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1
00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:04,103
[♪♪♪]
2
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- Whoa! This lobby
is laden with Loudons.
3
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:01,427
- Hi, Michael.
4
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:05,497
- Michael! I knew I smelled
a dozen long-stemmed roses.
5
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:09,068
- What did you call
those things again?
6
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,569
Roses?
7
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,337
- Joanna, I give you flowers.
8
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:15,640
- I wouldn't call a packet
of Burpee seeds romantic.
9
00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:19,078
- Boy, there is no pleasing.
10
00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:20,446
- Anyway, this is my way
of saying that
11
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:21,980
due to a pile of paperwork,
12
00:01:22,149 --> 00:01:24,283
I have to press the pause button
on our lunch date.
13
00:01:24,452 --> 00:01:27,719
- Michael, you're a producer.
Lunch is what you do.
14
00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:31,623
- Try telling it
to that tyrant Nancy.
15
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She's turning the station
into a sweatshop.
16
00:01:34,861 --> 00:01:36,628
- I thought the new
station owner was a man.
17
00:01:36,797 --> 00:01:39,198
- He is. She's...
she's the gofer.
18
00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:43,001
- You're afraid
of the office help?
19
00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:46,238
- Jiminy Cricket, Steph.
She's bossy and she's whiney.
20
00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:48,107
She complains about
every little thing.
21
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:50,309
Thank goodness I have you
to come home to.
22
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:53,645
- You've been blessed.
23
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,314
- Why don't you plop
these posies in Perrier
24
00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:57,483
while I jump on
the blab wagon with Dick.
25
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:04,323
- Snip the ends, fill the vase,
change water often.
26
00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:07,626
Oh, Joanna, you're so lucky
you never get flowers.
27
00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:11,330
- I've been blessed, too.
28
00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:15,000
- Dick, I don't know how to
handle this gofer from hell.
29
00:02:15,169 --> 00:02:16,468
She's already trying to
sabotage Vermont Today
30
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,404
by quibbling over
next week's guest.
31
00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:21,640
- You mean J.D. Salinger?
32
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,175
- Sure. I mean,
that's who you'd be stuck with
33
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:25,177
if hipper heads
hadn't prevailed.
34
00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:28,013
- Who did I get, Michael?
35
00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:29,448
- The Amazing Earl.
36
00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:32,651
- Don't tell me...
a fortune teller?
37
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:34,753
- Pshaw, Joanna.
Anyone can predict the future.
38
00:02:34,921 --> 00:02:39,258
The Amazing Earl predicts
the past with 90% accuracy.
39
00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:42,827
- There's, uh... there's
got to be a trick.
40
00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:45,531
- He was just a normal guy.
41
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,065
Last year, a brick
fell on his head,
42
00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:48,900
and he predicted
the Beatles would break up.
43
00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:53,272
- Are you talking about
The Amazing Earl?
44
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:54,673
Yesterday,
at the town square,
45
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:59,278
he predicted we'd have a man
on the moon by 1970.
46
00:03:06,453 --> 00:03:07,419
- Hi. I'm Larry.
47
00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:08,554
This is my brother Darryl,
48
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,422
and this is
my other brother, Darryl.
49
00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:12,724
- "Can o' history"?
50
00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:16,228
- We're collectin' artifacts
for our time capsule.
51
00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:17,629
Darryl here feels that George,
52
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:21,200
as a member of the town's oldest
and nearly extinct family,
53
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:24,069
should be the first
to contribute.
54
00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:27,406
- Gee, I'm flattered, but
I don't know what to donate.
55
00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:29,741
- Don't you want to leave
some kind of legacy,
56
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:32,477
or at least enjoy
the secret thrill of knowing
57
00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:35,414
that somethin' of yours
is trapped underground?
58
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:41,786
- Kind of hard to turn down
an offer like that, George.
59
00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:43,488
- How about my hammer?
60
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:49,228
My dad gave it to me,
and his dad got it at Sears.
61
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:50,762
- Sears.
