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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,719 --> 00:00:19,879 MAN: Right, sorry, so the show's on the 16th. 2 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:23,120 And what... Is it a festival, is it? 3 00:00:26,719 --> 00:00:28,359 How many people would you expect from... 4 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:30,879 From start to finish, how many people would you expect? 5 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:35,359 We'll say 4,000? 6 00:00:35,439 --> 00:00:37,200 Keep it going. 7 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:40,119 No worries. Now, is alcohol being served at the event? 8 00:00:42,079 --> 00:00:44,640 No, it's all being charged. It's a bar, is it? 9 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:47,840 Uh, is there food... is there food being served? 10 00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:51,560 Good quality food, or probably just junk food? 11 00:00:51,679 --> 00:00:54,079 Chips and... pizzas. Yeah. 12 00:00:55,880 --> 00:01:00,079 And, uh, have you got any Indonesian foods or curries? 13 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:02,439 You have? Alright. 14 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:05,120 Well, normally, if it was a non-drinking event, 15 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:06,599 as far as alcohol, 16 00:01:06,719 --> 00:01:08,439 and there was no food or curries, 17 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:10,000 for 4,000 people for 10 hours, 18 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:12,879 you'd have five male and five female blocks. 19 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,879 But you've got alcohol being served, 20 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:19,480 as well as the food and you've got curries in there as well, 21 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:21,200 which does make a bit of a difference. 22 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:26,200 And on the, uh... on the solid to water-based 23 00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:29,519 or liquid waste ratio, 24 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:31,040 you've got a 4 to 1. 25 00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:33,760 So it's basically four liquid to one solid. 26 00:01:33,879 --> 00:01:36,640 That's the piss and shit ratio, yeah. 27 00:01:45,599 --> 00:01:48,519 People... I must admit, when people find out what I do, 28 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:51,200 I mean, when they ask what I do, I say I'm a plumber, 29 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:53,359 and they say, "Well, that'd be pretty interesting", 30 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:54,840 and I say, "Well, not that interesting, 31 00:01:54,959 --> 00:01:56,760 " 'cause all I plumb is shithouses." 32 00:01:56,879 --> 00:01:59,000 As you can see, we've got a lot of blocks here. 33 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,519 We've just gotta find one more combo unit 34 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:02,040 and we're on our way. 35 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:05,799 Where is the bastard? 36 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:08,639 How do you lose a 40ft toilet? 37 00:02:08,759 --> 00:02:11,520 Yeah, most people... they always freak out 38 00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:13,719 because, of course, they think you're handling the stuff. 39 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:15,960 They think... I don't know whether they think I eat it 40 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:18,080 or whether they think I scrub it on meself. 41 00:02:18,159 --> 00:02:19,560 You know, I plumb it. 42 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,560 See? Here's another classic example. 43 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:24,599 Someone having a 2-inch arsehole 44 00:02:24,719 --> 00:02:27,280 and us only having installed 1-inch piping. 45 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:29,479 As much as people think you're covered in shit and piss, 46 00:02:29,599 --> 00:02:30,479 you're not. 47 00:02:30,599 --> 00:02:32,639 It's 85% of it's water. 48 00:02:32,759 --> 00:02:36,039 85 and in some instances up to 90% water. 49 00:02:36,159 --> 00:02:37,520 I know that leaves around 50 00:02:37,599 --> 00:02:39,560 about 10% to 15% of shit and piss, 51 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:42,120 but there's some chemicals in there that work on that. 52 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:45,319 See, this is what we spend half our time cleaning up. 53 00:02:45,439 --> 00:02:46,800 How hard is it? 54 00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:49,479 I mean, I don't mean to be straight up about it, 55 00:02:49,599 --> 00:02:50,960 but, I mean, there's a urinal - 56 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:53,360 you stand here and, being a male, 57 00:02:53,479 --> 00:02:55,800 you've got a prong on you which points forward, 58 00:02:55,919 --> 00:02:58,240 so I don't understand how they get it under their feet. 59 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:00,520 They must point it down. 60 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,800 The funny part is, parents look at me, you know, 61 00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:05,080 and say, "Well, that's not much of a job, is it? 62 00:03:05,199 --> 00:03:06,680 "Did you wish you did something else?" 63 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:08,800 I said, "Well, you had kids. 64 00:03:08,919 --> 00:03:11,840 "You spent the first two years handling their shit. 65 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,560 "And you weren't getting paid for that." 66 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:15,719 And they're...they shit green. 67 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:17,439 Only thing that's supposed to be green 68 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:20,319 is apples, pears and Martians. 69 00:03:23,919 --> 00:03:25,400 Stay there. 70 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:26,439 Yo! 71 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:27,960 That's the one. 72 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:29,919 Pretty lonely old job, this. 73 00:03:30,039 --> 00:03:32,000 We're here before the crowds get here 74 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:33,800 and we're the last to leave. 75 00:03:34,879 --> 00:03:36,840 We miss out on all the fun, don't we, Alf? 76 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:37,879 Yeah. 77 00:03:40,719 --> 00:03:42,919 Yeah, shut her off, Alfie, she's all done, mate. 78 00:03:47,759 --> 00:03:50,680 Just make sure you stock up all the poo tickets, boys. 79 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:52,879 This one's gonna get a flogging today. 80 00:03:55,759 --> 00:03:59,000 Yeah, well, this is where most of the paperwork gets done, 81 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:00,000 obviously. 82 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:04,560 This is the... realistically, the sciatic nerve of Splashdown. 83 00:04:05,639 --> 00:04:08,120 What we do, normally it's corporate bathroom rentals. 84 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:09,759 I mean, at the end of the day, 85 00:04:09,879 --> 00:04:13,840 it's just a fancy way of having somewhere to shit, isn't it? 86 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:15,960 Having a nice place to purge. 87 00:04:16,079 --> 00:04:17,680 But, uh, I mean, other companies... 88 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:19,560 Up in Sydney there's one that has a slogan - 89 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:22,040 `We're number one with your number twos'. 90 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:24,639 I prefer not to spend too long in the office. 91 00:04:24,759 --> 00:04:26,120 I prefer working outside, 92 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:28,360 but this is obviously where the real business end gets done, 93 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:29,399 so to speak. 94 00:04:42,759 --> 00:04:44,519 Doesn't matter how big the event is 95 00:04:44,639 --> 00:04:46,120 or how important the event is, 96 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,319 be it a corporate event or a concert, 97 00:04:48,439 --> 00:04:50,319 you would think that we'd be the first thing 98 00:04:50,439 --> 00:04:51,800 that people would think of 99 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,879 because it's the one thing everyone does on most days - 100 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,879 a la me, 10am, every morning, regular as clockwork. 101 00:04:58,199 --> 00:05:00,360 It's never the first thing on their mind, 102 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:03,680 when, realistically, it should be the first thing they think of, 103 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,240 because if we don't turn up, 104 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,360 grab the business and get going with it, 105 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:09,319 well, they really are in the shit, aren't they? 106 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:44,399 We've got a bit of a drive here 107 00:05:44,519 --> 00:05:46,399 because we've gotta drop this load off 108 00:05:46,519 --> 00:05:49,399 at mama and papa poo in Werribee. 109 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:56,959 Funny thing is, a lot of people use the word 'shit' now 110 00:05:57,079 --> 00:05:59,920 of course as an abusive word, you know, as a swear word - 111 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:01,920 the sort of word you wanna keep away from kiddies. 112 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:04,360 But the funny part is, where it came from 113 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:07,600 was when they started to transport manure in the ships 114 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:09,720 so they could use it to fertilise gardens. 115 00:06:09,839 --> 00:06:12,120 Problem was, moisture would get in from the boat, 116 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:13,600 into the bottom of the boat 117 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:16,560 and mix up with some of the manure they were transporting, 118 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,560 and it would start to ferment and it would cause a gas, 119 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,040 and the problem was 120 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:22,839 if someone went down there with a candle 121 00:06:22,959 --> 00:06:25,240 or lit a match or had a pipe or something down there, 122 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:27,920 sometimes it ignited and there was an explosion on the boat. 123 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,399 After that, they put all the crap in boxes 124 00:06:30,519 --> 00:06:33,800 and it had 'SHIT' written on the side of the box 125 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:36,480 and that stood for 'Store High In Transit'. 126 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:38,160 And that's where it got its name from. 127 00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:39,800 So... I don't know whether there's any truth 128 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:41,279 to that story or not, 129 00:06:41,399 --> 00:06:44,000 but it's a pretty elaborate, you know, lie. 130 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:47,120 Bit of a long-winded set-up if someone's made that story up. 131 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,639 I'm going with it. 132 00:06:49,959 --> 00:06:53,279 Yeah, so, I'm having to work a little bit of overtime tonight 133 00:06:53,399 --> 00:06:56,480 just to get a couple of extra toilets ready. 134 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:58,480 We've got a heap of them going out next week. 135 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:01,279 As you can see, the kids... I don't know what they do. 136 00:07:01,399 --> 00:07:03,720 They've broken through that one. They do all sorts... 137 00:07:03,839 --> 00:07:06,040 Oh, have a look at this one. You won't believe this. 138 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,480 Have a look at this. This one I replaced this morning. 139 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:10,800 Look at that! Eh? 140 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,240 What kind of curry has that bloke been eating? 141 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:16,519 Devil's curry. Hell's teeth, I tell you. 142 00:07:16,639 --> 00:07:20,000 I've never understood why people all carry on about it. 143 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:23,079 I... I enjoy a good crap, to be quite honest. 144 00:07:23,199 --> 00:07:25,360 I not only enjoy it, I love it. 145 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:28,279 I don't think it's all pain and anger. 146 00:07:28,399 --> 00:07:32,000 Me, personally, I sit on a toilet for 20-odd minutes, 147 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:33,480 as most men can. 148 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,079 Do you know, it's an interesting fact, 149 00:07:35,199 --> 00:07:36,560 as far as smells, 150 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:38,800 apparently your body only is in shock - 151 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:40,360 and sometimes it is shock - 152 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:43,160 for about the first 7 to 12 seconds or something, 153 00:07:43,279 --> 00:07:45,240 and after that you get used to it very quickly. 154 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:47,199 That's why a man can read 155 00:07:47,319 --> 00:07:49,879 a newspaper or magazine from front to back, 156 00:07:49,959 --> 00:07:53,120 you know, in the toilet, in his own smell, and not notice it. 157 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,920 Mind you, the next person that walks in 158 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,639 will think they've been smacked in the head 159 00:07:56,759 --> 00:07:57,639 with a poo bat. 160 00:07:57,759 --> 00:07:59,759 But, uh, I don't know, you know... 161 00:07:59,879 --> 00:08:03,079 If a woman walks in after you, kill 'em. Knock 'em in half. 162 00:08:03,199 --> 00:08:04,639 I've always understood that people... 163 00:08:04,759 --> 00:08:06,759 I know everyone does get embarrassed by taking a crap. 164 00:08:06,879 --> 00:08:09,439 You wouldn't wanna be doing it in the middle of Bourke Street, 165 00:08:09,519 --> 00:08:11,040 butt-naked, trying to poo into a cup. 166 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:13,959 I mean, even dogs... if you watch a dog crap, 167 00:08:14,079 --> 00:08:15,519 even a dog's embarrassed to do poos. 168 00:08:15,639 --> 00:08:17,000 You know when they're doing a poo, 169 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:19,439 they're all bent over like they're trying to root a cricket ball, 170 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:20,920 but even they... even they get embarrassed. 171 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:23,000 And that's a dog. And they'll eat it! 172 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:35,000 This is, uh... What am I down to? Four strings. 173 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:37,519 I was given this guitar by a mate of mine. 174 00:08:37,639 --> 00:08:39,240 He used to play a bit of music. 175 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:42,080 And he had a bit of an accident. 176 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,159 And, uh... his job, he was working, 177 00:08:44,279 --> 00:08:45,960 got his hand crushed in a machine. 178 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:48,080 He couldn't play the guitar anymore, so... 179 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:49,559 ..he gave me this. 180 00:08:49,639 --> 00:08:51,720 And I always swore I'd learn to play the guitar 181 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:54,039 but I haven't really learnt. 182 00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:57,039 The only thing I've learnt is that if I hit the strings really hard, 183 00:08:57,159 --> 00:08:58,559 they break. 184 00:09:07,159 --> 00:09:11,039 I think it takes a certain kind of person to do what I do 185 00:09:11,159 --> 00:09:13,159 and it's just about having a thick skin. 186 00:09:13,279 --> 00:09:15,200 No-one's ever impressed with what you do. 187 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:16,679 No-one's ever fascinated 188 00:09:16,759 --> 00:09:19,120 or no-one ever wants to come and see what you do, or... 189 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:20,720 I imagine, if you were a fireman, 190 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:23,399 all the kids would want to jump on the back of the truck 191 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,840 and follow you to a fire. 192 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:26,679 There's gonna be no kids keen to do that. 193 00:09:26,759 --> 00:09:29,519 I don't do it for the glory. I don't do it to impress people. 194 00:09:29,639 --> 00:09:32,279 It's a job. But, you know, it's... it's what I know. 195 00:09:32,399 --> 00:09:33,919 It's my trade. 196 00:09:34,039 --> 00:09:35,759 And I actually think I'm pretty good at it. 197 00:09:35,879 --> 00:09:37,360 That's not bad stuff, that. 198 00:09:39,519 --> 00:09:43,200 As you can see, I've got a few different aftershaves, 199 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,799 which obviously, in my line of work, 200 00:09:45,879 --> 00:09:48,759 doesn't hurt to have a few of those on hand. 201 00:09:48,879 --> 00:09:50,279 A bit of an arsenal. 202 00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:10,559 These are, uh... a mate of mine, 203 00:10:10,639 --> 00:10:13,759 he's over in Japan at the moment. 204 00:10:13,879 --> 00:10:15,240 You should have a look at these. 205 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:17,960 These are pictures... they're pictures of a toilet. 206 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:20,080 They must stand over it. 207 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:21,879 God knows how they keep that clean. 208 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,519 Over here, you sit right on the pan and they still miss it. 209 00:10:24,639 --> 00:10:26,000 How would you be...? 210 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:27,480 There's Robbo's feet there. See? 211 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,200 Look at this thing here. It's out of 'Star Wars' or something. 212 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:31,679 This is the toilet here. 213 00:10:31,759 --> 00:10:33,159 And see the armrest? 214 00:10:33,279 --> 00:10:35,600 That's the control panel for it. 215 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:37,759 He hasn't explained what they all are. 216 00:10:37,879 --> 00:10:40,159 But it's got two different settings 217 00:10:40,279 --> 00:10:43,200 for a water jet to shoot up your date - 218 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:44,919 must be to wash it or something. 219 00:10:45,039 --> 00:10:47,879 This must be the heater, or God knows what that is. 220 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,440 And, jeez, look at this. 221 00:10:49,519 --> 00:10:50,919 This has got a speed dial. 222 00:10:51,039 --> 00:10:52,399 And I don't know what that is, 223 00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:55,559 whether it's a television or it takes an X-ray of your... 224 00:10:55,679 --> 00:10:57,960 You know, I tell you what, this'll be the future. 225 00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:00,919 We'll all be sitting on space-age shitters. 226 00:11:01,039 --> 00:11:03,279 Not one single photo of his holiday trip. 227 00:11:03,399 --> 00:11:05,159 I wouldn't have a clue where he's been, 228 00:11:05,279 --> 00:11:06,919 but I know he's had two craps. 229 00:11:28,519 --> 00:11:30,200 MAN: What's the go with putting the toilets 230 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:31,679 outside of the venue? 231 00:11:31,799 --> 00:11:33,919 Well, that was where we were told to put it originally. 232 00:11:34,039 --> 00:11:35,399 Not on the drawing. 233 00:11:35,519 --> 00:11:37,320 Well... even though it's on the outside of the fence, 234 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:38,799 the fence has been moved 235 00:11:38,919 --> 00:11:40,639 from where I was told it was gonna be. 236 00:11:40,759 --> 00:11:41,879 I can't move it now. 237 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,919 You'd have to be Andre the Giant to lift it up. 238 00:11:44,039 --> 00:11:45,559 It's a couple of tonne a unit. 239 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:48,279 Well, can we get it sorted by the end of today, or...? 240 00:11:48,399 --> 00:11:50,039 Well, to do it, I'll have to unplumb it, 241 00:11:50,159 --> 00:11:51,519 turn the water off, get a crane. 242 00:11:51,639 --> 00:11:53,000 I mean, I can have a go. 243 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:54,799 You want me to ring the boss? - Yes. 244 00:11:54,919 --> 00:11:56,840 Alright, I'll ring Glenn and I'll come and see you. 245 00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:58,480 Are you at the manager's hut? Yep. 246 00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:01,039 Or I'm on a two-way. Just please get hold of me. 247 00:12:01,159 --> 00:12:02,720 Alright. Done. Thank you. 248 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,120 Jeez, this'll be great. He wants us to move the toilet. 249 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:08,039 Well, they reckon we've put the toilet in the wrong spot. 250 00:12:09,399 --> 00:12:11,000 Well, I didn't drop it off - Tom did. 251 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:12,759 But it's just outside the front fence, 252 00:12:12,879 --> 00:12:15,200 which is where I thought it was supposed to go. 253 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:17,480 MAN ON P.A.: The F-111 lands... 