All language subtitles for The Bob Newhart Show s02e04 - Somebody Down Here Likes Me

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,355 --> 00:00:05,962 - [ Rings] - Hello? 2 00:01:12,225 --> 00:01:14,398 - Hi, Emily. Hi, Howard. - Hi, Bob. - Hi, dear. 3 00:01:14,461 --> 00:01:17,169 You're home already? I haven't even started dinner. 4 00:01:17,230 --> 00:01:19,733 I can go back and come in later. 5 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:22,747 No! I-l just didn't realize how late it was. 6 00:01:22,803 --> 00:01:26,080 - Wejust got back from the auction. - Oh, yeah. How was it? 7 00:01:26,139 --> 00:01:29,086 Great! I mean, for the church it was great. 8 00:01:29,142 --> 00:01:32,146 Some of us made very generous contributions. 9 00:01:33,814 --> 00:01:36,021 Some, uh- Some of us? 10 00:01:36,082 --> 00:01:39,529 Yeah, well, uh, I'll start dinner. [Chuckling] 11 00:01:39,586 --> 00:01:42,931 Anyway, I, uh, gotta get back to the church. 12 00:01:42,989 --> 00:01:45,970 Howard, have you always been such a big church person? 13 00:01:46,026 --> 00:01:48,973 Bob, when you hit an air pocket at 30,000 feet... 14 00:01:49,029 --> 00:01:50,838 you've gotta believe in something. 15 00:01:52,933 --> 00:01:56,210 So, they had a lot of interesting things at the auction. 16 00:01:56,269 --> 00:01:58,215 Yeah. Really, really interesting. 17 00:01:58,271 --> 00:02:00,547 What interesting thing did you buy? 18 00:02:00,607 --> 00:02:02,609 Oh, I hope you like it, Bob. 19 00:02:02,676 --> 00:02:05,555 Well, I want to like it, Emily. Wh-What is it? 20 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:08,626 - Guess. - A steeple. 21 00:02:08,682 --> 00:02:10,628 No. 22 00:02:10,684 --> 00:02:13,062 Here it is, Bob. 23 00:02:13,119 --> 00:02:15,121 Isn't it beautiful? 24 00:02:16,389 --> 00:02:19,336 - A Bible? - Well, that's no ordinary Bible, Bob. 25 00:02:19,392 --> 00:02:21,929 That's 400 years old. That's an antique Bible. 26 00:02:21,995 --> 00:02:24,635 How much is that in dollars? 27 00:02:24,698 --> 00:02:29,078 Well, the price includes a solid oak stand that they're delivering tomorrow. 28 00:02:29,135 --> 00:02:32,480 Emily, I'm gonna sit down for this. 29 00:02:32,539 --> 00:02:36,077 I want it fast- one quick chop in the throat. 30 00:02:36,142 --> 00:02:38,645 The whole thing- delivery charge, tax included. 31 00:02:38,712 --> 00:02:40,953 - Oh, Bob, but it's so beautiful. - Faster. 32 00:02:41,014 --> 00:02:42,960 - We haven't bought anything for the house in months. - Faster. 33 00:02:43,016 --> 00:02:44,620 - $350. - You're kidding. 34 00:02:44,684 --> 00:02:46,527 I'll take it back. 35 00:02:46,586 --> 00:02:49,999 - Emily, I want to explain something to you. - I said I'd take it back. 36 00:02:50,056 --> 00:02:52,764 Emily, there is no way I can askyou to take that back... 37 00:02:52,826 --> 00:02:54,931 without feeling like a villain. 38 00:02:54,995 --> 00:02:58,704 I mean, asking you to take back a Bible is like kicking a dog. 39 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:02,646 Let's say it's a- 40 00:03:04,537 --> 00:03:06,483 a cannonball- 41 00:03:06,539 --> 00:03:10,817 an antique cannonball- and you paid $350 for it. 42 00:03:10,877 --> 00:03:14,222 Now, if I told you, “Emily, that's too much money for a cannonball“... 43 00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:16,227 you'd take it back, right? 44 00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:19,093 - Right. - Then take back the cannonball. 45 00:03:21,721 --> 00:03:24,668 You know, Bob, I was gonna take it back. 46 00:03:24,724 --> 00:03:28,194 But after that dumb argument, I'm gonna keep it. 47 00:03:29,195 --> 00:03:31,937 All right, Emily, I understand. 48 00:03:31,998 --> 00:03:34,444 You saw something on the spur of the moment... 