667 --> 00:16:38,200 - Kelsey! - Aah! 396 00:16:38,267 --> 00:16:39,733 - Oh, my God, Kelsey, you look amazing! 397 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:42,600 - Oh, thanks. - God, I'm so impressed! 398 00:16:42,667 --> 00:16:44,267 Max has something he wants to say to you. 399 00:16:44,333 --> 00:16:46,433 - Uh...we took the bench press out of your room, 400 00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:48,067 and it's in the hallway now. - Please come back. 401 00:16:48,100 --> 00:16:49,700 - Thank you, but no. 402 00:16:49,767 --> 00:16:51,133 It was time for me to move out. 403 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:52,633 - What--Where are you living? 404 00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:54,300 - I'll let you know. 405 00:16:54,367 --> 00:16:55,800 Soon. I promise. 406 00:16:55,867 --> 00:16:57,200 - No. What's wrong with right now? 407 00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:58,900 - Mm-mm. Boundaries. 408 00:16:58,967 --> 00:17:00,433 You wanna think of this as an exercise. 409 00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:02,833 - Okay. Okay, fine. 410 00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:04,067 Never mind. - Mm-hmm. 411 00:17:04,133 --> 00:17:05,833 - You look nice. 412 00:17:07,300 --> 00:17:09,400 - I've gotten so many offers on the book. 413 00:17:09,467 --> 00:17:11,267 The tracking is incredible. 414 00:17:11,333 --> 00:17:13,267 It already has more preorders than the last "Harry Potter." 415 00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,867 - How is that possible? You don't have a publisher yet. 416 00:17:15,933 --> 00:17:17,533 - Well, I can't do the math for you. 417 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:21,067 The point is, Empirical's offer was not the best. 418 00:17:21,133 --> 00:17:22,833 But I do feel comfortable with you. 419 00:17:22,900 --> 00:17:24,767 - Well, and...we will have a-a great team 420 00:17:24,833 --> 00:17:26,300 working for you. 421 00:17:26,367 --> 00:17:28,267 - Did you hear about the rumors on "Politico" 422 00:17:28,333 --> 00:17:29,900 that we're having an affair? It's so weird. 423 00:17:29,967 --> 00:17:32,867 - Really? Uh, t-that is strange. 424 00:17:32,933 --> 00:17:34,433 - We should just go ahead and do it 425 00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:36,300 and prove the naysayers wrong. 426 00:17:36,367 --> 00:17:39,167 - Wouldn't that be... proving them right? 427 00:17:39,233 --> 00:17:40,600 - I'm talking about the trolls out there 428 00:17:40,667 --> 00:17:42,167 who are saying it isn't true. 429 00:17:42,233 --> 00:17:43,900 Oh, by the way, according to my Twitter feed, 430 00:17:43,967 --> 00:17:47,267 it says that I'm at a conference in Beijing. 431 00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:49,133 So it's the perfect cover. 432 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,133 - If you are here, 433 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,267 how are you tweeting from Beijing? 434 00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:54,700 - Oh, I have people. It's important to maintain 435 00:17:54,767 --> 00:17:56,300 a Chinese presence. 436 00:17:56,367 --> 00:17:59,500 - It would be great if we could, uh... 437 00:17:59,567 --> 00:18:01,400 confine our conversation to the book. 438 00:18:01,467 --> 00:18:03,167 - And kissing. 439 00:18:03,233 --> 00:18:05,167 - Uh...no. 440 00:18:05,233 --> 00:18:07,200 - Oh, I'm hearing yes. 441 00:18:07,267 --> 00:18:09,967 - Uh, no, I'm... I'm saying no. 442 00:18:10,067 --> 00:18:12,300 - Words. You're just saying words. 443 00:18:12,367 --> 00:18:15,300 [upbeat music] 444 00:18:15,367 --> 00:18:21,967 * * 445 00:18:22,067 --> 00:18:25,200 - Okay, you are an evil genius. 446 00:18:25,267 --> 00:18:28,233 You just got "EW" to put their reputation on the line. 447 00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:31,233 They would rather die than admit they were wrong. 448 00:18:31,300 --> 00:18:32,900 - Wrong about what? 449 00:18:32,967 --> 00:18:36,767 - Nothing. We're all in this together now. 450 00:18:36,833 --> 00:18:40,667 Hey... Isn't that your DILF boss? 451 00:18:42,067 --> 00:18:45,233 - Oh, um, excuse me. 452 00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:47,433 Hey. - Hi. 453 00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,533 - I thought you had your dinner tonight. 