62
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:52,163
- Here, Larry.
63
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,899
See if those future folk can
keep up with a day in my life.
64
00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:58,704
- Wow!
Power breakfast, brunch,
65
00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:01,440
late lunch, high tea,
66
00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:03,242
cocktails, dinner.
67
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:06,445
Well, no need for a Snickers
to tide you over.
68
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:18,590
- Harris, I'm still waiting
for those requisition forms.
69
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,859
- Nancy, let up!
70
00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:22,761
I realize this is your first job
in television,
71
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:25,697
so let's review
the chain of command.
72
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:30,269
You're a...a gofer which
puts you right about here.
73
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:36,241
And I'm a producer
which puts me right about here,
74
00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:38,410
and it would take you
roughly a bazillion promotions
75
00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:40,345
just to look me in the belt.
76
00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,114
- In the time
it took you to say all that,
77
00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:45,384
you could have done
those requisitions.
78
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:51,790
Well, Paul and Bud.
On another coffee break, boys?
79
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,792
- What if we are?
80
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,928
- I sure hope no one squeals
to the new station owner.
81
00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:01,566
- I'm tellin' you, Mike,
if it were up to me,
82
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:04,403
she'd have a size 12 bootmark
on her behind.
83
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:07,172
- Tell him what you did
to people like that
84
00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:08,740
in the service, Paul.
85
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,846
- You know, Mike,
we can get rid of her.
86
00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:16,682
I mean, just between you, me,
the walls, and Bud,
87
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:18,684
who runs this station?
88
00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:22,187
- Well, natch, that would...
that would be yours truly.
89
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:24,556
- With us behind you, we could
send that pushy pest packin'
90
00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:27,058
and have her poundin'
the pavement by the p.m.
91
00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:31,029
- Perfectly put, Paul,
but practical?
92
00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:34,866
- She's not PIV material, Mike.
93
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:37,402
I wouldn't be surprised
if she sleeps around.
94
00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:39,471
- The harlot!
95
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,207
- Strike while the iron is hot.
96
00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:44,876
Oh, Sue, would you be so kind
as to ask Mr. Gorski
97
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:46,778
to step into
Mr. Harris's office?
98
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:49,280
Thank you.
99
00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:51,316
Now, are we all
together on this? Bud?
100
00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:53,518
- I hear she sleeps around.
101
00:05:55,422 --> 00:05:56,254
- Mike?
102
00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:57,522
- Are you sure
we shouldn't let this notion
103
00:05:58,359 --> 00:05:59,491
do one more lap
around our noggins?
104
00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:01,360
- [CHUCKLES] Pretty noble...
105
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:04,095
considering how she ragged
on your last haircut.
106
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:08,400
- She criticized my coif!
107
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:12,637
- What is it, Michael?
108
00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:15,474
- Mr. Gorski, we have a problem.
109
00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:17,308
I'm afraid that gofer's
getting a little too big
110
00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:19,711
for her Nancy pants.
111
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,946
- Hmmm, go on.
112
00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:23,415
- Well, she's disruptive.
113
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:26,551
She's bossy, and as far as
her taste in hairstyles...
114
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,287
- Michael says
she sleeps around.
115
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:30,321
- Oh.
116
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:31,690
- Well, I'm afraid
all my instincts cry,
117
00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:33,658
nix this nudnick!
118
00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:38,363
- Well, I certainly admire
your courage and conviction
119
00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:40,098
to take a stand like this...
120
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:45,504
against my daughter who is
my single purpose in living.
121
00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:47,338
- A beautiful girl.
122
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:49,708
- Precious.
- Isn't she though?
123
00:06:49,877 --> 00:06:52,611
- And you've spoken your heart
and I've listened.
124
00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:54,579
Now get the hell out of here.
125
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:00,351
- Good job, Mikey.
126
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,964
- Hi!
- [APPLAUSE]
127
00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:17,836
We're here to give you
a time capsule update
128
00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:18,904
with a hearty thank you
129
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:21,973
for the generous donation
of your penny loafers.