49 00:03:34,501 --> 00:03:36,947 that you thought would look nice in our house. 50 00:03:37,003 --> 00:03:40,883 I'm not gonna askyou to take it back. I'm not gonna argue with you anymore. 51 00:03:40,941 --> 00:03:42,978 I'll tell you what. 52 00:03:44,611 --> 00:03:46,613 I'll take it back. 53 00:03:51,918 --> 00:03:53,864 Nothing's coming out, Ernie! 54 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:57,060 - How'; that? - There. Now it's blowing up a storm. 55 00:03:57,123 --> 00:03:59,125 Thanks, Reverend. 56 00:04:00,493 --> 00:04:03,201 - [ Knocking] - Come in. 57 00:04:05,498 --> 00:04:08,342 Uh- Uh, Reverend Bradford? 58 00:04:08,401 --> 00:04:10,677 - Right. - I'm Bob Hartley. 59 00:04:10,737 --> 00:04:13,684 Hartley? Dr. Hartley, Emily's husband. 60 00:04:13,740 --> 00:04:16,118 - That's right. - I really want to thank you. 61 00:04:16,176 --> 00:04:19,419 Your wife really made that auction a great success. 62 00:04:20,413 --> 00:04:22,723 I'm sure she had a part in it. 63 00:04:22,782 --> 00:04:27,128 We made enough money to send the poor kids to camp... 64 00:04:27,187 --> 00:04:30,566 set up a soup kitchen for some of the guys on skid row... 65 00:04:30,623 --> 00:04:32,864 buy a new pipe for the organ. 66 00:04:32,926 --> 00:04:35,930 B-flat. We've never had that before. 67 00:04:37,130 --> 00:04:41,237 I'm sure that “B“ is a very important flat. 68 00:04:41,301 --> 00:04:45,306 And we even had enough left over for this. [Chuckles] 69 00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:48,376 Well, Dr. Hartley, I guess we'd better talk about it, huh? 70 00:04:48,441 --> 00:04:50,819 Uh, talk about it? 71 00:04:50,877 --> 00:04:55,758 The Bible. I have a feeling you're not carrying it aroundjust to read it on the train. 72 00:04:56,616 --> 00:04:58,562 Set it down here. 73 00:04:58,618 --> 00:05:01,565 Yeah, well, thank you. It is kinda heavy. 74 00:05:01,621 --> 00:05:04,500 It's no wonder. The Psalms alone weigh 15 pounds. 75 00:05:04,557 --> 00:05:06,901 - It's a honey, isn't it? - Yeah. 76 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:10,066 L, uh, thumbed through it, you know. 77 00:05:10,130 --> 00:05:13,407 [Clears Throat] It seems to be in very good shape. 78 00:05:13,466 --> 00:05:16,845 You want your money back, don't you, Dr. Hartley? 79 00:05:18,638 --> 00:05:21,949 Yes- Yes, I do- I-l did. 80 00:05:23,209 --> 00:05:25,621 Well,ina- in a way I still do. 81 00:05:25,678 --> 00:05:27,624 Don't feel guilty. 82 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:32,527 If I were married and my wife spent $350 for a Bible, I'd be madder than hell. 83 00:05:32,585 --> 00:05:34,496 [Clears Throat] That's, uh- 84 00:05:34,554 --> 00:05:36,465 That's good to know. [Chuckles] 85 00:05:36,523 --> 00:05:38,935 I haven't even cashed your check yet. 86 00:05:38,992 --> 00:05:40,835 Here. 87 00:05:41,995 --> 00:05:45,465 I appreciate your not making me feel guilty. 88 00:05:45,532 --> 00:05:47,978 I didn't wanna go that far. 89 00:05:48,034 --> 00:05:49,980 Don't worry about it. 90 00:05:50,036 --> 00:05:53,279 Listen, a lot of people get caught up with a spirit of generosity... 91 00:05:53,339 --> 00:05:57,344 and then when they realize it's going to cost them money they have second thoughts. 92 00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:01,850 I'm starting to feel guilty all over again. 93 00:06:01,915 --> 00:06:04,521 Good! 94 00:06:04,584 --> 00:06:07,531 Hey, what do you say we go out and get a cup of coffee? 95 00:06:07,587 --> 00:06:09,794 - Oh, l-l'm sorry- - I'll treat. 96 00:06:14,527 --> 00:06:16,473 Uh, no, no. Maybe s-some other time. 97 00:06:16,529 --> 00:06:19,567 I have a patient due at 11 :00. I should be back. 98 00:06:19,632 --> 00:06:21,976 - What kind of a doctor are you? - I'm a psychologist. 