254 00:12:20,399 --> 00:12:23,600 ( MOBILE PHONE RINGS ) 255 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,519 This could be a little bit colourful. 256 00:12:25,639 --> 00:12:28,039 That's from me... me ex-wife. 257 00:12:28,159 --> 00:12:30,360 We're separated. 258 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:34,320 Apparently, me little boy's putting on a bit of a show. 259 00:12:36,399 --> 00:12:38,320 I have to give her a ring. I won't be... 260 00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:39,840 Yeah. Don't yell in the phone. 261 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,960 What...what... what has he called you? 262 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:46,039 Oh, jeez. Well, do you want to put him on the phone to me? 263 00:12:46,159 --> 00:12:47,759 Yeah, well, oh, it's a bit different. 264 00:12:47,879 --> 00:12:50,519 I'm a grown-up, mate. You're still a boy. 265 00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:53,200 Yeah, well, you're gonna have to pull your head in a bit. 266 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:56,600 You can't be carrying on like a bloody raw prawn. 267 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,240 Alright. 268 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:01,480 Yeah, well, maybe just steady on a bit, eh? 269 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,279 Just try and pull it up a bit. 270 00:13:03,399 --> 00:13:05,600 No, I understand that, but she's still your mother, mate. 271 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,279 It doesn't matter what I say. 272 00:13:07,399 --> 00:13:10,679 Yeah, I know I said that, but we were a bit heated that day. 273 00:13:10,799 --> 00:13:13,000 There's no need to be repeating that. 274 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:15,519 Alright, well, just try and settle down a bit. 275 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,720 No, mate, the first time I ever saw 276 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:23,679 Glenn shove his hand down a bowl, 277 00:13:23,799 --> 00:13:26,080 and that's the owner of this company, 278 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:27,600 turned up in a suit, mate, 279 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,399 he ripped his shirt off, 280 00:13:29,519 --> 00:13:31,200 straight into the shit. 281 00:13:33,279 --> 00:13:34,759 And I got there, and I said, 282 00:13:34,879 --> 00:13:36,399 "There's fuckin' a man after my own heart 283 00:13:36,519 --> 00:13:37,879 "that'll do anything." 284 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,360 His arm's into it. 285 00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:40,960 It's nice to have a boss that knows 286 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:42,159 what we're going through at last. 287 00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:45,159 Do you know, I sometimes feel a bit lucky that I've got this job. 288 00:13:45,279 --> 00:13:46,720 In this job, I must admit, 289 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:49,120 I've had a chance to see some great stuff. 290 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:51,000 And I work with a good bunch of blokes. 291 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:54,639 And, you know, that's more than anyone can ask for. 292 00:13:54,759 --> 00:13:57,799 I tell you what, Robbo, do you mind if I lob here tonight? 293 00:13:57,919 --> 00:14:00,639 I'll have a few more beers. I don't give a shit at all, mate. 294 00:14:00,759 --> 00:14:02,240 Eh, you can even stay in that bed, 295 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:03,840 and I'll make a bed up for myself... 296 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:06,639 No, no. I'm not gonna stay in your bed, Robbo. It's your joint. 297 00:14:06,759 --> 00:14:08,559 Ah, well, there's no problems, brother. 298 00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:10,960 There's a lounge there. There's a bed there. 299 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:13,399 Hey, no worries. You've got the whole lot. 300 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:25,200 You know, the funny part is 301 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,480 everyone will deny the fact that they look at their poo, 302 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:28,960 but everyone does. 303 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:30,600 The ancient Greeks... 304 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:32,320 Cop this one. 305 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:35,960 The ancient Greeks, they used to use poo, back in... 306 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:39,600 I mean, talking 2,000 years ago, when Christ was alive. 307 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:41,840 They used to look at their poo, or people's poo 308 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:44,120 to forecast the future. 309 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:46,360 Mind you, if they'd seen some of the poo I've seen 310 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:48,360 at some of the festivals, the future looks pretty bleak. 311 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:50,360 But they used to use it to forecast the future, 312 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:51,879 back 2,000 years ago. 313 00:14:54,799 --> 00:14:56,759 Hey, Darren, have you got power to those toilets 314 00:14:56,879 --> 00:14:57,759 across there yet? 315 00:14:57,879 --> 00:14:59,679 This is the busiest time of year. 316 00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:01,159 This is the crazy time. 317 00:15:01,279 --> 00:15:02,759 Obviously, when the sun comes out, 318 00:15:02,879 --> 00:15:04,240 every bastard has a festival, 319 00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:07,080 and we get flogged like crooked dogs in a... 320 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:08,559 It's a mongrel. 321 00:15:08,679 --> 00:15:11,799 It just goes bonkers. It's as silly as a bum full of Smarties. 322 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:17,799 I often sing 'Advance Australia Fair'. 323 00:15:17,919 --> 00:15:21,720 There's nothing wrong with having a bit of national pride. 324 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:24,159 Problem is, when I first heard it, 325 00:15:24,279 --> 00:15:27,159 I used to think the song was, the words were, 326 00:15:27,279 --> 00:15:29,399 "Australians all let us ring Joyce, 327 00:15:29,519 --> 00:15:31,639 " 'cause she is young and free." 328 00:15:31,759 --> 00:15:34,879 So, obviously, I was making a goose of myself, 329 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:39,080 right up until the old man set me straight on the words. 330 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,879 I sing it right now. 331 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:45,159 "Australians all let us ring Joyce." 332 00:15:45,279 --> 00:15:47,120 God. 333 00:15:51,039 --> 00:15:54,200 You know, I get to see some great stuff doing this job. 334 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,679 And it's never boring. 335 00:15:55,799 --> 00:15:58,039 But, I mean, you know, I hear of people all the time 336 00:15:58,159 --> 00:15:59,039 and you read about it - 337 00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:00,519 people sitting behind their desk at work 338 00:16:00,639 --> 00:16:02,799 terrified that the next day they're gonna be out of work. 339 00:16:02,919 --> 00:16:04,639 Well, that's not something I've ever gotta worry about. 340 00:16:04,759 --> 00:16:06,120 You know, it's not like my business 341 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:07,799 is gonna dry up overnight, is it? 342 00:16:07,919 --> 00:16:09,279 How you been? Well? Excellent. 343 00:16:09,399 --> 00:16:10,759 I haven't seen you forever. 344 00:16:10,879 --> 00:16:12,399 I'll catch up with you there. OK. 345 00:16:12,519 --> 00:16:13,919 See you, mate. See you. 346 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,360 That's a mate from school. 347 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:17,960 That's a guy I went to school with. 348 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:19,399 That's Macka. 349 00:16:20,559 --> 00:16:22,240 I must admit, I thought you'd got a bit taller 350 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:23,240 since I'd seen you, 351 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:24,720 but you've got these bloody boots on. 352 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:26,559 They're different from the footy boots you strapped on 353 00:16:26,679 --> 00:16:28,399 when we were at school, mate. 354 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,080 There's not too much I regret about doing this job. 355 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:37,559 I think I've worked a lot of hours, 356 00:16:37,679 --> 00:16:39,240 and it's probably aged me a bit. 357 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:42,320 You know, some of my mates reckon I'm looking a bit worn. 358 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:43,799 Well, I lost my missus. 359 00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:45,399 I lost her out of it. 360 00:16:45,519 --> 00:16:47,919 That was... Well, I didn't lose her. I know where she is. 361 00:16:48,039 --> 00:16:49,399 She just left me, but, uh... 362 00:16:49,519 --> 00:16:52,960 ..it bit me on the arse pretty hard when she was leaving me. 363 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:55,840 You know, it was one tax l didn't expect to pay in this job, 364 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:57,320 and that was losing me missus. 365 00:16:57,440 --> 00:16:59,639 But when you spend more time with other people's poo 366 00:16:59,759 --> 00:17:02,039 than you do your own wife, you've gotta pay the penalty. 367 00:17:02,159 --> 00:17:06,240 MAN: Do you know that 70% of marriages fail? 70%. 368 00:17:06,319 --> 00:17:08,640 I mean, you hear of so many stories of that whole... 369 00:17:08,759 --> 00:17:09,720 ..that same scenario. 370 00:17:09,799 --> 00:17:11,279 You know, you get married 371 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,279 and a week later they break up or something 372 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:14,759 or, you know, it doesn't work. 373 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,400 Or, you know, sex doesn't happen or something. 374 00:17:16,519 --> 00:17:18,559 Or, you know, she goes off you or something. 375 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:20,599 Or, you know, the parents are around every day 376 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:21,599 or something. 377 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:24,400 Or you can't support them, give them what they want, 378 00:17:24,519 --> 00:17:25,960 because they came from, you know, 379 00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:27,759 a wealthier background or something than you, 380 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,039 and you're wishing that you could, you know, 381 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:32,319 support it more than that, but you can't, 382 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:33,920 because you just...you can't. 383 00:17:34,039 --> 00:17:35,799 I always get a little bit nervous 384 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:38,359 when Pat comes in for one of his little chats. 385 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:42,160 Sadly, Pat's chosen to learn from my life's mistakes 386 00:17:42,279 --> 00:17:43,640 instead of learning from his own. 387 00:17:43,759 --> 00:17:45,960 -So... you still loved her in the end? 388 00:17:46,079 --> 00:17:47,480 -Or did you...? 389 00:17:47,559 --> 00:17:50,319 Oh, it was a little bit hard to love someone that hates you. 390 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:51,319 Yeah. 391 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:52,319 Don't worry too much. 392 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,000 If you worry too much, you'll drive yourself mad. 393 00:17:54,079 --> 00:17:55,599 By the time you cut the wedding cake, 394 00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:57,599 you'll cut the table in half, you'll be that nervous. 395 00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:01,400 A wedding is an "I do" kind of day. That's all your pressure is. 396 00:18:01,519 --> 00:18:02,880 Remember that - "I do." 397 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,279 Do you want to marry this woman till the rest of your life? 398 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:06,279 "I do." 399 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:07,920 Are you ready to go to the park? 400 00:18:08,039 --> 00:18:09,920 Do you want to have photos taken next to her 401 00:18:10,039 --> 00:18:10,960 now that you've married her? 402 00:18:11,079 --> 00:18:11,960 "I do." 403 00:18:12,079 --> 00:18:13,440 Do you want to go on the honeymoon 404 00:18:13,559 --> 00:18:14,920 and do the horizontal folk dance? 405 00:18:15,039 --> 00:18:16,240 "Yes, love, I do." 406 00:18:16,319 --> 00:18:18,079 Just, all you've gotta remember is "I do". 407 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,960 There's no pressure, you know? 408 00:18:21,079 --> 00:18:24,119 If you think of it like that, then it's not that big a deal... 409 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:26,160 ..unless a bloke comes down in the wedding dress, 410 00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:27,759 then you'll know your day's gone to shit. 411 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,680 But that's not gonna happen, is it? 412 00:18:31,279 --> 00:18:33,720 I don't know whether I'm necessarily the right person 413 00:18:33,799 --> 00:18:36,440 to be asking about all this, to tell you the truth, Pat. 414 00:18:36,559 --> 00:18:39,319 Mine failed. I don't...you know 415 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:40,960 I once heard a guy say, 416 00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:42,440 "Cut out the middle man - 417 00:18:42,559 --> 00:18:44,480 "find someone you hate and give them a house." 418 00:18:44,559 --> 00:18:46,319 Now, if you want to be negative about it, 419 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:47,799 that's the way you'd look at it. 420 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,680 You've been there. I haven't been there yet. 421 00:18:49,799 --> 00:18:51,160 You've been through that. 422 00:18:51,279 --> 00:18:54,119 I mean, I'm asking you because you... 423 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:56,599 ..you were there for 14 years. 424 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,279 But that's... that was my missus. 425 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,000 You're gonna marry someone different. 426 00:19:01,079 --> 00:19:02,000 And that's... 427 00:19:02,079 --> 00:19:03,480 If you were gonna marry my ex-wife, 428 00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,480 I'd have a ton of stuff to tell you. 429 00:19:05,559 --> 00:19:09,039 Is this the right person? Is this the right time? 430 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:10,640 Is this the right...? 431 00:19:16,079 --> 00:19:17,839 Hello. WOMAN: Yeah, come in. 432 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:19,440 Yeah, it's only me. 433 00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:21,759 How are you? - Yeah, OK. 434 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:24,200 It's a fair old day outside, isn't it? 435 00:19:24,319 --> 00:19:26,160 There's the boy. How are you, boy? You right? 436 00:19:26,279 --> 00:19:27,839 You right to go? 437 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,240 All good. You've got some stuff packed and a towel? 438 00:19:30,319 --> 00:19:31,759 Alright. 439 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,680 Well, we'll get going, eh? We'll hit the road. 440 00:19:33,799 --> 00:19:35,160 What do you say, mate? 441 00:19:35,279 --> 00:19:37,519 We'll be back, well, I don't know what time. 442 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:39,720 We're just gonna head off down the beach now. 443 00:19:39,799 --> 00:19:41,599 So... - I need him back by 4:00. 444 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,440 I'm sorry? - I need him back by 4:00. 445 00:19:43,559 --> 00:19:44,920 What? Well, it's midday now. 446 00:19:45,039 --> 00:19:46,960 How am I gonna have him back by four o'clock? 447 00:19:47,079 --> 00:19:48,960 I've got plans. I need him back by 4:00. 448 00:19:49,079 --> 00:19:50,960 Look, you want to jump in the car, mate? 449 00:19:51,079 --> 00:19:52,799 Grab your toy there. Jump in the car. 450 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:53,799 I'll be one sec. 451 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:55,799 I'm just gonna have a little chat to your mother. 452 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:57,680 It would've been nice to have known this 453 00:19:57,799 --> 00:19:59,400 at 8:00 this morning when I rang. 454 00:19:59,519 --> 00:20:01,039 We're going down to Ocean Grove. 455 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:03,279 It'll take me an hour and a half to get there. 456 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,519 I don't give a shit. I need him back at 4:00. 457 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,559 We're just taking him down to see his grandfather. 458 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:09,079 If I've got him back by 4:00, 459 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,400 we'll only spend 30 minutes there. 460 00:20:10,519 --> 00:20:12,039 It would've been nice to have known this 461 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:13,039 this morning, though. 462 00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:15,519 I'm taking the boy down to see his grandfather, 463 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:18,279 not that you seem to be too plussed about that. 464 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:19,759 Alright. 465 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:21,440 Jesus Christ. 466 00:20:23,799 --> 00:20:25,559 Hey, do you want to jump in the front 467 00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:26,960 with your old man, mate? 468 00:20:27,079 --> 00:20:28,799 You don't want to jump up the front there? 469 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:31,319 We've got the front seat. You can sit up with me and... 470 00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:32,799 Alright. Well, please yourself. 471 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:34,599 You're right in the back there, then? 472 00:20:37,079 --> 00:20:38,880 Alright. 473 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,960 How you been, mate? You been good? 474 00:20:45,079 --> 00:20:48,319 Hey? Well, er, we'll get you down to your grandad's. 475 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:51,119 We're just gonna go down to Ocean Grove, to the beach. 476 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:53,359 You like it down at the beach, don't you, mate? 477 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:54,839 What do you say, eh? 478 00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:57,240 Dad, are you going to hell? 479 00:20:57,319 --> 00:20:59,680 Am I going to hell? 480 00:20:59,799 --> 00:21:02,839 Well, no, I'm not going to hell. Not as far as I know. 481 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:04,319 Why's that? 482 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:07,359 Because Mum said... Mum said you don't believe in God. 483 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,759 Mum said I don't believe in God? 484 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:12,480 And that's why I'm going to hell? 485 00:21:12,559 --> 00:21:15,559 Well, mate, er... Look, I tell you what. 486 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:17,960 When God introduces himself to me, 487 00:21:18,079 --> 00:21:20,359 I'll give him my full attention. 488 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:23,319 I'll give him 150%, mate. 489 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,440 But until then, I'm just a little bit busy. 490 00:21:26,559 --> 00:21:28,799 Jesus, and I'm going to hell, she reckons. 491 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:30,960 (Sighs) 492 00:21:31,079 --> 00:21:33,640 To be quite honest, I think I'm already in it. 493 00:21:33,759 --> 00:21:35,240 (Mutters) Am I going to hell! 494 00:21:35,319 --> 00:21:37,920 (Giggles) (Sings) # Australians all 495 00:21:38,039 --> 00:21:40,319 # Let us ring Joyce 496 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:44,240 (Both sing) # For she is young and free 497 00:21:44,319 --> 00:21:45,720 # She's free... # 498 00:21:45,799 --> 00:21:47,200 (Boy giggles) 499 00:21:47,319 --> 00:21:49,640 You know, if my son ended up doing this job, 500 00:21:49,759 --> 00:21:52,160 I don't think I'd be that upset by that. 501 00:21:52,279 --> 00:21:53,640 If he was happy, 502 00:21:53,759 --> 00:21:55,240 and he had good people around him 503 00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:56,839 Iike I've got good people around me, 504 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:58,319 and he's making OK money 505 00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:00,640 and he's proud of what he does as a trade - 506 00:22:00,759 --> 00:22:02,359 'cause, don't forget, it is a trade... 507 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:03,359 Hello? 508 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:04,920 ..I'd be stoked for him. 509 00:22:05,039 --> 00:22:06,759 You there, Dad? Hey, mate, how are you going? 510 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:08,359 Oh, you made it, I see. 511 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:10,400 I did. Good to see you again. 