130
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:24,476
- Penny loafers?
131
00:07:24,645 --> 00:07:27,546
You--you gave them
my lucky shoes?
132
00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:29,714
- Honey, they were old and worn.
133
00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:30,715
- Great.
Now what am I supposed to wear
134
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:33,284
with my lucky socks?
135
00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:37,522
- Well, I made a sacrifice, too.
I gave them my lavender scarf.
136
00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:40,625
- The one I gave you
for your birthday?
137
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,427
- Ooops!
138
00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:46,898
I think I'll go upstairs and
ram a spike through my tongue.
139
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,535
- You know,
while Darryl was diggin',
140
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:53,505
he stumbled across quite a find
which reminds me...
141
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:55,440
would you care to
join us tonight
142
00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:57,709
in a rousing game of
Guess the Carcass?
143
00:07:57,878 --> 00:07:59,878
It's more fun with teams.
144
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:03,448
- Well, you--you don't
have to tell me.
145
00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:05,951
- Miss Stephanie.
146
00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:08,720
May I say that your artifact
was the most popular,
147
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:09,888
at least with Darryl.
148
00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:12,023
- Oh, Larry, of course you may.
149
00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,627
- What, uh...
what did you donate?
150
00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:18,497
- An authentic, one-of-a-kind
Stephanie Vanderkellen lip print
151
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,064
on tissue paper.
152
00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:22,300
- Come on, Darryl.
153
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:24,970
Let's go grease up
for Guess the Carcass.
154
00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:31,476
- Break out the congrats.
155
00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:33,344
Nancy and I
are no longer nose to nose
156
00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:35,647
on the same grindstone.
157
00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:37,682
- Well, I'm surprised.
I-I thought she'd last.
158
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:41,252
- Actually, Dick, she did.
The ax fell right about here.
159
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,122
- Crawl back, Michael!
160
00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:46,992
Crawl like you've
never crawled before!
161
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,026
- No can do, Steph.
162
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,294
I bad-yacked the boss's
youngling.
163
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,999
- Nan-Nancy
is Gorski's daughter?
164
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:56,200
- Curse those
executive loins of his.
165
00:08:58,104 --> 00:08:59,938
- Michael, you're upsetting
the delicate balance
166
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:03,207
between a high-income job
and a showpiece girlfriend.
167
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,611
- Cupcake, I was at
that dead-end job too long.
168
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:09,247
Stagnation may be all right
for someone like Dick, but...
169
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,652
I need more upwardly
in my mobile.
170
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:15,587
- I feel a worry wrinkle
coming on.
171
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:16,922
- Unknit that brow, Steph.
172
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,356
This is just
the jumpstart I need.
173
00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:20,692
In fact, tonight we celebrate
my availability.
174
00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:21,993
How about it, Dick?
Open invite.
175
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,864
- Oh, I'm afraid I've got to
grease up for Guess the Carcass.
176
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,671
- Well, Mr., uh, X...
177
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:36,841
Anyone who can type
20 words a minute
178
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:39,744
will always have a job
in this town.
179
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,915
Now report to Rita
in Job Placement
180
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,951
for your assignment.
181
00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:52,924
Uh, Michael Harris?
182
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,526
- In the skin.
183
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:56,962
- I'm Dotty Stansbury.
184
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,564
Now what sort of job
are you looking for?
185
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:00,832
- Well, I'm not picky.
186
00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:02,467
What do you have
in the mucho moolah range
187
00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:03,835
with percs aplenty?
188
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,870
- No, I mean,
what field are you in?
189
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,739
What skills do you have?
190
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:09,207
- I look incredible
in earth tones.
191
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:11,610
[CHUCKLES]
I can schmooze with the best,
192
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,144
and I'm the king
of the countdown.
193
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:16,781
- Oooh, you must be
in television.
194
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:17,983
- Bingus!
195
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:19,818
- Rita.
196
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:21,620
- Yes, Dotty.