99 00:06:22,035 --> 00:06:24,709 Ah, really? I wanted to be a psychologist too. 100 00:06:24,771 --> 00:06:28,878 And a fireman and a discjockey and a helicopter pilot. 101 00:06:28,942 --> 00:06:31,149 And president of the United States. 102 00:06:32,312 --> 00:06:35,350 What you wound up doing is pretty good too. 103 00:06:35,415 --> 00:06:37,361 Oh, yeah. Yeah- 104 00:06:37,417 --> 00:06:41,422 Oh,yeah,yeah! I love it. I really do. Ministry is terrific. 105 00:06:42,555 --> 00:06:44,501 We have one shortcoming though. 106 00:06:44,557 --> 00:06:47,094 It's that constant uphill battle... 107 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:49,162 to raise money. 108 00:06:53,266 --> 00:06:55,769 L, uh, I really ought to be getting back. 109 00:07:01,241 --> 00:07:04,711 Uh, Emily really, uh- really liked that Bible. 110 00:07:04,777 --> 00:07:07,383 I'll sell it back to you for $400. 111 00:07:07,447 --> 00:07:10,394 No, no, you can take the Bible back if you want. 112 00:07:10,450 --> 00:07:13,056 That's not a bad investment, and it is tax-deductible. 113 00:07:13,119 --> 00:07:16,589 Maybe I- Maybe I s-should take it back. 114 00:07:17,690 --> 00:07:20,136 - [Ernie] Rem Bradford? - Yes? 115 00:07:20,193 --> 00:07:22,639 - I'm coming down. - Fine. 116 00:07:30,203 --> 00:07:32,205 [Clears Throat] 117 00:07:42,382 --> 00:07:45,659 I don't know, Dr. Hartley. I've never felt this low in my whole life. 118 00:07:45,718 --> 00:07:49,757 The more time you invest in a relationship, the worse you feel when it's over. 119 00:07:49,822 --> 00:07:53,133 How long have you and Cynthia been seeing each other? 120 00:07:53,193 --> 00:07:55,104 Over a week. 121 00:07:58,464 --> 00:08:01,775 Well, it's certainly one of your longer relationships, Mr. Carlin. 122 00:08:01,834 --> 00:08:04,781 We're never out of each other's sight. 123 00:08:04,837 --> 00:08:08,785 From the minute she came to work as my secretary, we were inseparable. 124 00:08:08,841 --> 00:08:11,185 We had breakfast, lunch and dinner together. 125 00:08:11,244 --> 00:08:15,624 When did you first notice the relationship was starting to deteriorate? 126 00:08:15,682 --> 00:08:17,684 When she married my partner. 127 00:08:20,286 --> 00:08:22,232 That- [Clears Throat] 128 00:08:22,288 --> 00:08:24,928 That would do it, yeah. 129 00:08:24,991 --> 00:08:28,131 I can't figure out when they had time to see each other. 130 00:08:28,194 --> 00:08:32,609 Maybe it was somewhere after dinner and before breakfast. 131 00:08:36,903 --> 00:08:39,850 Yeah, well, unfortunately, our time is up, Mr. Carlin. 132 00:08:39,906 --> 00:08:43,911 I gotta get back to the office. My partner's wife gets real mad when I'm late. 133 00:08:49,716 --> 00:08:52,322 I have to go to the bathroom. 134 00:08:52,385 --> 00:08:55,298 Well, that's okay with me, Mr. Carlin. 135 00:08:57,690 --> 00:08:59,636 I need the key. The key. 136 00:08:59,692 --> 00:09:02,332 Oh, we don't keep it locked anymore. 137 00:09:02,395 --> 00:09:05,638 Oh. Then I'm not going. 138 00:09:15,275 --> 00:09:17,721 Excuse me. ls Dr. Hartley free? 139 00:09:17,777 --> 00:09:19,848 No, but he's reasonable. 140 00:09:22,048 --> 00:09:26,554 That's just a little, uh, receptionist humor there. 141 00:09:27,787 --> 00:09:30,199 - Did you have an appointment? - No, no. 142 00:09:30,256 --> 00:09:34,295 - I just wanted to drop in, say hello. - Oh. Well, I'll just buzz him. 143 00:09:39,499 --> 00:09:41,877 Oh, Bob, there's a, uh- 144 00:09:41,934 --> 00:09:44,881 - Dan Bradford. - Dan Bradford here. 145 00:09:44,937 --> 00:09:47,213 Mm-hmm. Okay. 146 00:09:47,273 --> 00:09:49,219 Thank you. 147 00:09:49,275 --> 00:09:51,221 He'll be right out, Mr. Bradford. 148 00:09:51,277 --> 00:09:53,689 - Dan. - Carol. 149 00:09:56,349 --> 00:09:59,728 Excuse me for saying this, but you really have a very nice smile. 