All language subtitles for The Bob Newhart Show s02e18 - The Jobless Corps

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,489 --> 00:00:05,959 - [ Rings] - Hello? 2 00:01:12,392 --> 00:01:14,633 Here's your breakfast. 3 00:01:17,597 --> 00:01:19,702 A brownie? 4 00:01:19,766 --> 00:01:22,542 Bob, that's not a brownie. That's a breakfast smidgen. 5 00:01:22,602 --> 00:01:24,275 Do you know that one smidgen... 6 00:01:24,337 --> 00:01:26,544 is the equivalent of a halfa grapefruit... 7 00:01:26,606 --> 00:01:28,586 three buttermilk pancakes with maple syrup... 8 00:01:28,642 --> 00:01:31,248 two eggs over easy, a side of ham and a big glass of milk? 9 00:01:32,646 --> 00:01:35,217 Gee. I really didn't want that much to eat. 10 00:01:36,850 --> 00:01:39,797 All I really wanted was a cup of coffee and some orangejuice. 11 00:01:39,853 --> 00:01:41,662 Why don't you just lickyour fingers? 12 00:01:41,721 --> 00:01:47,228 Emily, the next time you try a breakfast experiment, try it on an astronaut. 13 00:01:47,294 --> 00:01:50,468 Honey, I've gotta get to work, and you said you had to get in early. 14 00:01:50,530 --> 00:01:53,739 Yeah, I do. I have my first session with my- my out-of-work workshop. 15 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:55,143 Out-of-work workshop? 16 00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:57,876 Yeah. A lot of-A lot of my people are out of work... 17 00:01:57,938 --> 00:02:00,111 and I thought I'd bring 'em together as a group... 18 00:02:00,173 --> 00:02:03,177 and they could see how bad off everybody else is. 19 00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:06,157 - [Knocking] - Come in. 20 00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:08,420 Howard} We can't. 21 00:02:08,481 --> 00:02:11,519 We? 22 00:02:11,585 --> 00:02:14,566 - [ Sighs] - Well, come on in, Howard. Bring your friends. 23 00:02:14,621 --> 00:02:17,397 Well, here they are, Emily. Take good care of them while I'm gone. 24 00:02:17,457 --> 00:02:20,700 - They're all I've got. - Okay, Howard. I'll water them every day. 25 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:24,503 Yeah. Distilled water and, uh, plant food. Uh, they like plant food. 26 00:02:24,564 --> 00:02:27,238 Do they like breakfast smidgens? 27 00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:30,838 I don't think so. But they like to be talked to. Be sure you talk to 'em. 28 00:02:30,904 --> 00:02:34,113 Oh, Howard, I just feel funny talking to plants. 29 00:02:34,174 --> 00:02:36,780 You remember what happened last time you didn't talk to 'em? 30 00:02:36,843 --> 00:02:38,823 My rhododendron passed away. 31 00:02:38,879 --> 00:02:42,622 All right. I'll talk to them this time, and we'll take very good care of them. 32 00:02:42,682 --> 00:02:46,323 Well, little fellas. This is it. 33 00:02:46,386 --> 00:02:48,593 Have a nice time here. It's a real nice place. 34 00:02:48,655 --> 00:02:51,135 And, uh, real nice people. I thinkyou'll enjoy it. 35 00:02:51,191 --> 00:02:54,365 And I'll be back in three days. 36 00:02:54,427 --> 00:02:56,429 Unless something happens. 37 00:02:56,496 --> 00:02:58,976 Unless, uh, what happens, Howard? 38 00:02:59,032 --> 00:03:01,808 Uh, excuse me, Bob. 39 00:03:01,868 --> 00:03:03,870 Come here a minute. 40 00:03:05,739 --> 00:03:08,618 Uh, don't tell the plants, uh... 41 00:03:08,675 --> 00:03:11,554 but, uh, there's a navigators strike in the air. 42 00:03:11,611 --> 00:03:13,750 We maywalk. 43 00:03:13,813 --> 00:03:16,020 Well, I hope you land before you walk, Howard. 44 00:03:16,082 --> 00:03:20,258 Oh, Howard, I hope you don't go out on strike. There are enough people out of work. 45 00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:24,268 I was reading this article, and it said with the possible recession and the energy crisis... 46 00:03:24,324 --> 00:03:26,998 in some cities, one out of three people may be out of work. 47 00:03:27,060 --> 00:03:30,200 - One out of three? Wow. - Well, gotta go to work. 48 00:03:30,263 --> 00:03:32,265 Yeah. Me too. 49 00:03:36,069 --> 00:03:38,071 Uh-oh. 50 00:03:42,876 --> 00:03:45,413 - Hi, Dr. Hartley. - Oh, hi, Mr. Herd. Hi, everybody. 51 00:03:45,478 --> 00:03:48,516 - Go right in. I'll be with you in a minute. - Hi, Doctor. 52 00:03:48,581 --> 00:03:51,221 What's going on, Bob? I've never seen that group before. 