197
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,655
- Mr. Harris is in television.
- [GASP]
198
00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:25,556
- Do we have anything for him?
199
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:27,959
Something preferably
in the mucho moolah range
200
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,161
with percs aplenty.
201
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:34,265
- What a lucky day!
WPIV needs a producer.
202
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:40,939
It seems that their last one
had sort of a psychotic episode.
203
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:45,376
He called the owner's daughter
a nudnick!
204
00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:48,146
Oh, fiddlesticks.
205
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:51,950
I just remember I sent
that nice Mr. X over there.
206
00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:53,818
Oh, I'm sorry.
207
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:57,922
Oh. Well, we have an opening
for a waiter.
208
00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:00,125
- Sorry, not my table.
209
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:03,094
- Oh, they need a checker
at Meinke's Grocery.
210
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:05,697
- Excuse me, I don't see
any blue in this collar.
211
00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:11,803
- Hmmm, did you say
you wanted something
212
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:13,237
in the mucho moolah range?
213
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:14,839
- Welcome to my neighborhood.
214
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,875
- Where all your meals
would be paid for,
215
00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:18,710
even those you eat at home?
216
00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:19,778
- Company car?
217
00:11:19,946 --> 00:11:21,646
- Of course, and a house.
218
00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:24,849
- [EXCITEDLY]
[CHUCKLES] Jinkies!
219
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,819
- And you'd have
no responsibilities whatsoever.
220
00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:29,187
- Sounds too good to be true.
221
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:30,855
- And why do you think that is?
222
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,291
- Because a lot of jobs
don't come with houses?
223
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:38,029
- No, Mr. Harris,
because I was making it up.
224
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:42,000
There is no job.
- No job?
225
00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:45,970
- This employment agency
only services the real world.
226
00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:49,107
Now as far as I can see,
you have no skills,
227
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:52,610
and you have only
ridiculous expectations.
228
00:11:52,779 --> 00:11:53,812
I'm afraid in this town,
229
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:57,982
that makes you
virtually unemployable.
230
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:12,897
- [DEJECTEDLY]
Hi, everybody.
231
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:17,802
- Some-something wrong,
George?
232
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:21,940
- Uh, my hammer.
It's six feet under.
233
00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:24,008
Gone forever.
234
00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:26,945
- George, you have
other hammers.
235
00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:28,213
- Yeah.
236
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:30,815
They're not the same
as Old Blue.
237
00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:36,354
- Old, uh...Old--Old Blue?
238
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:38,556
- Well, I have to
call it something.
239
00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:43,361
Sounds dumb to say
you just miss a hammer.
240
00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:02,213
- Michael?
241
00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:03,314
- Well, Dick.
242
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:05,349
[SIGHS]
Page out of Ripley's.
243
00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:06,918
[CHUCKLES]
244
00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:10,922
What, uh, what
are you doing here?
245
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,258
- Joanna buried
my penny loafers.
246
00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:16,127
So wh-what are you doing here?
247
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:17,962
- Why the third degree, Dick?
248
00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:21,065
- I just thought it was
kind of odd, you know,
249
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:23,701
seeing you
at a discount shoe store.
250
00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:25,203
- Pfft, last time I checked,
251
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:27,338
browsing for Buster Browns
was still legal.
252
00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:34,045
- All right, Harris.
Break is over. Back to work.
253
00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:40,185
- Michael, you--
you work here?
254
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:42,353
[SOBS]
255
00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:46,291
- Promise you'll never
tell another human being
256
00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:47,292
you saw me here?
257
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:50,061
- Sure.
- Blood buddy promise?
258
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,996
- Do you work here?
- No, he does.
259
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,298
- A little louder, Dick.
260
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,566
There's someone across
the street who didn't hear you!
261
00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:58,203
- Good afternoon, madam.
262
00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:01,572
May I show you something from
our collection of fine vinyl?
263
00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:06,544
- Steph's going to think
I'm a failure!
