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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:14,056 ♪ We face the music together ♪ 2 00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:20,104 ♪ And throw our hats in the ring ♪ 3 00:00:22,273 --> 00:00:25,192 ♪ Facing all kinds of weather ♪ 4 00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:30,990 ♪ And not afraid of anything ♪ 5 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,992 ♪ Hey ♪ 6 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,995 ♪ When the sun comes up, we'll be on our way ♪ 7 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:38,122 ♪ And we don't care where we land ♪ 8 00:00:38,164 --> 00:00:41,751 ♪ And the waves are high, but we won't turn round ♪ 9 00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:44,628 ♪ 'Cause your hand is in my hand ♪ 10 00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:46,338 ♪ And, oh-oh ♪ 11 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:49,341 ♪ You make me feel invincible ♪ 12 00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:53,262 ♪ 'Cause it's you and me ♪ 13 00:00:53,304 --> 00:00:56,182 ♪ Through the wind and hail ♪ 14 00:00:56,223 --> 00:01:01,312 ♪ Setting sail into the world. ♪ 15 00:01:06,776 --> 00:01:08,778 ♪ ♪ 16 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,586 ♪ ♪ 17 00:01:29,924 --> 00:01:32,718 - Facebook or Twitter? - Wait, it's my turn. 18 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,221 - Star Trek or Star Wars? - Sorry. Star Wars. 19 00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:37,139 Okay. And Facebook. 20 00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:38,891 Indiana Jones or... 21 00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:40,434 Oh, please don't say Luke Skywalker. 22 00:01:40,476 --> 00:01:41,602 I wasn't gonna. 23 00:01:41,644 --> 00:01:43,771 Indiana Jones or Grace Jones? 24 00:01:43,813 --> 00:01:46,482 Grace, of course. Amazing Grace. 25 00:01:46,524 --> 00:01:49,151 - Welcome. - Thank you. 26 00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:51,737 - You're my first guest. - I'm honored. 27 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:54,031 - Give me the tour? - Bed's going here. 28 00:01:54,073 --> 00:01:56,033 - Lounge area. - Uh-huh. 29 00:01:56,075 --> 00:01:58,077 - And... kitchen. - Sorry. 30 00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,745 Bathroom's through there. 31 00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:02,748 Okay. And all that for what? You said $2,200 a month? 32 00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,917 What a time to be alive. 33 00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:06,877 - Drinks? - Yeah. Absolutely. 34 00:02:06,919 --> 00:02:09,463 It's really cozy, though. I like it. 35 00:02:09,505 --> 00:02:10,923 Plus, no more roommates. 36 00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:12,800 You're like a real adult person. 37 00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:15,010 I'm so grown-up I don't even have a bedtime. 38 00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:17,263 (laughs) So what do you got? 39 00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:20,015 I got cherry brandy. 40 00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,725 Okay. 41 00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:24,144 - Chilli vodka. - Bizarre. 42 00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:26,021 - Old gifts. - Hmm. 43 00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:30,067 Oh, I have gin and... vermouth. 44 00:02:30,109 --> 00:02:31,485 - Martinis? - Approved. 45 00:02:31,527 --> 00:02:33,153 Perfect. 46 00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:38,033 - Olives or onions? - Olives. 47 00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:39,660 Red state or blue? 48 00:02:39,702 --> 00:02:43,873 Oh. Eh, let's maybe stay off politics. 49 00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:45,916 No. Rule is you got to answer. 50 00:02:45,958 --> 00:02:49,670 Well, uh, I'm from a red state, 51 00:02:49,712 --> 00:02:52,298 but I live in a blue one, 52 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:56,719 so I kind of straddle the political divide. 53 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,554 Like a good libertarian? 54 00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:01,140 Or a very confused person. 55 00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:07,104 (romantic jazz music playing) 56 00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:13,777 - What? - You know when 57 00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:16,155 you move into a place and you visualize 58 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,699 this whole new amazing life for yourself? 59 00:03:18,741 --> 00:03:20,492 Yeah. 60 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,119 Well, this looks pretty close. 61 00:03:26,916 --> 00:03:29,418 Oh, no, wait. I'm posting this. 62 00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:32,922 (camera clicks) 63 00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:43,807 Seriously? 64 00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:45,184 Oh, no. 65 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,769 - I was just... - What? 66 00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:48,479 Tidying. 67 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,398 I have no game. 68 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:56,153 Maybe your no-game game is the most cunning game of all. 69 00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:57,863 Yeah, I've heard of the no-game game. 70 00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:59,281 That's not what I have. 71 00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:01,283 (sighs) 72 00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:03,243 I actually believe you. 73 00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:08,165 Can we just forget that that happened? 