53 00:03:51,284 --> 00:03:53,560 That's because they've never been a group beforejerry. 54 00:03:53,620 --> 00:03:57,363 They're, uh- They're all unemployed, and I'm starting an out-of-work workshop. 55 00:03:57,424 --> 00:03:59,961 What are you charging 'em? 56 00:04:00,026 --> 00:04:04,099 Haven't really thought about it. They're all, uh- They're all broke right now. 57 00:04:04,164 --> 00:04:07,839 Well, let's see. As long as they're coming to you, they can't afford to pay you. 58 00:04:07,901 --> 00:04:11,041 And when they can afford to pay you, they won't need you anymore. 59 00:04:11,104 --> 00:04:14,415 If you're really successful in this, Bob, you may be in that workshop yourself. 60 00:04:17,510 --> 00:04:20,389 Hi, Carol. Hi, Dr. Hartley. Sorry I'm late. 61 00:04:20,447 --> 00:04:23,155 Hi, Mr. Carlin. What, uh- What are you doing here? 62 00:04:23,216 --> 00:04:25,560 I changed your session to Thursday at 10:00. 63 00:04:25,618 --> 00:04:28,599 I left a message on the answering service. Didn't they tell you? 64 00:04:28,655 --> 00:04:31,829 They told me, but they always get everything wrong, sol didn't believe it. 65 00:04:32,959 --> 00:04:35,439 But they were right this time, Elliot. 66 00:04:35,495 --> 00:04:38,305 - Uh-oh. - What's, uh- What's wrong? 67 00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:40,367 Maybe my shirts are ready. 68 00:04:44,838 --> 00:04:47,785 Uh, Mr. Carlin, I have a- a new group meeting in there. 69 00:04:47,841 --> 00:04:50,082 Oh, a new group? I'll try it. I'll try anything. 70 00:04:50,143 --> 00:04:54,523 Uh, Mr. Carlin, I don't, uh- I don't thinkyou'd-you'd fit in. 71 00:04:54,581 --> 00:04:57,619 - Oh, I understand. Yeah. - No, it isn't that. 72 00:04:57,684 --> 00:05:00,995 It's just that, uh, they're all unemployed, and you've got a pretty good job... 73 00:05:01,054 --> 00:05:03,432 and they're kind of depressed and despondent, you know. 74 00:05:03,490 --> 00:05:05,527 Sounds like fun. I'll sit in. 75 00:05:07,327 --> 00:05:09,329 As long as you're here. 76 00:05:10,897 --> 00:05:13,639 Oh, I-l guess you, uh- you all know each other. 77 00:05:13,700 --> 00:05:16,146 Yeah. We all know each other from the unemployment line. 78 00:05:16,202 --> 00:05:19,945 Except we don't know him. 79 00:05:20,006 --> 00:05:22,850 Well, uh, Mr, Carlin, you want to- want to introduce yourself? 80 00:05:22,909 --> 00:05:24,911 Oh, fine. Yeah. 81 00:05:24,978 --> 00:05:27,720 I'm Elliot Carlin, and I'm a real estate tycoon. 82 00:05:30,583 --> 00:05:33,257 - You mean you're currently employed? - That's right. 83 00:05:33,319 --> 00:05:35,299 Then what are you doing here? 84 00:05:35,355 --> 00:05:37,699 I'm having a lot of trouble with my girlfriend. 85 00:05:37,757 --> 00:05:41,000 Uh, you see, Mr. Carlirfs been out of work before... 86 00:05:41,061 --> 00:05:43,905 and I thought we might benefit from his experience... 87 00:05:43,963 --> 00:05:46,034 if, uh,you all go along with that. 88 00:05:46,099 --> 00:05:49,842 It's fine with me, as long as he doesn't flaunt hisjob in our faces. 89 00:05:49,903 --> 00:05:52,213 - Okay. - All right. Fine. Let's get started. 90 00:05:52,272 --> 00:05:55,185 Now, uh, how's the- thejob hunting coming? 91 00:05:55,241 --> 00:05:58,552 I just got through with an interview, and I didn't get thejob. 92 00:05:58,611 --> 00:06:01,649 - You went to an interview looking like that? - Of course. 93 00:06:01,714 --> 00:06:04,752 I'm a hairdresser, and this is my demo. 94 00:06:06,486 --> 00:06:09,433 Very, uh- Very professional, Shirley. 95 00:06:10,657 --> 00:06:12,603 Mr. Vickers, how's everything going with you? 96 00:06:12,659 --> 00:06:15,105 Lousy. 97 00:06:15,161 --> 00:06:18,506 Nobody has any use for you when you're 65. 98 00:06:18,565 --> 00:06:20,670 I was with the same company 4O years. 99 00:06:20,733 --> 00:06:25,045 - What company was that, Vickers? - Vickers and Sons, Incorporated. 100 00:06:30,043 --> 00:06:32,455 Now it's just Sons, Incorporated. 101 00:06:34,547 --> 00:06:36,823 The minute I turned 65... 102 00:06:36,883 --> 00:06:38,920 my son called me into the office and said... 103 00:06:38,985 --> 00:06:41,795 “Happy birthday, Dad. You're finished.“ 104 00:06:41,855 --> 00:06:44,699 Well, at least they told you to your face. 105 00:06:44,757 --> 00:06:47,033 Why don't you go along with that, Mr. Plager? 106 00:06:47,093 --> 00:06:50,267 Well, all I get are form letters and rejection slips. 