264
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:10,481
- Michael, there's nothing wrong
with working in a shoe store.
265
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:13,284
What--what are you?
The manager?
266
00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:15,453
[SOBS]
267
00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:20,258
- The, uh, the assistant
manager?
268
00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:23,761
- My official title is
junior apprentice shoe stocker.
269
00:14:23,930 --> 00:14:25,930
[SOBS]
270
00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:28,799
- You the new apprentice?
271
00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:30,768
- No, that would be him.
272
00:14:30,937 --> 00:14:32,904
- So you're the guy
that got my old job.
273
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,107
- Look, mister, if you need
anyone to show you the ropes,
274
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:38,309
call on me.
The name's Timmy.
275
00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:42,113
[SOBS]
276
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:47,151
It's okay, mister.
I cried, too, my first day.
277
00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:52,723
[CLEARS THROAT]
278
00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:54,959
- Sit down, Dick.
Pretend you're buying shoes.
279
00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:56,327
- I am buying shoes.
280
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:58,363
- Perfect!
281
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:06,905
Four days ago, I was
Michael Harris, TV wonder kid.
282
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,172
Now look at me.
283
00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:10,241
I'm touching people's feet!
284
00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:13,611
Wow, narrow dogs, Dick.
285
00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:19,417
- Maybe, uh, maybe you'll learn
something about yourself.
286
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:21,085
- Really, Dick, can't we
crank the dimmer switch
287
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,788
on that bright side?
288
00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:26,490
I want to be
Michael Harris again!
289
00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:28,126
- You didn't stop being
Michael Harris
290
00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:29,894
just because you lost your job.
291
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:32,496
- Wake up, Dick!
I push pumps!
292
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:37,402
- Michael, you may have
slipped a few rungs
293
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:40,071
on that ladder of success,
294
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:43,474
but you're still on...
on that ladder.
295
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:44,809
The...the important thing
is to--
296
00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:47,011
to give it
all you've got and--
297
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:49,113
and take some pride
in what you do.
298
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,081
- I don't know, Dick.
299
00:15:51,017 --> 00:15:52,383
Timmy left some
pretty big shoes to fill.
300
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,921
- Timmy may be good,
but you could be better.
301
00:15:57,090 --> 00:16:01,459
I mean, try selling shoes
the Michael Harris way.
302
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:06,464
- Right!
The Michael Harris way!
303
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:13,204
Here, Dick. Why don't you
slip these on for size?
304
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,074
- Um, uh, Michael, Michael,
305
00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:17,108
they're...
they're a little tight.
306
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:18,843
- [DESPERATELY]
Please, please, Dick!
307
00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:20,979
I need this sale bad!
308
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,085
- Maybe after
a little breaking in
309
00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:28,119
th-they'll be all right.
310
00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:29,854
- Well, you'll be sure
to want to buy
311
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:31,122
some of these
shoe stretchers.
312
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:32,123
- Michael, I-I--
313
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,292
- [PLEADING] Please,
please, Dick!
314
00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:38,029
Please!
I need this sale bad!
315
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,000
Oh, thank you.
316
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:44,302
Thank you!
I love this man so much.
317
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:50,208
- He'll be--
he'll be with you in a minute.
318
00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:01,319
- Thank you, George.
319
00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:03,488
You're very good
in an emergency.
320
00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:06,257
- I never built
an eyeshadow rack before.
321
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:10,495
Did I ever tell you about
the time Old Blue and I...
322
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:12,563
- Yes, yes, George.
323
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,169
- Hi.
Ready to gaze in wonder
324
00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:20,471
at the remnants
of simpler times?
325
00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:24,608
- Larry, it's--it's only been a
week.
326
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:28,879
A time capsule is supposed
to be buried for...100 years.
327
00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:32,350
- We had to open it early.
Darryl put in a library book.
328
00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:36,521
- Larry, isn't this silly?
329
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,956
I mean, things can
hardly change in a week.
330
00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:40,158
- Sure they can!