74 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,961 - Okay. Sure. - (exhales) Okay. 75 00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:13,629 Here. 76 00:04:13,671 --> 00:04:16,173 - Uh, to your new amazing life. - (both chuckle) 77 00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:22,805 (groans softly): Ooh. 78 00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:24,848 (siren wailing in distance) 79 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,939 (sighs) 80 00:04:31,981 --> 00:04:34,108 Well, now it's just lying there on the floor 81 00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:36,652 like a piece of raw meat. 82 00:04:36,694 --> 00:04:38,445 Pretty much. 83 00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:42,241 Yasmine, I just... I really had no expectation 84 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:45,202 that this... would happen tonight. 85 00:04:45,244 --> 00:04:48,330 Well, it's happening. 86 00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:50,082 But there's... (laughs) 87 00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:53,252 literally no way I can make a move now. 88 00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:56,296 Fine. 89 00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:57,756 (sets down glass) 90 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,731 (both chuckle) 91 00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:15,232 (sets down glass) 92 00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:27,494 Topless or bottomless? 93 00:05:27,536 --> 00:05:29,496 Topless. 94 00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:35,252 Oh, no. Wait, I thought that you meant on you. 95 00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:37,671 Oh, you want to change your answer? 96 00:05:37,713 --> 00:05:39,757 - Okay. - (both chuckle) 97 00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:42,176 Boxers or briefs? 98 00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:43,844 I can't remember. 99 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,642 (unzipping) 100 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,853 Mm. (chuckles) 101 00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:58,150 ♪ ♪ 102 00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:04,823 I'll be right back. Okay? 103 00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:11,497 Sorry, no curtains yet. 104 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:13,832 - (whistles) - (laughs) 105 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,835 (door closes) 106 00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:19,338 (shoes dropping on floor) 107 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,801 (sniffs, clears throat) 108 00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:33,268 (grunts) 109 00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:43,904 If you're not back in two minutes, 110 00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:45,656 I'm gonna get started on my own. 111 00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,162 (chuckles softly) 112 00:06:52,204 --> 00:06:53,705 Really? 113 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:56,625 - This is me at my most inviting. - Hmm. 114 00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,585 - It might need some work. - Oh, yeah? 115 00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:01,213 Well, how about this? (grunts) 116 00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:02,881 - (laughing) - (groaning) 117 00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:07,261 - (panting) - Are you okay? 118 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,684 Oh. Don't... 119 00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:16,478 Don't. (gasps) 120 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,065 Call 911. 121 00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:24,361 Shit. 122 00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:26,864 (breathing heavily) 123 00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:29,366 Yes, ambulance, please. He's cut his arm badly. 124 00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:30,826 There's lots of blood everywhere. 125 00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:32,244 Okay. Ad-Address. 126 00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:34,413 507 East 10th Street, Apartment 1C. 127 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,706 Did you hear that? 128 00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:36,957 Okay, perfect. 129 00:07:36,999 --> 00:07:38,292 - They're on their way. - Okay. 130 00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:40,335 ♪ ♪ 131 00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:45,966 Okay. 132 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,220 Um, help me with these. They're still halfway down. 133 00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:52,890 - Or maybe they're halfway up. - (both chuckle) 134 00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:55,142 - There you go. - Ooh. 135 00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:57,311 Glass half full or glass half empty? 136 00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:58,687 Let's play this game later, yeah? 137 00:07:58,729 --> 00:07:59,938 - Okay. - Okay. 138 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,399 (doorbell buzzing) 139 00:08:02,441 --> 00:08:03,859 - Yasmine. - What? 140 00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:05,110 - Dress. - Huh? 141 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,905 - Towel. - Yes. 142 00:08:07,946 --> 00:08:09,948 (doorbell buzzing) 143 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,869 - Okay. - (doorbell buzzing) 144 00:08:13,911 --> 00:08:16,038 No. No, no, no. Give me the towel. 