107 00:06:50,330 --> 00:06:54,005 I'll tell you. It's not as easy as it looks to be a television writer. 108 00:06:54,067 --> 00:06:56,013 What kind of stuff you write, Plager? 109 00:06:56,069 --> 00:07:00,017 Well, you know how the networks are always talking about fresh, new concepts. 110 00:07:00,073 --> 00:07:02,713 Uh, I just spent three months developing... 111 00:07:02,775 --> 00:07:05,221 an offbeat musical variety show, and they turned it down. 112 00:07:05,278 --> 00:07:07,224 I told you about that, Dr. Hartley. 113 00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:09,658 Yeah. I always felt it maybe was a little risky... 114 00:07:09,716 --> 00:07:14,461 to have a comedy show called the, uh- The Nazi Hour. 115 00:07:15,889 --> 00:07:18,495 Not if you don't use helmets. 116 00:07:22,328 --> 00:07:25,104 Well- Well, at least all of you have had a career. 117 00:07:25,165 --> 00:07:27,145 You've had a lot of careers, Mr. Herd. 118 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:29,339 Yeah, but none that have lasted. 119 00:07:29,402 --> 00:07:32,008 I guess it's because I've always been heavy, you know. 120 00:07:32,071 --> 00:07:35,177 And all I ever wanted to do were thin things. 121 00:07:35,241 --> 00:07:38,518 - Like what, Herd? - Well, I loved horses... 122 00:07:38,578 --> 00:07:40,580 sol tried to be ajockey. 123 00:07:41,714 --> 00:07:43,694 That didn't work out. 124 00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:45,957 So I joined a rodeo. You know, bronc busting. 125 00:07:46,019 --> 00:07:49,091 Well, I busted one up pretty good, so they asked me to leave. 126 00:07:51,324 --> 00:07:54,396 Well, at least you're trying new things. Um... 127 00:07:54,460 --> 00:07:56,963 I think the group might be interested to know that, uh- 128 00:07:57,030 --> 00:07:59,101 that Mr. Herd is selling brushes door-to-door. 129 00:07:59,165 --> 00:08:01,645 Vacuum cleaners. Brushes didn't work out. 130 00:08:01,701 --> 00:08:04,773 - How many have you sold? - None. 131 00:08:04,837 --> 00:08:07,374 I guess my sales pitch isn't strong enough or something. 132 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:11,149 Well, why don't you, uh- you try your sales pitch on us? Maybe we can help. 133 00:08:11,211 --> 00:08:14,488 -I dunno. - Yeah. Go ahead. Try it on me. I'm a pushover. 134 00:08:14,547 --> 00:08:17,323 - In this room here, in front of all these people? - Yeah. 135 00:08:17,383 --> 00:08:21,058 Well, we- we very often simulate actual working conditions. 136 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:23,122 Why don't you go outside the door and, uh... 137 00:08:23,189 --> 00:08:25,965 Shirley will be the housewife with her hair in curlers. 138 00:08:26,025 --> 00:08:28,027 Okay. 139 00:08:29,662 --> 00:08:31,972 I've seen this in group before. It really works. 140 00:08:35,768 --> 00:08:38,248 You, uh- You can knock, Mr. Herd! 141 00:08:38,304 --> 00:08:41,308 ' [Knot k Wews] 142 00:08:41,374 --> 00:08:45,652 Hello. My name is Ed Herd, and I represent the Suction King Vacuum Cleaner Company. 143 00:08:45,712 --> 00:08:47,692 I know you already have a vacuum cleaner... 144 00:08:47,747 --> 00:08:51,695 but you don't have anything like this one, because this is the finest vacuum cleaner ever made. 145 00:08:51,751 --> 00:08:54,755 All I want to do is come into your home and demonstrate it for you. 146 00:08:54,821 --> 00:08:57,597 - Gee, I don't think so. - Oh, okay. 147 00:09:00,460 --> 00:09:04,431 - Mr. Herd! - Dr. Hartley, he's getting on the elevator. 148 00:09:04,497 --> 00:09:07,239 Mr. Herd, you don't have to simulate leaving. 149 00:09:09,402 --> 00:09:11,609 And sometimes it doesn't work at all. 150 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:16,042 [Whistling] 151 00:09:23,883 --> 00:09:25,885 All right, you guys- 152 00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:30,863 Now, I want you to know I-l really-l really feel stupid doing this... 153 00:09:30,923 --> 00:09:34,928 but if I don't talk to you, Howard is gonna blame me for this, and it's not my fault. 154 00:09:34,994 --> 00:09:39,704 Now, I fed you, I watered you, and I gave you a place to stay while Howard is gone. 155 00:09:39,766 --> 00:09:41,712 Now, he's coming back. You know that. 156 00:09:41,768 --> 00:09:44,044 He's a navigator. You knew that when you signed on. 157 00:09:44,103 --> 00:09:46,947 So just stop looking so droopy and melodramatic. 