331
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:43,894
For starters, Michael
isn't a TV producer anymore,
332
00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:47,231
and our friend,
that nice Mr. X, is.
333
00:17:49,335 --> 00:17:52,236
In comparison,
time has been much kinder
334
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:55,139
to your lip print,
Miss Stephanie.
335
00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:56,474
- Raspberries in the Snow.
336
00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:59,210
I can't believe
I ever wore that shade.
337
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,280
- Maybe not
in these modern times,
338
00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:05,216
but a more archaic
Miss Stephanie did.
339
00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:09,153
And here we have some kind of
primitive pounding device.
340
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:10,788
- Oh boy!
341
00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:14,992
- Must feel good to see
Old Blue again, huh, George?
342
00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:16,461
- Really, Dick,
now that I have it back,
343
00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:20,064
it sounds kind of dumb
to call a hammer Old Blue.
344
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:25,203
- Look, ancient footwear.
345
00:18:25,371 --> 00:18:29,673
Evidently worn by some early
and narrow-footed townsperson.
346
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:32,676
- Thank God!
With these new shoes,
347
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:35,179
I was starting to walk
like Jerry Lewis.
348
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:40,651
- And my scarf?
349
00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:48,659
- Eck! What happened?
Tomato sauce?
350
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,361
- Yes, ma'am.
351
00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:53,664
I'm afraid I packed it
too close to Darryl's donation,
352
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,266
a Domino's pizza.
353
00:18:57,237 --> 00:18:59,237
- Here, you keep it.
354
00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:02,740
In case you meet
a nice girl...or something.
355
00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:05,543
- Uh-oh.
356
00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:08,346
It appears that someone
has violated the sanctity
357
00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:11,115
of the time capsule
for a quick snack.
358
00:19:12,185 --> 00:19:14,318
Well, Darryl, just for that,
there'll be no goin'
359
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:17,555
to the Fluff 'n Fold
for those dryer rides.
360
00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:32,236
- What's wrong, Stephanie?
361
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:35,105
- Oh, I was just remembering
the good old days
362
00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:37,175
when Michael had a job.
363
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:38,876
I miss bragging about him.
364
00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:43,648
- You know,
he's still--still Michael,
365
00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:48,886
whether he's a producer...
or some--something lower.
366
00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:55,293
- Hello, Steph.
367
00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:59,697
- Michael, why are you
talking so...plain?
368
00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:01,699
What's wrong?
369
00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:04,402
- Well, I'm uh,
I'm a wee bit wary
370
00:20:04,571 --> 00:20:05,703
about telling you this, Steph.
371
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:09,106
- Oh, you can tell me anything.
You know that.
372
00:20:09,275 --> 00:20:12,510
Now whatever it is,
can it really be that bad?
373
00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:15,079
- I'm so lucky to have someone
in my life so understanding.
374
00:20:15,248 --> 00:20:16,447
- Get to the point.
- All right.
375
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:20,651
You tell her, Dick.
376
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:22,152
- Uh, about what?
377
00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:23,521
- It was your idea.
378
00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:25,323
- What was your idea?
379
00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:30,228
- To te-tell Stephanie that...
Michael is working in a--
380
00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:31,829
in a shoe store.
381
00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:34,798
- Michael!
- [SOBS]
382
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:36,267
I guess this is goodbye,
Steph.
383
00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:37,368
- Goodbye, Michael!
384
00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:38,736
- Wait!
385
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:44,375
Wait, wait! Wait a minute!
This is crazy!
386
00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:46,711
You--you can't
break up with someone
387
00:20:46,879 --> 00:20:48,112
just because they're--
388
00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:50,180
they're working
in a-a discount shoe store.
389
00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:51,549
- Discount?
390
00:20:56,922 --> 00:21:00,524
- I thought of faking
my own death, muffin.
391
00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:03,294
Dick put jerky ideas in my head
about being proud of myself,
392
00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:04,762
no matter what I do!
393
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,498
- He would say
something like that!