512 00:22:10,519 --> 00:22:12,319 Say hello to your grandfather, son. 513 00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,240 You better... Wait on, boy. Take your shoes off. 514 00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:15,799 You might have to pop them off. 515 00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:18,759 You'd better get yours off too. - Alright. We'll pop them off. 516 00:22:21,759 --> 00:22:22,640 Right. 517 00:22:22,759 --> 00:22:24,680 Have you been well? Oh, yeah. Listen... 518 00:22:24,799 --> 00:22:26,599 Eh, eh, just before... No, wait on. 519 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,279 I've just had that scotchguarded there. 520 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,720 You'd better get these off. You'd better get these off. 521 00:22:30,839 --> 00:22:32,799 Well, they're clean. I mean, I haven't been... 522 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:34,920 I've only dropped into the office this morning. 523 00:22:35,039 --> 00:22:36,400 There's no business on them. 524 00:22:36,519 --> 00:22:37,880 I'm actually going to a job tonight. 525 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,759 Well, they don't look too flash to me. 526 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:41,359 Get them off. I'll get you... 527 00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:43,200 I've got something you can wear. Here, I've got... 528 00:22:43,319 --> 00:22:44,720 Get them off, would you? 529 00:22:44,839 --> 00:22:46,759 Well, I can't run around in me jocks, Dad. 530 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:47,759 No, well, I've got something. 531 00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:49,599 I've got a gown here you can put on. 532 00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:51,079 No-one's gonna see you. 533 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:53,519 For Christ's sake. Just take them off. 534 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:55,200 Jesus Christ. 535 00:22:56,279 --> 00:22:57,720 Well, what am I gonna wear? 536 00:22:57,839 --> 00:23:00,640 I've got a gown here. I've got a gown, I said. 537 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,039 So what else is news, Dad? What have you been doing? 538 00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:07,119 Oh, not a lot. There's not a lot to do down here. 539 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:11,000 It goes past with monotonous regularity. 540 00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:13,960 Just don't take your foot off the thing. Just let me move that up. 541 00:23:14,079 --> 00:23:14,960 Sure. 542 00:23:15,079 --> 00:23:16,759 I'll get a couple of coasters there for... 543 00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:19,119 Won't be a tick. - Alright. 544 00:23:23,319 --> 00:23:26,400 There you go, young fella. Don't... Try not to spill that. 545 00:23:26,519 --> 00:23:27,960 Just keep... keep your eye on him. 546 00:23:28,079 --> 00:23:29,440 He'll be right, Dad. 547 00:23:29,559 --> 00:23:31,319 There you go, son. There's your water for you. 548 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:33,720 I'll give you a tea. I'm a bit light on for coffee. 549 00:23:33,839 --> 00:23:37,440 My pension doesn't come through till next week. 550 00:23:37,559 --> 00:23:41,799 Did you ring that bloke that I told you to ring about the job? 551 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:43,599 No, I didn't... No, I haven't rung him. 552 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:45,119 Why not? 553 00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:47,559 He's a good mate of mine. Why didn't you ring him? 554 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,799 I'm not saying he's not a good mate of yours, Dad. 555 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,359 It's just I don't need to ring him. I've got a job. 556 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:54,359 Yeah, but I'm talking about a real job. 557 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:55,880 I'm talking about a real job. 558 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,720 I've got a real job, Dad. I'm a plumber. 559 00:23:57,839 --> 00:24:00,880 Yeah, plumber, my arse. I know what you are. 560 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,000 Here, young fella. 561 00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:05,519 You better go outside and eat that. 562 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:07,880 I don't want you dropping crumbs all over the floor. 563 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:09,359 Sit on... outside. 564 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:10,519 Take your hat, mate, so... 565 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:12,559 You might get a bit of sun out there. 566 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:14,240 Pop your hat on too, eh? 567 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,680 I'm a little...a little disappointed in you, son. 568 00:24:18,799 --> 00:24:21,400 In me? Disappointed... disappointed with what? 569 00:24:21,519 --> 00:24:23,160 It's a full-time job, Dad. 570 00:24:23,279 --> 00:24:25,640 I'm working six to seven days a week 571 00:24:25,759 --> 00:24:27,519 and I'm pulling in over $1,200. 572 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,400 Yeah, what, a full-time job? 573 00:24:29,519 --> 00:24:30,920 I didn't put you through school 574 00:24:31,039 --> 00:24:33,599 for you to become a fuckin' glorified turd burglar, 575 00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:35,400 and that's all you fuckin' well are! 576 00:24:35,519 --> 00:24:37,000 I'm a plumber, Dad. I'm a plumber. 577 00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:38,599 Oh, plumber, my arse! 578 00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:41,279 Don't say this stuff in front of the boy. 579 00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:44,039 I won't say it in front of him. That's why I sent him outside. 580 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:45,519 I'm not a ding-a-ling. 581 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,759 You never see a man, you never come to see me 582 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,000 and when you come here, all you wanna do is argue. 583 00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:51,839 I don't wanna argue. I've just got a job. 584 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:54,279 As soon as you can accept that I've got a full-time job... 585 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:55,880 I thought you'd be glad to see me. 586 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:57,440 I am glad to see you, Dad. 587 00:24:57,559 --> 00:25:00,119 I've just driven down here to... Of course I'm glad to see you. 588 00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:01,720 And the lad's growing up. 589 00:25:01,839 --> 00:25:03,960 The last time I saw him, he was about this high, 590 00:25:04,079 --> 00:25:06,200 and have a look at him now - he's nearly fuckin' 6ft. 591 00:25:06,319 --> 00:25:07,720 You don't bring him near the place. 592 00:25:07,839 --> 00:25:09,519 What, are you ashamed of me or something? 593 00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:11,119 Of course I'm not ashamed of you, Dad. 594 00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:13,079 Aw, it gives me the shits, it does, boy. 595 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:16,079 You've never appreciated anything I've done for you. 596 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:18,200 Oh, it's not about appreciation, Dad. 597 00:25:18,319 --> 00:25:20,240 I'll just wash this cup. 598 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,160 Pop your shoes on, mate. 599 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:26,680 Here, young fella. Here. 600 00:25:26,799 --> 00:25:29,680 Put that in your kick and be good to your dad, alright? 601 00:25:29,799 --> 00:25:31,160 Here, give us a cuddle. 602 00:25:31,279 --> 00:25:32,960 Thank Grandad for the 20 cents. Say thank you... 603 00:25:33,079 --> 00:25:34,440 Thank you. - Alright. 604 00:25:34,559 --> 00:25:36,480 Off you go. I wanna have a talk to your father. 605 00:25:36,599 --> 00:25:39,160 Keep your eye on the boy and don't have him running round 606 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:40,599 like a wild navvy, for Christ's sake. 607 00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:42,839 I never let you get away with any of those things. 608 00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:44,839 If you don't rule them with a rod of iron, 609 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:46,680 they'll make an arsehole of you out in public 610 00:25:46,799 --> 00:25:48,240 when you take them out. 611 00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:49,720 He's alright. Yeah, he's alright. 612 00:25:49,839 --> 00:25:51,240 Well, keep him that way. 613 00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:52,960 Alright, well, I'll see you again. Alright. 614 00:25:53,079 --> 00:25:54,960 Don't make it so long next time, for Christ's sake. 615 00:25:55,079 --> 00:25:57,240 A man never sees you. You never come to visit me. 616 00:25:57,359 --> 00:25:59,119 I'll see you soon. As soon as I've finished... 617 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:01,599 And if you get a chance, ring that bloke about that job. 618 00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:03,960 It won't happen, Dad. Good to see you. 619 00:26:04,079 --> 00:26:05,559 Alright. See you. 620 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,759 (mutters indistinctly) 621 00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:11,279 Righto. 622 00:26:16,599 --> 00:26:18,359 One! Two! Three! 623 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:19,839 Move! 624 00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:22,079 I mean, this is kind of my outlet, you know? 625 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,240 On the job sometimes, you know, you get a few smarties - 626 00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:27,519 you know, a couple of clever dicks on the job 627 00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:29,119 that always wanna have a go at you. 628 00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:31,000 And, you know, they're all full of Dutch courage 629 00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:33,440 and got themselves full of the Batman juice. 630 00:26:33,559 --> 00:26:37,200 So I started doing this as a little bit of insurance, 631 00:26:37,319 --> 00:26:38,839 a bit of self-insurance. 632 00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:39,839 ( BELL RINGS ) 633 00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,240 Out! In! Out! 634 00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:43,759 (speaks unintelligibly) 635 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:45,359 What's that? A little bit quicker, mate. 636 00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,359 (speaks unintelligibly) A little bit quicker! 637 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,400 (speaks unintelligibly) 638 00:26:49,519 --> 00:26:52,000 The only hard bit sometimes is, with the head gear on, 639 00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:56,240 plus I'm actually slightly deaf in one ear - 640 00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:57,720 my right side... 641 00:26:57,839 --> 00:26:58,960 ( BELL RINGS ) 642 00:26:59,079 --> 00:27:00,440 Hook - right hand! What? 643 00:27:00,559 --> 00:27:02,519 Hook - right hand! Right. Sorry. 644 00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:08,799 Takes it out of me, this, but I do enjoy doing it, the old boxing. 645 00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:12,119 Beat the shit out of each other and get back to work. 646 00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:22,519 I don't make the rules up. I don't make the plans. 647 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,079 We get all given the same map. 648 00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:25,559 You've gotta be more conscious 649 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:27,160 of what other guys are doing, mate. 650 00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:31,000 You want three units, so we'll need to get that truck in there. 651 00:27:31,079 --> 00:27:32,680 WOMAN: The toilet over there is disgusting. 652 00:27:32,799 --> 00:27:34,599 There's piss all over the walls. 653 00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:37,720 It's gross. You really should try and maintain them. 654 00:27:40,079 --> 00:27:41,799 PAT: You'd think it'd be a simple thing. 655 00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,079 150 bucks a head. $150. 656 00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,759 I kind of think what I could do with $150 for 200 people. 657 00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:48,279 Which way? Over this way? 658 00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:52,400 Hey, hang on, hang on! 659 00:27:52,519 --> 00:27:54,000 Sorry, love! WOMAN: If you don't mind! 660 00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:55,519 Sorry. I'm actually here with... 661 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:57,599 I'm here with the...toilet company. 662 00:27:57,720 --> 00:27:58,599 Sorry, love. 663 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:00,200 I didn't see anything, if that makes any difference. 664 00:28:00,319 --> 00:28:01,799 Jesus. 665 00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:15,119 You know, I wouldn't mind... 666 00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:17,799 They could shit on the floor, I can cope with that. 667 00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:20,160 This is what annoys me the most - this stuff. 668 00:28:20,279 --> 00:28:22,160 Look, 'Davo waz here'. 669 00:28:22,279 --> 00:28:24,559 Can't spell for a starter. 670 00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:26,680 'Davo waz here'. 671 00:28:26,799 --> 00:28:28,400 What a claim to fame that is. 672 00:28:28,519 --> 00:28:30,720 Imagine if he went to, er... 673 00:28:31,799 --> 00:28:33,519 Imagine if he got to the Eiffel Tower. 674 00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:35,160 He'd want a golden handshake, 675 00:28:35,279 --> 00:28:37,720 a fuckin' brass band and a fireworks show. 676 00:28:37,839 --> 00:28:40,920 This is his claim to fame. He's been to our shitter. 677 00:28:41,039 --> 00:28:42,759 What a fuckin' muppet. 678 00:28:57,400 --> 00:28:59,079 PAT ON TWO-WAY RADIO: Kenny, are you there? 679 00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:00,720 KENNY ON TWO-WAY RADIO: Yeah, go ahead, Pat. 680 00:29:00,839 --> 00:29:03,160 Listen, mate. I need you down at the block. 681 00:29:03,279 --> 00:29:05,400 A bit of a situation here. We've got... (Voice breaks up) 682 00:29:05,519 --> 00:29:07,640 I can't hear you. You're breaking up. 683 00:29:07,759 --> 00:29:10,319 I need you here to have a look and... 684 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:13,359 I'll be there in a minute. Just hang on a second. 685 00:29:16,519 --> 00:29:17,880 Jeez. 686 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,359 Just found him here. 687 00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:21,279 See if you can... 688 00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:24,079 ..undo that chain. 689 00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:26,200 What the bloody hell's...? 690 00:29:26,319 --> 00:29:27,720 You right, mate? 691 00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:33,359 Can you...? Hey, mate? You alright? 692 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:37,240 How are you going? Wake up, tiger. 693 00:29:37,359 --> 00:29:39,359 Hang on, hang on. 694 00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:41,799 (Man yells) Simon! 695 00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:44,279 Don't touch me! Don't touch me! 696 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:46,960 KENNY: Jesus. Well, he was passed out when we got here. 697 00:29:47,039 --> 00:29:49,839 He wasn't even awake so we had to kind of wake him up. 698 00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:51,720 And as soon as we woke him up, 699 00:29:51,839 --> 00:29:53,279 and he realised that he was chained 700 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:54,759 and handcuffed to the toilet, 701 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:56,319 he just went berserk. 702 00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:57,319 (Yells) Peter! 703 00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:59,160 I don't know. Maybe he's on drugs or something. 704 00:29:59,279 --> 00:30:00,920 He was jumping round like a fish. 705 00:30:01,039 --> 00:30:01,920 MAN: You bastards! 706 00:30:02,039 --> 00:30:05,079 No, no, it's... He's on a bucks night or something. 707 00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:06,759 He's probably got some mates here somewhere. 708 00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:08,240 They've drawn on him with texta. 709 00:30:08,359 --> 00:30:10,559 FIREMAN: What's your name? I'm Kenny...Smyth. 710 00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:12,279 S-M-Y-T-H. 711 00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:14,440 (Man yells indistinctly) 712 00:30:14,559 --> 00:30:17,839 Listen, I've got my own car here, alright? I drove here. 713 00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:19,319 I drove here by myself. 714 00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:20,799 Arggh! Where the fuck...? 715 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:22,599 Simon! 716 00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:25,599 Sandra's gonna kill me. 717 00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:27,799 Sandra's gonna kill me! 718 00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:29,279 Funny, isn't it? 719 00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:31,279 Of all the people I could have had with me 720 00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:32,279 while I was witnessing 721 00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:33,480 this guy's bucks night gone wrong... 722 00:30:33,599 --> 00:30:35,720 MAN: I own my own fuckin' house! 723 00:30:35,839 --> 00:30:37,279 ..I had to have Pat. 724 00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:40,240 I wanna go home. I wanna go home! 725 00:30:40,359 --> 00:30:43,039 I will hear about this for the next fortnight. 726 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:49,359 Have a good night, fellas. Thanks, fellas. 727 00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:51,440 This is just what you guys needed tonight, wasn't it? 728 00:30:51,559 --> 00:30:52,960 FIREMAN: Exactly! (Laughs) 729 00:30:53,079 --> 00:30:54,440 You didn't see anything at all? 730 00:30:54,559 --> 00:30:55,720 PAT: No, I walked in and saw him. 731 00:30:59,519 --> 00:31:01,079 Ugh! 732 00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:03,119 Jeez. Oh! 733 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:06,079 What's the weather like down there, Kenny? 734 00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:08,000 Oh, yeah, it's great, Sammy. It's great. 735 00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:13,759 What's this Pat's bloody story? - Eh? 736 00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:15,559 Oh, he's giving me the shits lately. 737 00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:17,119 What are you...? Huh? - Pat. 738 00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:19,200 It doesn't actually take a genius at times 739 00:31:19,319 --> 00:31:20,799 to figure out who are the square pegs 740 00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:22,279 in a room full of round holes. 741 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,640 We've got a new guy, Sammy, who started with us. 742 00:31:24,759 --> 00:31:25,799 Nice bloke. 743 00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:27,799 He's a hard worker, there's no doubt about that, 744 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:29,319 but he's hard work. 745 00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:30,920 Always going on about this bloody marriage 746 00:31:31,039 --> 00:31:32,400 and, "Is this gonna go right?" 747 00:31:32,519 --> 00:31:33,920 or "Is that gonna go bloody right?" 748 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:36,440 Is he gonna marry her or not? 749 00:31:36,559 --> 00:31:38,359 I'd say so. They've got a wedding. 750 00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:40,200 He's either gonna marry her or not marry her. 751 00:31:40,319 --> 00:31:42,200 If he ain't gonna marry her, I'll give her one. 752 00:31:42,319 --> 00:31:43,799 Look, mate. 753 00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:50,079 I understand what you're saying, I really do, 754 00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:51,640 and I am hearing you, 755 00:31:51,759 --> 00:31:53,799 but, mate, what you've gotta understand 756 00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:55,559 is there is a smell in here 757 00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:58,440 that is gonna outlast religion, alright? 758 00:31:58,559 --> 00:32:01,319 So can you just give me ears a rest for a minute? 759 00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:03,599 Just give it a break for a sec 760 00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:06,480 and we'll talk about it later, alright? 761 00:32:06,599 --> 00:32:08,720 I'd appreciate it, mate. 762 00:32:08,839 --> 00:32:10,279 Now you know how I feel. 763 00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:11,759 Yeah, I do. 764 00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:13,400 Just like Pat - full of shit. 765 00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:22,680 Keep going that way, over towards the ambulance. 