150 00:09:59,786 --> 00:10:02,232 L beg your pardon? 151 00:10:02,288 --> 00:10:04,564 You have a very nice smile. 152 00:10:04,624 --> 00:10:08,333 Oh. Thank you. I just wanted to hear it again. 153 00:10:10,330 --> 00:10:12,139 Well, Reverend Bradford, come on in. 154 00:10:12,198 --> 00:10:14,872 Reverend? You're a reverend? 155 00:10:14,934 --> 00:10:16,880 - Uh-huh. - Oh. Oh. Oh. 156 00:10:16,936 --> 00:10:20,440 I'm sorry, sir. I'm- I'm sorry. I'm really- 157 00:10:23,309 --> 00:10:26,290 I'm- Really, I'm- 158 00:10:27,380 --> 00:10:29,485 Why don't you sit down? 159 00:10:32,385 --> 00:10:36,765 I guess most people don't sit on this couch. 160 00:10:36,823 --> 00:10:38,461 That's right. 161 00:10:38,524 --> 00:10:41,266 Would you, uh, care for some coffee? 162 00:10:41,327 --> 00:10:43,830 - No, thanks. - I'll treat. 163 00:10:43,896 --> 00:10:45,898 Maybe later. 164 00:10:48,368 --> 00:10:50,678 Yeah. 165 00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:53,946 I really enjoyed meeting Emily the other day. 166 00:10:54,006 --> 00:10:56,953 And I especially enjoyed talking to you at the church. 167 00:10:57,009 --> 00:10:59,580 L-I enjoyed talking to you too, Reverend. 168 00:10:59,645 --> 00:11:02,854 What are the chances of seeing you on a full-time basis? 169 00:11:04,217 --> 00:11:07,198 Well, Emily and I get to church as often as we can. 170 00:11:08,521 --> 00:11:11,468 No, you don't understand. 171 00:11:11,524 --> 00:11:15,438 I would like to come and see you professionally as your patient. 172 00:11:17,930 --> 00:11:20,308 You seem surprised, Dr. Hartley. 173 00:11:21,367 --> 00:11:23,813 Well, you are a- a minister. 174 00:11:23,870 --> 00:11:26,111 Well, ministers have problems too. 175 00:11:26,172 --> 00:11:29,312 Well, um, I mean, isn't there... 176 00:11:29,375 --> 00:11:31,878 someone else you could discuss it with? 177 00:11:33,045 --> 00:11:35,047 [Clears Throat] 178 00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:39,059 I just feel that I'd be... 179 00:11:39,118 --> 00:11:41,496 uh, stepping on toes. 180 00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:45,861 Big, big toes. 181 00:11:47,627 --> 00:11:52,133 I can't get through to God on this one, Dr. Hartley. 182 00:11:52,198 --> 00:11:54,200 That's why I came to you. 183 00:11:58,237 --> 00:12:00,683 Been doing a lot of soul searching... 184 00:12:00,740 --> 00:12:04,051 and I've been thinking about going to see a psychologist... 185 00:12:04,110 --> 00:12:08,718 so after talking with you in my office, I felt I wanted to come talk to you in your office. 186 00:12:08,781 --> 00:12:12,524 How about your superiors? Have you talked to them? 187 00:12:12,585 --> 00:12:16,590 Yeah. They sit there and do push-ups with their fingers. 188 00:12:16,656 --> 00:12:19,159 Kinda like what you're doing right now. 189 00:12:20,593 --> 00:12:23,096 Uh, here's the coffee, Bob. 190 00:12:29,402 --> 00:12:31,348 Excuse me. Pardon me. 191 00:12:31,404 --> 00:12:33,850 Excuse me. Uh, that's a little hot, Reverend. 192 00:12:33,906 --> 00:12:37,376 Uh, excuse me. And, uh, bless you. 193 00:12:41,581 --> 00:12:43,583 [Clears Throat] 194 00:12:44,884 --> 00:12:46,830 Uh, Reverend... 195 00:12:46,886 --> 00:12:50,857 I'd like to askyou, what do you feel is your problem? 196 00:12:50,923 --> 00:12:53,062 Well, you'vejust seen it. 197 00:12:54,694 --> 00:12:57,470 - You mean Carol? - I mean all Carols. 198 00:12:57,530 --> 00:13:01,478 The minute they find out I'm a minister, they turn right off. 199 00:13:01,534 --> 00:13:04,538 And it's not just the women- it's everybody. 200 00:13:04,604 --> 00:13:07,949 I just wish everybody wouldn't treat me so formally. 201 00:13:08,007 --> 00:13:10,715 Well, I'm not treating you formally, am I, Reverend? 202 00:13:10,776 --> 00:13:12,722 You see? Right there. 