145 00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:18,498 - Oh. - Go. 146 00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:20,542 (siren wailing) 147 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,882 You know, this isn't the first time 148 00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:28,884 that a date ended in the hospital. 149 00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:30,594 I once had some undercooked chicken 150 00:08:30,636 --> 00:08:33,055 that gave me hallucinations and a temperature of 104. 151 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:35,057 You should be really relaxed about all this. 152 00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:37,059 I am. (laughs) 153 00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:38,936 - How old are you? - I'm 31. 154 00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:43,440 33. I'm sorry. I don't know why I lied just then. 155 00:08:43,482 --> 00:08:45,317 I do. 156 00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:48,237 - Are you on any medication? - Yeah. 157 00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:51,198 Klonopin. For anxiety. 158 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,283 And antidepressants. 159 00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:54,493 PARAMEDIC: Okay. 160 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,120 Is he your... what? Boyfriend? 161 00:08:57,162 --> 00:08:58,747 Uh, friend. 162 00:08:58,789 --> 00:09:00,999 It's our second date. 163 00:09:02,918 --> 00:09:06,296 I'm not a cutter, by the way. This isn't a sex injury. 164 00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:08,632 I mean, not a weird one. 165 00:09:08,674 --> 00:09:11,260 - Hey, why are you still talking, Rob? - I don't know. 166 00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,303 (siren wailing) 167 00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,225 - Any allergies? - No. 168 00:09:18,267 --> 00:09:21,520 - When was the last time you ate? - Four, uh, five hours ago. 169 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,730 Seafood pasta. Was very good. 170 00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:26,441 NURSE: Okay. Um, previous surgeries? 171 00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:28,360 I broke my cheekbone once. Came off a bike. 172 00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:29,611 Mm-hmm. 173 00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:31,738 Get those blinds for me. 174 00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:36,618 - NURSE: Okay. I'm gonna get this. - (Rob clears throat) 175 00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:41,999 - Up. - Okay. 176 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,667 - These are coming off? - Down. 177 00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:44,960 Yeah, okay. (winces) 178 00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:49,798 - Got it? - Yep. Okay, leg. 179 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:51,466 Okay. 180 00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,385 Want me to lock this stuff away for you? 181 00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:55,012 I'll take them. 182 00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:59,516 I know exactly how much money is in there. 183 00:10:04,021 --> 00:10:05,856 Okay. 184 00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:08,317 (Rob sighs) 185 00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:10,610 - Keep that elevated. - Ah. 186 00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:12,195 (monitor beeping steadily) 187 00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:15,907 Okay, Rob. 188 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:19,494 I'd like you to count backwards slowly from ten. 189 00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:22,289 Ten, nine, 190 00:10:22,331 --> 00:10:25,167 eight, seven... 191 00:10:27,169 --> 00:10:28,879 six... 192 00:10:30,881 --> 00:10:32,799 (softly): five... 193 00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:42,934 Hmm. 194 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,812 (phone clicking) 195 00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:54,696 Don't worry. It's still there. 196 00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:56,990 (sighs, coughs softly) 197 00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,953 (Rob groans) 198 00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,291 (Rob slurping quietly) 199 00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:11,546 Oh, you're awake. I'm Nick. 200 00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:14,132 I'm just gonna take your blood pressure. 201 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,550 Okay. 202 00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:17,594 Let me see. 203 00:11:17,636 --> 00:11:19,805 (Velcro rips) 204 00:11:21,056 --> 00:11:23,600 Surgery went well. Doctor was pleased. 205 00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:25,060 Oh, great. 206 00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:27,270 Median nerve damage can be tricky to repair. 207 00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:29,356 (air pumping) 208 00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:32,150 You might have a sore throat and a dry mouth from the anesthetic, 209 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,610 so keep drinking plenty of water. 210 00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:35,278 I'll make sure he does. 211 00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:39,116 - Okay. - (Velcro rips) 212 00:11:40,575 --> 00:11:42,577 - Thank you. - Yeah. 213 00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:45,872 How long till I can be discharged? 