158 00:09:47,940 --> 00:09:49,942 Hi, honey. 159 00:09:57,984 --> 00:10:00,726 Bob. What are you doing with a vacuum cleaner? 160 00:10:00,787 --> 00:10:04,929 - L, uh-l bought it from Mr. Herd. - Why? 161 00:10:04,991 --> 00:10:08,666 Well, it was his first sale, and I thought it'd, you know, build his confidence. 162 00:10:08,728 --> 00:10:11,334 I guess we can give the one we have to your mother. 163 00:10:11,397 --> 00:10:14,844 I have one for my mother in the car. 164 00:10:14,901 --> 00:10:16,903 That was his second sale. 165 00:10:16,969 --> 00:10:20,314 Uh-huh. I'm glad he wasn't selling mobile homes. 166 00:10:20,373 --> 00:10:22,751 This is really a terrific vacuum cleaner. 167 00:10:22,809 --> 00:10:25,289 Well, honey, we have a terrific vacuum cleaner. 168 00:10:25,345 --> 00:10:29,191 Yeah, but we don't have one that'll suck the skin right out of the sofa. 169 00:10:29,248 --> 00:10:31,990 - What? - No, it's true, Emily. 170 00:10:32,051 --> 00:10:34,793 Uh, every seven years, the human body sheds a layer of skin. 171 00:10:34,854 --> 00:10:37,357 Bob, that is disgusting. 172 00:10:38,458 --> 00:10:40,529 Not really. Mr. Herd explained to me... 173 00:10:40,593 --> 00:10:42,800 how all the residual dirt and hair and skin... 174 00:10:42,862 --> 00:10:45,468 can be pulled right out of that sofa by this machine. 175 00:10:45,531 --> 00:10:49,638 - What are we having for dinner? - Well, I certainly don't feel like talking about food now. 176 00:10:49,702 --> 00:10:52,308 - [Knocking] - Hi, Bob. Hi, Emily. 177 00:10:52,372 --> 00:10:56,343 What are you doing here? You should be at one of those exotic cities you're always going to. 178 00:10:56,409 --> 00:10:59,515 Oh, well, the strike hit in Milwaukee, if you call that exotic. 179 00:10:59,579 --> 00:11:02,082 I was on the bus for, uh, nine hours. 180 00:11:03,616 --> 00:11:07,393 What is this? You only had 'em for one day. 181 00:11:07,453 --> 00:11:10,195 Oh, Howard, I'm really sorry. 182 00:11:10,256 --> 00:11:13,362 I could probably destroy the Everglades if I had 'em for a week. 183 00:11:13,426 --> 00:11:17,203 Well, that's okay. I'm gonna be able to spend some more time with them now anyway. 184 00:11:17,263 --> 00:11:19,903 You don't seem very upset for somebody who's on strike. 185 00:11:19,966 --> 00:11:23,846 It's not gonna be a long strike. I mean, we hold all the cards. 186 00:11:23,903 --> 00:11:26,042 Can't fly a plane without a navigator. 187 00:11:26,105 --> 00:11:28,779 We haven't had- We haven't had a raise in three years... 188 00:11:28,841 --> 00:11:31,117 and our fringe benefits are way below average. 189 00:11:31,177 --> 00:11:33,248 I mean, management is running scared. 190 00:11:33,312 --> 00:11:37,089 - How do you know they're running scared? - They said if we went on strike... 191 00:11:37,150 --> 00:11:39,426 they'd replace us with computers. 192 00:11:39,485 --> 00:11:41,761 I mean, you gotta be scared to say that. 193 00:11:43,055 --> 00:11:45,160 Don't you? 194 00:11:46,592 --> 00:11:48,538 Oh, Howard, I almost forgot. 195 00:11:48,594 --> 00:11:50,631 You got this telegram about an hour ago. 196 00:11:50,696 --> 00:11:52,642 Oh, great. The strike's over. 197 00:11:52,698 --> 00:11:56,407 - They probably want me to come back to work tomorrow morning. - Oh, congratulations. 198 00:11:56,469 --> 00:12:00,246 - Congratulations, Howard. - Yeah, Howard, you just won the shortest strike on record. 199 00:12:02,108 --> 00:12:03,246 Howard? 200 00:12:05,077 --> 00:12:07,216 Howard? 201 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:11,456 Emily, I have the feeling he's not as happy as we are to hear the strike is over. 202 00:12:11,517 --> 00:12:15,590 Is, uh, something wrong, Howard? 203 00:12:21,794 --> 00:12:23,740 “Dear Ex-navigator... 204 00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:29,302 “Services no longer required. 205 00:12:29,368 --> 00:12:32,315 “You've been replaced by a computer. 206 00:12:32,371 --> 00:12:34,817 “Severance check will be mailed. 207 00:12:34,874 --> 00:12:38,788 “Ask about our special rates to Hawaii andjapan. 208 00:12:41,547 --> 00:12:44,050 Fly us.”. 209 00:12:52,758 --> 00:12:54,829 - Hi, honey. - Oh, good morning, sweetheart. 210 00:12:54,894 --> 00:12:58,205 - I wondered where you were. - Yeah, I got up early and, uh... 211 00:12:58,264 --> 00:13:00,642 I didn't want to bother you, sol started jogging. 