454 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:54,067 - Uh, I did; I wanted to congratulate you on the honor. 455 00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:57,867 Uh, though I feel like I'm the oldest person in the room. 456 00:18:57,933 --> 00:19:00,700 Are you sure I'm allowed to be here if I'm over 29? 457 00:19:00,767 --> 00:19:02,800 - [stammering] 458 00:19:02,867 --> 00:19:04,933 Uh, so, did we get the book? 459 00:19:05,067 --> 00:19:08,267 - Uh, no, because I don't want to publish it. 460 00:19:08,333 --> 00:19:10,233 - Why not? - I don't want to contribute to 461 00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:15,067 the idea that truth is whatever you're comfortable with. 462 00:19:15,133 --> 00:19:18,067 Even if it means taking a hit to the bottom line. 463 00:19:18,100 --> 00:19:19,567 - Right. 464 00:19:19,633 --> 00:19:22,833 - Guess I'm just old-fashioned that way. 465 00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:24,100 - Hey, uh, do you mind if I steal her? 466 00:19:24,167 --> 00:19:25,500 "Vulture" has a few questions. 467 00:19:25,567 --> 00:19:28,100 - Uh, no, no, go, go. Have fun. 468 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,633 And, Liza... 469 00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:31,767 I'm proud of you. 470 00:19:31,833 --> 00:19:33,767 * * 471 00:19:33,833 --> 00:19:36,600 - Thank you. - Have fun. 472 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:41,367 - Wait, what's wrong? Liza, are you nervous? 473 00:19:41,433 --> 00:19:44,933 - Uh, no, I'm great. I'm just great. 474 00:19:49,633 --> 00:19:51,933 - Ahh! Okay! Oh, my gosh, 475 00:19:52,067 --> 00:19:53,967 this list is being retweeted everywhere. 476 00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:56,400 And your Twitter account is blowing up. 477 00:19:56,467 --> 00:19:59,767 Hello, 1,235 new followers! You're welcome. 478 00:19:59,833 --> 00:20:02,933 - Ugh, my phone just died. Will you please call me an Uber? 479 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,367 - Dude, no, this is your night. Okay, please, take mine. 480 00:20:05,433 --> 00:20:08,867 Oh, in fact, there's Abdul arriving now in the black SUV. 481 00:20:08,933 --> 00:20:10,400 - Good night. - I'll get us another car. 482 00:20:10,467 --> 00:20:13,067 - Oh, hey, Kelsey. 483 00:20:13,133 --> 00:20:15,567 I just-- I just want to thank you 484 00:20:15,633 --> 00:20:18,700 for forgiving me and for understanding 485 00:20:18,767 --> 00:20:22,700 that I'm still the same person that you've always known. 486 00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:28,733 - That in there... was business. 487 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,500 I don't think that I can ever forgive you. 488 00:20:30,567 --> 00:20:32,867 You... 489 00:20:32,933 --> 00:20:34,567 You broke my heart. 490 00:20:34,633 --> 00:20:37,833 [hip-hop music] 491 00:20:37,900 --> 00:20:40,833 - * You can damn me to step over the edge * 492 00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:43,200 - Hey, do you know where Kelsey is living? 493 00:20:43,267 --> 00:20:46,500 - Uh, no. Do you? - Mm-mm, no, she won't tell me. 494 00:20:46,567 --> 00:20:48,867 But now that she's in my Uber... 495 00:20:48,933 --> 00:20:50,833 We're about to find out. 496 00:20:50,900 --> 00:20:54,300 * * 497 00:20:54,367 --> 00:20:58,200 - * There was a time I was afraid of * 498 00:20:58,267 --> 00:21:03,467 * The dark and monsters living underneath my bed * 499 00:21:03,533 --> 00:21:06,300 * And then I said enough is enough * 500 00:21:06,367 --> 00:21:09,067 - Oh, my God. 501 00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:13,500 - * The only monsters were the voices in my head * 502 00:21:13,567 --> 00:21:16,600 [bell rings] 503 00:21:16,667 --> 00:21:18,300 - * Dare me to run * 504 00:21:18,367 --> 00:21:19,933 - Hey. 505 00:21:20,067 --> 00:21:21,333 Got these made today. 506 00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:23,100 - * Is that what you want? * 507 00:21:23,167 --> 00:21:24,333 - Welcome, roomie. 508 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:25,433 - * I dare you to * 509 00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:27,433 * * 510 00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:29,167 * I dare, I dare, I dare * 511 00:21:29,233 --> 00:21:30,800 * I dare you to * 512 00:21:30,867 --> 00:21:32,800 * * 513 00:21:32,867 --> 00:21:34,067 * I dare you to * 34508

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