214 00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:48,917 Oh, not long. Six hours or so. 215 00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:55,799 (laughs) 216 00:11:55,841 --> 00:11:57,259 So... 217 00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:58,802 Look, you should just go. 218 00:11:58,844 --> 00:12:00,637 That's a... Six hours is a lot. 219 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:02,639 Rob, please. 220 00:12:02,681 --> 00:12:04,307 Of course I'll stay. 221 00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:06,184 You'd stay if the roles were reversed. 222 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,936 Absolutely, I would. 223 00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:10,105 You wouldn't even need to be in the hospital. 224 00:12:10,147 --> 00:12:12,149 I'd watch you sleep on a park bench. 225 00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:14,359 Besides, we're still on our date. 226 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:17,154 I am calling this an intermission. 227 00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:19,489 I've been live-blogging it on social media. 228 00:12:19,531 --> 00:12:21,575 Well, tell 'em to retake their seats. 229 00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:24,327 Okay. Act two's about to begin. 230 00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:31,251 So... 231 00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:33,462 Glass half full or glass half empty? 232 00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:35,046 (laughs) 233 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,506 Half full. 234 00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:38,758 Jets or Giants? 235 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,844 Neither. Steelers. 236 00:12:40,886 --> 00:12:43,805 Out of sight or out of mind? 237 00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:46,600 Out of mind. 238 00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:48,727 They're getting very abstract. 239 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,187 It might be the drugs. 240 00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:53,315 What about the other drugs? 241 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,237 I get anxiety attacks. 242 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,239 Hmm. 243 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,325 "Attacks" is the wrong word. 244 00:13:05,327 --> 00:13:08,830 For some people, it's like a storm. 245 00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:13,210 But... for me, it's more like a fog rolling in. 246 00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:17,881 I kind of... shut down, 247 00:13:17,923 --> 00:13:21,009 and I can't really function in a social situation. 248 00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:23,637 I was going to tell you. I just... 249 00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:26,681 Yeah. It's not something you offer up until you have to. 250 00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,433 Exactly. (chuckles softly) 251 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:32,604 Anyway... you seem all calm now. 252 00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:34,189 - (phone vibrates) - Thanks. 253 00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:35,815 - (clears throat) - I'd be freaking out 254 00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:37,859 if you weren't here, though. 255 00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:42,572 Any good responses? 256 00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:46,535 87 likes and 17 comments so far. 257 00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:48,328 Talk of the town. 258 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:55,502 Oh, um, I left out your name, just in case you're worried. 259 00:13:55,544 --> 00:13:57,712 So, what are you calling me, then? 260 00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:59,965 How about "Martini Lover"? 261 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,800 I like "Martini Lover." 262 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,511 It's got that quality of 263 00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:06,513 slightly decadent espionage 264 00:14:06,555 --> 00:14:09,015 that people always associate me with. 265 00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:10,475 Done. 266 00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:14,604 You should be going out with a martini lover. 267 00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:17,899 "Rob" is too ordinary somehow. 268 00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:21,069 (dramatically): Yasmine and... 269 00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:22,946 (nasally): Rob. 270 00:14:22,988 --> 00:14:27,701 Maybe we just need to rebrand Rob. 271 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,121 Like "New Rob." 272 00:14:31,162 --> 00:14:34,749 Oh, I can't believe Old Rob ever got this far. 273 00:14:36,293 --> 00:14:39,588 Guys will check you out and then pull focus to me, 274 00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:43,300 and they're all thinking, "No, he is never with her." 275 00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:45,218 I think that's in your head. 276 00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:49,598 Meanwhile, I'm asking myself, "Well, do I seem nervous? 277 00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:52,017 "Eh, will obsessing about being nervous 278 00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:54,019 "make me appear more nervous? 