203 00:13:12,778 --> 00:13:16,521 We should be on a first-name basis, shouldn't we, Doctor? 204 00:13:17,850 --> 00:13:19,761 Why don't we call each other Bob and Dan. 205 00:13:19,819 --> 00:13:22,060 - Fine. - I'll be Dan. 206 00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:30,102 - Okay. - Now, you take the football season. 207 00:13:30,162 --> 00:13:33,735 See, I work Sunday. I can't even go and see a game. 208 00:13:33,799 --> 00:13:36,803 Sometimes I wish I was a rabbi. 209 00:13:38,538 --> 00:13:40,745 What about Monday Night Football? 210 00:13:40,806 --> 00:13:44,379 We have our elders meeting on Monday night. 211 00:13:44,443 --> 00:13:47,617 We have to get them early in the week while they're still alert. 212 00:13:51,617 --> 00:13:54,188 Did you see Last Tango in Paris? 213 00:13:56,155 --> 00:13:58,362 - Well- - Yeah, I saw it too. 214 00:13:59,559 --> 00:14:02,096 It was the biggest mistake I ever made. 215 00:14:02,161 --> 00:14:06,667 There were a couple of people from my congregation there. They saw me and walked out. 216 00:14:06,732 --> 00:14:10,043 - Maybe they didn't like the movie. - No, they liked the movie. 217 00:14:10,102 --> 00:14:12,048 They didn't like me liking it. 218 00:14:12,104 --> 00:14:14,380 You see, that's my trouble, Bob. 219 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:17,819 They don't allow me to be a person like anybody else. 220 00:14:17,877 --> 00:14:19,982 I thinkl understand. 221 00:14:20,046 --> 00:14:24,290 I think I'd be better off starting you off in a group therapy group. 222 00:14:24,350 --> 00:14:27,024 Just people relating to each other as people. 223 00:14:27,086 --> 00:14:31,501 No badges, no uniforms, no collars. 224 00:14:31,557 --> 00:14:34,902 Everybody is treated exactly like everybody else. 225 00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:36,907 That sounds terrific, Bob. 226 00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:40,342 How much will that kind of thing cost me? 227 00:14:40,399 --> 00:14:42,401 For you, nothing. 228 00:14:44,737 --> 00:14:47,547 Oh, uh, how often do we meet? 229 00:14:47,607 --> 00:14:50,554 Well, the bigger the problem, the more sessions. 230 00:14:50,610 --> 00:14:53,819 In a case like yours, one session a week would be enough. 231 00:14:53,879 --> 00:14:56,826 Hey, Bob, I got a couple extra tickets for the Bears game Sunday. 232 00:14:56,882 --> 00:14:58,828 - Can you use 'em? - Sorry/Jerry. I can't. 233 00:14:58,884 --> 00:15:01,421 Gee, that's too bad, Bob. These are great seats. 234 00:15:01,487 --> 00:15:04,991 How about you? I'm trying to unload 'em. I'll give 'em to you half price. 235 00:15:05,057 --> 00:15:07,936 Uh, thanks. I work on Sunday. 236 00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:11,066 What are you, a minister or somethin'? 237 00:15:12,465 --> 00:15:14,411 Yes, I am. 238 00:15:14,467 --> 00:15:16,344 Oh! Really? 239 00:15:16,402 --> 00:15:19,440 Oh, gee, I'm sorry. 240 00:15:19,505 --> 00:15:22,509 Well, if you know anybody who you might, uh- I'll s-see you later, Bob. 241 00:15:22,575 --> 00:15:24,577 I'm sorry. 242 00:15:26,045 --> 00:15:30,050 - J'J[ Dramatic] " [ Sobbing] 243 00:15:34,820 --> 00:15:36,766 [TV Clicks Off] 244 00:15:36,822 --> 00:15:39,769 Honey, why do you let Casablanca upset you so much? 245 00:15:39,825 --> 00:15:41,771 Oh, Bob. 246 00:15:41,827 --> 00:15:47,038 Ingrid Bergman is never gonna see Bogie again.just never. 247 00:15:47,099 --> 00:15:52,811 That's not true. She's gonna see him every night this week after the I 0:00 news. 248 00:15:53,873 --> 00:15:57,320 Oh, that moviejust exhausts me. 249 00:15:57,376 --> 00:16:00,516 Areyou almost finished with those bills? 