766 00:32:22,799 --> 00:32:24,319 Face it, she's had too many drinks, mate. 767 00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:27,240 It doesn't matter whether she's drunk or on drugs, 768 00:32:27,359 --> 00:32:28,720 just get her through, will you? 769 00:32:28,839 --> 00:32:31,640 Just push the crowd, will you? Just push, will you? 770 00:32:31,759 --> 00:32:33,880 Get in front and push the crowd out of the way. 771 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:35,599 I'm trying to get through but I can't. 772 00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:37,680 I often get nervous on days like these 773 00:32:37,799 --> 00:32:39,519 at these big beach festivals, you know. 774 00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:41,160 They draw a very big crowd 775 00:32:41,279 --> 00:32:43,160 and we quite often have to bring in extra crew. 776 00:32:43,279 --> 00:32:46,160 You know, with half the kids on the wacky tobaccy 777 00:32:46,279 --> 00:32:47,880 and the fruity disco biscuits, 778 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:49,799 you know, they're as mad as a clown's cock. 779 00:32:58,839 --> 00:33:00,480 Yeah, I am, actually. 780 00:33:00,599 --> 00:33:02,559 I've got a little girl. She's been into two toilets. 781 00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:05,440 There's no toilet paper at all. Are you doing your job here? 782 00:33:05,559 --> 00:33:07,839 If you have a toilet, you have to have paper, understand? 783 00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:09,720 We do, mate. I'm sorry. I mean, we're filming... 784 00:33:09,839 --> 00:33:12,079 Don't be sorry. Don't do it again. Make sure there's paper. 785 00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:14,519 We'll get it fixed up for you. I've gotta go now. 786 00:33:19,599 --> 00:33:22,880 OK, what I'll do... Sam, I want you to stay with Pat, OK? 787 00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:24,839 You stay with him for another couple of hours. 788 00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:26,720 Have a look at this here. 789 00:33:26,839 --> 00:33:28,480 This is half my trouble here. 790 00:33:28,599 --> 00:33:30,559 See, he's supposed to be looking after 791 00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:32,759 that toilet I've been getting all the complaints about. 792 00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:34,400 He's from university or something. 793 00:33:34,519 --> 00:33:35,880 He's the one that rang us 794 00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:37,920 and said he wanted to make a few extra bucks, 795 00:33:38,039 --> 00:33:39,400 and look at him. 796 00:33:39,519 --> 00:33:41,039 I've gotta tell you something, mate. 797 00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:42,680 I appreciate you want some food, 798 00:33:42,799 --> 00:33:44,160 but we've had nothing but complaints 799 00:33:44,279 --> 00:33:45,640 from your toilet block 800 00:33:45,759 --> 00:33:47,720 and you're over here eating and watching the festival. 801 00:33:47,839 --> 00:33:49,319 I just left Dave over there with it. 802 00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:51,279 I just nipped over here... 803 00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:53,799 ..literally just nipped over here for this. 804 00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:55,680 It's been a big day for all of us. 805 00:33:55,799 --> 00:33:57,559 I've been here since six o'clock this morning. 806 00:33:57,680 --> 00:33:59,440 I know you guys come on at midday. 807 00:33:59,559 --> 00:34:00,920 There'll be food available later on. 808 00:34:01,039 --> 00:34:02,519 Oh, right. No, I didn't know. 809 00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:04,400 If you can just head back to the toilets, 810 00:34:04,519 --> 00:34:06,119 you're gonna need to give them a clean. 811 00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:07,400 You'll figure it out. 812 00:34:07,519 --> 00:34:09,599 All you do is keep toilet paper and keep it clean. 813 00:34:09,679 --> 00:34:10,920 It's unbelievable, isn't it? 814 00:34:11,039 --> 00:34:12,719 Like I said, he's probably studying to be 815 00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:13,880 an accountant or something. 816 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:15,559 He can't even clean a shitter. 817 00:34:15,639 --> 00:34:16,559 WOMAN: No. How much longer? 818 00:34:16,639 --> 00:34:18,400 Look, it looks clean to me. It looks fine. 819 00:34:18,519 --> 00:34:20,239 If you'd have seen it five minutes ago, love, 820 00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:21,719 you wouldn't have thought so. 821 00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:24,760 But there you go. Sorry about that. In you go. 822 00:34:28,519 --> 00:34:29,920 Have a look at this. 823 00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:37,320 Mate, I've had three complaints about the girls toilets already. 824 00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:39,559 There's just, like, so many people in there at the moment, 825 00:34:39,639 --> 00:34:41,639 I don't want to, er... I can't really go in. 826 00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:43,679 There's gonna be a lot of people in there all night. 827 00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:44,679 It's a festival. 828 00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:46,159 Even with the girls in there? 829 00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:48,840 That's your job. You can throw it over the top of the door. 830 00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:50,480 They need paper more than they do conversation. 831 00:34:50,599 --> 00:34:51,960 Rightio. Alright. 832 00:34:52,079 --> 00:34:54,000 Jeez. 833 00:34:54,119 --> 00:34:56,000 PAT: I've just gotta talk to you about something. 834 00:34:56,119 --> 00:34:58,320 Yeah, what's wrong? I've been here for 12 months. 835 00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:00,480 He's been here for two weeks! - Yeah. 836 00:35:00,599 --> 00:35:01,480 And he's honestly, 837 00:35:01,599 --> 00:35:02,960 he's constantly telling me what to do. 838 00:35:03,079 --> 00:35:04,519 He's really starting to piss me off. 839 00:35:04,639 --> 00:35:06,360 I mean, is there a hierarchy here or something? 840 00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:09,760 No, no, there's no hierarchy, Pat. We're all shitkickers, mate. 841 00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:11,559 There's no pecking order in poo, mate. 842 00:35:11,639 --> 00:35:13,400 Well, no, but at the same time, you know, 843 00:35:13,519 --> 00:35:14,639 there's a loyalty there 844 00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:16,119 if you've been here for two weeks, 845 00:35:16,199 --> 00:35:17,599 or if you've been here for 12 months. 846 00:35:17,679 --> 00:35:19,119 I mean, he thinks he's in charge. 847 00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:29,280 MAN: Hey, Kenny? Yes, mate? 848 00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:31,280 This woman, she's lost her ring down the toilet. 849 00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:32,880 Which woman? Which one? 850 00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:34,559 She's just that one over there. 851 00:35:34,639 --> 00:35:36,039 What's she done? 852 00:35:36,159 --> 00:35:37,800 She's lost her wedding ring down the toilet 853 00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:39,400 and she wants us to get it out. 854 00:35:39,519 --> 00:35:40,880 So what do you do? 855 00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:42,400 You'll need to deal with that. 856 00:35:42,519 --> 00:35:44,639 Look, you head over there and get a start on it 857 00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:46,239 and I'll come over and help you out. 858 00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:47,239 But how do you... 859 00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:48,840 Well, you've just gotta fish it out. 860 00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:50,440 I'll be over there in five minutes. 861 00:35:50,559 --> 00:35:52,679 You've gotta get in real quick, mate, because it'll settle. 862 00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:54,519 You've gotta get into it pretty straightaway, mate. 863 00:35:54,639 --> 00:35:56,039 You've had a pretty easy day. 864 00:35:56,159 --> 00:35:57,519 You've had a good day so far 865 00:35:57,639 --> 00:35:59,119 and this is something you have to do. 866 00:35:59,199 --> 00:36:00,599 We do it all the time. 867 00:36:00,679 --> 00:36:02,199 We've promised we're gonna get her ring 868 00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:03,760 and that's what we have to do. 869 00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:06,440 I reckon I could feel it with gloves if I had some gloves. 870 00:36:06,519 --> 00:36:08,440 Mate, you're gonna have to take my word for it. 871 00:36:08,559 --> 00:36:11,199 If you put the gloves on, you're not gonna feel the ring. 872 00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:13,880 There's nothing... Mate, it only happened a minute ago. 873 00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,280 It's gonna be sitting pretty much on the top of the pile. 874 00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:17,760 That's why you can't have gloves 875 00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:19,280 or you'll push it straight into it. 876 00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:21,159 Just bung your hand down there and grab it, 877 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:22,719 and as soon as you're done, 878 00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:24,400 we'll wash her ring, obviously, and your hand 879 00:36:24,519 --> 00:36:25,679 and it'll all be over. 880 00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:28,119 It's 85% water, mate. There's nothing to worry about. 881 00:36:28,199 --> 00:36:30,519 I thought this would be corporate bathrooms, 882 00:36:30,639 --> 00:36:31,519 you know. 883 00:36:31,639 --> 00:36:33,159 It says 'corporate bathrooms'. 884 00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:34,719 It's only a logo. 885 00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:36,199 I thought it'd be businessmen and stuff. 886 00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:38,239 You reckon all the girls on Virgin Airlines are virgins? 887 00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:39,760 Sorry. 888 00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:41,280 But... 889 00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:46,159 I'll do it myself. 890 00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:47,639 (Locks door) 891 00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:49,639 Good luck with his bloody degree. Jesus. 892 00:36:51,159 --> 00:36:53,760 How are you going, love? Well, there you go. We got it back. 893 00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:55,559 That's her there. That's your ring, isn't it? 894 00:36:55,639 --> 00:36:57,239 That's the one. Thanks. Fantastic. 895 00:36:57,360 --> 00:36:58,719 Well, there you go. OK. 896 00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:00,199 Hang on. You right? 897 00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:01,679 It's a bit embarrassing. 898 00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:03,920 No, it happens all the time. It's not the first time. 899 00:37:04,039 --> 00:37:05,519 I'll pop it in there for you. 900 00:37:05,639 --> 00:37:07,000 Thanks for that. - No worries. 901 00:37:07,119 --> 00:37:08,599 I'll see you later, then. 902 00:37:13,199 --> 00:37:15,000 Great, this is. 903 00:37:15,119 --> 00:37:16,960 I've bloody... I've been held up here 904 00:37:17,079 --> 00:37:18,440 and now I've just found out 905 00:37:18,559 --> 00:37:20,960 I've gotta drive the truck back to the depot, 906 00:37:21,079 --> 00:37:24,280 and I'm supposed to be at my brother's birthday tonight. 907 00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:28,840 I will say one thing, 908 00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:31,880 and that is today's just about got me beat. 909 00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:35,679 I'm not exactly gonna be the life of the party tonight. 910 00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:37,360 Today was... 911 00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:39,679 Today was a pretty long day. 912 00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:42,159 Like I said, I can't let you in. 913 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:43,159 With what you're wearing, 914 00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:44,760 I can't let you in there tonight, alright? 915 00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:46,880 I understand. Well, can you go in? 916 00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:50,679 No, I can't. I need to stay here and look after this door. 917 00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:52,199 I can't let you in. 918 00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:54,400 He's just in here. 919 00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:57,079 Sorry, can you get David? 920 00:37:57,159 --> 00:37:59,320 Yeah, can you grab him for us? 921 00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:01,079 One minute, mate, alright? Just one minute. 922 00:38:01,159 --> 00:38:03,559 I'll come back out once I've found him. Thanks, mate. 923 00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:06,880 Go home, get changed and come back. 924 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,000 I'm not introducing you to people in fuckin' overalls. 925 00:38:09,119 --> 00:38:10,880 Jesus Christ. I wouldn't do that to you. 926 00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,679 Did I fuckin' turn up to your 21st in a fuckin' pair of shorts? 927 00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:15,840 Well, look, it wouldn't worry me, would it? 928 00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,039 Look, I'd go home and get changed, 929 00:38:18,159 --> 00:38:19,880 but it's gonna take me 2 to 2.5 hours. 930 00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:23,440 I've gotta go to Werribee and dump a load in the truck, so... 931 00:38:23,559 --> 00:38:24,960 Alright, then. 932 00:38:25,079 --> 00:38:27,079 How about I give you a ring during the week? 933 00:38:27,159 --> 00:38:30,119 I'd prefer if you came back, but if you've gotta do that, do that. 934 00:38:30,199 --> 00:38:32,360 Well, I won't have time. I'll ring you during the week. 935 00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:33,960 Happy birthday anyway. Thank you. 936 00:38:34,079 --> 00:38:35,519 Alright. Have a good one. 937 00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:41,440 Thanks, mate. Thank you. 938 00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:01,199 I have very fond memories of my childhood. 939 00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:04,400 You know, David and I were brought up on a farm 940 00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:06,119 in sort of northern Victoria. 941 00:39:06,199 --> 00:39:10,599 Mum and Dad were...they were farmers. They had an orchard. 942 00:39:10,679 --> 00:39:13,000 And that's where I spent my entire youth, you know. 943 00:39:13,079 --> 00:39:15,000 I'd only ever been to the city... 944 00:39:15,079 --> 00:39:18,360 We used to come down to the city on the fruit runs 945 00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:21,400 when it was time to deliver all the fruit to the market. 946 00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:24,119 I try and get down here pretty much every year 947 00:39:24,199 --> 00:39:25,880 for Mum's birthday. 948 00:39:27,039 --> 00:39:30,840 Mum brought me these gloves. They're beauties. 949 00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:34,159 Little sleeve there with a button as if they're off a suit. 950 00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:36,400 Good sense of humour, my mother. 951 00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:40,559 I don't know if David comes down here much 952 00:39:40,639 --> 00:39:42,880 and I know Dad still finds it pretty hard, 953 00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:45,000 but I actually like coming up 954 00:39:45,079 --> 00:39:47,280 and, you know, I don the gloves 955 00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:48,760 and I give her marble cubbyhouse 956 00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:50,360 a bit of a once over, you know. 957 00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:52,360 Give it a bit of a spruce up. 958 00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:54,440 Good... good fun lady, my mum, 959 00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:56,480 and well-liked in the town, you know. 960 00:39:56,559 --> 00:39:58,039 'Big cake lady', they'd call her. 961 00:39:58,119 --> 00:40:00,039 She wasn't a good cook, but she made big cakes, 962 00:40:00,119 --> 00:40:02,280 and that was pretty popular with all me mates. 963 00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:05,119 Very affectionate woman, my mum. 964 00:40:05,199 --> 00:40:06,599 When you were being hugged by her, 965 00:40:06,679 --> 00:40:08,079 you knew you were being held 966 00:40:08,159 --> 00:40:09,559 because Mum's shape... from behind, 967 00:40:09,639 --> 00:40:11,840 she looked like a fridge with a head, but, you know, 968 00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:13,920 you knew you were being cared for, you know, 969 00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:17,639 'cause Dad's emotional bank account had two cents in it. 970 00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:19,280 So Mum let you know you were loved 971 00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:22,039 and Dad kept the work going to keep the money coming in. 972 00:40:22,119 --> 00:40:25,039 And that's the way it was in those days, you know. 973 00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:34,360 MAN OVER P.A. : Drivers in the drag-racing category, 974 00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:36,199 could you move to lane six? 975 00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:43,519 It's a pretty strange place, I suppose, 976 00:40:43,599 --> 00:40:46,440 to have a church at a racetrack. 977 00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:48,880 They've actually got it here for the drivers, 978 00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:50,519 somewhere that they can say a prayer 979 00:40:50,599 --> 00:40:52,599 before they go out to a dangerous race, 980 00:40:52,679 --> 00:40:54,480 which I think is good. 981 00:40:57,599 --> 00:40:59,400 I hope no-one ever gets offended by the fact 982 00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:01,199 that I come here and have something to eat, 983 00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:02,920 but I don't think anyone does. 984 00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:04,760 I mean, I'm just having a sandwich, you know. 985 00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:06,360 I mean, after all, it is bread - 986 00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:08,559 I'm having my daily bread, you know. 987 00:41:08,639 --> 00:41:11,280 And I don't think you need to be religious 988 00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:13,000 to feel the effects of a church, 989 00:41:13,039 --> 00:41:15,519 and that's why I choose to come and sit here. 990 00:41:15,599 --> 00:41:18,360 You know, it's a very calming place. 991 00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:20,320 ( CAR ENGINES REV LOUDLY ) 992 00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:40,159 You know, I think the racing event they put on here 993 00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:41,159 is sensational. 994 00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:42,920 I mean, there is something here for everybody. 995 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:44,559 But wouldn't you know it, 996 00:41:44,639 --> 00:41:47,599 you still get the same old pack of pinheads 997 00:41:47,679 --> 00:41:49,480 that wanna ruin it for everyone else. 998 00:41:52,679 --> 00:41:55,519 They camp at the southern end of the racetrack 999 00:41:55,599 --> 00:41:59,480 and they get up to all sorts of mischief. 1000 00:41:59,519 --> 00:42:02,000 The thing that really gets my goat about these monkeys 1001 00:42:02,039 --> 00:42:04,760 is that we have to, by law, 1002 00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:06,480 supply them with these toilets, right? 1003 00:42:06,559 --> 00:42:10,440 And every year, without fail, after the end of the last race, 1004 00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:12,199 they set fire to the bastards. 1005 00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,599 What we'll do is if we can get up there 1006 00:42:14,679 --> 00:42:17,039 15 minutes before the last race starts, right, 1007 00:42:17,119 --> 00:42:18,519 before the Pitman Challenge, 1008 00:42:18,599 --> 00:42:21,480 and the only way we can get there, right, is via the racetrack. 1009 00:42:21,519 --> 00:42:23,519 If we drive around the other side of the track, 1010 00:42:23,599 --> 00:42:26,079 jump over the barrier and we stand with them, 1011 00:42:26,159 --> 00:42:28,400 that'll be enough to deter them from setting fire to them. 1012 00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:29,880 Can't the cops do that? 1013 00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:32,079 Well, no, they can't. Our job's to save the toilets, alright? 1014 00:42:32,159 --> 00:42:33,920 Shut up, Pat, they're not worried about fuckin' toilets. 1015 00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:35,400 What's wrong with you, you plonker? 1016 00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:37,599 We haven't... Guys, just focus for a minute, alright? 1017 00:42:37,679 --> 00:42:39,760 There's only a few more cars to drag, 1018 00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:41,280 so we should get going now, right? 