279 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,854 Does she think I'm a total nerd?" 280 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,480 Everyone does that, Rob. 281 00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:59,691 But for me, it's paralyzing. 282 00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:03,528 And so, I have no bandwidth left for the actual experience. 283 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,572 Does that make sense? 284 00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:10,201 (toilet flushes) 285 00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:15,206 (sighs): Oh. 286 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:17,250 I suppose I'll have a scar. 287 00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:19,836 - Souvenir. - I guess it's better than 288 00:15:19,878 --> 00:15:23,298 getting your name tattooed on my arm. (chuckles) 289 00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:24,799 A guy did that for me once. 290 00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:27,093 Why am I not surprised? Is that your ex? 291 00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:29,387 Mm-hmm. 292 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,930 Do you mind? 293 00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:32,349 - Uh, no. Go ahead. - Oh. 294 00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:33,933 (urine sloshing) 295 00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:35,602 Number one, right? 296 00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:40,649 I'm earthy. I'm not a barbarian. (chuckles) 297 00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:44,361 (sighs) It's like we've fast-forwarded years somehow. 298 00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:46,112 (toilet flushes) 299 00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:47,864 How do you mean? 300 00:15:49,824 --> 00:15:52,577 People are so concerned to put on this big front normally, 301 00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:55,955 but now you've seen me at my most vulnerable. 302 00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:58,208 Frightened, bleeding... 303 00:15:58,249 --> 00:15:59,918 - Naked. - Exactly. 304 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,003 It's my worst fear realized. 305 00:16:02,045 --> 00:16:04,714 And it's not that bad. 306 00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:07,967 ♪ ♪ 307 00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:11,179 So, when I had my bike accident, I must have gone ass over tit, 308 00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:13,264 because the next thing I remember is waking up 309 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,392 in an ambulance with my face out to here. 310 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:17,394 - Oh. Oh, no. - And the surgeon is saying 311 00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:19,854 that they're gonna put a little incision in my head 312 00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:21,523 to go in with a little spoon 313 00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:23,525 to lift the cheekbone back into place. 314 00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:25,402 Okay, well, that doesn't sound that bad. 315 00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:27,278 Just as I'm getting the anesthetic, 316 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,824 they explain that this procedure doesn't always work. 317 00:16:30,865 --> 00:16:32,534 Okay, so what's the alternative? 318 00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:34,869 Alternative is they have to put a steel plate in. 319 00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:37,288 - Okay? - But to do that, 320 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,332 they have to slice you from ear to ear 321 00:16:39,374 --> 00:16:41,126 across the top of your head, 322 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,169 - and then peel your face off. - No, no, no, no! Stop, stop, 323 00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:45,213 - stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. - And just as they're telling me this, 324 00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:48,049 - one of the great panic attacks of my career is kicking off. -Aah! 325 00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:50,635 And then the drugs take hold, and I'm off to la-la land. 326 00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:52,595 Okay, well, everyone would react the same way. 327 00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:54,681 Yeah, maybe. As it turns out, 328 00:16:54,723 --> 00:16:57,767 Plan A worked fine. Scary, though. 329 00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:06,025 I can't tell which one you broke. 330 00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:08,445 - Good. - Which one is it? 331 00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:09,988 This one. 332 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,866 - They did a good job. - Thank you. 333 00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,717 ROB: Jesus. 334 00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:32,635 Last of the Mohicans. 335 00:17:34,763 --> 00:17:36,973 My father used to smoke like that 336 00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:38,475 before he died. 337 00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:39,976 ROB: I'm sorry. 338 00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:41,978 (knife scraping on apple) 339 00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:44,522 - Was that the... - Cause of death? 340 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,191 Didn't help. 341 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:48,610 Was he sick for long? 342 00:17:48,651 --> 00:17:50,361 You really want to hear the story? 