250 00:16:00,579 --> 00:16:02,456 I only got a couple more. 251 00:16:02,515 --> 00:16:06,554 Reverend Bradford. I'm never quite sure what to charge him. 252 00:16:06,619 --> 00:16:11,261 Well, he wants to be treated like an ordinary guy, charge him like an ordinary guy. 253 00:16:11,323 --> 00:16:14,827 - It's just kinda hard. - Oh, well, let me make it easy for you, Bob. 254 00:16:14,894 --> 00:16:17,272 We own a $350 Bible. 255 00:16:17,329 --> 00:16:21,334 Right. Ordinary guy. 256 00:16:22,702 --> 00:16:24,648 He is such a sweet man. 257 00:16:24,704 --> 00:16:27,150 - How's he getting along? -just great. 258 00:16:27,206 --> 00:16:29,152 It's been two months now. 259 00:16:29,208 --> 00:16:32,781 The group is starting to accept him as a person, and he's starting to accept himself. 260 00:16:32,845 --> 00:16:35,849 It's really a pleasure to sit there and watch a man heal. 261 00:16:37,583 --> 00:16:39,529 You wanna finish the rest of these? 262 00:16:39,585 --> 00:16:41,587 I'm full. 263 00:16:44,290 --> 00:16:47,328 - [Knocking] - Bob and Emily, are you up? 264 00:16:47,393 --> 00:16:49,566 - [Bob] Yeah. Come on in, Howard - Oh! 265 00:16:52,898 --> 00:16:55,845 Oh, I just saw the most wonderful movie on television. 266 00:16:55,901 --> 00:16:58,177 I had to come over and tell you about it. 267 00:16:58,237 --> 00:17:00,843 You don't have to. Wejust saw it. 268 00:17:00,906 --> 00:17:05,150 Oh, gosh. I mean, wasn't he great? Wasn't he really great? 269 00:17:05,211 --> 00:17:07,657 - There's no one else like him. - Nobody. 270 00:17:07,713 --> 00:17:11,251 Now I know why they call him the King of Comedy. 271 00:17:14,487 --> 00:17:16,899 Humphrey Bogart was the King of Comedy? 272 00:17:16,956 --> 00:17:20,563 - No, he wasn't. - Howard, what are you talking about? 273 00:17:20,626 --> 00:17:22,537 AW.C. Fields movie. 274 00:17:22,595 --> 00:17:25,701 Boy, he makes me laugh so hard I could cry. 275 00:17:25,765 --> 00:17:27,711 [Phone Rings] 276 00:17:27,767 --> 00:17:30,008 I never thought Humphrey Bogart was funny. 277 00:17:30,069 --> 00:17:32,015 Hello? Oh, hi, Dan. 278 00:17:32,071 --> 00:17:35,746 No, you're not bothering us. We're just making out bills and crying. 279 00:17:37,877 --> 00:17:39,823 Tomorrow? A special sermon? 280 00:17:39,879 --> 00:17:41,825 Sure. We'd be glad to. 281 00:17:41,881 --> 00:17:44,760 Oh, and I thinkyou'll be very happy with this month's bill. 282 00:17:44,817 --> 00:17:46,763 Good-bye, Dan. 283 00:17:46,819 --> 00:17:49,026 - Was that Dan Bradford? - Yeah. 284 00:17:49,088 --> 00:17:51,034 - Reverend Bradford? - Yeah. 285 00:17:51,090 --> 00:17:54,731 - What did he call you for? - He wants us to come to his church tomorrow. 286 00:17:54,794 --> 00:17:57,502 He called you personally and asked you to go to church? 287 00:17:57,563 --> 00:18:01,443 - That's right, Howard. - You better go, Bob. 288 00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:04,174 Maybe he knows something. 289 00:18:05,938 --> 00:18:08,885 By the same token, the man who coined the phrase... 290 00:18:08,941 --> 00:18:11,888 “Don't change horses in the middle of the stream"... 291 00:18:11,944 --> 00:18:14,891 probably tried it and fell in the creek. 292 00:18:14,947 --> 00:18:19,293 But we can't be afraid to make a change, even ifit means getting a little wet. 293 00:18:19,351 --> 00:18:21,297 And that's the promise we have- 294 00:18:21,353 --> 00:18:23,924 that each day is a new opportunity... 295 00:18:23,989 --> 00:18:26,435 to make changes in our lives. 296 00:18:26,492 --> 00:18:29,439 Now, while we're on the subject of change... 297 00:18:29,495 --> 00:18:32,942 this is your chance to get rid of a little of yours. 298 00:18:32,998 --> 00:18:37,003 You might want to cushion it with a little folding money too. 299 00:18:37,069 --> 00:18:40,881 - 2.'! 0112911] - I really got a lot out of that, Bob. 300 00:18:40,940 --> 00:18:42,886 He is terrific. 