212 00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:03,271 - How far did you jog? - To the lobby. 213 00:13:05,238 --> 00:13:08,344 It looked like rain, sol did three laps around the security guard... 214 00:13:08,407 --> 00:13:10,353 and then I came up here. 215 00:13:10,409 --> 00:13:12,787 I feel great. I think I'll get back in bed. 216 00:13:12,845 --> 00:13:16,349 Oh, honey, I wish I couldjoin you, but Howard'll be here any minute. 217 00:13:16,415 --> 00:13:19,726 - Again? - Yeah, Bob. You know, I don't know what to do with him. 218 00:13:19,785 --> 00:13:21,787 I mean, he hangs around here all day. 219 00:13:21,854 --> 00:13:24,630 He's got all that time and nothing to do with it. 220 00:13:24,690 --> 00:13:28,866 Do you know he offered to clean, dust and wax our floors? I don't know what to tell him. 221 00:13:28,928 --> 00:13:32,432 Tell him not to forget to do under the refrigerator. 222 00:13:32,498 --> 00:13:36,469 Oh, Bob, it's not funny. It's like he's a servant or something. 223 00:13:36,536 --> 00:13:38,538 [Knocking] 224 00:13:43,442 --> 00:13:45,945 Well, uh, where do you want me to start? 225 00:13:46,012 --> 00:13:50,518 Howard, why don't you start with a nice, big breakfast? Would you like a bowl of oatmeal? 226 00:13:50,583 --> 00:13:53,086 Well, I might as well. You are what you eat. 227 00:13:55,488 --> 00:13:58,367 - Guess I better change my clothes and get down to, uh- - Work? 228 00:13:58,424 --> 00:14:01,462 - That's, uh- That's right, Howard. - Must be a nice feeling. 229 00:14:03,195 --> 00:14:05,197 I used to work. 230 00:14:06,465 --> 00:14:08,741 I used to be the wings of man. 231 00:14:10,436 --> 00:14:13,007 Howard, sit down. 232 00:14:13,072 --> 00:14:15,882 Howard, you know, when, uh- when I was in high school... 233 00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:18,548 I played drums in the marching band, and then, uh... 234 00:14:18,611 --> 00:14:24,186 when I was stationed in Korea I was with the 193rd Combat, uh, Support Orchestra. 235 00:14:24,250 --> 00:14:28,255 They said I had the- the best wrists south of the 38th parallel. 236 00:14:28,321 --> 00:14:31,268 So, when I got out of the service, I didn't even go to college. 237 00:14:31,324 --> 00:14:35,033 I went right to New York, and I auditioned for the Buddy Rich orchestra. 238 00:14:35,094 --> 00:14:37,404 And I-l really thought I did great, you know. 239 00:14:37,463 --> 00:14:39,943 After the audition, Buddy came over, and he said... 240 00:14:39,999 --> 00:14:43,105 “You stink, man.“ 241 00:14:43,169 --> 00:14:46,810 And I-l was crushed, you know? I-l knew it was all over. 242 00:14:46,872 --> 00:14:48,909 But, I mean, if that hadn't happened, I, uh- 243 00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:52,548 I wouldn't have gone to college, and I wouldn't have become a psychologist, and I- 244 00:14:52,612 --> 00:14:57,960 I wouldn't have met Emily, and I wouldn't be half as happy as I am right now. 245 00:14:58,017 --> 00:15:00,054 You understand what I'm trying to say, Howard? 246 00:15:01,420 --> 00:15:03,593 Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't listening. 247 00:15:07,026 --> 00:15:10,200 You know, Howard, I've been thinking about it for a while, and, uh- 248 00:15:10,262 --> 00:15:13,471 Well, I didn't know whether you were ready for it or not, but I- 249 00:15:13,532 --> 00:15:15,512 I thinkyou are. Uh... 250 00:15:15,568 --> 00:15:17,570 I have a group down at the office- 251 00:15:17,637 --> 00:15:19,583 an out-of-work workshop- and I- 252 00:15:19,639 --> 00:15:21,585 I think we might be able to helpyou. 253 00:15:21,641 --> 00:15:24,144 It'd only take about an hour of your time. 254 00:15:24,210 --> 00:15:28,750 Okay, Bob. I'll go to the office with you, but I just want to tell you one thing. 255 00:15:28,814 --> 00:15:31,920 - What's that, Howard? - I don't do windows. 256 00:15:39,925 --> 00:15:43,930 - How long does it take to get through dental school? - Six years. Six tough years. 257 00:15:43,996 --> 00:15:45,942 Excuse me. 258 00:15:45,998 --> 00:15:48,569 - Am I in yourway? - Well, I have something to do. 259 00:15:48,634 --> 00:15:50,773 - What? - I have to get over there. 260 00:15:50,836 --> 00:15:53,749 - Oh, I'm sorry. - What's the matter with you, Howard? 261 00:15:53,806 --> 00:15:56,480 I'm out of work. Did I mention that I'm out of work? 262 00:15:56,542 --> 00:15:59,853 Yes. Yes, you did. Several times. But why are you sojumpy? 