343 00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:54,449 The short version is he had a massive brain hemorrhage. 344 00:17:56,034 --> 00:17:58,369 And the long version? 345 00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,833 It was my 30th birthday. 346 00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:05,835 Um... 347 00:18:05,877 --> 00:18:08,671 we had a big party... lots of family and friends. 348 00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:11,716 Finally crawled into bed at my boyfriend's at about 6:00. 349 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,635 The next morning, my father made breakfast 350 00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:16,012 and brought it up to my mother in bed. 351 00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:18,890 She told me afterwards that they made love, 352 00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:20,934 and then he dozed off while she showered. 353 00:18:20,975 --> 00:18:24,854 When she came out, his face had collapsed 354 00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:27,607 and, uh, his speech was slurred. 355 00:18:27,649 --> 00:18:30,777 She called an ambulance, but there was nothing to be done. 356 00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:48,753 At the hospital, I sat with him the whole time. 357 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,466 I remember going for a walk 358 00:18:53,508 --> 00:18:56,177 while the nurse gave him a bed bath. 359 00:18:56,219 --> 00:18:59,556 As she was finishing, I saw him through the curtains. 360 00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:04,018 He was naked, 361 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:08,064 hooked up to all these machines, but he was so beautiful. 362 00:19:10,233 --> 00:19:12,777 Like some Pietà by Michelangelo. 363 00:19:15,113 --> 00:19:18,867 Anyway, he died an hour later. 364 00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,078 (clears throat) 365 00:19:24,038 --> 00:19:25,999 (Yasmine sighs) 366 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,750 You sure you don't want something? 367 00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:30,837 I can't eat yet. I'll just get some water. 368 00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:32,505 - Let me get it. - No, no. It's fine. 369 00:19:32,547 --> 00:19:33,965 I'll get it. I can do it. 370 00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:35,383 - You sure? - Yeah. 371 00:19:38,136 --> 00:19:40,513 ♪ ♪ 372 00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:43,725 (Yasmine sniffles) 373 00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:46,603 Hey, how are you? 374 00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:49,772 (Rob groaning) 375 00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:51,816 (water pouring) 376 00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:10,919 (laughing) 377 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,546 (groans softly): Ah. 378 00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:15,882 - I'm not getting you another. - (laughs) 379 00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:17,967 - Fair. - (both laugh) 380 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:24,265 Do you ever wonder what kind of disabled person you'd be? 381 00:20:24,307 --> 00:20:26,434 (stifled laugh) 382 00:20:26,476 --> 00:20:28,978 - See, that's the kind of crap I fixate on. -(laughs) 383 00:20:29,020 --> 00:20:31,856 - And what did you decide? - Oh, I'd be awful. 384 00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:34,192 I'd be consumed by anger and self-pity. 385 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:36,110 I'd certainly become an alcoholic. 386 00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:37,403 You mean a full-blown one? 387 00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:40,323 Ow. That stings more than my arm. 388 00:20:40,365 --> 00:20:41,741 Sorry. 389 00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:43,451 Low-hanging fruit. 390 00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:46,788 I'd spend years in pointless litigation. 391 00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:48,373 You're so hard on yourself. 392 00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:50,959 And then, if any woman ever showed me any kindness, 393 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,251 I'd make them regret it instantly. 394 00:20:52,293 --> 00:20:54,212 (laughs) How so? 395 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:57,340 Like, I would willfully mistake it for romantic attention, 396 00:20:57,382 --> 00:21:00,843 and then I'd become enraged if they didn't follow through. 397 00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:02,637 Like, full incel. 398 00:21:02,679 --> 00:21:05,723 Uh, I don't know you very well, 399 00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,558 but this doesn't sound like you. 400 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,560 Just thank God this wound is gonna heal, 401 00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:11,729 for all our sakes. 402 00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:15,149 So, what kind of disabled person do you think I'd be? 403 00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:17,568 Oh. (chuckles) You'd be an inspiration. 404 00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,404 - Would I, now? (laughs) - For sure. 405 00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:21,239 You'd adjust really quickly. 