1019 00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:08,760 You know, if I can just save one toilet, I'll be happy, I reckon. 1020 00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:10,320 You have got to be joking! 1021 00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:11,800 It's the equaliser, isn't it? 1022 00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:14,440 Oh, Jesus Christ, fellas, can we just work together? 1023 00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:16,000 Can we just work together on this one? 1024 00:43:16,079 --> 00:43:18,400 Put the bloody thumper bar away, mate! 1025 00:43:20,599 --> 00:43:22,800 Shit! Jesus Christ. 1026 00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:24,400 The fuckin' race has started. 1027 00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:25,880 Look, just pull over. Hey, shut up. 1028 00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:28,280 Hang on, boys! 1029 00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:31,840 Just hang on! Shut it! 1030 00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:33,320 For fuck's sake! 1031 00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:34,440 Just keep... 1032 00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:36,840 ( TRUCK HORNS BLARE ) 1033 00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:38,840 We're here driving in the middle of a truck race... 1034 00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:40,880 Don't worry about anything! (Yells indistinctly) 1035 00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:42,599 Just hang on! Let me concentrate! 1036 00:43:42,679 --> 00:43:44,360 Now, shut up, for Christ's sake. 1037 00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:46,000 Are the boys on the back alright? 1038 00:43:46,039 --> 00:43:48,400 Pat, just look at the boys in the back. Are they alright? 1039 00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:49,880 I don't believe it, Pat. 1040 00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:51,360 You're fuckin' like a nancy fuckin' ninny! 1041 00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:53,400 Guys, can we just calm down?! - He is out of control. 1042 00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:55,000 What do you mean 'out of control'?! 1043 00:43:55,039 --> 00:43:57,159 You are fuckin' out of control. - I'm not out of fuckin' control! 1044 00:43:57,280 --> 00:43:59,000 Please, do me a favour... 1045 00:43:59,079 --> 00:44:00,639 Oh, Jesus Christ, 1046 00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:02,920 they've already lit one of the toilets, the bastards! 1047 00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:07,800 Alright, guys, there's a break, come on! 1048 00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:09,880 Come on. Go, go, go! 1049 00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:12,039 Go to the wall! 1050 00:44:12,119 --> 00:44:13,639 Oh, look at these mongrels. 1051 00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:17,159 What are you doing, Pat? What are you doing?! 1052 00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:19,840 Sammy, wait for... Sammy?! Sammy?! 1053 00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:23,199 (Crowd roars) 1054 00:44:41,679 --> 00:44:42,440 Get it up. 1055 00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:49,000 Oi! You spilled my beer, you bastards! 1056 00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:54,559 Let go of him. 1057 00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:04,280 Oh, Jesus! 1058 00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:06,960 Put it out, Thommo. Put it out. No, mate, me! 1059 00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:09,320 Leg, leg, leg! Oh, jeez. 1060 00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:11,920 Get it, Thommo. Put it out. Get it! 1061 00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:13,400 Right, that's enough! 1062 00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:15,320 You've all had enough fun now, alright? 1063 00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:17,039 (Crowd cheers) Come on, you've had your fun! 1064 00:45:17,119 --> 00:45:19,519 Get going, you hoons! 1065 00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:25,840 Let's lock 'em all up, boys. They're unlocked. 1066 00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:27,519 Let's lock 'em up. Alright. 1067 00:45:27,599 --> 00:45:30,000 You right? Yeah, I'm alright. 1068 00:45:30,039 --> 00:45:31,480 Everyone alright? 1069 00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:47,480 Pretty crazy old night that one, wasn't it? 1070 00:45:47,519 --> 00:45:48,960 I mean, that's really put me 1071 00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:51,519 to the end of my test tonight, I tell you what. 1072 00:45:51,599 --> 00:45:54,000 That's...that's almost my limit, I reckon. 1073 00:45:54,039 --> 00:45:56,199 I mean, no man should be set on fire 1074 00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:59,000 trying to save one of his shitters, you know. 1075 00:46:00,519 --> 00:46:03,280 It's... ridiculous. 1076 00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:06,840 (Men sing drunkenly) 1077 00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:14,360 The problem is it's Glenn's decision, 1078 00:46:14,440 --> 00:46:15,960 I won't be able to have you here 1079 00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:17,519 and I'm sorry it's worked out that way. 1080 00:46:17,599 --> 00:46:20,360 All I did was trot up there to try and save the fuckin' toilets. 1081 00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:22,880 But you punched the guy out. He got in the way. 1082 00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:24,360 Sammy, every event we do, 1083 00:46:24,440 --> 00:46:26,280 there's people in between us and the toilets. 1084 00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:27,760 If you run around punching people out 1085 00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:29,360 every time you've gotta get to a toilet, 1086 00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:31,159 we'll have to be sponsored by Don King, mate. 1087 00:46:31,280 --> 00:46:33,039 We're plumbers, you know what I'm saying? 1088 00:46:33,119 --> 00:46:34,119 Well, where was Pat? 1089 00:46:34,199 --> 00:46:35,920 Pat was doing a backward flip, wasn't he? 1090 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:37,679 Mate, I know he was going backwards. 1091 00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:40,519 He's not cut of the same mustard of you and me, mate. 1092 00:46:40,599 --> 00:46:44,679 And the point is, he's paid as a plumber, not a title fighter. 1093 00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:46,360 He's a toilet cleaner, mate. 1094 00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:48,400 Mate, the decision's been made. 1095 00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:52,280 And the reality is that I've just gotta let you go. 1096 00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:56,000 I need this job big-time, I'm telling you. I need it. 1097 00:46:56,039 --> 00:46:58,000 I'm gonna be evicted from me house. 1098 00:46:58,039 --> 00:46:59,840 If I lose this job, I'm gonna have nowhere. 1099 00:46:59,920 --> 00:47:02,039 No, you can't sack me. 1100 00:47:02,119 --> 00:47:04,920 You tell him I'll be here seven o'clock Monday morning. 1101 00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:07,599 Sammy, I can't do that, mate. You know that. 1102 00:47:07,679 --> 00:47:09,559 The only thing I can do for you 1103 00:47:09,639 --> 00:47:11,440 just to get you out of a tight spot 1104 00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:13,039 is I can lend you some money here. 1105 00:47:13,119 --> 00:47:15,039 Throw that in your skyrocket there. 1106 00:47:15,119 --> 00:47:17,119 Thanks, Kenny. I appreciate it. That's alright, mate. 1107 00:47:17,199 --> 00:47:19,159 Just sit there and have a rest for a minute. 1108 00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:20,880 And just let me grab you a coffee 1109 00:47:20,960 --> 00:47:23,920 and just sit there for a minute and have a rest, eh? 1110 00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:34,360 ( BELL RINGS ) 1111 00:47:37,599 --> 00:47:39,119 Go, Kenny, go! 1112 00:47:41,039 --> 00:47:43,000 Dig deep! Go on! Dig deep! 1113 00:47:44,280 --> 00:47:46,119 Kenny, what are you doing?! 1114 00:47:46,199 --> 00:47:48,960 Come on, Ken, work! Work it! 1115 00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:51,039 Work! Hold it up! 1116 00:47:51,119 --> 00:47:53,639 What are you doing, Kenny?! Come here! 1117 00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:55,119 You can't train like this, mate. 1118 00:47:55,199 --> 00:47:58,039 You either gotta give it a fair go or get out. 1119 00:47:58,119 --> 00:48:01,320 Now get in there and have a go. I might call it a night, eh? 1120 00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:03,039 I'm not feeling up to it. 1121 00:48:13,639 --> 00:48:15,639 You've gotta have someone else to do this. 1122 00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:18,079 I can't do all this with all the work we've got on. 1123 00:48:18,159 --> 00:48:21,760 With Sammy gone and bloody Pat off getting married, Glenn, 1124 00:48:21,840 --> 00:48:23,199 I can't do this. 1125 00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:25,039 GLENN: Look, you're going. I've already booked the tickets. 1126 00:48:25,119 --> 00:48:26,119 What do you mean... 1127 00:48:26,199 --> 00:48:27,599 And you're flying business class too. 1128 00:48:27,679 --> 00:48:29,360 But you told me about this show. 1129 00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:31,440 This show's enormous. Can't you go? 1130 00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:33,760 Listen, relax, you're getting too wound up about it. 1131 00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:35,280 We'll cope down here, alright? 1132 00:48:37,199 --> 00:48:38,679 What's this? 1133 00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:41,159 Believe me, mate, you'll have a ball. 1134 00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:42,159 It's Nashville, Tennessee. 1135 00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:44,079 You'll get over there, you work a couple of days, 1136 00:48:44,159 --> 00:48:45,559 the rest you'll just enjoy yourself. 1137 00:48:45,639 --> 00:48:48,280 Did you know about this? 1138 00:48:48,360 --> 00:48:51,320 ( PHONE RINGS ) 1139 00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:53,119 I'll be buggered. 1140 00:48:54,159 --> 00:48:56,199 Me own business cards. 1141 00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:57,840 (chuckles) 1142 00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:02,440 WOMAN: Hello, Mr Sacks, how are you? 1143 00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:03,920 MAN: Fine, thank you. Very good. 1144 00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:05,760 It's on the far side, thank you very much. 1145 00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:07,199 How are you going? Hello. 1146 00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:09,840 Mr Smyth, that's the far aisle, thank you. 1147 00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:11,840 No worries, alright. There's a card there. 1148 00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:13,880 That's... I'm Kenny, obviously. Alright. 1149 00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:15,360 Just if you need me or anything. 1150 00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:17,159 So, down this way here? No, the far aisle. 1151 00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:19,159 Alright, no worries, thanks for that. 1152 00:49:19,280 --> 00:49:21,159 Gee, look at the size of this. 1153 00:49:32,079 --> 00:49:34,760 There's a lot of people here, isn't there? 1154 00:49:38,679 --> 00:49:41,519 You pop your bags up the top, do you? 1155 00:49:41,599 --> 00:49:43,639 Your bags go up the top, is that right? 1156 00:49:43,760 --> 00:49:45,960 This is, uh... little boy gave me this 1157 00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:48,119 just to bring this along to remember him. 1158 00:49:48,199 --> 00:49:49,599 'Best Dad', it says. 1159 00:49:49,679 --> 00:49:52,000 It's not a bad award that one, is it? 1160 00:49:57,199 --> 00:50:00,440 I'm, uh... I'm Kenny, anyway, mate. 1161 00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:03,079 How are you going? There's my card there, actually. 1162 00:50:03,159 --> 00:50:04,679 That's my name there. 1163 00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:07,400 This your first time on a plane? 1164 00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:09,760 No, you fly quite a bit. 1165 00:50:11,599 --> 00:50:13,280 Better whack the old seatbelt on. 1166 00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:14,400 I wonder what the fine 1167 00:50:14,480 --> 00:50:16,199 for not wearing a seatbelt on a plane is. 1168 00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:19,039 It's 150 bucks in a car, it'd cost a fortune on a plane. 1169 00:50:19,119 --> 00:50:20,519 INTERCOM: Ladies and gentlemen, 1170 00:50:20,599 --> 00:50:22,119 from the flight deck, a very good morning. 1171 00:50:22,199 --> 00:50:24,119 The captain speaking... 1172 00:50:24,199 --> 00:50:27,119 This is fun. This is fun. 1173 00:50:29,519 --> 00:50:32,880 I wish me boy could be here with me. He'd love this. 1174 00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:42,000 Here we go. 1175 00:50:54,559 --> 00:50:56,119 Where does the...the...? 1176 00:50:57,400 --> 00:50:58,960 I'm not sure how that plugs in. 1177 00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:03,599 It must be...screwed into the backing plate or something. 1178 00:51:03,679 --> 00:51:05,480 ( TOILET FLUSHES ) 1179 00:51:05,559 --> 00:51:07,360 Holy shit! 1180 00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:09,000 Hell's bells! 1181 00:51:09,079 --> 00:51:10,599 That is just off its tree. 1182 00:51:10,679 --> 00:51:13,079 They've won me over with that. 1183 00:51:13,159 --> 00:51:14,480 There you go, mate. 1184 00:51:14,559 --> 00:51:15,920 Sorry about that. No worries. 1185 00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:17,400 Just watch it in there, mate. 1186 00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:19,280 That machine, once you press that flusher, 1187 00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:22,760 that thing'll probably suck your guts out through your bum. 1188 00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:29,880 I don't know, I guess this'd make sense 1189 00:51:29,960 --> 00:51:31,840 if we were going to Hawaii or something, 1190 00:51:31,920 --> 00:51:34,559 but it's supposed to help with the circulation. 1191 00:51:34,639 --> 00:51:36,840 But I don't know how long you're supposed to do it for, 1192 00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:37,840 you know. 1193 00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:40,199 If I do it for five minutes, is that the world record? 1194 00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:43,000 Or if I do it for two hours, is that not enough? 1195 00:51:59,039 --> 00:52:02,960 Seems to be a problem up there with the toilets. 1196 00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:07,480 Well, they certainly seem to be fussing around with it. 1197 00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:12,880 I think I've broken the toilet 1198 00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:15,840 when I've undone the clips on the back of it. 1199 00:52:15,920 --> 00:52:18,039 I'm gonna have to sort this out. 1200 00:52:18,119 --> 00:52:19,320 You right here? 1201 00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:21,320 Having trouble here? Oh, yeah, look, it's fine. 1202 00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:24,480 The ground staff in L.A. will deal with it when we get there. 1203 00:52:24,519 --> 00:52:25,880 Oh, that's fine. I've, um... 1204 00:52:25,960 --> 00:52:27,360 I actually work with Splashdown. 1205 00:52:27,440 --> 00:52:29,760 We fix toilets. I can have a look at it for you. 1206 00:52:29,840 --> 00:52:31,760 Oh, it's fine. Actually, we can't let you in there. 1207 00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:34,639 Oh, no, no, this is actually what I do. It's alright, I'll show you. 1208 00:52:34,760 --> 00:52:36,880 Yeah, I work with toilets all the time. 1209 00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:38,800 This... There's a clip there 1210 00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:41,000 and there's another clip just in there. 1211 00:52:41,079 --> 00:52:43,039 And once you... ( TOILET FLUSHES ) 1212 00:52:43,119 --> 00:52:44,880 Cheers. (Chuckles) 1213 00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:46,679 Well, thanks for doing that. - Oh, that's alright. 1214 00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:48,159 'Cause we're not usually allowed to... 1215 00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:50,159 I mean, that would be... - Oh, it's what I do. 1216 00:52:50,280 --> 00:52:51,480 Kind of what the business does. 1217 00:52:51,519 --> 00:52:52,480 Splashdown. - Yeah. 1218 00:52:52,519 --> 00:52:55,400 Corporate bathroom rentals. It's alright. 1219 00:52:55,480 --> 00:52:57,440 It's nothing too flash but, you know, 1220 00:52:57,480 --> 00:52:59,559 here it is, got me, it's got me travelling overseas. 1221 00:52:59,639 --> 00:53:02,199 In fact, this is my first time I've ever been on an aeroplane. 1222 00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:03,679 (incredulously) No. Ever. 1223 00:53:03,800 --> 00:53:07,119 I'm the first person out of our whole family 1224 00:53:07,199 --> 00:53:10,480 to ever have flown out of Australia. 1225 00:53:10,519 --> 00:53:12,440 And I got a nice little wine here. 1226 00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:14,639 Mind you, like I said, I don't normally drink white wine. 1227 00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:16,119 That's actually not too... - Chardonnay. 1228 00:53:16,199 --> 00:53:18,000 What do you usually drink? - Oh, beer. 1229 00:53:18,039 --> 00:53:19,480 Oh, well, yeah, yeah. 1230 00:53:19,519 --> 00:53:21,960 I drink beer like it's about to go out of fashion 1231 00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:23,440 and I'm the new trendsetter. 1232 00:53:23,480 --> 00:53:25,079 (Laughs) So I love it. 1233 00:53:25,159 --> 00:53:27,079 I'd bath in it, if I had my own way. 1234 00:53:27,159 --> 00:53:28,559 (Laughs) 1235 00:53:28,639 --> 00:53:30,840 Is it alright if I have a bit more of that? 1236 00:53:30,920 --> 00:53:32,480 Yeah, absolutely. - I know it's not beer. 1237 00:53:32,559 --> 00:53:34,000 But I'm getting used to it. 1238 00:53:35,320 --> 00:53:37,920 Now, if I start to wobble when the plane's actually still... 1239 00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:40,599 INTERCOM: Ladies and gentlemen, 1240 00:53:40,679 --> 00:53:42,079 as we're about to begin our descent 1241 00:53:42,159 --> 00:53:43,079 into Los Angeles AirPort, 1242 00:53:43,159 --> 00:53:45,119 would you Please make sure your tray tables are stowed 1243 00:53:45,199 --> 00:53:47,800 and that your safety belts are fastened. 1244 00:53:57,440 --> 00:53:59,480 I didn't know it was gonna be this cold. 1245 00:53:59,559 --> 00:54:03,360 This is freezing. Must be about five degrees or something. 1246 00:54:03,440 --> 00:54:05,559 Oh, thanks. You right? I can grab that if you want. 1247 00:54:05,639 --> 00:54:08,000 Oh, I'll take it. - It's got a bit of weight in that. 1248 00:54:08,039 --> 00:54:10,960 Watch that. So, are you a real cowboy, are you, mate? 1249 00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:14,559 I'm afraid not. To tell you the truth, I'm from New York. 1250 00:54:14,639 --> 00:54:17,679 Oh... I'm Kenny, mate, anyway. (Laughs) - I'm Bobby. 1251 00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:23,360 You're on the wrong side of the car here. 1252 00:54:23,440 --> 00:54:25,480 So, where are you headed? 1253 00:54:25,559 --> 00:54:29,000 I'm going to the... Well, I'm at the poo convention. 1254 00:54:29,039 --> 00:54:31,400 Alright. You know where that is? 1255 00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:33,760 Yeah. Yeah, I do. I do. 1256 00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:35,800 Actually, it's been pretty busy with these gentlemen. 1257 00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:38,480 There must be an awful lot of money in crap, huh? 1258 00:54:38,559 --> 00:54:39,480 Yeah, well... 1259 00:54:39,559 --> 00:54:41,480 Yeah, well, to be quite honest, there's a shitload of it. 1260 00:54:41,559 --> 00:54:43,000 (Laughs) 1261 00:54:43,039 --> 00:54:44,159 You've probably been doing 1262 00:54:44,280 --> 00:54:45,639 some business for us this morning. 1263 00:54:45,760 --> 00:54:48,280 I can't get over the size of this place, Bobby. 1264 00:55:03,039 --> 00:55:05,280 There aren't many cowboys in Nashville. 1265 00:55:05,360 --> 00:55:07,480 It's about the music industry. 1266 00:55:07,519 --> 00:55:10,840 There's no ranches, there's no cattle, there's no sheep. 1267 00:55:10,920 --> 00:55:13,000 (Laughs) Yeah, right. (Laughs) - You know? 1268 00:55:13,079 --> 00:55:14,639 Look at that city. 1269 00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:20,480 MAN ON RADIO: I got this notice the other day. 1270 00:55:20,519 --> 00:55:22,840 Now, down at the Nashville Convention Centre, 1271 00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:24,920 today and for the next couple of days, 1272 00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:27,039 we've got the world international 1273 00:55:27,119 --> 00:55:29,440 Pumper and Cleaner Show. 1274 00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:30,920 Now, they've actually been kind enough 1275 00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:33,400 to send us four tickets, 1276 00:55:33,480 --> 00:55:35,280 and we'll be taking your calls soon 1277 00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:39,079 and I'm going to give away these tickets to the People... 