263 00:15:59,912 --> 00:16:01,858 Well, I've never been in analysis before... 264 00:16:01,914 --> 00:16:04,360 and in a few minutes I'm going tojoin Bob's workshop. 265 00:16:04,417 --> 00:16:08,092 - That's not exactly analysis. - Look,jerry. You're a friend of Bob's. 266 00:16:08,154 --> 00:16:11,966 Look. When they're in the, uh- When they close the doors, what- what goes on there? 267 00:16:12,024 --> 00:16:13,970 Is there any screaming? 268 00:16:14,026 --> 00:16:17,701 If there is I don't hear it. There's always so much screaming in here. 269 00:16:17,763 --> 00:16:19,709 Come on. I mean, really,jer. 270 00:16:19,765 --> 00:16:24,510 Well, oh, all they do, I think, is they, uh, sit there, and you talk about yourself. 271 00:16:24,570 --> 00:16:27,107 Yeah, well, I'm too depressed to talk. I'm out of work. 272 00:16:27,173 --> 00:16:29,710 - Did I mention that I was out of work? - Yes, yes, yes. 273 00:16:29,775 --> 00:16:31,880 Just cheer up, will ya? Look. Here. 274 00:16:31,944 --> 00:16:33,890 Have a balloon. 275 00:16:33,946 --> 00:16:37,985 Oh, Howard, uh, Bob's group is here, and they're ready for you. 276 00:16:42,455 --> 00:16:44,526 WelLJer, this is it. Uh... 277 00:16:44,590 --> 00:16:47,537 I just, uh, wanted to tell you that, uh- 278 00:16:47,593 --> 00:16:50,403 Well, I appreciate you giving me the balloon. 279 00:16:50,463 --> 00:16:53,205 - Okay, Howard. - Well, lead the way. 280 00:16:53,265 --> 00:16:55,836 Follow me, my son. Ow. 281 00:16:58,738 --> 00:17:01,218 Bob, Howard. 282 00:17:01,273 --> 00:17:03,810 Oh, hi, Howard. Howard, this is, uh- this is the group. 283 00:17:03,876 --> 00:17:05,822 Group, this is Howard Borden. 284 00:17:05,878 --> 00:17:09,382 He's a neighbor of mine, a very good friend of mine, and he's gonna join us today. 285 00:17:09,448 --> 00:17:10,825 - Hi. - Welcome, Howard. 286 00:17:10,883 --> 00:17:14,729 - How you doin', Borden? - Oh, not too good. I lost my job. 287 00:17:14,787 --> 00:17:16,789 Wonderful. Have a seat. 288 00:17:18,257 --> 00:17:20,464 Uh, before you get started... 289 00:17:20,526 --> 00:17:22,506 would anybody like a cup of coffee? 290 00:17:22,561 --> 00:17:25,405 - Black, with sugar. - I'll have a halfa cup of coffee with cream. 291 00:17:25,464 --> 00:17:27,068 - Double cream, double sugar. - Hot tea. 292 00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:29,204 - Do you have any chicken soup? - Mr. Carlin? 293 00:17:29,268 --> 00:17:32,772 Nothing for me, thanks. I just had a huge, expensive meal. 294 00:17:32,838 --> 00:17:34,511 - Bob? - No. No, thanks. 295 00:17:34,573 --> 00:17:38,020 - Ah. - On second thought, I'll have my usual with half the cream. 296 00:17:38,077 --> 00:17:41,115 - I'm on a diet. - I'll have his cream. I'm not on a diet. 297 00:17:41,180 --> 00:17:43,023 Could you just put a little milk in my tea? 298 00:17:43,082 --> 00:17:46,188 - On second thought, I will have a hot chocolate. - Hey! You got hot chocolate? 299 00:17:46,252 --> 00:17:48,858 - Yeah. - I'll have that, but I'll still take sugar and cream in it. 300 00:17:48,921 --> 00:17:51,561 [Mouths Words] 301 00:17:51,624 --> 00:17:54,764 Wow. That was hard. Boy, I bet she doesn't get that right. 302 00:17:55,828 --> 00:17:57,808 Bet? How much? 303 00:17:59,031 --> 00:18:01,068 W“, SD cams'.! 304 00:18:01,133 --> 00:18:03,079 Adollar? 305 00:18:03,135 --> 00:18:05,115 How about five dollars? 306 00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:07,208 Wow. I don't know. I'm out of work and- 307 00:18:07,273 --> 00:18:10,652 I know she's gonna get it wrong, and I could use the money. Okay, five dollars. 308 00:18:10,709 --> 00:18:13,815 - You're on. - Well, ifall the bets are down now... 309 00:18:13,879 --> 00:18:15,859 I guess we can go on. 310 00:18:15,915 --> 00:18:20,455 [Clears Throat] Since, uh, Mr. Borden has never been to our group before... 311 00:18:20,519 --> 00:18:23,898 why don't we fill him in on some of the progress we've made this week? 312 00:18:23,956 --> 00:18:27,426 Well, my company bought a bank and repossessed three farms. 313 00:18:29,628 --> 00:18:34,099 Mr. Carlin, I meant some of the members who are maybe less employed than you are. 314 00:18:34,166 --> 00:18:37,443 Oh, that's right. I wasn't supposed to do that, was I? 315 00:18:37,503 --> 00:18:39,505 But we did. 316 00:18:40,673 --> 00:18:42,675 Uh, Mr. Vickers, you want to work first? 