406 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,199 - You'd throw yourself into advocacy. - (snorts) 407 00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:25,201 You'd be on the Paralympic archery team. 408 00:21:25,243 --> 00:21:27,704 - There'd be TED Talks and cosmetics contracts. -(laughs) Oh. 409 00:21:27,745 --> 00:21:29,789 All right, all right, you might be overreaching. 410 00:21:29,831 --> 00:21:33,001 No, you'd be, like, completely redefining beauty standards 411 00:21:33,042 --> 00:21:34,836 for the 21st century. 412 00:21:34,877 --> 00:21:37,463 - You're ridiculous. - I'm also high. 413 00:21:37,505 --> 00:21:39,424 (chuckles softly) 414 00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:44,721 Thank you. 415 00:21:46,889 --> 00:21:48,850 ROB: Didn't know you smoked. 416 00:21:48,891 --> 00:21:50,435 I don't, really. 417 00:21:50,476 --> 00:21:52,478 This is disgusting. 418 00:21:56,357 --> 00:21:59,152 Can I ask you something serious? 419 00:21:59,193 --> 00:22:00,570 Sure. 420 00:22:00,611 --> 00:22:02,363 What happened with your boyfriend? 421 00:22:03,781 --> 00:22:05,867 We hadn't known each other that long, 422 00:22:05,908 --> 00:22:08,786 and we were suddenly into this really intense thing. 423 00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:10,621 That's good sometimes, no? 424 00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:12,290 Was asking a lot. 425 00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:15,043 - I was pretty hard to be around. - No. 426 00:22:15,084 --> 00:22:18,212 I think you have a slightly false impression of me. 427 00:22:18,254 --> 00:22:20,256 How? 428 00:22:20,298 --> 00:22:23,509 Well... (sighs) take this evening. 429 00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:26,220 I seem like a total hero for staying up all night with you, 430 00:22:26,262 --> 00:22:27,722 - right? - Well... 431 00:22:27,764 --> 00:22:30,391 To everyone online, I seem so considerate. 432 00:22:30,433 --> 00:22:32,393 But what am I gonna do, 433 00:22:32,435 --> 00:22:34,687 go to a nightclub and check on you tomorrow? 434 00:22:34,729 --> 00:22:36,898 When you put it like that, uh... 435 00:22:36,939 --> 00:22:41,319 It's a bit too important to me, though, that perception. 436 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,863 Now you're just being hard on yourself. 437 00:22:43,905 --> 00:22:46,115 This isn't easy to admit, 438 00:22:46,157 --> 00:22:48,201 but you've been so honest with me. 439 00:22:48,242 --> 00:22:50,578 Everyone likes attention, Yasmine. 440 00:22:50,620 --> 00:22:54,540 Yeah, but 87 likes is a big disappointment. 441 00:22:57,251 --> 00:22:58,878 Okay. 442 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,881 I want your neighbors to see me through the windows 443 00:23:01,923 --> 00:23:04,467 and desire me. 444 00:23:04,509 --> 00:23:06,552 I want that paramedic to think 445 00:23:06,594 --> 00:23:09,388 I'm the funniest girl he's ever met. 446 00:23:09,430 --> 00:23:12,558 Why this need to make strangers fall in love with me? 447 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,060 What's the difference? 448 00:23:14,102 --> 00:23:16,229 - It's harmless. - It's manipulative. 449 00:23:16,270 --> 00:23:18,272 But so long as you're aware of it. 450 00:23:18,314 --> 00:23:21,234 - That comment you made about guys checking me out. -(chuckles) 451 00:23:21,275 --> 00:23:22,902 You can't help that, surely. 452 00:23:22,944 --> 00:23:24,320 Oh, I can. (chuckles) 453 00:23:24,362 --> 00:23:26,447 I'm doing it. 454 00:23:28,783 --> 00:23:30,993 What? 455 00:23:32,787 --> 00:23:35,790 Okay. My friends and I used to do this thing on the Metro, 456 00:23:35,832 --> 00:23:37,291 as teenagers. 457 00:23:37,333 --> 00:23:39,127 If you're going down the escalator, 458 00:23:39,168 --> 00:23:41,379 we'd compete to get the most guys to notice us. 459 00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:43,464 ROB: How? 460 00:23:43,506 --> 00:23:45,299 YASMINE: Eye contact. 461 00:23:45,341 --> 00:23:46,968 A smile. 462 00:23:47,009 --> 00:23:48,928 That's all it takes. 463 00:23:48,970 --> 00:23:51,973 I have noticed that, actually. 464 00:23:52,014 --> 00:23:54,016 So did my ex. 465 00:23:56,185 --> 00:23:58,146 He'd call me on it. 466 00:23:58,187 --> 00:24:02,024 I'd get defensive, convince him that he was paranoid. 467 00:24:02,066 --> 00:24:04,193 It was pretty shitty of me. 468 00:24:04,235 --> 00:24:07,155 Hmm. 469 00:24:07,196 --> 00:24:08,906 You're right, you know. 470 00:24:08,948 --> 00:24:11,576 I'm really good at dating, 471 00:24:11,617 --> 00:24:14,620 but I'm also hard to be around long-term. 472 00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:19,333 So we decided to take a break. 473 00:24:19,375 --> 00:24:21,752 Oh. 474 00:24:21,794 --> 00:24:24,338 Okay. 475 00:24:24,380 --> 00:24:26,340 When was this? 476 00:24:26,382 --> 00:24:28,551 A few weeks ago. 477 00:24:28,593 --> 00:24:30,970 Oh. 478 00:24:32,346 --> 00:24:33,931 I'm sorry. 479 00:24:33,973 --> 00:24:37,226 No. It's okay. It's... 480 00:24:37,268 --> 00:24:39,187 (chuckles): You know, I mean, 481 00:24:39,228 --> 00:24:42,899 we never really talked about... anything serious. 482 00:24:42,940 --> 00:24:45,443 Just small talk. 483 00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:48,404 Well, it's certainly big talk now. 484 00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:01,626 ("People Talking" by Robert John Ardiff playing) 485 00:25:20,811 --> 00:25:22,480 ROB: Did you get in and out okay? 486 00:25:22,521 --> 00:25:23,981 Oh. Yes. 487 00:25:24,023 --> 00:25:25,983 I've put some clothes in the closet for you. 488 00:25:26,025 --> 00:25:28,444 - Thanks. - Mm-hmm. 489 00:25:29,487 --> 00:25:32,949 ♪ People talking ♪ 490 00:25:32,990 --> 00:25:36,702 ♪ People strange ♪ 491 00:25:36,744 --> 00:25:40,665 ♪ Cracked a code to ♪ 492 00:25:40,706 --> 00:25:43,876 ♪ The human brain ♪ 493 00:25:43,918 --> 00:25:47,255 ♪ And try to wrestle ♪ 494 00:25:47,296 --> 00:25:51,008 ♪ Thoughts into place ♪ 495 00:25:51,050 --> 00:25:55,012 ♪ Before your body ♪ 496 00:25:55,054 --> 00:25:58,140 ♪ Goes astray ♪ 497 00:25:59,934 --> 00:26:03,271 ♪ If you want it ♪ 498 00:26:03,312 --> 00:26:06,190 ♪ Play the game ♪ 499 00:26:06,232 --> 00:26:10,820 ♪ If you feel it ♪ 500 00:26:10,861 --> 00:26:13,572 ♪ Try to stay ♪ 501 00:26:13,614 --> 00:26:17,576 ♪ I've been wonderin' ♪ 502 00:26:17,618 --> 00:26:21,747 ♪ Will you stay the same? ♪ 503 00:26:21,789 --> 00:26:25,376 - ♪ People talking ♪ - (grunts) 504 00:26:25,418 --> 00:26:28,254 ♪ People strange ♪ 505 00:26:28,296 --> 00:26:30,506 How was the apartment? 