1278 00:55:39,159 --> 00:55:41,280 Well, mate, Bobby, I gotta tell you, 1279 00:55:41,360 --> 00:55:42,760 you're a real cowboy to me, mate. 1280 00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:44,679 Oh, well, thank you, thank you. - You're the real deal. 1281 00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:46,159 And there's my card too, Bob, 1282 00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:49,480 if ever you need to get a hold of me for whatever reason. 1283 00:55:49,519 --> 00:55:52,679 Alright, enjoy, you know, the shit-flinging convention. 1284 00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:54,159 (both laugh) 1285 00:55:54,280 --> 00:55:56,280 Thanks, mate. I will. - Have a good time. 1286 00:55:56,360 --> 00:55:57,760 Look after yourself, Bob. Alright. 1287 00:55:57,840 --> 00:55:59,360 See youse, mate. - Have a good night. 1288 00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:19,519 Oh, Jesus. 1289 00:56:19,599 --> 00:56:21,119 You see the snow? 1290 00:56:21,199 --> 00:56:23,599 That's...quite pretty. 1291 00:56:23,679 --> 00:56:25,159 Good on 'em. 1292 00:56:25,280 --> 00:56:27,000 ( ALARM RINGS ) 1293 00:56:27,039 --> 00:56:29,000 Yep, yep, yep, yep. 1294 00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:35,760 You know, the most exciting time for me 1295 00:56:35,840 --> 00:56:37,199 when I was a kid growing up 1296 00:56:37,320 --> 00:56:39,119 was once a year, Dad would take us 1297 00:56:39,199 --> 00:56:41,480 to the Royal Melbourne Show in the city 1298 00:56:41,559 --> 00:56:44,559 to see all the tractors and the animals and whatnot. 1299 00:56:44,639 --> 00:56:47,280 I never thought I'd feel that way again. 1300 00:56:47,360 --> 00:56:49,519 Who was to know I would end up 1301 00:56:49,599 --> 00:56:52,400 in the land of bloody flags and anthems 1302 00:56:52,480 --> 00:56:56,079 at a toilet expo, Poo HQ? 1303 00:56:56,159 --> 00:56:58,800 Jesus Christ. 1304 00:56:59,920 --> 00:57:02,880 (Chuckles) 1305 00:57:04,079 --> 00:57:05,679 Oh, yes. 1306 00:57:05,800 --> 00:57:07,960 Oh, yes. 1307 00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:35,000 Look at that girl there. 1308 00:57:35,079 --> 00:57:37,360 Now, that would be a dream. 1309 00:57:37,440 --> 00:57:39,800 (Reads) "Working today for a cleaner tomorrow." 1310 00:57:39,880 --> 00:57:41,800 See, they've even got pride in their slogans. 1311 00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:43,360 And look, they're driving a Kenworth. 1312 00:57:43,440 --> 00:57:44,840 I mean, forget the kids. 1313 00:57:44,920 --> 00:57:47,000 If I saw this go on the road, I'd be impressed. 1314 00:57:47,039 --> 00:57:49,119 How you going? Kenny from Australia. 1315 00:57:49,199 --> 00:57:51,519 Good, Larry. - You're from Australia? 1316 00:58:10,679 --> 00:58:13,199 You seen the name? It's Ameri-Can. 1317 00:58:13,320 --> 00:58:14,760 Eh? 1318 00:58:14,840 --> 00:58:16,199 So that's all hydraulically lifted? 1319 00:58:16,320 --> 00:58:17,199 It's all hydraulic. 1320 00:58:17,320 --> 00:58:19,360 When we get ready to move the trailer, 1321 00:58:19,440 --> 00:58:21,599 we go in and push a couple of buttons 1322 00:58:21,679 --> 00:58:23,079 and that lifts right up. 1323 00:58:23,159 --> 00:58:25,480 You could eat your dinner off that. 1324 00:58:25,559 --> 00:58:26,960 (Chuckles) "Scotty's Potties." 1325 00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:28,440 MAN: There's also John's Johns. 1326 00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:31,119 There's a company in Australia called "Henry the Turd". 1327 00:58:31,199 --> 00:58:33,039 Henry the Turd? - Henry the Turd. 1328 00:58:33,119 --> 00:58:34,559 Oh, my God. 1329 00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:39,440 Have you been downstairs? 1330 00:58:39,480 --> 00:58:40,920 Downstairs? Oh, still? 1331 00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:43,280 Well, this joint is like an expo lasagne - 1332 00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:44,800 there's layers and layers. 1333 00:58:44,880 --> 00:58:46,559 I'm serious. - Oh, yeah? 1334 00:58:46,639 --> 00:58:48,800 So it's the same... Well, I'm going down there now. 1335 00:58:48,880 --> 00:58:51,000 If you want, you can follow me, it's right underneath us. 1336 00:58:51,079 --> 00:58:52,599 Do you wanna follow...? Yeah, grab your mates. 1337 00:58:52,679 --> 00:58:54,480 'Cause I'm walking down there anyway. 1338 00:58:54,559 --> 00:58:55,880 How are you going, mate? 1339 00:58:55,960 --> 00:58:57,199 Kenny from Australia. Hey, mate. 1340 00:58:57,320 --> 00:58:59,320 So, what brings you guys here? What brings you...? 1341 00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:01,039 We're having the World Expo next year, 1342 00:59:01,119 --> 00:59:04,920 and just looking for the luxury toilets for that event. 1343 00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:07,440 Oh, OK, like with all the good taps, all the good basins 1344 00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:08,920 and the televisions, and all that sort of... 1345 00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:10,400 Televisions? 1346 00:59:10,480 --> 00:59:12,599 Yeah, well, obviously all the good stuff you want in it. 1347 00:59:12,679 --> 00:59:14,480 Whatever you're looking for, you'll find it here, mate. 1348 00:59:14,519 --> 00:59:15,960 They've got everything. Right. 1349 00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:17,440 That's fantastic. 1350 00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:19,559 It's on wheels. Fits in a freight elevator. 1351 00:59:19,639 --> 00:59:21,559 You can be taking a... going to the bathroom, 1352 00:59:21,639 --> 00:59:23,440 and the guy can be pissing in the back. 1353 00:59:23,480 --> 00:59:25,440 Oh, look at this. You can be taking a piss. 1354 00:59:25,480 --> 00:59:27,360 While watching the other guy taking a shit. 1355 00:59:27,440 --> 00:59:29,000 (Laughs) What you doing down there? 1356 00:59:29,079 --> 00:59:31,000 You guys have a convention like this in Australia? 1357 00:59:31,039 --> 00:59:32,599 No, mate, we got nothing. Not like this. 1358 00:59:32,679 --> 00:59:34,400 If you're talking about beer, 1359 00:59:34,480 --> 00:59:36,119 there's a convention every afternoon. 1360 00:59:36,199 --> 00:59:37,519 (Man laughs) 1361 00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:42,320 (Mutters) I see, they've got a spring that goes into the... 1362 00:59:42,400 --> 00:59:43,960 How do they get that to go in...? 1363 00:59:56,159 --> 00:59:57,679 (Crowd chants) Who?! WOMAN: Why? 1364 00:59:57,800 --> 00:59:59,159 (Crowd chants) Why?! 1365 00:59:59,280 --> 01:00:01,000 When?! 1366 01:00:01,039 --> 01:00:02,599 Why?! 1367 01:00:02,679 --> 01:00:04,320 MAN: That was great! 1368 01:00:04,400 --> 01:00:05,920 Wow! 1369 01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:07,960 MAN: Ladies and gentlemen, Robin Crow. 1370 01:00:10,400 --> 01:00:13,360 (Plays jangly guitar music) 1371 01:00:22,840 --> 01:00:25,519 (Sings) # It's a natural reaction 1372 01:00:25,599 --> 01:00:28,320 # Wanting to make those quantum leaps 1373 01:00:28,400 --> 01:00:31,000 # But I'm not afraid to jump off that ledge 1374 01:00:31,039 --> 01:00:33,000 # I'm not afraid to dive in deep. # 1375 01:00:36,519 --> 01:00:37,960 Thank you. 1376 01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:40,039 ( APPLAUSE ) 1377 01:00:42,800 --> 01:00:45,480 That was all very impressive, wasn't it? 1378 01:00:45,559 --> 01:00:48,199 Very...very advanced, I thought, the information. 1379 01:00:48,320 --> 01:00:49,679 Very futuristic. 1380 01:00:49,800 --> 01:00:51,400 He was talking about the 'aloominum' pipes, 1381 01:00:51,480 --> 01:00:52,480 at one point. 1382 01:00:52,519 --> 01:00:53,960 I spent that long trying to figure out 1383 01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:54,960 what 'aloominum' was 1384 01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:57,360 that I missed out what the point was of fixing the pipe, 1385 01:00:57,440 --> 01:00:58,880 but some good information there, I think. 1386 01:00:58,960 --> 01:01:02,000 I think I'll be able to use some of that in dealing with people. 1387 01:01:02,039 --> 01:01:04,360 And I got a certificate, 1388 01:01:04,440 --> 01:01:07,000 attendance recognition certificate. 1389 01:01:07,079 --> 01:01:08,519 It's not bad, is it? 1390 01:01:25,480 --> 01:01:29,400 Yes, could I be put through to room 176, please? 1391 01:01:31,400 --> 01:01:32,840 Yeah, Jackie, it's Kenny. 1392 01:01:33,880 --> 01:01:35,920 Yeah, good. 1393 01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:37,440 Yes. 1394 01:01:37,480 --> 01:01:39,000 Yeah, on...on the card? 1395 01:01:40,079 --> 01:01:41,639 Yes. (Chuckles) 1396 01:01:41,760 --> 01:01:43,760 Yourself? 1397 01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:45,840 Oh, fantastic. 1398 01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:48,039 How long for? 1399 01:01:48,119 --> 01:01:50,360 Yeah, love to! 1400 01:01:50,440 --> 01:01:52,199 Yeah, well, I've only just come into my room 1401 01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:53,960 so I've just gotta spruce meself up 1402 01:01:54,000 --> 01:01:55,880 with a bit of cut and polish. 1403 01:01:55,960 --> 01:01:58,079 There's a couple of hours in that! 1404 01:01:58,159 --> 01:02:00,519 What's that? On a horse? 1405 01:02:00,599 --> 01:02:02,920 Oh, OK. (Chuckles) Yeah. 1406 01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:06,000 Alright, well, I'll see you in...at the Wildhorse. 1407 01:02:11,880 --> 01:02:13,800 Well, this is definitely it. 1408 01:02:13,880 --> 01:02:17,199 That's the Wildhorse. I just asked the security bloke. 1409 01:02:18,280 --> 01:02:21,159 This all feels a bit... bit silly. 1410 01:02:21,280 --> 01:02:22,840 I mean, I've got nothing to wear. 1411 01:02:22,920 --> 01:02:24,679 I didn't know we were gonna be going out. 1412 01:02:24,800 --> 01:02:26,159 This is a dance club or something. 1413 01:02:26,280 --> 01:02:28,800 They do linedancing or something in there. 1414 01:02:28,880 --> 01:02:31,079 And, you know, I... 1415 01:02:31,159 --> 01:02:34,079 ..I can't help but think she thinks I'm rich. 1416 01:02:34,159 --> 01:02:36,639 You know, she met me in business class, you know. 1417 01:02:36,760 --> 01:02:38,760 She probably thinks I'm loaded. 1418 01:02:38,840 --> 01:02:41,000 And it was all because I'm bloody sitting in Glenn's seat. 1419 01:02:41,079 --> 01:02:42,760 I'm filling in for him. 1420 01:02:42,840 --> 01:02:45,639 Anyway, I promised I'd meet her. 1421 01:02:47,559 --> 01:02:51,960 (Man sings) # I got my own problems, baby 1422 01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:55,840 # Tell somebody else, baby 1423 01:02:55,920 --> 01:02:59,639 # I got my own problems, baby 1424 01:02:59,760 --> 01:03:03,159 # Tell somebody else, baby... # 1425 01:03:30,960 --> 01:03:32,840 Whoops! Here's our chance. 1426 01:03:32,920 --> 01:03:34,320 JACKIE: That's fantastic. 1427 01:03:34,400 --> 01:03:36,079 You know that guy Randy Travis, the singer? 1428 01:03:36,159 --> 01:03:37,559 Yeah, yeah, the country singer, yeah. 1429 01:03:37,639 --> 01:03:39,119 He started as a dishwasher here 1430 01:03:39,199 --> 01:03:41,800 and his first pay cheque is in a frame on that wall. 1431 01:03:41,880 --> 01:03:43,599 Oh, you're kidding! Nuh. 1432 01:03:43,679 --> 01:03:45,559 Isn't that fantastic? It's amazing. 1433 01:03:45,639 --> 01:03:47,119 And Gorbachev, he was here. 1434 01:03:47,199 --> 01:03:49,480 He was a country singer? - No, he's not a country singer! 1435 01:03:49,559 --> 01:03:51,119 Oh, he's the guy from Russia. I know. 1436 01:03:51,199 --> 01:03:53,000 But all sorts of people, all sorts of country... 1437 01:03:53,079 --> 01:03:55,440 If you stay here long enough... - You get to see them. 1438 01:03:55,480 --> 01:03:57,960 It's a different world, isn't it? It's a different place. 1439 01:03:58,000 --> 01:04:00,159 Look at the size of these ribs! (Laughs) - It's huge! 1440 01:04:00,280 --> 01:04:02,280 No wonder they know what they're doing with their toilets. 1441 01:04:02,360 --> 01:04:03,280 Look at the size of that. 1442 01:04:03,360 --> 01:04:05,159 They must give their toilets a flogging over here. 1443 01:04:05,280 --> 01:04:06,840 That's why they're experts in it. 1444 01:04:07,880 --> 01:04:10,079 I'm sorry - I just realised I always talk about 1445 01:04:10,159 --> 01:04:12,079 working with toilets and poo and stuff 1446 01:04:12,159 --> 01:04:13,920 and it's only because it's what I do. 1447 01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:15,400 No, that's fine. - I'm used to it. 1448 01:04:15,480 --> 01:04:17,119 Don't worry. Don't worry, it's fine. 1449 01:04:17,199 --> 01:04:19,000 I mean, I do the same thing, you know? 1450 01:04:19,079 --> 01:04:20,480 What? You don't... 1451 01:04:20,559 --> 01:04:22,960 I do the same thing, but 30,000 feet up in the air. 1452 01:04:23,000 --> 01:04:24,599 You have to clean the toilets? Yeah. 1453 01:04:24,679 --> 01:04:26,599 Really? Yeah, absolutely. 1454 01:04:26,679 --> 01:04:29,119 This guy in first class had gone to the bathroom, 1455 01:04:29,199 --> 01:04:31,000 flushed the toilet, 1456 01:04:31,079 --> 01:04:33,280 put the vacuum - I don't know, for whatever reason - 1457 01:04:33,360 --> 01:04:34,480 reverse cycled. 1458 01:04:34,519 --> 01:04:37,639 He came out covered head to toe. 1459 01:04:37,760 --> 01:04:39,199 Oh, you're kidding. No. 1460 01:04:39,320 --> 01:04:40,679 ( MOBILE PHONE RINGS ) It's alright. 1461 01:04:40,800 --> 01:04:42,639 Hello? 1462 01:04:43,840 --> 01:04:45,559 Oh, hello. 1463 01:04:45,639 --> 01:04:48,400 I mean, if you can't control him from the lounge room, 1464 01:04:48,480 --> 01:04:51,079 how am I supposed to do it from Nashville, Tennessee? 1465 01:04:52,480 --> 01:04:55,840 Yeah, well... Well, pop him on the phone. 1466 01:04:55,920 --> 01:04:57,960 G'day, mate. 1467 01:04:58,000 --> 01:04:59,440 It's my boy. 1468 01:04:59,480 --> 01:05:01,000 How you doing? 1469 01:05:01,079 --> 01:05:03,440 I'm good, mate. I'm fantastic. 1470 01:05:04,480 --> 01:05:06,000 And a what? 1471 01:05:06,079 --> 01:05:08,320 Yeah, well, you might want to just hold it there, mate, 1472 01:05:08,400 --> 01:05:09,800 'cause that's a fair bit. 1473 01:05:09,880 --> 01:05:11,840 I don't know if I'll fit it on the plane. 1474 01:05:11,920 --> 01:05:12,880 We'll have to hire another plane! 1475 01:05:12,960 --> 01:05:14,400 Yeah, and behave yourself, will you? 1476 01:05:14,480 --> 01:05:18,000 Don't... Don't upset your mum too much. 1477 01:05:18,039 --> 01:05:19,920 Alright. Love you, mate. 1478 01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:22,920 That's me ex-wife that rung me up. 1479 01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:24,480 She's something else. 1480 01:05:24,519 --> 01:05:27,400 She is the chief commissioner and senior sergeant 1481 01:05:27,480 --> 01:05:28,880 of the fun police. 1482 01:05:28,960 --> 01:05:32,119 She's here to outlaw fun altogether. There's your pad. 1483 01:05:32,199 --> 01:05:33,639 Thanks for that. - Thank you. 1484 01:05:33,760 --> 01:05:36,320 Every time, every time without fail 1485 01:05:36,400 --> 01:05:38,639 that I'm having a good time, or I'm enjoying myself, 1486 01:05:38,760 --> 01:05:40,920 or I'm not at work and I'm just calming down, 1487 01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:42,480 or like I'm here, she rings. 1488 01:05:42,519 --> 01:05:44,920 Well, glad you're having a good time. 1489 01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:46,519 I am having a good time. - Yeah. 1490 01:05:46,599 --> 01:05:48,599 Don't say that out loud 'cause she'll ring again. 1491 01:05:48,679 --> 01:05:51,039 (Laughs) She knows. 1492 01:05:51,119 --> 01:05:53,480 Now, I've got a small confession to make. 1493 01:05:53,519 --> 01:05:54,480 Oh, really? 1494 01:05:54,519 --> 01:05:56,840 Yeah, a bit of an apology or a confession. 1495 01:05:56,920 --> 01:05:59,280 I'd never been on an aeroplane or seen the toilets on them 1496 01:05:59,360 --> 01:06:01,320 so I wanted to know how it worked. 1497 01:06:01,400 --> 01:06:04,440 So I pulled the lid off the back of it 1498 01:06:04,480 --> 01:06:07,440 and I left one of the clips off. 1499 01:06:07,480 --> 01:06:08,440 Are you serious? 1500 01:06:08,480 --> 01:06:10,440 And I didn't put the thing back on. 1501 01:06:10,480 --> 01:06:11,920 (Laughs) So, sorry. 1502 01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:13,400 It's working now, isn't it? 1503 01:06:13,480 --> 01:06:16,000 I got it fixed, didn't I? - Yeah, it's fine, it's fine. 1504 01:06:16,039 --> 01:06:17,760 Anyway, let's not... - Oh, God. 1505 01:06:17,840 --> 01:06:19,840 It works now. You should eat. - Yeah, I will. 1506 01:06:19,920 --> 01:06:21,320 Before your meal gets warm, 1507 01:06:21,400 --> 01:06:22,800 and I should before mine gets cold. 1508 01:06:22,880 --> 01:06:24,280 Look at the size of this thing. 1509 01:06:24,360 --> 01:06:26,400 No wonder there's no longer dinosaurs on the earth. 1510 01:06:26,480 --> 01:06:28,920 They've killed the last one. Here it is on me plate! 1511 01:06:32,119 --> 01:06:34,400 There you go, Jackie. Watch the gutter there. 1512 01:06:34,480 --> 01:06:36,199 Watch your step. You right? - Oh, thanks, Kenny. 1513 01:06:36,320 --> 01:06:37,679 Just watch it there, Jackie. - Thank you. 1514 01:06:37,800 --> 01:06:39,360 Don't slip over. I'd hate that. - Ooh! 1515 01:06:39,440 --> 01:06:40,880 Alright, well, I'll see you later, then. 1516 01:06:40,960 --> 01:06:43,599 Oh, thanks. Hey, listen, do you want a lift? It's pouring rain. 1517 01:06:43,679 --> 01:06:45,679 No, it's fine, I'm only just... - I'll take you somewhere. 1518 01:06:45,800 --> 01:06:47,519 No, I'm only a couple of blocks from here. 1519 01:06:47,599 --> 01:06:48,519 I don't mind walking. 1520 01:06:48,599 --> 01:06:50,280 Are you sure? - Yeah, I love the rain. 1521 01:06:50,360 --> 01:06:52,000 I honestly do. - You're crazy. 1522 01:06:52,039 --> 01:06:53,960 (Laughs) I'll see you later. - Hey, listen. 1523 01:06:54,000 --> 01:06:55,440 You know, I've got tomorrow off 1524 01:06:55,480 --> 01:06:57,679 so maybe I could help you shop for your son. 1525 01:06:57,800 --> 01:06:59,360 Yeah. - I could show you Nashville. 1526 01:06:59,440 --> 01:07:01,119 Alright, well, I've got a deal for you. 1527 01:07:01,199 --> 01:07:02,599 You show me round Nashville 1528 01:07:02,679 --> 01:07:04,079 and I'll show you round the expo 1529 01:07:04,159 --> 01:07:05,920 so you can see what I do for a job. 1530 01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:07,519 OK, that's a good deal. - Wanna do that? 1531 01:07:07,599 --> 01:07:09,000 I'd love to. - Oh, that'd be great. 1532 01:07:09,079 --> 01:07:11,519 Well, we'll meet, say, 9:30 at the front, yeah? 1533 01:07:11,599 --> 01:07:13,039 Yep, 9:30 at the front. - Alright. 1534 01:07:13,119 --> 01:07:14,519 OK. - That's perfect. 1535 01:07:14,599 --> 01:07:16,960 Put your belt on. You'll get yourself in trouble. You right? 1536 01:07:18,840 --> 01:07:20,280 She's a nice girl, isn't she? 1537 01:07:22,159 --> 01:07:24,960 Looks like I'm gonna have half a day off! 1538 01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:26,840 Which would be good. 1539 01:07:26,920 --> 01:07:28,599 Good on her. 1540 01:07:28,679 --> 01:07:31,800 (Laughs incredulously) 1541 01:07:33,039 --> 01:07:34,480 Good on her. 1542 01:07:53,000 --> 01:07:55,199 You know, it must be very difficult for Jackie 1543 01:07:55,320 --> 01:07:57,000 to do a job like she does, 1544 01:07:57,079 --> 01:07:59,039 you know, flying around in the air 1545 01:07:59,119 --> 01:08:00,800 in a tube full of strangers, 1546 01:08:00,880 --> 01:08:02,400 lob in countries with people you don't know. 1547 01:08:02,480 --> 01:08:05,760 You know, it sounds very glamorous but I'm sure it's not. 1548 01:08:05,840 --> 01:08:08,559 You know, and even I've found since I've been over here 1549 01:08:08,639 --> 01:08:11,519 that you see things that make about as much sense 1550 01:08:11,599 --> 01:08:13,840 as a nun at a rock concert, you know. 1551 01:08:13,920 --> 01:08:16,560 And sometimes you just want to turn to someone from home 1552 01:08:16,640 --> 01:08:19,680 and say, "Did you understand what he's talking about?" 1553 01:08:19,760 --> 01:08:21,119 I mean, has someone rung the Queen 1554 01:08:21,199 --> 01:08:23,439 and let her know what they're doing with her language? 1555 01:08:39,720 --> 01:08:40,640 MAN: Ladies and gentlemen, 1556 01:08:40,720 --> 01:08:42,680 put your hands together for the next bullfighter! 1557 01:08:45,560 --> 01:08:47,880 This is the way we do it in Nashville, Tennessee... 1558 01:08:49,399 --> 01:08:51,119 There you go. - Ooh. Look at this guy. 1559 01:08:51,199 --> 01:08:53,000 ..show up, drink shots and have fun. 1560 01:08:56,399 --> 01:08:57,840 Hey. 1561 01:08:57,920 --> 01:08:59,680 I reckon I know who that guy is. 1562 01:08:59,760 --> 01:09:01,800 Serious. I met him yesterday. 1563 01:09:01,880 --> 01:09:03,159 Like, he's not a mate. 1564 01:09:03,239 --> 01:09:04,640 I met him. He's a Japanese businessman. 1565 01:09:07,720 --> 01:09:09,319 MAN: Go, boy! Hee-hoo! 1566 01:09:09,399 --> 01:09:11,319 You would not get me on that thing 1567 01:09:11,399 --> 01:09:12,840 for all the money in China. 1568 01:09:12,920 --> 01:09:14,319 Or Japan. 1569 01:09:19,800 --> 01:09:22,920 MAN: 20! Whoa! Whoa, there! 1570 01:09:24,359 --> 01:09:25,359 (Laughs) 1571 01:09:25,439 --> 01:09:28,000 Mate, you looked fantastic in there. That was a pretty big fall. 1572 01:09:28,079 --> 01:09:29,520 You looked like the bloody Sushi Cowboy 1573 01:09:29,600 --> 01:09:30,680 up there on the bull. 1574 01:09:30,760 --> 01:09:33,119 (Laughs) Sushi Cowboy. - Sushi Cowboy. 1575 01:09:33,199 --> 01:09:34,800 It's not that great, man. 1576 01:09:34,880 --> 01:09:36,439 Where's all your mates? Where's all your buddies? 1577 01:09:36,560 --> 01:09:39,000 Oh, they're at Hooters, you know, with the big, big... 1578 01:09:39,079 --> 01:09:40,800 Oh, hello. Bing bong. Yes. 1579 01:09:40,880 --> 01:09:43,000 But you guys go ahead, so... 1580 01:09:43,079 --> 01:09:44,840 I go back to the hotel. 1581 01:09:44,920 --> 01:09:47,800 Oh, there's no need for you to go back to the hotel, mate. 1582 01:09:47,880 --> 01:09:50,640 Don't let a bloody sore leg and a bad back stand in the way 1583 01:09:50,720 --> 01:09:51,720 of a good night. 1584 01:09:51,800 --> 01:09:54,119 You can stay with us, if you want. We've got no plans. 1585 01:09:54,199 --> 01:09:56,239 What do you want to do? 1586 01:09:57,600 --> 01:10:00,000 MAN: Give it up for the Sushi Cowboy! 