317 00:18:42,741 --> 00:18:46,120 Well, I took my oldest son out to dinner... 318 00:18:46,178 --> 00:18:48,419 and I asked him if I could come back to work. 319 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,484 - What did he say? - Well, he was very nice about it. 320 00:18:51,550 --> 00:18:55,589 And he said, “Sorry, Dad. You know the rules. You made 'em.“ 321 00:18:57,456 --> 00:19:02,098 Then he said if I ever brought it up again, he'd never let me see my grandchildren. 322 00:19:04,563 --> 00:19:06,839 Oh, boy. can I relate to that. 323 00:19:06,899 --> 00:19:09,607 It reminds me of a lot of guys I've worked for. 324 00:19:09,668 --> 00:19:11,648 They use you, and then they throw you away. 325 00:19:11,704 --> 00:19:14,514 Shirley, why- why don't you tell us about your week? 326 00:19:14,573 --> 00:19:16,610 There's nothing to talk about. 327 00:19:16,675 --> 00:19:19,986 I spent all week walking the streets again with no results. 328 00:19:22,214 --> 00:19:24,216 You shouldn't have any trouble in this town. 329 00:19:24,283 --> 00:19:26,661 This is the convention center of the world. 330 00:19:29,088 --> 00:19:31,398 What do you mean by that? 331 00:19:31,457 --> 00:19:33,494 Uh, Shirley is a hairdresser, Howard. 332 00:19:33,559 --> 00:19:36,199 Oh, that's- that's good too. That's good. 333 00:19:37,930 --> 00:19:40,410 Well, I didn't have a bad week. 334 00:19:40,466 --> 00:19:44,710 I think one of the networks is interested in an idea I have for a new TV series. 335 00:19:44,770 --> 00:19:46,943 Is this another one of those... 336 00:19:47,006 --> 00:19:48,986 Third Reich-type shows? 337 00:19:49,041 --> 00:19:51,487 No. This one takes place in Rome. 338 00:19:51,543 --> 00:19:55,582 It's a situation comedy. It's called Dam That Pope. 339 00:19:56,815 --> 00:19:58,692 Think it has a chance? 340 00:19:58,751 --> 00:20:01,561 Well, the main thing is you're- you're in there pitching. Uh- 341 00:20:01,620 --> 00:20:04,863 How about you, Mr. Herd? You having any luck with the vacuum cleaners? 342 00:20:04,924 --> 00:20:08,030 - Encyclopedias. - You- You switched? 343 00:20:08,093 --> 00:20:10,471 Yeah. I only sold two vacuums. 344 00:20:11,597 --> 00:20:13,873 You know, to you and your mom. 345 00:20:13,933 --> 00:20:16,038 So they took away my territory. 346 00:20:16,101 --> 00:20:18,240 Well,you got into something else real quick. 347 00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:21,774 Yeah, I had to. I gotta eat. 348 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:25,413 Excuse me, Mr. Borden. Are you here to watch, or are you going to work? 349 00:20:25,477 --> 00:20:27,923 How can I work? I don't have a job. 350 00:20:27,980 --> 00:20:30,790 No, Howard. When we say “work“ we mean talk. 351 00:20:30,849 --> 00:20:34,126 Okay. Uh, all right. What do you want to talk about? 352 00:20:34,186 --> 00:20:36,097 Well, we- we talk about work. 353 00:20:36,155 --> 00:20:39,364 There isn't anything to talk about because I don't have any work. 354 00:20:39,425 --> 00:20:41,564 Come on, Borden. Spill it. 355 00:20:43,963 --> 00:20:47,604 Well, what can I say?I mean, uh, I had ajobjust like anybody else. 356 00:20:47,666 --> 00:20:50,977 - Only mine was up there. - Oh, what were you? A minister? 357 00:20:53,939 --> 00:20:56,215 No. I was a navigator on ajumbojetliner. 358 00:20:56,275 --> 00:21:01,247 - No kidding. How long were you with them? - Nine dedicated years. 359 00:21:01,313 --> 00:21:05,090 Boy, I really flew my heart out for those guys, and where did it get me? 360 00:21:05,150 --> 00:21:07,630 I mean, replaced by a computer. 361 00:21:07,686 --> 00:21:09,632 Oh, we've all been replaced. 362 00:21:09,688 --> 00:21:12,760 So don't you come in here with a long face feeling sorry for yourself. 363 00:21:12,825 --> 00:21:14,771 At least you're out of a terrificjob. 364 00:21:14,827 --> 00:21:17,103 You've flown to the four corners of the Earth. 365 00:21:17,162 --> 00:21:19,870 That's right. You've seen the world. You've soared like an eagle. 366 00:21:19,932 --> 00:21:22,412 You've had a- a life of excitement and challenge. 367 00:21:22,468 --> 00:21:24,880 I think there's a series in this. 368 00:21:26,271 --> 00:21:29,445 Cockpit Capers. 