506 00:26:30,548 --> 00:26:32,758 Like the Manson murders crime scene. 507 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,094 (chuckles) 508 00:26:35,136 --> 00:26:37,513 ♪ ♪ 509 00:26:39,223 --> 00:26:42,059 (siren wailing) 510 00:26:44,312 --> 00:26:47,898 - ♪ You're just special ♪ - (yawns) 511 00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:51,610 ♪ Because you're sane ♪ 512 00:26:51,652 --> 00:26:55,448 ♪ That old monster on your shoulder ♪ 513 00:26:55,489 --> 00:26:57,783 ♪ Won't go away ♪ 514 00:26:59,201 --> 00:27:02,204 ♪ Pass the whiskey ♪ 515 00:27:02,246 --> 00:27:05,583 ♪ I'll drink it straight ♪ 516 00:27:06,959 --> 00:27:10,463 ♪ Holy, holy ♪ 517 00:27:10,504 --> 00:27:13,424 ♪ Beyond the pale. ♪ 518 00:27:15,426 --> 00:27:17,261 Coffee? 519 00:27:17,303 --> 00:27:19,305 Thanks. 520 00:27:21,057 --> 00:27:23,768 - Danish or strudel? - Mm. I don't care. 521 00:27:23,809 --> 00:27:26,771 Rule is you got to answer. 522 00:27:26,812 --> 00:27:28,814 Danish, then. 523 00:27:30,566 --> 00:27:32,568 Thank you. 524 00:27:37,656 --> 00:27:40,076 What a gorgeous scene. 525 00:27:40,117 --> 00:27:42,078 Yeah. 526 00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:45,956 I'm impressed you've fought the urge to put it on Instagram. 527 00:27:45,998 --> 00:27:48,501 I would, but my battery's dead. 528 00:27:52,671 --> 00:27:54,298 Yeah. 529 00:27:54,340 --> 00:27:56,759 I got to say, I... 530 00:27:56,801 --> 00:28:01,222 I had fantasized about you staying over 531 00:28:01,263 --> 00:28:03,265 and us getting breakfast. 532 00:28:04,767 --> 00:28:07,269 It was a little different in my imagination. 533 00:28:07,311 --> 00:28:09,397 Well, that could still happen. 534 00:28:09,438 --> 00:28:11,482 Really? Even after tonight? 535 00:28:11,524 --> 00:28:13,401 Please, don't have an anxiety attack. 536 00:28:13,442 --> 00:28:15,569 Ooh. Shots fired. 537 00:28:15,611 --> 00:28:20,032 Meantime, this is good. 538 00:28:20,074 --> 00:28:22,827 No? 539 00:28:22,868 --> 00:28:25,788 Better than good. 540 00:28:25,830 --> 00:28:29,542 Here. To your new, amazing life. 541 00:28:29,583 --> 00:28:33,212 (chuckles) Oh, the apartment. 542 00:28:33,254 --> 00:28:36,132 - Oh, my God. - I'll help you clean up. 543 00:28:36,173 --> 00:28:38,509 - Will you help me move out? - (laughs) 544 00:28:40,219 --> 00:28:42,430 Can we just sit here a bit? 545 00:28:44,432 --> 00:28:45,850 Sure. 546 00:28:47,601 --> 00:28:50,062 But I might need to lay down. 547 00:28:50,104 --> 00:28:52,106 - Is it okay? - Mm-hmm. 548 00:28:57,862 --> 00:28:59,822 Will you hold that for a sec? 549 00:28:59,864 --> 00:29:01,866 - Sure. - Thanks. 550 00:29:04,785 --> 00:29:06,704 - What are you... - I'm trying to... 551 00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:08,080 - Let me. (laughs) - Would you? 552 00:29:08,122 --> 00:29:09,582 - I can't do it. - (sighs) 553 00:29:09,623 --> 00:29:12,877 - Thank you. Very sweet. - Yeah. 554 00:29:12,918 --> 00:29:15,546 ♪ ♪ 555 00:29:18,716 --> 00:29:20,342 (Yasmine sighs) 556 00:29:27,183 --> 00:29:29,185 (Rob sighs) 557 00:29:31,228 --> 00:29:33,647 - Can I say something? - Hmm? 558 00:29:35,983 --> 00:29:39,904 I really appreciate this. 559 00:29:39,945 --> 00:29:42,698 - Mm. - No, I mean it. 560 00:29:42,740 --> 00:29:45,743 I-I-I know that we've only just now met 561 00:29:45,784 --> 00:29:47,828 and nothing has really happened. 562 00:29:47,870 --> 00:29:50,956 And I know that you're just out of an intense relationship, 563 00:29:50,998 --> 00:29:56,128 and I'm not really, probably, you know, a long-term prospect. 564 00:29:56,170 --> 00:30:00,758 But I just want to say, whatever happens, 565 00:30:00,799 --> 00:30:03,427 this meant something. 566 00:30:03,469 --> 00:30:06,263 Honestly, if I never see you again, 567 00:30:06,305 --> 00:30:08,766 or if you stick around a very long time, 568 00:30:08,807 --> 00:30:12,436 or anything in between those two, it's all... 569 00:30:17,816 --> 00:30:19,652 Yasmine, are you asleep? 570 00:30:19,693 --> 00:30:21,111 Hmm? 571 00:30:23,113 --> 00:30:24,490 What? 572 00:30:24,532 --> 00:30:26,283 How much of that did you hear? 573 00:30:26,325 --> 00:30:29,203 Why are you still talking, Rob? 574 00:30:29,245 --> 00:30:32,748 I don't know. I'm sorry. 575 00:30:35,251 --> 00:30:37,253 I'm good. 576 00:30:43,634 --> 00:30:48,097 ♪ Another year has come and gone ♪ 577 00:30:48,138 --> 00:30:52,351 ♪ Another circle round the sun ♪ 578 00:30:52,393 --> 00:30:55,521 ♪ Another thousand tears have ♪ 579 00:30:55,563 --> 00:30:58,816 ♪ Fallen ♪ 580 00:31:00,985 --> 00:31:04,989 ♪ I don't ever count 'em 'cause ♪ 581 00:31:05,030 --> 00:31:09,285 ♪ I'm surrounded by your love ♪ 582 00:31:09,326 --> 00:31:13,289 ♪ And days are never long enough ♪ 583 00:31:17,334 --> 00:31:22,298 ♪ Four more seasons on parade ♪ 584 00:31:22,339 --> 00:31:26,385 ♪ Show their colors, then they fade ♪ 585 00:31:26,427 --> 00:31:29,054 ♪ But that won't happen to us ♪ 586 00:31:29,096 --> 00:31:33,225 ♪ Darlin' ♪ 587 00:31:34,852 --> 00:31:39,023 ♪ We'll remember how it was ♪ 588 00:31:39,064 --> 00:31:43,360 ♪ Then begin again because ♪ 589 00:31:43,402 --> 00:31:47,823 ♪ Days are never long enough ♪ 590 00:31:50,367 --> 00:31:53,829 ♪ Time's never late ♪ 591 00:31:53,871 --> 00:31:57,833 ♪ Isn't bound by our fate. ♪ 40438

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