1587 01:10:00,039 --> 01:10:02,399 (Sings) # I... 1588 01:10:02,520 --> 01:10:04,319 # Once was lost... # 1589 01:10:06,960 --> 01:10:08,800 # I'm found 1590 01:10:08,880 --> 01:10:12,119 # I once was blind 1591 01:10:12,199 --> 01:10:18,239 # But now I see... # 1592 01:10:18,319 --> 01:10:21,159 ( CHEERING ) 1593 01:10:21,239 --> 01:10:23,640 Hello, Nashville! MAN: Sushi Cowboy! 1594 01:10:23,720 --> 01:10:26,680 ( CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ) 1595 01:10:29,199 --> 01:10:31,239 He's had a pretty big night, hasn't he? 1596 01:10:31,319 --> 01:10:33,239 He sure has. His bull-riding days are over. 1597 01:10:33,319 --> 01:10:34,800 (Laughs) 1598 01:10:40,359 --> 01:10:41,720 What time do you fly out tomorrow? 1599 01:10:41,800 --> 01:10:42,720 3:30. 1600 01:10:42,800 --> 01:10:45,039 Oh, OK, so pretty early. Yeah. 1601 01:10:45,119 --> 01:10:46,840 Sorry, I'll get your lift. 1602 01:10:46,920 --> 01:10:48,439 Well, thanks for inviting me out tonight. 1603 01:10:48,560 --> 01:10:50,000 I had a ball, Jackie, I real... 1604 01:10:50,039 --> 01:10:51,439 Did you? - I honestly did. I did. 1605 01:10:51,560 --> 01:10:53,319 Oh, good. I'm glad you came. It was fun. 1606 01:10:53,399 --> 01:10:55,800 Yeah, so am I. Here's your lift. - Oh, thanks. 1607 01:10:55,880 --> 01:10:58,680 Well, um, do you want to go up to the bar? 1608 01:10:58,760 --> 01:11:00,119 I... A drink or something? 1609 01:11:00,199 --> 01:11:02,560 I'd love to, Jackie, but I really should... 1610 01:11:02,640 --> 01:11:04,640 I mean, the bar's open for another hour. 1611 01:11:04,720 --> 01:11:06,279 Yeah, I would, but the meter's running 1612 01:11:06,359 --> 01:11:09,359 and I better get the Sushi Cowboy back home safe. 1613 01:11:09,439 --> 01:11:11,520 He's off with the fairies, so... - OK. 1614 01:11:11,600 --> 01:11:13,880 But, look, tomorrow, if you're free tomorrow, 1615 01:11:13,960 --> 01:11:15,760 I'd love to see you before you go. 1616 01:11:15,840 --> 01:11:17,119 That would be great. 1617 01:11:17,199 --> 01:11:18,640 Have a coffee at the bar at midday? 1618 01:11:18,720 --> 01:11:19,640 I'd love that. 1619 01:11:19,720 --> 01:11:21,439 That'd be really fun. - Well, I'll come back tomorrow. 1620 01:11:21,560 --> 01:11:23,319 OK. Yeah? Just watch out. 1621 01:11:23,399 --> 01:11:26,399 That lift is gonna snap you like a twig if it closes on your chest. 1622 01:11:26,520 --> 01:11:27,399 OK. 1623 01:11:27,520 --> 01:11:28,680 You're right to get to your room? 1624 01:11:28,760 --> 01:11:30,119 Yeah. - Alright. 1625 01:11:30,199 --> 01:11:32,000 Well, thanks for a good night. I had fun. 1626 01:11:32,039 --> 01:11:33,600 OK. 'Night. - Alright. Take care, Jackie. 1627 01:11:33,680 --> 01:11:35,079 'Bye, Kenny. - See you. 'Bye. 1628 01:11:42,159 --> 01:11:45,079 (Both laugh) 1629 01:11:45,159 --> 01:11:48,279 Yeah, mate, that goes into Ned Kelly's helmet there. 1630 01:11:48,359 --> 01:11:50,039 Right. - Oh. Right, I see. 1631 01:11:50,119 --> 01:11:51,880 There you go. You're in now. Good. 1632 01:11:51,960 --> 01:11:53,920 Thanks for a great night, mate. - Thank you very much. 1633 01:11:54,000 --> 01:11:55,680 I'm really sorry to mess up the night. 1634 01:11:55,760 --> 01:11:57,960 No, you didn't mess it up. - You and your lady. 1635 01:11:58,000 --> 01:11:59,319 I'm sorry. - No, it's all good. 1636 01:11:59,399 --> 01:12:00,720 But I had a good time. 1637 01:12:00,800 --> 01:12:02,520 Thank you. - Me too. See you at the expo. 1638 01:12:02,600 --> 01:12:04,319 Maybe tomorrow morning... (Coughs) 1639 01:12:04,399 --> 01:12:06,920 ..tomorrow morning you could show me 1640 01:12:07,000 --> 01:12:09,039 where the TV toilets are. 1641 01:12:09,119 --> 01:12:10,920 Oh, I don't know if they've got any here. 1642 01:12:11,079 --> 01:12:13,640 Well, I mentioned them because we make them. 1643 01:12:13,720 --> 01:12:15,439 You make them? - Yeah. 1644 01:12:15,560 --> 01:12:17,199 Oh, really? - Fair dinkum. 1645 01:12:19,000 --> 01:12:20,920 Yeah, Glenn, it's me. 1646 01:12:20,960 --> 01:12:23,000 Yeah, look, I've gotta be quick. 1647 01:12:23,039 --> 01:12:26,159 I'm in a meeting with some Japanese gentlemen 1648 01:12:26,239 --> 01:12:28,600 that I've met here at the expo 1649 01:12:28,680 --> 01:12:31,520 and what they wanted to do is get a quote 1650 01:12:31,600 --> 01:12:35,520 on buying some of our 20-foot combo units, 1651 01:12:35,600 --> 01:12:39,720 the VIP 20-foot blocks with the televisions in them. 1652 01:12:39,800 --> 01:12:42,840 But they want a price on them really quickly 1653 01:12:42,920 --> 01:12:45,520 to buy about six or seven units, 1654 01:12:45,600 --> 01:12:47,399 as in the full blocks. 1655 01:12:47,520 --> 01:12:49,079 Yep. Hang on a sec, Glenn. 1656 01:12:49,159 --> 01:12:50,600 67. - What? 1657 01:12:50,680 --> 01:12:52,840 It's not "six or seven", it's sixty-seven. 1658 01:12:52,920 --> 01:12:54,520 Sixty-sev... You're shitting me, aren't you? 1659 01:12:54,600 --> 01:12:58,159 No, serious. - 67... - 67 full 20-foot blocks? 1660 01:12:58,239 --> 01:12:59,319 Units. Units. 1661 01:12:59,399 --> 01:13:00,880 They want 67 of them. 1662 01:13:01,960 --> 01:13:03,520 No, he's as serious as a heart attack. 1663 01:13:03,600 --> 01:13:05,119 No, I'm here with him now. 1664 01:13:05,199 --> 01:13:07,159 Also, we'd like to get a price. - A price. 1665 01:13:07,239 --> 01:13:09,439 In one hour. - One hour. In an hour. 1666 01:13:09,560 --> 01:13:10,960 No, he's fair dinkum. 1667 01:13:11,000 --> 01:13:14,199 Yeah, 67 units, but we need the price in an hour. 1668 01:13:14,279 --> 01:13:16,359 And Mr Sato is coming. - Yeah, I know. 1669 01:13:16,439 --> 01:13:18,640 I know I called him, you know, a freaked-out bastard, 1670 01:13:18,720 --> 01:13:22,000 but he's a bastard to me only, not to you. 1671 01:13:22,079 --> 01:13:23,239 Right. 1672 01:13:23,319 --> 01:13:24,760 See? So just speak to him directly. 1673 01:13:24,840 --> 01:13:26,439 Right, talk to him. - Into his eyes. 1674 01:13:26,560 --> 01:13:28,000 OK. - You talk to him. 1675 01:13:28,039 --> 01:13:30,840 And I will translate because he doesn't speak any English. 1676 01:13:30,920 --> 01:13:32,640 He doesn't speak any English? - No, no, no. 1677 01:13:32,720 --> 01:13:35,119 So just speak to him and I'll translate. 1678 01:13:35,199 --> 01:13:36,840 Oh, you'll translate. I know what you're saying. 1679 01:13:36,920 --> 01:13:38,279 Be yourself. - Yeah, I will. 1680 01:13:38,359 --> 01:13:40,159 ( MOBILE PHONE RINGS ) Hang on a tick. 1681 01:13:40,239 --> 01:13:41,680 Answer this. - Yeah, I will, yeah. 1682 01:13:41,760 --> 01:13:43,720 This could be Glenn now. - Oh, yeah, check the price. 1683 01:13:43,800 --> 01:13:46,000 Yeah, I will, absolutely. Hello? Glenn? 1684 01:13:46,039 --> 01:13:47,079 Sorry, Takashi. 1685 01:13:47,159 --> 01:13:48,600 I can't hear you, mate. Speak up. 1686 01:13:48,680 --> 01:13:50,680 Oh, g'day, mate. Yeah, good. 1687 01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:52,279 Look, Dave, I can't talk now, mate. 1688 01:13:52,359 --> 01:13:56,640 I'm in the mid... Yeah, hang on, I'm in the middle of a... Yep. 1689 01:13:56,720 --> 01:13:58,119 When did that happen? 1690 01:13:59,720 --> 01:14:01,279 Yeah. 1691 01:14:01,359 --> 01:14:03,640 Well, is he...? Are you with him now? Is he alright? 1692 01:14:06,119 --> 01:14:07,560 Right. 1693 01:14:07,640 --> 01:14:10,399 Well, what do the doctors say? What do...? 1694 01:14:10,520 --> 01:14:12,399 Well, yeah, hang on, don't... 1695 01:14:14,079 --> 01:14:15,520 Well, can you ring me straight back 1696 01:14:15,600 --> 01:14:16,760 when you've spoken to the doctors? 1697 01:14:16,840 --> 01:14:20,039 Yeah. Alright, yeah, but ring me back so I... Yeah. 1698 01:14:26,720 --> 01:14:29,119 Everything's alright. Take care of your dad, you know. 1699 01:14:29,199 --> 01:14:30,640 Yeah. - I'll speak with Glenn. 1700 01:14:30,720 --> 01:14:32,520 Yeah, you can speak to him? - Oh, yeah. 1701 01:14:32,600 --> 01:14:34,800 I'm so sorry, mate. - That's... That's alright. 1702 01:14:34,880 --> 01:14:36,239 Alright, mate, well, I'll speak to you 1703 01:14:36,319 --> 01:14:37,520 when I get back to Australia. 1704 01:14:37,600 --> 01:14:38,640 Right. - Alright, thank you. 1705 01:14:38,720 --> 01:14:39,800 See you, mate. 1706 01:14:42,000 --> 01:14:43,640 Better get my belt on. See you! 1707 01:14:45,720 --> 01:14:48,960 Just to the airport, mate. 1708 01:14:49,000 --> 01:14:51,000 The international. 1709 01:14:51,079 --> 01:14:53,520 Yeah, well, I'm supposed to be meeting her at the bar. 1710 01:14:53,600 --> 01:14:55,000 Well, she's an airline steward 1711 01:14:55,079 --> 01:14:57,159 so she'll be dressed in a uniform. 1712 01:14:57,239 --> 01:15:00,520 Well... Yeah, well, I actually don't know her surname. 1713 01:15:00,600 --> 01:15:03,359 My father's very ill, so l... Actually, don't tell her that, 1714 01:15:03,439 --> 01:15:06,880 Just tell her I'm really, really sorry that I can't make it. 1715 01:15:17,000 --> 01:15:19,039 MAN: He's stable. His obs are looking good. 1716 01:15:19,119 --> 01:15:22,760 The doctor should be in to talk to you in a bit, but he's, um... 1717 01:15:22,840 --> 01:15:24,199 See, he's medicated at the moment 1718 01:15:24,279 --> 01:15:26,159 and obviously exhausted 1719 01:15:26,239 --> 01:15:27,680 but he's not in any pain. 1720 01:15:27,760 --> 01:15:30,439 He's on a list for an operation on Tuesday morning. 1721 01:15:30,560 --> 01:15:32,319 OK. - So you can come back in... 1722 01:15:32,399 --> 01:15:33,359 When I rang the hospital 1723 01:15:33,439 --> 01:15:35,199 they said it was a bleeding ulcer or something. 1724 01:15:35,279 --> 01:15:36,720 And so that's all it is? 1725 01:15:36,800 --> 01:15:39,000 If you're gonna talk about me, at least talk to me. 1726 01:15:39,039 --> 01:15:42,039 I'm awake. I'm not bloody dead, you know. 1727 01:15:42,119 --> 01:15:44,319 How are you, mate? - Oh, how do you reckon I am? 1728 01:15:44,399 --> 01:15:46,920 Stuck in this shithole. 1729 01:15:47,000 --> 01:15:49,359 Where...? Where have you been? 1730 01:15:49,439 --> 01:15:51,119 I got here as soon as I could. 1731 01:15:51,199 --> 01:15:53,439 I've come straight from the airport. 1732 01:15:53,560 --> 01:15:55,159 Am I in your way here? - No. 1733 01:15:55,239 --> 01:15:58,159 Ah. I mean, 70 years of age, and wouldn't you know, 1734 01:15:58,239 --> 01:16:02,119 these pretty little things like this girl here walking round 1735 01:16:02,199 --> 01:16:04,399 and I've been saddled with Daisy here. 1736 01:16:04,520 --> 01:16:06,720 Bloody tailgater. 1737 01:16:06,800 --> 01:16:08,159 He's a nurse, Dad. 1738 01:16:08,239 --> 01:16:10,880 You haven't used your pan. - I don't intend to use it, either. 1739 01:16:10,960 --> 01:16:12,720 There's no way known I'm gonna use that. 1740 01:16:12,800 --> 01:16:15,600 You can shove it up your own arse. I'm not putting it up mine. 1741 01:16:15,680 --> 01:16:17,039 Before you get discharged tomorrow, 1742 01:16:17,119 --> 01:16:18,159 before your operation, 1743 01:16:18,239 --> 01:16:20,720 we need a stool to test whether or not there's blood. 1744 01:16:20,800 --> 01:16:22,560 I'll give you one. I'll give you a sample. 1745 01:16:22,640 --> 01:16:23,680 I'll give you one there 1746 01:16:23,760 --> 01:16:25,119 that Jack O'Toole wouldn't chop through, 1747 01:16:25,199 --> 01:16:26,840 but I'm not doing it in that. 1748 01:16:26,920 --> 01:16:29,199 It's really quite simple. See this? 1749 01:16:29,279 --> 01:16:30,800 Might be simple for you. - See that? 1750 01:16:30,880 --> 01:16:33,000 It'd be like trying to put marshmallow into a moneybox. 1751 01:16:33,039 --> 01:16:35,199 Now, I'm not gonna use it. I'm telling you, son! 1752 01:16:35,279 --> 01:16:38,239 Alright, well, is it... is he OK to go to the toilet if I take him? 1753 01:16:38,319 --> 01:16:39,800 Uh, if he would rather do that, 1754 01:16:39,880 --> 01:16:41,239 then, yeah, sure, I can organise that. 1755 01:16:41,319 --> 01:16:43,159 But it's... I need the stool in this tray. 1756 01:16:43,239 --> 01:16:45,399 OK. Alright. I'll be back in a bit. 1757 01:16:45,520 --> 01:16:46,920 Nightmare, this. - Yeah, well, it's not... 1758 01:16:47,000 --> 01:16:49,560 Don't be having a go at him. He's the one looking after you. 1759 01:16:49,640 --> 01:16:51,920 Yeah, he's the one. I'd rather HER look after me. 1760 01:16:52,000 --> 01:16:54,079 Yeah, well, it doesn't... Look at her. Jesus Christ! 1761 01:16:54,159 --> 01:16:56,079 He wants me to bend over in front of him. 1762 01:16:56,159 --> 01:16:57,079 Have you seen him? 1763 01:16:57,159 --> 01:16:59,399 It's not that he wants to see your backside or something. 1764 01:16:59,520 --> 01:17:02,279 They need to get your stool sample, your poo sample. 1765 01:17:02,359 --> 01:17:05,359 Christ Almighty, I'm too old for this shit. 1766 01:17:05,439 --> 01:17:07,399 Bloody whinge. That's all I get all day. 1767 01:17:07,520 --> 01:17:08,920 Whinge, whinge, whinge. - Yeah. 1768 01:17:09,000 --> 01:17:11,079 Oh, get back on your camel. 1769 01:17:11,159 --> 01:17:13,840 Is that that bloody bastard going again over there? 1770 01:17:13,920 --> 01:17:16,000 (Groans) Must have disorder, mate. 1771 01:17:16,079 --> 01:17:19,199 Alright, you br... ba... bananas 1772 01:17:19,279 --> 01:17:21,119 or whatever you're bloody talking about. 1773 01:17:21,199 --> 01:17:22,800 Dad. Dad. - What? 1774 01:17:22,880 --> 01:17:25,000 This is not the place for it, Dad. It's a hospital. 1775 01:17:25,079 --> 01:17:26,880 Now, keep your voice down. They're sick too, alright? 1776 01:17:26,960 --> 01:17:29,079 Keep my voice down. - Yeah, well, don't... 1777 01:17:29,159 --> 01:17:31,359 Supposed to be a bloody farmer. He's got about 17 kids. 1778 01:17:31,439 --> 01:17:33,119 He hasn't had too much time picking tomatoes, 1779 01:17:33,199 --> 01:17:34,439 I can tell you that. 1780 01:17:34,560 --> 01:17:37,399 Dad, they're sick too, so have a bit of respect, alright? 1781 01:17:37,520 --> 01:17:39,000 Yeah, alright. - Just a bit of respect. 1782 01:17:39,039 --> 01:17:41,000 Get all the nurses and we'll move all this. 1783 01:17:45,000 --> 01:17:48,880 Bloody tubes up me nose and up me arse. 1784 01:17:48,960 --> 01:17:51,279 Now they want bloody stools. 1785 01:17:51,359 --> 01:17:53,039 A man hasn't had anything to eat. 1786 01:17:54,199 --> 01:17:55,640 I'm as thin as a bloody rake. 1787 01:17:55,720 --> 01:17:57,199 You can smell the shit through me ribs. 1788 01:17:57,279 --> 01:17:59,239 They should take a sample there. 1789 01:18:01,920 --> 01:18:04,039 Nurse, that's the sample for Mr Smyth. 1790 01:18:04,119 --> 01:18:06,000 Right. Great, thanks. Alright, thanks. 1791 01:18:07,600 --> 01:18:09,000 You can't get this medication for him. 1792 01:18:09,039 --> 01:18:10,159 He's got to get it himself. 1793 01:18:10,239 --> 01:18:12,159 He's gotta get it himself? OK. - Yeah, it's very important. 1794 01:18:12,239 --> 01:18:14,279 That's not... not today. I want to go today. 1795 01:18:14,359 --> 01:18:16,039 No tomorrow. Forget tomorrow. Today! 1796 01:18:16,119 --> 01:18:18,720 No, we've gotta leave you here on all the gear for the night 1797 01:18:18,800 --> 01:18:20,159 to keep a monitor on you, 1798 01:18:20,239 --> 01:18:21,800 and then the operation is next week. 1799 01:18:21,880 --> 01:18:23,520 The operation is next week? What operation? 1800 01:18:23,600 --> 01:18:25,079 They've got you on a schedule next week. 1801 01:18:25,159 --> 01:18:26,600 The operation on your bloody stomach! 1802 01:18:26,680 --> 01:18:27,600 No operation. 1803 01:18:27,680 --> 01:18:29,800 I'm not having an operation, especially not in here. 1804 01:18:29,880 --> 01:18:31,560 You only hear about the success rate, son, 1805 01:18:31,640 --> 01:18:33,000 you don't hear about their failures, 1806 01:18:33,079 --> 01:18:35,279 about people getting crook a week after an operation, 1807 01:18:35,359 --> 01:18:36,920 them opening them up when it's too late 1808 01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:38,359 and they've got a bloody cutlery set 1809 01:18:38,439 --> 01:18:39,600 or scissors inside them 1810 01:18:39,680 --> 01:18:41,680 that are left inside them by people that are incompetent. 1811 01:18:41,760 --> 01:18:43,319 Dad, you've gotta have the operation. 1812 01:18:43,399 --> 01:18:44,840 If you don't have the operation, 1813 01:18:44,920 --> 01:18:46,079 there really will be some trouble. 1814 01:18:46,159 --> 01:18:47,600 Dad, you have to have the operation. 1815 01:18:47,680 --> 01:18:48,920 You can't say no to that. 1816 01:18:49,000 --> 01:18:51,000 Oh, we'll worry about that when it's supposed to happen, 1817 01:18:51,039 --> 01:18:53,000 but today, I'm going out today, son. 1818 01:18:53,039 --> 01:18:55,119 No, well, Dad, you can't go out today, 1819 01:18:55,199 --> 01:18:57,000 but, look, you've only got one more night here 1820 01:18:57,079 --> 01:18:58,880 and, uh...and we'll get you out of here 1821 01:18:58,960 --> 01:19:00,920 and I'll come back tomorrow and I'll pick you up... 1822 01:19:01,000 --> 01:19:03,000 Wait on, wait on, where are you going, boy? 1823 01:19:03,039 --> 01:19:04,439 Don't... You're not going. 1824 01:19:04,560 --> 01:19:06,039 Christ, you're not going. You... 1825 01:19:06,119 --> 01:19:09,520 And as far as me going home to my place or your place 1826 01:19:09,600 --> 01:19:11,000 or anyone's, that's not on. 1827 01:19:11,039 --> 01:19:13,239 I want you to ring your brother and ring him now. 1828 01:19:13,319 --> 01:19:15,239 There's a couple of things we've gotta sort out 1829 01:19:15,319 --> 01:19:17,920 in our family before I shuffle off. 1830 01:19:18,000 --> 01:19:20,600 I'm telling you now. But don't you leave me in here to rot. 1831 01:19:20,680 --> 01:19:22,439 Alright, Dad. - Leave me in a place like this. 1832 01:19:22,560 --> 01:19:24,720 You may as well leave me in the bloody morgue. 1833 01:19:24,800 --> 01:19:26,359 They'll carry me out of here feet first 1834 01:19:26,439 --> 01:19:27,640 if you leave me in here. 1835 01:19:27,720 --> 01:19:28,640 Alright. 1836 01:19:28,720 --> 01:19:31,000 Wouldn't do that to a dog, let alone your father. 1837 01:19:31,079 --> 01:19:33,279 I'll go and ring him now. - Go and ring him now. 1838 01:19:33,359 --> 01:19:35,159 I'll be back. - You make sure you come back. 1839 01:19:35,239 --> 01:19:36,680 Make sure of it. - I will, Dad. 1840 01:19:36,760 --> 01:19:39,399 Don't leave me here. - I won't. I'll be back. 1841 01:19:50,880 --> 01:19:53,399 DAD: Jesus Christ. This is bloody ridiculous. 1842 01:19:53,520 --> 01:19:55,720 Why didn't we bring your car instead of this bloody thing. 1843 01:19:55,800 --> 01:19:57,960 I'm jammed in here as tight as a fish's arse. 1844 01:19:58,000 --> 01:20:00,159 Well, Dad, the toilet wasn't gonna fit in my car, 1845 01:20:00,239 --> 01:20:02,800 and it sure as hell wasn't gonna fit in Dave's Mercedes. 1846 01:20:02,880 --> 01:20:04,239 I was only thinking of you. 1847 01:20:04,319 --> 01:20:06,239 I brought the truck so I could bring you a real toilet, 1848 01:20:06,319 --> 01:20:08,840 so you didn't have to dig a hole to have a shit. 1849 01:20:13,039 --> 01:20:14,880 Now, see? That makes no sense whatsoever. 1850 01:20:14,960 --> 01:20:16,319 You'll know the front from the back. 1851 01:20:16,399 --> 01:20:18,439 The front will have a door in it, you dickhead. 1852 01:20:19,520 --> 01:20:21,399 Next time youse come up with an idea like this, 1853 01:20:21,520 --> 01:20:23,840 give me a bit of notice so I can slash me wrists. 1854 01:20:23,920 --> 01:20:26,039 Just relax. Alright. I'll tell you what. 1855 01:20:26,119 --> 01:20:28,079 All I want from you pair of buffalo-headed bastards 1856 01:20:28,159 --> 01:20:29,079 on this trip 1857 01:20:29,159 --> 01:20:31,600 is for us to see the sun come up, 1858 01:20:31,680 --> 01:20:33,760 and be there when the sun goes down. 1859 01:20:33,840 --> 01:20:36,000 In between times, please yourself, 1860 01:20:36,079 --> 01:20:37,560 but keep out of my bloody hair. 1861 01:20:37,640 --> 01:20:39,600 But just get that up so a man can have 1862 01:20:39,680 --> 01:20:42,119 somewhere to doss off tonight, for Christ's sake. 1863 01:20:42,199 --> 01:20:44,039 It'll be up any second, Dad. 1864 01:20:52,920 --> 01:20:54,319 DAVE: He's asleep, isn't he? 1865 01:20:55,359 --> 01:20:56,920 Uh...yeah. 1866 01:20:57,000 --> 01:20:59,520 Look at him. - He looks peaceful. 1867 01:20:59,600 --> 01:21:01,079 He looks terrifying. - No, he doesn't. 1868 01:21:01,159 --> 01:21:02,600 He looks peaceful. 1869 01:21:02,680 --> 01:21:04,239 Oh, get out. Jesus. 1870 01:21:04,319 --> 01:21:06,720 Absolute fuckin' frog shit, and you know it. 1871 01:21:06,800 --> 01:21:08,199 I mean, the bastard's not gonna die. 1872 01:21:08,279 --> 01:21:09,920 Jesus Christ. He's gonna outlive both of us. 1873 01:21:10,000 --> 01:21:11,359 He's like a rhino. 1874 01:21:11,439 --> 01:21:13,359 Is this really that tough for you, is it, Dave - 1875 01:21:13,439 --> 01:21:15,800 spending, you know, one night together, 1876 01:21:15,880 --> 01:21:17,239 just you, me and Dad? 1877 01:21:17,319 --> 01:21:20,119 What? You want to wait until he actually is dying? 1878 01:21:20,199 --> 01:21:21,920 Or until he's dead and can't do this? 1879 01:21:23,520 --> 01:21:25,720 And you know damn well why we've come out here. 1880 01:21:25,800 --> 01:21:28,840 You know damn well. This is where he used to bring Mum. 1881 01:21:31,680 --> 01:21:34,680 ( HARMONICA MUSIC ) 1882 01:21:44,680 --> 01:21:46,920 Mum's been dead a long time now, 1883 01:21:47,000 --> 01:21:48,760 but, look, a death in the family 1884 01:21:48,840 --> 01:21:50,840 has different effects on different people. 1885 01:21:50,920 --> 01:21:54,600 For some families, it brings them closer together. 1886 01:21:54,680 --> 01:21:57,880 But for other families, you know, like our circus, 1887 01:21:57,960 --> 01:22:01,239 it's Christmas cards at 20 paces. 1888 01:22:07,439 --> 01:22:09,560 DAD: While I've got you two fellas here, 1889 01:22:09,640 --> 01:22:12,399 I want to talk to you about something. 1890 01:22:12,520 --> 01:22:17,239 When I cark it, I don't want any flash funeral. 1891 01:22:17,319 --> 01:22:20,399 Something nice and simple - get on with it. 1892 01:22:20,520 --> 01:22:23,039 If either of you two blokes want to say a couple of words, 1893 01:22:23,119 --> 01:22:24,560 well, that's up to you. 1894 01:22:24,640 --> 01:22:26,159 You can sort that out after I've gone. 1895 01:22:26,239 --> 01:22:27,680 Just get it over with. 1896 01:22:27,760 --> 01:22:29,399 Tell 'em to light up the Bunsen burner 1897 01:22:29,520 --> 01:22:31,520 and push her into the oven and get her going. 1898 01:22:31,600 --> 01:22:33,640 And for Christ's sake, one other thing. 