301 00:18:42,942 --> 00:18:46,822 He was so interesting, I didn't get a chance to doze off. 302 00:18:49,515 --> 00:18:52,155 Howard, isn't $1 O a little generous? 303 00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:55,392 No, that's about right. I'm flying over the Rockies tonight. 304 00:18:56,722 --> 00:18:58,668 We'd better be generous too, honey. 305 00:18:58,724 --> 00:19:02,433 - We have to make up for a lot of Sundays. - I don't carry that much money. 306 00:19:02,494 --> 00:19:04,496 We take checks, Bob. 307 00:19:06,565 --> 00:19:09,512 I have a few announcements I'd like to make this morning. 308 00:19:09,568 --> 00:19:12,515 Two weeks from today there will be a pancake breakfast... 309 00:19:12,571 --> 00:19:15,518 in the social hall right after the service. 310 00:19:15,574 --> 00:19:19,522 The proceeds will be used to help pay for the batter. 311 00:19:19,578 --> 00:19:22,821 The senior high group will be holding another car wash... 312 00:19:22,882 --> 00:19:24,828 this afternoon from 1:00 to 4:00. 313 00:19:24,884 --> 00:19:29,196 It's only a dollar. And this time they promise to roll up your windows. 314 00:19:31,824 --> 00:19:35,704 Finally, I would like to express my appreciation... 315 00:19:35,761 --> 00:19:40,210 for the continued support you've given me for the three years I've been here. 316 00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:44,442 And in conjunction with that, I would like to tell you just a little bit about a man... 317 00:19:44,503 --> 00:19:46,449 who is with us today- 318 00:19:46,505 --> 00:19:50,510 I won't embarrass him by asking him to stand up- he knows who he is. 319 00:19:51,844 --> 00:19:55,223 But he's been more thanjust a friend. 320 00:19:55,281 --> 00:19:57,591 He's been instrumental in... 321 00:19:57,650 --> 00:20:00,859 helping me get in touch with my feelings and not copping out. 322 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:04,390 - Bob, he's talking about you. - I know. 323 00:20:04,456 --> 00:20:06,732 I want to thank him... 324 00:20:06,792 --> 00:20:09,739 for helping me to reach a very important decision. 325 00:20:09,795 --> 00:20:13,333 So, following the car wash and the baptism this afternoon... 326 00:20:13,399 --> 00:20:15,709 I'll be hanging up the collar. 327 00:20:15,768 --> 00:20:17,714 [Congregation Murmuring] 328 00:20:17,770 --> 00:20:19,681 Oh, no. 329 00:20:19,738 --> 00:20:21,684 I'm leaving the ministry... 330 00:20:21,740 --> 00:20:25,688 and I would like to thank God and Dr. Robert Hartley... 331 00:20:25,744 --> 00:20:28,190 for giving me the strength to do it. 332 00:20:28,247 --> 00:20:32,127 Who is this Dr. Robert Hartley? 333 00:20:44,830 --> 00:20:49,438 Bob, it's not your fault. Will you stop blaming yourself. 334 00:20:49,501 --> 00:20:53,506 You heard what the man said, right there in front of God and everybody. 335 00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:59,118 “Dr. Robert Hartley.“ And then I swore I heard a clap of thunder. 336 00:21:00,312 --> 00:21:02,883 Bob, somebody dropped a collection plate. 337 00:21:04,149 --> 00:21:05,958 Bob, you can't feel guilty... 338 00:21:06,018 --> 00:21:08,965 for helping a man realize he was in the wrong profession. 339 00:21:09,021 --> 00:21:10,694 He quit the ministry. 340 00:21:10,756 --> 00:21:14,294 You're treating the ministry as if it's something sacred. 341 00:21:16,929 --> 00:21:18,875 Well, I think it is. 342 00:21:18,931 --> 00:21:21,036 Well, it wasn't right for him. 343 00:21:23,302 --> 00:21:25,304 Emily, sit up. 344 00:21:27,873 --> 00:21:32,151 When I was a little boy my mother used to take me to church on Sunday. 345 00:21:32,211 --> 00:21:35,158 She'd dress me up in this cute little sailor suit. 346 00:21:35,214 --> 00:21:38,388 I know, dear. She's saving it for us for when we have a son. 347 00:21:38,450 --> 00:21:41,397 And I used to sit in this big pew... 348 00:21:41,453 --> 00:21:44,866 and stare up at the priest towering over me in the pulpit... 