394
00:21:09,469 --> 00:21:10,668
- Dick, do you always
have to meddle
395
00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:13,137
in other people's business?
396
00:21:13,306 --> 00:21:15,205
- I'm not--I'm not meddling.
I mean, there's--
397
00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:17,708
there's nothing wrong
with--with selling shoes.
398
00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:18,743
- Well, Dick,
if you're through slapping
399
00:21:19,746 --> 00:21:21,279
a condemned sign on my heart,
I'll be going.
400
00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,347
- I'll miss you, Michael.
- I'll miss you, too, Steph.
401
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:26,717
- Wait, wait! That's it?
402
00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:30,187
I mean...you--
you give up so easily?
403
00:21:30,356 --> 00:21:31,756
- Well, come on, Dick.
I could never respect someone
404
00:21:31,924 --> 00:21:33,857
who dates a stockboy.
405
00:21:36,496 --> 00:21:38,228
- I mean, you've been going
together for five years.
406
00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:40,498
You--you--you can't
give up that easily.
407
00:21:40,667 --> 00:21:42,533
- What difference does it make
how long we've been linked?
408
00:21:42,702 --> 00:21:45,503
I'm a...a shoe man!
409
00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:49,573
- Michael, wait. Don't go.
410
00:21:49,742 --> 00:21:52,643
I think Dick finally said
something that makes sense.
411
00:21:54,447 --> 00:21:55,646
- Law of averages.
412
00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:59,684
- And it had
something to do with us?
413
00:21:59,852 --> 00:22:03,387
- Yes. Bear with me
for a minute.
414
00:22:03,556 --> 00:22:05,623
Doesn't this all remind you
415
00:22:05,792 --> 00:22:09,126
of that sappy Christmas movie
you like so much?
416
00:22:09,329 --> 00:22:10,861
- Silent Night, Deadly Night?
417
00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:14,164
- No. That other one,
418
00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:17,501
where all those horrible things
happened to that poor banker.
419
00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:18,836
- It's a Wonderful Life .
420
00:22:19,004 --> 00:22:22,373
- That's it, and no matter
how bad it got,
421
00:22:22,542 --> 00:22:25,609
that brave and lovely woman
stood right by his side,
422
00:22:25,778 --> 00:22:27,445
and in the end,
all these people came over
423
00:22:27,613 --> 00:22:29,613
and gave them
big piles of cash.
424
00:22:30,950 --> 00:22:32,616
- Yeah, I love that ending.
425
00:22:33,619 --> 00:22:35,486
Stephanie, are you saying
you'd be willing to consider
426
00:22:35,655 --> 00:22:39,490
being the brave and lovely
cupcake by my side?
427
00:22:39,659 --> 00:22:42,426
- I think I could play that.
428
00:22:42,628 --> 00:22:43,927
You could be
my Jimmy Stewart...
429
00:22:44,096 --> 00:22:47,565
and I'll be
your Michelle Pfeiffer.
430
00:22:50,102 --> 00:22:52,269
- Wasn't that Donna Reed?
431
00:22:52,438 --> 00:22:54,538
- Not in my version.
432
00:22:54,707 --> 00:22:56,407
- Then we still have a chance?
433
00:22:57,610 --> 00:22:59,243
- Lean on me, Michael.
434
00:22:59,412 --> 00:23:01,912
Somehow I'll find the strength
to get us through these
435
00:23:02,081 --> 00:23:05,015
very troubled
and hopefully temporary times.
436
00:23:06,352 --> 00:23:09,553
- Jeepers creepers, cuppers!
It is a wonderful life!
437
00:23:12,492 --> 00:23:15,493
[APPLAUSE]
438
00:23:19,932 --> 00:23:24,502
- What--what is it they say?
Whenever two dumbbells ring...
439
00:23:26,706 --> 00:23:28,406
An angel gets his wings?
440
00:23:35,882 --> 00:23:38,883
[♪♪♪]
441
00:24:04,710 --> 00:24:05,709
- Meow.
33977
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