1899 01:22:33,720 --> 01:22:35,720 Don't let your Uncle Terry get involved, 1900 01:22:35,800 --> 01:22:37,159 because he'll balls it up, 1901 01:22:37,239 --> 01:22:39,000 like he did at your grandmother's funeral. 1902 01:22:39,079 --> 01:22:40,760 So keep him right out of it altogether. 1903 01:22:57,000 --> 01:22:59,359 ( CAR HORN HONKS, MAN YELLS ) 1904 01:23:01,439 --> 01:23:03,760 What the bloody hell is it? DAD: I don't know. 1905 01:23:03,840 --> 01:23:05,880 Could be a bloody bunch of hoons 1906 01:23:05,960 --> 01:23:07,319 spotlight shooting out there. 1907 01:23:07,399 --> 01:23:08,880 For Christ's sake. 1908 01:23:17,520 --> 01:23:18,920 ( CAR HORN HONKS ) 1909 01:23:19,000 --> 01:23:21,000 MAN: Where the hell are you? 1910 01:23:27,640 --> 01:23:30,279 Jesus. What the bloody hell would that be doing here? 1911 01:23:30,359 --> 01:23:33,600 It's for me. I'll see you guys later. I've had a gutful of this. 1912 01:23:33,680 --> 01:23:36,000 What's up with him? - I have no idea. 1913 01:23:36,079 --> 01:23:37,600 Jesus, Al, what took you so long? 1914 01:23:37,680 --> 01:23:39,319 I've been looking for you everywhere. 1915 01:23:39,399 --> 01:23:40,880 I couldn't find you. 1916 01:23:40,960 --> 01:23:42,960 Well, I'll be buggered. 1917 01:23:46,000 --> 01:23:48,039 Well, you know what they say, son. 1918 01:23:48,119 --> 01:23:50,119 It's an old saying. 1919 01:23:50,199 --> 01:23:53,960 "The chef always ruins his first batch of scones." 1920 01:23:54,000 --> 01:23:56,840 And there goes my first burnt offering there. 1921 01:23:56,920 --> 01:24:00,359 He's as useless as tits on a bull. 1922 01:24:01,640 --> 01:24:03,159 Maybe he had to go back to work 1923 01:24:03,239 --> 01:24:04,439 for an important meeting or... 1924 01:24:04,560 --> 01:24:07,079 Kenny, you've gotta stop doing that, boy. 1925 01:24:07,159 --> 01:24:08,600 The trouble is with you, son, 1926 01:24:08,680 --> 01:24:11,239 you've been...walking in his shadow for so long. 1927 01:24:11,319 --> 01:24:13,520 Don't you realise, if you take a step to the side, 1928 01:24:13,600 --> 01:24:15,039 you'll cast a shadow of your own? 1929 01:24:15,119 --> 01:24:18,079 Let some other bastard walk in yours for a change. 1930 01:24:18,159 --> 01:24:20,159 Wake up to yourself, for Christ's sake. 1931 01:24:20,239 --> 01:24:21,720 I'm going to bed. 1932 01:24:24,640 --> 01:24:26,079 Dad? 1933 01:24:26,159 --> 01:24:27,640 Yeah, what is it? 1934 01:24:28,760 --> 01:24:30,960 I've... I've been offered a promotion. 1935 01:24:31,000 --> 01:24:33,880 You've been offered a what? - A promotion. 1936 01:24:33,960 --> 01:24:35,319 Glenn said he was impressed with 1937 01:24:35,399 --> 01:24:38,239 the sale I did to the Japanese in America, 1938 01:24:38,319 --> 01:24:41,079 and he's asked me to run the office in Sydney. 1939 01:24:41,159 --> 01:24:42,600 Well, that's good. 1940 01:24:42,680 --> 01:24:44,600 When do you kick off? When do you start her? 1941 01:24:44,680 --> 01:24:47,199 Oh, I haven't said yes yet. I'm trying to make my mind up. 1942 01:24:47,279 --> 01:24:49,520 What do you mean? Why haven't you said yes yet? 1943 01:24:49,600 --> 01:24:51,000 Well, you know, I've gotta decide 1944 01:24:51,039 --> 01:24:53,399 whether I want to be off the road, you know, 1945 01:24:53,520 --> 01:24:55,279 and I've been working with the crew in Melbourne 1946 01:24:55,359 --> 01:24:56,800 for a long while, Dad. 1947 01:24:56,880 --> 01:24:58,359 Yeah, but what do you want to do? 1948 01:24:58,439 --> 01:25:00,640 Do you want to be a crap crawler all your life? 1949 01:25:00,720 --> 01:25:03,119 This is your chance for you to get out of the shit. 1950 01:25:03,199 --> 01:25:06,760 But I don't know if I'm cut out for just a desk job. 1951 01:25:06,840 --> 01:25:09,000 Well, you'll never know until you give it a try. 1952 01:25:09,079 --> 01:25:10,520 Don't you realise in this world 1953 01:25:10,600 --> 01:25:13,960 that people don't look up to you until you're sitting down? 1954 01:25:14,000 --> 01:25:15,399 Take the desk job. 1955 01:25:15,520 --> 01:25:18,239 I actually don't want to be away from the boy, Dad. 1956 01:25:18,319 --> 01:25:19,960 I don't want to be away from Jesse. 1957 01:25:20,000 --> 01:25:21,399 I know you've got Jesse. 1958 01:25:21,520 --> 01:25:22,920 Of course I know you've got Jesse. 1959 01:25:23,000 --> 01:25:24,800 And you've got a great relationship with him too. 1960 01:25:24,880 --> 01:25:26,239 But do you think when he's 16 1961 01:25:26,319 --> 01:25:29,039 he'll want you to be driving him to school in the crap cart? 1962 01:25:29,119 --> 01:25:31,880 You're gonna do your same old caper, are you? 1963 01:25:31,960 --> 01:25:34,840 Take a backward step and let everyone stand all over you? 1964 01:25:34,920 --> 01:25:37,039 I just need a bit of time to think about it. 1965 01:25:37,119 --> 01:25:39,439 Glenn doesn't want an answer for a few days yet. 1966 01:25:39,560 --> 01:25:41,760 So I've just gotta get through the Melbourne Cup, 1967 01:25:41,840 --> 01:25:43,199 and once I've survived that... 1968 01:25:43,279 --> 01:25:44,880 Survive the Melbourne Cup. 1969 01:25:44,960 --> 01:25:47,159 The Melbourne Cup's been survived for 200 years. 1970 01:25:47,239 --> 01:25:50,000 But, anyway, you run your own race. 1971 01:25:50,079 --> 01:25:51,800 Just put that bloody light off, will you? 1972 01:25:51,880 --> 01:25:53,720 I've gotta get a bit of sleep. 1973 01:25:54,760 --> 01:25:56,840 Goodnight, Dad. - Goodnight, son. 1974 01:26:17,439 --> 01:26:19,800 ( CAR HORN HONKS ) What's going on here? 1975 01:26:19,880 --> 01:26:21,279 Just hang on a sec. 1976 01:26:23,319 --> 01:26:24,760 G'day, mate. - Hello. 1977 01:26:24,840 --> 01:26:26,439 You're up early. How are you? - Good. 1978 01:26:26,560 --> 01:26:28,520 Didn't expect to see you. 1979 01:26:28,600 --> 01:26:31,279 Just go and sit up on the fork. 1980 01:26:31,359 --> 01:26:32,279 G'day. 1981 01:26:32,359 --> 01:26:34,000 What are you doing here? - I'm a bit early. 1982 01:26:34,039 --> 01:26:37,560 A bit early? You're four days early. I said Saturday. 1983 01:26:37,640 --> 01:26:39,399 This has been organised for a month, Kenny. 1984 01:26:39,520 --> 01:26:41,119 Today is Melbourne Cup. 1985 01:26:41,199 --> 01:26:43,720 You can't leave him...you can't leave him with me today. 1986 01:26:43,800 --> 01:26:45,159 I can't... You wrote it down. 1987 01:26:45,239 --> 01:26:46,800 Didn't you write it down, for God's sake? 1988 01:26:46,880 --> 01:26:48,680 I wrote down 'Saturday'. - You wrote down 'Saturday'? 1989 01:26:48,760 --> 01:26:50,319 WOMAN: You're an arsehole, Kenny. 1990 01:26:50,399 --> 01:26:52,760 Oh, g'day, Julie. How's Bill? 1991 01:26:52,840 --> 01:26:55,000 None of your bloody business. - Fair enough. 1992 01:26:55,039 --> 01:26:56,439 Kenny, you're having him. 1993 01:26:56,560 --> 01:26:58,279 This is unbelievable. 1994 01:26:58,359 --> 01:27:01,399 Wave goodbye to your mother and Julie. 1995 01:27:01,520 --> 01:27:02,920 You right? - Yeah. 1996 01:27:03,000 --> 01:27:04,359 Good to see you, mate. 1997 01:27:04,439 --> 01:27:05,960 I wasn't expecting to see you today. 1998 01:27:09,840 --> 01:27:12,039 Well, as you know, today is, without a doubt, 1999 01:27:12,119 --> 01:27:14,000 the busiest day on our calendar. 2000 01:27:14,079 --> 01:27:17,760 And, unfortunately, this year we're two men down. 2001 01:27:20,840 --> 01:27:23,159 So, we've got 116 units here today, 2002 01:27:23,239 --> 01:27:26,680 and today there's gonna be over 150-odd thousand people 2003 01:27:26,760 --> 01:27:28,119 crammed in here. 2004 01:27:28,199 --> 01:27:31,439 So, today, I'm gonna have to ask for 273% out of youse. 2005 01:27:31,560 --> 01:27:32,960 But we're gonna get flogged today. 2006 01:27:33,000 --> 01:27:34,399 We're gonna be busier than 2007 01:27:34,520 --> 01:27:36,159 a one-armed bricklayer in Baghdad. 2008 01:27:36,239 --> 01:27:38,119 We're gonna have to make sure we all put in. 2009 01:27:54,079 --> 01:27:56,079 There you go. Now you're one of the team. 2010 01:27:58,319 --> 01:28:00,399 Two rolls, mate. Excellent. 2011 01:28:02,520 --> 01:28:03,920 They haven't given us much room 2012 01:28:04,000 --> 01:28:05,039 to turn around, have they? 2013 01:28:05,119 --> 01:28:06,079 No. 2014 01:28:07,159 --> 01:28:09,960 You alright, Jess? Thanks, mate. 2015 01:28:10,000 --> 01:28:11,399 Is he coming up there? 2016 01:28:11,520 --> 01:28:13,359 No, mate, he's going out the back now. 2017 01:28:13,439 --> 01:28:14,920 He's gotta do one more unit. 2018 01:28:25,640 --> 01:28:27,000 We'll call that one done, mate. 2019 01:28:27,079 --> 01:28:28,880 What do you say? It looks alright, doesn't it? 2020 01:28:28,960 --> 01:28:30,319 If you grab that trolley... 2021 01:28:30,399 --> 01:28:34,000 Really and truly, have you got this child here cleaning toilets? 2022 01:28:34,039 --> 01:28:36,039 Oh, no, he's not any kid. That's my son. 2023 01:28:36,119 --> 01:28:38,079 YOUNG WOMAN: What's he doing cleaning toilets? 2024 01:28:38,159 --> 01:28:40,560 This is no place for a child to be around 2025 01:28:40,640 --> 01:28:43,079 the toilets at a public racecourse. 2026 01:28:43,159 --> 01:28:45,159 It's a disgrace. - I'm sorry you feel like that. 2027 01:28:45,239 --> 01:28:47,800 He should not have... What sort of diseases could he get? 2028 01:28:47,880 --> 01:28:50,000 That's disgusting. Sorry you feel that way. 2029 01:28:50,079 --> 01:28:51,800 You should be ashamed of yourself. 2030 01:28:51,880 --> 01:28:53,880 You right, mate? Grab it from the handle, mate. 2031 01:28:58,600 --> 01:29:00,119 But I want to stay with you. 2032 01:29:00,199 --> 01:29:02,359 I know that, mate. I'd love to have you with me. 2033 01:29:02,439 --> 01:29:04,520 But we might get a few less complaints that way. 2034 01:29:04,600 --> 01:29:06,000 I might just get you... 2035 01:29:06,039 --> 01:29:08,359 Look, you'll be right here. Look, prop yourself up here. 2036 01:29:08,439 --> 01:29:10,359 Here's... Open these up. 2037 01:29:10,439 --> 01:29:12,960 And, I don't know, make a little poo ticket castle or something. 2038 01:29:13,000 --> 01:29:15,359 Hayley will give you a pen or something to draw with, right? 2039 01:29:15,439 --> 01:29:17,439 I won't be long, mate. I won't be a tick. 2040 01:29:17,560 --> 01:29:20,039 ( MOBILE PHONE RINGS ) 2041 01:29:21,760 --> 01:29:23,239 Hello? 2042 01:29:23,319 --> 01:29:25,119 Oh, g'day, Dad. What's wrong? 2043 01:29:25,199 --> 01:29:27,000 Well, you don't have to worry about what it's... 2044 01:29:27,039 --> 01:29:28,079 It's not gonna feel like anything. 2045 01:29:28,159 --> 01:29:29,079 You're gonna be asleep. 2046 01:29:29,159 --> 01:29:31,159 I've told you a hundred times, it's a simple op. 2047 01:29:31,239 --> 01:29:33,399 What, do you reckon they get you to handle the instruments? 2048 01:29:33,520 --> 01:29:34,920 You're asleep during the whole thing, Dad. 2049 01:29:35,000 --> 01:29:36,359 What's wrong? 2050 01:29:36,439 --> 01:29:39,960 Well, we've got a ruptured hose at the back of this unit... 2051 01:29:40,000 --> 01:29:40,960 Yeah. 2052 01:29:41,000 --> 01:29:42,800 ..and a lot of piss coming out of it. 2053 01:29:42,880 --> 01:29:44,560 We've got people walking through it. 2054 01:29:44,640 --> 01:29:47,720 Well, just cut the hose beside it so that water's coming out. 2055 01:29:47,800 --> 01:29:49,359 People won't know the difference. 2056 01:29:49,439 --> 01:29:50,880 But these are $100 shoes. 2057 01:29:50,960 --> 01:29:52,960 I nearly fell over and I've ruined my shoes. 2058 01:29:53,000 --> 01:29:54,560 Well, they seem to be alright now, love. 2059 01:29:54,640 --> 01:29:56,920 ( WIND HOWLS, RAIN POURS ) 2060 01:30:00,079 --> 01:30:01,560 This is not good. 2061 01:30:16,000 --> 01:30:17,439 Pump out the poo! 2062 01:30:28,760 --> 01:30:30,119 You're right, Thommo. 2063 01:30:30,199 --> 01:30:32,119 G'day, mate. 2064 01:30:32,199 --> 01:30:33,960 Where's Jesse? 2065 01:30:34,000 --> 01:30:35,680 HAYLEY: He went after you. 2066 01:30:35,760 --> 01:30:37,319 What do you mean he went after me? 2067 01:30:37,399 --> 01:30:38,840 He said he knew where you were. 2068 01:30:38,920 --> 01:30:40,279 He was going to meet you. 2069 01:30:40,359 --> 01:30:41,920 He's what? - Gone to meet you for lunch. 2070 01:30:42,000 --> 01:30:43,680 He hasn't gone looking for me out there? 2071 01:30:43,760 --> 01:30:45,119 Yeah, he went to meet you. 2072 01:30:45,199 --> 01:30:48,680 Hayley, there's 120,000 people. He was supposed to stay here. 2073 01:30:48,760 --> 01:30:51,439 Um... Oh, Jesus! 2074 01:30:51,560 --> 01:30:53,439 Oh, Jesus Christ! 2075 01:30:57,560 --> 01:30:59,920 Yes... Oh... 2076 01:31:00,000 --> 01:31:01,800 Dad, I haven't got time... 2077 01:31:01,880 --> 01:31:03,800 Of course they're gonna come and give you a needle. 2078 01:31:03,880 --> 01:31:05,239 That's how they put you to sleep. 2079 01:31:05,319 --> 01:31:06,920 Did you think they were gonna read you 2080 01:31:07,000 --> 01:31:07,920 a bloody bedtime story? 2081 01:31:08,000 --> 01:31:09,520 Will you shut up and listen to me? 2082 01:31:09,600 --> 01:31:12,199 I have to go. I've lost the little boy. No, I'll explain later. 2083 01:31:14,439 --> 01:31:16,239 He can't be down there. 2084 01:31:16,319 --> 01:31:17,239 This is madness. 2085 01:31:17,319 --> 01:31:19,520 I don't know how I'm gonna find him in all this. 2086 01:31:19,600 --> 01:31:21,520 I mean, look at it. And this joint is enormous. 2087 01:31:21,600 --> 01:31:24,920 And I don't know... There's a... 2088 01:31:32,159 --> 01:31:34,840 He can't have gone in there. He hasn't got a... 2089 01:31:34,920 --> 01:31:37,600 Well, I hope he hasn't gone in there. He hasn't got a pass. 2090 01:31:40,960 --> 01:31:43,319 ( THUD! ) Oh, Jesus Christ! 2091 01:31:43,399 --> 01:31:45,279 Jeez, mate, are you alright? - He's right. Get up. 2092 01:31:45,359 --> 01:31:47,880 Mate, are you alright? - Yeah, he's alright. Don't worry. 2093 01:31:47,960 --> 01:31:48,960 He's alright? - Yeah. 2094 01:31:49,000 --> 01:31:50,399 Are you sure he's alright? - Get up. 2095 01:31:50,520 --> 01:31:52,520 You're embarrassing me. Them girls will be here shortly. 2096 01:31:55,560 --> 01:31:56,520 Oh... 2097 01:31:59,960 --> 01:32:02,119 You haven't seen a kid, have you? A small boy? 2098 01:32:02,199 --> 01:32:04,720 Haven't seen a little boy, have you? A little kid? No? 2099 01:32:04,800 --> 01:32:09,079 Excuse me. Sorry. Excuse me. Oh, God. 2100 01:32:12,640 --> 01:32:14,399 Oh, there he is. There he is, there. 2101 01:32:14,520 --> 01:32:16,520 Where was he? Where did you find him? 2102 01:32:16,600 --> 01:32:18,119 The boys found him down near the toilets. 2103 01:32:18,199 --> 01:32:20,239 Oh, you were down at the toilet? You're a smart boy. 2104 01:32:20,319 --> 01:32:21,760 I didn't even think of looking there. 2105 01:32:21,840 --> 01:32:22,760 I should've known, shouldn't I? 2106 01:32:22,840 --> 01:32:25,000 I've got you back and I won't lose you again, eh? 2107 01:32:25,039 --> 01:32:26,520 JESSE: Mmm. 2108 01:32:27,600 --> 01:32:29,760 I was worried, mate, eh? 2109 01:32:37,239 --> 01:32:39,960 ( LAUGHTER ) 2110 01:32:47,319 --> 01:32:49,239 Stay asleep. You're right. 2111 01:32:54,319 --> 01:32:56,960 ( WOMEN TALK INDISTINCTLY ) 2112 01:33:01,239 --> 01:33:02,840 WOMAN: Oh, my God. 2113 01:33:02,920 --> 01:33:04,720 Oh... 2114 01:33:06,319 --> 01:33:07,760 (Woman cheers) 2115 01:33:07,840 --> 01:33:10,880 It's open! Come on! Come on! 2116 01:33:13,600 --> 01:33:16,560 You know, when people look embarrassed or ashamed 2117 01:33:16,640 --> 01:33:18,000 at what I do, 2118 01:33:18,079 --> 01:33:19,920 I don't try and convince them otherwise. 2119 01:33:20,000 --> 01:33:22,000 I don't try and beautify the job that I do 2120 01:33:22,039 --> 01:33:23,439 or make it sound better. 2121 01:33:23,560 --> 01:33:25,760 I mean, if they've got a problem with what I do 2122 01:33:25,840 --> 01:33:27,199 then it's their problem. 2123 01:33:27,279 --> 01:33:28,840 They've got the problem, not me. 2124 01:33:32,359 --> 01:33:33,880 I was drunk at a party once, 2125 01:33:33,960 --> 01:33:35,319 and I don't normally snap at people, 2126 01:33:35,399 --> 01:33:38,359 but I had a woman say to me when I told her what I did, 2127 01:33:38,439 --> 01:33:39,640 she said, "How disgusting! 2128 01:33:39,720 --> 01:33:41,079 "I don't want to hear about that." 2129 01:33:41,159 --> 01:33:43,319 And I said, "Well, how about you go out in protest 2130 01:33:43,399 --> 01:33:45,840 "and never have a crap again, lady, see how long you last." 2131 01:33:45,920 --> 01:33:49,399 Hey, matey. Don't park. I'm just about to pull out, mate. 2132 01:33:49,520 --> 01:33:51,520 You're not gonna park here, are you? 2133 01:33:51,600 --> 01:33:53,319 I'll just be a minute. 2134 01:33:53,399 --> 01:33:54,920 Just gonna be a minute. 2135 01:33:55,000 --> 01:33:58,000 Well, he would've come out of surgery about an hour ago. 2136 01:33:58,079 --> 01:34:01,239 Yes, Smyth. S-M-Y-T-H. 2137 01:34:06,560 --> 01:34:08,399 Dad? How are you? 2138 01:34:09,680 --> 01:34:11,840 Yeah, how you feeling? 2139 01:34:11,920 --> 01:34:14,680 I don't think I've ever thought about doing another job. 2140 01:34:14,760 --> 01:34:16,199 Plumbing is all I've ever known. 2141 01:34:16,279 --> 01:34:20,079 You know, I'd love to have flown an aeroplane, 2142 01:34:20,159 --> 01:34:23,000 I'd love to... I don't know, write great music, 2143 01:34:23,039 --> 01:34:25,960 but I guess, they're like everyone, they're dreams, 2144 01:34:26,000 --> 01:34:28,560 but I don't think I've ever been envious of anyone else 2145 01:34:28,640 --> 01:34:31,119 'cause this is the life I've got. 2146 01:34:32,239 --> 01:34:34,640 Alright, well, I'll see you in the morning, OK? 2147 01:34:34,720 --> 01:34:36,239 First thing. 2148 01:34:36,319 --> 01:34:38,960 Alright. I love you, Dad. Yep. 2149 01:34:39,000 --> 01:34:41,920 Yeah, I know. Alright, well, I'll see you in the morning. 2150 01:34:42,000 --> 01:34:43,760 OK. 'Bye. 2151 01:34:46,680 --> 01:34:48,039 Hey, mate. 2152 01:34:48,119 --> 01:34:50,000 Do you want to move your car now? 2153 01:34:50,079 --> 01:34:51,880 Yeah, mate, I said I'd move it. It's alright. 2154 01:34:51,960 --> 01:34:54,079 Can we move it now? - No, we can do it later. 2155 01:34:54,159 --> 01:34:55,720 I want to get going home, mate. 2156 01:34:55,800 --> 01:34:58,199 Relax. Alright? Relax. 2157 01:34:58,279 --> 01:35:00,439 I said I wouldn't be long, alright? 2158 01:35:00,560 --> 01:35:02,920 No, well, can you move it now? 2159 01:35:03,000 --> 01:35:04,720 No, don't worry about it. Alright? 2160 01:35:04,800 --> 01:35:06,159 It's alright. I told you. 2161 01:35:06,239 --> 01:35:10,439 I told you I'll be out, alright? Relax, alright? No worries. 2162 01:35:10,560 --> 01:35:12,039 Let it go. 2163 01:35:12,119 --> 01:35:13,760 No, you're absolutely right. 2164 01:35:13,840 --> 01:35:17,079 Sorry, I've had a bit of a bad day. You take your time. 2165 01:35:17,159 --> 01:35:19,239 No worries. 2166 01:35:20,520 --> 01:35:23,239 He's, uh... he's absolutely right. 2167 01:35:23,319 --> 01:35:26,920 Just, uh... relax and let it go. 2168 01:35:27,000 --> 01:35:28,760 Let it go. 2169 01:35:28,840 --> 01:35:31,560 (Cranks pump) 2170 01:35:31,640 --> 01:35:36,159 (Sings) # Australians all let us ring Joyce 2171 01:35:36,239 --> 01:35:40,680 # For she is young and free... # 2172 01:35:48,640 --> 01:35:51,520 Oh... hello. 2173 01:35:53,119 --> 01:35:57,840 Relaxing and, uh... Ietting it go. 2174 01:36:06,279 --> 01:36:08,359 Yeah, no worries. Alright. 2175 01:36:08,439 --> 01:36:11,159 Shall we say 1,500 people? 2176 01:36:11,239 --> 01:36:13,319 Or 1,400? 1,500's fine, yeah. 2177 01:36:13,399 --> 01:36:15,640 And are you serving any food? 2178 01:36:15,720 --> 01:36:18,640 Is there any curries or spicy foods or...? 2179 01:36:18,720 --> 01:36:20,079 Hey, mate, can you... 2180 01:36:20,159 --> 01:36:21,880 Can I call you back in 15 minutes? 2181 01:36:21,960 --> 01:36:23,640 Yeah, that'd be great. Sorry. 2182 01:36:23,720 --> 01:36:25,359 Yeah, thanks. Alright, mate. Thanks. 2183 01:36:29,079 --> 01:36:32,039 ( 'TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS' PLAYS ) 2184 01:37:43,880 --> 01:37:46,079 This is all the latest thing, this. 2185 01:37:46,159 --> 01:37:48,960 I've been told by a few mates whether I've seen these things. 2186 01:37:49,000 --> 01:37:50,800 It's all computerised and everything. 2187 01:37:50,880 --> 01:37:53,439 Abracadabra, have a look at that! 2188 01:37:53,560 --> 01:37:55,319 This is... This is exciting. 2189 01:37:55,399 --> 01:37:56,840 I know this sounds a bit crazy, 2190 01:37:56,920 --> 01:37:58,279 but I've been looking forward to this. 2191 01:37:58,359 --> 01:38:01,640 Have a look at this. That's like a ride at the show. 2192 01:38:01,720 --> 01:38:04,760 You're kidding me. Look at this. 2193 01:38:04,840 --> 01:38:07,720 All the poo tickets come out like a fax machine. 2194 01:38:07,800 --> 01:38:09,079 Look at that. Water. Hand-dryer. 2195 01:38:09,159 --> 01:38:10,520 That's all automated. 2196 01:38:10,600 --> 01:38:12,880 This is fant... I've gotta have a go at this. 2197 01:38:12,960 --> 01:38:17,560 I'll, um... I'll shut the door shut now, so I'll, uh... 2198 01:38:17,640 --> 01:38:19,920 ( MELLOW MUSIC PLAYS ) Music! Gee, you're kidding me. 2199 01:38:20,000 --> 01:38:21,039 Space-age technology. 2200 01:38:21,119 --> 01:38:22,439 It's made its way into everything. 2201 01:38:22,560 --> 01:38:24,399 Good luck, mate. Yep. 2202 01:38:24,520 --> 01:38:26,039 Mention my name, you'll get a good seat. 2203 01:38:26,119 --> 01:38:29,359 There you go. That's the future, eh? 2204 01:38:32,119 --> 01:38:35,319 You know, I've often wondered how different my life would be 2205 01:38:35,399 --> 01:38:37,319 if shit didn't stink. 2206 01:38:37,399 --> 01:38:39,760 You know, if it smelt nice 2207 01:38:39,840 --> 01:38:42,119 Iike flowers or potpourri, you know? 2208 01:38:42,199 --> 01:38:44,000 You know, imagine, then you'd be able to go 2209 01:38:44,079 --> 01:38:45,520 to someone's house 2210 01:38:45,600 --> 01:38:47,840 and say, "I'd like to use your crapper." 2211 01:38:47,920 --> 01:38:50,600 And they'd be like, "Oh, fantastic. 2212 01:38:50,680 --> 01:38:54,560 "Last time you were over here, oooh, sensational! 2213 01:38:54,640 --> 01:38:57,840 "What was that smell, Ken? Lavender?" 2214 01:38:57,920 --> 01:39:00,039 But it's... it's not gonna happen 2215 01:39:00,119 --> 01:39:02,039 'cause it doesn't smell like lavender, 2216 01:39:02,119 --> 01:39:04,279 it smells like shit. 2217 01:39:04,359 --> 01:39:05,960 That's exactly what it smells like. 2218 01:39:06,000 --> 01:39:10,000 And I have a feeling it's always gonna smell like that. 171595

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