369 00:21:29,508 --> 00:21:31,954 Howard, I think what the group is trying to say is- 370 00:21:32,011 --> 00:21:34,013 I know what they're trying to say. 371 00:21:34,079 --> 00:21:36,184 They're trying to say they don't like me. 372 00:21:36,248 --> 00:21:38,694 Aw, we like you fine. 373 00:21:38,751 --> 00:21:40,958 It's Carlin we don't like. 374 00:21:44,590 --> 00:21:47,127 Oh, yeah? You don't like me? Welcome to the club. 375 00:21:48,260 --> 00:21:50,934 Every girl I ever knew broke my heart. 376 00:21:50,996 --> 00:21:53,203 Every friend I ever had deserted me. 377 00:21:53,265 --> 00:21:56,371 Every dog I ever owned ran away from me. 378 00:21:56,435 --> 00:21:59,609 You know, Elliot, all of a sudden... 379 00:21:59,671 --> 00:22:01,673 I likeyou. 380 00:22:01,740 --> 00:22:04,311 - Really? - Yeah. 381 00:22:04,376 --> 00:22:07,357 When you opened upjust then, there was another side to you... 382 00:22:07,413 --> 00:22:10,883 that was warm and honest and vulnerable. 383 00:22:10,949 --> 00:22:13,657 I'd, uh, really like to get to know you better. 384 00:22:13,719 --> 00:22:16,495 You're gonna break my heart, aren't ya? 385 00:22:18,290 --> 00:22:20,531 Wow. That was really nice. 386 00:22:20,592 --> 00:22:24,062 I'm glad you feel that way, Howard. That's sort of what we do here in group. 387 00:22:24,129 --> 00:22:26,973 You know, we relate to each other, we bolster each other. 388 00:22:27,032 --> 00:22:30,013 I mean, there's a lot more to life than- than being employed. 389 00:22:30,069 --> 00:22:32,242 You've- You've got a lot to be thankful for. 390 00:22:32,304 --> 00:22:35,342 - Like what? - Well, you-you have a fine son. 391 00:22:35,407 --> 00:22:38,513 Oh,yeah. Howie. Yeah, he's a good boy. 392 00:22:38,577 --> 00:22:40,250 - How old is he? - Ten. 393 00:22:40,312 --> 00:22:43,054 Wait till he grows up. He'll turn on you. 394 00:22:48,487 --> 00:22:50,524 You have- You have good friends, Howard. 395 00:22:50,589 --> 00:22:52,535 Yeah. I guess you're right, Bob. I mean... 396 00:22:52,591 --> 00:22:54,935 you're a good friend, and Emily's a good friend, and... 397 00:22:54,993 --> 00:22:58,167 I think everybody here's a good friend, even though I don't know your names. 398 00:22:58,230 --> 00:23:01,336 You know, I'm very glad about what's happening here, Howard. 399 00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,710 You, uh- You got a lot going for you. 400 00:23:03,769 --> 00:23:06,375 Yeah. I thinkyou're right. Things are bound to get better. 401 00:23:06,438 --> 00:23:10,011 Okay. Black with sugar. Halfa cup with cream. 402 00:23:10,075 --> 00:23:12,885 Hot tea with milk. Your chicken soup. 403 00:23:12,945 --> 00:23:17,553 The usual with half the cream. Hot chocolate and hot chocolate with cream and sugar. 404 00:23:20,419 --> 00:23:23,593 You owe me five bucks, Borden. Cough it up. 405 00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:30,401 - They look great, don't they? - Yeah. 406 00:23:30,462 --> 00:23:33,773 So does the set we already have in the den. 407 00:23:33,832 --> 00:23:35,903 Yeah, but you can never have too much knowledge. 408 00:23:35,968 --> 00:23:38,448 If we didn't have these and I wanted to look something up... 409 00:23:38,504 --> 00:23:40,711 I'd have to trudge all the way to the den. 410 00:23:40,772 --> 00:23:43,685 Well, I could pack you a lunch. 411 00:23:43,742 --> 00:23:46,052 - [Knocking] - Come in. 412 00:23:47,112 --> 00:23:50,059 Ta-da. What do you think, huh? 413 00:23:50,115 --> 00:23:51,958 You, uh- You join the navy, Howard? 414 00:23:52,017 --> 00:23:55,555 No. I joined a new airline. A better one. One that still uses navigators. 415 00:23:55,621 --> 00:23:58,192 - Oh, yeah? What's it called? - Ed's. 416 00:24:02,961 --> 00:24:05,703 - Ed's Airline? - Yeah. E-D-S. 417 00:24:05,764 --> 00:24:07,766 Uh, European Delivery Service. 418 00:24:07,833 --> 00:24:11,076 I don't think I've ever ridden on that one, Howard. 419 00:24:11,136 --> 00:24:14,879 Well, you would've had to have been in a crate. It's, uh, for cargo. 420 00:24:14,940 --> 00:24:18,581 You know, foryears I was in London and Paris and Madrid and Acapulco... 421 00:24:18,644 --> 00:24:22,182 but this has opened up a whole new world for me, you know. 422 00:24:22,247 --> 00:24:25,956 I better get going. I've, uh, gotta get to, uh, Craigloggen. 423 00:24:28,921 --> 00:24:30,958 Craigloggen? 424 00:24:31,023 --> 00:24:33,025 - [ Door Closes] - Look it up. 425 00:25:09,828 --> 00:25:11,364 [ Mews] 37033

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