349 00:21:44,923 --> 00:21:48,461 and listening to his deep, resonant voice booming out at me. 350 00:21:48,527 --> 00:21:50,473 I mean, I thought he was God. 351 00:21:50,529 --> 00:21:52,509 Well, I can understand why. 352 00:21:52,564 --> 00:21:57,741 And then I found out later that he'sjust a 5-foot-3-inch person... 353 00:21:57,803 --> 00:22:00,750 standing on a orange crate using a microphone. 354 00:22:00,806 --> 00:22:04,049 Then one Sunday, in the middle of his sermon... 355 00:22:04,109 --> 00:22:07,056 the orange crate collapsed. 356 00:22:07,112 --> 00:22:10,389 As he was falling through it, he grabbed the microphone. 357 00:22:10,449 --> 00:22:12,759 He disappeared behind the lectern. 358 00:22:12,818 --> 00:22:14,764 But he still kept talking. 359 00:22:14,820 --> 00:22:17,266 He never missed a beat of the sermon. 360 00:22:17,322 --> 00:22:23,102 And he must have been thrashing back there for- for 1 O or 15 minutes. 361 00:22:23,162 --> 00:22:27,542 And when he finally got up, it was just in time to say “Amen? 362 00:22:27,599 --> 00:22:29,545 He didn't give up, Emily. 363 00:22:29,601 --> 00:22:33,606 I mean, that's- that's, to me, what the clergy is all about. 364 00:22:33,672 --> 00:22:36,050 I mean, you-you don't quit... 365 00:22:36,108 --> 00:22:39,055 even if your orange crate breaks. 366 00:22:40,779 --> 00:22:43,726 Bob, a man quit hisjob. 367 00:22:43,782 --> 00:22:46,729 You've had other patients quit theirjobs. 368 00:22:46,785 --> 00:22:51,165 What about that Mr. Kerwin? He was unhappy in his work, and you encouraged him to quit. 369 00:22:51,223 --> 00:22:54,864 Emily, that isn't the same thing. Mr. Kerwin slaughtered pigs. 370 00:22:56,128 --> 00:22:58,074 But, Bob, it is the same thing. 371 00:22:58,130 --> 00:23:02,169 Dan Bradford has as much right to quit as Mr. Kerwin. 372 00:23:02,234 --> 00:23:05,875 You've got to let him go. You have got to practice what you preach. 373 00:23:05,938 --> 00:23:08,942 - You really think so? - I really do. 374 00:23:09,007 --> 00:23:10,987 - You know what else I think? - What? 375 00:23:11,043 --> 00:23:13,990 I think I have got to get some sleep. 376 00:23:15,047 --> 00:23:17,323 Okay. I think I can sleep now too. 377 00:23:17,382 --> 00:23:19,328 [Sighs] 378 00:23:19,384 --> 00:23:22,331 You know, you're so right, Emily. 379 00:23:22,387 --> 00:23:24,333 You really- You really understand me. 380 00:23:24,389 --> 00:23:26,335 Oh, thank you, Bob. 381 00:23:26,391 --> 00:23:30,339 I mean, here I was blaming myself for something I had no control over. 382 00:23:30,395 --> 00:23:33,535 - I mean, that's wrong. - That's right, Bob. 383 00:23:33,599 --> 00:23:36,842 B-Because it- I-it wasn't my fault. 384 00:23:36,902 --> 00:23:39,041 Good night, Bob. 385 00:23:44,743 --> 00:23:46,689 I mean... 386 00:23:46,745 --> 00:23:48,747 it was yam fault. 387 00:23:51,083 --> 00:23:54,758 If you hadn't brought the Bible home, this never would have happened. 388 00:23:58,323 --> 00:24:01,793 Fine, Mrsjacobs, 4:00. Okay. 389 00:24:01,860 --> 00:24:03,806 Hi, Carol. Any calls? Any messages? 390 00:24:03,862 --> 00:24:06,570 Uh, no calls, no messages, but... 391 00:24:06,632 --> 00:24:09,636 you got a letter from Dan Bradford postmarked Bangor, Maine. 392 00:24:09,701 --> 00:24:11,647 I didn't know he went there. 393 00:24:11,703 --> 00:24:15,742 Yeah, that's his hometown. He ran for mayor, and he's very happy. 394 00:24:15,807 --> 00:24:18,754 Oh, Dan Bradford. A politician. 395 00:24:18,810 --> 00:24:21,950 I thought he was too honest for that. 396 00:24:29,054 --> 00:24:31,898 I didn't say he won. I just said he was happy. 397 00:25:05,557 --> 00:25:07,002 [ Mews] 32315

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